#no one cares if ur not shoving in their faces how mORaL your characters are

[astrababyy]

After I sent the ask I had a thought. There is no basis for Feysand when Feyre couldn’t even freely give Rhysand her own name, he had to forcibly take it. And if that’s not an allegory for abuse, then I don’t know what is.

YES THANK YOU ANON

there literally aren't words to describe just how abusive the relationship between feyre and rhysand is, and just how bad it is.

note: relationships in books are allowed to be complex and toxic. i'm not saying they can't be. i, and most other antis, believe that it's not a good message to send that your books expand on abuse and have a serious take on that topic when the endgame couple is literally worse than the former. even if you ignore all the terrible messages it could be giving to impressionable readers (because there is a halfway decent argument to be made that people aren't often taking their life advice from stories, except that many do when it preaches as a gospel towards feminism), it's just bad writing in general, and people who paid for this story and gave money to the author are allowed to criticize it. that's a perfectly valid thing to do.

the entire basis of feysand's relationship is built on the fact that rhysand had to force, gaslight, and control her into everything for a major portion of their beginning relationship. at first, feyre literally wouldn't do anything involving him unless he took it by force. the only time in the first book where she willingly accepts his help is in the second task. other than that, feyre spends that entire time being forced against her will into doing things for his bidding, his agenda.

in the second book, the first few times she spends in the night court are of her being gaslit into fear and doing what he wants her to do. i mean... "i know you"?? really?? this man does NOT know shit about her, and that's literally one of the most stereotypical things gaslighters say lmao.

and then there’s the whole controlling that constantly goes on throughout their relationship. rhysand is always controlling the way feyre goes through things. acosf is the key example of him doing this — taking away her bodily autonomy and not giving her a choice in what happens to a child that’s going to kill her is absolutely insane. the sad part is that this is completely in character for rhysand too. he would ABSOLUTELY do this, and this doesn’t break the character that’s been established. just because we’re not seeing it through feyre’s rose-colored glasses that are always defending and excusing him doesn’t mean that isn’t the absolute truth.

from the very beginning to the bitter end, feysand always has been and always will be a horrifically terrible relationship. nothing and no one can say anything that’s going to convince me of otherwise, and the fact that this series preaches itself to be a feminist series is genuinely insane. there’s nothing wrong with writing dark romance or having toxic relationships, but do not market your story as anything but that, especially when you’re audience isn’t for adults. there’s absolutely nothing wrong with having or liking dark romance, but it’s just piss poor writing to pretend that it’s anything but. 

[ahoyimlosingmymind]

i think Sophie's personality took a nose-dive when Shannon over 'girl-bossed' the entire narrative surrounding all the girls in the books.

does this make sense??

I loved Sophie books 1-5. She had a fierceness and heroicness and a willingness to do what she believed was right from the get-go. But then somewhere along the line her already existing personality traits were shoehorned into this cringe label and over-saturated by characters like Ro who are always like "Girl power! and glitter!"

Sophie had so many great traits from the start-- but lately, her character almost feels like a caricature of those traits.

and I am NOT saying there is anything wrong with empowering women and girls-- however, the writing comes off as weak when it's spoon-fed to you that THAT is how you're supposed to perceive the character. Sophie was cool and smart and empowered way before the narrative decided to become "aware" of it in a textual sense. She was cool as hell before the books ever went "NOW THAT'S A STRONG AND POWERFUL GIRL!!! SEE THAT STRONG AND POWERFUL GIRL??? SHE"S SUCH A STRONG AND POWERFUL GIRL" like??? mf?? I READ the books. I ALREADY KNOW.

She was a leader from the beginning. She was a leader because she cared enough to do something about something. Way before the Black Swan named her the moonlark, and the leader of Team Valiant.

And she continued to develop those leadership skills over the books, until at some point, the writing became too aware of her development and shoved it into your face, instead of it being a subtle arc that spoke for itself.

but also... the way Shannon seems to want to sell her development doesn't exactly match with what she's written. There are moments in the books where characters shower Sophie in compliments that come off as generally untrue...

One of the defining aspects of Sophie's personality is her insecurity and secrecy. Which are traits that can be annoying at times, but are realistic. Regardless of those traits though, she still had dimensions and was willing to stand up for what she believed in from the beginning. The thing is, her insecurity never quite went away. If you read any of the later books, she has crippling self-doubt and identity issues. But then you have characters like Ro coming in and saying things like "Ur so confident!" and it just comes off as a very strange cognitive dissonance in the narrative.

No, Sophie isn't confident in her ability to lead, regardless of what the books say in small tidbits, when the whole of the books show that she is quite insecure, but believes in her values enough to do something to protect them-- which automatically shoe horns her into a leadership role.

What was admirable about Sophie's character was not her confidence. And is not her confidence. She's admirable because she's deeply insecure and flawed and not an amazing leader, but that she still tries. Sophie is a leader because she tries, because she steps out and says "this isn't right!" not because she's actually good at it. She does not have a lot of the typical qualities that make good leaders. She's not very outspoken most of the time, she's insecure, she's more introverted-- she's just a character who is justice oriented, so she rises above those feelings. WHICH IS A BETTER NARRATIVE CHOICE THAN "No Foster, ur actually a perfect leader <3"

I boil this down to:

TWO CONTRADICTING TRAITS CAN EXIST AT THE SAME TIME.

Sophie is insecure, and lacks confidence. But she's also moral, and therefore does her best to be a leader.

She's brave. Not confident.

am I making any sense??? I feel like I have a point and it's getting lost a bit here. Maybe I'll come back and clarify things another time. rn I'm tired.

ALSO: I fear the same thing happened to Biana and Linh.

I deadass think the introduction of Ro is what began it all. She's a try-hard character for female empowerment, that comes off as very forced and shallow.

