#no it like makes it ungovernable | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

cravetive · 3 months ago

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PERICULUM | KTH (M)

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🕊 Pairing: Kim Taehyung x Fem!reader

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🕊 Synopsis: the day of your wedding has finally arrived, the day when you will leave your heartbreaks and disappointments behind and begin a future with the man that you love. you are supposed to be happy but instead, you find yourself gripped with a bad case of cold feet and soon you will have to come face to face with your past and the unwelcome guest that arrives with it.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🕊Genre: non-idol!au, smut, maybe a plot?

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🕊 Warnings: swearing here and there, pining?, sexual tension, yandere, fingering, oral sex (F! receiving) , dirty talk, creampie (of course), teasing, unprotected sex, little bondage, hardcore, foreplay, dom/sub dynamics, kissing, Taehyung needs therapy like yesterday, cheating?

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🕊 Authors note: I'm back but I'm not better, this might not be my best work and I apologize for my absence greatly. of course, I am a creature of habit so this might have some spelling errors, please allow me some grace whilst I get back in my groove.

𓏲 ๋࣭ ࣪ ˖🕊 Word count: 8k ( give or take )

The sun cascades through white curtains, casting a golden hue inside the room you now sit in - its rays glowing on every visible surface. It is complemented by the squeals and excited voices of the bridesmaids that roam around frantically, Their light sage dresses flowing against the Italian breeze that empties through the agape windows, the supple gust that caresses your cheeks bringing forth the scent of white roses that decorate the wedding reception outside.

Today there will be a wedding, your wedding to be exact.

After numerous heartbreaks and misfortunes, you would be walking down the aisle in Castello Brown into the arms of the person who guaranteed you safety, making the inconceivable idea of marriage a reality.

You and Joseon had met in the strangest of times, in which the both of you were in your most raw state. Vulnerable and searching for warmth in every place plausible, and just like that, almost as if the universe had synched with time you found comfort in each other. Like cold water on a hot summer day, a soft pillow for the both of you to lay your heads on.

The promise of a future blurs the lines of the inevitable truth, you are settling.

But you love him….you do.

Or at least, do you think you do?

If you were, to tell the truth to anyone including yourself, you’d open your mouth and confess the uncertainty that currently grips you. It remains nuzzled inside your belly, making itself part of your organism until it reaches your bloodstream, latching onto your heart, spreading through each beat it dares take. Growing heavier and ungovernable the closer you get to saying your vows.

It debilitates you in the most unpleasant form, bringing forth memories of a man who you once knew, who you once loved. It's hard for you not to feel like an imposter, as if you are taking the place of someone else, someone more deserving or perhaps it’s because you can't stop daydreaming of another version of this day, a recurring dream of your wedding where someone else stands there waiting for you instead of Joseon.

The memory of his face inhabits your mind menacingly. His touch, his voice, and his scent leave a virulent residue inside of you.

Yet, you avoid the whispers that roam your mind. Opting to ignore the truth that lingers there, forcing yourself to believe that you’ve made the right decision. Undermining the effect it has on you because everyone must feel like this on their wedding day, right?

It's just cold feet, or maybe it's because you haven’t had a good meal. Your appetite is affected by the anticipation of your big day - the way your corset presses against your ribs, a factor your mind is inclined to believe.

Anything but the onerous honesty of what you are unfeignedly feeling.

Joseon will be your husband, he will be the man that you love and cherish for the rest of your life because you said yes, because he is where you feel most secure. Unlike the trembling hands of the man who your heart lingered for. Where you found yourself always scared to fall, doubting he could ever catch you. Your fiance is who the universe has sent for you and it is in your best interest to believe that, it is what you need to convince yourself of until there is no scope of contemplation left inside of you.

Joseon has to be your person.

“Alright, ladies I need the bridesmaids to please accompany me downstairs for a few pictures” Sasha, your wedding planner announces whilst she steps into the room, her all-black formal attire standing out amongst the pastels and soft colors that ornament the day.

The bridesmaids pour out of the room obediently, leaving behind echoes of laughter in the hall they disappear into. Sasha glances in your direction and provides you a warm smile, one that you reciprocate momentarily before your eyes shift back to the mirror in front of you. You can't allow her to look at you for a moment longer, scared that she might be able to notice the precariousness blooming within you.

“Everything is going smoothly Y/n” she reassures you, perceiving the nerves that rattle through your bones. You pretend like that eases you, like somehow that is enough to stop the trembling in your hands.

“And you look stunning” she adds and this time you turn to look at her again, another smile spreading across your cheeks, this one more genuine.

“Thank you” your words come out as a whisper, ending in a squeak and then a trail of giggles which she shares with you.

You clear your throat as it drains from all moisture caused by the question that makes its presence in your head and you almost feel guilty for even being curious but you ask anyway.

“How’s Joseon?” Sasha smiles, oblivious to your current feelings, she thinks the question is rather romantic but in reality all you want to know is if he’s feeling as ill at ease as you are.

If you aren’t the only one feeling out of place.

“He’s ready,” she laughs “He can't stop saying how much he wants to see you already.”

Your stomach twists with the information and an intrusive idea perks in your mind, perhaps if you do see him before the ceremony then all these questions racing inside your mind will disappear. Maybe they will evaporate into thin air the second you lay eyes on him - like they do in the movies.

Perhaps his familiar face will silence the hesitation that has built intrusively inside of you.

“Tell him I want to see him too” you state but it sounds more like a request, a desperate one.

“Don't worry, you will get to soon” Sasha affirms but fear settles in your gut. The kind of terror that is baseless, influenced by the anxiety that devours you swiftly and you reluctantly conclude that seeing Joseon is no match for the doubt that inhabits you.

It wouldn’t change a thing.

“Yeah” you sigh, nodding your head whilst attempting to dry off your clammy palms against the silk fabric of your robe.

“Well I’ll let you finish” she cheers “You have abouuuttt” she mumbles, looking down at the watch she wears on her wrist “About 45 minutes to get ready, and then we will be on standby for your entrance.”

