#no i do not care what you think about a 20 year old romantic comedy set at christmas kim people are dying

[andy-clutterbuck]

Love Actually | 2003

[billowingangel]

Welcome ✧

I've been into hetalia since 2016 and for a while I tried to pretend I didn't like it....And I'm tired of living that lie! So I'm back to thinking, loving, obsessing, and writing about Hetalia.

I also block very freely and I'd rather people be 18+ to interact (since occasionally I may post nsfw/nsft which I will always tag)

I'm currently working on a few fanfictions which you can find on AO3 and FF.net

My favorite character is Canada 🍁 And I ship him with pretty much anyone...and I mean anyone...If that makes you uncomfortable please feel free to block this blog or the tags associated with ships you are uncomfortable with. I may at times reblog problematic ships, I'll add tags for the ship and a cw for the problematic element of the ship. Please take care of your mental health and curate your online space to what is best for you ♡ ˎˊ˗

more information below the canada picture

Wow, you clicked continue reading so here's more annoying stuff about me and this blog (^_^)

I spam reblog, mostly fanart (so many in this fandom are so talented!) and miscellaneous things (memes, random shit, writing tips, etc).

I'll occasionally post some of my own fanfictions (drabbles or links to them)

I also will post my rambling silly thoughts. I have decided to let myself loose and be as annoying authentic as possible here.

Also I will do my best to tag content/trigger warnings but I may forget (memory of a goldfish) so if I do please let me know

Here are some tags I use on this blog to organize (still working on what tags to use) ᯓ★

#art reblog ( ˘͈ ᵕ ˘͈♡): self explanatory

#hetalia fanart ✨: reblogs of hetalia fanart

#canon tbh: posts that I see as accurate to character's personalities, how I perceive them, and how I think they'd act

#hetalia fanfiction:

#hetalia meme:

#positivity: posts and reblogs that are positiive

#misc: posts that are surprisingly not related to hetalia

#me core: reblogs that I really relate to

#fanfic imagine: imagining a fanfiction and maybe i'll write or finish the idea

#fanfic in progress: my thoughts during the process of writing fanfiction, debating whether I should do this or that, talking about what I plan to do, blah blah

#my fanfic: fanfiction that I have written, usually a link to ao3 but may also be to ff.net

I also mostly tag hetalia characters as hws so if you look up hws canada (for example) you'll be able to see all posts about that character

Some of my favorite posts of mine ┈─★

Now more about me which is why you're reading this (I'm just kidding)

Call me angel or anything really I don't care what I'm called (ᐢ. ̫ .ᐢ)

Also please feel free to message me!! I love talking to people but I get a bit hestitant about initiating. My discord is billowingangel if you want to talk there!

I'm 20 years old and I go by she/her pronouns and I'm a lesbian I love me some boobs what can I say ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I may be a raging homosexual but I'm also a raging hetaliansexual (joke), I am attracted to so many fictional male characters and shockingly a ton of them are from hetalia (shoot me dead)

I love hetalia if that isn't obvious, it's on my brain a probably disturbing amount what can I say I'm mentally ill. I also like other anime (demon slayer <333, jujutsu kaisen, the witch and the beast, parasyte, etc), doctor who (so happy there's a new season), yuri manga!!, and other shit. I love horrors and thrillers! I rarely watch romantic comedies but I love reading romance in fanfiction ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I'm working on my own book (probably my 20th book) but I'm hoping to actually finish this one.

I am also working on multiple fanfictions: red means it's completed

off the grid: canada slightly snaps and goes on vacation lol

???:idk what to call it, america, england, and france are all fighting for canada's love and he's oblivious

unhealthy obsession: another country becomes obsessed with canada

Falling for Canada: multiple rarepair oneshots with Canada

My first omegaverse 0.0

a really stupid horror drabble that I posted

amecan week 2024

And I believe that's it~ Maybe I'll add my favorite ships

[mays-simping-for-leona]

ENG twst fandom VS AR twst fandom (since im in both)

I have been a fan of twst since 2021, and I have been talking to Arabs and English people about the game and sharing their opinions and conversations over the past 3 years, so I would like to make a quick comparison in terms of the advantages and disadvantages that I saw in each fandom, i don't know why im making this but yeah why not? let's talk shit about everyone

eng are more in headcanons and scenarios, way giving a lot of damn time and making accounts only for twst and glaze the game and characters all the time, while arabs doesn't really put a lot of effort and spend time to write and make accounts for the game.. arabs will usually prefer to read what the eng fandom writes on tumblr and x

The ages of the eng fandom surprised me, like not just surprised me, i was traumatized, most of you guys are over 20 and may even reach 30. I have not yet seen any twst writer who is minor. I think I am the only minor here💀Usually, the Arab fandom is between 14 and 20 years old. I only saw one thirty-something Arab woman who liked twst

I don't know what gender is common in the English fandom because many here use they/them, but the Arab fandom is all girls, without any exaggeration. I have not seen any man posting about the game in middle east

not sorry - most of the ENG fandom are looking for romance or NSFW, the Arab fandom hate this very much and prefer to read comedic headcanons or ones that show a beautiful brotherly relationship between the characters without yaoi..arabs are also looking for more action and excitement in the story than what I saw in the English fandom

Regarding Yaoi, the Arabs will cancel you immediately if you dare to make the characters gay or bisexual, and will beat you up if you ship them with anything other than female oc/persona

Arabs are not very simps as I saw, all the ones I saw liked the characters who seemed soft and nice, contrary to what I expected..The most likable character was Kalim, and other nice and cute characters are preferred, unlike the eng fandom who are looking for masculine strong daddy men, leona for example is the most hated character and arabs doesn't care wether he is handsome or not they just hate him, they like malleus, jamil, kalim, vil, all professors in general, heartslabyul in general

Arabs have many great ideas for headcanons and scenarios, action comedy bloody scenarios, even when they write romance it is just so cute and simple like little kisses on cheeks (they don't write kissing scenarios actually they think it is horny for some reason). Contrary to what I saw on Tumblr, most of the writings are romantic or short comedies. I have never seen anyone enjoy discussing “how will twst characters die” except Arabs😭

The English fandom has more professional artists, while the Arabs almost do not have any artists, neither on Instagram nor on Twitter or Tumblr. You will only find artists in Insta groups who prefer to keep their work private and not post it

I have not seen any Arab yet who loves a character in twst in an 18+ way or imagines inappropriate things. Perhaps will find them barking a bit because of Leona's muscles or that Malleus is handsome, but I have not seen anything more than this. Arab fandom is very clean and does not contain any kind of obscene content, unlike the eng content wich i really don't like how everyone just thinks about the characters with thirst

The reactions, oh my God, when the Arab fandom shows them something you wrote, a theory, or a drawing, no matter how trivial or unprofessional, they will write full paragraphs of praise for you, dozens of comments, and voice messages explaining why they think your work is wonderful or just screaming in the voices, While I am surprised by the English fandom here, most of them give limited responses, i saw a post has 10,000 likes but 0 comments. For Arabs, the situation is exactly the opposite: 0 likes and hundreds of comments

In general, I have no final opinion, which is better? They are both good in my opinion. Every fandom has its advantages and disadvantages. Frankly, I like that in Arab fandom they think in a more ethical way and provide content for all ages. Minors can talk to thirty-somethings without any worry or fear that a bad or immoral discussion will occur between individuals, but the game is... It is not popular in the Middle East, although I am sure it would be very wonderful if an Arabic translation was available, as the Arab fandom is very active and mostly young people, and they will love the game because it does not contain content that violates the religious and societal customs and traditions of the Arabs.. The number of fans is limited and the lack of content and speakers about the game makes it difficult to find people who share your opinion about the game or talk about the characters all the time with you. Twst content in general in the Middle East is not successful because the game is not well known

While the English fandom is very active and there are many people willing to interact with it, you can find people like you and talk to them, a lot of artists and writers, hundreds of blogs and memes, you can post and interact, have mutuals easily (and i was genuinely surprised how my account was easily getting likes and having followers so easily, unlike when i tried to do it in the arabic fandom) But personally, I am a person who is inclined towards sfw content and I do not like the amount of horny people out there simping for minor characters in a wrong way..i just can't accept the ships i see here, how everyone is making the characters gay when they are not, how i see Pedophilia of leona x cheka or idia x ortho (guys im not joking i swear i saw that) and other shitty things like writing out of character, making my guys look like dom perverts while they're all so sweet and kind (except floyd😍) and also shipping brothers and siblings (jamil x najma??? leona x farena??? hello????? are you guys ok???) this made me sick to my stomach and i just feel like throwing myself from the nearest building whenever i see such a thing, i can only tolerate straight and normal ships without any weird things

I would like to say that I am not sorry for anything I said, whether in Arabic or English fandom, i like to say my opinion openly and im open for any criticism, if there's something im wrong about tell me in the comments (talk in good manner please ^^)

[mygeekcorner]

eight shows to get to know me. allegedly.

Tagged by @silversoulstardust

Babe what does this even mean??? What do you mean “get to know me”?? Shows that are the reason that I am the way I am?? That make people watch them and then go “yeah this explains so much about you”? Blorbos I project too hard on?? The vibes? The core memories??? The quoteability?? Which ones make me scream out loud the most?? What does it all mean?? You already follow my blog, you know which shows I'm obsessed with, but what shows do even give insight into anything besides what I like in stories??

But uh yeah. My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic. Easy pick. Whatever reasoning you want from the potential meanings of this tag game up there, it has it. The first three seasons are so good! Though I did drop it when Twlight became an alicorn, that just felt too much toy-selling show to me personally, same with equestria girls. But like I grew up watching old school MLP (G1), and I adored it. Then I reach 20 and suddenly FiM (G4 for those keeping track) comes out and it is such a gigantic blast from the past and damn if I didn't get hooves over head from the start. I was obsessed. I was one of the “mods are asleep, post ponies” people. And the way they fucking based Pinkie Pie on me? Like right down to the Pinkamena rock farm backstory? Scary stuff right there I’m tellinng you. 

But 7 other shows to pick?

Monarch of the Glen is an old show, and I will admit that I haven’t Really watched it since I was in school but it has stayed in the back of my mind since I was like 10 so. I never cared for the main couple, as characters they are fine but even back then it felt like a “oh yeah, here’s two pretty people from opposite genders (and social status) and so we have to make them get together” which was Not what the show was about To Me! But just all the other interpersonal relationships? The parents romantic relationship? Top notch.  The struggle of trying to please your parents but still doing your own thing? Trying to find out what that thing is? It does never get old. Also I had the biggest crush on Duncan and that does tell you so much about my type still lol

Galavant released the trailer and at first glance everyone already knew it was a very Me show. I’m not sure what it says about me, but it fits me very well. With the sense of humour, disney references, bursting into unprompted song, wanting to dress like a ren fair character, horseback riding, daring sword fights. A prince in disguise! I mean what. I don’t project on anyone super hard, but I do vibe like crazy to the whole thing, and the soundtrack is a banger that never truly leaves my brain.

Scrubs might just look like the silly little doctor comedy show, and it is! But it also has SO MUCH heart and I just love the lessons it comes with. Again, it’s been a hot minute since I watched it so I won’t vouch for how well the humour has aged, but that was never the point of the show either. The point of the show was watching people care about each other in all different kinds of relationships and so many of the more heartfelt exchanges still live in my soul even now. Like that time JD went to the “evil lab guy” everyone was scared of because he didn’t want his patient to have what the results said they did and the lab guy asked “do you Think I made a mistake or do you Hope I did?” and JD just said “I’m kinda hoping you did” and the whole scene softened and lab guy did the test again. I don’t know, that scene has lived rent-free in my mind for like 20 years whenever I hope things aren’t as bad as they seem, hoping that some higher power lab guy will take pity on me and say they mixed some tests up.

Malcolm in the middle is again just that silly chaotic show from when we were kids - sibling edition - but again it just has so much heart and I don’t know. Watching it again as an adult, yes sure, it has aged, but the big bits stay the same. How the parents Chose each other every day. How the kids might beat each other up with bricks but wouldn’t hesitate to turn to arson if anybody else tried to do the same to their brothers? Yes, it means a lot and even though I might not have “learned” as much from it as Scrubs, it still resonates with me about how growing up felt.

Until We Meet Again because at my heart I am a hopeless romantic who wants to believe in soulmates. It’s a pretty recent show in general, and I only watched it a year ago, but it felt like it understood me more than I understood it, so it is on this list anyway. But I will always hope that if someone meant enough to you and you meant enough to them you Will find your way back to each other, in this life or the next. Not saying this show didn’t absolutely destroy me, I spent 3 hours just crying and shaking after the first episode, and I think I spent a majority of the show being a dehydrated little blob, but it was so worth it. To watch both timelines fall in love and choose each other? To watch the modern timeline have friends and be happy among more than just each other? Everything I could have asked for. 12/10. For real.

Not sure what Goblin has to say about me. We’re all depressed and deserve a good cry and a hug? I guess it means that there is always hope for things to get better, in some way. Even if it doesn’t come about as you thought it would, or when you hoped. But there is always someone out there who cares about you, whether or not you know they do.

I can’t believe I almost forgot about Black Books! Fran is me and I will turn into Fran if bf ever does leave me rip. For real. I even used to have a marriage pact with a friend who was just like Bernard that stated if we both reach our 40s and are single we can be drunk and miserable together. So many of these moments get referenced on a daily basis in our home, everything from how “on no accounts must they know the real you!” to the Cleaner. Yes, if you watch this show it will explain so much about me. (Please don’t do that)

Okay, yeah. This only took like 4 days to complete lmao. Might have taken it a bit more serious than intended, but the theme of the game is just to wide and I didn’t only want “these are the shows I’m currently obsessing over” cause yall already follow me and know which ones those are.

