#no no im just thinking about changing my ART degree to a SCIENCE degree

[rhys-is-puffs]

I don't want to drop my current degree and change to a completely different field thus increasing my time in university to at least another year, but the PARASITES

[1eos]

hi miss kendra, i need some advice if you don't mind. your new job journey has inspired me to quit the fuckass job i'm sick of but the audhd hates to think of change, and i don't know if i should just go for a masters instead to jump up a level in the job market. or, would you suggest joining the girls in stem with a python course? i hate to see my degree (business) go to waste and have been avoiding smth in software bc of that but if the jobs are good i might have to bc i can NOT stay here any longer w no progression money wise.

i dont mind at all <3 the main reason why i will never leave tumblr is that if you curate it right this can really become a support group for audhd adults and we all help each other survive this sick ass world. bc wow that audhd response to change is sooooo hard to deal with in the workplace which sucks bc in this current climate changing jobs frequently kinda is the wave rn

but anyways advice. obvs i can't know exactly what's best for you but i will throw some questions that helped me figure out where to narrow my focus!

1st. to answer the question is i would suggest joining the girls in stem. absolutely! but don't limit your focus to a python course. the main reason i didnt get into stem earlier was that i didn't realize there were sooooo many different niches of stem and thought that just bc i didnt necessarily want to do 0s and 1s exclusively it wasn't for me but now taking different classes im seeing its a lot of different things i could excel in. like i went in doing web design and realized while i don't enjoy that the way i expected it introduced me to networking, cybersecurity, and data science which i AM interested in. so if you're interested but java gives you the ick (valid) def start poking around free resources first before committing. i investigated some reddit threads and found online it training things that i did and ofc there are a bunch of books too

currently ive subscribed to tryhackme. of all of the hands on training courses its one of the cheapest at $14 a month and its walking me through all the different areas of networking and cybersecurity and its been helpful in getting my feet wet so i can pinpoint what fields im genuinely interested in. currently, im focused on trying to find a field where im truly 100% interested in digging in bc for me ive found caring abt my field gives me excitement that takes the edge off of the ego death change puts me through 😭😭😭😭

i say all that first bc a masters will be a GREAT boon to level up your income esp if you want to work for any kind of university which i would recommend as a good starting place bc the benefits tend to be really good and colleges are relatively more chill workplaces. however, depending on which field you go in just know that a lot of jobs will take the official certifications and your bachelors. and certifications are way cheaper than masters degrees so keep that in mind. especially if you get a certification, get employed in the stem field and then you may have the chance of your employer helping pay for your masters

ofc if you can afford to get your masters now you could go the other direction and start school now and use your school's connections to get student work/part time work in your field and then your odds of being hired in a permanent position after graduating goes up by 300000000000%

and i would suggest sitting down and making a list of everything you hate about your current job and what, ideally, you want for not your dream job but like...the job that could bring you the most content you know? if you're not living to work, picture what you want to do and how your job can help facilitate that without getting in the way.

so like for me my goal is to be able to do the art i want to do without having to worry about starving to death and have as much time to focus on art. bc that's my goal i realized i wanted a job that:

in a stable field where i could potentially get a job anywhere

pays well and consistently

remote work possible

flexible schedule so that i could work less than 5 days a week

clear upward trajectory

not centered around customer service 😭

relatively low stress and doesnt need crazy hours

so with this listed out i realized i didn't actually want my main job to be in the art field bc of the inconsistency and that stem could work for me and then from there anytime i find a new job that i think i could do i investigate it and check to see if the field is shrinking, education requirements, etc etc.

this is a lot but i hope at least one of these thoughts helps you! 💖

[tinylittlecubby]

In the following possibly concerning for my psychiatric health rant , I will be covering what the actual definition of parasocial is, the function and normalness of regular parasociality, why some mediums invite stans more than others and what would need to change to eradicate stan culture. Im unfortunately just someone with an internet connection and im writing this on mobile so if any degree of understanding in regards to those facts can be maintained I would be very grateful!

1) i would rather do a flip off the bellagio instead of meet any of the people who's art/content I consume I just want to say that first

1b) however I have participated in fandom since I was literally 7 years old so I know way too much about fandoms in general and also parasociality.

2)the partition between social worlds is an illusion. If it happens in one place it happens in another. People putting artists on a pedestal and then tearing them down is something that also happens in arenas outside of popular culture like the sciences and in peoples very own homes. Uniqueness of circumstance is rare and the breadth of human capability in terms of horror and beauty is present no matter the field.

3) Parasocial relationships have an actual psychological function (more on this later) Because of the term 'relationship' and the cultural baggage around that term it is assumed that it is something that is purely done outside of the bounds of the time it takes to consume the media. Even the term caring is loaded more than it should.

Art and media should push us to care and ultimately, a parasocial relationship is JUST caring about a subject ( like a person or object or idea) BUT they/it LITERALLY can not care about you back due to lack of knowing SPECIFICALLY you.

Off of that definition that is why in order for media to be effective a parasocial relationship has to exsist. It makes sense to care about one character over another depending on how a film is written, and this state/relationship of caring last the duration of the film.

That feeling of caring about the character can persist beyond the literal duration of the film due to how emotionally moving it could've been however I find that for films most people do not continue that state beyond the literal duration of the film (in terms of fantasies about the character as I dont find that there are many fanfictions for example about movies -unless they have been made into TV shows as well- etc), due to it being one of the shorter mediums today both in the media itself and the promotion cycle/exposure to the people involved, which is why I picked movies.

I want to make that distinction cause people often say we need to eradicate parasocial relationships altogether and I dont think they understand that parasocial is a sociological term that was coined in 1956/57 and has an extremely long history OUTSIDE of social media. And if the term was coined then that means the phenomenon was going on prior.

Also, films are fake. Literally everyone knows this, no one gets mad at anyone for saying that cause we all know this. However films, when the term was coined, were seen as THE medium that facilitated parasocial relationships (in the sense i described above in terms of the duration of the film, rather than the sense that is used now in terms of being a stan)

And about movies being fake and maybe that being why people stan actors less (sometimes def not all the time)

A) the amount of films and TV shows that try and use this narrative to go far beyond actors zone of consent ìs one of THE main problems with the entertainment industry. They are real people doing fake things but they are still people first.

B) i personally believe that it is in a streamers best interest to create a degree of a character to be on stream (can be a genuine persona or just to the degree of customer service agent. Aint nobody their god damn selves when being a customer service agent but they also aren't not being themselves. If you know you know.) So they too are in an arena of fakeness as well. This lack of understanding is why they constantly have to tell their audience "bro i don't know you AND you don't know me"

4a)and in regards to the statement that I made in terms of parasocial relationships having to exsist, I'm saying that with finances/politics/sociology in mind. There is a business theory in the arts that if you have 1000 true fans (defined as someone that will buy ALL of your merch, concert tickets,will listen to 90% of your music and genuinely enjoy, talk about the music to their friends to get them to like it as well etc etc) you can make your art on your own terms and consistently from a financial stand point. However, that kind of consumer is the exact type that participates in the parasocial relationship outside the duration of the medium and can take them to stan town. And record labels know this, that is why pop music lyrics are the way they are and even when they aren't romance oriented they still market the artist to be as 'authentic' as possible so the development of the parasocial relationship can continue outside the literal duration.

4b) in terms of the psychological function of parasociakity I would read into how children develop relationships with their toys. During active play it is developmentally normal for the child to act as if the toy can react back to the child's own affect/actions, that's why children will talk to or feed etc their toys. Outside of active play sometimes the child will mention the toy (usually in terms of requesting for it to begin active play OR talking about it like they are a friend and saying to a parent "do you think Bella would like this dress?" And the parent knows they are talking about the toy and would respond in kind and maybe they buy the little dress to dress up the toy (think of build a bears model of the type of inventory they sell) it is also common that if they are playing with a sibling or a friend and the other child is being rough with the toy the main child will use language such as "you are hurting them!" suggesting the child believe that the toy can feel literal pain the same way they can (because they are a literal child duh)

A child being able to show the capacity to communicate, empathize, emote and respond to stimuli the object may provide back (like if its a talking to) is absolutely MAJOR and is used in clinical studies during neurological testing in children literally all the time. And if you as an adult were to go up to a child and start berating them for this dynamic pal....you yourself got problems.

This is one of the many types of ways that children learn how to socialize and it happens concurrently with other types of learning in terms of interacting with peers, adults that may use language they dont know but helps them build they own language tool kit etc etc. It is absolutely NOT to be seen as the ONLY type of socializing. That is horrifying and I dont know what the hell would happen if it was literally the only type of socializing a child or even an adult would be receiving (also I dont know how that would literally happen either like do they live in the woods with literally no one else around??)

I say all of this to say that parasociality should NOT be demonized because doing so would be inconsistent with the overall cultural narrative about being social animals. If we are social animals then it makes sense that parasocialism exists. UNHEALTHY!!!!!!!!!!!!! parasocialism ABSOLUTELY needs to be extinguished i am not fighting anyone on that at all. Being a legit stan is VERY VERY SCARY! and I dont mean arguing about charting stan I mean hacking airport security cameras stan (if you know you know unfortunately)

My personal hesitation in terms of putting hope into this changing though is we would need to do the following

Reduce the social capital tied to perceived authenticity

Remove profit motives tied to artists being accessible

Eradicate amanormativity

Build safe,accessible and thriving third spaces

Invest in psychiatric infrastructure and resources

Create a healthy culture that supports the notion that individuality and interdependence can exsist at the same time

Eradicate misogyny

Eradicate ageism

Eradicate racism

Eradicate classism

Eradicate ableism

Eradicate whorephobia (BIG ONE!! the amount of female/non binary stans that are wild about their targets because they feel like its the only safe place they can express their sexuality via fanfiction, fan erotic audios (which is new and the audio stuff i dont know too much about but its something I'm seeing more and more)amongst other things is a proportion that is tooooooo high!

And the list goes on and on and on honestly

(Added this poll on accident because I'm on mobile and it won't erase oooppss)

I dont know if any of this made sense I feel like I just blacked out and I'm coming to but yeah yell at me if you like or ignore this its just my thoughts about parasociality and the like okay byyeeeeee

[juusasu4evagrrl]

I’M BACK BITCHES ANDDD I BRING GIFTS!

I originally began writing down this AU last year with plans to send it as an anonymous ask to justsasuke, my all time favorite blog on here, much love to the pioneer of the juusasu ship. But it just got wayyy too long for all that so fingers crossed she sees it anyways. 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽 (unless you hate it and then nvm you saw nothing)

So basically while lying awake at like 11:55 last night my brain went, I bet Juugo would be good at basketball since he’s like so tall, and out of that thought this sexy ass college AU was born.

