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justatiredpotato · 4 years

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Spring Snow (Oneshot)

Summary: Since Jinho enlisted you’ve been counting the days until his discharge. You reminisce about your last day together and can’t help but wonder if things will be the same after nearly two years apart. Will his feelings be the same? What does the future hold for the two of you?

Warnings: None really. I don’t write smut but things get kinda... spicy? Idk man I’ve never even held a guy’s hand xD

Total Words: 4,200~

You sat in the window seat of your small apartment, a cup of coffee cradled in your hands. It was Friday. Nearly two years ago you would’ve been getting dressed up for a date, planning where to take your darling boyfriend or wondering where he was taking you. When Jinho had to enlist in the military he tasked the rest of his bandmates with taking care of you. When they weren’t touring or promoting they made plans each week to take you to dinner or noraebang, or have a movie night. While you loved the boys and appreciated their concern, you still missed Jinho. You thought back to the last date he took you on, the day before he shipped out.

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You half expected him to make reservations at some fancy restaurant, five courses, evening wear and all that. But what he did shouldn’t have surprised you. He showed up at five in the afternoon, two hours before he was supposed to pick you up.

“What are you doing here already?” you asked. You were a little frustrated and very flustered as you pulled a sweatshirt over your thin tank top and twisted your still-damp hair into a messy bun.

“I wanted to catch you before you got all dolled up. Today is a casual date! Just you and me,” Jinho said.

As you stood there in your baggy sweats, messy hair and no makeup, he looked at you like you were all the stars in the sky. It was enough to make you blush and you turned away before he could melt you into a puddle on the floor. He caught your arm and spun you back to face him. You whined in protest but he dropped the bags he was carrying and wrapped his arms around you. He grinned, face an inch from yours.

“You’re so beautiful, Dove,” he said softly against your lips. He pressed his lips to yours, movements slow but passionate. The kiss was unhurried, not looking to escalate to anything else. After a moment your lungs protested and you pulled away for air. Jinho chuckled, leaning down to press a kiss to the exposed skin above the collar of your sweatshirt. You ran your fingers through his hair, scratching gently at his scalp and he hummed appreciatively.

He straightened to look at you, and you knew he was trying to memorize you. He wanted to be able to picture every freckle, every curve, all the complexities of your expressions. You did the same. You knew that a picture could never capture the closeness, love, and security you felt in that moment, in each other's arms.

“I brought movies and snacks,” he said. He peppered more light kisses over your face in between words. “Today is just for us. We don’t have to go anywhere. I just wanna be with you.” He held you a bit tighter as he said this, and your heart ached. You blinked rapidly, not wanting to ruin your day together by getting all emotional. Not yet. You didn’t have to say goodbye quite yet. You pulled away a little and reached to grab one of the bags he’d dropped.

“What movies did you bring?”

“We’ve got all the Marvel movies. Your pick.”

“You are such a nerd,” you teased, even though you would’ve chosen the same. He knew that, but feigned offence anyway. He grabbed the bags of snacks and chased after you to get his revenge for that comment. You laughed, setting the movies on the coffee table and dancing around your living room furniture to evade him.

“How dare you! I am the coolest!” he cried, dramatically dropping the snacks on an end table.

“Mhm, you’re the coolest ahjussi,” you said, brow raised in challenge.

“Ahjussi?” he said. “Oh you’re gonna pay for that one.” He dodged around the coffee table, and you shrieked before fleeing into the kitchen. You slid in your socks as you rounded the kitchen island.

“Careful, Dove!” he scolded, but he was laughing. You dashed back to the living room. He caught up just as you reached the couch. You squealed as he wrapped his arms around your waist and pulled you against him. He lifted you slightly off the ground, then flopped you both heavily on to the couch. You giggled breathlessly, still wrapped in his arms. The laughter only intensified when he slid his cold fingers under the hem of your sweatshirt and tickled your sides, the thin fabric of your shirt offering no defense.

“I surrender!” you finally cried, grabbing desperately at his hands.

“You surrender? What for?” he laughed, not letting up.

“You aren't an ahjussi. I’m sorry, oppa,” you hardly got the words out because you were laughing so hard. He relented, hands retreating to just hold you again. His stomach rumbled a little and you glanced at him.

“Snack time?”

“Snack time,” he confirmed with an approving nod.

While he broke into the bag of food, you picked a movie: the first X-Men.

“Good choice!” he said approvingly as the menu screen appeared. You took the remote and then returned to Jinho, who was summoning you with grabby hands and puppy-dog eyes. You sat as close to him as you could get without being in his lap. While that would’ve been nice too, it would’ve interfered with your snack eating ability, so it’d have to wait. You munched happily for a while before setting aside your bag of snacks in favor of leaning into him. The movie was one of your favorites, but you were far more focused on the man beside you. You pressed your face into his chest and he laughed, shifting so you could lay there more comfortably.

It took a lot of willpower to push away the emotions that suddenly hit you. Even though he was right there, you already missed him. Your mind already wandered to later that night, when you’d have to say goodbye. To the time a couple of months from then, when his sweatshirts would no longer carry his comforting scent. A year from then, when a whole twelve months, a whole four seasons would have passed while the two of you lead totally separate lives. Two years would pass before you could hold him like this again.

You pulled yourself from that headspace and tried to refocus. As subtly as you could, you wiped the few tears that managed to escape. Jinho shifted to hold you closer, laying you on top of him. If he noticed you crying he didn’t point it out, but you thought you heard him sniffle. There would be plenty of tears later. For now he wanted to pretend that nothing else existed outside of your cozy apartment.

After the first movie, with the sunlight fading outside your windows, the two of you decided to order takeout: warm rice soup for a chilly winter day. The snow fell in big fluffy flakes outside, muffling sound and making the world seem soft and quiet. You took your time polishing off a big bowl of soup and shared a couple bottles of soju.

By the end of the second movie you were left feeling warm and safe and happy, bundled together under a blanket. You were curled fully in his lap this time, arms wrapped around his neck so you could press soft kisses to it when the impulse struck you. Each time you did he tilted his head to give you better access and rubbed little circles on the small of your back with his thumbs. The closing scene faded to black and the credits started rolling. You glanced at the clock, startled by how late it was already.

“Jinho, don’t you need to go? You’ll miss the last train,” you asked.

“I don’t have to go. I could stay. I mean, if that’s okay with you of course,” he said. His fingers traced your shoulder blades as he gaged your reaction to his words.

“I’d like that.”

He smiled and placed a kiss over your brow. “Dove?”

“Hm?” you hummed, returning to your task of leaving teasing kisses along his neck and jaw.

“I love you.”

You pulled away to look him in the eyes, your own filling with tears. “I love you too,” you said. Your voice trembled, words hardly above a whisper. Then you kissed him passionately, trying to get across all the emotion you couldn’t put into words for fear of crying. Nonetheless, tears spilled down your cheeks. He pulled you to straddle his lap, holding your body tightly against his. His hands traced the curve of your waist and hips. You peeled off your sweatshirt; suddenly the room was very warm. He chuckled, taking the hint and laying bruising kisses along your collar-bone and shoulder. You moaned appreciatively, threading your fingers through the hair at the nape of his neck and tugging gently.

“Jinho,” you called breathlessly. He pulled away immediately, not wanting to go further than you were okay with. He looked over your face, gently wiping away the tears that stained your cheeks. “Can we go to bed now?” you asked nervously. His eyes widened a little but he smiled reassuringly.

“You sure?” he asked. He didn’t want to just take advantage of the emotional moment.

“Yeah. Very sure.”

He leaned in and kissed you again, soft and slow. “I love you. So much,” he breathed, resting his forehead against yours. Then he picked you up and carried you to your bedroom.

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aaaaaaaaaaand le skip, courtesy of this adorable soft boy right here

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As you sat in your cold, empty apartment you wondered if things would be the same when he returned? Could they be the same? Surely you’d both grown and changed in the time you were apart. Were you even the same people? You kept in touch with letters as much as you could, and he called you every chance he got. But even those phone calls had to be split between you and his family. You understood, of course. You loved him more for the care and attention he gave his family and his friends.

You sighed. Thinking like that wasn’t going to fix anything. You’d made yourself sick the last week or so with those worries. You needed a distraction. Maybe you should take the guys up on that movie night invitation. You stood and put your empty mug in the sink, you could wash it later. You changed into some comfortable jeans, pulled on a coat, and grabbed your keys. You paused as you went to turn the door handle. After a moment’s consideration you went to your room and grabbed one of Jinho’s sweatshirts and put it on under your coat.

Outside, the weather was shockingly cold for spring. There was an icy nip in the air, and the damp chill sank through to your bones. Somehow the cold only intensified the loneliness as you wished your person was there for you, ready to warm you up and keep you safe. You walked faster, hurrying into the train station. The boys’ dorm was only three stops away, so you arrived on their block in less than twenty minutes. You thought about texting them and letting them know you decided to join, only to realize you forgot your phone at your apartment. It probably didn’t matter though. You dropped in unannounced sometimes, and they had planned on you coming anyway.

You stepped out onto the platform, and climbed the stairs to the street. Again a cold gust of wind hit you, stinging your cheeks. Something soft landed lightly on your hair. You looked up at the sky and found the grey clouds were sprinkling snow. You held out your hand to catch one of the fluffy crystals and it quickly melted away in your palm. You’d seen snow all through the winter, and it had occasionally made you think of the day you’d parted with Jinho, but for some reason that day it hit you like a bullet to the heart. You’d spent weeks worrying about how your relationship would be different when he returned and if he would still want you. Now it was so close to his return, but the remaining time seemed to drag on which only allowed your fears to grow. This random snow flurry on a spring afternoon was the straw that broke the camel’s back.

You didn’t even realize you’d started crying until you drew a gasping breath that became a sob. The freezing air burned your lungs, but once you started you couldn’t stop. Passersby gave you looks that ranged from judgemental to concerned. You put your head in your hands and tried to pull yourself together. One girl, walking with her boyfriend, even stopped to ask if you were okay. You managed a shaky smile and thanked her before hurrying on your way.

By the time you reached the door of the guys’ apartment complex you’d managed to pull yourself together a bit. You drew the occasional hiccuping breath, but the tears had stopped falling. You wiped at your face with the soft sleeves of your sweatshirt before punching in the code to enter the building. The elevator ride to their floor was awkward, the ahjumma that got on with you kept flashing you worried looks and you were glad that you arrived at your floor before she asked you anything.

You stood in front of the apartment door and took a steadying breath. Then you checked your face in the reflective metal trim of the door. The weather was a good enough excuse for your red cheeks and nose, and your eyes hadn’t gone too puffy. As long as your voice didn’t break the guys shouldn’t notice anything was wrong. You ran a hand through your hair to smooth the tangles from the wind, then rang the bell.

“Dove?” came Yuto’s voice from the intercom. He sounded surprised. “You’re here!”

“Yeah. Does the movie night invitation still stand?” you asked.

“Of course!” he assured you. “Dove’s here,” he called to the other guys. You could hear some kind of commotion happening in the background.

“Is this not a good time? I can leave if something’s come up. I should’ve called but I left my phone at home.”

“What? No! It’s fine,” Hwitaek said. There was a pause before you heard the click and cheerful chime as the door opened. “We were trying to call you so we could talk you into coming. I was actually going to come check on you since you weren’t picking up.”