Anyway to pass this on - and feel free to not take it as deadly serious as I did unless you are so inclined - I am now tagging @krippe90 @jacquelinesrumbottle @hobbitsus @imaginarydragonling @tbiris @ablazenqueen @topcatnikki @7nessasaryevils @wanderingwistfulness @happygomadhatter @nevergonnafallfor @genderfluid-faerie-bf and anybody else who might want to play

Edit: added links to the shows~~

[waitingformyfavoritesongs]

1:46 am pdt 2 April 2023 Sunday Domingo nicheyoubi 🌤

1:47 am pdt www.gq. Com/story/Adam-Levine

it’s closer to the end of the article than the top dated June 24, 2014 Jessica pressler tony Kelly

“There’s the carnal shit you can’t deny. [...] There was a time in my life when I lived probably a bit more on the primal level. And it was amazing.”

auto saved 1:52 am pdt I think Bcz I’ve been touched by other men I don’t think he would have wanted me once I lost my virginity when I was 19 years old. 1:53 am pdt

2:23 am pdt I wish Q never came in to my life. I only kept seeing her Bcz she was acceptable to my mom and I thought she liked me and was nice. I even said at a Denny’s? Or ihop? That she’s the nicest person in the world. 2:25 am pdt she said we’re best friends or that I’m her best friend but she never told me who she who she had s*x with. That’s basically a standard in movies like romantic comedies that you tell your best friend what you did with who. If she couldn’t tell me then she was lying. 2:27 am pdt I figured that out this moment. 2:28 am pdt

2:30 am pdt I never forced her to tell me anything and there were questions online that she left unanswered. It’s like she’s a shark in my eyes smirking that I’m blind to what was happening infront of me. That she was actually mocking me infront of my face and online with enlarging my head in pictures she took. 2:32 am pdt If she was so bold to fake liking me and do stuff to hurt me while I was trying to like her and be happy with her... I wish I could have felt more with the friends I had before I met her. I wish I didn’t feel like a fraud Bcz I was too shy to say a lot. The friends I had b4 her weren’t perfect but I think they were maybe more open to me than she was? 2:35 am pdt which is ironic Bcz I felt too imperfect so I withheld a lot of thoughts and feelings . I was in a shell.. makes me think of turtles. I don’t know. That music is my boyfriend line bothers me and a lot of other stuff. It looks like I’m not going to see the day when people from this earth start going to the new planet I heard about that is like this earth but bigger. 2:39 am pdt if there are already people there with housing already there waiting for people to arrive wouldn’t that be a surprise? 2:40 am pdt

2:59 am pdt I don’t feel much like trying to recover anymore. I am tired. 3 am pdt I wish I was somebody’s somebody. 🎶🎼🎵🎤🎸

3:03 am pdt matchmaker matchmaker find me find catch me a catch 🎸🎵🎼🎤 3:04 am pdt

3:06 am pdt I don’t appreciate you lying (pain 3:07 am pdt forehead) to me. Chop off my head now, incubus. 3:07 am pdt 3:08 am pdt

3:18 am pdt I guess he forgives Nick carter. (Tummy upset gurgle diarrhea 3:18 am pdt) I guess he thinks he did not do anything wrong and deserves to be forgiven. And women need to just suck it up. 3:20 am pdt I don’t think it is ever going to change. 3:20 am pdt I don’t feel like trying anymore. 3:21 am pdt

3:24 am pdt my clock skipped a minute. Q probably set me up to be a sacrifice. I don’t think Q helped me at all. I suffered a lot. I don’t think Q knows pain at all. 3:26 am pdt I think Q is lying and faking everything is music is her husband. 3:26 am pdt who did I have phone s*x with? I think after I moved out end of 2018, Brendan lean’s MySpace profile picture was removed. 3:29 am pdt there was one day that his MySpace was public and I saw he had an older sister named Catherine? 3:30 am pdt

3:53 am pdt incubus protects rapists Bcz he relates to them and cuts down his victims. I guess you have to be a woman to understand how violated someone can feel that you have possibly been forcibly impregnated at a time you’re not ready to be. To have someone trespass without caring about your feelings. And then they don’t want to make amends and worse. Incubus enables them to hide it. If you like that sort of man I guess the whole world is stuck with incubus. 3:58 am pdt am I the only one trying to do something? And I’m suffering to take down incubus? If incubus is incubus then that whole thing I seemed to have picked up, that idea that only bad things happen to bad people, can you really say that when incubus is your god? How about I don’t say anything anymore. Nick carter gets away with rape and murder and so does incubus (left shoulder pain 4 am pdt) me and Shannon Ruth die. And guess whose left with Nick carter and incubus? That’s right, you are. And if he’s still got libido and muscle and power do you think you won’t be next? Maybe he likes guys, too, or little boys. 4:02 am pdt

4:06 am pdt Q wrote on her Flickr she doesn’t fight crime. If her focus was only me the entire time, I believe it. 4:07 am pdt don’t count on Q to REALLY sacrifice anything? If she really stole art ideas from me like I suspect that’s pretty low considering she had enough money to go to many concerts including Coachella. 4:09 am pdt don’t count on Q to be a hero. 4:09 am pdt yeah I think I will stop doing stuff Bcz I’m dying anyway. So why help other people get arid of a problem they don’t deserve to be helped with? You treasure Nick carter more. So have fun! Okay? Okay! 4:10 am pdt pain left shin. I will go do whatever I want that’s on my bucket list which is probably edited now to watching as many movies as I can while at this hotel. 4:11 am pdt don’t cry to me when incubus + friends devirginize your relatives. 4:12 am pdt

5:41 left shin pain difficulty breathing pain tongue. Fox News last night? Was saying a lot of people are committing suicide Bcz of stuff on social media. If they’re purely victims and incubus is god, do you think incubus is going to save them? He is the devil? A hungry lion ? He’s looking for sacrifices, but he keeps guys like Nick carter Bcz they share a lot in common? 5:44 am pdt incubus would make me depressed too if I think about him for several minutes at a time. 5:44 am pdt

5:45 am pdt in 2017 ? There was stuff online saying maroon 5 fans are ... I forgot but I remember it was a little disturbing? Unflattering? Like they lack a sense of what sounds good probably Bcz incubus for a long time gave a lot of (left nostril pain 5:46 am pdt) below standard performances. And I can say this unbiased. Bcz it was during a time I gave him benefit of the doubt and tried to like him. And I’m trying to smile and like it but I start to feel crazy trying to like what I hear. When I watch and listen, I’m like, this is really bad. 5:48 am pdt

6:03 am pdt I am in misery there ain’t no body who can comfort me. 🎵🎸🎼🎤 i formerly liked the sounds of that song. I guess I’m a da*ned vine. Bcz my name means rose and lily. Some flowers 🌹🌸💐🌺🌷🌻 grow from vines. I’m d*mned. Dams are like big bath tubs. 6:06 am pdt he’s killing my heart again. 6:07 am pdt it’s hot in the center and my right side. 6:07 am pdt

7:43 am pdt incubus is still hurting my ribs Bcz he likes it when people are crying in pain especially women. I think he’s trying to reduce my rib cage size to crush my internal organs. 7:45 am pdt

2:16 pmpdt if the earth is expiring it’s ok if he leaves me here to die. 2:17 pmpdt

2:44 pmpdt I don’t want his unethical ass near me and I don’t want Q’s unethical lazy ass near me. 2:45 pmpdt

[farlynthordens]

criticism of the writing of bisco & pawoo’s relationship and ways it could have been improved. CONTAINS MAJOR PLOT SPOILERS UP TO VOL 7

this is not “boo straight people 🤢” or anything like that because i legitimately believe it COULD be good, but it’s done so bad in canon that it makes it difficult to enjoy their relationship. especially the writing of pawoo’s character in particular

Pawoo’s age is never revealed

we never learn how old pawoo is and this irked me from the very beginning. all we know is that she’s older than milo. I got weirded out by pawoo coming on to bisco in volume 1 because.... my guy was only 17. if pawoo was older than like 20 (which I personally believe she was) it would make things really weird/creepy and I’d rather their relationship just have never happened in this case (or not happen til much later). BUT assuming the age gap isn’t weird...

Pawoo & Bisco’s marriage happens against his will

Bisco is blindfolded and led into a room under the assumption that something different is happening. he doesn’t know he’s getting married until the vows are already said. also, the wedding happened at pawoo’s request because it was essentially her “final wish” before she planned to die in battle.

it’s a SUPER contrived way to put them together, especially because bisco barely even likes pawoo as a person yet. it only works out because bisco starts liking her a couple years later.

the marriage was half for comedic effect and half a bizarre plot to trick apollo.... but then they just decided to keep being married? tho honestly, this scene could have added a lot more comedy for later on if at the end of vol 3 when pawoo doesn’t die, she doubled back on her request like “oh... well. haha, sorry for making you do all that for me, let’s get divorced/pretend that never happened.” i think that would VASTLY improve the situation and be way funnier. ESPECIALLY when bisco starts liking her romantically, there could have been some jokes about re-falling for your ex or something. this would also have solved the issues stemming from...

Bisco stays married to her out of an arbitrary sense of duty

there’s nothing wrong with loving your wife. the problem is bisco DOESN’T love his wife for first like 2 or 3 years they’re together. he never considers leaving her, because the logic presented is that he’s now her legal husband, so he has a moral obligation to be nice and protect her forever because that’s his duty whether he signed up for it or not. this isn’t completely out of line with bisco’s character, but the author keeps bringing this up over and over unnecessarily and, once again, it feels very contrived. it’s like bisco is forcing himself to like her.

despite his supposed moral obligations, bisco and pawoo barely interact for the majority of vol 4 thru 6 (over a year!!!). the one time pawoo tags along on a trip (beginning of vol 4), bisco treats her like a nuisance for most of it. in vol 7 we learn that bisco has purposely tried to keep her at a distance in order to not interfere with her life/put her in needless danger, but that just feels like another reason they shouldn’t have been together yet?

Them being married adds nothing story-wise for multiple volumes

considering that pawoo is irrelevant to the plot of 4+5 and is brainwashed for all of 6, them being married adds nothing to the story there. had they NOT been married, it would’ve made the ending of 6 much more impactful when pawoo says she loves him and bisco admits he likes her too - they could’ve had a true reconciliation of their relationship and try to start rebuilding up to what they had accidentally forced themselves into in vol 3, rather than it feeling like “oh fucking finally, they like each other so now their marriage isn’t weird.”

i don’t think that removing the marriage would completely remove their ability to care about each other. if nothing else, pawoo is milo’s precious older sister and bisco is milo’s beloved partner. pawoo keeps imihama safe and bisco is trying to save the country from rust. plus they’ve fought together and helped each other out a lot in the past. they still have many reasons to want to jump in when the other is in danger.

Pawoo’s “character development”

put in quotes because she doesn’t get a lot beyond what we see of her in volume 1. pawoo is talked about A LOT in vol 7, but almost solely thru the perspective of what bisco is thinking about her - how he’s assumed what’s good for her life, etc - we’re not actually seeing pawoo herself.

her whole thing is that she’s ridiculously strong and hardheaded, but then she falls for bisco. in addition to the (potential) age gap problem, pawoo is also a bit... creepy? in how she approaches him sometimes. like she kisses him against his will (a problem with multiple other female characters as well), when bisco is turned into a literal child (vol 5) she comments that she’ll love him regardless of age.......??

the only development pawoo gets is THROUGH her relationship with him - discussed in some more detail in a previous post here. TLDR, we learn that pawoo does have a soft/caring side and she wants to become a good wife. there’s very little to learn about her outside of that. there are villains and minor characters who have far more depth or canonically noted personality traits than she does.

I honestly would love if more time was spent on pawoo as an individual. we get less backstory for the nekoyanagis than pretty much anyone else, but at least milo has a lot of personality and a huge character arc over the entire series. i really want to know about her and milo’s childhood especially - what was it like for her to lose her parents at a young age and have to take care of an infant brother? is that why she was so overprotective of him, because she knows what the loss of immediate family feels like? how/why did she come to be the leader of the imihama watch? did she have to make sacrifices to send milo to school and give him a better life than what she could afford for herself? what sort of things does she like to do? it’s hinted that she likes fashion and makeup, so is that something she’d pursue more if she had the time? how does she feel now that she’s separated from milo most of the time? does she trust in him a lot more than she used to?

pawoo COULD have so much to her if questions like the above were ever addressed, but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i don’t even really mind that pawoo was absent from the main adventures in vols 2/4/5 since i’m not sure what she could’ve added. but it would’ve been cool to see more of her doing her own thing, especially if we saw more of her fighting, or moments building out her relationships with tirol and jabi, since they’re together in imihama a lot but we barely see their interactions. it’s not like the series is alien to the concept of throwing in chapters that interrupt the main plot progression.

HOW TO FIX THIS

I listed some of my ideas above, but to summarize things:

Vol 1: bisco/milo are made older, or pawoo is given an age that wouldn’t make things creepy

Pawoo doesn’t forcefully kiss bisco in front of milo’s damn face when she already knows he likes him. but there’s some signs that she’s into bisco too

More hints are given when she’s present in vol 2-beginning of 3

Vol 2: probably a good place to put the nekoyanagis backstory? since in this vol pawoo is still pretty protective of milo, so that could lead to a conversation where bisco asks him why she’s like that and then we get ~sad lore dump~. it would also help bisco come to respect/understand her more as a person.

Vol 3: bisco and pawoo get married to fulfill pawoo’s final wish. after the battle, when everyone is alive and well, she decides to annul the marriage and pretend it didn’t happen. she was supposed to take this fantasy to her grave, but now it’s a huge awkward point she has to remember every time she looks at her crush

Post-divorce, there’s plenty of jokes from milo or others about “getting back with your ex” etc anytime bisco and pawoo have a civil moment or one of them talks positively about the other.

Vol 4-5: character building moments where we see what pawoo and tirol are up to in imihama

Vol 5: remove the “i’ll love you regardless of age” comment please that’s literally it

Vol 6: the whole thing with pawoo being brainwashed, but still being able to break through the brainwashing due to her love for bisco, could stay exactly the same and still work. it would show how her feelings for him never went away and have really only intensified. when bisco saves her and they admit they like/love each other, they’re able to reevaluate their relationship. maybe they can try being a couple for real...?

Vol 7: we get to learn pawoo’s feelings of isolation FROM HER DIRECTLY and not through bisco’s interpretation of her thoughts. i want her to show that she is craving adventure and desperate to leave imihama.

it might even be good if at the beginning, pawoo and bisco have an argument that mirrors youkan/geppei where she gets angry at him for assuming what she wants.

