#no lol. i struggle to point to a single specific moment

[dancedance-resolution]

guys do you want to know something absolutely insane. i was thinking about a catholic related world news event that happened a while ago and thought to myself man, i can only imagine how crazy it must’ve been for the kids going to my old catholic school the day after that happened. so i googled when it happened to see if my best friends little brother was there when it happened and um. I was there when it happened???? lololol i’ve been thinking about it for 20 mins and i think that now i maybe do remember the teeniest tiniest bit going to school after it happened…. anyways as if i needed any more evidence that my time in catholic high school was deeply deeply traumatic to me, it turns out my brain did the trauma response thing of completely erasing my memory of those last two years lol

[usomads]

You're My Problem // Tama Tonga x Reader

Author’s Note -> Hiiii, so idk how I feel about this honestly but I wanted to get my first Tama story out (we’re starving out here lol) and here’s what I came up with. Lmk if you have any recs for him, and as always, happy reading!!!

Plot -> You and Tama can’t stand each other. Locked in a room with him by force, will the two of you make up or will the hate continue?

Pairings -> Tama Tonga x Fem!Reader

Warnings -> Cursing, Choking, Degradation, Oral Receiving (M!Receiving, F!Receiving), Hair Pulling, Unprotected P in V, Creampie, MDNI

Word Count -> 2.4k

It was impossible to point to a specific incident that led to you and Tama despising each other so deeply, it seemed as if from the moment you met it was clear the two of you would never get along. You were assigned as a producer for the Bloodline storyline, which unfortunately meant that you were working closely with him every single week. None of the other members had a problem with you. In fact, they loved you, but Tama never shared that sentiment. So here you were in the Bloodline’s locker room trying to pitch the promo they’d be doing later in the night but, of course, Tama was being difficult as usual.

“You’re insufferable, you know that? I can’t even get this fuckin’ promo out without you bitching at me every five seconds. God, it’s like you do this shit on purpose-”

“Maybe you just don’t know how to do your fuckin’ job, you ever think of that, Y/N? Oh, I’m sorry, you’re never the problem, right? Shit goes sideways at least once a week but hey, it couldn’t possibly be Little Miss Perfect right?” 

“Oh, so now you think you can tell me how to do my own job? I don’t see the other three struggling with it, so that would just narrow it down to you, right? You wanna talk about me not doing my job right, look in the mirror assho-”

“Both of you, please, shut the fuck up already. It’s every week with this shit, I’m fuckin’ tired of it. Can you just get along, for once?” Sefa groaned, clearly annoyed with the two of you constantly arguing.

“Well if she weren’t such a stuck up bitch then ma-”

“The fuck did you just call me?!” You stood from your seat at Tama’s words, instantly being provoked but was stopped by Sefa stepping in front of you, preventing you from getting in Tama’s face.

“Jesus fuckin’ christ, enough. Both of you need to calm the fuck down-”

“Fuck you mean, ‘calm down’? Did you not just hear what he said? Now get outta my way so I can-”

“No, none of that shit. We got more important business to tend to. Y/N, your promo idea is great, like always. And Tama,” he looked in the Tongan’s direction, “that was fuckin’ uncalled for. I don’t give a fuck how much you don’t like her, callin’ her a bitch is not cool, uce. But both of you,” he pointed between the two of you, “need to figure out whatever this issue is. I can’t have y’all bitchin’ at each other all the time, shit’s annoying as hell. So you know what, I’ve got an idea…” Sefa trailed off. “Me, Jacob, and Tonga are gonna go talk to creative about some shit real quick, and you two,” he and the other two walked towards the door, “are gonna talk this shit out. And I’m not lettin’ y’all outta here until ‘til you do.” You and Tama both tried to say something to stop them but went ignored as Jacob, Tonga, and Sefa went out the door and closed it behind them, locking it in the process. You let out a huff of annoyance, slouching in your seat.

“You realize this is your fault, right?” You spoke out loud, not looking at Tama. “If you weren’t such a fuckin’ dick then we wouldn’t be here right now. Once again, you gotta fuck something up...” 

Tama laughed obnoxiously, “My fault? Oh, don’t act all fuckin’ innocent here, Y/N. You know damn well you had just as much a part in this as I did. Don’t play all innocent now, Sefa ain’t here to defend you.”

You stood up abruptly, ignoring him as you walked to the door and tested the doorknob, finding it was indeed locked. “You’ve gotta be kidding… he fuckin’ locked us in here?!”

Tama stood up and walked over to the door, brushing by you to try the door himself. “There’s no way he did that shit, you’re just being fuckin’ dramatic,” he twisted the knob to also find it locked, you scoffing as he had to try it himself. You step to him, forcing him to look at you as you spoke.

“What the fuck is your issue, Tama? I don’t get it,” you asked, demanding an answer. “Like, what the fuck did I ever do to you? I tried being nice to you at first, I really did, but you’ve been such a fuckin’ prick ever since I met you that you’ve made that literally impossible.” Tama fumed as he pushed your back against the door, stepping dangerously close to you. Your mind felt dizzy as he stood over you, him peering down at you with his intense gaze. Your stomach had all of a sudden become a bundle of nerves as you watched his face, anxious of what he might say or do, but deep down there was a small part of you that enjoyed how intimidated you were by him. You hated how much you enjoyed this, trying desperately to put those thoughts to the side and forget about them completely, but he wouldn’t let you. His stare wouldn’t let you. The heat emanating from his body wouldn’t let you. And his next words certainly wouldn’t either.

“You wanna know what my problem is, Y/N? You. You’re my problem.”

“Well, no shit, I fuckin’ knew that dumba-” your words caught in your throat as he stepped impossibly closer and wrapped a hand around your neck, your bodies nearly touching. You gasped at the feeling and felt your eyes begin to roll to the back of your head, trying hard to maintain a level of self control under his touch.

“My problem is every time you talk back or insult me, I wanna shove my cock down your throat right then and there to shut you up.” He growled. “Been tryin’ so hard not to ruin you since the moment I met you, ‘s why I been actin’ like I can’t stand your ass. But the more bold you been gettin’ with me,” he leaned down to your ear, “the more I wanna fuck that attitude of yours right outta ya.” You bite your lip at his words, trying your best to suppress the moans that are daring to fall off your lips. Tama raises his head and meets your gaze once more, watching you try desperately to contain yourself underneath him. Your breath quickens as his eyes scan your features, looking for any sign of surrender to him. “Not so bold anymore, huh?” Your lip bite morphs into a smirk, finding your confidence at his teasing remark.

“You gonna sit here and continue to talk outta your ass, or you gonna man up and fuckin’ kiss me already?”

He chuckles lowly before smashing his lips to yours, the grip on your throat tightening and a moan swallowed by your lips coming from his mouth. You grab him by the shirt and pull him closer, craving his touch as your lips dance along his. He forces his tongue in your mouth, dominating it as his other hand grips your hip. Wetness begins to pool at your core, the overwhelming sexual desire between you two palpable as you both fight for dominance. The two of you switch positions; Tama’s back against the door as you separate. Your swollen lips paint a smirk as your hands travel to the hem of his shirt, tugging on the fabric and prompting him to remove it. The bulge in his pants is prominent, silently aching for you as your fingers dance along his waistline. Tama watches your actions- watches you toy with him.

“Y/N, if you don’t…”

“Don’t what? You were the one who called me a bitch earlier, might as well play the part…” you begin to back away from him but his hand grabs your wrist tightly and pulls you to him.

“I don’t think so,” his eyes darken as he speaks to you in a commanding tone. “Get on your knees.”

“Make me.”

Tama grabs your shoulders, shoving you down and undoing his pants to free himself. His cock hits his stomach as he pulls his boxers down, veins prominently detailing the thick shaft as precum leaks from the swollen tip. You look up at him through your lashes, Tama taking a mental picture of the sight of your doe eyes making eye contact with his. To him, the sight of you peering up at him with bruised lips, mere inches away from having your mouth on him was the sexiest thing he’s ever witnessed. You give him a wink and wrap your hand around him, spitting on his dick and slowly stroking it. He groans when you touch him, weaving his fingers into your hair. Your tongue slowly trails from base to tip, tracing the outlines of his veins and giving kitten licks to the swollen head, making him shiver.

“Mmm, fuck Y/N, quit teasin’,” he moaned, gripping your hair harder. You didn’t listen, continuing your actions until he tugs your head back to look at him, a gasp slipping from your mouth and allowing him to slide his tip inside. “You wanna play, huh? Fine by me, baby, let’s play.” He pushes your head slowly down his length, forcing you to relax your jaw and throat to open yourself up to him. You feel his cock hit the back of your throat and gag, eliciting a groan from him as your throat tightens around him. “Mmm, you think you’re so big and bad, ain’t so big now with this dick down your throat, huh?” You moan around his cock, your eyes watering as he thrusts himself in your mouth. He fucks your throat violently, his hips bucking at an unrelenting pace as tears stream your face and you choke on him. He pulls out, allowing you to catch your breath but continues to stroke himself as he looks down at you. “Look at you, you’re a mess. Such a fuckin’ slut f’me, chokin’ on my cock.” You whine at his words, you had never been one for name calling but the way it glided off his tongue made you weak in the knees. “Oh, you like that, huh? C’mere, you wanna be my slut so bad imma fuck you like one.” He lifts you back to your feet, kneeling down and taking off your bottoms, leaving you in your panties. He moves them to the side, collecting your wetness with his fingers. “Damn, baby girl, I did all this? You’re a fuckin’ mess for me,” he smirked.

“Tama, I swear to God…”

“Nah, you wanted to play earlier, remember? Now it’s my turn.”

“Tama…”

“Whatchu want, hmm? Imma need a little more convincing than that, sweetheart.” You whined and laid your head against the door, eyes gluing shut as his fingers teased close to your aching core but would never quite touch it. 

“Please…” you mumbled softly.

“Sorry, I didn’t catch that. What were you sayin’?” He smirked, loving how desperate you were for him.

“Fuck, Tama, please. Please, just fuckin’ touch me alre- oh fuckkk.” His tongue making contact with your dripping folds cut you short, your eyes rolling back as his tongue ravaged your pussy. He moaned as he lapped at you, the vibration sending chills throughout your body. He lifts his head and blows cool air on your clit before wrapping his lips around the swollen bud, making you cry out his name and tangle your hands in his hair. He continued to assault your pussy with his tongue, and it wasn’t long before your legs were shaking underneath him.