[anne-i-write]

moriarty the patriot headcannons pt. 1

| requested by anon: Can you write about all male characters in moriarty has a same look of their  children and hpw many children they want? |

william x reader; louis x reader; albert x reader; sebastian x reader; fred x reader

word count: 2397

pt. 2: 221b boys

a/n: I DONT KNOW WHY I DIDNT WRITE THIS EARLIER IM SO SORRY THIS REQUEST HAS LITERALLY BEEN IN MY INBOX FOR SO LONG I AM SO SORRY I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS

william: 487 words

with his whole plan to clean the world of the filthy nobles, william never really stopped to think about having children

well, until he met you

you both were in town one day and he saw you fondly watching a child speak with her mother

“i think two children would be nice”

“i didn’t even ask”

“i know, but the look you gave that mother was telling enough”

n e ways he is a simp and he did eventually give you what you wanted

fast forward a few years, you have two children: a boy and a girl

and they look exactly like their father

like,, it lowkey pains you how much they physically take after their father

you wanted to be like “oh they have your personality, but they look just like me!”

no

granted, your son took after you in an emotional sense but your daughter was a daddy’s girl through and through

like she looks like him, she acts like him, speaks like him, she even EATS like him

ok but the men w your children

fred is a freaking sweetheart ok

like he’ll watch over the kids when no one has the time and they love him too so they’ll help out in the garden which you are SO thankful for

tbh they only like uncle albert bc he brings them lil trinkets from when he gets back from london LMAO

louis doesn’t show it, but he absolutely adores your children and makes extra snacks for them at tea time

you caught onto this at one point bc for some REASON your kids would not stop bouncing off of the walls before bed and they told you uncle louis gave them chocolate

and sebastian loves messing w your kids bc,,, sebastian

but he accidentally made your son cry ONCE and he was at the mercy of every adult in the moriarty estate including the boy’s younger sister

needless to say, he watched his actions and words around your children after that

now, william

i’m just gonna say this straight out: most of the men never really thought about having kids (save john and albert)

but when you finally had kids, william had a different outlook on life

like fr,, this man works overtime now trying to get rid of the filth that is called nobles

he doesn’t want his kids to be raised in a world where just because you have more money than another means you get to look down on them

you still instill in them those good morals ofc

he also tries to be very present in their lives since he and his brother were raised as orphans

when he was younger, he didn’t mind it all much

but now that he had this small family and a brighter future, he did everything in his power to make sure they’re happy and grow up in a cleaner and kinder world

louis: 320 words

it took you a week to get him to at LEAST humor you

“if you could, how many kids do you want?”

“none”

like, this guy is so dedicated to his brother and his cause it is a WONDER you somehow wormed your way into his heart

but you did and honestly, the brothers are actually very happy that you’re with them

william especially

louis rarely emotes but when you came into their lives, you got louis pissed at one point and everyone was like,,,, wtf?? he has emotions???

anyways, his answer is one kid LMAO

and when you get that one kid, he looks just like louis

yall already KNOW that he’s ready to die for that child as soon as louis holds him in his arms

the only kid sebastian wouldnt even try to mess with

he can deal with william’s albert’s or fred’s kids but louis lowkey intimidates him so he’s as nice as he can be

that being said, louis teaches his kid how to properly handle stuff around the house

you want to cry bc ur son is just so??? the little kid just loves helping out no matter how small the task and he’s just so cute it hurts

even sebastian’s kinda like,, “aight he’s the only kid i will tolerate”

louis grew up with only his brothers so he also wants to give his son a shot at a normal family

is actually aware at how he thinks he’s indispensable for william’s cause and he doesn’t want his son to end up like him

he also teaches his son some badass fighting moves

oh and louis smiles a lot more too

cried bc his son saw the scar he got on his cheek, rubbed some dirt on his lil face and said “i have daddy’s cool scar now”

all in all his son is the best thing to happen to all of you

albert: 505 words

same as louis in the fact that it takes him a week to answer

“you know you haven’t even answered my question”

“i’m sorry, what did you say?”

“how many kids do you want?”

genuinely takes time to ponder that question

he hadn’t thought of that since his family adopted william and louis

but with you?

“i think two darling girls who take after their mother is enough for me”

pls he’d be so sweet 🥺🥺🥺

you two end up having a girl and a boy, who look just like their father

and tbh, you’re not even mad

you love them so much so when albert comes back north, the three of you are ecstatic

the happiness was short lived for albert tho

he found his son spending time with william and there’s nothing bad right????

“where’s your sister?”

“she’s with mr. moran”

his heart DROPPED

out of all the people in the manor

HIM

he sees the two running around the garden

it all happened as soon as albert’s daughter went up to sebastian and said “you’re very pretty! you’re my knight now!”

he decided to “adopt” the little girl and now he’s lowkey whipped

you found albert staring at sebastian playing with his daughter and updated him about everything going on

“but him??”

“he’s just a big softie for her let it go”

isn’t really surprised when he finds out they can fight a little

actually glad that they can hold their own, God forbid anything happens to them

otherwise mi6 has to deal w family matters lmao

“albert, she only tripped”

“you shouldve seen the fear in her eyes as she fell”

“IT WAS A STRAY COBBLESTONE”

would raise hell if anyone even THOUGHT ill of his kids

william and louis are the doting uncles

william more so than louis bc your kids have never seen louis smile

now they’re on a mission to make uncle louis smile

louis was on child duty one day and they managed to slip away

omyGOD he was stressed but also,, extremely worried

so when he found them he had the most genuine smile on his face

your daughter was like (・∀・)

she loves uncle louis

ofc your son adores his dad like,,, who else wouldn't feel awesome at the age of 10 if you found out your dad was a high ranking general

feels superior to sebastian bc of his dad

lmao this 4’5 kid thinks he can rule sebastian for some odd reason

the house is always dirty bc him and sebastian always prank each other

your daughter is trying to catch a butterfly but she can’t so fred helps

instantly loves fred

“is that what heartbreak is”

“i guess that’s what happens when you try to get close to my kids colonel”

albert is kind of afraid of turning into his dad but he has you and everyone else to remind him that: no you are not your father, you are so much better than him

loves your family with his entire being

sebastian: 844 words

“i see you looking at those kids and the answer is none”

lmao you’ll get so pouty around him bc you want kids dammit

that and he spoils you to no end so that's why you’re pouty lol

“fine we’ll only do one kid and bc one kid is all i can tolerate”

bruh

this man gives you three in four years LMFAO

two boys a year apart and a girl in the fourth year

you wanted to smack sebastian

when the two boys grew up, it was obvious they were already taking after their father in the physical sense

it was terrifying

they genuinely look like mini sebastians and you know everyone in the manor is afraid that you two birthed satan

and the satan was your eldest one

he’s just a feral sebastian moran in a tiny body

your second son, god bless him, looked just like his father but with fred’s temperament

and see, you were fine with your sons looking like their father

it was FINE right

you prayed to God that your third child would have at least some physical resemblance to you

your daughter was birthed, she grew up

and you cried

“HOW DO THEY ALL LOOK LIKE YOU”

“i’ve got some strong genetics, baby”

you sulk for a lil bit

but you accept it anyway because you love your goddamn kids

thankfully, your second and youngest child are both soft spoken and it's only your husband and his tiny clone bringing hell to earth

smacking sebastian bc all of your children suddenly started swearing up a storm at each other

“WHYD YOU HIT ME”

“YOURE THE ONLY ONE WHO SWEARS AROUND THE KIDS”

finally sitting down and trying to convince them to stop swearing

“father does it!”