End of vol 7: the trio runs away to live their best lives. both pawoo AND milo get married (unofficially because they all pissed off the government) to bisco? 😳😳

[life-rewritten]

THE GIANTS OF THAI BL 2020 AKA SHOWS STEALING MY HEART IN NOVEMBER

UPDATE AND UPCOMING ANALYSIS NOVEMBER 2020

It's the moment I've been waiting for since the excruciating silence of Thai BLS during the lockdown. It's November, the month of thanksgivings, the month of pre-Christmas jitters, nanowrimo and the month that has finally made me realise we are so close to ending this godforsaken year. Still, most of all, November means that we are getting buttloads of shows that are about to take my breath away. This year has been such an exciting year for BLS because of the increasingly amount of companies and directors willing to produce and release different types of BLS. In this list, we have awaited sequels, delicious plotlines and shocking comebacks. But most of all we have lots and lots of romance and men. Which of these have you been waiting for? Let me know. Let's squeal about it. November is going to be so great!

Ratings: From 1 to 5 (1 being least excited to watch, 5 being most,) how excited am I to delve into these shows?

Shows already airing

1.I TOLD SUNSET ABOUT YOU/ INTERPRET, MY LOVE, WITH YOUR HEART

Genre/Themes: Romance, Melodrama, Coming of Age, Angst, Drama, Childhood friendship

Country: Thailand

Verdict: So finally I rise from the memories of poorly produced bls, and pains of bad acting, and toxic writings, and traumas of stiff actors and homophobic agendas to finally say that without a doubt. Nadao has produced another masterpiece after my other favourite (Non) BL; Greater Man academy. Nadao stuns me, and for a very long time, I couldn't understand that this was how everyone was feeling, one because I wasn't fully educated or in the know about the company, I only saw tv shows in Thailand that were produced by GMMTV and to be honest I didn't think there was anything else above that standard in shows apart from Lakorns and Movies. (I know Sacrebleu) Getting to know and watch Nadao shows has been an experience, and for BL, I am hooked and ready for what else they have to offer. The only qualms that prevent me from gushing about the show are how international fans are treated. It took me a very long time to forgive ITSAY for its subbing platform (and price range), and that's why I refused to watch it with positive feelings. After episode 2 though, I'd be a fool to hold on to resentment when there is no doubt that this BL (despite not knowing if it's a sad ending. I'd hate if it is but it wouldn't change anything) is the best BL of this year. With ridiculous, incredible production, outstanding breathtaking cinematography, beautiful and talented actors and writing so good it blows me away. Episode 2 left my heart in pieces, but in a good way, I haven't recovered from the angst.

Ratings: 4.5/5 Would have been a 5/5 if the pricing made sense but also I'm terrified about a sad ending which I won't be too happy about.

2. FRIEND FOREVER/ OUR LOVE IS SICK

Genre/Themes: Romance, Music, Coming of Age, Angst, Drama, Childhood friendship, Rich vs poor,  Bullying 

Country: Thailand

Verdict: It's a pity this show is not available for international fans. Because I think people would actually love this show the way I do. It's so precious, reminds me so much of my first ever BL Lovesick (made by the same production team so makes sense) but better. What can I say about this show, really adorable cast, actually so good on the screen, great chemistry, and good storylines that keep me hooked. I am so in love with surprisingly one of my favourite couples this year Tin and Sea. I have such a great time watching this show, and I enjoy also analysing and just piecing together some of the mysteries in the show. It's been so good so far, and I can't wait for more. The first episodes are a little slow-paced, but it gets better as you keep watching it. I'd advise you to watch the director's cut because that has all of the storylines in the episode instead of the tv version which is more censored and has a lot of deleted scenes that mess with the flow of the storyline. Still, one of my favourite Thai shows right now. 

Ratings: 4/5  I think 4/5 is a fair score just because of some confusion when trying to watch it internationally and getting the right version and I do think the story feels like a whiplash between the different styles of writing of the main two couples. Go watch this though if you haven't, dm me and I'll show you how. 

NON-THAI

3. GAYA SA PELIKULA

Genre/Themes: Romance, Drama, Comedy, Angst, LGBTQ+ Education, Contract relationship, Haters to lovers

Country: Philippines 

Verdict: Normally with verdicts, I have so much to say about a show, also when I analyse I can write essays and essays of information. When it comes to this show, I'm speechless. I'm in awe; I'm crying just even trying to explain how great this show is. How great Fridays are because of this show. How upsetting and damaged I am when the end of the episode occurs, I literally mourn waiting for the next episode the next week because it's too long. This show pulls you in, and it never lets you go. I'm mindblown by the writing of this show, mindblown by the acting, by the production, music, but most of all I have become a mess because of this meta in this show. I have cried so much because of how much I care about this show, the characters are all fleshed out, are so powerfully written, and emotionally tugs at your heartstrings whilst still educating and representing LGBTQ community fantastically. I don't know what we did to deserve a show like this. Maybe its because after years of waiting for something to finally show up and just be unproblematic and be so great with no questions, no confusions, no struggle, this show is just that. And I will be forever thankful to the whole team that brought this to us

Ratings: 5/5 I would give this more than 5 if I could. That's how much this show means to me. 

4. CHERRY MAGIC 

Genre/Themes: Romance, Comedy, Supernatural, Office drama, Slice of Life

Country: Japan

Verdict: Kurosawa and Adachi. That's it. That's the reason for the 5/5 stars when it comes to watching this show. First of all, I like Japanese romantic comedy shows, and anime, and manga. So seeing cherry magic come to life as this amazing form of that makes me so happy. Typically with Japanese BL, everything feels so serious sometimes, and then sometimes it feels too crazy and over the top. But Cherry Magic just feels like a warm hug when you watch it; you can't help your self but to smile and giggle at Adachi's adventures realising that he can read minds because he's a virgin at 30 years old. To add to that, he is given Kurosowa this incredible, amazing, wonderful non-toxic man who absolutely adores him and unconditionally is there for him. I just like what? Where do I get my own Kurosawa? Like it just feels so unfair haha. But really cherry magic is full of great acting, fantastic plot and unique as well. Every character is also written well, and all have interesting dynamics. We also have another side couple who is so funny and ridiculous but also just cute and heartwarming. I have a great time watching this show and the fact that it's ending on Christmas day? Already tells you what this show is, a gift and its a great one. 

Ratings: 5/5 I want my own Kurosawa. That's it. That's all I want Universe.

Shows Upcoming

5. THARNTYPE 7 YEARS OF LOVE

Genre/Themes: Romance, Drama, Comedy,  Mature, LGBTQ+ Representation, Internalised homophobia, Sequel

Country: Thailand

Verdict: This is a complicated show to gush about. First of all TharnType, the series in 2019 was one of my favourite shows that brought me back to this BL thing. I absolutely adore all the actors, and I also loved the storyline like I said before there's something about Mame's writing that I appreciate, I think most of her strengths is found in TharnType. Because of this, this sequel is one of my most anticipated show this year. However, I feel conflicted because I hate sequels. I hate couples having to go through the weird-ass, shallow, conflicts that just end up ruining the meaning of their previous show and leaves me with a bad taste in my mouth about the couple I once loved (Looking at you Together with me the next chapter still traumatised honestly). Enough of the negatives, Tharn and Type from the trailer looks like it's going to be a wild ride, I can even see the great chemistry that made me fall for MewGulf, and I'm so excited to see the new couples and characters. I also am so excited to see TECHNO again and laugh with him every Friday. We also know that the awaited wedding between our couple is also going to be in this show. And that's going to make me bawl like a baby. Let's hope we don't have too many toxic or troublesome storylines, let's hope we don't have too many breakups and fights (because that hurts so much seeing Mew cry) and let's hope we finally have a sequel that is better than its predecessor. 

Ratings: 4.5/5  This is how I feel about it, I don't think I can rate it as 5/5 because of all the worry and anxiety at what the storyline entails—still a great show to look forward to. 

6. MANNER OF DEATH

Genre/Themes: Romance, Crime, Mature, Angst, Drama, Mystery, Thriller, Haters to Lovers

Country: Thailand

Verdict: Think about it. Why wouldn't this be number one on everyone's list of upcoming BLS? We have the return of one of the best actors in this genre MaxTul the actual godfathers of Thai BL; we have an incredible team here with a director that has won multiple awards, with a storyline that is unique to Thai BL, we're getting crime, detective, mystery BL with mature characters who are not in university? As if that's not enough, we also have a really incredible plotline about this forensic doctor who falls in love with someone who we are not sure if we should trust because he could be a murderer! Like oooh yes please, the drama, the angst, the thrill?? I'm ready for this; I am so prepared to give my whole heart and attention on this show. I want it to be so good, to defeat the shows of 2019 that came and took our hearts away, to be the best BL ever. It's so difficult not to raise my expectations when it comes to this show when I know we have a great cast, great chemistry, non-stiff acting, and just a really non-toxic author as well. I look forward to this so much. Only issue/question? Where is the trailer? Hello WETV, where is our teaser? Why don't we know the date for when this is coming out? I want it out now. But I'll try and be patient okay? 

Ratings: 5/5 I can't think of how this show won't be good. And that's really worrying. But for now, I'll keep my expectations high and wait.

7. TONHON CHONTALEE 

Genre/Themes: Romance, Coming of Age, Angst, Comedy, Childhood friendship, GMMTV

Country: Thailand

Verdict: Podd and KHAOTHUNG, (my sun, my heart, my favourite person ever) Sorry just gushing over my two faves. GMMTV has shocked me this year with the announcement of this show. First of all, Khao gets to have a show where he's the main lead. I've been waiting for this, and I'm so proud and excited for him. Not only that obviously, but TonTonChontalee looks really good with a vibe of a  comedic spin to one of my favourite shows Theory of love. I am ready to see Podd act so stupid as Ton and at the same time sob when he finally realises that Chon is the one. I'm so ready to see Khao act his socks off, and the show looks so funny, so fun and just like the chemistry between two is definitely a winner. I cannot wait for this next Friday. And it also has Mike and Toptap! What's not to love? Seriously though I'm praying this is successful, and it helps both Podd and Khao to dominate GMMTV. Let's find out next Friday.

Ratings: 5/5 For Podd and Khaothung. Just worth the rating.

8. GEN Y THE SERIES

Genre/Themes: Romance, Drama, Comedy, Angst, 2moons Fanfiction, Haters to Lovers

Country: Thailand

Verdict: First of all 2 MOONS Reunion! What?? Very shocked to see this show tbh one because it's like a direct copy of 2moons the series; the same cast, the weird alternations to the same name, the same kind of plot as well. Channel 3 has finally decided to invest in BLs,  one of the biggest companies in Thailand, so the budget is high, the actors are known and famous, the production is good. This is so exciting to see. Also, 2moons was one of my favourite past BLs the whole time it was airing, and I had a massive affinity for Kimmon and Copter, so it's great to see them play their characters again but with a better budget and now glow up and grown. Their acting seems to have improved, Kit and Ming's storyline being the main focus is also really lovely to see. I also love seeing Bas and the other actors from other Bl series (The Moment actors) and I'm excited to know more about the new cast as well. So yeh this show has a great potential to win my heart as well, and the competition is not easy at all. But with a great company behind them and an exciting premise, this can also be a winner. 

Ratings: 4/5 I'm intrigued by this show, and I look forward to seeing what it brings.

November is such an exciting month for someone like me who just loves watching tv and analysing and just seeing romance bloom. These couples, stories and actors have a great potential to be the best things of 2020 so far, each of these shows holds evidence that they're worth paying attention to and honestly I've missed seeing Thai BLs that make me so excited so much. I've missed these actors, I've loved each and every one of them, and I can't wait to see them this month on my screen. What about you, guys? What do you look forward to? Who are your favourites? What are you worried about when it comes to these comebacks. Let's discuss.

[dangermousie]

2020 End of Year Post - kdrama edition

You can find my 2020 cdrama post here: dangermousie.tumblr.com/post/638449659546845184/2020-end-of-year-post-cdrama-edition

This is only going to cover kdramas that aired in 2020; if it originally aired another year, it’s not on this list.

It’s been a pretty lackluster kdrama year. There are probably only 5 kdramas I truly loved and only three of them I was really obsessed over. Better luck in 2021!

DRAMAS WATCHED

(In order of liking from least to most as opposed to pure quality; I am including if I’ve seen enough to make up my mind; yes I realize that’s inaccurate, but that’s my list)

42 Born Again - so bad, so incoherent, so insane, I have no idea why the leads signed up for it (and unlike some of the other watchers, I think it was awful from the very start.) There is literally nothing about this drama that makes sense.

41 Love with Flaws - a bunch of people who should be tried under the Geneva Convention.

40 Sweet Munchies - Jung Il Woo proves his inability to pick a functional script.

39 Meow the Secret Boy - if you ever wanted to bang a cat, this drama is for you. Not being a furry, however...

38 Do Do Sol Sol La Sol - I lost braincells just typing out this title.

37 When I Was the Most Beautiful - the only way it’s not the dumbest, most pointless melo of 2020 is because Born Again considerately came out the same year.

36 Woman of 9.9 Billion - if you want to watch an artsy French movie about miserable people, but only badly made, boy do I have a drama for you.

35 Lies after Lies - screams after screams.

34 Backstreet Rookie - people were up in arms about various problematic plots. I am a survivor of many plots much more problematic but even I couldn’t survive how utterly boring and annoying this drama was and how utterly irritating the leads were. This has taken Ji Chang Wook off my top favorites into “should I even check his latest Lovestruck in the City? Probably not” territory almost single-handedly (Melt Me helped, to be fair.)

33 Men Are Men - boring is boring.

32 Dinner Mate - two beautiful boring people eat out a lot.

31 Was It Love - no it wasn’t.

30 Alice - Joo Won in the shower can make up for a multitude of sins but not plot nonsense of such magnitude. When you find yourself thinking it would be better if he hooked up with the alternate universe version of his mother because at least then something entertaining would happen, you know it’s bad.

29 More than Friends - started out OK, then made me hate basically everyone and kept going.

28 Start-Up - honestly, it’s probably more decent than its place here, but the toxic and batshit fandom for it (the worst this year) made me feel like breaking out in hives any time it’s even mentioned.

27 The Spies who Loved Me - how to take a good cast and waste it.

26 Private Lives - it was good but it never took off with its concept and spent more time on the incoherent plot than the OTP which was its one strength. It’s a decent drama but coming after Heartless City and My Beautiful Bride from the same writer, it’s a disappointment.