“S-shit, Tama I-” He stops his movements, slowly rising back to his feet and giving you a sinister look. 

“Oh, you thought I was gonna let you cum so easily?” He turns you around, pressing your front against the cool surface of the door. “Nah, baby, you cum when I let you.” His tip pokes at your entrance before pushing its way in, the thickness of his cock filling you instantly. He places a hand on the side of your head, pushing it into the door as he pounds into you mercilessly. You moan his name loud, unable to control yourself as Tama fully dominates you.

“Fuckk, such a pretty lil’ slut f’me. Takin’ me so well.. you love this dick don’t you, baby girl? Tell Daddy how much you love his cock.” He continues to fuck you hard, your skin slapping echoing the room. “I- I, oh fuck, s-so good. I-”

“That’s it, mama, let the whole fuckin’ arena know who’s fuckin’ you this good.” He grabs your hair and pulls, arching your back and he slams his hips into you. You cry out his name, the new angle hitting your spot in all the right ways. You know you’re close- your pussy tightens around him and he groans. “Lost that attitude, didn’t you? All it took was to fill you full of good dick and you shut right up… fuck, baby, so fuckin’ tight f’me. Squeezing the fuck outta my dick. Keep that shit up and imma fill this pussy up.” 

“P-please..”

“Oh, you dirty fuckin’ slut, you want that, don’t you?” You whimper in response. “Imma give that shit to you baby, gotta cum for me first. C’mon, ma, nut all over this dick.” His hips drive into you deeper than before, daring you to come undone, and you do. You cum hard, your vision turning white and your limbs shaking violently as you release all over him. Your pussy tightens one last time and Tama curses your name, snapping his hips into you and releasing deep inside your pussy.  He stills inside you, allowing his cum to completely fill you as the two of you attempt to catch your breath. He plants kisses on the side of your neck, allowing you to ride out your orgasm. After a moment he pulls out of you, reaching down to your panties and moving them back in place, trapping his cum inside. You two rest for a moment, skin to skin as he holds you in his arms, the both of you stuck in a blissful trance until a loud knocking raps from the other side of the door. 

“Aye, y’all make up yet? Got a segment to get ready for, we’re coming in.” 

Shit.

[whimsiwitchy]

I hear the secrets that you keep (series)

chapter five: i missed you

Pedro Pascal x Plus size F!reader 

series masterlist

series summary: 24 year old y/n is an insecure and struggling actress in Los Angeles until she finally books a leading role in a big Hollywood movie next to her leading male, Pedro Pascal. A spark of friendship flickers between the two and slowly begins to blossom into something more. As y/n is navigating a new found fame and a new found romance, she fears that a lie she has been sitting on might ruin everything.

Warnings: plus size reader (no specific description of reader, slight descriptions of weight: stomach fat, stretch marks, etc.), hefty age gap (24 years/14 years), female anatomy description, she/her pronouns, use of gendered terms (girl, girly, etc.), y/n used, descriptions of nudity, swearing,  use of the word fat, daddy kink (not really, but it’s kinda mentioned), sexual themes. warnings may change as the story progresses. 

authors note: Hi everyone. I’ve been spending more time trying to add more detail in my writing, so I hope there’s a small improvement in this chapter. I also want to make the chapters lengthier in the future but we’ll see lol. There’s a tag list to the series now, any information about it is at the bottom of the chapter! 

chapter summary: Pedro misses y/n and comes to bother her at work. 

╔══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╗

Life moved on so quickly and there was never enough time to savor your favorite moments. Everything around you changed within a blink of an eye and you hadn't had a single second to just sit and think. You wanted nothing more than to be able to stop time for just a few minutes, just to process how dramatically your life had changed within such a short span of time.

The kiss you had shared with Pedro was nothing short of perfect, but after the high seemed to wear off, you became hyper aware of just how fucked this entire situation was. Whatever was brewing between the two of you was exciting, thrilling, and you wanted nothing more than to dive in head first- but  you’d be lying if you said it didn’t scare the absolute shit out of you at the same time. Being around Pedro has felt so easy. You were still getting to know him and vice versa, but the attraction was there. He so clearly told you that he thought you were beautiful and enjoyed spending time with you. It kind of freaked you out at first, how fast everything was moving between you, but he was a man. He wasn’t some boy that was just using you to pass time, he was a real man who knew what he wanted and went for it. It ignited a flame in you that you wouldn’t be able to put out even if you tried. 

As much as you were enjoying whatever was happening with Pedro, you couldn’t help shake the fact that you were technically lying to him. You tried to tell him the truth, you really had, but you got interrupted, and everything else happened so fast. You knew you would have to tell him the truth at some point, but you were terrified of how he would react to the news. You could only imagine what would happen when he finds out that the woman he had been flirting with and even kissed wasn’t actually 14 years younger but instead a whopping 24 years younger.. It wasn’t like you lied to him on purpose. It wasn’t even a lie you had started in the first place, it was a lie Angie constructed to get your career up and moving. People in the industry lie about their age all time, right? 

It’s been an entire week since the kiss. The day after the kiss, Pedro had texted you, and the two of you had been texting consistently ever since. Three days after the kiss, you saw Pedro in person again. You had filmed the roller skating scene and went to get tacos after in celebration of filming your first ever professional movie scene. Neither of you had mentioned the kiss at all. Everything was normal between you guys. He was flirty, you were awkward, and life moved on. 

You were pulled out of your thoughts when a makeup artist came to do some touch ups. Today you were on set to film a few solo shots, meaning Pedro wasn’t here. It was kind of weird, him not being here, everything you had done in this process had involved him somehow and you missed his presence. The makeup artist, Elizabeth, removed your previous eyeshadow and replaced it with a light orange color with a dramatic wing set in white eyeliner that matched your current costume perfectly. You were called to the studio at four in the morning and it was creeping up on five in the afternoon. You were exhausted. You didn’t have a lot to film, with most of the time being taken by costume and makeup changes between yourself and any extras in the scenes. Once Elizabeth was done, you made your way from the makeshift vanity over to the next set to film your final shots of the day.

You were released from set almost two hours later. You practically ran to the small trailer that sat just outside on the studio lot with your name plastered across the door. If you weren’t so tired, you probably would have shed a few tears at the sight of it. As soon as you walk in, you plop down in the ‘directors’ style chair that sits in front of a lighted mirror. 

“Hey there hot stuff”

You almost jump out of the chair and let out a startled scream. You looked over to the right to see Pedro lounging on a small sofa that was connected to the wall of the trailer. He was wearing a pair of black lounge shorts, paired with a Los Angeles Lakers shirt that was their signature gold color. He wore a small smirk and you noticed that he was sporting a funky looking mustache instead of the full facial hair you had become accustomed to.

“Oh my fucking god P, you scared the shit out of me.” Both of your hands were gripping either side of the chair and you tried to slow your heart rate down. “How’d you even get in here dude, jesus christ.” 

He lets out a small laugh. “I have my ways sweetheart. How did filming go?” 

“It was fine. I’m fucking drained though.” Your hands finally relax and you lean back into the chair in a casual manner.  

“Yea it can be that way sometimes. Just wait until you're back on set with me. I’ll make sure you aren’t bored.” He winks. Your mind wanders for a moment before changing the subject. 

“When did you get the porn stache?” You laugh and point to his upper lip. 

“Oh this old thing? They shaved it a few days ago when I started filming more.”  He runs one hand across his slightly stubbled jaw. 

“It suits you.” You say with a hum. 

He stays quiet for a moment and you look at him. He sits up straight on the couch, spreading his legs apart slightly. “Come here sweetheart.” He says while reaching out for you. You take a few steps towards him and he's grabbing your hands. 

“I missed you.” He whispers while pulling you to stand in between the gap of his thighs. You weren’t entirely sure what he meant by that. Did he miss being around you? Did he miss kissing you? It really didn’t matter, because you missed him too, so you told him. 

“I missed you too.” you admit outloud. 

His hands let go of yours and instead make their way to your waist. He pulls you forward gently. 

“I want you to sit on my lap, can you do that for me baby?” 

Baby.

What you had with Pedro was unique. There wasn’t any discussion on what either of you had felt, but the night he kissed you, it created an unspoken agreement of sorts- there was a spark and you both weren’t afraid to explore it. 

“P, I can’t. I’ll crush you.” He gives you a look of disapprovement. You were always too aware of your weight in intimacy. Knowing that you were heavier than what most guys were used to, made you avoid any situation that involved any weight being placed on another person. 

“Just come straddle me baby, use your knees for support if you’re that worried about it okay? I just wanna feel you sweetheart, we can stop if you ever feel uncomfortable. Does that sound okay?” He’s rubbing from your waist, down to your haps, and back up again. It’s comforting and you know that you can trust him- you know that he isn’t going to make fun of you. 

You give him a nod and slowly lower yourself to straddle him, knees touching the couch on either side of his legs, holding yourself up slightly.. He places one hand on each of your thighs, slightly digging into them. 

“Atta girl.” he says, his voice slightly deeper. A shiver runs down your spine and the gravel of his voice gives you the confidence to slide yourself down further and apply more weight onto his lap. 

“You know, I've been aching to kiss you again.” He looks up and trains his eyes to yours. 

“Then do it.” You say, your voice small. 

He puts his hands around your waist, positioning his hands right above your ass and pulls you forward. He leans up towards you and you lean down meeting his lips halfway. Your lips start moving against him in a comfortable rhythm. The kiss starts off slow and innocent, both of you savoring the feeling that you both had been craving. His grunts and his hands fall lower fully cupping each ass cheek, giving them both a tight squeeze. You let out a small gasp to which he takes as an invitation to sneak his tongue into your mouth. This snaps you into reality and you pull back for a moment.

“Taylor, my uh hairstylist, is coming by soon to take the wig off.” You said in a breathy voice. 

“She’ll knock.” He says pulling you back into him, his tongue immediately darting into your mouth. 

Your tongues are dancing together, neither one of you trying to control the other. Pedro uses his grip on your ass to roll your hips forward and you can feel that he’s hard underneath his criminally thin shorts. You could feel his full length graze across your pussy, causing you to break the kiss and jolt your head back in a surprised moan. He keeps rolling your hips onto him and reaches forward to attach his lips to your neck, leaving sloppy wet kisses. 

