#no fusion is not a metaphor for sex it's a complex metaphor for ALL different kinds of relationships but. the way steg was acting toward

[lightningfilledsaber]

yeah fuck it i'll watch steven universe again

[arco-pluris]

About gender panitude:

I see many pangender folx stole culturally specific genders whose cultures they did not belong to. At least more specifically before 2012 or some point where many terms got resignified or redefined, fairly.

I saw a definition from Radical Fairies and it said "all sexes".

But I use it to mean an infinite gender. Which is also innumerable, unquantifiable, unachievable (without transhumanism/immanence), includes other non finite aspects (such as transfinite/phantom quantities/complex numbers)…

That's a mathematical way to express it, immaterially or metaphorically.

People usually slap omnigender, omnine, or polygender and say pangender identity should be abolished/cancelled. Or offer alternatives: maxigender, ultigender… I'd like infinigender be more popular.

Once @gender-jargon explained well the concept of infinity with a video, but it got down 😞

I also coined apangender/pxngender (originally panagender but panagender had a different definition before) bc I'm demiagender.

They're all disproportionate. Like yeah the pangender symbol, from @espectrometria-nao-binaria that looks like this: 🜧 (a fusion of ⟨🜦⟩ copper antimoniate salt and ⟨🜹⟩ or ⟨⚹⟩ sal-ammoniac) but replacing the cross (alluding gender femaleness) with androgyne symbol (⚦), includes an agender symbol inside.

There are obliquities/parallelisms that I generalize making it insoluble, like different planes or places different things or PoVs. Like yeah I'm what you see, but I have obscure parts you don't know that others know. But the others also don't know some other parts either, neither I as some things are in the future, it's rhizomatic (from the philosophal concept). And it's always changing how I perceive and some things go to the other side of the spectrum. In fact I don't mind being summed up as neufemasc. Bc neotrinarists give me these options and in their minds they are the only existing possibilities for a trigender.

[nimpseudo]

Thoughts on Aroace Peridot and Nuance in Representation

(This post is both a late contribution to Arospec Awareness Week and a very late reflection on this Variety interview with Rebecca Sugar, published back in November 2023 for the 10-year anniversary of SU's premiere. It is also inspired by the excellent SU analysis of @love-takes-work.)

“That is something that we also wanted to show on [Steven Universe]. Not everyone has to be waiting for a relationship, whether it’s a relationship to lose themselves in, or to make themselves realize something about themselves that they need. You can also realize that that’s not something that you need.”

- Rebecca Sugar on Peridot's intentional aroace coding

Let's talk about Gem fusion, aspec identity and allegory, and everyone's favorite aro-colored Angry Little Slice of Pie, Peridot.

The concept of fusion in Steven Universe is robust enough to support many different meanings and metaphors as the story unfolds. As introduced in the early Season One episode "Giant Woman," fusion is the physical manifestation of a relationship among two or more Gems, in the form of a new, larger Gem with a composite personality and greater abilities. Even when performed for a utilitarian purpose, it holds emotional and social significance for the characters involved—and how could it not, when it gives form, face, and shared consciousness to their interpersonal connection? I would describe fusion as an inhuman intimacy ritual that not only engages the body and mind (like many forms of physical affection among humans) but also redraws the borders of the self (like the construction of an intimate partnership). Clearly, there is potential here for both aromantic and asexual coding. There are also significant hurdles to getting the latter on screen.

The limitations that come with writing for a younger demographic can inspire creative and thoughtful queer narratives that help children build compassionate, progressive worldviews. This has only become truer in the years since SU dared to push the envelope and pave the way. This show excelled at presenting subjects like same-gender affection, trans self-discovery, nonbinary identity, and disinterest in typically romantic activities and gestures, both through quiet normalization—with or without the use of specific labels—and through allegories for more complex struggles and joys. 

Even now, though, representing asexuality in a children's cartoon, which by its nature does not deal directly with sexual themes, is tricky. The fluid polysemy of fusion underlies much of SU's queer theming and character writing; but how do you represent asexuality through a character's attitude toward fusion without implicitly conflating this magical ability with sex? I honestly would not have blamed the creators for steering clear of the subject entirely, given that they were already working under threat of cancellation and fighting for every scrap of queerness that made it into the show. But Maya Petersen and other members of the Crewniverse managed to thread the needle.

You can argue, as I'm sure people have, that if all Gems are biologically asexual, and only one anomalous Gem (Rose Quartz) has even experienced sex, then disinterest in fusion can only ever represent aromanticism as an identity and can never be extrapolated to sexual orientation. But that strikes me as a superficial argument, closing off avenues for character analysis and undercutting the very deliberate queer dimension to the writing.

Before reading the above-linked Variety interview with Rebecca Sugar, my response might have been this: None of the fusion relationships we see onscreen in SU are sexual in nature, but this doesn't mean that fusion can't hold that meaning for any Gem or human*, or that a lack of interest in fusion can't serve as an analogy to asexual identity within the narrative. And that's all still true. However, this counterargument is missing something, and that's a child-centered perspective. 

Some young children may be aware of asexuality, especially if they know adults who identify as such and have explained it to them in an approachable way. But what does it mean, practically, for a child to know that "asexual" is one way for a person to be, and a word and community that they may or may not find fitting or welcoming to their older selves? Well, they should understand that while many people's ideal future involves an intimate partner or spouse, often comprising a nuclear family unit, there are infinite other paths to happiness and fulfillment. And they should be firmly instilled with the idea that their body is their own, and no one can force them to do things with it that discomfort or simply disinterest them.

Peridot—who is not a child, but is an outsider and an initial skeptic of the Crystal Gems' ways—models all of this beautifully in her welcome-to-Earth arc, reflecting asexual and aromantic experiences simultaneously**. She demonstrates intellectual curiosity around fusion and arrives at a deeper understanding of it through the lens of a fictional pairing she's invested in, but she ultimately decides that the real thing isn't for her, and she is comfortable and steadfast in that decision. Her guide in this exploration is Garnet, who values fusion to the highest degree but doesn't take Peridot's aversion personally—in fact, she immediately says she's proud of Peridot for trying something new but backing out when it stops feeling right; and for endeavoring to understand Garnet better while honoring her own inner truth. Absolutely incredible.

Could this representation have been more overt? In theory, yes. Given the time period and context and executive constraints, likely not. Is it a problem that Peridot is a nonhuman, an alien? Maybe for some people, though I feel that if a character is written with depth and personality, they've already dodged the actual harmful conceptions of ace and aro people as robotic, soulless, or inhuman—even if they happen to be a robot or extraterrestrial. Steven Universe features a diverse cast of nonhumans, all of whom feel deeply and approach fusion from different perspectives; Peridot simply holds one attitude among many. Is it harmful for the ace- and aro-coded character to also be the most noticeably autistic-coded character? I can't personally answer that, except to point out that the SU fandom, like the general population, includes many people who exist in the overlap of those identities and deserve prominence in this discussion. If this post reaches any autistic aspec fans, please share your thoughts. As for the notion that Peridot is infantilized... it's probably for the best that the planned scene with her sitting in a high chair got cut, but regardless, she is an adult. She is competent in some areas and naïve in others; she starts off about as emotionally immature as Amethyst and grows just as far, without ever losing her sense of fun or bombast. Sounds pretty aspirational to me.

(It would be false to say that Amethyst and Peridot are my favorite characters because their coloring matches the ace and aro flags, but it's a delightful coincidence.)

Aroace representation is sparse enough in adult media, where there are theoretically no barriers to mapping out the identity in full. In a child-friendly show, it's pretty astonishing to not see the "ace" factor sublimated into the aro coding to produce a character who's merely uninterested in dating or marriage. I'm not sure there's a way around that in cartoons about normal humans doing normal human things, though I'd love to see another queer-positive kids' show tackle the challenge***. But within the character-driven sci-fantasy of SU, the concept of fusion is fertile ground for laying out these nuances of bodily autonomy and selfhood-within-community, in a way that serves the fictional characters as much as it encourages emotional development in the children watching.

One more reason—as if we needed another—to love this cartoon about learning how many ways there are to love.

~ ~ ~

[On a mostly unrelated note, Steven and Connie are a shining example of a lifelong loving relationship that flows beyond the narrow banks of the friendship-to-romance streamline that audiences tend to expect from young boy-girl friend pairs. It is so, so important to me that we never see their first "real" kiss onscreen, because that milestone changes nothing about the love and devotion they feel for each other. I was very confused, and honestly peeved, when I saw bloggers excitedly declaring Connverse to be "canon" after their casual little kiss in the final scene of Future, because... Steven and Connie have always been together in every way that matters. When was this ever in question? Even within the morass of mortification that is "Together Forever", the show never once entertained the notion that their relationship might not survive. They will continue to be jam buds and best friends and fusion partners and absolute cuties even as an old married couple; we've known this since early days. So who cares about the specific gestures they choose to communicate their affection? (Less diplomatically, I'm very tired of the rigid equation of mouth kiss = romantic = official = canon, and all its equally flawed rephrasings and corollaries, that lead people to denounce some of the queerest stories around as "bait" because there wasn't enough implied saliva.) As individual characters, Connie and Steven may or may not be ace and/or aro, but there's a lovely, refreshing queerplatonic reading to be found in their friendship regardless—and I am so grateful to the crew for simply writing them as kids who think the world of one another.]

Footnotes:

* For example, I do think Rose Quartz was as ace as the rest of them, irrespective of her sexual experimentation with Greg and her other human lovers. But those encounters are hardly framed as thoughtless or meaningless. I imagine Rose as being fascinated by the differences in human and Gem intimacy, and reaching conclusions that subsequently informed and colored her subjective experience of both acts. This is not territory that the show would or should have ventured into, nor is it something I'm personally interested in reading or writing, but it's a valid axis for mature fan discussion nonetheless.

** Not to mention a bit of anti-imperialist deprogramming, as her understanding of fusion expands from "tactical display of force in battle" to "expression of trust and camaraderie, for communal benefit or simply personal enjoyment," and beyond.

*** Lilith from The Owl House is great, and online bonus materials are definitely a step up from Word-of-God pronouncements with no follow-through. But they're still not part of the show canon, and that's a shame.

[thewebcomicsreview]

Seeing as I don’t have a job right now (one week furlough), I managed to get a lot of writing for Saffron and Sage done today. Now I feel good! Time to ruin that with a Homestuck 2 Liveblog! Last time: Jade kidnapped “Yiffy”, much to Jane’s distress! No time for that, though, as we’re back with the Candyland Kids. 

HARRY: vrissy, i know this is a stressful predicament but i think that's going too far. HARRY: my dad believes in us. HARRY: and if he thinks there's something we can do, then there has to be a way!

Kind of interesting that Harry holds his dad’s opinion in such high esteem, considering that his dad has been AWOL pretty much his whole life.

TAVROS: Uncle john isn't to blame for this,,, HARRY: yeah, no shit tav. HARRY: this whole situation is because of YOUR insane hitlermom.

How the hell does Harry Anderson know who Hitler is? When did that conversation come up? This is a completely different universe! 

