#no last name bcs volunteers from two don't have last names

[jishyucks]

Crayon Confessions – njm

‣ pairing: na jaemin x reader

‣ genre: fluff, f2l/co'workers'-to-lovers

‣ wc: 2.2k

‣ summary: You have two weaknesses—Gojo and men with kids… and you guess, Jaemin. That would make it three, but he falls under that second category; alternatively, in which you weren’t really planning on developing feelings for Na Jaemin but seeing him work with kids all the time at the local community centre is making it damn hard not to.

‣ warnings: genuinely don't think there's anything, low-key rushed ending

‣ an: this is honestly not my best but FINALLY MY LAST PART OF THE SERIES IM CELEBRATING YIPEEEEEE—yes i know this is set in december and its now may but it's bc this was supposed to be posted during the holidays 😭 my dumbass overestimated my capabilities and school got in the way but all that matters is that i actually finished a 12 part series?? patting myself on the back,, ANYWAYS to those who actually followed my series I thank you so much. PLS ENJOY THIS! <33

Series Masterlist

You have two weaknesses—Gojo and men with kids. And within the past few months, Na Jaemin has been fighting his way to the top of that list despite (technically) fitting under that second category. 

The more time you spent with him, the more you were able to make out that Jaemin obviously wanted to make a name for himself rather than being lumped into a handful of men—and you didn’t like it.

You’ve only known the guy just shy of six months, having chosen to volunteer at the community centre since July, and he’s managed to shimmy his way into your life like it was his purpose. And it makes you angry because he was perfect—perhaps as perfect as the dozens of fictional men you’ve crushed on.

Only Jaemin wasn’t fictional. 

In fact, he was sitting two tables away from you, helping the kids spell out the words they needed to include in the holiday greetings cards. 

“You’re staring again.” 

Giselle presses her lips into a tight line to keep her laugh from bursting out. 

Your eyes widened, trying to recollect yourself when you realized that you were, in fact, staring at Jaemin, “Was I being obvious?” 

Giselle hums, tilting her head to muster up an answer, “Mm… a little?”

“Not a little. A lot.” 

You and Giselle turn to Lily, one of the kids you’ve both grown close to over the past few months. You raise a brow at her, “Aren’t you supposed to be making these cards?” 

Lily snickers and goes back to her given task of colouring a poorly printed Santa Claus. You turn back to Giselle, who’s already offering an apologetic look because kids are blunt. 

“Okay, you were more than a little bit obvious but that boy was too oblivious to notice,” she shrugs, “I think, at least.” Giselle taps the pile of finished cards against the table to line them all up before placing them again at the centre of the table.

You groan, tempted to bang your head against the shared table in front of you. “Please tell me you’re joking.” 

“I’m not,” Giselle snorts, “But I really don’t think he saw you. He’s too busy with the kids.” She nods her head in Jaemin’s direction and your eyes follow without a second thought.

The sight was one you’ve seen countless times yet it still makes you swoon every time you lay eyes on the scene. Jaemin’s perfect smile is etched on his face as he leans over one of the youngest kids, fixing the way the boy is holding the marker. The boy lets out a little giggle, reciprocating the smile on the elder’s face.

“Look away before you lose yourself again,” Giselle teases, using her index finger to turn your face away from Jaemin’s direction. Giselle immediately notices the way a look of sheepishness replaces your charmed expression. She pats your shoulder, almost coming in the form of a push, “I bet if you asked him out he would say yes.”

“I’ll only ask him out if I’m sure he likes me back,” you whisper. “I have literal receipts of clues that he does like you back,” Giselle threatens to pull her phone out despite your organizer discouraging the use of any devices during the shifts. 

You shake your head, head mentally raking through all the times you Jaemin had made you feel like sinking into the hard cold cement. “Those were just times I was overthinking everything… I’m sure he’s just naturally nice.”

“Well, he is naturally nice,” Giselle nods, “But you can’t tell me that all the things he’s done were done solely to be nice.” Giselle leans back on her chair and narrows her eyes at you, “He’s too old to be on Santa’s list anyway.” 

“I don’t consider holding the door open for me and bringing me hot chocolate that one time as clues.” 

One of the other little girls pushes an unfinished piece of paper and the small baby safety scissors your way. By reflex, you pick it up from where she started having trouble, snipping away the excess paper before handing it back for her to glue onto construction paper. 

“How about that one time he walked you home?”

“He said he was going to his grandma’s—” you counter.

“Could’ve been an excuse,” Giselle shrugs, “Real reason could be he wanted to spend time with you without having to ask for it.” 

“I was wrong. I think you’re the delusional one here,” you narrow your eyes and tap your feet against the floor underneath you. Jaemin was Jaemin. Soon after meeting him, you caught on to the fact that he was naturally playful, almost coming off as a flirt to everyone he encountered. 

“I’m not being delusional,” Giselle rolls her eyes and leans in closer to you so that whatever comes out of her mouth next can’t be heard by anyone around you, “Do you want me to list everything that’s happened between him and you over the past few months? ‘Cause you’re asking for it.”

You shake your head, already knowing which ones she’d list. Giselle already told you that if she could, she’d make a PowerPoint presentation of Top 10 Jaemin and Y/N Moments for fun, but you were lucky that she had been swamped in both school and volunteer work to even start it. 

“You’re acting like I’m not the one who’s told you these things,” you blink, “And like I said, any of them could be a product of delusion.” 

Giselle peeks over at you through the corners of her eyes and smirks, “Oh, but there are ones that you haven’t seen that I have…”

And just like that, Giselle has all of your attention. It’s like she’s grasping it with the tips of her fingers, playing with it to tease you. 

“Like?” You gesture for her to begin, not wanting to waste a single passing second.

Another kid at the table holds up her card for Giselle to see, “Miss Giselle, how does it look?” 

Giselle’s eyes light up and she smiles, “I love how you coloured the tree, Nari! Do you need help cutting it out?” 

Nari shakes her head, “I’ll try myself first.”

Giselle nods, “Sounds good to me!” Then once she’s sure that Nari is back and busy with the paper tree, she turns back to you, “Do you want it in chronological order?”

Your brows furrow, “It doesn’t matter to me.”

She hums and begins, “You know how you came when me and Jaemin have already been here for a little while?” 

You nod.

“Well, Jaemin, every single day since we both started, kept his things in that one corner locker. He told me once he hated the other lockers with a passion but never really told me why. It was actually hilarious because there was one shift when Jisung came earlier than he did and he snatched it before Jaemin and Jaemin told him off,” Giselle snorted, recalling the memory, “It was stupid. I remember telling Jaemin to let the boy be, but he was… territorial? I don’t know how to word it.” 

“Where are you going with this?” you say impatiently.

“I’m getting there,” she huffs, “Anyway, when you came, you were stuck with that one locker at the top, right?”

You nod again.

“I remember you kept complaining to me about hating the locker—”

“It was too high for me to even reach the hook!” You say.

“I know, but that’s beside the point,” Giselle laughs, “My point is the very next day, Jaemin came early for the shift and instead of taking that corner locker, he claimed that top locker despite his usual one being free. It’s been that way ever since. Now you always take that corner one.”

“And?”

“What do you mean ‘And?’” Giselle’s jaw drops, “Don’t you see? He was territorial over a damn locker and when you came along, he went out of his way to move lockers just because he saw you were struggling with the top one.” “He’s just being ni—”

“Do I need to remind you that Ningning, who’s shorter than you, literally complained about the same thing and he didn’t do shi—” Giselle catches herself from swearing, remembering the setting, “—Anything to help her?”

You don’t reply and Giselle takes this as a sign to continue, “Then, there have been those days you come to a shift tired because you’ve been awake since dawn because of your eight AMs, right?” You don’t do anything but blink and Giselle continues, “I’ve seen that man go out of his way to take up some of your harder tasks just so your shift is easier and you can relax. But when I come to the shifts tired and you’re not there and he is, he just laughs in my face!” 

You laugh because it just sounds like Giselle’s taking this as an opportunity to rant to you about her playful rivalry with Jaemin. 

“Don’t laugh! Can’t you see where I’m going with my examples?” she whines, “I know you’re smart, Y/N!”

You shake your head, “I need you to explain it more bluntly, Gi.” 

Giselle facepalms, a sigh flying out of her lips, “What I’m saying is that Jaemin pays attention to you more than you think… he treats you a hundred times better than any of us but, obviously, you’re too blind to see it because you’re still hung up on the idea that he’s just ‘being nice’.”

You swallow a pool of spit you didn’t even know was sitting in your mouth and you process your friend’s explanation. The idea of the possibility of Jaemin actually liking you back was something you thought about once in a while, but it was usually in your bed right before you went to sleep giggling. Never did these thoughts appear in broad daylight, much less with Jaemin sitting just yards away.

The thought tickles your stomach and you wanna say something to Giselle, though you’re unsure what. And before you could bring yourself to open your mouth, you felt a light tap against your shoulder.

“Miss Y/N?” 

You’re punted out of your thoughts when one of the little boys from Jaemin’s table appears to your left, entering your line of sight.

“Hi, Junnie! What’s up?” you bend down slightly at the waist, eyeing the card and the crayon he’s holding in his hand. 

He makes no effort to say anything else. Instead, he holds out the two items in his small hands, waiting for you to take them. When you gently do, he takes a step back, holding his arms behind his back to watch you read the card.

The front of the card was just a normal card, the greeting ‘Happy Holidays’ written on the front in a child’s handwriting in red and green crayon. Underneath the words was a Christmas tree, glued on there by, who you assumed was, Junnie. 

Then, when you open it, your heart skips a beat and a half. 

In crayon, in messy yet very cute writing you read: 

Are you a Christmas tree? 

Because I'm really pining fir you!

Dinner date?

“It’s from Mister Jaemin,” Junnie says from behind the card. He’s teetering on the balls of his feet, cheeks being pushed up by his smile.

Your heart is now pounding against your chest because it is all playing out perfectly, like how it would in a movie. With Giselle telling you things you’ve never noticed before, to you denying, and now Junnie was just sent by Jaemin to send you this cute little letter to confess to you—you’re not sure how to react.

“Oh, really?” you question.

“Really?” Giselle gasps from next to you. 

Your eyes immediately dart across the room and to the mentioned boy, who’s awfully pretending to busy himself with the scraps of paper littering the table.

“What’s your answer?” Junnie questions.

Embarrassingly, you don’t even hesitate to scribble down your answer underneath the question. Handing it back to Junnie, you wave for him to come closer and you bring your mouth up to his ear, “Can you help me play a small trick on Mister Jaemin?” 

Junnie nods, a mischievous smile appearing almost instantly on his face.

“When you go over there to give him this, I want you to pretend to be sad, okay? Make him think it’s not a yes.” 

Junnie struggles to contain his smile before nodding once more, then turns to make his way back to Jaemin.

You follow the young boy with your eyes, watching as he does his very best to maintain a poker face. You watch as Jaemin turns to him, a look of confusion surfacing his face when he sees that Junnie is not smiling like he had anticipated and you can’t help but snicker.

The moment Junnie’s within hearing vicinity, Jaemin says something to him that you obviously couldn’t hear. Junnie glances back at you and then reveals your answer to Jaemin and you know he’s done it the second Jaemin’s face lights up. 

