#no idea what truth-relate gimmick the A gods I remember could have

[thebrazilianfan]

this is not a hot take but I really hope aa7 doesn't get new prosecutors. bring back eustace, franziska klavier. bring godot/diego armando post prison and post counseling. I don't know, we have a lot of prosecutors already. let's use some of them

although, we could get a female prosecutor besides franziska. that would be very nice

[lordmartiya]

lord Martiya’s Lilanette Week 2021, part 4: Travel

@lilanette-week

@lilanette

This chapter features Luupa the Wolf Kwami, a character by StellarStylus. It also features an actual restaurant from Rome. Let’s face it: we Italians are a weird nation, and Rome is our capital for a reason.

06/23: Travel

The school was having a trip to Rome… So headmaster Damocles had asked Lila’s advice to plan certain parts, reasoning that, being from Rome, she knew the place better. And the entire school would suffer for his ignorance – after all, only Marinette and Chloè knew just how trolling Lila’s sense of humor could be.

Still, it had been two days in the trip, enough to calm them down after waiting for the other shoe to drop without anything weird happening – she had even forewarned everyone of the horrible state of Rome’s roads, and the worst they had got had been when Sabrina had said one couldn’t go to Rome without visiting the Vatican and the Roman girl had pointed out it’s the same as saying that you can’t go at someone’s house without going to the bathroom (she had particularly enjoyed the appalled shouts when they had got that). That and trying to flirt with Marinette, but while she understood the language and even a bit of the slang courtesy of her grandmother and the similarities of Italian and French she didn’t know the latter enough and had missed the double meanings.

Of course all of that was about to change now that they were to dine at “Cencio La Parolaccia”.

“It’s my favorite restaurant.” she had introduced it, much to Marinette and Chloè’s horror. Especially Marinette’s, who could translate the restaurant’s name.

Then Damocles paved the way, and as soon as he had confirmed they were the French school that had reserved the place the waiter announced them with “Apprepara l’acqua per’ brodo, so’ arrivati i Francesi!”

The entire group of students and teachers was appalled at how they had indirectly been called a bunch of cowards, with insults to their national bird to boot.

“What were you expecting? This place is called “the swearword” for a reason.” Lila stated.

Or, in other words, they were basically paying to get insulted the whole time, as per the restaurant’s gimmick based on just how crass Rome’s dialect was.

“You’re terrible.” Marinette said at her Italian suitor.

“Welcome to Rome, where a mother can call her own child a “son of a whore” and it only comes off as mildly insistent.” Lila replied.

“Fucking truth.” confirmed the waiter.

That was when Damocles realized he had screwed up. Especially as it was now too late to go somewhere else.

__________

“You have no idea what I just got through.” Chat Noir said to the female superheroines as they met near Trajan’s Column. “It got my group too weirded out to notice I disappeared, but…”

“Welcome to Rome, Paris’ exclusive twin city.” Volpina replied, sure that whatever Chat Noir had gone through couldn’t be as traumatic as the prank she had pulled on her classmates to get them to go to sleep early. She’d have done that anyway, but this way she had joined the useful and the fun, as the saying went. “And don’t worry, you’ll get over it soon.”

“But-”

“She’s right.” Ladybug agreed. “Our cities have an exclusive twinship because we aren’t that different… And I can already see the fun about what this one pulled to get us a distraction. You all remember what we’re here for?”

“Wolf Miraculous – apparently linked to Rome’s foundation and rise to power, and the guys here are now exposing what could well be it in their museum.” Volpina stated. “Guess their claim of descending from Julius Caesar’s family isn’t that fake, if they inherited it from the Julii’s cousins the Romilii…”

“We don’t have time for a history lesson.” Chat said.

Before they could start bickering Ladybug had Volpina cast her Mirage on the cameras and then, using the Horse Miraculous, opened a portal to the room where the possible Wolf Miraculous was being held…

“A’nfame, chi cazzo chiami inutile?! Io te piscio n’culo, e te corco!”

And the related Kwami was insulting Papillon, going so deep in his vulgarity that even Volpina, the Roman one, was blushing. Immediately imitated by two security guards and a man who had arrived there.

“Siam qui apposta.” Volpina said after the Kwami had wished someone killed Papillon.

Then Papillon threw the Miraculous right in Volpina’s face and jumped out of the window, ignoring the guards shooting him.

___________________

“Well, that was weird.” Ladybug said after they had left with the Miraculous, that the man, the apparent head of the family, had insisted they took away.

“Not really, Marcanto’ has heard of the actual stories about jinn, and while he can’t tell the difference with a Kwami he’s smart enough to not mess with them.” Volpina explained. “And speaking of our not-jinni… May we know your name and power, Wolf Kwami?”

“I am Luupa, Kwami of Cooperation, and I grant the power of Pack Unity.” the Kwami replied. “My wielder can allow their companion the best possible coordination in battle-”

“Like a Roman legion! You inspired them!” Volpina was Italian, and while she knew the tales were a bit exaggerated she knew far too well how the ancient Romans used to overcome numerically superior opponents through maneuvers made possible by excellent coordination among their units.