TAVROS: Is less sincere,,, than it is,,, an attempt to weaponize something difficult for me, TAVROS: In order that you can win an argument,,, with harry anderson,,,,, VRISKA: GRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! VRISKA: WILL YOU ALL JUST VRISKA: SHUT!!!!!!!! VRISKA: UP!!!!!!!!

A good example of why characters like John, Jade, Vriska, and sometimes Karkat are important in Homestuck or in stories generally. They actually do shit. 

VRISKA: Neither you nor your friends have anything really important going on. VRISKA: Your lives and your planet are a total 8ore! VRISKA: 8ut somehow John loves you anyway. VRISKA: Try and be fucking gr8ful for that every once in a while. VRISKA: Not everyone is so lucky.

Vriska please do not be pining for middle-aged John Egbert. You have literally half a dozen semi-official love interests (John, Terezi, Eridan, Tavros, Meenah and Kanaya), please don’t pick the one old enough to be your dad. It was already weird enough when Adult John got hot and bothered by teen Roxy in the epilogues, to say nothing of you fucking a middle-aged homeless clown in a bush.  

thespiansGlamor [TG] began pestering adamantGriftress [AG]

Oh, fuck you, Homestuck. It’s bad enough that Harry and Dave are both going to be referred to as “TG” in chatlogs, but now Vrissy and Vriska are both AG and have the same font color! 

TG: i've allocated the strife specibus with the scissorkind abstratus? TG: hm. TG: using this weird vocab and stuff feels... well, weird. TG: i'm not sure why, but it seems as though everything that's about to happen is that much more important now. TG: or maybe it already was, but i just didn't understand just how important until this moment.

One issue with wearing your metaphor on your sleeve as much as Homestuck 2 does is that thematically important lines become really obvious. 

I like how the triangle-shaped panel around Vriska escaping the crowd by simply walking into it is reminiscent of a magic 8-ball. That’s clever! 

VRISKA: Your society... no, your whole planet... it deserves to 8urn str8 to MEGAhell, and I'm gonna 8e the one to fly it there! VRISKA: I'm gonna shatter your paradise into pieces with my 8are hands and SHIT IN ITS GRAVE!!!!!!!! VRISKA: HOW'S THAT FOR A FUCKING ST8MENT! VRISKA: YOU GOT ALL THAT, JANE CROCKER? VRISKA: DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT'S COMING FOR YOU???????? VRISKA: YOU'VE MESSED WITH VRISKA: ********VRISKA******** VRISKA: ****FUUUUUUUUCKING**** VRISKA: ********SERK8T********

There’s some extreme Dungeons and Dragons energy here, where Vriska’s plan to escape a mob of reporters working for a totalitarian dictatorship run by literal gods is to simply walk outside and publicly declare her intent to destroy the world as punishment for its sins. 

And yeah, this is how that plan usually works in DnD, too.

Man, the next page is a wall of text, whereas in old Homestuck this’d be an animation. I get “fair wages” and “small budget”, but is still feels weird to see a big Strife scene merely get described with boring-ass words.

Fearing gunfire, the few paparazzi who aren't currently getting their asses handed to them by the world's angriest traffic cone start to trip over each other, diving for cover.

The world’s angriest traffic cone.

Far away, in her lair, Jane Crocker grabs the two sides of her computer monitor with enough strength to snap it in two. She can't believe what she's watching. Behind her, from a shadowy corner of the room, there is an agitated growling noise and the rattle of chains.

Is that Yiffy? Is Yiffy an animal? Please tell me Yiffy is not a person that Jade named Yiffy. 

....Actually, please tell me that Yiffy isn’t an animal Jade named Yiffy that is Jade’s child via sex with another animal that might be my breaking point.

Vriska alights on the ground, rakes her throat, quietly spits out a little wad of blue, and wipes her mouth unceremoniously. Tavros pats Harry Anderson tentatively on the arm. Vrissy tries to be badass and cough up something too but she doesn't really make it work.  

Vrissy::Vriska Vriska::Mindfang

It’s weird that John’s sprite is the same even though he’s middle aged now, but I like that his God Tier outfit doesn’t fit any more. Isn’t it magical? Ahh, who cares.

JOHN: this old thing is pretty uncomfortable in a lot of ways. JOHN: hm... JOHN: when we get a moment, maybe the two of us could brainstorm a redesign? JOHN: no pressure though. HARRY: !!!

Oh, that’s why! That’s cute. 

JADE: theres something i need to tell you

don’thavefuckedadogdon’thavefuckedadogdon’thavefuckedadog

JADE: john... i have a daughter JADE: shes almost harry andersons age JOHN: ... JOHN: ... JOHN: you have a daughter.

Named Yiffy?

ROSE: It was at this point that Jade came to me. ROSE: I could understand her pain quite acutely, and so... ROSE: I agreed to carry a child on her behalf. KANAYA: . ROSE: ... Without telling Kanaya.

Without-

Kanaya is your WIFE. You LIVE WITH HER. Even ignoring the question of why you’d keep 9 months of pregnancy from your wife, how? Kanaya would have been living with humans for years at that point and she’s literally in charge of reproduction don’t tell me she thought Rose just got fat for a while and then lost the weight really fast. 

ROSE: I'm... not sure why I made that decision. ROSE: I regret not telling Kanaya, of course. ROSE: But I can't say that I regret going through with it. ROSE: At the time, it didn't feel as though the deception was even all that prolonged. The whole affair was... short. ROSE: Purely physical, and nothing more.

ROSE: John, there isn't a father. ROSE: Jade and I are the sole parents of this child. JOHN: oh. JOHN: ... JOHN: OH. JOHN: oh i'm so sorry, i didn't th- ROSE: That's quite alright John, although you might like to direct that apology more towards your sister. ROSE: All I will say is that if you would like to take up the particulars with us, ROSE: Some *other* time, 

Actually, if John doesn’t know that Jade has a male dog’s genitals due to a fusion accident, I’d love to know what that all-caps OH means. What does he think happened, that Jade and Rose managed to have a baby? 

JOHN: so... how did you hide the pregnancy? ROSE: Oh, that was simple. ROSE: Jade's genes being, as they are, part canine, the gestation period was substantially reduced.

OH NO 

Yiffy is literally a furry, isn’t she? Moreso that Jade, she’s a full-on “Can be naked onscreen and it’s okay because she’s covered in fur” dog girl.

JOHN: i think i understand everything so f VRISSY: WAIT!!!!!!!! VRISSY: YOU MEAN TO TELL ME VRISSY: NOT ONLY DO I H8VE A SISTER VRISSY: 8UT YOU NAMED VRISSY: YOUR ****SECRET CHILD**** VRISSY: ********YIFFY********????????

Vrissy makes an excellent point. 

ROSE: We didn't call her Yiffy. ROSE: That would be a quite ridiculous thing with which to burden a child. ROSE: Her full name is Yiffany Longstocking Lalonde Harley.

Vrissy looks as though she is about to shit the belltower they are standing in, brick by brick.

ROSE: It was, in hindsight, a monumentally terrible decision acting as the final chapter in a long series of novels, each one full of progressively more terrible decisions than the last. ROSE: But that is the name that we decided upon.

Oh, wait a second. Vriska changed Vriska Maryam-Lalonde to Vrissy, and changed Harry Anderson to just Harry. So obviously she’s going to rename Yiffy to literally anything else, then rename Tavros, and then we’ve got a new set of four kids as Vriska leaves to do something else. That’s what going to happen, right? Right? Please? 

ROSE: You have to understand... this whole situation ended up playing out a bit like an ironic game of chicken between the two of us. ROSE: Something that far outstripped anything that the Strider fraternity could have produced in their wildest, most jpegged creative wet dreams. ROSE: But in the end that triumph of irony came back to bite us in the fucking ass, as irony is wont to do. ROSE: There was absolutely no possibility of us casually letting you all know that, by the way, we had had a secret daughter named Yiffany Longstocking. ROSE: At least, not right away. ROSE: But carapacian change-of-name paperwork is so complex and circuitous that, eventually, keeping quiet forever just seemed like the more reasonable option.

This is, even for Homestuck, monumentally stupid. You named your daughter Yiffany Longstocking as a joke and then kept the child secret because you were embarrassed. You two are awful fucking parents. You are the worst parents in the entire series, and that includes Bro Strider and the spider that made Vriska feed it children. 

And we’re literally at the point where the writing is bad and the joke is how bad the writing is. This isn’t enjoyable to read; you can’t make a bad B-movie My Immortal fanfic on purpose.  

Even now, Yiffy is likely being held at spoonpoint

I feel like “Jade and Rose have a secret daughter named Yiffany Longstocking” can be a joke or it can be drama but maybe not both at the same time. 

[artemispanthar]

But consider: veiwing fusion as a metaphor for sex and veiwing fusion as a much more complex take on how we interact and change with other people are not mutually exclusive takes and they can be perceived together because sex can be an incredibly powerful act of bringing two people or more people together in a way that similar to how fusion brings peoppe together

I disagree that they’re not mutually exclusive but tbh I think that’s because I’m defining Fusion in a different way than you are? Rather than that we actually disagree, because I do agree that sex is a form of connection for a lot of people and like all other forms of connection has its own unique beauty and sense of meaning to those involved. I do not mean to imply that sex does not have a place or value in some peoples’ relationships

When I say Fusion, I’m referring to it in the broad sense, the actual totality of the concept overall, rather than what a Fusion is specific to person to person. Like, a relationship can be sexual, but relationships as a concept are not sexual. So if you were asked to define what a relationship is, you probably would not use sex to describe it because the term “relationship” applies both to your romantic partner as well as your parent, sibling, child, friend, etcetc. But, if you were asked to define what your relationship with your romantic partner is, you probably would include sex in your description, which is a specific definition which applies only to this instance of relationship. Broad vs specific definitions.

So I wouldn’t consider Fusion-as-sex as an apt metaphor simply because it only describes some Fusions, not Fusion overall, whereas Fusion-as-personified-relationships does apply to all Fusions regardless of what kind of relationship it is, including sexual ones.

I hope that makes sense

[frankendeers]

“I am Made of Love and It’s Stronger than You”: Steven Universe and Alternative Models of Queer Resistance in Science-Fiction.

I needed to motivate myself because I have been working on this for ages - so here, have the prospectus to my M.A thesis. Maybe you’re interested in talking about it, or reading more as the thesis is being developed?

How do we resist oppression? Even before the emergence of queer theory as an academic discipline, authors and activists alike have wondered how the persistent structures of hegemonic discourse can be opposed. Aside from important endeavours to organise and dismantle political ideology and its effect on the material world, fiction is slowly recognised as a possible tool for queer resistance. By representing marginalised groups and opening discussions about different kinds of subjectivity, fiction provides new frameworks for dreaming queer revolution. Stressing the importance of conjuring imaginative scenarios to explore societal issues, it is no surprise that the genre of Science-Fiction has risen to the challenge. Its visions of both utopian and dystopian futures speculate upon how issues of marginalisation might be dealt with going forward and is therefore meaningfully engaging with the Other.

