#no harm meant fr it just felt too good to pass up

[shark-prince]

Your DOCTOR is your CROCTOR.

Your DR is your CR.

[thechosenburrito]

Intro to Love: 1.5-The Good, The Bad, and The Unmasked

Word Count: 1,923

Description:

Xochi and Carson head to the library to study and Xochi sees more than one familiar face there.

Author’s Note:

Here’s the end of Chapter 1!  I will warn you that I switch to a 3rd person perspective in the next chapter.  I’m not entirely sold on it and I’m tempted to go back to 1st person perspective.

Previous Chapter: 1.4-Thanks for Ghosting Me

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My heart was still pounding.

"I don't know... good instincts I guess," I said, trying to catch my breath.

I tried to help pull Carson up, but my hands were still shaking.  It took a lot of strength to not let my hand pass through his. I had to clench my jaw to keep my teeth from chattering.  I did my best to smile.

"H-hey, if you wanna call off today it's cool considering we both almost died," I chuckled nervously.

Carson dusted of his backpack before slinging it over his shoulder and taking a good look at his arms.

"Honestly, this isn't the first time I've almost been hit by a car," he said, making sure he wasn't seriously hurt.

"Besides, I'm not bleeding, so no harm, no foul."

He patted me on the back.

"Thanks for not letting me, you know, bleh!" Carson said, sticking his tongue out.

I smiled.

"No problem."

I started walking ahead of him.

"Let's avoid streets from now on!" I called out.

He jogged up to me and we made our way to the library.  Carson would occasionally say hi to seemingly random people.  I felt a pang of...sadness? Maybe jealousy?  I knew a total of 5 people on campus.  Actually, 6 now including Sarah.   How did he know so many people?  Did he actually talk to them?

"Hey, uh, I just wanted to say..."

I snapped back to reality and turned to see Carson gazing off into the distance.

"...well first, thanks for saving me back there."

I smiled.

"No problem.  You would've done the same. At least I hope so!" I said.

He chuckled a bit.

"The other thing is...are you..."

My breath caught in my throat.

He paused for a moment.

"...hungry?" he asked, carefully.

I raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, not right now. But I probably will be after we work if you wanna grab lunch." I said, letting the words just stumble out before I could stop them.

I just met this guy and I'm asking him to get lunch with me.  Well, not really 'just met'.  He clearly believes he knows me at least a little.  Thankfully, the awkwardness of talking to him was starting to wear off.  I definitely didn't wanna give him the idea that I wanted to see more of him.

"Yeah, that sounds good!" he replied as we arrived at the library. "Let's work fast then!"

We walked into the library and headed to the elevator.  The first floor was usually packed full of students during the week.  Some were studying, most we pretending to study, and the rest were probably crying.  The first floor had a small coffee bar, some printers, and was full of computers.  Most people came here just to print or just rest between classes.

We stepped into the elevator and went up to the 4th floor.  The fourth floor was for studying only.  It had several rooms for group studying and even private rooms for when you really need to focus.  We managed to snag a private room and got to work.

I pulled up the document, only to realize Carson had changed the name of the document to "ass fart".  I couldn't hold back the snicker that came out.  He gave me a confused look.

"What's so funny?"

He must've opened the document at that exact time because he started laughing.

"Oh! That! Sorry, I meant to change it back last night!" he laughed nervously.

"Oof, this is embarrassing," he said as he covered his face, still chuckling a little.

I gave a sly smile.

"It's cool.  I name my documents weird shit too so I remember them.  I'll change it back," I said, not changing it back.

I proceeded to change the name of the document to "shit fart" and did my best to put on a poker face.  I got back to working on the project, trying nonsense into the document to look busy.

Carson eventually pulled himself together, only to see what I named the document, and burst into laughter again.  

"Why did you do that?" he asked, trying to catch his breath.

A smile tugged at my lips as I tried to keep a straight face.

"I didn't do anything.  Must've been you." I replied with my best attempt at a serious adult voice.

We went back and forth. "Poop butt", "Commit apoptosis", and "Daddy" were among the several names of our document that were chosen with the same maturity as a high school freshman.  We reached the point where we couldn't breathe and sound didn't come out when we laughed.  

After a couple of hours, we made enough progress to constitute a break.

"Ok, I'm officially too hungry to work," Carson whined as he doubled over, letting his head rest on his laptop.  

I fought the all-consuming impulse to slam the laptop closed on his head.

"Yeah, being productive takes too much energy," I said, leaning my chair back and resting my head against the wall.

He grabbed his laptop and threw it into his bag, slinging it over his shoulder.

"Screw it.  We've made enough progress.  Plus,  I can't concentrate when I'm hungry.  Let's grab some sandwiches from the cafe downstairs," he said as he stood up from the table.

I firmly believed that a small over-priced sandwich didn't count as lunch but I couldn't bring myself to say no to him.  I packed up my things and stood up too.

"Works for me.  Let's go." I said, holding the door open.

When we got to the cafe downstairs,  I paid extra attention to his order.  The goal was to glean secret information from his inner psyche.  Unfortunately, you can't really get from a medium hot coffee and croissant sandwich.  Does this mean he's basic? Probably not.  I pondered what he could infer from me based on my order of a large iced coffee and turkey sandwich.

Carson pulled out his phone.

"Damn.  Sorry to do this but I gotta go," he said, frantically typing away."My roommate spilled something on himself in lab and now he needs a change of pants AND..uh...yeah he needs clothes.  He's stuck in the bathroom.  I'll text you later!"

He jogged out of the library as he shoved the sandwich in his mouth.

"Later!" I called out.

I sat down at a table and started eating my sandwich.  The chair across from me felt particularly empty compared to the tables around me filled with people. I glanced around at the other people in the cramped cafe and a guy with a red bandana in his hair caught my eye.  He was talking to some people at a table across the room.  His clipboard practically screamed 'sign my petition.'.  I tried to listen to what he was saying, but could only catch a couple of words.

"...equality...justice... signature..."

I kept straining to listen but jumped when his head jerked to make eye contact with me.  I furrowed my brows and looked away.  I prayed that I wasn't blushing from embarrassment.

It wasn't long before I heard his footsteps approach my table and felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Excuse me!"

I kept staring at my phone.  I shot him a quick glance before looking back down at it.

"Would you like to sign your name on a petition for Justice and Equality for Striker Students?" he asked cheerily.  

I glanced back at him again and felt my grip on my phone tighten.  The way he was looking at me made my hair stand on end.  I was looking him in the eye, but he was looking right past mine at something deeper and further down.  He had dark brown eyes, but for the life of me, I couldn't tell iris from pupil.  

I desperately fished around my brain for words.

"Are you...what...some kind of grad student?  Is this...like... for research or something?" I managed, quickly looking back at my phone.

I swear I heard him smile.

"Nope! Just an activist!" a clipboard was suddenly thrust into my field of view.  "If you could just print and sign your name, it'll only take a second!"

I look at the names on the list and noticed that a couple of them had a box checked next to them.  Alonzo Alvarez and Elizabeth Jones both had checks by their name.

"Xochi!" called a familiar voice.

I looked up to see Sarah waving at me from outside the cafe.

"Hurry up! " she said.  "Our project is due at midnight!"

I quickly got up and grabbed my food.  Miracles really did exist but at a cost.  I had no idea we had a project.  Let alone that it would be due tonight.  

I muttered something close to 'sorry' at the bandana guy and hurried over to her.  She pulled me by the wrist towards the elevator and mashed the 'close door' button before anyone else could get it.  She breathed a sigh of relief when the elevator started going up.

"Thanks for saving me back there!  So...what's the deal with this project?" I asked.

She looked at me and raised an eyebrow.

"There is no project," she said, pulling out her phone.  "I just said that to get you out of there."

I sighed.

"Oh ok good.  Geez, don't scare me like that!"

I glanced at the elevator buttons and noticed that we were heading back up to the study floor.

"So... if there's no project, where are we going?" I wondered out loud.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened.

"Somewhere we can talk, alone," she said under her breath.

She marched me to a private study room and closed the door.  She set her backpack down and sat at the table.  I followed suit.

"Look," she said, furrowing her brows.  "...this is is going to be a lot to take in so I'm just going to put up my hand and when I'm done talking I'll put it down then you can ask questions, ok? Trust me it'll go a lot quicker that way."

She ran her fingers through her braids and started fiddling with a clip at the end of one.   She still hadn't made eye contact with me.

I felt my stomach pound in my chest.  My stomach was tied up in knots and I felt cold sweat-

"I know you're scared, so I'll cut to the chase," she said, folding her hands on the table.

I nodded.

She let out a sigh before taking a deep breath.

"That man was a Striker with the ability to tell if someone else is a Striker just by looking at them.  He recognized you from earlier when he tried to hit you and came here looking for you.  I don't know why, but based on what I got from him, he may be trying to kidnap you for...something... I'm not sure.  He saw me by then."

She clenched her fists.

"Listen to me.  I know I sound ridiculous, but that man knows you're a Striker now.  If not from this morning then definitely from the cafe.  That guy you were with... Carson?...could be in danger just by knowing you!  And now...I probably am too."

She quickly looked away.

My mind was racing.  I felt numb.  I had to force the words out of my mouth.

"How...do you..."

"Trust me."  She shot up from her seat and put her hands on the table. "

I know because..."

She took another deep breath

"I'm a Stiker too.  Call me Blind Side."

End of Chapter 1

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Next Chapter: 2.1-The Last of the Simple Days

a/n:

Woohoo!  First chapter is finished!  I just need to upload 2.1 and 2.2 and I’m done!  Let me know if you guys want me to do writing games or ask games and stuff.

[anorakofavalon]

Another Way

Reveal AU -- 3x02 -- The Tears of Uther Pendgragon Part 2

Merlin x Morgana

My little twist on it is where the reveal took place. I tried to seek a very terribly timed but still somewhat thematically appropriate place to place a reveal, and I decided on early-to-mid season 3. Because here Morgana is definitely edgier and a little more evil, but still has the potential for good. Idk, I think it’s an interesting line to walk. I hope you enjoy! I might make a couple more based off of this one if the response is good :)

“I thought… because she has magic, I thought we were the same”

“In some ways you are.”

“No. I will never be like her.”

“You have learnt an important lesson, Merlin. Your determination to see goodness in people will be your undoing. But I fear that your futures are now joined forever. She is the darkness to your light, the hatred to your love.”

He felt the darkness course through the roots, the very foundations of Camelot. It spread its way through the Earth, the soil of the city, and up through his body. His head lashed back of its own accord. It clawed up the walls, rumbling in its wake, and then the towers. He felt it reach the sky and thunder roared.

Merlin grimaced and began to run. The dead had risen, and he knew very well who did it.

~{(0)}~

He turned a corner, taking his pained breathing as yet further inspiration to get to his destination quickly. Every footfall took more from his reserves than any spell ever did.

“There are times, Merlin, when you display a sort of... I don't know what it is. I don't want to say... it's not wisdom. But, yes. That's what it is.”

It was a tad bit ironic, given what he was about to do. Arthur wouldn’t be all too happy, probably. But still... He flung his arm out and pulverized a skeleton, and another when it moved to block his path. He took a distinct, twisted pleasure in launching one out of a window. He would have to apologize to Arthur’s ancestors later.

“I don't have time. I need to get back to Camelot. The kingdom is in danger and...it's my fault. I should've listened to you. Should never have trusted Morgana.”

“You did what you felt was right, and that shows great courage, but trust is a double edged sword.”

He stood before the entrance to the catacombs. The gates were flung open, shredded by a force he knew to be magic. It lingered in the air, thick as the darkness he descended into. Merlin’s eyes were golden as he calmly took the steps down. There were skeletons hidden in the darkness but he did not bother with his hands. His magic tore them apart as he passed them.

There was light as he reached the bottom. It was unearthly, pale, a shadow of the sun’s own rays. The magic was putrid and foul and older than Kilgharrah himself. Merlin unsheathed his blade, useless as it would be. His steps were quiet as he turned the corner and saw her standing there. She was bathed in the light of shadows, a vision of twisted beauty. He knew whose fault that was.

He noted the wooden staff in the center of the room, from which the light had been birthed. Its form was as twisted as Morgana’s smile when her head turned to him. He knew from her eyes that she was beginning to comprehend just how significant he was, in the scheme of things. She was beginning to comprehend that he would never stop trying to stop her. She would be right.

Still, her old confidence hadn’t left her, warped as it had begun to become. “You should leave, while you still can.”

