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dojunie · 9 months ago

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MISDIAL; LJN [CH5] VOICEMAIL REDUX

[★]; [MISDIAL MASTERLIST] [PREVIOUS PART] [NEXT PART]

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lee jeno x fem!reader

college au

chaptered

very slow burn

genre; not-quite-friends to lovers, older brother mark lee, brothers best friend lee jeno, light angst, yn is a menace to society, story/character driven

warnings for this chapter; kys mention in joking manner

chapter wc: ...13K

a/n: i couldn't decide between posting this monster whole or cutting it into two parts, but two parts kind of makes the pacing weird, so here she is in all her glory! been editing this so long that i've gotten sick of looking at it so im just going to release it into the world now LOL, pls pls pls give me feedback on this chapter, im not 100% satisfied w it but i cant tell if its because it sucks or i've just been rereading it too much 🥸

current tl: @hibernatinghamster / @jenoxygen / @eaglesnotravens / @donutswithjaminthemiddle / @jvjsssnaa / @huangrenhyucks / @luvenshiti / @shiningdery / @jaeminsbebu / @aliceinwhateverland / @bebsky / @gem-gem / @jkjkseo / @jenosbliss / @pewpewpwe00 / @ti–red / @philanarose / @softbbyg0rl / @aaasteroidsky / @carelessshootanonymous / @en-boyz / @jlsavyy / @roseymerrie / @bangchanisemo / @skuezk / @jaehyuns-adorable-dimples / @ourbeautifulaffair / @jeonnyread / @jvjsssnaa / @episkeyjeno / @bockhyun / @jenojammin / @zarastrawberry / @peachie-bear / @itadaramaterasu / @alymii / @cuteejeno / @episkeyjeno / @nohunlee / @ooojisoo / @luv4jeno / @jydivrs / @pinkysinnerbaby / @jenojenoyes / @maeyoung / @axmdocs / @nctzennikki09

FORGET WHAT YOU SAID ABOUT NEVER BEING ABLE TO GET MAD AT SOMI, BECAUSE THIS TIME, YOU’RE REALLY GOING TO KILL HER.

At this exact moment in time, the Aegon Showcase is set to begin in about fifteen minutes. You’ve got half of a chocolate muffin stuffed into your mouth (courtesy of Somi sneaking a few snacks from the audience lounge, since the dancers technically weren’t supposed to be eating any of the guest refreshments), and you were about halfway through swallowing this chunk of bread when Somi said something that made you nearly choke.

For context: six and a half days have passed since you’ve last spoken to Jeno.

And you haven’t been counting, either. It just so happens that it is surprisingly easy to recall every passing minute when each one feels like it’s been put there specifically to test you.

The afternoon after the Balcony Incident, for example— a few fresh hours after you left Lee Jeno behind on that overlook with the full intention of never looking him in the eyes ever again. After a late breakfast with Somi you’d told her you weren’t feeling too well, that you’d be leaving a little earlier than planned (which, even though you’d said your pain was of the intestinal variety, wasn’t untrue; you didn’t feel well, if the widening pit in your stomach caused by that morning was anything to go by) and departed her penthouse a little after one.

You’d foolishly hoped that Jeno and his entourage would have plans literally anywhere other than Mark’s place for once, wanting to do nothing but silently mope around the apartment for a few hours once you'd gotten home, but you’d been naive.

You’d been so, so naive.

“Oh!” you’d heard. Renjun. Brown hair, big dark eyes peeking at you around the doorframe as you cradled your now-aching nose bridge. You opened the front door and crashed face first into something solid. “Hey, you. Perfect timing. Do you wanna come grocery shopping with us? Jaemin’s cooking tonight!”

“We’ll even let you ride in the cart,” Chenle chimed in from further into the hallway, grinning wickedly, but you couldn’t focus on either of them because they were both half-hidden behind what you’d smashed into with your haste to get inside. No gray flannel this time, but the same unreadable expression on his face as he, much like he did at the party last night, instinctively grabbed you to keep you from falling on your ass.

(Or his expression was unreadable. Until his eyes trained on something about your face that he didn’t like and his dark eyebrows furrowed with something akin to concern. Then you remembered you’d been crying all morning and surely looked like some sort of dried-out blowfish, eyelids puffy and swollen, so you averted your eyes and jumped out of his grip like he’d stung you.)

“Busy,” you told them quickly, “Sorry. Not today.”

Renjun pouted. Chenle squinted at you, obviously doubtful. And when Jeno finally moved out of the way, you didn’t even thank him for keeping you upright. You just kept your attention on the ground and beelined into the apartment.

Little did you know, that one word would become your mantra. Busy, busy, busy. But it wasn’t like you were completely lying, because you were busy. The Aegon showcase was in a week which meant you had practice every free hour with Somi and the others, and the last thing you needed was to get distracted by circling Jeno like some kind of sad, miserable shark. The good thing about being out of the house so often was that most of the week passed with no more Jeno-related incidents.

Thursday night ended up being the first time you’d seen him with your own eyes since you face-planted into him the previous Saturday.

You’d returned home at 10PM, sweaty and exhausted from a last minute choreo change that had, apparently, also wiped clean the memory of what Thursday nights meant in the Mark Lee household. Movie night. The tiredness you felt was so all-encompassing that upon the discovery of all seven of them sitting around the couch staring at you as you entered, there wasn’t even enough energy to feel awkward. Even then, you must not have looked as ghastly as you felt because Jaemin smiled at you like nothing was amiss, gesturing towards the dining table and the mountain of brown bags atop it.

“You’re late, Rockstar. Take-out’s gone cold.”

Jeno was sitting right next to him. Your muscles were like jelly. All of your bones hurt. Your brain felt like it was operating on nothing but fumes. (And this is what you blamed for your cowardice— the fact that you couldn’t even hold your head up to look in his direction in fear of catching his eye.)

After everyone had gone home and you had free reign of the kitchen once again, Mark hit you with a few more questions about the Aegon Comp; seemingly insignificant inquiries like how the parking situation was (which you didn’t understand the importance of, since he said he’d probably ride his bike there), and if he could sit wherever he wanted (which again, confused you, because the ticke you’d gotten him was one of the best in house). But in your state of fatigue you didn’t think to question it. All you wanted to do was eat something and go to bed, and that’s exactly what you did.

(If you’d had your wits about you maybe you’d have put two and two together. Maybe Somi’s words wouldn’t have caught you with the surprise they did. But as it stands…)

As it stands it’s Friday afternoon, the day of the Aegon Showcase, and half a chocolate muffin is stuffed into your face (technically now stuffed into your airway) as you come to the realization that your friend might secretly be trying to ruin your life.

“You really need to stop eating your food so fast,” Jiara murmurs, clapping you on the back with a little more force than necessary. “No one is going to take it from you. Smaller bites will go a long way.”

You gasp a breath when the chunk finally unsticks. Then, “You saw who in the audience lounge?”

Somi is nonplussed by your horror.

“I saw your brother out there trying to throw a skittle over a lighting fixture and still catch it in his mouth. When I was leaving with our food I think I heard a bunch of people cheer so I’d bet he managed to do it, which, when you think about how high these ceilings are, is actually pretty impressive—”

You fight the urge to grab her by her shoulders and shake her. “I’m not asking about the goddamn skittles!” you hiss. “Somi, you said you saw ‘them’ when you went out there. Them as in plural. Who is them?”

She makes a face like you should already know who. “Who else? Mark and the rest of his crew. And Donghyuck asked to bring a few more, so I guess those are who the other guys out there are. Why are you acting like you didn’t already know this? You were sitting right next to me when Donghyuck was practically begging to come!”

Your life flashes before your eyes.

Jeno’s car. The rain, pounding against the windows. Catching him looking at you in the mirror after Somi told them about the showcase, how it felt like the world outside faded away a little as some little message passed between you— when you felt like he was telling you something without saying a single word.

Then you remember it. In your distant, distant periphery, even though she’d been sitting not even a millimeter to your left when these alleged plans were discussed.

‘Yeah! I mean, I reserved like, a bajillion seats in advance because I knew I’d want to invite everyone who would even consider coming— I’ll definitely get the best row for you guys!’

“However,” she says after a beat, voice finally starting to show the tiniest bit of caution. You realize that your face has begun to contort on its own. “I am starting… to get vibes. That I maybe should have run that by you first? Would now be a bad time to let you know that I told them about the afterparty, too?”

Utter disbelief. The only reason you don’t leap on her once you fully comprehend what she’s said is because Gawon, who’d been watching this entire exchange with quiet brown eyes, puts a hand on your shoulder. She must be able to tell that you’re about to start freaking out, because her therapist-voice is fully activated when she clears her throat.

“Can I ask what's so surprising about this?” she asks carefully. “When we were telling Aegon about how many tickets we each wanted, you said you only needed one. For your brother, right?”

You thought of the ticket, the little envelope you’d held under your pillow for weeks as you fought with the idea of actually giving it to Mark. In the end, a few days ago, when you handed it to him and told him he could come watch you perform if he wanted to, he smiled so big that you felt bad for waiting so long in the first place. But you’d then quickly explained the caveat: that he was not to tell any of the others about it, because there was only one ticket and you didn’t want them hassling you about getting more. And Mark agreed.

Which is why you’d dared to assume that tonight would be safe.

“Yes,” you mutter. “The ticket was for him.”

“Which means you’re not surprised he’s here. So are his friends the problem?”

“The problem?”

You pause. That word makes it seem like their appearance here is actually detrimental to you in some way, like they’re just here to hassle or bully you or something, but that’s not really it at all. Your annoyance at them being here is rooted in the exact opposite. They’re not going to joke around and take it easy, or pat you on the back and tell you that you did well, like how they would if they’d come to watch one of their friends dance. They’re going to swarm you and coo and treat you like a five year old that just stumbled through their first ballet recital.

And as if that isn't bad enough, you realize with a start that you've actually got more to worry about than just being embarrassed by their innate need to baby you.

They, you remember yet again. Plural.

You quickly fix your doomsday-esque expression. "Uh. No, no problem, just... I'm over-exaggerating, forget it, Somi, when you said they, how many are we talking exactly?"

"Seven," she says, like it's the most obvious thing in the world, and you fight to keep your shoulders from sagging. "The three from the car, your brother, and three others I don't really know as well, but who're all just as cute."

Seven. Which means Lee Jeno will be in the audience as well. You should've already known that, fully aware that wherever Mark goes Jeno will follow, but you'd been so startled by the change in attendance that you'd momentarily forgotten that you were pointedly avoiding one of that seven.

Great.

A click echoes over the announcement system. You recognize the voice that follows as the organizer of the showcase, the cheerful woman from the promotional video, happily informing all the performers to head to their greenrooms for final warm-ups before the show.

Well. Even if you wanted to mope for longer about your predicament, your mind switches lanes to the task at hand. Somi and Gawon both titter excitedly at the update, but make sure to quickly give their final reassurances about not worrying too much about the people in the audience and using that energy to give your all on stage. They’re right of course, and you probably would have come to this conclusion on your own once you swallowed your knee-jerk reaction to gripe about everything involving your brother and his friends, but you can’t say that their enthusiasm doesn't do the heavy lifting of bringing you back to earth.

You've got a competition to rock, after all. You could worry about everything else after.

Adrenaline made the hour-long showcase go by in what seemed like fifteen seconds.

Just like that, a short chapter of your life closed with a bang; seven minutes on the stage, deafening cheers, Jiara and Guyeon pulling everyone into one big sweaty hug as soon as you were all out of the spotlight— then you blink and you’re in Gawon’s car with the windows down blasting down Gangnam on the way to Somi’s house, the girls in the seats around you singing along to the radio at the top of their lungs. The sun is setting, you’re heading to your celebratory afterparty, and what should be a picture-perfect moment is completely ruined by the fact that your mind has been in shambles for the last hour and a half. Why?

Because as you inch closer and closer to Somi’s penthouse, all you can think about is the fact that Lee Jeno is sitting up there biding his time before he can stomp your heart into a million more microscopic pieces.

What you didn’t mention about the moments after the performance was that, after rushing through changing out of your performance outfit to find your friends and get the hell out of there, you stumbled out of the greenroom to find a person. A person who was frowning out in the corridor like some sort of mopey ghost, Jeno in all his annoyingly perfect glory, caught mid-pace.

Upon seeing him your body rebooted, a hundred different emotions flashing through your system from the shock of him appearing in front of you at that moment. The only thing you had time to notice before his words ruined the rest of your afternoon was how… fidgety he was; Running his hand through his hair, rocking from foot to foot, crossing and uncrossing his arms over his chest. You’d always taken note of how still Jeno could be sometimes, not moving an inch for seemingly hours at a time, which was the main reason his current inability to stay still even caught your eye— but it was quickly overtaken by the utter despair you felt not soon after he caught sight of you and opened his mouth.

“Can we talk?” he’d asked. And he’d sounded so unsure of himself that you almost instantly crumbled to the puppy-dog eyes, before reality grabbed you by the neck and you remembered that talking to him was actually the last thing you wanted to be doing right now.

“Busy,” you’d forced out. “My friends are waiting for me outside.”

But he must’ve seen this coming because he looked nonplussed as you took a step back, his own feet matching yours stride for stride, hands coming out almost as if to calm you like one might a spooked horse.

