#no one gets to make fun of me for having random photos of the midwest countryside because they are actually useful

[apuff]

hey. yesterday seems as though it never existed. do do do dududududud do

[btsslowburnfic]

BTS Reacts: Visiting the Pumpkin Patch/Apple Orchard-Hyung Line

It’s Fall AF where I live. I don’t know if these are a thing in the rest of the world, but here in Midwest USA I’ve already been to two apple orchards and a pumpkin patch. Happy Fluffy Friday ^_^

-Jin- You were so excited. Chuseok had just ended and Jin still had 2 days off. You decided it was time to usher in the new season with a trip to the Apple Orchard. “Why don’t we just go to the grocery store and buy apples?” your boyfriend jokingly complained as the two of you drove out into the country. “It’s not the same! It’s about the experience.” you adjust your sunglasses as the car winds down a curvy road. “The experience of picking apples? Isn’t this just them getting free labor?” You roll your eyes. “Whatever. This place also has a concession stand, animals, and a giant slide and zipline.” Suddenly you have his interest. “Oh? Really?” “Yep. So much more than just picking apples.” you say as the car turns down the first dirt road to the orchard. It’s a weekday so it isn't too busy. You mask up and pay the nominal admission fee. “Oh my God, Jin LOOK THEY HAVE ALPACAS” you squeal as you rush over to the petting zoo area. Jin jogs over behind you, “Just like RJ. These must be his brothers, AJ and MJ.” You laugh as you dig through your bag for a coin. “And look,” you gesture to the machine with food in it, “We can feed them!!!!!” You twist your coin in and little pellets fall out the bottom. You walk over to the fence and place your palm flat for the animals to come over and eat. “So cool. I’ve never seen a real alpaca up close.” you marvel at their size as they head over. Jin snaps a picture of you feeding them and then has you take a picture of him with them to post on Weverse later. “I can’t believe there’s not an RJ in the car,” Jin laments his missed photo opportunity while posing with AJ and MJ.   “Perfect. Triplets.” you joke and hand him his phone back. “Alright, let’s wash our hands and pick some apples!” Jin groans, “They have bags of apples in the gift shop that someone else already picked.” “Oh my God are you still whining about apple picking?” you playfully shove him. “Fine. Let’s wash our hands and then do the zipline and then pick apples.” you amend your statement. He kisses your forehead. “Much better.”   The two of you scrub the alpaca saliva off and head up the hay stairs to the zipline. “Look how big the orchard is!” you exclaim from the top of the hay bales. Jin slowly walks up behind you. “Yeah and think. People already probably picked all the apples up front, we’d have to walk all the way over there,” he gestures unnecessarily with his long arms towards the back of the orchard, “just to find them.” “We CAME here to PICK APPLES,” you grit your teeth and try to look annoyed since at this point you knew he was just teasing you. He gets strapped into the zipline. “I’m just saying, it seems like a lot of work.” You roll your eyes at him, “Hey Jin, baby?” “What?”  he turns back from getting ready to slide down the cable and smiles at you. “I just think you look cute.” you answer and lean over to kiss him. And then shove him down the zipline. “Byyeeeeeeee!” you yell and wave as you hear him shrieking. The attendant looks at you quizzically. “He’s fine. He’s fine.” you assure them as they get you strapped in. You  jump off the platform and through the air. When you arrive at the other side you see Jin pouting which makes you start to laugh. You turn in your zipline gear and walk over to him. “What’s the matter, pretty pouty man?” you put your arms around him. “You shoved me down a zipline.” he whines. “Ahahaha I did.” You lean back to look at him, amused that he’s trying really hard to keep pouting. “It was so mean.” “It was. I am terrible. Can you ever forgive me?” you place your hands on his chest and look up at him. “Only if you don’t make me pick apples.” he says with a straight face. You scowl at him and pull away. You hear his trademark laugh following you down the hill.

-RM/Namjoon- “Pumpkin patch. Pumpkin patch. Pumpkin patch!” you start chanting as you walk over to your husband on the couch. “Is that what today is?” he pulls you down next to him and you snuggle into his side. “Joonie,” you whine, “you said if the weather was nice we would go.” “I’m just teasing baby, here,” he shows you on his phone where he’s been researching the ratings of the pumpkin patches in town. You loved how much research he always put into everything. “I’m so excited. I haven’t been to one in years.” you smile. “Did you pick one?” “Yep, and I charged the fancy camera so we can get some nice pictures today as well.” “You are the best!” you lean over and kiss him on the cheek. “Let me grab some boots out of the closet and then I’ll be ready to go.” You are surprised that one of the highest rated ones is only a few minutes outside the city. You drive the short distance and arrive at a beautiful farm sprinkled in red, yellow, and orange leaves. “Oh my God, this is beautiful.” you say as you exit the driver’s side. Namjoon already has the camera out and shoots some photos of the barn and trees. “I’m so glad you brought the camera,” you say as you nervously watch him handle the thousands-of-dollars camera. “But make sure you use the wrist or neck strap.” “Are you saying you don’t trust me to hold an expensive item without breaking it?” he pretends to act shocked. You smile and walk over. “I would never say that,” you place the strap around his wrist and laugh as you look up at him. “Never.” He laughs. “I totally would have. Or left it sitting somewhere. Thanks for talking me into taking today off.”  He takes you by the hand as the two of you head down to the farmhouse. e There is a small general store full of breads, james, hay bales, and scarecrows. Much fall. So knickknack. You walk over to the counter where a farmer is sorting produce, “Excuse me sir, which way to the pumpkin patch?” “Head out the back of the barn. You can either ride the wagon back there or walk.” The two of you exit the barn and find yourself in the middle of a group of about fifty small children and their chaperones. “Oh.” Namjoon says, his eyes involuntarily going wide. “It must be a school trip. That’s ok. We can walk back there, I think they’re waiting for the wagon.” The two of you ease your way through the tiny mob and start walking down the gravel. “Alright. We have to beat that wagon before the field has 50 fewer pumpkins,” you say as you pump your arms and channel your inner speed walker. “And get some pictures without random children in them,” he adds. By the time the two of you walk the Kilometer to the patch you two are slightly out of breath. “Alright. Let’s find the perfect pumpkin.” you say as you survey the patch. The two of you wander the fields scouting out the perfect size and color pumpkin. Namjoon takes some photos of the field and you. “Ok, time to trade,” you say, gesturing to the camera. “I don’t know.” he suddenly acts shy. “Oh come on, you have to. You’re wearing your plaid shirt, it’s like you purposefully dressed to be a pumpkin patch model.” you grin as you take the camera from him. You snap some photos of him and the rural landscape.  You hear the throttle of the tractor and a bunch of kid voices getting closer so the two of you each grab a pumpkin and start walking back to the farmhouse. The wagon of children all wave excitedly and point at the two of you and your pumpkins. Namjoon laughs and waves back with his free hand. “Did you have a good time?” he asks as the two of you enter the general store. “I did. I felt a little rushed because of the kids but that’s ok. It looks like they’re having fun.” You smile. “You’ll be such a great parent someday,” he smiles as he leans over to kiss you.

-Suga/Yoongi- “More coffee.” Yoongi’s gravely morning voice requests after you remind him it’s apple orchard day. He had gotten out of bed and was now doing a great impression of a rock as he sat at the kitchen table with his face in his hands. “Honey, they have cider at the orchard.” “Cider doesn’t have caffeine,” he responds. “Coffee.” You run your fingers through his hair and smile  “Fine, fine.” you walk over to the Nespresso and make a cup of coffee for him. You take the mug over and slide onto his lap. “I’d be careful if you want to make it to the apple orchard.” he growls into your ear and squeezes your waist. “Yoongi,” you giggle and stand up. “There’s time for that after the apple orchard.” you wink and walk over to your purse. “We need to leave here in 45 minutes.” “Why? Are we on a schedule?” “A little bit. We’re meeting up with Tae and Jimin.” “Oh yeah? Cool.” he monotonously responds as he continues to wake up more and more with each sip. -- It’s a beautiful fall day with a light breeze blowing and the sun shining. It’s perfect for what you have planned. The ride up was nice but quiet. You were super nervous about how the afternoon was going to go. "Are Tae and Jimin here yet?" Yoongi asks as he pulls into the parking lot. You check your messages. "Yep. They're already out in the orchard and say we should head out to meet them." you exit the car and wait for yoongi. The two of you hold hands as you look for the best way to get into the orchard. You weave in and out of the apple trees looking for your friends. “It’s so beautiful today.” he says quietly. “It really is. Do you remember the last time we came here?” He smiles, “Oh yep. I remember. Speaking of, do you have your epi-pen with you?” “Of course,” you pat your purse. Eventually you find where Tae and Jimin had set up. “What’s all this?” Yoongi gestured to the blanket and basket sitting in the clearing. “Tae and Jimin set this up, they went to the car and said to have a seat and wait for them.” “Are you sure this is their stuff?” he mumbles. “Yep. They sent me a picture,” you flash it to him. “Let’s go find them.” he starts to pull you the other direction. “No. We should really stay and wait for them. I don’t want to get lost.” you say as you head over to the large hounds tooth blanket and have a seat. “Since when are you worried about being lost? We wandered the streets of Dublin for hours.” “I just want to make sure we don’t miss our friends. Come sit with me,” you pat the  spot on the blanket carefully. Yoongi looks toward the entrance one more time and then gives in, coming over to sit next to you. You check your phone one more time. Satisfied, you slip it into your purse. You stiffen as a bee flies over to the blanket. “Aish, I got it.” He pulls his sleeve over his hand and swats it away. “If I see another one, we’re getting up and moving. Actually, an apple orchard was a terrible idea to come to with your allergy.” “I know, I know. I thought about that too but I wanted to come here today. I remember the last time we were here.” “Yeah, I thought you were going to die.” Yoongi says, trying to sound casual, but you can detect the slight shake in his voice. You shrug and take him by the hand, “But I didn’t. And that’s the day I knew that you were the one for me.” You lean over and kiss him gently on the lips. “You stayed calm and helped me inject myself and then took me to the hospital and stayed even though I kept begging you to just leave while delirious and crying.” He smiles shyly, “Yeah, it was what, like our second or third date? I called Namjoon to cancel going to practice and he yelled at me for even being out on a date and then I hung up on him.” “What? You never told me that before,” you exclaim. You had no idea you’d caused any drama. “I didn’t want to worry you.” he replies, gently pushing your hair behind your ear. “Well, that’s why I wanted to come back here today,” you begin as you grab a small box out of your purse. “I knew on that day that you would do anything to protect me and just how much you care about me even though it was so early in our relationship. I don’t deserve you, but if you’ll have me, I’d like to make forever official with you,” you open the box and present him with a small black band. “Are you proposing to me?” he asks quietly. “I’m trying to. Am I doing a bad job?” you ask nervously, suddenly worried he’s going to say ‘no.’ He smiles and takes the band out and looks at it.  “No. I’m just surprised. And happy.” he puts it on. “So….is that a yes?” you ask nervously. He looks up at you with wet eyes. “Of course.” he leans over and the two of you kiss, it slowly turns into a make-out session until you hear someone clear their throat. You pull away smiling and look over at Taehyung and Jimin. “They’re actually here?” he says surprised. “Congratulations!” Jimin yells and attacks Yoongi with a hug. “Did you get any pictures?” you ask Tae. “Oh yeah. Lots of them,” he smiles at you. “You did a great job planning this.” “You were all in on this!?” Yoongi exclaims, throwing Jimin off of him. “Yep! I wanted Taehyung to take pictures and Jimin wanted to join as well.” “Aish, I’m lucky to have such great friends,” he leans over and quietly in your ear, “and such a wonderful fiance.”