“your father’s stupid”

speaking of your daughter

she’s his little princess and no he will not take criticism

spoils her more than he spoils you

did she glance at a toy at a passing store?

he buys more toys than he should from said store

you have to physically hide some of his money bc there is only so much you can buy

and her older brothers are so caring you want to sob

if a person accidentally shoved her over bc she was tiny and they couldn’t see her

oh boy

get ready to restrain them like chihuahuas

“little sister will be protected at all costs”

since his second son is so different from him, sebastian actively makes time to talk about what the little boy is doing and what he’s getting from it

doesn’t want to be pushy and suffocating like his dad was so when his younger kid does want to be left alone to his devices, sebastian does so

but honestly loves that your second son is so literate

lddhsajdsfk what yall dont know is that they’re all in cahoots

kinda funny to see them all together bc they all take after their father so much it's like having three tiny sebastians go around town

anyways,,,, yall know the promised neverland right

you got ray, norman, and emma

granted one of them wasn’t as smart as ray but he definitely knew what stealth was

regular sibling rivalry was still a thing but if they could smell the pudding from the kitchen, they know they have to work together

sebastian caught his eldest smuggling biscuits into a small bag

he had half a mind to scold him

but then he ended up giving tips TO ALL HIS CHILDREN on how not to get caught next time—

bc of this they beg him to tell them some stories from afghanistan bc “there’s no way a man as old as dad knows this many stealth tactics”

louis is so fed up lmao

albert is in london most of the time so he just thanks the lord that he doesn’t have to deal w the propaganda that sebastian feeds his children about how “mr. albert is a bad man”

william is fine w it as long as they don’t trash the library

your younger ones love the library so they would cry at the thought of one of the books losing any of the pages

your second and your daughter are definitely the moriartys’ favorites

they don’t show it, but you just KNOW

your eldest could care less about that though

as long as you and his father still love him

and of course you both do

and fred is definitely your youngers favorite

they like to hang out in the garden

ok they still fight all the time though

just because your second child is soft spoken doesn't mean he’s afraid to throw hands

their sister likes to join in for the hell of it

but if someone wrongs any of the children

just because the younger ones are the moriartys’ favorite, doesn’t mean that they’re not gonna hunt someone down if they even think about trying to hurt the eldest too

yeah,,, good luck to them and their families

they got the entire moriarty estate coming after them

fred: 241 words

cmon yall are like,, young

but you did ask him bc you were curious if he thought about it

he wants one

and when yall do have the kid, you guys actually do have one kid and its a girl

since you both are young, you can immediately see a resemblance between her and her father

everyone who meets her would die for her

ABSOLUTE CUTIE

especially when she walks around the garden w her hand in her dad’s and he’s showing her all the plants and telling her how to take care of them

needless to say she grows up loving plants

any type of plant

the boys love giving her flowers or anything from bc she has the biggest smile every single time

no matter if it’s just a single rose or a rock

this was found out one time when sebastian gave her a rock bc everyone else had given her like,, two roses each

was afraid she was gonna cry

“thank you so much mr. moran! i will treasure this until i get old!”

she was like 4 at the time

and had the widest smile you’ve ever seen on her

guys u don’t understand she smiles a lot but this was like,, genuine happiness

but everyone was just,, i will destroy the world and myself if anything happens to her

fr it’s just sunshines and rainbows every single time she’s around

everyone just loves her ok

moriarty the patriot general taglist: @zoehanji

[imagines-mha]

League of villains and the type of s/o they need

Characters: Shigaraki, Dabi, Twice, Toga, Spinner, Compress, Kurogiri

➟ Did someone say patient??

➟ Before you guys date, be prepared for a LONG, SLOW, AGONISING wait

➟ He’ll push you away 93817 times before even letting you know his favourite colour smh

➟ You'll have to be thick-skinned. He has a tendency of saying things he doesn’t mean to test your ability to put up with him

➟ It wouldn’t be surprising if he tried his best to turn you off him cus he doesn’t believe he deserves ur love :(

➟ Affection is key, but in small doses

➟ When you’re alone and he’s being vulnerable- don’t treat him like he’s weird. Don’t even point it out, just let it happen and he’ll love you forever cus it takes a LOT for him to put down his guard

➟ Run your fingers through his hair, lace your pinky with his- cliché little reminders of your love. Remember how utterly touch-starved he is- the tiniest touches mean everything

➟ Having a motherly nature would be helpful. He forgets to shower, eat, drink water, function, and he’ll really appreciate your gentle reminders as opposed to kurogiri’s nagging ones

➟ Also- he’s a tantrum child with both mommy and daddy issues. You’re gonna need to be there for him when he gets out of hand

➟ Someone like his mother would be ideal for him: soft, understanding, gentle, caring

➢ Yeah ur gonna have to be able to throw a few punches when the time comes

➢ He’s gonna run ur ass deep into the ground with his hard-hitting comments and straight-up insults. And he’ll probably pick a fight with you just to see how your body moves 🙄

➢ He doesn’t rlly mean what he says. He just finds it hot when you get mad

➢ If you’re good at arguing then dam 😳😳 he’s gonna be SHOOK

➢ You gotta like to tease, and like to be teased. He’ll pull your hair while he walks past you, you’ll shove him into the door when he’s not on guard. Simple things, yaknow?

➢ Enemies to lovers; slow burn; 500k

➢ He’s a secret glutton for your touch tho. Has no issue with grabbing your ass in public or dragging you into his room to fuck you whenever he wants. Be spontaneous 🧚🏻‍♀️✨

➢ POSSESSIVE DOE 😳

➢ If he sees you being too friendly with one of the members the league, then good luck bro cus his punishments HURT LIKE A BITCH

➢ Remind him he’s the only one you want- the only one you have eyes for. Then he’ll be satisfied

➟ please give him your heart. All of it.