“And a power Papillon can’t use!” Ladybug noted.

“Ugh! Don’t talk me about that idiot.” Luupa protested. “Seriously, what idiot calls himself “The Bowtie”?”

As she chuckled, Volpina mused that this was indeed the Kwami that made Rome, both ancient and present, she wondered how he and Mayura had loved the temporary Heroine they had left behind to deal with Akumas and, if he had done as he had back when they had been in New York, distraction Sentimonsters.

_____________________

The following morning, Lila hadn’t even got her Espresso when Alya made the first attempt to kidnap her. Though even she wasn’t reckless enough to not stop when faced with the Italian’s glare, waiting until she had her coffee before dragging her in a secluded corner and showing how the Tiger Miraculous-equipped heroine, Waghoba sor Roaar, kicked into smithereens the Gamer mech Sentimonster before hammily announcing her name and that Ladybug and Chat Noir were on vacation and had her substitute.

“Lila, you’re her friend… Can you tell me what was Ladybug thinking when she gave my sister a Miraculous?” Alya asked.

“What makes you think it’s Anansi?” Lila asked back, making sure to use Nora’s preferred ring name.

“A Muay Thai championess who uses a tiger god’s name, who else can she be?”

“Point. As for your question… Ladybug’s really stressed, and didn’t take well when “The Bowtie” ruined her previous attempt at getting a vacation.”

“… Remind me to never get her angry at me.”

[duhragonball]

Out of This World

I forgot the third thing I wanted to bring up in the Potpourri post, but it finally came back to me, so I want to talk about it here: the forgettable late 80′s sitcom “Out of This World”.  

There were a lot of dumbass sitcoms in the 80′s.    It still seems surreal to me that society seems to have moved past this, but in the 1980s there seemed to be absolutely no reason not to do a comedy about a family or group of co-workers dealing with some high-concept absurdity.    “ALF” is the one everyone remembers, which I guess is a testament to the ALF character, but there were plenty of other, goofier ideas floating around out there.   For example, “Small Wonder” was about a family where the dad built an android child and they just sort of rolled with it, I guess.    I think part of the trouble was that the sitcom formula had already gotten stale by the mid-80′s, to the point where your pitch almost had to have a gimmick to get a second look.  

And, you know, Mr. Ed was from the early 60′s, so it’s not like high concept was anything new, but I’m pretty sure there weren’t fifty other “talking animal” sitcoms running through the same decade.   In the 80′s, it was like the TV industry considered “My Favorite Martian” a genre in and of itself, and the trick was to find some new twist on it.  

For “Out of This World”, the hook was that the dad, Troy, is an alien, but he’s never actually around because he got drafted to fight some war in outer space.  The show is actually about his half-human daughter, Evie, who develops some of her father’s super powers once she turns 13.  I only remember seeing a handful of episodes, but mostly it was about the girl getting into wacky sitcom hijinks, usually causing a problem with her powers and then using her powers to fix it.   In every episode she’d talk to her dad on the space radio and everyone would learn an important lesson about, I don’t know, let’s say friendship.    .  

I’m watching the pilot as I write this, because I want to make sure I get this right, and man is it awful.    Evie’s uncle is in this, and he knows the secret, but his main purpose on this show is to be the butt of every fat joke the writers had on file.   Evie’s mom is anxious about Evie developing powers, and the uncle is worried that she’ll accidentally transform herself into a lizard.   Instead, she accidentally stops time for everyone else, which forces mom to tell the truth.    This is downright painful to watch, because Evie’s the only kid in 1987 who doesn’t seem to know or care about space aliens, because that’s the only way to drag out the reveal.    Once it finally sinks in, she gets upset and shouts “Then that means I’m... half-creature!”

Oh my gosh, they actually make an ALF reference in this show!   Evie’s mom has to convince Evie that dad looked like a regular-ass person, or else they wouldn’t have married and conceived her.   “Look, kiddo, do you really think I’d bump uglies with just any alien?   Your dad was a snack.” This is really awkward and dumb.  I gotta give credit to the other actors in this, because they spend most of this episode frozen in place while they work out this timestop thing.    

The problem in the pilot is that Evie can stop time and unfreeze people by touching them, but she can’t touch all of her party guests one by one without exposing her secret, so they don’t know what to do.    Her Uncle Beano (ugh) suggests using the Vulcan hand gesture, which... I’ll get to that in a second.   Her mom finally remembers that dad left a special present for Evie for her 13th birthday, and it contains this glowy crystal that functions as the space radio I mentioned earlier.   Troy is voice-acted by Burt Renyolds, which is extremely goofy once you know that, and he doesn’t actually tell them what to do.   Then Evie just gets a sudden urge to do the exact thing that fixes it, and I guess the moral is that all of this power stuff will come naturally?

