#no shade to people that ship it for real you do you homie

[natjennie]

the captain and thomas is such a funny ship to me. it's borderline hate sex like cap staring in awe at thomas as he gracefully struts about and relishing in his beautiful curls and chiseled features or w/e and then he opens his mouth and cap's like fucking christ never mind. because it's basically the same storyline as fanny and humphrey's body. cap has free reign to explore his sexuality and finally be comfortable finding a man attractive as long as thomas doesn't talk at any point. and I think that's hysterical.

[runningfrom2am]

🏹 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐚𝐫𝐜𝐡𝐞𝐫: send me anything and let's just talk ab it!! not necessarily obx, but if you want to talk ab characters, theories, anything like that i am absolutely all ears!

myyy second question, thoughts on jiara/jjpope (generally obx ships?)

ooo okay so this is a hot topic and here are my thoughts:

i feel like jjiara was honestly rushed into s3. they're cute, so so so cute and i do really love them together but i haven't been convinced that they were the plan from the beginning, outside of kie homie hopping her way through the group and jj was the only one left. (also that jj mentioned in s1 that he thought she was hot and he 'tried that door and it was closed'.) but yeah they are so cute together and i cannot wait for s4 where we get more of them!!

(also this is NOT me shading kie at all like i am known to homie hop a lil bit there is no shame in it, she's so real for that honestly lol)

okay so this may be the controversial part- i honestly don't ship jjpope, like at all. i really don't see them together in any way other than platonic, BUT they are really cute as friends and i wish we had more content with them as a duo bc they are so iconic and i love their friendship!!

(again, no shade, no hate to people who do ship them!! yall are slaying and i love this energy for you but it's just not my vibe idk i can't get into it)

as far as other ships go i honestly stick to canon bc I'm pretty boring, but i do really wish we got more mashups of different character dynamics together!!

[boognish-worshipper]

Sunrise, Sunset

switching it up with a franklin and lamar centered fic (not exactly as a ship buuut more or less some one sided feelings?) jus a silly little idea i had that was originally gonna be a one shot sorta thing or whatever,, changed my mind tho n i’m jus gonna split it up, this is part one !!

i feel like lamar would be very oblivious about his feelings towards frank tbh LMFAOOO

//

Lamar and Franklin sometimes drove out to the highest point in Los Santos to watch the sunrise. Well, more Lamar than Franklin, seeing as Franklin preferred to sleep in. He often dragged him out of bed to go take Chop out and see the sun peak up from the horizon, lighting the city up with natural reds and yellows.

“C’mon you lazy fuck, we gon’ miss it!”

“Lamar, the sun rises every fuckin’ day! Trust me, it’ll be there tomorrow.”

“You jus’ a lazy bum who don’t wanna get his lazy bum ass outta bed. Man get up already!”

Chop barked, and Lamar nodded to him.

“Yeah, you right Chop. This muhfucker don’t wanna budge, huh? Don’t even wanna take his precious dog for a walk. You oughta be ashamed of yoself Frank.”

“Chop wasn’t even my dog to begin with!”

“Man fuck you, you became co-parent of him when you had to take him in!”

Franklin could only groan into his pillow, missing the blissful sleep he had been shaken awake from.

“Just go away Lamar! Damn!”

He felt the taller man looming over him, grabbing his shoulders to shake him further awake.

“We’re running outta time, fool. C’mon, I’ll let you ride shotgun this time.”

Chop barked in protest.

“Chop, it’s the only way we might get him out the house.”

Accepting that arguing would get him nowhere, Franklin sat up right, glaring at Lamar.

“For fucks sake man, fine. I’ll go. Jus’ lemme throw on some clothes that ain’t the shit I wore to bed.”

Lamar grinned widely at him.

“Fuck yeah! Chop, let’s go wait in the car.”

The small dog trotted not too far behind Lamar’s long legs. Franklin wondered what force he disturbed that landed him in this position. He sighed, knowing that he wasn’t exactly a saint, so there wasn’t much to wonder at all. If this was his punishment then so be it. The car ride wasn’t too long, especially not after Franklin moving out of Strawberry to Vinewood Hills, making it easier for them to get there. Minimal traffic because of how early it was helped too. Lamar never dropped his grin, just happy to do his favorite thing with his favorite person. Who wouldn’t love watching the sunrise with their best friend? Especially seeing the way the sun lit his face up, a delicate smile on his face seeing an excellent sunrise and- Woah. Where’d that come from? Lamar figured it was just his excitement to see a particularly gorgeous sunrise, using that as an excuse for the feeling that sat in his gut. As soon as they pulled up to the spot, he bounced out of his seat, keeping the door open for Chop.

“We here homie!”

“Mhm.. so where the fuck’s the sunrise?”

“Patience Frank, patience.”

“But you jus’ fuckin’ bitched at me for the last half hour about how we was gon’ miss it! Fuck you mean patience?!”

“It’s coming! Don’t ruin a moment that’s gon’ be special, F.”

He grunted in Lamar’s direction, turning around to go play with Chop for the time being. The sunrise crept up, a ray of sunlight hitting Lamar in the eye. He blocked the light with his hand, hitting Franklin with his free one.

“Ay Frank, look!”

The sunrise that crawled up from the depths of the horizon shone in glimmers of gold and pretty shades of orange. Lamar smiled again.

“Man.. look at that. It’s beautiful ain’t it-“ He turned to face Franklin, who was caught in a trance. The sun hit his face just right, and he looked incredible. Like some sort of focused statue or whatever. It was alright to admire your homies like that, right? Nothin’ wrong with admiring a dude. Franklin turned back to answer him.

“Yeah, it sure is.. you good man?”

Lamar coughed slightly, shifting his weight onto one of his feet.

“Uh.. yeah man, just thought I saw a bug crawling on yo face or sum’. But damn, I’m glad we caught this.”

“Me too. But I’m still pissed you dragged me outta bed so fuckin’ early.”

“Man what’d I say? Don’t bitch while we havin’ a moment!”

Franklin only laughed and Lamar felt something in him stir. It was good to hear him laugh.

“So now what?”

“Well, if we leave now by the time we get back into the city some of them diners should be open for breakfast.”

“This early in the day?”

“Believe it or not Frank but the rest of society does their shit earlier than you. So ya, people eat this early.”

They went back to the car, with Chop riding shotgun this time. Franklin wanted to rest his eyes until they got to whatever food place Lamar was taking them to, earning a snarky comment from him. Lamar wanted to pick a decent place to eat and eventually settled on an old diner they went to as kids. He poked Franklin, reanimating him back to life.

“Look where we at dog.”

“Ohh shit, this that diner we used to go to after school everyday! It’s still in business?”

“Guess so man. Let’s go!”

“Wait! What about Chop?”

Shit. Right. Chop looked at the two men, tilting his head sadly.

“You wanna jus’ bring the food back to yo crib?”

“Eh fuck it. Why not.”

They decided on some basic breakfast food and brought it back to Franklin’s place. The big windows in his kitchen would illuminate the room well enough, and Lamar could value the view from there.