The castle rumbled in distress. Lightning’s light striking at the illumination of the moon. Brighter, angrier, more vicious. He thought, briefly, of Nimueh. Was he the lightning? Or was Morgana? Was she the moon and he the sky? The sky thundered, and his heart did too.

���Morgana, please. I beg you. Women and children are dying. The city will fall.”  

She didn’t falter much. “Good.”

Merlin wanted to huff, but that would hardly make things better. She was bluffing and he knew it. But still, his voice wavered. “No, you don’t mean that.”

She faltered then. “I have magic, Merlin. Uther hates me and everyone like me. Why should I feel any differently about him?”

It was strange that she was seeking validation from him, pleading in her own way. Not that she knew what that was like. Morgana had never had to beg for a thing in her life.

“You of all people could change Uther’s mind, but doing this? Using magic like this will only harden his heart.”

Her eyes narrowed in frustration. “You don’t have magic, Merlin. How could you even hope to understand?”

And there it was, the moment of truth. She would hate him, if he told her the truth. If she didn’t already. Merlin wondered if she had truly forgiven him for poisoning her. Did she understand? Would she have done the same?  He couldn’t bring himself to tell her. Kilgharrah and Gaius weighed heavily on his mind. She would tell Uther, or worse still, Arthur.

“I do understand, believe me. If I had your gifts, I would harness them for good. That’s what magic should be for. That’s why you were born with these powers.”

She could scream in frustration, he could tell. He probably could scream in frustration too, but she couldn’t tell. He had been wearing a mask for longer.

She fumed. “You don’t know what it’s like to be an outsider. To be ashamed of how you were born, to have to hide who you are. Do you think I deserve to be executed because of who I am?”

His first memories were of being caressed and cuddled and coddled by his mother Hunith. She was a sweet woman who worked hard and gave him everything she could. His second memories were of his delight when he could summon toys to his hand, when he made candles glow. His third memories were of being called a bastard and not knowing what it meant, except that it made his mother cry.

He remembered being called a demon child. The other children told him he was born in a lightning storm, that he was evil. And when he cried, when he wailed because the things they said hurt, the skies would darken, and rain would fall, and the other children would run to their own families. And lightning would hammer the earth.

They got bolder as they got older though, and Merlin meeker. They would hurt him. They’d push him, punch him. They would throw things at him, too. Sometimes they made him bleed and he wanted nothing more than to hurt them in return but he wouldn’t. Because he was desperate to prove that he wasn’t a monster. He was just a normal boy.

But he wasn’t and he never would be. And he hid his magic, as best he could. But it was never enough. It always slipped from his tight, white-knuckled grasp. It struck out when he most desperately wished that it wouldn’t. And everytime the villagers became more suspicious. Not just resentful of him, but his own mother as well, for spawning a demon.

And his only reprieve from that pain had been Will, who joked him through it. Who took the blame for some of the mischief that Merlin’s magic caused. Will never treated him differently. He never lied to Merlin. Will had died for Merlin. If Merlin didn’t have a friend like Will, who risked a lot and risked it often for his sake, then Merlin would never have made it to Camelot.

Morgana never had that. He could have been that, but he was afraid. He was a coward, Merlin knew as much. Will wouldn’t have poisoned his friend. He would have found another way. But Merlin didn’t. He betrayed Morgana when she had put her entire life in his hand, and he crushed it.

The rumbling brought his attention back. Her eyes were studying his own. Her pupils were dilated and searching him for the truth. For once in his life, the truth. He would give it to her.

His voice cracked. “No, Morgana, you don’t deserve to be executed for who you are. No one does.”

Her eyes widened slightly. He had caught her completely off guard. She had expected him to condemn her for having magic. Is that what he had become?

He continued. “But it doesn’t have to be like this.” He stepped closer. “We can find another way.”

They stared at each other for a moment. For one brief second, a minute, a breath, they hoped that what he said was true.

“There is no other way.” Her voice was soft, but heavy with conviction.

He nodded at her words, and stepped back. She knew he wouldn’t give up. He made a move for the rowan staff, just to get her on the defensive. She had a sword raised quickly, and he did as well. He tapped his blade to hers and the fighting began. It was a bit of a performance on both their parts. He wasn’t aiming to harm her, and for some reason she wasn’t either.

Merlin smirked a little bit. “What are you going to do? Kill me?”

Morgana got a little competitive, but she was amused. “You don’t think I can?”

They struck at each other strongly, but not as strong as either of them should have. The crack of thunder outside dispelled any of Morgana’s hesitations or distractions. She struck her first true blow, and he blocked it. They weren’t playing anymore.

He went on the offensive, striking at her head from above, she blocked it and took advantage of his close proximity. She twisted her body around and moved to strike at his abdomen. Merlin jumped back, but the tip cut at his shirt and grazed his skin.

Morgana showed surprise. “You’ve gotten handy with a sword since I’ve been gone, Merlin.”

He pointed at the cut. “Not handy enough.”

She grinned despite herself. But not for long. She tacked on a little grimace and decided to bite at him. “Awfully good with poison though, I’ll tell you that.”

His face flickered as if she had struck him with the sword. It was the worst possible time for a conversation. The castle was under siege, Arthur could have been hurt. But Merlin felt it in his heart.

He dropped his sword. “I didn’t want to. You were my friend. You are still my friend, Morgana.”

She gaped at his dropped sword. He was clearly full of surprises. But she wouldn’t allow him the chance to blindside her. “So what happened Merlin? Couldn’t find another way? Or maybe you just wanted me to die because I had magic.”

He frowned. “Is that what you think of me, Morgana?”

“It’s what you’ve shown to me. Friend.”

She moved forward with her blade aimed at his throat. He didn’t move.

“If you’re going to kill me, make it quick.”

She was puzzled once more, but she didn’t show it this time.

“Why should I?”

The blade was touching his skin now.

“Because if you don’t I will stop you.”

“And just how do you plan on doing that, Merlin? You’re useless even with a sword.”

She was baiting Merlin, but he wouldn’t give her the satisfaction. He nudged the blade away from his throat and began to move forward.

“Because I do know what it’s like to be an outsider. I do know what it’s like to be ashamed of how I was born. And I already do have to hide who I am every day. Every. Single. Day.”

He was a step away from her, and she was looking up at him, startled but entranced by the way he spoke. This was no serving boy speaking.

“I can’t let anybody else get hurt Morgana. I’m a protector. I protected you too, once. I’m sorry that you made me hurt you. I’m sorry that I wasn’t a good friend to you. But I can’t let this go on.”

She moved to stab him but he knocked her away with a flash of his eyes. Not very much, not very hard, but enough that she was at a safe distance.

Her eyes didn’t turn gold in return. She was as stuck in place as the staff in the center of the room, staring at him. The room felt different. The magic shifted, and the torches became lit all at once, contrasting the pale light of the moon with a fiery hue. Merlin stood straighter, as if he was at last being honest with himself, admitting to a heritage older than time.

He locked a look with her, and gave her a moment to sear the gold of his eyes in her memory for all of time. He reached towards the rowan staff from where he stood, and pulled it towards him with magic. It flew to him with little hesitation, as if it had always been his servant. He took it in his hands firmly, and something gave in the atmosphere. The dark magic bristled, afraid of what was to come, but powerless to do anything about it, like Morgana herself.

Merlin raised a knee and slammed the staff to it, and with a spark, he tore it in half. Morgana recalled the sheer power of the staff. When Morgause gave it to her it hummed in her hands, prickling at where she held it like a thousand needles.

“I’m not powerful enough to wield this, Morgause.”

“Do not worry my dear, that staff was crafted from the Rowan tree in the center of the Isle of the Blessed. It carries its own power. None have laid eyes on it except for our kind, the High Priestesses, and the blood god that planted it.”

Her disbelief was immense as the darkness receded from the sky. She and he both felt it retreat from the towers and the walls of the castle. They felt it abandon the undead it had summoned. They felt it rush down through the soiled soil and into the catacombs, to attack Merlin.

Wind rushed through, the only sign of the physical manifestation of the evil Morgana had summoned. And yet, somehow, Merlin stood calmly in the center, and with his glowing eyes silenced it once and for all, without moving or flinching.

It was dreadfully quiet, and Morgana hated it because she was certain that even he could hear her heart pumping. Could sense her fear. And still his eyes were glowing, as if mocking her and apologizing all at once. As he stood before her, the flames of the torches framing his figure, she wondered if he  had planted the rowan tree himself.

But her awe at his power was short-lived as the gold receded from his eyes and he looked more like Merlin and less like Death. When he stared at her with those insufferably blue eyes, when he moved to help her up, only then could she bring herself to burn with the anger that she was feeling.

Merlin had magic.

Merlin had magic, and he killed her.

She trusted him, and he did not trust her. The betrayal pulled at her throat more than the hemlock ever could have.

Her eyes water and she stood up, still holding the sword at him. It was useless of course, they both knew it. Even her magic would have been useless. But she held it up against him anyways.

“How many?” She demanded. Her voice was raw with anger. “How many of our kin did you betray? How many have you sacrificed to Uther’s hatred Merlin?”

Merlin flinched. “Just you.”

That had hurt her in ways she was not prepared for.

“How many have you killed for his sake?”

“Too many Morgana. But not for Uther’s sake. Never for Uther’s sake.”

“Then for who? Arthur?”

Merlin nodded. “He is destined to bring magic back to Camelot, Morgana. I have to protect him. He’s my friend.”

She reeled. “So was I.”

Merlin couldn’t respond to that. His heart was thudding in his chest. His throat was constricted. This was a terrible idea, but Morgana had to know.

“You’re a monster Merlin.”

His face crumpled. “I didn’t want to poison you, Morgana.”

“That’s not what this is about Merlin!” She screamed. “You knew. You knew I had magic. You could have helped me and you-you...” She glared at him. “You pawned me off for the druids to deal with. And you got them all killed. You did that Merlin. That was you. I’ve lived with it for years but it was never my guilt to hold.”

She was up close and personal now, pounding her fist on his chest with every accusation.

He let her. What she said was nothing new. “Yes, Morgana. I’ve done terrible things, I know that. But I’m trying. I’m trying really hard to change things.”

He could feel the heat of her tears as they dripped down her face. “How could you do this, Merlin?”

She stared at him, desperate for an answer for the sake of her own sanity.

“I-” Merlin did not like how he was at a loss for words. Arthur and the knights were probably still fighting. He decided he needed to sit.

He moved towards one of the tombs and sat on it, his hands clasped together. Her eyes followed him, brows knit together.

“I would say...” he began carefully, “that it wasn’t my choice. But that’s not true. It has been my choice.”

She began to open her mouth to say something but Merlin cut her off. “I’m not talking about poisoning you Morgana. I really did have no choice then. If I didn’t do it, Morgause wouldn’t have stopped the siege of the city.”

She offered nothing to that, which he supposed was a sort of permission to continue.

“I have been able to do magic since I was a baby. I did magic while still in a cradle. I could make things fly, or light up candles.”

Tears had stopped streaming down her face, and now she was listening. Guarded, but curious. If anyone deserved an explanation it was her.

“I was always told that I was a monster, Morgana. You’re just another person in a long line of people. I had to leave Ealdor when I was nineteen because if I didn’t, bad things would happen...” He let that hang in the air. “My mother sent me to Gaius. He’s her uncle, and a good friend. She sent me here to Camelot because I needed to learn to control my magic and nobody else could teach me. Let alone in Ealdor.”

He thought, for a moment, that her eyes softened. Her face resolved to neutrality soon enough.

He tapped the tomb with his fingers. “When I stepped through the gates the first person I met was Gwen. She was so kind. As we entered the citadel, do you know what the first thing I saw was Morgana? I saw you, looking down at the execution of Thomas Collins. For having magic.”

He huffed. “I came from a place where having magic made me a demon, and waltzed into the heart of a kingdom where having magic made me a dead man instead. Gaius told me as much. I saved his life with magic, and the very first thing he did was tell me off.”

Merlin laughed to himself. “He still does that. But he’s not the only one… On my first night, a voice called my name. I went down to the caverns and I met a dragon.”

She gasped, her first reaction. “It was you, you released the dragon while I was away. Gwen told me about it.”

Merlin nodded. “That was a mistake.” He looked at her intently. “One of very many of my mistakes, Morgana. But that first night he told me I was destined to bring magic back to the land. But he told me I could only do it through Arthur. If I was to fulfill my destiny, I needed to protect Arthur.”