You inhale sharply, the sound of an absent clock thundering inside of your mind. Is it too late to change your mind? And if you do, would you hurt Joseon? But you already know the answer as you watch your wedding planner exit the room, only exhaling when she is completely gone.

“Are you nervous?” Brie, your make-up artist whispers, as if she is asking something no one should hear and you jump at the sound of her voice, too lost in your thoughts to realize she is still there. Her gentle laughter pervades the space and for some reason it irritates you, taking her innocent joy as mockery.

Why was everyone so happy? So excited? When this was your big day, your moment. You’re the one supposed to be feeling elated, and ecstatic. But yet, no matter how hard you try, you are incapable of unearthing those feelings inside of you. You are left with no other option than to cling to the possibility that this must happen to everyone, that you aren’t the only one accompanied by this feeling on your wedding day.

Your eyes find Brie’s, her stare reflecting sympathy and selfless happiness and you realize the anger that builds up inside of you is misplaced.

Though you don't offer her the truth and perhaps it is because you honestly don't know what you are feeling, all you know is that you are blinking more than usual and your heart slams against your chest, hoping that if it manages to collide with your sternum hard enough it will rip open for it to escape.

So, you shake your head and negate the profound emotions that you should urgently expose but that you yearn to hide.

“I'm ready” you breathe “more than I’ll ever be.”

“That’s good” she hums while she blends in the blush on your cheeks, her tone is doubtful and you can feel yourself begin to panic. Does she not believe you? Has she noticed your uneasiness, but of course how could she not - you’re usually a chatterbox, sparking the most random conversations, laughing at the most absurd things but now it's as if you can’t open your mouth unless it's to say how fine you are.

“It’s okay to be nervous” Brie speaks again, turning to grab another one of her brushes. Your moistened eyes come up to look at her once again, dread dropping like a splash of ink inside you “This is a big step, not everyone is brave enough to do it.”

For an instant you are drawn to confide in her, to tell her what’s happening. If someone else helps you carry the burden then it can’t possibly weigh so harshly on your shoulders, right?

“Brie” you begin to speak, a warning preparing to follow after.

‘Don't tell anyone this but I don't think I'm ready’

“It will all be over when you walk down the aisle and then you'll laugh about it for years to come '' she says and your mouth clamps shut, swallowing your words.

“Yeah” you agree, a small smile appearing on your face to appease her.

And you pray that she’s right, that once you see the faces of all your loved ones, of Joseon then all these conflicting feelings will subside.

There's a soft knock on the door, the subtle sound reverberating inside of the silence that has begun to form inside the room but you ignore it, reluctant to have to face yet another person whom you’ll need to hide from in hopes that they don’t notice how you fall apart.

“I’ll go get it” Brie lays down her brush and walks towards the door. Your eyes drift back to the mirror in front of you and your next breath hitches in your throat. You don't recognize the reflection in front of you and within a period you begin to dissociate.

She’s a bride.

An imitation of all those women in the wedding magazines you’ve read for months now, the pink tint on her lips and blushed cheeks providing her an innocent appearance - the waves in her hair that are pinned to the back of her head waiting for her veil to be placed a detail you can't miss. You raise your hand to brush against your cheek, stroking the skin there softly as you succumb to the realization that something is missing.

Because the only thing you can’t replicate from those brides in the magazines is the happiness behind their eyes.

“Oh my god!” Brie’s high-pitched voice reaches your ears and you turn to look in her direction. You can tell she is holding something in her arms, a package maybe and you furrow your eyebrows at her sudden excitement.

“What is it?” you ask, sliding forward in your chair.

Brie turns and you get a glimpse of what has just been delivered, her face leaning down to inhale the aroma. The bouquet she holds is a cluster of soft pink and white, the colors seamlessly blending in a beautiful arrangement.

It prompts every single muscle in your to tense, your eyes widening in terror at the gift you’ve just been given.

“Look! Someone sent these for you” She smiles widely, your hands clamp tightly onto the armrest of your chair whilst your heart plummets to your feet.

“I wonder who these are from” Brie exclaims, her teasing tone causing your skin to grow pale as she reaches you. Your eyes remain on the flowers in her hands, too shell-shocked to react in the way she expects you to. The flowers are a symbol of something you have desperately tried to forget, a past that has no place in your memory today but that has been brought forth by the cruelty of the person who has sent them.

Peonies.

There only exists one other person on this earth who knows how much you love them, who knows your fixation with its petals and colors. The sight of them is like a bucket of cold water being poured over you, it awakens every sense of insecurity inside of you and leaves you bare.

“oh there's a card!” she chirps, pulling the small envelope embedded between the petals for you to see.

You attempt to feign indifference but the way you snatch the card from her hand and stumble away from her sight exposes all your colors. Your hands tremble against the small white envelope, pulling and tearing until your fingers are raw, your chest heaving from the distress taking over you.

You blink away the tears that glaze your pupils, raising the small card into the light where you find his handwriting and your corset tightens around your waist. Your lips quiver while you read the words there, a message that is short and simple - only taking him a few seconds to write and a lifetime for you to recover from.

‘Best of wishes to you and the man that you don’t love’

The world dissolves around you and you anchor onto his words, your mind growing painfully quiet and the tantrum that your heart throws begins to subside. Your armor cracks as he unveils you in a manner only he can. Snatching away the lies you’ve been telling yourself to stay sane, no longer being able to hide behind the denial you’ve sown yourself to.

The nostalgic evocation of him blinds you and a blood-curdling scream erupts within you, manifesting itself as a loud gasp that you choke on.

“What does it say?” Brie asks, taking small steps in your direction, concern in her expression. Your eyes shift to her quickly, your hands subconsciously pressing the card to your chest in another poor attempt to conceal the truth.

“Uh” you breathe, digging for an answer, for an excuse.

“Oh, it’s just an old friend” you whimper.

But Taehyung isn’t just a friend - not in the slightest or at least he wasn’t. No, Taehyung was not just a person, not someone you could easily forget or disregard. He was everything all at once. The definition of the right person at the wrong time, the reason why you’ve sought shelter in someone else’s arms. Too complicated to explain, too painful to recall.