Okay lets set the scene

Our au starts freshman year at whatever college in whatever big city now lets talk majors and aspirations

Juugo gets in on a basketball scholarship but while he’s good and he kind of enjoys it, he’s not a baller like it’s not life to him. what he’s really pursuing is environmental sciences so he can become like a zoologist or a wildlife biologist or something like that and immerse himself in his true passions. Also he’s like a year or so older. Still a freshmen, just sticking with canon on this one cause it always made sense to me.

Sasuke is studying whatever the fuck he thinks will get him familial brownie points. The thing is he has NO CLUE what he actually wants to study or do. If he was true to himself he’d have taken a gap year to live a little. BUT big bro graduated high school like 2 years early, absolutely demolished running start, and got like three full rides to schools that brought a tear to fugakus eye. So his natural competitive streak and his desire to be seen as capable by Fugagku, coalesce into Sasuke just trying to follow in those footsteps. Now i wont say he’s failing but 1, he don’t even really wanna be there right now and 2, academics are just not his thing. Which sucks cause he doesn’t cope well with being bad at things. If it wasn’t for the super dope and driven friends he’s about to make school life would destroy his mental health, and he’d probably be directionless forever. Im not saying he’s dumb cause i don’t think that. Just that he’s really struggling to apply himself here.

Karin is there cause her creepy rich uncle Orochimaru said he’d pay for her college if she graduated high school, and only with a perfect 4.0 mind you. Our girls a double major. One in business and one in some type of chemistry so that after college she can attend a perfume school become a perfumer and start her own perfume empire the absolute girlboss. Shes the only one who knows exactly what they want to do from the jump. How she balances all this? We can only imagine but it is karin after all, and if anyones doing it it’s her. A woman’s resolve can break through steel after all. 😤

My fave, Suigetsu is also there I’m wracking my brain trying to figure out how it might just have to be a plot hole I FIGURED IT OUT! Orochimaru is his dad hes our nepo baby. (So i guess that makes karin his hardworking cousin the Selena to his Haley if you will) ANYWAYS he’s studying marine engineering cause I guess I’m running out of ideas just shhh if you think really hard about it it kinda makes sense. Ok new thought. He changes his major halfway through to a martial arts studies degree, (this is important cause sasuke is gonna end up here too) with a minor in some sort of nutritionist something. He’s is gonna be a personal trainer i guess and to me, that makes sense. Also my aquarius brother lives and breaths the very mid nightlife at this school.

Scene set

Karin and Sasuke meet first and hit it off in so far as Karin is concerned. Sasuke however is there to get the degree and get out. He don’t want no friends, he didn’t even like the ones he had in high school. Eventually though he learns to tolerate her cause he’s moved seats like 5 times now and she’s found him

every

single

time.

Once past Sasukes initial resistance, they genuinely hit it off pretty quick. They’re both pretty introverted for college students so they have a lot of time to spend together. Sasuke is introverted cause he just is, but karin would be a party girl if she wasn’t so busy. They meet up for lunch and study sessions frequently. Sasuke enjoys the silence in these low key hang outs. Karin enjoys staring at sasuke during breaks in her working and acting ditsy when helping him with whatever he’s working on to make him do that cute little self gratified smirk and to hear his voice turn from quiet and disinterested to proud and engaged when explaining to her how shes wrong. Yes karin still has a crush on sasuke we all do moving on.

Juugo and suigetsu meet next. Kind of, they’re roommates so honestly they met first but whatever. Juugo wanted a single and after meeting Juugo so did Suigetsu. They get on okay but jugo lost interest in building a friendship with Suigestu after coming to find marine engineering ain’t got shit to do with marine biology, and suigestu mostly is just scared of Juugo. help me decide which one is the messy roommate that makes the other one consider requesting a new dorm everyday. (nvm its Juugo he happily lived in cave like duh) Anyway they don’t really start to get along until sasuke comes in the picture. (yes they all bond over their mutual desires to fuck sasuke its very canon compliant in that way)

Sasuke and suigetsu meet next at a party Karin coerced Sasuke into going to with her. At some point Karin fucks off with the girl she went to the party for in the first place, (who is Tayuya of sound5 fame btw) and Sasuke is left alone in the corner to stew in his feelings of betrayal. He didnt want to go in the first place and he only went to sit in the corner with Karin and make fun of peoples stupid try hard attitudes and inability to hold their stupid alcohol. People do try and talk to him but he successfully wards them off with his one word answers and an overall stank demeanor. Until suigetsu finds him and swears to himself that this is the sexiest man he has ever seen, he’s getting into those adidas track pants no matter what, and wow this boy can not dress. Sasukes one word answers and side eyes fall on deaf ears and hungry eyes. Suigetsu has effectively glued himself to Sasukes side and there is nothing Sasuke can do to stand it but keep knocking back the jungle juice. He cant tell which is worse the stupid alcohol or the endlessly talkative twink who keeps dodging his exasperated sighs. He has never enjoyed being talked at, and hes never overindulged in alcohol either (is this realistic I don’t know it sure is fun to imagine 14 year old team7 stealing a little something something someone and getting wasted for the first time together actually yeah lets say that happens but it happens in Sasukes bedroom Fugaku finds out and puts the fear of god in him and then he gets it again from Itachi who is probably who the stuff was stolen from and he learned his lesson didn’t touch booze again until just now) but every time suigetsu speaks he drinks and the night is getting fuzzier and fuzzier. He is a mellow and petulant drunk and one word responses turn into slightly wordier quips and mildly depressing personal anecdotes. Its right about now that Suigetsu is sure this here man is his future husband cause he was giving personalityless but worth a hookup before but now the personality is showing little and Suigetsus loving every slurred moment of it. The only problem is that Sasuke is drunk like drunk drunk he obviously wasnt feeling Suigetsu before and even if he is now (he’s not) there is absolutely zero chance of hooking up with this pretty faced little emo tonight. (pretty faced emo girl stop) So at this point Suigetsus only worries are A.) How am I gonna insure this boy remembers who I am tomorrow? B.) And this is been on his mind since the beginning of the night, how did this literal wet blanket of a man get here and why, like who is even is he? Finally C.) How am I getting outta all this without getting these 600 dollar McQueen sneaks vomited on.

The future husband thing was cute or whatever but Suigetsu must be really smitten to be standing in whoever’s truly nasty bathroom this is cleaning bright red pungent puke off his once shining white sneakers. Sasuke is currently slumped near the toilet staring judgmentally at suigetsus pinkish shoes and mumbling mostly unintelligibly about vanity and precious solitude. Suigetsu thinks the gist of it is probably something to the effect of leave me alone next time and I won’t projectile on your designer but really who is to say. Definitely not Sasuke, Sasuke still can’t (or won’t its difficult to tell with this one) even answer simple questions like what he’s doing here or who he’s here with. It wouldn’t even matter if he could cause karin has been gone for a minute now. Lets not blame her either cause she expected he’d leave 5 minutes after she and Tayuya did and she did text. The worst she’d expected to deal with would be some strongly worded replies or an especially quiet study sesh. Its decided Sasuke is coming back to the shared dorm room barring C all problems are accounted for with the solution.

Woooo that scene was long but its okay cause were meeting Juugo next and getting some would be romantic tension if i knew how to write romantic tension also taka is almost assembled yuhhh!! Prepare for some very poorly paraphrased dialog in apostrophes.

Suigetsu is oddly insistent on walking Sasuke back to his dorm so he’s just a little confused when instead of showing up in quiet lifeless single he enters chaotic double that smells so strongly of febreze and cannabis he can immediately feel an oh my god just open the damn window induced headache coming on. Still feeling woozy and uncharacteristically social from the booze, he’s about to ask whats his name in the mugler turtleneck (the stars on the turtleneck were more engaging to sasuke then anything else going on duh suigetsus gonna name drop the designer yes this is what he remembers lol it don’t make sense IK but its my mission to make Suigetsu as swaged out as is possibly possible) about the window when the door to the dorm busts open and in walks Juugo angry as hell on some

‘Why did you text me about some boy staying over i already said you can not have hookups in here if you wanna slut yourself out to this school your gonna have to get creative cause the boundaries of this dorm situation were set and agreed upon day one this is my sanctuary and smoke spot not your sex dungeon rah rah rah rah’

Its occurring very slowly to Sasuke that he may have gotten himself into an unsavory situation but before he can say anything suigetsu says it for him.

‘oh my god he’s I’m not sleeping with him’

just barely biting back a not tonight at least he continues

‘i met him at Jirobo’s (I’m having so much fun adding in random sound5 characters Kimimaro is still dead tho rip 😔) kickback he wasnt vibing and I cant blame him shit was so dry so since he was drunk off his ass anyways and couldn’t give me any contacts I brought him here to sleep it off so he’ll wake up tomorrow and see me as his savior and then i son’t know we’ll go from there don’t hate cause you cant pull 10s like me Juugo’

Juugo is not hating, he would be cause suigetsu sounds objectively dumb right now, but he just noticed Sasuke. True to cannon his demeanor changes instantly from ready to tussle to totally transfixed as his full attention is focused on staring at a still slightly intoxicated Uchiha Sasuke.

Sasuke has noticed, and is 35% focused on staring back at Juugo who looks like a character out of the real manga and sauke is very appreciative of it, and 65% trying to process what the fuck suigetsu just said. Weather his delay is because of the booze or the baller is, unclear to him. So now its just three dudes in a dirty ass dorm room staring at each other. (😏) Sasuke breaks both the eye contact with Juugo and the silence directing a

‘you did not pull me dumbass you kidnapped me and theres no way im staying here tonight don’t even worry about it Juugo’

straight to Suigetsu.

Suigetsu is so over it by now and he adds up the ruined McQueens plus sasukes continued disinterest to equal a disappointing L and having cast off his soiled kicks he flops down onto his milky white satin sheets back to the room disengaged.

Juugo however could, not be any more the opposite not only does he find sasuke quite nice to look at and would be disappointed to see him go without getting a little social repertoire established. He’s so incredibly shocked that sasuke is still standing upright and albeit slowly engaging with the world around him. He’s pretty sure if he lets him leave he’ll find him passed out on the lobby floor tomorrow morning, so after another minute or so of fondly watching sasuke fumble with the zipper of his plain black jacket he offers a tentative

‘you know what I really don’t care you can stay here tonight its already so late just, yeah just stay.’

