#no meter whatsoever. incredibly unpleasant to try to read like it’s a metered poem
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cmon man that’s not a sonnet. where are the iambs
#barely a single iamb in that whole thing#you have to establish the stress pattern is there even if you’re planning to fuck with it!#i realize. im vagueing a sonnet that is openly a class assignment by a non poet#but they are the one who posted it for reblogs on al gore’s internet#and i find them slightly irritating#and they will never see this critique. so.#box opener#no meter whatsoever. incredibly unpleasant to try to read like it’s a metered poem#also of course science poetry is unwholesome but for once the problem here is that it’s basically fine science#and absolutely not poetry. so i guess i can respect that.#if you’re going to fuck up somewhat that is the direction to do it.
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