#no hate to valterri of course

[sunrizef1]

Williams are advancing in talks to sign bottas…

The only driver below Logan in the standings.

[aaivii]

Two cents on the DOTD because it is upsetting so many people 🤷‍♀️

DOTD is literally the award given, basis on whose fans are the most active and actively voting. So, for quite last few races it has always been Lando and I'm not surprised, because people other than him were usually Max, George, Charles and I think it was Lewis once, I might be wrong there. But what surprises me is the amount of people who vehement bad mouth Lando for it, and be like ooohh all the fangirls voting for him and it might even be true in his case, but again why is everyone surprised by it. It is literally fans of Max, George or let's say whoever there is against Lando's FANBASE. Other's of course might have driven much better than Lando (as was the case of DOTD in the Austrian GP but I think there was the case voting all closed before the crash happened so no changes could have been made anyways). If it was Lewis in any of those races it still would be other's fans vs Lewis fanbase. And Lewis would win it, I'm sure. Even I get super annoyed at the DOTD but not even a single time have I bothered to vote for the my driver. I'm just too lazy and definitely sure many of us don't or even if we do, it might be less compared to the ones on fanbase.

So, the point is this award is always going to go the famous driver which at times will or will not coincide with the winner. Jeez, I think it was the Monaco GP were at some point Valterri literally had higher percentage of votes just because he gad managed 1 or 2 overtakes during the race. So if you're down there on the ig bad mouthing a driver just because he is getting consistent DOTD, you're just barking up the wrong wall. Because, if the official accounts can take up adoption jokes in their tweets, they are very much aware and online enough to know the amount of people who are getting irked by the DOTD and still will not change it. So at the end of the day, hundreds of people are down in the ig comments saying this and that deserved that, and thousands of people will be with their own set of horrible comments setting up a chain reaction down there. So, at the end ultimately DOTD will continue to exist and you will lament blah blah blah, but FIA ultimately wins because hey any publicity is good publicity.

DOTD is not going to be abandoned probably guys, because at the end of the day it is one way of telling people that see, at least you're involved in one decision. It is fans against fanbase, and the latter would also win. (I write this because it is incredibly annoying and honestly disgusting to watch some of the ig comments, discrediting a driver just because he's getting DOTD or even here using the 'anti' tags. Because if you're the one with all the hateful comments then you might be allowing too much f1 into your daily life and probably should not, coming from someone who is ready to get done with the last weekend and how much it occupied my mind..😖😖).

[imthebadguyyy]

Temporary Fix

Pairing - Lewis Hamilton x Reader (fem!F1 driver!reader)

Fandom - F1

Summary - You're the only female F1 driver, and you're damn good at your job. Oh, and you also have a friends with benefits relationship with a certain 7x World Champion.

Warnings - smut, best friends -> lovers, slight exhibitionism

A/N - you have the second merc seat in this, so Valterri isn't here : (( not proof read

Sometimes, you hated yourself for following your passion. Driving a F1 car had been your dream ever since you could remember. The long process from karting to F1 had been a difficult one. When you were seven, you had a go kart track manager that you couldn't race there because you were a girl. That had cemented your will to be the best you could be, and you had done it.

You had made it into a Mercedes F1 seat after spending two years in Williams. It was safe to say that you were one of the best drivers, with killer instinct and an excellent eye for overtakes. The likes of Mika Hakkinen, Niki Lauda, Jacques Villeneuve and others had praised your skills, naming you one of the best talents in the current driver pool.

But the glory, the fame, the praise, sometimes you wished you could just evaporate into thin air. This was one of those times. Press conferences sucked, they really did. Reporters and journalists thought they were entitled to ask you the most sexist of questions, brushing them off by saying it was 'just a simple question'. Sometimes the drivers you were paired up with defended you, like Seb or Pierre or Lewis or even Kimi. Sometimes people didn't want to say anything, or they just laughed it off or answered for you.

This was not one of those times. Charles was supposed to be your partner for the press conference, but he wasn't feeling too great so you were on your own. It had started off fine, with the usual questions like 'how are you feeling about the race?' 'is it gonna be a good weekend for Mercedes?' and then it had gone to 'Do you think you being the only woman here, you should have a special suit?' or 'Are you sure it's a good idea for you to continue another year in F1?' that's what had irked you off.

With a roll of your eyes and a shake of your head, you bit back the cutting response that had sprung to your lips, opting to simply look disapprovingly in silence, speaking more words in the quiet. Eventually, the conference was over, and you made your way out of the hall, deep in thought, so lost in your own world, you didn't notice when a pair of arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you into one of the nearby storage closets.

Your protest of "Hey!-" was cut off by a pair of lips pressing to yours, strong arms wrapping around your torso. "Heard you had a bad day with the press" Lewis mumbled against your lips, brow furrowing when you sighed and let your head drop onto his shoulder. "Yeah they're such fucking jerks" you replied, closing your eyes. "I'm sorry you have to deal with them every time" he continued, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead. "Eh, I mean I'd rather not talk about it" you continued, letting your fingers trace a pattern on his chest.

The silence in the room was disturbed by the ringing of Lewis's phone, making you jump softly. "Bono" he answered, looking down at the screen. "Pick it up"

"Hello?"