“So tell me Lamar, why’s it you only wanna go see the sunrise? You never mention watchin’ the sunset dog.”

“Ion really know myself homie. One day I just started gettin’ up early wit’ Chop to go walkin’ n shit.”

“Can we watch the sunset sometime then? I am tired of gettin’ up at the asscrack of dawn.”

“That’s cuz you ain’t get yo 9 hours dog.”

“Man, shut the fuck up. Who the hell gets 9 hours at our age? Bozo.”

“I’m just sayin’ maybe if you got some normal sleep for fuckin’ once you wouldn’t be such a GD grouch.”

“Whatever you say bro.”

The two finished their food in comfortable silence, with Franklin scolding Lamar at least once or twice for feeding Chop table scraps.

“So whatchu wanna do now?”

“We could always go catch a movie or sum’, maybe go see that Meltdown movie ya boy Mike was talkin’ ‘bout.”

“Yeah, I never did get the chance to go see it, with all the chaotic bullshit goin’ on.”

They left Chop at home after a long goodbye from Lamar, telling him that as soon as they got back that he would get all the treats in the world and all that other mushy shit. Franklin mocked the high-pitched voice he used to speak to Chop, earning a smack in the arm from Lamar.

They arrived for a matinee showing at the the theater closest to Franklin’s house, getting a bunch of complimentary snacks and some drinks. The movie was awful, but in a way that it was enjoyable to watch. A movie so bad it was good. Franklin kept leaning in to whisper to Lamar how corny the whole thing was, saying that it was definitely right up Michael’s alley. He ignored the closeness between him and his friend as best as he could, but he still shuffled in his seat awkwardly.

“Hey uh, Frank. I’mma go to the bathroom real quick, stretch my legs n shit.”

“Aight, see you in a minute homie.”

His walk to the bathroom felt stagnant, and when he got there all he could do was look at himself in the mirror. What the fuck was his problem right now?

“Get it the fuck together LD. It’s just Frank, it’s nothing weird. Chill out.” He spoke aloud to himself.

He splashed water in his face and walked back to the room showing Meltdown. The movie was almost over and Franklin didn’t make anymore comments. Lamar sighed inwardly, just wanting to get out of there already, despite the whole going-to-see-a-movie thing being his idea to begin with. He didn’t know why he was feeling the way he did right now, and he didn’t know how to make it go away. Franklin leaned over to whisper in his ear once more, sending a chill down Lamar’s spine.

“Dog, this movie sucks and it’s almost over anyway, you wanna just get out of here?”

“Uh.. yeah, yeah. Chop’s prolly missin’ us right now anyway.”

Lamar drove them back this time, driving a lot faster than he should’ve been.

“Woah, homie slow down! What’s the fuckin’ rush for?!”

“I jus’.. Ion know I’m not feelin’ too hot right now and I really jus’ wanna get back to yo place. Maybe lie down or sum’..”

“That ain’t gon’ happen if we get in a fuckin’ car wreck though!”

He slowed it down a bit hearing Franklin’s concerned tone, frustrated by that feeling again. It was like an itch he couldn’t scratch. They pulled up into Frank’s driveway, Lamar nearly knocking over his recycling can, earning another disgruntled comment from Franklin.

“You been actin’ so weird bro, what’s goin’ on?”

“I honestly don’t know. Maybe the food we had jus’ not sittin’ right wit’ me.”

“Well, like you said go lie down or sum’. You wanna sleep in my bed for now? I’ll go take care of Chop or-“

“Uh sure, aight. I’mma go.. do that.”

Franklin looked at him like he had two heads, lifting a brow up in suspicion.

“Aight then, holla at me when you feel somewhat better.”

Lamar basically ran down the stairs to Franklin’s room, closing the door tight behind him. He slid down the door, looking straight ahead. Why did he feel so- so weird right now? He had a pleasant day overall with his best friend, what could possibly be bothering him?? He tossed his head back, making a small thud sound against the door. Groaning out loud, he did a walkthrough of today. He drove to Franklin’s, wanting to see the sunrise. Nothing unusual, this was a common thing they did. The sunrise was pretty, and lit everything up wonderfully. Again, nothing out of the ordinary. Franklin wasn’t entirely a buzzkill when they made it there, if anything he looked tranquil, the sun making his brown eyes glow. Then what? They got food, which tasted just like how he remembered from when Frank and him were just teens. Went to a movie which they basically talked the whole way through, Franklin continuously whispering in his ear. His voice so low and close made him feel hot all over, but it was just because whispering was like that no matter who was doing it. So what the hell was his problem right now? He must not have noticed how long he was in there, because he heard a light tap at the door.

“Lamar? You good homie?”

He rushed to stand up, pretending like he just woke from a short nap.

“Uh, yeah dog, doin’ just fine. Think layin’ down helped.”

“Good. You want me to take you home or do you wanna stay here?”

Part of Lamar wanted to stay just to be around Franklin a little while longer. The other part of him wanted to run right out the door. He thought it over, and figured he might need time to himself. He didn’t think he had it in him to be around Franklin after such a strange day. At least, a strange day for him. Franklin was thankful for the fact they had one normal day to hangout without shenanigans on Lamar’s part… besides the way he had been acting up to now.

“I think I’mma jus’ head back.”

“Aight then.”

The car ride back was silent. Lamar felt like the air was suffocating him, like any minute he’d pass out. He shifted in his seat to look out the window, familiar streets coming up. He didn’t want to look at Franklin for some reason, turning away from him.

“Hey, we here.”

He sat up, getting ready to get out of the car, until Franklin grabbed his wrist. Lamar felt like he was burning him with the contact.

“Ay man, what the fuck’s your problem today?”

“I already told you, it was the food or sum’, chill out dog.”

He loosened his grip, looking unsatisfied with his answer.

“Man fine, but if you hidin’ somethin’ from me I wanna fuckin’ know.”

“I’m not, I promise you.”

“You better not be, you mysterious bitch. Remember, you dragged me out of bed to hangout today.”

He winced, feeling guilty somehow.

“Yeah F, I know.”

Lamar looked back at his house, not wanting to get caught in Franklin’s death stare.

“I’ll see ya later or sum’ Frank.”

“See ya homie.”

He turned back, watching Franklin drive away. Torn between a relieved mood, and a pang of loneliness. As he walked inside his house, he slammed the door in frustration. Franklin and him were on the same page- he didn’t know why he was acting the way he was. Pulling his phone out of his pocket, he went to a last resort to get an idea of something. That stupid psychic shoutout website that was growing in popularity. At least it was free.

Hello. What brings you to Miss Marcy’s site?

fuck you think, lady. help me out here

What with?

some fuckin explanation for why i feel weird rn

Were you just with a friend?

uh yeah

kinda why i’m here to begin with

I see. How close are you to said friend?

well, he like a brother to me ig? idk

never thought 2 deeply abt it.

A family friend? Hmm… I’m seeing the letter F, or T.

damn, you kinda good. it’s f

Wait a minute, I’m getting another letter. L!

yeah! my name starts with l!

You wouldn’t happen to be… I see it now… Lamar?

woah, you really fuckin good lady.