25 Record of Youth - as high as it is due to Park Bo Gum hard carrying this entire awful drama on his shoulders and doing it so well I finished it. Alas, while he is in one drama (and that drama is great), the rest of the characters and the entirety of the script are a pointless useless mess.

24 Do You Like Brahms - excellent first third, mediocre middle, and terrible last third. I don’t know what musical term applies to this? Diminuendo, I think.

23 I’ll Go to You When the Weather is Nice - nice and mellow but nothing much happens.

22 Forest - mainly for Park Hae Jin’s excellent and frequently naked bod.

21 The Ballot - I didn’t love it as much as everyone did but it was well-made.

20 Hyena - more romance and less weird law stuff would make it better.

19 365 Repeat the Year - surprisingly solid.

18 The Game Towards Zero - see 365.

17 When My Love Blooms - very old fashioned, very lovely.

16 Chocolate - also very old fashioned and very lovely but also with Yoon Kye Sang performing medical procedures bleeding and shirtless. MMM.

15 (tie) Secret Royal Inspector - a fun if run of the mill sageuk.

15 Find Me In Your Memory - best melo this year.

14 Mystic Pop Up Bar - surprisingly good even though I wasn’t planning to check it out.

13 Where Your Eyes Linger - came out of nowhere but was tender and hopeful and lovely.

12 Itaewon Class - Park Seo Joon hard carries a drama that is already excellent. Love it.

11 Psychopath Diary - Yoon Shi Yoon is such a treat in a hilarious, cynical, dark comedy.

10 Kairos - more like ouroboros.

9 Queen Love and War - in a year where sageuks are very rare, this was solid and surprisingly moving and shippy.

8 The King Eternal Monarch - people didn’t like it but I did. It’s no masterpiece and both the leads and the writers have better dramas, but it was a lovely romantic fairy tale for me.

7 Mr. Queen - sharp, hilarious, and some of my favorite actors.

6 Psycho But It’s OK - healing, sharp cinematography and even sharper chemistry.

5 Crash Landing on You - the last ep pissed me off so much this drama is dead to me but I loved it so much until then I can’t place it lower in good conscience.

4 Train - who knew I would go this hard for an OCN drama or that OCN would do romance so well? But this time-travel mystery romance is just incredible and I shipped the OTP and rooted for the characters and loved every last bit of it.

3 Run On - this is the drama Record of Youth wanted to be but failed. Smart and lived in, you feel like you are peeking at real people, but also even four episodes in, I am so invested in the main characters separately and together, and care for them so much, it’s a little frightening.

1 (tie) Tale of the Nine Tailed - my perfect fantasy romance. I liked it better than Goblin, yeah I said it.

1 Flower of Evil - all the tropes I love in one incredible package. I would rewatch episodes waiting for new ones trying to puzzle the story and to stay withdrawal but it works just as well on rewatch. Lee Jun Ki brings his trademark tortured intensity and for once, both his leading lady and his script back him up and are worthy of that. It’s perfect.

FAVORITE DRAMA

It’s a tie between Tale of the Nine Tailed and Flower of Evil but if I had to pick just one, FoE, because it had me seriously obsessed and guessing about the protagonist and gave me the narrative tropes I love so much and an OTP that statisfied all my hurt/comfort kinks and then some.

WORST DRAMA

Born Again - honestly, this is so bonkers it almost becomes good but alas...

FAVORITE MALE CHARACTER

Do Hyun Soo/Baek Hee Sung, Flower of Evil - he is so messed up, so on edge, so traumatized. Yet capable of so much warmth and caring even as he himself doesn’t realize his humanity. FoE is basically a story of a man pushed and punished by the world for his entire life who, because of one woman, finds a safe place and peace and slowly comes to life without realizing it, and watching his desperation to keep this small bit of normalcy is so heartbreaking and exciting all at once. Plus, you start the drama thinking he’s a psychopathic serial killer and end it (if you are me) thinking he must be protected at all costs and if anyone even looks at him wrong they must suffer, and that’s quite a change!

FAVORITE FEMALE CHARACTER

Nam Ji Ah, Tale of the Nine Tailed - she is so funny and tough and smart and loving and amazing that I will totally buy that a literal demi-god will do anything and everything for her and love her for literal eternity.

NEEDS TO BE MURDERED

Dad in Record of Youth - yes in a year with serial killers and supernatural demons, I picked a normal character from a mediocre drama. It’s his everyday awfulness to his family that hits so hard and I am sad he never got his comeuppance.

FAVORITE SHIP

Ji Ah x Yeon - a fearless reporter and an immortal demi-god who’s been hoping for his human beloved to reincarnate. A really rare set-up where the OTP is equally ride or die, so compatible and completely BAMF. I got why he waited for her for that long and then fell in love with her all over again. Perfection.

Runner up: Flower of Evil - he is so messed up he literally does not believe he is capable of love or empathy, but he falls in love with her anyway and so utterly she permeates his entire life. She is tough as nails and only believes what she sees and is the sole person who believes in him against the world. She loves him but he needs her. She needs him but he loves her. They are amazing.

FAVORITE SECONDARY OTP

Seo Dan x Gu Seung Jun, Crash Landing on You, North Korean x Conman were so good I shipped them harder than the main OTP and the end of that storyline pissed me off so much I dumped the drama and didn’t finish it for months (and it’s still dead to me.)

NOTP

Record of Youth - it started out and they didn’t have much chemistry but the dialogues were interesting and I thought the chemistry would grow. It didn’t and deteriorated, their dialogues became boring and relationship had zero development (about as much as the supposed female lead.) I think we were supposed to feel bad they broke up and they were going for a bittersweet open ending, instead I found myself happy about the break up of two incompatible, chemistry-less people and hoping for the love of God they never get back together.

FAVORITE SCENE

Yeon and the bridge of knives, Tale of the Nine Tailed - Yeon choosing to undergo the creeptastic bridge of knives for a chance to save Ji Ah, who at that point he is not aware is the reincarnation of his Joseon love because, as he says, he doesn’t care if she is or isn’t, it just would be more horrible to have her die than to undergo the horrific torture he is undergoing, and then the sequence with his catching her, her weeping over him and the fact that she is the original Joseon girl revealed and all the bandaging and his watching her sleep and all that loveliness, is everything for yours truly.

Runner up: Hyun Soo having that break-down at the cliff at the end of ep 15 of Flower of Evil as Ji Won desperately tries to convince him she is alive and he finally stumbles to her.

Runner runner up (it’s my list, I will do what I want): Do Won preparing to blow his brains out to give a chance to Seo Kyung to live in Train.

BIGGEST CRUSH

Seon-Gyeom, Run On. Yeah, I know. Im Siwan is tiny, delicate featured and has a runner’s build, none of which are things that normally appeal to me. But his character is so odd, so honest, so unflinching in pursuing what he thinks is right, so incapable of self-pity despite plenty of reasons for it, and so ridiculously attractive when he smiles, I don’t even care.

BEST SCENE STEALER CHARACTER

Kim Bum, TotNT - I started out being annoyed by him and ended up looking forward to his scenes and being distraught by his ending.

NEEDS A SEQUEL

Honestly, none. I was fine with all the endings. I wouldn’t mind seeing post-end life of Tale of the Nine Tailed characters or the OTP settling into their literal new world in Train, but I am good.

TROPE THAT NEEDS TO DIE

Time jump that solves all the problems off screen or alternatively years pass and everyone is frozen - something that kdramas need to learn and need to learn badly. See Record of Youth, Brahms and Start Up.

FAVORITE TROPE WE’VE SEEN A LOT OF

Men who are ride or die for their OTP - this was a great year for this - the male leads of four of my five dramas were beyond anything on that scale (only exception is Run On because it’s still too early to tell there.) Yes PLEASE.

BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT

This was a banner year for that what with Start Up, Do You Like Brahms, Record of Youth, and Private Lives all starting out well and nosediving off the cliff but winner is Crash Landing on You. I loved it so much for bulk of its run but the last episode pissed me off so much I deleted all my files and called it a day.

BIGGEST GOOD SURPRISE

Flower of Evil - I had no expectations of this drama and wasn’t even planning on watching it despite liking both the lead actors because yet another “look at evil serial killer be evil” drama with no romance was not my thing. Luckily someone convinced me there might be some romance and I peeked curiously. Honestly, their promo campaign was the most misleading and dumbest thing ever.

Runner up Psycho but it’s OK - I have never liked Kim Soo Hyun in anything before and the drama premise seemed WTF but it was shockingly good and KSH totally blew me away.

Hardest Working Lead

Yoon Shi Yoon - he starred in two (!!!) dramas in 2020 playing three characters and not only were both these dramas awesome in a lackluster year, but if it wasn’t for the fact that I knew it was the same actor and the fact that the characters shared a face, I would have never believed that they were played by the same actor. So good!

2020 DRAMAS I HAVEN’T SEEN THAT I MOST WANT TO WATCH

None. Covid Year gave me PLENTY of time

BEST NON-2020 DRAMA I’VE WATCHED IN 2020

My Beautiful Bride and Deserving of the Name - I was obsessed with both of them and honestly, they were much better than the bulk of 2020 kdramas I watched.

MOST ANTICIPATED IN 2021

The Moon That Rises in the Day, Hong Chun Gi, Joseon Exorcist, Island,  Frightening Cohabitation, Snowdrop.

[stanakin4life]

My Anidala Headcanons Pt. 2

You guys really liked these so here we go.

1. Who makes the first move and how?

Anakin cause that’s canon.

2. Who is the most insecure and what makes them feel better?

Anakin, do I really need to explain this?

3. Who is the most romantic?

Anakin tries to be romantic but it just comes out really cheesy but Padme goes along so he feels special.

4. Who can’t keep their hands to themselves?

Anakin can’t get enough of his hot senator wife.

5. Who says ‘I love you’ first?

Even though Padme said it first, Anakin definitely heavily implied it first and didn’t outright say it because he was a scared teenager.

6. Who would they ask if they ever had a threesome?

I don’t think he would want to share Padme with anyone, I can’t picture them wanting to do that.

7. What do they get up to on a night out?

Anakin would try to take Padme on a romantic classy date but because Anakin is so disaster prone that something bad would always happen and they just end up eating at Dex’s or just going home.

8. What do they like in bed?

I’m sorry for all the Anakin choke me people but based on my opinion I think Anakin would only like doing the most Vanilla sex and would call it making love and cry afterwards. He would also be more submissive just because of his past seeing sexual violence he would never want to accidentaly do something like that to Padme.  

9. What is the most embarrassing thing they have done in front of each other?

For Anakin it's definitely anything he said in episode 2 and Padme makes fun of him all the time for it. For Padme I think it's either her saying I love you first or marrying him, I feel like she woke up the morning after like “Did I really just marry a 19 year old illegally, Padme how did we get here??”

11. What do they hide from one another?

Anakin hides how tired and badly hurt he is when he comes home, he also hides his insecurities about his relationship with Padme since I feel like deep down inside he still feels like that slave kid on tatooine who doesn’t deserve Padme. Padme I feel hides her past relationships because she can sense he is a bit insecure when it comes to their relationship so she doesn’t mention them till he finds out. Like with Clovis.

12. What first changes when it starts getting serious?

Padme is more affectionate and Anakin isn’t so tense anymore.  

13. When do they realise they should get together?

When they both realize a war is coming which could result in both of their deaths. (canon)

14. When one has a cold, what does the other do?

If Anakin has a cold, Padme of course takes care of him to the best of her ability. If Padme has a cold, Anakin is in full on panic mode like he probably reads the star wars equivalent to Web MD and thinks Padme is dying of 5 deadly diseases. Goes to the store and buys every medicine he can, tries to make every remedy he knows. Probably burns the kitchen in the process, he overexerts himself to the point he falls asleep and she can finally do what she needs. She doesn’t really mind his chaos and how she has to take care of herself because it's just a cold and his chaos shows how much he truly loves her. 

15. When they watch a film what do they choose and why? Who gets the final vote?

I feel like Anakin would like to watch a nice feel good romantic comedy since he feels like he lived one and is at the happy ending with his true love. Padme I think would want to watch a courtroom drama since she likes the debates in them. However they would watch Anakin’s choice since he finds the courtroom stuff boring and confusing and Padme doesn’t mind watching a nice feel good film.

16. When the zombie apocalypse comes, how do they cope together?

I feel like they would stick together till they found a bunker community. Padme would help with the Bunker politics like splitting rations and food, shower schedules, and who can go outside. Anakin would help by going outside to get food and kill some zombies in his way.

17. When they find a time machine, where do they go?

They’d go back to episode 2 time period before the war so they can just relax and reminisce. 

18. When they fight, how do they make up?

I feel like at first Anakin storms away mad and they just eventually get over it. But then later he feels sorry and apologizes a lot.

19. Where do they go on their first date?

I consider the picnic scene to be their first date.

20. Where do they go on holiday?

To Naboo, Anakin loves Naboo too much.

21. Where do they get nervous about going with one another?

Everywhere, Padme counts in her head every time Anakin almost blows their secret, while Anakin thinks he’s great at keeping secrets.

22. Where does their first kiss happen?

Naboo 

23. Where is their favourite place to be together?

At home, Anakin loves to be at home cuddling with his wife.

24. Where do they first have sex?

I’m going to assume their Honeymoon was in Naboo and that’s where they first do it

25. Why do they fight?

Anakin gets jealous about her exes.

26. Why do they need to have a serious chat?

Anakin’s insecurities and possessiveness over Padme and their relationship.

27. Why do their friends get annoyed with them?

They act like no one knows they are dating but everyone knows that they are

28. Why do they get jealous?

I feel like Padme isn’t the jealous type while Anakin gets jealous of Padme’s exes.

29. Why do they fall a little bit more in love?

Because they are in the middle of war and they can’t take their lives for granted

Questions Credit: @writsgrimmyblog

[destieltropecollection]

Destiel Trope Collection 2020 Day 20: Mutual Pining

An Old Feeling | @deservetobesaved

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1741 Main Tags/Warnings: post season 12, jealous!dean, love confession Summary: Castiel thinks Dean will never love him back so he decides to try and move on. Cue jealous!Dean and confessions galore.

To Catch a Spark | zaphodsgirl (AO3)

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 2364 Main Tags/Warnings: Misunderstandings, Fluff Summary: Cas has been acting pretty clumsy lately and Dean is a little worried.