���Yeah you can just like curl up in the mountain of unwashed basketball shorts they smell so amazing’

Suigetsu chimes in sarcastically

‘okay okay and how do you know they smell so bad freak’

juugo shoots back (basketball pun haha)

‘cause i can smell you from here you cretin’

Sasuke stumbles past the bickering and heads for the door completely uninterested in this petty roommate dispute he briefly wonders what happened to his adidas slide while he grabs at his pockets for a minute searching for his phone to call Karin before joining the dispute with a,

‘oh my god dumbass you made me leave my phone in that wasteland bathroom dickhead Im not going back there so either your gonna buy me a new Samsung or-‘

suigetsu cuts him off,

‘you are the absolute worst kind of drunk actually I have your phone right here dummy’

he pulls the phone out of the pocket of his dolce&gabbana cargos (yeah when i said orochimarus rich I meant rich rich designer head to toe the sheets are probably designer bitch) and throws it directly at sasuke

juugo takes this moment to display his sickening basketball skills and intercepts the throw holding the phone above his head he says,

‘look man just stay okay you can have my bed i’ll sleep on the laundry im keeping this right now but you can call your friend in the morning I’m not busy til late tomorrow so i’ll help you find your way out of here if you need to get to a class but your already here so you might as well just stay’

Sasuke doesn’t feel all that much like walking anyways so he turns to juugos sheetless mattress and then to Suigetsu and says

‘give me your bed you bastard you owe me anyways’

suigetsu is not entirely sure why he would owe this bitch anything at all but he takes the opportunity to shoot his final shot,

‘how bout we share’

Sasuke decides to sleep on top of Juugos worse for wear comforter.

Sasuke, having stolen his phone from Juugo on some mission impossible shit, leaves before anybody else wakes up with no intention of ever returning. but since Karin and Tayuya hit it off actually his only friend has less time to spend with him. So he decides to link up with suigetsu and juugo since they’re the only other people he’s said more then 5 words to. Eventually they get tapped into the study seshes when suigetsu essentially invites himself to join much to karins chagrin.

Boom taka assembled.

Alrigttt thats all I wrote. I wanna write more about this au like where everyone comes from and how the relationships proceed from here and the whole thing is supposed to be a juusasu get together moment and we barely even touched on that but we’ll see if i ever get around to that.

Disclaimers: i dont know anything about basketball and i still haven’t gotten my ged so I have not been to college YET 🤪 on the bright side when i do get there ill probably be 21 already and ppl will flock to me for my id privileges 😌 i tried to make this as legible as i possibly could going through, adding punctuation, and removing some of my rambling. But i also left a lot of it in though like the crossed out text, the crazy parentheses notes (which i hope are not too confusing), and all the emojis, and i chose this just so you can really see the way the story just came together randomly and how much fun i was having writing this clusterfuck of shitty college movie cliches.

[kavehpilled]

WAITTTT sorry but now im curious,, what degree would you like to get if you do go to college ?? :) DONT FEEL PRESSURED TO THINK TOO MUCH ABOUT IT THO !!

i think something in art would make me happiest!!! i like science but id never make a career out of it. and im shit at math. english doesnt make sense and i really couldnt be a teacher and im not a very good engineer. so that just leaves the thjng im passionate about!!! lol. ive never actually thought about anything But art tho. like all the classes that arent academics are filled with art classes on my schedule. and id probably go into some kind of art degree if i ever go to college. its not Too appealing because i hate school but honestly i think i might be alright and my perspective will change when the time comes. but i am Definitely not an academically smart person lol i am very creatively driven

[desultory-suggestions]

Heyy, idk how to say this but im gonna try putting it in words, i took two gap years for giving an exam and now i won't make it, i can't find the right option to choose what to study and everytime i think about studying for a certain course, i get bombed with what if i hate the job that comes with and im scared. Do you have any advice for me? Ive been clueless thinking about everything and its just idk what to do

Hello, darling. This is a very common fear. It’s always been so frustrating to me that we’re expected to not only choose one thing to turn into a career, but do so at such a young age. So many people choose something and burn out because of this. However, it doesn’t have to be that way. I think taking those gaps was a great idea, you deserve all the time you need to explore and rest from academics. Here are a few centering questions and points I think may help.

Do you want to go to college? Do you feel like you should/have to or do you want to but feel worried?

Many people feel college is the only way. While there are fair concerns about starting a career with no degree, many forms of work don’t need one. A good example is trade work, which is often hands on learning. These are worthy pursuits! Additionally, if you want to pursue something such as art but feel no need for a classical education, maybe finding a job that lets you do that is better.

What are your top five passions?

They don’t need to make sense for university or a career. Say they’re bread, crayons, Russian literature, snails, and gaming. Those are all tangible things! Make a list and then think about what makes you so happy about them. What’s the common ground? How can you make these your study?

Have you considered not choosing one thing yet? Or at all?

Many universities and colleges offer unique opportunities in two ways. One is to be undeclared as a major. At my university and others they place you in University Division, where instead of starting right away on one topic, you explore any and all that interest you. Nursing? Sure! Painting? Yes! Finance? You bet! This was you can test what you like and don’t like. Secondly, many places now offer a whole degree that’s tailored by you for you. For example, my university has an office that will help you create a major. I know a student who’s studying music and neuroscience as one cohesive major.

Are you doing this for you?

So many people attend a university for their family or social standing. Please remember that this won’t be good for anyone, it will only burn you out.

What’s so bad about changing?

A consistent fear of students across the globe is “what if I change my mind?” It’s a valid fear, but not so scary as it sounds. A perfect example of this is in fact my brother. He got halfway through a BA in political science and well. He hated it. It wasn’t engaging the way he thought it would be, he didn’t enjoy his classes, and he was afraid of his future work. So what did he do? He went to his advisor, they talked and by gosh he changed his major. It delayed him a little while, but now he will graduate spring of 2023 with a degree in outdoor education and parks. Hold space for the fact that change is possible and ok. It will not be the end of the world. A woman I know for her PHD in economics and then became a minister. You won’t be the wildest story.

Quick Tips: Interview people with jobs you’ve considered. Literally just email and ask them! Most people will love to talk to you. Ask your professors as well, and chat consistently with them. Never underutilize your advisory office. They seriously know what to do. Take one class every semester that’s completely out of what you normally study, challenge your mind.

In the end no matter what happens it truly is okay. If you change your mind you do. But I know somewhere in your heart is a bright passion for something. You’ll find it, by typical methods or not. I’m here if you have any more questions! I love talking about academics and education. Also I have a good track record of helping people choose majors. Best of love and luck!

-Evan

[helsknight]

okay. okay. okay. ive never done one of these before but i want to so badly because i do think about this so here we go. @betweenlands helped me out with a couple (read: a bunch) of these and i'll mention where exactly ofc but huge shoutout to solar just in general for being an amazing creative waterspout for what feels like everything.

- scp hermitcraft au...been done before? maybe. nihil novi sub sole. but that won't stop me. i think the thing that makes them all Correlated is that everyone works in the same One building, stationed...somewhere. i'm not gonna give them numbers because i don't want them to be confused with ACTUAL scps, and even if i choose a currently unused number it will likely get filled in the future. so i'll just use names <3

im putting the rest of this under a cut bcause it got LONG AS FUCK lmao but please give it a read i'd appreciate it <333 i will. probably make art for this soon. its really been spinning my brain around

- cub, zedaph, and welsknight are all scientists in the facility, with varying degrees of Normal, but all are slightly..."Hm". zed is probably the most normal, but it's hard to tell where/if he got any sort of science degree. he gives off the vibe like someone hired him without doing a whole lot of background checks (see mr. fantastic from fallout new vegas), but he takes his research projects in STRIDE and he makes up for it with a lot of passion in his work.

- cub is definitely educated, and it feels like he's the only one actually running the place. that doesn't mean he sticks to the protocol very often, though! but it seems like he knows what is and isn't against the rules, unlike zed, even if he cares just as little about what rules he circumvents. he claims to be more of a chemist than a researcher, so he lets zed do what he wants. it's also incredibly obvious to any trained eye that he's not human (or at least not entirely), but when you're surrounded by anomalies of all kinds, it's easy to explain aging backwards once in a while.

- wels plays the scientist role the straightest out of the three, mostly because he knows what happens to people who break the rules at the foundation and he's a lot more cautious and a lot less reckless. still, he busies himself most with upkeep and containment procedures, as well as filework and other things. before he was a scientist at the current foundation location, he had a very. strange. accident with SCP-914. he was moved offsite after that to his current location, but (according to official sources) he's very panicked that he's been followed. sounds fine though lol

- doc USED to be a scientist. unfortunately, according to some records which have been expunged several times (and rewritten by a very angry doc equally as many times), he 'got into a fight with a god and lost his arm, eye, and several teeth--but still won!' it's unsure when his skin started to change colors, but he was contained shortly after that. he keeps reapplying to be a scientist, citing other researchers who are 'definitely worse than he is', but there's been no plea deal just yet.

- solar helped me nail this one down a lot more (bless u solar)! iskall and xisuma are currently taskforce--employed as guards on most cases, but are occasionally sent on duty to corral SCP escapees, as well as collect new ones! ren USED to be on taskforce, but something went terribly wrong in the field and he was bit by a "werewolf". it's pretty obvious it wasn't JUST a werewolf, but don't tell ren that. we'll come back to that later. he's contained and prevented from going out on the force 'for his own safety', mostly, but his cell is under complete lockdown on full moon nights. iskall's eye was clawed out in the same fight where ren got decommissioned, but other than that, theyre fine! their arm hurts sometimes, but they never got bitten, so that means they're in the clear, right?

- xisuma is a funny one. he actually joined the taskforce with his twin brother, ex--you couldn't usually tell them apart, so they tended to color-code their underarmor. however, ex messed up at some point--really, really bad--and was demoted to d-class. xisuma (and most of the facility, actually) was devastated, so they were given amnesiacs so they Wouldn't Remember :). ex went missing (presumed dead) after an experiment with a particularly volatile scp with the codename "midas' minion". however, if he WERE still alive, perhaps with a few new abilities and more than a little mind-controlled, he'd probably be pretty angry that everyone forgot about him. that would suck. xisuma still doesn't remember why he wears green most of the time--or, more accurately, why he never wears red.

- and FINALLY we can move on to the actual SCPS!! first up is everyone's favorite grian. he's a mimic scp, and visually looks like a mix between a harpy and an overgrown parrot. his anomaly is that he can perfectly imitate another creature's voice, completely indistinguishably--but, additionally, he can also say ANYTHING that the creature would say, regardless of whether HE knows or not. for example, he could easily start spouting foundation secrets he should NOT have access to if he wanted to. the foundation does not like him! <3 his only restriction is that he has to hear the person speak before he can properly mimic them--otherwise he'd only be guessing.

- next is the beloved cleo, paired alongside the very joe hills himself! solar suggested this one again and i absolutely loved it so. cleo is the "werewolf" that bit ren, but of course. werewolf is a loose term. she can transform into anything that has a contagious bite. werewolf, vampire, zombie, you name it and she's there. currently she's a zombie, because vampires are VERY last century, but when she was captured she's a werewolf. solar also mentioned that she would definitely transform into an angel at some point, which has hilarious (if worrying) implications. joe is kind of different! he's a thaumiel-class scp, sort of, but the foundation is working very hard to figure out what his deal even...is. all thats obvious is that, without one or the other in each others immediate vicinity, they're basically uncontainable. joe likes to write poetry in his cell, and cleo enjoys threatening joe while he writes poetry.