Well, I know I’m a psychic, but I have a feeling I spoke to your friend already.

you did?

Since when did Franklin visit stupid sites like this? He felt a blush creeping onto his face, wondering if Franklin might’ve been in the same boat as him at some point.

Yes. I think I have the answer to your problem, Lamar

please.

anything’ll help

Are you absolutely sure you want to hear it?

When I spoke to your friend, he didn’t seem too pleased with what I had to say.

c’mon lady don’t be a cocktease rn i need help

Well… okay.

You love him.

uh duh

he’s my best friend

why wouldn’t i?

No, I mean

You’re… *in* love with him.

His jaw went slack. He stared blankly at the screen. What?

the fuck?

uh no

ain’t no way.

I’m seeing a long time friendship. Lots of pining.

you ain’t seeing shit lady

u got it wrong

I knew you would say this - you can be mad at me all you want, but think it over

seriously, just think it over.

SERVICE UNAVAILABLE. PLEASE TRY AGAIN LATER.

“Fuck.” He whispered to himself.

“Fuck!”

He tossed his phone across the room onto his worn down couch. That didn’t solve his problem. If anything, it just made it worse. Love? Franklin? Him? What the fuck was that bitch smoking? He threw his palms over his face, groaning. He didn’t wanna think about what the fuck she meant. Because there was no way in hell he was in love with Frank. He couldn’t be. That was his day one. His best friend. That would be wrong, right? He paced around his living room, mind racing too quick for his liking. That couldn’t be the explanation for today. No way. That’s just ridiculous. There’s no way… no way he-

Then he thought about it. Like, really thought about it. The gears in his head were running at full speed now.

“Oh shit.”

//end of pt 1!!!!! this is already long as is, and i think i’m gonna finish it in another part or so. apologies for any grammatical errors ofc 🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

[charmandhex]

Continuation of this

For @terezis, because Ginny was very excited about the original

~

“This is it?”

There’s a lot that Taako is conveying in those three words. Disbelief, displeasure, and disgust chief among them, though there might be some disappointment and dismay hidden in there as well. Kravitz looks between Taako and the pitiful museum the size of a handkerchief that the residents of the Astral Plane call a kitchen, clearly annoyed.

“What’s wrong with it?” Kravitz asks, throwing his hands up in exasperation. “You asked for a kitchen. This is a kitchen!”

“In the loosest possible sense of the term.” Taako waves a hand at the room that Kravitz has the audacity to call a kitchen, nose wrinkled in distaste. “That stove looks like it’s older than I am. No, older than Merle. No, older than you. You’re old, right?”

The look on Kravitz’s face says that if the Grim Reaper had any blood floating around in his construct body, his face would be tending toward an interesting shade of purple right now.

Taako clicks his tongue and steps in further, cautious, undecided if he’s worried that the antiques will fall apart around him or if he’s worried that Kravitz is going to attempt to actually dump him in the soul soup. He drags a fingertip across the counter. Dusty, no doubt from disuse spanning years. The refrigerator is running, but it’s certainly not winning any marathons any time soon. It’d be better off with its door ripped off and chucked into the Millers’ floating trash room. The stove is... clean. And hopefully won’t blow up the Raven Queen’s whole castle in some kind of magical gas explosion. The sink works, and Taako sincerely hopes it has a different water source than the one single body of water in this plane. The equipment is limited, down mostly to the essentials, plus one blender that somehow looks as though it may be haunted. The food sitch is even worse: there’s salt, a bottle of chocolate sauce, a frozen protein of some kind that’s seemingly been tucked in the back of the freezer for so long that Taako can no longer identify what it even is, a few magically preserved potatoes that are still sprouting, and some Fantasy Twinkies that have not been magically preserved but are probably still doing better than the potatoes by virtue (or sin) of being Fantasy Twinkies.

“Well?” Kravitz asks, impatient, tapping his foot, single, single, triple, over and over again. “Will this do?”

Taako slowly turns around, blowing out a long breath. “Listen. Kravitz. I have worked in some, uh, unconventional kitchens in my time. I have used the world’s most pathetic campfire to flambé in a rainstorm. I have made soufflé in a moving wagon. I cooked for seven people in a galley kitchen in a ship that flew forward, back, sideways, upside down, and in loop-de-loops for 100 years!” Taako’s voice rises in pitch and volume as he goes, ending by throwing his arms out wide. “So when I tell you I can handle any and every kind of kitchen, you know that’s true. But, uh, my guy, even I can’t pull together a decent meal with what you birdbrains call a stocked pantry!”

Kravitz at once starts angrily sputtering, flashes of the ol’ red-eyed skull coming through before he sighs and closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose. “You’re a wizard. Can’t you- can’t you transmute or conjure food or something!”

Taako huffs before crossing his arms, leaning back into the kitchen counter. “I... can’t.” He admits. The words hang in the air for a long moment.

Kravitz seems to have traded aggravation for confusion. “You can’t what?”

“I can’t do magic.”

“Well, yeah,” a third voice pipes up, and both Taako and Kravitz jump. A young-looking elf, maybe mid-70s, walks out of the inky blackness that has a habit of collecting in corners around here. He’s scrawny, the kind of scrawny Taako recognizes from years on the road, and there’s a shadow under his eyes that Taako thinks death should have cleared up. “It’s part of that whole mess with the deal you two made. Yeah, it’s some kind of nasty magic Fate thread tangle apparently, but ‘course Istus knows more about that.”

“So it’s your fault!” Taako shouts, pointing an accusatory finger at Kravitz.

“Now hold on, we- we both made that deal- Keats, help a Reaper out here-” Kravitz pleads with the new arrival for backup.

“No, he’s right; it is your fault,” Keats throws over his shoulder as he starts digging into the Fantasy Twinkies. Taako has a new favorite employee of the Raven Queen already.

“Now- now wait just a- wait, wait, how did you already know you couldn’t do magic then, hm? Hm?” Kravitz retorts. “Trying to escape were you?”

Taako rolls his eyes. “Uh, no shit, I would have, but not even Mage Hand worked.”

“How come you wanted to do Mage Hand?” Keats asks, mouth full of Fantasy Twinkie and eyes full of mirth as he watches the show.

“To do this,” Taako answers, flipping off Kravitz.

“That’s just rude!” Kravitz throws a hand to his chest, looking offended.

“So’s making a bad deal to trap me in the Astral Plane and steal my magic!”

“I didn’t steal your magic! It’s just... tangled! And for the last time, that wasn’t even my intention, and you shook on it, too!”

Taako inhales, preparing to (loudly) relitigate this argument.

“I have a question,” Keats announces. Taako and Kravitz look over. “Taako, right? Can you make lemon bars?”

Taako blinks. “Can I- of course I can make fuckin’ lemon bars! Best fuckin’ lemon bars on that side of the veil, but that’s not happening over here right now.”

“Make ya a deal.” Keats brushes his hands together matter-of-factly. “Better deal than the one Kravitz made too.”

“That’s not a high bar.”

“Hey!”