“Sorry I worried you. That’s sweet,” you said. You took off your wet shoes and shrugged off your coat. Yuto took it and hung it on a hook by the door.

“We’re glad you came,” Yuto said. He smiled awkwardly and looked at Hwitaek, as if he couldn't think of something else to say. They seemed nervous for some reason.

“Dove!” Wooseok poked his head into the hall from the living room. He grinned and waved at you, obviously excited. You laughed at the enthusiasm.

“Hey Wooseok, how’s it going?” You walked down the hall and greeted him with a high-five.

“Awesome!” he said, eyes sparkling with a bit of mischief as Yuto and Hwitaek joined you in the living room. The rest of the guys were sprawled out across the couch, most of them bundled up to fight against the chill with various combinations of hoodies and enormous blankets. One of them had brought out a comforter and had it wrapped tightly around him so only his nose was visible. You did a double take back to him as you scanned over the room.

The boy wrapped the blanket tighter and you looked over the room, doing a mental headcount. Hwitaek, Yuto, and Wooseok stood next to you, Wooseok still smirking. Hongseok and Yanan were crammed into the corner of the sectional under a blanket where they’d been looking over Yeoone’s shoulder at something on his phone. Now they looked up to watch you.

“Glad you could make it,” Kino greeted you from his spot on the floor. Shinwon leaned toward him to whisper something in his ear and they both laughed. Finally, your eyes fell on the figure bundled in the comforter again. You frowned, not yet understanding. There was one extra person.

“Did Hyojong come by?” you asked no one in particular. This caused several of them to laugh again. Your eyes widened and you caught a familiar pair of warm brown eyes looking at you from the bundle of fabric.

“Jinho?” you said. Your voice was hardly more than a whisper but the blinding smiles on the guys faces told you they’d heard. The comforter shrouded figure stood and unwrapped himself, setting it aside. “Jinho,” you said again. This time your voice was thick with tears as your hands came to your face.

“Surprise.” He stepped forward to hold you but you were already there, wrapping your arms around his slim waist and pulling him close. In your hurry to hold him you knocked him off balance, forcing him to sit heavily on the couch and dragging you with him. Your knees bumped the frame of the couch as you fell but you didn’t care.

“Woah, are you okay, babe?” he asked, but you couldn’t spare the breath to speak. He lifted you slightly so he could pull you into his lap. He pressed kisses into your hair as you cried against his shirt. He hadn’t even changed out of his fatigues yet. “Hey, it’s okay. Are you okay?” he tried to soothe you but was also clearly a little worried.

“How?” you managed to gasp out, words muffled by his shirt.

“I got discharged a bit early. I wanted to surprise you.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. “I’d say you succeeded.”

He laughed with you but you heard his voice break. “God I missed you so much.” You felt a tear fall from his cheek to land in your hair, still damp from the snow. He squeezed you tighter and tucked his face to your neck. The room was quiet except for your quiet crying and Jinho’s attempts to take steady breaths. You heard a sniffle from the other side of the room and decided it was probably Hwitaek. After a moment Jinho pulled away and cupped your face in his palm, still holding you tightly to him with one hand around your waist.

“I love you,” he said shakily, forehead resting on yours.

“I love you too,” you answered immediately. Fresh tears fell down your cheeks but you didn’t care. And then, to your surprise, he kissed you. He wasn’t really one for that kind of PDA, particularly around the guys. Usually the furthest he’d go with others around was holding your hand, or an arm around your shoulders or waist. Your time apart had effectively dissolved any restraint he had though because he kissed you like he meant it. It wasn’t a pretty kiss, it was urgent, expressing all the need he’d felt and all the love he’d been waiting to give you over the last two years.

“Hey, keep it PG you guys. There are kids here,” Hui scolded as the boys cheered or booed, you couldn’t tell and honestly you couldn’t bring yourself to care. Jinho ignored the younger men, only pulling away when you were thoroughly breathless, cheeks dusted a bright pink. His eyes were still locked with yours and his tongue darted out to taste your lower lip. You blushed even brighter and turned away, suddenly aware that you had an audience.

“Alright, alright, save some for later. Jeez,” Shinwon teased, trying to play off the awkwardness of the moment.

You laughed, embarrassed. “Sorry.”

Jinho, however, was not sorry. He stood, placing you on your feet and pulling you out into the hallway.

“Jinho, wha-” you started, but before you could finish his mouth was on yours again. He pressed you against the wall, body flush with yours. Your hands grasped at his chest and shoulders. You noted the muscle he’d put on while in the military and your mind wandered, hoping you’d get a better look at him later. His hands wandered over your body, reacquainting himself with your curves. When his hands brushed over your stomach you caught his hands, embarrassed at the extra weight you’d put on in his absence.

“The gym wasn’t fun without you,” you explained as he kissed along your jaw. He persistently pushed your hands away, this time his fingers found the hem his hoodie you were wearing and slipped underneath to smooth over your bare skin.

“You're perfect,” he said. His words were muffled as his lips still pressed to your skin, but they still sent a flush of heat through you. He straightened to reconnect his lips with yours, running his tongue along the seam of your lips. You parted them slightly, happy to let him take the lead. His hands slid down to your hips, enjoying how soft you felt in his grasp. After several minutes--or possibly several hours, you’d lost all sense of time by that point--Hwitaek hollered at the two of you from the living room.

“Hey, perverts! Either take it to your bedroom or come have dinner with us civilized folk.” That earned a wave of laughter and several hoots and hollers from the other boys who had been pretending not to listen in the next room.

Jinho finally pulled away, laughing and stealing tiny kisses as he spoke. “I hate to do this, but I’m starving. I’d just barely walked in the door when you showed up.”

You smiled, bumping his nose with yours and pressing a kiss to his cheek. “Let’s go eat. We have all the time in the world now.” You turned to rejoin the boys in the living room, but he caught your wrist as you entered the doorway.

“Dove, wait. I want us to have all the time in the world. I never want to be apart from you again. Every morning, you’re the first thing I want to see, and I want to sleep with you safe in my arms every night.”

You smiled softly, giddy with the happiness of having him back and not fully processing what he was saying. “Me too,” you answered. He blinked, not expecting your calm response. He realized you weren’t getting the idea, so he cleared his throat and got down on one knee. Your eyes widened and your breath caught in your chest.

“What I’m trying to say, Dove, is I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He pulled a small box out of his pocket and the pieces finally clicked into place in your head. “So, will you marry me?”

Your mind short circuited and you found you couldn’t speak. Instead, you did the next best thing: you started sobbing. Jinho’s eyes went wide and he quickly stood and wrapped you in his arms.

“Babe? What’s wrong? If you aren’t ready that’s fine. We can wait-” he started, alarmed by your reaction.

You pushed away from him to look him in the eye. “No! I- Yes! I want to marry you. I really really want to marry you!” His worry disappeared and his smile warmed you like sunshine itself. He slid the ring onto your finger and held you close again. The guys cheered and clapped around you. Hui was recording it on his phone, looking a little misty-eyed.

“You scared me for a second there,” Jinho said. He ran a thumb gently over your jaw and kissed your forehead. “I would wait as long as you need me too, but I wasn’t sure how I’d survive much longer without you being mine.”

“Jinho, I already am yours.”

“And I’m yours. But honestly, I think I have been since the day I met you.”

Once you calmed down Jinho released you to accept high-fives and hugs from the guys. They all observed appreciatively when you showed off the ring, even though you knew they probably didn’t know an engagement ring from a ring pop. You all settled on the couch and ate pizza, which had almost gone cold. Shinwon busted out some champagne and movie night ended up being semi-drunken noraebang instead. It was an amazing night and you loved the boys for celebrating with you, but you were getting desperate to have some time alone with your new fiance. He seemed to feel the same if his wandering hands and persistent kisses were anything to go by. Neither you or Jinho had drunk half of what the boys did, so as the last of the guys were passing out you turned to him.

You had to wave Jinho away from your neck, where he’d set up shop, and speak up to be heard over the tragically messy ballad Hui and Kino was determinedly singing. “Do you wanna stay at my place tonight? I’m about ready to head out,” you said.

“Oh god, yes. Let’s get out of here.” He punctuated his statement with an enthusiastic kiss and pulled you to your feet. The last boys standing jeered childishly as Jinho led you out of the apartment and called a cab, but you ignored them. Jinho held your hand as the two of you exited the building and stepped out into the still lightly falling snow.

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A/N: Thanks to everyone who is following/reading this. I know most of you followed for BTS content but I just adore Pentagon and they deserve so much love!! I have a Jimin fic in the works, as well as a couple more oneshot/series ideas for Pentagon and MONSTA X. Please comment if any of those interest you, it really helps me stay motivated to write. Thanks! <3

#jinho fanfic #pentagon jinho #jo jinho #jinho #pentagon fanfic #pentagon

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tomorrowsdrama · 4 years

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Updated Drama Finished/Drop/Watch list

So even though I haven’t been posting as much, I’ve still been watching quite a few dramas. To be honest, I think I might have burnt out on binging. When every other day is spent watching a drama for long periods of time, it kind of becomes monotonous. That’s probably the quarantine talking though.

Finished since my last drama update

Psychopath Diary - Love, love, love. What a fun drama to watch. The characters were so beyond dumb but that was the joke. Yoon Shi Yoon and Park Sung Hoon had amazing chemistry and their serial killer/amnesiac-confused-wannabe-killer-but-not-really romance was hilarious to watch.

Hot Stove League - Loved this drama. Didn’t really go in expecting much but was pleasantly surprised. It’s written in a way where even if you’re not into baseball, it’s still interesting. More than a sports drama, it’s an underdog/rag tag team kind of story. Each week it was fun to see how Nam Goong Min would outmaneuver the bad guys with his brains. There was no romance (even though they totally could have!) but still enjoyable. Nam Goong Min continues his streak of picking good projects.

Romantic Doctor Teacher Kim 1/2 - I finished both seasons and I’m not entirely sure why lol. This drama was nice enough and had some cute moments but didn’t leave much of an impression otherwise. But somehow there was also something about it that compelled me to keep watching until I finished. I guess that’s why both seasons had such high ratings. If I had to pick which series to recommend, I’d probably pick the first season. If you hate annoying hospital politics and unrealistic violations of proper medical procedures, stay away.

Live Up to Your Name - Very cute and romantic with a side of sageuk. Kim Nam Gil is hot. Kim Ah Joong is hot. Together they save people and have hot make outs. I think this was the drama that kind of lightened up Kim Nam Gil’s image. Before that he specialized in angsty characters who were usually set on revenge and/or died. I kind of wish he’d go back to those roles from time to time. Haha, predictable, I know.

Tell Me What You Saw - Watched this solely for Jang Hyuk. It’s the first serial killer/procedural I’ve watch from OCN but from what I can tell, it follows the usual pattern of other OCN dramas of the like. I’d describe this drama as just fine. If gory scenes aren’t your thing, probably stay away from this drama. Some of the murders in this drama were truly disturbing.

Hyena - First drama I ever recapped. I was interested in this drama purely because of the Ju Ji Hoon/Kim Hye Soo pairing and I was not disappointed by their chemistry. The story could have been improved and I would have liked more time spent on the relationship but overall, the flaws were not enough to detract from the good. I need JJH and KHS to do a romantic drama on a cable network like TVN so we can get all the makeouts we deserve. If you’re looking for a fast-paced fun drama and don’t care too much for plot, this is worth a watch. Some people may find Geum Ja incredibly unlikable in the first four episodes but it gets better after that I promise!