"Lewis, we're waiting for the meeting? And is Y/N with you?" Bono's voice rang through the tiny closet, as you turned to look at Lewis with wide eyes. Shit, the debrief. "Yeah, I'm coming! Oh, and I'll see if I can find Y/N" he replied, making you suppress a smile. The moment he put the phone down, the both of you burst into giggles, before he leaned down to press another kiss to your lips. "Well, we should go" he said, biting back a smile when you sighed, and cuddled into his shoulder. "Fine"

"But I'll make it up to you tonight baby" he continued, as a shiver ran down your spine. Oh yeah, you two had a friends with benefits situation going on too. No biggie

Except, well, you know you couldn't tell anyone, and you were definitely in love with each other, but I mean, of course it was better to be stupid and just simply refuse to acknowledge those feelings for each other.

♥︎☾☁︎

It had happened, when Lewis won his championship in Turkey. The team had thrown a (socially distant) party, and you had gotten just a little more drunk than you should have, but the champagne was flowing, tequila shots were being taken, beer was being chugged so you just jumped in and had a few more glasses of wine than you should have, and participated in a few rounds of shots.

Before you had known, a pair of hot lips had crashed onto yours, and your arms had tightly held onto a broad pair of shoulders, as the pair of you had stumbled up to your hotel room, crashing backwards onto the bed. Your drunken mind had been sober enough to recognise the 'Still I Rise' tattoo across his back when he tugged his shirt off.

At the same time, Lewis had recognised your face, heart speeding up ever so slightly because holy shit he was making out with you, and he really, really liked you. Before he knew it, your dress was down to your knees, and his shirt was a rumpled mess on the floor, your friendship gone far beyond repair, but only in the best way possible.

The next morning, you had let out a groan when the sunshine had flashed into your eyes, rolling over to find Lewis lying next to you, his arm wrapped around your waist as he slept peacefully. Your heart rate had sped up, and you had shot up, scaring the living day light out of Lewis. He had awoken with a start, confusion present in his brown eyes, before realization had sunk in, and he had shot out of bed, wrapping one of the towels around his lower body.

But before the two of you could get awkward, he had strutted over to you, grabbing your face in his hands before pulling you in for a kiss that made you feel weak and light headed.

And then the both of you came to the conclusion that you two wanted something loose and flexible, something fun with no commitment.

But was it what you wanted?

♥︎☾☁︎

Sometimes debriefs could drag on. And on. And on. Eventually, the engineers left the room, leaving only Toto, Lewis, Bono, Angela, James and yourself in the room. Over the years, it had become like a family for you, and you loved them to absolute bits. The mood in the room had changed, as you all joked around for a while.

Watching from the other side of the room, Lewis couldn't help the smile that etched itself onto his face, when he saw you throw your head back with laughter at something Toto said, inhaling sharply when your neck came into clear view, a sudden urge to mark you up settling in on his body.

It was a thrill, to think of how many times you had come undone on his fingers and his tongue, how many nights you begged for him to fill you up with his cock. It was a thrill to think of all the times he had cried your name out in ecstasy while your tongue worked wonders around him. And yet, here you were, acting as if you two were just best friends, not two people who could barely keep their hands off of each other.

Just two nights ago, he had made you scream his name so loud, the person the next room, who just happened to be Daniel, had not let him hear the end of it. Thankfully, the Aussie hadn't realized it was you in his bed. Two nights ago, he had made you see stars, and after that you had rewarded him with the performance of his life to Nights Like This by Kehlani.

Snapping back to reality when a slight poke was applied to his shoulder, Lewis looked over to see Angela looking at him with a slight smirk on her face. He strongly suspected that the woman definitely had some sort of inkling about the both of you. How ? No idea. But she was a crazy smart woman, and was bound to have figured out that he was seeing someone.

It didn't help that atleast half the people on the grid had at some point teased him, telling him the both of you were made for each other. It was like the universe was pushing the both of you to be together, and he kept pushing it away

"So are we feeling confident going into this weekend?" Toto asked, grabbing his attention from the smirking blonde.

"Yup!" Your cheery answer elicited a smile from everyone in the room. "Yeah I think so" he said, watching as you flashed him a quick smile. "Okay, then, I think we're done for now. Any questions?" Bono asked, scanning a data sheet in front of him. "No, i'm good" you replied, reaching over to grab your phone. "Yeah me too" Lewis said, far too concerned with what was going to happen later that night to pay his full attention to Bono.

"Okay then. We'll see you tomorrow"

And with that they departed. Before Lewis could follow you, a hand grabbed his and he turned to see Angela, Toto and Bono looking at him expectantly. "So whose got you all distracted and flustered?" Angela asked, earning a smirk from Toto. "What? No one" he replied, slapping himself mentally for being all day dreamy during a meeting. "Oh really? I'm willing to bet you didn't hear anything I said during the meet except the last bit" Bono said, smiling when his driver got visibly flustered.

"So do we know her?" Angela continued, watching him closely for any giveaway reactions. "How would you know her if I don't like anyone?" Lewis said, hoping to God it didn't come across as awkward as it sounded.

"Never said you liked anyone. I'm saying you're in love with someone" Angela said, watching as her friend's eyes widened in shock, and he shook his head profusely. "Okay are you on something? I'm just gonna head back to the hotel now" he murmured, confused, and somewhat taken aback by her bluntness.

Ignoring the looks on the others faces, he made his way out to the paddock, trying his hardest to make sense of his feelings. Was a casual relationship with you what he wanted? He wanted so much more than that.

Lewis knew, deep down in his heart, that he wanted to hold your hand in public, and kiss you right on the lips in front of everyone when you shared a podium. He wanted to be able to call you his, to not just spend the night with you, but to spend all his days with you. But you didn't want that.

Or so he thought.

