#no lol. i struggle to point to a single specific moment

[dancedance-resolution]

guys do you want to know something absolutely insane. i was thinking about a catholic related world news event that happened a while ago and thought to myself man, i can only imagine how crazy it must’ve been for the kids going to my old catholic school the day after that happened. so i googled when it happened to see if my best friends little brother was there when it happened and um. I was there when it happened???? lololol i’ve been thinking about it for 20 mins and i think that now i maybe do remember the teeniest tiniest bit going to school after it happened…. anyways as if i needed any more evidence that my time in catholic high school was deeply deeply traumatic to me, it turns out my brain did the trauma response thing of completely erasing my memory of those last two years lol

[whimsiwitchy]

I hear the secrets that you keep (series)

chapter five: i missed you

Pedro Pascal x Plus size F!reader 

series masterlist

series summary: 24 year old y/n is an insecure and struggling actress in Los Angeles until she finally books a leading role in a big Hollywood movie next to her leading male, Pedro Pascal. A spark of friendship flickers between the two and slowly begins to blossom into something more. As y/n is navigating a new found fame and a new found romance, she fears that a lie she has been sitting on might ruin everything.

Warnings: plus size reader (no specific description of reader, slight descriptions of weight: stomach fat, stretch marks, etc.), hefty age gap (24 years/14 years), female anatomy description, she/her pronouns, use of gendered terms (girl, girly, etc.), y/n used, descriptions of nudity, swearing,  use of the word fat, daddy kink (not really, but it’s kinda mentioned), sexual themes. warnings may change as the story progresses. 

authors note: Hi everyone. I’ve been spending more time trying to add more detail in my writing, so I hope there’s a small improvement in this chapter. I also want to make the chapters lengthier in the future but we’ll see lol. There’s a tag list to the series now, any information about it is at the bottom of the chapter! 

chapter summary: Pedro misses y/n and comes to bother her at work. 

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

Life moved on so quickly and there was never enough time to savor your favorite moments. Everything around you changed within a blink of an eye and you hadn't had a single second to just sit and think. You wanted nothing more than to be able to stop time for just a few minutes, just to process how dramatically your life had changed within such a short span of time.

The kiss you had shared with Pedro was nothing short of perfect, but after the high seemed to wear off, you became hyper aware of just how fucked this entire situation was. Whatever was brewing between the two of you was exciting, thrilling, and you wanted nothing more than to dive in head first- but  you’d be lying if you said it didn’t scare the absolute shit out of you at the same time. Being around Pedro has felt so easy. You were still getting to know him and vice versa, but the attraction was there. He so clearly told you that he thought you were beautiful and enjoyed spending time with you. It kind of freaked you out at first, how fast everything was moving between you, but he was a man. He wasn’t some boy that was just using you to pass time, he was a real man who knew what he wanted and went for it. It ignited a flame in you that you wouldn’t be able to put out even if you tried. 

As much as you were enjoying whatever was happening with Pedro, you couldn’t help shake the fact that you were technically lying to him. You tried to tell him the truth, you really had, but you got interrupted, and everything else happened so fast. You knew you would have to tell him the truth at some point, but you were terrified of how he would react to the news. You could only imagine what would happen when he finds out that the woman he had been flirting with and even kissed wasn’t actually 14 years younger but instead a whopping 24 years younger.. It wasn’t like you lied to him on purpose. It wasn’t even a lie you had started in the first place, it was a lie Angie constructed to get your career up and moving. People in the industry lie about their age all time, right? 

It’s been an entire week since the kiss. The day after the kiss, Pedro had texted you, and the two of you had been texting consistently ever since. Three days after the kiss, you saw Pedro in person again. You had filmed the roller skating scene and went to get tacos after in celebration of filming your first ever professional movie scene. Neither of you had mentioned the kiss at all. Everything was normal between you guys. He was flirty, you were awkward, and life moved on. 

You were pulled out of your thoughts when a makeup artist came to do some touch ups. Today you were on set to film a few solo shots, meaning Pedro wasn’t here. It was kind of weird, him not being here, everything you had done in this process had involved him somehow and you missed his presence. The makeup artist, Elizabeth, removed your previous eyeshadow and replaced it with a light orange color with a dramatic wing set in white eyeliner that matched your current costume perfectly. You were called to the studio at four in the morning and it was creeping up on five in the afternoon. You were exhausted. You didn’t have a lot to film, with most of the time being taken by costume and makeup changes between yourself and any extras in the scenes. Once Elizabeth was done, you made your way from the makeshift vanity over to the next set to film your final shots of the day.

You were released from set almost two hours later. You practically ran to the small trailer that sat just outside on the studio lot with your name plastered across the door. If you weren’t so tired, you probably would have shed a few tears at the sight of it. As soon as you walk in, you plop down in the ‘directors’ style chair that sits in front of a lighted mirror. 

“Hey there hot stuff”

You almost jump out of the chair and let out a startled scream. You looked over to the right to see Pedro lounging on a small sofa that was connected to the wall of the trailer. He was wearing a pair of black lounge shorts, paired with a Los Angeles Lakers shirt that was their signature gold color. He wore a small smirk and you noticed that he was sporting a funky looking mustache instead of the full facial hair you had become accustomed to.

“Oh my fucking god P, you scared the shit out of me.” Both of your hands were gripping either side of the chair and you tried to slow your heart rate down. “How’d you even get in here dude, jesus christ.” 

He lets out a small laugh. “I have my ways sweetheart. How did filming go?” 

“It was fine. I’m fucking drained though.” Your hands finally relax and you lean back into the chair in a casual manner.  

“Yea it can be that way sometimes. Just wait until you're back on set with me. I’ll make sure you aren’t bored.” He winks. Your mind wanders for a moment before changing the subject. 

“When did you get the porn stache?” You laugh and point to his upper lip. 

“Oh this old thing? They shaved it a few days ago when I started filming more.”  He runs one hand across his slightly stubbled jaw. 

“It suits you.” You say with a hum. 

He stays quiet for a moment and you look at him. He sits up straight on the couch, spreading his legs apart slightly. “Come here sweetheart.” He says while reaching out for you. You take a few steps towards him and he's grabbing your hands. 

“I missed you.” He whispers while pulling you to stand in between the gap of his thighs. You weren’t entirely sure what he meant by that. Did he miss being around you? Did he miss kissing you? It really didn’t matter, because you missed him too, so you told him. 

“I missed you too.” you admit outloud. 

His hands let go of yours and instead make their way to your waist. He pulls you forward gently. 

“I want you to sit on my lap, can you do that for me baby?” 

Baby.

What you had with Pedro was unique. There wasn’t any discussion on what either of you had felt, but the night he kissed you, it created an unspoken agreement of sorts- there was a spark and you both weren’t afraid to explore it. 

“P, I can’t. I’ll crush you.” He gives you a look of disapprovement. You were always too aware of your weight in intimacy. Knowing that you were heavier than what most guys were used to, made you avoid any situation that involved any weight being placed on another person. 

“Just come straddle me baby, use your knees for support if you’re that worried about it okay? I just wanna feel you sweetheart, we can stop if you ever feel uncomfortable. Does that sound okay?” He’s rubbing from your waist, down to your haps, and back up again. It’s comforting and you know that you can trust him- you know that he isn’t going to make fun of you. 

You give him a nod and slowly lower yourself to straddle him, knees touching the couch on either side of his legs, holding yourself up slightly.. He places one hand on each of your thighs, slightly digging into them. 

“Atta girl.” he says, his voice slightly deeper. A shiver runs down your spine and the gravel of his voice gives you the confidence to slide yourself down further and apply more weight onto his lap. 

“You know, I've been aching to kiss you again.” He looks up and trains his eyes to yours. 

“Then do it.” You say, your voice small. 

He puts his hands around your waist, positioning his hands right above your ass and pulls you forward. He leans up towards you and you lean down meeting his lips halfway. Your lips start moving against him in a comfortable rhythm. The kiss starts off slow and innocent, both of you savoring the feeling that you both had been craving. His grunts and his hands fall lower fully cupping each ass cheek, giving them both a tight squeeze. You let out a small gasp to which he takes as an invitation to sneak his tongue into your mouth. This snaps you into reality and you pull back for a moment.

“Taylor, my uh hairstylist, is coming by soon to take the wig off.” You said in a breathy voice. 

“She’ll knock.” He says pulling you back into him, his tongue immediately darting into your mouth. 

Your tongues are dancing together, neither one of you trying to control the other. Pedro uses his grip on your ass to roll your hips forward and you can feel that he’s hard underneath his criminally thin shorts. You could feel his full length graze across your pussy, causing you to break the kiss and jolt your head back in a surprised moan. He keeps rolling your hips onto him and reaches forward to attach his lips to your neck, leaving sloppy wet kisses. 

A knock on the door makes both of you freeze. You jump out of Pedro’s lap and rush back to the makeup chair. You fix the wig slightly and look over at Pedro as he adjusts himself before going back into the same lounging position he held when you had first noticed him. The door opens slightly and Taylor announces herself before entering. “Sorry it took so long. There was a change in how they want your hair for your sex scene coming up.” You face flushes and she begins to take the wig off. Ignoring Pedro’s presence, the two of you hold a small conversation until she finishes up and excuses herself. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

“I need to get this costume off. Can you turn around or something while I change real quick?” You say as you grab the black and white plaid pajama pants and black hoodie you showed up in. He turns around and you get dressed quickly, letting him know when he could look again. You walk across the trailer and bend over to search your tote bag for your micellar water and cotton pads to remove your makeup. 

“You look so good in these pants baby.” Pedro grabs both sides of your hips and presses himself against your ass. You stand up and he’s leaning to whisper in your ear, “You wanna come over to my place?” You can’t help but laugh.

“Are you always this fuckboyish when you’re horny?” You say, finally being able to be the one who teased him and not the other way around. 

“Only for you baby.” He winks and lets out a laugh. 