Story of Minglan - Omg, where do I even begin about how good this drama is? This was actually my second time watching this drama. I think I finished all 73 episodes in 4-5 days (kids, don’t try this at home). I can go on and on gushing about this drama. Actually, I think I might have to do a separate post to properly talk about how much I loved this drama. Anyway, if you like strong and smart heroines, period dramas, fully-fleshed out characters, and an otp completely devoted to each other with brains and brawn, this is for you. It’s 73 episodes at 45 minutes each but I swear it still doesn’t feel like enough.

99.9 keiji senmon bengoshi - my first jdrama in yeaaaaaars and probably a decade since I’ve seen one starring matsujun. Fun, easy to watch, legal procedural with matsujun playing against type as a oddball attorney. Also, reunion of matsujun and eikura nana who last starred together in a movie about twins falling in love (wow the early 2000s were a wild time). I think I finished this in two days. If Japanese humor or recurring wacky side characters/gags isn’t your thing, probably skip this.

Dropped

Diary of a Prosecutor - This was fine but a bit too slice of life for my current tastes. If humorous slice of life without much drama is your kind of thing, I’d recommend this.

Meow the Secret Boy - Dropped after episode 10. Yes, I know what you’re thinking. Why not just finish watching the last two episodes? I didn’t drop this drama because I disliked it or anything. I just felt like I didn’t need to continue watching. When I first heard about the premise it squicked me out to be honest. Cat? As lover? Buh? I had no intentions of watching but then gifs for the first episode looked promising so I ended up watching it after all. And it was cute and fluffy, with a touch of magical whimsy, which was what I needed at the time. But as the episodes continued, it really didn’t go anywhere. The characters were one-dimensional and story was as paint-by-the-numbers as you can get. I hear that the webtoon it was based on was even less developed which...I don’t know how that could be possible. Anyway, I peeked at the last 10 minutes of the final episode and well, that ending was a choice hahaha. Still, I think this drama is harmless and dumb fun. It’s not something you should take too seriously. I mean, the cat literally turns into Kim Myungsoo.

World of the Married - Oh boy. Wow. This drama. Another drama I initially had no interest in after I read about the premise. Another dark drama about cheating and divorce? No thank you. The world is grim enough as it is right now. But then I saw posts about the drama on tumblr and it looked more makjang than grim. Hey, sometimes makjang can be really fun to watch. And the ratings were pretty high so I thought, there must be something entertaining about it? So I watched the first 3 episodes fully and I admit, it was pretty addicting if not infuriating. After episode 3, they really ramped up the infuriating parts of the cheating husband and his mistress so I watched a lot of episodes 4-7 on fast forward. The over the top makjang was indeed fun. But then it was at episode 7 that I realized the female lead was kind of a terrible character too. She was just as obsessed with the husband as he was with her. I read up on Doctor Foster, which is what the drama is based on, and seems like the husband and wife are just going to continue being terrible to each other. Watch two terrible people obsessively try to ruin each other’s lives? No thank you, I’ll save myself the heartburn. It doesn’t help that every other post about this drama seems to be people being pissed at the characters hahaha.

Good Casting - I’m going to have to quit this after 4 episodes. I tried since it seemed like a fun premise but I just couldn’t. This is the third drama with Choi Kang Hee that I’ve had to quit and I think I just can’t gel with her acting style. I know the tone is supposed to be hokey/comedic and they’re supposed to be bumbling on purpose. However, my problem is that they’re just really, really, bad spies even when I think they’re not supposed to be.

Currently Watching

Ever Night - I have the last 11 episodes to finish and I’m kind of sad about it. I know there’s a second season but it just doesn’t seem like the same drama.

When My Love Blooms - A lovely drama about second chance at love with the always great Lee Bo Young and my hot tall ahjussi crush Yoo Ji Tae. It feels kind of like an old school jdrama in how quiet it is. Might be too slow for some people though. I can’t believe I dropped one drama about adultery just to unknowingly pick up another one hahaha.

Six Flying Dragons - I haven’t started yet but I will definitely start it soon! Bang Won came to me in my dream so I think it’s time I finally watched this drama after putting it off for so long.

Will Probably Binge Later

The King: Eternal Monarch - Although I like the week to week excitement of watching an airing drama, I think I will probably enjoy this best by binging it. People seem pretty divided about this drama but you know what? Lee Min Ho’s hotness helped me make it through The Heirs so I have faith that it will help get me through this as well. Some dramas you watch just so you can stare at hot people doing romantic things, ok?

Born Again - The plot seems pretty convoluted so I think this will benefit from binging and fast forwarding. @dangermousie seems to be enjoying it and our tastes align for the most part. Plus, have you seen how hot Jang Ki Yong looks? Unless the ending is completely horrible, I’ll probably binge this once it’s done.

The Untamed - I mean, gay epic wuxia love? Count me in! I’m trying to limit the number of dramas I watch so this will have to wait until I at least finish Ever Night.

#sbs hyena #hot stove league #live up to your name #psychopath diary #ever night #tell me what you saw #story of minglan #99.9 keiji senmon bengoshi #when my love blooms #romantic doctor teacher kim #six flying dragons #meow the secret boy #drama list #kdrama #cdrama #jdrama

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rnufharose · 5 years

Text

Chapter 17

Words: 2k

Warnings: None

︻デ═一 ♥

"Appa!" Jiyoung exclaimed, running toward her father to give him a tight hug. "You're okay!"

He knelt before her, opening his arms and once he held her close, he didn't want to let go. "Of course I'm okay," he said. "I should be the one worrying about you. You must have been frightened."

"A little," she admitted. "But Jooheon oppa and Haneul unnie saved me."

The middle-aged man looked away from his daughter and toward Jooheon, who gave him a deep bow, and Haneul did the same, her hair slightly damp now after diving into the pool to save Jiyoung. "Thank you for saving my daughter," Jiyoung's father stood up. "How can I ever repay you two?"

"Ahjussi, there's no need for that," Jooheon waved a hand, chuckling slightly. "Just letting me spend time with her is more than enough."

"Meeting her is enough for me," Haneul answered.

Jiyoung turned around, tilting her head, slightly in wonder, "Unnie, are you leaving soon? I wish I got to spend more time with you."

"Me too," the brunette nodded. "But if you ever want me to come back to Jeju, I would be more than happy to."

"Jinjjah?!" She gasped before running and throwing her arms around Haneul's waist. "I would love that, thank you!"

Haneul smiled down at her, hugging her tightly, "It's no problem at all." After a few moments, she let go of the girl, bidding her and her father farewell and returning to Sehun and the others who resided outside the gate. Minhyuk, Changhyuk, and Kihyun had joined Shownu and with them were two members of the GOT7 Syndicate who had dealt with Eunjae, taking her back to the FT Clan who had sent her in the first place.

"Just make sure she doesn't try anything," Shownu said to Jackson who gave him a single nod.

"Don't worry. She's not gonna be causing any problems from now on," he smirked before turning to Mark. "Let's get going."

"Right," the older male said, and they left their place before MONSTA X, walking toward the car where Eunjae had been tied up in the backseat. Once they were inside, they drove away, and Haneul as able to breathe easy knowing that woman wouldn't hurt Jiyoung anymore.

"Thank you again for your help," Shownu turned toward the brunette and Sehun. "I'll let Junmyeon know of the good things you've done today. MONSTA X will forever be indebted to EXO."

"It's no problem at all," Sehun assured him, wearing his eye smile, "We were happy to help."

The older male chuckled a bit, eyes drifting toward Haneul and giving her a gentle grin. He walked toward her, towering over her and placing a hand on her shoulder, "You take care of yourself. Thank you for your help. MONSTA X will forever be in your debt."

"Please don't say that," she shook her head, returning the grin softly. "anyone would have done the same."

He gave a soft chuckle, turning toward Sehun with a solemn expression, pulling his hand away, "You take care as well. Tell Junmyeon I will be seeing him soon."

"I will," Sehun answered.

"This won't be the last time you'll be seeing us," Hyungwon said, making his way toward the girl. "I'll buy you dinner when the time comes."

"Uh, no, I'll buy her dinner," Jooheon grumbled, nudging the other male away and smirking at the girl. "What do you say? You willing to?"

Haneul stammered, looking between the two males, and Wonho was next to interrupt them.

"What?!" He stuck his bottom lip out in a pout. "No! It'll be me!"

"Guys," Minhyuk interrupted them, holding his hips, his tone loud. "Don't even think about it!"

"Aw, why not?!" Hyungwon questioned, and Changhyuk began to whistle, his eyes shifting toward Sehun who glared daggers in their direction.

"You might want to shut your cakeholes," the younger male warned them.

The three males went silent, taking a step back from Haneul, and Kihyun burst into laughter, only to mumble into Shownu's ear, "I guess his glare is more than enough to make them back off."

"You're right," the older male agreed, watching the raven-haired hitman close the distance between himself and Haneul. He had noticed that there were many significant changes in Sehun. He seemed happier, more protective, sensible, and it most likely had to do with her.

"Ready to go?" He asked, jerking a thumb toward the ferry.

She was silent for a moment, answering him with a nod, her lips curling into a smile, "I'm ready."

The two of them departed, heading toward the ferry, leaving Jeju Island to welcome the mainland. Night had fallen as they reached their destination, and Sehun and Haneul were now in his sleek black car. The freeway was lit by the passing lamps, the landscape of the countryside rolling by, waiting to reach Seoul in the next few hours.

Haneul was staring out the window, seated in the front passenger's seat beside Sehun, reeling over the events that had transpired hours ago. She had to admit, she was reckless in saying Jiyoung and she had almost drowned if Sehun didn't come to her aid in time, but she didn't regret it. She saved a life today and even though it couldn't make up for her not being able to save her grandmother, at least Jiyoung would be back safe in her father's arms.

"I was worried that you wouldn't make it," Sehun had broken the silence surrounding them, his hands still around the steering wheel, driving smoothly, eyes fixated on the road ahead where no cars were present. "what you did back there... that was terrifying."

Haneul looked at him slowly, catching the intensity in his gaze, and may slight hints of anger. He must have been very upset and disappointed with her, "I'm sorry," she answered quietly. "but I couldn't let her die like that... I know you were against me risking my life."

"Of course I was against it and I always will be," he stated. "I have to protect you."

"I know you have a job to do--" She tried but he interrupted her again.

"It's not a job," he corrected her. "I want to protect you, but you can't just throw yourself into danger. You could have been killed," His gaze softened, brows furrowing and his grip on the steering wheel wasn't so tight anymore. "I know that you think you're weak because you couldn't protect your Halmeoni but believe me. You're a lot stronger than you think."

Haneul lifted her head, turning to look at him with bewilderment. She held her hands in her lap, her eyes widening slightly.

"You've made it this far," he continued. "I'm so sorry about what happened to her but you still chose to live even after your Halmeoni passed away. You chose to stand on your own two feet and you chose to keep your friends safe. You even mustered up the courage to look me in the eyes. You may think you're a coward for not saving her but I think you're doing everything it takes to survive."