➟ He’ll nourish it and water it and care for it like he’s never done with anything else before

➟ Boy has got so much love to give and he wants to give it ALL to you

➟ Someone spontaneous would suit him well. He’s excitable, and operates on a lot of last minute decisions. If you’re regulated with schedules and times, he’s not the guy for you

➟ You gotta be versatile. Able to take high ass doses of energy one second and snarky comments the next

➟ Also thick-skinned. If he splits and calls you a bitch, he doesn’t mean it. It hurts but you gotta understand it- plus he’ll make up for it with thousands of apologies afterwards

➟ Someone who can take a LOT of affection and PDA. If he’s in the same room as you, you can bet your ass he’s gonna be HOLLERING about how much he loves you. His hands will NEVER stop touching you when you’re together in public

➟ He’s so soft. Listen to him bro. Like hear his struggles and trace your fingers over his scars and tell him all he means to you

➟ He’s a baby when it comes to comfort man he just wants someone to hold him

➢ Oh my god DUDE you have got to have SO MUCH SKILL

➢ She’s a problem child at best. If you ain’t gonna at least guide her in the direction of right and wrong, you and your family might end up dead

➢ Just a reminder of her love

➢ Sometimes you gotta talk to her like she’s a child to make her understand. Her moral compass was blown to bits years ago- she’s gonna need someone firm

➢ But also someone who can handle her extent

➢ She’s very forward- and she’ll probably try to take your blood more than you’d probably want her to

➢ But once you tame her, she’s a cutie

➢ Talks a lot calmer with you- and seems a hell of a lot more human than before

➢ She’s really good at listening to you, and even better at taking you into her arms and treating you like you’re the most important thing in the entire world

➢ because to her, u are 🥺

➢ When she chills out, falling in love with her is as easy as pie

➟ Someone NON JUDGEMENTAL.

➟ He genuinely doesn't believe he deserves love. Like ik it’s emo but he’s been thru some shit and he thinks he’s gonna die alone

➟ u gonna need to prove him wrong

➟ Any kind of affection makes him red in the face and dizzy. With that in mind, give him all the affection you have

➟ You gotta be clean too cus his room is a MESS and he’s gonna need the reminders and help fixing it up

➟ Same interests would be nice, or at least have an understanding for gaming and why he loves it sm

➟ If you’re a girl who plays grand theft auto tho,,, he’s 😳 simping respectfully

➟ But fr you gotta treat this man like he’s the cutest guy in the world. He’s flustered as fuck, but he has SO much love in him

➟ You gotta have some level of maturity. He has no time for lackadaisy, over-bubbly girls who are never sad

➟ Show him your depth and then he’ll knock down his walls

➢ Can you handle a tease??

➢ God i fuckin hope you can cus this man is RELENTLESS

➢ You gotta have some level of class like let’s not lie

➢ If you’re well-versed in poetry, got that dark academia aesthetic goin on, read a lot- he’ll FALL SO HARD

➢ he just wants that live-mysteriously-in-the-woods-with-my-lady aesthetic

➢ Act surprised and impressed when he graces you with his magic tricks. He’ll want to show you first, since your acceptance is his top priority so u better act like one direction has reunited to give you a personal bedroom concert u hear me x

➢ You gotta be a romantic. Man’s gonna perform the most GRANDIOSE expressions of love

➢ Kissing your knuckles, dipping you into his arms, bridal style carrying you everywhere, cheesy old-fashioned pet names???? Atsuhiro has GOT it

➢ And he loves to hear it all back

➢ He’s a dad, too. And he wants a girl who is motherly. It may sound traditional, but if you know how to cook and clean etc like a housewife, he’ll be swooning

➟ Oh my god you have got to be delicate. And you have to be okay with being babied

➟ He’s a quiet man with a hell of a lot of strength. He does manage the entire league of problematic kids after all

➟ If you’re mature like he is with a romantic side, he’ll be drawn to you so fast like SNAP. U got his whispy heart beating

➟ But also- be a little carefree yakno like he loves to relax as much as the next genetically modified ex-hero-in-training rip shirakumo

➟ Loves the type of girl who’s unafraid to be truly romantic. Slowdance with him in the bar at 3am and he’ll believe his entire life is worth living

➟ Also pls support him when he cracks his dad jokes 😭 ik theyre terrible but he needs the love smh 😔

➟ He��ll ask if you want to go mountain climbing and oh my god SAY YES HE’LL MELT

➟ If you’re good at tending to the league (whether it’s by being a good listener or patching them up after fights) he’ll be more attracted to you. The league are his greatest treasures, and you being friendly with them will only make his love for you grow

[toaster-hair]

i try my BEST not to let fandom get in my way of how i view ships bc i always see ships in a non canonical way. so if you want you can fold a ship into whatever way you want whether its aus, fix it fics, or whatever. i especially try not to let the popularity of a ship get in the way of how much i like a ship, im very fond of rarepairs and crackships but i dont consider myself someone who cant bring themselves to like popular ships or even brags about liking.. ANYTHING that isnt mainstream

but there comes a POINT where when ALL of the content you see for a character youre fond of is ABOUT A SINGLE SHIP that you start hating the ship and maybe even the other character involved. it hurts even more when its a ship you fell out of love with.

yes, im talking soudam AGAIN bc kazuichi has rotted my brain so badly that i feel like i cant even go a single day without thinking of him, AND I BARELY EVEN INTERACT W/ THE DR FANDOM ANYMORE. one of my ocs was just a genderbent au i made of him that looked distinct enough i just took it and ran. thats how bad it is. (tbh i do just like the color pink and... sharp.. teeth.. so thats probably why. hes pathetic too which just makes it x2 as good)

look, i dont think that ppl who ship soudam are inherently bad ppl. i dont really care about what ppl ship as long as theyre 1) not shipping real ppl and 2) not shoving it in other peoples faces. and i dont see any soudam shippers directly doing that. i was a soudam shipper, and honestly, i can see why ppl ship it. its an interesting dynamic.

bbbutt.. i dont ship it!  i personally dont care for it anymore, or even just general dr stuff. i should probably get into dr stuff more sense i feel like other than skullgirls and cookie run, im a bit lost when it comes to fandoms nowadays. but i still really like kazuichi and, by extension, sonia and their ship sounia. so every now and then i look for content abt them whether its for comfort or horniness, or just bc i want to. and a big theme i see is soudam. everywhere. its not unbareable especially on a site like tumblr where i can block certain tags and words. but even with that blocking, soudam can still clog it up meaning its harder for me to find content i like.

its even worse when some of that content is intentionally made to spam tags. an example would be what happened on instagram a while back, im not sure if that many other people noticed it, where ppl would spam dr ship tags with things such as “hey ur ship sucks xoxo”, feet, and in the worst case scenario, gore and self harm.