He sighed. “And so I did. Not only because it was my destiny, but because Arthur became a friend. And despite everything, sometime I see him and I just know that… he is the king we’ve been waiting for.”

“He’s Uther’s son, Merlin.” Morgana snapped.

“He’s much more than that Morgana. And you know it.”

She changed the pace. “And what else did the lizard happen to say?”

Merlin quirked a quick smirk at hearing Kilgharrah called a lizard, but he answered her. “He answered my questions mostly, and sometimes he warned me about things… and he was wrong.”

Morgana watched him warily. “Like not telling me about my magic. That was his directive, I presume?”

“No.” Merlin said. “His directive was for me to kill you. Or to let you die.”

Her mouth opened at that but she didn’t say anything.

“He told me, Morgana, that you were destined for darkness. I told him you had a good heart.”

Merlin stood up and approached her. She didn’t move. “It wasn’t only until you began to meet with Morgause that I suspected maybe he wasn’t wrong.”

Morgana glared at him. “Oh? I’m the evil one? It seems to me that I was just making your job easier. By killing Uther, Arthur could be king.”

Merlin shook his head. “If you killed Uther, Morgana, if you did it with magic… Arthur would never accept it. He would become just like his father. Arthur has made great strides but he’s not ready to become king yet.”

“So you’re just going to wait until Uther dies of old age? You’re going to let our people suffer for that long in order to preserve Arthur’s innocence? I thought you were a coward but it turns out you were just a fool. You went to a dragon for advice and listened. Like a puppy.”

“I listened to you, too,” he shrugged “whenever you had a vision, I acted on it.”

She was brought up short for a moment but brought it around to the offensive. “And yet you couldn’t tell me about your magic.”

“Don’t you think I wanted to Morgana?”

“Clearly not all that much if the fact that it took me raising an army of the undead is any indication.”

Merlin groaned. “Morgana I’ve been alone all of my life. Nobody to tell my secret to. Nobody to share myself with. I had Will, and my mother before, but they didn’t have magic they couldn’t understand. Gaius doesn’t practice anymore. And anybody else just...died. For my sake. Or because of a curse. Or because I had to stop them from hurting Arthur.”

He looked up at her. “But then there you were with your visions. I suspected, I hoped, but I couldn’t bring myself to believe. Until that night that you told me what you suspected. And suddenly I didn’t feel so alone anymore. Because you were my friend Morgana. You risked your life going to Ealdor to fight for me, a servant. And you had magic.”

There wasn’t any particular emotion on Morgana’s face, except for perhaps the shadow of a smile that flickered on her lips as she recalled the day she went to Ealdor.

“I wanted to tell you so badly, but… Well, my excuse was, is, that all my life I had been told not to tell anyone. Since I was a small child. I have always lived in fear. It’s...it’s not an easy thing to admit for me. And you’re the king’s ward, Morgana. Add that to the fact that the dragon insisted you were evil and I...”

He motioned to her. “I failed as a friend, and I chose not to tell you. And I’m sorry. But I’m telling you now. You’re the first person from Camelot I’ve willingly told.”

She stared at him evenly for a few moments. “So what now, Merlin? I can’t stop. I’m too far gone. And I don’t think you will stop protecting Arthur either.”

“No.”

She narrowed her eyes. “Why would you tell me this?”

“Because you deserve it, Morgana. You’re still good. You trusted me and I hurt you. So now I’m trusting you.”

“You’re an idiot Merlin.” She bit. “If I tell Arthur, you will be executed or exiled. Do you think he will forgive you? You just gave me the key to winning Camelot. What will she do without its protector?”

“Arthur wouldn’t kill me. He would be hurt that I haven’t told him. Conflicted. But he wouldn’t kill me. Just know, Camelot will always have my protection.”

Morgana bristled, working herself up again. “What has this kingdom done for you that I haven’t? Why do they deserve your help anymore than I do?”

Merlin didn’t answer her question, choosing to answer the unaired one instead. “I told you about my magic because we could find another way, Morgana. It doesn’t have to be like this.”

She sheathed her sword. “They’ll be looking for me.”

Merlin nodded.

They assessed one another until Merlin spoke.”Will you tell Morgause?”

“I don’t know.” Morgana said.

Merlin nodded, and decided to grin, despite his rapidly beating heart. “Just remember, if Arthur banishes me, there will be no one to help him put on his night shift or keep his figure trim. The last time I was gone for more than twenty four hours he couldn’t even find his sock drawer.”

Morgana stared at him incredulously as he suddenly disappeared, taking the torchlight with him. She almost couldn’t help the giggle that came out of her mouth. She was horrified and confused, and very much in need of a nap.  But she did wonder just how much Merlin had given up for Camelot. What was his play? Why would he tell her about his magic?

Arthur burst into the catacombs in a panic with wild eyes, and she startled. When he saw her the relief on his face was somewhat… heartwarming.

“Morgana! You’re safe!” His eyes wandered around the room and landed on the rowan staff. Her heart leapt up in panic, but he came to a different assumption than what she feared. “Did… did you stop the undead? With… that?” His eyes went to her sword.

She couldn’t help but smirk a little. “Is it so surprising? I used to beat you in fights all the time when we were younger.”

He shook his head disbelievingly. “Okay, uh, we have to tell father about this.”

She nodded, clenching her jaw.

Arthur began to turn around towards the stairs but stopped and said something unexpected. “Morgana? Good job. I’m glad to have you back.”

Her face made a humble smile, and she felt a small rush of affection for her brother. “I’m glad to be back.”

Arthur cleared his throat. “Right, well, you wouldn’t have happened to have seen my idiot manservant would you? He’s always in the most unlikely of places after these sorts of things. Wouldn’t have been surprised if he had tripped his way down here.”

Morgana froze a little. She could have told him then and there Merlin’s secret. Even blamed the staff on him. But she couldn’t. Not yet. She had to strategize.

She laughed. “Not that I noticed.”

They began to head up the stairs. Morgana knew only one thing. She would be sharing some more words with Merlin.

For better or worse, this was far from over. But maybe… maybe they could find another way.

[writers-blogck]

A New Adventure Begins ( Mollymauk Tealeaf x Reader ) 02

Warning(s): This will not follow the storyline completely for the second season of Critical Role. This story is more like the characters being placed in a different situation. Also, this story is inspired heavily by mollymaymaukme.tumblr.com/. Go read their stories about Molly. They are so good! Title: A New Adventure Begins Number in Series: Two Pairing: Mollymauk Tealeaf x Reader Fandom: Critical Role Word Count: 3,258