“Oh that’s sweet” Brie utters hesitantly, her eyes following along while you frantically pace around the room, nourished by the rush of adrenaline that pumps through your veins.

“Is everything okay, Y/n?”

You snap your attention to her and you halt your movements, the card still pressed tightly against your chest. “Of course, I just need-” you inhale and your mind goes blank. What do you need? What would alleviate the torment you currently feel?

“I just need a moment” You shut your eyes, trying to learn how to breathe again “Alone” you emphasize.

“Oh of course” Brie responds, her worried eyes expressing words she doesn’t speak whilst nodding her head.

“I’m just a bit overwhelmed that’s all” you gulp nervously.

“No I get it” she reassures you and with one last worried glance, she makes her way towards the door.

It is only when the door slams shut that you notice the heat that has blended itself in the air, sweat beginning to form on your freshly applied make-up. It leads you to rush to the open windows, your shaky hands reaching for the curtains which you pull onto desperately - praying for the scarce breeze of September to seep inside and offer you relief.

You stare back down at the card that you cage inside of your hands and your eyes flutter shut as a loud sigh leaves your lips. You wish you could say you didn't see this coming, that somehow this was some kind of big revelation but Taehyung was an animal of habit, the habit of making his presence known when you most wanted to forget him.

Your eyes move to the clock that sits on top of the nightstand and you shudder - you only have 20 minutes left until the ceremony begins and here you are losing your mind over someone who belonged to your past. You remove your robe, exposing your white lace lingerie, the intricately patterned fabric pressing against your skin, a gift you have prepared for your soon-to-be husband.

You’re determined to push forward, to walk down the aisle that promises you happiness because it’s what you deserve. No longer would you allow Taehyung to play with your mind, not in the way you had previously - you convince yourself that he no longer knows you at all.

The wedding dress that lays on top of the bed draws your attention and you stand still for a moment, inspecting the all-white gown that should be but isn’t on you. You sigh and reach for it, feeling the soft charmeuse fabric under your fingers. You try to convince yourself that once you put it on all will be well and these perturbing feelings along with that note will be left in the past, like a sick memory.

Amongst the rest of the other things that you’ve shared with Taehyung.

As you rush to put on the dress, you hear the soft hum of your phone ringing and you turn to reach for it, you know you are running late - it's probably Brie reminding you of the time. You look at the screen at the unsaved number and sigh as you answer the call.

“I know” Your hand rubs over your temple whilst your eyes fall shut, an ache forming there.

“I just need a bit of help putting on the dress.”

“I can help with that”

The voice is low and rasped, carrying a certain familiarity that you fear recognizing. It flows through your ear like a song, your brain recalling each time that you’ve heard it before, the many times your heart fluttered over it.

“W-ho” you choke, your eyes opening quickly “Who is this?”

“You forgot my voice so soon, my love?”

You stand up quickly, dread forming in your gut as an inevitable realization comes to your head.

“How did you get my number?”

“Ah you didn’t forget” he chuckles lowly, a certain taunt in his tone “I knew you wouldn’t”.

“Taehyung” you whisper which is paired with a heavy sigh “Why are you calling me?”

“Did you get my note?” he ignores your line of questions, delivering you one of his own.

You stare at the crumpled card thrown on the bed next to your dress and you turn away.

“What note?” you retort.

“You are great at many things Y/n but at lying? You were never good at lying” he states, his tone bringing chills down your spine.

“What do you want?” you demand, a quiver accompanying the question.

“Just wanted to hear your voice one last time before you became a married woman” he hums, as if his statement means nothing.

“Taehyung” you warn.

“Oh come on Y/n” he chuckles once again “didn’t you miss my voice too?”

“No, I didn't” you snap.

“Not even a little bit?” he asks, a smirk spread through his face which you can picture even from the other line.

There is a knock on the door and you flinch at the abrupt sound. Your heart beats a mile per second and you fix your eyes on the clock once again.

You have 10 minutes left.

“It was nice catching up Taehyung but I have a wedding to attend,” you say before ending the call, throwing your phone across the room. You don't have time to sit and ponder what Taehyung wants, it's not about him today. You won't allow his selfishness to absorb you once again, in the end, that is all he wants. Your steps are rushed as you approach the door, hoping it’s Brie who has returned to help you with your dress.

You leave the door open before quickly turning, heading back to the bed where your wedding dress lays, the small Swarovski diamonds shining as the sunbeams on the fabric.

“Brie, can you please help me I have 10 minutes to get ready and I'm so sorry about before I had a lot on my mind but I'm ready” you ramble, picking up the dress from the bed and beginning to remove the buttons on the back.

The door shuts and you hear footsteps approaching you.

“Can you please hurry Brie, I don't want Joseon to think I left him at the alter or something” you giggle nervously but as you turn to glance at Brie, in her place is a man, he wears a black suit with his hair brushed back and the grip on the fabric on your dress loosens, the dress falling to the ground.

You scan the man’s face carefully, his small child-like smile luring your heart to thump faster. He’s taller than Joseon, his posture confident and relaxed, his intense and machiavellian stare the next thing you notice and of the small mole that sits on his right lower eyelid.

“Taehyung,” you say. Your wide eyes blinking as if it would make his presence go away as if he was but a figment of your imagination.

A small smirk appears on his face as his eyes travel your bare skin, a low hiss falling from his lips.

“W-what are you doing here?” you ask, eyes narrowing on him.

“Look at you” Taehyung breathes “a bride”.

“Taehyung don't fuck with me, what are you doing here?”

“I wanted to see you” he explains plainly, taking a step forward which you respond by taking a step back.

His eyes linger on your face, his stare gripping and longing and if it wasn't for the way you avoided it, you could’ve picked up on the subtle sadness in them, of an emotion that he hides behind his cunning bravado.

“Well, you have” you demand “Now please go” Your tone clings to fear - fear of what will occur if he remains in your presence any longer. Your resolution, the one that you had spent years building inside melts away like butter. You take in his presence and you don't dare say this out loud but for a second you pray that he stays for more than just a few minutes, that if by chance or perhaps luck he will say that he wants to stay, for more than just a few hours.