The real appeal to all of this, at least for me, is this idea that Evie can finally connect to a father she’s never known, and bond with him over something they have in common.     Anything that makes her seem strange or alone can be written up to her being half-Anterean, and her dad can instantly relate.   It seems kind of cruel that they made her wait 13 years to use the space radio, but there’s some sort of genetic link thing that makes it work, and I get the impression that the technology requires her to reach that age before it’ll work properly.    The whole thing feels really contrived, but there’s this really touching concept at its core, if you’re willing to wade through sitcom cliches and insipid one-liners to find it. 

What always bugged me about this show, though, was that I only liked it for the alien lore and the drama that went with it.    I wanted to know more about Troy and the war he was fighting, and this Antarean culture that he only ever hinted at.   I liked the idea of the Evie character, caught between two worlds and not entirely comfortable in either.   But the show was never serious about exploring any of that, and the alien stuff was always window dressing for weak comedy “laffs”.   Or it was used as a metaphor for puberty, which always irritates me when shows do that.    I also hate the micro-aggressions that keep coming up in this show.   Some character will make a pop culture reference to aliens and that just bugs me.    Look, Beano, Mr. Spock is a fictional character, what your niece is going through is really happening so at least try not to be a dick about it.

The episode that I remember the most is the one where Evie decides to break the “no-telling” rule and reveals her secret heritage to her friend, who immediately blabs it to everyone, and before you know it, the government tries to capture her for dissection.    At one point, Troy even says that he might have to come back to Earth just to intervene, but then Evie’s mom betrays them... and it turns out it was all a dream.   Another dumb one, but I liked the idea of more people knowing the truth about Evie.  It made the premise feel more real. 

The thing that never made any sense to me was that Evie seemed to have immense powers over time and matter, and the implication was that Troy and everyone else on his world had even greater powers, so what was going on up in space that could threaten the Antereans for over thirteen years?   I doubt that ever came up much, since it would probably be a downer.  Everyone treated Troy’s off-world duties as an inconvenience, but if his side lost the war than Earth would probably be doomed somehow, right?   Really, the whole concept feels more like some sort of Greek mythology, with Troy as a benevolent god who impregnates a mortal.    There’s a running theme that Evie has to use her powers wisely in order to earn new ones, like the whole show is some sort of trial she has to pass.   Apparently the show ended on a cliffhanger, but I’d like to believe that the true ending would involve Evie saving the day and earning the mark of an Antarean adult: a Burt Renyolds mustache.

[hoaxesanddeceptions]

The Humbuggery

   The Oxford English Dictionary defines a humbug as “a thing which is not really what it pretends to be; an imposture, a deception, fraud, sham.” This definition gives the factual meaning of the term without the social connotations; a humbug is typically socially acceptable because it is a deception for entertainment purposes rather than that of ill-intent. The idea of a humbug can be seen in many modes of modern life and entertainment such as reality television or holiday celebrations. The century-old tradition of a jolly, fat man in a red suit who brings gifts once a year is nothing but a sham for the purpose of entertainment and tradition, and a budding romance amidst a competition-reality television show (that promptly ends once filming is over) is more than likely a deception produced to boost the popularity of the show and entertainment of the viewers. It is important to strike a pleasing balance between factual and fraudulent content in the production of entertainment. The audience could become offended or put off by overproduction of falsities, yet could also be deterred by any overbearing or encapsulating realities. Entertainment is used as a means to escape reality in a way that is deemed worthwhile or significant while having no risks to the audience.

   While humbugs can be seen as gimmicks solely used for the publicity or longevity of an event or happening, they can also convey underlying import regarding certain issues or topics. Relating to Barnum’s Joice Heth exhibit, the racial implications of the created spectacle are hard for contemporary audiences to overlook. 

   The ideal created history of Heth is grounded in many racial stereotypes. Perhaps audiences would not have felt any sense of truth without these racial foundations in which they could pinpoint a sense of familiarity in their own minds. The false history of Heth is a perfect melding of truth and fiction; the “otherness” of Heth felt truthful while the absurd age felt ridiculous. Moreover, Barnum played into both sides of entertainment during his run of the exhibit. In the Joice Heth promotional materials on pages 106 to 107, the believability of the exhibit was relying on the familiarity of racial stereotypes:

When I first remember Aunt Joice, as we called her, she was totally blind and   unable to work, which must have been fifty-five years ago. It was always understood that Joice was the nurse of George Washington, and slave to his father. She is very religious and honest, and I believe the most implicit confidence may be put in her word, for nothing in my opinion would tempt her to utter a falsehood.

The idea of a slave remaining blindly faithful to their master and God for a hundred years is nothing but propaganda for the exhibit. In modern minds, the idea of a faithful, docile slave is uncomfortable and, frankly, difficult to fathom (much like a 106-year-old woman to Barnum’s contemporary audiences); however, the minds of Barnum’s audiences had a closer mental-step to those racial ideas already. In this way, Barnum played into a believable reality while simultaneously planting fantastical falsities in a pleasing balance for an entertainment that allowed the audiences to escape the reality of everyday life to see a part of American history or to gawk at a wrinkled mound of flesh. Regardless of the truth of the exhibit, the audiences were entertained by an elaborate humbug that did not cause any obvious or serious harm to the producers or viewers.