A knock on the door makes both of you freeze. You jump out of Pedro’s lap and rush back to the makeup chair. You fix the wig slightly and look over at Pedro as he adjusts himself before going back into the same lounging position he held when you had first noticed him. The door opens slightly and Taylor announces herself before entering. “Sorry it took so long. There was a change in how they want your hair for your sex scene coming up.” You face flushes and she begins to take the wig off. Ignoring Pedro’s presence, the two of you hold a small conversation until she finishes up and excuses herself. 

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

“I need to get this costume off. Can you turn around or something while I change real quick?” You say as you grab the black and white plaid pajama pants and black hoodie you showed up in. He turns around and you get dressed quickly, letting him know when he could look again. You walk across the trailer and bend over to search your tote bag for your micellar water and cotton pads to remove your makeup. 

“You look so good in these pants baby.” Pedro grabs both sides of your hips and presses himself against your ass. You stand up and he’s leaning to whisper in your ear, “You wanna come over to my place?” You can’t help but laugh.

“Are you always this fuckboyish when you’re horny?” You say, finally being able to be the one who teased him and not the other way around. 

“Only for you baby.” He winks and lets out a laugh. 

The car ride to his place was quiet. When you agreed to come over, he insisted that he could drive you to his place and would drive you home. You didn’t fight back much, not even thinking about your car that still sat in the studio parking lot. You had your arm propped up on the center console with your hand supporting your chin, staring at Pedro. His hand was placed on your thigh, his thumb moving up and down slightly tickling you. 

You couldn’t help but admire him. Pedro was truly one of the most handsome men you had ever come across. He was so…beefy. His legs looks so good in those shorts and the way his shirt stretched around the top of his arm was torture. You were so fucking horny it was crazy. You wanted nothing more than to feel the warmth of Pedro and feel his length graze against you again. You weren’t sure exactly what Pedro had planned when he asked you to come over but you were hoping it involved more kissing. You really liked kissing him. 

The car comes to a stop and you notice that he’s pulling into a garage. When you asked him where he lived before, he had mentioned that he had a small place but this house was far from small. It wasn’t a huge mansion but it was a respectable size, way bigger than your own apartment. When you open your car door, Pedro is already walking over to your side and offering his hand, which you take happily. He closes the garage door, locks the car, and leads you into a small mudroom. He removes his shoes, you follow, and the two of you walk down a small hallway into a living room.

The room was pretty normal. There was a brown ‘L’ shaped couch along the back wall accompanied by a matching brown recliner to the right of the room. On the opposite wall of the couch, there was a giant flat screen attached to the wall with a dark wooden entertainment stand underneath that was littered with random items. He had a few pictures scattered across the walls and a small display case of awards he had won. 

He sits on the couch and he pulls you down to straddle his lap again. This time it was much more innocent than the first. He has his arms lazily wrapped around you and you have your arms around his neck, resting your head on the right one. 

“Your house is so nice P. It’s so you.” You say into his cheek. 

He lets out a light chuckle and you feel the vibration from his chest on yours. “Thank you sweetheart.” You hum in response. 

“Are you ready for our intimacy coaching?” He asks genuinely.

“Uh, yea I think so. I’m a little nervous though.” You take a moment to think about just how much sex Pedro’s character is having in this movie. He has to have intimacy training and intimacy scenes with eleven other women. You know it’s just his job, but you can’t help the tinge of jealousy that you feel in your chest. “Have you started any of your other ones yet?” You're hoping he couldn’t hear the slight irritation in your voice. 

“Yea. I finished all the training and started filming with some of the girls already.” He says nonchalantly. 

“Oh…that’s cool.” You know for sure he could hear the staggering in your voice this time. You’re trying really hard to keep a professional, but what both of you have done behind closed doors is far from professional. He turns his head to look down at you. 

“What’s wrong baby?” He asks with concern and you realize from the tension in your lips that you have a very noticeable pout on your face. 

“It’s nothing.. ‘s stupid.” You lower your head to hide your face. 

“‘s not stupid if it’s got you all pouty like that sweet girl.” He’s rubbing the back of your head so gently, it could put you right to sleep.

“It’s really stupid P…” You raise your head to look at him. “.. just the thought of you being that close and intimate with other women makes me feel a little jealous . Like I know it’s your job and all but I’m starting to really like you and I don’t-” 

“You like me?” He’s smiling from ear to ear and you could feel the heat rising to your face, not realizing you had said it outloud. 

“I mean yea P. You’re a total catch, what’s not to like…” You trail off, trying your best not to shy away from this moment, from him. 

“I like you too Y/n.” His smile is still big. You can feel your tummy erupt. 

“I need you to really promise me that you like me, okay? I really don’t want to get hurt by you.” You’re holding your pinky up, just like the day you had met him. 

“I promise baby.” He locks his pinky with yours and gives your hand a tender kiss. 

You lay your head back down and you both accept the silence around you, living in the moment of the confessions made. Last time you checked the clock, it was ten at night. It was late and Pedro’s lap was far too comfy for you to care about going home tonight. Your head was feeling heavy and you were slipping into a delirious state due to your lack of sleep after a long day of working.

“You know, when my agent first told me that you were the lead when I auditioned, I had no idea who you were.” Your voice comes out barely above a whisper.

“Thanks baby, that really knocks a few notches off my ego.” He laughs and that slight rumble from his chest is intoxicating. You could see the rise of his left cheek from where your head still laid on your arm that was still draped over his shoulders. You liked making him smile. He had such a nice smile.

“Hm, maybe that’s why the universe brought me to you, to humble you.” Another soft chuckle leaves his mouth. You also loved making him laugh- it was a sound you were glad to have the pleasure of hearing. 

“Anyways, that’s not the point. After I met you at the audition, I may or may not have looked you up.” You don’t know why you’re telling him this. 

“Did you find anything interesting?” He turns his head to look down at you, his eyebrow slightly raised, a cocky smirk present. His right hand starts to caress your back slowly. 

“Eh not really… I did watch your vanity fair lie detector test though.” You purposely leave out how many times you rewatched the first 20 seconds of the video, just to hear his laugh. 

“Oh yea? What did you think?” He’s still looking at you but there's a different look on his face this time, one you haven’t seen before. 

“You look really good in pink.” Your lips turn up to give him a small smile as you think about your next words. “So, uh, daddy’s a state of mind huh?” His hand stops rubbing your back and he turns his head abruptly, looking in the other direction. You burst into laughter at his reaction. “I’m just teasing, come here.” You tug on his right shoulder trying to get him to look at you again but he doesn’t budge. Setting your hands on his shoulders for support, you move yourself to sit straight up, still straddling his lap. Pedro turns his head to look at you and your hands grab his face- you can feel a slight warmth from the blush that was there just moments before. 

“I forgot all about that, it’s so embarrassing…” He leans his head down slightly causing his cheeks to squish in your hands. 

“‘s not embarrassing, it was really fucking funny, but not embarrassing.” He doesn’t budge. “You can be my daddy.” You say in a teasing matter. His head jolts up causing you to drop your hands back down to his shoulder. His eyes were wide and you could’ve sworn you felt movement near the inner corner of your thigh that just so happens to be right next to his- 

“Do you want me to drive you home baby, it’s..” He trails off to grab his phone to check the time. “Shit.. it’s almost 3am.” He sits his phone back down 

“Why’d you change the subject? You don’t wanna be my daddy?” You really wanted to get a reaction out of him. You’re staring deep into his eyes and you feel that slight press against your thigh again. 

“You can’t just say stuff like that sweet girl…” His hands trail down your back, past your ass, and he wiggles them just under your thighs. Before you even realize what’s happening, Pedro is standing up, arms hooked under your legs. You throw your arms around his neck. 

“Pedro put me down please.” You were starting to panic. You’d never had someone even attempt to pick you up and the thought of how heavy you might be in his arms right now is stressing you the fuck out. He starts walking but you can’t see where, nothing but the fading living room in your sight. “P, please. I’m too heavy, please just put me down.” He ignores your pleas. Pedro stops walking for a moment and you hear what you assume is a door clicking open before he continues to walk again. 

“Here sweet girl.” He’s setting you down on the edge of a king sized bed. “I’m not really up to date on any of the new dating rules or anything but um if you wanted, you could stay here tonight.” He’s rubbing the back of his neck and he seems nervous. Your heart burst into flames. 

Dating

“We’re dating?” You’re looking at him with a big smile. 

“Uh yea, I mean uh, only if you want to. I’d love to take you out sometime, on a proper date and everything.” He’s looking at the floor. 

You hop off the bed and wrap your arms around him in a big hug, to which he returns, leaving light kisses on your head. 

“I’d love to stay tonight.” 

╚══ஓ๑♡๑ஓ══╝ 

Thank you for reading <3

next chapter

series tag list: @nuetralcolorsenthusiast @kungfucapslock

*If you wish to be added to the tag list, leave a comment on this post letting me know! <3

[burntheedges-updates]

over again, chapter 1

This is my updates-only blog! Follow me at @burntheedges

Joel Miller x f!reader

summary: you fell in love with Joel Miller in Austin, Texas, in 2001, but you thought you lost him and your whole family in 2003 when the world turned upside down. now it's 2024, and you find the surprise of your life waiting for you in Jackson, Wyoming. or, five times you and Joel fell deeper in love, on both sides of the apocalypse (and one time you did something about it)18+ minors DNI chapter tags/warnings: fluff, flirting, light angst, cursing, no use of y/n, no description of reader (see note below), smallish age difference (reader is 26, Joel is 32/almost 33 when they meet in 2000) (small for this fandom, anyway) (the smut comes later, y'all, we're just getting started here) a/n: Well, here we go! This is part 1. This fic is completely finished. It’s a 5+1 and for some of the 5 parts I’ll post them together (on Sundays) and for some I’ll post them separately (on Sundays and Wednesdays) just due to length. Obviously I'm posting this one early (lol). I’ll tell you whatever the schedule is for the different parts. I've paid a lot of attention to the reader's description in this fic. I've avoided skin color, hair type, body shape/size descriptions, and even clothing (except for one or two spots where you are specifically wearing jeans and boots). You are vaguely shorter than Joel. He does not run his fingers through your hair, and you feel the blood rush to your face or your face heat, but you don't turn red or pink. Please tell me if you notice anything I missed - I want this to be as inclusive as possible. word count: 1724 (for this part) series main post & chapter list | series playlist (w/ plot-related mix) ao3 | chapter 2

Chapter 1: Meet Cute

Jackson, Early Winter, 2023

You’ve been heading northwest from somewhere in Kansas, thinking you’ve never bothered going out this way, even Before, so why not? It’s been months since you saw another person. You’re not even sure the last time you spoke out loud. 