“Y/n” he mutters, the delicate tone in which he says your name a weakness you had never been able to overcome. In his mouth, he holds words he has prepared for this exact day - reasons and explanations he should’ve given you in the past but had never had the guts to.

“Don't marry him” he says instead.

Your eyes don't dare blink as you process what he has just uttered, your entire body stiff with the request. It feels like a slap on the face, an unforgivable offense but you can’t bring yourself to react except for the tears that swell in your eyes.

“Why?” your bottom lip trembles and every muscle in your body pleads for you to turn away, to shut out his voice - to pretend like you didn't hear the purpose of his visit.

“Why are you doing this to me?”

“Did you think I would let you go through with this? Your surprise shocks me” he chuckles, moving towards you while you move away - until your back is pressed against the wall and he stands but a few inches away.

“Taehyung, please just go” you speak confidently, you try to find other words that would persuade him away from you but your mind goes blank, you know deep in your soul that you don't believe any of the things you push yourself to say and so you swing a cheap punch in hopes that it will land.

“I love Joseon.”

Taehyung closes his eyes as Joseon’s name flows through your mouth, indignation building inside of him with the recognition that it's his name you should be whispering. He leans closer, causing you to sink deeper in the position you are in, fearing that if he dares touch you then your entire act will begin to deteriorate.

“Are you wearing the perfume I like?” he whispers “You are too cruel, Y/n” he opens his eyes and he scans every feature on your face, including your panicked eyes.

You don't open your mouth to speak a word, entranced by his dark auburn pupils, your mouth falls agape and your chest rises and falls at the same tune his does. It has always been so easy for you to fall back into Taehyung, regardless of how many times he came and went and though you grip onto the scraps of dignity you have left, you know today is no exception.

“Taehyung” you mumble, his name heavy on your tongue.

He leans in closer and his fingers lightly trail the exposed skin of your thigh, the tingling sensation causing you to flinch at the absent touch and contrary to what you want to believe, everything inside of you wants to lean into it.

“Look at you” he sighs “You look like a princess” he moves his lingering fingers closer to the lace of your white lingerie, his fingers tracing the intricate patterns there.

“Is this for him?” Taehyung hums, harshness pouring from his throat.

“Does he know?” he asks, his stare calling for yours “that when you fuck him you think of me?” he bites, coaxing a whimper to fall from your mouth.

“That when you stare into his face ever so lovingly that you imagine it's me and not him.”

“don’t” You shake your head, your hands reach forward to push him back but he doesn’t budge - a menacing expression on his face.

“Huh” he scoffs, a smile spreading across his cheeks “I guess he doesn’t.”

You remove your stare from him, your lips pressing together and you hate him, hate him for the way he is making you feel right now. You hate the way he has stepped back into your life as if nothing has changed like you have belonged to him this entire time - like he’s not an intruder.

“That's not true” you snap back “In fact, I don't think about you at all” your eyes filled with disdain traveling back to his.

Taehyung nods his head mockingly, feigning understanding but he doesn’t move from his position, his hand still brushing the skin of your upper thigh. He leans further in, burying his face into the nape of your neck, his nose brushing against the skin there - causing your breath to wedge itself ardently in your throat.

“When you lie your voice raises in pitch and your nose scrunches slightly and if it was anyone else they would probably miss it but I-” he pauses, his breath cascading over your skin, the sensation leaving shivers down your spine.

He raises his stare to your face once again, a small smile forming on his lips as he takes in your flushed cheeks.

“Don't you worry love the only person you have to lie to moving forward is my twin brother” Taehyung remarks, his slander pointer finger softly sliding down to your belly button.

“And yourself of course” he adds bitterly.

You had met Junseo first, he was reserved and quiet, often hiding away in his books. It was the reason why you realized only 3 months later that you both shared the same history class and that he sat next to you. In the beginning, it had been a mesh of small cordial smiles and polite hello’s and then eventually, you had both found yourself in thorough conversations where you dissected his knowledgable mind, meeting after class for coffee and ultimately sharing your first kiss in the university library.

It had been perfect, movie-like almost until one-day Junseo failed to attend class, and as a joke, his brother took his place. You hadn’t noticed it was Taehyung instead of your well-mannered boyfriend until your lips had met. The yearning on his lips as they collided with yours was unfamiliar yet exhilarating, it was as if 2 lovers had embraced each other after years of distance.

You couldn't accept it, not even when they both sat across from you whilst Junseo finally introduced him to you, all while Taehyung watched you intently, taking in the strain your nervous system went through as you tried to assimilate the information.

Wondering if you would tell his twin brother of the kiss you both had shared or of the other transgressions you partook in on your bedroom floor.

If you did, who could blame you? They were practically the same person but you didn’t then and you haven’t now.

“You will marry him and you’ll spend the rest of your life looking for me in him, in others in the hopes that they can replicate what only I can give you” his mouth parts, his tongue slipping out to lick along the skin of your neck causing your legs to clamp together and an unwarranted sigh to escape you.

“You’ll see my face reflected on every surface that you look onto seething for my presence but you’ll never find me” Taehyung glides his hand against your abdomen, softly and sleekly, becoming dangerously close to the part of you that aches for his attention.

“I can almost see it, Y/n an old and empty woman consoling herself with the idea that she did the right thing” he annunciates, his fingers slipping past your silk white thong and finding its place between your thighs, his fingers finding your clit as he trails kisses on your shoulder.

“Taehyung”

His name is meant to sound as a warning, as a sign for him to stop but it bellows out as a moan, liquid gold falling into his ears.

“What my love?” he hums, moving his face to meet yours - his mouth coming to capture yours which had remained agape.

His hand doesn’t stop, his fingers pressing onto your sensitive nub in circular motions whilst his tongue floods your mouth. His fingers move slowly against your warm drenched pearl, carving out each movement he knows you love, the ones he taught you made you climax in the blink of an eye and you become puddy under his touch, moaning against his mouth as he drives you closer to that euphoric senseless feeling you have craved for so long.