The car ride to his place was quiet. When you agreed to come over, he insisted that he could drive you to his place and would drive you home. You didn’t fight back much, not even thinking about your car that still sat in the studio parking lot. You had your arm propped up on the center console with your hand supporting your chin, staring at Pedro. His hand was placed on your thigh, his thumb moving up and down slightly tickling you. 

You couldn’t help but admire him. Pedro was truly one of the most handsome men you had ever come across. He was so…beefy. His legs looks so good in those shorts and the way his shirt stretched around the top of his arm was torture. You were so fucking horny it was crazy. You wanted nothing more than to feel the warmth of Pedro and feel his length graze against you again. You weren’t sure exactly what Pedro had planned when he asked you to come over but you were hoping it involved more kissing. You really liked kissing him. 

The car comes to a stop and you notice that he’s pulling into a garage. When you asked him where he lived before, he had mentioned that he had a small place but this house was far from small. It wasn’t a huge mansion but it was a respectable size, way bigger than your own apartment. When you open your car door, Pedro is already walking over to your side and offering his hand, which you take happily. He closes the garage door, locks the car, and leads you into a small mudroom. He removes his shoes, you follow, and the two of you walk down a small hallway into a living room.

The room was pretty normal. There was a brown ‘L’ shaped couch along the back wall accompanied by a matching brown recliner to the right of the room. On the opposite wall of the couch, there was a giant flat screen attached to the wall with a dark wooden entertainment stand underneath that was littered with random items. He had a few pictures scattered across the walls and a small display case of awards he had won. 

He sits on the couch and he pulls you down to straddle his lap again. This time it was much more innocent than the first. He has his arms lazily wrapped around you and you have your arms around his neck, resting your head on the right one. 

“Your house is so nice P. It’s so you.” You say into his cheek. 

He lets out a light chuckle and you feel the vibration from his chest on yours. “Thank you sweetheart.” You hum in response. 

“Are you ready for our intimacy coaching?” He asks genuinely.

“Uh, yea I think so. I’m a little nervous though.” You take a moment to think about just how much sex Pedro’s character is having in this movie. He has to have intimacy training and intimacy scenes with eleven other women. You know it’s just his job, but you can’t help the tinge of jealousy that you feel in your chest. “Have you started any of your other ones yet?” You're hoping he couldn’t hear the slight irritation in your voice. 

“Yea. I finished all the training and started filming with some of the girls already.” He says nonchalantly. 

“Oh…that’s cool.” You know for sure he could hear the staggering in your voice this time. You’re trying really hard to keep a professional, but what both of you have done behind closed doors is far from professional. He turns his head to look down at you. 

“What’s wrong baby?” He asks with concern and you realize from the tension in your lips that you have a very noticeable pout on your face. 

“It’s nothing.. ‘s stupid.” You lower your head to hide your face. 

“‘s not stupid if it’s got you all pouty like that sweet girl.” He’s rubbing the back of your head so gently, it could put you right to sleep.

“It’s really stupid P…” You raise your head to look at him. “.. just the thought of you being that close and intimate with other women makes me feel a little jealous . Like I know it’s your job and all but I’m starting to really like you and I don’t-” 

“You like me?” He’s smiling from ear to ear and you could feel the heat rising to your face, not realizing you had said it outloud. 

“I mean yea P. You’re a total catch, what’s not to like…” You trail off, trying your best not to shy away from this moment, from him. 

“I like you too Y/n.” His smile is still big. You can feel your tummy erupt. 

“I need you to really promise me that you like me, okay? I really don’t want to get hurt by you.” You’re holding your pinky up, just like the day you had met him. 

“I promise baby.” He locks his pinky with yours and gives your hand a tender kiss. 

You lay your head back down and you both accept the silence around you, living in the moment of the confessions made. Last time you checked the clock, it was ten at night. It was late and Pedro’s lap was far too comfy for you to care about going home tonight. Your head was feeling heavy and you were slipping into a delirious state due to your lack of sleep after a long day of working.

“You know, when my agent first told me that you were the lead when I auditioned, I had no idea who you were.” Your voice comes out barely above a whisper.

“Thanks baby, that really knocks a few notches off my ego.” He laughs and that slight rumble from his chest is intoxicating. You could see the rise of his left cheek from where your head still laid on your arm that was still draped over his shoulders. You liked making him smile. He had such a nice smile.

“Hm, maybe that’s why the universe brought me to you, to humble you.” Another soft chuckle leaves his mouth. You also loved making him laugh- it was a sound you were glad to have the pleasure of hearing. 

“Anyways, that’s not the point. After I met you at the audition, I may or may not have looked you up.” You don’t know why you’re telling him this. 

“Did you find anything interesting?” He turns his head to look down at you, his eyebrow slightly raised, a cocky smirk present. His right hand starts to caress your back slowly. 

“Eh not really… I did watch your vanity fair lie detector test though.” You purposely leave out how many times you rewatched the first 20 seconds of the video, just to hear his laugh. 

“Oh yea? What did you think?” He’s still looking at you but there's a different look on his face this time, one you haven’t seen before. 

“You look really good in pink.” Your lips turn up to give him a small smile as you think about your next words. “So, uh, daddy’s a state of mind huh?” His hand stops rubbing your back and he turns his head abruptly, looking in the other direction. You burst into laughter at his reaction. “I’m just teasing, come here.” You tug on his right shoulder trying to get him to look at you again but he doesn’t budge. Setting your hands on his shoulders for support, you move yourself to sit straight up, still straddling his lap. Pedro turns his head to look at you and your hands grab his face- you can feel a slight warmth from the blush that was there just moments before. 

“I forgot all about that, it’s so embarrassing…” He leans his head down slightly causing his cheeks to squish in your hands. 

“‘s not embarrassing, it was really fucking funny, but not embarrassing.” He doesn’t budge. “You can be my daddy.” You say in a teasing matter. His head jolts up causing you to drop your hands back down to his shoulder. His eyes were wide and you could’ve sworn you felt movement near the inner corner of your thigh that just so happens to be right next to his- 

“Do you want me to drive you home baby, it’s..” He trails off to grab his phone to check the time. “Shit.. it’s almost 3am.” He sits his phone back down 

“Why’d you change the subject? You don’t wanna be my daddy?” You really wanted to get a reaction out of him. You’re staring deep into his eyes and you feel that slight press against your thigh again. 

“You can’t just say stuff like that sweet girl…” His hands trail down your back, past your ass, and he wiggles them just under your thighs. Before you even realize what’s happening, Pedro is standing up, arms hooked under your legs. You throw your arms around his neck. 

“Pedro put me down please.” You were starting to panic. You’d never had someone even attempt to pick you up and the thought of how heavy you might be in his arms right now is stressing you the fuck out. He starts walking but you can’t see where, nothing but the fading living room in your sight. “P, please. I’m too heavy, please just put me down.” He ignores your pleas. Pedro stops walking for a moment and you hear what you assume is a door clicking open before he continues to walk again. 

“Here sweet girl.” He’s setting you down on the edge of a king sized bed. “I’m not really up to date on any of the new dating rules or anything but um if you wanted, you could stay here tonight.” He’s rubbing the back of his neck and he seems nervous. Your heart burst into flames. 

Dating

“We’re dating?” You’re looking at him with a big smile. 

“Uh yea, I mean uh, only if you want to. I’d love to take you out sometime, on a proper date and everything.” He’s looking at the floor. 

You hop off the bed and wrap your arms around him in a big hug, to which he returns, leaving light kisses on your head. 

“I’d love to stay tonight.” 

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝ 

Thank you for reading <3

next chapter

series tag list: @nuetralcolorsenthusiast @kungfucapslock

*If you wish to be added to the tag list, leave a comment on this post letting me know! <3

[burntheedges-updates]

over again, chapter 1

This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges

Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming. or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it)18+ minors DNI chapter tags/warnings: fluff, flirting, light angst, cursing, no use of y/n, no description of reader (see note below), smallish age difference (reader is 26, Joel is 32/almost 33 when they meet in 2000) (small for this fandom, anyway) (the smut comes later, y'all, we're just getting started here) a/n: Well, here we go! This is part 1. This fic is completely finished. It’s a 5+1 and for some of the 5 parts I’ll post them together (on Sundays) and for some I’ll post them separately (on Sundays and Wednesdays) just due to length. Obviously I'm posting this one early (lol). I’ll tell you whatever the schedule is for the different parts. I've paid a lot of attention to the reader's description in this fic. I've avoided skin color, hair type, body shape/size descriptions, and even clothing (except for one or two spots where you are specifically wearing jeans and boots). You are vaguely shorter than Joel. He does not run his fingers through your hair, and you feel the blood rush to your face or your face heat, but you don't turn red or pink. Please tell me if you notice anything I missed - I want this to be as inclusive as possible. word count: 1724 (for this part) series main post & chapter list | series playlist (w/ plot-related mix) ao3 | chapter 2

Chapter 1: Meet Cute

Jackson, Early Winter, 2023

You’ve been heading northwest from somewhere in Kansas, thinking you’ve never bothered going out this way, even Before, so why not? It’s been months since you saw another person. You’re not even sure the last time you spoke out loud. 

You blame the lengthy isolation for how easily they get the jump on you. 

It's just after dawn when you're rudely awakened - at first, you’re not sure why, but a second kick to your hip sends you scrambling to sit up in your sleeping bag, which is tangled around your legs. Looking around as you struggle, you realize you’re surrounded by people on foot and on horseback. Every single one of them is pointing a gun at you. You glance to the side and realize your backpack along with anything possibly useful inside of it has been kicked away from you. The woman who kicked you has a steely look in her eye that reminds you, in your half awake state, of the last boss you had Before. 

“State your business.” As she speaks you notice the two men closest to her start to fan out a bit, but you don’t dare look away from her.

“I’m just passing through, I’ve been looking for a good place to spend the winter.”

Or, that’s what you would have said, if not for the voice from your past shouting your name in shock just as you open your mouth. “No goddamn way, is that really you?”