She dropped her shoulders slowly, closing her eyes and turning away, her hold on her hands growing tighter.

"I know you've shed a lot of tears," he spoke gently. "and that's okay. Keeping everything inside isn't the best."

"You're right," she mumbled. "I did cry... all the time... after finding out why this happened, it makes me wonder if maybe I'm tainted... if somehow, I was the reason why she was murdered in the first place..."

"I don't think that's true," Sehun glanced at her for a moment, frowning slightly at the sight of her distraught face. "I think you're very lucky. You were born into such a lifestyle, but you were fortunate enough to be taken to your Halmeoni and she raised you away from it all. Even after finding out, you're so kind and diligent. She raised you very well as if you never belonged to such a dark family in the first place. You should be respected and admired for that instead of having a whole clan trying to kill you."

For the first time in my life, someone has complimented me, Haneul could feel her waterline becoming heavy, stinging with tears.

"If anyone else were in your shoes, they would have taken their life a long time ago," Sehun continued. "or they would have let their origins get into their head and use that as an excuse to be a part of it all. But not you." The car began to slow down and he pulled it onto the side of the road, the engine going silent and he looked straight at her. "Neullie... you are the strongest and admirable person I know. You have no right to call yourself weak."

The brunette could feel a lump in her throat, her lips quivering as she pulled her hair out of her face. It was overwhelming, having lost it all and suddenly being welcomed by this man. Even more so when he continued to say good things to her—words she wasn't sure she should believe.

"My God," she sniffled. "Why are you doing this to me? ...Ah, jinjjah..."

The older male still looked at her with a saddened expression, watching her shoulders quiver, suddenly growing smaller before him.

"Don't you say these things to me, I'm trying to hold everything in," she pleaded, wiping away her tears. "Every time I hear someone take my side, I can't help but..." she trailed off, now sobbing before him, covering her face in her hand. "Don't say such nice things to me! Don't take my side, just don't! Stop saying I'm beautiful! Stop staying you're proud of me! No one has ever complimented me before so—so it makes me feel weird! I'm trying to hold everything in so why do you make me cry?!" She sobbed loudly now, her face completely covered by her hands. "Y-You say these things now but I know, in the end, you'll—"

"I won't," he cut her off, looking at her with soft eyes. "I'm not the kind of guy who will leave you behind. I promise you that I will never make you cry. I'll remind you every day who much a good person you are so you'll never forget. I'm going to make sure you smile every day, so stop your nagging and just accept my compliments."

She pulled her hands away from her tear-streaked face, releasing a shaky breath and facing him, "Oh Sehun. You need to be careful! What if I actually end up falling in love with you?!"

He couldn't help but chuckle, her words so innocent in her eyes but to him, it was so much more. Maybe this was what he was feeling for the longest time. Maybe this is why he felt such a pull toward her. She was the one to pull him out of the darkness and little by little, with each passing day, she was becoming his light--his whole world. This girl was changing him and he was accepting every minute of it and as long as she stayed by his side, she too will realize what is going on between them.

"If you do, that will make me happy," he smiled kindly. "Then I'll know you've returned my feelings."

He was in love with her and he wished with all his heart that one day, she will return his feelings.

#romance #eventual fluff #eventual romance #eventual smut #eventual happy ending #exo #sehun #exo sehun #bts #oh sehun

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inyournightmares97 · 6 years

Text

My Youth (Chapter 4)

Broken and miserable, Park Jinyoung returns to his hometown to learn that no matter how hard he falls, there are still people who think he’s a hero.

Warnings: Mentions of suicide/depression, angst, slow build, maybe some language.(Please don’t ask when I’ll update. Wait until the series is finished to read if you’re impatient.)

Word Count: 5.2k+

(Can’t put links to the other parts here, please check my Masterlist/the reblog for the Prologue and Chapters 1, 2 and 3)

Jinyoung found you crying behind the playground.

You were sniffling, nose red and eyes puffy. You attempted to hide your tears from your friend the moment you saw him approaching but Jinyoung’s sharp eyes had already seen them. He kneeled in front of you; his small hand came to rest on your shoulder.

“Yah. What are you doing back here? I’ve been looking for you!” Jinyoung cried.

You looked up at six-year old Jinyoung and promptly hid your face in your arms. Your voice was muffled when you spoke. “I-I don’t want to talk. Leave me alone.”

Jinyoung withdrew his hand and stood up, placing his hands on his hips. You had always been a bit of a crybaby. One glance at the empty lunchbox next to you was enough for JInyoung to figure out the source of today’s tears. He sighed.

“Did Wooyoung-hyung steal the chocolate cookie your Mom packed you again?” Jinyoung demanded.

You simply let out another sniffle.

Jinyoung bit his pink lips and then sighed, sitting down next to you. He crossed his legs and tugged on your arm to force you to lift your head. When you looked up at him, he had a playful smile on his face.

“Wooyoung-hyung is a big jerk. But you don’t need to cry about him. I’m going to get my revenge on him. Want to know how?” Jinyoung asked cheerfully.

Despite your tears, you were curious.

“H-how?”

“When I grow up, I’m going to become really rich. Then I’m going to hire a bunch of big, muscular bodyguards and send them all to beat up Wooyoung-hyung if he ever tries to come near you. And I’ll buy you lots and lots of chocolate cookies,” Jinyoung promised. He was relieved when a small and shy smile appeared on your face through your drying tears.

“C-can your bodyguards steal his cookies too?” you asked.

Jinyoung beamed. “Of course! I’ll order them to steal all his cookies and bring them to you. You can have an enormous pile of cookies and we can eat them together while Wooyoung-hyung cries and begs us to share one with him.”

You giggled. “Okay.”

“Are you happy now?” Jinyoung asked hopefully, nudging your shoulder.

You pouted slightly and looked down at your empty lunchbox. You had been so excited about the big, homemade chocolate chip cookie your mother had packed as part of your lunch. “But my cookie is still gone,” you mumbled sadly.

“My Mom gave me a slice of cake in my lunchbox. I’ll share with you.”

Your eyes brightened. “Really? You’ll give me half?”

“What?” Jinyoung cried indignantly. “Half is too much. It’s MY cake. You can have maybe, a quarter.”

“What’s a quarter?” you asked innocently.

“It’s when you split something into four parts and then you take one of those four parts…” Jinyoung trailed off and narrowed his eyes at you. “Hey. Weren’t you listening in class when Mrs. Lee taught fractions last week? She explained that a quarter is one-fourth.”

You smiled sheepishly. “No.”

Jinyoung rolled his eyes.. “You’re useless. Come on, let’s go. I’ll even let you have one-fifth of my cake.”

“Wow. Is that more than one-fourth?”

“Sure it is. Five is a bigger number!”

---

Jinyoung wished he could stop hiding.

As he sat on the bench near the school playground and watched the excited children running out to meet their parents, he wondered what it would be like to be one of them.

Maybe it would be nice to be among the young ones: running instead of walking, delighted to be done with another day of school. It might even be nice to be one of the parents: picking up your son or daughter and smiling along with them as they told you about their day at school, feeling proud as they showed you a star or a certificate or some made-up award they’d earned.

Theirs is a small world, Jinyoung decided. A small but happy world.

He kept the hood up to cover his face as he watched all the children and the parents slowly trickle out of the school ground. Jinyoung flinched every time someone looked in his direction but their gaze never lingered on him for long; he felt like a ghost. Was he even visible? Did he even exist here? He wasn’t sure.

Within fifteen minutes, the school ground was soon entirely deserted except for one boy. A small six-year old was kicking around a worn out football on the grass. The kid struggled to make the ball go very far. His legs were small and his aim poor. Jinyoung watched him for a while. The boy’s kicks became more frustrated and one of them finally sent the ball spiraling in Jinyoung’s direction. It stopped a few feet away from the bench.

“Ahjussi!” the boy called out, looking nervous. “Can you kick the ball back over here?”

Jinyoung blinked. It was a simple request but for some reason, his body wouldn’t react. The small boy watched him for a few seconds before running over to collect the ball himself. He clutched the ball to his chest and then stood there for a long moment, staring at Jinyoung with his mouth slightly open.

“Ahjussi…” the boy began again, slowly. “Are you Batman?”

Jinyoung swallowed. “No,” he replied. He felt a little lost. How did one talk to a six-year old kid? He had spent so much time around adults that he didn’t quite know what to say to this mushroom-haired, open-mouthed child in front of him. Jinyoung clenched his fists. “I’m-uh… I’m not Batman. Do you like Batman?”

The boy nodded with a shy smile. “Yeah.”

“Why do you like Batman?”

The six-year old paused and blinked, looking thoughtful for a moment. “Because… Batman doesn’t have parents either. And he’s really rich.”

Jinyoung paused. He doesn’t have parents either? Was this young boy an orphan? He wondered how a child could say something like that so casually when an adult would have felt uncomfortable about it. Jinyoung folded his arms across his chest.

“Do you want to be rich?”

The boy nodded. “Yup!”

“Why?”

“So that I can buy people lots of presents and then everyone will like me!” he replied brightly. The little boy’s eyes shone at the thought. He shifted the worn-out football from one arm to another and then blinked. “My name is Ki-woo. What’s your name, ahjussi?”

“Jinyoung.”

The boy’s eyes widened at the sound of the name. He suddenly looked ecstatic; even more than he had when he’d assumed Jinyoung was Batman. He dropped the ball and came running over to Jinyoung in excitement. “Jinyoung? You mean… like Park Jinyoung? The one who went to this school? Are you Park Jinyoung? I thought he was older than you”

Jinyoung panicked. What? Did even the kids in this little town know who he was? Why did this six year old get so excited at the thought of a businessman? He swallowed nervously and frowned.

“How do you know who Park Jinyoung is?” he demanded.

“Park Jinyoung is my hero!” Ki-woo burst out. “I want to be just like him!”

Jinyoung felt a lump in his throat. No, you don’t, kid. You don’t want to be anything like me. He suddenly felt ashamed. How did this little kid think he was an appropriate role model for anything? Children shouldn’t be looking up to him. Nobody should be looking up to him. He didn’t deserve to be placed on that sort of a pedestal.

“Park Jinyoung’s not that great,” Jinyoung burst out suddenly. HIs tone was acidic. “He’s not a hero. He’s not even a particularly great human so why don’t you go find yourself a better hero? Stick to Batman or something. At least Batman could kill his enemies successfully.”

Ki-woo’s eyes began to brim with tears but he stared at Jinyoung defiantly. “Batman doesn’t even kill people! You don’t know anything ahjussi!” He yelled, upset. Jinyoung was startled when the small boy clutched the football to his chest and began to run away from him. His tiny legs carried him back to the school building just as you emerged from the door.

“Ki-woo?” you asked the red-faced boy in surprise. He was nearly in tears. “Isn’t anyone here to pick you up yet? Why are you…”

Ki-woo ignored you and went back into the school building. You made to follow him and then sighed, thinking better of it. Jackson Wang was in charge of looking after the kids until they got picked up by their parents today, he would handle the problems. You looked up and saw Jinyoung standing by the schoolyard and staring at you silently.

“Did you say something to Ki-woo?” you demanded as you approached him.

Jinyoung blinked at you, dazedly. “What?”

“Why is he crying?”

Jinyoung’s dark eyes went wide and he looked affronted. He folded his arms across his chest.