Falling Awake | @specsofwings

Rating: General Word Count: 2530 Main Tags/Warnings: Love confessions, Cas and Dean being idiots, The Cosmic Entity Summary: After Michael is killed by Team Free Will 2.0, Dean ends up in the Empty, Michael's grace pulling a sliver of his consciousness there. The Cosmic Entity calls him out on not realising Castiel is in love with him. Dean needs to decide what to do with that information as he wakes up home.

Personal Space | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2859 Main Tags/Warnings: NSFW, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot. Masturbation, Masturbation Interruptus, Voyeur Castiel Summary: It’s been four weeks since the last time Dean actually had time for himself and he just wants to crawl into his bed and finally jack off. Sadly he says a certain name and Castiel shows up and not to interrupt.

That Game We Played | @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 3139 Main Tags/Warnings: Valentine's Day, Castiel/Dean Winchester in the Men of Letters Bunker, Broken Thermostat, Castiel is Not Oblivious, Naked Cuddling Summary: “You know what?” Dean mutters, mostly to himself. He really is trying to be less of a jerk - but he can’t seem to help it. It’s Valentine’s day, and it’s hot. So he decides to stop talking, and takes off his jacket, a deep blue leather utility, and shucks it away on a counter. Cas seems to find this interesting, his eyes following Dean around the room; so then Dean does the first thing that comes to mind. He walks over to Cas, and holds his hand out. Cas stares at it, like he’s trying to figure out the purpose of its existence. Dean helps him, because he’s awesome like that. “Your coat.” Because why the fuck not?

Get out of my head | @notfunnydean

Rating: General Word Count: 3216 Main Tags/Warnings: Cursed, Mind Reading, dean and cas get cursed, mind reading Summary: When a witch puts some sort of spell on Dean and Castiel, they start to hear each other’s thoughts. Dean tries very hard to keep a secret, but Castiel has to insist.

May I ask for this dance | @notfunnydean

Rating: General Word Count: 3225 Main Tags/Warnings: Dean needs Cas' help on a case, Masquerade Ball, dancing on his feet Summary: When Dean asks Castiel to accompany him at an undercover investigation at a masquerade ball, to find the witch who killed a lot of people, Castiel wants it to be a date. Only problem, he can’t dance, so he asks Sam for help.

You aren't a monster | @notfunnydean

Rating: General Word Count: 3782 Main Tags/Warnings: misunderstandings Summary: When Bobby and Sam start to believe Castiel is actually on the bad side, Dean tries to defend his angel. He wouldn’t let them kill his best friend but unfortunately Castiel hears the wrong snippet of the conversation and ends up hurting Dean badly.

And I swear | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 4413 Main Tags/Warnings: two idiots in love, Jealous!Cas, Arthur is not in the fic but mentioned a lot, Abusive Relationships, hurt!Dean, Break Up Summary: Dean knows that Arthur is treating him badly, but he had worse in his life and besides, it’s not like the person he really loves wants him back.

your eyes will lead me straight back home | @elizaeverafter

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4602 Main Tags/Warnings: no archive warnings apply, fake/pretend relationship, mutual pining, fluff, light angst, romantic comedy, friends to lovers, au modern setting, jealousy, castiel POV Summary: When Dean hatches a plan to go to Charlie's wedding with Castiel to avoid being bothered about remaining single, Castiel knows this isn't going to go well. But he hasn't been able to refuse Dean so far, so why would this act of being in a relationship be any different? And if Castiel feels like exploding and blurting out his feelings the whole time, well, that's his problem.

The War Within You | @verobatto-angelxhunter

Rating: Mature Word Count: 9770 Main Tags/Warnings: Destiel, season 6 canon divergent, first kiss, mutual pining, slow burn, love confession, eventual Human!Cas, angst with a happy ending. Summary: Sam Is back from the cage but something is wrong with him, and Dean knows it. He must call Castiel for help... But not just for that... There's something forbidden burning inside him that makes his mind go crazy. He needs to be near the angel.

The Meaning of Everything | @verobatto-angelxhunter

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 17000 Main Tags/Warnings: Destiel, canonverse, post s14 canon divergent, mutual pining, first kiss, love confession, explicit sexual content, canon typical violence, angst with a happy ending, vessel sharing, winged Cas Summary: Chuck is the bad guy, and he broke with his snap Heaven, Hell and Purgatory. The chaos is all over the Earth. But Billie has a plan, they need to work together to raise Jack as the New God. Dean and Cas will try to solve their issues, but something unexpected will happen that will separate them again.

The Alpha Next Door (WIP) | @Destielshipper4Cas

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 16767 Main Tags/Warnings: Strangers to Lovers, First Time, Omega Castiel, Alpha Dean, Past Abuse Summary: When Cas is placed in WitSec, he gets a fake secondary gender designation to go along with his new name, ‘Jimmy.’ All he has to do until the boss of the omega trafficking ring he escaped is behind bars is keep a low profile, always apply his alpha scent, and not fall in love with an alpha. Well—two out of three ain’t too bad… Dean has never had a crush on an alpha before. Along comes his new neighbor, Jimmy, an alpha who is alphasexual. There’s just something about him, and to his utter confusion, he finds himself falling for an alpha for the first time in his life.

Guardian Angel | @notfunnydean

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 19486 Main Tags/Warnings: Homeless Dean Winchester, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Virgin!Dean, Abusive John Winchester, Canon-Typical Violence Summary: Everybody in the world has his own guardian angel, to keep them safe and protect them. Only "bad people" are without a guardian angel. Maybe that's why Dean is alone.

Little Blue Dragon | @saltnhalo

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 23820 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Magic, Blacksmith Dean Winchester, Mage Sam Winchester, Creature Castiel, Dragon Castiel, Pining, Soulmates, Minor Violence, Frottage Summary: Dean Winchester may have a reputation for being a skilled craftsman and blacksmith, but his life is just like anyone else’s. He’s over-worked and under-slept, and it’s all because of the niggling feeling in the back of his mind that tells him he’s… forgetting something. Still, he can’t let his weird dreams or errant thoughts get in the way of his work and his love for his craft. The strange feeling goes ignored. That is, until he meets a man with jewel-blue eyes and an aura of intrigue. Castiel slots into his life in a way that Dean had never thought possible, and Dean grows accustomed to the mysterious man’s visits and brilliant smiles and tales of far-away places. He’d never known he was missing a piece of himself until he met Castiel, and he thinks that Cas might feel the same way. Until Castiel disappears from Dean’s life completely.

Dislocation | @pray4jensen

Rating: Mature Word Count: 24514 Main Tags/Warnings: Mutual Pining, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: After the sun is restored and the Woman of Letters banishes Castiel, he falls and becomes human, lost and alone in a place far from home. Four hundred and fifty-one days later, Sam finds him. He tells Castiel that Dean is alive. So they go. They go and they arrive at the bunker and Sam’s acting strange and there’s something that he’s not telling Castiel, something about Dean. And then Castiel finally reunites with Dean. And there is something about Dean. Something about Dean that has Dean pulling Castiel into tight embraces, something about Dean that has Dean running his thumb across Castiel’s cheek with a tender look in his eyes, and something about Dean that has Dean shaking when Castiel says certain things to him, things that are normal, things that should not affect him this way. There is something about Dean that no one is telling him.

Sending A Raven | @saltnhalo

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 38677 Main Tags/Warnings: Vikings, Magic, Temporary Character Death, Established Relationship, Leader Dean Winchester, Explicit Sexual Content, Violence, Dean/Cas Pinefest 2019, Viking Dean Winchester, Viking Castiel, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), BAMF Dean Winchester, Mutual Pining, Angst Summary: When Dean, the Viking jarl of Týrvik, leaves on a raid to combat the enemy warriors attacking their ships, his husband Castiel is left to protect and lead the village. The ships return barely a week later, with damaged timbers and a devastated, leader-less crew, and suddenly Castiel finds himself not only in a position of leadership for which he is ill-equipped, but terrified for the safety of his captured husband. With the possibility of a spy somewhere in the village’s midst, Castiel leaves his people under Sam’s care and departs on the journey north to where they think Dean is being held, in a desperate attempt to rescue him before it’s too late.

Twenty Years | @ioasccel

Rating: Mature Word Count: 39501 Main Tags/Warnings: Angst, pining, religious themes, Summary: A profound bond between a Priest and the one he loves the most that spans decades. Father Novak’s love of God is tested by one Dean Winchester. A story of a priest driven by love and tortured by desire. All about forbidden love, heart break, and an eventually a happily ever after.

It's A Long Life to Always Be Longing | @pomegranatedaffodil

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 40685 Main Tags/Warnings: Canon Divergence, Spells and Enchantments, Road Trips, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Dean’s life has always been dictated by duty rather than by need. So when Amara offers to give him the thing he needs most, he doesn’t know what to expect, but it certainly isn’t this: a chance to rest, some time away from his life and his burdens. Now he’s trapped in an enchanted sleep, unable to bring himself back to the waking world. It’s up to Sam and Castiel to gather the components of a spell that will bring Dean back to them. Through road trips, honest conversations, and a lot of patience, they’ll make sure Dean comes home. And when he does, maybe he and Castiel will finally have a chance to act on long-buried feelings brought to the surface by their enforced separation. Canon-divergent from the end of 11.23.

The Handyman's Special | @carrieosity

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 51456 Main Tags/Warnings: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Mutual Pining, Humor and Fluff, Human AU, Low-angst, Top!Castiel/Bottom!Dean Summary: Dr. Dean Winchester, professor of Mechanical Engineering, was full of confidence in his own abilities when he decided to purchase a fixer-upper house to rehab and remodel on his own. Now, standing in the middle of his new house and praying the floors won’t cave in, he’s realizing that determination and academic brilliance might only take him so far this time. The bigger problem: his overconfidence in the face of other people’s doubts (ahem, Sam) means that asking for help now will mean swallowing a whole lot of pride…and he’d rather not. Hiring a secret contractor to do the work without telling anyone seems like the perfect solution. Accidentally hiring an amazingly hot secret contractor wasn’t part of the plan. And when Sam overhears a conversation and starts connecting dots, a snap decision and another lie on top the first leads to a ridiculous balancing act of fake stories, pretend relationships, and one hell of a renovation tale.

Escaping Neverland | @emblue-sparks

Rating: Explicit Word Count: 84004 Main Tags/Warnings: Major Warning: Underage(only first 30k, no underage sex), Mental health issues, Identity issues, failed family placements, Mention of past traumas Tags: Adventure Romance AU with canon elements Storybook I-1995 Storybook II- 2015 Heavily inspired by Peter Pan,Completely Destiel despite first pairing, read to learn how, NO MCD(Sam Dean Cas)Canon character deaths, TAGS FOR 1995: Practices & rituals of Sumerian/Greek/Judeo Christian faiths, Dean/Jimmy slow burn, heart failure, kidney/pancreatic failure, dialysis, Found Family, John's the dad his kids deserve, LGBTQ positive parents, First kiss disaster, First DateHoliday, our island/our rules, sad boys, memorial rituals, Heart Transplant, Mourning Rituals TAGS FOR 2015: Everyone supports therapy, Incorrect demon summoning, Latin, Scottish Gaelic, Enochian, Professor/Rookie Hunter!Sam, Nurse!Dean, Orchard Owner/Beekeeper!Cas,Tattooed Dean, burger date, Frottage, Shower Deansturbation,Blow Jobs, Anal Sex, Cum kink, Biting kink, Switch boys, Heavy surgical scarring, Dean knows ASL, Strange Dreams, Collective nightmares, Canon adjacent realms: Hoya Baciu Forest Romania, Caria Turkey, Chaos, Mythical Greek creatures, Temporarily fanged Benny, Some villainous ferrymen, Some badass ferrymen, Overly confident dick in a boat, Destiel Ever After, Happy Ending GUARANTEED, Dean/Cas Big Bang Challenge 2019 Summary: Lawrence 1995- Sixteen year old Dean Winchester finds himself in St. Luke's Children's Hospital after an electrocution severely damages his heart. On unit Neverland he meets Jimmy, a smartass with multiple organ failure and an expiration date. They discover an immediate spark which becomes an enduring flame. But Dean struggles accepting Jimmy's fate as well as his own, if a heart cannot be found in time. As his efforts to evade the ultimate marauder are weakening, he begins drawing strength from the misfit teens of Neverland East, learning the power of found family. Lebanon 2015- Dean finally joins Sam, Jo, and Charlie in the bunker. But unexpectedly meeting Castiel, who shares an unsettling likeness to Jimmy and an equally traumatic childhood, threatens to destroy two decades of hard work moving beyond the devastating events which occurred at St. Luke's. They'd be perfect for each other, if both weren’t so damn broken. As their involvement deepens, rookie hunter Sam works a case of rising juvenile deaths, revealing a shocking connection to the surviving Neverlanders. One that's been calling them all along to perilous adventure.

After All These Years | @peanutbutterjelly-pie

Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 99909 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe, Pretend Relationship, Fluff, Mutual Pining, Single Parent Dean, Reunion, Slow Burn Summary: In which Dean finds himself at a wedding as Jo's fake boyfriend against his will, groaning and complaining the whole time, but still trying to appear all handsome and perfect and utterly in love since he's an awesome friend like that (and since Jo would make his life a living hell otherwise). And just when he begins to think that it won't be so bad to eat tons of free food and let his daughter Emma enjoy the festivity his gaze suddenly meets the two bluest eyes in existence and the world stops to move for a moment. Because of course the groom's brother turns out to be his old high school crush Castiel – the only person Dean was never able to forget – and things start to become really complicated all of a sudden.

[andy-clutterbuck]

Love Actually | 2003

[endydancer1]

We used to be strangers | Part 6

Pairing: Tom Holland x Y/N Lincoln

Summary: Tom has just finished his latest movie and his heading back home to London. While he is passing the high building, suddenly something happens what changes his life completely. What is the shadow up there?

WARNING: Mentions of injuries, blood, depression, thinking of suicide.

..................................................................................

"Tom, get the fuck out of the bathroom! You are having a shower for almost an hour! There are 3 other boys living in this house if you haven't noticed yet!" Haz was forcefully knocking on the bathroom door. He had been standing there for good 20 minutes. Tom had went to the shower at 10 am and it was almost 11! Finally the lock clicked and the door opened showing naked Tom  wearing only a towel around his waist.