You chuckle as Jaemin looks up at you, his face breaking into a wide smile. He waves at you shyly, like a bashful kid, before silently mouthing, "Tomorrow?"

You nod, warmth spreading across your cheeks. Giselle makes a comment over your shoulder but you don’t quite catch it, the cells in your body buzzing in excitement. 

Tomorrow couldn't come soon enough.

taglist: @tytrackfebreze @lovesuhng @hoonieji @niinjo @dinonuguaegi @reignessance

an: 12/12!! This was poorly proofread so I'm sorry if there are any grammatical errors or mistakes but I wanted to finish this so I can work on other wips!! I HOPE YOU ENJOYED READING THIS,, THANK YOU!

[zealousstuff-idk]

hii!! id love to read some brokerdoll fluff, there's not nearly enough out there 😭 i don't have very specific stuff in mind, but them being gentle and soft with each other is so special to me ❤️‍🩹

FIRST ASK AND ITS BROKERDOLL LETS GOOO

nah but I agree with you 100% anon, I’m willing to volunteer to bring out more content for these two bc they deserve it

BrokerDoll Fluff

Warnings: There will be some NSFW headcannons, but nothing too spicy, but more intimate than anything. MINORS DNI! soft sex, oral, praise k!nk, teasing? Hope y’all enjoy~

Ok so knowing that these two work separate jobs, I feel like they would get each other gifts once in a while to show how much they love each other.

Like Carmilla would either send out/physically leave flowers to Velvette’s studio

It would range from a singular flower to an entire bouquet of them

And once she would get her hands on them, she will immediately move them to a pretty vase, and leave them by her work desk.

Meanwhile Velvette will send out one of her assistants to bring coffee for Carmilla, knowing well enough that she’s really busy, so she could use the caffeine

They would definitely owe it to each other once they get home

Imagine, Its late in the night, Velvette is just getting home and walks toward her shared bedroom with Carmilla

Once opening the door, she sees Carmilla laying in their bed, reading a book with the lamp on next to her on the nightstand

She looks so cute when she’s focused, Velvette thinks to herself

She smiles at the sight, and knocks on the opened door, bringing Carmilla’s focus away to look towards the door.

“Welcome home, mi amor,” she says, closing her book

She makes her way to the closet, changing into something more comfortable, and ruffles herself under the covers with her lover

Now at this point, they would usually talk to each other about their days and cuddle themselves to sleep

But…. Sometimes they’d like to treat themselves to some relief after a hard day or work.

———————————————————————

I feel like Velvette would be the one to initiate sometime

She goes to give Carmilla a kiss, which quickly turns to a heated make out session

A few moans slip through the cracks, as Velvette gets herself on top of Carmilla, and presses her knee against her arousal

“Looks like someone’s a bit needy~ You want me to help with that, my love?”

Carmilla looks away and nods her head, her face flushed from the praise, knowing well enough it’s turning her on

Velvette smirks at her response, and proceeds to move herself further down the sheets

She pulls down her panties, and immediately stuffs her face against her wet pussy

Carmilla lets out breathy moans as Velvette eats her out, resisting herself from gripping her hair, not wanting to go rough

”Velvette… I’m g-getting close~”

After hearing her, she licks her clit a bit longer, until she moans out her name.

She makes sure to eat up every last drop of her sweet juices

After coming down from her orgasm, she sinks into the mattress, and cuddles against Velvette lovingly

She kisses Carmilla’s forehead gently, as she plays with her long and soft hair with her fingers until the two fall asleep

This is definitely a good start to this blog ^^ always nice to write some tooth-rotting fluff

[bangrychannie]

Stray Kids Time Travel/Time Loop fic recs

Hello! It's been about a week since my last fic rec post so I wanted to post some more. This one is time travel/time loop themed! There's a surprising amount which is great bc it's one of my favorite tropes. Mostly Minsung with one Hyunlix!

If you know any that are not on this list PLEASE send them to me

When the Morning Comes by bitsori (Minsung | 1/1 | 32,047 | explicit)

“You're new,” Jisung proclaims. Minho snorts. “Am I?” “Well, I've never seen you here before.” “Because you know all of their wedding guests?” Jisung has to laugh. “I know most of Hyunjin’s side,” he says. “Well obviously I’m a friend of Seungmin’s.” Jisung pauses to stare, eyes narrowing with curiosity. “Yeah,” he plays along. “But you’re new.” Minho chuckles. “You keep saying that. What does that mean?” “I mean that you’re new. Here. Today. New. I’ve experienced this wedding over thirty times now and—” his breath hitches because he really just said that out loud, but there’s an immediate flicker in Minho’s eyes that has him exhaling with relief. “Oh. Well.” alternatively: In which Jisung gets stuck repeating the day when his best friend gets married, only to meet a brand new friendly face a month into the grueling experience.

Ugh what a good fic. I'm sure you've all read this before but if not, you're welcome

After the Rain by bitsori (Minsung | 7/7 | 34,238 | Teen and up)

Jisung blinks, slowly taking in his surroundings. This isn't right, he thinks, rubbing his eyes open, forcing his vision into clearer focus. The ceiling is missing the collection of glow-in-the-dark stars he had stuck on there when he first moved in, not to mention the wallpaper color is all wrong. This isn't his room—heck, he realises as he rolls around the mattress, it doesn't even feel like his bed. The realisation sinks in and he shoots up to a sitting position. “What the fuck?” he mumbles, rubbing his eyes more furiously and looking around, almost expecting his surroundings to morph into something more familiar. They don't. In which: Jisung and Minho find themselves randomly switching lives, one day at a time, with no logical rhyme or reason that explains why.

Inspired by Your Name so you can imagine how it goes. Another fantastic story by bitsori (they have so many)

Sugar is Sweet by velooscuro (Hyunlix | 11/11 | 60,049 | explicit)

Minho needs guinea pigs before he can launch his time tourism company. Jisung is whipped enough to volunteer himself and Hyunjin for the job. Felix is very confused as to how two strange men can just appear in his broom cupboard out of the blue. Time Travel!AU wherein Jisung fucks everything up, Minho fixes everything, and Hyunjin and Felix are victims of it all.

This one is more traditional time travel and very cute the whole way through.

don't put off till tomorrow by Erbi (Minsung | 3/3 | 65,665 | Explicit)

“Hannie,” Minho exhales. “What did you see?” And Jisung can’t deny it anymore, not with Minho looking at him so openly, so sincerely waiting for his answer. Communicating to him that he’s not going to judge him, that he’s just going to accept whatever it is Jisung says. With a single fragile breath, everything he’s been keeping only to himself, the truth that’s been terrorising him, floats in the space between them. “I saw you die. Three times.” or: Jisung's night of venting at a bar quickly spirals when he meets a beautiful stranger with orange hair who doesn't pull any punches. Unbeknownst to him, the spiral goes much further than he might have anticipated. And he may not be the only one affected.

I'm pretty sure I recommended this in the last post but it's so good I'm putting it again. Genuinely one of the best pieces of literature that I've ever read

after the moment (with you) by alicexbunnyx (Minsung | 1/1 | 8,674 | Explicit)

“Jisung. I’m going to sound crazy, but time is frozen. I thought it was just me here.” Minho knows his name. He wasn’t sure if that was the case. With all the watching from afar Jisung does, he thinks that surely that’s the only thing his gorgeous neighbor knows about him. “You’re not crazy,” Jisung says matter-of-factly, “I’m going to sound crazier and say it’s my fault.”

This is time travel adjacent but I had to include it on this list because this story is adorable. Chef Minho is one of my fav things everrr! Also I think this is the shortest fic I've recced so far so sorry if you like one shots lol

It's Raining Somewhere Else by FutureLikeJicasso (Minsung | 1/1 | 8,010 | Teen and Up)

Nothing ever happens in Jisung’s town. Ever. So when the wide-eyed stranger Jisung fishes out of the pond in the local park claims to be a time traveller, well, could anyone really blame him for wanting to believe in something? What someone like Minho wants in a town like this - with a person like Jisung - he can’t really be sure, but he’ll take what he can get while it lasts. After all, even if Minho -was- a time traveller, why would he come back? ...unless he could sense that Jisung would maybe, slightly, kind of desperately like to see him again?

Another short and sweet one :)

kaleidoscope mind by vmnsie (Minsung | 1/1 | 30,421 | Teen and Up)

“You said you’ve been stuck for months. How many?” Minho eyed the ceiling, counting with his fingers before replying, “Last time I checked, it was the sixth month. So, I think it’s been… eight months now? I’ve kept track of it until…” He looked at Jisung, who was still waiting for the rest of the sentence without reading between the lines. Minho sighed, “Until I met you.” Or, Minho is stuck in a time loop and finds comfort in knowing Jisung is always willing to help him—even if he ends up forgetting about him every day.

This one is probably the angstiest on this list but I still luv it

one day to fall in love (countless ones to love you) by whatifidbeenthatauthor (Minsung | 1/1 | 22,018 | Mature)

Minho stopped in his tracks. He turned to face Han Jisung. He looked unbothered, still going on about his way. “You didn’t say Hi,” Minho said, forcing the voice to come out of his throat. “You always say hi, hyung.” Jisung turned to look at him, a smile playing on his lips. He looked amused. Minho’s mind wasn’t keeping up. “Today’s different, I guess,” Jisung shrugged. “I went with a variation.” Minho would have found him insufferable, but he didn’t have the mental capacity to process the frustrating sensation that usually accompanied Jisung’s presence. Minho blurted out something that might have him sent to a madhouse. “No. I’ve lived today six times. You- you always say hi, hyung.” He felt crazy. More than usual. Jisung laughed. “What the fuck,” he said, and Minho knew he sounded insane, but could this kid please not be so arrogant? “Me, too. I thought I was the only one,” he continued, and he changed Minho’s life. *** Minho's life is boring, predictable, borderline uneventful. Until he gets stuck in a time loop. And, with him, his friends' friend, Han Jisung, a crazy dude who's only into skating. And whom Minho doesn't necessarily like.

Another time loop one (have I told you I like time loops? lmao) and somehow they're all fantastic

Anyways that's all the time/time travel related fics I have! Like I said if you have one that you like that is not on here PLEASE send it to me I'm begging on my hands and knees.

My plans for the next rec lists are fantasy au, college au, demons, and fake dating trope

[urlocalwhumper]

my girl and @sowhumpshaped's boy interacting bc yippee yahoo yay (yes that anon was me. again. i should really sign my anons lmfao)

also this is like a weird mix of my pet verse and theirs, tried to keep things consistent but i have adhd memory so do not count on it!! 🫡

anyways,

rayan couldn't believe it. not only had he finally, after years of attempts, been approved for his pet owner's license, but he was also heading to the shelter - not as a volunteer this time, but to finally, finally pick out a pet of his very own.

to say he was excited was an understatement, truly, but he also felt a little bad as he approached the building. he'd been so busy recently, he hadn't been in for volunteer work for a solid two weeks. he supposed it was all worth it now, though.

he only felt more and more excited, almost giddy, as he was brought back towards the kennels. no more pining and yearning, when he left this building, it'd be with his very own pet right by his side.

he already recognized most of the faces he passed, but he still bothered to go kennel-by-kennel anyways. this was possibly the most important decision he'd ever make, and he was going to take it very seriously.

there was one he didn't recognize, though. all the way in the back, curled up as small as possible on its bed, shaking like a leaf in a hurricane, was a pet he'd never seen before. he couldn't even really make out any distinctive features, with the way it was hiding its face in its arms. it was blonde, he could at least say that, with floppy little dog ears of a matching color, but he couldn't pick out much else.