A particularly interesting outlet for social commentary is constituted in the figure of the alien. By taking the concept of the outsider to its most literal meaning, Science Fiction is able to extricate itself from reality and use imaginary cultures to draw parallels to our own world. In some texts, the alien is meant to incite the Freudian concept of the uncanny. The relative proximity to humanity is here meant to signify cultural lines and warn the audience against transgression. In other works, the distance between human and alien is reduced further, until a certain level of identification with the strange Other is reached. This strategy is most often employed to show the alien as a bringer of progress and incite positive change in how the audience sees what it cannot understand. Due to the multiplicity of the alien’s symbolic meaning, utilising the concept to interrogate the nature of gender identity and sexual desire has been proven quite fruitful. From feminist utopias where all men go extinct to allegories of same-sex relationships, extra-terrestrial characters are useful metaphors to discern how we view queerness. More than this, the ways in which queerness is constituted in alien cultures, technologies and biologies can be utilised to point towards strategies to free marginalised groups from oppression. One recent work of Science Fiction stands out in its attempt to interrogate the nature of queerness and rebellion by employing the alien as a symbol for human society: The Cartoon Network’s children’s program Steven Universe. My paper will examine how Steven Universe reflects on queerness through alien characters and, furthermore, offers a unique model of radical empathy as a viable way to resist oppressive structures.

Steven Universe has proven to be undeniably relevant to queer discourse. The show received the Media Award for Outstanding Kids and Family Programming by the GLAAD Organisation (Gay and Lesbian Association against Defamation) in 2019 and wrote history by depicting the first on-screen queer kiss in a children’s animated program. Steven Universe focusses on its titular character, Steven, a young alien/human hybrid who learns to control his supernatural powers under the guidance of his four alien surrogate mothers: Garnet, Amethyst and Pearl. The heart of the show is constituted in Steven’s engagement with the society, biology and history of his alien heritage, an extra-terrestrial species called the Gems. Throughout the show, the plot reveals a legacy of oppression and war, with the gem’s homeworld representing imperial and fascist ideology against which his late mother has rebelled. As the story continues, Steven must realise that the ancient war his mother battled against her home planet merely resulted in a stand-still and that it is his duty to find ways for resistance.

In order to see how Steven Universe uses the alien in relation to queer identity, my paper will first reflect on how queerness is represented within the show. Although the nature of queerness is notoriously hard to articulate, it will be necessary to outline the terminology and specify how the concept is used for my specific purpose. Queerness defines itself exactly through its breaking of boundaries and blurring of conventional lines, it pertains -most commonly- to matters of sexuality, identity, gender and desire: “Broadly speaking, queer describes those gestures or analytical models which dramatize incoherencies in the allegedly stable relations between chromosomal sex, gender and sexual desire. Resisting that model or stability –which claims heterosexuality as its origin, when it is more properly its effect –queer focuses on mismatches between sex, gender and desire.” (Jagose 3). In other words, I will use queerness as a direct opposition to the hegemonic discourse, which demands stable and unchanging categories of gender, sexuality and their expressions. These demands are rooted in normative assumptions about the naturalness of heterosexuality[M3]  and rigid ideas about gender roles. Defining these boundaries, will furthermore be achieved by looking at Simone de Beavoirs The Second Sex and Judith Butler’s analysis on the performative nature of gender.

Using these definitions reveals the usefulness of Steven Universe in queer context. One outstanding detail is the fact that all gems, Steven himself excluded, are female presenting to human audiences, yet their internal gender identity remains ambiguous. Gems reproduce asexually, having no need for biological sex (or even gender) and are often even unable to grasp the concept itself. Their presentation as female is shown to be an unquestioned default, putting the dominant assumption of neutral masculinity into question. Characters like Amethyst, are shown to explore their gender on a deeper level, occasionally taking on masculine alter egos and preferring male pronouns while presenting this way. Steven himself is positioned in opposition to general notions of hegemonic masculinity. His weapons are defensive, his powers involve healing, and his design is dominated by soft shapes and the colour pink. More than that, Steven is empathetic, gentle, and shown to enjoy stereotypically feminine activities such as wearing dresses and planning weddings. His close connection to the figure of the mother queers him in more ways than one. Besides this being an unusual feature of a male-centred storyline, the asexual nature of the Gems negates his gender identity. Strangers to reproduction, the enemies mistake Steven for his mother, misgendering him and drawing direct parallels to lived experiences of transgender people. His fight against their oppressive regime is ultimately similar to the struggles of transgender people, who are fighting for recognition of their identities.

This explicit disconnection between sex and gender also means that various romances formed between main characters are visually presented as lesbian relationships, while simultaneously putting the essentialist nature of gender into question. Complex romances are put to the forefront, meant to interrogate issues of prejudice, authenticity and power relations. The character Pearl, formerly a servant of Steven’s mother, rebels against her home planet out of romantic affection for her master. The narrative presents the death of Steven’s mother as a traumatic event and invites questions of how her queer identity interacted with her liberation. On the one hand, “lesbian” affection was the cause for Pearl joining the rebellion, yet she is unable to shed her subservience to Steven’s mother. The narrative criticises her loss of self-worth, rooted in ideological indoctrination as much as romantic dependence.

Connecting multiple issues of gender and sexuality, the alien biology of the gems is infused with inherent queerness. Steven Universe’s alien race has a mechanism to question fixed identity itself: Fusion. Here, two gems perform a dancing routine to synchronise with each other until they fuse to form a new entity altogether. Most often employed as a strategy to gain strength in battle, fusion is also shown to be a deeply intimate and emotional matter. The resulting character is physically and mentally an amalgam of the two (or more Gems) who created them. In this way, fusion functions as an exploration of identity and relationships, deeply queer in matters of gender and sexual desire. One fusion particularly stands out when analysing gender fluidity: The fusion of Stevonnie comes into existence when Steven, and his best friend Connie fuse. Stevonnie is explicitly stated and shown to be nonbinary and intersex.  They are capable, relatable and even shown to be desirable in the eyes of other characters. The fact that Steven and Connie break with gender conventions by switching masculine and feminine roles, makes analysing Stevonnie all the more fruitful. Stevonnie is also far from the only nonbinary fusion of the show. Throughout the seasons, Steven fuses with multiple gems, resulting in an array of nonbinary characters of vastly different gender representations and pronouns.

The show’s revolutionary approach is reinforced by the fact that the gem’s planet, simply called Homeworld, practically operates under a fascist dictatorship. Its society is made up of different types of gems, created for distinct purposes they are meant to fulfil without question. Remarkably, Homeworld explicitly forbids fusion between two different types of gems. Overstepping this line is not only cause for scandal but punishable by death. The show presents this as a thinly veiled allegory for the oppressed nature of LGBT relationships in the real world. In relation to that, the show examines themes of queer oppression and queer resistance in the character of Garnet. Garnet is a permanently fused gem, made up of Ruby and Sapphire who chose to rebel against Homeworld. Their romantic relationship is not weakened by its metaphorical nature, as Ruby and Sapphire’s visual resemblance to women is a constant reminder of its queerness.

As the show progresses, Steven is forced to confront Homeworld and decide upon strategies for liberation. Here, the show is ambivalent towards the usage of physical force. On the one hand, the war for independence fought by the rebellion five thousand years ago, is shown to have been effective in fighting against Homeworld’s armies. However, it also wiped out nearly all the rebellious gems and has ultimately only achieved a temporary peace. Contrarily, Steven’s innate empathy and deep desire to engage with whom he opposes is presented as inciting long-lasting change. Not only pertaining to his personality, but also encoded in his alien biology, Steven has the power to feel the emotions of his enemies. As he recognises physical force as inevitable in some instances, the real shift always occurs due to him trying to understand his opponents on an emotional level. The show hereby raises the complicated question of how to consolidate liberation and a need to cease the perpetuation of violence, offering radical empathy as a possible solution. Radical empathy, as the idea to resist oppression through understanding, is negating the more masculine realm of physical fight. Using a male character to introduce this idea, is already marked as queer. Nevertheless, radical empathy is also a contested subject and it will be necessary to evaluate how Steven Universe answers to the possibility of its ineffectiveness in queer liberation discourse. For this purpose, I will employ, among others, Jack Halberstam’s theories on Queer Violence in media and Lee Edelman’s No Future: Queer Theory and the Death Drive. Both will be used to examine whether the progressive politics of Steven Universe can truly be used as an advocate for queer resistance, or if they promote liberalism and complacency.

In conclusion, my paper will examine how the concept of the alien is shown to be queer in Steven Universe, and how alien society is utilised as a metaphor for real-world queer discourse. It will further attempt to outline the different models of resistance brought forth by the show and address criticism towards its compliance with systemic injustice and accusations of demonising more violent forms of revolution.

  Bibliography: (Preliminary)

Primary Texts:

Steven Universe. Cartoon Network. 2013-2019.

Secondary Texts:

Beauvoir, Simone de. The Second Sex. New York: Vintage Books 1989, c1952. Print.

Butler, Judith. Undoing Gender. New York: Routledge, 2004.

Dunn, Eli. “Steven Universe, Fusion Magic, and the Queer Cartoon Carnivalesque.” Gender Forum: An Internet Journal of Gender Studies, vol. 56, 2016, pp. 44–57.

Edelman, Lee. No Future: Queer Theory and the Death Drive. , 2004. Print.

Jagose, Annamarie. Queer Theory: An Introduction. New York: New York University Press, 1996. Print.

Halberstam, Judith. “Imagined Violence/Queer Violence: Representation, Rage, and Resistance.” Social Text, no. 37, 1993, pp. 187–201.

Hollinger, Veronica. “(Re)Reading Queerly: Science Fiction, Feminism, and the Defamiliarization of Gender.” Science Fiction Studies, vol. 26, no. 1 [77], Mar. 1999, pp. 23–40.

Lothian, Alexis. “Feminist and Queer Science Fiction in America.” The Cambridge Companion to American Science Fiction, edited by Eric Carl Link and Gerry Canavan, Cambridge University Press, 2015, pp. 70–82.

Melzer, Patricia. Alien Constructions: Science Fiction and Feminist Thought. University of Texas Press, 2006.

Merrick, Helen. “Gender in Science Fiction.” The Cambridge Companion to Science Fiction, edited by Edward James and Farah Mendlesohn, Cambridge University Press, 2003, pp. 241–252.

Moore, Mandy Elizabeth "Future Visions: Queer Utopia in Steven Universe," Research on Diversity in Youth Literature: 2.1, 2019.

Pawlak, Wendy Sue. “The Spaces between: Non-Binary Representations of Gender in Twentieth-Century American Film.” Dissertation Abstracts International, vol. 73, no. 11, U of ArizonaProQuest, May 2013.

Pearson, Wendy Gay. “Queer Theory.” The Routledge Companion to Science Fiction, edited by Mark Bould et al., Routledge, 2009, pp. 298–307.

Pearson, Wendy Gay. “Science Fiction and Queer Theory” Published as a book chapter in: The Cambridge Companion to Science Fiction. Edward James and Farah Mendlesohn. (Eds.), 2003. Pp. 149-160.

Roqueta Fernandez, Marta “Posthumanism and the creation of racialised, queer identities and sexualities: An analysis of ‘Steven Universe’” Monográfico: Nuevas Amazonas, 2.7, 2019. Pp. 48-84.