You blame the lengthy isolation for how easily they get the jump on you. 

It's just after dawn when you're rudely awakened - at first, you’re not sure why, but a second kick to your hip sends you scrambling to sit up in your sleeping bag, which is tangled around your legs. Looking around as you struggle, you realize you’re surrounded by people on foot and on horseback. Every single one of them is pointing a gun at you. You glance to the side and realize your backpack along with anything possibly useful inside of it has been kicked away from you. The woman who kicked you has a steely look in her eye that reminds you, in your half awake state, of the last boss you had Before. 

“State your business.” As she speaks you notice the two men closest to her start to fan out a bit, but you don’t dare look away from her.

“I’m just passing through, I’ve been looking for a good place to spend the winter.”

Or, that’s what you would have said, if not for the voice from your past shouting your name in shock just as you open your mouth. “No goddamn way, is that really you?”

You think you must be hallucinating, because everyone you knew Before is dead, but then Tommy fucking Miller pushes his way in front of the woman who spoke. For a moment you can’t do more than stare at each other — him with his gun hanging limply in his right hand, you with your legs still tangled in your godforsaken sleeping bag. Then you launch into motion and start to kick it away as you find your voice. It comes out shaky. Or maybe you’re shaking all over.

“Tommy? But — you’re alive? Where the hell have you been? Wait, are Joel and—“

Tommy cuts you off as he pulls you to your feet and into a tight hug. “Holy shit, we thought you were dead. Holy fucking shit.”

“We? Tommy wait, are they—“

Tommy pulls back, keeping hold of your shoulders as he looks you in the eye. He’s grinning, his eyes wandering all over your face. “He’s alive, sunshine. Or he was when he came through here about a month ago. We’re expecting them back in the spring.”

You can feel your heart racing and your whole body feels hot and tingly. You’re overwhelmed. You didn’t think you could still feel hope like this. It’s terrifying, but you have to know. “He’s- Them? They’re both alive? Sarah?”

You know the answer before he even says anything. Tommy’s face falls, his eyes drop from yours, and you feel it like a sucker punch, as bad as it was the first time around. Your knees give out even though this is what you’ve known, or tried to convince yourself must be true, for 20 years. Tommy falls gently with you to the ground.

Your baby girl. “Oh god, Sarah. And Joel, he must have been—“

“Yeah, sunshine. He thought he lost you both. It wasn’t… well. It wasn’t good.” 

You’re starting to feel numb. You have no idea what your face is doing right now, but judging by Tommy’s, it isn’t pretty. 10 minutes ago you were alone in the apocalypse, and suddenly you’re face-to-face with your almost-brother-in-law and you know, without a doubt, that your fiancé hasn’t been dead this whole time. Is this shock? It’s been 20 years since you felt a shock like this. Since you felt anything like this. 

“Tommy, I… I need to sit down.”

“Well, you are sitting down, sunshine. But get up, gather your stuff. You can come to town with us. Stay as long as you’d like.” You nod, unsteady, and Tommy guides you carefully towards what must be his horse. 

The day passes in a daze. You think you might actually be hallucinating, or still back in your sleeping bag, dreaming, because a whole, functional town? A commune, and a house they’re just going to let you have as your own? A real community? With your only remaining family, miraculously alive? It’s impossible. You float through the rest of the day and find yourself sitting on a bed in a house with indoor plumbing that somehow belongs to you, having just eaten real food in the company of the family you thought you lost 20 years ago.

You give up and go to sleep. (What else are you going to do?)

...

As you settle into life in Jackson, the knowledge that you might see Joel — your Joel, any day now — never leaves your thoughts. It’s like a drum beat at the back of your mind that only repeats his name, marking time every hour of every day. You don’t know how you’ll prepare yourself for it. How could you? You haven’t seen him in 20 years. Anything could be different. You can so easily picture him with a daughter, but it’s Sarah in your mind, not Ellie, who Tommy has told you a bit about. Every time you open those old wounds that you’ve done your best to bury it hurts like the first time. Would he still want you? Still know you? Do you still know him? Would Ellie like you? You can’t imagine not knowing Joel, or Joel not knowing you, but it’s been 20 years and people change. You’ve changed, after all. Some days you barely recognize yourself. 

You express these fears to Tommy once, but he only laughs and says his brother may be stupid but he’s not stupid enough not to want you. It’s reassuring and rude, so, exactly like Tommy. At least some things never change.

The day Joel Miller walks back into Jackson you happen to be standing on the road near the gates, talking to Tommy, and you swear he spots you in less than 5 seconds. It’s like you can’t help but look to each other first, even when you don’t know the other is alive, even when you haven’t seen each other in 20 years. You’d know the shape of him anywhere and your eyes have never stopped looking for it, never stopped catching on a set of shoulders, a cocked hip, a tilted head, only to be disappointed when it faded like a mirage. When the person in front of you didn’t fit the hole he left behind. It hurt every time. Maybe it’s been the same for him. 

Joel looks like he’s seen a ghost, and you have no idea what expression is on your face, but the moment you lock eyes all you see is the moment you first met, almost 24 years ago, like a film negative laid on top of what’s really in front of you. He’s older, of course, but so are you, and he’s still the most handsome man you’ve ever seen.

He steps towards you and whispers your name like a prayer.

Joel fucking Miller. 

Austin, Summer 2000

It was a Saturday morning in late summer, so not yet the hottest part of the day, but not comfortable, either. Your belongings were steadily moving from the truck to your new rental house under your somewhat careful supervision when movement from the house next door caught your eye. You looked up just as one of the guys from the moving company almost dropped your nightstand off the back of the truck, distracting you from the sight of a young girl, maybe about 10, rocketing out of the house next door and down her front steps. She was wearing a bright green soccer uniform.

By the time your nightstand had been righted and you looked back towards your neighbors’ house, she’d made her way to the bushes between your driveways, standing on her tiptoes and taking in all of the commotion. She met your eye and grinned. You grinned back as she called, “Hi, new neighbor!” 

You walked over, stopping on the other side of the bush to introduce yourself. “Hi there, neighbor.” 

It didn’t seem possible, but she grinned even wider. “I’m Sarah, that’s my dad.”

You looked up, realizing there was a man coming down their steps towards the two of you — the most attractive man you’d ever seen in your life. He was tall, with broad shoulders and the look of a man who spent a lot of time in the sun, tan lines peeking out of his shirt sleeves. His brown curls were a bit messy and his shoulders and strong arms drew your eye like a magnet. You caught yourself giving him a quick once over and felt your face start to warm, embarrassed, but when you met his eyes again you caught him doing the same to you. You realized you were both caught and you smiled, introducing yourself. 

“Nice to meet you, darlin’. Joel Miller, and I think you’ve met Sarah.” You felt your face turn hot at the endearment but you knew he probably didn’t mean anything by it. Southern hospitality and all. “Welcome to the neighborhood.”

You’d opened your mouth to respond when you were rudely interrupted by a crashing noise from the moving truck behind you, and you whirled around to see a box on its side on the ground that definitely should not have been. You glanced back at your neighbors as you excused yourself. “It’s great to meet you! Sorry, I need to see what that was.”

They shooed you along before you could even finish your sentence, reassuring you that they understood. “Let me know if anything broke, darlin,’ I’m pretty handy, could probably fix it. It’d be my pleasure.” He smiled at you a bit, just on one side, edging towards a smirk, and you did your best not to stare at his mouth. “Deal,” you agreed, grinning. Both you and Joel seemed unable to draw your eyes away from each other. You were stuck, pinned in place under his gaze until Sarah tugged on his arm and dragged him towards their truck. “Dad, we’re gonna be late!”

The view from the back was just as nice as the front. 

...

a/n: ch 2 is up!

taglist: @morgaussy

[igncrxntripley]

HEYY GIRL IM BACK

okayy i feel so goofy asking for specific smuts BUT can it just start out as a regular match after a breakup ( reader & rhea arent on good terms rn ) and they work things out towards the end? like they admit that theyve both been thinking about eachother all the time & stuff. regular smut & switch rhea & reader pleasee

ty for replying so fast 🙏 my rhea obsession is an emergency

forgiveness

a/n: two posts in one day...i'm wild

mentions: NSFW 18+, smut, fighting/volatile relationships, heated makeouts, grinding/scissoring, touching, fem!reader, switch!reader, switch!rhea, slight break of kayfabe (use of rhea's real name), minor descriptions of in-ring violence

taglist: @thesithdiaries @cassiesgreta @roseheartsworld @theworldofotps @babybatlover @ripleyswhore @auburnwrites​ @obl1vionblackhart​ @emogoblin-666​ @hereliespumpkin​ @blxxdshxteyes @neptune-lover​ @bunnysmyname​ @i-have-issues-lol @ares-athena​ @thatonepansexual2000​ @witcherfromwallachia

work used to be your safe place. you could go and be with your friends, meet amazing fans, and do what you loved every single day. who wouldn't want that for themselves?

that all changed, though, when you and demi broke things off. the two of you loved one another but the stress of your jobs and constantly being on the road took its toll. the rare times where you and demi got to see one another were spent screaming and fighting, and the last time you spoke to one another was the day she stormed out of the house with her bags and called it quits. you never thought you'd be so happy but so sad to see the woman you love leave, but since then nothing had been the same.

you didn't even see how badly demi was struggling with it either. every night she wanted to pick up the phone and call you; she wanted to apologize, pretend like nothing happened and move on with you. but how could she after saying the things she said? after storming out of the house rather than talking through your issues like a regular couple? both of you had fucked up numerous times during your relationship, but demi still hadn't forgiven herself for what she'd done.

the best part? both of you had to go to work like nothing was wrong. every week on the road, it never failed that you saw one another backstage. you always hoped with how many people were backstage at a time that you could avoid her, but with your luck that wasn't going to happen.

the cherry on top of it all? you had a match against her. yep, you and your ex - in a ring together, for twenty minutes at least, needing to practically be on top of one another.

your life was an actual fucking joke at this point.

from the moment you walked out into the ring from gorilla and saw rhea standing there, you felt nauseous. practically everyone in the audience knew about what had happened and they just kept staring at the both of you. but you kept up your character to the best of your ability, doing what you needed to do to get through this nightmare of a match you were about to have.

it almost felt...wrong. to have your hands on demi in any way shape or form. sure, this was rhea ripley and not demi. you were both in character. you were putting on the personas that the audiences were familiar with. but as you and demi grappled on the mat and inflicted physical pain on one another, it continued to bring up all of those unresolved feelings.

each hit, slap, kick, tug of the hair...it was an accessory to the words you'd spat at each other in your arguments over the last few months. not only that, but rhea ripley was known for tormenting her opponents. she wasn't above getting in their face and giving them a piece of her mind; and you best believe she did the same thing with you.

at one point, demi was straddling you in the ring. both of you breathless with exhaustion, you absolutely a mess both physically and emotionally, and rhea was clearly in her feelings about everything as well. the last straw, though, was when she leaned in closer to your face and said her first words to you since breaking things off.