You think you must be hallucinating, because everyone you knew Before is dead, but then Tommy fucking Miller pushes his way in front of the woman who spoke. For a moment you can’t do more than stare at each other — him with his gun hanging limply in his right hand, you with your legs still tangled in your godforsaken sleeping bag. Then you launch into motion and start to kick it away as you find your voice. It comes out shaky. Or maybe you’re shaking all over.

“Tommy? But — you’re alive? Where the hell have you been? Wait, are Joel and—“

Tommy cuts you off as he pulls you to your feet and into a tight hug. “Holy shit, we thought you were dead. Holy fucking shit.”

“We? Tommy wait, are they—“

Tommy pulls back, keeping hold of your shoulders as he looks you in the eye. He’s grinning, his eyes wandering all over your face. “He’s alive, sunshine. Or he was when he came through here about a month ago. We’re expecting them back in the spring.”

You can feel your heart racing and your whole body feels hot and tingly. You’re overwhelmed. You didn’t think you could still feel hope like this. It’s terrifying, but you have to know. “He’s- Them? They’re both alive? Sarah?”

You know the answer before he even says anything. Tommy’s face falls, his eyes drop from yours, and you feel it like a sucker punch, as bad as it was the first time around. Your knees give out even though this is what you’ve known, or tried to convince yourself must be true, for 20 years. Tommy falls gently with you to the ground.

Your baby girl. “Oh god, Sarah. And Joel, he must have been—“

“Yeah, sunshine. He thought he lost you both. It wasn’t… well. It wasn’t good.” 

You’re starting to feel numb. You have no idea what your face is doing right now, but judging by Tommy’s, it isn’t pretty. 10 minutes ago you were alone in the apocalypse, and suddenly you’re face-to-face with your almost-brother-in-law and you know, without a doubt, that your fiancé hasn’t been dead this whole time. Is this shock? It’s been 20 years since you felt a shock like this. Since you felt anything like this. 

“Tommy, I… I need to sit down.”

“Well, you are sitting down, sunshine. But get up, gather your stuff. You can come to town with us. Stay as long as you’d like.” You nod, unsteady, and Tommy guides you carefully towards what must be his horse. 

The day passes in a daze. You think you might actually be hallucinating, or still back in your sleeping bag, dreaming, because a whole, functional town? A commune, and a house they’re just going to let you have as your own? A real community? With your only remaining family, miraculously alive? It’s impossible. You float through the rest of the day and find yourself sitting on a bed in a house with indoor plumbing that somehow belongs to you, having just eaten real food in the company of the family you thought you lost 20 years ago.

You give up and go to sleep. (What else are you going to do?)

...

As you settle into life in Jackson, the knowledge that you might see Joel — your Joel, any day now — never leaves your thoughts. It’s like a drum beat at the back of your mind that only repeats his name, marking time every hour of every day. You don’t know how you’ll prepare yourself for it. How could you? You haven’t seen him in 20 years. Anything could be different. You can so easily picture him with a daughter, but it’s Sarah in your mind, not Ellie, who Tommy has told you a bit about. Every time you open those old wounds that you’ve done your best to bury it hurts like the first time. Would he still want you? Still know you? Do you still know him? Would Ellie like you? You can’t imagine not knowing Joel, or Joel not knowing you, but it’s been 20 years and people change. You’ve changed, after all. Some days you barely recognize yourself. 

You express these fears to Tommy once, but he only laughs and says his brother may be stupid but he’s not stupid enough not to want you. It’s reassuring and rude, so, exactly like Tommy. At least some things never change.

The day Joel Miller walks back into Jackson you happen to be standing on the road near the gates, talking to Tommy, and you swear he spots you in less than 5 seconds. It’s like you can’t help but look to each other first, even when you don’t know the other is alive, even when you haven’t seen each other in 20 years. You’d know the shape of him anywhere and your eyes have never stopped looking for it, never stopped catching on a set of shoulders, a cocked hip, a tilted head, only to be disappointed when it faded like a mirage. When the person in front of you didn’t fit the hole he left behind. It hurt every time. Maybe it’s been the same for him. 

Joel looks like he’s seen a ghost, and you have no idea what expression is on your face, but the moment you lock eyes all you see is the moment you first met, almost 24 years ago, like a film negative laid on top of what’s really in front of you. He’s older, of course, but so are you, and he’s still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen.

He steps towards you and whispers your name like a prayer.

Joel fucking Miller. 

Austin, Summer 2000

It was a Saturday morning in late summer, so not yet the hottest part of the day, but not comfortable, either. Your belongings were steadily moving from the truck to your new rental house under your somewhat careful supervision when movement from the house next door caught your eye. You looked up just as one of the guys from the moving company almost dropped your nightstand off the back of the truck, distracting you from the sight of a young girl, maybe about 10, rocketing out of the house next door and down her front steps. She was wearing a bright green soccer uniform.

By the time your nightstand had been righted and you looked back towards your neighbors’ house, she’d made her way to the bushes between your driveways, standing on her tiptoes and taking in all of the commotion. She met your eye and grinned. You grinned back as she called, “Hi, new neighbor!” 

You walked over, stopping on the other side of the bush to introduce yourself. “Hi there, neighbor.” 

It didn’t seem possible, but she grinned even wider. “I’m Sarah, that’s my dad.”

You looked up, realizing there was a man coming down their steps towards the two of you — the most attractive man you’d ever seen in your life. He was tall, with broad shoulders and the look of a man who spent a lot of time in the sun, tan lines peeking out of his shirt sleeves. His brown curls were a bit messy and his shoulders and strong arms drew your eye like a magnet. You caught yourself giving him a quick once over and felt your face start to warm, embarrassed, but when you met his eyes again you caught him doing the same to you. You realized you were both caught and you smiled, introducing yourself. 

“Nice to meet you, darlin’. Joel Miller, and I think you’ve met Sarah.” You felt your face turn hot at the endearment but you knew he probably didn’t mean anything by it. Southern hospitality and all. “Welcome to the neighborhood.”

You’d opened your mouth to respond when you were rudely interrupted by a crashing noise from the moving truck behind you, and you whirled around to see a box on its side on the ground that definitely should not have been. You glanced back at your neighbors as you excused yourself. “It’s great to meet you! Sorry, I need to see what that was.”

They shooed you along before you could even finish your sentence, reassuring you that they understood. “Let me know if anything broke, darlin,’ I’m pretty handy, could probably fix it. It’d be my pleasure.” He smiled at you a bit, just on one side, edging towards a smirk, and you did your best not to stare at his mouth. “Deal,” you agreed, grinning. Both you and Joel seemed unable to draw your eyes away from each other. You were stuck, pinned in place under his gaze until Sarah tugged on his arm and dragged him towards their truck. “Dad, we’re gonna be late!”

The view from the back was just as nice as the front. 

...

a/n: ch 2 is up!

taglist: @morgaussy

[igncrxntripley]

HEYY GIRL IM BACK

okayy i feel so goofy asking for specific smuts BUT can it just start out as a regular match after a breakup ( reader & rhea arent on good terms rn ) and they work things out towards the end? like they admit that theyve both been thinking about eachother all the time & stuff. regular smut & switch rhea & reader pleasee

ty for replying so fast 🙏 my rhea obsession is an emergency

forgiveness

a/n: two posts in one day...i'm wild

mentions: NSFW 18+, smut, fighting/volatile relationships, heated makeouts, grinding/scissoring, touching, fem!reader, switch!reader, switch!rhea, slight break of kayfabe (use of rhea's real name), minor descriptions of in-ring violence

taglist: @thesithdiaries @cassiesgreta @roseheartsworld @theworldofotps @babybatlover @ripleyswhore @auburnwrites​ @obl1vionblackhart​ @emogoblin-666​ @hereliespumpkin​ @blxxdshxteyes @neptune-lover​ @bunnysmyname​ @i-have-issues-lol @ares-athena​ @thatonepansexual2000​ @witcherfromwallachia

work used to be your safe place. you could go and be with your friends, meet amazing fans, and do what you loved every single day. who wouldn't want that for themselves?

that all changed, though, when you and demi broke things off. the two of you loved one another but the stress of your jobs and constantly being on the road took its toll. the rare times where you and demi got to see one another were spent screaming and fighting, and the last time you spoke to one another was the day she stormed out of the house with her bags and called it quits. you never thought you'd be so happy but so sad to see the woman you love leave, but since then nothing had been the same.

you didn't even see how badly demi was struggling with it either. every night she wanted to pick up the phone and call you; she wanted to apologize, pretend like nothing happened and move on with you. but how could she after saying the things she said? after storming out of the house rather than talking through your issues like a regular couple? both of you had fucked up numerous times during your relationship, but demi still hadn't forgiven herself for what she'd done.

the best part? both of you had to go to work like nothing was wrong. every week on the road, it never failed that you saw one another backstage. you always hoped with how many people were backstage at a time that you could avoid her, but with your luck that wasn't going to happen.

the cherry on top of it all? you had a match against her. yep, you and your ex - in a ring together, for twenty minutes at least, needing to practically be on top of one another.

your life was an actual fucking joke at this point.

from the moment you walked out into the ring from gorilla and saw rhea standing there, you felt nauseous. practically everyone in the audience knew about what had happened and they just kept staring at the both of you. but you kept up your character to the best of your ability, doing what you needed to do to get through this nightmare of a match you were about to have.

it almost felt...wrong. to have your hands on demi in any way shape or form. sure, this was rhea ripley and not demi. you were both in character. you were putting on the personas that the audiences were familiar with. but as you and demi grappled on the mat and inflicted physical pain on one another, it continued to bring up all of those unresolved feelings.

each hit, slap, kick, tug of the hair...it was an accessory to the words you'd spat at each other in your arguments over the last few months. not only that, but rhea ripley was known for tormenting her opponents. she wasn't above getting in their face and giving them a piece of her mind; and you best believe she did the same thing with you.

at one point, demi was straddling you in the ring. both of you breathless with exhaustion, you absolutely a mess both physically and emotionally, and rhea was clearly in her feelings about everything as well. the last straw, though, was when she leaned in closer to your face and said her first words to you since breaking things off.