“It won’t take longer than a few minutes,” he tried, “Five minutes, just five. I just— I really, really want to clarify a few things from Saturday. What I said on the balcony.”

He said it like there was a chance you might’ve forgotten what happened, which almost made you laugh in disbelief. Like it was possible to forget that shitshow, your first love telling you that he was kind of interested in you once upon a time, but did nothing about it because your brother came first. Though, once you fully realized that he meant he wanted to talk about that right now, the moment lost its humor.

Now? Here? You glanced up and down the hallway. Your friends weren’t around, nor were his, but you were hardly alone.

“I wasn’t being entirely—”

“You're going to the party, aren’t you?” You cut Jeno off. Very unlike you when it came to him, and with the way he blinked you had a feeling he knew that too.

“The party?”

“Somi said she invited you guys.”

“I— I wasn't sure you wanted me to come.”

“Somi invited you, Lee. Is that any way to treat your hostess? We can—” You swallowed. “Come by, and we can find a minute to talk then, but for now I really—”

“Have to go,” he finished with a small wince. “Got it.”

And once he’d metaphorically let you go, taking a step back to slip his hands in his pockets, you’d all but run away; finding Guyeon and Gawon waiting for you like they said they’d be, ready to leave and head to Alice’s house to pretty-up for the party in her gigantic flat. You were trying your best to keep up the energy when you got into the car with them, laughing along to their jokes and dancing along to the music, but you couldn’t stop thinking of what type of curbstomp Jeno was about to release on the suffering remains of your sixteen year-old feelings.

Even up until the final touches of your make-up, you were commiserating. What the hell could he possibly want to clarify?

Was he going to tell you to stop being weird around him and the others, because your mood was fucking up their vibe? To stop avoiding him so obviously, that it was as noticeable for everyone as it felt for you, that it was making it awkward for him?

Or could he mean that he was going to tell you he’d… misspoken? That he’d never really liked you the way you liked him, and didn’t want you to misunderstand— by interested in you he meant in the way all guys were interested in all girls, some lowly, surface level thing that he quickly got over when he realized his friendship with your brother could be jeopardized by it?

The last thought had stung a little more than the others, and you’d accidentally frowned so hard about it that it creased your still-setting concealer and had to wipe it all off.

After angrily redoing your base you’d forced it from your mind and got dressed, stealing a simple henley dress from Gawon’s closet upon realizing that you were not in the mood for sexy-cute like Somi had said the dress code was. Instead you opted for ‘hey, you can see my legs and that's good enough,’ and huffed your old leather jacket on top of it; the latter was sure to piss her off but she still owed you from the Mosquito Boy Incident, so she could kick rocks about it for all you cared.

You had a feeling that no matter what you wore, tonight wasn’t going to be very sexy-cute at all.

The party is just getting into the swing of things when you make it upstairs. It’s like the explosion of a birthday surprise when you and the girls walk through the door. This party is technically a celebration, and you guess a lot of these people must’ve been in the Aegon audience without you knowing it, because you’re getting congratulations and kudos and pats on the back like you’ve just won an olympic medal.

But your pride is short lived, tainted by a bolt of nerves when you think you spot someone that looks like Donghyuck in your periphery. Where Hyuck is, Jeno will be.

It turns out to only be a very tall girl with a pixie cut who winks at you when you whirl your head to her, but the stress of it doesn't ebb away. God. Is the whole night going to be like this? Walking on pins and needles until he finds you?

“You know, new girl,” A voice starts at your side, startling you further, “Your ice breaker back at that my party could’ve been that you’re a kick-ass dancer, instead of that bullshit with the mosquitos.”

Wooyoung. Your friends are suddenly nowhere to be seen when your turn to him, clearly having fucked off into the mass the second alcohol became available, so it’s just the both of you hovering over by this snack table. Though this is only the second or third time you’ve interacted with him past a greeting (you see him sometimes on campus, and he always waves at you like you’re best friends when you pass each other), you’re actually rather soothed by his presence.

“You wanted to know juicy secrets, not secret hobbies. If you asked me for an ice breaker and I told you I could dance, you would’ve kicked me out of that house.”

He laughs, a snickering sound, before eyeing two jello-shots a girl walks by with in her hands.

“Do a shot with me?” he pouts. “My friends are running late and I’m still painfully sober.”

A shot?

...Hm. A shot. Inebriation. You’re not one to like straight liquor because the burn in your throat is often more than you think the gag is worth. But if you’re looking to relax sooner rather than later… the pain might not be without its merit.

Liquid courage. Something you could definitely use right now, as skittish as you’re being. Maybe he’s onto something.

“Just one?” you pique, turning to survey the options. “Thought you were more hardcore than that, VP.”

One jello-shot quickly turns into four with Wooyoung involved, and your mouth is sweet with the taste of artificial dye by the time you actually spot Donghyuck, over by Somi’s balcony doors chatting up some pretty girl you recognize from your physical education class. The volleyball player. Xiaoting or something close, and you almost snort at the sight because she seems way out of his league. But he has a way with words that you guess you could be attractive when he wields it with flirtation in mind, instead of the intent to piss off like he always does with you.

The Smirnoff burning in your stomach must already be settling in because you only mildly bristle when you see him. Like you thought earlier: Hyuck is here, which means Jeno is here. And… and the Smirnoff must’ve already hit your brain, actually, because all of a sudden you’re feeling agitated and confrontational.

You don’t want to spend all night worrying about when he’s going to find you and drop the bomb. So what if he doesn’t like you! So what if he probably wants to forget the moment that happened out on that balcony never occurred at all? You lived your life without yearning over Jeno for years before you moved back here, so it won’t even be that hard to go cold-turkey when he says what he needs to and inevitably squashes the remainder of your heart in his fist. It’s fine. You’ll live.

You just need to rip it off like a bandaid first. And to do that?

“Hey, Woo, I think I need to go and look for somebody. You’re still down for that dance battle later?”

“I don’t play around with my challenges,” he says, grinning much too wide, “I’ll find you later, and then it’s on. Knock em’ dead, new girl.”

As bold as you suddenly are, you actually don’t want to go and interrupt whatever Donghyuck has going on just to ask him where Jeno is. So you’re on your own for a little, scanning the walls for him and the stupid clavicles poking out of his button-up, hair all windswept and eyes so dark. It’s nearly a minute of searching before you see something familiar— but it’s not exactly what you’re looking for.

Close enough, though.

It seems like Na Jaemin has actually spotted you first, since he’s already heading towards you when you spot his head of pink darting through the crowd. You don’t fuss when he musses your hair and gasps over the competition, applauding you in that sickeningly earnest way he always has, since you’re used to his preening and compliments. Not to say you’re not appreciative. It always makes your face hot when he coos over you like this. But you’ve got a mission in mind, and fretting at him over the pouting and cheek-squeezing will get you nowhere.

“Yes, thank you, I did hear you cheering over everyone else at the end, no I wasn’t hiding my swag from you on purpose, thank you, you can stop pretending to cry now. Where is Jeno?”

The idea of you looking for Lee Jeno on purpose must startle him, because there’s a second after his clear offense at you brushing him off where he registers what you’re asking for and actually looks a little concerned. “Jeno? No-Jam? Why? Did he say something to you?”

“What? No, I just need to talk to him about something. Thought he’d be hanging around you.”

Imperceptibly, Jaemin lightens.

“Oh. He’s downstairs hefting handles out of Somi’s car, because blondie forgot half the drinks in her trunk. He got volunteered by Chenle as Mr. Muscles and left with her like five minutes ago, so he should be back any minute.”

Damn it. Forlornly, you glance at the door, but there's nothing. No movement. Nada. There goes all your building bravado.

“But before he returns, young lady, should we talk about how that red tinge to your lips better be from the non-alcoholic jello-shots?”

Ah. Whoops. Not only no movement, but now you’ve gotten yourself trapped in the sights of Na Jaemin, who likes to pretend to be staunch on things like laws and teenage innocence and waiting to do things until the government says you’re allowed to. You constantly forget that you’re not yet the drinking age, because no college student handing out drinks at a party ever gives a fuck about the fact that you’re legally not quite legal yet. No other college student besides the one standing in front of you.

“You’ll stunt your growth if you drink before you’re supposed to!”

To this you glance at the cup he’s holding, clearly half full of something, and nearly go to laugh and ask him what his excuse is since he’s barely 21 himself, but then you think of something funnier. Without really thinking about it you snatch the cup from his hand and hork it down. Your eyes are locked with his the entire time so you get to see his surprise grow into shock, then expand into disbelief as you chug, and chug, and chug.

There’s a lot of… some peach flavored crap in here, burning like murder all the way down, to the point that you’re more bewildered than smug when the cup is finally drained because, “Fuck, Na, what is that shit? Are you trying to black out?”

“Language!” he hisses, genuinely startled for the first time you’ve seen in a long time, which makes you laugh, “And of course not because that wasn’t mine, you little brat! I was holding that for Somi!"

“Oh,” you reply, only mildly shifted by this news. Sorry, Som. Now you know it must be peach Schnapps. She loves Schnapps. “What, so you’re not drinking tonight at all? Are you DD?”

“No! I’m not drinking, and I’m offended that you don’t already know I hate the taste of alcohol. Mark, who may I remind you is in this room and would’ve just shit himself if he’d seen what you just did, is playing designated driver tonight! He’s…”

And as he glances towards the kitchen you follow his gaze. You’re expecting to see your brother, most likely laughing over something his friends are saying, maybe even trying to dance-battle someone if he's having a particularly good time. Instead you see your brother chatting up Jeon Soyeon.

Jeon… Soyeon. Nabi Bar, Jeon Soyeon. Who you haven’t spoken to or even seen since that awful night in Gangnam.

And you nearly gasp in terror at the sight.

Jaemin doesn't finish his sentence, and you dart your eyes to him when you realize this. He doesn’t look very pleased by what he’s seeing either, though you’re guessing for an entirely different reason than the one that’s just made you go cold.

“What?” you ask a little too quickly. The front door opens, which should be your cue to look for who’s just come in, but you can’t tear your eyes from the sight of Soyeon and Mark. What the fuck? What the fuck? “Do they know each other?”

“Know each other?” Jaemin scoffs. “Hard to quantify.”

It would be very, very bad for you if they knew each other. Very bad. If not already clear, Mark still had no clue you weren’t where you said you were on the night of Nabi Bar. If she happened to mention your involvement in that shity, shitty idea, you had no doubt that Mark would go all holier-than-thou on you in front of all these people, and that you’d probably have to dive off of the balcony to escape the reaming.

He doesn’t look particularly comfortable, near pressed up against kitchen island because Soyeon is so close to him, hand rubbing at the back of his neck in that way you’re well aware means he’s getting flustered; but you see him laugh at something she says in the next second, and it doesn’t seem like his fake laugh. Mark’s fake laugh is terrible, and even from a distance you can spot it like the flashing lights on an ambulance, a beacon of distress just the same. So he’s laughing for real, at something… Soyeon is saying?

But you hardly recall her being very funny.

“What does that mean, hard to quantify? Do they have history?”

“Something like that,” he murmurs. “Nothing you need to worry your pretty little head about. Anyway, I think Jeno is—”

“You never look at anyone with any kind of attitude, and just now you rolled your eyes at her.”

“I didn’t roll my eyes. I blinked. For a long time. Something in my eye. Dusty in here.”

“Somi has this place deep cleaned twice a week.”

He stares at you like he’s begging you to drop it. You stare back, unwilling. “You know, Na, the longer you stall, the more time that all this illegal alcohol in my blood has to make me more bold and reckless and unruly. If I don’t get an answer from you I might just go over there and ask her myself. How do they know each other?”

You’re bluffing, of course— there’s no way you’re about to go over there just to see what they’re talking about when you could safely squeeze that information out of Jaemin instead. In reality, you were only pressing because you wanted to know if they were close enough for Soyeon to know you and Mark were related. If not? Then perfect! You’d forget it all and be on your merry way, reverting back to your original plan of finding Jeno, because there’d be no chance Soyeon could spill the beans.

But if Soyeon does know? You might have to leave this party a little earlier than scheduled.

“You want the whole, grown-up truth?” Jaemin finally relents.

“Might I remind you for the hundredth time that I’m only a year younger than you?”

“A year and a half,” he acquiesces with a sigh, “And Jeon Soyeon may or may not have slept with your brother to get him to do their midterm project last year.”

It comes out like he’s reading the headline from a newspaper and you made the mistake of swallowing right before he opens his mouth, choking violently on your own spit. He pats you on the back as you hack and cough before continuing.

“None of us are really sure about exactly what really happened because Mark kind of shut down after, wouldn’t tell us anything. But it was pretty clear he liked her before. She’s kinda his type, you know?”

Edgy, pretty, and fucking evil, yeah, after having to chase a few of them away in high school you’re well aware of his type! This was not what you wanted to know about when you asked if they were close! What the hell?

“He told us they’d gone all the way right before she asked him to do their entire music production project because she was too busy caring for her sick little sister. He, being the bleeding heart he is, pretty much refused to listen to us about how convenient the timing was; he even got mad when Chenle did some sleuthing and found out that Soyeon’s parents facebook, which was filled to the brim of photos of their family, didn’t have any trace of another kid in their midst besides her. Wouldn’t believe us until after the project was turned in, when he tried to meet up with her for weeks and she ghosted him every time.”