Song

  Panic filled you as your eyes were blinded by a bright light. This wasn't some fire or light spell, it was so bright! You had never seen something so bright! What if your eyes had something wrong with them? Were you going blind?! You stood up, feeling as if you were being strangled by something. Stumbling around, you attempted to open your eyes but it hurt too much. The light burned your eyes any time you tried to open the, What was going on? You couldn't breathe, you were freaking out. Magic seemed to pop against your skin in your confused state. Were you dying? What was going on? As you struggled, the jacket fell over your eyes, keeping out the light.    "Whoa, whoa, calm down! You're okay! If you keep freaking out, those feet of yours are gonna end up getting burned." Strong arms wrapped around you, steadying you back on your feet. A hand pulled the coat away, causing you to let out a squeal of pain and thrash your arms to cover your eyes again. The jacket had become almost like a blindfold, protecting your eyes from the us. When it was removed, the bright sun attacked your eyes once again.    "Molly, get her in the cart," The thick male accent spoke.    You could feel the gentle arms of Molly (presumably) move you in a direction that you couldn't tell. With every tentative step, your heart beat faster. Why did the light hurt your eyes so much? Large yet thin hands grabbed your waist and see you up on a hard surface. Instinctively, you pushed yourself away from the edge, pulling your knees as close to your chest as possible. How could you protect yourself when you couldn't even see? It was obvious to the others how you were similar to a wild animal, resorting to the basic aspects of the brain.    The wagon shifted as new weight was added. A pair of hands grabbed your own, slowly pulling them away from your eyes. You squinted as you opened your eyes, allowing them to be open just enough to test the waters. The inside of the wagon was dark enough to keep your eyes from being in pain. In front of you was the purple tiefling, holding your hands in his. His red eyes stared at you in what you would call concern, though it was hard to tell without pupils. The dirty man walked forward, bending down to look you in your eyes.    "Caleb, use that big brain of yours and tell me what is going on!"    "I believe because she has been in the Underdark for so long with drow caused her eyes to become adjusted to the dark. They are unaccustomed to the sunlight due to not being exposed to it for so long. She will need time to adjust again."    You totally forgot about the sun, which sounded like such a stupid thing but was true. With how long you were underground, you had forgotten about the sun and it became nothing more of a distant memory. You had escaped during the night when everything was simply illuminated by the moon. Before, you were just used to things being brightened up by fire. All you needed was to be able to see your work before, your captors kept most enjoyments or simple pleasures out of your life. It had just been another way they decided to make your life even worse.    "So, she can't see?" The blue tiefling asked, placing two bedrolls in the wagon, purple eyes moving to watch your form.    "Nein, it just means bright lights will hurt her eyes for a bit while they get used to such a bright environment."    "Oh good, because we don't need to worry about her being blind. That would totally suck." -*-    The party packed up the wagon and were moving toward their next destination, taking you like extra cargo. You sat almost exactly in the middle on the right side, keeping the sun from affecting your eyes. As you watched the forest and road pass behind you, a dull ache filled your eyes. How long had it been since you had last seen the sun? The thought filled your stomach with unpleasant feelings. So much of your life has been wasted because of those terrible people. It just wasn't fair, but there was nothing you could do about it now.    Fjord had decided he would drive the wagon with the help of Beau. Molly and Jester were in charge of guarding and watching out for anything suspicious. Nott was messing with a bunch of buttons while Caleb had his nose stuck in a book. Everything seemed normal between the group and your felt like a sore thumb. With every simple posture change or quiet sigh, at least three pairs of eyes followed you. How you wished your magic could just turn you invisible so all their eyes would just go away.    "So, like, you never gave us a name or anything. I'm Jester."    Your eyes trailed up, able to really get a good look at the group who decided to help you. The one speaking to you seemed to be young, at least at heart anyway. Her skin was a light blue with curious eyes that were a mix of purple, pink, and blue. Freckles littered her face like stars, something you rarely saw. Since freckles were caused by the sun, no one got them down below. Your skin tone must have looked sickly when compared to those around you now. Perhaps a glimpse of yourself would be too much at the moment. You felt disgusting and knew that you must look that way as well.    "Spark, uh, wait no," You shook your head, eyes narrowing in confusion, "that was what they called me. My name is....(Y/N)."    "(Y/N)..." Jester seemed to test the name in her mouth before continuing, "Well, welcome to the Mighty Nein, like N-E-I-N. That is a word that Caleb uses, the bookworm. Nott is the goblin over there but she is very nice. She is a package deal with Caleb, they go everywhere together. Fjord is the green guy, he is pretty chill. He pukes up water sometimes, like the kind from the sea. Beau is up there with him, she is grumpy but she means well most of the time. And then that leaves Molly, the other tiefling."    "Mollymauk Tealeaf, at your service." The red eyes winked, the same ones that had charmed you last night. You wouldn't let it happen again.    You weren't shocked that Molly was the one that had charmed you last night. Everything about the man made you feel like he was twisting his words, with or without the use of his magic. A deep cut white shirt reached down his torso, slightly covered by his even more extravagant jacket. He was a carny, you didn't even need to ask about that. The drow liked to kidnap those from the carnival, no many to miss them. Were you part of the circus when you were younger? All you could remember before the dark was a pair of golden eyes shining down at your tiny form.    The lilac skin of Molly was covered in tattoos, though in the dark of the wagon and with some bits covered, it was impossible to tell what they were. Your eyes drifted up to study the man's face. Good features for a tiefling. Everything you had heard of them made them seem so much like devil creatures, with hideous faces and terrifying horns. Yet, there were two of them who both had pretty features. A smug grin rested on Molly's lips, just showing a hint of a white fang. When your eyes met his own, you quickly shifted your gaze. Has he noticed you studying him? Oh, Gods...    "So you were a slave. Did you smash rocks?" Nott squeaked out, her tone wavering. She held a flask in her tiny hand, obviously not caring about how early in the morning it was to be drinking.    "Nott..." Caleb's voice spoke up but he didn't even spare a glance from his book.    "No, I didn't do much manual labor. They often kept me inside one of the cages until they needed me. Most of my time was spent doing nothing and just sitting in the dirt."    "And what did they need you for, if you don't mind me asking?" Jester was watching you, her eyes filled with interest. Your own stared down at your dirty feet. You knew she meant no harm in asking but it was hard to think about the life you had just escaped.    When you thought back to your tasks, you just thought of pain. Never whips or arrows; though you had been hit by both but never during your tasks. No, the pain came from deep within when they used you. It was a terrible burning, only explainable by every molecule or piece of you being stretched like a rubber band. It never even caused external harm, everything was inside. Your soul, or something, was grabbed and pulled. You vowed to never have to feel that way again.    "I well, they used me more like a power source for their spells. It was like they reached deep within me and took pieces of me, my spiritual being, and then used it to power rituals. They would put me back in the cage to charge up again and heal inside before they would use me again. That happened for years, I stopped counting the years after it hit ten."    "Oh..."    A thick tension blanketed the entire wagon as you finished speaking. Your past was heavy and you had no clue how other people would react to hearing about it. What if someone wanted to use you in the same way? Would these people try to use you in some way as well? You would rather die than be put through that again. These people could take you to where they would use you and you wouldn't know. You had to put your trust in these people, even though it could end terribly. Your life was resting in their hands.    A fuzzy feeling brought you back into reality from your the panic attack that had been building in your mind. A cat, tabby in color, nudged your thigh with its head before it curled up so its body was pressed against you. Purrs reverberated and you could feel it again your leg. Without knowing, a small smile found its way to your face as you placed a hand on the war fur. The feeling and sounds were very grounding.    "That is Frumpkin, he is Caleb's familiar. He totally won't care if you're dirty or whatever. He chills with Caleb all the time so,"    "Jester," Molly gave a warning look to the girl.    "What?! She is dirty! She definitely knows it. No worries though, when we get to the tavern, we can totally have a girl's night to get her all clean and whatever."    Molly and Jester began to speak about what would happen when the party reached the next town. You couldn't remember the name of the town that they had said they were going to. Just as you began to tune out their voices, Caleb glanced up from his book. He offered you a kind look and a gentle shake of his head before he moved his focus back on his book again. This must be something that happened quite often. There was no anger or fear as they argued, which was a strange thing for you. Any hint of aggression was dealt with violence from where you were from. It was reassuring to hear a conversation like this that wouldn't end up with blood on the ground.    Outside, nature passed by with trees on both sides of the road. Birds chirped and sun their melodies. Even though it may be sore to watch the passing scenery, you couldn't help yourself. It had been so long since you had breathed fresh air or seen green trees. Below there had only been different rocks and mushrooms. There had been no real color other than monochromes and purple. Not even hints of greens and blues existed down below. It was amazing to see them again after so long. You hadn't been able to enjoy everything last night because of how scared you were. Perhaps it was the cat but those thoughts seemed so far away right now. All you could focus on was the beauty of the world all around outside.    What you didn't know was how a pair of red eyes seemed to be studying everything you were doing. There was such a wonder on your face. There was a beauty hidden under all the dirt and muck that covered your face. IT shone through the sparkles in your eyes and the slight incline of the edges of your lips. Molly became lost in thought as he watched your every movement, not even trying to hide his gaze from the rest of the party.    After an hour or so passed, a soft think against the side of the wagon brought everyone out of their dazes. You quickly looked around, eyes wide as everyone jumped into action. The wagon shook as both Fjord and Beau jumped down from the steering bench, reacting to the action.    "Attack! Guess we shouldn't have left you two keep watch, huh?!" Beau shouted, grunts and thuds already starting outside. As soon as the word attack left Beau's mouth, the rest of the party got to their feet. Nott jumped out, sliding under the cart to get a look at what was going on. Caleb and Hester followed suit, A gentle hand rested on your shoulder, squeezing it lightly.    "Stay here, we have this under control."    The noises only louder and louder as time went by. Shouts of pain and grunts filled the air, making it hard to tell which side was winning. Fear began to fill your entire body as well as the sparkles from before. You couldn't just sit here and let them die. A shout of Caleb's name was your final push for your decision as you grabbed a light scarf to wrap around your eyes. Could you help them in one way or another/ Worst case scenario was that you would need to ditch the rest of the group. Your bare feet stung as they made contact with the dirt road. It was hard to see but you were able to make out basic objects and silhouettes. Blood stained the ground a rust color where Caleb had fallen to the ground,    A group of around twenty bandits had jumped out from the woods, hidden by the thick leaves. Your heart races as you took in everything; with Caleb down that meant there were four bandits to each person if that didn't include you. Fjord and Jester were both attacking with magic, Nott delivering sneak attacks, and Molly was skillfully using his curved swords. Each had only killed one person each that still meant that there were three each. Your mind was racing, trying to figure out what you should do. If only your brain could work just as fast as your eyes which scanned the environment.    "Hey, one was hiding in the wagon!" A gruff voice shouted, his rough hand grasping your upper arm. Panic was beginning to set in now, it felt like fire sparks were exploding inside of you now. With how loud the fighting was, you doubted that anyone was able to hear what the man had said. Still, he began to drag your smaller frame forward. No matter how hard you struggled, he was still the stronger of you two. It looked like he was going to take you off the path and into the woods again. You couldn't let that happen.    "Let me go!" Your feet planted down in the dirt, heels digging in. First resort, distraction and wasting time. Ever since you were young, you knew you were weak. The easiest and most reliable way to get out of trouble was to get as much time as you could so you could wait for some type of help to arrive. Others would be able to do what you couldn't.    "Shut up bitch!" The trees were getting closer. Resort two was to flee. You may not be able to fight well but you were extremely fast and nimble. It was too late to try to flee, which meant that only left resort three.  It was your last resort and you only prayed that it would work. Resort three had only worked once or twice in the past when you had tried to do it. What else could you do though?    "Let me go!" Your voice boomed against the trees as you shouted, freehand sweeping over the area where the enemies were located. Everyone, including those on your side, turned to see what had happened, all in the same state of confusion. They were greeted by the sight of you with your hand outstretched, the scarf slowly floating down, no longer tied to keep out some of the sunlight. You had glowing golden eyes, which would have been a beautiful sight except for the rage and fear filled look on your face. Even your allies were scared of you at the moment. They couldn't figure out what was going on with you.    Before your enemies could react, the ground beneath them rumbled. Sharp shoots of tree trunks, limbs, and branches shot up through the ground, growing around and impaling all of the enemies. Screams filled the air as your fist clenched, causing the limbs to tighten in and against their victims. The trees themselves were beautiful with purple and white flowers decorating them, a hard contrast against the blood that now was dripping from the wounds. Then, as soon as the limbs were there, they vanished, leaving the bodies to topple to the ground with a heavy hep.    "What the fuck was that?!" Beau shouted all eyes turned to your trembling form.    Her voice was the last thing you heard before you tumbled to the ground as well, body returning back to normal. -*-    "Jester, you go and check on Caleb, I've got her!" Molly rushed over to your crumbled up form. As he checked your pulse, he was reassured that you had simply fainted. His arms cradled your body as he walked back to the wagon. Your head lolled to the side and fell against his chest, eyes shut. He was glad that you couldn't tell how scared he was from his heartbeat.    "How do we know we can trust her?" Nott spoke up, kneeling next to Jester and Caleb, who was slowly starting to stir once again.    "She saved us, didn't she?"    "Come on now, we got to give her a chance. We'll figure out what is going on when she wakes up and then we can decide what we should do," Fjord offered, as he always seemed to be the most level headed one.    Molly sat down in the wagon, cradling your head in his lap. His tail curled around to rest against the back on your hand, doing it more for him than yourself. This couldn't be the end for you, it simply wouldn't be fair. Straight from the drow and now this? It seemed like you had simply fainted due to over-exhaustion, or at least that was what he hoped.

[teamkaiforever]

YOU DIE, I DIE

(requested by anon/anon)