- next up is our goodtimeswithscar <3 he's...less containable than any of the other scps in the location, but just as frequent a character. his arrival is usually preceded by a grey-white tabby cat appearing as well, lounging on paperwork and activating doc's allergies from miles away. when he does show up, it's kind of odd--he acts like he's meant to be there, entering containment cells and talking to the SCPs or drinking tea in the break room. they've tried to contain him as well--arrest, secure, pretty much anything--but as soon as the tabby cat (which scar calls, oh-so-affectionately, 'jellie-cat') is gone, scar usually leaves within a day.

- finally, the last one i have thought up pretty much at all, is our dear wormman <3 he's a shapeshifter mimic whose mimicry is much more complete than grians--he can transform almost entirely into a replica of another person, including their memories. however, when he chooses a form, it usually sticks for...a really long while. currently, he's at-a-glance indistinguishable from zedaph. of course, if you put them next to each other, you could probably start to notice some differences...but maybe not which was which. he enjoys 'playing', because he's lived far too long for this containment thing to really bother him, and his current choice of game is pretending to be a very incredible and powerful superhero who's been detained by the evil masterminds. because of course! when he copied zedaph's memories, however, he actually got the slightly better deal out of it...because zedaph, if you'll recall, was given amnesiacs to deal with a certain problem. wormman escapes his containment far too often for it to be a coincidence, or just on his own, but he's usually corralled back in fairly quickly--he's not subtle or very good at escaping. the only person who's ever SEEN one of his escapes claims that someone who looked a lot like xisuma, except with longer, white hair, broke him out, but that's frankly illogical because the person who saw it WAS xisuma, so there's probably another shapeshifter on the loose, or wormman has a secret gaggle of friends.

that's. all i have for the moment, and actually i wrote a whole lot more than i thought i'd have LMAOJSDHKJF but! i'm definitely still brainstorming more hermits as scps so pls go ahead and ask me about these id love to talk abt this au. am certainly going to draw these things very soon, again thank you solar for helping me w some of this and also for listening to my rough pass of some ideas <333

[bisexualhobi]

Hi there!!

I’ve really needed to get this off my chest but I have had literally no where else to do so!! I’ve been following your blog for a while now and you’re so nice and respond in really interesting and intelligent ways!!

I hope it’s ok for me to rant a bit here and I’m sorry if it’s really long!! Feel free to ignore me too!!

Something that’s been bothering me for a while now is the likely situation where BTS were firstly made special envoys and will likely be exempted based on the fact that do “diplomatic work”.

I’m a politics and international relations major and it’s actually upsets me that they’re being given these opportunities and titles. I know how hard the rest of us are working and how fierce the competition is. We’re all trying to get into these roles and they just got it with no qualifications in the area and their philanthropy in my opinion is extremely limited.

When it was announced Armys hyped it so much saying that they’re diplomats now and they even showcased their passports in the Hybe museum.

I know it’s silly and petty but it actually upsets me hahaha. I mean we need a minimum of a masters degree, internships, volunteering and charity work to even be slightly competitive.

It sucks me that they could have said no (someone from the government said as much) and chose not to. Even if it’s more performative they’re still massively benefiting and again I don’t know but it feels sucky to me.

I’ve followed them for 7 years now and there’s just been so much that has led me to actively pushing them away now. I mean RM said let’s make small changes by using reusable cups and straws and they’re constantly using plastic cups and straws. They have all these fireworks in shows like the soop for what?? Their philanthropy just is so performative to me. Hybe using weverse to write an article about bts deserving a Grammy because they donated to BLM???? Wtf was that? The shit they wrote about MTS then collabed with her?? There’s just so much that is bothering me and it’s been building for years now. Maybe it really is time for me to let them go. I’m only 23 and it feels like they and army have aged me 100 years hahahah

Sorry for the rant!! Im actually sorry haha, I just needed a space to say this!!

hey! well thank you I'm glad you enjoy my blog and also, idk if you know this but I also majored in poli sci and IR. lmao so I get you.

my line of work is far from diplomatic or even public work but I get it and it's really frustrating and tbh I'm also 80% sure instead of a regular enlistment bts are gonna do "diplomatic work" for their service, whatever the fuck that means.

I think they're ill suited for diplomacy, even namjoon. they have what? majors in art and music? jin majored in acting. wtf is he gonna do about public policy? namjoon has a degree in engineering or am I tripping? anyway, not a single one of them has taken real classes about political sciences or even social development for fuck's sakes

[aries-writes-shit]

Hello hi uh i hope you are doing well and are staying safe and sanitized during this whole pandemic, um I hope the matchup is still up, if not my apologies uh ig I'll get started :) (platonic or romantic is fine by me, I dont mind either or cuz I honestlydont know what I want heh...ya..) My name is Dioceline (any pronoun is fine by me but people usually go with (she/they), my nickname is Dio or Small as most of my online friends call me. I have been told that I'm very impulsive and funny but im also emotional and I stand up for what I think is right and know when to be serious. I usually take the lead of things if no one else feels comfortable enough to deal with it which has landed me into some trouble in the past but id do it again for my friends because frankly I love and appreciate them and I make sure they know it by drawing them things they love or write poems about what I love about them and what I find beautiful about them every couple of weeks. Im not very big on socializing in person but I'm very bubbly and eager to meet people online (my socialbattery does brain pretty fast so I I ti take a quick nap or go on YT for a bit before I can go back to being stupid), I'm shy at first in person but the longer you get to know me I start to get annoying and very touchy feely cuz I'm ✨touch starved✨. Im 5'7 and a half and I like to flex that I'm taller than most of my family because its known that Mexicans/Hispanics are short asf. I am a Capricorn but I don't really feel connected to my sign so I'll give you my enneagram and my mbti! I'm an Infp-T and my ennegram is 2 wing 1. My music taste is all over the place at all times and I listen to anything as long as the lyrics speak to me or the instruments sound good asf (guitars are my favorite instrument, any type of instrument with strings speak to my soul) but I have been listening to a lot of old rock singers/bands recently like Queen, AC/DC, Hombres G, ABBA, Roger Taylor, Bon Jovi, and a lot of other singers/bands. Now since I've been the middle child of 5 other siblings before my little brother was born I have developed a strange humor, it's very mixed and changes a lot but I adapt and go with the flow of anything as long as it makes people happy and laugh. I usually flirt in very awkward ways like throwing horrid pickup lines at friends or pulling the fuckboy face while saying that they look like the snack that smiles back. It's a form of breaking the ice with a people after ive concluded that I want them in my life cuz idk why but I do so ya (in a platonic way ofc). I tend to get a little overprotective and take the parenteral roll when I hear that one of my friends haven't ate or is being insulting and ir being made uncomfortable. Now for appearance, I smile with my eyes, have a cupid's bow and I have lip asymmetry on my left lip. I have a lot of beauty marks on my face and arms, I have dark brown hair and eyes. I'm on the curvier side, I have really big thighs and my chest is pretty big to so it makes it look like I have somewhat of an hourglass figure which is cool ig. I usually wear shorts and baggy sweaters that are 2 times to big for me, most of my clothes is black except for a couple of red and grey shirts/sweatshirts that I have in my closet. I love music, drawing, painting and pretty much anything to do with art. I also really like Chemistry/Science, English, and Philosophical talks, I like learning about the ocean and space but im to scared to actually go into the ocean and my family never really goes out cuz money issues and stuff but it's nice to see it on the internet. I also really enjoy the company of animals and plants :) ok I think that is all, sorry it was so long I tend to ramble and say things that aren't necessary. OH idk if this would help at all but I want to be a family therapist and will be joining the army next year after I graduate so I can get my degree without getting into terrible debt. Ok now I think that is all, hope you have an amazing day/night and stay safe!

Woah 😳, Why are yall so cool?

I think ima match you with....

C!Philza and C!Techno

Oh no, two protective anachists, what they gonna do

In all seriousness

These two are 100% very protective of you

One of them is always with you

Either making sure your safe

Or just making sure you dont do something to crazy

You play the guitar?

Expect to preform pretend concerts to Phil, Chat, Techno and all technos animals

If neither of the boys can be with you, philza's murder, Chat, as he calls them, would follow you from a distance

Phil would paint with you 100%

Techno wouldnt paint with you two, but he would watch

Philosophical talks with techno

But their like, in like the middle of the night

"Why do you think were here on earth"

"Woah, thats a good question"

Definitely would concern phil, when you two talk about the meaning of life out of nowhere.

They would definitely support your choice of becoming a therapist

And the military as well

Despite fighting for a government

[vinceaddams]

obvs feel free to keep this private, but I got recommended the UFH channel by a friend of mine, haven't gotten around to watching anything from it. I trust your judgement on the content, but my friend considers it her main resource 🙃 of course, since you only watched a few videos you might not be able to answer this, but was there any specific really bad/unacademic approaches I should keep my eye out for that my friend might have adopted? we work on a historical festival together so im concern

(I was going to answer this privately but then it got really long and turned into a post I want to post.)

Oh dear! Well, It appears that the lady behind that channel only cares about the 20th century, so maaybe she’s got good stuff on the 20th century at least? I don’t know, but the 2 videos that I saw were so incredibly awful that I’m highly suspicious of all her stuff. 

The first bad thing about her channel is that her videos all have a one or two sentence caption and nothing else. (I clicked on a few more just to check) No sources listed, no links of any kind except to her merch store. I don’t recall her mentioning any particular sources for any of the things she said in the videos either, she just declared them very matter of factly. 

Good historians cite sources! Bernadette Banners’ video on the history of PPE has so many source links she ran out of room in the description box and had to put the rest of them on a page on her website.  (Oh poo, now I feel a bit bad because I love Karolina Zebrowska but she really needs to do better with leaving source links. But she does talk about doing research, talk in a more nuanced way, and doesn’t present herself as an expert or academic, unlike the UFH lady.)

Good historians also embrace nuance, and aren’t afraid to say “I don’t know” or “I was wrong”. Presenting things in a “this person did this one big thing, and then this happened, and that caused this” kind of way isn’t good because history is more like “all these things happened and as far as we can tell it appears to have influenced this, which was also connected to this other stuff that we don’t know all that much about”. History is foggy and complicated, no matter how much the general public wants it to be simple.

Her description of herself also seems a bit... misleading? In her about page on youtube it says “Amanda Hallay, a college professor specializing in fashion, costume, and cultural history.” but if you look at the CV linked on her website the only degrees she has are in creative writing and art history. I’m not saying a person can’t be really knowledgable about something without a degree, but her whole online presence is about being a “professor” who teaches this stuff so I find it weird.