“What- I didn’t say anything! The kid started some nonsense about how I was his hero so I told him to stick to ordinary superheroes like Batman. Why the hell is a six--year old kid idolizing a businessman anyway? Even if my company used to make cars and electronics, it’s absurd!” he cried, annoyed. You stared at him in disbelief. Who even spoke to a six-year old kid like that? Didn’t Jinyoung have the slightest bit of common sense?

“You’re an idiot,” you told him firmly.

Jinyoung bristled. “Is that really something you want to say to me?”

“I don’t really have much to say to you at all. You’re the one who asked to meet me because you had something to talk about,” you reminded him. Jinyoung’s eyes were still wide and he suddenly lowered them to the ground, as though he was ashamed. He bit his plump lips carefully and you took a deep breath. No. You shouldn’t treat Jinyoung that way. Jaebum’s voice echoed in your head reminding you of the suicide note.

Let me try and be nice to Jinyoung today. It won’t kill me.

Jinyoung took a deep breath. “Yeah. Yeah, I wanted to tell you about certain things, I…”

“Do you want to take a walk?”

“Huh?”

“I’ve been sitting all day because I was working on report cards and stuff. I kind of want to stretch my legs.” You pointed down towards the green riverbank under the bridge. “Can we walk? I doubt anyone will see us there at this time of day.”

Jinyoung looked at you doubtfully. You were giving him a soft smile and even though it had been ten years, he recognized the look in your eyes. It was your sympathy look; the look you gave helpless things. It was the look you gave a little kitten before you wrapped it in a blanket. It was the look you gave a crying child before you offered him a lollipop.

It was the look that said don’t worry, I’m here to be strong for you. I’m here to help.

Jinyoung had never imagined he would be on the receiving end of that look. He had always thought he would be the one taking care of you.

“Yeah,” he said quietly. “Let’s take a walk.”

------

The weather was beautiful but Jinyoung couldn’t bring himself to pay attention to it.

This riverbank had seemed enormous when he was a child. You and Jinyoung had spent many summer breaks doing silly things here. Climbing trees, digging holes and finding worms. He remembered your favourite game in the second grade. Jinyoung had played the evil dragon that had would steal and hide the gold and you were the brave knight who would fight him and retrieve it. The pair of you had tried switching roles but you hadn’t been able to do the evil dragon voice quite the way Jinyoung did.

Even while playing pretend, you had never been able to be the bad person.

“This place used to be much bigger,” Jinyoung mumbled as he stepped over a tree root.

“No, it’s the same as it always was,” you told him dismissively. “You’ve just probably seen much bigger lawns and bigger rivers now so your perspective has changed.”

Jinyoung bit his lip. “Huh.”

“I see you’re still wearing this awful hoodie,” you commented, tilting your head in order to be able to see his face underneath it. At least Jinyoung had foregone the mask for today. His pink lips and soft skin were visible. “Do you even wash this thing or do you have multiple identical black hoodies? Is that a thing celebrities do?”

Jinyoung’s lips twisted into a wry smile. “It makes me feel safer.”

“It makes you feel safe to come to a school dressed in a black hoodie and looking like a kidnapper?” you replied with a raised eyebrow. “A few of the parents came inside today and told me there was a creepy man hanging around in the school yard. I convinced them you were a repairman waiting for all the kids to leave. You’re lucky nobody called the cops.”

Jinyoung flinched. “They’d call the cops just because I’m wearing a black hoodie?”

“The cops in this town don’t have very much to do.”

Jinyoung took a deep breath and tilted his head up towards the sky. He squinted at the bright sunlight and then parted his lips to let out a soft, tired sigh. “I guess I can’t hide from people in this town forever. Still, I want to enjoy this while it lasts.”

“You don’t seem like a guy that’s enjoying himself.”

Jinyoung glanced at you sharply. “Don’t I?”

“Not in the least.”

Jinyoung looked down at his hands and then stopped walking. The ground sloped down into a small, grassy hill and he sat down on it carefully while wrapping his arms around his knees. You paused and then sat beside him. The river rumbled softly.

“What did you want to talk about?” you asked him finally. You had hoped that giving Jinyoung a bit of time would prompt him into opening up but he hadn’t said anything significant until now. He leaned back and let out a dry laugh.

“Nothing you don’t already know,” Jinyoung said. His eyes squinted down at the river intently in order to avoid your gaze. “Jaebum probably told you already but I decided that I should preserve my last shred of dignity by telling people myself. The only thing worse than everyone finding out that I lost my entire life’s work is everyone finding out through the papers.”

You turned to face Jinyoung fully. His hands were trembling again, even though his face betrayed very little emotion. Fear.

“How did you lose everything?” you asked quietly.

Jinyoung laughed drily. “The same way most people in this country lose everything. I got fired.”

You stared at him in disbelief. That made no sense. “How the hell does someone get fired-”

“-from their own company?” Jinyoung asked. His tone was condescending. “Come on, you know better than that. I started the companies but I don’t own them. It was my intention to keep them private companies in order to retain a certain amount of control but… the possibility of expansion was too tempting. I wanted the investment too badly so I took a calculated risk. We went public three years ago.”

You blinked and nodded. The entire town had been delighted when the news of Jinyoung’s company going public had emerged. A couple of the townspeople had contributed money to invest in a small number of shares as a gesture of support.

Jinyoung probably had no idea they’d done that.

“I remember reading about GOT Tech going public. Your IPO was wildly successful. Everyone was desperate to buy the stocks of GOT Group companies because the predicted growth rates are always so high. That was when your company became big enough to compete at the international level,” you pointed out.

Jinyoung blinked at you in surprise. Did you keep up with things like that? He hadn’t expected you to. In fact, he rather hoped that you didn’t know much about what he did.

“When people give you money, they get a say in what your company does,” Jinyoung explained bitterly. “It stopped being my company when we went public. It became the shareholders’ company. And they don’t care about integrity and they don't care about long-term investments. They want quick profits. They want dividends that they can pocket. They want returns and they don’t want to wait for them. The Board of Directors are the same. Greedy bastards, every last one of them.”

“So they fired you?” you demanded.

Jinyoung sighed. “I fought against their proposals for taking over a bunch of other companies. It’s common industry knowledge that some of these companies are only making profits because they’re corrupt. Why should I bring those corrupt people and corrupt systems under my company and risk them messing up my business? I wanted to keep things clean. I didn’t want to expand just for the sake of expanding, I wanted my business to grow organically and steadily. The Board of Directors don’t agree and they decided that they wanted me out. In fact… they’re probably sitting in a meeting this very moment and passing the final resolution that will dismiss me.”

“That can’t be legal. Don’t you have evidence that they’re taking over corrupt companies?”

Jinyoung looked at you in disbelief. “Do you think those companies will just hand over the evidence because I ask nicely? I’ll only get access to records like that once we take them over. And by then they’ll be a part of our company so exposing them would only destroy us.”

“So they decided to fire you.”

“They fired me,” Jinyoung replied. His voice was trembling and he closed his eyes for a moment. “They took the companies I built from scratch over the last decade and they told me to get lost. They took my hard work and my name and my reputation and threw me out onto the streets.”

“And you’re sure this is legal-”

“You think I didn’t try to fight it?” Jinyoung snapped. His eyes were red as he glared at you and you could hear the anger in his voice. “I tried, I tried so much. Jaebum is one of the best corporate lawyers in the country. He looked over every single aspect but fuck, if the Board of Directors wants to fire someone then they can fire someone, okay? It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have let those greedy men on the Board. I shouldn’t have gone public just to get more investment.”

“That’s not your fault,” you muttered. “They-”

“They’re going to organize a press meet tomorrow,” Jinyoung said quietly. “To announce that they decided to fire me. It’s probably going to say things like I was acting against the interests of the company and that my management abilities were sub-par. They’re going to take every chance they can to humiliate me and the press will drink it all up. The public will drink it all up.”

“But you did the right thing-”

“Nobody cares,” Jinyoung hissed. His hands were trembling harder than before and he turned to look at you. Jinyoung’s dark eyes suddenly revealed everything. You could see the pain and the vulnerability hidden behind his pride. How had he hidden that so well?

“Do you think people care what’s right and what’s wrong? They care about success. I’m a failure. I’m that stupid, young CEO that fizzled out too early. I’m the guy who rose up too quick and then got booted from his own company. I’m the guy who spent ten years building something and then had it taken from me like a piece of candy.”

“So you decided you had nothing left in this world and to kill yourself?”

Jinyoung flinched. “No.”

“Jaebum told me about the suicide note-”

“I was angry!” Jinyoung defended himself. He turned and looked at you. “I couldn’t bear the thought of letting them get away with it, of letting them profit from my hard work for the past ten years. I thought maybe if I killed myself then it would get them enough bad publicity to ruin the acquisitions.”

You stared at him in disbelief. “That is the most idiotic thing I’ve ever heard anyone say. How could you even contemplate-”

“Relax,” Jinyoung cut you off, his voice growing quiet. “Turns out killing yourself isn’t exactly easy.”

You fell silent at that, not knowing how to respond. Part of you wanted to reach out and give him a hug. Another part of you was afraid that he would push you away. What would a hug do for a man who thought he had lost everything and returned to his hometown in disgrace? Jinyoung simply stared down at his hands and then suddenly let out a soft, low chuckle.

“What’s so funny?” you wondered.

“I guess it was harder to keep it all in than let it out,” Jinyoung admitted. He turned to you and suddenly, his eyes were softer. “I can’t tell the general public or the media why I opposed the acquisition. I don’t have any evidence so it’ll just be considered slander and they’ll sue me. Everyone’s going to think it’s my fault. I guess I just wanted a few people to know the truth before the articles come out and I’m ruined.”

“Who else have you told?” you asked. “Does your mother know?”

Jinyoung closed his eyes. “It’ll break her heart. She thinks her son is a successful businessman.”

“No. She thinks her son is happy.”

There was a long silence. You didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to comfort Jinyoung. You couldn’t help but feel that had this happened ten years ago then you would have known exactly what to say to your best friend. But now your mind was blank. You could only stare at the man who had dedicated his life to chasing success with sympathy.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Jinyoung muttered. “I hate that look. That look of disappointment. Everybody’s going to give me that look from tomorrow onwards. Even that stupid- even that stupid kid at your school who think I’m his hero. How’s he going to feel when he finds out his hero is a failure?”

“You don’t know how Ki-woo is going to feel,” you replied quietly. “Because you don’t even know why you’re his hero.”

Jinyoung scoffed. “Because I’m rich and successful?”

“Did he tell you that?”

“No.”

“Then-” you paused because your cell phone rang. You checked the caller ID: Jackson Wang. You noticed Jinyoung peeking at your phone and answered quickly. “Hey, Mr. Gym Teacher. Is everything okay? Huh? Ki-woo? Still? Yeah, I’ll… I’ll take care of it. Sure. Tell him to wait in the schoolyard and I’ll send someone to walk him home. Yeah. Bye.”

You hung up and noticed Jinyoung watching you curiously. He averted his eyes when you looked at him.

“Can you do me a favour?” you asked Jinyoung lightly.

“Huh?”

“I need a favour. That kid from earlier, Ki-woo. He’s from the local foster home and the social workers can be careless sometimes, they forget to send someone to pick him up because they have so many other kids. Can you take him safely to the foster home?”