He frowns. “At the end of it, he wasn’t… It wasn’t good. He was pretty crushed.”

Now you regret chugging his drink for fun. Even before it you’d been feeling further than chill, pleasant and buzzing from your shots, well prepared for whatever hell was to arise with Jeno. Now you felt loose; too loose, fingertips tingling at your sides because of this news, heart pounding in your chest, body so warm from the alcohol that you felt like Jaemin would hiss if he’d laid a finger on your skin.

To play games with you, that’s one thing. But Soyeon has laid her hands on your brother?

“And, knowing all of that,” you say slowly, clearly, “You’re still letting him sit there and talk to her?”

“I want to kick her away,” Jaemin says flatly. “I’d be lying if I said I trust that girl as far as I can throw her. But it’s not really up to us to get involved.”

“Who is us?”

“His friends? I mean he was pretty clear when it happened that he did not want to talk about it—”

You bark a laugh, but there’s no humor to it at all. “So he can pout and gripe about the sanctity of discussing your problems with people, the embarrassing, the horrifying, but when it comes to him he gets to keep secrets? Forget how hypocritical that is, you guys are listening?”

Jaemin, finally, seems to catch the heat in your words. “Uh. He told… I mean, before you get all up in arms, she may be over there apologizing for all we know. Maybe she’s repenting.”

You both stare at her as she tips her head back in laughter, the salacious flirty kind where you’re more focused on being attractive than actually enjoying the joke, before she puts her hand on his chest in a, ‘Wow, you’re so funny, take me now,’ kind of way, leaning in to say something to him that she clearly doesn’t want anyone else to hear. Every hair on your body stands up when Mark doesn’t push her away.

He’s not seriously buying her shit again, is he?

“Jaemin, are you willing to bet your life on that?”

“What?”

“Everything you just said about Soyeon. You know that for fact?”

“Well, no, Mark didn’t actually tell us about it so I can never be sure, but… but with what we could gather, it was pretty cut and dry. Chenle actually also found out she had a boyfriend at the same time she did all that stuff with Mark. We just couldn’t bear to tell him that after the fact, so we never… Hey, where—”

You’re sober enough to make it through the throng of people without stumbling, but not sober enough to fully anticipate what you’re really about to do. The goal is just to separate them, somehow, to get that harlot away from your brother, and then you’ll go and deal with Jeno. If people greet you as you pass you don’t hear or see it; all you can grasp is her, touching him, laughing with him, cheating, lying, people-using—

“Mark,” you nearly hiss, “I need to talk to you. Now.”

Mark jumps a foot in the air when you grab him but Soyeon, for some reason, doesn’t look surprised to see you in the slightest. She does, however, raise a sharp blonde eyebrow at your tone.

“What,” Mark splutters, “Right now?”

“Yeah,” Soyeon sighs, continuing to trail her eyes up and down Mark’s face instead of looking at you, “The grown-ups are talking, sweetheart. Can’t you give us a second?”

Mark turns back to the sensual softness of her voice like a moth to a flame, and you want to smack him. “No. Not a second now, not a second later, not a second tomorrow or forever. Now, Mark.”

And that was where you made the mistake that turned this whole night sour. Only when Soyeon realizes it’s her you have a problem with, catching on from the agitation in your tone that you’re not just here to bother Mark for fun, does she slide her unreadable gaze to you.

“You know I haven’t seen you in a while, Little Lee.”

“For the better,” you mutter. “Seriously—”

“I was so surprised when Yuqi told me you two were related.”

She’s talking to Mark but looking at you, eyes squinted a little, like someone analyzing a germ under a microscope. So she does know. Great. “I couldn’t believe that this girl was the same little star you used to tell me about when I met her. She’s grown up a lot, you know? Doesn’t take after you at all, Markie.”

“Soyeon,” you say again, “Let him go.”

“Why? So you can keep throwing your tantrum? Every time you open your mouth it gets harder and harder to see the resemblance. When you’re so…”

She doesn’t need to say it, and it’s honestly probably better that she didn’t, because you would’ve leapt at her if she’d gone as far as she’d been intending to dig with that comment. You’re aware you don’t resemble Mark, physically or otherwise— in accomplishment, in talent, in patience, in perfect unmarred reputation. You’re well fucking aware.

“Soyeon,” Mark finally says, thankfully lurching a little in your direction like her evil witch's spell is finally wearing off, “I don’t think there’s any need for that, what the hell is going on? Do you two know each other?”

Soyeon opens her eyes comically wide. “You don’t know?”

And you feel Mark stop. What the hell are you doing, you want to scream. Why are you even pausing for this bullshit? Come on! But he doesn’t. He stands there and he stares at her, as if searching her face for any sign of truth, and Soyeon takes this as her cue.

“Little star is a big girl now! Her own fake ID, clinging along with her baby bottle to any club the adults want to go to, even catching her own ride home with any wasted guy that smiles in her direction! Don’t you live together? What a handful she must be if she can sneak out under your nose, Markie.”

The blood rushing in your ears makes it hard to tell if it’s only you that’s losing your hearing or if the rest of the people hanging around in the kitchen really have quieted to watch the rising altercation, but you don’t dare move your eyes from the girl to check. The baby bottle comment, outing your fake ID, all of that is rage inducing on its own— but it’s a cold, stomach twisting madness that grabs you when you latch on to the last part of what she’s just said. Catching your own ride home?

Was she referring to Yoobin?

Your fingers unfurl from Mark’s jacket.

“What do you mean, catch my own ride?”

Soyeon laughs. Under normal circumstances, it would be a pretty sound. “Did you think we didn’t see you leave? Blowing up our phones like there was some big emergency— We sent that guy out there to keep you the company you wanted so much, God, we got tired of babysitting you. You stopped calling and neither of you came back inside. What, cause your brother is here you’re going to try and soften it up now, huh? Tell us all you didn’t go home with that drunkard, when you love to tell people you’re no stranger to a bar?”

Yoobin, who grabbed you, touched you, tried to drive you home in his wasted state with clear intentions on what he wanted in return.

Yoobin, who Soyeon and Yuqi and their friends had sent, knowing you were panicked, knowing he made you uncomfortable, knowing you were looking for them.

Soyeon who stopped hearing from you and laughed it off. Soyeon who stopped hearing from you for days and didn’t bat an eye, knowing what she’d left you alone with.

Soyeon, who’s straight, pretty nose cracks under your fist in the same way Yoobin’s did, except this time you don’t run away when she screams and collapses and you realize what you’ve done. Except this time you hit her again— or you try to at least, lunging for her with your eyes ablaze, unsure what you’ll do when you get there but 100% sure it’ll hurt worse than a bloody fucking nose— but don’t quite get there, because someone has lifted you off the ground, two iron-bar arms wrapped like vices around your ribs, the worlds tightest back hug.

In your right mind you might’ve placed the sandalwood and the bergamot, or recognized the rolled up sleeves of his oversized button up, ivory and forest green, but as it stood—

As it stood, as you shouted and thrashed and fought, you only made out one thing.

Mark Lee, your own brother, helping Jeon Soyeon to her feet, two hands firm on her arms to hold her up; his surprised voice the last thing you hear before Lee Jeno hauls you out of that house.

“Wow, Soyeon. Is that true?”

(”Rockstar is going to wallop that girl,” Donghyuck mutters, staring at you like they all are from behind the pillar separating the kitchen from the living room, alerted to the worsening confrontation by a sheepish Jaemin.

“No she won’t," Jaemin tries, clearly feeling guilty, "She knows better than that.”

“She’s gone still. And I’ve never, ever seen her eyes that wide before.”

“That’s control. It’s restraint. She’s not going to hit her.”

Renjun, then, “If you really believe that then why do you look so nervous?”

“Her fist is balled up,” Jisung comments quietly.

“It’s restraint!”

“You weren’t there the day that she knocked the socks off of Park Gyubin, right? When he tried lifting her friend’s skirt up in the cafeteria?”

“She…” Jaemin glances at Donghyuck, “She’s tried to fight men before?”

“Tried to? I thought she was going to kill him. Y/N hit him so hard he had to get his retainer refitted. She’s got a right hook like her brothers. I bruise when she hits me, you know.”

Renjun again, “Why do you sound so proud of that?”

“She… Well, no, look, look! She let go of Mark. They have to be deescalating, she—”

“Does deescalating usually involve getting closer to the object of your anger?” Jisung asks.

“She—”

“Here it comes,” Chenle announces excitedly.

And then Jeno is across the room.)

Jeno realizes before you do that you’re not going back home tonight.

His apartment looks the same. Obviously. It’s only been three weeks since you were last here. Like before, Jeno doesn’t bother with the lights, kicking his shoes off in the entryway the same way, except this time you have two shoes of your own to place next to them instead of the sad and lonely single. Three weeks ago, but it feels like it’s only been a day or two since you did this whole song and dance; following him to the bathroom, sitting on the counter as he stoops under to rummage through his first-aid bin, gritting your teeth when he rubs your knuckles with the antiseptic, smiling weakly when he apologizes for the sting.

You’d cried in his car.

When Jeno carried you out of Somi’s apartment you thought the stinging in your eyes was just discombobulated rage. But when he set you down on your feet in the elevator and you began to come down from the adrenaline high, the burning just intensified as you understood what just happened. You’d only been able to keep the tears at bay until he told you to put your seatbelt on in his passenger seat and it all became too real.

Though you’re not sober enough right now for it to feel like a problem yet, you know you’ll want to kill yourself tomorrow for allowing yourself to devolve in front of him like that no matter the circumstance. In the moment, you weren’t even entirely sure what you were crying about. Was it the craze of fury wearing off after punching Soyeon, and the jitters it left behind? Or the fact that even when Jeno was tugging you towards the elevator up there, you’d stood and waited for Mark to follow for nearly an entire minute, just for him to never come out?

You’d like to chalk it up to adrenaline and inebriation, but deep down you knew exactly what it was that had your eyes brimming with those tears.

He’d chosen Soyeon. The girl who’d lied to him, cheated with him, fucked him over for a grade and left you for dead on the streets of Gangnam, and he’d stayed in that house with her instead of coming out to check on you. And you weren’t really one to catastrophize, but how couldn’t that signal the definitive end of Mark putting up with your shit? The nail in the coffin of his patience with you?

You knew things had been rough lately with you moving in, the thread of butting heads over little things like curfews and the people you hung out with, but you hadn’t thought your relationship had deteriorated to the point that he’d ever… that he’d ever choose someone else. You’re his sister. No matter how mad he is, he’s supposed to choose you.

But he didn't. And in Lee Jeno’s passenger seat, like a giant baby, you cried about it.

In proper Y/N fashion the only thing that had chuffed you into sucking it all up and swallowing it into the depths of your soul never to be seen again, was Jeno’s building appearing on the horizon. The threat of him asking you if you’re alright and actually having to confront those feelings was terrifying enough to jar you out of your self pity.

But he hadn’t asked you about your red eyes. He hadn’t said anything, actually. He just tugged you out of the car and into the elevator. Herded you into his apartment. And tipped his head towards his bathroom just like before, except this time he was smiling. In the soft, polite kind of way that let you know he was well aware of what just transpired in his car, but was simply... letting it be.

(And you always knew Jeno was rather observant. But man, the thought behind that smile could’ve made you burst into tears all over again.)

On the counter, holding out your hand for the steps that would never come, you blinked back to the present when Jeno stopped at the healing salve. You’d been waiting for him to bust out the gauze again, already lamenting the next week of your life with the itchy fabric tight around your wrist, but all Jeno does is raise an eyebrow at you when you don’t hop off of the sink after he puts the kit away.

“What are you waiting for?” he asks.

You blink down at your hand, shiny with the balm, and then back up at him. “The rest of it.”

“The wrap? I didn’t think you needed it.”

“But that’s what you did last time I was here.”

“Because the last time you were here you didn’t know how to punch someone properly. It looked like you got her the right way this time. When I was tugging at that wrist in the elevator just now you hardly seemed to notice, when you could barely close your fist a few weeks ago.”

…Oh. Only as he mentions it do you roll your hand around in its socket, flexing your fingers under the bathroom light. Your knuckles look like shit, the newly forming bruises and angry skin, but it doesn’t actually ache like it did that night with Yoobin.

Well you’ll be damned. So straightening your wrist really does work.

“Oh,” you mumble. “I guess I don’t. Wasn’t really thinking about it.”

“Of course you weren’t. Probably thinking about what you wanted to eat, right?”

“What I— What?”

What you wanted to eat? When did you discuss that you were hungry?

“Heard your stomach grumbling in the car, so I’m assuming you haven’t eaten since before the competition. There’s a pizza place down the street that I think you’d like, a jajangmyeon shop too, but their delivery takes ages. It’s up to you.”

You stare at him, clearly not following. Jeno is relaying this to you like tonight was planned, as if it was always in the cards for you to be hanging out at his place tonight like a couple of pals, leaning against the door with his arms crossed, the perfect picture of normalcy. He thinks you’re going to be here long enough to eat? He’s not planning to have you shipped out of here in the next half hour?

But then you realize that there isn’t really another place for you to be shipped to. Mark’s apartment is… not really an option. The idea of going back there tonight almost makes your stomach roll, actually.