"when did this one get in?" he asked, frowning in sympathy. one of the other volunteers - who he admittedly didn't know very well - glanced at the pet in question and sighed.

"last week, i think." they said. "real nasty case. she was confiscated from her last owner after heavy suspicions of abuse, the pet hospital sent her here once she didn't need constant medical attention anymore."

they clicked their tongue derisively. "i don't know how someone could do that to their pet." they sighed again. "either way, she's very skittish. doesn't bite, though. not even if you corner her."

so it's a girl. rayan thought distantly, blinking silently as he processed that load of information.

"that's- that's horrible!" he spluttered, once his brain finally caught up with him. he glanced back at the kennel. the pet inside had raised her head a little bit, and he could make out one shining green eye looking warily at him. "what- what happened?"

the volunteer spun their ring of keys around their finger, before selecting one and unlocking the gate to the kennel. "see for yourself."

electing not to comment on that weirdly ominous answer, he obliged and stepped inside the kennel. almost immediately, the pet inside shrunk back, like she could somehow manage to retreat even further into the far corner of the space.

rayan frowned, his eyebrows knitting together in worry. he didn't want to scare her anymore - the poor thing had probably already been scared enough for several lifetimes. so, with a soft grunt, he got down and sat on the kennel floor, a good six feet away from her.

"hi." he said, giving his best encouraging smile. "i'm rayan. i'm not going to hurt you." he kept his tone as soft and soothing as he possibly could. he eyed the tag on her collar, too far away to actually read it. "could i know your name too?"

she just stared at him for a few moments, sizing him up with her one visible eye, before slowly, cautiously rising to her hands and knees and taking a single step out of her bed.

and the moment she turned to fully face him, he immediately understood what the other volunteer meant by see for yourself.

only one of her eyes had been visible because the other was completely missing. almost the entire left side of her face, only ending less than an inch above her mouth, was made up of the rough scar tissue left by severe burns. where her left eye would have been, there was simply a shallow divot.

it took everything in him not to visibly recoil, because he knew it'd be interpreted the wrong way. the poor thing would probably think he was disgusted by her, when in reality, he was nearly floored by the depths of the cruelty she'd had to endure. even her tail, which was tucked firmly between her legs at the moment, had an odd bend to it, like it had been broken and healed crooked.

as she got closer to him, he could see just how terribly she was trembling, the way her ribs were clearly visible against her flesh. her single eye held so much fear, and her ears were pinned back against her skull, yet she continued to approach anyways.

until finally, she sat down in front of him, hunched and small and afraid. he wanted so badly to just reach out and comfort her, but he knew that escalating that quickly would likely scare her more.

slowly, so she could still keep a close eye on his movements and back away if she felt threatened, he reached for her collar. black leather - heavy duty, but impersonal. "NANA" was engraved on the front of the tag in bold, capital letters. The back was bare.

"nana." he repeated. her gaze immediately snapped from his hand back to his face. "is that your name?"

after a few hesitant seconds, she gave a single nod.

he smiled. "it's nice to meet you, nana." he said. "would it be okay if i pet you?"

she looked almost incredulous that he was asking, but nodded again anyways.

the moment his hand started to card through her hair, it was like her demeanor did a complete 180. she all but melted into the touch, leaning heavily into his hand as he scratched behind her ears. he could even see her tail starting to wag out of the corner of his eye.

poor thing. he thought sadly. is this really all it takes?

"you were just scared, weren't you?" he said. "scared i was gonna hurt you..." he couldn't even entertain the thought. "well, everything's okay. i'm not gonna hurt you, see?"

to his shock, she stepped closer again, and curled up in his lap, looking up at him with and eye full of pleas for more pets. he couldn't help but laugh to himself as he obliged.

"so," the volunteer from earlier said, nearly sending rayan jumping out of his skin - he'd forgotten they were there! "think you've found a keeper?" they gave him a knowing smile.

he looked down at the pet curled up in his lap, feeling the joy of finally achieving his dream once again.

he beamed as brightly as he could. "i- yeah! i think i did!"

[end-otw-racism]

End OTW Racism Link Round-up: Week 2!

Our first (hopefully of many) two-week #EndOTWRacism action is over! Check out our post on next steps and how to stay involved if you haven’t already. 

Just like our first week link round-up, here’s a collection of some of the longer-form discussion/analysis that people shared in week two (we're going with posts on tumblr, dreamwidth, and other sites, as well as twitter threads that are longer than three tweets). These are posts that we think would be helpful to consider as fandom engages in the necessary conversations about these issues.

Note: There has been a plethora of information that’s come out about OTW in the past week, particularly from former and current volunteers, which calls into question the way the organization functions and details the harm they have done to their own volunteers. Much of it does not directly reference our campaign or racism, so we won’t be sharing all of that conversation here, but you can find a round-up of that conversation at the dreamwidth account synonymous.

Tumblr

seepunkrun: I haven’t heard back from the OTW on this yet. In fact, I’m still waiting for a reply to the last letter I sent them on this subject. That’s why I’m glad to see increased transparency included in @end-otw-racism’s list of demands [link]

wondersmith-and-sons: if we're gonna be frank about otw's "anti-racism policies"/hiring of diversity consultants/attempt for social change, i'm gonna say that my good faith in them has run out a while ago and that i genuinely don't think they ever had the intention to follow through on tackling racial abuse, like, ever. [link]

elumish: In response to criticism about EndOTWRacism (part 2): one of the main questions that I see a lot about stuff like this is, how do we write policy to keep there it from backfiring or being used for purges? [link]

princeescaluswords: Activism Isn’t a Raincoat [link]

massharp1971: The right want free speech, but only for themselves [link]

Twitter

tea_deviation: this is even further off topic, but I was doing the math here and it boggles my fucking mind that ao3 is not driving towards being endowment funded? [link]

fiercynonym: i mentioned, as an aside in my thread about how OTW appears to have $2.5 MILLION that they are spending on absolutely nothing, that francesca coppa received a fan studies grant from OTW once, but i want to talk about that specific piece a little more [link]

generalfrings: For all the disingenuous raising of "concerns" at #EndOTWRacism over hypothetical volunteers that would hypothetically handle racists in AO3 (+ the dismissal of the real current harm on poc and black fans), I want to see some response for OTW actually traumatizing real volunteers [link]

_impertinence: #EndOTWRacism the way chinese fans have been sidelined and belittled by the org is so fucking disgusting [link]

hydrochaeris3: ok full disclosure this came about bc i was thinking about why i havent seen people be "pro worker" (or in the otw/ao3's case "pro volunteer") more in response to the endotwracism campaign. bc in most leftist circles ik that ppl would use workers rights arguments to push back on [link]

saathi1013: If it's anything I've learned from contemporary activism it's this: it's never "just" racism. [link]

cyrilapologist: worth considering that end otw racism is also a labor issue [link]

hydrochaeris3: stalking IS bad but i do think it's real funny that so many bnfs are coming out of the woodwork to say smthn about how upsetting it is that this white person got stalked instead of literally anything for #EndOTWRacism for the last two whole weeks [link]

aral_was_here: I'm going to keep the pfp and account name for a bit because I'm feeling pissed about how #EndOTWRacism has been dismissed by so many fans as virtue signaling or as a smokescreen for certain people they see as fandom boogeymen lying in wait to take our porn at a moment's notice. [link]

Dreamwidth

beatrice_otter: Signal boost: "Be more democratic, be more autocratic, OTW", by chestnut_pod (with background & highlights) [link]

wistfuljane: Mythical Dragons & Wild Unicorns: A Decade Later [link]

naye: The Glorious 25th of May - #EndOTWRacism [link]

naye: OTW needs a lot more transforming [link]

Other sites

enk-dash-one at fandom.ink: 1/3 Fellow white people, I encourage you to read this thread first: Then, I'd like to add, speaking exclusively to fellow white people who are worried about this: we are already racist. [link] 

Klaudiasays on TikTok: let's get #EndOTWRacism trending [link]

Stitch for Teen Vogue: As #EndOTWRacism Fights for AO3 Policy Changes, Fandom Racism Bubbles to the Surface [link]

We'd love for folks to keep discussing the issues raised during this action! We organizers are probably going to go quiet for a little while to gather ourselves and work on moving forward, but if you send us posts by submitting to our tumblr, tweeting at us, messaging us on dreamwidth, or emailing us at endotwracism [at] gmail [dot], we will consider linking or posting them. We do reserve the right to only share posts that are in line with the intent of the campaign and that we believe are adding to the conversation.

[claraxbarton]

You might have answered this before, BUT I’m a recent follower and curious ok!! Generally speaking, what is your writing process like? I’m genuinely so impressed by how many different fics you’ll have going simultaneously and they’re all updated SO frequently. AND THEY’RE ALL SO GOOD?? Like do you have vague plans/outlines or drafts that you expand on/edit? Your accountability post will mention writing a few thousand words and then there’s an update the same day and it’s written so well lmao it blows my MIND bc it seems like you just come up with the plot on the fly and then casually write a lil masterpiece after work like it’s nbd. All of this to say I appreciate your work so much ♥️

<3

So uh, to start off with, I'm guessing when you say you recently started following me, you're probably just reading my HRPF fics? I SAY that/ask that because I've bounced through a few fandoms and I kind of go back and forth between being VERY prolific and finishing up projects and kind of... losing steam.

To be fair to me and not to scare anyone off, before this year I have, for the last decade and change, been juggling two full time jobs, part time work, childcare and a lot of volunteer work PLUS trying to write so like, I'm cutting myself some slack on abandoned projects. Because I'm finally down to 1 full time job and 1 part time gig that is only during the summer. I will ALSO say, in December I switched meds for my anxiety/depression so I'm on a new dose, new meds for the first time in 5 years and I do think that's been really impactful in a positive way.

SO, exposition and TMI out of the way:

I wish I could say I had a really clear process that I follow every time, but I don't want to lie. I create docs with notes - I'm thinking about including those as an epilogue chapter on the fics I'm currently working on, if anyone is interested in my scribbles aside from myself and my beta - and SOMETIMES I create outlines. A lot of the time, I will write a chapter or two and THEN create the outline? That's what happened with Gold Rush, but also with Gold Rush, I have already deviated from the outline like... a lot.

I'm trying to be way more chill with myself than I used to be. I was in this deep grind of forcing myself to be productive because that's where my value was (@kangofu-cb is a real one and has been trying to beat this out of me for years. Beating with love). And I'll be honest, being kinder to myself and putting less pressure is, like, so far, so good.

I usually have about, like... a dozen or so fic ideas in my head at any one time (@dwisp can attest to the DAILY messages of 'hear me out' as can @kangofu-cb), but I uh, I really feel 4 long fic is my simultaneous max.