♥︎☾☁︎

Back at the hotel, Lewis busied himself with working out, trying to push all his frustrations out via the workout. He knew that you were going to turn up in the night, and he looked so damn forward to seeing you each night, but god, he hated it when you left in the morning. Every morning when your warm body slipped out from under the sheet, his arms would tighten for a moment, before your giggle would bring him back to reality and he'd hastily draw back, smiling at you. His favourite moment was when he came to your hotel room in Spain. In the morning, he had woken up before you, and before leaving, he had pressed a little kiss to your forehead. The most gorgeous smile had curled onto your lips, and his heart had melted into a little puddle when you rested your cheek on his hand

And then in Monaco, when he had taken you to his apartment, you had woken up before him, and he had woken up to the sight of you bringing a tray of pancakes and fruits, followed by a soft kiss to his cheek.

It was those moments he cherished, but it was those same moments that confused him.

His train of thought was broken when a knock echoed in the room, as he walked over to the door, opening it to find : you

"Hey" you greeted him, walking in and shedding your jacket. "Hey" he replied, reaching for a towel to wipe the sweat off of his body. "Wow um, is this a bad time?" You asked, eyes trailing down his abs, watching as his body glistened in the fading sun light. "No its fine, I just finished my workout. You hungry?" He continued, biting back a smirk when he saw your eyes roaming his body.

"W-what? Yeah, i, um, suppose - yeah" you murmured, mind already far down the gutter.

"For food darling, not for sex" he said, making you blush and let out a small gasp. "Lewis!" You chided, shoving him softly. "You know you were thinking it" he mumbled, pushing you up against the wall. "Yeah I was" you whispered back, yanking him forward by his shoulders, slamming your lips against his.

Lifting you up from the waist, he pressed his body further into yours, one of his hands wandering down to your ass, squeezing harshly, earning a moan from your lips. Taking the opportunity, he pushed his tongue into your mouth, groaning when you let your core grind against him.

Leading you towards the bed, he stopped in confusion when you stopped him, maneuvering him towards the balcony. "Want you to fuck me against the window or in the balcony" you gasped out, earning a moan from him.

"Right where anyone could see us, hmm? Didn't know you were into that baby" he growled, grabbing your earlobe in between his teeth, earning an airy gasp from you, as the wetness threatened to seep down your legs.

"Mmhmm" was all you could muster, your mind so clouded with desperation you couldn't form a single coherent thought. The only thing you were aware of was that only Lewis could make you feel the pleasure you wanted to feel, only he would take you to that little piece of heaven, only he would hold your hand and fuck you into oblivion, and he would still be there to clean you down with a sponge softly.

"If you insist"

Grabbing you roughly, he slammed your body against the massive hotel room window, ripping the mercedes team shirt you were wearing off of your quivering form, letting it drop to the floor, before he hooked his fingers into the material of your jeans, tugging the denim down your legs

With a soft groan, you pulled his nike shorts down his legs, moaning when his cock came into view, the throbbing in between your legs making you whimper, arousal and need growing tenfold in your tummy.

"Please" you whispered, meeting his eyes, so he could see the pure desperation in your eyes. "Please what?" He said, a certain roughness you hadn't heard before creeping into his voice

"Please fuck me" you moaned, gasping when he brought his hand up to your neck, squeezing ever so slightly. "Oh trust me doll, i will. But first, i want to have you dripping wet and ready for me. I want to make you cum on my fingers, so you're wet and ready for my cock. Do you want my fingers princess?" he continued, feeling his arousal grow when you whimpered and whined.

"Words baby girl. Or I'll just leave you here with your pathetic fingers. I bet you can't even reach all those spots inside you that make you scream, when your tiny little fingers try to please yourself. I bet you just feel like sinking into yourself, but the thought of my fingers keeps you awake. Do you do that, sweet girl? Do you pretend your fingers are mine when you're touching yourself, hmm?'

When you didn't answer, he delivered a smack to your ass, groaning when you moaned at the pleasurable sting. "Yes" you whispered abashed.

"Don't be shy baby. Its okay. I know you feel so good when I love on you. I can see it when you scream my name" and with that, his pointer finger began circling your clit, rubbing circles around it before shifting so he was rubbing the sensitive bud directly.

Your moans of ecstasy were music to his ear, a smile gracing his features, as he let his middle finger slip into you, thrusting it in and out of you. Your soft cry of "fuck" cracked when he shoved his pointer into you as well, scissoring them in and out of you

"Oh fucking hell Lew-" "Shh my darling, i didn't say you could talk, did I?" He said, fingers working at an indescribably quick pace, as the knot in your tummy tightened and threatened to loosen. "I'm gonna-" "go ahead baby" he murmured, using his pointer and thumb to pinch your clit roughly, as you came around his fingers with a scream

"Good girl. You wanna put that pretty little mouth to use somewhere else?" he asked, watching as you dropped to your knees eagerly, (just like I would do irl) reaching up to rest your hands on his hips.

"Someone's eager to suck my cock hmm? Be a good girl for me, and don't waste time" he ordered, a shudder running down his body when your nails traced the veins on his cock, and then as they reached downwards, your thumb circling his tip, collecting his pre cum on your finger. Then you shoved your thumb in your mouth, swirling your tongue around it, before sucking softly on your digit, rolling your eyes back. You were snapped back to reality when Lewis roughly yanked your head up, pure arousal clouding his pupils

"You better use your mouth right now, or i swear i will leave you here alone to pleasure yourself" he threatened, moaning when you took his tip into your mouth at once, sucking softly before swirling your tongue upwards.