But if you don’t go back, that doesn’t leave much in the realm of locations to hide out at. Somi’s brother is coming home tonight, she’d squealed as much this morning, and considering how rare it is that he’s not busy in other countries you abhor the idea of intruding on their reunification. You don’t have many other friends here that you’re close enough with to just show up at their place at 10PM unannounced, not that you’d want to given that your little spat with Soyeon is probably all over everyones instagram stories right now, and is surely the only thing they’ll want to talk about.

You don’t have very many options right now. And Jeno probably knew that from the moment he decided to bring you here.

“Thinking pretty hard over there,” Jeno hums, “for what is supposed to be a two choice question. Unless you don’t want either?”

“Pizza is… fine.”

“Just fine, or actually good? I can check to see if there’s any—”

“It’s good, Lee.”

He smiles like he’s got you in the bag, and then stands up straight. “I’ll order it then.”

You nod emptily and make moves to follow him out of the bathroom, right on his tail, which is why you nearly crash into him when he whirls back around to stop you. “Oh. Almost forgot.”

“What? Forgot what?"

But you only grow more confused when Jeno speeds off towards his room without replying. There’s a creak and a shuffle, doors opening and closing before Jeno returns with a bundle of fabric bunched up in his arms.

“Can’t imagine it’ll be very comfortable to hang out in that dress all night.”

He holds out the mass; what appears to be a heather gray hoodie and black sweatpants that, even bunched up like this, still look miles too long for you. He sees you eyeing it and you fear he’s going to do something awful, like politely offer to go and get you something else as if he hasn’t already done a hundred other things for you tonight, so you quickly oblige. Once you relieve him of the pile he laughs, tells you he’s going to put the order in for the pizza, and closes the door on the way out.

You stand there unmoving for much too long, the heap of fabric clutched to your chest.

There’s so much to unpack. Being here again. The fact that he was supposed to break your heart today instead of doing all of... this. How casual he’s being about it all. The brother-slash-bestfriend shaped elephant in the room. The clothes.

But, for the sake of not collapsing under the weight of all of that turmoil, you decide to just focus on the latter; the most immediate and least heart wrenching of the bunch. His clothes. You’re going to wear his clothes.

Yet another of your old dreams coming to fruition in this apartment. Lucky you.

Jeno is laying across the long part of the couch when you exit the bathroom, footsteps making no noise because you’re padding along on top of the ankle hems. He’s dressed differently too; gone is the jeans and the ivory button up, in its place a black long sleeve and navy blue sweatpants just like yours, except his actually fit. He’s texting furiously on his phone when you round the corner, eyebrows furrowed with something like irritation before he sees your looming figure in the corner of his eye and looks up.

"I put an X-Men movie into the DVD player," he announces, squinting back down to his screen, "Couldn't think of a better time than now to finally get into it, since you'll be here to explain all the things I don't understand..."

But he trails off as he stares at his phone, eyebrows furrowing at something before he frowns and stands up. The look is gone when you shuffle towards the couch and he looks up again, smiling at you like you like nothing is wrong, before he says, "I need to make a call though. Start the movie, yeah? I'll be back before things get interesting."

You stare at him. Probably shouldn't miss the opening scene if you really want to 'get into it', you nearly say. But you've been on this earth for long enough to recognize when someone wants a little privacy.

You want to ask if it's Mark. If he's the one Jeno had been messaging back so agitatedly just now. But the fear of it not being him, Jeno instead just trying to sort something out with like, a truant project partner or something, makes you stuff it down again. It'll just make you look even more pitiful.

"Sure. Most of the intro is fan service anyway."

He opens his mouth like he's about to say something else but then his phone starts to ring and he only smiles tightly at you instead. Then he's gone down the corridor, into his bedroom, and when the ringtone finally stops you can barely hear his voice much less make out what he's saying. Hm.

A different day and you might've snuck off after him to eavesdrop just to see for yourself. But after tonight?

You simply watch him go, and then tumble onto his couch with the exhaustion of someone who's just run up and down the building a dozen times.

You don't even have the strength to reach over for the TV remote; you just lay there and revel in the softness of the cushions, and at how tired you suddenly feel. Rehearsal all morning, giving it your all on stage, the energy-leeching atmosphere of a house party, the alcohol sagging through your veins. Not to mention the emotional confusion. Crying always takes it out of you.

So it's no wonder that you forgo turning the movie on to just take a moment to breathe in the pleasantly dark living room, closing your eyes for what you intended to be a brief second, just to gather the last bits of your patience and sanity for the night ahead... only to fall victim to what happens to most people when they say they're just resting their eyes.

You fall asleep.

At least for a little while, you do. A brief, dreamless, blissful unconsciousness.

It’s so blissful in fact, that when you’re startled back to life by a knock at the front door a few minutes later— blinking the haze out of your eyes and seeing Jeno’s ceiling instead of your own, understanding with a sinking hopelessness that you’re not waking from a nightmare, that all of tonight has really happened— the dread is almost crushing when it all comes back.

But there isn't even any time to mourn. Because you realize that if someone's just knocked on the door, like the good homeowner he is, Jeno will be out here any second now to open it. He'll come out here and he'll see you and you'll be sucked right back into that nightmare, pretending like everything is fine when you both know that tonight was supposed to go so, so differently. Sitting next to each other and eating next to each other and attempting small talk for the sake of keeping things civil until you can escape this place in ten hours.

The idea almost gives you hives. You can't do it. You can't. There has to be another way. What if you make something up? A sore throat? A sudden headache?

But there's no time to think of anything fancy because in the next second Jeno's bedroom door clicks open down the hall, and panic flies up in your throat.

So you do the only think you can fathom. Before he can come around the corner and see you freaking out, you fling yourself back over and pretend to still be dead asleep.

As foolish as you immediately feel, it must work at least a little bit; you hear him come into the living room, hesitate, and then continue on past the couch on lighter steps as if worried about making too much noise. You even steady your breathing when he’s opening the door for the pizza guy— smooth inhale, smooth exhale, spaced just far enough to replicate what someone sounds like when they’ve been out for a while.

Shit. Will this actually work?

When he closes the door and the room falls to silence your heart picks up a little bit. What is he doing? Is he staring at you, trying to see if you’re faking?

Is he wondering if he should wake you up to eat? Oh, God! What if—

“Are you up?” he whispers. And you almost choke trying to swallow down the instinctual response that rises in your throat.

With surprisingly great effort, you do nothing. Say nothing. You don’t even stir. You just pray to whatever God is out there that Jeno will take the hint, eat his pizza at the kitchen island, leave you out here and go to bed. You get excited when you hear his steps again and think he’s going to pass the couch straight, but of course a second later you feel the couch dip somewhere off behind your back and you nearly curse.

“Guess not,” Jeno mumbles. "I forgot that you knock out so easily."

A few more seconds of what feels like an endless quiet, only his shuffling making sound; through your squeezed-shut eyes you see the light of the TV flicker like he’s just changed the channel, and with it you hear what must be the intro to a gameshow or something— excited chatter, ringing bells, audience cheers. But the volume is turned down so low that it feels like the show is playing in another room. Is he keeping the volume low because of you?

Is he… going to stay out here?

“So you won’t mind if I think out loud,” he says suddenly, and your eyes nearly fly open in surprise. What?

But he sounds serious. “Like a test run, almost. For what I wanted to talk about earlier at Aegon. Since I still don’t really know what the hell I’m going to say even after losing sleep over it all week, and I know you’ll try to stop me if you’re awake. I should just try it now, right?”

Try it... now?

Your fake deep-breathing almost hitches in panic when you realize what he’s getting at. Sweet God, please, no. What he wanted to talk about earlier? He wants to get into that now?

“Jaemin scolded me for springing it on you like that after your showcase, by the way. I didn’t realize that I might’ve cornered you until later and I’m sorry about that. I just really, really wanted to talk. Because I didn’t before, and everything got all…” he sighs, heavily. “I’m thankful that you told me to get lost earlier, because I think I can explain it better, like this. I can start from the beginning. I know how thorough you are about things like this.”

You hear the beep of a digital watch somewhere in his house as your face scrunches up in confusion. It's officially midnight, if the watch is making noise to denote the hour, but the realization of the time only comes second to the slow bewilderment slipping through your gloom.

From the beginning? The beginning of what? What the hell does any of that have to do with firmly rejecting you?

“Before we met, because of the way Mark talked about you, I had this idea in my head that you’d be some sort of perfect, flawless angel. That you’d be a little version of him; neat and proper and just a little bit naive, too nice for your own good. A rule follower.”

He laughs at this, a genuine laugh at the memory, and your frown deepens in embarrassment. “Then I actually laid my own eyes on you for the first time, and I realized I couldn’t have been more off.”

You remember it clearly, the first time you’d made a fool out of yourself in front of him and the rest of Mark’s friends. Fourteen years old, running inside the house after walking home from class with your own crew; you’d completely forgotten that you were supposed to bring your skateboard and a change of clothes to school because you all planned to ride around the park that day, the first warm afternoon after a mushy spring, and they said if you didn’t come back out in sixty seconds or less they’d leave you in the dust. So you stormed into the house, past the living room with all of them in it without even a glance or greeting since you hadn’t realized it wasn’t just your brother in there, hurled off your uniform in favor of your outfit staples at the time— an oversized tee that you stole from Mark, hand-me-down cargo shorts that also came from your brother’s closet, and your most cherished possessions: a Yankees baseball cap and your beat-up blue Nikes.

But you couldn’t find your skateboard and the clock was running out, so you howled down the staircase, “If you moved my skateboard again from where I put it I’m going to kill you in your sleep!” only for Mark to shout back up, “It’s a tripping hazard! It’s in the hallway closet! And aren’t you grounded right now? Where are you even going? Does mom know?”

You hadn’t replied. Just snatched the board from where he said he’d stashed it, barreled back down the stairs, and was fully preparing to toss your brother some half-assed explanation, but then you’d seen him. Seen them. Mark’s new school friends, all lounging on your living room couch, staring at you as if you’d come into the room with a bomb. Lee Jeno (who’s name you’d only later find out) appeared the most stunned by your tornado-like appearance.

You could only imagine what they were seeing. Some rowdy tomboy, technically on house arrest but running out to wreak havoc on the town regardless, threatening to kill people in their sleep for tidying up. Exaggerated, obviously, but you remember being mortified halfway to Sunday by how cute they all were and that this was their first introduction to you— and in that mortification, sprinting out of the house without telling your brother anything at all.

You’d gotten a good scolding for that later.

“And it’s going to sound kind of stupid,” Jeno continues, and if you didn’t know any better you’d think you heard the smile in his voice, “But because of that, I got this idea in my head that Mark must’ve only been seeing you through those rose-tinted glasses. The type every older brother has for every younger sister, the ones that make everything they do look cute and miraculous and perfect even if they’re clearly evil to everyone else. Not saying I thought you were secretly some sort of demon or anything either, ‘cause I know you’d roll your eyes at me right now if you could. Just that the girl I saw that day was nowhere near the delicate little thing he’d described. And I got... curious. I started wondering what you were actually like.”

Your face is getting hot again. You’ve never, ever heard him speak this much in one sitting, and the idea of him ever paying this much attention to you is mind boggling. But you don’t let yourself lean into whatever feeling of hope is whistling through your head.

So what if he made a game out of trying to separate your real traits from the things Mark got wrong about you six years ago? Sometimes you liked to make up season-long dramas about strangers you saw on campus. It doesn’t mean anything now.

You want to scrunch into a ball. You aren’t sure how much more of this monologue you can handle, even despite the consequences of rolling over and breaking the facade just to get him to stop. The heat in your face is spreading to your neck, your stomach, every inch of your skin, it’s making your stomach churn with discomfort.

“But then the next year you came to our school,” Jeno says with finality, like this is supposed to be some important distinction. “And it stopped being as casual of an interest. The months went by and at some point I stopped looking for you just to see if you were doing something Mark didn’t know about, and started looking for you just because I wanted to know what you were doing. We’d come over for movie night and while Hyuck and Jae argued for hours about what they did and didn’t want to watch, I’d be wondering if I’d get to see you. You probably won’t remember this, but one of those nights I even ordered an extra curry bowl just so I’d have an excuse to knock on your door to tell you about it. And I thought that was a normal thing to do.”

Jesus Christ. Do you remember? Of course you remember! You’d been reading at your desk with your headphones in, which meant Jeno had to come all the way into your room to get your attention— tapping the side of your earbud with two gentle fingers, laughing all crescent-eyed at you when you yelped in surprise. The sight of him in your room for the first time was like a grenade going off in your tweenaged mind; you’d had to calm down for nearly an entire minute before going downstairs to get your food.

“I thought it was just Mark rubbing off on me. He cared so much about you that I thought my sudden interest was simply overprotection by relation— that he was the reason why I couldn’t stop looking for you. ‘Cause in my mind it couldn't be anything else but brotherly. Mark was pretty clear about what he thought of the people that liked you so I knew it couldn’t be that; I wasn’t stupid enough to let myself be interested in you like that. Right?”

He laughs again, but it doesn’t sound nearly as sweet this time. “I’m rambling, huh?”

Yes, you are. You are.

“I’ll cut to the ending then,” he replies like he’s read your mind. “I realized I did in fact ‘like you like that’, at our graduation.”

And your eyes pop open. It’s completely involuntary, and if you’d been facing him you would have been screwed. But you’re still looking deep into the cushions of the black couch; wide eyes staring into a deep, dark, nothing.