I also have a problem with like, so if you DO want to read some of my not HRPF stuff, I think a good primer is the WinterhawkHood month I did in October with a fic a day, and the consistent issue is: I feel like I'm really good at creating a premise and that premise wants to exist beyond 2-5k. So longfic is probably the format to best tell the stories I want to tell, but, like, writing shorter fic is a lot of fun? That also does NOT answer your question.

Oh! MUSIC! It's so so so so important to my process. I used to put on specific artists, like really get into a singular vibe for a fic. But these days it's just my routine sleepy sad girl playlists (name coined by a former assistant and like she wasn't wrong). Which also probably explains how much sad sack Leon there is in my current fics. I should probably like, get some new playlists going...

Uh, in terms of like, my style/my ideas... so my professional life is theatre adjacent, and I think because of that, dialogue and THE INCITING INCIDENT are really important to me. So usually any fic idea forms around the kernal of the meet ugly and some choice words.

Like, for Gold Rush, I absolutely started from the idea of Leon being a bitch to the press and getting a text from an unknown number/Matthew and it just grew from there.

For Playing Favorites, I absolutely wanted to have former camboy Vince realize his new... work colleague??? Adam Larsson knew he was a former camboy. Which is funny because that moment happens in the middle of the fic (which I AM going to update again soon, y'all might vote consistently for Gold Rush in the polls but this weekend I think it's gotta be some love for my two Lars&Dunn fics).

For Northern Attitude, that inciting incident is, uh, about to occur in ch4 that I'm currently working on. And it's. Well. Yeah. So I got the idea for that 'scene' if you will first and then figured it out backwards?

For Wildfire that, too, has an inciting incident that has yet to make it into a chapter. But she's coming soon.

So really, only Gold Rush started as the beginning as far as ideas went for me? That said, I still START at the beginning when I write. I used to scribble down scenes and then piece them in, but I honestly found it constrained me more than anything else and I'm aware that doesn't make much sense.

I feel like this entire answer is a total nonanswer of me just blathering away. I hope at least part of this is what you wanted and uh... sincerely? Thank you for asking. It means a lot and like, my process is weird and inconsistent but I do genuinely love to talk about my writing.

[bright-and-burning]

for your fic title ask game! gimme something texas hold em related. add some more fuel to this here fire.

(send me a made-up fic title and i'll tell you what i would write to go with it)

ok this has been rotating in my mind w logan/alex for the last day and i kind of went insane bc why is this a thousand words of blather...

i went to a research university in like the north eastern part of the us right but there was this bar named after a city in the south that . ok i just googled it to double check and the home page calls it a "rockin country redneck tavern" lol. there were line dancing lessons in the evening that old people LOVED before the night hit and it became like fully a bar scene, lots of country music, a massive dance floor. so like . picture rustic raw wood walls, a big ass dance floor, a second floor overlooking half the dance floor, and a whoooole lot of college students.

in my mind this is like, college au. logan is a junior, alex is a senior or smthn. alex gets dragged to a frat party by idk lando who then immediately abandons him to play pong w martin... alex is feeling big lost just standing around, downing a solo cup of punch way too fast to feel busy. logan's like 'i got next!!' except his pong partner was oscar who disappeared so he's like fuckkkk and then lando volunteers alex for it, and logan's like sure you can keep up kind of vibes and alex drains the last of his drink and grins before grabbing another. so it's lando and martin vs logan and alex.

and alex is TRASH but it's ok bc martin and lando are mid and logan is good so it like all balances out. so they go back and forth the whole time, and logan and alex are teasing each other sooo bad oh my god. just like annoying to everyone else in the room levels of flirty mocking. (we played with water in the cups bc otherwise the balls get DISGUSTING, so you just move the cup to the side of the table when it's made. but if you get a ball in one of the side cups you have to dance? idk if this is a common rule but we called it dance cup lol. also an important rule: if you dont make a single cup you have to do a naked lap). alex is Struggling he is not making anything. he manages to get it into dance cup like three times tho. somehow it gets down to like lando and martin only need to make one more cup and logan and alex have two to go. alex Has to make it on this round or he's in grave danger of naked lap... idk some like logan giving tips etc. logan goes first on their turn and sinks it perfectly which leaves them 1-1... alex closes his eyes n takes a deep breath... shoots... nails it. he and logan lose their shit lol but martin and lando have a shot at redemption.. and they BOTH MISS! logan and alex W. some other duo is like we got winner but alex is like ok i'm done for the night lol i don't need any more chances at a naked lap. and logan also steps from the table so like lando and martin keep playing.

from there there's two directions i think it could go:

they go to a "rockin country redneck tavern" that night after logan is like oh i've got actual liquor up in my room if you want...

OR this is actually better i guess given how many more ideas i have abt this lol

alex actually leaves not long after the pong game for some reason (that i haven't decided on yet). but then the next weekend he gets dragged out to said country tavern by lando n george who are like dude we have to experience all of the bars here before we graduate and scatter to the winds!!!! (well. lando says that. george spent the last weekend + week frantically studying for an exam so he's like can we PLEASE go out and get shitfaced. PLEASE) anyways. alex doesnt really ask what this place is and they dont tell him so they get there and alex is like what the fuck is this. what.

they get drinks and sit down at a table for a bit, logan gets in w some friends and walks past and is like yoooo and chats w alex for a minute, except george and lando disappear to "get drinks" (with lots of eyebrow wiggles from behind logan). they r flirting obviously. lots of alex being like of Course you're here, all american boy vs logan being like and what country are we in right now, hot stuff? and then a line dance-y song comes on and the announcer is like 'last line dance of the night folks' (bc this bar switches over at abt 10pm to like. pop and rap etc.) and logan is like !!! and alex audibly groans but lets himself get dragged out bc logan is like you gotta have the full [i have not come up w a bar name that wont doxx me but pretend there's one here] experience. they do a silly line dance w alex just clumsily copying logan at first but by the end enjoying it laughing his ass off trying to mess logan up etc.

and then idk maybe the next song switches over as theyre like collapsing into each other dying laughing all breathless... and it's a very grind-y song (to stick w the beyonce theme... a la partition even tho that's not super 'realistic' im just struggling off the top of my head to come up w something better. fill in the blanks w ur imagination if u r smarter than me i guess) and they have this moment of like 'so are we doing this orrrr' and the dance floor gets hella crowded so theyre up on each other anyways so. they are in fact doing this. and then they dance for a While it's hot they get real sweaty lean in to each other's ears from time to time to point out funny things happening around them etc etc.

after a long while of that alex is like i need another drink. and logan is like yeah same so they go to the bar together. and alex buys their drinks. and then they just stand leaning on a wall for a bit, chatting and taking a breather. and logan is like 'cards on the table' and then tells alex he likes him. or is interested in him or whateverrrr and alex is like oh thank god. and then they go home and fuck nasty. basically!

[abrahamvanhelsings]

thank youu for tagging me @zaegreus 💙🐳

WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?

not really, i believe my mother happened to know someone, a colleague or something, and she liked the name so on the baby name list it went. as far as my new chosen name which ive been trying out here and there, it's just the male version of my legal documents name, but since that's dorian it always makes people go 'ooo like from oscar wilde's dorian gray?' OR they go 'oh like in dragon age' and both of these things. queer. lmao.

WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?

hmm i don't quite remember, i think i cried about palestine a couple of weeks ago bc i was very stressed abt work and my emotions were very close to the surface so to say, and this genocide happening right in front of our eyes while the world acts like it isn't makes me feel incredibly powerless and lose my faith in humanity. to see suffering and ignore it - to refuse to see these people as people, with lives and dreams and feelings that are each worth the universe, at all. just inconceivable to me.

DO YOU HAVE KIDS?

no. and despite what my mother likes to think i do not want them and i never will.

WHAT SPORTS HAVE YOU PLAYED/DO YOU PLAY?

i played football for a couple of years as a teenager. i also did horse riding for a year or two as a child, but then the timing of the lessons got awkward in regards to dinner so i had to stop. i still kind of miss it every once in a while though, because i really love horses and riding is very nice. uhh i also did archery for two years or something. and when i stopped playing football when i was 15 i went on to rowing and i haven't stopped doing that since! honestly a pretty important part of my life, there's a lot of time that goes into practice alone and i also have to volunteer at the club (common courtesy as a member), but i really love it. don't think ill ever stop doing it if i can help it.

DO YOU USE SARCASM?

uh yeah all the time lmaoo which sometimes people do not catch on to and then it seems like i've just said something incredibly rude or patently insane but we roll with life's punches. which in this case is failing a 'have a normal conversation' check.

FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?

hands! im very peculiar about hands and i will commit a felony for a beautiful pair of them. this goes for eyes too but looking straight into people's eyes is, like, more intimate than sex so i tend not to do that very much even if i think someone's eyes are beautiful immediately. and also, people's shoes, bc i honestly believe that if there's any piece of clothing that can tell you a lot about a person it's shoes lmao

WHAT IS YOUR EYE COLOR?

hazel, they kinda go from brown to green depending on the shirt im wearing and the way the light falls into them

SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?

kind of depends on your definition of scary? i don't like horror at all but i can enjoy a good thriller. generally i think i prefer happy endings though. still, a good tragedy every once in a while... in fact one of my favourite movies of all time (in the mood for love) has a very bittersweet ending. and also i am terror crew of course

ANY TALENTS?

i used to be decent at drawing but i haven't really done that for years bc academia sucks the life out of you. same goes for writing - i so wish to take up writing fanfic and original works again and i have so many ideas, but then whenever i have the time i do not feel the energy. oh but im very good at public speaking! has always come naturally to me which is quite a stroke of luck

WHERE WERE YOU BORN?

provincial town somewhere in the north of the netherlands

WHAT ARE YOUR HOBBIES?

rowing, playing the piano, and the usual stuff i.e. reading, watching things (including sports) and playing video games. idk if id classify climate activism as a hobby? im not doing it for fun but bc it's necessary, but we do try to have a good time of it bc it's not sustainable mentally/physically if you don't. i also play board games with some of the climate activism people in my city every once in a while

DO YOU HAVE ANY PETS?

no! my parents used to have cats but when they died they didn't take new ones and im away from my own apartment more often than im there bc of work and sports and activism and friends blah blah blah so it isn't really a good idea for me to take a cat or something if we can't even be proper companions

HOW TALL ARE YOU?

ehh 169 cm or so

FAVORITE SUBJECT IN SCHOOL?

even though i studied history i think latin and ancient greek were my favourite subjects in high school bc that's where i actually learned things. the history teacher just let me do whatever bc it was all too easy for me anyway, but latin/greek were actually challenging even though i was good at them. in fact my highest mark on the big national high school exams was for greek! also i told you about my amazing latin teacher :')

DREAM JOB?

man i don't even know anymore. for the longest time i thought i wanted to work in academia but now im doing a phd and im seeing all the uni politics up close im like... man... all of you people and your made up rules and your cronyism and toxic power dynamics and your hierarchies suck ass for real. but then idk what else id do bc even though i like museums that whole world is impossible to get into without literal nepotism so yeah. marry rich and set up something cool to popularise opera among younger generations? lmfao

tagging @garlandgerard @boogiewoogieweeb @croziers-compass @burrowingregg @tadpal @tideswept if you feel like it 💚🐢

[deoxygenated]

had a dream where whoever i was first at the shore, playing in the waves. we were with some kind of group and had to kill a few people to protect the area even if they weren't criminals themselves.

it was ordered we had to kill this 13yr old child and decided the best method to do that and hide ths body would be to drown them in the far ocean. the boss' lackey is to do it at first.

however he can only teleport 50 something so I volunteer bc i can teleport about 200 something. he takes us and the unconscious child into the ocean at first and once we're teleported out it's my turn. i grab them and use my ability.

it feels like we're in the middle of nowhere because it's so vast. the lackey looks at me and then i hold the kid underwater. the child wakes up enough to struggle, theyre drowning, and i suddenly teleport me and the lackey back to the shallows.

the boss is there, the lackey looks disgusted at the sudden teleport and reports in. he seems satisfied and thanks me with a cruel smile.

in the next few days im constantly patrolling the shore. im playing around but also looking for any signs of the kid as they could wash up back here. they were drowning but i didn't finish it so theres a small chance they're alive. whoever i am feels no real guilt other than not completing a job and because of that decides if the kid appears they are to help them.