Taehyung pulls away from your lips, his tongue licking along your reddened plump lips, a hiss pouring out of his as he catches your blissful expression, the feeling of your juices covering his fingers enticing an animalistic desire inside of him.

“It feels good, doesn't it?” he groans, a question you can’t answer regardless if the answer sits on the tip of your tongue, you are breathless and completely wrecked.

The speed at which his fingers move increases, an evil smirk spreading across his face as his eyes darken with utter admiration. Taehyung has lusted for this moment for so long that now that he stands here, it feels surreal. In his mind he has replayed this scenario time after time, touching himself to the thought of watching you cum.

“Answer me” he pleads, his brows knitting in concentration - replicating the pleasure on your face. You nod quickly, your eyes fluttering shut whilst your body trembles. You try to remember what breathing feels like, try to find it within yourself to bring air into your lungs but your walls clench around his fingers and your mouth falls open - a trail of moans and whimpers cascading out of it.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” Taehyung hums, his tone innocent as if his words don't implicate anything like nothing matters and you wish that you could come back to your senses, it's wrong that he’s touching you like this and it's wrong that you are letting him. You wish that you could push him away and berate him but you want him everywhere, all at once and in this moment nothing matters, not even your morality.

Your body complies to his request with a loud whimper and within a second, his hand peels away from your throbbing cunt, his arms reaching behind your legs until they are wrapped around his waist. He moves towards the bed where he places your body on top of your wedding dress, the one you are supposed to be wearing at this moment whilst your expecting fiance waits for you at the altar.

You look up at him with lustful eyes, noting the veins that run through his hands as he removes his suit jacket, the dark blue fabric flying across the room.

“Fuck you look gorgeous” Taehyung mutters, biting onto his lower lip. His hand reaches for your cheek, caressing the skin softly - his thumb gliding against your lips until you part them, sucking it inside.

Your tongue twists around the digit causing him to moan out loudly.

“Im going to fuck you so good love” he promises.

He reaches to undo his belt buckle whilst bringing your body further up the bed until your head is almost at the headboard. He slides his belt off with a swift pull, his eyes beaming with ardor as he watches your willing body lay underneath his.

“Give me your hands” Taehyung instructs, a playful grin emerging on his face.

“I-i” you hesitate.

To do as told would be to be left under his devices, a victim to his rigorous plans and you know better, you ready yourself to decline because you shouldn’t be here in the first place and you know someone will be knocking on your door any minute now, concerned for your whereabouts but your body screams for his attention and so you oblige like Taehyung knows you will.

In a swift movement, your hands are tied to the headboard above you, the black leather of his Hermes belt pressed tightly against your wrist, you let out a small whimper and when you turn to face him once again, he’s standing at the end of the bed.

Taehyung eyes trace every inch of your skin as if it is the first time he has seen you in this light yet, it's not. He can give master classes on your naked body, and go on 3 hour rants of how to make you cum. He knows you, he knows it all.

You quiver slightly, begging for his attention and if it wasn’t for the heat that rises through your entire body, you’d probably feel pathetic.

“What's wrong love?” Taehyung coos.

“Taehyung” you whimper.

“Yes?”

He’s teasing you, luring you into saying what he’s been daydreaming of hearing for weeks now, ever since the invitation arrived in the mail. He couldn’t bring himself to accept it, it was always supposed to be him in Joseon’s place, he needed to be the one responsible for your happiness, not his charactless brother.

Him.

He wanted to hear you say that you chose him.

“Please” it’s a sigh, a breath you whisk out of your lungs as your body trembles in anticipation.

Taehyung unbuttons his shirt slowly, each button getting his utmost attention - his eyes never leaving your laying figure. He knows you are running out of time but Taehyung does not care to rush, in fact he will milk this moment for all it’s worth because if this is the last time that he gets to see you like this, whimpering his name then he will make sure neither of you forget it.

Besides, the way you lay tied to the bed, expecting his touch lures a heightened level of lust to spread inside of him, causing his heart to beat faster, for his hardened cock to press against his freshly ironed cashmere pants. He can't bring himself to think straight, not when you wait for him in your white-laced lingerie and the only thought that crosses his mind is of how good your warm walls will feel around his cock.

Taehyung drops the shirt from his shoulders, slowly crawling on top of you. His head lowers until his lips brush against your abdomen, leading your body to quiver at the feeling of his warm breaths cascading over your skin.

His slender hands grip your waist, carefully hooking his fingers around the waistband of your thong and with a swift movement they are gone, your lower body now exposed for his admiration.

The loud sound of your heart slamming against your chest is all that you can hear, the mere anticipation of what he will do leaving you breathless. You watch intently as he slowly parts your legs, his soft hands moving under your thighs - removing the weight from your body until your needy cunt is but inches away from his face.

Taehyung collects saliva on his tongue and he spits, covering your folds in his tepid saliva but he doesn't allow enough time for you to react as his tongue begins to slide against your cunt, licking as if your slit is a sweet delicacy.

You try to keep yourself from moaning out but the hiss that erupts from your mouth betrays you, accompanied by a trail of struggled breaths and soft moans.

He loses himself at the taste of you in his mouth, your juices spreading across his face and he can't deny the thrill the tremble of your legs causes him. He can't stop, savoring your wetness with each lick of his tongue.

The urge to run your fingers through his hair leaves you frustrated, your arms pulling on the restraints that halt your desired movements. You can feel it, the pressure in your lower abdomen. It drives your eyes to flutter shut and for your moans to become obstreperous.

His tongue focuses on your drooling hole whilst his nose rubs against your clit, the combination taking you to a complete state of euphoria. Your hands grip the leather of his belt harshly and your body begins to tremor, you are close - dangerously so.

Your hips buck against his face causing his grip on your ass to tighten as he tries to keep you in place but it's no use, your hips rotate against his tongue hungrily - your body seeking your sweet honeyed climax.

“Oh god,” you huff, struggling to catch your next breath.

“Yes.”

“yes right there, oh god.”

“Taehyung!” the scream that crawls out of your mouth sounds pained but it's far from it, it's a call for more, the need for his soft lips and warm mouth becoming ungovernable.