“I hid behind that brotherly excuse for three years. My eyes followed you in the hallway because I wanted to make sure you were okay like Mark would’ve wanted me to. I offered to drive you home from school when he was busy because that’s what Mark would’ve asked me to do anyway. Everything I wanted to do I told myself I was doing because I was just a good friend. You know?” A beat passes before he hums to himself. “But I guess you don’t, actually. Because you liked me authentically, like you do with everything. The night of our graduation, the backyard barbecue your parents threw for us. You remember that, right?”

Duh. You’d bawled your eyes out on the front porch halfway through because only then did it fully sink in that they’d all be leaving you behind, these losers you swore you didn’t even like, before wiping your face and moodily rejoining the celebration.

“Jaemin and Donghyuck were having fun like it was their last day on earth. Even Mark didn’t seem too worried about the fact that we’d be leaving our whole lives behind in a few weeks when we drove off to SNU. I asked him if he was going to miss anything and he listed a dozen things, the friends of ours that were going to different colleges, his parents cooking, his backyard, his bedroom, his electric keyboard. And I remember feeling frozen when he didn’t mention you. In hindsight I know that it was probably because he’d still be coming back home every break, and you had a whole year of high school to finish so it wasn’t like you were going anywhere, but at the moment I felt like someone just yanked the blanket off of me. Three years of pretending and it only took one conversation for it to smash through all of that and hit me like a truck. If Mark isn’t worried about it, why the hell has the idea of leaving you here been haunting me for the last week and a half?”

Oh.

“It was then, I think. That I went, ‘Ah. So this hasn’t all been because of Mark, then,’ and everything I’d ever done under the guise of brotherly obligation popped into context all at once. And as if it wasn’t enough being in my own head, I was still in the middle of talking to Mark as I realized that not only did I like you more than I’d ever liked anyone— I was looking directly at the person who would surely strangle me to death if he ever found out that I liked you more than I’d ever liked anyone. So I pretended it never happened. I said ‘yeah, me too,’ the party ended, I went home, the summer went on, and before I knew it I was on campus and had a million other things to worry about. I saw how well you seemed to be doing when Mark would show me your Instagram posts, how much fun you were having, and I let that make me feel better about being such a coward. Over time, without you around, I convinced myself that things were better like this. That it never would have worked out anyway.”

There’s a moment of silence so utterly long that for a moment you genuinely think that this is going to be it. That he’s going to have said all of that and just… sighed, gotten up, and gone to sleep, leaving you alone to be in misery over what you’ve just heard until morning.

But that’s not it. He’s got a few more words for you. The worst of them all. A string of syllables at first, ones that instantly shatter every bit of emotional resistance you’ve built for yourself these last few days— and then a sentence that has your blood turning to ice in your veins when you realize what it means.

“But then you came back to Seoul,” Jeno started simply, “And a lot of things I thought I knew for sure don’t feel quite as concrete anymore.”

You inhaled.

You exhaled.

And tried to understand what the fuck that last part was supposed to mean.

But then before you could he continued on, his voice soft, casual, innocent. Too innocent. “Like how I used to be sure that you snored when you were sleeping,” he murmured. “Has it been so long that I've forgotten? Or are you not actually asleep, Rockstar?”

[♥︎]: and there it is, folks! please leave a like if you enjoyed! it REALLY gives me the motivation to work on this faster!

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from-izzy · 8 months ago

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every day is a lovely day... | tbz lee juyeon

pairing » the boyz lee juyeon x gn!reader (lmk if i missed anything)

trope/au » strangers to lovers, non-idol au!, university au!

genre » mostly hurt/comfort(...?), mostly fluff, a pinch of angst (i always say this but i'm kinda confident in this statement this time lmao), deep reflection on life and aspects of the earth, juyeon who basically falls in love with you at first sight, juyeon being kinda confident towards reader, picnic date by the beach after finishing you last exam!, comforting boyfriend chef (not actually his occupation) lee juyeon!

word count, estimated reading time » 2249, ~8 mins

warnings (lmk if i missed anything!) » reader didn't sleep well, reader uses caffeine to battle tiredness, the slightest of academic difficulties (it's just a dash imo), deep thoughts of sea and sky life (not an expert in this field at all), mentions of open water/vast landscapes in the thoughts

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

i swear that banner changes colour before my very eyes. because i do understand that it's bright and at first glance, you can barely see the water on the bottom right. but when i change tumblr to a lighter mode, stare at fading wind lines near the top of the image for some time, my eyes adjust and the water becomes very obvious. i think it depends on colour context because on dark mode, it's hard for the 'effects' to kick in. is it just me...? it's messing with me...there has got to be a study about this somewhere...😭 anyway!

(i accidentally released this earlier so for those who saw anything: no you didn't!! 😭)

happy birthday to you @littleroaes !! ngl i was gonna give up on this birthday present but then i was scrolling through and found this little wip and tried to modify it to what you like. i was gonna do f2l like you mentioned you like but my brain stopped making ideas for that as soon as i told myself to write about it 😭 so here's my very first short story on strangers to lovers that thankfully you have appreciation for 🫶 from your profile, i read you like fishes, the colour blue, kimbap, spring rolls and of course, lee juyeon!! 😸 so i tried my best to incorporate these prompts here. i tried something different for the fishes 🐟 topic but i hope this incorporation is fine 💙

here is your boyfriend that will get you through uni! hope you have the happiest birthday!! 🎂🎉 love you!! mwah!!

Everything changed for you when Juyeon walked into your life.

No, literally.

Well, maybe not…literally.

You remember the prominent eyebags you’ve carried for the last month since university started. The new semester has weighed you heavier than the headache that is arising from the lack of sleep and the missed attempt to get your daily caffeine content since you slept through your alarm. At the very least, you’re thankful that everything is now electronic because you are so unprepared to be commuting to campus with a heavy mind, heart, eyelids and straps on your shoulders that would surely give you a very sore back.

That day started horrendously. You really thought that the alarm was the only thing that the universe threw at you for their entertainment but it was the embarrassing fact that you dozed off during class. Your elbows were propped up too comfortably against the desk and the perfect temperature of the lecture room didn't make it any easier for your natural melatonin to kick in. The next thing you knew, your palms cupped your cheek and there was this loud bang that was accompanied by the sharp pain on your cheekbone when you hit the wooden desk.

Everything is going awesome and you just attracted around a hundred students back to you. Thankfully your lecturer didn't take it to offense and shot you an emphatic smile.

You guessed then after that the universe felt bad for the negative attention that you got and they canceled the next class on your filled weekly schedule. Usually, you would be annoyed at the sudden change but this gave you a little hour to bask in the sun, the open green space and your favourite cup of beverage wrapped protectively by your hands.

Only to find out that you left your wallet at home.

“I’m sorry,” you said to the worker who tried her best to reassure you and to take your time as your frantic fingers ran through the items in your bag.

Your knees fell to the ground and sweat started to creep against your forehead and to the side of your head, a silent reminder to be mindful of the long line of students who are mostly probably just as stressed as you are in their university journey. The lighting above you helped with your sight in your receipt-filled bag but suddenly, the long papers with their minuscule printings became hard to read and a deep voice stated his order.

At first, your instinct was to defend yourself, tell the person who cut in line and added an order between you and your caffeine to wait a little bit longer but his choice of words registered into you before you could voice out anytime.

“I'll add an iced Americano with the order, please.” And then the familiar beeping sound of a successful transaction rings.

Your neck cranes up towards the stranger that only made your day easier and you couldn't help but let out a gentle gasp. A sharp pair of eyes yet soft and curious like a cat, his perfectly shaped nose and the slight upturn of the corner of his lips with the smile that beams down on you.

The chain necklace around his neck dangles above you and you were sure it hypnotised you to say, “It's an angel.” These were your first words to Lee Juyeon.

“Ah,” the recipient of the compliment could only blush first at your words, a hand sneaking up to mindlessly scratch his nape. “We should at least get out of the line.”

Now it's your turn to have your cheeks heat up at the realisation that you're blocking everyone else’s caffeine intake.

You thought that maybe Juyeon would just walk away and wait for you to join him on the other side of the table with the hanging ‘Pick up orders here' sign hanging from the beige ceiling. Yet, he crouched and helped you sort out your materials, collecting your pencil case and books into one arm, the other swiftly scooping up the straps of your bag along his other forearm.

Your eyes couldn't help but widen at your empty hands, and you were flustered at how he was still holding onto your things even when the customer who stood behind him joined you both after paying. Juyeon’s bangs shook when he refused to give your things back, insisting that you should be the one to carry the coffee instead.

“Coffee is important.” He convinces you with that warm smile of his. “Don't drop it!”

With the promise to pay him back for another cup, came a few promises to help with common subjects and overlapping knowledge. And with time, came the fluttering feeling in both your hearts that only grew when you comforted each other in the long nights leading to assignments and exam periods that came all too quickly but passed by excruciatingly slow.

Juyeon made it all worth it though. You walked out of the last two-hour prison of the semester to be greeted with your usual reward packed in a paper bag. If it was anyone else but Juyeon, the contents of the bag would be mushed as you hug it close to you but it's the person that you have missed so much that gets your love first.

“You called me last night, bubs,” Hearing his voice not through the help of technology is more refreshing and you couldn't help but tighten your hold around his figure.

“Every day is missing Juyeon day.”

“Well for me, every day is a happy day when you're in my life.”

It's a line that he has said to you many times even before he started dating you. Juyeon tried to make the line more interesting each time but one day, mixed with his tiredness and excitedness of finally seeing you, it became the line that revealed his adoration for you.

Hand in hand, Juyeon's thumb caressing the back of your palm, your right arm closely stuck to his left, you both sway and skip to the nearby beach to relish in each other’s company with nature. The light salty breeze scent hits you before you can even see the gigantic natural blue space that seems endless and seamless with the blue sky. As your outfit becomes one with the direction of the wind and the sun is still bright enough for you to know even when your orbs are hidden beneath your eyelids. It’s the little moments like these that the Earth seems to be so rich in beauty and life becomes beautiful although you’ve been studying endlessly for the past three months.

You couldn’t help but let your mind wander to the body of water that eventually begins to seep into your view as you walk up the small hill. You imagine the school of fish including the friendly dolphins to the misunderstood sharks and all the shapes and sizes of the life forms in there, some dependent on their family whilst some choosing to live alone.

That’s why you’ve always been so enamoured by the living, along with the sea plants that they harmoniously live with.

You wonder what kind of thoughts these creatures have as they live in a world much bigger than the land you stand on and if they ever want to explore the whole ocean like most people would love to see the landmarks scattered across the world. If they visit the landmarks of the ocean, would they even remember it? Or would they just swim away, finding it more than satisfactory with the fact that they’re free, especially those who swish through the water with company?

Same with life in the sky, do they ever get tired from flying? Like some people who are scared of a large body of water but are already mid-journey, how do they persevere in their flight and keep going? Do they sometimes look at human transportation and hope that they could bask in that luxury as well? Sleep in the moving vehicle and relax your tense muscles against the cushioned interiors even if it’s just for ten minutes. You want to know the answer to that and maybe, you’ll be able to learn something from the other life form.

You wish sometimes you would be one of them but it’s hard to say so as well because all forms of life experience different hardships and it’s impossible to generalise anything, nor is it truly fair to say one has it better than the other.

That’s when life becomes so complex and beautiful. The fact that you’re so small in the context of the horizon that stretched too far for you to see and comprehend, leaves you appreciating the small things in life.

For you, the arms encircling your middle remind you that no matter what hardships you face, you’ll be able to safely fall back onto someone. That you can freely cry without judgement and that life is lovely whenever he’s in it. Juyeon steals a kiss from your lips before placing another one on your cheek. Your eyelashes flutter open and you swear that Juyeon’s smile is brighter than the sun that smiles down on you both and louder than the crashing waves against the eroding rocks.

And whenever he asks you, “Feeling better?” You know that Lee Juyeon is the one person that you can answer the question truthfully and genuinely.

You both settled with a picnic blanket underneath a substantial amount of coverage from the sun by the park near the beach, the crashing ocean waves still in sight. You observe the tree above you dancing freely in the winds while the birds seem to sing for both of your accomplishments.

When you look back down by the cue of a single, proud hand clap, you're greeted with numerous small glass containers clinking next to each other. The colours from the neatly presented food only lifted your energy further and your boyfriend’s orbs glimmered more with the help of the sun that still peaks through from the leaves above.

Juyeon complied when you asked him for a bite of his homemade kimbap and spring rolls. The flavours instantly make you nod. “I refuse to believe that your mum didn't make this.”

Your boyfriend’s smile flattened, dipping further into a frown, “She helped but I did all the cooking and rolling!”

“Okay, you cute clingy baby.” Leaning in to press a quick kiss against his pouting lips. “I’m just joking around with you.”

To Juyeon, the peck is way more than just unsatisfactory and his thoughts about it are clearly reflected first from his eyes. Then, his hand landed next to the food box on his far left and made a sweeping motion on the cotton blanket to the right, pushing all of the obstacles between you and him. His knees slide his body closer to you that was once on the other side, and now with your boyfriend only looking at you with the softest, loving gaze between his overgrown bangs, you couldn’t help but purse your lips momentarily. You couldn’t let out a question or comment but that changed in the blink of an eye when leaned in Juyeon, replacing your growing confusion with a muffled chuckle instead.