The feel of your tongue on him made him buck his hips into your mouth, the unexpected movement pushed him quite far back in your mouth, looking up at him, you hollowed out your cheeks, taking more and more of his cock into your mouth, the sounds he was making above you fuelling you. You took him as far back as you could without gagging, as a strangled moan of "Fuck Y/N!"left his lips. He grabbed your hair, tugging upwards, the tingling on your scalp sending shockwaves of pleasure through you. "Fuck baby, you're gonna have to stop now, I really want to fuck you now" he growled out, pulling you up before pushing you towards to balcony railing

Lining up with your entrance, he watched as you let out a shaky breath, eyes falling shut, as you clenched in anticipation.

"Are you sure you want this Y/N?" he asked, eyes searching your face for any sign that he was being too rough, or that you didn't want what was coming next

"Turning your head around to face him, you pulled him in for a passionate kiss. "I've never been more sure baby" was your affirming reply.

Kissing you back with the same fervour, he slowly pushed into you from behind, the both of you groaning in sync when your walls enveloped him. "fuck you feel so good darling. So fucking tight" lewis moaned, making you moan as well as the pleasure coursed through your veins.

Reaching around you, Lewis rubbed your clit while he continued to snap his hips against yours, making your breasts bounce against your chest, your hands gripping the balcony railing for dear life. Thank god it was dark.

He continued to rub and pinch you clit, before swiping his fingers through your wet folds. Then he shoved his fingers into your mouth, prompting you to suck on them

"Be an angel and suck on my fingers for me" he growled, moaning when your mouth eagerly closed around his fingers, sucking them with fervour.

Snapping his hips into you desperately, his hands encircled your waist, pulling you back to meet his thrusts, swishing his fingers around in your mouth. "Fuck baby thats it, i'm gonna cum" he groaned, capturing your earlobe in between his teeth, moaning when you clenched down on him again

"Oh fucking hell-" with a moan, he came into you, pulling his fingers out of your mouth to rub your clit again, sighing with satisfaction when you came around him with a scream of "Lewis!"

Panting, he dragged you back to the bed, both of you collapsing into the covers.

Your chest rising and falling rapidly, you curled up into his chest, letting your head droop onto his shoulder, as his fingers traced his initials onto your hip.

"Well princess, we seem to have a problem here" he said, as you snapped your head up to look at him in confusion.

"I think i'm in love with you"

♡☾☁︎

A/N - part 2? Also feel free to drop a comment, i'd really appreciate it 🤍 thank you so much for reading 🤍

[gothicwidowsworld]

I miss you V.B

“Do you not think you’ve drunk enough coffee?” Y/N laughed, spotting the Mercedes Driver nursing his warm beverage, it was probably his first of many. Valtteri shrugged silently, adjusting his stance, a gentle smile making its home on his pale features. “You want some?” the Fin offered awkwardly holding the paper cup out to the Horner girl. “No thank you, not really supposed to.” Y/N replied in a hushed tone her y/s/c hands coming to settle on her stomach. Nodding in understanding the Fin retracted his hand. “Congratulations by the way.” the usually quiet man stated “I’m sure you and Max will be fantastic parents.” He added cringing slightly at the jealousy laced in his tone. He was a grown man but the envy he felt rushing through his veins were that of a school child.

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh at the reserved man. “Yes I’m sure we would be if I was having a child with him.” The y/h/c girl shivered at the thought of coparenting with Max. Don’t get me wrong the dutchman was an amazing and loyal friend but Y/N was surprised the man could look after himself at times let alone a tiny human. The Austin crowd filled the silence that fell over the pair, the boisterous American audience permanently filling the air with cheers and chants “Mulla onikävä sua” the y/h/c woman mumbled softly her heart almost having palpitations at the thought of making things awkward. Y/N’s finnish wasn’t perfect but it was dispherable and Valterri couldn’t help the warm feeling that filled his chest every time he heard her attempt his mother tongue. “I miss you too.” the man replied quietly ignoring the odd looks the pair received. It was an odd sight to behold; they couldn’t argue that a well known member of Mercedes talking to and seemingly enjoying an equally well known Red Bull guest. “I was worried you hated me.” Y/N exclaimed weakly anxiously twisting the small silver ring that sat on her index finger. “I could never hate you, I'm just confused.” the man stated gruffly, taking a sip of his cooling coffee. “Is it mine?” Valtteri quizzed the girl, an eyebrow raised. “Of course it is Valtteri.” Y/N replied, tucking a strand of her y/h/c locks behind her ear.

Nodding sharply the older man couldn’t hide his small grin “Ok that’s good to know.” Valtteri wasn’t exactly well known for his tantalising conversation but now he had an excuse. He was stunned, he was going to be a father. Putting his now empty cup of caffeine aside the Mercedes driver couldn’t help but flicker his eyes over the y/h woman’s y/b/t figure. “Sä teet mut tosi onnelliseks” the man admitted a small smile filling his pale features moving forward to gently hug the girl.

[smoooothoperator]

I am going to talk about something: F1 as Orchestra

(This is based on my own orchestra experience)

Lewis Hamilton-Violin

Definitely a first violin of the orchestra

Had been the concertino for so long

The friend of the conductor that always is joking around with

Valterri Bottas-French Horn

He has me that metal wind face

He doesn't play always, and when he's waiting he plays with his phone

He's the one that creates the inside jokes on his section

Max Verstappen-Cello

He has that face of passion (yeah, his neutral face)

Like, imagine that he plays one of the most difficult pieces for cello

THAT face is absolutely beautiful

Obviously the principal

Sergio Perez-Guitar

His Mexican blood wants him to play Luke a mariachi

But he's good at what he does

Always joking with Max telling him the typical "Oh, is that a guitar what you wear inside that case?"