"you're nothing to me. and you'll never be anything to me."

you saw red the moment she said that to you. whether she said it in character or meant it, you didn't care; she knew what she was doing by saying it. it was like the crowd and the cameras disappeared, and the absolute rage in your body overpowered everything else and you unleashed hell on her. that anger gave you the opportunity to end the match and deliver a finisher, and while normally winning felt amazing...this felt like garbage.

--- ---

alone time in your dressing room gave you way too much time to think about everything that had gone on the ring. you couldn't erase the look on demi's face as she stood over you...the sound of her voice telling you that you meant nothing to her when you'd given so much of yourself to her during your relationship. but apparently you meant nothing? you could barely comprehend it.

a knock at the slightly open door brought you out of your thoughts, but the sight of demi changed out of her ring gear and freshly showered sobered you up real fast. "don't even think about coming in here and talking to me after the shit you pulled out there." you mumbled, already standing up and looking to make your escape.

demi blocked the doorway and closed the door, a gentle look on her face replacing the one riddled with intimidation and anger from earlier in the night. "i just want to talk to you." she said softly. "i know you're pissed, because i would be too. but i just need to talk."

you hesitated, but eventually you gave a small nod and sat back down on the couch. "start talking, then." you mumbled, watching as demi took her spot on the coffee table in front of you.

she ran a nervous hand through her hair and let out a shaky breath before she finally managed to talk to you. "i didn't mean what i said out there." she said softly. "i...i didn't mean any of the horrible things i ever said to you."

you wanted to believe demi, but how could you? the last half of your relationship with her was filled with fights. you'd internalized all of the awful things she'd managed to say to you, whether she meant them or not, and she was just now saying she didn't mean it? "demi, i-"

"no, y/n. i promise." she said quickly with a gentle shake of her head. "i regret all of it. i hate that i ever hurt your feelings or made you cry because that wasn't my intention. i was just...i'd get so angry that i would start saying things but never actually thought of how they would hurt you." you knew when demi was serious...and the this was the most serious you'd seen her in a long time. "i know you probably hate me, but i still really care about you."

her words made your stomach flip; butterflies erupted, knowing that she meant what she was saying. but the pain lingered from everything that had gone on during your relationship. your heart was speaking a lot louder than your brain though, and as you gently reached for demi's hand you spoke up for the first time since she entered the room. "i still really care about you, too."

demi's face lit up like a lightbulb as the realization that not all hope was lost. her free hand came forward to hold your cheek, both of you slowly inching closing to one another until your noses gently touched. "let me show you." she whispered before finally catching you in a gentle kiss.

your next moves were almost a complete blur; the tension had changed around you and demi to not so much angry tension, but this time one of a sexual nature. the two of you hurried in between kisses to remove articles of clothing until there was nothing left, your hands exploring one another's bodies for the first time in weeks. even though it had been some time away from demi, you personally hadn't been with anyone else; the pain was still too real, too fresh for you to introduce another person to this level of intimacy. but this - having demi in this way - it felt so normal. like you hadn't skipped a beat.

her kisses moved down from your lips to your neck and collarbone. demi was quick to adjust herself so you were both sat with your legs interlocked with one another, your bare centers pressed against one another and the heat of the moment causing both of you to moan and whine with anticipation. "dems..." you mumbled breathlessly, your fingers tangling in her hair to keep her as close as possible.

nothing else needed to be said; she knew what you needed, because she needed it just as badly. a small gasp left your lips as demi slowly began to move against you, her arms tightening around your body in response. "look at me, baby." she whispered, leaning your foreheads together as you made eye contact and moaned against one another. as she moved and created friction against your clit, you moved your own hips against her to give demi the same sensation. "you're so beautiful. can't want to feel you cum against me like you used to."

once again, demi's words drove you crazy. you whimpered, your ankles locking behind demi's back to keep her there and move a little faster. as the two of you moved and kissed, it only brought both of you closer and closer to a climax that neither of you had experienced in so long - let alone one the two of you shared - and that thought alone made you cling to demi as if she was going to slip away. "wanna cum with you." you mumbled.

demi smiled, your sweaty forehead leaning against her shoulder while you let out soft incoherent mumbles of the same few words. please...baby...demi...need you...

all of that alone, along with the increased speed creating more friction against your bodies, caused both you and demi to reach your highs at about the same time. you leaned back on your hands with a gasp as your thighs trembled. "fuck...oh fuck!" you whimpered. demi wasn't far behind, her own body shaking with euphoria as she finished as well. she was quick though to pull you closer to her body again, running a hand through your hair and exchanging kisses to work both of you down from your climax.

you opened your eyes to look at demi, a small smile tugging at the corner of your lips. "i think i forgive you." you teased softly, demi's fingers twirling your hair as you cuddled with one another.

[chloecherrysip]

As much as I mourn all the lines that appeared in mario movie trailers but for some reason, didn't make it to the finished product (RIP "I'm not afraid! I'd do anything for my brother!" YOU LIVE ON IN MY HEART ALWAYS AND FOREVER), I've been thinking about "I hope you told your brother how much you love him, because you're probably never gonna see him again" and the rest of that whole dialogue exchange in particular from this specific trailer and how much I wish we'd gotten that moment because I think it would have helped spotlight a vital aspect of Mario's character that the movie already does a REALLY good job with getting across in the first place: the way he communicates how he feels through action and acts of service instead of words!

(more under the cut because this got too long, haha)

Mario is usually a very quiet protagonist so this tracks with the games too, obviously, but even movie!Mario seems like someone who isn't overly verbose or who's especially eager to enter into heavy, feelings-based conversations (at least not without a struggle). Talking about his feelings might not come easy to him, and he maybe even forgets to say things outloud that to him, seem obvious. (Meanwhile, I think Luigi is always up for gushing about his favorite people (see the interrogation scene lol) and probably ends every phone call/text message exchange ever with "love you!" to Mario and his parents, to the point that he might accidentally say it to acquaintances and customers too on occasion, LOL).

So thinking about this exchange with Toad and how, even if the movie didn't acknowledge it past that point, this idea would be hanging over Mario throughout his journey hits harder because you can imagine him thinking: hey, when WAS the last time he told Luigi outright that he loved him that wasn't a distracted "yeah, me too" response to Luigi saying it first? Maybe it's been a long time. Too long. So long it's genuinely upsetting for him to realize! What if his brother doesn't actually know how much Mario loves him, because he does, he does so much, and he's been an idiot for going so long without saying the actual words and now he can't, he CAN'T and he would give anything in the world to go back and do things differently!

And of course, all this panic is totally unwarranted and even silly because I think Luigi knows like his own name how much Mario loves him. Because the audience watching this movie knows how much Mario loves his brother by that point! Mario never says the actual words - in fact, he never says anything particularly positive about Luigi, other than "you were great!" regarding the commercial in the very beginning - and yet it couldn't be any clearer!!! I think it's pretty impossible to come out of this movie (if you were paying attention in the least) not seeing that love plain as day in everything Mario does, down to the littlest things, because he is a man of action and that's how he expresses himself best!

You see it in how he shifts from mildly embarrassed to immediately Intense and Ready To Throw Down on a dime when Spike insults Luigi, you see it in how he pauses to open doors and create paths for Luigi to safely follow him through the construction site as he's parkouring, you see it when the dog becomes aggressive and Mario is just entirely focused on keeping Luigi behind him, pushing him out of harm's way, getting the dog's attention so it will attack him instead, etc. You see it in the warp pipe when his entire demeanor changes the second he realizes Luigi is in trouble, how he desperately paddles to reach him and grab his hand and comfort him about the situation. You see it in how his brother is front of mind for him at every point in his adventure and that's why he fights so hard to talk to Peach, why he agrees to the fight with DK, why he keeps trying even when things seem hopeless and no one believes he can do it. You see it written all over Mario's face during the reunion, every single little way he touches Luigi and brings him closer and checks in on him with crystal-clear relief and joy and gentleness!!! The "show, don't tell" aspect is just OFF THE CHARTS IN THE BEST WAY POSSIBLE because that's how Mario is. He's not so good at words and remembering to say them. When he loves someone, he wears that feeling, he lives that feeling in so much of what he chooses to do and how he interacts with the world, and while it's always good to say these things outloud now and then just to be clear everyone's on the same page (and I'm sure he does after the movie, haha), it doesn't make it any less meaningful. :)

[no-psi-nan]

The first chunk of this post addresses some of your points but to answer it more directly, you're confusing Teruhashi's canon character arc of ADMITTING she likes Saiki with a non-existent arc where she falls in love with who he truly is (which is impossible until he does a power reveal and starts being himself around her for real).

Teruhashi doesn't ever get to know the real Saiki, nor does anyone know him outside of the Psychickers and his family (relevant post).

She thinks he's a guy who sits quietly in the corner and only ever says "good grief". She doesn't know he's a sarcastic mfer who loves to talk back and snark, she doesn't know he spends his free time reading obscure books and playing shitty video games, she doesn't know he'd move heaven and earth to help a stranger and put his life on the line to help a friend.

Teruhashi actually hated the most "real" moment Saiki has been, when they're at the mall/arcade and Saiki smokes her at every single game mercilessly lmao (Saiki won't even let Kaido or Nendo win a game against him, he's extremely opposed to losing). Where's the evidence that Teruhashi would actually LIKE someone who backtalks her and challenges her assumptions? She sure was quick to put Imu in her place lol. And this issue even harkens back to Volume 0, where Saiki questions why girls keep falling in love with him when he's essentially masquerading as a lamp post.

I have a whole post about the karaoke scene specifically too and battled Tumblr to find it for you (I forgor how long ago I wrote this 😳)

So yeah, Teruhashi finally admits to herself that she's in love with a guy that she barely knows anything about, and yet in the final episodes she struggles to compliment him to his grandfather, which hurts his feelings hsfjdlshfks rip.

You'll have to excuse me for not thinking that this is the height of romance lol.