A soft groan vibrates to your lips, Juyeon complaining about how there was nothing to laugh about—not when his soft lips are between yours. A palm made its way around the back of your neck, pulling your still extensive smile against his more serious ones. Eventually, with the way that Juyeon poured his love into you, you’re determined to do the same to the only person who would only let you claim his lips. A part of his blue and white sweater is now captured in your fist but it did nothing to your heartbeat which starts to pick up whenever Juyeon pulls away to adjust his lip’s position on yours.

The subtle nose nudges only served your fingers to trail up his arm that held you close, tracing along the vein that started near his elbows and ran his wrist near your pulse on the side of your neck. Now, with the way that your thumb brushes softly on his soft skin, Juyeon could melt further into you, leaning in further to deepen his presence to you. Whenever he pulled back, you would be the one chasing after him pulling on his sweater, wanting to indulge in his loving space even more.

“Who’s the clingy one now?” That lands him a shy hit to his chest that only made him let out a weightless chuckle in the air. “The love of my life and the only one for me,” he whispers sweet nothings as your foreheads kiss each other, a sweet gaze grazing upon your facial features. “I love you, bubs.”

So maybe you weren't hypnotised at all that day. Maybe, the universe didn't hate you after all. Maybe, this was all meant to happen even though you did go through some stress when the sequential events happened.

“I love you more.”

But at least, the universe gave you a free coffee.

Two, you really did meet an angel named Lee Juyeon.

And three, just like how he holds the day when you confess to him that you love him back, you repeat the words that he said to you at the start of all your lovely days, “Every day is a lovely day when you're in my life.”

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 'especially to you...'

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here or removed!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿 @sanaxo-o

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sungbeam · 2 years ago

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𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄 𝐈𝐍 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐓𝐘 : a series!

[7 OF 11 NOW CUFFED!] ; it's cuffing season! — and the boyz are in for quite the adventure as they learn to juggle school, work, friends, and love.

starring: the boyz, f!reader

genre: college au, fluff, humor, comfort, assorted pairings

word count: 216k/?? // at least 20k+ words per part

**note: the main plotline (the 4 szns) can be read completely as stand-alones. all other spin-offs can also technically be read as stand-alones, but some might require context from the main plotline. (all prev yns will appear as __!yn)

+ ADD THIS TO YOUR LIST (taglist form: open)

a/n: i'm very excited for this series tbh and i really hope i retain the strength to finish it 🤧 a great way to help me out tho is to blow this post up by reblogging, esp since tumblr gatekeeps the actual fics when they're published :')

SEASON ONE: PARTY PEOPLE — jacob b.

yours and jacob's mutual friend kevin is convinced that you're meant to be, even if he only just met you. (trailer, 34k)

SEASON TWO: FLIGHT RISK — eric s.

you and eric met on an airplane, and that's where you thought it would end, but clearly the universe has a different plan in mind. (trailer, 30k)

SEASON THREE: OFF THE RECORD — j. changmin (parts 𝐈, 𝐈𝐈)

everyone thinks changmin is cute and harmless, but you know that's not who he really is. (trailer, 36k)

SEASON FOUR: AIN'T NO ROMEO — l. hyunjae

your best friend hyunjae ain't no romeo, but you're still in love... so let's hope he doesn't find out you wrote a whole play about him! (trailer, 30k)

— spin-offs & side adventures.

RHAPSODY ANONYMOUS — k. sunwoo

you never thought your humble, little podcast would ever touch somebody's soul like it did one kim sunwoo's. (trailer, 28k)

RESCUE PROTOCOL — kevin m.

another summer break, another annual trip to the lake! except, it seems like when you and kev get there, you'll have to make some tweaks to the original rescue protocol. (trailer, 29k)

AT YOUR CONVENIENCE — k. younghoon

neither you nor younghoon were party people, but you did find love in the convenience store down the block. (trailer, 29k)

HOT COMMODITY — j. haknyeon

no matter how many times he's been to this restaurant, haknyeon swears he's not just here for the cute waitress. (trailer, __)

PINKY SWEAR — c. chanhee

you and chanhee are far from the years of pinky swears, but here you are, still lacing fingers after all this time. (trailer, __)

THE REVEAL — l. sangyeon

does sangyeon really have a secret girlfriend? well... let's find out. (trailer, __)

CLASS(Y) ACTION — l. juyeon

nothing is more cutthroat than the legal sphere, and sometimes we have to find allies in the strangest places—even if he spills coffee on you. (trailer, __)

EXTRA/"DELETED" SCENES

section under construction.

EXTRA, EXTRA CONTENT

— QUIZZES!

lmk what u got for a free smooch and a cookie 🤸‍♀️🥰

which love in unity boy will you be cuffing this year? (uquiz)

which love in unity boy will you be cuffing this school year? (**NEW & IMPROVED VER)

love in unity trivia !! for the main plot only (uquiz)

— ALT. READING ORDERS

if u want to read this series in timeline order, this is how it should be done: jacob/younghoon, eric/haknyeon, changmin/sunwoo, hyunjae/chanhee, sangyeon, kevin, juyeon

if u wanna read sungbeam's favorites (no particular order): at your convenience, ain't no romeo, (more to be decided!)

— SERIES TAGS: general series. any wip can be searched via "wip: _____" (usually just the initials, except for party people); or "the (member) fic™"

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beautifulpersonpeach · 1 year ago

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Bpp I'm dying to know your song rankings in chapter 2 now they've all debuted. What are your top picks this year? I miss your writing and hope I can coax you back with 'a fun ask'

***

Okay. :)

Since you asked...

Top 10 Non-BTS K-pop Songs in 2023

10 - Watch It - The Boyz (this song just dropped and it's already in my top ten, yes)

9 - Seoul - H1-key

8 - Ay-Yo - NCT 127

7 - Sweet Venom - ENHYPEN

6 - Neverland Farewell - TXT (Say whatever you like about BigHit, they know how to make good music. Soobin sounds incredible on this song. Beomgyu too. Really, they all do.)

5 - Cool With You - NewJeans

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NewJeans isn't going anywhere, so everyone else really should get comfortable with the idea of seeing them at the top. That's all there is to say.

4 - Crying - BOYNEXTDOOR

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I don't know where my head was at when I ranked this the worst song on the album. Clearly, I was wrong. This song was a pleasant companion during the autumn months, and I can't wait to see what else they come out with.

3 - Chaconne - ENHYPEN

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Do you know what a chaconne is? That's not a rhetorical question btw. No shade either, I'm just curious. For those who don't know, a chaconne is a rhythmical and harmonic motif over a pronounced bass-line. That's my leftover understanding from music classes taken a lifetime ago. According to google, a chaconne is also "a slow, solemn dance in 3/4 time, of Spanish or Moorish origin, similar to the passacaglia." For a non-k-pop example, I recommend Hilary's rendition of Bach's chaconne (more leftover knowledge from a lifetime ago).

Anyway, this likely isn't important context. The use of "chaconne" in the song probably has more to do with how it sounds in the song, than what it means. In any case, Enhypen earned a gold star from me with this pantydropper anthem.

2 - Criminal Love - ENHYPEN

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I'm not sure how many of you were here when Heartbeat and Dream Glow were released. What I remember was shock, pure incredulity that BigHit would release songs of that quality for game OSTs. From ARMYs and k-pop stans alike, this was the sentiment. It was like a flex that BTS had such a peerless discography they could make songs like this for a side gig.

That's immediately what I was reminded of when I first heard Criminal Love, released as the OST for Enhypen's webtoon. It's moody, vampy, seduction in a song. That's what that song is. Sad too, when you hear the lyrics. Watching the live performance only drives it home.

1 - Blind - ENHYPEN

This song has given me one of the best auditory experiences I've ever had in k-pop. Which is a bit odd because yes a lot happens in the production, but the switches are so subtle you almost don't notice it.

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Heeseung, Ni-ki, Jay, Sunoo, Sunghoon, Jake, and Jungwon - all outdid themselves on this song. Vocally, they sound incredible. The writing, (again) is top notch. This is one of the only songs released this year that I genuinely struggle not to loop.

Top 5 BTS Solo Songs

5 - Yes or No - Jung Kook

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This is one song I'm praying and begging that we get thousands of remixes of. HYBE, please work your magic and give us 10 remixes of Yes or No. I need it. This is the perfect pop song in that it makes you crave more. I know it's got a predictable, common almost, chord progression in VI -> V -> I -> IV, but it's perfect in that it's impossible to get sick of it. It just worms itself into your head and all you can think of is all the ways to sing all over those chords.

Jung Kook's vocal work on that song is irreproachable. He's really set himself apart with this album and I'm glad he did it.

4 - Snooze - AGUST D, ft. Ryuichi Sakamoto & Woosung

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HUH?! should be here, as should Amygdala so consider this a triple entry: HUH + Snooze + Amygdala. The reason why is self-evident (I hope).

Anyway... I want to talk a bit about Snooze.

Yoongi loves using the piano. He likes the sound of it, and you can tell in songs like Snooze. He has such a profound love and respect for that musical instrument that it only makes sense a man like Ryuichi acknowledged Yoongi before he passed.

With everything that happened this year, remembering Moonbin, and knowing that Yoongi made this song for his juniors... the first time I heard this song it completely destroyed me. Anyone who hasn't paid attention to the lyrics yet should check it.

When I casually listen in to TXT, SVT, Enhypen, BoyNextDoor, and see the work they're doing, putting out easily some of the best music and performances in their generations, I hope and pray they develop a support system that genuinely values them, soon. I hope they survive this industry, and thrive in it.

3 - All Day - RM ft Tablo

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Not to be that person (since he's canceled for reasons and it actually makes sense why), but when I first saw the song title All Day, I immediately remembered All Day by Kanye West - one of the sauciest and meanest songs he's ever made. I was worried, given the tone of the album to that point, that Namjoon was going to give us his take on Ye's original. Joon is more than capable of dropping a track just as mean if not more. I didn't put it past him to pay homage to the Kanye joint by taking a spin on it. But, thankfully, All Day is nothing like Kanye's song, and it's my favourite song on Indigo because it's the best.

Joon's diction on this track is *chef's kiss*. His voice.... that outro, and thank goodness, Tablo came through. He actually has a presence on the track and made it even more worth the listen.

It kills me that we don't even have a visualizer for this masterpiece.

2 - Set Me Free Pt 2 - Jimin

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Thank you for giving me another chance to talk about Set Me Free Pt 2.

One reason all the anxiety and fear-mongering around Jimin seems insane to me is because Jimin dropped this song and ended k-pop in 2023. He literally has no real competition. He came in, showed out, and left. That song is the sexiest joint out of Korea this year. It's so nasty. He's absolutely disgusting on this song in how brutally he makes rubbish of everything beneath him. Like, he literally has people bowing down to him in the choreography. Bobbing their heads like Funko Pops, while he sings to be set free. I'm going on a bit of a tangent here, but I want to say something. There's a cruelty in the way Jimin speaks. Whether to someone else or to himself. It's often (somewhat) restrained, born of the way he sees the world I think, and it was especially brutal in their early days, but he's toned it down significantly since 2016. It's virtually non-existent in his speech patterns and word choice now. Jimin of the last few years communicates gently, directly, tactfully, and at worst, bluntly. A lot of that cruelty is toned down but he unleashes a whisper of it on SMF Pt 2. Just listen to what he's saying on that song. That autotune effect on his voice was for our benefit and safety. Nothing can convince me otherwise. And we haven't even yet gotten into the full symbolism of the MV and his lyricism...

The moment I heard this song I knew I would bias Jimin. He's a man who knows what he's doing.

Jimin is a one of a kind wonder. Real magic in a person. An artist. He proves it on Set Me Free Pt 2. Kudos to PDogg too - the GOAT.

1 - On The Street - j-hope ft J. Cole

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When it comes to song construction, I have to give credit where credit is due and the fact is Hoseok outdid himself with this song. It is perfect, my top pick for a k-pop song in 2023. Jermaine did good on it too. But, you know... Hoseok.

The whistle melody he came up with, the beat, the vocal layering, the mixing, the MV direction - all of it is perfect. If we were giving scores based on separate components, OTS would get 10s in every category.

Honestly, Hoseok coming out at number 1 is kind of expected of him lol.

#bts #bpp music posts #hoseok #jimin #namjoon #yoongi #jungkook #jikook #the boyz #newjeans #enhypen #nct 127 #h1key #txt #kpop #kpop music #2023 top 10

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theboarboyz · 2 years ago

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#i wouldn’t do it but... maybe...#boar boyz #dnd #d&d #d&d out of context #d&d shenanigans

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ruhaverse · 12 days ago

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ENHYPEN BOYZ

ENHYPEN, a globally renowned nine-member kpop group under BELIFT LAB, is celebrated for their versatility in music, incredible choreography, and captivating storytelling. Since their debut, ENHYPEN has become a cornerstone of modern K-pop, bridging connections with fans worldwide through their relatable themes of youth, growth, and unity. ENHYPEN BOYZ is a separate sub-unit which includes only the boys of ENHYPEN often creating songs which suit only in the male perspective

Meaning of ENHYPEN

Similar to how a hyphen connects different words to create new meanings, Enhypen aims "to come together to connect, discover and grow together to form a new act".