And if the 1850′s-60s video is anything to go by, she presents things in a shockingly unprofessional way. She starts off by saying she thinks these fashions are ugly and ridiculous and that she has some “theories of her own” on them. @marzipanandminutiae has a post with a lot more about what was wrong with that video, and a few others I haven’t seen. She claims that hoop skirts were oppressive cages when in reality they were a liberating garment that allowed women to achieve full skirts without the heavy layered petticoats they wore previously. 

She posts a photo of a naked lady and says “Now lets start with a beautiful naked lady and cover her up with ugly and unflattering clothes. Now this sexy naked lady isn’t so sexy” I wish I was making this up but that’s almost word for word what she said. Along with a whole lot of untrue or exaggerated stuff about Victorian modesty. She says dresses with layered flounces were called “pagoda dresses”, which isn’t a term that anyone has ever used for those dresses. She says this is cut down from a longer video she uses for teaching class, and I find the thought of this being presented in a classroom quite appalling.

After spending about 95% of the video talking about womens fashion in an extremely condescending and disdainful tone of voice, she posts what appear to be the 5 biggest and most extreme examples of 19th century moustaches she could find, presenting them as if they were what every man looked like.

This part really grinds my gears, because she says “I haven’t said anything about menswear because there’s really not much to say.” She posts photos of suits from 5 different decades and says they’re basically all the same, and also basically the same as a modern suit. Excuse you, there is A LOT of difference between menswear of the 1850′s and the 1890′s. Yes the changes over the decades are more subtle, and the colours are often more subdued than in centuries past, but it is absolutely not (as she claims) “the century when men stopped doing fashion”.   I personally am not hugely interested in 19th century mens fashion, and can tentatively date things in the first few decades but after the middle of the century I can’t. But people who are interested and who study that era can tell the decades apart. Because they’re different. And there is SO MUCH to talk about! Suits for different levels of formality, accessories, waistcoats, sportswear, sleepwear, knitwear, swimsuits, loungewear, underwear, etc. are all extremely different from their modern equivalents. 

It’s perfectly fine to only study womens fashion if that’s what you’re interested in, but it is not okay to then declare that the history of mens fashion is worthless and nonexistent. Simply not being interested in a thing is no excuse for publicly shitting all over it. (I’ve seen people do this more than once. We already have so few men who do historical fashion stuff! Stop putting off newcomers who might be interested!!)

The fact that her online presence is so closed off is also highly unusual. Comments are turned off for her videos, and the only social media link she has is to a private facebook group. (There is also a link to a fb page, but it appears to have been deleted.) Turning off comments is of course the personal choice of the one posting the videos, but the fashion history side of youtube usually tends towards pretty decent comment threads, and people often have nice little discussions and learn stuff in them. Here it looks like she doesn’t want discussion, doesn’t want to be contradicted or asked for sources, doesn’t want to learn new things.

I had never even heard of this channel until I saw @marzipanandminutiae mention it, nor have I ever heard any of the many historical costumers/youtubers I follow mention it, yet somehow it has 55k followers? I don’t know the demographics that watch it (especially not with the comments turned off!) but I’d wager that videos like the 1850′s-60′s one I suffered through are mainly watched by people who like hearing things trash talked, rather than people who actually want to learn about fashion history. The same sort of people who loved that Beau Brummell twitter thread, which was also full of lies and unsourced garbage. People like to believe the past was way worse and grosser than it was because it makes them feel like we’re smarter and better now.

Lastly, the whole premise of the channel is just bad. Calling any one thing “The Ultimate Fashion History” is a bad idea. Her channel trailer says “Youtube’s number one channel for original fashion history content” “we’ve got it all, fifty thousand years of fashion history”. You can’t have one channel that’s the ultimate resource for ALL of fashion history! It’s a huge, HUGE subject, and even if she did do actual good research she’d barely be able to scratch the surface of fifty thousand years. That’s like saying one channel is the ultimate source for all of science, or all of music, or all of cooking. No one thing can come close to covering all of it. I will deign to admit that she’s at least right to call it “original”, because she has some very original lies I haven’t found anywhere else. 

Most people who study fashion history/historical sewing have one or several eras they like best and find most interesting, perhaps with occasional jaunts into other eras. This way we can focus and get a much better understanding of the eras that we find most interesting, rather than just a vague notion of everything. 

For example: I’m most interested in 18th century menswear, and so far have mainly researched and sewn 1785-95 stuff, and more recently some 1730′s. I usually focus on fashionable civilian clothing, so I don’t know as much about working class clothes, and next to nothing about military and other occupational dress. Even with this narrow area of interest, which I’ve been obsessed with for many years, I still have so much to learn! I could never make anything claiming to be the ultimate source for 18th century menswear, because I’m just one person focusing on some aspects, and there are other people out there who research other aspects of it and their work is just as important. It’s all so big and so much, even if you narrow it down to one era.

Amanda Hallay is basically holding up a bucket of saltwater and calling it the ocean.

I haven’t watched any of her 20th century videos, so maybe they’re better than the older ones I watched. I don’t know. (But even if they’re actually good they still don’t have source links.) Edit: okay, nope, turns out they’re just as bad! They appear to make up the vast majority of her videos, so if she’s most interested in the 20th century then maybe she should just... make her channel more clearly 20th century focused instead of trying to paint it as a channel for all eras?

TL;DR, the main bad things about that channel are:

Lying and making ridiculous claims, not citing ANY sources. Spouting easily debunked myths.

Stating things matter of factly without any nuance, even though history is foggy and complicated.

Being extremely judgemental about historical fashions and talking about how much she hates them and thinks they’re ugly, which really isn’t appropriate for a fashion history teacher. You can hear the disgust in her voice and it’s awful and I hate it.

Comments turned off on all her videos, leaving no way to communicate or have public discussions. Unknowing viewers are left to accept her statements as fact without any outside opinions.

Claiming one channel is the ultimate channel for an incalculably enormous subject. Says it covers 50,000 years of fashion history when it’s mostly just the 20th century.

I would like to add that I am not what I would consider an expert either, and have no formal education in fashion history beyond the one college class that was part of my 2 year sewing course. I have learned mainly from books and the internet, and as I said earlier I still have a huge amount to learn. I’m sure a more knowledgable historian could put things better than I have. 

But I’m confident in stating that primary sources are needed to back up a claim! Sometimes even widely accepted beliefs turn out to be entirely unfounded myths, like that one about doctors using vibrators to treat “hysteria”. Total nonsense someone made up in 1999.

Wow this post got way longer than intended. Anyways, yes, I do not like condescending slideshow lady.

[cowboy]

Hi yea I’m the anon that asked if you were an animator. I’m a digital arts and science major myself, but more in the engineering side (video game development, programming, 3d modeling, 3d animation). Im not really sure what I wanna do when I go into industry, and im not the best at using computers either lol. But I’d love to do animation one day. Do you do digital or more traditional animation? How do you like what you’re studying so far? Anything you recommend for someone who is unsure about what artistic profession to pursue?

That's so cool, really obsessed with the concept of you being a video game and 3d arts programmer who isn't good with computers lmao?? But yeah, I'm a traditional/2d animator but I primarily do digital 2d hand drawn animation on my tablet. I love what I'm studying, but I will say I'm much more partial to character animation than anything and my goal is to be a character designer/developer/animator if I can. I think the best thing to do is just try a bunch of different things! There's so much to do, it's hard to go wrong in our field. I major in 2d animation but I've done 3d animation, character design, illustration, painting, layout, graphic design.... and I've learned a lot and found out what im best at/like to do that way. Plus a lot of people get far just by being good at what they do, not necessarily because of their degree, so if you change your mind post graduation, it shouldn't matter too much if you're good at what you do! Have fun with it:)

[curiosity-killed]

Hi....If you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite MXTX characters (top 5 from each novel)? And why? I'm sorry if you've answered this question before.

Aw of course I don’t mind! Though I feel like my answer is going to be a disaster bc I love these casts so so much aha let’s see:

✨ SPOILERS AHEAD ✨

MDZS/CQL

1. Wei Wuxian

Ah so I feel like this is obvious based on the sheer quantity of things I produce and the effort I put into hurting him 😅 but yeah! I love how much of a classical tragic hero he is and I love how much love he has and how that gets twisted around and shaped into a collar of spikes around his own neck. I saw gif sets of wwx before I ever knew about CQL and my reaction was “fuck. I’m going to love him” and I do! And I love that he does learn from his past and I love most of all that he learns to accept the love he is given and is able to make a happy ending in a place of being loved and held in respect and appreciation

2. Wen Qing

On the other hand, I did not expect to be like “mine now” with Wen Qing. Don’t get me wrong, the sexy immortal look got me but it wasn’t really till I started writing fic that I was like ohhhhh Oh Boy. Wen Qing is brilliant and ruthless, fiercely loving and aloof and cold. I love that she gets the lose-lose challenge of balancing what is right for her family vs what is right in the world, what she owes to her sect and what she owes to individuals. The golden core transfer is my favorite dubious science experiment in p much all media I’ve consumed. She gets to be so human—prickly and tough and also achingly gentle and afraid and putting on a tough face and sometimes still crying. “I’m sorry and thank you” ! Im!!

3. Jiang Yanli

The first fic I wrote for this fandom was literally “Jiang Yanli died no she didn’t” lmao I do feel like I underserve Jiang Yanli in that I often fall prey to using her to further the complexity that the male characters are permitted while denying her the chance to be given the same space for development and breath — something to work on! But in that, I really genuinely love how tightly she binds herself to her family and how she tries so hard to be what others need her to be—and then she does make a choice for herself and for a single moment at least, she gets to be loved and to be happy and to have this, a husband and a son and a place, for herself. And terribly I love how much she permeates the story still after death. She is the unspoken voice, the face turned from the camera but always still present, carried in the hearts and names and memories of the ones left behind

She deserved better but—I am weak for the tragedy of it all

4. Jiang Cheng

Another surprise (tho hardly surprising in hindsight): Jiang Cheng is just...horribly understandable. He makes terrible choices and his greatest heroism is undone by a choice made for him or, in the case of “killing the Yiling Laozu” is a lie. He is such a youngest sibling who doesn’t want to be the youngest until all at once, he’s the one in charge and he doesn’t want it at all. He is full of anger and hurt and so much love he doesn’t know what to do with it, doesn’t want it anymore, has no place to put all of its terrible, overwhelming flood.