[onlyymirknows]

Hello! For the violence ask game 9 and 13 💜

Hello!! Answering them in opposite order so people who just wanna read about Reiner don’t have to suffer through me going bananas over the Raid of Liberio.

13. worst blorboification

I admittedly don’t know what this means exactly. I assume it’s similar to uwuification? But less making them cute and more oversimplifying the character/intensely focusing only on certain aspects?

Anyway I’m going to say Reiner. Now I am often guilty of doing this to him, I think. Meaning it doesn’t bother/upset me that we blorboify him at times. Mainly I feel like a lot of us tend to paint him in post canon as this mostly silly himbo who has nightmares/the sads.

Imo he really isn’t a himbo (assuming I actually understand the meaning lol.) Plus his mental health struggles would probably also be just, uh, A LOT more. Just way, way more. I could elaborate but (1) I’m not a psychologist and (2) I could talk about it forever. Maybe a diff time lol.

9. worst part of canon

I have a joke answer and a serious answer.

First the joke answer, Reiner sniffing that letter lol. To me it feels like an out of place callback that undercuts much of Reiner’s development. It’s also a single panel that’s fun to meme about sometimes so it gets a pass.

Three things came to mind for the serious answer. First is how incomprehensible Eren’s magical attack titan/founding titan combo is. Second is how Isayama handled geopolitics, which disappointed me. Third (and the one I chose) is the execution of the Liberio festival plotline.

Originally I typed out a big explanation about why aot’s geopolitics bothered me in general. Then I got onto a side tangent about the Liberio Festival and realized that this is actually my least favorite thing lol. Specifically the lack of clear explanation of what happened.

Up until the time skip the plot of aot is explained in a pretty straightforward way. I think this is especially the case when it comes to expounding on the big twists we all love so much. The reveals of RBA are treated like detective stories where after the fact we’re shown the clues and how the characters pieced it together. (I’ve seen people complain about this, saying it’s spoon feeding the audience but I disagree lol)

Then the time skip happens and it feels like the narrative gets so cloudy. Since the question of Eren’s motivations is THE plot of post time skip, I do understand the much increased ambiguity. If we got clear answers in the moment that’d ruin things. However I think the reasoning behind the raid of Liberio is left without a meaningful explanation.

I like to think my critical thinking skills are pretty good and I needed people to explain it to me multiple times. I understand it now but geeze it requires reading between a lot of lines. This in itself isn’t wrong but it’s such a departure from how storylines were dealt with that I hate it lol.

Because lemme tell you, the number of people I’ve seen not understand that Eren wanted Willy to declare war is substantial. I think the fact that Eren and Zeke basically set up the festival to bait Willy into declaring war is even less understood. When people say “Eren had no choice but to rumble” I believe many of them probably feel that way because they don’t understand this arc.

The specific misunderstanding being that Eren attacked because Willy declared war. That if this hadn’t happened Eren wouldn’t have transformed and the raid wouldn’t have happened at all. The fact that this big of a misinterpretation happened so easily is really unfortunate. (It does NOT help that the anime cut out a pretty helpful detail.)

With the Reiner/Bertholdt reveal people aren’t confused by the main plot point: Reiner and Bert are titan shifters who want to destroy humanity for currently unknown reasons. Instead I see people ask stuff like “why did Reiner freak out about Ymir being able to read the words on a can?” or “why does Reiner choose that point to reveal himself?”

Anyway I think that’s probably one of the worst parts and it’s not even about the events of the story itself. Just the execution of the narration. So uh.. maybe I didn’t technically answer the question 😆

[bakedbananners]

Not sure if this is allowed, but i absolutely adore your work, “The Cuckoo’s Egg” on AO3!! Very interesting to read, and realistic too, and i’m also just in love with how descriptive your writing is! Not mention the way you write dissociation and the struggles that come with having DID/OSDD, its so good. If i may ask, how do you view Mob and Shigeo’s (???%) relationship in the work, or just overall?

omg of course! it’s allowed!! thank you for enjoying my fic 😭 !!!

It’s still a WIP, obviously. Even though I haven’t updated it in uhhhhhh A While lol. I’ve written out bits of later chapters that go a bit more into it. Not so explicitly but basically their relationship is like this:

Shigeo is entropy, a spark that ignites as easily as it dissipates, a self-state that coagulates around a specific moment of emotion and burns through it. His existence is meant to be paradoxical, passing between observable and non-observable- like dark matter. He is emotional and volatile, highly reactive with like zero actual coping skills. Being denied feeling anything for so long, when he is essentially feeling incarnate, makes him extremely sensitive to perceived slights specifically from Mob. Because Mob was the one to deny him everything, and his entire world was reduced down to Mob. He feels one thing at a time, even if they’re fleeting sensations, and follows them with a single-minded intensity. He fronts for a specific purpose and steps back when he’s done with it, only truly defined as being whatever Mob is not. So getting along is like a catch-22, in a sense, at least until Shigeo’s gut-reaction to Mob stops being negative :’|

Mob is a framework, a rigid concept. He’s supposed to be rationality, reason, and “normalcy”. Because this is his nature, he’s diametrically opposed to Shigeo. They butt heads constantly, keep walls up and don’t communicate well outside of arguing and finger-pointing. However this is meant to be a temporary state, because during the time of the fic is when Shigeo is processing things, which can be very emotionally difficult because you look back on a lot of things you thought were fine and have to understand that it was very fucked up. Not only that, but Shigeo is an isolated case- insofar as he’s aware- and lacks the language to explain what he went through/ is going through. They do love each other, but that can make it hurt even more when someone you love makes you suffer a lot, so there’s a deep bitterness between them.

Note that when I write Shigeo oftentimes his identities are blended, and they’re not completely separate distinct alters unless it’s deep in the headspace. I keep it pretty vague because identity confusion and ambiguity is a main pillar of what the fic is about.

[kcalsforhim]

monday 25 november 2024 - 𐙚 ˚🍰 ⋆｡˚⊹❀˖°

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cals : ~900

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dinner : pokebowl with salad mix, cucumbers, carrots, edamame beans, avocado, chicken, spicy mayo dressing, nori seaweed seeds and sesame seeds.

dessert : teramisu cake but made out of biscoff lotus cookies... teehee

midnight overeating session / binge : 2 smoked salmon slices, a small serving of mashed potatos, half a cucumber, an apple, like 10 jelly straws, 3 pieces of candy...

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aha guys remember when i said i would go into binge recovery ? haha i failed. anyway i didnt fail nearly as bad this time, and i did cut myself once for every thing i overate... i just dont undersrand why i keep doing this lol but oh well. i talked with eli about it on a deeper level and i really began to think about it ;; im infact still thinking about it... but generally ive come to the conclusion that i need to stop centralising food so much in my life since its all i can think of.. i also want to go back to omad, and generally only not omad when i feel SICKLY and just go from there. i generally always feel like if im omad'ing i restrict better, the only cases not being when i feel siiiick to my stomach.. but then again... every time i felt sick from restricting so much... it kind of felt amazing too.. im also thinking of feeding my friend, specifically the one close to me since haku has been dieting for a long time and i dont want to overfeed him. generally i think it would be a good idea since i can dispose of food and still keep him happy... i just... really should focus on getting rid of all food that is appealing out of my life as well as just seeing it as fuel... i want to stop indulging so much... thats easier said than done... ive done alot of reflecting and honestly so far in november there has not been a single day where i felt proud of how i did, in comparison to october where i felt like i did great 90% of the days... omad is definently a good starting point, learning to say no more often... in general, food does not run away from me if i dont eat it, even in my own house. i struggle more with sweets than i do with salty stuff, im so afraid of it running away... but i need to stop being afraid... food is not my friend.. i shouldnt like it or indulge in it so much, it damages my progress and the guilt i feel after lasts for days if not weeks now... i really wish i could take controll of myself again.. but. i will. not give up, thats the last thing i want to do. in the grand scheme of things, one month of wasted time is not the end of it, i can pick myself up and i can always fix things and get back on track, i just have to keep trying and pushing... even if its hard or im having my moments where it feels like restricting is literally impossible, i have to keep trying... over... and over... and over... and over... and over... so ive kind of concluded on a few things i want to do moving forward

i want to generally try to restrict as much as i can, this is hard for me, because i actually very much enjoy food, but food is not my friend. i will try to omad as much as i can or just skip meals as much as i can.

avoid fast food places as much as possible from now on, if not all together, fast food places are packed with calories... making at home versions are ok... but i actually felt terrible the last few times and it never felt satisfying ?

stop drinking so many liquid calories...

FOCUS ON PORTION SIZES, i cannot stress this enough, dont try to fit every single last cal into what you can eat... focus on plating a satisfying amount except for plating how much you can eat (with an exception to vegetables).

today i also went out with my friend.. that was fun.. he got me some stuff which is always nice

some body checks i took.. im not very proud of what i look like, i feel like i could look so much better if only i actually tried my best...

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here is some BEAUTIFULL photo's i found online... this is waaay rather what id look like... and i should work harder from now on to get to that point...

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this song is nice and... kind of eery..

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[squarebracketsmileyface]

will Tim chest/breastfeed Birdie? apologies if its a weird question, i just was wondering if there were reasons Tim hasn't gotten top surgery (or at least not yet) other than he either just chose not to/can't afford it at the moment. and i confess, something about seahorse dads/gnc birth parents feeding their babies the old fashioned way just makes my heart happy :D

Not a weird question at all :D

Tim during MH/S,IL currently doesn't have top surgery because he can't afford it and because he wouldn't be able to heal it properly if he could afford it. He's very aware of how the whole "masked state" thing could impact healing a surgery like that. Masky kinda does whatever he wants and Tim knows that "whatever he wants" usually doesnt include going to A&E or whatever when hes injured (broken leg incident, my headcanon is that Tim had to get that leg rebroken and set properly at some point because it healed wrong and left him with chronic pain and a limp, tho I haven't mentioned that in S,IL lol, it's just in my head constantly).

Also I guess medical trauma would have at least some role to play in the decision too currently? Later on he'd probably work through some of that, but currently he's probably not comfortable with much more medical treatment than just seeing his GP. Like, going to A&E or into an actual hospital isn't something he'll completely refuse to do, but it definitely puts him in a very specific and traumatized state of mind. Maybe even triggers Masky to front and Masky's way to fix that feeling of "oh god oh god oh god this is just like when we were a kid" is to simply leave no matter how important it was for them to be there 💀

But yeah! :D

he'd chest feed Birdie, since he's definitely not having top surgery between December 2013 and May 2014. I think he'd probably wait until Birdie was able to look after herself before he has top surgery, since he is a single dad until Birdie is like, 10ish, and top surgery does require you to rest a lot to recover from. Sure he's made a few friends in the pickup line at Birdie's school, but none of them he'd call close enough to ask for that sort of help from. And he's not in contact with his mum and doesn't have a dad, so he can't even ask for help from them, he's completely on his own unfortunately.