---------

the next part of the dream segues into a vast fantasy land. it borrows some names from ffxiv but otherwise is nothing alike.

i remember whoever i was here racing with several people to get to the great tree of the forest via gridania by using aqueducts designed also as throughways. they took various exits to get there but i was sure only me and one girl who rode the water to the second to last exit were right.

this dream skips around time wise so while i'm the same person i'm now sitting at a table with a friend. he's new to the city and i'm helping him send a letter out. we recruit a post office lady who helps us write the letter.

i get mad at her bc i passive aggressively indicate i can write but she's sure a country bumpkin from nowhere like me can't do it well of at all. so she refuses to leave us the supplies and instead is doing it for us.

my friend dictates a letter and then asks her to get the address from me since i know it well.

'gridania right?' she asks.

'well yes but you have to put the great tree first, thats important, and more of a landmark.' i tell her.

'ok so the great tree of the forest, gridania--'

'portside, dock 12, #16.'

she looks peeved at me. and tells us we don't have proper addresses. i tell her this will do to locate it asking around, as my country doesn't yet have a proper postal service.

--------

the final dream might be the future of that port. a large ship with vast porthole is among the docks. its where people of the land work in harmony with the dolphin people of the waves.

however someone has taken over and made a of number of improvements. deployable engines through the ports, piercingly bright lights made from these blue petals, and so on.

i try to stop the lamp production but i can't so i go to the leader of the group doing this. its the friend who needed a letter from the last dream. he's dressed fancy in a suit, arms behind his back, weak as ever on his own but strong where people listen to him. whoever i am here doesn't know him as anything but the person single handedly causing bad relations with the dolphin people.

i walk in and get his attention, telling him how his improvements are hurting and isolating our long time allies. he doesn't at all care since it's for advancement and has me kicked out.

theres a timeskip that shows me coming back to a much worse situation. the docks used to be more plant than anything are now cleared down to the gravel and mud. you can see oil spilled and large shipping containers start to be stacked on the shore.

i don't even see the dolphin people any longer. in my fury i topple two of the containers and march toward the ship in charge of it all still. someone follows me protesting the damage but not doing much else to stop me.

arriving at the ship, i take out the rear guards with ease and begin my incursion. all i remember here is a rack of cheap really cheap plushies and passing that on my way in.

i do attack the ship but the feeling here were more like a being only focused as a predator. one goal in mind but taking out everything in my way. a tunnel vision, grey warping, the senses of a beast on the hunt, and no thoughts of the man inside.

its like that until i reach the captains quarters where he stands, waiting for me. the grip of the beast shirks away as i talk about the loss of the dolphin people, the destruction of my home's habitat, and his pollution of the environment.

he turns, lecturing me for destruction and needless death, if everyone was listening to him, who am i as one person to come in and kill everyone to change it?

im almost taken aback by this, knowing there is blood on my hands. but not as much as his. how many people died pursuing his innovation? at least the cost of a whole people.

so i kill him now in cold blood. i throw his corpse to the shipping containers.

the person following me question what i'll do and not even i know. i guess ill haunt this place. stop people from coming here until it can regrow. hold out hope for the dolphin people.

and i wake up just as they are deciding their sad, solemn duty of mourning and revenge.

[theweightofakiteofdreamsingold]

Pacing – J. Kiszka

Warnings: Literally none. Just the sweetest, fluffiest Josh.

Summary: As a seasoned nurse working in your hospital’s Neonatal Intensive Care Unit, you’re a bit reluctant to going through the process of training new volunteers, but one volunteer comes along and reminds you of why you do what you do.

A/N: Soooooo remember that time that Josh said he loves babies? I felt like it would be cool to write a little fic about Josh learning how to take care of babies bc we know he would be the absolute best at it. 😭🫶

Bajabule,

-Han

"Y/N, you'll be in Pod 6 today with Nancy. You guys have 7 babies in there, so the two of you can decide who will have 3, and who will have 4. Also, reach out if you need help with anything because the procedure nurse and I are both out of assignment."

You nodded, taking a long, slow sip of your coffee. You made a mental note to get a refill from the break room before you headed to your pod. Before you walked away, the charge nurse pulled you to the side while the rest of your coworkers filed out of the hallway to get report from the night nurses.

"I also wanted to let you know that we have a new bunch of volunteers coming in for their first day today, so just make sure whoever takes the 3-list helps them out. They'll probably need some help learning how to feed and change the babies, especially with all the cords from the monitors. Just wanted to give you a heads-up."

"Gotcha. Will do," you said, still half asleep, as you walked to get more coffee. You didn't mind training people or helping the new volunteers, but sometimes if the babies were difficult, it made the whole situation difficult. You decided to keep an open mind, figuring that whatever was going to happen was going to happen whether there were new volunteers or not.

You made your way to your assigned pod and looked at the acuity sheet for the babies. All of them were the same; no one was on oxygen and they all had the ability to bottle feed, but also had a feeding tube to use as well if needed. Nancy was standing at the entrance to the pod.

"I had the 4-list yesterday, so I can take them back today since I know them already. If that's okay with you."

You nodded, "Sure, that's fine. Makes my life easy. Thanks."

"No problem. They're not a bad group, so I don't mind."

The two of you continued into the pod and got report from the night shift nurses, all the while taking notes about your babies. After report, you walked to the sink to wash in before you mixed milk for your first baby of the day.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Around noon, you saw a small group of people walking through the NICU with the charge nurse; the new volunteers were getting a tour, you assumed. You were standing by the entrance of your pod, getting things ready to start over with your first baby of the round, sitting out diapers, wipes, and burp cloths. Because of where you were, you could hear what the charge nurse was saying to the volunteers: "So this last pod here is Pod 6, and this pod primarily houses our babies that are the closest to going home. They move into this pod to simply feed and grow, and, whenever they feed well and grow enough, they get to go home with their families. With that being said, let me see who we've assigned to this pod today, and we'll go meet the nurses."

She looked at the clipboard she was holding, scanning to find the name beside your pod. When she found it, she looked at her group, searching for the face that matched the name she had placed her finger on.

"Josh? I have you down to be in Pod 6 today. Is that okay?"

You looked over and saw a boy, in his twenties, you guessed. He had grown-out, curly hair that looked like it would be incredibly soft to touch. It was light brown in color, complementing his dark eyes. His face was very structured, his cheekbones high and his jawline sharp. His smile was wide and sweet, and he was looking at you. It was then that you realized you’d been staring at him and missed part of the conversation. You looked to your charge nurse who was standing beside him, sharing his grin.

“Y/N I was saying that Josh is assigned to volunteer in here and help you guys out today. Did you take the 3-list or did Nancy?”

“I did,” you said, trying to hide your embarrassment.

“Great. So Josh, Y/N will be around to help you do the cares and feed the babies. Any questions you have, don’t be afraid to ask. No such thing as a silly question. She’s a great nurse, so she’s a good one to have around for help. Let me know if you guys need anything!”

“We will. Thanks,” you said, before she turned away to lead the rest of the group to their assigned pods.

You took Josh around and showed him all the babies in the pod, showing him where their name cards were, which were written in either pink or blue ink, depending on the sex of the baby. You watched him as he studied the babies in their cribs, his eyes soft. You noticed that they were a deep brown color as they shone under the examination lights over each bed space.

“Do you have any kids?” you asked, attempting to gauge how much experience he had with children.

“I don’t,” he started, “I really love babies though, and I thought this would be a cool way to learn to take care of them. Especially these babies in here. Feel like they can use a little extra love, ya know?”

You smiled at him and nodded. The warmth in your chest took you by surprise. Working with sick babies could take a lot out of a person, and you often felt strung out and slightly jaded. Not a lot seemed to affect you anymore, and you were glad when people like this came around and served as gentle reminders about why you chose to do this for a living.

“That’s where you come in.” You laughed softly. “Do you want me to show you what to do first or do you want me to help you do it?”

He thought for a moment. “Can I do it while you tell me what to do? I feel like I’m a good hands-on learner.”

“For sure. So go ahead and open up the blanket, and we’ll get this little gal cleaned up and changed.”

He put on a pair of gloves and took his time, gently opening the baby’s blanket. As a result of the new, cold air, you watched her face twist as she began to cry. Josh’s wide eyes immediately looked for you, asking for help. You found them and grinned.

“It’s okay. She’s just chilly because you took her blanket off. We’ll keep going and get her wrapped back up. She’ll feel like a brand new girlie.”

He nodded, hesitating before he reached for the diaper and wipes as the baby continued to cry. “You can try talking to her. Sounds weird, but hearing people’s voices can soothe them sometimes.”

He nodded, continuing to change the baby under your direction. “Now then,” he said softly, “You feel better, mama? Hm?” He snapped the bottom of her onesie closed and she watched him quietly, very alert. You walked him through the swaddling process, resulting in a very loose wrap. You assured him that the more babies he swaddled, the faster he would become a professional.

He smiled and looked to you, waiting for his next task.

“Here. Slip this gown on and you can sit in that chair and hold her while I get her milk from the warmer.”

He did as you said, slipping his arms through sleeves of the hospital gown and taking a seat in the rocking chair by the baby’s crib.

When you came back with the bottle of milk, you grabbed a burp cloth and pulled up a chair beside him. You showed him how to hold the baby and put the burp cloth under her chin.

“So, most of the babies in this pod are still learning how to eat. Some of them drink way too fast and don’t stop to breathe, and some of them take longer to eat because they aren’t the best at sucking. This baby tends to drink a little too fast and get ahead of herself, so we have a feeding plan to help her. That sounds kinda scary, but it’s really easy. Go ahead and put the bottle in her mouth, but tilt it down like this. See how there’s no milk in the end of the nipple there?”

He nodded.

“So we wait until she starts sucking, and tilt it up like this. See, now you can see the milk in the end there.”

“Right,” he said, nodding again.

“So now, we’re going to count the sucks. After 4 or 5 sucks, tilt the bottle down again, like this. We do that to give her a chance to swallow the milk that she has in her mouth and take a second to breathe. Just teaching her that pattern to suck, swallow, and breathe. We call it ‘pacing.’ Does that make sense?”

He nodded, his eyes wide. You could tell that he was nervous.

“It’s okay. You’ve got it. I’ll be right here to help.”