5. Lan Wangji

I almost didn’t put Lan Wangji or Jiang Cheng on here and then I realized that this is sort of a list of characters I’m pickiest about in fic and...yeah. I think what I love best about Lan Wangji is his journey of grief and healing and through that, his decision to step into world. Where Wei Wuxian’s decision to travel and be removed from the cultivation world (in varying degrees depending on your headcanon preference lol) is really, really important to me, Lan Wangji’s decision to go from being an isolated lone agent working apart from the systems of the world to being involved and invested in changing those systems and working to make them better is also really important to me. I’ve talked before about how relatable Lan Wangji is to me (esp with regards to our interaction with the outer world) and there is something deeply hopeful and comforting about post-timeskip Lan Wangji being in his like mid-/late-30s and still making decisions and growing and changing and choosing to invest himself in the world and the future

yeah. i have thoughts here that I don’t really have the maturity, life experience, or articulation to put into words but Lan Zhan Good basically

TGCF

1. Xie Lian

suuuurpriiiiise!! Yeah honestly mxtx’s mains in TGCF and MDZS really just hit all my buttons basically. What appeals to me most of all about Xie Lian is, fittingly, how he is humanity taken to extremes. His capacity for incredible kindness and compassion is equaled with his capacity for cruelness and ruthlessness. His heaven-shaking highs are matched with calamitous lows. He is the hyperbolic of what it is to be human—and he is also the small moments, the wildflowers and the maple leaves and the mundane chores and the comfort of whispered conversations late into the night. I could quite literally go on for pages about what I love about Xie Lian but I am not Hua Cheng and can restrain myself LMAO

2. Hua Cheng

of all the characters on these lists, Hua Cheng is the one I’m pickiest about tbh! When I say I love him for similar reasons as Xie Lian I don’t actually mean this as being similarities between the two but the fact that both of them so richly convey mxtx’s points about the nature of humanity and what it is to be human. Hua Cheng is both the boldest and most arrogant of all and also the most vulnerable, the one who shies away from the truth because he’s braced for it to hurt and isn’t sure he can take it. He is gory blood rain and an umbrella to shelter a fragile bloom; he is a blade whose wounds only heal if he permits it and he is a sacrifice that he brushes aside as a fit of madness. *pats his head* this boy can fit SO MUCH inside him that he refuses to acknowledge

3. Jun Wu

Definitely my favorite antagonist in recent reading. I was doubtful of him from the start (something something issues with authority something something probably should talk to my theoretical future therapist shhh) but the unfolding of his reveal was so delightfully painful and exquisite that I was like “YES!!!” reading all of it. About the epitome of a satisfying plot twist imo. But about the character himself, I love how he parallels so many — Xie Lian in his rise and fall, his glory and disgrace; Hua Cheng in his fixation and ruthlessness; He Xuan in losing himself to the plot and not knowing how to move forward. I love that he feels beyond human in a way the others don’t—he’s so old and has gone through so much and he doesn’t feel things the way humans do anymore, doesn’t remember right how love squeezes the heart or how hate can exist without acting on it. I love that he thinks he knows how to control everyone and that it’s such mundane things that fool him: Xie Lian’s absurd stubbornness, Hua Cheng’s foolish faith, Yin Yu’s...emotional maturity??? Not Sure how to verbalize that one. But in the end, he is defeated by both the humanity of others and by his own—he’s so tired. He’s exhausted in a way that gods and ghosts aren’t meant to be. He is, under the armor and the masks, the curses and the power, human—benevolent and cruel, evil and good.

4. He Xuan

I love my fish man! No but really I love how He Xuan is so fixed on his one goal that he refuses to acknowledge anything else in his (after)life—which doesn’t make it go away. I love that he is left unmoored, purposeless through the very act of completing that which gives him purpose. I love his long con and the ways he clings to himself but loses himself not in the act but in the telling himself it’s an act. I love that he tries to be a moral man and then becomes a ghost king, a calamity. His reveal is also terribly badass and I do love his bone fish wholly unironically. Like I’m not going to get a He Xuan tattoo (for one thing I’ve been meaning to get a tattoo for 5 years and still haven’t gotten around to it) but also. B o n e f i s h

5. Mu Qing

Of course! The Jiang Cheng of tgcf lol Mu Qing (which my phone desperately wants to autocorrect to my Qing) is so...gah he’s such a mess! And he so fully commits to the belief that no one will ever see and understand him as he is but will always view them through their own convictions about him and his actions — which is simultaneously heartbreakingly lonely and also. Sir You Are a Clown. I genuinely think he’s owed apologies from both Feng Xin and Xie Lian for their treatment and assumptions of him and think that he would be HORRIBLY offended at the thought (while secretly touched? But like secretly even to himself). He will never explain himself and will just clam up tighter the more people accuse him and it’s such a self-sabotaging behavior and also so horribly relatable. I love u sir, you’re a disaster

SVSS I have not read but I do really like the moshang art 😂

[iampikachuhearmeroar]

tl;dr political rant post:

it had been my goal from 12 years old to do an arts degree in philosophy (yes what a nerd- thanks to my dad playing a Great Courses philosophy dvd one morning in 2007 and my dad always taking me to the botanic gardens/the uni some weekends).

i graduated from my arts degree in 2018, with a major in english and a minor in philosophy. i was so, so lucky to even get into my communications & media degree (at first i was originally going to do marketing communications, advertising & PR)... but i realised that i was not made for business subjects- despite my mark101 tutor telling me she thought i had knack for marketing- something under this policy that i wouldn’t undertake due to the price hike for commerce/business degrees. nor was i made for a media degree. so i changed to arts & humanities.

although under this atrocious policy, english subjects are made “cheaper”- why on fucking should the rest of someone’s arts/humanities degree be so much more expensive, all depending on the fields they choose???? so you’re telling me, if i was instead to enter undergrad this year to do my english degree... that my english major would be subsidised, but my philosophy minor would be at double the cost (along with the few first year business and communications&media subjects i did), unless i forced myself to pick maths or science subjects that i would most definitely fail, no matter how much work i’d put into them??? or there’s languages- but much like maths/science- there’s the problem with my handwriting that stopped me trying french and even japanese (ironically, since it’s know for its ~painstakingly neat and orderly~ script- but my handwriting is still messy, disorderly and confusing asf).

*please note that most of this next section is just me being highly spurious and cynical. it’d probably work out fine*

but you’re also telling me that under this policy that i’d also probably have to forego my reasonable adjustments in those subjects (yes i still have trouble with my handwriting to this day) mostly because a lot of software still won’t let you write out maths problems properly or i’d have to spend twice as long trying to get a graph to work in excel or idek matlab (please teach me maths nerds)???? and most maths working out is probably better handwritten or whatever??? and that’s besides the point that i still can’t use excel at all 😂.

so with these classes then, would i be battling from day one of first year with professors to let me use a computer during exam periods (unless of course they use online/take home exam methods like philosophy)???? probably (im being very suspicious here because i don’t know how science/maths etc faculties work).

although i did get this once with one particular english professor; who used the excuse that he didn’t know how to set a computer up for exams because he had been on “sabatical for 4 years” or whatever and so “didn’t know the policies anymore”.... so then according to him it was apparently “the students job to do it.... especially since you’re in third year, miss williams”..... however, i was promptly then told by EVERY uni offical that i approached for help to do it for me.... and my other professors across my course that had done it for me, that it was in fact the PROFESSORS job/responsibility to set it up, and not the student’s??? like. help your students fuckwit professor grant??? honestly. anyway. aside from my personal struggles in the english department: let’s proceed. (this was a real incident btw).

would i be at a significant disadvantage to other students by not being able to use a computer during maths exams or science exams because of the drawing of diagrams and graphs and “showing your working”???? hell yes. would i want the professors in that department to probably condescendingly telling me all the time to “present my work neater and more precisely”? FUCK NO. it’s exactly why i avoided every maths and science subject in undergrad- even including the astronomy subject that i wanted to do- because it also meant that fellow students had to read my handwriting for practicals etc as well, that i wasn’t entirely keen on either. but i did not need the harsh reminders of “be more precise and infallible in your work presentation” that i’d had at school constantly for 11 years of maths lessons; affecting my mental health and performance in a subject during a uni semester.

moreover, that’s besides the fact that i’d flat out fail the “year 12 band 4 maths” requirements- unless they want to waive those- for first year maths/science subjects (at least basing it on my local uni).... considering that i actually skipped out on maths completely in year 12 by doing a TVET/tafe/technical college course in live theatre, production and events (which no surprises here, actually included maths anyway 😅).

because, fuck. is ANYONE seeing a trend in my study choices here? hell, i almost did a commerce/business dual degree with a tafe diploma in event management for crying out fucking loud. and you’re telling me that’s also doubled in price?? it’s obvious that i was interested in the arts & humanities and business subjects from the get-go. but under this policy- i’d be charged double for having my interest in event management, instead of say, biology (which is a subject that if it weren’t for mark scaling in my final hsc exam- i would have failed completely)??? utterly ridiculous.

i even contemplated doing a double degree with law at one point (or doing a legal studies major/minor- which is now a course at my local uni, but was not while i was there). however, law course fees have also doubled under this new policy. leaving that out of reach for me, despite that a double degree with law was out of reach for me anyway..... since my mark average was 65% and not at least 75% lol. but as if those marks averages will actually matter under this new policy.

under this bullshit policy, i’d be forced to take science/maths or even teaching (another field i had to avoid, since people can’t read my writing on a whiteboard from a distance half the time either.... besides the fact that i’m not really the ~teacher type~) subjects- all so that my degree price overall will be ”reduced”..... meaning that i would have to trade out my philosophy minor for something in maths/teaching/science (or maybe creative arts- since those fees stayed the same roughly)... instead of sticking to what i was good at: philosophy and other humanities/social science fields like sociology and history????

i understand that many people will snub me with saying “oh why did you even BOTHER going to uni if you were THAT indecisive about what you wanted to do?” which is something i’ve seen many older people saying on posts about this policy. but hell, i was 19 FUCKING YEARS OLD WHEN I STARTED UNI, FOR GODS SAKE. OF COURSE I WAS GOING TO BE FUCKING INDECISIVE ABOUT MY DIRECTION IN LIFE! because, newsflash fuckwits: not everyone has a defined career goal at 19. hell, i still don’t have one at almost 25..... since i’ll admit here, that i flunked out of my postgrad library course.... because i realised that i simply couldn’t cope with learning simple HTML, CSS and javascript coding for website design & user experience design 😂 (again help me computer wiz friends). yes, believe it or not, librarians have to know that today. and most people think that it’s just all about books (okay that was me, but i was wrong). also, if you’re wondering: postgrad library courses aren’t affected, thank god. but my point is, aren’t we meant to fuck up and pick the wrong things in life sometimes??? aren’t we meant to be indecisive about our choices in our late teens up until our mid 20s???

but now you’re telling students that their very first year of uni is practically set out for them, even for arts/humanities degrees (im not counting properly prescribed degrees such as engineering/science/communications & media (they had prescribed majors and prescribed first year subjects, which is why i left it. because i felt trapped in the prescribed marketing et al major etc); all because the government is telling them that “oh to make your first year cheaper: (A.) get good marks.... so that we don’t cancel your HECS place and (B.) pick subjects outside of the arts/humanities like science/maths/tech related subjects so that you don’t pay a whopping $14,500 for your first year of uni and will be more likely to be “job ready”. whatever the actual fuck “job ready” really means. and this all as if there ISN’T enough pressure for a 18/19 year old to succeed in their first year of uni already.

although, the one thing i’ll say is that my one year advanced diploma in marketing that i did in 2014, was $16,500. i still haven’t made any moves to pay it off. but it was constantly in the back of my mind during uni, both undergrad and postgrad. it was there as a reminder to pick cheaper subjects, so as to not greatly increase my combined hecs debt and vet-fee help debt; which is now sitting at $42,500. which under this new policy is the new price of ONE arts & humanities undergrad degree. i’d hate to be going into uni next year at 19 years old (or any age really) with that price tag on my degree.

anyway. that’s the end of my non-sensical rant. morrison and the rest of the libs etc can go fuck themselves.