Thomas, Misty. “‘I am a Conversation’: Media Literacy, Queer Pedagogy, and Steven Universe in College Curriculum”. Dialogue: The Interdisciplinary Journal of Popular Culture and Pedagogy, 6.3, 2019.

Valentin, Al. “Using the Animator’s Tools to Dismantle the Master’s House? Gender, Race, Sexuality and Disability in Cartoon Network’s Adventure Time and Steven Universe.” Buffy to Batgirl: Essays on Female Power, Evolving Femininity and Gender Roles in Science Fiction and Fantasy, edited by Julie M. Still et al., McFarland & Company Publishing, 2019, pp. 175–215.

[novantinuum]

A K N O T

Thank you for the ask, fren!! :DDD

A- Ships that you currently like a lot. (They don’t have to be OTPs because not everyone has OTPs.) Friendships, pairings, threesomes, etc. are allowed.

I… get emotional about a lot of relationships, so just for fun I’m gonna list a favorite friendship, pairing, and threesome from all four of my main fandoms. Ones I’m especially emotional about are italicized. :D

Steven Universe

-Friendship: Steven and Peridot-Pairing: Steven/Connie (The essence of childhood innocence. There’s such an open honesty to how they interact with each other that makes me really happy.)-Threesome: Buck/Jenny/Sour Cream

Doctor Who

-Friendship: Tenth Doctor and Donna Noble-Pairing: The Doctor/Clara. (Just like, in general. Doesn’t matter which Doctor. Although Twelve is my personal favorite when it comes to this pairing. It’s been literal years and I’m still not over them. Can’t believe series 9 was pretty much an entire love letter to these two’s relationship ;D;)-Threesome: Twelfth Doctor/Clara/River (I saw this in some fics a few times and it was sooo good oh my god)

Tales of Arcadia

-Friendship: Aja and Jim-Pairing: Blinky/Aaarrrgghh-Threesome: Jim/Toby/Claire (these kids are soooo goood and care for each other so much oh my god)

Gravity Falls

-Friendship: Ford and Dipper (they’re relatives, but it still counts as a sort of friendship, right??)-Pairing: Ford/Fiddleford. (Even though I’m not suPER active in this fandom atm I still think about these two a lot and I’ll also probably never get over them. Give it time and a rewatch, and I guarantee I’ll fall back kicking and screaming into being emotional over them.)-Threesome: Mabel/Candy/Grenda 

K- What character has your favorite development arc/the best development arc?

Steven Universe. I didn’t notice the depth of his character development as starkly while catching the new eps over the years, but as I’ve started rewatching in order from the beginning it’s. Wow, it’s well done. I can easily track this kid’s growth in ability, maturity, leadership, and acceptance of himself from season to season. And then Change Your Mind goes and gives me just… the most satisfying end to a character arc I think I’ve ever seen, with that beautiful refusing scene. The sheer relief on his face as he finally understands who he is and who he isn’t, as he finally comes to fully love himself. RS always said this show was meant as a coming of age story, and it absolutely succeeds in being that.

As an honorary mention, the Twelfth Doctor also has suuuuch a good linear character development from s8-s10. He’s a rare Doctor honestly, in that he actually dies on a high note instead of after just… having the universe chip away at him until he’s nothin’ more but a depressed disaster alien. His development is positive, starting in s8 where he’s in a dark place and is re-evaluating who he is and what he values, and ending in s10 where he’s- by that point- figured out that what he’s all about is simply. Kindness. Laugh hard, run fast, be kind. I love this era for that.

N- Name three things you wish you saw more or in your main fandom (or a fandom of choice).

For Steven Universe…

More fics that deal with Pearl and Greg bonding. (as friends lol, just to clarify.) I just think there’s so much potential with these two coming to understand each other more, and growing closer as people. Maybe this is a sign that I need to write it? XD

It occurred to me today that I’ve never seen any art or fics about like… the angsty dark concept of Steven somehow getting accidentally corrupted, and hooo boy if you know of anything like this that exists please tell me so I can have Angst Tears thanks :DD

Give! Greg! A significant other! :DD I just think it’d be neat. 

O- Choose a song at random. Which ship or character does it remind you of?

Putting my iTunes on shuffle gave me Wrong by Depeche Mode, which is absolutely a Stan and Ford song. I mean, hell, I’ve legitimately made an AMV to it. (it’s here)

T- Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

A fusion isn’t “controlled” mentally by the people who make up the fusion, and there’s never gonna be any “passing the wheel back and forth” sorta action when it comes to how a fusion mentally operates. Fusions are their own separate, unique individuals with their own unique personalities that become more defined and complex the more they exist as themselves. I cannot even count how many times I’ve… strangely… seen fics where they do the first thing. I’m not a fan of it because it strips away the fusion’s autonomy.

I also can’t believe I’m having to say this in the year of our lord 2019 but- FUSION IS NOT A METAPHOR FOR SEX, it is not a sexual thing it merely represents relationships! Of all kinds! Which do not have to involve sex!

On older Steven/Connie- Steven will have another growth spurt, (and finally stop being trapped in perpetual ten-year-old-face zone lmao), but so will Connie and thus he never quite gets to be taller than her. He is consistently the shorter of the two.

The Doctor has loved and will love many people over their long, long lifespan in a variety of different ways. None of these loves negates the other. So, just because the Doctor was in love with Rose at an earlier point in their life doesn’t mean that they didn’t also love River or Clara etc. etc. as well. Some of these loves were outright romantic. Some were more queer-platonic. Some were more like long-term arranged marriage scenarios, where they were practically thrown together by the universe and they grew to deeply love and care for each other over time despite their differences. All of them are very important to the Doctor.

Stan is aro-spec and Ford is ace-spec. Fiddleford is a trans man and bisexual. My sexuality and gender headcanons for Stan and Ford shift a lot to be honest, but in my mind, these things are always constants.

(Ask meme here)

[caepaecaesurae]

> Cae + RL : Talk for literally 6000+ goddamn words

caepaecaesurae Sawv you mention on a post somewvhere, something about wvoes wvith monogamous quadrants carnivalsoration yeah. mostly huntress, but a bit of residual annoyance from lilac and i love wicked but like... feel a little like i can't do nothin that even implies pale leanin with anyone else without him feelin sad carnivalsoration why?