Kai Parker x Reader word count : 4 791 summary : The MF gang is facing an old enemy, who has a grudge against Reader. Kai, who is her best friend, is there with her when things go sideways. *gif by lightwoodxalec _____________________________ Life in Mystic Falls had always been dangerous and for those who knew what was really going on, the term ‘dangerous’ didn’t even begin to cover it. There was a long list of (fr)enemies the gang had, but none of them could compare to the new ‘queen of Hell’. Katherine Pierce had escaped Cade’s world of hurt, thanks to the Maxwell Bell, and had tricked them into killing the Devil. Now she got free reign in both dimensions and everyone had gathered at the Salvatore house working on a strategy to draw her out and put her down for good. Including Kai, who was sitting next to Y/N on the armrest of the comfy chair. Everyone believed they had seen the last of him after Bonnie trapped him in another Prison World, and they were in for quite the shock. He had found his way out of there and the first place he had gone had been his best friends’ house. Y/N was a little more than a friend to him – she was the girl he loved more than anything in the world. About four days ago when he had come back she had seemed just as happy to see him as he was about seeing her. Four years in Hell and his feelings for her hadn’t changed a bit. Every time she smiled, looked at him or said his name, his heart skipped a beat. His love for her had kept him sane in Hell and Y/N was the only person he wanted to see after coming back. Because of her, he wanted so desperately to get free from Cade’s nightmare dimension for good. Because of her he had fought so hard to find his way out of the Prison World as soon as possible. Only she didn’t know how he felt about her.     “There is no way she’d stay away knowing Stefan is marrying Caroline. He is her ‘one true love’ after all.” said Y/N putting air quotes around the words. “So how do we get rid of her ?” Damon shrugged his shoulders. “Well, she is dead. We just have to find a way to make it absolutely permanent.” Kai shifted uncomfortably and glanced at Y/N. He knew the history his best friend had with the doppelganger. A few years back Katherine had thought that Y/N was in love with Stefan and had tried to kill her. Then Y/N had been one of the first to find out Katherine had took over Elena’s body at which point the she had tried to kill her again. And later on Y/N had helped her friends get Nadya out of that church before Stefan had daggered Katherine, expelling her from Elena’s body. Safe to say that Katherine could be holding a grudge against his girl and Kai wasn’t planning on letting any harm come to her. But as far as he knew, there was no spell that can kill a dead person although there was something else they could do.     “Maybe we don’t have to kill her.” he whispered in her ear. Y/N looked at him, her eyes asking a silent question. ‘What do you mean ?’     “Maybe we can trap her somewhere.” he whispered. “Like that tomb she was supposed to be in for 145 years after she turned Steven and Damon ? Or the tunnels running underneath Mystic Falls ? But we will have to tell your friends about me. Bonnie won’t be able to do the spell on her own, it will require too much power.”     “Hey ! Earth to Y/N.” Damon waved his hand in front of her face. “Care to share with the class what has you spaced out?” Y/N ran her fingers through her hair, looking at her friends. “Nothing, just – what if we don’t have to kill her ?”     “We most definitely do.”     “No, that’s not what I meant. We have to get rid of her, right ? What if we trap her somewhere ? Like in the tomb ? Or the tunnels ? Just until everything blows over and we figure out a way to get rid of her permanently.” Damon grinned. “Finally, an idea I like.”     “That’s actually – a surprisingly good idea.” said Caroline a little excitedly. “But how to we lure her there ? I doubt she’ll believe we are having the wedding in the tomb.”     “With me.” said Stefan, taking a sip from his bourbon. “I will drug her. Then one of you grabs her and takes her to wherever we are going to keep her.”     “There is one thing though.” trailed off Y/N. “And I really really need you not to freak out about it, alright ?”     “What is it?” wondered Bonnie. A nervous smile showed on Y/N’s face and she gave Kai’s hand a little squeeze. Few seconds later he showed up right next to her and everyone’s eyes widened in shock and surprise in a split second. Damon whooshed himself towards the heretic and Y/N stood in his way.       “How is he here?” demanded the vampire. “Bonnie trapped him with no way out.” Kai smirked. “Owh did you really think I can’t find my way out of there ? Spelled chains ? That was a nice touch but –” he chuckled. “– it took me a couple of minutes after Bon Bon ditched me there all alone to siphon the magic away and a couple of hours to figure out from where you got the stupid Ascendant and find its mirror image.”     “The Armoury.” muttered Bonnie, looking at Y/N who’s hand was holding onto Kai’s so tight her knuckles were turning white. “You knew about this ?! That he was out and didn’t tell any of us ? Why ?”     “Look, I know you don’t like him but –”     “He tried to kill Lizzy and Josie !”     “– we need his help.”     “Yeah, that might’ve been a mistake.” said Kai nervously. “Sorry about that. It’s not going to happen again. I am not here to hurt anyone, promise. I just want to live, frankly. I didn’t get to do much of that before everyone decided I wasn’t worth it. Well, everyone but her.” Kai wound his hands around Y/N’s waist and pulled her towards him, both of them smiling at each other for a second before everyone’s stares snapped them to reality. Neither of her friends understood their friendship before the wedding and by the looks of it – that hasn’t changed.     “Who’s idea do you think it was to trap Katherine?” she raised her eyebrows. “You said you liked it.”     “I heard you.” interjected Kai. “Plus Bon Bon will need help putting that boundary up. As powerful as she is, this spell will require a lot and we don’t want anything to happen to her right ? Y/N , Bonnie and I will go there –”     “No, no, no. There is no ‘Bonnie and I’.” protested Bonnie.     “Can I continue please ?” interjected Kai, looking around the room. “Thank you. Since Bon Bon doesn’t want to lend me a hand, I will sprout a little witchy woo on my own then. I am mega powerful after all.” he smirked. “I’ll do the boundary spell in the tomb, tunnels or anywhere else you want to get Katherine trapped.”     “Why should we trust you?” said Caroline, getting up. “You killed Jo, you tried to kill Bonnie. You put Elena in a sleeping curse and just tried to kill my children.”     “They are not your children, Candice.” said Kai. “They are my sisters and about that sleeping curse. There might be a way for me to undo it, for real. All I am asking is one chance.” A long moment passed while her friends were studying Kai’s face, trying to figure out if he was lying or not. Then Y/N broke the silence. “Trust me. If you don’t want to trust him, then trust me.”     “Your ability to see good in everyone will get you killed.” said Bonnie. Damon continued to look at Y/N, who held his gaze without even blinking and finally the vampire caved in. Just the thought of getting Elena back was enough to get him to consider trusting Kai, at least for the time being. “Fine.”     “Tell them.” said Y/N.     “Tell us what ?” said Stefan getting up with a worried expression on his face.     “Katherine plans on nuking Mystic Falls off the map with Hell fire.” said Kai. “So if Bon Bon over there doesn’t want to help me with the boundary spell, I suggest she and Rick figure out how to stop this, because I don’t feel like burning to death or watch someone I care about do. Also, Elena is not in the coffin over there.” Damon stared at him wide eyed and ran towards Elena. “Where is she ? What have you done with her ?!”     “Elena is safe at the high school, in the boiler room.” said Kai and Y/N took a step in front of him. “Trapped… with a boundary spell.”     “Why are you telling us all of this ?” asked Stefan. Kai glanced at Y/N. “Because someone once told me, if I wanted a second chance I should do the right thing.” he said seeing Y/N smile at him. “And telling you seemed like the right thing to do.”     “Who gave you that horrible advice?”     “Some girl I used to know.” he tapped her nose, a smile showing on both their faces. “Look, you don’t have to like me but I will help you do whatever is necessary.”     “Alright, you two –” said Damon, pointing at Kai and Y/N. “Go to the tomb , get the boundary spell up including the tunnels. Everyone can enter but she can’t get out. It will be fun watching her run around in circles. And if you screw it up, you will find yourself back in Hell faster than you think.”     “I’d actually prefer it if Y/N stays here with you guys.” said Kai.     “Why ? So you can cross us again ?” asked Bonnie.     “No, because it’s not safe out there with Katherine and God knows who else running around –”     “No.” protested Y/N. “No, I am coming with you. There is no safer place for me than by your side. I am not staying here and you are not going out there without me.” A smile tugged at the corners of his mouth and his eyes lit up at her words. Her friends however looked at her as if she had lost her mind but she didn’t care. Now that Kai was back there was no way she’d let him out of her sight. Not after everything they had been through.They gazed longingly into each other’s eyes and for a moment the whole world around them vanished.     “Hello ?” said Damon, waving his hand between their eyes. “We are toast and you two making googly eyes at each other is not helping.” Kai cleared his throat and Y/N awkwardly looked away for a second before gazing into his eyes again. “Alright then.” he took her hand. “But you are not leaving my side. I will never forgive myself if something happens to you.”     “What is it with you two ?” wondered Caroline. “Is there something else you are not telling us ?” Kai took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “As crazy as it sounds to you Clarisse, I actually do care about the safety of my best friend above all else.” Y/N’s cheeks flushed and she intertwined her fingers with Kai’s before turning towards her friends. “I’ll call you when it’s done.” she said and along with her best friend headed outside.  Damon ran after them, grabbing Kai’s hand before he had walked through the door. “Why did you trap Elena?“      “You are not the only one with loved ones to protect.” replied Kai and without another word caught up with his girl. “I’m driving.” he said and Y/N tossed him her car keys. He opened the passenger door for her, waited until she got in and in a flash got to the drivers’ spot next to her. A moment later the keys were in the ignition and they headed down the road. “Your friends didn’t seem happy to see me at all. Are you sure it was a good idea to let them know I am here ? You could’ve told them all this yourself.”     “It had to be you.” she ran her fingers roughly through her hair. “What if they saw you somewhere and killed you without realising you are on our side? I will never survive losing you again. I’d rather –” Kai turned towards her. “You’d rather what ?”     “N-nothing. I’ll tell you later. Take a left turn here –” she pointed when one of her favourite songs started playing on the radio and a wide smile spread across her face. “Sing with me.” Kai shook his head. “Come on, please?”     “We are literally on the verge of Hell, which trust me is beyond it’s reputation and you want us to sing ?”     “Why not sing ? Can’t stop enjoying life cuz everything is a mess.” she smiled. “Tomorrow Katherine will be trapped in the tomb. Stefan and Caroline will get married and everything will go back to normal – ish.”     “So annoyingly positive.” he teased. “Everything is falling apart and you still find a reason to smile and be happy. To make me happy.” he turned towards her and even if he wanted to say no to her, there was no way. Not when he saw her best puppy dog eyes when she asked him to sing with her again. “How do you always get what you want ?” he smiled. “Like literally, I can’t say 'no’ to you about anything.” Y/N winked and smiled widely at him. “It’s a mystery.” *     *     *  Around mid-day the next day, shortly before the wedding, Stefan sat alone near the Salvatore crypt at the cemetery. Only he wasn’t alone. His brother and fiance were there, along with Matt, Y/N and Kai who had put a cloaking spell on all of them. Last night, after the boundary spell had been put up, they had all devised a plan. Two plans actually, to ensure Katherine won’t be a step ahead. Damon kept a close eye on Kai, who didn’t appear to care about that at all. He and Y/N were having fun watching some video online, listening with their earphones while waiting for the queen of Hell to show up. Meanwhile at the Armoury, Bonnie along with Rick and Doriam looked for a way to stop the Hell fire and perhaps destroy Hell itself. A syringe with sedative rested in Stefan’s pocket as he knelt down on his mother’s grave leaving a flower. Not a minute later everyone heard a familiar giggle and turned into the direction the sound had come from. From behind one of the large tomb stones appeared Katherine, who looked exactly the same as when they had last seen her in Elena’s body.     “Shouldn’t you be with your 'future wife to be’?” she said putting air quotes around the words took a step towards him.“It’s your wedding day. Why aren’t you getting ready, getting dressed in a suit ? You always look so hot in a suit –”     “Katherine.”     “Miss me ?” she smiled innocently at him. Stefan shook his head. “You wound me, Stef. First you fall in love with my dullest dishwater doppelganger Elena and now – Caroline? Out of all people ? I knew there was something between you two at the Bitter Ball –”     “I never loved you Katherine.” he replied sitting on the bench next to her.     “I think you did. A lot more than once.” she smiled, brushing her palm against his cheek until he turned towards her. “You can deny it all you want, but I know the truth. You were this close to loving me again –” About 10 metres away Kai put his arm around Y/N’s shoulder, unable to tear his eyes away from his girl completely ignoring Katherine’s attempts to get Stefan to love her again. He had had an ear full of this back in Hell. To Kai it only mattered that his girl was right there next to him but even though she was smiling, he knew something bothered her. Kai had wanted her to stay home, all her friends had but Y/N had protested until they all caved it. He knew the risk she was taking, what Katherine might do if she gets the chance but even pointing that out to her hadn’t been able to stop her from being there by her friends’ side, helping them take Katherine down once again.     “I still think you should’ve stayed home.” he whispered in her ear. “I love being with you, but this is dangerous –”     “Where else would I be, but by your side?” asked Y/N, turning towards him. “Also I don’t trust Damon won’t do something Damon-level-stupid.” Damon scoffed and rolled his eyes. “Your friend promised to bring Elena for real this time. I don’t plan on doing anything stupid… yet.”     “Hilarious.” she replied. “Touch him and guess who won’t be here for Elena’s return.” Damon started to reply when Stefan groaned in pain, getting everyone’s attention when Katherine stabbed him in the abdomen with a dagger after he tried to sedate her. Caroline and Damon rushed to his side as he crumbled on the ground and the cloaking spell broke.     “Awwh the whole welcome committee is here.” said Katherine mockingly. “The brother who loved me too much and the one who didn’t love me enough. Goldy locks, blue eyes, the bookworm – and you ?” she pointed at Kai. “Why are you with them ? Is it because of her?”     “None of your business Katherine.” replied Kai. “Why don’t you do us all a favor and crawl back into whatever hole you crawled out from ?” Katherine took a step towards them, her expression changing twice in a split second until she looked almost sympathetic. “Y/N. I see you are still… a fragile human being.” gloated the doppelganger. “Shouldn’t you be tucked away safely somewhere ? Out of danger?“  Y/N took a deep breath, feeling Kai squeezing her hand. "Not afraid of you Katherine.”     “Why ? Because your boyfriend is here to protect you ?” said Katherine amused. “Aahh that’s right. He is not your boyfriend. A girl like you can never get a guy like him. He will ruffle your perfect white dove feathers beyond repair and then – what will you do ?” she then turned towards Kai, placing her hands on his chest. “Did they promise to accept you in their group ? They never will and you know it.”     “I don’t care what they do or don’t do. I am not here because of them.” Kai pushed her hands away, noticing Y/N tense behind him a little and her heart rate changing. Her hand held onto his tight while Katherine took a few steps away from them giggling.     “Hey, twirp.” called out Damon. “A little help ?” Kai glanced at him, Stefan and Caroline and reluctantly let go off his best friend’s hand to go help her friends. Matt took a step between Katherine and Y/N, holding the doppelganger at gun point. A sigh left Y/N’s lips and she took a few steps back to get her phone from the tomb stone she had left it on. Everything else she could find a way not to get upset about but seeing someone else touch Kai had thrown her into anger like she had never known before in her life.     “Aww Matty-Blue-Blue.” giggled Katherine, biting her thumb while looking him up and down. “You have gotten hotter. The police uniform suits you –”     “Sheriff’s uniform.” interrupted Matt.     “So hot , I just –” she bit her lip taking a step towards him, feeling his muscles. A second later she grabbed his gun, knocked out Matt and turned towards Y/N. “You and I have unfinished business.” Y/N held her head up high as Katherine raised her hand and put her finger on the trigger. “I bit you and Stefan healed you. I compelled you to kill yourself but clearly your friends found a way to save you again. What is it now ? Strike three? I’ll make sure this time, I get things right.” she said pulling the trigger. Everything was happening both too fast and too slow at the same time. Kai, who was currently healing Stefan with magic, turned towards Y/N and his eyes went wide. A scream left his lips and he got up in a flash before the first bullet had reached his best friend, shielding her with his body. Kai didn’t care the gun Katherine had taken from Matt could be filled with wooden bullets. Nothing could’ve stopped him from standing in the way of the rain of bullets coming towards his girl. He’d rather die saving her life than live a second without her in this world.     “Kai ! No !” screamed Y/N, trying to get to him. To push him out of the way but Caroline held her back. “She is killing him ! Let me go !” Tears began rolling down her cheeks and she continued thrashing in her friends’ grasp unable to tear her eyes away, feeling a sharp pain in her heart with each shot. Bullet after bullet Kai’s body shook. Y/N lost count – were they ten ? Fifteen ? More ? All the sounds blurred together and nothing else mattered after he fell on the ground covered in blood. By then Damon had finally sedated Katherine and Caroline let go off her, immediately running towards Kai.     “Oh my God !” Y/N knelt on the ground next to him, tears streaming down her face. He reached for her hand and she held onto it, watching his blue eyes flutter open and closed when she caressed his cheek. A nervous smile spread across her face and Kai felt relief like never before. The bullets hurt but there was no blood on her clothes other than his, no wounds –     “That h-hurt a lot l-less than I thought it w-would.” he managed a laugh. Liar , she thought. “A-are you o-kay ?”     “Am I okay ?!” she asked incredulous, tearing his shirt. “You are the one who got shot like a dozen times. Hold still, okay ? I’ll get them out.” Y/N’s fingers reached inside his body, pulling out the bullets closest to his heart first. Bullet after bullet she pulled them out feeling relief flood her body realising those were regular bullets. Matt had switched his guns. Meanwhile Caroline fed Matt her blood, Damon got Katherine’s body and whooshed them to the tomb and Caroline helped Stefan up. So much was happening around Y/N but she only saw Kai, who had risked his own life to save hers. Why had he done that ? And why was he looking at her as if he was seeing her for the first time, with eyes filled with warmth and love –     "Do you need any help ?” asked Stefan. Caroline’s arms were wrapped around him, holding him steady just in case. “I have more experience with th-”     “N-no. No, I got it. Go get married you two.” she smiled at them. “Kai and I will be fine on our own.”     “Oh-kay.” replied the youngest Salvatore. “Hey, Kai ?”     “Yes?” wondered the heretic, looking up at Stefan.     “Thank you for – healing me. And for saving her.” he managed a smile. “Perhaps there is some good in you after all.” Kai grinned, flinching in pain a second later. “Any time Steven. Any time.” Y/N laughed under her breath. A few minutes later the last bullet was out and she wiped her forehead with her hand, getting some of Kai’s blood on her face. He sat on the ground and immediately put his hands around her.     “I thought I’d lose you.” he muttered, burying his face in the crook of her neck. “That was the worst feeling I have ever felt in my life. I never want to feel like that again.”     “Why ? Why would you risk your own life ?” she wondered, pulling him closer to her. “Those bullets could’ve been wooden. You could’ve died !”     ���You could’ve died. I couldn’t let that happen.” he pulled away, tucking in a strand of hair behind her ear. “You die, I die.” he managed a small smile. “Y/N, there is something I have to tell you. I should’ve told you before.”     “Wh-what?” she asked, feeling her heart about to leap out of her chest. A nervous smile spread across Kai’s face and he brushed his palm against her cheek, longingly gazing into her eyes. So many times he had tried to tell her before he got sent to Hell and even after he came back. So many times he had missed the opportunity or they had gotten interrupted. He didn’t want to wait any longer, he couldn’t.     “You know, this is the exact spot where we met.” he smiled, taking her hands in his. “Four years, two months and three days ago. I was so different back then, not knowing a thing about emotions. Never believing that there might be someone out there who would even want to consider giving me a chance after learning all that I’ve done.” he wiped a tear away from her cheek. “And then you showed up. The day you gave me a chance was the happiest day of my life, right after the day we met.” Y/N smiled at him, the memory of how they met popping into her mind. He had tried to get Jo to take her magic back after which Alaric had knocked him out. Damon had asked her to keep aye on him for a few while he and Rick went into town and she had sat on the ground watching him. A few minutes had passed and he regained consciousness. It had been the moment their eyes first met that sealed the deal with her. His brilliantly blue eyes had been filled with so much curiosity and instead of running or hurting her, they had talked before her friends dragged her away for her 'safety’.     “Four years, two months, three days and –” she glanced at her watch. “– four hours and 35 minutes ago.”     “You counted the hours and minutes too.” he said more to himself than to her, the corners of his mouth twitching. “Y/N, I love you. I fell in love with you. At first I had no idea what those feelings meant. All I knew was that I wanted to be with you every minute of every day. To see that sparkle in your eyes I love so much. To see you smile and hear you laugh. Every moment without you felt like torture and then when we got separated the first time, I felt like I couldn’t breath until I saw you again.” he smiled at her. “I was in Hell, but the real Hell was not being able to see you or hold you in my arms. And even during those four years, you were always on my mind. Every time I closed my eyes I saw you and you were the only thing that kept me from giving up hope.”     “Me ?”     “Yes !” he rested his forehead on hers, gazing into her eyes. “I love you and that will never change. I love you and I will love you even if you don’t love me back. I stood in the way of those bullets because I – I’d rather die than live in a world where you no longer exist.”     “I’d rather die than live in a world where you no longer exist too.” she smiled. “Kai, I love you. I love you more than anything in the world. I want to be with you, always, but it was so reckless of you to jump and –” Kai didn’t let her finish. His lips pressed against hers, lightly at first slowly getting more demanding while he put his arms around her, holding her towards him. Thousands of butterflies flapped their wings in her stomach at his touch and her heart tried to leap out of her chest. Four years she had loved him, wanted to be with him even though it appeared there was no way for that to ever happen. Now there was no way any of them would allow another separation.     “I’d gladly die for you any day.” he whispered. “As long as you are safe.” __________________________ MASTERLIST - SMUT MASTERLIST - FLUFF __________________________ note : i may be writing a part two of this, cuz while writing i got an idea on how to fix 8.16😅 couldn’t help myself with this one.🙈🙊.