[dyketectivecomics]

tell us about the roller derby AU!! <3

(tysm anon bc this got me to get my ass in gear abt actually writing it all down fdskl;fjla ALSO shout out to zom for leaving a reply <3 ty both omg)

OKAY, first things first. This started bc I was thinking abt the Sirens doing Derby together (OBVIOUSLY Harleys idea) BUT 3 players isn’t enough for a team (you need 3 blockers, a pivot and a jammer afterall) so this team HINGES on the fact that GCS had that brief team-up with Talia and Zatanna and the pure Chaos of them permanently joining the sirens in the mainverse is something I want to explore sometime in the future but ANYWAYS they also need a team to play against and I’m Nothing if not Consistent so OFC this is Sirens vs Birds

cue Same Age-Range College Setting, Roller Derby Focus AU. Everyone’s attending Uni at Gotham State and yes I have majors in mind too, for the Sirens we got undergrads Harley: Psych, Ivy: Botany, Selina: Art History, Talia: Anthropology, Zatanna: Theater. For the Birds, (grad student she’s fast-tracking) Babs: library science, (undergrads) Dinah: Music, Helena: Undeclared, Zinda: doesn’t actually Go Here lmao

now u might be saying “wait a min randy, that’s only four birds. DIDNT u JUST say u need 5 players for a team?” And yes. Yes I did. The Birds is actually a BIGGER team than the Sirens and includes anyone who has ever been on the BoP team ever. They’re all here! And there’s a lot of them that rotate in and out of the roster but for the sake of simplicity we’ll focus on those four as Main members.

So let’s talk positions, play style & other stuff!

so Harley is the Jammer, don’t fix what isn’t broken. I like the idea of Talia being the Pivot bc ofc she’d want to be in charge. Which leaves Ivy, Selina & Zee as the blockers

 YES Selina plays damn near as dirty as Harley does lmao. In fact if we rank them by how often they play Renegade vs Regulation, you’ve got, Harley, Selina, Talia, Ivy (all at varying degrees of being FAR at the renegade-end of the spectrum) and Zee is more like just Right of center in favor of Regulation (but not above elbowing an opponent or ‘accidentally’ tripping them up if they’re REALLY close to winning) 

Derby names MOSTLY follow their costumed personas, like Poison Ivy and Catwoman, but then there’s also Gnarley Quinn (currently taking suggestions for Zee n Talia tho bc... well they DONT have names other than their own really lmao)

For the Birds, Zinda is the Jammer, Dinah is the pivot, Helena is a blocker, Babs is actually the team manager & former pivot. Harley gave her a BAD injury during an end-of-season bout and kicks off the rivalry btwn the teams at the start of the plot. (Other birds in the rotation play blockers and jammers as needed. Helena will step up as pivot if Dinah can’t make a bout)

All the Birds PRACTICE regulation derby but....  well, when you put on your skates and the ref blows the whistle, what happens next can’t be helped (but esp after babs’ injury if its a Sirens vs Birds bout they’re out for BLOOD)

Yes their derby names are the same as their hero names, and yes ppl still call Babs Oracle even tho she doesn’t put on the skates as much even after her knee heals

Outfits and Skates:

okay, so OBVSLY zee & dinah are still VERY much the Fishnet Queens™, but i can totally see Harley, Selina & Zinda joining them. can’t have derby w/o SOME ppl wearing fishnets after all fjldka;s

also i know that derby’s sometimes a bit more butch and some ppl take issue with Zinda’s miniskirt but listen i am GAY and a SUCKER for vintage inspired looks and really? skirts and skates go hand in hand BEAUTIFULLY. the skirt STAYS for zinda

actually im a sucker for bombshells!Ivy’s dresses too, i know the big fandom push has been towards making her more butch but LISTEN.

wait, do i actually just want to see Bombshells on skates is that what all this is about. im gonna scre-

everyone else’s looks im still trying to figure out in my own brain but tbh, any artists out there who feel like doing their own spin on superhero inspired looks for these guys im *eyes emojis* would LOVE to see that actually would love to see that A LOT

imagine everyone color-coding their wheels, though, omg i need that

outside of derby i think Harley & Dinah would be rlly into jam/rhythm skating, Zee, Selina & Talia would like artistic skating, and Helena & Zinda would be into speed skating. Ivy and Babs like supporting their friends & esp their gfs but actually they’re trying rlly hard not to show them up bc theyre both pretty good at jam/rhythm themselves fjdkls

Now for the Extra Relationship Stuff:

Obvsly almost all of the sirens have dated each other at some point. Whether in the past or over the course of going to uni together. Cue even More Drama when Talia and Selina break up and Both start pursuing soon-to-be-drop-out Bruce (the dropping out is unrelated to the drama itself but I just think it’s funny if even in an AU setting Bruce drops out of college aksjak)

also listen ever since i read those GCS issues with Talia and Zee I’ve NEEDED to see Selina/Talia/Zee so so so badly. its my AU and its happening some fucking how i’ll make it work shut uppppp

Also I’m gonna throw in some real slowburn HarlIvy bc once again it’s MY AU AND I DO WHAT I WANT.

Yes Dinah and Zee become star-crossed/rival-to-lovers in this. Havent actually decided which way I wanna go bc starcrossed is Fun, but rivals gives me DRAMA and with them both being diff arts majors could Add to that aksj

the Birds marginally have their dynamics together better than the Sirens, but every so often there’s some communication issues bc yes, we need all the Drama in this!!! I demand it!!!

So yeah, if/when I ever plot this out, it would be something with equal focus on changing relationship and team dynamics, and then focus on how well each of the teams are doing leading up to the Big Bout where the Birds are out to Avenge Oracle. And do they succeed? I guess you’d have to read to find out lmao

Coming to a fanfic site near you...... eventually.......

[bakumu-archive]

Okay I’m being adventurous here and trying this matchup for the first time haha

fandom: MHA

(forgive me I have no experience dating so I’m just going off of close friends here) no 1 trait: kindness to others and themselves

dream vacation: there’s a cottage my family and I visit sometimes and you can listen to the crows and the waves there, I think I’d just like to visit again

5) I’m 5’4” and fall will be the last sem of my masters degree in computer science. I have brown hair down to my shoulders that I recently lightly bleached. I have hazel eyes but you can’t tell unless the sun is directly in them so I just say they’re brown. I have a “diamond” face shape according to the lady that helped me pick out my glasses but she also thought it was weird I looked at the men’s section (my glasses are plastic but they look like wood grain and I thought that was the best). The way I’m built you can tell I’m short even in pictures. I have wide thighs and hips and upper arms. I carry fat kind of weirdly because of my pcos. I’m a homebody by a lot, I really didn’t adjust much for covid lockdowns. I tend to get really hyper focused on one media at a time (right now is pokemon) but I can’t let myself go too long or it leads to a depressive episode. I have something causing chronic pain for the past 7 years but none of the three rhumatologists would diagnose me. I have a habit of answering honestly about how I’m doing which is nice but it catches people off guard because my family has a lot of medical problems so I’ll not think and say “oh I’m doin alright, my grandad has to get major heart surgery in a few weeks though so I’m headed to my gparents house soon *shrug*”. I’m an Aries, either an INFJ or ISFJ it keeps flipping when I take it, I’m the mom friend such that I’m a big worrywart about people I care about sometimes this is to my detriment. My favorite way to relax changes but if not pokemon or animal crossing it’s knitting, crochet, paint, or some other kind of art. My movie snack used to be skittles but they changed lime to green apple and I’ve never eaten them since because of a weird grudge. I’m non-binary I think but I’m not out to my family but I’m still fine with she/her pronouns. I’m asexual but I dream of falling in love one day so fingers crossed haha.

Im so glad you decided to be adventurous and ask for a matchup! 

I match you with Mirio Togata! 

Mirio is the kindest man out there, and he would be so loving and supportive of you in every single way. He would really play into your love language of acts of service because he would absolutely pamper you.

You two met at school when you were grouped up for a class project. You spent a lot of time with each other outside of class and when the project was done he made a huge effort to still spend time with you, eventually asking you out!

I feel like the two of you would become known as the ‘too truthful’ couple because both of you would just say whatever is on your minds when asked about your days. Someone politely asks you how your days going and both of you just riff off of each other, “Oh we have to go visit my aunt today to take her the muffins we made yesterday.” “Oh yeah, and don't forget visiting gramps in the hospital, he just had his heart surgery.”  People would just chuckle to themselves about how cute you are together.

He always thinks that it is adorable when you worry about him. He makes sure to give you little updates throughout the day, sending you selfies and pictures of his lunch just so you know he’s doing okay.

Mirio my be an extrovert and you may be an introvert but you know what they say, opposites attract! He would love taking you out, but would be very aware of your social limits. When your ready to leave and go home he knows before you even have to tell him, grabbing your coat and saying goodbye. He’s always open to skipping things and just staying in with you whenever you need it! 

He’s the type to hype you up and then be chill with you, cuddling with you while you are knitting and playing games, just happy to be there. 

He is also very supportive of you exploring your identity in whatever way that means for you!

AND he would eat the green apple skittles for you because hes an absolute prince!

I hope you like this! 

matchup event (closed)

[anne-white-star]

Exchange student modern au jon pertwee x reader: Studying abroad

Notes: reader is a student from the netherlands she's 20 years old (jon is 24) and goes to england to studdy. She goes to frensham heights school and meets there jon pertwee as her asigned student for the year. It may not all be acurate but please enjoy reading jon lives in rowledge (this is an au and probably not completly acurate)

Words : 2488

Warnings : bullying, cursing

Y/n was working on her degree in (prefred feeld). Her year of studying concidered also of studying one year abroad, she was extremly exited about it

"Do you have everything dear?"