Max kills him

Lando Norris-Viola

I am violist too, I recognise someone of my same specie

He's a dork, but a lovely one

Tries to play a part but his fingers are so lazy and sometimes he gets confused with all the notes on the score

Maybe the principal, definitely the first atril

Daniel Ricciardo-Viola

Lando's partner in crime

They are the first atril of the orchestra that always laugh when something goes wrong

I used to do that

He is the one that it takes him so long to tune the instrument

Charles Leclerc-Piano

I mean. He is a pianist

No more explanation

Not the diva one for sure

Carlos Sainz-Cello

HE REMAINDS ME OF A ACTUAL CELLIST!!!(Pablo Ferrández. Listen to him, minute 4:39. )

I mean, you know that intense gaze he has when he is looking to nowhere? Yeah

With him, playing a cello seems to be easy (is not)

Pierre Gasly-Cello

All of them are cellist wtf I am making a nice cello section

I think he isnthe one that has nice skills for orchestra and works nice

Sometimes he gets frustrated but when he gets something good he nailed it

Yuki Tsunoda-Violin

A prodigy. No more to say

He is Asian. All the Asians are violinists and all of them are fantastic

He's a little friki of the violin

Fan of Two Set Violin

Sebastian Vettel-Clarinet

There's a clarinettist on the orchestra of my city that is like him

He's smiley, jokes, and plays while he dance on his chair

Love to teach, btw

Lance Stroll-Percussion

He gives me those vibes

Like, he loves playing the timbales (Idk how they say it in english)

Definitely will be the one that wakes up Kimi

Fernando Alonso-Conductor

Of course

Everybody admires him, so everybody does what him wants

He's friendly, the typical conductor that gifts all the flower bouquets to the women on the orchestra we are like the 3% of the people there

Likes to tell the origin of the pieces they are playing

Esteban Ocon-Oboe

Don't know why

He reminds me of a friend too

Likes to have solos and tries his best to impress the conductor aka Alonso

George Russel-Piano

Maybe a little Diva but in a good way

Like, he knows he's good and likes to show it

Definitely goes to a lot of competitions

Passion. He is a passionate musician and he gives everything of his soul on the keys

Nicholas Latifi-Trumpet

I think he would be a nice trumpetist

I actually don't have much to say about this

Is like. I was thinking What instrument Nick would play? And BOOM trumpet.

Kimi Räikkönen-Percussion

This is gold

Okay. You know that video of Kimi sleeping on the car waiting?

Well, he would fall asleep waiting to play just one time in the entire piece

But hey, when he has to play that only bar, he plays it well

Antonio Giovinazzi-Cello

Just imagine: him, with a ponytail or a bun, with a cello between his legs

Plays with a lot of passion

Not the bests of the section, maybe third atril?

Mick Schumacher-Violin

His father was the concretino

Started playing at a young age and he's one of the best of the orchestra

Maybe coprincipal hm... yeah

The rookie. Everytime he fails he turns around and apologise. Or when it's his birthday he brings chocolate

Nikita Mazepin-Bass

Not that I hate him.......

But he will definitely be the one that plays a bar after

Always laughing and annoying the conductor

And annoying the entire orchestra

[moonrver]

I said I a sigular person liked my post I would write a smash or pass list of the current f1 grid and @veryspecificfantasies did like it but it took me two whole weeks to write it somehow

So here is smash or pass: f1 from someone who is both very inexperienced and slightly prudish in the real world but has extensive Opinions

lewis: so we all know he's the most attractive on the grid, like its not up for debate in my opinion BUT.... .idk there's just something very dom about him? And I'm really not into that, like its so uncomfortable to me. We would not be compatible. So for that reason alone I'm gonna respectfully say pass (also apparently he's into feet and I just. I can't even think about that)

george: i go to Oxford so I've met 1000 george russells in the past few years. He's either a raging mansplaining tory or he's just kind of wooden and... southern. And I just feel like he wouldn't be that good in bed? Pass.

max: pass

checo: if he was younger I'd probably say smash bc he seems like a real romantic but I just see him as such a dad so im saying pass

charles: idk how compatible we'd be but ugh that face, how could I not? Smash.

carlos: literally ges like a mills and boon romance novel love interest. He is the definition of STEAMY. The luscious hair, the intense eyes, the lips, the abs. He would treat me right, I would have the night of my life. Smashhhh

daniel: of course I'm gonna smash. This man gave me an entire sexual awakening, I want to bite his nose. Can't tell if he'd be a freak of very intense and loving but either way it would be fun, he wouldn't stop talking, and you'd cuddle afterwards :)

lando: girlies he just doesn't do it for me. And he's so whiney and awkward and combined with my prudishness we'd either never make it that far or would have the most unpleasurable 3 minute sex known to man.

pierre: he's a freak he's a slut he's a hoe his abs make me go insane I would smash maybe once for the night of my life. He would not make me breakfast and would not text me.

yuki: this applies to lando too but im kind of short man phobic? I know that's a bad thing to say but its true, I'm a curvy gal and I feel insecure when im with men smaller than me so it just wouldn't work with yuki. but he is the driver I would most like to hang out with, he seems so fun and we could go shopping and eat good food :)

esteban: hear me out. There has always been something about este ive been into. He's got the height going for him but I also think he's an underrated hottie (and also looks just like the guy I was getting with from work....). And he's the driver I could see myself most realistically dating cos he's the right level of sweetheart. I dont know if he'd necessary be...Good? In bed at first? But he would be very...loving And try v hard :))) smash and date

fernando: short man phobic and also he's a but scary so pass but maybe as a younger man...