He watched the baby intently, waiting for her to start the pattern. When she sucked, he slowly lifted the bottle, letting the milk fill the nipple. You silently counted the sucks as he did, and after the 5th one, he softly tilted the bottle back down, just as you’d told him. You watched his featured soften and a smile creep across his face when she’d completed the cycle and began to suck again. His eyes lit up and he looked at you, an excited smile on his lips.

“See? I told you that you had it. You’re a natural with these guys. I’ll be right over here charting if you need anything. Let me know.”

“I will. Thank you so much,” he said, still smiling.

As you charted, you stole glances at him, watching him smile and talk to the baby. “Look at us, huh? I think we make a pretty good team,” he cooed.

Once he’d finished feeding her, you went back to him, re-doing her swaddle and watching her drift to sleep. You asked if he wanted to hold her while she slept and you watched his eyes light up again as he agreed. You handed him the baby again after he took his place back in the rocking chair, and you continued on to do the cares and feed your next baby.

Whenever it was time for the volunteers to go home, Josh stood up and gently placed the baby he had been snuggling back into her crib. He kept his hand on her swaddle as he told her goodbye and wished her sweet dreams as she slept. You walked over to him.

“Heading out?” you asked?

“Unfortunately,” he replied, “but I’ll be back tomorrow. Hopefully I can come back in here. Are you gonna be here?”

“I am. And they should put me back in here again, too.”

“That’s perfect. Thank you so much for helping me today. And thank you for loving these babies. You guys are awesome. I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said, his bright smile shining as he gathered his things.

“I’ll see you then!” you said, watching him turn and walk out the doors of the NICU to go home.

[okayto]

hi I graduate from undergrad in July & my hometown is opening a new public library this summer. Do you have any tips for applying? I plan to start my MLIS degree online in about a year, and will start applying to programs in spring/summer/fall. I want to work as a library director one day I think PS thank you for your blog that I just stumbled on bc you have SO much relevant information

Sorry, I somehow missed this when you sent it last month!

My advice is mostly gleaned from exposure in both library groups/discussions and job/professional resources/reading/experience, rather than personal public library practice--I work in an academic library and I don't think there was a ton of competition (who managed to make a good impression) since night hours are not often attractive to people. (But who knows: I know my resume and cover letter were enough to get me invited for an interview, which then got me hired, and now they love me.)

If you have any library experience at all--volunteer work, working in your school library, etc.--make sure that's on your resume. (Since you're graduating undergrad, it should be fine to have things on it that go back to high school, if you did library work in high school.)

The big things I see discussed when library people talk about hiring, from the employer's side, are:

Does the applicant show they meet any requirements (i.e., if the job says "you must have a bachelor's degree or two years of work experience," make sure that between your resume and cover letter, if one is included, that they can see you meet that requirement)

Does the applicant show an understanding that working in a library is not sitting and reading all day? (Basically, don't say "I want to work at Library X because I love reading and quiet, calm environments," because public library work is unlikely to involve any of that very often)

Can you follow directions and provide accurate info? (If the job listing says to send a resume and cover letter to Person X, send a resume and cover letter to Person X, and make sure that you haven't misspelled their name or the library name, etc.)

If you're thinking "well, that's all pretty basic," yes, yes it is. AND YET.

I would check out Ask A Manager for tips on resumes and cover letters, she is so helpful and has a wealth of information in general.

If you have any connection to the library system, leverage it--it's fine to mention what the library means/meant to you; if the new library is going to be part of an existing system, use your knowledge of existing branches to get a feel for what the work environment might be like, or to give you ideas of questions to ask. If you know anyone who works or has worked there (or if you have a second-degree connection, like a parent or friend knows someone who works there), see if it's possible to ask them questions or do an informational interview about what it's like to work there.

(You can look it up, but at a minimum that means probably buying them coffee/similar beverage, asking questions and crucially not treating them as a way to sneakily get in--take their goodwill and get more knowledge, don't then try to get them to boost your app, but do remember they may tell people that you met/talked with them. I've had friends and acquaintances reach out to me when my library hires to ask things about work details, pay rate if I know it [because my stupid university won't list a pay scale for some reason], etc. Recently, someone took a coworker who is leaving out to coffee to ask him about the details of his job, since it's open and this person was applying. All of that is fine, because no one has then tried to use us to manipulate the people making hiring decisions.)

A lot will depend on your area, of course. If there is a library school nearby, the competition may be higher from what I've heard. Do apply!

[foster-the-world]

Good Week

Had a nice week. Settling into this off work thing. Plenty of alone time and plenty of time with the kids. I took care of teacher appreciation week solely by myself for the PTA. On Sunday the kids sidewalked chalked all along the school. It was an easy way to get kids involved. I managed to get donations for 80% of the food/drinks for a dessert buffet for 70 people. Including four large fresh cut fruit trays - two were leftover so they got it for lunch. Plus, many people got take home containers. Then we closed out the weekend with a breakfast - local NYC bagels, Krispy Kreme and Starbucks coffee all donated. We are a low budget PTA - so nice to keep the costs low. I'm sure it didn't blow the teachers away but hopefully it was a nice treat. Teachers deserve so much more. I think I'll volunteer to make Teacher Appreciation week my thing. I don't mind volunteering at the school but don't like asking other people for things or asking for individual donations. This event I can pull of by myself.

Went with another parent to the new Natural History Museum yesterday. Its really impressive. The old building was cool with the dinosaur bones but definitely dated. The new part is great.

Today the girls are doing a free class at a new robotics/lego place within walking distance to our apartment. If they like it I'll sign them up.

Last night my husbands parents stopped by for dinner. Then they watched the kids from 7-8pm while we went to a bar/music place two blocks away. Parents from daycare were performing. They were also very good. Plus, being home by 8pm was amazing. My inlaws (who are 75) were going to a Zydeco dance at 8:30. Pretty impressive. Of course, they don't have to wake up for kids in the morning.

Hung up on someone at the foster agency yesterday. Not the best look but the birth certificate stuff is so maddening. And the OT stuff. and the not having an adoption date stuff. And everything we ever ask of them - which is not much. In this case, someone asked me what his legal name is but my poor kid does not have one. The name they have on records is different then the name on the birth certificate request. And how can the agency ask this question? Three years into care they should know his name. They ignore all my questions about his bc application. So stressful when we need a passport in six weeks. Luckily, NYC has a ton of emergency passport application places. So we can get it within two weeks.

[birbfeeder2artisticboogaloo]

Birb!!!! Once again, I'm so sorry BUT YOUR LASTS GoT POSTS GAVE ME A BLAST!!!!

don't be sorry!! it's ok!!! i am so glad i can make u laugh!! MY SILLY JOKES HAVE FINALLY FOUND A PURPOSE ;A; sooo who do we have here....??? >:3c

1 - OH!! the lil girl!! mcdaughterburner's daughter!! u'll NEVER guess what happens to HER ;A; i referred to her as 'NOOO BABY NO!! ;A;' bc that's what i was saying in every scene she was in ;A; I KNEW THEY WOULD TAKE HER FROM ME ;A; didn't expect the fire tho, that was hard to listen to ;A;

2- ZOMBIE JOE'S BROTHER!!! aka uncle failson!!! he lost a fight with a fire poker or something, it was very sad 😔 i can't actually remember what happened to him tho?? i just,,,,lost track of him at some point?? so im going to assume he ended up at ned stark's castle where the remaining cast re-enacted the film 'dead snow' (2009 norwegian film about nazi zombies). if he WAS there he should have volunteered his services as a ladder for lydia mormon, the child warrior who somehow managed to be better and braver than any adult (except for BFF of course!! who could surpass SHE?? ;A;)

3- IT'S NOT-SAMWISE!!! he is almost a samwise gamgee!! but not quite!!! it's ok tho, nobody could ever REALLY compare to THE samwise gamgee. this lesser samwise is good enough!!! i liked how willing samwise was to adopt a random baby whose mother he met exactly ONCE, that was quite sweet of him. hope everything works out for him and jill or whatever and junior. good lot them 😌 (note: during the earlier seasons, i wanted him and redux jesus (then simply called ned stark's bastard) to MAYBE run away from snow gaol and kiss each other. but in the end samwise met jill and they seem very happy together!! pity about egret. maybe redux jesus should kiss that viking man instead. tormod ruadh or whatever. idk that's a viking name, right?? :P)

4- OH THIS GUY. ok i know. I KNOW WHO HE IS. i saw him in a film JUST THE OTHER DAY. it was a john wick film!! my mam LOVES the john wick films, she's in love with keanu reeves. uhhhh. his name is. it's. ok i don't actually KNOW his name but. BUT IN GOT, he played the role of MCDICK-IN-A-BOX!!! i called him mcdick-in-a-box bc, well, uh, u know 😳 am very glad captain ginger was able to rescue him from that snivelling lil shit, wannabe dexter. that clown was. extremely unpleasant. more unpleasant than any other character. not a fan of wannabe dexter. he took himself too seriously!! we get it, ur a serial murderer, cool story bro!! just MURDER then. don't be such a bitch about it. ur mad bc no one will kiss u (willingly), every day is a bad hair day, ur doggos won't talk to u if u don't feed them human flesh,,,, WE GET IT. he's what my father would call a 'langer' 🙄

poor mcdick-in-a-box. even when he's the photo u sent, i spend more time talking about somebody else. sadly typical for poor mcdick-in-a-box, smh 😔

hee hee, thank u for indulging my silliness 😄 i always appreciate the chance to make my dumb jokes 😊 hope i gave u a laugh or two! hope ur day or night goes well 💚💚💚

[flames-memory]

Saturday

Massimo Antonio Fiorentino

It's sounds so fancy heh.

That goes in here first. Massimo.. omg.. My Max. He says Max fits him better.. I agree.

I didn't let anyone see.. but I got an outfit kinda.. a tribute to BC. I took a pic and sent it to her.. show her I was missing her, and thinking about her. It's a bit of me, a bit of her. I'll post a gallery of pics, I think. I keep taking them.

So.. Max was late, work ran late, but it was worth it. I waited for him in the pool at Oasis, and Flannery showed up. I thought I avoided her, but she found me in the pool, waiting. She asked if she should come back after saying her hellos, but I told her Max should be there by then... Bitch had the audacity to say "Who's Max?" Like.. the man what been standing next to me, making sure you know I am not looking for your companionship every single other time you met me.

Do NOT minimize or ignore my boyfriend, bitch. Max is sexier than you are in your dreams.

We chilled in the pool for a while, talked about the things you talk about, learning about each other a bit more. Just what I wanted this weekend.

Later, He introduced me to a friend, Helga - she's fun! Great big german chick, I trailed after on a job, putting my pain management abilities to good use making her tougher, and keeping her alive. I might got muy butt kicked a few times, but I learned a lot.

Max and I went back to the beach house after. We spent some time rebuilding what had fallen down since last time - not so much from exertion on our part as from a general lack of proper building code.

By the time we had it back in proper form, we were both flirting pretty outrageously.. it got very silly, but somehow, that made it even better. Laughing with him while I kissed him.. and other stuff.. wow. It was a very good night.. and the fort is pretty much destroyed.

We spilled m&ms and reece's in the fort. I'll have to make sure I clean them all up.. Max only got a few, kissing them off my back where they got stuck!