caepaecaesurae Been there before.  I tend to be fairly open about wvhere I and my quadrants spend our time, and it comes into conflict wvhen others are not Seldom fun, though mine are thankfully relaxed about these things at the moment It's alwvays hard to assess wvhere a particular person's rules and boundaries lay carnivalsoration it just sucks cuz lil's a pale slut and every time we have a talk bout relationships he perceives it as pale unless i'm talkin bout huntress specifically and he flips like a motherfucker when i'm just talkin and like.... am i supposed ta feel bad about that? should i try ta stop that? ain't like he can control how he feels... and then fuckin /huntress/ had ta be coaxed into thinkin me havin my own top leaf wasn't cheatin carnivalsoration ... i gotta be honest you probably know how sugary'd react ta me wantin another flush better than i do caepaecaesurae To be honest, it probably depends on howv you choose to phrase it caepaecaesurae I think the key part to keeping her happy is letting her be First(tm), and havwe there be a wvay in wvhich she is definitely wvinning carnivalsoration wow last time i tried that i was worried she would stab me the whole time caepaecaesurae Did she? carnivalsoration and i still feel like i escaped maiming by a hair nah caepaecaesurae Non-consensually? carnivalsoration nah chill your roll i wouldn't hide it if she did that shit don't fly caepaecaesurae Emotional convwersations wvith her can be hard, I'm fairly sure.  I generally avwoid them carnivalsoration i told her i don't love her romantically caepaecaesurae That sounds like it wvould complicate polyamory quite a bit carnivalsoration yeah 'hey can i date someone who i also don't love romantically' 'no they're not replacin you. i just like em. they're neat.' i think i mostly escaped cuz she didn't understand what the fuck i was talkin about she just thought i was bein stupid and nitpicky caepaecaesurae I think in that situation, I'd just call all newv interests lovwers, let her retain the 'official matesprit' title, and let the others knowv that potential jealousy is the only thing keeping them from advwancing further Rather, keeping the wvords I use to refer to them from advwancing further ... It's fairly likely that she doesn't completely understand emotional love as a concept, directly. carnivalsoration so matesprits in everythin but name caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration not a bad idea caepaecaesurae If you wvant her to understand, vwisit her wvhile she's like this.  She can feel lovwe. Until she and Lurky swvap back carnivalsoration ... it makes me uncomfortable caepaecaesurae Fair carnivalsoration lurky already makes me uncomfortable but this is a step beyond not even the Love feedin thing, just... she's hair caepaecaesurae Does it help any if I say she's surprisingly laid back about potentially serious conflicts, if evweryone invwolvwed just decides to be calm about it? carnivalsoration and taffy caepaecaesurae Not into tentacles then? carnivalsoration mood nope i like things with faces caepaecaesurae I'm sure she could imitate a fewv, possibly sevweral at a time, and that it wvould be vwery upsetting. carnivalsoration i only like one kinda tentacle and there's gotta be a body attached wow no caepaecaesurae WVell, there is a body attached Technically hers carnivalsoration you're killin me here brother caepaecaesurae ... I should stop teasing, I'm sorry. carnivalsoration don't worry you were a few shades shy of real discomfort caepaecaesurae I'm glad I think it's best, during this anon, to just.. regard them as non-sexual beings.  VWoice-chatting wvith her, vwia a ... relay, I suppose, that's physically attached to her normal body. carnivalsoration i mean. me and sugar already don't usually have sex caepaecaesurae She's there, she can be spoken to.  So can Lurky.  Lurky mainly likes petting carpet. carnivalsoration weird..... caepaecaesurae If you evwer wvanted to get pictures of Sugary doing remarkably silly things, or just to wvitness her body doing it, it's a grand opportunity They'vwe discovwered the concept of laughter, and enjoy evwery chance to do it. It's a little charming carnivalsoration i can accept so damn much about tumblr god game nonsense but this is still a step beyond what i got the tools ta deal with ... that's kinda cute but also a horrorterror so thats still weird like. whole thing. super odd fuckin cursed (you can tiptoe around the god thing) caepaecaesurae I'm sorry the multivwerse is so unrelentingly much carnivalsoration thanks like. body switching... the fuck. caepaecaesurae I'm glad that univwerses protect people from most of this sort of thing, most of the time. carnivalsoration i can contextualize a lotta other shit but like. how do you contextualize your body not being yours or someones face bein someone else caepaecaesurae Reminds me of mindscourges and vwoodoo a bit. carnivalsoration from the outside but i don't inhabit a body if i take control of it it's grabbin strings, not hhhh okay yeah subject change caepaecaesurae I can't think of any metaphors less upsetting, so aye carnivalsoration it's just gettin to me the same way parasites do carnivalsoration not as much. but in a similar way anyway. thanks for advice with sugar caepaecaesurae She adores you, and the fond regard you share Evwen if the specifics are a bit vwague carnivalsoration i adore her. i just don't feel for her like i do for wicked or like Ii did for ... anyway caepaecaesurae I think she has a hard time understanding normal trolls Or wvays in wvhich a troll can differ from the norm, since she has no reference point carnivalsoration mood carnivalsoration i told her that would get better eventually i ain't really a normal troll either caepaecaesurae The most vwaluable tool in your arsenal then, is remembering that making a pinky swvear about key facts can sometimes just make evwerything fine again. I don't knowv wvhy it wvorks, but it's vwery comforting carnivalsoration was that you or her caepaecaesurae A uniquely terrible fusion of both carnivalsoration that's... even better caepaecaesurae She's the one wvho believwes it easily I'm the one wvho... I suppose helps on followv-through once wve Do believwe it Once wve Did believwe it caepaecaesurae wvhatevwer carnivalsoration yeah caepaecaesurae If you can get me to believwe and accept an arbitrary honorable declaration, it can resolvwe complicated emotional situations completely. carnivalsoration that makes sense caepaecaesurae Sometimes things are ovwer and done, and it's just that simple. carnivalsoration ... huh i don't work like that at all wow caepaecaesurae She almost does. carnivalsoration it's mostly the 'believe' bit like how do you just. trust someone wow carnivalsoration the fuck caepaecaesurae I believwe her culture glorifies the ability to resolvwe conflicts swviftly. Particularly paths that maintain peace and cheer. carnivalsoration fuck.... it's alien as hell. when i bother ta think about it i keep forgettin her vapidness is a cultural thing caepaecaesurae On a more normal levwel, she likes being wvith you, and is vwery biased towvards information that supports you twvo being together. It may also be a biological thing, partly.  Lurky's complained about a short attention span a fewv times, in the current arrangement, wvhich I wvill resume not talking about. carnivalsoration thanks sugar is the least of my worries beyond maiming carnivalsoration shes simple i love her for it. but she is just... she don't make things complicated on an emotional level caepaecaesurae It's vwery direct Not much mess or fuss Just a bit of upkeep carnivalsoration yeah. ... you're just wantin gossip more or less, right? and ta give relationship advice hahaha caepaecaesurae Gossip is my lifeblood The advwice is just a bad habit carnivalsoration ;o) just makin sure i know your motive carnivalsoration luckily i love to bitch caepaecaesurae Don't wve all? WVhat other motivwes wvere you checking for? carnivalsoration shrug, i thought it was either that or you were thinkin a somethin specific ta talk on caepaecaesurae Broad and fair carnivalsoration i didn't know what you might wanna talk on, just approachin me with that particular topic seemed like it coulda been pointed somewhere particular ... so. how the fuck does ash work there also why the fuck are there so many fuckers with martyr complexes on tumblr caepaecaesurae There's howv it wvorked on Alternia, wvhich wvas one thing, and there's howv evweryone in my clade seems to handle it, wvhich is influencing howv it's handled in my current univwerse carnivalsoration gimme what you got caepaecaesurae On Alternia it wvas more of a temporary arrangement most of the time, wvith a fewv famous stable pairings wvhere contact wvas unavwoidable, and conflicts wvere incompletely resolvweable. Here..  It's expanded a bit.  An ashen seems to be able to meddle betwveen twvo trolls in any kind of relationship, not just pitch-that-should-not-be. Additionally, floating top leavwes are fairly common -- wvhere a troll has a stable, permanent auspistice wvho patches in temporarily, any time anyone has a conflict wvith their paramour carnivalsoration you and arlequin caepaecaesurae Aye, that carnivalsoration and pal and his ash caepaecaesurae Pal's matesprit has one as wvell I think. carnivalsoration neat caepaecaesurae It... can be convwenient, wvhen a troll has certain subjects about wvhich they are unreasonable or frequently in conflict Anyone wvho encounters such a conflict knowvs wvho can translate, and ensure a debate goes smoothly carnivalsoration lil needs that honestly caepaecaesurae Though there are unfortunate.. complications, at times If the bottom leaf comes into conflict wvith someone wvho has a conflict wvith the top leaf, the top leaf's presence wvill not help much So such arrangements are necessarily still somewvhat selectivwe carnivalsoration makes sense caepaecaesurae I do think Lil wvould do wvell wvith an open auspisticism carnivalsoration none of that sounds outta line for what i know caepaecaesurae He seems to often speak wvithout thinking about the reactions he wvill receivwe carnivalsoration temp ashen was way more common, in my experience, political ash are often floating, ash is usually for pitch but also useful for conflicts and toxic relationships, though its way harder ta get motherfuckers to believe they need an ash in that case lil is a talky little shit who only thinks he's not morally superior when he's not actively engaged in an argument caepaecaesurae I'vwe nevwer gotten particularly close, or spoken wvith him in much detail. I think he's offended that I spent a bit crimson, by choice. carnivalsoration and he treats any mildly offended counterpoint as an attack yeah he's a ridiculous little sjw hahaha caepaecaesurae I'll be debating it wvith him somenight I'm not sure wvhen carnivalsoration i wanna go temp ash between him and fex but huntress won't have it at fuckin all caepaecaesurae It's a shame wvhen things are different across univwerses WVhat wvould she think about it, if she had a conflict wvith a third party, and you assisted her wvith that? caepaecaesurae Still just as bad, or is it suddenly different wvhen it's about her? If it's jealousy, can it be resolvwed wvith givwing her some balance of separate attention? carnivalsoration she said she'd stop interactin with that person altogether to keep from bein a cheat caepaecaesurae Yikes. No idea if that's because her univwerse is different, her personal stance is different, or just because she's younger, but I wvish you luck carnivalsoration i fuckin know, right? she considers it cheating for me, her top leaf, to have a top leaf carnivalsoration even a temp one even a political one caepaecaesurae A grey area, pardon the pun carnivalsoration hahahahahahaha she's also the martyr type caepaecaesurae Speaking of, wvhat do you mean by martyr? carnivalsoration so i dunno if she actually accepted that i need this and she was alright with it or if she is just lettin me run over her aight, i think your purpose in life is ta have a good damn time. and some religious shit, but that's irrelevant carnivalsoration so when a motherfucker goes 'no, my quad is more important, and i will suffer so they can have fun' it pisses me off caepaecaesurae It annoys me mostly wvhen it's unecessary carnivalsoration martyr: some fucker who puts their health and wellbeing at risk for others relatively irrelevant shit for a long period of time. all the time. caepaecaesurae Aye.  Some trolls think that's howv life wvorks. carnivalsoration either gettin bitter or losin their own sense of self. ruinin the relationship but draggin it out just cuz they didn't put their foot down while the other person thinks shit is fine! pisses me off like. why the fuck don't they just love themselves caepaecaesurae It's important to be able to trust that your partner is telling you an apt amount of the truth. Evwen I fall into that trap occasionally. carnivalsoration sometimes bad shit happens and you gotta wade through it together. but thats way different from layin down in the mud and lettin em walk on you caepaecaesurae Or hiding things to "protect" them. carnivalsoration i put people equal to me, brought my own happiness down for them, before. but i always expected we would crawl outta the pit together yeah fuck that carnivalsoration .... okay i done that one a couple times caepaecaesurae One must choose wvhether a quadrant is a partner or some sort of odd pet that is being fostered, and stick to that choice.  And be honest about it. carnivalsoration but i'm gettin better yeah. caepaecaesurae I think evweryone wvith good intentions or a privwate streak does that one a fewv times. carnivalsoration ... tellin wicked things is hard sometimes cuz i don't wanna make him sad.... but i'm gettin better so it's fine caepaecaesurae Progress is all one can hope for carnivalsoration anyway huntress's a mess caepaecaesurae She seems pleasant and wvell-meaning carnivalsoration she's a little brat who's been pining over some damn karkat who ditched her cuz she protected him with ~violence~ caepaecaesurae The young become amazingly invwested in some things carnivalsoration i think it's been sweeps caepaecaesurae Oh, gods.. Her univwerse's karkat? carnivalsoration yeah. yeah! beforan, for what that means to you caepaecaesurae tsk.  I wvish her luck wvith that caepaecaesurae I'vwe been Beforan Some trolls are young trolls, and Beforus is a young planet. carnivalsoration she says shes just glad he's happy but i can fuckin tell. she's torn all up and still callin him good annoying. caepaecaesurae It could be she knowvs it just wvouldn't wvork. If he's that firm about an ideal like that, and her instincts say to protect him... carnivalsoration she won't even ask caepaecaesurae It may not wvork out Aye?  But she can decide if she thinks it wvould be annoying. carnivalsoration she lets herself live in limbo it's annoying! caepaecaesurae Maybe she needs to stop pining then carnivalsoration like. damn, if someone ain't treatin you right you treat yourself right and ditch em yeah that's what i said. but she is impressively stubborn it's annoyin and not what my job is so i'm leavin it why you interested in polyamory anyway? caepaecaesurae It's her call wvhat to do wvith her pusher,and I'm sure it wvill be a revwelation for the ages that wvill leavwe her changed and growvn for the experience But some such journeys are best left to those participating, so, aye caepaecaesurae I don't see the details of it discussed much I see people in the main ultra-clade havwing ten lovwers and three moirails each, but little about specific logistical questions carnivalsoration I got just the three quads and a handful of lovers carnivalsoration i don't even necessarily want other quads so much as i feel stuck in the boxes cuz all the current ones are strict bout it caepaecaesurae I'm blessed to havwe the quadrants I do carnivalsoration lucky fuck caepaecaesurae Fewv to no long-term lovwers though Sympathy.  I'vwe dated trolls that wvere on the strict side before, and it can chafe carnivalsoration (no comment cuz i don't want you feelin weird) weird thing is i'm pretty boxy myself, i just. like, quads blur a little at the edges? carnivalsoration and i feel like i gotta stay way away from the edge which is lame caepaecaesurae > (picture of a cat in a too-small box) carnivalsoration hahahahaha caepaecaesurae > (picture of a different cat in a too-small box) caepaecaesurae > (picture of a third cat in a too-small box) carnivalsoration honestly i dunno if it'd chafe so much if i didn't have so many quads. never been this close ta full up before, aside from the whole two weeks ash and pitch were inhabited at the same time caepaecaesurae WVith so many of them, there's less space for unlabled things carnivalsoration yeah. carnivalsoration i got a kinda flush kinda pale submissive thing goin on with one of my lovers, but i feel a little weird mentionin it caepaecaesurae I don't think there's anything wvrong wvith that if it isn't threatening your primary quadrants at all carnivalsoration mostly cuz a sugar. also cuz it's close but it's mostly sex still. caepaecaesurae I think the popular hack for that is to make up a newv symbol carnivalsoration .... like her though. she's sweet hahahahaha maybe caepaecaesurae I knowv a pair of trolls that go around wvith <2 carnivalsoration i'll just have an eggplant be our quad symbol .... ain't that fex and twoblade? some damn captor for sure.... caepaecaesurae Aye, that's the one carnivalsoration i know a pitch pale pair who got <*> caepaecaesurae That's a good one An eggplant's a bit hard to copy into text though carnivalsoration true i dunno. how many quads you got by the by? caepaecaesurae A full set of four carnivalsoration well shit you gonna add any more to the bunch, ya think? caepaecaesurae I'm not honestly sure carnivalsoration got anyone in mind? caepaecaesurae I knowv howv I wvas on Alternia, and howv... wvidespread my attention tended to growv, but I'vwe been different since Wvell I don't see any direct and immediate contenders in my future, despite a bit of vwery directed teasing on a fewv fronts carnivalsoration oh? :o) teasing from where caepaecaesurae Oh, clade carnivalsoration bout who carnivalsoration ;o) i gave you gossip now you gotta give me some caepaecaesurae WVell, carnivalsoration well~? caepaecaesurae > Does he want to admit to having a crush on the Demoness, or *Ringleader's Matesprit*? > These are both bad options.  He tries to think of any other crush. > What about Wicked, Ringleader's moirail.  But only as a lover.  