ENHYPEN X RYSE

Integration of RYSE, a special sub-unit featuring two female members, adds a refreshing dynamic to the group. While Ruby and Sarah are fully-fledged members of ENHYPEN, they also shine as a duo in their separate sub-unit, RYSE, designed to explore new genres and concepts.

Meaning of RYSE

In the context of a sub-unit name, RYSE would evoke themes of growth, empowerment, and illuminating new paths in both the music and the storytelling of the group. It suggests that the sub-unit is on an upward journey, striving to shine brighter in the world of K-pop.

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t3kandson · 3 months ago

Text

Deathly Powers

Word count; 8,960

Fandom; A.C.E. & The Boyz

Pairing; Reader X Eric Sohn, Reader X Lee Donghun.

Characters; Lee Donghun, Eric Sohn, Park Junhee, Kim Sehyoon, Kim Byeongkwan, Lee Hyunjae

Mentions; Kang Yuchan, Ji Changmin, Lee Sangyoon, Ju Haknyeon, Kim Younghoon, Choi Chanhee & Lee Hyunjae

Warnings; Angst, Supernatural, Passing out unconscious, Spiritual world, Violence, Death, Devil worshipping, Witchcraft, Images of predicted death of Main Character, Ghosts including Eric, Knife, Blood, Choking, Unprotected Sex, Threesome (kinda).

Notes; Part 1/3. Set in 2033/2034

Check out A.C.E.'s new pre release song Anymore

Taglist; @nyu-topia

“The most important thing is to listen to me, especially when I feel it's not safe," Donghun said as you listened intently. "If I find a case too dangerous we need to contact Kim Byeongkwan & Ji Changmin. They are our Demonologist exorcists," he continued as you nodded.

Lee Donghun was your childhood school friend, one who you had gone on two different paths with. While Donghun was up the temples working hard on his spiritual path. You had a string full of broken relationships and failed job prospects. That was till your recent relationship disaster with Choi Chanhee. Who was caught having an affair with your work colleague Kim Younghoon. Turning to alcohol had been your saving till Jacob Bae had brought you to a Powerful Sharman Park Junhee. His spiritual gift or being a soul rescuer. You blamed it on the demands for a purpose in life. But their was a part of you that had fire in your stomach ready to take on the world. The last person you expected to be your mentor was Lee Donghun. His eyes raised in your direction at viewing you at his door. Not impressed by the jokes of him seeing it coming. Now you were sat in his Healing room, chest full of powerful intoxicating incense. Your head slightly a little dizzy from all the chants upon your arrival in old Archaic Chinese. "Y/N are you even listening to me," Donghun said snapping his fingers as you grinned your most amused expression earning a raised brow. "What did I do to earn this punishment," he said into thin air in frustration. "What did they say," you teased as he deadpanned your way. "Have you even seen a spirit?" He questioned as you shook your head. This gift upon you had only shown you eerily feelings and items thrown in your company. But you were yet to be face with a see-through person or a white sperm like dude. "That's because you're not taking this seriously," he grumbled as he gave up sitting on the floor as your sure he was secretly praying for you to disappear. "Are you even aware what I do?" He said looking at you with hope of a easy path. "You seek out ghosts," you said as he rolled his eyes. "More context Y/N," he said as you shook your head. "We find lost souls and help them. Just sometimes," , "Yes you already said sometimes it gets dangerous," you cut him off. "Your job is to communicate with them while I send them to the next land," he explained as you nodded in awe. "But how do I do that if I can't see them?" You asked as he looked a little baffled himself. "We have to train you up I think," he said unsure. "I thought you knew what you were doing, so much for being my mentor," you scoffed as he frowned your way. "I've never had someone to train, so I wouldn't know. Yuchan was already gifted when he came to me," he scoffed with a saddened expression. "Yuchan?" You asked. "Kang Yuchan was a fine Soul rescuer but he got hurt last time. It will be a long time before he will be ready to come back. That's if he can find his health to return back,” he said looking to the floor. "What happened?" You gulped slightly afraid for the response. "Dangerous spirit which is why I need you to desperately listen to me," he snapped as you nodded. "Right first let's see if we can find a way for you to communicate," he said standing up as you mirrored. "Let's go on a hunt," he said excitedly your way.

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"Where are we?” you asked appearing in the wooded area he walked you through. "You tell me?" He said arms folded. "Well if I knew that I wouldn't be asking," you said folding yours his way too. "Close your eyes," he demanded as you obeyed. "I want you to focus on your breathing, breathe in.... hold...... breathe out," he said in such a relaxing tone. "And again," he instructed you once more. "Keep going Y/N," he encouraged as you continued. With each passing breath you felt the world spin around you as you felt your self merge with the outside air. "Imagine looking out the open door into a world that isn't ours," he said walking towards you as you heard the crunch of the dried leaves under his feet. "Imagine the crisp fresh air in your lungs," he said barely a whisper in your ear, causing you to shiver aroused by his voice. "I want you to see if you can find any people," he continued. Eyes looked around the forest in what felt like your daydream world, but you could not see anything. "Listen out if you can't see anyone, listen for the sounds," he says as you shiver slightly. From the chilly air that you are not sure is real or imagination. "I can only hear you," you say out as he clicks his tongue to the roof of his mouth. "Can you sense anything even if you can't see it. Or feel words that flow that don't feel yours in your mind," he asks as you fall to silence. The only thing on your mind was food. Your tummy rumbling to help make your mouth salivate further. "Stop thinking of your stomach," Donghun moaned as your eyes opened up in excitement. "You knew what I was thinking?” you whispered in awe as he tilted his head with frustration. "Focus Y/N," he grumbled as your eyes rolled and went back to your imaginary world. Pressing his hands to your shoulder you took a deep breath in through your nose, holding it to release a couple seconds later. You could suddenly hear whispers, you tried to zone into the sound but they were barely audible. "You hear something?" Donghun questioned as you bite your lip nodding. "I think so but not enough to understand what, it's not loud enough," you said feeling goosebumps fall up your skin. "Well ask them to talk more clearer out Loud," he ordered as his second hand hit your shoulder. "Please Spirit speak louder and clearer so I can communicate with you," you said slightly a little apprehensive.

"Your mine," you heard whispered out as your eyebrows furrowed. Was it Donghun whispering those words? Was your childhood crush making you believe you could hear the words you wanted to hear. "Very funny Donghun," you said opening your eyes to him looking puzzled. "I said nothing," he replied as his sparkling brown eyes looked your way. "I'm not the one that likes to fuck around, that you," he said deadpanning you. "What did you hear anyway?" He questioned removing his hands. "Your nuts," you lied not wanting him to have acknowledge of your crush. Knowing he would question while you would have said that came from him. "Well guess the spirit truly knows you," Donghun teased as you scrunched your nose his way. "But on a good note you heard something so it's working, let's try again," he said with more motivation then earlier as you groaned. But trying again didn't work, your body was only swaying into the quiet without Donghun’s hands to keep you still. "Well we got a small progress, we're come back tomorrow and try again," Donghun said breaking you from your silent trance.

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"Hi Mrs Kim," Donghun said as your mother greeted you as Donghun dropped you off. "Lee Donghun is that really you? You must come in," she said not giving him a chance to back away. "You were with Donghun?” she asked in excitement your way remembering your one way crush on him. "Why are you even awake mum?" You questioned as she dragged Donghun to a table to sit. "Work overrun, what's both your two excuse," she said arms folded with a smirk between you both. "We're doing a temple project together," Donghun replied with a half lie. "Oooh temple work," she said excited before looking at the pot on the oven.

"I'm about to warm up some kimchi Jjigae, do you fancy some?" She asks as he nods being relaxed for the first time since meeting as adults. "Thank you that would be nice," he says as you admire the way his eyes small as he smiles.

"What?" He says as he catches you watching him. "Just amazed you know how to smile," you teased as he frowned. "Don't do that you might get frown lines permanently, don't let her ruin your perfect face," your mother said as he chuckled her way. "Mother he already has frown lines look," you teased pressing your finger to the lines his frown made in that moment. "Stop teasing him," she said slapping your shoulder. "I was trying to be a good friend, I know of a few people who could help out with Botox," you continued playfully despite loving his frown. "Yeah that be great always great to work on oneself. Shame we can't improve on your personality," he hit back as you aissh into the air pretending to strike him. "Can't I see you two have reunited," your mother said stirring the pot on the stove. "Yeah I've missed her like a hole in the head," he smirked seductively that had you roll your eyes. Not from his comment but the view he had given. Just why did he have to be so drop dead Gorgeous. "Do you want some?" Your mother said with a bowl In her hand. "No I'm ok I'm going up to bed soon," you said as your mum poured the warmed up meal into a bowl for Donghun. "Well don't let me stop you, your mums better company," Donghun said taking the bowl from her with a thank you added on. "Kiss ass," you spat out as he shook his head holding back a chuckle. "Kim Y/N language," your mother bit out smacking your arm once more. "See your here just to get me beat," you scoff at him rubbing your arm. "She's only doing what I wanted to do all day," he said eyes widening amused. "Whatever," you said clicking your tongue at the roof of your mouth. You didn't make it to your room as you threatened. Instead listening to your mother and Donghun chat about Temple life as they both ate up their food. "Oh wow, it's 4am, you must be tired, please stay. I can put you up in the spare room," she said as you smiled warmly her way. "That would be great we've got loads of work to do tomorrow, thank you," he said as she took his bowl. "Please let me wash up though," he said standing to take the bowl back. "I won't turn that down," she smiled back before turning to look at you. "You can help him, and be nice," she said prodding your arm making you wince. "Make sure he has all the bedding he needs too," she said as you nodded. "I will put up some of Y/N's brothers clothes up for you," she says before going upstairs. "How are Sangyeon and Haknyeon?" Donghun asked going to the sink. "Sangyeon’s married and with kids, we don't really see much of him, he's a Cardiologist," you said thinking of your elder brother fondly. "That's a shame I know you two was close," Donghun said as he passed a washed bowl your way to dry up. "It's ok I was pretty close to Haknyeon before he went to university," you said remembering the feeling of loneliness at home since your younger brother left. "Does he not come and visit much?” he continued to quiz. "He's in England at Oxford university, so no sadly," you said as he turned to you with sadness in his view. "You must have been so lonely without them," he said clearly feeling the emotions on your mind. "I wasn't till," you said pausing remembering Chanhee and the pain he caused. "Yeah I heard about that," he said as you looked to the floor. "Don't waste tears on people that aren't worth it," he said pressing his finger under your chin to look at him. His face full of concern, reminding you of the cherished friendship you had when you was younger. "New beginnings," you said taking a step back struggling with your over beating heart from his close contact. "I'll get your bedroom stuff sorted," you said as blood was rushing to your head a little too fast.

----------------------------🔺-------------------------

"Come on lazy," came Donghun's voice before the impact of a pillow striking you. "We’ve got things to do, so get up," he continued as you groaned. "Just five minutes please," you whimpered keeping your eyes shut. "No five minutes, your eating into my time now, get up," he said continuing his pillow attack. "Ok, ok," you groaned sitting up to watch him smirk your way. "Good wash up, eat up and let's dash. We have got to see Sharman Park today," he said arms crossed on his chest in a thin white vest, his muscles easily noticeable. "Ok out my room so I can get sorted," you said gulping as he agreed. Why had your feelings for him suddenly hit max volume? You blamed this gift which was beginning to sound like a curse.

--------------------------🔺---------------------------

"Hurry up," you said throwing your head over his car as you waited for him. His motherly act had him take your keys to lock up with your mother already having left for work. "Stop being impatient and get off my car," Donghun said as he pulled his arms around your waist to lift you from his vehicle. You groaned despite your heart beating so hard from the extra close contact with him. When your eyes took to a figure across the street. The energy from him was swimming in something strong that you couldn't put your finger on it. His expression mixed with anger and sadness as his eyes was heavily focused on you. You knew enough to know he wasn't alive. "Can you see that?" You said to Donghun without your eyes leaving the male. Who had started to walk towards you before he vanished as Donghun removed his hands from you. "Where?" Donghun questioned. "He's gone now, wait did I just see my first spirit?” you asked turning to face him as he glanced over your shoulder. "Did you really see nothing?" You asked as he shook his head looking at you puzzled. "Normally I can see the dead when I'm touching the person who can communicate with them," he explained. "But you were touching me," you said as his eyebrows furrowed. "Maybe with you I have to hold your hand or something," he said as he rubbed your shoulders with a smile. "But it proves your getting stronger. First a voice now a sighting," he said as he walked to the car. Your eyes raked where that man was once standing, now a complete empty area. But you felt as if his energy was still there causing a shiver down your spine. -------------------🔺-------------------

"What did you see?" Sharman Park said with his head tilting as he looks at you. "Why can I not see it?” he says looking frustrated as the wind blows the leaves from outside the temple. "Can you normally see what I'm thinking?" You ask despite knowing the answer. "If they mind letting their energy be seen," he whispers before looking to Donghun. "Or maybe I just have a different talent," you said causing him to smile his pretty little smile. "I held her and didn't see it neither. I can see even the vengeful ones normally," he said a little anxiously. "Do I need to hold her hand?" He asked the Sharman. "Well try it, see what happens," Sharman Park said as his eyes never left yours. "Y/N," Donghun said as his hands reached for yours as you looked between them both. "Calmly take it when your ready," The Sharman said, his eyes almost knowingly understanding your reluctance. Trying your best to gulp without Donghun noticing your apprehensions you pulled out your hands hoping they wasn't sweaty. Within minutes of touching the skin of your childhood crush.