[anastpaul]

Saint of the Day – 11 September – St John Gabriel Perboyre C.M. (1802-1840) – Martyr, Priest, Missionary, Teacher (6 January 1802 at Le Puech, near Mongesty, Cahors diocese, southern France – lashed to a cross on a hill named the “red mountain”, then strangled with a rope on 11 September 1840 at Ou-Tchang-Fou, China).   He was Beatified on 10 November 1889 by Pope Leo XIII and Canonised on 2 June 1996 by St Pope John Paul II.  His Major Shrine is at the Vincentian Motherhouse, Rue du Bac, Paris, France.

The formation years: The Church of France had at that time just emerged from the throes of the French Revolution with the red-colored garments of martyrdom for some and with the pain of the apostasy of many.  The panorama at the beginning of the 1800’s was desolate: buildings destroyed, convents sacked, people without pastors.   Thus, it was no accident that the ideal of the priesthood appeared to the young man not as a feeble arrangement for life but as the destiny of heroes.

His parents, surprised, accepted the choice of their son and accompanied him with their encouragement.   Not by chance, his paternal uncle Jacques was a missionary of St.Vincent.   This explains why in 1818 the missionary ideal matured in the young John Gabriel.   At that time, the missions meant principally China.   But China was a faraway mirage.   To leave meant never to find again the home milieu, taste its flavours, enjoy its affections.   It was natural for him to choose the Congregation of the Mission founded by St Vincent de Paul in 1625 for the evangelisation of the poor, the formation of the clergy but above all to push those very missionaries toward holiness.   The mission is not propaganda.   The Church has always demanded that the proclaimers of the Word be spiritual persons, mortified, full of God and charity.   In order to illuminate the darkness in people, a lamp is not sufficient if there is no oil.

John Gabriel did not think in half-measures.   If he was a martyr it is because he was a saint. From 1818 to 1835 he was a missionary in his own country.   First, in his formation period, he was a model novice and student.   After his priestly ordination (1826), he was charged with the formation of seminarians.

The missionary attraction:

A new factor, certainly not haphazard, modified John Gabriel’s life.   The protagonist was once again his brother Louis.   He also had entered the Congregation of the Mission and had asked to be sent to China where the sons of St Vincent had had a new martyr in the person of Blessed Francis Regis Clet (18 February 1820).   During the voyage, however, the young Louis, only 24 years of age, was called to the mission in heaven.   All that the young man had hoped for and done would have been useless if John Gabriel had not made the request to replace his brother in the breach.

John Gabriel reached China in August of 1835.   At that time the Occident knew almost nothing about the Celestial Empire and the ignorance was reciprocal.   The two worlds felt a mutual attraction but dialogue was difficult.   In the countries of Europe one did not speak of a Chinese civilization, but only of superstitions, of “ridiculous” ceremonies and customs.   The judgments were thus prejudices.   China’s appreciation of Europe and Christianity was not any better.   There was a dark gap between the two civilizations. Someone had to cross it in order to take on himself the evil of many and to consume it with the fires of charity.

After getting acclimated in Macau, John Gabriel began the long trip in a Chinese junk, on foot and on horseback, which brought him after eight months to Nanyang in Henan, where the obligation to learn the language imposed itself.   After five months, he was able to express himself, though with some trouble, in good Chinese and at once threw himself into the ministry, visiting the small Christian communities.   Then he was transferred to Hubei, which is part of the region of lakes formed by the Yangtze kiang (blue river).   Even though he maintained an intense apostolate, he suffered much in body and spirit.   In a letter he wrote: “No, I am no more of a wonder man here in China than I was in France … ask of Him first of all for my conversion and my sanctification and then the grace that I do not spoil His work too much…” (Letter 94).  For one who looks at things from the outside, it was inconceivable that such a missionary should find himself in a dark night of the soul.  But the Holy Spirit was preparing him in the emptiness of humility and the silence of God for the supreme testimony.

In chains for Christ: Unexpectedly in 1839 two events, apparently unrelated, clouded the horizon.   The first was the renewed outbreak of persecution which flowed from the decree of the Manchurian emperor, Quinlong (1736-1795), which had proscribed the Christian religion in 1794.

The second was the outbreak of the Chinese-British War, better known as the “Opium War” (1839-1842).   The closure of the Chinese frontier and the pretense of the Chinese government to require an act of dependence from the foreign ambassadors had created an explosive situation.   The spark came from the confiscation of loads of opium stowed in the port of Canton;  this action harmed the merchants, most of whom were English. The British flotilla intervened and the war began.

The missionaries, obviously interested only in the first event dealing with the persecution of Christians, were always on their guard.   As often happens, too many alarms diminished the vigilance.   And that is what happened on 15 September 1839 at Cha-yuen-ken, where Perboyre lived.   On that day he was with two other European missionaries, his confrere, Baldus, and a Franciscan, Rizzolati and a Chinese missionary, Fr Wang.   They were informed of the approach of a column of about one hundred soldiers.   The missionaries underestimated the information.   Perhaps the soldiers were going elsewhere.   Instead of being wary, the missionaries continued enjoying a fraternal conversation.   When there was no longer any doubt about the direction of the soldiers, it was late.  Baldus and Rizzolati decided to flee far away. Perboyre hid himself in the surroundings because the nearby mountains were rich with bamboo forests and hidden caves.   As Fr Baldus has attested for us, however, the soldiers used threats to force a catechumen to reveal the place where the missionary was hiding.   The catechumen was a weak person, but not a Judas.   Thus began the sad Calvary of John Gabriel.  The prisoner had no rights, he was not protected by laws but was at the mercy of the jailers and judges.   Given that he was arrested it was presumed that he was guilty and if guilty, he would be punished.

A series of trials began. The first was held at Kou-Ching-Hien.   The replies of the martyr were heroic: – Are you a Christian priest? – Yes, I am a priest and I preach this religion. – Do you wish to renounce your faith? – No, I will never renounce the faith of Christ.

They asked him to reveal his companions in the faith and the reasons for which he had transgressed the laws of China.   They wanted, in short, to make the victim the culprit. But a witness to Christ is not an informer.   Therefore, he remained silent.

The prisoner was then transferred to Siang-Yang.   The cross examinations were made close together.   He was held for a number of hours kneeling on rusty iron chains, was hung by his thumbs and hair from a rafter (the hangtze torture), was beaten several times with bamboo canes.   Greater than the physical violence, however, remained the wound of the fact that the values in which he believed were put to ridicule: the hope in eternal life, the sacraments, the faith.

The third trial was held in Wuchang.   He was brought before four different tribunals and subjected to 20 interrogations.   To the questioning were united tortures and the most cruel mockery.  They prosecuted the missionary and abused the man.   They obliged Christians to abjure and one of them even to spit on and strike the missionary who had brought him to the faith.  For not trampling on the crucifix, John Gabriel received 110 strokes of pantse.

Among the various accusations, the most terrible was the accusation that he had had immoral relations with a Chinese girl, Anna Kao, who had made a vow of virginity.   The martyr defended himself.   She was neither his lover nor his servant.   The woman is respected not scorned in Christianity, was the sense of John Gabriel’s reply.   But he remained upset because they made innocents suffer for him.

During one interrogation he was obliged to put on Mass vestments.  They wanted to accuse him of using the privilege of the priesthood for private interests.   But the missionary, clothed in the priestly garments, impressed the bystanders and two Christians drew near to him to ask for absolution. The cruelest judge was the Viceroy.   The missionary was by this time a shadow.   The rage of this unscrupulous magistrate was vented on a ghost of a man.   Blinded by his omnipotence the Viceroy wanted confessions, admissions and accusations against others. But if the body was weak, the soul was reinforced.   His hope by now rested in his meeting God, which he felt nearer each day.