The blend of his saliva and your arousal flows past your thighs as you allow yourself to call out his name once more which only leads Taehyung to bury his face deeper into your willing cunt, his tongue moving in circles against your throbbing nub.

Your body stiffens with the next movement of his tongue, clamping your thighs against his head. A string of curses leave your lips as your climax overloads all your senses but Taehyung continues devouring your cunt, collecting your entire orgasm into his mouth.

“You taste amazing” he hums breathlessly, his tongue licking the residue of you from his lips.

You watch him through hooded eyes as he leaves open-mouth kisses on your inner thighs and then on your hips, his now disheveled strands of black hair lingering over his face.

You whimper out whilst his hands soothingly brush against the skin of your ass, bringing your lower body back onto the white duvet that covers the bed under you. His eyes meet yours, his utterly lust-darkened pupils contrasting with your worn-out gaze.

“Do you want more, love?” Taehyung asks “Think you can handle it?”

You nod despite knowing your body has not recovered from the high that has just rocked it, your breaths labored but your body presses for more. If your skin could speak it would divulge the way it has missed him, of the many nights it has spent seeking him.

A faint yes comes out of your lips and Taehyung kneels before you, bringing your legs around his waist. His hands slide against the skin of your inner thighs, easing the strain his tongue has left you.

He lowers his boxers, revealing his hardened tortured cock, which he alleviates with a few pumps from his hand. A soft groan falls from his lips as he looks down at you. From where he hovers in front of you, he takes in the beams of sweat forming on your skin, the way your chest rises and falls with every breath you take and the flush on your skin, the tincture a recalled memory of late nights in your dorm.

He lowers the tip, teasingly gliding it against your warm clit, and the throbbing there causes his whole body to quiver with the ache that has remained buried inside of him. Your body jolts in response and your breath hilts in your throat.

“You want me, love?” he chuckles lowly.

“Yes,” you exhale sharply.

A sly smirk forms on Taehyung’s lips and with a swift thrust he dips inside of you, vasting in the blissful sensation of your tight walls stretching out just for him. His hips move steadily, careful not to hurt you and before he can begin to move his entire length inside of you, you’re already a mess of whimpers and moans, the pulsations of his cock vibrating against your walls.

He’s bigger than you remember and when he finishes burying himself inside you can feel his cock brush against your lower abdomen, the pressure that forms there causing you to let out a loud moan. He waits patiently for you to adjust because all Taehyung has is time and the unreasonable need to turn you out.

“Look at you taking it all” Taehyung whispers, his eyes fixed on your bodies interlinked.

Your muscles ease and he begins his masterful strokes. Bringing his hips back and forth skillfully. His hand slid to your breast, guiding his thumb to draw out the movements of his hips on your nipples.

With each thrust your body quivers, your legs pressing around his waist. His other hand brings your hips up higher until your ass is on his lap, driving his cock to hit angles you didn't know existed.

“You may not miss me love, but your pussy says otherwise” Taehyung hums through groans “It takes me so well, like it was made for me.”

Your entire body shudders at his words, an overwhelming feeling of flusteredness coming over you. From his mouth, he spills a truth that you can’t deny, regardless of how much you’ve fought off the urge. He is the only one that you can allow yourself to lose with, the only man that can see all of you in this way.

Utterly vulnerable.

Your eyes study the pleasure in Taehyung’s expression as he plunges inside of you, it is pure satisfaction - his eyes closed and his eyebrows knitted in concentration as if he wants to engrave this in his memory. The sight alone causes your mound to quiver, for your core to drip around him.

“Fuck Y/n”

His hands keep you in place as he picks up the pace, pounding his cock into you quickly. The sound of your previous orgasm gliding on his thick member leaving a chorus of pleasure inside the bedroom, the sound bounces from the wall and erupts into every crevice in the room whilst you both moan in unison.

His movements are erratic and you can tell he’s close. Taehyung can feel himself losing restraint and all he wants is to fill you up with his cum, to witness your pretty cunt oozing with his nectar.

“Tae hah” you shriek, the faint burning sensation beginning to form on your lower belly once again, you can tell this climax will be more intense than the last, your legs beginning to tremble from where they remain wrapped around him.

“Just a little more, love” Taehyung exhales.

You let out a trail of curse words, coaxing him to bring his eyes to yours, the yearning in both your gazes amped by the snap of his hips.

The sounds of your intertwined moans are interrupted by a knock on the door and your body stiffens, your eyes widen in fear and you know you’ve run out of time - your guest waiting for your arrival.

“Y/n?” Brie’s voice is muffled by the door separating her and your naked bodies.

“Taehyung” You look back at him, panic in your tone but Taehyung does not appear to be startled by Brie’s abrupt return. It’s as if she’s not even there.

“Shhhh” he instructs, moving from his kneeling position and coming between your legs, his body lying on top of yours now.

“Don't worry” he whispers into your ear, his hand rising to brush away the strands of your hair that cling to your damp skin.

“Just focus on me” Taehyung moves himself inside once more. You look up to him, concern written all over your expression but the feeling of your incoming climax is all too overpowering. His tempo is cautious now, subsiding the alarm in your nerves, and you lose focus of the issue at hand.

It’s like it doesn’t matter but it should.

“I know you are close” he nods, leaving small kisses along your jawline “Let me make you cum one last time” Taehyung pleads.

This is wrong and you know it, a line has been crossed but your legs wrap themselves around him once again, the clear indication that you have no intentions of ending what has already been started. Taehyung’s lips find your neck as he continues - sliding his hands below your ass and bringing you closer, his kisses he leaves on your skin hot and passionate.

“I don't think she left” You can hear Brie’s worried voice once more but you try to drown her out, withholding a moan in your mouth in hopes that she doesn’t notice that you are still there.

“Answer her” he pants “before she calls someone to open the door.”

The thought hadn’t even crossed your mind but of course that would be her next course of action, given the state she had left you in when you asked for some alone time. You looked up at Taehyung, a curl forming against his lips as he stares down at you.

He’s enjoying this in ways you can't even understand.