its even worse (take a sip everytime i say that) when you bring in stuff like antis and proshippers which, IS A CAN OF WORMS I DO NOT WANT TO GO INTO. i dont use either label, i hate antis but i really fucking hate proshippers. which is why i dont like ppl labeling all sounia shippers as proshippers because.. no. no i am not. you cant dictate what side someone is on in a silly shipping war based of a single thing they like. i know damn well there are sounia shippers who are proship, anti, somewhere in the middle, and the same can be said abt soudam shippers. which is why i hate how soudam shippers are seen as morally good and sounia shippers are seen as gross. i just wanna see some pathetic lil guy try and fail to woo a girl, i dont wanna argue about what ship is superior. neither are illegal, so they are both equal.  

in conclusion; there are and will be a lot of soudam shippers. i dont care. i just want to be left alone, but soudam is hard to ignore. dont try to call any soudam shippers poopyheads, lets all just try to be nice and respect one another. sorry if this seems like a hate rant, because it is. i am frustrated. didnt mean for this to become an 8 paragraph essay, but thats just what happened. 

[jaimetheexplorer]

I brought down by niks latest interview.Saying "J never needed redemp.He was a guy who certain circumstances in his life e.g. Kingslayer so then he needed to redeem himself bc he did this horrible thing when killing the Mad King. Then N said the redemp arc where he had to be good guy, stay with Bri etc that's not GOT.You cant erase ur prev life.Jaime bel that redeem urself meant redeeming his past and he couldnt. He can't cut off who he was.The idea of leaving C alone is impossible to him" Wtf?

2/2 Downhearted anon. Just that interview makes no sense. In prev season interviews, wasnt Nik wanting Jaime to escape Cersei for good and be with Braime forever, like he was the biggest Braime shipper??? I dont understand. Does he think ppl don’t remember stuff? Its a shame theres no way to ask him about this.

Dear Downhearted anon,

I have to admit I read only a short excerpt from that interview, so I might have missed some of the other content, but, from what I read, this is what I can say.

There are different layers to his comments, IMO. One is the take on the story, and the other is the justification of the writing choices. And, as much as I might vehemently disagree with the former, what I take issue with is the latter.

When it comes to the take on the story, we have to remember that he has to talk about the actual content of the show. The show, unfortunately, did go with the idea that Jaime is essentially doomed to never escape his past. I do not believe that is his arc in the books for many reasons, and I think it was extremely underwhelming, nihlistic and unsatisfying even just taking the context of the show into account. But, unfortunately, nihilistic and unsatisfying is what we got. The show was aiming for romanticizing incest and abuse romantic tragedy with JC, in the end (I actually think there was a far more disastrous chain of events at play, which required multiple OOC developments for multiple major characters just to arrive to Jon killing Dany - but that’s a longer story), and it is what it is. He has to talk about the reality of the episodes, not the alternatives.

If you take most of Nik’s comments, and go back to read D&D’s and Cogman’s interviews from the past, you’ll notice that it’s mostly stuff that’s lifted straight from their quotes, even down to the language: “good guy/bad guy”, “he doesn’t have a redemption arc”, “it’s just life, and he has made some mistakes”. I don’t know whether this is because he had a “final season” briefing with them and came around to see things their way and agree, or because he was told this is what he was supposed to say about the story, or because even though he doesn’t agree with it, this is what was written in the end and so this is what he talks about. His reasoning for saying these things is anybody’s guess and kind of beyond the point. But, where before he used to have his own take on the character and his arc, he’s now basically regurgitating the party line.

For my part, I never completely disagreed with the idea that Jaime does not need redemption per se. Jaime doesn’t need atonement for slaying the Mad King, for sure. He needs recognition for that. He needs atonement for a other horrible things he’s done, but even those (e.g., pushing Bran, the incest) are more about moral gray areas areas than villainous behaviour per se, since he’s never committed atrocious acts just for his own selfish gain, or for power, or because he enjoyed hurting and killing. More importantly, I have always seen Jaime’s story as more of an identity arc, where redemption is just one component. In that sense, I can agree with the take that that he is a “complex character who, at times, has made some terrible mistakes”. Jaime is not, and never was, a straightforward villain who needs to atone for his sins. He’s a much more complex and layered mix of sins and honour, and goodness and idealism turned bitterness and cynicism, and a messy product of living most of his life in toxic and abusive environments who, in some situations, has committed some horrible mistakes that he needs to own up to and face the consequences of, and who is trying to redefine and reinvent himself in the aftermath of some life-changing events such as losing his hand, meeting Brienne and growing disillusioned with Cersei. 

The problem is that, while D&D preach about Jaime being a complex character who does not need a ‘cheesy’ linear redemption arc, they also, in the same breath, justify an ending that shoves him precisely into a clear, black-and-white, simplistic category (”he just accepts he is a hateful man”) or display the psychological depth of a 5th grader (go check out their take on the sept scene in their Oxford Union Q&A and their inability to think in any more complex terms than “good guy/bad guy” or to understand that not all “bad” actions are equal). They’re not deep writers, and that shows painfully in their execution. But I can understand the “no need for redemption” arc, from a theoretical/philosophical perspective.

What I take far more issue with is justifying writing choices by attempting to play the realism card, or the adult writing card, or the “this is GoT” card, basically implying that everyone who dislikes or criticize it is being unrealistic, immature or unsophisticated for not accepting the only inevitable outcome to a story (I wrote a twitter thread about it this week). Just because your story has decided to depict things in a certain way, it does not mean that that is the only realistic option for the story, and that people who expected/wanted/hoped for something different were fooling themselves, let alone that it had to be written that way because that is how life works.

Sure, there are people who fail to break away from their (abusive, traumatic, toxic, what have you) past and move on, but there are also plenty of people who do, and who end up thriving. One outcome isn’t any more realistic or true to life than the others. And, while some might think this is a hyperbole, it is highly irresponsible, IMO, to say that being unable to escape toxicity and your past is “the way things are”, when there might be people out there who do struggle with trauma, toxic and abusive relationship (or know people who do).

On top of that, it is rather silly to imply that we were expecting some unrealistic, too-easy scenario, where Jaime flipped a switch and totally erased his past overnight. That implication is misguided, at best, and dishonest, at worst. We put up with four entire seasons of show-only “non-linear” storytelling when it comes to Jaime, and were incredibly patient with it. Wasn’t the point of those four seasons precisely to show that life is complicated and he couldn’t just let go of his past so easily? We watched that. It happened. Nothing about this was easy or unearned.