“If you make a list of everything you need, I’ll pop over to the Prime Material Plane and make a shopping run. IF you make lemon bars. Uh-uh, no shaking on this one. I don’t want to somehow get tangled up in-” Keats waves a hand at Taako and Kravitz. “Whatever that mess is.”

“Done. Kid, you do this, and I’ll make you enough lemon bars to be a real boy.” Taako starts writing rapidly as Keats passes over pen and paper, either from his pocket or a pocket dimension, Taako doesn’t know or care.

“Thanks, but I’m millennia older than you,” Keats says cheerily.

Kravitz is sputtering again. Taako is mostly ignoring it.

“Keats, you’re grounded.”

“Yeah, but I’m less grounded than you.”

“That’s not even how it works.”

“Is too. You’re double grounded. One, you really boned this one up. And B, you have to stay here with Taako.” Taako tunes out further arguing until his (very long, because again, there is NOTHING in this kitchen) list is done. Keats takes it with a wink and a grin and an “Okay, bye!” as he cuts off Kravitz and disappears back into the shadows.

Kravitz lets out a groan before looking back to Taako.

“Don’t look at me!”

“Keats should be out for a few hours,” Kravitz says wearily. “Time passes at the same speed in both planes, and it’s been a while since he visited.”

“Cool,” Taako says shortly before he turns away, starting to open cupboards again. Someone in the Astral Plane does at least seem to care about kitchen cleanliness, even if they don’t use the thing, and Taako pulls out dish soap.

“Aren’t you going... don’t you want to go somewhere else?”

Taako looks back. “Kitchen’s not gonna clean itself, and thanks to a certain someone, I don’t have magic to help with that.” He explains, carefully weighting the individual words with every measure of his irritation.

“But I have paperwork,” Kravitz whines.

“So go do paperwork,” Taako snaps. You know, it really is a pity that Kravitz is as annoying as he is, because any other time, it probably would have been an upgrade to go from incredibly handsome man staring at him to being indefinitely stuck with said incredibly handsome man. Not that Taako’s gonna tell Kravitz that.

“But I have to make sure you don’t cause trouble.” Yeah, Kravitz’s looks do not make up for his personality. Or his bone-headed decisions.

“Sounds like a you problem, homie.” And before Kravitz can reply again, Taako shuts a cabinet door with a little more force than necessary. “Listen. If I have to be responsible for my own Fantasy Be Our Guest dinner and a show song and dance number in this particular spooky old castle then I will, but I’m not doing that in a dirty kitchen.”

Defeated, Kravitz blows out what might be his longest sigh yet. “I’ll get my paperwork.”

[discrunkled-twog]

🍴🖊🤗🕊🌈 for whomever?

I just realized I talk a lot less about my OCs than I thought I did, okay. XD

Luckily, my biggest current project has 5 mostly developed main characters, so I'll choose one for each, I suppose.

🍴 Go off about their eating habits.

For this one, I pick Phoebe. She bakes a lot, and has a big sweet tooth. She often makes like, an easy batch of cookies if she can, and likes to experiment with flavors and decoration and such. She does bake for the cafe she works at, but she definitely enjoys it, so she doesn't mind at all. Her favorite food is lemon cake with buttercream.

🕊 What colors and symbolism do you usually associate with the character?

Francis! Hello there, buddy! He's nice. His hair is a sort of shade of green, (he dyed it) and it was his favorite color for a while. I do see him as a green type of person, though because the original outfit I drew him with was a purple turtleneck, I also associate him with the color purple. As for symbolism, he reminds me of art in general, I think. Mostly the Mona Lisa, due to his original design.

🖋 Would you say they are a hero, a villain, or an anti-hero? Why?

Nelly, oh how I love you... Ah, so see... This is a superhero project, though the only real superhero is Oliver. She isn't a major major character, really, but let's see... She's good at heart, though she's a bit of a trickster. In general, she likes messing with people, usually because she conducts strange experiments on people. None are harmful, though. She gets bored. In fact, she hasn't spoken in public for almost a year and a half, at this point.

🤗 How many relationships are they in before their main ship? Or do they end up alone? How come?

Oliver, my silly protagonist... He doesn't really have an "endgame ship," since I'm a big ol' fandom homie. I thought, "Hey, if this becomes a real thing, I'd like to leave it open to interpretation." Much shipping potential, though. The two main characters he's always with are very much shippable in my eyes, even though as a superhero protagonist, he does have encounters with several female love interests. More in a meta, satirical matter, but still.

🌈 Are they LGBTQ+ In what ways? How do they feel about that?

SPENCER, MY BELOVEDD- Oh, the poor guy... He's very fruity. Like, soooooo fruity, God. Not really in general, it's more directed towards one guy, though he doesn't really think of it as such, and no one suspects otherwise. Not sure if he's into the ladies, since I had a VERY specific role in mind for him when I first created him. I feel bad for him, both because of this, and because of other reasons...

Thanks for the ask! :D

[sarahlevys]

SO YOU WANT TO GET INTO TWYLEXIS

(a fic rec post - last updated 10/31/2021)

11/25/20: I have been talking to a lot of people about The Good Ship Twylexis, and when @earnmysong asked me for some fic recs, I could not resist! Below are some of my favorites, organized by length. This is not intended to be an exhaustive list, and is simply composed of some of the ones I’ve read. I hope you check them out!

10/31/21: Nearly a year later, the fandom has grown by leaps and bounds! I've been able to add many excellent Twylexis fics to the below list. I tried to keep these recs focused on fics in which they are either the only ship or a substantial part of the narrative, so while there are many fics nowadays that have Twylexis as a side pairing, those will not be listed below. Now that we can be more choosy, I've also removed fics that featured Twylexis as part of a throuple or moreple (so that I can hopefully do a fic rec list for that specifically in the future!)

So I see Alexis is getting back out there. (Short Reads)

in the middle of the deep blue night – T – 577 – by @hullomoon

Alexis is all alone at the party, that is, until Twyla joins her.

in the hack – G – 2K – by thingswithwings

After Ted, and before the Next Thing, Alexis joins a curling team. She's great at it, because, what, like it's hard?

Icarus had the right idea – T – 4K – by Luthor

In which Alexis convinces Twyla to take her to the beach, and has an okay-time I guess. 

never saw you coming, never be the same – G – Podfics! 15 minutes in total – by DelilahMcMuffin, GoLBPodfics, & Amanita_Fierce

Three different perspectives from Twyla Sands and Alexis Rose's first Pride spent together as a couple.

to be your harbor – E – 4K – by @doublel27

Twyla uses some of her money on things that are special to her. Alexis is special to Twyla. Luckily, Twyla is precious to Alexis.

and it's just around the corner darling, 'cause it in lives in me (no, I could never give you peace) – T – 3K – by beepbedeep

She’s what people call the worst, most pointless kind of celebrity, a socialite, and she does it better than anyone else. It’s good, she knows it’s good, she’s serving her purpose, playing her part perfectly, and if she doesn’t really know how to be alone with herself, how to handle the actual weight of her life when the gossip blogs get bored and the photographers stop showing up for a while, that’s fine.

i knew from the beginning (it was you from the beginning) – T – 1K – by @anniemurphys

Twyla and Alexis celebrate, at a distance.

i took an arrow to the heart – G – 3K – by @sarahlevys and @landofsonlali

Twyla calls Alexis in celebration of the fourth anniversary of their friendship, and the conversation shifts to their feelings for each other. Together, they start to explore the intricacies of love and relationships.

aflame – T – 4K – by @pretendtofly

Alexis has a few days left in Schitt's Creek after the wedding and Twyla wants to spend them all together.

could be your baby, ride the same whip (oh no, no, there's no slowin' down) – T – 3K – by @turningtimeinthetardis

Alexis doubts anything too surprising will happen when she and Twyla decide to go on a little shopping spree (such as they can afford, that is) at one of Elmdale’s boutiques. Maybe they’ll encounter some truly hideous blends of patterns, but nothing stranger than that.