When John Gabriel told him for the last time:  “I would sooner die than deny my faith!,” the judge pronounced his sentence.   John Gabriel Perboyre was to die by strangulation.

With Christ priest and victim: Then began a period of waiting for the imperial confirmation.   Perhaps John Gabriel could hope in the clemency of the sovereign.   But the war with the English erased any possible gesture of good-will.   Thus, on 11 September 1840, an imperial envoy arrived at full speed, bearing the decree confirming the condemnation.

With seven criminals the missionary was led up a height called the “Red Mountain.”   As the criminals were killed first, Perboyre reflected in prayer, to the wonderment of the bystanders.   When his turn came, the executioners stripped him of the purple tunic and tied him to a post in the form of a cross.   They passed a rope around his neck and strangled him.   It was the sixth hour.   Like Jesus, John Gabriel became like a grain of wheat.   He died, or better was born into heaven, in order to make fall on the earth the dew of God’s blessing.

Many circumstances surrounding his last year of life (the betrayal, the arrest, the death on a cross, its day and hour), are similar to the Passion of Christ.   In reality, all his life was that of a witness and a faithful disciple of Christ.   St. Ignatius of Antioch wrote: “I look for him who died for us; I yearn for him who rose for us. Behold, the moment is near in which I will be brought forth!   Have compassion on me, brothers!   Do not prevent me from being born to life!”

John Gabriel “was born to life” on 11 September 1840 because he always had sought “him who died for us.”   His body was brought back to France but his heart remained in his adopted homeland, the land of China.   There he gave his witness to the sons and daughters of St. Vincent who also wait to be born to heaven after a life spent for the gospel and for the poor.

After the then-obligatory waiting period of 50 years after death for seeking a person’s canonization had expired, a cause for him was introduced to the Holy See.   In the meantime, his remains were returned from China to France, where they were entombed for veneration in the chapel of the Vincentian Motherhouse in Paris (see images above).

(via AnaStpaul – Breathing Catholic)

[terraclae]

The city of Paramo

Arodan and the residents of castle Paramo head into the city itself. All dragons are in bipedal forms.

Lore pings: @cityofinoue @yuushanoah-fr

‘This is your first time here right?’

‘Yes.’ The city was vastly different from what Arodan had imagined. There were the cave homes he had expected but otherwise the city was far more modern than what a massive hollow under the ground should allow. The layout of the city was mostly rectangular and the streets were wide enough for generally all dragons to pass through in a non bipedal form. The houses itself looked like they were built from the stone around it or on top of existing houses with many forms of greenery winding around it. Arodan wondered how one grew plants underground for a moment until he took note of the bright fixture of energy that beamed at the ceiling of the cave in the very center of the city. The spires that held up the cave no doubt were lined with machines and wires that could only be intended for pumping air into the underground city and creating condensation which piled up at the ceiling of the cave and fell as rain. Judging by the many lights and windows along the walls of this massive hollow there must have been walkways along the sides. ‘Woah.’

‘You're daydreaming.’

He snapped out of his thoughts and wonder to look at Carmen who had gone to pacing before him, backwards. ‘I've never been in an underground city, much less so one like this. It's new for me.’

‘You look like a first-timer. It's kind of funny.’ She chimed. With a hop and a skip she landed right next to Arodan again to walk besides him. ‘Eyes all starry and mouth catching flies.’

‘Hey, it's too early to start making fun of him Carmen.’ Epoch walked up to Arodan's other side and glanced around him. ‘At least give him until the noon hour.’

‘You're not getting to make fun of him darlings, he's under my watchful eye today.’ Kassa had been trailing ahead of them all this time alongside Atlas, all the way from the castle. Only now they decided to speak up. ‘We have a disaster to avert.’

‘The disaster at our doors or…?’ Carmen's eyes which had momentarily focused on Kassa now drifted back to Arodan. ‘Ah, I get it.’

‘What was that again about not making fun of me in the early morning?’

‘Lighten up Danny, it's all in good faith.’ It was Atlas that spoke up this time. He carried a rather large halberd with him at the moment. ‘Everybody, change the subject or I'll tattle to king Balam.’

‘What are you, my dad?’ Epoch said, with only a hint of humor. ‘Ah well, we will split up soon anyway.’

‘Before we do, can I ask you a quick question?’ Arodan asked, turning to Carmen and Epoch. ‘How does that artificial sun on the ceiling work?’ He wondered if they ever dimmed a light of such a magnitude, and how difficult that might be. ‘Doesn't it mess with the sleep cycles of the residents?’

‘Ah, you're right to ask us.’ Carmen and Epoch chimed in unison. Epoch continued. ‘It is linked to the natural cycle of day and night. If it's night outside, it will automatically dim until it's completely extinguished, and if the sun rises it'll steadily lighten up.’ Carmen followed up with ‘It has a connection to the surface to a machine that measures the daylight outside so that is how it roughly keeps up with the actual time.’

‘Ah, that's interesting. I take everything strapped to those pillars is for air then?’ Arodan continued to ask and focused in particular on a pillar closest to their location. ‘How did you build all this? There's even greenery, I'm impressed.’

‘Aw shucks.’ Carmen waved her hand in odd fashion to wave away the compliment. ‘We had some help. In the past Stratus Corporation did a lot of business with the city of Paramo and that is how we have all these technological advancements. I designed all the magic dependent systems though. It used to be a bit more archaic and that did work, we still have those systems that aren't dependent on a constant flow of magic, but transitioned to the new one consistently as new cargo arrived to make all of this possible.’

‘Via boat?’

‘Yep!’ Carmen and Epoch chimed in unison. The mention of boats seemed to capture Epoch’s attention in particular. He was the one to continue speaking. ‘It was a smaller trading vessel of the clipper variety used more often for transporting building materials before it was retired. It's name was the Saltspray, I got to view it once.’

‘That's…. A lot.’ Or well, everything was relative. For Arodan the current conversation and his current surroundings were a sensory overload. The city around him was bustling with shoppers, spotters and restless souls going about their days. The shops, now he looked closer, were richly decorated with hanging trinkets, with stalls before their doors loaded to the brim with vegetables and fruits, and too much, too much for his head to comprehend.

No wonder outside forces wanted this city and its castle, it was almost too idyllic.

Before he could stop himself he had asked ‘So what's the catch?’

‘The catch?’ Carmen asked, turning her head in an odd manner. ‘What do you mean?’

‘The city’s sheltered, and we are running out of space.’ Kassa answered. They glanced over their glasses but it seemed like their heavy eyelids still hid their eyes. ‘Unless you're fine with living in a cave for the rest of your life you might grow bored with it too.’

‘Well, it's not that bad right?’ Carmen added, catching on to what Arodan had meant. ‘I mean, it's safe in here.’

‘You're asking a claustrophobic.’ They snickered and glanced towards Carmen. ‘And I just want to fly, stretch my wings a little.’

‘Well…’ Carmen scratched her head and had already decided she wasn't going to argue with Kassa, with a look that could only mean it must have been routine at some point. ‘Anyhow!’ She perked up and turned to Arodan. ‘Me and Epoch are going to be running around town to run some errands, by the time you're done we’ll probably be telling stories in the park over yonder.’ She pointed towards a small park set in between two buildings which seemed a little overgrown. ‘Let's meet up there again once it's time to head back to the castle.’

‘Alright. You okay with that too Dan?’ Atlas glanced sideways at Arodan and readjusted the halberd on his shoulder. Arodan nodded and he turned his head to look another direction. ‘There's this shop owner I was supposed to meet, thingy for Balam and something for me.’ He walked off and absentmindedly waved at the group behind him. ‘So later dorks, have fun.’

‘Let's head off too then.’ Epoch turned the other way and hooked his arm into Carmen’s. ‘Kassa, leave him in one piece and keep the amount of feathers to a minimum, will you?’

‘Yes, yes.’ Kassa grinned as they said this. They weren't going to keep their promise when it came to feathers, that was certain. They firmly grasped Arodan’s bicep and tugged at him to follow along. ‘Let's get you armor darling, can't have you dying anytime soon.’

‘Easy on my arm.’ Arodan snapped, pulling himself loose. Kassa was a lot faster with their big strides and fast pace and he had trouble keeping up. ‘So, are you certain that they have armor that fits me? I'm not good with heavyweight armor.’

‘Just the way you look at things is a dead giveaway. I can tell you to start lifting weights but there's no time to get beefy now, no?’ Kassa headed into a narrow alley which was cast in the darkness of the buildings it was in between. ‘So, if you know your magic well, that is what your armor will be tailored to.’

‘As long as it's not too gaudy and protects me from harm I'm fine with anything.’ He near tripped over a crate in the alley and wondered where in the blazes Kassa was taking him. ‘Oh, and do not make it green, I hate the color green.’

‘What a shame, I had a lovely shamrock body armor for you in mind.’ Kassa jested. They exited the alley into a small courtyard between buildings, where mostly elderly dragons sat reading books or newspapers. ‘No worries though, I think you'll only look good in blues or blacks to be honest.’

‘And orange?’ He came to a halt before a small shop in a corner of the square. It looked as if it had seen far better days but was still being cared for lovingly. ‘What is this place?’

‘My favorite place in this city. It's been here for ages and before we permanently closed Paramo.’ Kassa answered, opting to not go into Arodan's question whether he'd look good in orange. They opened the door which loudly creaked as it moved inwards. ‘If I wasn't a strategist, this is where I would work.’

‘I guessed so.’ He sounded almost sarcastic as he said this and entered. It occurred to him this shop didn't really look like it had been built with dragons in mind. The musty carpet under his feet definitely felt dragon made however. ‘What was that about the feathers anyway?’

‘Oh, dear Epoch doesn't know why I like to use feathers in fashion, but I will let you in on a secret.’ Kassa hummed, and picked a particularly fluffy coat from a nearby rack with a copious amount of feathers sewn to it. ‘Tell me, what are feathers?’

‘A very complex organic structure coating avians but also some dragons, that allows flight and grants insulation?’

‘Yes.’ But that definitely wasn't the answer Kassa was expecting, judging the look on their face. ‘They are hollow.’ They pulled a feather out of the coat in question and held it up to Arodan. ‘Now tell me what you see.’

It took a few seconds for a green fluid to start leaking from the tip of the feather and even then it did not leak fast. Arodan beheld it with wide eyes. ‘... Poison?’

‘Good boy.’ Kassa returned the coat to the rack and took the feather along to dump it in a bin down the aisle. At the very end of it was a vast wall lined with armor plating of various kinds. ‘I made that coat. The feathers don't loosen particularly easily and are rather sharp.’

‘For what purpose? Why would you make something like that?’ Arodan asked them as he frantically followed. ‘I didn't think you actually made clothing.’

‘It is my passion!’ They hissed, coming to a skidding halt by the wall. ‘My hands were made for making clothing! They just ache to create!’ They threw their hands in the air in a moment of excitement. ‘Just because I'm not a tailor by trade doesn't mean I'm not one by heart and skill.’

‘Alright, I get it, but I meant the poisonous feathers.’ He backed away defensively. ‘How did you get that anyway, isn't that Serthis poison?’

‘Oh, that.’ They shrugged and held up their hands in a noncommittal gesture. ‘Trader’s secret. And it's more for the fashionable assassins under us or the folks who want to be discreetly armed against abusive figures.’

‘I see. You have more of that hanging in here?’

‘Half the fashion in this store was made by her.’ A new voice echoed from the back of the store and soon a four eyed figure appeared in the doorway. ‘Luckily she works faster than they sell, there's just no end to it.’

‘They is fine Estelle, he's good company.’ Kassa responded, and the mirror quietly bowed her head in apology. ‘Arodan, this is Estelle, she owns this shop.’

‘Pleased to meet you.’ She presented herself with a little flourish and looked very out of place in an environment such as this one. Her brown eyes revealed she must have been from earth territory. ‘I'm known as Estelle, and I do not answer to pet names. Please just refer to me by my name.’

‘Don't worry, I understand.’ Arodan shot her a knowing look and extended his hand. ‘I'm Arodan. You seem familiar… Somehow.’ She reminded him a little of someone else he had met a long time ago when he was roaming the outskirts of the Hewn city. She had a similar square face. ‘Do you make clothing too?’