Had we been shown a Jaime who was 100%, stupidly and completely devoted to Cersei at every turn, cruel, evil, selfish and not caring about the innocents, of course expecting an outcome where he just leaves it all behind for a honourable wench or what have you would have been a ridiculous expectation to have. Indeed, back when Jaime did come across as that kind of character, nobody was expecting anything from him. He could have died with Cersei under those bricks and most wouldn’t have cared.

Instead, for years, we were shown a Jaime that did struggle between his toxic past/Cersei and his honour and, far more often than not, we saw his honour win out. While I can see an argument for saying that didn’t guarantee an outcome where he did break free of his past for good, it’s not like like there was no buildup or seeding for the more positive, less nihilistic alternative. So I don’t find it so far fetched to have expected the events of S7 to be the last straw that finally tipped the scales completely to the other side (especially considering how 8x02 was written very heavily to imply just that or, at the very least, did not seed any doubt).

By Nikolaj’s own admission in TONS of interviews, he had been fighting with D&D for years because he expected things to move in a certain direction and kept getting frustrated when they didn’t, or when they confused him. He wanted the exact same things we wanted for Jaime and in his relationships with Cersei and Brienne since SEASON 2. He might have resigned himself in the end to having lost the battle, but he behaved exactly like us for years. So, assuming he believes what he is saying, if I could talk to him, I’d ask him how is it that he got the same feeling of “expectation” for something that in the end never came? Maybe because the seeding for both options were there all along? Maybe because, if the seeding for both options were there all along, the alternative isn’t so far fetched and inconceivable after all? Maybe because if the alternative isn’t so far fetched and inconceivable after all, then what we got isn’t the only inevitable way this could go down? Food for thought.

Of course, I want to believe that he isn’t that tone-deaf and unsophisticated as an actor (and a writer) not to realize that the only problem with the way Jaime and JB were written in S8 was not the fact that they didn’t get a HEA. Ignoring the writing quality, for a moment, and just focusing on the writing choices, there were literally dozens of ways of writing a story that ended even in a similar tragedy (EVEN with Jaime dying with Cersei), that would have been far better and more satisfying than what we got. The problem isn’t that Jaime didn’t declare his everlasting love for Brienne or that he didn’t stay together with her. The problem is that we patiently waited through all the buildup and seeding mentioned above, for years, for a relationship that ended up being butchered within 30 minutes, destroying literally everything it ever stood for (first and foremost trust and respect - I am not going to list everything, but Jaime trying to sneak out without so much of a goodbye and being completely indifferent to her pain after she vouched for him and saved his life multiple times was not only OOC, but completely unnecessary to the plot, unless it aimed to destroy the foundations of their bond, way beyond the romance).

To conclude, I’ll leave you with GRRM’s own words, when asked about Jaime’s redemption arc that he, unlike the show, has explicitly stated he wishes to explore:

“I want there to be a possibility of redemption for us, because we all do terrible things. We should be able to be forgiven. Because if there’s no possibility of redemption, what’s the answer then?”

The show decided that the answer is that we don’t escape our past. We are doomed from the beginning and any attempt to change and move on is eventually futile (and that ended up being true of nearly every character in the show, not just Jaime). But that doesn’t seem to be at all the stance GRRM has on this whole thing, and I would dare anyone to tell me that GRRM’s vision and his writing are inferior, too easy, or less realistic than what we got from the show.

There’s no guarantee that Jaime will survive in the books, or that he and Brienne will get a HEA (although I do not rule it out at all).  But the fact that the man who invented these characters and this world has a different stance on Jaime and redemption automatically invalidates any nonsense show people can say about how this was the perfect and only way it could end, and that expecting anything different from this series was wishful thinking.

[thegeminisage]

What other characters (of DBH) you think people should appreciate more and why? I love read your opinions❤

omg anon pls thats so sweet

(if anybody wasn’t here for the last ask the first character was north & there’s a follow-up here)

alright just a “””quick””” (lol as if) little thing for each one bc it’s getting late & you’ve already been waiting on this for like an hour at the time i started typing. it’s probably gonna be long as fuck but the tl;dr is at the bottom

LUTHER:

they did luther so dirty…it was like david cage was playing “racist trope bingo” for his entire debut chapter…and then on top of that all he cares about is kara & alice, these two near-strangers, and it’s real easy to get him killed for them. in fact, in an ending where kara sacrifices herself at the border, she tells alice that luther will get her across the border, and after that, rose will take care of her. UM WHAT? don’t call ur PSN trophy “happy family” and then try to erase luther like that!! what does luther want? what are his hopes and dreams, his fears? nobody ever bothers to ask bc they’re too busy making ralph alice’s dad. and it’s not that i don’t like ralph - i do! but he threatened alice with a knife TWICE. after her previous dad’s bullshit, that’s the last thing she needs!!

here’s my take on luther: he says that what his life was before kara & alice doesn’t matter, and that’s because david cage doesn’t care about him. but imagine instead that luther remembers what he did (was forced to do) before he broke his programming. our luther is sweet and gentle and good, but zlatko forced him to use his strength as a weapon for LITERALLY tearing people apart. don’t you think luther regrets that? don’t you think he wishes he could take it back? perhaps his even temper and loving heart is a RESULT of those early memories: he’s seen the worst sides of anger and callousness, he’s had to be complicit in it. my feeling is that he never ever wants to be complicit in something like that again…it feels weird when he picks up a gun in the game because i think he would be even more of a staunch pacifist than josh?? i feel like even when luther does get annoyed or angry he’s so afraid of the harm he’s capable of doing he doesn’t even really let himself feel it And That’s Sad. he should be able to get annoyed at like a broken coffee maker or some shit without illogically worrying it will result in someone’s maiming or death?? maybe he is So Ready to throw himself on a grenade for kara and alice because yes, he does love them, but also he feels he has to redeem himself somehow, yk? he has to be willing to do absolutely WHATEVER it takes to be Good

they didn’t give luther any depth…he never got to speak to zlatko’s captives and apologize, he never got to express a feeling about kara potentially burning down the whole fucking nightmare house (with living androids inside, i might add) - would he have wished to save those androids? would he be glad their suffering was over? would he have motherfucking hearts in his eyes for kara single-handedly destroying his own personal hell? he deviated for alice, it was alice that made him say “ok, doing this to kids is where i literally can’t take it anymore” - don’t you think he’d be so retroactively terrified of all the terrible things that could have happened to her? 