-JHope/Hoseok- Your boyfriend is sitting on the couch dragging his feet about going out today, "It's not a haunted corn maze, right?" Hoseok asks you for the 50th time with a disgusted look on his face. You let out a sigh and put your hands on his shoulders. "No babe it's just a normal corn maze where we wander around and try to get to the other side." "... I don't know." "I think you are emotionally scarred from Run BTS," you say as you press a kiss to the top of his head and move to sit next to him.  "We don't have to do the corn maze if you don't want to.”  You take his hand in yours. “Let's just go and pet the pumpkins. If we decide to do something else while we're there that's fine too." "OK sounds good. I saved some cool carvings on my phone," he pulls it out to show you a few intricate designs he's saved. "ooo very cool. We'll need at least 2 big pumpkins and a few medium. Are you ready?" you ask as you put your bag over your shoulder. He grabs a cap and follows you out the door. ------ The pumpkin patch is just outside the city and is famous for its corn maze. This year it is in the shape of an underwater scene with fish, whales, and dolphins. You point out the picture at the entrance to Hobi emphasizing the “family friendly” parts of the poster. “I’m not saying we have to. I’m just showing you what it looks like.” you emphasize as the two of you walk over to the barn area. There are chickens and horses lazily wandering around the yard. “Have you ever been to a farm before?” he asks you as you take photos of the animals. “No. Is it obvious?” you laugh. “I’ve seen horses before but not just like wandering around with chickens and stuff.” “You’re cold,” he states rather than asks. “Here,” he takes off his sweatshirt and hands it to you. “Now you’ll be cold.” you say as you put on the still-warm sweatshirt. You not-so-secretly loved taking your boyfriend’s hoodies. “I’m fine. Besides, if we walk through that giant maze I’m sure we’ll work up a sweat. And the sun is coming out.” he smiles at you. He just radiates happiness, it’s one of the things you love about him. “You’ll try the corn maze? Really?” you turn and face him, wrapping your now-warm body around him. “Yes, I’ll try it.” he kisses you on the tip of your nose. “I read and it says they have emergency exits if we need to leave.” You laugh, “Well hopefully we won’t have to use them, but it’s nice to have the option.” The two of you wander over to the sign marked “Entrance” and take a few pictures for posterity and then begin wandering around. You hit several dead ends and Hoseok flinches a few times turing around corners. “Babe are you still worried there are zombies in here?” you ask, trying not to laugh because you know even though it’s silly, he’s scared. “..No. Just making sure we don’t run into people. Alive or otherwise.” You laugh. “Hey, here’s one of the emergency exits, “you gesture to a sign above the dead end the two of you have just walked into. “No. Not yet. We’re not giving up.” his voice sounds determined. “We’re going to conquer this corn maze. Or at least try for another 30 minutes, I’m getting hungry.” he grins as you two double back. You set a timer on your phone but when it goes off the two of you have a feeling you are getting close to the exit because you have moved pretty far along the treeline. You had the wherewithal to take a photo of the maze back at the Pumpkin Patch entrance so you know the exit is on the North side of the maze. “I think this is it!” he yells excitedly, pulling you by the hand and breaking out into a run.  You turn one last corner and the two of you emerge victorious. He takes your hands and raises them above your head in true champion fashion.  You take a picture of your sweaty happy smiles in front of the exit sign. “I knew we could do it!” you exclaim and lean over to kiss him.  “Hey Hobi,” you say, catching your breath still. “Yeah?” “Let’s just eat food and get pumpkins from the farm store. I don’t want to hike to the back of the farm to the pumpkin patch.” “Oh thank God,” he says, “I thought I was going to have to beg you not to.”  he laughs. “Seriously. I want one of everything from the concession stand.” you say as the two of you walk back towards the farmhouse. “Ahaha me too. I love you.” “I love you too.”

[getalittleclosey]

under 50k larry fic rec

hi! i’m becca and i read...so much fic. these rec lists are an accumulation of fic that i’ve read or reread and extra loved from 2016-now. there’s a wide range of stuff here and i think there’s definitely something for everyone!! i divided them up by length so you can check out all those categories below!

please make sure to read tags and warnings on all these fics!! the only things i think i can guarantee is that these are all larry, there’s no non-con, no age play, no eating disorders, no mentions of bg, they end happy, and they’re mostly aus. oh and they’re all on ao3 and some are locked so you’ll need an account! anyway i hope y’all enjoy!!!

under 5k

under 10k

under 25k

under 100k

100k+

☆ the beginning of everything by thedeathchamber 31k

“How do you take it?” Harry asked, pouring tea into a cup.

“Just a dash of milk, please,” Louis cast a look over the small table, filled to capacity. “They’re very fond of you.”

Harry ducked his head, grinning. “They’re trying to impress you.”

Louis smiled, shaking his head. “Why would they want to do that?” he asked as he took the cup Harry passed to him, their fingers brushing for an instant.

“Empathy,” Harry said under his breath.

--

A Belle Époque AU set (mostly) in Paris in which Harry is a struggling artist, in more ways than one, and Louis is a successful theatre critic and a failed writer, more or less.

☆ to kill the mess we’ve made by misandrogyny 43k

And when he's finally standing, Liam fussing over him, rubbing his hand at the red mark blooming on Harry's forehead, does Harry learn two things:

One, he wasn't actually hit that hard, and Tommo--or Louis, rather--is just as pretty when Harry is staring at him head-on and,

Two, Louis is the Adidas model he's going to be working with on today's photo shoot.

(or: AU where Harry and Louis are both models, and they decide being friends-with-benefits is a great idea. It isn't.)

☆ heart open, bloodstain on my sleeve by silkbombs (mulberrygrey) 36k

“I couldn’t help myself,” Harry admits, one hand coming to rub the back of his neck, “I stared at you for a good while before I finally got the guts to come up to you. You looked so pretty sitting there, with your little ankles and your pencil in your mouth, so enthralling… art in front of art.”

Louis’ not sure what to say, so he just kind of sits there, eyes bugging out as he stares at Harry.

“I mean, like you’re not an object!” Harry rushes out, babbling.

“I just, there’s something about you that’s so captivating, and maybe it’s the way your eyes are like a watercolor painting of the sea, or how delicate your hands look when you draw, but I just wanted to get to know you. It’s not like I pick up random boys at art museums usually, I swear. Not that I’m trying to pick you up! Unless you want to be…God, fuck I’m sorry this is so awkward now. I can go, um, if you want."

--- Or, the one where Harry's the long limbed, gangly, sweetheart who just happens be a high profile art thief who conducts heists for a living and Louis' the loud, pushy art student who just happens to steal his heart.

☆ a king beside you by stylinsoncity 26k

When the aliens invade, the last thing Louis expects is to fall in love.

☆ the boys of summer by afirethatcannotdie 45k

“I mean…we’re gonna have to sneak around anyway, yeah? Like, with that whole rules thing that I guess we’ve decided to ignore. Might make it a little more fun this way.”

AU. In which Louis is a reluctant sports coach, Harry's a fellow counselor who wears tiny yellow shorts, and camp rules say they're forbidden to date.

☆ don’t let the tide come and take me by kiwikero 29k

The aquarium in the lobby has been there as long as Louis can remember, and so has the merman inside. That is, until the day Louis loses his job and decides to set the creature free.

They set off on a road trip to the sea, learning to communicate more and more each day. Their destination is LA, but the closer they get and the more Louis gets to know the merman, the more he dreads having to say goodbye.

Or, the one where Louis decides to set a merman free and ends up finding his own freedom along the way.

☆ introduction to dynamics by juliusschmidt 29k

Louis Tomlinson is the outspoken omega in the 'Introduction to Dynamics' course Harry wishes he didn't have to take. He's nearly certain to present as a beta, after all. Things will be simple for him.

☆ saved tonight by objectlesson 31k

Harry is the world's most persistent seduction-baker, a questionable dog-sitter, and Louis's biggest fan. Louis hasn't written in years, is trying to pass loneliness off as cynicism, and absolutely hates his fans. It's probably destiny.

☆ once upon a dream by objectlesson 27k

“M’not gonna half-ass our fake relationship,” Louis almost snaps, voice sharp with a defensive edge, like Harry wandered too close to a bruise with needy fingers. “Now kiss me again. We’re gonna make every shitty tourist here wish they had stayed in the Midwest. We’re gonna burn Disneyland down with our gay. ”

Harry shuts his eyes and opens his mouth, because he can’t fucking say no to Louis.

--

Or, a fake dating AU where everyone is lying and they happen to be at the Happiest Place on Earth.

☆ rivers ‘til i reach you by embodied 29k

Louis can’t begin to understand how he’s always this close and still can’t manage to make Harry his. He stands up and gets another beer. AU. Louis studies astronomy; Harry studies Louis. They spend their summers on the water and it shouldn't be complicated (spoiler: it is).

☆ life was a song, you came along by rainbowninja167 38k

It's embarrassing how long it takes Louis to recognize his own song. Niall had sung it as a bright, hopeful love song, and that’s honestly how Louis had always assumed it should sound. But this new voice, slow and rough, stripped of any backing instrument, has infused the lyrics with just the tumultuous mix of fear and defiance that Louis can remember so clearly from the night he wrote them. It’s not a comfortable thing, to feel like someone is singing all your secrets back to you.

Louis is a songwriter trapped in a lie that could ruin his best friend's career. Harry owns a record store, distrusts everyone in the music industry on principle, but loves Niall Horan's newest album. A modern retelling of Singin' in the Rain.

☆ learning to eat by photo41 29k

Celebrity chef Louis Tomlinson has a problem. He’s opening his first restaurant in 9 weeks, and he has yet to hire a pastry chef- apparently people think he’s ‘standoffish’ and ‘rude’ and ‘quick to temper’. Whatever. He ends up saddled with an annoying, happy-go lucky rookie who also happens to be obnoxiously good looking. His tv presenter and pop star best friends only add to the drama, and for fucks sake would everyone please stop quoting Julia Child?!

Kitchen AU where Harry helps Louis re-learn how to eat. (METAPHORICALLY)

note: just to clarify this is NOT an eating disorder fic don’t worry

☆ runner on third by kikikryslee 40k

As Harry stood there, the other man turned around, and he knew he was correct in who he thought it was. “Louis?” he asked, still not quite believing it. Louis blinked. “Harry? Wh– what are you doing here?” “I work here,” Harry said. “What are you doing here?” “Um, I’m picking up my brother. The nurse called and said he was sick.” Harry felt like he was going to be sick. “Wait, Ernest is your brother? Since when do you have a brother?” “Since about seven years ago, I guess. Wait, how do you know Ernest?” “I’m his teacher.” “You’re his what?” Louis exclaimed. Harry gulped. This was going to be a long year. --- Or, the AU where Louis and Harry were best friends growing up, but lost touch after Harry moved away. Ten years later, Harry has moved back to town, but he and Louis don't pick up where they left off.

note: there are four fics in this series that total to 60k

☆ roots by cherrystreet 43k

There aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous. He’s spent the past couple of years on and off various stages, filled with screaming fans, all chanting his name, loud and adoring. He’s done countless interviews, some even on live, national television, never faltering over his words, answers meticulously planned out, smooth and steady. He’s signed countless autographs, taken just as many photos, and even when he sat in his label’s studio, waiting to see how high up on the charts his single made it, he didn’t feel uneasy or uncomfortable. It’s all been unbelievably fun. No, there aren’t many things that make Harry Styles nervous.

Enter Louis Tomlinson.

☆ once upon a dream by thedeathchamber 33k

Louis is psychic and gets caught in the middle of a murder investigation led by FBI Special Agent Harry Styles.

aka. the Medium/Criminal Minds-inspired AU no one ever asked for.

note: there’s a 24k sequel for this!