After all, if there’s one thing Schitt’s Creek and the surrounding suburbs can offer, it’s quiet predictability.

I weigh a hundredandfuckingsomething pounds (that makes me almost good) – G – 2K – by beepbedeep

Her legs don’t look good, but half of the girls she knows have legs that look even worse, smiles that are even more shark-toothed or arms that are even less toned, and she reminds herself that these are just the rules', that she knows the rules and knows where she’s failing, but other people are failing more.

shining, shimmering, splendid – G – 1K – by @davidbrewer

Twyla finally starts spending some of her lottery winnings on things that make her smile, and learns how much she loves to travel. Who better to show her around the world than Alexis?

ask 'em my questions and get some answers – G – 1K – by @lilythesilly

Alexis and Twyla meet at Disneyland.

a handprint on my heart – T – 4K – by averita

Five times Alexis and Twyla visit each other.

Merry Go Round – T – 2K – by Perkalil

In her first days in town, Alexis is in a rough place; she finds kindness and compassion in the local cafe waitress.

feel you on my skin – E – 1K – by @hullomoon

Alexis notices what Twyla's wearing. She has a lot of feelings about it.

you make everything good – G – by @rosedavid

Twyla has to go and visit her gaggle of cousins for two weeks, and Alexis is pouty about her girlfriend leaving for so long.

didn't ask for this – you freely gave it (so now i watch your mouth for the both of us) – T – 6K – by @turningtimeinthetardis

Alexis chops her name down to three letters like it's nothing.

Twyla thinks about it a lot.

putting roots in my dreamland – G – 4K – by @lilythesilly

A twylexis flowershop au.

(but if baby, i'm the bottom) you're the top – E – 3K – by @sarahlevys

Five times Twyla tops Alexis, and one time she lets Alexis top her.

three o'clock – E – 2K – by @schittyfic

Two tipsy girlfriends thirst over the hot, bearded guy across the bar.

shivers – E – 5K – by @anniemurphys

Alexis has a long day in an airport, and Twyla wants to take care of her.

This Stupid, Wonderful, Boring, Amazing Job – G – 1K – by @lilythesilly

A cute lil 'The Office' AU.

in calm or stormy weather – T – 4K – by @anniemurphys and @landofsonlali

On National Siblings Day, Alexis spends the day with her favorite brother Patrick, and David bonds with Twyla.

all i need is to see your face – G – 1K – by @wild-aloof-rebel

Alexis has doubts. Twyla knows how to soothe them.

got a fistful of four leaf clovers – T – 1K – by iphigenias

Two weeks before Christmas Alexis calls David.

“So I think I like someone,” she says.

all i want is you – T – 1K – by @landofsonlali

alexis is too restless to cuddle and worries about being a good partner to twyla who loves cuddling. twyla reassures her.

Fifty Shades of Gruyere – E – 2K – by @schittposting

Alexis and Twyla eat cheese and fuck.

I dreamt about you last night – G – 930 – by sonichallows

Alexis has a romantic dream about Twyla and tells her about it the next day.

Mistletoe – T – 2K – by in48frames

Alexis and Twyla go ice skating.

--

Twy, what are you doing here? You could be anywhere, doing anything. (Medium Reads)

Twyla's Cafe Podcast, An Alexis Rose Production, Produced by Alexis Rose (with help from Twyla) – T – 6K – by @whetherwoman

Twyla and Alexis start a podcast, and accidentally have some feelings along the way.

Crystal Clear – G – 6K – by @imalittlebitgogirl

Twyla and Alexis meet at a Winter Solstice celebration and bond over being newcomers...with more connections than they first realize.

take me out (and take me home) – M – 7K – by @anniemurphys and @landofsonlali

When Twyla’s Thanksgiving plans fall through at the last minute, Alexis flies back to Schitt’s Creek.

know that i’m yours (to keep) – T – 8K – by @anniemurphys

Five times Alexis and Twyla talk at Café Tropical.

And one time they talk somewhere else.

I Offer You My Heart – G – 10K – by @landofsonlali​, with art and podfic by @sunlightsymphony

Twyla is the owner of a coffee shop in Schitt's Creek and Alexis is a frequent customer, featuring pining, flirtation, and a whole lot of beverages and baked goods.

Oh Please, Not Now – T – by in48frames

“Oh,” Twyla says. “Yeah. Schitt’s Creek is super haunted."

Ladies Night Inn – T – 15K – by @imalittlebitgogirl

What if Twyla had accepted Alexis' invitation to a ladies night in her motel room after she and Mutt broke up?

i'm your moonlight, you're my star – M – 14K – by @sarahlevys and @anniemurphys

Twyla and Alexis spend the holidays together.

and the stars look very different today – T – 12K – by @hullomoon, with art from @hagface

Teaming up with a group of talented women, Alexis plans her next job

Hide Your Diamonds, Hide Your Exes – T – 8K – by @middyblue

Alexis may or may not be a diamond thief. Twyla is the FBI agent tasked with finding her.

heaven is a place not too far away – T – 8K – by @sarahlevys

Alexis' soulmate mark – the ability to sing – triggers when she moves to Schitt's Creek.

Pretty Follies – T – 9K – by @treepyful

Alexis and Twyla team up to play matchmaker for Stevie and Ruth.

Unfortunately, the course of true love never did run smooth.

Everything That We'd Ever Need – E – 12K – by @middyblue

5 times Twyla went skinny-dipping and 1 time she wore a dress.

Rollin' With the Homies – T – 9K – by @sarahlevys

The Clueless AU.

Phasers Set to Stunning – T – 9K so far (WIP – 2/4 chapters published) – by @kindofspecificstore

Patrick wins passes to San Diego Comic Con, and takes his best friend Twyla with him. Alexis Rose, rising star of Galactic Sunrise Bay, is attending for the first time and has her eyes on a super cute cosplayer.

--

I was thinking we could have a little ladies' night at my place. (Long Reads)

you and i and nobody else - E – 124K so far (WIP – 7/10 chapters published) – by @sarahlevys​ and @anniemurphys​

Twyla Sands and Alexis Rose meet on Mutt’s season of The Bachelor.

Maybe If You Stayed – E – 14K – by @fraudulentzodiac

“Years down the line, this is the moment she will look back on as the moment she should have known she was in love.“

your body’s poetry (speak to me) – E – 19K – by @anniemurphys

Ballet AU.