like i truly don’t get why people make ralph alice’s dad when luther loves her so fucking much he’d bring her the moon if she asked - he’s the only person who loves her just as selflessly and unconditionally as kara does. she accepted him and wanted him to say goodnight their very first night together…as soon as he resisted his programming, she stopped being afraid of him, and it must be so amazing for him to finally have people around who don’t either fear him or try to control him…whether u ship him with kara or not (i do, everyone should - it’s one thing to HC kara as gay but i side-eye people who don’t wanna ship luther with anybody) you know he’s gotta cherish them so much

AMANDA:

ok look i know amanda is the antag to connor’s story but honestly she’s metal as FUCK. i was so fucking floored to not only learn the garden isn’t a garden but that amanda isn’t amanda…my first playthrough i was letting connor be just a lil bit deviant but whenever amanda would ask about it i would panic and lie…now i know it doesnt matter what you can say and you can be blatantly deviant right in front of her and she’s like ok Whatever BUT i was deeply shook to realize all my lying to her all along hadn’t meant a thing…she did in fact KNOW i was lying because she wasn’t real, she was living in connor’s brain and she could see all that shit he was doing

and also?? like, imagine you were made out of a dead person’s face and voice. we don’t know if amanda has a body, we don’t know if kamski actually liked what he created or thought it was creepy (like imagine if he and amanda were close and then she died…it’d be weird to see her like that), we don’t know if amanda CAN deviate like the androids…she’s living this half life potentially stuck in some garden and just doing what her program says like everybody else. but even though machines get all the sympathy in this game i very rarely ever see people stop and go “dude, is she ok…is someone controlling her can we help her” - amanda’s a lot like connor, she’s hunting down deviants but she’s not a human and she’s not alive yet so who’s pulling her strings?? can they be cut??? 

JOSH:

i’ll be honest i haven’t figured out what Angle i like best for josh the way i’ve got one for luther and north but he has such strong convictions i feel like they would have to stem from some past experience. everybody’s always arguing about simon vs north that nobody stops to give josh the attention he deserves…he’s part of the fantastic 4 too!! who is josh? what does he want? what is he afraid of? does he refuse to be violent for reasons like luther - did he hurt someone, deliberately or accidentally? (to a lesser extent, a pacifist markus who shoved leo can also follow this pattern - he gave into violence and thought he’d killed carl’s son, so he swore to do no more violence after that.) or: did he see someone else get hurt/get hurt himself? i know the backstory they give him in the gallery but tbh it’s very similar and not stand-out from most of the rest of the stuff we hear…

like, what made josh deviate? we literally never find out. i think it would be interesting tho if instead of just being the victim of violence, he was ordered to DO violence, and refused - maybe that’s why he got hurt. but i think his relationship WITH violence could be a complex thing for anyone who wanted to tackle it. we know why north prefers violence, why does josh detest it? (similarly, why does simon prefer safety over either approach? - but fandom gives him a lot of love and attention and tries to explain this, and nobody tries to explain it for josh.)

KARA & ALICE:

like…to a small extent…i know they’re main characters but i could write an essay just on why they didn’t get a fair shake either - constant victims of assault, little depth, kara got to choose what happened to her but not what kind of person she was gonna be like markus & connor, significantly less playtime than markus & connor, had NO influence on the big macro plot like markus & connor, i could go on…but definitely the worst for me is that everything about kara that made us love her (from the short), was ERASED - david took her memories and never made the slightest move towards kara wanting them back, or her being able to get them back. she’s six years old and he took all of her history from her, all of her agency!! i feel like translated into fic they can both become very flat - all kara cares about is protecting alice, and alice is constantly scared or hurt or needing to be taken care of, like a baby doll. granted that’s not actually far from the game’s canon, but it could have been MORE. kara had six entire years of experiences before she met alice - what makes alice special? who is kara without alice? 

i really wish we had been able to take a personality route with kara - her main superpower seems to be empathy and getting people on her side (ralph, jerrys, zlatko’s creatures), but she can also wave around a gun at anybody who gets near her baby. it would have been really interesting to explore two sides of that - to have a kara who is 1000% Done and ready for wholesale murder if it means surviving vs having a kara who can bring out the best in anyone, even if they seem like bad people at first. (imagine the influence you could have over alice - she would learn to be wary of strangers or be warm to them.) but instead the narrative is wishy-washy; you can’t teach alice anything, and in fact she serves as kara’s moral compass instead of the other way around - you wind up doing things like comforting the guy who broke kara multiple times and waving a gun at ralph (who like, shouldn’t have done that, but also isn’t 100% in control of his own facualities all the time). it would have been really interesting to see kara be able to influence her own fate more as well - the camp sections are shitty and should not exist but like maybe a kara who had spent the whole game yelling at everyone with a gun would have the ability unlocked to then rally the people inside, and who cared what connor and markus were doing, you know? 

but david doesn’t know how to write women so that’s not what we got - kara carried that entire franchise into reality and he totally screwed her over!!

TL;DR

luther was forced to do terrible things and that could explain a lot of his behavior if anybody cared, nobody ever wonders if amanda is being forced to obey programming like the rest of the machines or if she’s ok, josh’s relationship with violence could be very complex and we don’t know his motivation for refusing to participate in it the way we know north’s for preferring it, and david can’t write women so he shafted kara so fucking bad and it is an honest to god shame

(dbh meta tag)

[koohiss]

30 years since the last critically acclaimed movie, but only like, 50 or 10 since the last one, depending on how time works, skywalkers are fucking shit up in the galaxy once more...