TOM'S POV:

"Holy Odin, thank you. What did take you so long?! Don't tell me you were actually showering 60 minutes!" Haz looked at me a bit annoyed.

"I was. I am sorry. I needed to shave and clean myself properly." I glanced innocently at him.

"Oh so you had to shave. Why?  Are you going on a date? You normally don't spend that much time in a shower even if you are shaving. So what's up?"

"No, I don't have a date. I just.. Want to look nice, you know? I am coming to hospital to see Y/N."

"Oh, I see now. So you are finally falling for someone new. And while she is in hospital she can't run away from you when you would want to play with her, right?" Haz teased.

I just rolled my eyes and pushed him out of my way.

"Yeah, that's my dark plan. But it's a secret, don't tell anyone or I will be forced to play with you too." I smirked and walked into my room.

"You need someone to play with you already cuz you are unbearable." I heard Haz laughing before I closed the door behind me.

"Well, what should I wear?" I was standing on one place for good 3 minutes directly looking into my closet. - What am I doing? I have never been thinking that much about what should I wear on the regular day. I don't even shower that long. Was it really an hour?- I looked at my phone. - It was! Oh God. I wasn't that nervous and didn't care that much about my look even when I went on a first date with Anna. And another thing is I don't even have a date today! It's just.. Casual visit of someone I saved, right?- I just sighed and took step closer to my closet.

"Hmm, what about this? Jeans with denin jacket. It's a bit casual, but hey, I won't spoil anything with that." I dried my hair, dressed myself and walked out of my room. There was no one except me and Haz in the house.

"Harrison? Are you ready? Can we go?" I shouted waiting in front of his room.

"I am waiting for you in the living room you div!"

"Sorry! I thought you were still in your room!" I came down to living room.

"Well not everyone is as slow as you." He stood up and took his car keys. "Let's go!"

After lunch we went to the shopping centre, because I needed to buy something for Y/N.

"Uhm, Haz? What should I buy for Y/N? I promised her to watch movies with her, but I don't know which she would want to watch."

"Well, you probably should have asked her."

"You are not helping mate!"

"I am sorry, I am sorry, I am just messing with you,haha. Well, from what you have already said about her, she doesn't know you are an actor. So probably you can show her one of your movies."

"I don't think it would be a good idea. I don't want to look like a selfish prick. And.. What if she is that kind of girl who would want me only because of my money and fame?" I glanced at my feets and played with my fingers nervously.

"Tom, I understand, but you said she sent you a heart emoji and it's a good sign!" Haz poked my arm gently and a laugh a bit.

"Yeah, but she probably saw my Instagram profile and she probably knows I am famous by now."

"Well..it's also possible, but maybe she doesn't know yet. You know what then? Take one or two Marvel movies. Iron Man or Thor, or Avengers, to see if she like these kind of movies, take some romantic comedies, you know, because girls like them, right? Take your favourite movie and maybe.. Oh yeah, try any of your movies where you were young. If she notices it, you know? The Impossible or In the heart of the sea? "

" That can actually works. Thank you Haz, what would I do without you." I smiled at him. "And we should borrow it from movie rental, because I doubt they have Netflix in the hospital." I chuckled. We borrowed 5 movies.

"Mate look at this hoodie! I need it! Haz, I need it!"

"Oh God Tom, you have tons of Spiderman hoodies! You really don't need another one..."

"But look at it!"

"It's just saying Mr. Stark I don't feel so good! Tom, this meme is over."

"Well not for me. I am gettin' it and you can't do anything about it!"

"God, fine! Buy it, but hurry up if you want me to take you to hospital." Haz rolled his eyes and waited for me outside the shop.

"I've got it! Yay!" I rushed out of the shop full of joy from my new purchase.

"You are such a kid Tom, you know? How old are? 5?" He laughed at me. "Let's go. You should buy some snacks."

"Why? I am the snack, she can eat me" I joked.

"Or you can eat her, huh?"

"Harrison! But yeah.. Maybe I will!"

"One day.." Haz sticked his tongue out.

We teased each other the whole ride to the hospital. Harrison told me to call him when I wanted him to pick me up. We said our goodbye and I went into the building.

"Good afternoon Mrs. Brown. How are you? I know I am here a bit early, but I here to visit Y/N." I smiled at young lady at the reception. Her face had already dropped while I spoke. Sad smile appeared on her face.

"I am sorry, Mr. Holland. You should go home and rather forget about her."

"W-what? Why? What happened? Is she okay?"

"I shouldn't be telling you this, but she probably won't survive much longer."

"What? You have to be joking? I was talking to her yesterday. She was fine. What happened? If it has something to with that Melendez guy I am sorry. But ple, don't joke about her dying, I.."

"I am not joking, Mr. Holland. I would have never joked about such a thing. She is my best friend. And she is dying. So please,don't make it even harder for me."

"C-can I.. Can I at least see her? One last time?"

"I am sorry, you can't. She is on fluid resuscitation right now."

I could feel my eyes started watering. I felt familiar anxiety and my heart almost stopped working. My palms started sweating, I felt dizzy. I had to sit down for a moment.

"Do you need water, Mr. Holland?"

I wasn't able to speak. My voice was caught deep in my throat. My eyes were blankly staring at the wall in front of me. I didn't even notice when she left to grab me some water.

"Here, drink it." She handed me cup of water and crunched in front of me. "Listen, I know how you feel. Y/N is amazing person, you don't know her for a long time, but I am sure you could see that. She doesn't deserve to die like this and this soon, but it's what it is. We have to deal with it. She wouldn't want you to cry over her death. She would want you to continue your life with joy. Let's honour every moment we could spend with her and if the worst comes, we should let her die in peace. " She gently rubbed the back of my hand. I looked at her with puffy red eyes.

" I don't want her to die. " I said with raspy voice.

" I know. Me neither, but she was diagnosed with severe damages to her body, her condition is really miserable and there is only a small chance of her to survive this even with the best doctors and facilities."

I growled and put my head into my hands. I didn't even try to keep my sobbs quiet. Mrs. Brown hugged me tightly.

" Psst. It will be okay. I feel the same. You are not alone. But you should go home now. Spend some time with your family and friends. It's okay to cry, but don't let it affect you in other ways. Do you have someone to pick you up?"

"What's her diagnose? What happened? Can you at least tell me so I know when she.. When she dies what causes it?"

"She suffers a septic shock. It's severe condition when 50% of patients dies, because of multiple organs failure."

"But.. She was okay yesterday. How could it happened?"

"Septic shock is caused by sepsis which does not respond the treatment.  Your blood pressure drops to a dangerously low level after sepsis."

"Oh my God." I gulped and felt dizzy again. My skin was pale.

"Mr. Holland, look at me. Do you have someone to take you home? Can you give me your phone so I can call you someone?"

I can't remember properly how I managed to unlock my phone and handed it to her. Her voice was muffled and my head hurt. I didn't know how much time passed, but suddenly Harrison appeared in front of me.

" Hey, mate. I am here, I am here. Can you stand up? I am taking you home." He helped me to stand up and led me in the car. He managed to sat me on the front seat.

"Wait for me I need to speak to the nurse. Can you do that?"

I nodded absently. He walked back to the nurse I was talking to, Mrs. Brown. She explained what happened and what he should do with me. After a minute or two, Haz took me home. I cant tell you how long the ride was, because only thing I could think about was Y/N. She was dying. Dying and I couldn't help her. I only spoke to her for a few hours, but I had already felt the bond between us. I couldn't lose her. I didn't want to be sad, broken. Not again. Not after Anna. I prayed in my head. I prayed so hard. - Please God, I have already lost the love of my life. Please, I don't want to see another person die. I have just started to have feelings for another woman, after years of being alone and crying over my sweet angel, I found another one, or at least I think I found. And you want to take her from me too? -

"Tom, Tom, please look at me. Don't cry mate, I know it's hard. I am here. Please look at me." Haz was looking at me, obviously worried. Somehow he managed to lay me down on my bed.

"Tom, do you need something? A water or something to eat?" he sat next to me on bed. I stayed quiet, not really listening what he was saying. He just sighed.

"I will give you some space. You should sleep a bit. I will be downstairs if you need something." He stood up and walked to the door.

"Stay.. Please.. I need you."

A/N: Let me know what you think about this story so far. Sorry for my English, it's not my first language and I am new with this. So I would be happy and thankful about the feedback. Have a nice day! 😊

[scotianostra]

Happy 51st Birthday Gerard James Butler born 13 November 1969 in Paisley.

When he was 6 months old, his family relocated to Montreal, Canada, where his father tried a few business ventures but ultimately failed. A year and a half later, his parents divorced, and his mother moved Gerard and his two older siblings back to her hometown of Paisley.

After the move, Butler was raised by his mother, with no further contact with his father until he was 16 years old. (Gerard and his later father reconciled, and remained close until his father died of cancer when Butler was in his early 20s.) During his childhood, Butler was enthralled with movies and acting, and his mother took him to several auditions. He joined the Scottish Youth Theatre and in one of his first roles played a street urchin in its production of Oliver!, a role I have played myself, in a school production I was in Fagin's gang, but alas fame was not to come my way as it did for Gerard 

Despite his love for theater and film, Butler was anxious to please his family and believed that acting was not a realistic career choice for him. "I was a 16-year-old kid on the other side of the world from where they made movies," he later said. "Scottish actors never really got play. There was Sean Connery, and that was it." Though he claims he is "not the most academic of guys," Butler graduated near the top of his high school class and enrolled in the University of Glasgow, where he studied to become a lawyer and solicitor. 

During his time in university, Butler was also the president of the law society and graduated with honours. Like many other new graduates, Butler decided to take a year off to travel abroad, and his ventures soon landed him in Venice, California, where he indulged in the high life: "This is when things started to go a little crazy," he later said. "Something very compulsive and dark and lusty and pleasurable but damaging took over. It was suddenly knowing I could go out and have a life of traveling, craziness, adventure, partying, women, and all the other things that go with that—including a sense of abandonment."

After California, Butler returned to Scotland to begin a two-year traineeship at one of Edinburgh's top law firms,(while there he shared a flat with my pal Peter)but soon found that he despised the job more and more, and he started slacking off and letting his depression show. A week before he was due to finish his traineeship, he went to the Edinburgh Film Festival and saw a stage production of Trainspotting, an experience that crystallized his disappointment with the law and his yearning to be an actor: "The guy playing the lead role was phenomenal. It was such an incredible atmosphere. And I'm dying inside. This is the life I wanted to live. I can do this. I know I can do this. But it's past now. It's gone. I'm 25. I missed that opportunity. A week later, they fired me."

Humiliated but determined to finally pursue his dream of acting, Butler moved to London, England, the next day and worked odd jobs while trying to get his career off the ground. While working as a casting assistant for the play Coriolanus, he ran into the play's director, Steven Berkoff, in a coffee shop and begged for a chance to read for the lead role. He says of the experience: "I gave it everything. Afterward, the casting director came up to me almost in tears. She said, 'You're the best he saw in two days!' Walking home was probably the happiest moment of my life, when there's an energy in you that can't be put down. I'd gone from handing out pages to getting the lead role." After a successful run in Coriolanus, Butler landed the lead in the exact same stage rendition of Trainspotting that had inspired him to try acting again, and he was really on his way as an actor.

Making the transition from the stage to the screen, in 1997 Butler starred with Judi Dench and Billy Connolly in Mrs. Brown and also scored a small part in the James Bond film Tomorrow Never Dies. During the film's shooting, he was picnicking with his mother near a river and heard screaming from a boy who was in trouble. He immediately dove into the river and saved the youth from drowning, winning a Certificate of Bravery from the Royal Humane Society as an example of his courage and caring.

After acting in a series of largely forgettable films, in 2003, Butler finally got his break with the role of the Phantom in Joel Schumacher's on-screen adaptation of the Broadway musical Phantom of the Opera. It was a demanding role that required the actor to sing most of his lines. Even though Butler had been the lead singer of a rock band during his time in law school, he was incredibly nervous about auditioning for the part: "I'd had maybe four singing lessons when I went to sing 'Music of the Night' for Andrew Lloyd Webber, which was perhaps the most nerve-wracking experience I ever went through. But I got the role. 

Some people thought I did a great job, but others thought it was sacrilegious." Though Phantom did not hit blockbuster gold, it got Butler recognized in Hollywood, and four years later he landed the lead role, as King Leonidas, in 300, the testosterone-infused historical epic about a small legion of Spartan soldiers defeating the enormous Persian army. To look believable as a warrior king, Butler trained every day for four months in the most intense workout regimen of his life, giving him an incredible physique in time for the shoot: "You know that every bead of sweat falling off your head, every weight you've pumped—the history of that is all in your eyes," he said. "That was a great thing, to put on that cape and put on that helmet, and not have to think ...'I should have trained more.' Instead, I was standing there feeling like a lion."

Butler's role in 300 was a huge boost to his career profile. Since appearing in 300, the actor has starred in several romantic comedies such as P.S. I Love You with Hilary Swank and The Ugly Truth with Katherine Heigl, along with appearing on many "world's hottest men" lists. And his career isn't showing any signs of slowing down.

Despite all of his success, Gerard Butler still retains the breezy attitude of a guy who rolls with the punches and has a down-to-earth sense of humour. Looking back, he is still slightly stunned at the twists his life has taken and reflects on what could have been: "I wasn't going to be an actor. I was going to be a lawyer ... There was something else at work, something I didn't have control of. If I hadn't [messed] up that job, I wouldn't be sitting here right now. I might be a very mediocre lawyer in some small town in the middle of Scotland."

I half expected a tweet on last nights Football from Gerard, but he has been quiet since the beginning of the month when he tweeted.

Devastated to hear that we lost one of the true greats today. He was such an enormous inspiration to me, and a big part of the reason I’m even here. He gave a little Scottish boy inspiration and hope that there was a place for us in this business.

On the movie front, Butler fans who like his "...has Fallen" films, will be pleased to know that Mike Banning will be back with a fourth instalment Mike Banning called Night Has Fallen, no more details about that as yet, but if it attracts stars like Nick Nolte and Morgan Freeman, who co-starred in  Angel has Fallen, it is sure to be another hit.

[madeofitzits]

In honor of the impending return of Brooklyn 99, here are 99 reasons that...