Jinyoung winced. “Me? I’m not good with kids. You do it.”

“I have a lot of other work to do,” you replied. “Besides, you owe me.”

“I owe you?”

“Yeah. Tomorrow is your Mom’s birthday. You forgot, didn’t you? Don’t worry. I ordered the cake and I arranged for all the food. Your Dad is going to grill the meat. We’re throwing a barbecue party at your house with all the neighbours,” you told Jinyoung simply.

His eyes widened in horror.

“You can’t invite all the neighbors over to my house! The news about my getting fired is coming out tomorrow, how can I face everybody after-”

“You can,” you told Jinyoung firmly, glaring at him. “And you will. You know why? Because you owe it to your mother to do something for her birthday besides reminding your secretary to buy her an expensive, luxury gift that she didn’t even want. I’ve seen those handbags and perfumes. She doesn’t want them. She just wants you to be there and I don’t care if I have to drag your dead body to the party, you will come. You don’t even have a job right now so I’m not taking your excuses.”

Jinyoung blinked at you. “Wow.”

“What?”

“I don’t remember you being this scary. Is it because you’re a teacher now?”

You smiled at him lightly. “Well. At least you’re not pretending to have forgotten me anymore.”

He frowned. “I wasn’t pretending to have forgotten you, I just-”

You waved him off quickly with a smile. You had made your decision. Park Jinyoung didn’t need a shoulder to cry on or somebody to pity him. He didn't need to be babied around or validated. What Jinyoung needed was someone who could show him that his priorities were messed up and that he needed to get his shit back together.

It appeared nobody was up for the job but you.

So be it.

“Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow at the party, then!” you replied, standing up and dusting off your pants. “I’m headed that way to the bus stop. Take good care of Ki-woo!”

“You’re not seriously expecting me to take the kid home-”

You nodded. “Of course I am. And while you’re at it, do yourself a favour. Ask him why Park Jinyoung is his hero.”

---------------

Jinyoung wondered why this little kid made him nervous.

He walked into boardroom meetings and international conferences without breaking a sweat but this small, six-year old kid who was standing alone in the schoolyard and waiting for someone to pick him up made Jinyoung’s hands tremble. He took a deep breath and walked up to Ki-woo.

“Hey, kid. Your teacher sent me to take you home.”

Ki-woo looked up at Jinyoung dully and nodded. “Okay.”

Jinyoung wondered if he should take the child’s hand but decided against it, keeping his hands stuffed in his hoodie pockets while Ki-woo clutched his football and hurried to keep up with him. The boy stared at the ground as he walked, shuffling his feet. Jinyoung took a deep breath as he slowed down his pace.

“Hey, kid.”

Ki-woo looked up at Jinyoung silently.

“I’m, uh… I’m sorry about what I said earlier. About Park Jinyoung. You can pick whoever you want to be your hero,” Jinyoung muttered. He noticed how Ki-woo’s dull gaze softened and became a little more hopeful. “I just thought that Batman would be a cooler choice than Park Jinyoung, that’s all.”

Ki-woo blinked. “Are you really sorry?” he wondered.

“Yeah.”

“Adults don’t usually say they’re sorry,” he mumbled.

Jinyoung sighed, wondering what this poor little kid had been through to have never heard an adult apologize. “Yeah? Well, they should. Especially when they do something wrong. So I’m sorry.”

“I guess it’s okay, ahjussi. But I still want to be like Park Jinyoung someday. He’s really cool.”

“Why do you like Park Jinyoung?”

“Because he’s King of the Playground!” Ki-woo replied brightly. The light had returned to his eyes and it suddenly struck Jinyoung how easy it was to make a small child happy. Ki-woo bounced on his feet in an attempt to keep up with Jinyoung’s long strides. “Haven’t you heard the story of how Park Jinyoung became King of the Playground? Our teacher told it to us during storytime!”

Jinyoung raised an eyebrow. “She did, did she?”

“Yeah!”

“I’d love to hear it.”

Ki-woo bit his lip. “I’m not very good at telling stories. But I’ll try! So a long time ago, there was a little boy who went to this school and his name was Park Jinyoung,” Ki-woo began excitedly. “He was a really nice and smart little boy but he didn’t talk much and he didn’t have a lot of friends.”

Jinyoung couldn’t hold back a smile. “I’m sure he had at least one friend.”

“Well yeah, I think he had one friend but nobody else in the class really talked to him or his friend,” Kiwoo replied dismissively. “And sometimes the older kids would try and bully Park Jinyoung and his friend but Park Jinyoung could never stand up to them. But! Park Jinyoung had a super-power that nobody else knew about!”

“Did he now?”

“Yup! Park Jinyoung was really brave. So one day during recess, even though he’d never climbed a tree in his life, he decided to challenge the old oak tree. None of the older kids could climb the tree because they got too scared after a while. But Park Jinyoung really wanted to be named King of the Playground. So he just started climbing the tree and he climbed and he climbed and he climbed,” Ki-woo explained excitedly.

“Mmhm. Did he get very high?”

“He climbed so high that the other kids could barely see him!” Ki-woo cried. “So they started chanting his name to encourage him! And then Park Jinyoung finally reached the top of the tree and he wrote his name there!” Ki-woo cried. “He became King of the Playground!”

“So Park Jinyoung is your role model because he climbed a tree?” Jinyoung demanded with a laugh. He suddenly felt lighter; a soft laugh rumbled in his chest. Of course a child didn’t care about a businessman or his money. Theirs is a small world, Jinyoung remembered suddenly. “Do you want to become King of the Playground too, Ki-woo?”

Ki-woo nodded. “Our teacher says that after he became King of the Playground, a lot of kids wanted to be friends with Park Jinyoung. He had a lot of friends but he never stopped being best friends with the girl who was his friend before he climbed the tree.”

“That was nice of him,” Jinyoung mused.

“And you know the coolest part?” Ki-woo asked, eyes twinkling.

“What?”

“Nobody ever beat Park Jinyoung’s record after that! Our teacher says it’s been nearly twenty years but not a single kid could climb higher than Jinyoung. So he’s still the King of the Playground,” Ki-woo explained wistfully. “I wish I could be that cool. I wish I could have been King of the Playground for that long. I wish I could be King of the Playground even for one day.”

Jinyoung felt his stomach turn as he remembered how proud he’d been when he climbed the tree. If somebody had told Jinyoung when he was six years old that his record would remain unbeaten for twenty years then he would have cried in joy. And this small child, all these years later, admiring him for a feat that he had forgotten he’d ever accomplished.

“I think you can do it, Ki-woo,” Jinyoung told him quietly.

“Huh?”

“I think you’ll be able to beat Park Jinyoung’s record someday.”

Ki-woo smiled up at him hopefully. “Do you think the other kids will want to be friends with me, then? I wish I had more friends.”

“I can be your friend.”

Ki-woo blinked. “But ahjussi, you’re old.”

Jinyoung frowned. “Hey. How do you plan on making friends if you’re going to be that picky?”

Ki-woo looked thoughtful for a moment and then shrugged. “Okay. I guess we can be friends. Will you promise to share your cookies with me?”

“I promise.”

As Jinyoung listened to the little boy chatter on, and pictured you sitting with a classroom of six-year olds and telling them about Park Jinyoung, the King of the Playground, he couldn’t stop the smile from spreading across his face and the warm feeling that exploded in his heart.

Maybe, in the thirty or so years that Park Jinyoung had spent on this earth, there were other achievements he’d left behind.

Small ones, yes.

But achievements all the same.

----

#got7 #got7 scenarios #got7 scenario #got7 angst #park jinyoung #got7 jinyoung #jinyoung scenarios #jinyoung scenario #jinyoung angst #got7 fanfiction #got7 drabbles #got7 series #got7 imagines #jinyoung my youth

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gwynne-fics · 7 years

Text

Silver Lining

chapter forty-three

Father waited for him and frowned when sat down. “This is the second month you are late. What is wrong with the company?”

“Nothing,” Young-Do said quickly as he set his empty briefcase down beside his chair. He kept his head bowed because that was what Father liked. “Our stock is up another three percent from last quarter. I…I need to be more careful. I was informed that we’re being watched.”

“I always assumed that. That’s why you aren’t stupid and bring anything with you.” Father sounded disgusted with him. At least he didn’t make any snide comments about Hyo-Shin. “Do you have the software yet?”

“No. I’m working on a proposal. Abeoji, my relationship with Cha Eun-Sang is not adversarial. I would like to keep it that way as I hope to have children with her and make this last.” He caught Father rolling his eyes and it made him angry. “Our shareholders like her. It is because I am selling my relationship to her the right way that I have recouped the losses from my mistake. If I am caught cheating on her, it will devastate the company all over again. I am being careful for good reasons.”

“Real men aren’t careful. They take risks to get what they want. You shouldn’t let this woman have any kind of control over you. I’m not surprised, given your poor judgment in the past. I heard your precious wife fucked him, too. You must be so jealous of her.”

Young-Do breathed in through his nose and out through his mouth. He slowly stood up and bowed. He wasn’t going to let Father convince him to do anything that might hurt his relationship with Eun-Sang. It was the only thing he had that wasn’t tainted by Father.

“If you had your way, I would be the one in that jail cell. My judgment was poor because you deliberately withheld vital information from me about that account. I never would’ve tried to use it or guaranteed it if I had known it was empty and useless. I am a real man. Even if I was gay, Abeoji, I would still be a real man. I will see you next month.”

He left before Father could get worked up and yell at him. He still didn’t trust that glass to hold Father back. Young-Do went out to his car and thought about never returning to the prison. He knew he wasn’t strong enough to cut Father out of his life. Good sons did not ignore their fathers in prison but he didn’t want to be a good son right now.

Young-Do pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. He took a long, slow drag and exhaled smoke in the autumn air. He didn’t know how Eun-Sang felt about smoking so he decided he would wait to see her until the smell of it faded.

He picked up his phone when Eun-Sang texted him an invitation to have lunch with her and the bird girls. Young-Do briefly closed his eyes and called Hyun-Shik. “I need a full day that keeps me out of Seoul. I don’t want to get home until after ten.”

His secretary didn’t even question his demand. “There are two properties that need site inspections. Will that work?”

“Yes. Thank you. Send the details to my phone. I’ll leave from the prison.”

“Of course, sir.”

Young-Do texted his apology to Eun-Sang and was relieved that she didn’t push him. After their painful conversation last night, he didn’t know how to handle being around her. He wanted, more than anything, to go back to the moment before he made love to her on the couch and they both cried. He wanted Hyo-Shin to…stop being a part of their relationship. He wanted to be a better man to Eun-Sang but he didn’t know how because the only example he had was the very man he was trying to avoid.

He didn’t even know why he cried. He tried to convince himself that sex he had with her yesterday wasn’t the best he’d ever had. It didn’t work because it was the best sex he’d ever felt.

His first site inspection was one of his clubs on the edge of one of the less reputable parts of Seoul. Part of the reason Hyun-Shik wanted him to look at it was because of rumors that it had become a front for some drug runners. Hyun-Shik thought Young-Do’s presence would spook them off.

Part of him was grateful that the inspection took all day and revealed that there had been a staff change hidden from the Zeus managers. It allowed him to get intimately involved with their records and make some calls to clean up the club. He closed it down before going home. It almost worked to keep his mind off of Eun-Sang.