"you're nothing to me. and you'll never be anything to me."

you saw red the moment she said that to you. whether she said it in character or meant it, you didn't care; she knew what she was doing by saying it. it was like the crowd and the cameras disappeared, and the absolute rage in your body overpowered everything else and you unleashed hell on her. that anger gave you the opportunity to end the match and deliver a finisher, and while normally winning felt amazing...this felt like garbage.

--- ---

alone time in your dressing room gave you way too much time to think about everything that had gone on the ring. you couldn't erase the look on demi's face as she stood over you...the sound of her voice telling you that you meant nothing to her when you'd given so much of yourself to her during your relationship. but apparently you meant nothing? you could barely comprehend it.

a knock at the slightly open door brought you out of your thoughts, but the sight of demi changed out of her ring gear and freshly showered sobered you up real fast. "don't even think about coming in here and talking to me after the shit you pulled out there." you mumbled, already standing up and looking to make your escape.

demi blocked the doorway and closed the door, a gentle look on her face replacing the one riddled with intimidation and anger from earlier in the night. "i just want to talk to you." she said softly. "i know you're pissed, because i would be too. but i just need to talk."

you hesitated, but eventually you gave a small nod and sat back down on the couch. "start talking, then." you mumbled, watching as demi took her spot on the coffee table in front of you.

she ran a nervous hand through her hair and let out a shaky breath before she finally managed to talk to you. "i didn't mean what i said out there." she said softly. "i...i didn't mean any of the horrible things i ever said to you."

you wanted to believe demi, but how could you? the last half of your relationship with her was filled with fights. you'd internalized all of the awful things she'd managed to say to you, whether she meant them or not, and she was just now saying she didn't mean it? "demi, i-"

"no, y/n. i promise." she said quickly with a gentle shake of her head. "i regret all of it. i hate that i ever hurt your feelings or made you cry because that wasn't my intention. i was just...i'd get so angry that i would start saying things but never actually thought of how they would hurt you." you knew when demi was serious...and the this was the most serious you'd seen her in a long time. "i know you probably hate me, but i still really care about you."

her words made your stomach flip; butterflies erupted, knowing that she meant what she was saying. but the pain lingered from everything that had gone on during your relationship. your heart was speaking a lot louder than your brain though, and as you gently reached for demi's hand you spoke up for the first time since she entered the room. "i still really care about you, too."

demi's face lit up like a lightbulb as the realization that not all hope was lost. her free hand came forward to hold your cheek, both of you slowly inching closing to one another until your noses gently touched. "let me show you." she whispered before finally catching you in a gentle kiss.

your next moves were almost a complete blur; the tension had changed around you and demi to not so much angry tension, but this time one of a sexual nature. the two of you hurried in between kisses to remove articles of clothing until there was nothing left, your hands exploring one another's bodies for the first time in weeks. even though it had been some time away from demi, you personally hadn't been with anyone else; the pain was still too real, too fresh for you to introduce another person to this level of intimacy. but this - having demi in this way - it felt so normal. like you hadn't skipped a beat.

her kisses moved down from your lips to your neck and collarbone. demi was quick to adjust herself so you were both sat with your legs interlocked with one another, your bare centers pressed against one another and the heat of the moment causing both of you to moan and whine with anticipation. "dems..." you mumbled breathlessly, your fingers tangling in her hair to keep her as close as possible.

nothing else needed to be said; she knew what you needed, because she needed it just as badly. a small gasp left your lips as demi slowly began to move against you, her arms tightening around your body in response. "look at me, baby." she whispered, leaning your foreheads together as you made eye contact and moaned against one another. as she moved and created friction against your clit, you moved your own hips against her to give demi the same sensation. "you're so beautiful. can't want to feel you cum against me like you used to."

once again, demi's words drove you crazy. you whimpered, your ankles locking behind demi's back to keep her there and move a little faster. as the two of you moved and kissed, it only brought both of you closer and closer to a climax that neither of you had experienced in so long - let alone one the two of you shared - and that thought alone made you cling to demi as if she was going to slip away. "wanna cum with you." you mumbled.

demi smiled, your sweaty forehead leaning against her shoulder while you let out soft incoherent mumbles of the same few words. please...baby...demi...need you...

all of that alone, along with the increased speed creating more friction against your bodies, caused both you and demi to reach your highs at about the same time. you leaned back on your hands with a gasp as your thighs trembled. "fuck...oh fuck!" you whimpered. demi wasn't far behind, her own body shaking with euphoria as she finished as well. she was quick though to pull you closer to her body again, running a hand through your hair and exchanging kisses to work both of you down from your climax.

you opened your eyes to look at demi, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. "i think i forgive you." you teased softly, demi's fingers twirling your hair as you cuddled with one another.

[bougiebutchbinch]

saying it again, but louder

I think people are struggling to differentiate between Watsonian and Doylist criticism again.

Us saying that Izzy is a specific type of disability rep =/= us downplaying the other characters' disabilities (or actors' disabilities and/or facial differences).

We're saying that he was PORTRAYED in a specific way that centred his arc on disability - hence why every. single. post I make talking about his importance as disability rep contains the words 'THE ONLY ONE WHOSE ARC REVOLVES AROUND HIS DISABILITY'. But somehow that goes over some of your heads, lol.

His disability is the only one to significantly affect the narrative.

Yes, the other disabled characters are still disabled.

No, you don't get to point at their disabilities which are downplayed and made light of by the writing, constantly, and claim they are perfectly swappable substitutes for Izzy.

Rep which makes light of disability is important. If that's the sort of rep you need, good for you.

Rep which deals with traumatic disability, a complete loss of self-esteem, and a slow, gradual realisation of your enduring self-worth, helped by a mobility aid literally built for you by your support network, who stand by you in your lowest, most self-hating, substance-abusing moments and still love you?

That's important too.

And ending that arc in death because he 'had nothing more to live for' and expecting this to be read as a 'happy/kind ending', is, in fact, going to read as pretty fucking gross to a whole bunch of us who've been there ourselves. Or are still Going Thru It.

Until you learn that when we criticise representation, we're not literally talking about the 'characters', who are fictional constructs within a fictional world, but how they are written and what these choices say, however inadvertently, about existing prejudice within society of which we have lived experience - I don't think you're mature enough to join this conversation.

[chloecherrysip]

As much as I mourn all the lines that appeared in mario movie trailers but for some reason, didn't make it to the finished product (RIP "I'm not afraid! I'd do anything for my brother!" YOU LIVE ON IN MY HEART ALWAYS AND FOREVER), I've been thinking about "I hope you told your brother how much you love him, because you're probably never gonna see him again" and the rest of that whole dialogue exchange in particular from this specific trailer and how much I wish we'd gotten that moment because I think it would have helped spotlight a vital aspect of Mario's character that the movie already does a REALLY good job with getting across in the first place: the way he communicates how he feels through action and acts of service instead of words!

(more under the cut because this got too long, haha)

Mario is usually a very quiet protagonist so this tracks with the games too, obviously, but even movie!Mario seems like someone who isn't overly verbose or who's especially eager to enter into heavy, feelings-based conversations (at least not without a struggle). Talking about his feelings might not come easy to him, and he maybe even forgets to say things outloud that to him, seem obvious. (Meanwhile, I think Luigi is always up for gushing about his favorite people (see the interrogation scene lol) and probably ends every phone call/text message exchange ever with "love you!" to Mario and his parents, to the point that he might accidentally say it to acquaintances and customers too on occasion, LOL).

So thinking about this exchange with Toad and how, even if the movie didn't acknowledge it past that point, this idea would be hanging over Mario throughout his journey hits harder because you can imagine him thinking: hey, when WAS the last time he told Luigi outright that he loved him that wasn't a distracted "yeah, me too" response to Luigi saying it first? Maybe it's been a long time. Too long. So long it's genuinely upsetting for him to realize! What if his brother doesn't actually know how much Mario loves him, because he does, he does so much, and he's been an idiot for going so long without saying the actual words and now he can't, he CAN'T and he would give anything in the world to go back and do things differently!

And of course, all this panic is totally unwarranted and even silly because I think Luigi knows like his own name how much Mario loves him. Because the audience watching this movie knows how much Mario loves his brother by that point! Mario never says the actual words - in fact, he never says anything particularly positive about Luigi, other than "you were great!" regarding the commercial in the very beginning - and yet it couldn't be any clearer!!! I think it's pretty impossible to come out of this movie (if you were paying attention in the least) not seeing that love plain as day in everything Mario does, down to the littlest things, because he is a man of action and that's how he expresses himself best!

You see it in how he shifts from mildly embarrassed to immediately Intense and Ready To Throw Down on a dime when Spike insults Luigi, you see it in how he pauses to open doors and create paths for Luigi to safely follow him through the construction site as he's parkouring, you see it when the dog becomes aggressive and Mario is just entirely focused on keeping Luigi behind him, pushing him out of harm's way, getting the dog's attention so it will attack him instead, etc. You see it in the warp pipe when his entire demeanor changes the second he realizes Luigi is in trouble, how he desperately paddles to reach him and grab his hand and comfort him about the situation. You see it in how his brother is front of mind for him at every point in his adventure and that's why he fights so hard to talk to Peach, why he agrees to the fight with DK, why he keeps trying even when things seem hopeless and no one believes he can do it. You see it written all over Mario's face during the reunion, every single little way he touches Luigi and brings him closer and checks in on him with crystal-clear relief and joy and gentleness!!! The "show, don't tell" aspect is just OFF THE CHARTS IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE because that's how Mario is. He's not so good at words and remembering to say them. When he loves someone, he wears that feeling, he lives that feeling in so much of what he chooses to do and how he interacts with the world, and while it's always good to say these things outloud now and then just to be clear everyone's on the same page (and I'm sure he does after the movie, haha), it doesn't make it any less meaningful. :)

[no-psi-nan]

The first chunk of this post addresses some of your points but to answer it more directly, you're confusing Teruhashi's canon character arc of ADMITTING she likes Saiki with a non-existent arc where she falls in love with who he truly is (which is impossible until he does a power reveal and starts being himself around her for real).