1. He was precocious enough to know, at 5 years old, that he wanted to change his name (x)

 2. He has a bunch of nicknames: Sandy Amberg, Young Sandwich, etc. but the most endearing one is 'Droidy', his family's name for him (x) 

3. He is still super close friends with people he's known since: Elementary School (Chelsea Peretti) (x)...

4. Junior High/High School (Kiv and Jorm) (x) 

5. … Summer Camp (Irene Neuwirth) (x)

7.  ...and Film School (Chester Tam) (x)

8. Before he met Joanna, he dated other famous ladies but - out of respect - he never discussed it/them (x) 

9. He loves turtles and tortoises. When he was a kid, he had a pet turtle that he named 'Squirt' because the first time he held it, it peed on him. His Mom, Margie, accidentally killed Squirt when Andy was at Summer camp... (x)

10. … Maybe this is why, when shooting 'Popstar', Andy fell hard for Maximus (Conner 4 Real's turtle). He says they "had a good thing going" and that he wanted to adopt him. In the end, he decided against it because there are a bunch of coyotes in his neighborhood and he was worried the little guy wouldn't be safe. (Popstar: DVD Commentary)

11. Speaking of his Mom, despite being a super private person, he appeared on 'Finding your Roots' so that he could help her track down her birth family (x)

12. When he succeeded he cried (although we never got to see it on camera) (x)

13. That's because, like all good boys, he loves his Mama which is why - as part of the same episode - he said "My mom is basically the kindest person I know… and many people would corroborate that" (x)

14. Andy's Sisters, Hannie (Johanna) and Darrow, used to make him wear diapers and put his hair in pigtails until he was 5 years old. He says he didn't mind because he just liked that they were paying attention to him (x)

15. That's why he sees his identity in comedy as being 'America's kid brother'. When he was young, he would annoy his sisters until they laughed and he claims to have been replicating that approach to entertainment ever since

16. Although a bunch of his characters have 'Daddy Issues', Andy definitely doesn't. He's super close with his Papa (Joe) and has said "he's a good man" and "the best Dad in the world" (x) 

17. Joe was Andy's youth soccer coach and in one scene in 'Hot Rod', Joe's favorite photograph can be seen in the background. It shows a very young Andy posing with a soccer ball, after "scoring the winning goal against Mersey" (x)

18. He's been a loyal Golden State Warriors fan since he was a little kid, living in Oakland (then Berkeley) and, in 2010, he correctly predicted that they would "win a Championship in my lifetime" (x) 

19. The proceeds from his Umami Burger ('The Samburger') went to a deafness early detection program in Berkeley. This cause is close to his heart because Margie uses hearing aids and used to work in the special needs program, teaching deaf kids (x)

20. He, Kiv, and Jorm have made multiple donations to their old school district, including $250 000 to its theater program (x)

21. On the subject of The Lonely Island; Andy always goes out of his way to make sure that everyone knows how much he owes to his buddies. For instance, he told Marc Maron, during his WTF appearance, that "I get a lot of credit for what Kiv and Jorm have done" (x)

22. He makes this face when he knows he’s said something naughty…

(Gif credit: @andrewsambags)

23. During his 'Wild Horses' appearance, he said that he can't watch scary movies because they freak him out too much. He told 'Complex' that he's still scared of 'The Shining' (x)...

24. … Similarly, when he was at UC Santa Cruz he worked at the Del Mar movie theater and he had a hard time coping with screenings of 'Species 2' (x)

25. He fell in love with Joanna, the moment he met her, when she greeted him by addressing him as 'Steve the C**t' (x)

 26. He listened to 'Ys', everyday for a year, before he and Joanna started dating (x)

27. He bought the original portrait that was used as the basis of the cover art for 'Ys' and gave it to Joanna as a Christmas present, so that she could hang it in her music room (x)

 28. He loves birds and goes hiking and birding with Joanna (x)

 29. Every new comment he makes about Joanna becomes an instant contender for 'most beautiful thing a person has ever said about their spouse' (x)

30. For example, he readily admits that Jake's iconic heart eyes are the result of him thinking about his amazing wife (x)

31. There are many stories about how incredibly romantic Andy and Joanna's wedding was and Jorm has said that it featured "the most magical vows I've ever heard" (x)

32. The Newsombergs now live in Charlie Chaplin's old house (x)

33. On the Emmys Red Carpet (2015), the year he hosted, they took a momentary break from posing for the world's press to whisper 'I love you' to each other (x)

34. At last year's Vanity Fair party, Andy carried Joanna's purse for her so she could grab a snack (x)

35. He was a semi-permanent fixture in the audience for her recent run of shows for the 'Strings/Keys Incident' tour, even officially confirming his status as the 'President of her Fan Club' (x)

36. He used his Golden Globes monologue to call out the government for framing and murdering the Black Panthers (x)

37. On the Carpet for the Guy's Choice Awards, he called the event "a ridiculous farce", adding that "men already have it so easy - it's insane that there's a show that celebrates them". That makes sense when you consider that he, Kiv and Jorm have made an entire career out of parodying toxic masculinity (x)

38. He once said that only "idiot-ass men" think that women aren't funny (x)

39. He’s been wearing glasses since 7th Grade and he has the most heartbreakingly cute habit of nudging them up his nose, (especially when he wears his Sol Moscot frames) (x)...

40. ... and of rubbing his eyes under them (x)

41. He barely ever wears glasses for roles but he also avoids contacts (because he doesn't like touching his eyeballs) which means he's almost always 'acting blind' (x)

42. He has worn his glasses in character a few times - as 'himself' ('Lady Dynamite'), as 'Paul' ('I Think You Should Leave') and during a very small number of SNL sketches (e.g. during his one appearance in a 'Gilly' with Kristen Wiig) (x) 

43. He can't tolerate glare and when that makes him squint it's a sight that's too cute for words (x)

44. He owns about six outfits and has been rotating them for well over a decade (x) 

45. He barely ever breaks during shooting/while performing, so when he does it's aggressively adorable. (x), (x)

46. He's a grown ass man who persuades people to come with him to the bathroom because if he goes by himself he'll get lonely (x)

47. He didn't announce he was leaving SNL, until after his last appearance, selflessly choosing not to detract from Kirsten Wiig's huge and emotional send-off (x) 

48. He undertook a quest to smell like Lorne Michaels (x) 

49. He's ageing like a fine wine (x)

50. To protect their daughter's privacy, Andy and Joanna never announced that they were expecting. They've never released their little girl's name or date of birth and most news outlets still report that they became parents in August 2017 (even though that's inaccurate) (x)

51. Although he's careful not to talk about his daughter often, sometimes he can't keep from gushing about her. For example, when asked about his first year of fatherhood he said: "It’s been the best thing that’s ever happened to me. Just like a beautiful, incredible dream. It has surpassed every expectation I ever had. It’s definitely been very blissful" (x)

52. After their daughter was born, Andy and Joanna spent the first 40 days at home with her (in a practice known as 'confinement'). He's described it as being "a really special time". (x) 

53. Andy is famously mild-mannered but, when asked about what triggers his 'Dad claws', he admitted that if anyone attempted to touch his daughter, without permission, he'd "probably sock them hard in the face"…

54. ...Characteristically, he went on to add that he hopes that never happens, since he hasn't been in a fight since 6th Grade (x)

55. Cyndi Lauper was his first celebrity crush and he plays her record ('She's so unusual') for his daughter all the time. (x)

56. His is the very definition of a precious laugh (x)...

57. It's made even more wonderful by the way it makes his voice go high-pitched (x)

58.  … and the way it causes his eyebrow to rise involuntarily  

59. It's impossible not to smile at his impression of his Mom (x)

60. And laugh at his impression of John Mulaney (x)

61. He was so convinced he wouldn't win the Golden Globe for Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical, that he didn't prepare a speech. Instead, as he explained to David Letterman, he "just went… and started drinking". The resulting list of improvised 'thank yous' was perfect in every way (x)

62. As producers, Andy, Kiv and Jorm have given life to some amazing projects ('Alone Together', 'Brigsby Bear', 'I Think You Should Leave')...

63. … and gone out of their way to support women in comedy ('Party Over Here', 'PEN15') (x)

64. As well as being a comedy legend, he's a super-talented dramatic actor, who gave the performance of a lifetime in 'Celeste and Jesse Forever' but, after the movie wrapped, and it was time to do press for it, he was straight back to goofing around (x) 

65. His lip bite should be illegal (x)

66. Even though he wears the same vanishingly small number of outfits, over and over, he has a vast collection of the most excellent socks (x)

67. He always gives 'editing notes' during his own interviews (x)

68. He has a super sweet and sincere way of thanking interviewers when they compliment him (x)

69. He adjusts his hoodie constantly (x)

70. The two most perfect Jake laughs in b99 are actually real Andy laughs 'https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=W38A_xuXaeg https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=sVm9nYrTWRQ

71. Virtually everyone who has ever worked with Andy has talked about what a wonderful person he is. This explains why so many of them have been involved with more than one of his projects (x)

72. It's not only his colleagues who talk about what a delight he is (x), (x)

73. This lovestruck fool wore his own wife's merch when he went out to dinner (x)

74. No one else uses the word 'dinky' quite like Andy (x). The same goes for 'snacky' (see point 70)

75. He does this with his tongue (x)

76. He still likes to play soccer but his eyesight is so bad that he has to keep his glasses on for it

77. When he lets his gorgeous floofy hair grow a little it sits perfectly over the arms of his glasses (x)

78. He gifted the world with Jakey's little curl (x)

79. At the James Franco Roast, he couldn't bring himself to be mean to anyone except himself (and Jeff Ross, a little!) (x)

80. In fact, he's always been willing to laugh at himself (x) and he still is (x)

81. He changes b99 scripts to make them more feminist (x)

82. Despite their humble insistence that they just benefited from 'good timing', the reality is that Andy, Kiv and Jorm (along with Chris Parnell) revolutionized digital media, when 'Lazy Sunday' popularized YouTube, increasing its traffic by 85% overnight (x)

83. He once attended the Vanity Fair party because his Mom told him to (x)

84. He has an amazing way of subtly but firmly shutting down inappropriate questions, like when this interviewer suggested that Holt being gay was something that could have been played for laughs https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=idQsYQfkR5o

85. He auditioned for SNL at the same time as Bill Hader. Hader thought he'd blown it because Andy had a bunch of props and Bill had none. In the meantime, Andy thought he'd blown it when he saw Hader and realized 'this guy doesn't need any props' (x) 

86. His bromance with Seth Meyers is one for the ages (x)

87. Every single second of this video is proof of why Andy, Kiv and Jorm deserve the world (x)

88. He once dragged Mulaney up on stage for SNL Goodnights, even though writers weren't allowed to join in (x)

89. He has a hilarious phobia of pooping anywhere except his own bathroom (x) 

90. His beautiful, beautiful, face: His smile (radiant), his eyes (caramel - hella disarming), his ears (adorably asymmetrical), his nose (perfect), His chin (the dimple… *swoon*), his jaw (could cut glass), The 'Sambeard' (another amazing layer of pretty) (x)

91. His body: His butt (x), his thighs, (x) his soft lil tummy (The ‘Sambelly’) (x), his hands. (x), his arms (x), his hips…

(Gif credit: @amystiago /@badpostandy on Twitter)

92. All signs point to the fact that, like Jake, Andy uses his glasses case as a wallet (x) 

93. Jake's "cool-cool-cool-cool-cool-cool" is an irl Andy-ism that the writers worked into b99 scripts. What's even better is that Joanna does it, too (x)

94. He has a really good arm and is low key competitive, which is super hot https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=e32K_nBDy3Q

95. He's one half of the cutest Red Carpet pose of all time (x)

96. He barely ever seems to get mad but if angry Jake is anything to go by, maybe he should... (x)

97. He's a huge nerd, who geeks out over GOT, LOTR, 'Star Wars', 'Alien(s)' and anything relating to time travel (x), (x)

98. He has a gorgeous speaking voice, especially when he’s tired or a little sick. (Bonus points for any time he uses the word ‘correct’. See point 30) (x) 

99. He’s still so committed to his b99 fans and fam, even after all this time and is as excited as the rest of us that...

[purplesurveys]

1248

Your ex taps you on the shoulder and says, “I still love you.” You say?  I feel like I’ve answered a similar situation recently, but I would assume it was a drunk text or wrong text, inform them about it, and move on.

Do you play video games?  Nah. I do feel a sort of connection of video games since I grew up surrounded by them, though; but I’m more of a watcher than anything. I like watching playthroughs of video games I’ll never play. Do you spend a lot of time with family?  No. We used to, back when the quarantine was still a relatively new thing – we hung out in the living room all the time. But now that we’ve settled in this new normal, we’re back to our normal routines and I usually like staying in my room.

Is your house more than two stories tall?  Technically, yes. We have a rooftop that serves as the ‘third’ floor.

Have you ever hit your significant other? Has he/she ever hit you?  My ex and I never hit one another; that’s a gigantic red flag even I would notice, considering I ignored most of the ones I saw hahaha.

What makes you an attractive person? (Talk about your personality too!)  I’m not sure if I’ll be able to answer this question directly, but I like my generosity. I’m not sure if I can call it attractive, though. But if we were focusing on physical features, I like my smile.

What color is your hairbrush/comb?  Pink.

What snacks do you have available in your household atm?  My dad splurged on chips in his last grocery run so we actually have quite a lot of junk food in the pantry at the moment. He also bought several packs of cookie sandwiches, wafers, sunflower seeds, and garlic-flavored peanuts.

Has anyone recently told you that they like you, or find you attractive?  Neither.

Are you attracted to the last person you Facebook messaged?  No, she’s just a good friend of mine.

Do you care about anyone that doesn’t care about you?  I guess I don’t, because I’m not even aware of them.

Was your last Facebook friend requests from a male or female?  Guy. It was another reporter, so I just ignored it and luckily he didn’t PM me just to ask to add him back, which others have already done. I really hate when work people try to make their way into my personal accounts.

Which one of your relatives is most likely to embarrass you?  My parents, especially when they are rude to service crew. Gen X-ers are impeccably talented at that, apparently.

When was the last time you ate a bar of chocolate?  Around two or three weeks ago when I had dinner at Angela’s. Her dad gave me a bar of Crunch so I can have something sweet after our meal.