When he arrived home, he was surprised she was in the kitchen, standing in front of the stove. Wook greeted him at the door and took his briefcase and jacket. “President Cha requested that your driver inform her when you were on your way home. She wanted to wait up for you.”

Young-Do tried not to gape at the stoic butler as he was herded to the kitchen table and Eun-Sang set…beef and bean broth soup in front of him. Once they were alone, she met his eyes and he caught the familiar glint of determination in her.

“It would be easier to avoid each other after last night,” she said frankly. “I’m not dissuaded by hard things. So we’re going to talk about our days at work instead of our awkward sex. Work might not be a safe topic but it is something we’ve got in common. I’ll start.”

“Eun-Sang—“

“Eun-Hee put together a gift for you as a thank you for the toy you got her.” She pointed at…a very detailed drawing of a standard car engine. Everything was labeled correctly in a child’s handwriting. It included a thank you note for both the gift and the movie about talking cars. Young-Do picked it up with reverent awe. “She wants to impress you. I think she has a little bit of a crush on you.”

“I’m sorry,” he said after a few seconds. “I really couldn’t come to lunch.”

“These girls really do understand that. They saw how busy you were at the movie.” Eun-Sang reached over and took his hand. Her fingers were cold. “The bird girls like you, Young-Do. They don’t know anything about you except that you are nice to them. I just want you to know that even if things are weird between us, there are three little girls who think you are the coolest man they’ve ever met. Jae-Hee called you Tower Ahjussi. Even Sung-Hee, who hates everything right now, likes you.”

His throat hurt and he had to clear it several times as he let out a low breath. “I don’t want things to be weird with us. I don’t know how to fix it because I don’t know how to…” He didn’t know how to love her the way Hyo-Shin had loved her. That was her standard for everything important.

“I just want you to feel secure in our life. We are building this together. We’re both bound to make mistakes. I’m sorry I hurt you last night.”

“No,” he said quickly. “I’m sorry I misunderstood your attempt to explain your feelings. I’m sorry I’m not…”

“I’m glad you’re not him. You don’t have to be sorry for that. How were your site inspections? I hear those can be scary on both ends.”

He took the out she offered him and tried to concentrate on the amazing soup she’d made him. “I have a drug dealer trying to use one of my clubs. I didn’t even know that the management had changed. Sometimes it feels like every time I put out one fire, another three spring up in its place.” He paused and then set down his spoon. “How do you feel about spending a weekend in a small, country hotel?”

“Incognito or with bells on?” She put some kimchi on his rice bowel and he automatically ate it before she could take it back.

“I don’t know if it is possible for me to go incognito but I want to try. The manager is making excuses for his bottom line and I want to see if they’re real or not. It’s going to involve a lot of market research and it might be boring. There is supposed to be a tour package offered by the concierge but he claims not to need one. A concierge is—“

“Part of the Zeus hotels experience.” She smiled faintly. “Hyo-Shin would only stay at hotels under your umbrella whenever we went on a small holiday. It wasn’t often but we went to the one in Jeju and it was amazing. I’m only bringing it up to show you that I have a basis for my perspective and opinion.”

He had to be able to show her a better time. It would be difficult to pull off but he might be able to do it if he put enough time into researching the area himself. “Do you enjoy hiking?”

“I’m not a camper but a day hike can be fun.” He tried not to show his disappointment. He owned a camping ground that he held employee events at once a year.

“I’ll set it up and have Hyun-Shik work with your assistant on your schedule.”

“Alright.” Her smile didn’t seem forced so he chose to believe that they were relaxing around each other. “Is the soup okay? I don’t make this often enough to be good at it but Hee-Jin said you request it at the beginning of the month.”

Young-Do blinked and looked down at his empty bowl. “This tastes like home to me,” he said after a minute. It was the last thing his mother made for him before she left. “It’s my comfort food. The beginning of the month is when all the problems rise to the top. I’m sure you know what it’s like as a president.”

“I do. I ate about six rolls of gimbap today.”

“Gimbap?”

“There’s a stall close to my offices. They are amazing. I’m sure you’ve had gimbap.”

“Of course I have. I just…”

“He hates it.” Eun-Sang grinned cheekily as Young-Do ducked his head. “He hates it so much. He likes to pretend he isn’t a food snob but he won’t touch it.”

“But it’s so easy when you’re busy and there are stalls everywhere.” For the first time, it didn’t hurt. He found himself smiling at her. She smiled back and placed a piece of braised potato on his rice. He reached out and did the same with the fried zucchini. “No fish?”

“I can’t handle the bone crunch. There are some in the fridge. Would you like me to get it?”

“No. It’s not my favorite either.” He swallowed and reached for another bowl of soup. “Thank you,” he said after a moment. “It’s nice to feel like someone waited up for me.”

Eun-Sang’s eyes softened and she reached across to squeeze his hand. “Tell me more about your country hotel.”

#silver lining

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7fics · 8 years

Note

2young: Jinyoung and Youngjae are both country boys. While Jinyoung has been very careful trying to shed his "country boy image" and become more prim, proper and, well "city-like", Youngjae is very carefree, less tact, doesn't realize how embarrassing he is. On one level it pisses Jinyoung off, on another he's envious, and maybe, on a third level, he's a little fond of Youngjae

warnings: the word ‘dying’ is mentioned in one bit but in a non-serious manner!!

author: jo

word count: 3.2k

a/n: a new author……..oh boi…jo here with my first fill :’’’^) this was lovely to write and this prompt was so so interesting. i wouldve loved to explore more of this fic but i hope i managed to do it half its justice anyways TT-TT

Dust settles in the creases of Seoul. Night pools and dims through the grubby windows of some friend of a friend’s apartment and Jinyoung finds himself, once more, biting down into his lip. In his head his plan, so carefully worried and ploughed and pulled apart, of going to the capital for school was meant to be his escape. That grand great beyond, that soul searching journey, an opportunity to what could lie spread out before him and all that yadda yadda.

Except.

“Hyung, I’ve been trying to find you for ages!”

The flush red of Youngjae’s cheeks can only mean he’s been drinking. Coerced probably, he’d always been too good of a dongsaeng and pleasing strangers was a talent and tool. Helping ahjummas and ahjussis across the road, picking up fallen groceries, drinking himself silly for upperclassmen who don’t know his name.

Sloppy and fawn-footed, he pushes through the crowd just to tumble down to his side onto the couch, all laughs and smiles and his eyes creased into his grin.

“Are you hiding from me?” Youngjae’s satoori is at peak strength whenever he’s emotionally inebriated, and now too, Jinyoung purses his lips, when alcoholically.

His nose wrinkles at the clamminess of the hand pressed into his elbow, the fruity puff of some amateur concoction leaking out of his rough, familiar accent. It’s annoying, no matter how many times Jinyoung scolds himself. The jarring difference between city and home sitting beside him. He shuffles further down his seat.

“I’m not hiding,” He mumbles and the eyes trained on him squint in suspicion, “I’m sitting right here in plain sight, Youngjae yah.”

“You say that but you’ve barely talked to me all night,” the younger answers back, a little whiney, all dignity awash in part coke, part rum, and, judging by the smell, part pine-lemon dishwashing liquid.

With anyone else, the sticky, self-indulgent truth of how he felt, he wouldn’t mind biting out. His heart, however, is weak, “That’s because I’ve been busy. Talking.”

“With who?”

There’s some guy on his left, Jinyoung has no idea who despite having sat next to him mulling (not brooding) for a good half hour, but he pats his knee, awkward and sweating, and prays. “Just…this guy.”

“What?” The knee owner turns and he stares down at the mysterious hand on his leg, tracing it up to a grim-jawed Jinyoung.

He’s vaguely familiar, some faint inkling he can dig from his memory. Black hair, silver piercings, an excessively sharp nose like someone had crafted it with a ruler. Desperate, he smiles pointedly, jaw tight, and urges for a some temporary psychic interlinking for the guy to play along please.

Bewildered, the guy gives a shaky smile. It’s an ugly grimace but Youngjae’s suspicious for about two seconds before he nods, appeased.

“Okay, well! Don’t forget you’re the designated driver hyung. Don’t drink!” he hugs his arm in a loose, cheery hold, slurs a Goodnight and stumbles up.

His retreating figure molds into the crowd and in his place a hollowed, self-loathing prickle sidles up against Jinyoung’s side on the couch. It’s an itch like needles down his throat as he watches the last glimpse of Youngjae’s funny, ambling walk disappear with a glimpse of his tennis shoes - ratty, a once-white streaked with dried mud from the banks of a river - behind orchards of ripped jeans, leather suede and the odd chuck sneakers. Jinyoung hopes he’ll be okay on his own, is relieved he’s no longer beside him.

“Since we became such good friends and all - ,” The couch stranger suddenly talks and Jinyoung curses himself, the couch, the entirety of Seoul, “ - that was kinda a dick move.”

“Well, friend, I don’t need you to tell me that,” he turns to face him, unimpressed, and glances the angry scarring of his jeans, the polished leather of boots, “I already know.”

A hand is stuck out to him. There are rings like stitches, dull and cheap looking in the dimmed halogen and the wheat-gold glow of the apartment, but are anything but in their delicate engravings of brand emblems.

“I’m Jaebum.”

“Jinyoung,” he takes it briefly.

“As your friend, I think you should go after him.”

He doesn’t really like this Jaebum guy, he decides. All teeth and no bone, no marrow to his words.

“And as a stranger, I think it’s best if you mind your own business.”

Jaebum laughs at this, for no reason Jinyoung in his cloudy mood can think of. He’s getting annoyed. Vapour, sticky and cloying like a mattress on a Summer’s night, hangs heavy in his chest and breathing never seemed like such a task. Jaebum’s laugh is loud and spiked with condescension.

Maybe he’s just being pessimistic.

This party and its dulled heat, slow as a stone, grafting against walls and scratching the floor in glacial movements. Rivets dig into the dark, it’s hot in his head but cold in his fingers. Jinyoung wants to go home.

He stands up and Jaebum’s face falters. His smile wrinkles up into a thin line.

“I’m going to find Youngjae,” he says, though there’s no reason the other should know, much less care.

Jaebum sips his drink, now seemingly indifferent. “Okay,” and then, for some reason, “Good luck, Jinyoung ssi.”

Youngjae stirs from where he’s asleep in the passenger seat and Jinyoung quickly turns down the tinny talk show on the radio. Green turns red and Jinyoung sighs from behind the wheel. He doesn’t like driving. His nerves skyrocket and ants begin to crawl over his skin. It’s something about responsibilities, something about blind spots and risks and sudden, sharp twists all in the turn of his hands. It’s even worse when there’s someone else in the car, even worse when it’s his Youngjae.

“Hey, hyung,” It takes a lot to make Youngjae drunk. His words are sloppy, slurred into something almost untranslatable. Jinyoung wonders what drove him to go this far, “Jinyoung hyung.”

He had forgot to flick his turn signal on and his heart speeds and slows at the same time, “Yes, Youngjae yah?” he glances over to his side and finds himself softening at the sleepy smear in his eyes. The reflected orange from outside is foggy on his skin, the tell-tale blush on his neck and cheeks blurring his outlines.

It’s quiet in the car. There’s nothing but the faint rhythmic tick of the signal, metronomic and dulling. It seems to be counting down. Jinyoung almost forgets to listen.