Teruhashi doesn't ever get to know the real Saiki, nor does anyone know him outside of the Psychickers and his family (relevant post).

She thinks he's a guy who sits quietly in the corner and only ever says "good grief". She doesn't know he's a sarcastic mfer who loves to talk back and snark, she doesn't know he spends his free time reading obscure books and playing shitty video games, she doesn't know he'd move heaven and earth to help a stranger and put his life on the line to help a friend.

Teruhashi actually hated the most "real" moment Saiki has been, when they're at the mall/arcade and Saiki smokes her at every single game mercilessly lmao (Saiki won't even let Kaido or Nendo win a game against him, he's extremely opposed to losing). Where's the evidence that Teruhashi would actually LIKE someone who backtalks her and challenges her assumptions? She sure was quick to put Imu in her place lol. And this issue even harkens back to Volume 0, where Saiki questions why girls keep falling in love with him when he's essentially masquerading as a lamp post.

I have a whole post about the karaoke scene specifically too and battled Tumblr to find it for you (I forgor how long ago I wrote this 😳)

So yeah, Teruhashi finally admits to herself that she's in love with a guy that she barely knows anything about, and yet in the final episodes she struggles to compliment him to his grandfather, which hurts his feelings hsfjdlshfks rip.

You'll have to excuse me for not thinking that this is the height of romance lol.

[bakedbananners]

Not sure if this is allowed, but i absolutely adore your work, “The Cuckoo’s Egg” on AO3!! Very interesting to read, and realistic too, and i’m also just in love with how descriptive your writing is! Not mention the way you write dissociation and the struggles that come with having DID/OSDD, its so good. If i may ask, how do you view Mob and Shigeo’s (???%) relationship in the work, or just overall?

omg of course! it’s allowed!! thank you for enjoying my fic 😭 !!!

It’s still a WIP, obviously. Even though I haven’t updated it in uhhhhhh A While lol. I’ve written out bits of later chapters that go a bit more into it. Not so explicitly but basically their relationship is like this:

Shigeo is entropy, a spark that ignites as easily as it dissipates, a self-state that coagulates around a specific moment of emotion and burns through it. His existence is meant to be paradoxical, passing between observable and non-observable- like dark matter. He is emotional and volatile, highly reactive with like zero actual coping skills. Being denied feeling anything for so long, when he is essentially feeling incarnate, makes him extremely sensitive to perceived slights specifically from Mob. Because Mob was the one to deny him everything, and his entire world was reduced down to Mob. He feels one thing at a time, even if they’re fleeting sensations, and follows them with a single-minded intensity. He fronts for a specific purpose and steps back when he’s done with it, only truly defined as being whatever Mob is not. So getting along is like a catch-22, in a sense, at least until Shigeo’s gut-reaction to Mob stops being negative :’|

Mob is a framework, a rigid concept. He’s supposed to be rationality, reason, and “normalcy”. Because this is his nature, he’s diametrically opposed to Shigeo. They butt heads constantly, keep walls up and don’t communicate well outside of arguing and finger-pointing. However this is meant to be a temporary state, because during the time of the fic is when Shigeo is processing things, which can be very emotionally difficult because you look back on a lot of things you thought were fine and have to understand that it was very fucked up. Not only that, but Shigeo is an isolated case- insofar as he’s aware- and lacks the language to explain what he went through/ is going through. They do love each other, but that can make it hurt even more when someone you love makes you suffer a lot, so there’s a deep bitterness between them.

Note that when I write Shigeo oftentimes his identities are blended, and they’re not completely separate distinct alters unless it’s deep in the headspace. I keep it pretty vague because identity confusion and ambiguity is a main pillar of what the fic is about.

[squarebracketsmileyface]

will Tim chest/breastfeed Birdie? apologies if its a weird question, i just was wondering if there were reasons Tim hasn't gotten top surgery (or at least not yet) other than he either just chose not to/can't afford it at the moment. and i confess, something about seahorse dads/gnc birth parents feeding their babies the old fashioned way just makes my heart happy :D

Not a weird question at all :D

Tim during MH/S,IL currently doesn't have top surgery because he can't afford it and because he wouldn't be able to heal it properly if he could afford it. He's very aware of how the whole "masked state" thing could impact healing a surgery like that. Masky kinda does whatever he wants and Tim knows that "whatever he wants" usually doesnt include going to A&E or whatever when hes injured (broken leg incident, my headcanon is that Tim had to get that leg rebroken and set properly at some point because it healed wrong and left him with chronic pain and a limp, tho I haven't mentioned that in S,IL lol, it's just in my head constantly).

Also I guess medical trauma would have at least some role to play in the decision too currently? Later on he'd probably work through some of that, but currently he's probably not comfortable with much more medical treatment than just seeing his GP. Like, going to A&E or into an actual hospital isn't something he'll completely refuse to do, but it definitely puts him in a very specific and traumatized state of mind. Maybe even triggers Masky to front and Masky's way to fix that feeling of "oh god oh god oh god this is just like when we were a kid" is to simply leave no matter how important it was for them to be there 💀

But yeah! :D

he'd chest feed Birdie, since he's definitely not having top surgery between December 2013 and May 2014. I think he'd probably wait until Birdie was able to look after herself before he has top surgery, since he is a single dad until Birdie is like, 10ish, and top surgery does require you to rest a lot to recover from. Sure he's made a few friends in the pickup line at Birdie's school, but none of them he'd call close enough to ask for that sort of help from. And he's not in contact with his mum and doesn't have a dad, so he can't even ask for help from them, he's completely on his own unfortunately.

So honestly if Brian didn't come back into his life when Birdie was 10, he'd probably be waiting until Birdie was at least sorta 18 ish before he got top surgery, so he'd know she'd be okay and he'd also be able to rely on her to help him a bit after surgery, like, driving him home from the hospital after surgery and all that stuff. Thankfully Brian does come back into his life though so I'm thinking he probably has top surgery when Birdie's maybe 12-14ish? Something like that? Once Brian's properly established in their lives and Tim knows he's not going anywhere and they've reconnected fully so he feels comfortable asking for that kind of support from Brian. Obviously that still has it's own difficulties what with Brian being in a wheelchair, but they make it work, and I do think Brian would have an adaptive vehicle with have controls so he can drive and stuff.

I also love seahorse dads and GNC parents chest feeding and stuff like that, just, trans parents in general, y'know? It's just such a fuck you to society, especially a transphobic society and a society that doesn't expect fathers to be as involved in the care of their children as it expects mothers to. Tim being a single dad is already a great big middle finger to that stupid narrative of dads not being involved in childcare, and then him also being so involved in feeding Birdie as a baby too, idk, there's just something special about it to me.

I feel like chest feeding would definitely be something he finds kinda conflicting, like, he loves it because that's his baby he's looking after, but also I think it'd bring him a very specific brand of dysphoria so he really struggles with it mentally too. He definitely wouldn't end up chest feeding Jesse (his theoretical kid with Brian) later down the line. Mostly because I feel like at that point he'd have had top surgery and idk if you can still chest feed after that, I'm assuming no though, but also because even if he hadn't had top surgery, the dysphoria the first time just wouldn't be something he'd wanna have to deal with again, yknow? It was awful and he really really struggled with it, so it's not something he wants to put himself through again.

But yeah :D

[fernsnailz]

OH ALSO. ik you said something abt how some aspects of your feelings on the shth game have changed - what would you say is different now? (again feel free to ignore this)

oh yeah! overall, most of my feelings about shth2005 have remained the same - that game is a contradictory mess and i adore it. i mostly have a few minor grievances with my big shadow 2005 analysis essay. i'll talk under the cut about some specific moments that i think a little differently on - if you haven't read the big shadow essay, i'd say read it first and then come back to read this post.

grievance #1: The Doom

"being Good or Neutral around Maria makes WAY more sense than taking the Dark path. The game’s morality system breaks so badly in [The Doom] that things start to make sense again."

i still mostly agree with my thoughts on The Doom, and the game's failure in design affecting the morality system is something that i think could prompt further discussion. but a couple of people pointed out that the hero mission is still an interesting indicator to shadow's emotional state on the darker paths, and i don't want to completely discredit that concept because i like it a lot.

The Doom's hero mission is grueling. 60 gun soldiers to defeat in a maze level is not something most players would be willing to do. but it may be something that shadow is willing to do on a darker path - rage leading him to hunt and eliminate every single human he can find is harrowing, and it's a malevolence that the darker paths of this game fail to really show. so as much as i dislike the morality missions in this game, i do think they're an interesting measurement of the lengths shadow is willing to go to if it means defeating his enemy. the guy just doesn't stop.

grievance #2: boy what on earth is that take about the hero cast

"They want Shadow to work for them because of a desire to prove their side of the cycle is the right one."

i'll be real with you i think there was a bit too much analysis going on here lol. the heroes want shadow's help because there's a literal alien invasion threatening to wipe out all life on earth. are they manipulative towards shadow? i mean sometimes, but i don't think most of them do it out of malice or intentionally, and i definitely don't think they really care about proving their side of the moral compass right during the Fucking Alien Armageddon.

the only hero character that i think would be deliberately manipulative (minus eggman) is sonic, and i don't think he would consciously realize it. best example i have of sonic's occasional manipulative attitude towards shadow is the whole "if he can't be forgiven, can you?" bit from the mr tinker arc in IDW. and this is really only something he does to shadow - sometimes he just wants to get under shadow's skin without realizing what he's actually saying. sometimes sonic's just an asshole! and i like that, it's an interesting aspect to sonic that i wish was explored a little more in shth2005, the game about his rival. idk that's all i have to say here

grievance #3: who is shadow even?