Uh. caepaecaesurae > What about a random name, but then Ringleader will expect him to follow through caepaecaesurae ah carnivalsoration you aight over there? caepaecaesurae Romantic situations that aren't fully settled put me in a bit of a conniption I'm not sure wvhere to sart carnivalsoration you got so many people you're thinkin of? or just a lotta people you get teased over? caepaecaesurae Sevweral tease-wvorthy ones carnivalsoration pick one caepaecaesurae Once upon a time, wvhen I wvas extremely young, there wvas a vwery brief infatuation wvith my Zahhak WVhile nowv many, many centuries passed I still hear about it from time to time carnivalsoration oh hey what stopped it? caepaecaesurae His complete lack of interest and a bit of a prank carnivalsoration hahahahaha shoulda been more persistent, it worked for dual caepaecaesurae He decided to feign a caepaecaesurae lifestyle for our first and only date carnivalsoration oh? caepaecaesurae He suggested wve go to a field to graze carnivalsoration HAHAHAHAHAHAHA caepaecaesurae WVe wvere teen beforans He wvas serious. carnivalsoration fuck! caepaecaesurae I did not ask him out again carnivalsoration hahahahahahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae Look, some things aren't meant to be carnivalsoration fuck that's amazing i gotta tell dual ask him if that woulda stopped his pining caepaecaesurae Gods Please don't tell him wvhich alternate carnivalsoration ;o) our secret caepaecaesurae There wvas literally a field I did not graze. carnivalsoration i was about to ask hahahaha carnivalsoration so we got one down, who else you gettin teased on caepaecaesurae Chiieeef, you're killing me... carnivalsoration ;o) i'll make it up to you later caepaecaesurae I'vwe been fairly shy about lovwers in general for a wvhile, but that's been picking up a little bit Seldom more than once per troll, but carnivalsoration tell me if i should lay off caepaecaesurae Sorry if it's a mood kill carnivalsoration i know you and sugar hooked up, can't remember if it was during or after bein trickstered caepaecaesurae It wvas suggested during, but wve did get together a bit after carnivalsoration oh good. i made dumb as fuck decisions as a trickster, glad ya don't gotta deal with that caepaecaesurae Oh, I tried There's one troll I'vwe purposefully stayed platonic wvith for some swveeps, to avwoid givwing his matesprit jealousy issues That staying platonic wvas rather narrowv, and had nothing to do wvith me carnivalsoration oh, you worry bout jealousy then? caepaecaesurae These things aren't really sustainable if one doesn't carnivalsoration > A slow smile starts to spread across his face as a couple of things click into place. caepaecaesurae There wvas a time I didn't bother, and I had a vwery exciting life ...it's much easier if I just respect boundaries. WVhich invwolvwes finding out wvhat they are carnivalsoration ya know, to find out what they are, you gotta ask caepaecaesurae Aye, usually, but sometimes one can get a vwery good sense just from reading a troll carnivalsoration gotta make sure a motherfucker ain't the jealous type before ya go after his matesprit. can't mention you actually want his matesprit cuz what if he decides its a challenge. ... i just realized you might panic if i play coy ask sugar out caepaecaesurae Fucking hell carnivalsoration hahahahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae Look, there's more reasons than Just that that it's terribly complicated, but thank you carnivalsoration yeah yeah i know its a publicity thing, and you actually live somewhere they'll give a fuck but hey, if you wanna go after her, you can probably give her things i can't anyway caepaecaesurae I wvas wvicked's casual lovwer briefly, for a time, before VWelius got possessivwe and wve stopped. I mean, for wvhat that's wvorth carnivalsoration yeah i know caepaecaesurae I think she needs someone wvho can admit that there's anything, too carnivalsoration i mean... ... she's got me for that. caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration i like her a lot. .... but like. do you ... romantically? caepaecaesurae WVe relate to her in vwery different wvays carnivalsoration we understand her in similar ways though carnivalsoration (we nice and panic free over there?) caepaecaesurae The problems I'm havwing finding the wvords aren't related to fear ...but thank you I think wve can actually havwe this convwersation carnivalsoration :oD i was gonna tease you for a bit but uh. caepaecaesurae I don't entirely knowv wvhat I'm doing wvith her, except that this is the first or second time I'vwe been led into something by a part of me that didn't bother asking my advwice first.  ...Since coming to Prosperity. On Alternia, falling into things like this wvas a wvay of life, and I let it happen evwery single time. carnivalsoration huh caepaecaesurae I am inexplicably fond of her, and I really wvish that wvas more dependant on her moral stature than it is. carnivalsoration hahaha she's doin better. i'm proud of her. caepaecaesurae She is. carnivalsoration she's actually started to think i have low standards for puttin up with her caepaecaesurae It's lovwely to see howv far she's come, and howv wvell she does. Really? carnivalsoration yeah. when she healed my horns she hugged me tight and said she had to go before she stole me away. and i told her i was proud of her for lettin me do what i had to and she said i needed higher standards hahaha carnivalsoration which. probably. ... but i dunno, with someone like her, its easier to judge by effort and intent than by progress by way of distance gone caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration and she's puttin in a lotta effort caepaecaesurae Evwen wvith backslides, like evwery time someone she hasn't seen in ovwer a swveep pops online, ... carnivalsoration yeah... caepaecaesurae Evwen the backslides are growving milder. carnivalsoration she deserves more people in her corner who ain't fussin endlessly like val tries to do caepaecaesurae "Oops, I took a captivwe" became "Oops, I tormented someone vwerbally", wvhich becomes "Oops, I forgot they legitimately hate me for something that I didn't pay attention to..." carnivalsoration she tells me her moments of weakness so i can help her not caepaecaesurae She's doing wvell enough that evwen some of her enemies are thawving a bit carnivalsoration she asked me to ask muralist if he still felt compelled to obey her so she would know if she can interact with him and still have him comfortable. and had me do it so he wouldn't panic right off caepaecaesurae Oh, that's clevwer carnivalsoration ;o) caepaecaesurae WVe tend to commisserate, any time one of our reputations bites us carnivalsoration mine ain't some fuckin how caepaecaesurae WVhich is nice carnivalsoration maybe it's cuz i'm so far removed. maybe it's cuz i dont seem to care caepaecaesurae Maybe it's because no one you'vwe wvronged has a popular tumblr account carnivalsoration a couple fuckers sent me asks in those first few days after the tents got ... and i talked all guilty and they kept at it carnivalsoration but the second i stopped they stopped tormenting me caepaecaesurae They're harsh sometimes. carnivalsoration they're talentless i deserve better from an interrogator the only reason they got me at all is cuz they kicked me when i was down caepaecaesurae They've gotten me like that a fewv tims carnivalsoration fex don't trust me. but he trusts me enough to let me on prosperity nadaya's suspicion evaporated once i stopped hidin ... i dunno. rep's weird caepaecaesurae Arty's gotten a lot more trusting in general, wvhich is nice. carnivalsoration good for me at least caepaecaesurae I think she likes knowving that reputation problems aren't just hers, and also that they can be mostly resolvwed. Evwen if little flareups happen. carnivalsoration yeah. ... so if it wouldn't hurt your rep, would ya try for her flush? caepaecaesurae Most of the comisseration started off, in the early days, as just "Here's something terrible but relatable that happened to someone that isn't you" carnivalsoration hahahaha wish i had someone like you when i fell i was way slower than her caepaecaesurae My rep, my current clade wvho are all vwiolently allergic to both her bloodline and her in particular, ... carnivalsoration yeah. sucks. i've only got one fucker in my inclade who's violently allergic to me but that's. too damn many. caepaecaesurae There's a thousand and one reasons wvhy it wvouldn't wvork carnivalsoration and yet you care enough ta go fishin for how i'd feel bout it. you're a hopeful fucker ain't you. caepaecaesurae I think she's a good friend carnivalsoration boo, cop out caepaecaesurae And some friendships are nevwer clearly described or labled carnivalsoration .... :o) caepaecaesurae Some friendships are like that on purpose carnivalsoration you do you. caepaecaesurae You're a breath of fresh air, chief. carnivalsoration tell me more tell me more caepaecaesurae Hahaha carnivalsoration what can i say, i love complements caepaecaesurae I.. hope to take care that my friendship wvith her nevwer negativwely impacts anyone's relationships.  Mine or hers. If she gets fussy about you havwing anyone else, you might be able to use it as a wvay to encourage openmindedness in her though. carnivalsoration hahahaha caepaecaesurae If she gets vwague friends, no reason other people can't havwe them carnivalsoration you are really good at gettin fuckers on your side carnivalsoration .... where do we stand? caepaecaesurae If I must havwe but one talent, let it be that one carnivalsoration hahaha caepaecaesurae It's nice to havwe that off my mind, honestly.  Not that I wvas or wvasn't activwely checking anything. caepaecaesurae I appreciate it, and your wvillingness to break character in the middle of teasing Evwen Muralist has to remind me nowv and again carnivalsoration well as much as i like games, i played the wrong one to start and now teasing looks like danger unless i'm real clear bout it. so imma be clear. carnivalsoration ... so uh. you don't usually take lovers more than once or twice? caepaecaesurae Lately carnivalsoration yeah. caepaecaesurae I wvas wvith WVicked a wvhile, though I think it depends on the troll, and on opportunity carnivalsoration how do i rank i aint gonna be mad if i don't place. caepaecaesurae You're a good troll, and I appreciate the effort you put into keeping me at ease.  And I'm sorry for howv long you wvere on edge about me, and any stress that may havwe added to the rebellion carnivalsoration eh, you thought it was more handled than it was i'm a paranoid motherfucker and that's on me caepaecaesurae WVe both havwe moments like that. carnivalsoration so long as we do our best we'll turn out fine. caepaecaesurae aye.  I did enjoy that evwening, evwen if I spent a wvhile facepalming at myself after the anon wvore off caepaecaesurae Not because of anything you did carnivalsoration > .... H..op..ef....ul? > He's being vague but there's complements involved. nah i understand. caepaecaesurae You knowv the feeling, wvhen your cautious side is exasperated wvith your less cautious side, but evwerything still turned out wvell carnivalsoration i did shit i don't exactly regret but i weren't quite ready for caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration ... nah. i was ready, i wasnt set like. ya gotta psyche yourself up for that shit, and i was already psyched, and then i was me and it was sudden carnivalsoration makes shit a bit awkward hahahaha caepaecaesurae Aye It's fascinating, though carnivalsoration i can't tell if youre dodgin, stallin, or you think you've given me an answer caepaecaesurae Somenight I should psyche myself up for a more honest repeat.  I'm slowv as hell though, and it doesn't seem fair or wvise to set hopes up carnivalsoration honk! caepaecaesurae It takes me a running start and ten paragraphs to answver any question, chief. carnivalsoration hahahaha you just like puttin motherfuckers on the edge of their seats. caepaecaesurae I like being exact and explicit Length runs in the blood, I suppose carnivalsoration ;o) but exact things don't weave around the point so much as you caepaecaesurae Think of it as a skycraft circling in for a landing You havwe to spend at least an hour gradually examining the question from all angles before you can come in for your final approach carnivalsoration you draw shapes in the clouds while you're at it carnivalsoration i like it though. even if 'you're a good troll' is the perfect set up for 'let's just be friends' caepaecaesurae Sorry carnivalsoration hahaha it's aight. kept the suspense up caepaecaesurae It's also a good setup for "Not wvhen my pan is wvild, and I havwe no idea wvhen it wvon't be" carnivalsoration i can wait til you're ready caepaecaesurae Nowv you're going to make me blus carnivalsoration and if i die of old age before you get round to it, well guess you're just not into older dudes good, you glow pretty caepaecaesurae I don't think it wvill take anywvhere near that long carnivalsoration hey, now i got a timeframe! before i die :op caepaecaesurae WVell, ideally carnivalsoration i'm just fine waitin as long as ya need. caepaecaesurae You're a peach. Maybe sometime wve'll finally get around to that music night. carnivalsoration :o* :oD one a these nights and there won't even be war to weigh it down caepaecaesurae Aye carnivalsoration :o) caepaecaesurae Sorry for not helping out more wvith that carnivalsoration how do you mean? caepaecaesurae It seems like I let my owvn wvariness get in the wvay of helping Since part of wvhat wve wvere going to discuss at that meeting included things like planning carnivalsoration if i didn't break your trust you woulda done it actions got consequences. that's how it goes i ain't gonna be mad at you for keepin your own self safe caepaecaesurae WVe all havwe our journeys I suppose Thank you carnivalsoration beyond that, no way of knowin how much difference it woulda made, so there's no server worrying bout what coulda happened instead,aight? you bet, brother caepaecaesurae It's a bit odd, this isn't the first time I'vwe been called hopeful or an idealist. carnivalsoration oh? caepaecaesurae This wveek, evwen. Is it that idealistic to circuitously examine the lay of the land? carnivalsoration mmmmm depends if you're bein cautious or lingerin back to dream a little longer caepaecaesurae Heh. Must a man choose? carnivalsoration i think you're a practical idealist. so ya do both, imagining best and worst scenario. :o) caepaecaesurae And seeking lists of reasons wvhy it wvouldn't wvork, as much as seeking reasons it wvould carnivalsoration yeah~ caepaecaesurae Tsk, wvhat's that ~ caepaecaesurae No need for ~'s carnivalsoration uh... they slip in from time ta time caepaecaesurae Tsk, pardon.  It read like teasing again carnivalsoration haha nah. i just like seeing you dream caepaecaesurae Tsk I suppose dreamer's as good a wvord for it as any carnivalsoration yeah idealist, dreamer. i been lead ta believe they're the same thing, cept dreamers don't try as hard to make their shit come true caepaecaesurae An interesting difference Chasing perfection is an interesting game. carnivalsoration yeah. idealists are people who got a place to go. dreamers already found the place they wanna be and it's in their skull and you're definitely more the former. but ya know... nothin wrong with dreamin from time to time caepaecaesurae WVhat about someone wvhose dreams are easy to make real? carnivalsoration lucky :o) either that or soon ta be disillusioned. if they're easy ta make real then they probably weren't that great ta begin with. either way, soon they'd be dreamin somethin else i think caepaecaesurae True enough It's easy to lose interest in a dream that came easily carnivalsoration this is like three levels deep into old man philosophising for me, how bout you caepaecaesurae This wvell doesn't really havwe a bottom, and I can divwe forevwer carnivalsoration hahahahahahaha caepaecaesurae I hear tell some people havwe trouble holding their breath quite so long Rumors, you knowv. "Air". They like talking about things that, you knowv, exist Or matter carnivalsoration for the young, i like metaphors with only the slimmest basis in reality and relevance caepaecaesurae It can be a fun game to see howv long it takes them to realise you aren't actually saying anything. caepaecaesurae Been a wvhile since I'vwe done that one. carnivalsoration fuck hahahahahaha caepaecaesurae "Ah yes, the paint wveathers wvith time." "Yes, you havwe it, it's like the birds." carnivalsoration half the time i'm not sure if i'm sayin much either, but considerin how many younglings come up to me for advice like i got a handle on things, it's way funner to just say whatever comes to mind and then they leave feelin more sure, either cuz they found sense in what i said, or cuz they know at least they make more sense than me caepaecaesurae I generally try to havwe a point.  I alwvays mean something. WVhether I manage is anyone's guess. Trolls under about ten tend to call me a blowvhard. Not a fan of that. carnivalsoration yeah i don't talk to many trolls under ten i dunno. i have a point but most of it's just like... what i learned is roundabouts what they're lookin to hear, or what other people were lookin to hear when they asked carnivalsoration and then the rest of it just leads back to 'do what makes you happy' with the caveat of 'try not to be a tool' caepaecaesurae I think you'vwe just described howv age and experience wvorks. carnivalsoration :o) caepaecaesurae You're in a light mood It's a interesting change.  You wvere slightly grimmer wvhen wve met carnivalsoration yeah! 's a good night caepaecaesurae I'm glad carnivalsoration hey, i got a Not Rejection and then a whole bunch a jumpin down a rabbit hole just for the fun of thinkin through semantics and motivation carnivalsoration talkin on life is nice, and as long as it don't lead to nothin maudlin i enjoy it. caepaecaesurae It's nice to bring some good to the wvorld carnivalsoration gay caepaecaesurae And I am fond of wvaxing philosophical somenights tsk carnivalsoration hahahahahaha i can't remember what the point of the conversation was anymore or the new point i guess, i figured out the first one oh yeah, we was talkin about you bein an idealist. ... and then i think you mighta started vaguin about your aspect shit at one point caepaecaesurae A bit It's true no matter howv it happens, magic or not, though.  A dream realised quickly is.... shallowv. No matter wvhat that dream consists of. carnivalsoration yeah. sometimes fuckers gotta dream of the little things, to keep goin. but... i dunno, i think it plays back into effort verses result again caepaecaesurae Aye Structure is important carnivalsoration people don't look at effort enough, i think. fuckers struggle with different things, and measurin em by how hard they're strugglin equalizes things a lot better caepaecaesurae It does caepaecaesurae I'm sorry, I'm distracted, I'm thinking about you naked. carnivalsoration oh fuck > Damnit you're flustered, that was sudden as hell. and then what ;o) > Flawless caepaecaesurae No, I think you had it right, do you havwe a fewv minutes? carnivalsoration honk yeah i got time caepaecaesurae I really wvish I understood my pan, sometimes. carnivalsoration > Did you say something sexy in there what the hell happened. > You're not arguing, but /what the hell happened/ oh, cool, am i not the only one confused? caepaecaesurae Oh, hardly, I just roll wvith it. carnivalsoration your place or mine, brother? hahahahaha caepaecaesurae I could be right ovwer carnivalsoration :o! aight