I’ve Only Ever Wanted Fire – M – 26K – by @sarahlevys​, with art from @rhetoricalk

Written for the prompt: Twyla is a real estate agent specializing in properties that are haunted or possessed. Alexis is looking for a new apartment.

Silence Lay Steadily – E – 44K – by @davidbrewer

A ghost story loosely inspired by The Haunting of Hill House.

like glass from sandy ground – M – 18K – by @middyblue

Five times Alexis ran from grief, and one time she didn't.

Taste of a Poison Paradise – M – 15K – by @lilythesilly

Be gay do crimes but make it a Harley Quinn AU.

Half of My Soul, as the Poets Say – E – 20K – by mixtapesandsunsets

Yes, she imagines telling the Alexis of two years ago, who had felt so untethered sitting next to Twyla outside these very rooms. You believe in fate. Your fate is right in front of you, Lex, you just need to reach out to meet it. It’s her. It has always been her.

[ofmurphys]

✰ –– hero coffee roasters. 2pm, on a tuesday.

this bitch wants a frappu-fuckin’-ccino. murphy blinks and pastes on a smile. jesus. fake-owning this shithole’s getting real old these days. “ oh, hun, of course i can improvise that sugar rush for you. don’t even fret it. we totally keep vats of that fake java just lying around. ”  honestly, murph can’t tell what’s worse –– the fact that this cardboard cutout vsco girl even asked, or the fact that she actually believes her.

hero coffee roasters loses a customer that day. as the doorbell jingles shut with the force of the girl’s slam, murphy pops a redhot into her mouth and chews. does nothing to hide her growing smirk. yeah, yeah. 

good riddance.

or alternatively :  hey demons, it’s me, ya gurl !  back at it again with my very snakey shadow gorl. click that read more to learn about this gorgeous amoral piece of ass. i’m trying out a new intro format, so... bear with me !  i hope y’all enjoy, and pls hmu on discord for plots !  

murph is... straight up trouble. so if you want drama ?  you want bullshit & compulsive lies ?  you want ill-founded rage with no apologies later ?  you’ve come to the right place .

this is the story of a girl who cried a river and drowned the whole world . . .   just kidding. murphy berman doesn’t shed tears for shit.

— && guests may mistake me as ( zoe kravitz ), but really i am ( murphy berman + cisfemale + she/her ) and my DOB is ( 11/7/1994 ). i am a ( “ coffee shop owner ” ) and would like to stay in suite ( 306 ). i won’t be much of a bother because i am ( + cunning & fierce ), but i can also be ( - acetous & cutthroat ) at times. personally, i like to ( code, flick gum wrappers at pigeons, bring my pet turtle to the movies, sit back and watch shit burn ) when i have the time to relax, and my favorite snack is ( those purple doritos, y'know. chili or whatever the fuck  ) to have in my suite. thank you for checking in !

i n s p o .

coffee shop –– hero coffee roasters.

pinterest.

soundcloud –– soul sounds.

soul anthem.

b a c k d r o p .  ( tw: drug mentions, alcoholic tendencies, alcohol, crime, allusions to domestic violence, violence, murder. )

2am, bar’s closed. but braids still sits, forearms draped atop the counter, shades askew. as you restock new handles, she raises a finger, like she might say something, then pours herself another bourbon. cutting her off is the least of your worries –– it doesn’t take a genius to tell this cookie can handle her own. and the shit she’s spewing ?  something tells you this has never been aired before.

“ so picture the fuck outta this, bub. ”  a swig.  “ you’re born and before you even got the wherewithal to speak, you’re shipped off to some graham cracker family in the  ‘ burbs. you start leapfrogging –– my term, tee-em –– ”  a tattooed finger traces the symbol into the air accordingly. “ and after a while, it’s a game. hop a house, stay a while, see how much of their shit you can pocket. ”  nostalgic sighs accompany a litany of stolen goods :  cash. jewelry. first edition tetris game, hand-fuckin’-held. the hoopers’ prized gold kazoo.

don’t believe her ?  onto black marble slides proof. 

“ then you land. hard. the fuckin’ landry’s. ”  a scornful chuckle. “ miss me with that white picket fence ass shit. but they get you your first comp, so... when they ask to adopt you, you’re like. i dunno, man. sure, i guess ?  and guess wrong. ”  turns out the landry’s aren’t as warm or welcoming as they claim. their youngest kid dies, freak accident. monkey bars. “ family falls apart worse than that time you tried to make a ball from fresh cigarette ash. you were eleven. ”  tattooed over the scar.

braids tells you ‘bout the party being over. the bruising. but she laughs through it, rolls her eyes like she’s talking ‘bout silly old friends instead of terrible old people.

her birth mother finds her. they meet up a few times in a local park, whisks her away when she’s twelve. is it kidnapping ?  technically, who gives a fuck. they lived low. under the radar. in apartments above dive bars. spent a summer breaking into parked cars. finally landed with j.j., who turned out to just be a glorified drug mule.

“ new york was fine to me. y’know, fucked off in school. kid shit. ”  she shrugs. you won’t know it, but she’ll astutely sidestep the fact that she hacked her first global system at 14. she won’t mention she started accepting paypal offers from obscure reddit threads two weeks later. by 17, she was contracting independently –– a business venture, she’d tell her high school counselor, assigned to keep her from winding up on the streets. 

matty, her best friend since the move to new york, decided to kiss her silly after trying shrooms. she liked it. told him maybe he could do that more often.

“ he cleaned up, ”  braids purses her lips. “ after high school. stopped messing with his crowd. our crowd. ”  she grabs two stirrers from a container dangerously close to your hand. taps ‘em on the counter like she’s stomping out mini fires. “ let him put a ring on me. y’know make bey proud. ”

she won’t mention that while matty gets a job as a cook at a bougie french restaurant, she continued to deal with devils. woman in her high castle. under the guise of cpu-based tetris and a whole lot of freelance web design.

but then roosevelt savings bank gets robbed. and they somehow trace the ip back to her.

it’s an easy mishap to shake. showed ‘em the websites. the code. the computer usage logs. the blues believe her, but matty...

“ trust issues. sad, huh ?  thought i was fucking around behind his back. ”  with criminals.

“ and then shit gets good, homie. we’re tasting stupid fucking cake. red velvet... ”  cue a laugh. bitter. the stirrers stop tapping. “ then i meet aamina and everything goes to shit. i brought it up, you know. like. hey, your fiancée might be a little bit into pussy. ”

for the first time all night, her eyes meet yours. and it’s only then you realize... there’s some heavy fuckin’ sadness swimming in those baby browns. worlds pass through them. alternative stories –– where matty wasn’t high. where he didn’t reach for the knife.

