#no more limits to what I can show bc of the length of the cord

[lunarpiscesangel]

just got airpods pro🥺 facetime sex just got way easier/better ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[bigbrotherlouis]

PK SUBBAN LEAVES A VOICEMAIL for the director's cut meme please! <3

ohhh i did not think through how to format the commentary meme with poems in askboxes through enough so bear with me through the fucked up formatting but!! here we go. my process for writing poems is a little different than writing stories in that i usually settle on a central theme to use as a touchstone, instead of in stories where i just use a plot as a guiding light because there’s less space, and so i try to pack a LOT of imagery and allusions in as a shortcut to emotion. i wrote this for jes’ birthday, because she wanted a poem about them and i had a spark of inspiration enough to finish it in time. (original)

PK SUBBAN LEAVES A VOICEMAIL (a lot of my heartbreaks happened over the phone and so that medium is always sort of tied to bittersweetness for me. i thought it worked well for pk)

hey man, (constantly in love with using colloquial language mixed in with ~more literary~ language) sorry i missed your call but like you missed this one so i guess we’re kinda equal now. i don’t know why you wanted to talk at midnight. shouldn’t you be asleep? (still taking care of his tendy) you always complained about me keeping you up (a reference to this comment) and look, here i am, still doing the same. (sometimes, the best way to call attention that things are very different are to reference the things that are still the same. him acknowledging that he’s still waking pricey up hopefully tells a LOT about the current state of their reference) i kinda miss it. kinda miss you, so just— give me a call sometime, eh? get the timing right. let me know you’re there. (i reckon not knowing where pricey is is a new feeling for pk. goalies don’t move much and usually it’s pk needing to show carey where he is in a hockey game, idk also it was very hurty)

click. (all these were just melodrama on my part. but i liked them, so. also it added spice to the stanza breakups)

how’s the city? is it bigger without me in it? (sasha stop constantly asking questions in her poems challenge) more space to stretch out and breathe, (here’s an example of him stretching) more room for your dreams to take root. i know it’s different now but, like, (a little tell on myself: a lot of times if i use like after not using it for a while, the next line is going to be A Big Emotional Moment) do you ever think about how it was gonna be us? like, it was us against the world and we were going to win it all, (i’m very fond of not including hockey in my hockey poems.) side by side. you’n me, the dream team. it’s funny how life does that— ties you so tightly to someone, only to snip the cords one by one, until you’re left floating. you would have done anything for me, and me for you, broken every single rule, spoken or unspoken, (this was a reference to carey letting pk wear his goalie gear, specifically. you know how goalies get and carey just..... lets him i’m emotional) for the way your eyes found mine first, every single time in every single city. (pk said it himself (middle right gif) i dream about that sometimes. i—

click.

guess (the sentence continuing through a stanza break was just pure indulgence on my part and i love it) i was never much good at keeping (a poetry prof i had in college told us always to end a line break on a strong word choice, because end of a line is more important than the beginning. i don’t always do that but i try to a lot of the time! it’s why my sentences overflow) quiet, was i? can we still be— friends, i guess, or whatever it is when we’re together? (ah okay so i didn’t want to make this obviously shippy bc for some reason writing poems about players feels close to breaking the fourth wall for me without introducing ships, but also this was a poem about pk and carey, specifically. so this is a good way at getting around that for me because you can take from it what you will. also, ambiguous relationship breakups are so painful and so fun to write about.) because, truth is, i think about you every single day, every single hour maybe. it’s more than habit now (hate the flow of this line but i couldn’t  figure out how to fix it) and i can’t stop, even if i tried. you’ve swallowed me up so and i can’t even be upset because it’s you, tangled up (a call back to the reference to tying/cords in the earlier stanza) in what makes me me now. (this is not meant in a identity-losing way, or in a bad way, but people change you and shape you, especially when you’re very close. so what does pk do when he’s grown  into adulthood with carey, and now he’s gone?) what am i going to be without you? what are you going to do with all that extra room where my body should go? (a callback to the first part of the second stanza) who am i going to look at now when it gets bad, or fuck, good? i wish we had gotten the timing right in the first place. kinda like these phone calls and how we keep missing each (okay, so here is where you can most clearly see, imo, the way i write poetry. if you look closely enough, you’re going to see this in a lot of the ones i post because it’s just how my brain works. you have the clearest explanation of the emotional arc as it resolves, and then you have all these references to other allusions and imagery earlier, rephrased for extra emotional impact.) other, huh? life’s funny like that, but i loved laughing with you. i loved— well, i just loved. you’ve got to know that, right? (again: ambiguous relationships are so painful and especially when there’s so much you don’t know if the other person knows. too many what-ifs) i loved—(say you watched doctor who at a formative age without saying you watched doctor who at a formative age)

click.

sorry i missed your call. try again some other time, maybe? i’ll try to pick up this time, cool? cool, thanks. (this was just me being indulgent again with the angst)

click.

this one was so fun to write and i really tried to push my creative limits a little. i tend to be very strict with myself in certain aspects of poetry so this was a little bit of a loosening for me. stanzas can be different lengths! how novel! i think poetry can sometimes seem very... sacred? i guess? like you have to write poems about Big Ideas and it has to be very Literary and Important, but ultimately, it’s just expressing yourself!