"to him, doing what’s “right” means giving as many people as possible that same chance at life. It’s not a justification of morals or a desire to be heroic that leads Shadow down this path - it’s just what he wants to do."

i've circled around my final opinions in my shadow 2005 essay a lot because honestly. i don't really know where i stand on these thoughts currently lol. shadow is inconsistent enough that i struggle to really pin down what exactly he deems as "right" or what he even wants to do most of the time - it's especially difficult to pin these things down when trying to cover shadow as a whole across the entire franchise, which is what i was trying to do here. because man, does this guy feel all over the place when you look at everything.

i think there's truth in the idea that shadow doesn't really care about protecting the people of sonic's world (this sonic channel story explores that concept a bit). at the same time, i think it's also entirely possible that this "i don't care what happens to others" attitude is a bit of a front he puts up (especially around sonic). and as silly and non-canon as i think the sonic twitter takeovers are, i do think they were kinda cooking something when they made shadow work at a soup kitchen. these are all somewhat different ideas and interpretations of shadow, but i think they're all plausible for this character. personally, i'd rather embrace the inconsistency then try to limit him to one worldview.

the only solid "truth" i can formulate about shadow's motivations right now is this: whatever he deems right, or whatever he wants to do, he decides for himself because it's his life. he doesn't do these things for maria, or for gerald, or for the rest of the world. his choices and actions are his own - maybe inspired by others, but not for them. and the things he decides to do are often inconsistent because he's an immortal, traumatized, teenage hedgehog - a paradoxical creation that's still learning how to live. he might be the ultimate life form, but it's more important to me that he's just shadow.

[exilepurify]

The first OVA for MP100 has really interesting connotations in terms of what Reigen actually knows about Mob’s experiences. Reigen’s the one who’s narrating the recap, so we can assume the perspective and the things he mentions are solely based on his own understanding of the situation.

Obviously the nature of a recap episode is that not every detail can be included, and I recognize that I might be applying meaning to what may just be limitations of the form, but it’s fun to speculate about the meeting of meaning and execution, so why not, right?

When Reigen is describing the events of season 1, he completely skips over Teruki strangling Mob. If it’s meant to be a recap for the audience, the strangling was maybe the most important thing to happen in the whole fight other than the ???% explosion. It’s where Teruki’s worldview starts to break down, it’s a moment where Teruki’s desperation causes him to betray his own moral boundaries (“What am I doing???”), and it’s where we first learn about Mob hurting Ritsu—the inciting incident for quite literally every single thing that happens in the entire plot of Mob Psycho 100. But not only does Reigen not mention those at all, they also don’t show any footage of it happening. It skips directly from the knives to Mob’s ???% explosion.

In the scene that happens in S1E6, where Mob asks Reigen about what qualifies as self defense, Mob mentions balding Teruki, shredding his clothes, destroying his school, and throwing him up in the air, but he doesn’t mention Teruki strangling him to Reigen. Ever.

Mob also never tells Reigen about the incident where he hurt his brother with his ???% explosion as kids. He mentions to Reigen that his powers are dangerous and that he’s scared of hurting people, but his guilt compels him to never mention the specifics of the event to anyone but Ritsu. And directly because of Reigen never knowing the severity of Mob’s concerns, he underestimates Mob’s internal struggles and even trivializes them sometimes, which is why he has the whole “I didn’t know!!!!” moment in the finale. If he knew that guilt was eating Mob alive like that, he would’ve handled it better than he did, obviously.

Instead, Mob writes in that part himself, sitting alone in his bedroom, rather than transcribing what Reigen is narrating. And even when he does write about it, he chooses to say very little in detail. The audience sees the whole scene play out to fulfill the purpose of the recap, but Mob’s internal dialogue—which is reading out in his head what he’s currently writing—says (in the dub bc it’s the one I currently have downloaded for amvs lol), “When my brother, Ritsu, was little, he would get really happy whenever I showed him my powers. But, because I hadn’t learned how to control them, I ended up hurting the brother I loved so much. Because of me, Ritsu…” And from here it transitions immediately to the alley scene. He really doesn’t even say much. When a kid says they hurt their brother, the first things that come to your mind usually aren’t all that serious. It’s pretty common for siblings to hit and bite (sorry to my older sister—I was a biter 😬) and stuff sometimes, especially when young. No one would assume he was talking about pretty serious head trauma from just that.

He does, apparently, know about Mob and Teru torturing Terada via waterboarding. I’m assuming Teru told him that part. It certainly wasn’t Terada. He seems to think the torture is hilarious, though. “*in a laughing, smug voice* This poor soul was tortured and embarrassed. He was in way over his head��literally.” It kinda was, tbf.

Obviously the integrity of the story starts going straight off the rails at this point, with Reigen poorly photoshopping himself into every scene to fulfill his chuunibyou complex. I’m just going to blanket assume that everything Reigen knows about Mob’s actions in the claw division before he arrived there himself comes from a mixture of Mob’s bare-bones reporting and Teruki bragging about the details of power level and technique and stuff.

When it comes to Mob’s 100% rejection and defeating Muto, Reigen openly admits to only knowing of his existence through hearsay and that Mob doesn’t remember how he defeated him. However, for the sake of recap, the audience is shown the full scene of Mob hitting the ceiling on his counter and freaking out, so that’s another interesting dichotomy between Reigen’s understanding of the story vs. what we are shown as the audience in the recap.

And then everything after this point was witnessed by Reigen firsthand, so it’s not so much about his understanding of the situation than it is about the way he’s framing it (which is poorly).

Anyway, it’s super clear that even back in season 1, Reigen had no idea what was actually going on with Mob. And if he did, he didn’t know the ways it was affecting him, or the most heartbreaking details had been fully excluded.

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

What are your opinions on mobius?

*stares at current icon, which is Mobius in a santa outfit, drawn by my friend @cloud-ya*

She’s my favorite character

To be a bit less meme-y and more detailed, her chapter in ER is my favorite part of Honkai— she’s hyped up JUUUST right, painted as this deranged mad scientist and villain, and then you peel back the story through upgrading the vessels and talking to other characters more and you realize there’s more to her.

I love that.

Mobius is undoubtedly fucked up. She’s lacking a bunch of morals, and the ones she does have, like specifically ensuring consent to her experiments (the Sim didn’t but the real one reportedly did) can be very… contractual. Like how she gets Hua to agree to experiments by pushing her— sure, she said yes, but she said yes because they’re desperate and Mobius is insisting, and agreeing to retrieve the box didn’t mean agreeing to get possessed for science. Obviously this isn’t true consent, but on a technicality it respects Mobius’s moral code. It’s like a kid getting asked whether they ate yet who pops a single candy in their mouth then says yes. Honestly I relate to that dhdhdhf

I like this contrast, though!

Another fun thing is that she’s probably the eldest of the Flame-Chasers, and the one who’s worked with MOTH the longest, and she absolutely does not have the patience to be. She’s also super autistic? I relate to her a lot. Did you know that when she gets mad she just plops herself on her couch and pops bubble wrap for hours. Iconic work ethic. I love her.

Her stubborn fascination with life and death leads her to subvert some mad scientist tropes, for example her insistence to humanize the MANTIS. There’s also the way she treats her assistants and creations, very unusual for the archetype which tends to be all SCIENCE and no time to raise anybody.

If you paid attention, for all that she can troll them or punish them a little, she’s never cruel and nurtures them properly.

When she hears Fuxi and Nuwa messed up and tried to hide it she makes them copy the lab safety rules, this was very much a pedagogical decision with their safety in mind, not her taking her anger out on them. In fact I don’t think she really does that at any moment?

Even the Sim (more morally dubious already) attacking Mei is doing it with a set purpose, nothing personal. For such an overtly malicious character she… doesn’t actually act on malice very much lol. At most she’s very selfish, and her curiosity drives her to perform cruel actions, rather than an intent to harm. The rest of the time she’s quite serious, wants what’s best for everyone, on paper that’d be quite pleasant uh?

When there’s interpersonal friction it usually comes down to what you can easily read as neurodivergence; Elysia and Hua observe that Mobius makes no difference between herself and others. In other words, she assumes that what SHE can tolerate, anyone can or should be able to, which isn’t true. Struggling with that stuff is very autistic coded. I relate. It makes her struggles and everyone demonizing her more tragic, too. I’d wager that everyone calling her names and alienating her greatly contributed to her cynical ways, making the issue worse.

Despite all that though, she treats her creations well, and instead of trying to control them she makes a point of giving them the freedom to be themselves and supports their choices, even if she doesn’t agree with them (like trying to push ELF Klein away by showing her what working together would be like, because she thought Klein wouldn’t be able to handle it, but since Klein could she gave up and accepted both that she had projected her anxieties and Klein’s own choice).

Big subversion to mad scientist tropes there! This leads to pretty much all of her creations adoring her (aside from the Sim but like, self-hatred go brrrr).

It makes lots of sense when you keep in mind that she’s also a child abuse survivor. She claims she throws her creations to the wolves because even humans are only left to themselves, but she’s lying.

The sim sacrifices herself for Klein’s sake (both of them lovingly protect and raise Klein), the real one leaves a loving message for her sim, to the Gray Serpents of the early days she was so important that they dedicated themselves to understand what it would mean to follow her wish to be free by CREATING MULTIPLE CULTS, and they still lowkey worship her as their creator after 50 000 years…

Yeah she cares a lot. She cares a lot about Griseo too, as well as other Flame-Chasers, like Eden, Vill-V or Elysia (despite being annoyed).

Her relationship with Vill-V is also interesting, because when Mobius realizes she’s similar to herself, her first impulse is to kill her immediately. Ultimately she doesn’t, but it was really a “recognition of the self through the other (derogatory)” moment. She also warns Vill-V multiple times about the weight of failure, and I think she pretty much sees herself fifteen years younger in her— a brilliant neurodivergent scientist with a few moral screws loose about to get smacked with the reality of the Apocalypse. Really can’t see this as romantic but ymmv.