“ he lost it. ”  silence. she looks away. “ anyway. ”  she launches into why chicago –– why she studied pre-law for two years before tossing in the towel. because “ fuck a judge, man. ” and she’s into the finer things in life.  ( she struck you as an arts type. what with the glasses. the vintage band tee worn like a dress. maybe you get a glimmer of pride knowing you were right. she won’t mention that the whole thing’s a farce. )

she launches into why a coffee shop. she’ll tell you the beautiful thing about coffee is it takes no shit. she’ll tell you owning a place gets fuckin’ wild, but she’s in it for the free java and coffee-themed booze. a perk all hourly baristas like her enjoy.  “ and we made that top list or whatever. of fly places here.  an honor. i’d like to thank god, and also jesus. which i hope you know are my boys bazzi and frank ocean. ”  

you’ll google hero coffee roasters later. and find its registered owner goes by brian tubolino. but hey, maybe she’s married.

when braids finally decides it’s time to go, sunlight’s nipping at chicago’s heels.

“ you chill if i ... ? ”  before you can answer, she’s takin’ a swig straight from the half-finished bottle of bourbon. picks it up and cradles it under one arm, precious cargo. 

“ souvenir, man. in remembrance of you. ” 

[pikemoreno]

hi love you should ship me;) im about 5'2, I have thick, dark brown(it's almost black), kind of wavy hair. i cannot see without glasses, it's super bad. im sassy, pretty stubborn, and sometimes i can get very petty(no tea no shade). im filipino! i can also be really shy. im a gymnast, and gymnastics is my biggest passion. I really like puns and cheesy jokes. im 100% a bookworm. coffee is the way tony heart. also, i love memes. give me all the memes!! and you know what i look like!

You know darn well I ship you with Peter freakin Parker and I feel like you’re doing this knowing full well that I’m gonna say it and just wanna hear me say it again. I see you. So yeah, I ship you very hard with Peter (esp after that pic of you and Spidey). And I’m honestly jealous? Like I want him all to myself but here’s this perfect girlfriend material for him just waltzing into my inbox. Your personalities would just go together so well. Like I know from experience that you’re such a kind person, but that stubbornness and fighting spirit is something that he would love and the combination of all that plus the fact being a gymnast you can almost keep up with him and that you love puns and cheesy jokes and memes (me too homie, me too) it just matches him so well? wow. stop. get out of here, you perfect being.

i don’t ship people with real people but i would have to say i would lowkey ship you with tom holland himself. for a lot of the same reasons because where does tom stop and peter end, really?

[majorxbennyxboy]

TURN S4 according to someone who Has Not Seen It

(pieced together by random bits and pieces of things that have slipped the filters)

Arnold sends Ben this creepy letter like ",,,,,hey,,,,u wanna,,,,,,,,,betray everyone you love and come join me in bastardly traitor fun times,,,,I know you want to because when you tried to shoot me you missed, and that's always a sign of Fondness."

Which Ben is Not For so he's like :/

Richard decides he's going to Love His Son and also switch sides, which is Great !! because now the whole fam are Rebels together and Abe's got this Puzzlement Sandwich going on but he's also happy to finally have a dad. He's skeptical, but he Ready.

Caleb shows up and Abe just. Screams it to the heavens, "MY BUDDY MY PAL MY HOMIE CALEB BREWSTER GET A LOAD OF THAT ARNOLD BASTARD HUH WE SURE DID A GOOD JOB WITH OUR SPY RING DIDN'T WE WOW HAHA WE'RE GOOD"

Abe takes him home and gives him some tea. The cup is as big as Caleb's head and he is Very Cute holding the saucer in his two hands. Declines sugar. He's sweet enough without it. Accepts some whiskey.

He's like "hey you wanna pack up now let's go?"

But Abe Nopes that like "nah see I'm gonna be the Spyingest Spy. Me and the fam are Staying and we are gonna Wreck some Redcoat shite and it's gonna be awesome."

Richard chimes in, "do you and those soldier boys want to burn some stuff bc I can hook you up with a SICK bonfire if youre game"

Caleb is Game.

Washington's like "tallmadge why the *BEEP* didn't you tell me about this letter boi" and it's very Stressful but he's also kind of softly like "tallmadge occasionally does a good job wow"

GWash and Martha get. snuggly.

Ben and Caleb pop off to go destroy people and burn some hay and Ben's like "TAKE THE BULLETS OUT YO GUN GUYS WE GOTTA STEALTH THIS SH"

This redcoat guy alerts the entire fort but Caleb takes him the hell out and the boys blaze in and within about five and a half seconds they take over and set to burning hay. Caleb snatches some stuff like "man yeah I am making some cash today this is worth a fortune on ebay"

Ben is in Richard's house at some point in a heckin' coat.

Caleb goes to pawn his contraband but gets snatched by a weasle.

Arnold's like "you only say you don't like betraying your friends because you've never tried it. come on dude it's fun it's fun I swear you should do it"

And Caleb's like "um dude no hell in way. I'm not about that."

So Arnold conjures Simcoe from hell and that's that.

Simcoe goes "do you know why I like serrated blades?"

"bc u nasty fool"

Simcoe proceeds to behave very badly and tells an extended version of a story that was cut from S1E2 about how his father died when he was like ten and how his RageClown Tendencies are perfectly legit. Also he's just like "Ah yes do you remember S1E2? Those events make all of this okay. It isn't about revenge tho even though it lowkey totally is."

Cookie comes down like "YO MAN WTH ARE YOU DOING U BETTER STOP"

Meanwhile I think Peggy is going "marriage sucks." and Arnold is being a complete ass to her but she doesn't let it diminish her vibes that woman is a queen. And possibly pregnant I think.

She and Philomena run into each other and there's some sassing but Peggy's like "haha ? I will :) destroy you :D"

Boys work out a plan to get Caleb back and it entails swapping Abe and Richard over to the Redcoats and getting something like five-hundred pounds as well.  They got these two all tied up and some guys  come up like "Uh?"

Ben's a spymaster and has it Under Control and tries the ol' Smile 'n Wave routine. It does not work.

They get to the Prisoner Exchange and Ben's like "UM? Excuse you what did you do to my guy over there what'd you do to Caleb"

Simcoe plays pool while predicting the current events

and Richard gets frickin' sniped he's wasted it's over that's done the people SCATTER and everybody runs into a barn.

Mulligan slides into Rivington's inn like "yo Quaker boy. if you happen to be a spy, or something...u should def check out some new threads. *wink* we should talk"

Rob's having none of that. "you're creepy. get away from me."

And then Arnold comes in to straight up slaughter Mulligan and fling him everywhere. He's also like "WHAT IS UP MY PEEPS WHO DON'T EVEN WANT ME. NOT ONLY AM I A DIRTY NO-GOOD WHO BETRAYED MY FORMER PEEPS, I AM NOW PERSONALLY HUNTING DOWN THEIR LITTLE SPIES. TELL THE WORLD. *Flings glitter and drama as well as some shade*"

v uncomfortable cart ride back to camp and a Turtledove Cameo later Abe's like "ben i'm going back to sadtauket and burying my father, possibly myself, also contemplating revenge but not in a culper way."

Ben's like "...uh." and has no less than fifty tabs open but Anna Handles It.

Anna helps this little girl with a doll and everyone in camp ships Benanna. Ben starts thinking about what they can possibly do about this but Anna tells him not to do anything because it's a really good cover and also another box on the People Anna's Dated Bingo Cart the writers have been forcing her to carry around.