You don’t think yourself capable of uttering a single word. The only thing coming from your mouth are bare moans and whimpers but you part your lips to speak, hoping Brie won’t catch the tremble in your voice.

“Brie” your voice quivers.

“Oh god Y/n! Are you okay?” Brie approaches the door, setting her ear against it in hopes that she can hear you better.

Taehyung takes this opportunity to move faster inside of you, the bed beginning to squeak against the force he implements with his hips. You look up at him quickly, a loud moan threatening to pour from you.

“Go on” Taehyung groans, his voice playful and excited.

“I-i am fine” you whimper, your wrists twisting against the restraint.

“Everyone is waiting for you” Brie pauses, looking up at the ceiling in desperation “Everyone is worried.”

“I” you begin but your climax has built too great for you to control, your entire body beginning to spasm as Taehyung withdraws his cock and slams back inside. Your eyes fall shut, unable to provide an answer to the concerned woman on the other side of the door.

“Y/n?”

“Fuck” you sigh loudly.

“Is everything okay? Do you need help with your dress?”

“Do you?” Taehyung laughs, his hand gripping your thigh as he too feels his climax nearing.

“Taehyung please” you beg, rolling your hips against his.

“What's wrong love?” he questions with a huff.

You know he needs to stop for you to concentrate but there isn’t any part of you in this moment that wants him to, not in the slightest. You open your mouth once again, trying to give Brie a coherent response but as it falls apart a loud moan escapes in its place, one that Taehyung capturs in his mouth as he places his lips over yours.

Your body begins to tense as your orgasm ripples inside of you, each loud moan being whisked away by Taehyung’s tongue and soon his muffled groans can be heard as his cock shoots strings of cum inside of you, the feeling of his warm milk causing goosebumps along your skin.

You both remain still, riding out the high that has blinded both your senses. Your chest chest’s rising and falling in unison, labored breaths fanning within each other faces. You can’t bring yourself to open your eyes. Afraid that if you do you will have to come back to reality or perhaps because you’d melt into Taehyung’s stare once more.

You feel the weight of his body ease and then with a swift pull, he unravels the belt that once had held your hands together, your wrists left sore from the harsh leather.

“Y/n” he calls for you, the sound of his soft tone bringing warmth to your body.

Your eyes open gently, your vision blurred until Taehyung’s auburn pupils come into focus and you cling to them, on the way their color fluctuate and blends into each other. Your weary gaze then trails to the almost undetectable mole that remains on his lower lash line, the one that you should’ve noticed the day you crossed paths. The small insignificant spot is the only thing that differentiates the two brothers.

Would it have mattered?

If you had known back then that it was Taehyung instead of Joseon, would you have pulled away from his kiss with distaste? The question that has tormented you for years rises above the surface, bringing forth a bitter feeling inside your chest.

Would it have changed anything?

“Run away with me” The words flow out of him effortlessly, with so much simplicity that you can’t even bring yourself to react to the proposition. Earnisty clads itself to his expression, his eyes holding within them pleads that he has been preparing to make for years.

“What?” you whisper.

“Come with me” he implores, his voice breaking as he extends his offer once again.

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afreakingdork · 8 months ago

Text

Deep Dive: Rise of the TMNT Donatello's Bad Boy Persona, His Cute, But Mean Type, and Why He is None of These Things

I made this presentation to delve into my take on Rise Donnie!

It was a power point, but I'm going to break it down here. I do want to preserve the first slide though because...

Did you know Black dahlia's aren't actually black? They're very dark red and in flower language they represent dishonesty!

Apropos, let's get into it...

Donnie is a Bad Liar

We see this throughout the show

“No? No… Of course I did… n't.”

"Uh, nothing. Just having a typical normal mystic free day."

"We are just typical, normal humans who got lost in the middle of our normal, everyday human lives. Nailed it."

"Oh man. Uh. This hurts me. Uh. I'm very sad?"

He has all the characteristics of a terrible liar. He sweats, his pitch warbles, his eyes dart, ect, everything you would expect.

Sarcasm! The Perfect Cover?

When Donnie does go for the use of sarcasm, he almost always points it out.

"I feel better already," he said without a hint of sarcasm."

"Oh, sure. Let me just load my tap-into-every-security-camera-in-New-York app. I'm sorry if that sounded like sarcasm, it wasn't. I am in."

Point Out the Obvious Much

However, when he doesn't point out the sarcasm, he also can't help but make mention of the oxymoron. We see this a lot, especially in Donnie vs. Witch Town.

"Oh yes very cool says Donnie as he quietly lets something go."

"Ooh, fireworks. Science never would have thought of something it was originally inventor of."

So basically, if Donnie tries to lie; he gives himself away. If Donnie tries to fudge the truth; he's compelled to make note of it.

I bring this all up to specifically tackle this sentence:

“So unfair. Although it is a boost for my emotionally unavailable bad boy image. “Y’ello.””

Why do I do so? Let me remind you of my first slide...

But how can that be? We just established that he's a bad liar. In the 'bad boy' line, he's not falling for any of his tells. He's body language gives no indication of lying. He doesn't make any note of sarcasm. No one after this line makes a face or corrects Donnie and he doesn't point out any discrepancies.

How could this be a lie?

Because Donnie himself doesn't know it's a lie.

Let Me Take You Back

Things I Did Unironically as a Teenager

Added Japanese honorifics to the end of my friends nicknames (-san, -chan, -kun)

Had my friends help me wrap myself up in caution tape for my birthday, but told people they made me

Wore a dog collar with a dog tag that had my name in Romanji on it

Had screen names like RubyBlueSango62 and blahweeblah626

But That’s Just Personal Experience!

Things Donnie has Unironically as a Teenager

"Ah, yes, so in this case a game of bask-eh-ball."

"Prepare to eateth thy words."

"Oh, hey guys. What’s the haps? Huh? Oh, oh this? I didn’t realize I had it on. This is my sweet new purple satin jacket- Got it from being a bit of a tech wiz. Purple Dragons. Members only. No big deal. Mm-hm. Well, you better grab some toast, fellas, 'cause you are all jelly!"