Max is a bit like a romantic movie come to life. Things I've done, I thought they'd jaded me, and then BC showed me, I have no idea. Max.. Max showed me I really, really have no idea. There was.. fun, and passion, and it was so intense. Just him and me, the same apparent need to see the other person lost in the moment. There are words, but they don't fit. Not special enough.

Who knew it could be like this, and why wasn't I told until now? Two weeks, with BC and Max, and it's lifetimes compared to all the years before.

While I was sleeping still, Max woke up first. He said I had a pretty good octopus hold going, but he was able to slip out and replace himself with the pillow he'd been sleeping on. He told me I hugged the pillow.. all I remember is kissing him before I fell asleep again. Apparently, I started to kiss the pillow.. it's ridiculous. And adorable. He wasn't letting the pillow have his kiss :P

When I did wake all the way up a little bit later, I was hugging the pillow that still smelled like him, and I could hear whistling.. That man was in the kitchen cooking pancakes. He.. made me food. like, from scratch. I sat at the little counter thing, and he cooked, and we talked, and he was so adorably cute. He kept saying stupid stuff like, "The orange juice tastes so much better today," and omg..

How is he so perfect?

I learned his real name, and about his family. He didn't become a mobster like them. He was like me.. as a kid, kinda. Big family, but still.. just lost and generally getting into trouble. He joined the military, then volunteered for the labs.. I was found by the labs, and in the end, we both got our powers. Different, but also so similar. It's strange, that we found each other at all.

He can't go back to his family - none of them. They let him live, in return for not showing his face and "embarrassing" them. Ridiculous people. Max is amazing.

Oh, and we met the oddest dude called The Night-Star. VERY odd. Hero. Not sure he caught on that we.. aren't. heh heh.

[survivor-trinidad-and-tobago]

Episode 12: "michael and alex and i are FULLY FUCKING VIBING like can we just get an escape pod to leave the game together"—Kaleigh

In this round: Michael is considered a traitor for flipping on an alliance where nobody asked for his input; Champ goes all the way in Masochism, earning her a slew of disadvantages, including the reveal of her Hot Giiiirrrlllzzzz alliance with Zee and Jack; Zee gets immunity by proxy; an anesthesia-addled Michael shares the details of his chaos idol with his alliance a half hour before tribal and they manage to decode it, using it to flip the vote onto the majority alliance; eman tries to vote herself but in lieu of that, volunteers to go to Purgatory

Eman

Earlier today, I sent the following message to the VL.

"Ugh, the ETHICS of it all!"

I was torn between three votes: Michael, Alex, and Colin.

Michael was the obvious vote - he betrayed EVERYONE (on our side).

Colin was the strategic vote - and also an absolute snake-in-the-grass.

Alex - Alex was the vote causing me angst. I wanted to keep my word to him. I did. Not just because I don't like striking first (which is terribly gendered behavior and I need to get over it) but also because I just do. As I've said before I wanna play a heroes game.

But here's the deal, yo! And I've said it before.

I'm not gonna strike first, but I will strike back. (And this goes double when it's someone I care about)

Now, obvs. I forgave Jack for two reasons. 1) Cuz he's playing to my ego and calling me 'auntie' and I'm a superficial slut and 2) because I truly believe the guy doesn't have a malicious bone in his body and he got played.

I will also add that I obviously would've had an issue voting against (for?? what preposition works here) Kaleigh as well even if she hadn't been immune.

(SIDENOTE - Fuck me with a rusty pocket knife I just read the challenge)

But - Kaleigh and Alex voted against me here . . . and that means all bets are off. I didn't write their name before, and I wouldn't've, but I have no problem doing so now. Probably moreso Kaliegh than Alex as she stole my 1/2 an extra vote (albeit Alex told her about it).

I like when previously difficult ethical dilemmas are rendered easy. So thanks, ya'll.

Alex

I am 0 for 3 in trusting my gut this week and if I were even 1 for 3 I would be in such a different spot in this game. So that kind of sucks to think about. Kaleigh has an idol and if I was right with my intuition on Eman MAYBE there's still hope but it doesn't feel like anyone from the other side is gonna try and shake things up (or talk to me today LOL) who knows what will happen. Whatever. The chat between me, Kaleigh, and Michael last night was the most fun I've had in this game so far so I'm glad that happened before one of us potentially goes.

Jack

Kaleigh

god this game.. zee got a steal a vote and stole michael’s vote and jack lied and said he didn’t have a vote (i think he’s lying cuz tony said he didn’t have a vote and jack claims he found out DURING the vote, which i do not see being something the hosts doing). michael and alex and i are FULLY FUCKING VIBING like can we just get an escape pod to leave the game together LMFAOO i fully would!!! so i’m gonna have to tell the boys that i have a steal a vote, probably tell michael i have an idol… idek this game is giving me brain worms. i dont know who to vote for tn bc A) two people are gonna be immune (probably on their side) and whoever wins immunity is probably going to have some unknown slew of disadvantages, one of which may be losing their vote. SO. i have to be careful about how i play STEAL A VOTE. and i have to try and figure out if i can use my idol in a smart way. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!!! maybe i should ask my host chat if i can build a spy shack á la tony in cagayan.

i love alex and michael, i’m saying that straight up so JOT THAT DOWN FOR THE EDGIC. champ i feel uncertain about, i know she has lied to me about multiple things, zee i WISH i could work with again but i don’t think we’ll ever be able to trust each other. but who knows man. we chatted yesterday and she lied to me about some shit and may have been honest about some shit. she said she didn’t know about emans advantage that i stole LMAO but idk idk. eman i don't feel good about at all. god fuck, i do not wanna go home tonight! i need to be able to talk to alex every day or i will die!! i need to be able to talk to michael about tv!!! well we can’t actually scheme until we know who’s immune so. time to let go and let GOD

Tony

Things are getting dicier as the game continues on. I’m gonna have to make a choice to flip but tonight is not the night to do it especially with the amount of disadvantages I’ve got going on. Michael has saved me once so I feel like I owe him at least to know if folks are gunning for him.

Zee

See, people think I'm not perceptive, or that I don't notice things, but my anxious ass is constantly thinking. I'm pretty sure that I'm the one being left out of the most conversations happening in this game right now. The only (active) alliance chat I'm in right now is Hot Girlz, but it's late in the game, there's definitely more Alliance chats out there, and aside from the fact that I need to step up my game, it's kind of making me think about who's aligning with who. Right now I'm pretty sure Tony and Michael are working together still, it's smart too since nobody would expect them to be working together, and it means Tony would have the power to flip whenever he wants. Eman and Champ and Tony i think are working together closer than she's leading me to believe, but only because nobody but Champ told me about Tony losing a vote, so she had to know somehow. This has got me thinking that I'm gonna have to step up my gameplay and maybe choose my loyalties a bit better. Obviously Kaleigh Michael and Alex are working together still, but everybody kind of knew that already.

--

I think i need to put in more work with the rest of the tribe, and maybe get some alliances going, since I'm not in a great position right now. I'm honestly not in too many alliances and that's kinda upsetting. Kaleigh and I have a weird Romeo and Juliet thing going on where we're both in opposing alliances but we're still talking tea about past shit or cool stuff the others have done during tribal or just in the game in general. I'm hoping maybe there's the chance for she and I to start working together again, but who knows.

Eman

Okay, let's think this through because I have nothing else to do between now and my 9AM flight and I may have had one-too-many cans of wine.

Given: There's no way to win this challenge.

Proposition: I have to get the least worst option.

We are now at 8.

People I am pretty sure are "on my side"™️ - Zee - Champ - Tony

People on "the other side"™️ - Michael - Alex - Kaleigh

Here's where things get interesting. Jack is a free agent though I think he's burned his bridges mostly because he was played and who would like that. BUT at the same time he might be aware he's on the bottom on his alliance.

And Colin is in purgatory and I wouldn't put it past him to send a disadvantage if not to me to my side.

So, what's a human to do.

Option A - fuck immunity, pray you wind up in purgatory where you can either send advantages to your side or fuck up the other side because you sure as shit don't wanna wind up on the jury, but at the same time it's pretty certain you're going to be voted out if somehow "The Other Side"™️ can garner enough votes.

Option B - Fight like hell for immunity and take whatever stacked disadvantages come with it. Even if those stacked disadvantages mean losing your vote. Even if those stacked disadvantages mean potentially fucking yourself over for future rounds.

Now. . . wouldn't it be funny if "The Other Side"™️ knows that you're fighting like fuck for immunity . . . because, after all a) you need it and b) you're the type of person who will fight like hell and c) you're also the type of person who will fight like hell for their people and the prospect of a SECOND immunity is extraordinarily tantalizing.

So, in order to try to rob you of that advantage someone on "The Other Side"™️ also steps up.

And wouldn't it be funny if I didn't.

And they have, in so doing basically thrown one of their own to the wolves because only one is not immune.

Wouldn't that be funny.

Anyway, I haven't decided what I'm doing yet - because mostly I have to decide where the line between martyr and criminal mastermind lies (somewhere south of "never go up a Sicilian when death is on the line")

And also because then I'll have to immediately decide to whom I'm giving the immunity - a long time ally or a chaotic choice that also seems rational (perhaps Jack as a reward for sticking with me?)

And whether I'm willing to have potential disadvantages from Colin stacked on top of whatever disadvantages I earn in exchange for immunity.

Holy hell.

I think I may have just calmly and rationally talked myself out of going for this immunity. There may actually be far more to lose than to gain, and a lot of my day job includes trying to convince people to not fall for the trap of short-term-ism, which is what this challenge is.

But it's not scheduled until tomorrow afternoon, so I have more than enough time to try to argue myself into another decision . . .

Champ

Again doing confessionals so last minute, anyway LMFAO kinda iconic for 2 immunities right away but yeah I’m for sure Screwed going forward. Hopefully this next vote goes according to plan and there’s not any extra votes or steel votes honestly I would love for a rock draw because I’m safe the end so let’s spice things up. Anyways hope I’m not getting too cocky cause I’m definitely not next.

Tribal Council

Tony: Jack (I hope we get to play again together someday!)

Michael: EMAN (We didn't really get to play together)

Alex: Eman (Again, genuinely a testament to your game that this was the extent we had to go to take you out. I'm glad I got to be a  hero with you for a little while.)

Kaleigh: EMAN (i hope u enjoy ur tripp)

Champ: Eman 

Zee: Eman (as you wish, your sacrifice will not be forgotten)

Eman: Jack (I hope this doesn't work. I wasn't allowed to vote for myself)

Jack: eman

[mountain-ash-and-rusted-iron]

this is an oc masterpost of all my haf-formed ocs languishing on pinterest with their messy aesthetics and unedited blurbs, in roughly chronological order of their creation, plus sorted by fandom. this post is only asoiaf, harry potter, hunger games, and riverdale, cos i have tooooooo many original characters otherwise and the post was getting incredibly long. (note that i love my ocs but these one’s are not polished or even the final versions of their characters, i just wanted to post them lol)

under a read more, if you’re on mobile start scrolling i guess, sorry,,,

Game of Thrones/A Song of Ice and Fire:

Laeya Targeryen: (child of Rhaella and Aerys Targaryen, born 280 AC - three years older than Danaerys) 

Fearful of her impending marriage, Laeya is eleven when she takes her younger sister and flees across the sea to Dorne, hiding herself and Dany with dyed hair and badly controlled magic. As Leia and Dani Sand they learn to live normally. At 15 Leia joins the Royal Guard and secures Dany work as a tailor's apprentice. When she is 17, an assassin tries to kill her in front of the Dornish court and everything changes...