Abe buries his father while Thomas mills about chanting "dead dead dead dead dead" in the background and ten tells Mary he's going to kill Simcoe. She tells him not to miss, while bitterly regretting only taking off dude's ear.

????????????????

Selah turns up in Camp and, after miraculously not murdering Ben for the whole "allegedly dating my wife" thing, he's  like "wife. hello. so I've been Facing Reality and steadily accepting the fact that you probably don't love me and most likely never have but, we should still probably Discuss and see if we can work something out."

"Kay"

He goes to Ben like "she works for you' "uh" "she worked for you in Setauket" "uh" "does she still work for you" "uh" "boy" "I mean if you can convince her to go with you and manage to survive the discussion then by all means" "...kay."

Hewlett's Head of Intelligence and v Jaded but also working through his stuff. He's maybe looking at stars and at one point is like "hello soft quaker boy yes I am in love with stars. and myself. and that is Good. I have reached Zen but am also a somewhat Tortured Soul at this stage of the game"

"okay. you're weird. but okay. you do you lizard man. you do you."

A plan is hatched for Abe, who is Culper once again, to beat Arnold at his own game by pretending to turncoat, but not really turning. For some reason Ben's good with this??? idk but he's like "see youohmygod don't get killed please"

Caleb pops off to fetch Mary and is very cute with Thomas. And with Mary. They're all precious. Ben and Anna ride to meet them. They are riding double. With Anna as the big spoon. Hmmmm yesssss

sorry *coughs*

Ben meets Sprout and it's real hella cute for about five seconds.

Back in Camp Ben tells Mary "I gotchu, you're with Abe, you're family, I will take care of you. hmu any time"

And then he gets real serious into talking tactics or smthn to Caleb and Mary shows up in his tent like "hey can you"

and he loses it

"NOBODY SAW YOU DID THEY MARY I CAN't HAVE CAMP THINKING I'M DATING EVERYONE WHAT THE HELL MARY THERE IS PROTOCOL"

Caleb chills, uncomfortably, in the background.

Mary gives it back to Ben. "YOU HAVE TO TELL ME THINGS ABRAHAM IS MY HUSBAND"

"WHY DO YOU EVEN KNOW ABOUT THE SPY RING"

"HOW DO YOU THINK HE'S STILL ALIVE DUMBASS"

"OH MY GOD IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT"

this continues for a few heart-lurching moments before Mary leaves. Nobody is happy. Not a single individual feels any joy, at all, in their life.

That Randall sicko is still alive and he's like "hey Anna."

she be Knowin "you're that guy Ben tried to take out last season"

"Yeah but that ruling went in my favor"

(WE'RE LEFT HANGING. OKAY, SO THEY DECIDED BEN WAS IN THE WRONG. SO? WHAT HAPPENED? DID THEY MAKE HIM APOLOGIZE? DOCK HIS PAY? DETAILS PEOPLE. HOW DID HE NOT GET DEMOTED???)

and Randall proceeds to tell Anna there's some kind of mutiny being planned.

At some point there is an actual mutiny but the people involved are stopped and arrested and brutally executed and it's a harrowing experience for everybody.

Abe Enlists with the Redcoats and gets this new bunkmate, Joe, who seems interesting. He also visits Townsend who's like "what the hell what the hell what the H E L L  PAY ATTENTION TO ME WHAT IS HAPPENING"

Townsend takes it upon himself to Snoop and keeps following Abe around and shows up at this party and Abe's just like "can you please not be weird Robert I'm undercover"

Cicero completely Outs Abe to Peggy and she's like "...ight."

Simcoe gets nasty and, as with everything involving Simcoe, there are sharp things involved.

Some fool tries to take out Hewlett and Hewlett's like "man I'm so done with everyone's bs this isn't happening today"

He and Abe somehow meet up and instead of killing each other they wind up plotting against Simcoe, something they both believe in.

Those Rebel Boys hatch a plan to expand the spy ring once again with this Champe fellow. He and Caleb pretend to fight, (DAMMIT CHAMPE BE GENTLE WITH HIM) and Ben pretends to be really mad about this and hauls them both to his tent for a Pretend Stern Talking-To in which they discuss Plans and Ben pretends to banish them both forever.

So Champe hops off to go meet Abe.

He's a pretty creepy-like dude and seems to basically be Rebel Simcoe.

Another plan is hatched, this time to get Arnold, but things go awry. Caleb's Struggling and Ben's Upset and once again nobody is at all happy, and it's horrible. absolutely horrible.

More sh goes wrong bc the British are like "right so you're all trained up, time for you go kill some rebel soldier bois" which Abe is less than enthused about.

So Ben's Thinking about this. "who the hell is going to fetch abe. Can't ask Caleb to do it. Anna can't go. Hm guess I'll have to" Anna is quick to point out "lmao ben do you want to be labeled a traitor bc that's what's going to happen you should just ask Caleb." Ben considers this. "...nah it's cool I'll just Resign and go Handle it."

Also Mary has discovered some form of traitor ladies and I think tries to barter the information but Ben's just like "ASHFAKJFHAK PLEES"

Ben hits Hamilton up and asks him to be the new Spyboss ("good luck my guy it's like herding ducks.") and Hamilton isn't so sure about this but Ben's Convinced it is Necessary, makes all the arrangements.

Caleb tho he pops in like "actually I'll take this one" in the biggest frickin miracle of a thousand years

the two have a Moment. a blessed Moment of Purity.

And then Ben flounces over to GWash to resign anyway and they both throw a MASSIVE HISSY FIT AT EACH OTHER AND IT'S HONESTLY EVEN MORE BRUTAL THAN THE "not my son" CONVO IT'S SO TERRIBLE and Washington decides, "well you can't resign. You are Fired."

because he is Ben Tallmadge there seem to be no concrete consequences for talking to the General the way Ben does in this particular scene, even though GWash could quite possibly have him fed to an angry sheep.

Caleb has a very Emotionally Moving convo with Mary and it comes back to help him out later.

Abe and Simcoe make eye contact and Simcoe's like "MURDER TIME YAY" and chases him. Abe tries to shoot him, misses. Chase resumes until Abe is cornered. AND CALEB JUST TAKES SIMCOE THE FRICK OUT HE JUST. NAILS HIM, KABOOM. +1000 FOR THE BLESSED BEARDY WHALER FLOWER MAN.

For good measure, Abe then flings Simcoe off a thing and the man slithers away in the time it takes Abe to get down there. Abe pulls a pistol on him in front of several other guys, none of whom notice, but then leaves without actually shooting the scarecrow.

Caleb shows up to talk to some Soldier Bois like "have you seen my spy" and they have but it's Champe. But !! they tell him some Stuff about where to find Abe and he's like "well that's good" and jogs on his merry way to find that Boy.

also Hewlett doesn't play he's all about "you killed my horse, and we're about to have a discussion."

Yorktown, meanwhile, Looms, and the Biggest Question is whether they'll be able to wrap this up without E10 being movie-length.