☆ the melody you never heard by bananasandboots 30k

It's one last adventure. One last chance to be young and carefree. One final weekend before they take up their internships, their corporate positions, before they enter the real world, fresh out of university. Niall's his best mate. Liam's been there for him since they were lost, little freshmen, trying to find their ways through an overwhelming first year. Harry can't disappoint them, even if it means enduring four days with Louis.

Louis, who he does share a history with, a history he's never told anyone about, not even Niall, a history he hasn't brought up in three years because it's stupid and embarrassing and confusing.

Or, the one where Harry gets roped into a four-day camping trip with the boy who kissed him and never called back.

☆ born to make you happy by objectlesson 26k

Harry makes a quiet vow to himself that he will be the very best girlfriend Louis has ever had, even if he never actually gets to be Louis’s girlfriend.

note: i literally had to take a break and reread this cause i love it so much

☆ close to nowhere by angelichl 35k

“I will kill you in your sleep,” Louis threatened as he quickly stepped out of his jeans.

“I don’t think that would work very well baby, seeing as you talk to dead people all the time.”

“I’ll kill you in your sleep and ignore your ghost. And don’t call me that.”

Louis and Harry are psychics who kind of hate each other. They go to Tennessee to investigate a haunting.

☆ adrenaline by reveries_passions 38k 

“Harry Styles,” Nameless Boy who now has a name says. Louis is too busy having an internal crisis to realize the boy has just introduced himself as Harry Styles. Harry Styles, only son of Des Styles, PhD, Dean of Harvard Medical School. Harry Styles, known by everyone and their grandmother. Harry Styles, star rower. Harry Styles, youngest enrolled student in graduate school at Harvard University. Oh my god, Louis thinks, mortified. I just slept with Harry Styles. As he reaches out tentatively to shake the boy’s hand, another thought hits him. Oh my god. Harry Styles is gay.

~

louis tomlinson, college dropout, up and coming dj, and gay activist, is the notorious owner of exclusive underground gay club, adrenaline.

harry styles, med student by day, partier by night, child prodigy and seemingly heterosexual son of harvard professors, is the youngest and arguably the smartest student at harvard medical school.

or: a one night stand wasn't supposed to become the greatest love story of the 21st century.

☆ bloodsport by tofiveohfive 40k

“You know how our next game is against the Cardinals, right? You remember how vicious those guys can get. I wanted us to come up with some plays, maybe work on a block from the left—”

Louis stops when he hears a chuckle.

He doesn’t think he’s said anything particularly funny, so he turns to Harry, waiting for an explanation.

“‘S funny, ‘s all.” Harry throws his finished bottle somewhere near the other discarded ones. “This is the first time you’re talking to me in eight months, and it’s still about football.”

☆ the haunting of louis tomlinson helloamhere 31k

“I'm not afraid of ghosts,” Louis said.

Every single magnet unstuck itself from the fridge and fell to the floor in a clattering cascade.

“I'm only a little afraid of ghosts,” Louis said.

*** OR: Louis is a plucky Gothic Heroine, Harry is a Mournful Spirit, and Big Country Houses are full of mystery and suspense, as Big Country Houses ever are!

☆ can i not like you for a while? by larryshares 43k

louis tomlinson is awful. harry is just as difficult, and they're both terrible to each other. it makes being in the same acapella group together quite complicated.

☆ delight in masques by kassio 28k

Popstar Louis Tomlinson has been pulling one over on the mortals for years. In the five years since he put on a human illusion and tried out for the X Factor, none of them have realised that he’s one of the Fair Folk – a cat shapeshifter, to be precise – and he’d like to keep it that way.

When he returns to the X Factor as a guest judge, the last thing he expects is for some half-Siren fool to use magic on the judges. Unfortunately, that’s exactly what Harry Styles does. Now Louis has to track down some rogue changeling before he exposes them all. Even worse? Apparently, Harry doesn’t even know what he is.

(An urban fantasy adventure, set in the world of - but not crossing over with - the October Daye book series. No need to be familiar with those books; I just want to give credit where it's due on a lot of the worldbuilding.)

☆ no love like your love by rearviewdreamer 43k

When it comes to saving the world from itself and convincing rich CEOs of environmentally harmful companies to go green, there's nobody better than Harry Styles. That is, until Louis Tomlinson, his ex and former Alpha, is involved.  

note: i love vegan harry styles

☆ for neither never nor ever by fairytalelights 29k

Then Harry looked down. A newspaper was on the steps in front of him, looking new, like it had only just gotten delivered but no one had bothered to carry it inside yet. That, in itself, wasn't unusual. The unusual thing was the headline, Chernobyl - Half a Year Later, and the date in the corner. 5th November 1986. He looked up to stare at the girl in the doorway one last time, before he did the only logical thing his body knew how to do in this situation. He bolted.

or, the one where Harry travels through time and has to come to terms with losing everything he's ever known. Louis might be the only thing that feels real.

☆ worth dying for by whoknows 45k

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” Louis says, leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms over his chest. In the center of the table, a set of three glossy photos stares up at him, mocking him.

“A security detail is non-negotiable, Louis, you know this,” his mum reminds him, tapping the middle photo with two fingers.

Louis doesn’t look back down at the pictures, gesturing towards them wildly, over-dramatically. “This is not a security detail!” he protests. “This is a lanky college student. In what world do you hire someone like this kid to protect me?”

☆ listen to your heart by lovelarry10 35k

Are you kidding me right now?

I… No? Louis frowned, feeling angry now. It wasn’t fair, he knew that, but at the same time, he couldn’t help his feelings. It felt like this had been brewing for weeks, and this was it. Give it a rest, Harry.

Why are you such a brat? Why can’t you just be happy for me for once?

You think I want to hear about you kissing James? Really, H? There’s things I just don’t need to know, okay? I’m your best mate, not your fucking relationship advisor…

*****

Louis has always been comfortable being Harry’s one and only. When Harry starts to branch out, Louis has a hard time letting him go.

Harry is very lucky to have someone who listens to what he has to say, despite the fact that he’s deaf. He’s finally feeling like he’s coming into himself, but Louis seems bothered by his newfound confidence.

☆ another day gettin’ into trouble by whoknows 26k

Harry’s drunk when the idea occurs to him. He’s also a pop star, so sometimes his drunk ideas turn into actual things instead of just ideas. The clone-a-willy kit is one of them.

In Harry’s defense, when he first thinks about it his intention is just to buy the kit and give it to Louis to make his own dildo with, because that’s what he wants anyway, right? To have a penis filling him up?

Then he realizes that it would be weird if Louis made a copy of his own dick to fuck himself with. It’d be super weird. Louis fucking himself? That’s a weird idea. Harry’s pretty sure Louis wouldn’t like that.

Clearly the only solution here is to use his own dick for the mold.

☆ all the right moves by cherrystreet 32k

This is the third game in a row that Harry has been distracted by the noisy boy in the stands, five rows back.

There’s really no reason that he should feel compelled to stare into the audience as frequently as he is, but he can’t help it. This boy is a nuisance. And he’s loud. Even from basketball court with nine other players running by him, shoes squeaking on the shiny hardwood floor, and thousands of cheering college students, Harry can hear this boy nearly shrieking, his laugh more like a cackle than anything.

It’s seriously obnoxious.

☆ play the odds by alivingfire 26k

Harry and Louis are best friends since childhood who, after a night of drinking, find themselves locked in a bet: first one to kiss the other a thousand times wins. Wins what? They don't know. Glory, Harry supposes. Bragging rights, though those don't do much in this economy. All Harry knows is that this is one bet he can finally win. What he doesn't expect, though, is what happens when he starts kissing his best friend on a daily basis.

Namely, he doesn't expect falling head over heels in love with his best friend.

Now all he has to do is make sure the bet never ends, so he never has to stop kissing Louis.

[ais-n]

1 | more like apologise for how harmful it was? how the mlm relationships were so clearly hetero? the sex scenes were so straight to me tbh. and i say this as someone who has read the books twice. first time i didn't see what i saw the second time. i think you genuinely wanted to have people of colour representation but it's very racist to me how hsin and emilio were done. constantly called "exotic" which is a thing americans like to use so much when it's not their ethnicity.

Hi! Thanks for the detailed explanation, I appreciate it! At first I had such HIGH HOPES I could reply to all three of your asks in one place but it turns out I talked too much (go figure lol) So I’m going to do then one at a time. I did want to start out replying to one offhand comment in the 3rd ask and then I’ll get into the rest. Below is what I had written before I realized I need to split it into three and then edited out saying I’m answering all at once. For anyone who hasn’t seen all three asks yet, that’s why part of what I’m talking about isn’t represented above - anon, hopefully it makes more sense to you since you know the future right now from what you had written in the past. ....wow, I made that confusing.

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Thank you for the explanation! I appreciate you too! Also you made me laugh out loud at the gay comment, so thank you for that XD You are not making me feel worse; I appreciate the courage you no doubt had to pull together to post this :) I could be wrong but if I imagine myself in your place, I imagine feeling a little scared or intimidated to post and yet feeling it is necessary. I think it’s really cool you were able to post this in such a thoughtful explanation. Thank you!

In order to not overwhelm anyone’s inbox - and to make it easier for you - I put these all together in one ask. [[[EDIT: JUST KIDDING I talk too much - this is answering stuff from each ask at a time, sorry. I put it behind a cut to make it less long on people’s dashboards.]]] 

Still, I imagine with so much I want to talk about at once, I will probably miss things so let me know if I miss something you really wanted to talk about or you wanted follow up on something in particular.

Anyway READ MORE BELOW for a probably stupidly long reply lol Just, knowing me at least….

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Hi welcome to the below deck party! I don’t know why I said it that way. That was creepy sorry lol Anyway I’m breaking this up a little bit but the more I think about it the more I think this probably really can’t address everything properly in one place. So, again, seriously just let me know if you want follow up on anything - or if anyone does, for that matter. I’m not doing this quite in order though.

RACE: 

Yeah actually, I agree that “exotic” is pretty ??? terminology to be using tbh. I don’t imagine I would use that wording if I were writing something today and if we were to edit the series now, I’d remove it. I don’t remember the context, to be honest; whether it was only used in narration or if it was used in dialogue too. Dialogue might stay, if it’s to show a person speaks a certain way and has certain views on life, but I’d personally probably change that in narration unless it had a specific reason for being there. Which my very vague memories combined with your comment make me think probably not?

In regards to Hsin/Emilio plus even terminology like ‘exotic’ or whatever being used - so, upfront, I need you to know this whole post is not an excuse or etc. It’s just an explanation. 

I didn’t write Hsin or Emilio, so I honestly can’t speak for or about them. I would like to be able to give you some insight into “Sonny’s” background and his friends and family he said he was inspired by in writing them, or give you insight into Alicia’s background (as she is a person of color, at least I was always told she is), but I truly don’t even know what was a lie and what was truth anymore. He always told me his characters like Hsin and Emilio were based pretty directly on people he knew - well, Emilio in particular was hugely based on a cousin of his. But that cousin didn’t exist, it turns out, or at least not in the way I knew. We wrote our own characters and were in charge of their own stories, although we also co-wrote the series as a whole and had input on the plot and etc. But I never really dealt directly with Emilio or Hsin in the writing of them other than how my characters interacted with “his” characters.

I can’t speak on behalf of anyone so I honestly can’t say if Emilio and/or Hsin are concerning or not concerning portraitures of any demographic. I really feel that such a determination has to be up to each reader. I say that in part because I’ve heard over the years that people actually appreciated the way they were written, for various reasons, and some of the people saying that were from demographics that the characters represented. But that also doesn’t mean it has to be something across the board; that because one person feels a certain way, everyone else whether in or out of that demographic has to agree. Quite the opposite, really.