valterri: OK so idk if I'd be immediately into him but I feel like we'd get drunk together in an old pub or a snowy cabin or something and have a great time and really make each other laugh and id find myself increasingly drawn to him and then I just feel like he would give his ALL in bed, like he would work SO HARD and be SO INTENSE and it would be really hot and then he would make me a coffee and a nice snack and maybe we'd cuddle.

guanyu: I know so little about him other than his impeccable prada fits so im saying pass but this is subject to review

seb: rn his hair and bear put me off but like ferrari era...or even last year? There's just something about him? He' would......seduce me? So maybe smash idk???

lance: OK so with his older hair? With the swoopy fringe? Such a smash, i found him so hot and he has beautiful eyes but I hate his current hair sm id have to pass

alex: exact same as este, he has the height and he seems like the sweetest bf

nicky: pass, I'm just not into him

kevin: im on the fence...idk..hes a good looking guy so maybe smash? But I don't care too much either way

mick: this boyyy yes absolutely smash but not smash make love and stare into each others eyes and get married and grow old together :) :) :)

[feelsdemandtobefelt]

okay I didn’t really get tagged in this per se but @huskyandbeautiful​ kindly and very specifically tagged “everyone” and i’m bored so I'll take it <33

Would die for you

lando norris: lmao r u kidding of course anything for my unicorn gremlin king

daniel ricciardo: aussie solidarity, plus he’s so funny and sweet and sunshiney

alex albon: a soft boy who deserves only good things

lewis hamilton: absolute icon, a woke king, I would absolutely die for him but he probably wouldn’t let me

sebastian vettel: that’s MY emotional support part-time farmer/human encyclopaedia/sarcastic bitch

Love you but wouldn’t die for you

george russell: listen he’s a legend and he knows it but unfortunately he has the exact same accent as my douchebag lecturer and I just can’t get past that

pierre gasly: manic pixie dream girl, total sweetheart, when he said “congrats to max” it obliterated me but I just don’t love him as much as the top tier

I like you

esteban ocon: my sweet summer child

romain grosjean: great guy trying his best, unfortunately cannot help but be boring

Don’t know enough to have an opinion

daniil kvyat: sorry u funky lil russian but the only thing I know abt u is that time u Torpedo’d

antonio giovinazzi: has this man ever had screen time on anything ever ? all I know is Hair

Used to hate but now I don’t

sergio perez: kinda thought u were a dick after watching the netflix series, now I just think ur Fine I Guess

Used to love but now I don’t

carlos sainz jr: this is why we can’t have nice things

charles leclerc: somebody pls confiscate his phone

max verstappen: ,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wish it didn’t have to be this way

[ this is my opinion of the drivers as real people however I will continue to enjoy the fictional projections of them that we portray in fandom spaces bc life is sad and pretending drivers are in love with each other is fun ]

Never liked

kevin magnussen: suck my balls mate

kimi raikkonen: idk why anyone finds his rude attitude and temper tantrums funny noah fence

valterri bottas: he didn’t do anything wrong this man simply does not pass the vibe check. sorry to this man.

Y’all just vibe, you're cool

lance stroll: sorry I truly don’t get the hype for those that love him, but also fuck anyone that bullies him for no good reason

nicholas latifi: this tier is basically just “don’t know enough to have an opinion” but Canadian.

THESE ARE JUST MY OPINIONS AND I AM STILL OPEN TO CHANGING THEM SO PLS DON’T BE MAD IF I’VE MAJORLY MISJUDGED SOMEONE

I tag @anybodyhavealaurens​ and @shatterkirk​, y’all don’t have to do it but if ur bored and want a tag to do then here u go

[boysthatgovroomvroom]

I was tagged by the wonderful @formulola thank you so much hun☺️

Would die for you

Lando Norris - I don't think an explanation is needed here

Sebastian Vettel - My first f1 crush and the reason I really got into f1. Such a nice guy and I hope hell have a seat next year 😩

Daniel Ricciardo - one of the funniest dudes on the grid. With him f1 started to appeal to me more and more because he had laughs and wasn't that serious all the time

Love you but wouldn't die for you

George Russell- Give this man a good car ffs. He deserves better. So talented and such a nice person

I like you

Alex Albon - Protect this bean at all costs. He deserves better than red bull. Get him away from that toxic team

Don't know enough to have an opinion

Antonio Giovinazzi

Romain Grosjean

Checo Perez

Valterri Bottas

Nicolas Latifi

Esteban Ocon

Used to hate but now I don't

Lewis Hamilton - I used to really, like really dislike him. I still don't like him as a driver but he's warmed up to me when I saw how he supports all these charities and of course BLM

Used to love but now I dont

Charles Leclerc - I don't think we have to talk about this now

Carlos Sainz - I didn't love him but he has shown with his actions and statements that I can't support him

Never liked

Kevin Magnussen - idk... Just never vibed with him.. Kinda dangerous tho

Lance Stroll - I know some people really like him but I just can't get warmed up to him. Maybe this year will change anything

Max Verstappen - just not for me. He was okay when Dan was his team mate. Now I just think he's annoying

Y'all just vibe, you're cool

Kimi Raikkonnen - he's the ice man. He's cool. He just drives as a Hobby. Leave him alone he knows what he's doing.

Daniil Kvyat - the torpedo. So much sadness with him. He has gone through too much.

Pierre Gasly - poor poor bean. Always hope he does well so RBR can suck it

I tag @huskyandbeautiful and everyone else who wants to do it

[sophiewagentje]

Listen is booing a good thing in sports? Not necessarily, but it’s a normal thing in a sport. F1 hasn’t had a lot of booing in the turbo hybrid era (at least to my knowledge) and maybe it’s a sport in which the concept of booing doesn’t fit but that differs per person.