“Why are you avoiding me?”

Head rested against the window, Youngjae follows the speeding red of the opposite lane, listens to the rushing of metal, the roar of tarmac, bulleting into the distance. He’s not sober, Jinyoung tells himself, loose liquor makes loose tongues and looser memories. A box with no screws.

Youngjae persists, “Ever since we came here, you’re no longer you. I have eyes you know.”

Red becomes green, Jinyoung’s grip is tight on the wheel.

“Sometimes, I think you’re pretending like home doesn’t exist.”

The turn signal’s still on, counting. Jinyoung turns it off.

“We’re almost there, Youngjae. Five more minutes.”

Jinyoung and Youngjae are both from the South. The same town in the same street, two years apart and never two feet away from another since six-year old Youngjae had followed from behind his mother’s legs onto the Park’s front porch. When the door swung open, he had saw himself mirrored.

There, as Youngjae likes to reminisce, with his smile the slow, lazy kind, basking in the sunlit shade of Jinyoung’s too-thin curtains as the latter studied, home was always warmer. May green, dusty brown, a wave of mountains rippling blue behind the sparse woods, leading down a beat trail woven in moss and roots and golden leaves.

Seoul is nice though, of course, Seoul is lovely, Youngjae always, always assures.

He speaks in their dialect when they’re alone, and Jinyoung can’t help but be selfish to wish he would do the same with his accent. That rough, wooden edge that’s begun to niggle, to fray the ends of his nerves when he takes Youngjae to places, hears him talk to his friends, sees him so, utterly, uninhibited.

He laughs loud, talks loud, smiles loud. Jinyoung can’t bring himself to be the same.

Seoul, day one, was heavy downpour and acrid grey. Youngjae’s fringe was stuck to his forehead, lips pale and his hands tight around his backpack, complaining loudly against the beat-down about them being completely, irrevocably lost and dying, dying, dying and how if he just knew the end would come so soon, he would’ve kissed Coco a longer goodbye.

Attuned, a whole life’s worth of predictability and only half-listening, Jinyoung huffed a laugh, ruffled his soppy hair and asked him to hold their shared umbrella so he could check their directions one more time.

He knows he’s let things change, by his own hands, by his own head.

“Where are you going, hyung?”

Jinyoung curses himself, his keys clanging against the doorknob and his heel wedged halfway through a sneaker. Youngjae sits up on his bed, bleary-eyed and cotton mouthed, like back when they were kids and Jinyoung would accidentally wake him up trying to sneak back home across the street. Guilt strikes him at the image.

“Just, out,” he says.

“At,” Youngjae’s phone lights up, bathes his face in ghost white, “half past ten?”

“Yeah. It’s a party, one of Jackson’s.” He finds it hard to do anything but stare at the door.

There’s a sudden rush of shuffling and blankets being pushed aside and Jinyoung turns to see Youngjae hurriedly pulling his head through a shirt, ears pink and something frighteningly calm in his eyes.

“Hey, hey, what are you doing?”

“I’m getting ready too.”

“You’re coming?”

Youngjae’s pulling on pants now, a pair of jeans stubborn with grass stains, and the younger huffs as he struggles to quickly button himself in, “Of course,” he says, like it’s the simplest, clearest thing in the world. “We’re always together, right hyung?” he smiles again, slipping on a sun bleached jacket. It’s tattered and there’s a fray in the collar. Jinyoung used to love that jacket.

Irritation, endearment, they seem to go hand in hand these days. Like a stray cat that purred at his ankles, right before sinking its teeth into his skin, “Right, always.”

Youngjae closes their door softly behind them.

Before the city, back at home, their whole world was made of their town, their fields, their brackets of woodland. With no strangers and everyone more or less acquainted, it would never had occurred to Jinyoung that Youngjae would be shy. Big mouthed, loud voiced, he had his first real surprise in years when Youngjae spent two whole weeks out plastered behind his back as they pushed through the suffocating solidness of urban life.

Youngjae was open to everyone at home, the easiest boy to talk to, most amiable of their small group of age-ranged boys. Here, he was a tight clam, sewn shut and sturdy.

And then, with his second surprise, Youngjae opened up.

“When we were kids, me and hyung once got lost - ,” he takes a breath to swallow his drink properly, choking on his own breathy laughter, “and I couldn’t stop crying for hours. We were walking in the same circle all night.”

Everyone laughs, chatters, and Youngjae couldn’t be more at ease. It’s all affable and all okay and Jinyoung holds his lips tight in his smile, drowns the sinking, blistering feeling of his stomach with a liquid he can’t even taste.

He doesn’t hate home. He doesn’t hate Youngjae. But it’s not fondness that he feels. And maybe, with every pair of eyes in the room, on him and not on him, looking away but staring with a judgement that is but his own doing, it’s the creep of envy he feels. His feet stuck in sand, sinking with every step he takes away from the crowd.

It’s a little shameful how easy Jinyoung finds himself disappearing.

Jackson’s place, financed generously by his parents, a retired pair of heyday athletes past their glory but still prominent enough to get their son an actual real apartment, is a great place to hide in. It’s the kind with a balcony that afforded more space than a potted plant and windows that pressed against an actual view, pre-furnished and clean.

It suits him, Jinyoung thinks, the owner wouldn’t last in the cylinder box he and Youngjae became contortionists for. He would decay at an alarming rate.

Even with all the space, Jackson truly does hate being alone, though.

“Why so glum, chum?” A voice bursts beside him.

Jackson’s not even drunk. He just talks like that. He stretches his arms across the railing, hands spread out as if to grasp the moon, and sighs in content. At peace with noise and people, among gossip and inclusion and fun fun fun.

Jinyoung crosses his elbows on the cold metal and tucks his hands away from the wind, “What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be a good host and give out the fun and free booze?”

“I’m only the instigator, please. I’m flattered,” Jackson grins, and then, turning a notch down, “shouldn’t you be a good friend and stop ditching Youngjae?”

“I’m not ditching him.”

“Unless he’s become a pot plant, I think you’re kinda being a big fat liar.”

“What do you want, Jackson?”

The wind’s cold but soft, a cool sheet slipping across his skin in a thin, white breeze and Jackson, in a rare moment of careful, careful consideration, pauses. He licks his lips, presses himself further into the metal.

“There’s got to be reason why you’re being like this,” he turns to look at him, “so why?”

Jinyoung looks away, glances down, “It’s stupid. Selfish.”

“So?”

A sigh, and then, “Youngjae. Youngjae is important to me. He’ll always be. And I guess, I need to realise that that won’t change, even if everything else does,” His hands curl into fists, “I’ve been trying to distance myself for. For the most stupid things. God. Annoyed at the dumbest, most pointless crap. How he talks, how he acts, what he says, dresses, laughs, I don’t know.”

Jackson’s looking at him, open faced and easy to read. It's calming.

“Why?”

“I thought, I guess, I’d be coming to Seoul alone.”

“Did you want to be alone?”

“Yes. No,” he bites his cheek, “I don’t know anymore. Maybe I just wanted to be someone else.”

“And Youngjae’s stopping you from that?”

From this height, the cars are easy to trace down on the road beneath them. Jinyoung wonders where they’re all going, wishes he was going with them.

He thinks back and sees Youngjae’s face a week into school and the quiet shock on it when he realised that Jinyoung’s own accent has dropped away. Feels the worry that had prickled his cheeks until the quiet revelation slipped itself into a mask of rushed acceptance, the relief he felt when Youngjae just laughed along, the disagreement when he never followed him.

When alone he didn’t pry, didn’t question, didn’t ask as the soft, worn fabrics of his closet became hidden behind stiffer, pricier things. How Jinyoung seemed to come back to the dorm later than usual with the cling of their town’s earthy soil smothered away beneath oil and smoke. How he seemed to begin to disappear right in front of him.

“Anything but,” he admits, wrist crossed over wrist, “It’s just me.”

Jackson is many things, eloquent he is not, but a friend he is, “Then get your shit together and own up to it. This isn’t your subpar romantic comedy filled with happy accidents and sunlight coming out of your ass. You have to do something. For the kid.”

Jinyoung snorts and looks to him, “Romantic comedy?”

“You know what I mean. Look at the guy.”

“Is that just a saying or are you trying to tell me something?”

“Just get to it, Park.”

Youngjae’s fidgeting. Jinyoung can tell. He’s trying to be discreet but the nervous energy jumps off of him in bullets and their entire room is suffocating in entry wounds, drowned in Youngjae’s efforts to look like he wasn’t chewing off his own arm.

Jinyoung slaps his book closed. The ricochets bursting into his skin with every wary glance are beginning to sting, “Youngjae, what are you doing?”

The younger flinches. Eyes big and intense from across the room, his expression rolls downwards into a nervous frown.

“Hyung, you’re mad at me aren’t you?” It comes out as a whisper, his lips barely parting.

Jinyoung blinks. A beat passes. Youngjae blinks too.

Suddenly, Youngjae scrambles off his bed, the red of his embarrassment blooming down to his neck and he frantically waves a hand as he rushes to the door, “You know what, it’s okay! Pretend I didn’t ask that, haha!”

“Youngjae, wait!”

This is his chance. His heart, a great, big thumping mess, tastes like hope in his throat.

He pushes himself to the edge of his mattress, ready to run after him. But the younger pauses, a hand hovered above the handle and his mouth wrung like a rope, and he waits.

It’ll be okay, Jinyoung knows. He hopes.

“I’m sorry, Youngjae yah. You’ve noticed, haven’t you?”

There’s a flinch and a small nod, “It’s me, hyung. Of course I would.”

Of course he would. Of course. He feels like an idiot.

“I’m sorry,” he digs his fingers into his sheets, “I’m so sorry, Youngjae. I’m going to stop. I’ll stop being selfish and stupid, I shouldn’t have - I shouldn’t act like how I am.

I don’t know why. I mean, I sort of do, but I’ve been an ass. A really big one. I was mad and jealous and petty, of things that aren’t even your fault and I’m just, I’m sorry.”

“Hyung.”

“Yeah?”

“You have to make it up to me, you know!”

Jinyoung looks up, “Wha - ”

“I’m going to forgive you, but you have to make it up to me!” There it is again. A frightening calm in Youngjae’s eyes, quiet and persevering and strong enough to hold. But behind that, if he is hopeful enough to think, a light. Faint, happy, familiar.

“Youngjae - “

“It’s a promise, right?” His grip on the door is tight, as if anchoring himself to not run.

Jinyoung exhales, smiles softly, “Yeah, it’s a promise.”

The line of Youngjae’s shoulders drop and he deflates, relaxed and relieved and as if he dropped a boulder from his back. Fond though, his eyes are so fond.

Jinyoung opens his arms wordlessly. It’s exactly like he used to do when they were kids and his favourite danger-prone boy was at his side bruised and sniffling, and though no longer a crybaby, but still his favourite, Youngjae crosses the room to sink into them.

“I’m sorry,” he says again, muffled into his shoulder. The boy in his hold shakes his head. He’s warmer than he last remembered.

“It’s okay. Just treat me to whatever I want whenever I want and it’s okay.”

“Brat.” he huffs, endeared, and he smiles against his neck.

#got7 #2young #character:youngjae #character:jinyoung #author:jo #genre:angst #genre:au

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