TLDR

My opinion is that she’s just full of interesting character depth and I just eat that up, especially since I have a particular fondness for morally dubious mom types that care very much deep down.

[scourgepaws]

so. i'm thinking about for true story from the sa2 soundtrack again

when i first played sa2 as a kid twenty years ago i never understood the layers of this song, i just thought it was a banger for the sonic/shadow fight at the end of hero and dark story (which it is a banger to be fair) but as an adult i've been replaying it and realized just how perfect this song is, down to the song's structure itself and the lyrics. let me overanalyze it for a minute

the title itself. For True Story... for Sonic vs. Shadow. it's because the player has to do both of these fights to unlock the true story!! they have to face against each other to get to the truth and get real answers!!

the funky bassline is reminiscent of shadow, controlled and strict. it's also reminding me of him gliding across the ground with his air shoes, it has a more smooth and flowing feeling

the melody above that is fast and sudden, very reminiscent of sonic and his impulsive actions/feelings as well as evoking the feeling of sonic actually running. sonic has to actually propel himself using his own feet compared to shadow gliding, so the footsteps are faster and clustered together

combined together, it gives a feeling of sonic and shadow combined – running alongside each other even... Maybe even on the way to the cannon's core perhaps hmm...

it's been established for a long time now that the lyrics are from shadow's pov. let's look at them

"Stars don't twinkle

The moon doesn't shine

Birds don't sing

The wind doesn't blow

To the pure body

To the perfect existence

I'm shivering with cold

I struggle against despair"

these lyrics repeat themselves multiple times throughout the song but that's all of them. there's so much going on here let's unpack it

at this point in the story, every single thing shadow has ever known is collapsing. he was led to believe by gerald that maria wanted him to destroy the world in revenge, to make everyone suffer for what happened to her. thanks to sonic (and amy specifically really), he has discovered that what he has known isn't the case: maria wanted him to protect the planet, not destroy it, and everything he has known has been a lie.

there's many ways to interpret the lyrics but i interpret them using this angle. he is saying to himself what he was led to know: stars don't twinkle, the moon doesn't shine. birds don't sing, the wind doesn't blow. he was led to not have hope in anything, to not treasure the earth for what it is. his only goal was to destroy it all.

now people are telling him that isn't the case? now that he knows the earth is special, and maria's wish was for him to protect it?

this feeling is hard to understand for anyone who hasn't directly gone through it but having your entire belief system and worldview be ripped out from underneath you, even if it is for the better, is incredibly difficult to come to terms with. so him repeating these things to himself? he's trying to reassure himself with what he knows, because familiarity is comforting. (i also headcanon shadow as autistic because i am diagnosed with autism and i said so lol so do with that what you will)

these are also a reference to the circumstances happening around them at this moment: as they're racing to the core, they're in space. so no birds are singing, there is no wind. the moon also doesn't shine because eggman blew half of it up in the 24 hours previous.

but what makes these lyrics so compelling is that when he is reminding himself of these things, there are direct contradictions happening to it in the song: "the birds don't sing" yet there are birds chirping! it's such a tiny touch but it's so important! why? because it shows that everything around shadow is contradicting this inner monologue that he created for himself. he's so convinced that the birds aren't singing but they're chirping all around him! he's so convinced that he has to destroy the earth but maria actually wanted him to protect it!

aaaaaAAAAAAA it's such good storytelling through music oh my god

and now to the next part about the pure body/perfect existence:

shadow, as the ultimate lifeform, is perfect. he is the embodiment of perfection: highly skilled in combat, talented with logic, and immortal. he has the perfect pure body – one that can never die. but the perfect existence, however, is not him, but sonic himself. just as shadow mentions in the finalhazard fight ("i figured out who the true ultimate lifeform is – it's you!"), sonic is seen as the perfect existence. so, shadow as the pure body, and sonic as the perfect existence. them colliding, yet again. perfect for the battle against each other.

this song is so fucking good!!!

and lastly, the final part with shivering with cold/struggling against despair:

the first part of this could very much be seen as literal: space is cold, and they are in space. however i am overanalyzing this so my true thoughts? he's cold because it's one of the first times where shadow is truly present in his body and not dissociating. i'm diagnosed with a dissociative disorder so i make da rules.... he is perfect, he is the ultimate lifeform, he should be able to regulate himself and his body temperature just fine right? well how can he regulate himself when he's so disconnected from his own body? of course he's going to be cold, because he's been dissociated to hell and back and this is the first time where he isn't, so he's feeling all of the sensations around him that he's never had to feel before. i love my traumatized hedgehog!

and the last lyric, of struggling against despair... that is very obvious in many aspects. shadow is struggling against the despair of his entire life. he's struggling against the despair of having everything he knew and built ripped away from him. he's struggling with the despair of knowing maria is gone and will never come back.

so my Final thoughts...........

for true story is such a banger song with so many layers, and i love sa2 so much it is my favorite game of all time and has been for twenty years now aaa!! and i love shadow and sonadow!!

[whimsicalpoet44]

Something that seems fun that I've seen other people do occasionally is post astro observations based on the current sun sign. So let's see how long I can keep up with it until I forget. 😂

Observations are my own and may not apply to everyone with these placements. And that's okay!

This will likely be oddly specific because I have 5 Sag placements and endless supply of Sag friends and will be generalized to all Sag placements 😂

Sagittarius Astro Observations in Honor of Sagittarius Season

💥 It's a well known fact that Sag Mercurys struggle with their words, but to some degree, I think all Sag placements struggle to communicate what they truly meant. It's just more focused on intent instead of literal communication.

💥 Though they are extroverts, most Sagittarius placements also need a level of solitude and comfortability to function. Your Sagittarius friends are going to be the ones in the corner laughing and talking amongst each other, appearing extroverted. But among themselves and the people they're comfortable with, they'll be planning their escape from the event while gossiping about their observations of others in the group. They're always secretly watching and perceiving, and their goal is to get somewhere they feel comfortable so they can continue to cut up and have fun.

💥 They communicate in sarcasm. Others perceive them as either funny for this or annoying. But Sagittarius individuals can always spot another Sag because they'll joke the exact same way. It's kind of scary to be honest lol As a Sag, talking to other Sag individuals is such a relief because it's like we have our own language at times.

I had a friend group where 3 of us were Sagittarius Suns and one of my friends was a Sag Moon. And we always said just enough to everyone else to appear engaged, but we often spoke to one another in dry and sarcastic jokes. The table often went silent if they overheard us and we would all just look at one another. This has happened to me in other gatherings with other Sag placements as well. (specifically Suns)

💥 This could be controversial, but I think Sag placements have a lot of chemistry with other Sag placements romantically. There's this deep inner understanding of one another As a Sagittarius myself, I find myself most attracted to other Sag individuals and have had similar sentiments said to me from my Sag friends.

Having a mind that works differently from the majority of other signs allows you to easily engage in conversation with other Sag individuals and there's just this deep innate respect and unvocalized acknowledgement of appreciation for their mind. Other Sag placements have the ability to match your energy and they love spending HOURS talking about the mysteries of the universe.

There's also an understanding that commitment is difficult and scary, so that takes a lot of the pressure off of the situation and allows us to focus on the conversation and just enjoy our time together. The closest sign I've found this similar camaraderie with are Gemini placements, Virgo placements, and Aquarius placements. But it's not quite the same.

Scorpio too, but it takes a really long time to build up the rapport to get to that point. So it takes away a lot of the mystery. Scorpio also wants to know your deepest darkest secrets, whereas Sags want to talk about the deep and dark mysteries of the world, but don't want to go too deep into their own traumas.

I've had convos with Sag individuals that lasted hours talking about how we'd solve humanitarian issues and what we were currently doing in activism circles, the mysteries of space, important moments in history, and how trauma can affect the development of an individual. But the single second you ask them about their own experience with trauma or what their childhood was like, they're out the door. 😂

💥 A lot of people say Sag placements are all talk and no bite, but I think they have a more overt approach that's similar to Scorpio. Where Scorpio moves in silence, Sag placements are going to tell you what they're going to do and how much it'll affect you. They might not throw hands, but they'll throw words that can cut you like a knife. They can also take action to make your life way harder than it should be. That's why a calm Sag is never a good sign.

If they are comfortable fighting, they'll let you talk all your talk and they'll stand there with a calm rage. Then they'll laugh (if you see a Sag laugh when they're angry, run 😂) and punch you right in the face. 😂 Can confirm from watching countless of my Sag friends 😂

💥 Sag placements are really open minded and understanding, so if they're annoyed with you they're either A) projecting onto you based off of a past experience with someone else (which is not ok) or B) you're likely just annoying. Or you crossed a boundary. But don't worry, they'll make sure you know (unless they have Pisces, Cancer, Libra, or 12th House Placements).

💥 On the flip side, ironically, Sag placements can be more vulnerable to culty belief systems and can struggle admitting the flaws associated with their own values. They usually get there eventually, but not without causing irreparable harm to themselves and others.

We saw a lot of this in the deconstruction movement with Saturn in Sag. Once they break the mold and expectations, they examine EVERYTHING from there on out with a fine tooth comb.

💥 Every person with prominent Sag placements that I know played Soccer in childhood.

💥 They are extremely loyal to a fault. So, if a Sag cuts you off, it's not a good sign.

💥 Sag placements are just happy to be invited to come along for the ride. They're the perfect "running errands" buddies, because they find an adventure in anything. They enjoy spending time with people that make them happy and their mutable energy allows them to go with the flow.

💥 They value honesty and they always try to get the truth in any situation. However, they also make great liars.

All mutable signs have this "two sided" energy to them. They can flip the switch at any moment when they've had enough. I think this is a valuable trait when used ethically and for the health and well being of the person with the sign.

For Example... Sagittarius = Half man, half centaur. Pisces = The two fish. Gemini = The twins. Virgo = The maiden (some believe the maiden represent Persephone - the Goddess of Spring and the Queen of Hell and is often used to depict duality).

