#no icon because I literally went to my locker to grab my laptop to cut and post this real quick

[scientistredacted]

frozenfischer​:

Gaster’s admission had Alex frowning, and her hand crossed the remaining space to gently rest on his shoulder, trying to impart at least some sense of comfort and grounding, or so she hoped.

“… Sometimes…” She began, struggling to find the proper words for what she wanted to say. “Sometimes… change can be hard to accept. Particularly if you feel you’ve been… left behind, in a sense.”

Shaking her head, Alex looked back up to Gaster, offering him a wan smile. “But then again… there’s a lot in your life that you never really got closure on, right? And sometimes, turning the page on an unfinished chapter in your life can feel more bittersweet than fulfilling. But that makes it no less important.”

“After all, you can’t move on to a new chapter if the old one remains unfinished, right?” She gently pointed out. “And you still have your whole life ahead of you. Better to greet the future, than cling to the past. And who knows. Maybe you’ll find some closure in just the act of letting go.”

Taking a deep breath, Alex stepped forward, giving Gaster a tentative hug. “Come on. Let’s head back inside. After that kind of a trip I’m sure you’re exhausted. You couldn’t have gotten much sleep, and somehow I doubt you packed anything to eat when you went on your little journey.”

Alex gave Gaster a crooked smile, releasing him so she didn’t make him feel uncomfortable, even if she would have rather held on at least a little longer, to assure herself that he was here and in one piece.

Her touch is instantly grounding, and Gaster exhales slightly in relief. She’s here, and he’s here. He’s not just watching this through the haze of void, not interacting without actually being here.

This is real.

He wants very much to hold that hand, but he resists that urge, and fidgets with the end of his scarf to keep his hands busy.

Left behind. He didn’t even have to actually say it. She just… knew. She has a remarkable way of figuring out how he feels before he could even begin to articulate it.

❝THE LACK OF CLOSURE IN MY LIFE,❞ he mutters bitterly, ❝DIDN’T EXACTLY START WITH THE VOID. THERE’S SO MUCH I’LL NEVER REALLY KNOW ABOUT FROM THE WAR…❞

Then again, did he ever move on past the war? While he managed to recontextualize Alex’s status as a mage to his feelings (he DID know kind mages in the past too; Asgore’s friend and…), and has managed to keep anxiety at work over being surrounded by so many humans to a minimum … has he ever left that tense, frightened mindset it instilled in him? Did he ever stop grieving what was?

❝I DON’T THINK IM VERY GOOD AT LETTING GO.❞

The hug is a surprise, but one that he returns gratefully and immediately. He tries not to show his disappointment as she quickly pulls back, remarking on how tired he must be.

❝I DON’T KNOW THAT I SLEPT MORE THAN AN HOUR BEFORE…❞ he trails off, ❝I’M NOT REALLY FEELING IT YET THOUGH…GONE MUCH LONGER WITHOUT ANY…❞

He’s not even trying to make excuses this time. He’s still reorienting himself with feeling like this is real, and he’s all too used to being sleep deprived. So whilst he objectively knows he’s in dire need of some rest, it’s not registering for the way he feels.

More than rest, more than something to eat, Gaster just wants to hold onto Alex and not let her go until every trace of the way the void makes him feel is gone.

He follows her inside, nervously fiddling with his scarf again.

❝I GUESS I SHOULD HAVE JUST WOKEN YOU UP AFTER ALL,❞ he says attempting some levity, but a slight tremble to his voice gives his remaining… whatever this feeling is away, ❝IT WAS A VOID NIGHTMARE; I HADN’T WANTED TO DISTURB YOU, SO I WENT ON A WALK INSTEAD…❞