"I think i do don't worry mom everything will be alright"

"Alright just wanted to make sure, here is your ticket for the train"

"Thanks mom" She hugged her " once i arive i'll call alright

"Alright, take care my dear "

"Take care mom" y/n ran to the train while waving "bye!"

"Bye sweetheart!!"

The wissel went off and a few seconds later the train started to move she kept waving at her mom, once she was out sight y/n sat down it was going to be a long ride.

She had to get from the netherlands to belgium to France and then to London england but she had brought some stuff to sketch a bit the ride was about 7 u 47 min.

Y/n drew the landscape around her sketching with difrent kind of colors

Finaly after almost 8 hours the train had finaly arived, packing everything back up y/n grabed all her things and got out

She had to wait for an other train to frensham cause there was the school she had to go to

Once the train had arived to bring her to frensham y/n sat down again it was going to be about an other 2 hours oh wel she thought its better than biking everywhere.

Late that afternoon y/n finaly arived at frensham heights school the princable greated her " Ah you must be y/n y/l/n" he shook her hand

"Yes thats me" she smiled

"I hope the ride went wel here"

"Oh yes it did everything went alright and the trains were on time"

"Good, you will be staying at a room for one night and tomorow you wil go back home with one of the students he has already been informed of your stay"

"Alright great" she picked up her suit case "please show me the way" about 30 minuts later y/n was seteled in the room, she wasn't going to pack out everything also because of tomorow. She grabed her phone and dialed her mothers number

"Hey mom"

"Hey sweetheart have you arived?"

"Yes i got here about 30 minuts ago and im now in my room where i stay for the night"

"Oh for the night? I thought you would stay there for the whole year"

"I do but they informed me that i would stay with a student for the year"

"Do you know who it is?"

"Not yet they will tell me tomorow"

"Alright wel i don't have to worry about you your 20 years old dear"

"I know mom its fine really, Anyway i should be going i have class at 9 tomorow"

"Alright sweetheart sleep wel"

"Night mom" She hang up And placed the phone on the bedsite table "wel Its time to sleep" she grabed her pyjama out her lugage and put it on, then she went under the blankets and went to sleep

*time skip to 8 o'clock next morning*

Y/n got out of bed and started to dress her self breakfast was waiting then she left her room to eat

"Good morning sir"

"Ah good morning y/n did you sleep wel?"

"Oh yes i did "

"Good im glad to hear that, breakfast is waiting for you it might be difrent from what you normaly eat"

"Oh thats alright im not making a big hassle out of it as long as it is bread its fine"

"Alright then once school starts you will be inform who you wil stay with"

"Thank you, see you later sir"

*skip to 9 o'clock*

Everyone had sit down for class and y/n walked in with the teacher

"Good morning everyone we got a new class mate she is an Exchange student from the netherlands please introduce yourself" the teacher stept aside

"Hi im y/n y/l/n and i hope we will have a Nice year with echoter im really looking forward to it"

"Good miss y/l/n do you know yet who you are going to stay with this year?

"not yet im suposed to get the info today"

"Alright the student you wil be paired with is mr pertwee" the teacher pointed at a guy with big grayish blue eyes dark brown wavy hair and he was wearing a school uniform "you can sit right next to him "

"Alright thank you sir" y/n sat next to mr pertwee

"Hi my name is jon its Nice to meet you y/n "

"Like wise"

"Please grab your english books and turn to page 45"

The day went by fast

"Oh now i don't know who im going to stay with this whole year"

"Y/n You are staying with us"

"Oh... we i guese that we should get my stuff then "

"Good idea, please lead the way" jon grined

"Here is everything"

"Three suitcases and a bag i have seen girls who brought more"

"Oh wel that doesn't really mater i only brought things that i would need, and i got my school uniform today"

"Ah i see, we should go i bet my aunt is waiting for us"

"Alright lets go" They grabed everything and went out

Once they arived home they went up the stairs jon opend the door

"This will be your room for the upcoming year"

"Oh its absolutly wonderfull" she looked around on the otherside of the room stood a desk and a big closet

"The bathroom is down the hall first door on the left, i leave you be so that you can settle your stuff"

"Alright thanks jon i'll be down in an hour"

Finaly an hour later y/n was done with packing out and placing everything in the right place , then there was a knok at the door

"Yes?"

"Hey y/n I just came to tell you that dinner is ready "

"Oh thanks jon im coming with you" she stood up and followed him

Y/n sat next to him at the table "jon i have a question, um where are your parents? "

"They devorced and they don't want anything to do with me anymore so i moved in with my aunt"

"Im so sorry jon i din't know"

"Its fine y/n don't worry" he smiled softly

"Hello everybody!" Came a voice from the front door

"Hi bill, y/n This is bill my cousin"

"Nice to meet you" she shook his hand

"Like whise"

After dinner Everyone went to bed early to get a good night of sleep, the next day was going to be a long day

*time skip to four months later because im to lazy *

"What lessons do we have today ?"

"Um english, biolgy, art , music, history and french

" and Tomorow ?"

Mathematics, science, sport and geography

"Alright noted"

Once they arived at school they went to their class room

"You go in jon i need to check something"

"Alright"

"Well wel wel if it isnt the Exchange student" y/n turned around and looked at a girl and there where two more behind her , y/n knew her of course she had been there already for four months

"what do you want erica" (Im sorry if it is your name you can change it if you want)

"Oh don't try to be all smart and stuff you know what i want and don't think you get a chance with jon, he's one of the best looking boys in the school and he will be mine"

"Honestly i don't mind i only stay at his place, in 6 months i'll be going back home"

"Good because he wil never like a whore like you, now bye" she fliped her long blond hair over her shoulder and walked away while her friends followed while snikering

Y/n signed and looked down "he's just a Friend Anyway" she mumbled while walking back to class

Once she was back in class she sat down next to him "what took you so long" he wispered

"Sorry i could't find my book" it was a lie of course, y/n doesn't want to talk about the struggels she's having with erica, and stuppid enough she's in the same class as her so she always has to look at that dumb face

Y/n Her thought were stoped by what the teacher was saying "as we all know we have a ball at the end of the year and because its you guys last year here you get to decided the theme of the party"

Erica raised her hand "Oh what about a party with lots of alcohol" she grined

"No erica alcohol will not be tolareated" said the teacher

"Whats the fun then if there is no alcohol tsjk" she scold

"Sir what about an all decade event everybody can dress up from the 40s thill now, difrent food will be served and all kinds of music will be played"

"Thats a Nice idea miss y/l/n" People around the room agreed with her idea

"Tsk sounds boring" erica said and her friends agreed

Y/n got angry but calmed her self down "wel if you think its boring please come with a better idea im curious to hear it" she said with a smile, erica went quiet and turned away

"Alright then its setteled this will be the theme of our ball it will be held 6 months from now"

*skip to the end of the day*

*sigh* "im glad this day is over" y/n sat down on the coutch

"Me to" there was a pauze between them "you know y/n Im really proud of you how you handeld yourself in class

"Thanks jon"

"Are you ok?"

"Oh yes i am, im just tired" she stood up

"What Are you going to do? "

"I have to call my mom to sent some of my stuff over for the party"

"Alright im going to make dinner"

Y/n went upstairs and called her mom "hi mom"

"Hi sweetheart Hows everything going ?"

"Everything is fine ..... mom i was wondering if you could sent some stuff over here"

"Sure thing what do you need?"

Could you pack my hair curler some of my make up, my black evening dress with glitters, my 1930s evening coat, the silver high heels i bought with the dress a and the ear rings and necklace i got from grandma ?"

"Sure thing i will sent it in a big box anything ells?"

"Oh yes my trolley i have to take my stuff back home as wel so thats the best idea i guese"

"Alright i noted it i will look everything up And sent it to you"

"Thanks mom love you got to go now"

"Love you to sweetheart speek to you later"

"Bye" she hang up And went back downstairs to eat.

About a month later everything had arived that she would need to dress up

*time skip to 4 months and 20 days later*

The bulying got worse and worse, y/n had been atacked, spit on and called names but never had she imagined that jon would go to the dance with erica.

She had done her hair but stoped with everything els it just wasn't worth it she would rather stay here at home, jon already left a bit sad by the news y/n don't want to atend

*knok knok* the door opend "hey y/n?"

"Oh hi bill"

"Whats wrong"

"Jon has gone out with somone wich i din't expect him to go with"

"Who?"

"That stuppid bitch Erica"

"Really with her? Goodness i expected better from him"

"Me to" she sniffed

"Hey don't give up now there is still a chance come on get dressed chop chop"

"Are you sure I mean..."

"Yes 100% sure you are way more pretty than her come on "

"Alright if you say so.... but how am i going to get there?"

"I have a car"

"Alright give me 30 minuts" y/n started to get dressed put on her necklace, ear rings and shoes she then did her make up, she grabed her long coat and walked out.

She opend the door and heared a car horn

"Hey y/n over here" it was bill he sat in a old black vintage car "here is your ride my lady"

"Why thank you kind sir, lets go" she steped in and sat down

Bill started the car up And drove away

"Thank you so mutch for the help i really need that"

"Its nothig everything for a friend, now come on lets go i also have a date"

Everything was nicely decorated and music was playing, people were dressed up in all Difrent kind of dresses and suits, a table stood against the wall where there wer all Difrent kinds of food it looked all So good

"Look there is jon"

"Alright thanks bill" she hugged him and walked to jon who was dancing with erica, people looked at her as she walked acros the dance floor she tapped his shoulder "hey jon"

He turned around " hey y/n I thought you were going to stay home "

"Bill convinced me to go anyway so here i am" the was caught of guard by a cough from behind her

"Im sorry but jon is my date so shove it you whore"

"Excuse me what did you say?"

"You heared me"

"You know what fuck you its a wonder jon would even want to dance with you, do you even know how miserabel you made me feel this past year, you are also 19 years old you really should be more mature" She was caught of guard when erica shoved her " I get it now you are jelouse of me for staying with jon get a grip, come on jon lets dance" she took his hand and walked to a chair and placed her coat on it, then her beautyfull evening gown got revealed

People stared at her "y/n you look absolutly gorgeous"

"Thank you" she blushed

"May i have this dance "

"Of course jon"

Jon leaded y/n to the dance floor and they both started to do the walz

"Y/n i have to tell you something"

"Tell me jon what is it"

"Well i really enjoyed this year with you staying and i wish you could stay longer, but y/n Im really realy in love with you and i wish i had told you ealyer "

"I love you to jon i really do"

"May i give you a kiss?"

"Sure" she smiled softly at him, He leaned in and gave her a kiss

"Perhaps i can stay a little longer but i need to inform my parents first"

"Thats all fine with me"

"Lets hope they don't mind"

"So do i" he said smiling

And both danced the night away

The end

I hope you enjoyed reading 😊