💥 They're the perfect people to have around in crisis. Since they're so flexible, they can stay level headed and calm to address the problem. And they often have someone laughing by the end of it.

💥 Don't ever tell a Sag they can't do something because they'll make it their life mission to prove you wrong. All they need for motivation is pure spite. (I think I've pointed this out in other posts. But I literally have a whole degree because someone told me I couldn't do it. I was smirking at graduation when they came up to congratulate me)

💥 They're often misperceived to be arguing when they're just talking.

💥 Sag placements often show up for others but don't always get the same energy back. This is why they enjoy being in their own company. This is tenfold if their 8th/12th house is ruled by Sag.

They were often the only support system they had in childhood or they were ostracized from friend groups. They could've even been the outcast of the family for not assimilating into the familial belief system.

They don't worry a lot of the time because they know they'll always figure it out. Because they've been forced to fix every single one of their problems alone at some point in their life. Not to mention, Jupiter looks out for them in really hard times.

💥 They aren't lucky in everyday endeavors. They're lucky in crisis. When something bad happens, Jupiter saves the day. But they aren't inherently lucky all of the time.

💥 When things don't go their way, and they experience a string of bad luck, they check out. They throw their hands up and throw in the towel. Because if nothing is going right, then they're going to do what they want anyways. And they're going to be hopeful about it all. Sometimes, they become complacent and expect everything to fix itself, but they know deep down they have to crawl out of the hole they dug for themselves. Which they do. Eventually.

💥 Every Sagittarius I know, myself included, battles mental health issues, but they have this child like hope inside of them that they cling onto for dear life. They look for the little things that amaze them. They find beauty anywhere.

The best example I can give for this is how I react during depressive episodes. I get really down and out, often daydreaming of a solution. But to distract myself, I'll research the wonders of the world and just be so ridiculously amazed about what human beings can do or what science can prove, that I gain hope. And I cling to it.

My friend is a Pluto in Scorpio generation. I'm Pluto in Sag. Anytime the news gets scary and I become afraid, I'll go outside and look for things that make me happy. He's caught me completely mesmerized watching butterflies before and he was so confused by that. I looked him in the eye and said "Don't you think it's completely amazing how caterpillars become the chrysalis and go through such an emotionally draining transformation, only to hatch and have to learn how to fly? Isn't it inspiring how they go through all of that alone, and still manage to feel the wind on their wings and taste what freedom feels like?" He gave me a blank stare before he busted out laughing and was like "That was such a Sagittarius thing for you to say because only you would know that and only you would look at life that way."

He's right. And now it's what I use to describe Sag energy every time now 😂

💥 I've said this in my song rec post, but Ryan Caraveo's songs are raw authentic Sag energy. He's a Sag sun and stellium I think. (I'm pretty sure he's also a 12th houser - if you are too, look up his song Ghost)

But I can encapsulate the entirety of Sagittarius energy in these two parts from his song "Feelings" - trigger warning SI (passive):

"A year went by, I made no moves Waiting on luck when I know it ain't enough And it took rock bottom to finally wake me up

Yeah, but now I'm feeling like the man (feeling like a man) 'Cause I do my thing and I won't go back Even though I can, yeah Ambition is something I need Something I be, not what I do I need it to breathe, need it to dream Yes, I believe I got something to prove"

and

"I promise to break before I drop to my knees If I can learn before I pray Then it's a problem that God doesn't need It's more than just words, more than a phrase More than advice, I got it from me Back from the bottom with nothing to fear Easy to say, harder to be Ready to go, go Ready to jump, yeah I've been on that bridge Never know hope, hope Never know love That was the way that I lived Oh, what a feeling to turn it around After my ceiling was burned to the ground Death was appealing, I stood up to deal with it That is the feeling of earning a crown I am a king, I am a king F*** all the stresses, man, that's not a thing F*** the depression, man, I got a dream If I want excellence, that's what I bring I am the truth, I am the lie I am the wall between me and the prize I am the difference between being dead while I'm living and living while I am alive And if I fail Then it's probably 'cause I don't have those great surroundings, right? Nah, it's up to me to bring the great out of everything that I am surrounded by, and I'll admit I made enough excuses The blame game, that's just as useless The want that you have: that's justice, use it Ain't sh** left Just f***ing do it!"

Literally, that is Sagittarius in a whole song. I can't describe it any better. The beat makes it perfect. His other songs are exactly Sag energy. 'Thrivin' is also a perfect encapsulation of Sag energy.

"I just wanna say sorry. I have been oh so selfish. Livin' my life, not too involved in no one else's. I guess I got too greedy. Scared to love freely. Can't hold a conversation. Blamed it on my ADD. Yeah I blamed it on my habitat, old habits that die hard doing anything to have some racks.....Yeah I'm good. Yeah I'm fine. I don't wake up feelin' like I wanna d*e. no. Cause I'm thrivin' now...I don't do the sh** I used to do survive no, cause I'm thrivin' now."

And the whole music video is literally Sag energy. I laughed through the whole thing. But in the music, he captures the goofiness and the go with the flow nature of Sag and the lyrics, he has a sarcastic undertone in a lot of his songs. I feel seen every time I listen to him. 😂

[atthebell]

atp this website should just let me opt in to tags im willing to see rather than blocking this many

Do you ever feel like you run out of qsmp content to consume on tumblr because of the blocked tags?

^ not at all a criticism of blocking tags, I do it liberally lol, just curious because it happens to me sometimes

not really; part of the reason why i have to block so many tags is because i follow so many people in order to see a lot of qsmp stuff. because i like keeping up to date with as many characters as possible i like to see a lot of stuff, but that also means seeing shit i don't want to see or seeing incredibly stupid & biased takes from people who only main one POV (at which point i usually just block and move on with my life; if you can't step outside your characters pov for single second, you're not working with this medium right).

i DO have issues with not seeing enough about roier and cellbit on my dash honestly-- i hear every detail about tubbo and bad and foolish's streams, but whenever i miss a cellbit stream i know ill have to watch it back myself because people won't have said what happened because there's such fewer cellbit fans on here, and same goes for roier. although there's definitely more spanish speakers on here than brazilians so i do get some of what happens on his streams. in general, though, there are like three people on here who care about cellbit enough to post about him and im one of them so :/ i need to up the propaganda or something i feel like im going insane

there's also far less fanart on here than there is for other mcyt fandoms, which is sad, so i do often find myself combing through every character's tag hoping to find new art but ive already found it all. this isn't a criticism of fanartists, qsmp just isn't as popular on here and that's reflected in the amount of art.

anyway i don't really have a hard time finding content about most characters but there's a few where it is a struggle, though not because of blocking tags. and the reason i block so many tags is because i just do not share the same taste in other media as the people i follow, so i pretty much have to block whatever other stuff they post about or ill want to scream. and bc i have every variation of cc & q neg blocked along with usual tws.

i suppose because of how many people i have blocked im probably missing some qsmp content, but i have people blocked because they're awful and post misinfo or are just annoying so like. im not gonna unblock them just to see bad analyses of bad or cellbit or tubbo on my dash. i have a few things that earn an instant block from me, and misinfo is a big one, along with just being mean as hell or bigoted in some way. idk im very particular about cultivating my dash and although im frustrated often, that's more due to the state of fandom & online culture in general at the moment (bad) than all that specific to this fandom.

[redmemoirs]

Orange green blue and white for Retsu and Amira! ^^

thank you for asking <333 answered orange for retsu and white for amira here!

🟠 Orange- What is a trait your OC hides about themself from others? Do they refuse to acknowledge it or begrudgingly accept it?

Amira: how incredibly jealous she is of others. it's something she really struggles with. before she loved her sister or kiki (in different ways of course) she was deeply jealous of them for their pedigree and how it seemed like they had everything so easy. even after she realises how untrue that is she finds herself drawing comparisons all the time. she's not ashamed of her background, which makes the feeling worse because it comes with a side of guilt. she's definitely far from acceptance on this lol

🟢 Green- What is considered a weakness in your OC that is actually a strength? What is a strength in your character that can be twisted into a weakness?

Retsu: ohh first is definitely her apathy to politics. one could argue it gives her a unique perspective... for the second, i think her loyalty would be the obvious answer.

Amira: from a noble's perspective it would be her humble birth and childhood. it shaped her as a person though, and she wouldn't be half the person she is now without the sense of community her hometown imparted in her. it takes a village and all that. the second case is very specific - her family's territory is right on the border with tanbarun on the clarines side and they manage the border crossings. amira has a reputation there for being able to recognise anyone who's passed through even just once, which instead inspires the kind of shifty people she should be looking for to find ways to dodge around her or simply be on exceptionally good behaviour. it comes up when mihaya reappears during tanbarun arc, because him managing to escape into tanbarun is a failing on her part.

🔵 Blue- How would your OC spend a single day of interrupted peace? Where would they go or who would they be with?

Retsu: ... all roads lead to haki. she would love to return to their childhood days when haki just did whatever she wanted and retsu got to follow her around all the time.

Amira: she would love to spend an idle day just hanging out with her sister. they don't really spend much time together, or even in the same house really - since their lands are along the border with tanbarun, they're careful about having at least one person in the area all the time. usually that's amira, while her sister is away on other duties. other than that, maybe just a day in town, chatting with the locals and stimulating the economy and all that. she prefers being around people to being alone.

⚪️ White- When was a moment in your OC's life that they felt the most vulnerable and exposed? Were they alone or surrounded?

Retsu: not sure how to answer this one so heres top 10 worst moments of retsu's life, in no particular order

her brother's death. she was part of the knight circle when it happened (not yet the captain) and found out through gossip. one of the few times she remembers being truly, genuinely angry.

The Wedding Invitation, naturally. she was alone with haki, which is always her ideal scenario, except it felt like a permanent goodbye.

the bergatt situation. following some incidents in the north and house arleon's refusal, she was engaged to touka for a while. she very nearly threw her family name away in order to avoid it. before it got to that point though, the canon arc happened, and zen didn't ask for her help, which stung.

actually this is just a top 3