- so laeya straight up has magic, which im considering an extension of the dragon thing dany has - she can control flame and for the disguise uses her ‘inner fire’ to make her eyes white-blue like super hot flames, cos the purple eyes are super distinctive. and then she’s discovered and suddenly politics are happening. honestly she’s entirely a way for me to remove the child marriage bits of the targaryen storyline (stop marrying off your twelve-year-old baby sister viserys u asshole) - in terms of meta/basics, laeya doesn’t have a fc cos most of my early ocs don’t, and bcs i picture her as emilia clarke with faked dark hair and blue eyes lol

and a quick aesthetic below:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Kyrra Snow: (child of Robert Baratheon and Maery Snow, birthdate ???)

Kyrra Snow is the eldest natural-born child of Robert Baratheon, current King of Westeros, and daughter of Maery Snow, a Southron (but Northern-born) merchant woman. After her mother realises Kyrra was growing up a little too much like her father in looks and needed to leave the far South before she caught the wrong sort of attention, Kyrra was sent off to travel with her aunt and cousins. She is 17 and heading further north, to Winter Town, when Jon Arryn dies.

- kyrra’s another child of everyone’s favourite asshole king, and she’s got a lot of people after her head, but she just wants to travel and continue her work as a simple peddler. (riiip poor girl) honestly she’s not that developed but yolo -

aes:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brynn Stark: (child of Catelyn and Eddard Stark, Robb’s twin sister)  

Brynn believes in honour and family, and she is loyal to Winterfell and the North above all else. Likes - archery, embroidery and weaving. Betrothed to [some young Northern lord] to keep the bonds between the Norther families strong.

-i basically made brynn as a contrast to sansa’s pro-southnness and excessive femininity and arya’s anger and desire for swords (relatable mood tho lmao). so brynn is here to mediate, extoll the virtues of both needlework and weapons, make a decent marriage to someone she likes, if not loves, and hold down the fort in the North while shit gets increasingly messier in the South. and a possible faceclaim is Àstrid Bergès-Frisbey - 

aes:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rosienne Lannister: (child of Joanna and Tywin Lannister, born 273 AC)

Rose is looked at by the realm with dismissal, a consolation prize for her father, a spare daughter only useful for matchmaking, but at least able-bodied and pretty, unlike her brother. After a long betrothal, Rose is married to Willas Tyrell at the age of eighteen, cementing her role as the next Lady of High Garden...

- Rosie/Rose is a bonus Lannister, bcs why not. likes cyvasse and the harp, soft and kind and maternal, powerful in her own way. originally she was from a minor divergence where joanna survives tyrion’s birth and goes on to have another kid, but not sure if i’ll keep that aspect, so for now she’s tyrion’s twin -

and her aes (yes that quote is cropped, no i don’t care rn):

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

honourable mentions to my other got underdeveloped got/asoiaf ocs who need more effort before i post properly about them:

Tamlen Storm, a rookery apprentice (working for the Maester of House Tully, managing the ravens) who may or may not be a reincarnated si-oc trying to save westeros, 

and an unnamed northern huntress who stumbled into the plot somehow and wants her normal life back (entirely inspired by Keira Knightley as Gwyn in Princess of Thieves, when she’s doing archery stuff and looking v butch).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Harry Potter:

Taurus ‘Ara’ Lestrange:  (child of Bellatrix and Roldolphous Lestrange, born 1978) 

Raised by the Goblins after a legal mix-up following her parents' imprisonment in Azkaban, Taurus is good with a sword and aiming to be the next Minister of Magic. She attends Hogwarts with the other magical kids her age, under the fake identity Ara Burke, unknown cousin of a minor half-blood family. When the Potter brat’s drama starts destroying her change at an education just as her fourth year, her OWL prep year, begins, Ara intervenes.

- im tangentially aware that as bellatrix’s kid she’s almost occupying the place of whats-her-name from the cursed child, but considering that i know nothing about the cursed child and don’t care about it anyway, i have elected to ignore this. her actual parent might turn out to be some smitten half-blood from a minor branch of the Greengrass family, or it might actually be Rodolphous, who knows. slightly inspired by the fic ‘Harry Crow’ (by robst on ff.net) where harry is raised by the goblins -

messy aes:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Valerian Potter: (child of Lily and James Potter, born 1980)

After the Potter twins’ parents are murdered by Voldemort, they’re dumped on the doorstep of Number 4, Privet Drive. Dealing with two traumatised magical orphans, Petunia and Vernon Dursley turn to violence and neglect to stay in control, acting far more harshly than expected. With the arrival of two Hogwarts letters, life gets complicated incredibly quickly. (Self-sufficient and scarred from abuse, Val and Harry are immediately Sorted into Slytherin). 

- val’s fic is basically an angst fest, okay,,, -

aes:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and shout-outs to: holly addison potter, a half-baked reincarnation si-oc (i love that concept a lot, can u tell) and my fav girl thea dursley, who already has her own fic and so isn’t getting a proper spot in this post 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Hunger Games:

Asher: (District Two, age 18) 

[rip no blurb for asher]

-asher is a career from two, who wins the 70th games. mostly im focusing on her recovery and how the games function in two, with training volunteers and mentoring and collecting sponsors, plus eventually the rebellion. lots of the D2 headcanon i have is inspired by @/lorata but i defintely made a distinct effort to have my own stuff, cos where’s the fun in plagiarism -

aes for Asher’s Games:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  Rowan Everdeen: (District Twelve, age 19)

Rowan will do anything to protect her family. This extends to going to Head Peacekeeper Cray on a cold winters night, charging the most she can get for her virginity.  It extends to Reaping Day, when she steps out in front of the crowd and says “I volunteer as tribute” in the steadiest voice she can muster.  It extends to clawing her way out of the Arena, bloody and exhausted, with blades in her hands and violence kept tucked behind her teeth. It extends further, to a simple ‘Yes, President Snow’ when he coldly, carefully implies her family might meet with an accident if she doesn’t play the good little Victor (and fuck the people who pay the Capitol for her company). It extends to joining the Rebellion, to looking President Coin directly in the eye and agreeing to be a Mockingjay, a symbol for the people to rally around.

- another everdeen kiddo! as the big sister, rowan volunteers for prim, and goes through the Games - she’s a healer and a hunter, and a decent enough actor that she can manage interviews and a camera presence, unlike katniss. rowan also pairs well with a minor au i have, where the reapings are spaced out over a week and official training is a longer, giving the capitol a nice, long buildup to get excited and place bets, etc., and giving the poor, underfed tributes from the outer districts a better chance, which makes for more interesting television and better Games -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Adrasteia Crane: (The Capitol, age 28) Unlike her big brother, Adrasteia doesn’t want to be a Gamemaker. Instead, she wants to create clothes, artwork, to enrapture the Capitol. She wants to be a Games stylist. After years of design school, of working her way up the ranks, first a PA’s assistant, and then fetching and carrying for Twelve’s prep team, and then eventually on a prep team for the dull tributes from Six, Adrasteia Crane finally has what she wants - the position of stylist for District Three’s male tribute in 74th Hunger Games. 

- tbh adrasteia is only seneca crane’s sister because i couldn’t think of a suitable last name for her lmao. i think i’d actually prefer her to be unattached to any major canon players. however, his death is a good motivation for her to join the rebellion, so we’ll see. she’s got a bit of the capitol fashion thing going too, with soft pink hair and diamond-effect skin on her face and shoulders -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

also bonus hunger games content: another oc, Sarsaparilla Verran, from District Eleven, fifteen and alone when she goes into the Games. An orphan, her siblings lost to the Community Home system years ago, her relatives dead or uncaring. So, Rilla is a wee lonely bab tbh. she did not want this, unlike most of my other hg ocs, and she’s not excited for weeks of murder. she just wants her family back, but since that isn’t possible, she’ll build a new family instead. and uuhhhhh,  spoiler alert, she dies before she can have this ://///

and my hunger games aus - a canon divergence where katniss joins the careers instead of peeta, her desire to go home to her family outweighing her reactive hate for the concept of training/volunteering to kill other teens, and a fem!Haymitch au where she’s a little wiser to the dark side of the capitol before she commits acts of rebellion (she still rebels anyway tho, just smarter).

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Riverdale:

Cat Cooper: (middle child of Alice and Hal Cooper) Cat Cooper (17) is the black sheep of the Cooper family. Her piercings, brightly dyed hair and connections to the Southside Serpents make her the odd one out among her sisters and constantly at odds with Alice Cooper. Cat’s life is occupied with her Serpent friends, work at a local coffee shop, and training - martial arts, supplemented with cross country, gymnastics and swimming. Until her older sister is shipped off to places unknown and her baby sister starts getting caught up in murder investigation with the absent Serpent heir... 

- haven’t decided between Catelyn or Catherine for Cat’s full name lmao. she used to be Kit, actually, but I changed it cos i prefer Kit to solely be my divergent oc (kit serafim). Cat is an ADHD disaster who loves her sisters and her friends and wants to get the hell out of Riverdale on a sports scholarship (she does either boxing or karate mainly, need to figure that bit out) -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Georgie Andrews: (child of Mary and Fred Andrews)

Georgie likes soft drinks, cheerleading, and hanging out with the Blossom twins and Polly Cooper, their closest friends and a welcome distraction from their own problems. After Polly and Jason vanish, Georgie’s support system is almost gone, and they has to deal with everything they’ve been bottling up, just in time for Fred Andrews to get shot.

- also just angst ngl.  so georgie’s gender is basically ???, they enjoy cheerleading and not much else. they spend half their time dealing with depression, by trying to ignore stressful/hard topics and focus on the good side of everything. this isn’t a great long-term coping mechanism and has the fun side effect of pissing of the people around him when she seems unable to be serious or empathetic to someone else's pain (bcs she’s too busy deflecting for the sake of her own fragile mental health), so it gets fun when fred is shot and archie starts getting in too deep with the lodges -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sera Thornstone: (parents ???) Southside Serpent. Going to the Riverdale Community College and running errands for FP Jones. And secretly meeting up with her Ghoulie lover down by the Sweetwater where nobody goes. 

- everything about sera is vague and undecided lmao. but she has a ghoulie gf/bf/nbf? and they’re hiding that they were down by the river on the 4th of july, cos a serpent is an immediate suspect. going to community college to work on getting general credits before saving up for fancy school for law or journalism. the aes isn’t entirely accurate cos sera’s built from the remains of another serpent oc who i scrapped (she does have a baseball bat tho) -

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

and honourable mentions to jen johnson and octavia blossom-murphy, my other riverdale ocs who actually have content, plus an in-development unnamed oc who gets adopted from the soqm by the Muggs family and growsup with Ethel. and my riverdale role reversal au, which i will never write but have some nice aesthetics for under the tag wip: bughead role reversal au.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

all my mini-aesthetics here are unsourced images/from pinterest. any similarities to other people or characters, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. 

alrighty that’s it. now i have to tag this behemoth argh