‘Sometimes.’ She said. Her voice had a deep mellowness to it that reverberated uniquely through the room. ‘I'm better at selling fashion than making it but that is fine with me. What I do make often tends to be armor.’

‘Peculiar. This place seems to be rather well hidden.’ Arodan glanced around the shop and found plenty of racks had yet to be restocked. ‘I take you're a popular venue?’

‘Sometimes.’ She repeated, and her lips curled into a small smile. She didn't look like she entertained the emotion of joy a lot, dressed in all black and with gloomy eyes. ‘So, new boy, where you from? You don't look like a true blue iceborn dragon.’

‘I was raised in a light-aligned clan. Lots of shade hunters, people who are a little bit uh…’

‘Holier than thou?’

‘Exactly.’ Arodan said, a sigh escaping him. He could hear Kassa stifle a laugh behind him. ‘It was fine but I wanted to travel and see Sornieth.’

‘Ah, I see. So how do I know you're not similar to the sort of people you grew up with?’ Estelle asked, finding the counter behind her to lean against. ‘You know, y’all seem to be keen on appearing better than the rest.’

‘Miss, the last few weeks I've got a few too many revelations, so I'm not going to argue with you on that.’ He soured a little at that but she was right. ‘How did you end up here?’

‘Same reason as you. I wanted to travel, I just sorta stumbled upon this place. Caer let me in.’ Estelle now sat on the counter and sometimes she leant to look around Arodan. Kassa must have been doing something behind him. ‘What about you?’

‘I fell off a ship and almost died.’ He said. At this point it wasn't really a particularly strange thing to mention anymore. ‘Atlas was the one who fished me from the ocean, I couldn't remember initially but after I collected my thoughts I recalled what happened before I was put in the cells below the castle.’

‘Ooh, that's rough buddy.’ She pat his shoulder from her spot on the counter and dropped off it in the process. ‘At least some shining white knight saved you.’

A knight was not the first thing Arodan thought of when he thought of Atlas but he digressed. ‘Yeah, it's good to be alive.’ There was a clattering behind him and he whipped around to see Kassa had dropped a pile of various types of armors at his feet.

‘I need you to fit all of these.’

At this point Arodan knew better than to start arguments with the generally more hard headed residents of Paramo. Fairly well was the proper description of it though because he refused to fit a few armors on the grounds of it being too much and that he needed something simple.

At the end of a long selection of armors he was left sizing up himself in the mirror wearing a fairly lightweight black one, decorated with swirls. ‘I like this one.’

‘You are boring as sin.’ Kassa hissed. They were perched on one of the racks, clutching their pipe between grit teeth. ‘At least you didn't pick a cape.’

‘A cape would be-’

‘Don't. Think. Of it.’ They pointed their pipe at him in threatening fashion, then put it back between their teeth in absentminded manner. ‘But this will do fine. Plenty of magical protection clings to this one and it will deflect most weapons for a while like it’s nothing. And I can probably decorate it a little because it's so plain now.’

‘Exactly.’ He could feel the armor whirring with the enchantments that were granted to it, and it felt safe. He pulled the necklace from beneath it and slung it so it hung visibly on top of the armor. ‘It has to be this one.’

‘I'd say it fits him fine.’ Estelle said, who stood at Arodan's other side. She currently was readjusting a shoulder plate a little. ‘I take you're going out there to defend the city from the approaching threat?’

‘I'd like to, yes.’ He turned his head so he could look Estelle in the eye and nearly got his shoulder plate rammed against his nose in the maneuver. ‘Call it dumb, but I feel like I should.’

‘I'm not going to call anyone dumb for wanting to save a place that for me personally, means a lot.’ Estelle answered. ‘I think there's a lot of us that share that sentiment. We have different ways of expressing it, and Paramo isn't perfect, but it's ours and we love it. If I was better at fighting I'd go out there but I've found I'm okay with making armor for those that do and staying in the city to be a second wall of defense.’

‘That's noble.’

‘It's normal.’ She fastened the shoulder way in a proper way and tutted at the fact it had been fastened the wrong way in the first place. ‘If you have a home, someplace you really care about, you should be ready to protect it. I didn't get to do that back in Dragonhome, many others weren't brave enough, we’re not making the same mistake twice.’

‘But what if you die protecting it?’ Arodan asked. The shoulder plate sat what better now and actually clicked into place with the other parts of his armor. ‘Are you willing to put your life on the line?’

‘Listen, if you're going out onto the battlefield with the intent to kill people you should be just as ready to die too.’ Estelle said, harshly almost. ‘Especially the people commanding all these soldiers that are willing to fight for their cause. Kings and commanders should be just as ready to put their life on the line for their people.’

‘That sounds amazingly reckless.’ Arodan looked over to Kassa for a moment and back into the mirror. ‘People need someone to lead them.’

‘She isn't implying you should throw a leader at the enemy, just that you have to rationally realize that if you start fights you need to keep in mind you could get hurt.’ Kassa shrugged and breathed out through their pipe with such a force it sent a cloud of smoke billowing up in rapid pace. ‘I myself believe in survival at all costs, it fits snugly into her little mantra.’

‘You all are kind of nihilist.’ Arodan grunted, and spun around so he could view his armor once more. ‘But I can't say I can't see the logic of it either.’

‘Hey, you don't just have to go along with it either.’ Estelle said, walking back towards the counter. ‘There's less heavy subjects to talk about like divination and to be fair I like divination a lot more as a subject. Or gem collecting if you don't believe in that sort of stuff.’

‘I'll let you try and predict my future sometime. Why not?’ He could see Kassa was approaching him again with a look that could only mean it must have been time to leave. ‘Gems, that's my kind of thing though.’

‘Good. Come back sometime for a casual conversation then and we'll talk fancy rocks.’ Estelle hummed. She watched as Kassa took off and neatly stacked Arodan’s armor and mentally she was already tallying how much she was gonna charge for it. ‘Stay alive for me will you?’

‘I basically just met you.’ Arodan grunted some more and near squeaked when Kassa dropped a heavy piece of armor they pulled from his arm onto his foot. ‘What about being prepared to die?’

‘Then stay alive for Paramo. Then you can come see me after this whole mess has been cleared up.’ Estelle wrote a small note and left it on the counter. ‘Forgive me for being grateful Kassa brings new people along. It's fun being around people.’

‘Fine. I'll do it for Paramo.’ He now had several reasons to stay alive for and now he considered it summing it up as doing it for the city of Paramo was probably the most concise way to put it. ‘That's what I'll fight for.’

‘Good. Knock em dead.’ Estelle leant to look around Arodan again. ‘You going out to fight too Kas?’

‘A strategist is usually useless on the field honey. But I'll be there.’ Kassa replied. They hauled the entire pile over to the counter and had Estelle tie the pile together as they paid. ‘I know what you're thinking and don't you dare die on me either. I'd like for this shop to stay in business.’

‘Oh, I won't. But I'm gonna pike me some lanternheads if the opportunity arises.’ Estelle cheerfully responded. She raked all the coins to her side once Kassa finished stacking the correct amount and dumped the entire stack into a drawer. ‘Even if we evacuate. The city’s on edge but not afraid.’

‘I noticed.’ Kassa glanced at Arodan and they handed him the heavy pile of armor. ‘Anyhow, we should be heading off again. Too much to show our newcomer.’

‘Yes, sure.’ Estelle nodded and was halfway into the backroom again. ‘Lemme know when you have time off again so we can run this shop together for once.’

‘Babe, once I have time again you're not going to get a letter I'll just come here directly whether you like it or not.’ They walked the other direction with a wide and sharp grin parting their lips. ‘See ya Stella.’ They pulled Arodan along so he stopped lingering in the shop and a faint goodbye in return could be heard as they left.

‘So, is everyone in this city like that?’ Asked Arodan as soon as they were back in the dark alley again. He struggled more to walk now with the added bulk of his armor which wasn't as much heavy as that it had been handed to him in an inconvenient manner. ‘This-’

‘Roughly everyone that isn't old or a child wants to fight yes. If everyone here picked up a weapon and went out there we'd outnumber near army.’ Kassa answered, this time quietly warning Arodan for any jutting tiles. ‘Not everyone is made to be a soldier however. Some people are more built to be battle fodder so it's better to protect them from themselves.’

‘I see. That seems like a dangerous predicament.’ He huffed. Hopefully that wouldn't be too much of a problem. ‘What made them this way?’

‘What an odd question.’ Kassa mused over it for too long and didn't initially seem to understand what he had meant. ‘Some have just been burned by life. Otherwise they are just folks who came here out of curiosity and never left. So, either life made them this way or they themselves are responsible for that.’

‘Right.’ The city seemed similar to the castle in that manner, he thought. They approached the exit to the Main Street but Kassa stopped him before they could head into it. ‘What-’

‘I’d rather not have you sharing my little trick with the feathers.’ They started, tilting their glasses down a little. ‘I'm cagey even with the little secrets, so, if you blab I will sew your mouth shut. Got it?’

‘Gods, fuck, yes!’ Arodan backed away and held his armor pile in front of him as if it was going to protect him from someone like Kassa. ‘No need to threaten me, sheesh!’

‘Good.’ Kassa pulled him out of the alley onto the street. ‘Now pretend like I never said that, will you darling?’

‘How am I supposed to do that?’ By their silence he could guess what they meant, so he didn't add anything to his question. Instead they walked, and chose to observe city life some more. The people around him varied greatly and even though the majority of the city must have been ice dragons he could still see there was a great diversity in the sort of people they were and what had influenced their behavior just by the way they walked or spoke to others. Even the way a baker argued with the next door undertaker was unique in its execution and it only occurred to him that he was staring as soon as Kassa had to haul him along by the shoulder again. ‘Kassa?’

‘What question do you have this time?’ They didn't turn to look at Arodan and instead dragged him into another street that seemed to have shops more specialized in knickknacks and toys of all kinds. ‘Do you ever stop?’

‘Not as long as I breathe.’ Arodan bluntly responded and immediately added ‘What do you know about the Shade?’

‘Oh, that is not something you should ask out in the open.’ They dragged him closer so he now walked practically wedged to their side so their conversation could be kept to whispers. ‘But I know as much as there is to know at the moment and that it's the most useful weapon one can have at their disposal.’

‘Weapon? Useful?’

‘If you know how to control it, it's useful for all sorts of things. Communication, offense, hands that don't tire from endless work…’ They seemed almost lyrical at that moment. ‘Why the question?’ They echoed his own words in almost mocking fashion.

‘I just sorta…’ He was a little scared now, he realized. ‘I want to know if you can still reason with someone who's fully taken by a shade infection.’

‘Oh, definitely no. The Shade is something you have to control.’ They noticed Atlas coming out of a shop in the distance. Good, he hadn't noticed them yet. ‘Someone like that isn't something you can reason with anymore. It'd be best to act then as if you're handling the Shade itself and not a person, and strike it down. Keep it on a leash.’

‘Got it.’ That seemed like the best answer at the moment. Maybe assuming all was lost in such a case would be the best option. For now Arodan chose to rush forward towards Atlas, so he could distance himself from Kassa as quickly as possible. ‘Atlas?’

‘Yo, Dan, got your armor already?’ His ears pointed up in excited manner and he turned to meet Arodan. ‘You should show me when we get back to the castle, I want to see it.’

‘Yes, I will, once Kassa is done decorating it.’ Arodan replied. He tried his best to tuck the armor under one arm so it wasn't in the way of his developing conversation with Atlas. ‘Is it time to head back already?’

‘Carmen and Epoch should be in the park by now, so not quite, but we can head over there-’ He searched through a large felt bag slung over the halberd he somehow was still holding, and retrieved a checkered board of sorts. ‘And I can teach you to play checkers. The pieces are scattered through the bag and it smells a little like garlic, hope you don't mind that.’

‘Well, that'll keep the bats away.’ Even if those didn't feed on dragon blood you could never be safe enough. ‘Let's go then.’

‘Aight, although…’ He came to stand at Arodan's left hand side and glanced over to Kassa. ‘Kassa’s giving you weird looks, so whatever you said to them, I'm gonna walk in between you two.’

Arodan only took a very brief glance at Kassa from the corner of his eye and they didn't seem out of the ordinary. It was when he got closer that he started to understand that their posture had bent in some invisible sense. ‘... Thanks.’

‘Tell me later what went down.’ On that note he headed over to Kassa, Arodan trailing besides him. It was as if a weight hung above him the entire walk back to the park that only barely lifted once they found Epoch and Carmen again, one that seemed to follow him to bed that night. Why, he wondered.