So honestly if Brian didn't come back into his life when Birdie was 10, he'd probably be waiting until Birdie was at least sorta 18 ish before he got top surgery, so he'd know she'd be okay and he'd also be able to rely on her to help him a bit after surgery, like, driving him home from the hospital after surgery and all that stuff. Thankfully Brian does come back into his life though so I'm thinking he probably has top surgery when Birdie's maybe 12-14ish? Something like that? Once Brian's properly established in their lives and Tim knows he's not going anywhere and they've reconnected fully so he feels comfortable asking for that kind of support from Brian. Obviously that still has it's own difficulties what with Brian being in a wheelchair, but they make it work, and I do think Brian would have an adaptive vehicle with have controls so he can drive and stuff.

I also love seahorse dads and GNC parents chest feeding and stuff like that, just, trans parents in general, y'know? It's just such a fuck you to society, especially a transphobic society and a society that doesn't expect fathers to be as involved in the care of their children as it expects mothers to. Tim being a single dad is already a great big middle finger to that stupid narrative of dads not being involved in childcare, and then him also being so involved in feeding Birdie as a baby too, idk, there's just something special about it to me.

I feel like chest feeding would definitely be something he finds kinda conflicting, like, he loves it because that's his baby he's looking after, but also I think it'd bring him a very specific brand of dysphoria so he really struggles with it mentally too. He definitely wouldn't end up chest feeding Jesse (his theoretical kid with Brian) later down the line. Mostly because I feel like at that point he'd have had top surgery and idk if you can still chest feed after that, I'm assuming no though, but also because even if he hadn't had top surgery, the dysphoria the first time just wouldn't be something he'd wanna have to deal with again, yknow? It was awful and he really really struggled with it, so it's not something he wants to put himself through again.

But yeah :D

[fernsnailz]

OH ALSO. ik you said something abt how some aspects of your feelings on the shth game have changed - what would you say is different now? (again feel free to ignore this)

oh yeah! overall, most of my feelings about shth2005 have remained the same - that game is a contradictory mess and i adore it. i mostly have a few minor grievances with my big shadow 2005 analysis essay. i'll talk under the cut about some specific moments that i think a little differently on - if you haven't read the big shadow essay, i'd say read it first and then come back to read this post.

grievance #1: The Doom

"being Good or Neutral around Maria makes WAY more sense than taking the Dark path. The game’s morality system breaks so badly in [The Doom] that things start to make sense again."

i still mostly agree with my thoughts on The Doom, and the game's failure in design affecting the morality system is something that i think could prompt further discussion. but a couple of people pointed out that the hero mission is still an interesting indicator to shadow's emotional state on the darker paths, and i don't want to completely discredit that concept because i like it a lot.

The Doom's hero mission is grueling. 60 gun soldiers to defeat in a maze level is not something most players would be willing to do. but it may be something that shadow is willing to do on a darker path - rage leading him to hunt and eliminate every single human he can find is harrowing, and it's a malevolence that the darker paths of this game fail to really show. so as much as i dislike the morality missions in this game, i do think they're an interesting measurement of the lengths shadow is willing to go to if it means defeating his enemy. the guy just doesn't stop.

grievance #2: boy what on earth is that take about the hero cast

"They want Shadow to work for them because of a desire to prove their side of the cycle is the right one."

i'll be real with you i think there was a bit too much analysis going on here lol. the heroes want shadow's help because there's a literal alien invasion threatening to wipe out all life on earth. are they manipulative towards shadow? i mean sometimes, but i don't think most of them do it out of malice or intentionally, and i definitely don't think they really care about proving their side of the moral compass right during the Fucking Alien Armageddon.

the only hero character that i think would be deliberately manipulative (minus eggman) is sonic, and i don't think he would consciously realize it. best example i have of sonic's occasional manipulative attitude towards shadow is the whole "if he can't be forgiven, can you?" bit from the mr tinker arc in IDW. and this is really only something he does to shadow - sometimes he just wants to get under shadow's skin without realizing what he's actually saying. sometimes sonic's just an asshole! and i like that, it's an interesting aspect to sonic that i wish was explored a little more in shth2005, the game about his rival. idk that's all i have to say here

grievance #3: who is shadow even?

"to him, doing what’s “right” means giving as many people as possible that same chance at life. It’s not a justification of morals or a desire to be heroic that leads Shadow down this path - it’s just what he wants to do."

i've circled around my final opinions in my shadow 2005 essay a lot because honestly. i don't really know where i stand on these thoughts currently lol. shadow is inconsistent enough that i struggle to really pin down what exactly he deems as "right" or what he even wants to do most of the time - it's especially difficult to pin these things down when trying to cover shadow as a whole across the entire franchise, which is what i was trying to do here. because man, does this guy feel all over the place when you look at everything.

i think there's truth in the idea that shadow doesn't really care about protecting the people of sonic's world (this sonic channel story explores that concept a bit). at the same time, i think it's also entirely possible that this "i don't care what happens to others" attitude is a bit of a front he puts up (especially around sonic). and as silly and non-canon as i think the sonic twitter takeovers are, i do think they were kinda cooking something when they made shadow work at a soup kitchen. these are all somewhat different ideas and interpretations of shadow, but i think they're all plausible for this character. personally, i'd rather embrace the inconsistency then try to limit him to one worldview.

the only solid "truth" i can formulate about shadow's motivations right now is this: whatever he deems right, or whatever he wants to do, he decides for himself because it's his life. he doesn't do these things for maria, or for gerald, or for the rest of the world. his choices and actions are his own - maybe inspired by others, but not for them. and the things he decides to do are often inconsistent because he's an immortal, traumatized, teenage hedgehog - a paradoxical creation that's still learning how to live. he might be the ultimate life form, but it's more important to me that he's just shadow.

[exilepurify]

The first OVA for MP100 has really interesting connotations in terms of what Reigen actually knows about Mob’s experiences. Reigen’s the one who’s narrating the recap, so we can assume the perspective and the things he mentions are solely based on his own understanding of the situation.

Obviously the nature of a recap episode is that not every detail can be included, and I recognize that I might be applying meaning to what may just be limitations of the form, but it’s fun to speculate about the meeting of meaning and execution, so why not, right?

When Reigen is describing the events of season 1, he completely skips over Teruki strangling Mob. If it’s meant to be a recap for the audience, the strangling was maybe the most important thing to happen in the whole fight other than the ???% explosion. It’s where Teruki’s worldview starts to break down, it’s a moment where Teruki’s desperation causes him to betray his own moral boundaries (“What am I doing???”), and it’s where we first learn about Mob hurting Ritsu—the inciting incident for quite literally every single thing that happens in the entire plot of Mob Psycho 100. But not only does Reigen not mention those at all, they also don’t show any footage of it happening. It skips directly from the knives to Mob’s ???% explosion.

In the scene that happens in S1E6, where Mob asks Reigen about what qualifies as self defense, Mob mentions balding Teruki, shredding his clothes, destroying his school, and throwing him up in the air, but he doesn’t mention Teruki strangling him to Reigen. Ever.

Mob also never tells Reigen about the incident where he hurt his brother with his ???% explosion as kids. He mentions to Reigen that his powers are dangerous and that he’s scared of hurting people, but his guilt compels him to never mention the specifics of the event to anyone but Ritsu. And directly because of Reigen never knowing the severity of Mob’s concerns, he underestimates Mob’s internal struggles and even trivializes them sometimes, which is why he has the whole “I didn’t know!!!!” moment in the finale. If he knew that guilt was eating Mob alive like that, he would’ve handled it better than he did, obviously.

Instead, Mob writes in that part himself, sitting alone in his bedroom, rather than transcribing what Reigen is narrating. And even when he does write about it, he chooses to say very little in detail. The audience sees the whole scene play out to fulfill the purpose of the recap, but Mob’s internal dialogue—which is reading out in his head what he’s currently writing—says (in the dub bc it’s the one I currently have downloaded for amvs lol), “When my brother, Ritsu, was little, he would get really happy whenever I showed him my powers. But, because I hadn’t learned how to control them, I ended up hurting the brother I loved so much. Because of me, Ritsu…” And from here it transitions immediately to the alley scene. He really doesn’t even say much. When a kid says they hurt their brother, the first things that come to your mind usually aren’t all that serious. It’s pretty common for siblings to hit and bite (sorry to my older sister—I was a biter 😬) and stuff sometimes, especially when young. No one would assume he was talking about pretty serious head trauma from just that.

He does, apparently, know about Mob and Teru torturing Terada via waterboarding. I’m assuming Teru told him that part. It certainly wasn’t Terada. He seems to think the torture is hilarious, though. “*in a laughing, smug voice* This poor soul was tortured and embarrassed. He was in way over his head—literally.” It kinda was, tbf.

Obviously the integrity of the story starts going straight off the rails at this point, with Reigen poorly photoshopping himself into every scene to fulfill his chuunibyou complex. I’m just going to blanket assume that everything Reigen knows about Mob’s actions in the claw division before he arrived there himself comes from a mixture of Mob’s bare-bones reporting and Teruki bragging about the details of power level and technique and stuff.

When it comes to Mob’s 100% rejection and defeating Muto, Reigen openly admits to only knowing of his existence through hearsay and that Mob doesn’t remember how he defeated him. However, for the sake of recap, the audience is shown the full scene of Mob hitting the ceiling on his counter and freaking out, so that’s another interesting dichotomy between Reigen’s understanding of the story vs. what we are shown as the audience in the recap.

And then everything after this point was witnessed by Reigen firsthand, so it’s not so much about his understanding of the situation than it is about the way he’s framing it (which is poorly).

Anyway, it’s super clear that even back in season 1, Reigen had no idea what was actually going on with Mob. And if he did, he didn’t know the ways it was affecting him, or the most heartbreaking details had been fully excluded.

[faeryaesther]

2, 3, 14!

thank you and happy holidays to you, maya!