I wish I could even say something like “I know Sonny did a lot of research on xyz specific topic because we talked about abc in regards to it” but I can’t. I know we had those conversations but I don’t know if anything I was told is true. What I can say is the series was written basically 15 years ago. Or rather, started around 15 years ago, then written on/off over multiple years. And we started it essentially in the same vein as BL fanfic, just sort of as a fun thing to do on our off time without any initial plan to ever publicly share it. The good thing about humans and culture is we change as we grow, and there are many things we can continue to gain understanding of as we go. 

One of the really good things about the last 15 years is it’s become more and more accessible to learn about the world and its people. When we started ICoS, for example, Google streetview wasn’t a thing. In order to try to be accurate about something like the streets of a particular city, we either had to totally make shit up and say the war changed everything in that town or I had to try to track down a paper map of it and hope nothing had changed significantly since then. 

Slowly over the years, the globalization of information expanded. Over time, all the little details I didn’t know to even question became things I could find easily. Like, do they say W Something St or Something St W? Is it Avenue Blah or Blah Avenue? Do they even use terminology like avenue or streets? Do they commonly have alleyways everywhere or anywhere and if so how big are they? What are the roads made of? What is the lighting like? Are there basements? 

I grew up in Midwest USA on the tail end of tornado alley where a basement is an absolute must. Imagine my absolute confusion when I learned there are houses out there where they DON’T go underground. Like, at all. wtf??? From my, at that time obviously limited, experience, the only people I personally knew who didn’t have some sort of underground space were apartment dwellers or my friend who lived in the mobile home park. It was such a staple understanding in my life to assume everyone had a basement in their home that I had no idea to even question the existence of such a thing when trying to write another location within the US, let alone anywhere else in the world. And at a certain point when we were writing it, I didn’t even know to ask certain questions, or if I did I didn’t have an easy way of finding it.

If you were to read the very, very original version of Evenfall and compare it to what’s most recently released, for example, there are many differences. One example of something you might notice is the streets are totally different in Monterrey. That’s because we had to make up streets the first time around because I could not find any maps for the city. I tried but they just weren’t accessible for whatever reason; not in the detail I needed and where I could find them, or probably afford. We had to just be like “Welp, guess the war changed it all, sry!” to explain the random names and structure. But as the years passed, information spread to a minute level across the world slowly but surely. First, Google eventually had the layout of the city streets, then it had satellite imagery, then it had Google streetview, then it had people randomly uploading photos to locations, and so on. Eventually, there was enough information from big to small to feel relatively sure we could at least somewhat accurately represent the geography - not perfectly, absolutely not because we’d never been there - but an approximation that hopefully wouldn’t be too jarring for someone actually able to visit, themselves.

You may wonder why the hell I’m talking about streets in Mexico when your comment was on Hsin’s and Emilio’s characterizations, but I mention it because I look at a lot of things in writing with that same level of paranoia of wanting all the details possible to write it to try to be as accurate to at least someone’s reality as possible. That’s one reason why I haven’t written Domino, for example, which focuses on Vivienne’s life; it probably seems like it should be easy to do, and in ways it is. But I don’t feel nearly educated enough on how it would be to grow up in France in a rural then urban area with the sort of pressures she had as a young woman and with her different levels of wealth and the way she looked and etc etc to be fair to anyone who may find representation within that and to not accidentally jar them totally out of the experience by the equivalent of randomly throwing a basement in the middle of Texas because who the fuck knew Texans don’t automatically have basements in all their homes?? 

Really, with anything, there is always room for improvement - especially with anything as complex as any aspect of any demographic which inherently then serves as some form of representation for a huge variety of human beings. Humans, being complex beings themselves, will thus have an even larger variety in the way any topic can be seen. What is severely off-putting to one person might be acceptable to another. Sometimes society steps in and is like nah bro, idgaf if you’re cool with that, I’m not. And sometimes it remains so complex that it’s hard to give one exact answer.

What we tried to do was listen to feedback as we wrote and take it into account in the writing of the series itself. Also, especially later in the series, whenever possible we tried to do research as much as possible on whatever detail or topic we had going on to try to be as accurate as possible.

I’m truly not trying to skirt any sort of issue, I just don’t think I can properly say a singular reply to your concern without being unfair to different voices I’ve heard on this topic over the years. If I had never heard directly or indirectly from people that they specifically appreciate the representation of the characters, if in fact I had only ever heard concerns about them, it would be easier to say we were wrong. But I’m not part of any of the demographics so I can’t speak on behalf of any of them. Thus, I can only listen to what different people tell me, and know that regardless of what I’m told, for them that is truth and thus I respect it.

What I will say is it certainly was not the intention to upset, insult, alienate, or otherwise cause concern for anyone reading the series for anything other than the actual things intended to be fucked up like the things the characters went through and so on. I’m very sorry that the characterization is so upsetting and concerning for you. That really sucks; it takes away from the point of the story and puts you in a place that is deeply uncomfortable. I’m very sorry we put you in that position.

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RELATIONSHIPS

Actually, I’d love to hear more what you mean by your comment. I have certain inferences I make based on what I think you mean but I don’t want to misinterpret and misrepresent your concerns.

The way I interpret “how the mlm relationships were so clearly hetero? the sex scenes were so straight to me tbh.” is maybe related to the idea of dominance vs submission? Like making an equivalence of that to masculine = dominant = power/strength = top = Hsin, and feminine = submissive = weakness = bottom = Boyd? Is that what you’re suggesting or did you mean something else? I have a lot of thoughts on this subject but, again, I don’t want to ramble on a tangent if I am totally misunderstanding what you meant. Especially since I rambled so much above.

So if you’d like to explore the topic more and would like thoughts/answers/etc just let me know in another anon ask more specifically what you mean, if you can. Thank you :)

I’ll go onto ask 2 for now - I forgot exactly what came up in that ask vs the 3rd ask so I’m not sure how long it will take me to type up a reply. Just in case I don’t finish it today, I wanted to sign this off in the meantime with I hope you’re staying healthy and safe!

[houseofvans]

ART SCHOOL | INTERVIEW WITH BRIAN SMITH

Filled up sketchbooks of distorted portraits of passer-bys, mundane objects, personal notes, weird thoughts and meanderings are just a couple things in artist Brian Smith’s sketchbook and works. Textured with black and gray tones, Brian’s drawings are often personal, humorous, and observational. We’re excited to chat with Brian to find out more about his background, drawings, and what he has coming up for the rest of the year. Take the Leap!  

Photographs courtesy of the artist. 

Introduce yourself? My name is Brian Smith, I’m from a town called Hicksville, New York. Now, recently living in Los Angeles, California. I’m currently the sole employee of a warehouse and I like to draw.

What was your introduction to drawing and/or art in general? What were your early influences?  I’d had a babysitter who showed me how to draw actual hands and not just the turkey ones you make when you’re little. That was pretty big for me. It got me interested in figuring out how to draw other things just by looking at them for a bit.  I always had sketchbooks as a kid, and in turn would forget them somewhere. My Nana who was kind of a closet artist would find them and leave little watercolor drawings of shore birds, ladybugs on tall grass, pond habitats etc. That seeded some notion I wouldn’t come to until much later about the intimacy of sketchbooks and how good it feels to give and receive drawings. Early influences would definitely be those two women. There was also a lot of adolescent suburban troublemaking, the inevitable introduction to skateboarding and cartoons like Rocko’s Modern Life and Ren and Stimpy.

How would you describe your work now to someone who is just coming across it?  I generally stumble through an explanation if I’m ever asked.  I recently looked back at like two years of drawings for a show. Seeing a good chunk of what you’ve drawn over a period of time all at once is wild. I still don’t think I’ve got my answer. It’s all kind of vague, sad, funny and personal. I like it to be just so, where people can attach their own meaning to it or ask questions about it.  

How did you find yourself going from maybe keeping a journal to actually getting work creating art or selling artwork?  I’m still getting there.  I think so far those things for me have a mutually beneficial relationship. Drawing in sketchbooks is where I’m most productive.  Everything after that is selected and isolated into its own drawing. That isolated sketchbook drawing might become a print or an image someone wants to buy or use for something which is always great.

How do your ideas take shape? How do you get from start to finish? What’s your process? It’s a total crap shoot haha. Sometimes I’ll blast through something in a night and others, a half inked drawing will sit in a drawer for months before I’m ready to get back into it. I get my ideas from a lot of things and in a lot of different ways though. I have a very distracting internal dialogue from time to time, I don’t know what it is. Sometimes I’ll just hang on a phrase, words that sound funny strung together in a sentence and put it down on paper and save it, maybe draw what it makes me think of later on. This croucher character I started drawing came from a thought I had of how dumb I must’ve looked a few days earlier, scrunched down taking a photo in the city while a wall of people moved around me. 

When are you most inspired? And what is your favorite subjects or things to draw and why? Inspiration strikes at random. I mostly like to draw at night or very early in the morning. I like drawing dogs and people, they’re emotional critters.

What artists inspire you these days?  The artists in my immediate circle at Bill’s Bar (@billsbarla). Those people are constantly creating and progressing. It’s insane.

You moved to LA not too long ago, how has living here influenced your artwork if at all? What do you think about the art community in LA?  I got out here in November. Lots of sketching and a few finished drawings in the bag since then. I’ve got a few ideas that’ll have to cook a bit longer before I figure out what to do with them. It’s definitely been a receptive town for me, showed a bunch of drawings I’d been sitting on and got a nice response. I’ve been to a few art shows and they got me pretty excited on what’s going on and what can be achieved with some elbow grease. 

Tell us about a favorite project or collaboration you’ve done. What kind of challenges do collaborations pose and what do you love about them?  My favorite collaboration has been with Austin England (@mochelife). We started sharing drawings through the mail over a decade ago. We did that for years before we actually met in person 6 or 7 years ago. Now we share a studio space with some other great artists and I’m currently babysitting his dog Lola. Collaborations for me can tend to lead to overthinking. Not always, but sometimes.. and when it gets to that point it’s tricky to dig yourself out and just relax and work with what the other person is doing. I love the whole process of it though, it’s fun and you never know where it’s going to go. You usually learn something new and wind up with something cool. That’s the best.

What was your last adventure that showed up in one of your illustrations, thematically or just visually?  Driving through the midwest. Indescribable. I drew a bunch of roadkill from memory that was pretty fun and weird.

Every artist has a different way of making his or her artist career work. How do you make it work for you? Do you spend time maintaining an online store or just draw when you want when you have free time?  I pretty much draw when I can. Sometimes I just don’t feel like it, which is always tough. I just draw in my sketchbooks, turn those pages into zines or actual finished pieces and let people know they’re for sale on instagram. I haven’t quite dialed in the online store thing just yet, but I’ll get there. Every now and again a drawing job or commission will pop up. 

What advice would you give someone who wants to follow in your footsteps and pursue art? Don’t follow in my footsteps. Go to lots of museums and art shows. Keep a pen in your pocket. Take the extra time to get an image to look the way you want it to. 

What’s your best Art School tip that you want to share with folks?  Don’t write your artist statement in the 3rd person. 

When you aren’t drawing or hustling, what do you do to relax or just stay fresh in life?  Beers, talks, books and walks to relax. Going to a museum, taking a trip and or getting out of the old comfort zone to stay fresh.

What are your favorite style of VANS? I like the white Vans Authentic, especially all worn in and pretty raggedy looking.

Anything you can share that is coming up? I don’t have anything coming up which is nice. Everything’s pretty wide open creatively, so I’m just gonna keep my antennas tuned and try and get productive.

FOLLOW BRIAN | WEBSITE | INSTAGRAM

[abrclub]

ABR Club Exclusive: Interview with Kip

If you've ever stopped by the merch table at an August Burns Red show, there's a good chance you've met their merch guy, Christopher "Kip" Hondru. Having been a fan of the band for nearly ten years, Kip and I developed a casual acquaintanceship through many merch table transactions over the years. While following ABR on The Phantom Anthem Tour in January and February, I had the chance to meet up with Kip in Milwaukee, WI where he gave me a tour of the historic Eagles Club venue and sat down afterwards to talk about tour life, photography, and how he spends his time when he's not on tour.