“It's Bootyyyshakker9000. Capital B and three Ys in booty.”

I believe it's a universal experience for teenagers to push boundaries. For so long, most parents decide everything for you. With hormones and growth, you want to experiment, but since autonomy is new, you try to break from the mold and do it uniquely. Anything that is outside your norm, especially things that swing wildly from what you once new seems especially exciting. From embellishing speech, to wearing specific clothing items, and even your first screen name, you don't know boundaries! It may be 'cringe' in the future, but when you first do it, it seems like the coolest thing ever! It's something that wholly represents you. This online space you. This you that is ungoverned! I'm an only child so I can't imagine, but I bet you especially want to do this when you have siblings. Where the shame in that?

I mean... Kat Haynes agrees with me on this...

Low Empathy

Now to get a little more serious. Alexithymia is a term that describes those who have difficulty feeling emotions. While not always associated with autism, it is more common in individuals with it. About 1 in 5 people who have autism also have alexithymia.

As already stated, it is clear the Donnie suffers from alexithymia. Most Donatello-centric conflicts in Rise have nothing to do with Donnie being emotionless and instead often deal with him lashing out due to his confusion or insecurities. We see this a lot especially in Witch Town where he is grappling with himself the entire episode. He's insecure about how he doesn't understand mysticism and he doesn't know how to process it or his place on the team. He's not emotionless, he's insecure when he doesn't understand something.

"Yes, feelings. Hot, cold, sleepy, hungry…"

"I don't normally feel things, but that one got through!"

Emotions on his Metaphorical Sleeve

Nothing about alexithymia says that you don't feel emotions. Instead, it's characterized by not understanding them. Donnie feels his emotions big and large just like Mikey does and especially if something is important to him, you'll see those reactions dialed up to eleven.

All Talk

While many think of the classic "semi-lethal" line and the "Speak for yourself" when Mikey says they aren't savages in regard to Donnie, he's not really the bad boy he plays himself up to be. When the theatrics are set aside, most of Donnie’s snap judgements are the altruistic kind or he thoughtfully plans out ways to not only take care of his family, but actively ensure their safety (to varying degrees of success, but that's not what we're saying here):

created devices which both counteracted his brother's flaws because they were getting them hurt

Used himself as a shield for Mikey on multiple occasions

Risks his own safety and bodily harm especially in Turtle-dega Nights: The Ballad of Rat Man and Breaking Purple

Builds Escape pods for everyone

Enters a sensory nightmare for the sake of the world

Often asks, especially Raph, if he's okay and looks out for the oldest brother

Yet the Presentation Continues?

Why yes, because there is another line of Donnie's that I want to tackle that I believe falls exactly in line with the 'bad boy image' one...

"Oh, you’re so cute, but so mean. Why do I always go for your type?"

You know what I'm about to posit again...

Insecure

As touched on previously, Donnie is insecure. He's insecure about his emotions. He's insecure about his place on the team. He's insecure about anything he doesn't understand and his insecurities are exceedingly personal in nature because he ties them intrinsically to his personality.

"The real thing is much more personal and thoughtful, and I really hope you like it, ‘cause if you don’t I will just be crushed!"

"This’ll teach you to compliment my work and give me my first positive reinforcement from a parent aged adult, ever!"

Speaking of parent aged adults... i wonder where this could stem from...

Role Model

Who do all the turtles model themselves after, but their own father? Whether they knew it or not, Lou Jitsu was someone they all strived to be like. They commited to learning all the lines from his movies. They fought like him outside of the training course Splinter sets them on. Heck, Donnie takes his hero worship so far that his character defining brows are exactly Lou Jitsu's! Babies start learning how to establish social and emotional relationships around 18 months. We have Splinter, a despondent, but loving care giver who unfortunately did not give Donnie the validation he craved. This manifests in his insecurities where he bends over backwards to get the attention he craves. He wants to be seen, again compounded by having three rowdy mutant-powered brothers, and so he ends up tying his worth into his ability.

Now, while for a majority of the series, the turtles don't know about Splinter's past or that he dated Big Mama, but it wasn't as if Splinter hid that part of himself away so obviously. In fact, because he himself is still mourning his lost humanity, he ends up feeding his son's a hardy diet of his life's existence. The boys are secondarily raised by Lou Jitsu movies in place where Splinter is not always present. Obviously, Lou Jitsu seemingly disappears, but Splinter's feelings on the matter don't. He openly still cares about Big Mama in the present and this I don't think it's a stretch to say that he would let these feelings leak in a similar way to how he presents Lou Jitsu in the boys lives. Big Mama is a attractive, albeit manipulative woman. This is awfully close to a little line someone says, especially when we consider that he models himself after this man.

Also, if we're taking models into account. Something we know for a fact shapes teenagers. Something we know for a fact that Donnie does. Something that is equally canonized in the show, then we have to talk about.

Donnie’s True Canonical Idol

That's right. You know her. You love her. You believe that Donnie is a thigh man because of this Lass' existence. Donnie says flat out that Atomic Lass is his childhood idol. He goes to great lengths to dance with her, smashing Leo out of the way. He then even goes so far as to ask if her and Atomic Lad have split up because his intention to date her is so clear. Now she was obviously a mutant in a costume, but that didn't matter because he loves Atomic Lass that much and Atomic Lass?

She's a heroine.

Only cute and mean in the context of the episode, this is not the Lass he fell in love with. The Lass he loves is a comic book hero that travels the universe doing good.

Also....

Ron Corcillo Agrees With Me

A staff writer on Rise, I apologize I can't show the origin tweet because it was deleted, but it was a dual question that asked both about the Turtles meeting Spider-man and about Donnie's preference. Now you could say he's forgotten a line that may not be as important to him, but doesn't that in and of itself say something? It says that it could have been a one-off joke or that it wasn't something that was necessarily intrinsic to the character.

To Recap:

Donnie doesn’t always know himself

Donnie is a cringey teen

Donnie is insecure

Donnie has difficulty understanding emotions and himself

Donnie isn’t actually an 'emotionally unavailable bad boy'

Donnie doesn’t actually like the ‘mean’ type