[love-takes-work]

The Answer Outline & Review

Here are some rambly thoughts on the lovely children's book The Answer, which I reviewed on Goodreads and Amazon the day it came out.

I preordered the book on Amazon as soon as it was announced, but it did not spontaneously appear in my home at midnight so I also bought the eBook because I am weak. (Whatever, they deserve my money.)

I’m one of those embarrassingly huge fans of this show so it was kind of a given that I was going to love this book. But let me tell y'all why it’s good and why it’s important.

This is Ruby and Sapphire’s story of love and freedom. I think we all know that a children’s storybook that’s about a “she” falling in love with a “she” is bound to get some raised eyebrows in a world that thinks relationships like theirs can never be innocent, but I would prefer not to focus on that much at all.

I just want to say that it’s so vital that children see these relationships in the same context that they see cross-sex relationships--and it’s not JUST so kids who have same-sex crushes and attractions can see themselves and know they can get fairy tale endings too. It’s also for the rest of you--and if those of you who aren’t queer can imagine growing up with no books about people like you, you might start to get the idea.

But you might not be able to really understand, because you probably CAN’T imagine how devastating it is--when there don’t seem to be nice words that describe you, or when futures for people like you don’t seem to exist, or when you want to know where you are in the literature people get upset, or when people talk to you like it either doesn’t matter that you’re invisible or that you’re disgusting for wanting that.

We want to be in stories because stories are how humanity talks to itself.

If we aren’t in them, we also learn very young that we don’t truly get to participate in human life.

So I want to say thank you to everyone who made it possible for something like this to exist. I’m so happy, but also relieved--and a little exasperated that something this sweet and pure took this long to get here because some people look at it and don’t see it for what it it is.

So what is it?

Yes, this story features the beginning of the love between Ruby and Sapphire, though it still doesn’t really delve into that. We see very little of their time together.

We see them both being sort of in awe of each other--Ruby being amazed that Sapphire would want to be around someone like her when she’s an aristocrat and has amazing powers to see beyond time, and Sapphire being amazed that Ruby’s courage upended what she thought was inevitable--and we get a peek at the way they look at each other.

What we do see more of is their decision to become a Fusion together--the ability the Gem characters have to meld into each other and become another person who represents their relationship. (But also the new Gem will have her own thoughts and feelings, her own new appearance, and her own attitude built from what her component Gems inspire in each other.)

In Sapphire and Ruby’s story, I think the Fusion relationship is a unique one--not just because she was the first of her kind in her society, but because the relationship between Ruby and Sapphire is now forever changed by how they feel about becoming another entity together. They will eventually fully love each other, but that love will always be influenced by what they’ve experienced as a Fusion.

And everything about their relationship is about possibility, opportunity, novelty, freshness, and power. Rubies in Gem society are supposed to be simple soldiers who do what they’re told and fight with their comrades. Sapphires in Gem society are supposed to be wise seers who don’t let their emotions affect what happens next.

When Ruby made a choice that Rubies aren’t supposed to make, Sapphire helplessly watched a future develop that wasn’t in the plan. And both of them found what they’d rather be instead.

I really appreciate that there was such a strong “supposed to” that the characters challenged without quite meaning to, and that leaving what they were accustomed to did cause them some distress. They had to find something new to be now that Ruby couldn’t do what Rubies do and Sapphire couldn’t do what Sapphires do.

They realized there are multiple “supposed to’s” for Gems like them, and fusing together into someone who had no “supposed to’s” (because she wasn’t supposed to exist) must have made it so much more joyous to explore what lay ahead.

The art is pretty special--lots of unsettling images (though nothing too scary), lots of beautiful images, and a different style from the cartoon–it’s simplified and stylized, but it still gets plenty of emotion onto those little faces. The backgrounds are lovely as they generally are in the show, and the characters commenting on the text in a meta fashion and talking to each other from little alcoves (Sapphire above, Ruby below) was really powerful.