Photo by Ray Duker

David: How did you get the nickname Kip? Do you prefer Kip or Christopher?

Kip: It's something my sister called me when I was younger. Friends and family always call me that, and it just kind of stuck around. I'm told that Kip is a nickname of Christopher. In regards to which name I use when I'm introducing myself to somebody, it depends on who I'm with. If I'm with my friends, I'll introduce myself as Kip. If I'm some place where I'm by myself, I'll go straight to Christopher. I do like that name a little better, but I'm not picky. I was named after my grandfather, so I think that's why I like the name Christopher. I use Kip when I'm selling merch for ABR, unless I'm trying to be funny. Then I'll give them a funny name. Sometimes it's fun to mess with the kids [laughs].

David: How did you get introduced to ABR, and how did you start selling merch for them?

Kip: I grew up with a lot of the guys in the band, went to the same school (Manheim Central), and rode the school bus with JB. I've known Brent since second grade, so I've always been around and would always help out here and there with local shows. When I was in college I would go out with them during the summer or on weekends when time allowed it. In 2009 I came on full-time when our previous merch guy was looking to get out of it. I wanted to stop my 9-to-5 job and go on tour because my friends were doing some cool stuff.

David: Did you go to Manheim Central from 1st through 12th grade?

Kip: Yup, born and raised. JB and Brent went as well. Matt was homeschooled, and Jordan [Jordan Tuscan, the original bassist] was homeschooled along with Matt. Jon Hershey, the original singer, was in my grade. I knew him longer than I knew Brent, probably by about two years. JB was in the grade above us. Josh Bowman, our tour manager, was in JB's class.

David: What's it like in Manheim with August Burns Red? Does everybody know them, or know of them?

Kip: A lot of people do. When I meet someone and they're like "oh what do you do?", I tell them I work for a band. They'll ask "what band?" and I'll say August Burns Red, and they'll be like "oh I think I've heard of them!" or "oh I saw them in the newspaper the other day!" [laughs].

David: Where did you go to college, and what did you major in?

Kip: I went to The Art Institute of Philadelphia from 2003 to 2007 and majored in photography. I really excelled at digital output and large format printing. I also did a lot of traditional film photography as well and would mix the two mediums together, scan the negatives, and then print them out digitally. I used specialized cameras called large format cameras, which are unique to work with and something I enjoyed.

David: I know you have a camera collection. How many cameras do you have in your collection? Do you use them?

Kip: I'm not sure, maybe over 200. Not all of them are work. I try to use them, but other things have kept me busy recently. I always try to keep a camera around or on me. I have one on tour with me, but I've only shot two pictures so far [laughs]. A lot of what I shoot doesn't need to be rushed around, so I'm just amassing images. I have a spreadsheet of the cameras in my collection, but it's not up-to-date. I kind of stopped adding to it and recently sold a lot of cameras.

David: It's always surprised me that you're really into photography and collect cameras, yet you don't use Instagram. Why is that?

Kip: I was never much about posting and sharing a lot of things. I never really got into that. I'm trying to stay off my phone much as I can [laughs]. It becomes an annoying habit.

Editor's note: If you want to check out Kip's photography, visit www.christopherhondru.com.

David: You used to post on Twitter a lot about things that happened at shows while selling merch and you started the Shoes Got Weird photo series. What happened to that?

Kip: I just lost interest in that stuff. I do think that photo series was funny, as a quick off-the-hip kind of thing. That hashtag came out of one particular tour I was on. I was working for The Devil Wears Prada, and they would spend a lot of time at the mall on off days, so I would be walking around the mall with them killing time. We would walk into shoe stores, and I would be like "dude, shoes got weird! Look at these!", and then it just became a thing [laughs].

David: What's your favorite part of selling merch?

Kip: I can't pinpoint just one thing. It's a combination of a bunch of stuff, like traveling with my friends, seeing new sights, and continually meeting new people. Like you for example, and getting to recognize your face and getting to know your name, seeing you come back time and time again, and seeing how stoked you guys are as fans. It keeps me going just as much as it keeps the guys in the band going and excited. It'll be sad the day I stop touring, because I won't be able to see everybody who I'm acquaintances with as easily.

David: What are some of your favorite ABR merch items you've sold over the years?

Kip: I like selling guitar picks. They're fun, unique, and collectable. I've become a pick collector myself because of selling them, and I've met lots of pick collectors through that. Now I save some picks for certain people because I think they're great guys and I want to make sure they get some picks. I've got two of every pick we've sold ever since we started selling them at the merch table. Someday I'll put them all in a frame of some sort.

David: What are your favorite cities, venues, and places to eat on tour?

Kip: A lot of people ask me this question. My quick answer is I like a lot of the smaller college towns, particularly in the Midwest, like Spokane, Washington; Lawrence, Kansas; Tulsa, Oklahoma; Des Moines, Iowa; Missoula, Montana. Those are cool because they're smaller towns, so if I wanted to check something out it's not far away from the venue. I usually have limited time before a show to go check something out, so if I'm close enough I can maybe ride my skateboard there in half the time I could walk there. It's usually a cool cheeseburger joint, burrito shop, or a bar/brewery that I'd like to check out, maybe a skatepark sometimes.

David: I didn't know that you skate. Do you use a longboard or a normal skateboard?

Kip: Cruiser board, and some longboarding. Not as much as I used to. I used to skate in the skatepark when I was younger. I'm not trying to do any tricks anymore [laughs]. I'm strictly cruising around. I like snowboarding a lot. I don't get to do that much, so that's where longboarding comes into play. Being on Warped Tour really got me into that because it had a lot of parking lot space, so it was an easy way to get around. We had a group of friends who liked to skate and we would find cool hills. That was always fun and something I enjoyed about going on Warped Tour.

David: So do you bomb hills a little bit then?

Kip: Yeah [laughs], I'm not trying to get max speed, but I will carve pretty fast.

David: Besides cities, what are some of your favorite venues?

Kip: One of my favorite venues right now is The Fillmore in Philadelphia. It's a newer one, beautiful, it's good on all fronts. It has good parking for us, and there's an easy load-in. It's also in a cool neighborhood. There's lot of things to do around there. I also like Philadelphia a lot. A venue a lot of us like in in Belgium. It's called AB Brussels. It's a scenic venue too and state-of-the-art. It's completely soundproof, like you'll walk outside and have no clue there's a metal show going on inside [laughs]. It's in a historic town with lots of cool architecture, which is something I enjoy about touring. I like architecture and history and being able to see something that had some kind of tie to the past and is still around. This building (the Eagles Club) is an example. I really dig that stuff. Anything that's an old theater that's still being used is cool to me, especially if I can find an old picture of what it used to be.

David: What do you do when you're not on tour?

Kip: A lot of different hobbies, odd jobs, and things to make money where I can here and there. I don't actually look for other tours, but if they fall in my lap, sometimes I'll take them. Lately I've been really involved with making cider. I've been a longtime home-brewer, so I started making hard cider and learning about apples and different apple products. Living in Lancaster County, PA, there's a lot of farm history and barns that I'm intrigued by, so I'm exploring local history back home through the history of the apple.

David: What's your favorite kind of beer?

Me: I like all kinds of beers and ciders and the whole gamut of the spectrum. I don't have an absolute favorite, but I definitely like something that's very flavorful and hopefully 100% real ingredients and no adjuncts if that makes sense. That sounds kind of nerdy [laughs]. So like a good farm-based or orchard-based cider, rather than random ciders you're gonna find at any bar.

David: If someone is visiting Lancaster, what would you recommend they check out?

Kip: Drive into the country side if you can. Go see the farms and see an Amish buggy. There's lot of cool things to see in the city as well. There's Central Market which is the oldest farmer's market in the country. There's good food and stands to get produce. There's tons of restaurants and cafes. A lot of people like Prince Street Cafe. I like a lot of bar restaurants like Pressroom, Taproom Spring House, Lancaster Dispensing Company, The Fridge, Quips Pub, Lancaster County Brewing Company, Horse Inn, and Isaac's Restaurant.

David: Is there anything else you would like to add?

Kip: Come to the 15-Year Anniversary Show! We haven't talked about it yet, but we might do some cool merch items there. This is the first time it's on the record, I haven't said this to anyone else, but there's a small chance I might bring some of my personal poster collection there. I have a flat file cabinet at home with photos and posters I've collected over the years that have been piling up.

[back-home-ballers]

How I Won SNL Tickets: info + tips

I promise this’ll be the last post I make about my SNL experience for those who are sick of hearing about it, but I’ve been working on this since Sunday and I wanted to address a few questions and give a few tips for the show + meeting the cast after (I know a lot of what I’m going to touch on are things I was curious about prior to, and after winning as well)

PART 1 (HOW I WON) - Okay so I sent an email for the April biggest fan contest maybe a day after they tweeted about it from SNL’s official twitter. They’ve been doing these contests every month since February I think, so I’d be on the lookout for a May contest in the near future. In terms of what to put in the email, I honestly could not tell you what they’re looking for, or how closely they read the emails. I know some people have sent serious emails and won, and others have sent funny emails and won. I personally sent a “funny” email with a few serious notes. So I sent that in mid/late March & I received an email on the morning of April 6th that I’d won tickets for the April 15th show (9 days notice). You have to email them back within 24 hours to confirm your tickets & it’s apparently hit or miss whether or not you receive confirmation of your confirmation. 

If you don’t win tickets through this contest, or the August lottery, you can always do standby. I have personally never done standby, so I cannot speak to that experience, but I know general information for that can be found on NBC’s website. For the show I went to, standby was insane because of Harry Styles, people had been lined up all week. However, I hear for most other shows, if you get there sometime on Friday before like, 6-7 pm you’ll be fine. Just know the significance of the host & musical guest, and remember stand-by does not guarantee you’ll get in. 

PART 2 (THE DAY OF THE SHOW & NYC) - I live in NY, but I go to school in the Midwest (moving back to NYC in the Fall, but that’s irrelevant) and we were on Easter break so getting a flight home wasn’t a big deal, and I had a place to stay. I know if you’re coming from far away & you win on short notice, NY is expensive so here’s a few mini-tips on that I guess: first, it’s usually cheaper to fly into LGA. I know that LGA is objectively the worst, but like, money. In terms of lodging, I might try to stay outside of Midtown and take public transit. Midtown is a money sucking hole, and I would avoid it for most of your trip (Although, if it’s your first time in NY or you really love touristy stuff, Midtown is a great place to explore). The entire city is super expensive so plan accordingly.

If you’re going to dress rehearsal, I know my letter said to check in BY 7 pm, but they let us upstairs at 6:15 pm. So when you get upstairs, MAKE SURE YOUR CELL PHONE IS OFF AND AWAY. There is absolutely no photography. There will be a page at the top of the stairs, and you tell them what line you’re in. There are two separate lines that I saw. From what I gathered, I think one line was people who know people, and one was contest or lottery winners. So you go up to a desk and show them your ID (it’s SO important that you bring a valid photo-ID with your date of birth on it) & your confirmation letter. Then they’ll give you a wristband, and an envelope with your tickets in it. The wristbands for dress rehearsal were either blue, or purple. There were very few purple wristbands, and everyone I saw with a purple wristband ended up in a floor seat.