The booing this season started with Silverstone and it was a very normal reaction of fans who have seen something that makes them angry and upset. But the booing doesn’t automatically make all those people racists. Are there racists between them? Of course, those people will unfortunately always be there. But those few people do not define a fan base.

Also, why is everything always not correct when it’s about Lewis, but it’s fine when it happens to one of the other drivers? It baffles me that people can be of the opinion that everything that happens to other drivers is alright, but when it happens to their fave it’s awful and not right etc.

And this is not just between Max and Lewis, but also with things like the hate Nicky got or the mental problems Valterri and Lando talked about… can’t we just focus on our own favourites and support others when they’re getting hate? Put more effort into supporting your own favourites and a lot less in hating on other?

and while booing is part of most sports. it isnt that big in f1 with drivers who are not black (yes max was booed but he isnt often and hardly any other drivers get booed in such a manner with so many fans engaging with it). like i sai i know you are a max fan (i am too and wish him to win) but being silent and not objecting to the abuse lewis is getting (because lets face it it is slightly racially motivated like this really cant be countered as a fact) but objecting when it affects max is wrong as a fan of the sport. you can not like merc and still not stand for this. they arent mutually exclusive concepts #get a grip

I needed to get this outta my inbox.

Lewis was booed after Silverstone…after he sent Max into the wall at 51gs, he made shit as fuck comments about Max and Max’s fans booed him because of the shit he has been talking about Max. Yes there probably were racist wankers who like Max just cause they are racist I am not denying that and they are not fucking fans of Max.

But for people to get pissy about Lewis getting booed at races such as Hungary or Zandvoort but laugh and make comments, nasty as fuck comments about Max being booed that’s when I get annoyed. If you do not like booing for one then should it not be for all?? I don’t like Merc at all cause they helped add on some of the shit Max got.

Booing is in each and every sport. City vs Man United, Chelsea vs Spurs, Barca vs Madrid, Ireland vs England. I fucking booed during rugby games Ive got too it happens and yes it’s really only happening this season because of how much of a rivalry was created but if you dislike booing for one then it is for all. The comments thrown at Max after the booing were awful.

So yes #get a grip.

[yahoo-puck-daddy-blog]

What We Learned: When will sellers start selling?

When will the first domino fall ahead of the NHL trade deadline?

The thing with the NHL is that everyone thinks they’re in the playoff hunt right up until they’re mathematically eliminated from it. And it’s in no way revelatory to say that’s because of the points system, which ensures that as long as you can get to overtime regularly, it really doesn’t matter how bad you are. You’re always going to look like you’re a three-game winning streak away from being right in the thick of it.

After Saturday night’s games, 11 of the 16 teams in the Eastern Conference were either in a playoff spot or within a point of it. Out west, 12 of 15 were only as far as two points back. There are various issues with games in hand here, of course, given that we’re still sorting through bye weeks — which, by the way, it’s incredibly stilly that the league’s bye-week plan this season was “half the league is off one week, the other half the next” — but overall, well, the points system is working as intended.

The NHL and its members teams want to be able to sell competition to fans, which is understandable and fine, because that theoretically wrings a few extra dollars from the gate at every NHL game. When teams are playoff-competitive, they’re more interesting to fans. Makes perfect sense.

But man does it also make the month before the trade deadline boring and bad. There’s no deader spot in the schedule than Games 40-60, and that there are basically no sellers in the league right now despite all the evidence in the world that there are a ton of teams that just aren’t that good is a real problem.

Take Florida, for instance. They ended Saturday seven points out of the final Eastern Conference playoff spot, held by the Penguins. Seven points might as well be a mile, especially because there are three teams between them and the reigning Cup champs. And yet, Dale Tallon says he will only make a trade if it makes sense in the long-term planning surrounding the team. He also said, “We’re not in the playoffs right now, so we have to get there.” Which is to say that this team is either going to buy or doing very little in the coming weeks.

It’s not that the Panthers have too many guys they would likely be interested in moving, or which teams would be interested in trading for, but this attitude is illustrative of a wider problem in the NHL: Everyone believes in their heart of hearts that they’re just a trade or two away from being competitive. We, of course, know this isn’t the case; unless the Panthers are trading futures for Connor McDavid (and hey, he might be available for the right price!) they’re not getting into the postseason, full stop.

Likewise, the Ottawa Senators, whose record is even worse than the Panthers’, acknowledge that their sesaon is effectively over and is now exploring trade possibilities (at least in terms of which guys would fetch what prices), but note that it’s “too early to throw in the towel yet.” It, of course, is quite the opposite; the towel could have been safely thrown in at any point in the past month and a half at least.

Montreal also said this past week it wasn’t going to throw in the towel. Edmonton is apparently only making Anton Slepyshev available right now. Vancouver is in the middle of what is apparently a model rebuild (haha) but they’re not ready to trade Thomas Vanek quite yet.

Even Arizona, dead last in another lost season, hasn’t made the call to put Oliver Ekman-Larsson on the block. This is a guy every GM in the league would push their grandmothers in front of a bus to acquire, on a team so bad it could safely talk about selling a month ago, and yet the apparent issue is that they’re asking for the moon (two good roster players and a first-round pick). That is, of course, the benefit of selling in a clear seller’s market, but Ekman-Larsson is a 26-year-old All-Star signed for this season and next at a low price ($5.5 million AAV, but more than that in real dollars), so teams should be more interested than they apparently are.