Do you play any games on Facebook?  No, I never did hop on that trend.

What would you like to get a degree in?  I wanted a degree in journalism, and graduated with such. At the end of my college stint I didn’t want to pursue it anymore, but I pushed through with it anyway because it was too much of a hassle to shift and start all over.

Do you wake up a lot in the middle of the night? Technically not, because I stay up until the middle of the night anyway. It’s been a while since I fell asleep anywhere between 8 to 10 PM.

Would you prefer to read a book, watch a movie or TV show, or play a video game?  Watch a show.

Do you usually get popcorn or soda at the movie theater?  I don’t like either; I get fries instead.

What genre of films do you like the best?  Drama.

How many bank accounts do you have?  Two but I haven’t been using the other one in months. That was the bank account I initially opened when I first started ~adulting~ but when I got employed I was required to enroll in this other specific bank, so that’s what I mainly use now.

Have you ever had the flu?  Not really. I just get the occasional fever that pop out of nowhere.

What is your goal for the next few months?  Start saving FOR REAL, and also prioritizing furniture over merch for a while so I can finally fix up my room, which is quickly starting to look and feel like just a warehouse and not very homey at all.

Have you ever had some kind of sleep-disorder? How did it affect your life?  Nope.

Have you ever had food poisoning before? Describe the experience.  Yeah, it was from barbecue that apparently went bad, even though it tasted nothing of the sort. I woke up at 3 AM sweating profusely and with the most excruciating stomachache; I was feeling hot, cold, and nauseous all at the same time, and it probably lasted for like an hour or so.

What are two things that you have no problem paying full price for?  Sealed albums and my pets’ vet expenses.

Funny, charming, cute, romantic, smart - choose only 2 for the opposite sex.  Charming and smart.

Have you ever let somebody use you? Why did you do it?  It felt nice to help people.

You can go back in time & change something in your mom’s past - what is it? Good question; I’ve never encountered this before. I would let her live a more comfortable, privileged life, where she didn’t have to staple her shoes to keep them closed or have to choose between eating at a fast food restaurant or being able to commute back home.

Do you know anybody who is around the exact same size as you? Who? I’m not sure, actually. Everyone’s always slightly taller than me.

Ever been to a haunted house? How scared were you?  I haven’t.

Been on any websites today you wouldn’t want your parents to see?  Tumblr, I guess? My survey blog isn’t for any irls to see.

Which is worse: dusting or mopping?  I don’t really do either often, but I’ll go with mopping.

Would you marry somebody who was intensely religious?  Not for me.

Did you pull a senior prank?  No, that’s not a thing here. Did you graduate?  Yeah, elementary, high school, and college.

Have you ever been unfaithful in a serious relationship?  Nope.

What was the last song you listened to?  It’s a song called Epiphany.

Are you one of those lucky people with 20/20 vision?  Not ever since I was like 9 lol.

Is fashion one of your interests?  I’m way more interested in it now for sure, mostly because the celebrities I’m into these days put a lot of effort when it comes to their style; so it makes me more aware of the trends that come and go, as well.

Do you think you’ll eventually find that special someone?  I’m keeping it as a possibility, but it’s not a priority for me now.

Do you care what people think?  To an extent, I would say. My life doesn’t depend on it, though.

Is acting something you enjoy?  Never been.

What was the last thing you broke/sprained?  Do you mean a thing or a body part? Anyway, I’ll answer both. The last thing I broke was my BTS Mic Drop pen of V looooooooooool the figurine came off the pen :(( It was pretty cheap though so I’m fine with it; I can always get another one. Last body part I sprained was my ankle, when I had a bad fall a couple of years ago.

Have you ever fought with a friend because of their boyfriend/girlfriend? Because of yours?  Either hasn’t happened.

Has a stranger ever yelled at you for your language?  I don’t think so.

Whose house, other than yours and your families', are you most comfortable at?  Angela’s. Also JM’s, just because their family doesn’t hover and that vibe can sometimes be nice whenever I’m at someone else’s place.

Has any of your friends’ family ever yelled at you?  Never.

Did you ever play a sport as a little kid? Did you enjoy it? Not as a very young kid, but I took up table tennis starting when I was 12. Did you ever watch the show Full House?  Nope.

Is there a celebrity you are just DETERMINED to marry?  Now that’s just delusional haha. I’m pretty obsessed with some celebrities, that much I can admit; but thinking of them in the context of marriage is so many steps overboard.

Have you ever burned someone’s picture?  No. I could, but I am scared of fire and will probably just think of other ways to express my anger, like tearing up the photograph. What’s the longest hike you’ve ever been on?  Total length was probably like 3 hours. I haven’t gone too far when it comes to hiking.

Would you ever get a lip tattoo?  Not interested.

Who is the first person of the opposite sex that pops into your head? Hans.

Do your parents smoke cigarettes?  My mom tried it once in her life, I think. My dad has never smoked.

What does one of your T-shirts have written on it?  “Hope right here!”

Name a pet you definitely wouldn’t want.  Anything that’s supposed to roam freely in the wild, like squirrels.

Would you prefer your partner smaller or taller?  Taller, since I’m already quite pint-sized to begin with lol.

Do you enjoy going through old pictures? Sometimes. Other times, it's too painful. It also depends on the era of the pictures. < Agree, especially with the eras. Childhood photos are always fun to look at, but I have had to delete a CHUNK of photos from years ranging from 2014 to 2020 because I’ve lost a handful of friends from that period.

Do you believe people when they say they don’t judge people?  It’s hard to for the most part, but I’ve noticed very few people people really don’t. Most of the time it’s bullshit though.

What did you love the most about the town you grew up in?  That it’s pretty close to the metro.

What’s a movie that you laughed the hardest during?  Hmm, I prefer TV shows if I’m craving comedy.

What’s a movie you cried the hardest during?  Life Is Beautiful.

What’s your favorite restaurant?  Omakase for my sushi fix; School Tteokbokki if I want Korean; Yabu if I’m looking for a generous rice meal.

Is there a dessert you don’t like?  Anything with fruits.

Favorite album?  After Laughter by Paramore.

What’s a book that you read because everyone else was reading it?  I can name authors instead of books – John Green and Haruki Murakami.

Underwater or outer space?  Outer space.

Dogs or cats?  Dogs.

Kittens or puppies?  Puppies.

Bird watching or whale watching?  Whale watching. I don’t get to be in the water as much, so I would jump at the opportunity.

What is your spirit animal?  I dunno if I have one but let’s just go with dog and elephant, I guess? They’re my favorites.

What was your best subject in school?  History.

What was your worst subject in school?  Chemistry.

What is one thing you wish you knew in high school?  Don’t waste your time.

Who is your fashion icon?  Audrey Hepburn.

Diamonds or pearls?  Diamonds.

What color dress did you wear to prom?  For my own prom it was cream-colored/beige. When I went to Mike’s ball, I went with a royal blue gown.

What’s your favorite plot-twist?  I don’t think I’ve found my favorite yet.

Honestly, are you jealous of someone right now?  Not actively.

Honestly, what’s the worst thing you’ve done when you were mad?  I dunno...road rage, maybe?

Honestly, ever made anyone cry when you were mad?  It’s very likely.

Honestly, when was the last time you REALLY cried your heart out?  Sometime in the last week.

Ever pop someone else’s pimple? No thanks.

Do you need to return anyone’s phone call?  Nope.

Who are you closest to?  Angela.

Have you ever had a bad concert experience?  No, all the ones I’ve been to have been amazing experiences.

Are you currently sad about anything?  Not really. I can’t complain.

Have you had any form of exercise today?  Nah.

Can you handle blood?  Nope, I will feel faint if I see it 100%.

Has any place hired you underage for a job?  No.

Have you ever carried a concealed weapon?  I haven’t.

Are you currently searching for a job?  No, I like the one I have.

Does eating breakfast make you sick?  No?

[theres-a-goldensky]

BL Show Review Series - HIStory 3: Trapped

My first non-Thai BL review is also going to be of a series that moves away from the university setting: the Taiwanese drama HIStory3: Trapped.

Disclaimer that these are my own opinions, and I don’t know where the BL community as a whole stands on these shows. If I disliked a show you loved or visa versa, no disrespect is intended!

MASTERLIST OF BL SHOW REVIEWS

MILD SPOILERS AHEAD!

HIStory3: Trapped Rating: 9.5/10

This series. This series. First, a little background if you’re unfamiliar with the HIStory franchise. HIStory is a series of unrelated BL stories. The first season had three hour-long specials. The second series got more ambitious. There are two different stories, each spanning four full-length episodes. Finally, by the time they reached the third iteration, the franchise had grown so popular that both of the series, Trapped and Make Our Days Count, were 10 full-length episodes. (Well, or 20 small episodes that were then condensed down to 10 larger ones, but semantics.)

If you’re interested, the HIStory series is available, in the US at least, on the website viki. It is a subscription site, but it gives you access to thousands of Asian dramas, including this series and South Korean BLs like Where Our Eyes Linger and Mr. Heart.  

HIStory3: Trapped is a story about a mobster and the police officers pursuing him. But since this is BL, the mob boss has a heart of gold and is trying to reform the gang so that he and his ‘family’ can get out of the drug business and go legit. Meanwhile, the police officers are on the hunt for answers about a four year old incident that killed one of their own, but they are, err...not super effective. 

Look, you just have to roll with the fact that this story is extremely lax about police protocol and the reality of being in the mob. It’s a set up for enemies-to-lovers and intense UST and that’s it. The police chief and other higher ups have no problem with one of their officers dating a well known mob boss who is suspected of killing a fellow police officer, for instance. So why should we? Just roll with it, ok? Roll like a bowling ball, where the pins at the end of the alley are super hot UST, pining, hurt/comfort, jealousy and bed scenes. 

The mob boss in question is Tang Yi. 

Since the death of his adopted father, he’s taken over the Tang operation and is dedicating himself to avenging his father’s murder and also following his father’s dream of legitimizing their company so that their family can be safe. He is...I mean. He’s gorgeous. Just, like, super super super hot. He is outwardly unflappable (unless you poke the bruise of his father’s death), dresses impeccably, and kills with these knowing smirks that get me every time.

His life is made very complicated by officer Meng Shao Fei, who has been obsessively following him around for years. The same incident that killed Master Tang and injured Tang Yi also killed his police mentor, and Shao Fei is certain that Tang Yi had something to do with it. 

Shao Fei is impulsive and as straight forward as Tang Yi is oblique and mysterious. It’s clear early on that Shao Fei’s pursuit of Tang Yi is fueled in part by his attraction to him. Tang Yi can see this as well, and he uses Shao Fei’s crush to his advantage, ratcheting up the sexual tension to nearly unbearable heights in the early episodes and purposely provoking Shao Fei’s quick jealousy.

The jealousy is what brings this show’s rating down the half-point. Shao Fei is so transparent about his jealousy that it becomes uncomfortable to watch. I was cringing with secondhand embarrassment through a lot of the early episodes. However, that honest emotion works well for him once he figures out what he wants from Tang Yi.

This relationship has a TON of hurt/comfort for those of you interested in that particular trope. For Shao Fei, it’s physical h/c. The guy can’t stop getting hurt, and we get to see a lot of Tang Yi worried about him. For Tang Yi, though, it’s emotional h/c as he deals with the psychological fallout from watching his father die. 

You might hear mob boss/police officer and think of, I don’t know, The Sopranos, or some other serious, dramatic show. While this story does have its dramatic moments, it is largely romantic and comedic in tone. 

The plot surrounding the mystery of that mass murder four years earlier keeps things chugging along and takes some interesting turns, but the focus of the show is very much on the couples.

The main side pairing of the show is between Jack, Tang Yi’s right hand man, and Zhao Zi, another police officer and Meng Shao Fei’s best friend. This pairing is pure fluff from beginning to end. It’s where a lot of the comedy comes, and the two of them are absolutely delightful together.

The contrast set up by Jack’s dark, dangerous personality when he’s doing his job and his sweetness towards Zhao Zi is entertaining. He’s often seen idly flicking a switchblade and smiling in a way that makes it clear he has no problem using it. And then, on the other hand, he prepares Zhao Zi bento boxes and texts him cute bear stickers to make him laugh. 

Neither of these sides of Jack seem fake. They’re both just part of who he is, and Zhao Zi gets the warm, domestic Jack, while the rest of the world gets the ruthless, efficient Jack.

Again, you might be asking yourself: isn’t it weird that a leather-wearing gang member who was recently arrested by that very police team could stroll into the station and hand an officer a homemade lunch and no one cares? And to that, I say, roll with it like you’re in one of those giant orb things and HIStory3: Trapped has just pushed you down a hill.

The character of Zhao Zi is adorable, naive and almost childlike. He looks like someone who has never even held a gun in his life, never mind actually shot one. That makes it pretty funny that he became a police officer. It seems to be implied that Zhao Zi is more of a tech / research guy than a field officer, but anyway, we’re rolling with it, so it’s fine.

He’s completely blindsided by Jack’s interest in him, but is easily won over through snacks, home cooked meals, and Jack’s genuine interest in Zhao Zi’s stories about his beloved, dead grandmother. 

The other side pairing in this series is between Tang Yi’s adopted sister Zuo Hong Ye, who runs the legitimate side of the company, and their assistant, Dao Yi. Dao Yi is loyal to the Tang family, and is much older than Hong Ye. He has been her bodyguard since she was adopted by Master Tang, which makes his romantic feelings very uncomfortable for him.

Some people didn’t like this pairing, but I got into it by the end. The problem is that Hong Ye starts off seeming pretty unlikable, because she’s rude to our protagonist, Shao Fei. But then you realize that she’s doing it to protect Tang Yi from the police officer she thinks is gunning for him. 

There may be a large age difference between the characters, but the actual actors are very close in age, so that part of the story line comes off a little weird. But I found them an engaging couple, in particular Dao Yi’s stoic pining for Hong Ye. 

In conclusion: watch this series! It’s great! The bed scenes are hot, the characters are well drawn, the acting is good, the story is interesting. Big recommendation.

And if you’re interested in fanfic, I put together rec lists for multiple BL shows including this one that can be found here and here. 

MASTERLIST OF BL SHOW REVIEWS

(Send me an ask if you have a show you’d like me to review - with the understanding that I will be completely honest - or if there’s anything you think I forgot or got wrong in this review.)