After you get your tickets, you go through security, which is basically just a metal detector. They said no bags, so we didn’t even bring purses, but it looks like you’re allowed to have purses and just not backpacks. I wouldn’t risk it though if you think your purse might be too big. After security you go to the Peacock Lounge where another page looks at your envelope and directs you to either of the sides or the middle section. So this is going to sound kind of off but here’s what I observed about the sides: On one of the sides, you had the purple wristbands, and other generally good looking people. On another far side were people who seemed to know the NBC staff, and in the middle were the common folks. My friend and I were in the middle section. So you sit there awhile & they play music and there are big screens with pictures from sketches and it’s all cool and fun. 

When they started loading the audience, they called the purple wristbands first. Then they called by envelope number & letter or symbol. So the people on the good-looking side generally all left first, then people who seemed to know people all seemed to have stars on their envelopes and they went up next, and then they started calling plain numbers from the middle section. Our envelope number was 30, and I didn’t realize that we were literally the last number until they called up to 25 and it was only my friend & I plus these two guys were left in the little waiting area. So we joked with them about how we’re plebes, and blah blah blah so they eventually say “Everyone else in the Peacock Lounge may now make their way to the elevators”. So we got up, and got in line at the elevators, and I guess they started letting standby people into the waiting area because eventually they started lining up behind us. 

Once you get up in the elevators, everything is totally random. We got separated from our new friends in the studio, and despite being last, we ended up with good seats. We were on the center bend and we could see pretty much everything. They let in 30-40 girls from standby and most of them were way to the side in the kind of crappy seats where you can’t see the two main stages. A few standby people ended up in the center sections in seats that weren’t filled, and they were the last ones in.

PART 3 (THE SHOW ITSELF) - So the studio itself is a whole lot smaller than I imagined, and with the exception of that side section, most seats are incredible. The show starts with Che doing stand-up, and he was actually pretty funny. After that, Kenan, Kate, Vanessa, and Sasheer came out and did the cool song & dance thing warming up with the band, and then they set up for the cold open. I had a Trump cold-open, so it was cool to see Baldwin in his element. He seems to always be in the zone. So they do a countdown, and then the cold-open happens, and let me tell you, the rush between the cold-open and the monologue is real. They do the cold open in front of the main stage, as many of you know, so they have like a minute to get the whole set out, and it’s really something else to watch.

So they do the monologue, and I know for mine, they had dancers. So they swapped out everyone who was on the floor for the dancers, and then while the dancers were in the hallway, the people in floor seats had to literally run back. The people on the floor move a TON. So be prepared for that if you’re on the floor, especially in the front row.

They do sketches all over the studio, so at one point or another, one is going to be happening right under you where you can’t see it, and cameras can sometimes get in the way even when they’re directly in front of you. It’s all cool though, because there are TV screens you can watch on, or if you’re set on looking at the floor, it can sometimes be fun to sit and read the cue cards even if you can’t see the cast.

The musical guest performs twice for those of you who aren’t familiar with the set up of SNL, and with Harry Styles, the stand-by people were going insane. Staff yelled at them at least five times, and I know it’s exciting being in the studio, but it’s important to remember that it is a studio, and that people are working. So that’s just a little side bar there.

For Weekend Update they set up two big black things on either side of the set for the shot I assume, and during dress rehearsal Che & Jost told several different versions of the same joke to I assume see which one got the best reaction.

At the end of the show, as soon as goodbyes are over, they sort of rush you out so they can prepare for the live show (I don’t know how it is after live) Sometimes you can spot cast members in the hallway which is cool, I saw Colin & Bobby as I was walking out. You come out in the NBC store, so it literally feels like you just went on a Universal ride or something.

PART 4 (THE BARRICADE & MEETING THE CAST) - If you’re planning on trying to meet the cast afterwards, they come out under the 49th street marquee. If you’re planning on doing standby and your priority is meeting the cast, I would choose dress rehearsal tickets because they set up the barricades and people are out there before the live show gets out.

My friend and I started lurking outside around 10:40 pm and they set up the barricades around 12:40 am. Most people showed up around 11:30 pm. They set them up on the side closer to the street so stand around that side before they set them up. 

The cast members start coming out around 1:15 am usually from what I hear. I know Leslie came out at that time, and went straight to her car. Most of them came out between 1:30 am and 2:00 am.

I think my biggest tip if you’re going to do barricade is be respectful. Treat not only the cast with respect, but the people surrounding you. I think being respectful entails a lot of things, and for me the biggest things were people hopping the barricades. First of all, don’t do that. For one thing, when security tells you to move, you might not get whatever spot you originally had on the barricade back (and if you push your way back into it, then that’s like a double dick move) and second, the barricade is a physical boundary that is there for a reason. I know it sucks to be like penned in, and to feel like an inferior, but it’s ultimately to keep the cast, and everyone there safe.

My last two-cents on respect is I generally recommend asking before taking pictures, or videos, and always express gratitude. In terms of cast obligations, they are not required to take any pictures, or videos, or sign things, so don’t feel bad, or angry if they don’t stop or have to leave.

PART 5 (FINAL BITS & PIECES) - In terms of accommodations, NBC is great. My friend has trouble with stairs due to a disability, and as long as you correspond with them before the show, they’ll be able to make whatever you need happen. I know if you win the biggest fan contest on Twitter and you can’t make the show you win for, they’ve changed certain people’s dates. I don’t know how that works, but I know it has happened. In general, everyone at NBC is super helpful, and friendly, and they do everything in their power to make sure you have a great night.

So I hope this was helpful, and informative (I’ve been working on it since Sunday). If you have any other questions, feel free to shoot me a message. Otherwise, have an amazing morning/day/night/evening, and good luck with your SNL adventures!

[kansascityhappenings]

Joe’s Weather Blog: PM edition-Now the focus shifts to the cold for a week (THU-1/11)

Good afternoon…and what a change from yesterday when highs were well into the 50s in the region, Now the wind chill factor is closer to 0° (and dropping) and colder air is still spilling into the region. There is some nuisance snows out there but overall most roads south of I-70 are in pretty OK shape. Farther north…it is slicker and area wide all untreated surfaces (sidewalks/parking lots etc) are very slick. The snow will wind down before the end of the afternoon. The focus on this afternoon’s blog will be the cold weather. Friday’s blog will deal with the drought situation. This moisture is only of marginal help in that regard. So far KCI has had .21′ of moisture from this system. Some have had more however north and west of I-35 it seems.

Also just a continual thanks for making FOX 4 the #1 newscast in KC. As the weather was becoming more and more important, from morning to night yesterday FOX 4 was the dominant station again in KC. I don’t get into that stuff…typically ever…but just wanted to say thanks. 

Forecast:

Tonight: Clearing skies and cold…with lows in the single digits and sub-zero wind chills

Friday: Mostly sunny and chilly with highs into the 20s

Saturday: Cold again with mainly cloudy skies and a few snow flurries. Highs around 20°

Sunday: There may be a few patches of light snow somewhere in the area. Dusting at best. Highs will “warm-up” to around 25-30°.

There’s no need to go over everything that I wrote in this mornings blog…so let’s try to “advance the story” as we say.

It’s cold out there…note the temperatures showing up in RED on the latest surface map. Those winds are howling and gusting to about 30 MPH

Here is the 1PM surface map…

The cold air has invaded…we went from a 12AM high of 51° to a temp of 41° at 6AM to a noon temperature of 19° with wind chills of near 0°. That’s an impressive cold front. This cold air is dumping through the I-44 corridor as I type this.

As of 1:35 pm we are below freezing at 31°F here at the @NWSSpringfield office. We dropped 31 degrees in an hour and a half from a high temperature of 62°F at noon today. #OnlyInMissouri #MOwx #MidMO #Missouri #Ozarks #SGF #Arctic #Chill #Brrr pic.twitter.com/A2UOR3TgGC

— NWS Springfield (@NWSSpringfield) January 11, 2018

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Sending temperatures downwards from closer to about 60° into the 20s in a matter of about 1-2 hours or so. Right ahead of the front it’s 69° in Peoria, IL at 1PM…it’s about to plummet there too!

This map via OK Mesonet will constantly give you the latest wind chills…

and the latest temperatures.

This is a pretty strong but seasonal shot of cold weather moving into the area.

You can see the cold air mass dumping southwards…

It’s really mild ahead of the front…record warmth in some areas in the NE that have had a lot of snow lately. Hello Buffalo, NY! Record high of 60° at least today…but then this is coming tomorrow

235 PM: Winter Storm WARNING for Fri Afternoon –>Sat.

Details for WHAT, WHERE and WHEN: https://t.co/ONN8SnxTyx Notes: Lower confidence Niagara Frontier due to sharp edge on NW side of storm, higher confidence inland – #KROC Genesee Valley, and Finger Lakes. pic.twitter.com/V3t9wZjHLm

— NWS Buffalo (@NWSBUFFALO) January 11, 2018

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You can appreciate the weather change more when looking at how things have changed in the last 24 hours.

Look at Dodge City…50° colder as I type this (1PM obs)

So now let’s transition this blog to colder weather. We all remember how brutally cold it was to start the year. Well there is more and more data pointing towards another arctic invasion that will be moving into the area early next week. There are some subtle differences but the air mass on the way for Monday into Wednesday AM is about as cold as the one that started the New Year.

If you remember in yesterday’s blog I showed the temperatures just above the surface on 1/1/18…then compared that map to the EURO forecast for Tuesday morning…and they were very close. Today’s data is still on that road to nasty cold. It’s about as cold farther up too. So for those who remember how cold we got on 1/1…around -10° on average in the KC metro area…I’m very concerned that something close to that could happen again…something in the -5 to -10° range. There are the usual caveats…will the winds drop off (not sure) and will there be clouds ((doubtful)

The next issue is will there be any snow? There are chances. One is Saturday…that looks to be flurries or nothing. Another is Sunday…that has a bit of potential but as a disturbance comes out of the northern Plains. Really it’s warmer air aloft coming SEwards ahead of the change early Monday. Clouds will be generated from this…but there may very well be some areas of light snow in the region as well. It doesn’t look like much IF it even happens (under 1″ or so).

Then there is Monday…and I’m becoming intrigued. Actually it’s more like later Sunday night into early Monday. As this arctic air moves into the area…and interacts with the warmer air fighting into the area ahead of it…a large area of clouds will be developing through the upper Midwest and streaming our way. How long this moisture can survive in the dry air aloft remains to be seen and whatever would happen, snow-wise, would be fast and only last about 6 hours (if that) and it would be over with by daybreak Monday BUT IF we can get 1-2″ out of that…watch out TUE and WED AM for real low temperatures. We were missing that aspect on the 1st of the month and it still tanked to 11 below locally at KCI…with near 20 below in N MO where there was snow on the ground.

There are some subtle differences though…and we’ll have to see about the winds dropping off…but it’s something to really pay attention to.

Meanwhile there’s this….

#weirdweather @NWSCharlestonSC @NWSMKX

At least for now…. pic.twitter.com/YOOIbBvosL

— USA TODAY Weather (@usatodayweather) January 11, 2018

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OK that’s it for today. Tomorrow I’ll be on the 9AM show (9:45 am) talking about the success of the weather blog over the years when it comes to keeping KC informed. The weekly segment (for now) will talk about some of what I’ve written over the last week…some stats etc. Should be fun and I’m looking forward to it! My friend Gary Lezak presented at the AMS conference yesterday about the success of his blog. He texted me about it and I was trying to remember when I started this up soo many years ago. He thought it was around 2001 or so. I thought earlier but let’s go with that. About 325 blogs per year…each blog is at least 1000 words most of the time (some a lot longer)…so that’s some 325,000+ words/year…times 17 years so far…that’s over 5.5 MILLION typed words regarding the weather.

How many is that…well the King James version of the Bible has around 780,000 words…so the blog word totals are the equivalent of about 7 bibles worth!

The longest book written was some 2.1 million words in 1932 or so…the FOX 4 Weather blogs is more than twice that length! War and Piece was around 600,000 words…the FOX 4 Weather Blogs over the past decade and a half is about 9 times bigger than that!