Arizona’s only move was the Duclair-to-Chicago swap a few days ago, but that was precipitated by a trade demand, rather than the team actively seeking out something that works. And by the way, if we’re calling Arizona a seller right now, then the seller lost that trade badly, which is usually how it works when trades are demanded.

The only team to apparently grasp nice and early that their season was over was Buffalo, which was rumored to be putting everyone not-named Jack Eichel up for sale as soon as early December. And yet the only trade they’ve actually made to this point was to acquire Scott Wilson from Detroit for a fifth-round pick in 2019, so by that token, Buffalo was actually a buyer.

This is one of those things where everyone acknowledges that the market is tighter than it should be. It’s also broadly believed that, a) as soon as one trade happens, some dominoes will start to fall, and b) someone should do something soon to make sure it’s not this tight until the week and a half before the deadline. But no one seems particularly interested in actually doing that.

It’s tough to tell when, exactly, something is going to shake loose. The Duclair trade, and whatever happens with Jack Johnson in the next week or two after he likewise asked out of Columbus, aren’t going to qualify as the start of selling season.

Because if you’re the buying team making such a trade right now, you’re still paying gallon prices for half-gallon players. And if you’re a seller, you’re the first seller to say, “Well that’s it for us.” And it apparently doesn’t matter whether you’re six, 10, or even 24 points out: No GM wants to be That Guy. Probably because That Guy has a greater likelihood of also being That Guy when ownership decides it’s time to make a change in the front office.

And the entire league is less interesting as a result.

What We Learned

Anaheim Ducks: Kings-Ducks on Saturday night was a real good one. The right team won it too.

Arizona Coyotes: This all seems just about right.

Boston Bruins: Kind of amazing Chara hasn’t put more people in the hospital with that shot of his.

Buffalo Sabres: I cannot tell you how imperative it is to team offense to have literally any defensemen who can move the puck out of their own zone. The Sabres have a half-decent top-six forward group but they never score because no one can get those guys the puck. This is the problem, to a lesser extent, in Edmonton too. Not hard to figure out.

Calgary Flames: They might be making the run they need, gang.

Carolina Hurricanes: This is the kind of thing all owners say but it’s tough to guess whether the right investments will actually be made going forward.

Chicago: For real, though, why on earth do NHL teams keep giving good players to Chicago for basically nothing, or worse, to help them alleviate their cap problems? Does Bowman have Kompromat on everyone?

Colorado Avalanche: I gotta remember to write about the Avs soon. What a fun team, and they just keep winning.

Columbus Blue Jackets: Guarantee the Blue Jackets are like, “Oh jeez, no not that, Jack. Please don’t demand a trade. We would hate that. We want to keep you. You’re good at hockey. Please Jack.”

Dallas Stars: Well hey everyone is losing to Colorado these days, huh? I’m not worried about the Stars!

Detroit Red Wings: One assumes Ted Kulfan had this column written on Oct. 1.

Edmonton Oilers: Love to pick up an OT win in Vegas on Connor McDavid’s 21st birthday right before the team goes on the bye.

Florida Panthers: Man, what a headline!

Los Angeles Kings: Imagine being so good at just saying stuff about hockey on TV that they build a statue of you. Good lord.

Minnesota Wild: The bottom of the Central is a total mess. After Saturday’s games, five points separated second from seventh.

Montreal Canadiens: I mean, sure.

Nashville Predators: Ahh, nah though.

New Jersey Devils: Remember when people were like, “The Devils can do this forever?” Well funny story…

New York Islanders: Before we start crowning Mat Barzal as the new Kyle Okposo or Matt Moulson, who scores a bunch for the Islanders but is dependent on John Tavares, consider this: Tavares only has a point on nine of his 44 points and just two of his 15 goals.

New York Rangers: Yeah dude, trade everyone. Who cares.

Ottawa Senators: I legit can’t tell you how much I hate this.

Philadelphia Flyers: Sean Couturier isn’t an All-Star, lol what a league.

Pittsburgh Penguins: I like the Pens to make a run here. Call me crazy but I think they have the talent to put together a nice stretch.

San Jose Sharks: This is gonna get a no-thanks from me.

St. Louis Blues: The Blues for-sure need a body or two to push them into “near-elite” status but what do they give up?

Tampa Bay Lightning: This is the thing I was saying last week about how the Bolts should never play more than three of their five best players in any one game for the rest of the year.

Toronto Maple Leafs: Yeah turns out they need another top-four defenseman. No one could have seen this need coming in the summer, though. Nope.

Vancouver Canucks: This is beyond parody, honestly.

Vegas Golden Knights: This is the most NHL thing in the history of the NHL. It would be mega funny if Vegas has to change its name.

Washington Capitals: Point of order: TJ Oshie isn’t a first-liner. But okay.

Winnipeg Jets: This is why I’m dubious of the Jets as a legitimate Cup threat. Maybe they can trade for Jack Johnson ha ha ha.

Play of the Weekend

Hmm I guess this is impressive.

Gold Star Award

Mat Barzal has two five-point games this season. Connor McDavid has one in his career. Just something to think about.

Minus of the Weekend

Vegas lost to Edmonton. Now that’s embarrassing, gang.

Perfect HFBoards Trade Proposal of the Year

User “duffy9748” wants to improve the Preds (I think).

To NSH:

Wayne Simmonds (50% retained) Valterri Fillpula Robert Hagg

To PHI: Eeli Tolvanen 2018 1st 2019 1st[

Signoff

Uhhh, oh that isn’t smoke, it’s steam. Steam from the steamed clams we’re having. Mmm mmm steamed clams.

Ryan Lambert is a Puck Daddy columnist. His email is here and his Twitter is here.

(All stats via Corsica unless otherwise noted.)