Luke’s gone, Leia’s still a badass, the heavy metal empire has been replaced with the emo-lite first order, just as much nazi garbage and none of the impressive capes. Instead they have a giant toddler who stomps around and eats shit on a regular basis and jerks off to his grandpa’s dead face, probably. Fucking weeb. This pilot, Poe, who I honestly don’t feel much of a connection to, sorry, is trying to get this old man to give him a map to Luke so he can come kick ass. But the douchelord Kellog’s Frosted Fuckup shows up and shoots everyone, bc uncle issues or something. poe gets captured, but shoves the map into his magic 8 ball, which escapes and finds a random superhuman jedi lady of amazingly ironic ancestry in the middle of, you guessed it, a desert. She’s Rey, and to quote some ghost guy who once got gutted inside a palace’s weird power dungeon murder hole, she’s probably maybe might be the chosen one for real this time, I swear to the force it’s for real this time yoda. Then, this amazeballs stormtrooper, Finn, has morals and courage and heart and all the things they wanted in wizard of oz, and is like, fuck this nazi shit, I’m out, and helps poe escape. Sadly, they crash, and poe apparently dies but really leaves finn to die in a plothole of a scene that someone in the writers room should be really embarassed over. Finn meets rey, and it’s love at first “oh shit”. It’s all meet cute/meet thief for a second, and then shit starts blowing up sideways, there was hand holding and running and “follow me”s and then the girl in white and the guy with the leather jacket get on the falcon and leave the desert planet. Classic. Speaking of classic, being the collector’s machinery that she is, the falcon breaks down and they get caught in a tractor beam of a larger ship, which conveniently Han and Chewie are on. Two gangs show up, the giant squid-tribbles escape, scooby doo mayhem ensues. They get away in the falcon and nope the fuck out. Spooky the gollum wannabe teases Kyle about Han and he acts like a pissbaby, says it’s nothing. Oh, and I guess he surprises everyone because somehow this giant moronic imbecile incompetent failure came from the pure glorious happy love of han and leia. Fuck you jar jar abrams. Fuck you in the eye. With a lensflare. This bullshit. The gang checks the map and realize it’s borked, Han gives the lowdown on “it’s real” and also that some sick asswipe death-murdered the jedi like some moron trilby with anger management issues because his mom cancelled his xbox live account because he wasn’t getting good enough grades at jedi academy due to playing the sith campaign of some shitty remade SW game with a pretty decent plot that every teen boy over analyzes and gets the wrong take away from. Anyways, they go to Takodana and Maz’s epic castle that was never fully explained. For some reason they need her to find the resistance for them, which I’m like, just have Han wave at a holocam for like, 2 seconds and you will find literally almost everyone except luke because he’s pouting over history repeating itself. So naturally while they are all chilling at the castle, the party splits bc Finn is scared and Rey is gonna go home and Han is just like, eyes roll emoji. Who knows where chewie went, they act like he isn’t a character or something. But twist, the big ol space nazis find them. Rey finds a lightsaber (prolly just a family heirloom or smth, nbd) and bolts after having visions of all these epics ass movies and shit. My beloved young padawan super duper force sensitive jedi in training Finn is given the lightsaber, bc even Maz can tell that those two are always gonna watch out for each other and are obvs soulmates and he’s the best bet to get it to Rey, the inheriting granddaughter. (also, didn’t a bunch of little kids get murdered with that at least once, possibly twice???) As they leave, death star 3 and with a much lamer name but really cool lore blows the everloving shit out of coruscant 2.0, killing a few more characters that I was probably more interested in than Kyle’s boring weepy “my parents dont’ accept me for being an edgelord” lame ass backstory. Then the TIE fighters try to wreck my fave dudes with some weak sauce army, but then that same ace pilot who apparently left finn to fucking die, nbd, true love amirite? brings the party to them in an epic callback with improved graphics. Meanwhile, that boring infant Ronald mcdumbass over here shows up and after a let down of a fight (c’mon rey, shoot him!) kidnaps his cousin. Gets all creepy and makes teenagers with poor romance comprehension (not their fault, imo) think it’s love and come up with all this bullshit as to why they aren’t cousins. Sigh. But Rey, light of my life, is stronger than this woobie weeb, and she makes him have to run back to the safety of his darth vader body pillow, while she up and obi wans her way out of this bitch. The theme-swapped leto-joker looking vastly subpar offbrand trashcan may have padme’s hair, but rey has her climb up random shit abilities, which go a lot farther honestly. (they both have her hit and miss fashion taste so at least there’s that in common you goddamned r/los that’s all i will give you) Mr. Hotshot takes everyone back to Resistance HQ and conveniently brings the drama too, since he followed teeny!leias footsteps and lead a superweapon to the not-so-secret-anymore base. Everyone scrambles, finn kinda sorta maybe lies through his teeth a little so he can rescue rey, leia guilts han because apparently no (coughdudecough) director can write a conflicted and damaged woman who also happens to be strong without making her completely subsume to whichever half of the dichotomy is needed for the current scene… They go to death star 3 and prepare to fuck shit up. Specifically by doing things that have never been done before with no guarantee they will survive and sassing each other mercilessly. My babies. They find rey off being her badass self, and then right at the point where everything has to go to shit to make the third act interesting, some motherfucking emo up and kills my geriatric fave. Fuck you, marilyn manson. Fuck you. Chewie takes the logical next step and blows his fucking guts out with a laser crossbow bolt, AND blows the fucking guts out of his fanboy cosplay of the death star, because fuck you that’s why. So that’s how the dramatic “ur up past curfew” conversation goes, because I can never have nice things, no the precious goth boy has to live, apparently my needs aren’t important to multi-trillion dollar entertainment corporations, whatever. The absolute wrench fucker chases my beautiful darlings around the currently imploding fucking doom orb of stupid, and they waste his ass with amazing shows of jedi prowess. Finn fights him first and the bastard cheats with his fucking laser butterfly knife like an ass, and precious finn who has never trained a day in his life for this bullshit can only hold on so long before the cheating bastard takes him down. Then rey, pillar of light and all that is good, curbstomps his ass with the prowling predator walk of her father and grandfather before her. Suck it, ron. She’s the chosen one, bitch. Anyways, so I guess the bombs let fly boy (only) get inside and pew pew up the place enough that it rejoined it’s godforsaken stop-building-death-moons-they-don-t-work ancestors. Old ghastly jazzhands on the demon projector asks the weasley kid to go pick up kyle’s raggedy strung out ass, like I fucking care at this point. Everybody goes home (AKA chewie saves all of your asses because even if you ignore him he’s still a cool dude like that) and they totally gloss over the deaths of characters I care about to give us this arbitrary fucking scene of the golden cock block and ir3cutesty5u the soccerball annoying r2, who magically wakes up and magically doesn’t nuke their inferior asses and instead gives them the stupid fucking map, why do you even need a fucking map, all you need is coordinates, jesus christ it’s space, you can just plug the fucking three axis code into the computer and float ur ass over why is there a goddamn treasure map to safeway just use the damn gps good god. It’s space. With infinite wifi. Rey and chewie go to this bird shit covered island and find luke sulking, probably about getting bird shit on his suede jedi boots or losing his best friend and failing his nephew and sister and and the entire galaxy or something like that and then the movie ends