Leave it to me to come up with that random information.

Our feature photo comes from Viktoria Foxfang on Twitter

This blog was 1130 words.

Joe

from FOX 4 Kansas City WDAF-TV | News, Weather, Sports http://fox4kc.com/2018/01/11/joes-weather-blog-pm-edition-now-the-focus-shifts-to-the-cold-for-a-week-thu-1-11/

from Kansas City Happenings https://kansascityhappenings.wordpress.com/2018/01/11/joes-weather-blog-pm-edition-now-the-focus-shifts-to-the-cold-for-a-week-thu-1-11/

[sudsybear]

I just got here

That toolbox was the best gift I ever received (well, Bart did give me a 2-speed reversible cordless drill for Christmas a couple of years later. That was pretty cool, too. But it wasn’t completely original.) That toolbox was the key for me to meet people when I was away at school. Hammer, pliers, wrenches, jewelers’ screwdrivers, with Ross’ inspiration, he and Dad prepared me well. There are times in the dorm when you need a hammer, or pliers, or an adjustable wrench. Thanks to Ross, I had them. I used his gift idea several times over the years. On my urging, my brother-in-law took one with him when he left for college. I gave one to my babysitter when she graduated high school. I even gave one to my sister-in-law as a wedding gift. That one was fun – I labeled everything – what a screwdriver is really used for, and creative ideas for bedroom bungee cord use.

 I’d like to say that’s what helped get me together with who would eventually be my husband. But in fact, Bart and I met because he needed a button sewn back on. (Well, he tells the button story. I maintain that the first time we met, we had a squirt gun fight that ended badly. He and his buddies gave up on the squirt guns and brought out the trash cans full of water. I was on the wrong end of gravity. I never knew how I met David or Ross, either.)  My mother was old-fashioned enough to send me off to school with a sewing kit. With sewing kit and toolbox, I was the woman to see if you needed to repair something. Had I been more entrepreneurial, I could have rented out the tools for $5/hour or some such. I could have sold quarters to make money. My roommate thought it quite amazing that I purchased quarters ($10 rolls) at the bank for the washing machines.

 I left for the UofR the 27th of August, a Tuesday. We packed up the Volvo on Monday, and early Tuesday morning Mom and Dad and I drove up I-71, across the Thruway, and delivered me to the dorm. We unpacked the car that afternoon. Dad helped carry my things up to the room, but wouldn’t stay to watch me unpack. “We’ll go back to the motel,” he said. I choked back tears and started unpacking. I was terrified and already homesick. I wanted Ross, I wanted my own bedroom – other than camp, which was some five years previous, I never shared a room with anyone who wasn’t family. I wanted everything familiar. Mom and Dad stopped by later and we got dinner together. They dropped me back off at the dorm, and stayed overnight in a motel. Once I was back in my room for the night, I called Ross from the dial phone in the hall, to let him know I was in and gave him my new phone number. I missed him already.

 Mom and Dad stopped by in the morning to say goodbye. They had to make the ten-hour drive back to Cincinnati. Mommer was still in the hospital, and they had plane tickets for a trip to see my brother Tom out in Oregon. I stood on the steps of the Student Union and watched my parents turn and walk back toward their car. It was a beautiful hot August day. The sun was bright in the sky, warmth radiated off the brick of the building, and the slight breeze was delightful relief. The sky was blindingly blue with white puffy clouds drifting over the tops of the campus buildings. I wanted to scream, “NO! DON’T GO! I’M NOT READY! TAKE ME HOME!” Instead I blinked back the tears, bit my lower lip, inhaled a deep breath through my nose, and, determined not to cry, turned and jerked open the glass door to the building and stepped inside. I needed to stand in line. I paused for a moment while my eyes adjusted from the bright outside to the dark interior. I discovered it was a short line, as the majority of the student body had not yet arrived. It was still freshman orientation week. I stood to have my photo taken and got my student ID which let me into my dorm, and got me my meals, and let me pay for junk food at the student run candy counter. Just like high school, but a ten-hour drive or a six-hour airplane adventure away from home and I didn’t know a soul.

 Over the next fifteen (twenty?) years, I revisited that moment again and again. I wondered, what if I had screamed, “NO!” and gone back home with Mom and Dad? What if I hadn’t stayed? What if I hadn’t been so damned determined to be brave? Would Ross and I have gotten married? Would we have lasted beyond Thanksgiving that year? Would we have had children? Would I have attended Ross’ funeral, and stood at his gravesite with his family and friends, many of whom I never had the opportunity to know?

 Instead, I live with the decisions I made, and the actions I took. I made new friends and I had fun. I lost my temper. I had my heart broken. I cried tears of loneliness, tears of grief, tears of fear. I got drunk. I made love. I broke more hearts. I learned to be alone. I made a life. I lost my balance more than once.

 *          *          *

 Our dorm was a ten story high rise, four six-person suites and two sets of double rooms per floor. I was on the sixth floor, “special interest” housing. The Inter-Class Living Center was decidedly not a freshman single-sex ghetto as so many of my friends from home were getting into. Instead, I lived on a co-ed floor, two male suites, two female suites, one set of male doubles, one set of female doubles. Thirty-two of us, sixteen freshmen, the rest were upperclassmen – sophomores to Seniors. It really was a great arrangement. Since the floor was co-ed and housed more experienced students, it never got too trashed, or rather when it did get trashed, people tended to clean up sooner than if it had been a true freshman ghetto. Also, because it was special-interest housing, we were required to have meetings once/month to plan and execute activities for our dorm and ourselves. That meant the floor residents really got to know each other pretty well.

 Roz and I roomed together during orientation. She and I hit it off, and decided to stick together for the year. We sought out Mike, the floor president, to confirm we weren’t committing some terrible crime against housing. He laughed at our concern, and gave his blessing. We switched our room assignments (swapped the name tags on the doors) and unpacked our gear. So much for all that worry over the summer about who my roommate would be. Vivyan (with the thick accent whose apartment was in the flight pattern of Kennedy airport) and Cindy attended earlier summer orientations and were in for a surprise when they arrived over the weekend.

 In our end-double with bunk beds, Roz liked the novelty of the top bunk. I really didn’t care. As a child I’d had my brothers’ old bunk beds and switched beds every few months. Sometimes the top bed, sometimes the lower bunk, sometimes I pulled them apart and used them as twins. After that decision, there we were, a short-haired mousy WASP brunette from the conservative Midwest, who billed herself as “the ultimate girl next door” in her housing application, sharing a room with a seemingly worldly Jewish blue-eyed blonde from Yonkers. I was suburban public high school, with Friday night football games and cheerleaders. She was East Coast private prep school with swim teams and water polo. What was I getting myself into?

 Orientation was Wednesday-Friday, and classes wouldn’t start until the following Wednesday, September 4th. I had orientation events to contend with…How to choose and register for classes, tours of campus, how to navigate the shuttle bus system, awkward getting-to-know-you social occasions. I already got my student ID, but still needed to rent a post office box, and I couldn’t miss a chaperoned bus tour of the local shopping district.

 One orientation activity was to take a busload of new students to the local “hip” shopping district, and send us on a scavenger hunt of sorts. They gave prizes for the best, or most unique, item purchased for under $5. The prize was $15 cash. I purchased a bunch of random things – a couple of bagels from a bagel shop, a few office supplies (pencils and the like) and once back at the dorms, decided to build, “The Bagel Bike.” I started in on the project, other folks wandered in to kibitz, and ultimately, that bagel bike won us money for pizza. I was “in”.

 Orientation was over and it was Labor Day weekend. My friends at home were heading downtown to River Fest for the holiday. I’d gone with them in years previous, and while the crowds terrified me, I enjoyed the camaraderie. I would miss it this year.

 Roz was inspired to personalize our room, and hoped to paint footprints on our dorm room walls. I said, “Sure, why not?” We found someone from the suite next door to take us out to the home improvement center to buy spray paint. Then back at the dorm, Roz traced her foot, we made a pattern, and together we got high on spray paint fumes while we painted primary color footprints on the walls and ceiling. Hadn’t I just done this? We even put a hopscotch board on the ceiling with black electrical tape, and glued a penny in the 8 square.

 Ross called in the middle of our painting session and I had to cut him short. “Roz and I are working on a project, can I call you later?” Oh that felt awkward. I missed him terribly, but caught up in the moment, I didn’t have time for him. This was going to be harder than we thought.

 “Yea, I guess. Glad you’re having fun.”

 A cheap plastic rolling Roman shade covered our windows. Dusty and gross it didn’t block out the morning sun nearly well enough (we were both late sleepers), and we wanted to cover it. But we still wanted the footprint pattern so as to have continuity. It was a problem to be solved.

 The suite adjacent to ours was called 6124’s. That was either the phone extension, or the official number of the suite in case of emergency, or both. It housed Mike, Rentz (aka Stephen Paul), J.G., Chris, Ken and Tony. Their common room was the “family room” of the floor. They had the bar, built in some year prior to my arrival, the television, and the open all night policy. It was the gathering place.

 Stephen Paul, a junior optics major, was one of the fortunate few to have a car on campus. He drove a Land Yacht – an early ‘80s Mercury Marquis four-door, fully loaded. An only child from Watervliet, NY, (outside of Albany) his parents lived on Easy Street. Really. They petitioned to get the street name changed, and won, so their official postal address was 1 Easy Street. On Tuesday afternoon before classes started, he drove a group of us to the local mall to get out of the dorm, shop and stock up on supplies. While in the mall, I considered the footprints on our dorm room walls and asked, “Does anybody know where I can get felt?”

 That started it. Stephen Paul, Chris, and Roz paused, stared at me, and laughed uproariously, guffawed even. I was clueless – I’m looking for the crafts store, what’s so funny? Sigh. The first of many quotes Stephen Paul kept in his private journal. I wonder if Ross might have laughed? I doubt it, he was accustomed to my blind blunders. He might have teased me a little – maybe jesting an intimate reply, “I know exactly where you can get felt.” I might have understood my gaffe and chewed ‘tardidly. But the guffaws threw me. I blushed and absent-mindedly chewed my tongue when someone finally stopped laughing enough to point out my unintentional double entendre.

 We got back from our shopping trip (stacks of colored felt procured without further incident) and I had a message to call home. I called, and Mom informed me that Mommer passed away the day before, on Monday, the Labor Day holiday. Mom and Dad had flown out to Oregon, said hello to Tom, got the call from the hospital, boarded a plane and flew back home.

 Ross had been with me when I last saw Mommer in the hospital. Now I was alone. Away from family, familiar friends, and no way to get home for the funeral service. I sat on the floor of the phone alcove and wished so much for Ross’ comforting presence. I called him at home and shared the sad news. He had been so patient with me and seemed to genuinely not mind going to visit her. In Rochester, I had no opportunity to grieve, classes were starting and my world started to spin.

 *          *          *

 Classes started Wednesday morning. I stopped at the post office in the afternoon, and found my first mail. It was from Ross.

  Postmarked SEP 3’85

Cincinnati, OH

 Sept. 1, 1985

 Deer Soozin,

 This is a tardid letter becuz this is a tardid terminal that I g0t al0ng time ag0 at W00ster that is from ab0ut 1969 and it sucks.

 Encl0sed is X

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 Encl0sed is the c0mplete st0ry on w0mbats.

Als0 s0me cart00ns….

And I th0ughT that y0u might want y0ur asprin case…..and s0me tapes!

M0MX says hell0. S0 d0es SK0T

I cann0t believe h0w much n0ise this thing makes.

 Enough teletypewriter tardidness….