2. what sport moment made you cry? (happy)

>is it a cop-out answer if I say Jannik winning AO moment lol. but yeah I genuinely cried watching that. Zii Jia's bronze medal match + interviews that came after that (given how I know how much he struggled and everything he faced coming to Paris). I specifically remember Rio 2016, Lee Chong Wei v. Lin Dan semifinal match. oh that was... i genuinely crode. and probably when we got triple gold at the paralympics (rio 2016) for the first time (all track and field, but especially the 100m.). Then, I'd say when we got another gold from the paralympic (long jump T20. lore: our athlete broke his ankle on his 2nd try but his record was unbeatable so it was so emotional to see him on the podium, crying and yes i crode in front of the tv as well lol)

but tbh i don't really cry that much watching sports, so these were really specific given the build-up to these wins.

3. what sport moment had you jumping up and down?

> Aaron Chia/Soh Wooi Yik bronze medal match. I had to pick this again. I can't believe I experienced this match live LMFAO it was insane, really. Imagine you were in the second game (tennis term = set), 16-20 with your opponent literally had a match point. and racked the points again, winning the second game against ALL odds. Then at the third game, the score was not that far from each other, eventually got to the match point 20-19. Any badminton fan knows that things can get messy here. either you go shittons of deuces until point 30 or end it right there. and they ended it there. after almost losing this bronze medal. crazy stuff.

>then i'd say sincaraz beijing final. we know how that went especially the last tiebreak lmfaoooo

[from what i've watched live]

but if i were to recall back some old matches I'd say both singles matches from AO17. but i'm not that expressive either when watching a match so yeah the most i'd do is just a fistbump lol

14. do you have a 'comfort' athlete? why do you like them?

An Seyoung! (Badminton's women's singles) and Jannik (obv, unfortunately lol)

Idk watching seyoung feels just right for me. She's so important to (me) badminton and she's just so precious and nice and kind aaaa she's everything to me ;__; other badminton players probably Watanabe Yuta (mixed doubles) and Tai Tzu Ying (women's singles). i would probably start a war if anything goes against her actually lol one of badminton's biggest what-ifs and idk she deserves everything, really. (All England 2022 is so special to me bcs of tty/seyoung hehe)

this is just me talking wtv but i genuinely feel like iga and seyoungie are the same person, just different font lol 😭 their personalities are so similar and *coughs* their arms and thighs literally haha

!WILL NOT ELABORATE!

(anyways i love seyoung so much i'd take bullets for her and will actually fight the korean assoc. if needed, if she tells me to jump from a building i'll literally do it without asking she's that person to me lol)

and jannik probably because he was the first tennis player that I like without any other influences. I genuinely like him for his games and as a player. before that, it was like oh my dad was interested in them, or my mom enjoyed watching them, etc. but I found jannik by myself. and went through his losses and wins while watching him grow his tennis. I definitely experienced a lot of new emotions with him.

+bonus: tokito.

I can't stress on how much i love watching him grow as we speak. Winning a channel slam at 17? who the fuck did that? yes, tokito oda did. he is currently the men's youngest slam titles holder, including the able-bodied players. insane stuff, really. He is 10-1 in slams this year, only loss at wimbledon, which eventually won by Alfie. The funny thing here is that oda CAN beat alfie in singles, but Alfie literally went into god modes when playing doubles with gordon so all of tokito's doubles slam finals losses were against alfie/gordon djfkdjhf

anyways here's babygoat

[phoenix-is-the-hottest-thing]

What are your opinions on mobius?

*stares at current icon, which is Mobius in a santa outfit, drawn by my friend @cloud-ya*

She’s my favorite character

To be a bit less meme-y and more detailed, her chapter in ER is my favorite part of Honkai— she’s hyped up JUUUST right, painted as this deranged mad scientist and villain, and then you peel back the story through upgrading the vessels and talking to other characters more and you realize there’s more to her.

I love that.

Mobius is undoubtedly fucked up. She’s lacking a bunch of morals, and the ones she does have, like specifically ensuring consent to her experiments (the Sim didn’t but the real one reportedly did) can be very… contractual. Like how she gets Hua to agree to experiments by pushing her— sure, she said yes, but she said yes because they’re desperate and Mobius is insisting, and agreeing to retrieve the box didn’t mean agreeing to get possessed for science. Obviously this isn’t true consent, but on a technicality it respects Mobius’s moral code. It’s like a kid getting asked whether they ate yet who pops a single candy in their mouth then says yes. Honestly I relate to that dhdhdhf

I like this contrast, though!

Another fun thing is that she’s probably the eldest of the Flame-Chasers, and the one who’s worked with MOTH the longest, and she absolutely does not have the patience to be. She’s also super autistic? I relate to her a lot. Did you know that when she gets mad she just plops herself on her couch and pops bubble wrap for hours. Iconic work ethic. I love her.

Her stubborn fascination with life and death leads her to subvert some mad scientist tropes, for example her insistence to humanize the MANTIS. There’s also the way she treats her assistants and creations, very unusual for the archetype which tends to be all SCIENCE and no time to raise anybody.

If you paid attention, for all that she can troll them or punish them a little, she’s never cruel and nurtures them properly.

When she hears Fuxi and Nuwa messed up and tried to hide it she makes them copy the lab safety rules, this was very much a pedagogical decision with their safety in mind, not her taking her anger out on them. In fact I don’t think she really does that at any moment?

Even the Sim (more morally dubious already) attacking Mei is doing it with a set purpose, nothing personal. For such an overtly malicious character she… doesn’t actually act on malice very much lol. At most she’s very selfish, and her curiosity drives her to perform cruel actions, rather than an intent to harm. The rest of the time she’s quite serious, wants what’s best for everyone, on paper that’d be quite pleasant uh?

When there’s interpersonal friction it usually comes down to what you can easily read as neurodivergence; Elysia and Hua observe that Mobius makes no difference between herself and others. In other words, she assumes that what SHE can tolerate, anyone can or should be able to, which isn’t true. Struggling with that stuff is very autistic coded. I relate. It makes her struggles and everyone demonizing her more tragic, too. I’d wager that everyone calling her names and alienating her greatly contributed to her cynical ways, making the issue worse.

Despite all that though, she treats her creations well, and instead of trying to control them she makes a point of giving them the freedom to be themselves and supports their choices, even if she doesn’t agree with them (like trying to push ELF Klein away by showing her what working together would be like, because she thought Klein wouldn’t be able to handle it, but since Klein could she gave up and accepted both that she had projected her anxieties and Klein’s own choice).

Big subversion to mad scientist tropes there! This leads to pretty much all of her creations adoring her (aside from the Sim but like, self-hatred go brrrr).

It makes lots of sense when you keep in mind that she’s also a child abuse survivor. She claims she throws her creations to the wolves because even humans are only left to themselves, but she’s lying.

The sim sacrifices herself for Klein’s sake (both of them lovingly protect and raise Klein), the real one leaves a loving message for her sim, to the Gray Serpents of the early days she was so important that they dedicated themselves to understand what it would mean to follow her wish to be free by CREATING MULTIPLE CULTS, and they still lowkey worship her as their creator after 50 000 years…

Yeah she cares a lot. She cares a lot about Griseo too, as well as other Flame-Chasers, like Eden, Vill-V or Elysia (despite being annoyed).

Her relationship with Vill-V is also interesting, because when Mobius realizes she’s similar to herself, her first impulse is to kill her immediately. Ultimately she doesn’t, but it was really a “recognition of the self through the other (derogatory)” moment. She also warns Vill-V multiple times about the weight of failure, and I think she pretty much sees herself fifteen years younger in her— a brilliant neurodivergent scientist with a few moral screws loose about to get smacked with the reality of the Apocalypse. Really can’t see this as romantic but ymmv.

TLDR

My opinion is that she’s just full of interesting character depth and I just eat that up, especially since I have a particular fondness for morally dubious mom types that care very much deep down.

[redmemoirs]

Orange green blue and white for Retsu and Amira! ^^

thank you for asking <333 answered orange for retsu and white for amira here!

🟠 Orange- What is a trait your OC hides about themself from others? Do they refuse to acknowledge it or begrudgingly accept it?

Amira: how incredibly jealous she is of others. it's something she really struggles with. before she loved her sister or kiki (in different ways of course) she was deeply jealous of them for their pedigree and how it seemed like they had everything so easy. even after she realises how untrue that is she finds herself drawing comparisons all the time. she's not ashamed of her background, which makes the feeling worse because it comes with a side of guilt. she's definitely far from acceptance on this lol

🟢 Green- What is considered a weakness in your OC that is actually a strength? What is a strength in your character that can be twisted into a weakness?

Retsu: ohh first is definitely her apathy to politics. one could argue it gives her a unique perspective... for the second, i think her loyalty would be the obvious answer.

Amira: from a noble's perspective it would be her humble birth and childhood. it shaped her as a person though, and she wouldn't be half the person she is now without the sense of community her hometown imparted in her. it takes a village and all that. the second case is very specific - her family's territory is right on the border with tanbarun on the clarines side and they manage the border crossings. amira has a reputation there for being able to recognise anyone who's passed through even just once, which instead inspires the kind of shifty people she should be looking for to find ways to dodge around her or simply be on exceptionally good behaviour. it comes up when mihaya reappears during tanbarun arc, because him managing to escape into tanbarun is a failing on her part.

🔵 Blue- How would your OC spend a single day of interrupted peace? Where would they go or who would they be with?

Retsu: ... all roads lead to haki. she would love to return to their childhood days when haki just did whatever she wanted and retsu got to follow her around all the time.

Amira: she would love to spend an idle day just hanging out with her sister. they don't really spend much time together, or even in the same house really - since their lands are along the border with tanbarun, they're careful about having at least one person in the area all the time. usually that's amira, while her sister is away on other duties. other than that, maybe just a day in town, chatting with the locals and stimulating the economy and all that. she prefers being around people to being alone.

⚪️ White- When was a moment in your OC's life that they felt the most vulnerable and exposed? Were they alone or surrounded?

Retsu: not sure how to answer this one so heres top 10 worst moments of retsu's life, in no particular order

her brother's death. she was part of the knight circle when it happened (not yet the captain) and found out through gossip. one of the few times she remembers being truly, genuinely angry.

The Wedding Invitation, naturally. she was alone with haki, which is always her ideal scenario, except it felt like a permanent goodbye.

the bergatt situation. following some incidents in the north and house arleon's refusal, she was engaged to touka for a while. she very nearly threw her family name away in order to avoid it. before it got to that point though, the canon arc happened, and zen didn't ask for her help, which stung.

actually this is just a top 3