There’s narration, but there’s also Sapphire and Ruby saying how they felt about what was happening, and expressing opinions about each other’s statements and caring about each other’s distress. Eventually, they go into each other’s chambers, comment on how they feel, and share their perspectives. It seems simple but it’s quite a nuanced metaphor and I think a lot of children will understand it despite the complexity.

Speaking of complexity, there are some concepts here that I think render this book most appropriate for people who have context from watching the TV show. The fusion concept isn’t presented all that accessibly to new fans, and if you haven’t seen the show before you don’t know that when Gems’ physical form is destroyed, they reform later (if their Gem isn’t smashed).

You don’t get introduced to Pearl even though she’s there, and you have no context for the illustration of Blue Diamond (and her Pearl), and even though Garnet is mentioned in the online description of the book, she’s not called by name in the story itself (just like in the episode).

It’s also a little unclear in the book (but not the cartoon) why the other Gems were furious at them for fusing, but I guess the story had to be kept simple. There’s also some complex language in the book--vocabulary words children in the target group probably won’t see in school for a few more years--but the presentation makes me think they will have context to pick it up. I remember doing that a lot as a kid with children’s books that slipped in an advanced word here and there.

I was hoping for a couple things I didn’t get, but I don’t blame books for not fulfilling expectations they didn’t promise to fulfill. I was really hoping to hear a little more about the moment of Sapphire and Ruby’s first fusion, because in the show fusion is supposed to be about being on the same wavelength, and it seemed almost incongruous that they could have fused at that moment amidst all that confusion. If they did, they must have temporarily wanted the same thing.

I know what Ruby wanted--to save Sapphire--but I would have loved to see a glimpse of Sapphire wanting to be saved rather than just being sort of blindsided by the rescue. I would have been really interested to see more of that moment of escape into their unheard-of spontaneous relationship--the action that changed who they were figuratively and literally (not to mention saving the planet).

The overall package is really precious and looks the way it should--like an age-appropriate, fairy-tale-esque storybook that doesn’t have anything strange or inappropriate at all. I can’t even imagine reading this to a child and having them stop me to ask “wait, ARE THEY TWO GIRLS??” because it’s just so smooth and well told, and the characters’ casually presented embraces and nonchalant closeness uses the same cues we’d expect to see on a Disney princess dancing with her prince. It’s just Not. An. Issue. Not in the book. Outside of the book, I imagine it will be. I hope the hubbub it creates is primarily positive.

And now, of course, it’s made even more clear in this book that Garnet doesn’t ask questions in the show because Rose told her not to and she took it quite literally. (She seems to get around asking questions with tricky wording, though, like instead of “What did you see?” she’ll say “Tell me what you saw.”) If you already ARE the answer, what questions could you need to ask?

And I’ve got to say Rebecca Sugar dedicating the book to Ian Jones-Quartey is really sweet.

[SU Book and Comic Reviews]

[shelfcompletionist-blog]

#008: A Red Cherry on a White-tiled Floor, by Maram Al-Massri

She said: Yes I devoured him… I was hungry like a man...

Several lines in the translation of Maram Al-Massri’s poetry collection A Red Cherry on a White-tiled Floor trail off in ellipses, exhalations of passion that cannot be reconstituted into a structured whole. It isn’t hard to see that the main preoccupation of this collection, itself culled from two of Al-Massri’s poetry collections published in Arabic, is the expression of female desire, and the ways in which that desire is complicated by the strictures of patriarchal societies. Al-Massri’s poetry alternates between these wistful moments of indeterminacy and strong, declarative statements of self-assertion. The poem cited above ends with the following stanza:

And like a man I splayed him across my desires Blossoming with masculinity.

Al-Massri’s oscillation of desire between these two points (to say nothing of the many more emotions that go into her verses) captures a near-universal experience: that cycle of conscious and subconscious anxieties and delights that comes with human passion. There are moments in which you want to get lost in the experience of fulfillment, but that feeling of getting lost can lead to fears of losing it, losing that ability to meet our desire. We feel forced to declare our passions in the strongest possible terms so that they may not be lost, so that they may be recognized. For Al-Massri, a Syrian expatriate woman, who faces the disenfranchising of her desire from several angles (national, linguistic, ex-national, etc), the need to affirm in short verse lines is pressing.

The experience of reading this collection is also rather entrancing. The individual poems of this collection are only separated by a few vertical spaces, and denoted only by small numerals, so that in practice they could be read as one long poem. This may not make a lot of logical sense, considering the sometimes radical shifts in content from one poem to another, but Al-Massri builds a large enough retinue of motifs, images, and themes that this reading, of oeuvre as long poem, ends up magnifying the intensity of the work.  

Books Read in the Interim

I Hate the Internet, by Jarett Kobek - This book is more than a bit insufferable, but if it wasn't, it probably wouldn't work as well as it does. Not so much a novel as it is a deserialized diatribe a la a blog post or twitter thread (although Kobek might pull his hair out if he heard it described as such), I Hate The Internet confronts several of the neoliberalite lies that we dwellers of cyberspace want to conveniently ignore in order to continue our day to day social media ins and outs. Is it about as broad-sided an assault as a wooden plank to the face? Sure, but what isn't nowadays.

Commotion of the Birds: New Poems, by John Ashbery - Commotion of the Birds is a pretty excellent late addition to Ashbery's bibliography, a marked improvement over the last couple collections he's published. Farewell!

Sing, Unburied, Sing, by Jesmyn Ward - Perhaps The Novel of 2017, I went in to Sing, Unburied, Sing with high expectations and they were more than met. Sing, Unburied, Sing has a sense of unruly and unbridled weirdness that would make the whole southern canon proud. It is both a magisterial account of the historical traumas lodged in a family, and specifically an African-American family, as well as a bouncy novel about the worst car trip you can imagine. Basically, it contains multitudes and you should read it

Mephistos and Other Poems, by Michael McClure - These poems are good, but also the written equivalent of someone alternately whispering and SHOUTING in your ear.

Sourdough, by Robin Sloan - Another dopey but extremely readable little novel from Robin Sloan focusing on some subcommunity at the juncture of art and commerce, this time about the high-stakes and quirky world of the San Francisco culinary scene. Sourdough is light and airy (one could say, like a well-baked bread) and that can work to its advantage; it's relatively witty and intelligent about its subject matters, such as technology, cooking, and industry. Chew a little bit deeper though, and you'll find an unsettling lack of texture at the core of this novel. There's just not a whole lot going on to give you the sense of a larger world or operating logic, a more complete personality or message. In that way, the novel itself is weirdly similar to the mushy, synthetic foods that people keep generating within its pages: definitely edible and pitched at a mobile, knowledgeable class of consumers, but not quite as satisfying as a truly good reading/eating experience.

Hemming Flames, by Colleen Patricia Murphy - A wonderful melding of tragic brutality and abrupt humor in this collection of poems, focusing on the ways that mental illnesses can completely dismantle a family. Raw, but not in a way that denies each poem an interesting formal structure.

The Brother, by Rein Raud - I don't know what it is about Rein Raud's rather stoic style, but I keep envisioning the movie versions of his novels. In the case of The Reconstruction, they would go toe-to-toe. Methinks that with The Brother, however, you could make a better movie than what the text is itself.

The Others, by Matthew Rohrer - Matthew Rohrer's The Others is a verse narrative that flits in and out of different stories to show the ways in which we interact with story-telling and myth-making on a daily basis. It's quite odd as a book- not that anything particularly weird happens within the narrative, but because it doesn't seem to concerned with making any big statements about its themes.

Of Mongrelitude, by Julian Talamantez Brolaski - This is a phenomenal collection of poetry that I know I'm underrating by giving it four stars. My only complaint is that Julian Talamantez Brolaski's style of writing in a sort of fusion of olde englishe, country-western cowpoke speak, and genderqueered conversational dialect became a bit overwhelming over the course of the collection, but that also attests to the utter magnitude of the collection. Each poem is deserving of intense critical discussion and dissection, but don't let that make you think that they aren't enjoyable, too. Of Mongrelitude is thoroughly hilarious and biting.

Other Men’s Daughters, by Richard Stern - This is an extremely well-written, intelligent, and compassionate book, and it also may not exactly be the best year for it to have been reissued, considering the power dynamic at play. Sorry for the poor timing, NYRB!

Chemistry, by Weike Wang - Academic Novel (and a science one, not humanities, too boot!) as a journey to the end of the psyche. Worth checking out!

Let it Bleed: Essays 1985-1995, by Gary Indiana - Indiana's writing is both a sharper scalpel and a heavier mallet than you could find nowadays, but a lot of the types of essays presented in this collection have been a bit outmoded since. In some cases, that could be seen as prescience (his essay on the retirement of Johnny Carson reads like it could be a post-Weinstein indictment of the masculine enterainment industry) while other times they can be a bit cruel (his travelogues to EuroDisney and Branson are fun, guilty eviscerations of low culture, but someone like DFW is better at understanding both why those places are evil AND alluring to people). Overall, this is a standout essay collection, and I'm excited to dig into one of his novels next to get a fully rounded picture of Gary Indiana.

Sun in Days: Poems, by Meghan O’Rourke - When you read a poem from Meghan O'Rourke's collection Sun in Days, you'll probably know what the poem is 'about,' i.e. the death of her mother or her attempts at having a child, the two main topics she bravely confronts here, and there is plenty of verbal artistry at play in the construction of these conspicuous poems. Likewise, O'Rourke signposts much of the intertextual elements of the collection, whether it be to historical figures or to other works, but that doesn't much take away from their power.

Love and Information, by Caryl Churchill - This is upsetting!

The Doll’s Alphabet, by Camilla Grudova - This is a real up-and-down, but ultimately winning, collection of short stories by a writer I can't wait to read again. Grudova shows an excellent command of the certain type of magical-realist palette that she works with; some of the best stories here, such as 'The Agata Machine' and 'Hungarian Sprats' can flip that palette over and show you all the dimensions of her writing. There are a few stories, however, that are a little too pat to completely work (I'm also just not a huuge fan of this type of pomo fabulist stuff most of the time). I would look at a story like 'Waxy' to illustrate both the strengths and weaknesses of Grudova at this point in her career. In 'Waxy,' Grudova presents a well-developed rendering of an Atwoodian feminist dystopian world in which women labor in service of men, who are constantly taking 'exams,' and not working or contributing to society in a meaningful way. While this world is indeed interesting, the story itself feels like the precis of a larger narrative; there's just not a lot going on outside of the actual setting-up of the set-up. In that way, I'm almost more excited to read a novel from Grudova than another collection of stories. All in all, there's a lot of talent and good ideas at work here.

The Gift, by Barbara Browning - Barbara Browning's The Gift is the rambling, autofictional, intellectual novel about dancing, connecting, sex, gender, and disability of the year. A pleasure to behold on every single page.

Madness, by sam sax - sam sax knows just how far to bring every metaphor he uses in this collection so it is the ideal balance of complexity and readability. Madness is an impressive calling card of a debut collection.

The Iliac Crest, by Cristina Rivera Garza - A somewhat perplexing ghost story about gender and borders. I'll need to revisit this one another time or two in the future to figure out how I really feel about it.