 I felt strange going out with Steve last night because I sort of wanted to go dancing, but then again Steve is not exactly the person to go “cruising” with. Also, I’m not really ready yet. I would much prefer (obviously) to be doing something with you. And I don’t quite know how you feel about me seeing other people, etc…  I know what you’ve said, sort of. I wish you would give me some guidance here. I mean I would like to go out + stuff, but I’m really not sure what you’re thinking on the subject is…. Is this confusing to you? Do you care what I think about your going out?

 Whatever

 I am not good at writing interesting letters like yours, sorry.

 Watching Greg, Victor, Christopher, Adrian, Groteke, and Mojdehi get high the other night was not exactly an ideal way to spend Friday night. I need a FRIEND. Hard to find sometimes.

 Don’t call yourself a bitch. Everybody does stuff like that. I know you are a very sensitive caring person and that I do the same kind of stuff to you. I also know you had one hell of a lot on your mind about going to school, etc. So please don’t call yourself a bitch because you may convince me one day.

 2

 I miss you a lot, but right now I can’t even remember what you’re like! Do you know what I mean? Our telephone conversation today did not sound like Susan Savage to me.

 Query:  Is there anyone you’ve found worth being romantically interested in? I would like to know as soon as (if) there is, even if it may not lead to anything, because it is much easier to deal with if I know something is starting, rather than, “There’s this guy I really like a lot…and we’ve been spending a lot of time together…” type deals.

 Does this sound really possessive? I’m sorry. I can’t write “Light” letters. These are the things on my mind.

 I need a companion.

 You know, I really have no idea what you’ve been doing at school? Sort of a departure from this summer when we-both-knew-what-the-other-was-doing-at-every-waking-minute type attitude was more easily accomplished.

 I am very anxious to:

 start school

make friends

Get the PINTO fixed

Come see you. Here are the flight times:

 Cin – Roch. (Friday)                           Roch – Cin (Sunday)

3:15    6:40                                          7:00 p.m. ?

   3

 I’ll probably just stay until Sunday – but we’ll see.

 Very Sorry to hear about your grandma. I’ll go over tonight to see if there’s anything I can do for your parents.

Your pill Asprin case is enclosed. Sorry, we don’t have enough Asprin to fill it up!

 Well, I’m going to finish this letter so I can send it.

 I love you and I’ll talk to you soon!

 Love,

 Ross

  Did I have anyone in particular that I was interested in? No. Were there several guys who were interested in me? Probably – but I was at school for all of what, a week? Ross knew I didn’t have to work hard to get attention. The male: female ratio was something like 2:1. Do the math!

  I left my aspirin case? Hmmmph. I developed a habit with David and kept it ever since. I leave things behind when we part, my wallet usually, sometimes a sweatshirt or my shoes. When being dropped off at home, I said goodnight, got out of the car and climbed the stairs into the house without a second thought. The next day or several days later, or whenever I needed it, I called David, or he called me, or he stopped by to deliver my forgotten item, or I stopped by his house to retrieve the item. It got to be a joke after a while. I kissed David goodnight, and he said, “Got your wallet?” And I’d dig under the front passenger seat or get it out of the glove compartment. I’m sure a psychiatrist has an explanation for that behavior – fear of abandonment or not wanting to let go, or needing to return to the person. It couldn’t be as simple as forgetfulness. Just like David and Mark, I can’t tell you how many times Ross drove by the house to drop off my wallet, or sweater, or whatever that I had left in the car. I needed to leave something with Ross. I couldn’t leave my wallet, so I left a small plastic aspirin case that held twelve white pills. I wonder what else I left with him?

  Long before Ross and I spent our wonderful summer together, I chose the University of Rochester not for the academics (as my GPA can attest) but for the male:female ratio, presence of a Greek sorority / fraternity system (of which I was never a part – those of us on the floor took a perverse pride in razzing anyone who might choose to pledge a Greek house), presence of ROTC, a ten-hour drive from home, and finally, when I visited campus the previous fall, I noted that the women on campus all seemed to need to lose ten pounds or more. Not the best reasons to choose a college, eh? But I was having fun making bagel bikes, painting footprints, getting in squirt gun fights and getting felt. With peers surrounding me twenty-four hours a day, I was a social butterfly.

  *          *          *

  I brought more than a few childhood mementos with me to school. Of course I brought a photo of Ross, a Polaroid of him being Dum. Some favorite Bloom County comic strips, a drawing of Milo and Opus that Mark made, and a funny postcard from my brother Jack of an obese woman peeing on the beach. I kept photos of friends – Valli, Julie and Erin and David (a rare one of David without his beard) and arranged it all on the corkboard at the back of the desk. On the desktop I put my mini-stereo with tiny removable speakers (the tape player recorded, supposedly to record lectures and listen to them again) new technology at the time. Having no stereo, much less a turntable, I brought no records, only a few tapes I had been brave enough to purchase; Pink Floyd, Simon & Garfunkle’s Greatest Hits, James Taylor, and The Who, Face Dances. Ross recorded a couple of Joe Jackson and some Go-Go’s, and would soon send me a few others.

  On the shelf above the desk, I arranged the select few stuffed animals I brought, a favorite teddy bear, a stuffed dog my grandfather gave me, and the Opuses that were gifts from Ross and his Mom. Included in my mini-menagerie was a treasured stuffed beaver puppet my parents bought for me at the Appalachian Festival when I was a little girl, maybe I was ten or even as old as twelve. It was handmade and expensive at the time, so a special treat. My goal at the time was to collect a Noah’s ark full of stuffed animals, one of every species (dog, cat, bear, camel, hedgehog, fish, beaver, llama, etc). My father finally agreed to buy the puppet on the premise that MIT has the beaver on their school crest. “Nature’s Engineer” is what Dad (an MIT alumnus) told me.

  In the lounge of 6124’s, a half-dozen floor-mates, mostly male, huddled together watching television, conversing around the noise of whatever was broadcast. No one remembers the exact topic now, but relevant to the conversation at hand, and at an appropriate time, I said, “Oh, I have a beaver!” and promptly trotted off to my room to retrieve this puppet. Well, you can just imagine…six guys first started laughing that I said out loud, “I have a beaver.” They were further inspired when I actually produced “Nature’s Engineer.” They did unspeakably rude things to/with my treasured puppet and it really got waaaay out of hand. Just imagine five males between the ages of 18 and 22, and what they can do with a beaver puppet and a broken off hockey stick they called a “Fuck Stick.” I got frustrated that no one noticed how hurt I was, and went back to my room upset. In retrospect, they still believe the incident was very funny. But at the time, I really hadn’t wanted unspeakably rude things done to my treasured transitional object. They did eventually apologize, and I begrudgingly accepted their humility.

  I still have that puppet. For a long time I kept it in a basket with other childhood plush toys in my son’s room. One day when he was about three, he pawed through the basket and for whatever reason grew afraid of it (he’s a smart kid!), so today it sits in a basket in our bedroom. That beaver will never be a child's toy again!

  *          *          *

  I always listened to the music of the men of my life. In the late 70s and early 80s I visited my eldest brother Jack at college. His roommates played the Knack and Devo. Impressionable as I was, I thought those bands were cool. David and Christopher listened to Pink Floyd. In the evenings we lay on the floor of Christopher’s room above the garage and put on album after album. Dark side of the moon, Wish you were here, The Wall. In a more jovial daylight mood, they quizzed me, making a game to see how quickly I could recognize the album and track. The Who and Queen were staples in my high school. Heck, they were probably staples in most high schools for that time frame, the early 1980s.

  But driving around the city late at night, David tuned the radio to the local college station that picked up an NPR jazz show. I dozed as he drove through the night, comfortable in the passenger seat, enjoying the soothing strains that emanated from the speakers on the dash. I didn’t mind that he drove just to feel the speed and force as he took curvy roads too fast through the hills around Cincinnati. Finally, he returned me home, turned off the radio, we kissed and he shooed me inside. I forgot my wallet under the seat or in the glove box and called him later to retrieve it.

  Then later, when I drove the Pinto with Mark riding shotgun, I had two tapes for the cassette deck, Face Dances and Wish you were here. David and Christopher had given me a gift. I actually enjoyed a little Floyd, and Mark was impressed with my selection. Although Mark was angrier and listened to noisier punk bands, he reminded me that The Pretenders were a particular favorite of his and Scott’s. I’d forgotten. No wonder I enjoyed Bart’s music collection when we met.

  But Ross had the biggest selection by far. I became accustomed to asking, “Can you play the one that goes dum-dum-dum da-da-da?” and he pulled it out and put it on the player. My own personal DJ. When we were pen-pals, long before we ever started dating, his letters were full of musical references of the day; U2, Squeeze, Psychedelic Furs, Rush, Kinks. Then later, after we were inseparable, I discovered his true passions, Joe Jackson, Pat Metheny, Chaka Khan, Phil Collins and Genesis, and a private admiration for Neil Diamond. I was sworn to secrecy for that last one. What twenty-year old male in 1985 was willing to go public with his admiration of Neil Diamond??

  That’s probably why I gravitated to Mike’s room with Stephen Paul and Chris. Like Ross, Mike was an album accumulator and the conversation that afternoon was music. Mike was enthralled with the latest band he discovered that summer, Marillion, and we were being educated. The topic eventually turned to Genesis, Pink Floyd and the Who. Well, thank you David and Ross. I knew these bands. I knew the albums, I knew the lyrics, I knew the esoteric information of which only male adolescents are otherwise aware. Thanks to my buddies in high school, I was able to not only participate in that conversation, but “enlighten” those around me. It made an impression on them I guess…Chris remembers it all these years later. (Correction – he remembers not the actual conversation about music, but rather a conversation he and Mike and Stephen Paul had later in the dining hall. He reports that all were impressed with how I had held my own in their conversation.)

  What I find funny, is that while I was competent in several genres, including espousing the virtues of Joe Jackson and Pat Metheny. I was completely ignorant of Bruce Springsteen or Elton John. Evidently there is a distinction between Who fans and Springsteen fans. The two definitely did not mix. Not often anyway, and certainly not in collegiate male album collections in the mid-80s. I know the stereo wars later on got very loud. “Born in the USA” versus “Won’t get fooled again” or “Born to Run” versus “Substitute” or “My Generation”. It got vicious. One of the guys in the triple upstairs was a fan of Olivia Newton-John and cranked her “Physical” album over and over very loudly. The musical mix could be disconcerting at times.

  As I look back at it, that whole musical mix, I recognize that I married yet another album accumulator who still plays DJ on occasion. I also realize that it’s long past time for me to claim more music for my own. I always borrowed the sounds of others. I need to pick and choose and play my own music. But try as I might, I still cling to the music of others. I bought some John Denver, reminiscent of my father’s favorites. He taught himself to play Denver’s hits on the guitar when I was young and he was in his 30s. The music is soothing, a comfort from my childhood. Likewise are the story songs of Jim Croce and Harry Chapin, both men wooing audiences with their sad stories accompanied by guitar. Coincidentally, (or not) all three performers died untimely accidental deaths at the prime of their careers.

  *          *          *

  As soon as the students moved in and all the parents were gone, a construction crew closed off the driveway along the dorms. They would build a new parking lot – reconfigure the drive, add more parking spaces. The contractors arrived early, 7 or 8 in the morning. Sometimes their noise woke me up, so I dragged myself out of bed and watched from our window. The machinery was fascinating and I found it peaceful and relaxing to watch them work. First they tore up the old roadway, shovels cracking the asphalt and filling dump trucks with load after load. Other machines pulled out the curbstones and stacked them for re-use. I was amazed to learn that in Rochester and Western New York, curbs are made of granite. I don’t know where it was quarried, but new curbs were delivered in 4-6 foot lengths and backhoes excavated about six feet down in order to place the slabs. Where I grew up, curbs are built up out of wooden forms, and poured concrete or asphalt. I’m not at home anymore, am I?=ce���