Colour attacked you from the room as you felt dizzy, heart pumping fast that you knew it wasn't from your emotions towards Donghun. Then came darkness as you lost your vision collapsing into what fell like Donghun’s arms.

Taking a deep breath your opened to find the man you saw earlier. "Who are you?" You said in shakey breath as you moved from his warm grasps. "I'm Eric Sohn," he said as you suddenly realised his voice was the same from the woods. "Why am I here?" You said looking around the hallway you had entered. "Our house," he said watching you as you walked to a room to hold the doorknob. "Our?" You said turning to look at him but he was missing. Shaking your head you looked at the shut door. "This is just a dream," you whispered to yourself as you walked through to the room. The door slamming behind you leaving you alone. You took in the room, the beautiful pink decor with pink rose bedding on the double bed in the middle of the floor. By the headboard was the most beautiful wall mural you had ever seen. Ivy swirling around Angel cherubs. The detail told you that it was hand painted as you admired it. "It's beautiful isn't it?" You heard Eric's voice turning to expect to face him but the room remained empty. "It is, did you do this?" You asked to the empty room. "You did," was the only reply that came out. You turned to the voice from outside the door of the room. "My art is awful I can't do anything like that," you said walking to it hoping he would be on the other side of the door. "Only because you've locked it away, your artworks the most beautiful in the world," the voice said admiringly.

Opening the door, you saw him there leaning against the other side of the wall. "I'm confused," you said making your way towards him as he chuckled meeting you halfway. "You won't be soon, I promise," he said tucking a hair behind your ear. But before any words could follow through. The world you were sent to was taken from you, back to the outside surroundings of the temple.

"Y/N you ok?" Donghun said looking down to you full of concern. "Yeah I saw the man again, the one I heard in the woods," you said sounding wearily. "Did he hurt you?" Donghun asked as he sat you to sit up. "No, he didn't, he just confused me," you said looking at him as Sharman Park took your hands. "Anything?" Donghun said with concern as he looked to him shaking his head. "Is it vengeful?" Donghun said as Sharman Park looked at you more closely. "What did you see?" He questioned. "A house, a wall mural full of ivy and cherubs," you said briefly leaving out the words spoken between you and Eric. "I won't lie I'm unsettled. But I can't work out if that's because I can't see what she's seen, which I've never experienced. Or that theres something there we should be scared of," Park Sharman added as you looked to him confused. "You think Eric’s dangerous?" You said as the Sharman’s eyes opened wide hearing the name. "Is that his name Y/N?” he asked as you nodded. "He said his name was Eric Sohn, why does that mean something?" You asked as he shook his head. "No but it's something I can give to Hyunjae to research," he said smiling sweetly at you letting his hand leave. "Till then I don't want her working with me," Donghun said standing up. "I can see your concern, but we wanted her to work with her gift and she is. Let us not hinder it," Park Sharman said as Donghun tsssk into the air. "I won't lose her like I lost Yuchan," he said sounding upset. "Calm Lee Donghun, I can feel great things from her. Though she needs to be careful and not go thinking she's invincible. She will be ok as long as she's supervised," he said reassuring Donghun to no avail. "No I'm sorry I won't risk her not till I know that spirit is safe," Donghun said picking you up from the dusty wooded area floor. "Well as her mentor thats your choice to make. But a vengeful ghost will find her wherever she is. Whenever it is by your side under your watch or hidden away in a box," Sharman Park added. "I won't let her out my sight," Donghun added as he went to steer you out.

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"Right, I'm going to stay at yours till we work out who this spirit is," Donghun said as the car pulled up outside your house. "You automatically presume my mother will let you stay," you teased as he looked to you amused. "We both know she won't have any issue with that," he said as you chuckled his way knowing he was right. "Do you really think Eric is a vengeance spirit?" You asked as he looked at you with wary eyes. "I think he’s someone we need to treat as if he is, till we know for sure," Donghun said before getting out the car. You looked to the spot you saw Eric earlier but again it was empty.

As you both made your way to the door a gentleman appeared. His thick glasses with a geeky yet attractive visuals. "Are you Lee Donghun?" He asked as Donghun nodded. "I heard you deal with spiritual entities," he whispered looking anxious saying those words. "Yes, I do, but right now I've got an urgent case I'm dealing with," Donghun replied as the gentleman pushed his glasses up that clearly had slid down his nose. "I have a spirit that I'm sure is trying to tell me something, I feel him more then I see him. But when I do, he's angry, full of hate. It's like he wants me out my own house. I also have moments where I feel like someone else is in control of my body. Like I am just the spectator," the gentleman continued stuttering a little. "I know you must be terrified," Donghun sympathises as he touched his shoulder. "But we have a really important case right now that could be life or death," he says with fear in his own eyes. "But if you give me your details, I can contact you as soon as we are finished on this case," he adds. "Promise?” he asked with shakey breath clearly in fear of his entity in his home. "I promise," Donghun replied as the gentleman pulled out a card from his wallet.

"Life or death my ass," you said as you watched him enter his car looking depressed. "We could have taken the case on," you said jabbing him. "Y/N we can't it's dangerous for you," Donghun says his hands heavily on your shoulders. "Eric apparently is, who ever spirit he has, might not be," you said your face inches from his. "Y/N he said himself the ghost was angry it's possibly a vengeance ghost. Also Right now you seem to be extra sensitive that isn't what we need right now for you," Donghun glared. "Plus, I felt nothing when I touched him," he added as you shook your head. "You said you can see even vengeance ghosts. Maybe it's not with the data malfunction and it's you," you scoffed as he rolled his eyes. "Yeah both myself and Sharman Park are just having a malfunction," he said sarcastically. "Well who knows because you've had this issue twice with two different people," you bit back. "If its anything, it’s that my pain in ass past is annoying being some shield," he groaned as your eyes widened under his accusation. "So your saying it's me?" You whimpered. "Yes," he spat out as you threw your head back unable to find words to throw at him. "So in the meantime that poor bloke’s going to be scared in his own home," you said in another attempt to change his mind. "No we will deal with it when everything's been solved and it's safe," he said focusing on the word safe.

Noticing the man still In his car from the bathroom window, you creep down past Donghun chatting with your mum to go to him. If Donghun wasn't going to help him you wasn't going to let that stop. As Sharman Park said, Your talent should grow not be hindered. Reaching the car the man looks startled to see you standing there. "Hi," he said getting out and greeting you. "Why are you still here?" You asked suspicious hitting that he had waited around. "I don't know, I just haven't got it in me to leave, I'm just so desperate," he whimpered as you put your hand to his arm for comfort.

Like with Donghun the bright colours, racing heart, and dizziness causes you to pass out returning you back to the room once again.

"Really," you stomp your feet annoyed at the journey to get here. "Like could you have done it any other way then have me pass out," you scream into the air hoping Eric will reply. But instead the light bright room is empty of him or his voice. Instead the sunlight outside the room darkens. "Ok ok Eric I get it your vengeful," you spit out hoping for a reply as the room falls to pitch darkness. Fear creeps up you as you feel suffocated in this dark space alone from Donghun and the friendly features that Eric showed earlier. "Please don't let them be right about you," you whimper in fear hoping Eric will appear in the form you want him to. Instead gargled sounds and thuds on the floor hit out as you screech out. "This must be that man’s world," you whisper in denial. "Wake up," you hear Eric’s voice scream out in the distance. "I would if I could," you cry in panic as you walk towards the sound. Hands feeling for the doorknob hoping it will reach him like it did last time. "Wake up," you hear again a little angrier as your hands find the doorknob. Pulling it open the hallway is no lighter, your hands reaching out to walk forward till they bump into a body. "Eric please say that’s you," you say out hopeful. But instead, you see red angry eyes appear in your view. "I said wake up," Eric’s voice hits from the body your seeing draped in darkness and evil.

"Y/N," you hear from Donghun’s voice as you turn to the darken room. "Donghun I'm here I can't wake up," you scream to the silence as you feel your body shake. Bright lights attack your eyes as you wake whimpering to see Donghun’s worried face holding you once more. "It's ok, it's ok, I got you," he says as you shake in fear in his arms. "It was dark," you cry out not letting him know about what you saw with Eric. "It's ok, I got you," Donghun repeated as he sat holding you while the gentleman watched on. "Does she need anything?" He said with equal concern. "No Mr Kim," Donghun spat out with anger laced in his tone. "Let's get you indoors ok," Donghun said helping to lift you from the floor. Your eyes take Mr Kim and he looks at you with pure worry as his glasses slide down his nose. "I’ll be back to speak to you in a minute just please let me get her inside," Donghun says more calmer. "Ok Mr Lee, take your time," Mr Kim reply's as Donghun takes you inside.

But before you can get to the door he pulls you to look at him. "Why did you do that? I told you it was dangerous," he spat out. "Because I wanted to help," you reply as his jaw tenses in anger. "Y/N you fucking passed out and went somewhere we couldn't get you from," he growled. "I woke up though," you replied barely audible. "What if you didn't, I've already lost one person under my wing. I can't afford to lose another," he spat out. "I'm not Yuchan," you hit back feeling stronger. "No your not, he had years under his belt, he was stronger and he listened to me," Donghun spat out hurting your pride. "Anyway, I think that little experiment of yours is enough to tell me that this won't work," he said a little more strict toned. "What?" You gasped. "This is too dangerous for you, I won't work with you. Tomorrow you're going to the temple to somehow get this gift of yours removed. You need to be closed off instead of your third eye opened up," Donghun said almost like he was trying to convince himself. "You make it sound like I wanted this gift for myself," you cried out. "Knowing you you probably did," Donghun said tossing his hands in despair through his hair. "Donghun," you cried out hurt with his words. "Look enoughs been said you need rest, you've passed out twice with these encounters today, we will sort this out tomorrow," he said more softer. "What about Mr Kim?” you asked with concern. "I think Byeongkwan and Changmin can deal with his vengeance spirit, because I'm now one man down, again.” Donghun added as you rolled your eyes walking inside your home. Once in the quiet you threw your head at the back of the wall. No way on this earth you were going to let this go. You were going to train even harder just to prove a point, especially to Donghun.

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Sharman Park refused to accept Donghun’s demands, instead keeping you there to help train you himself. Each day made you feel stronger just from the constant mediation and deeply inhaled essences around the temple. Donghun had only visited once to speak with Hyunjae. His research hadn't proven fruitful and they couldn't prove or unprove if Eric Sohn was peaceful or vengeful. Donghun had only spoken briefly to you but that wasn't his fault. It was more to do with you pretending to meditate when he arrived. Just to put two fingers to him that you could be taught by someone that wasn't him. -------------------🔺-------------------

After a couple of weeks, you decided to leave the temple, Sharman Park happily authorising. Entering your quiet home you found a pile of letters on the table in your name. While opening one of them a get well card was pulled from its envelope.

I'm sorry if I caused any stress. Hope your feeling better soon

Mr Kim Sehyoon. Xx

"Ahh bless him," you said to the silence. You wondered if he got the help he needed. Knowing Donghun wouldn't update you, you run to your bag. Inside was the card with his details that Donghun accidentally dropped outside your house on the way to the temple. Ringing him you waited till he picked up.

"Hi Mr Kim, it's Kim Y/N here, I don't know if you remember me,", "I do how are you feeling?” the happy voice in the phone cut you off. "I'm good I'm doing much better thanks," you replied. "I was just wondering did you get your situation sorted," you asked as he breathed in deep in the background. "In all honesty, not yet, Mr Lee got me in contact with Mr Ji. But sadly him and his colleague are also working on an important case right now," he said with a sadden voice. "How would you feel if I came to yours, we could talk more about it. I'm not promising much as I'm not that talented, but I can try to help," you said waiting for the silence of the other end. "What's up Mr Kim?” you asked fearing the words you knew would come. "Mr Lee said that under no circumstances am I to meet you again," he said as your anger brewed. "Mr Lee is no longly working with me so no doubt that's why he said that," you replied as the silence continued for a short couple of seconds. "I'm sorry to hear that, he seemed to care a lot about you," Mr Kim replied. "It's a facade trust me. Look let me visit, if I can fix the issue then that's great. And if I can't Mr Lee don't even need to know I was there," you said down the phone. "I know your scared and I could maybe help free you from the fear your experiencing," You pleaded. "Ok," he reluctantly agreed. "But I would rather come to you instead of mine, incase it's too much for you," he replied as you agreed.

Waiting for the door to go you found him stood there, the face you hadn't seen in weeks. He was standing right behind Mr Kim who walked into your home with him following.

"Thanks for coming Mr Kim," you said as you sat down in the living room, your eyes between him and Eric. "He's called Sehyoon," Eric muttered for attention. "You can talk with me comfortably, call me Sehyoon," he said sitting down. Eric looked at you with the expression told you so, on his features. "Ok," you said smiling at him unsure of his reason to be attached this second to Eric. "Do you know a Eric Sohn by any chance?" You asked as Sehyoon pursed his lips in thought. "No I don't think I do, my memory isn't always great though," he said softly. "Why do you ask?" Sehyoon asked as Eric smirked your way. "Just a name that popped into my head," you lied as Eric chuckled. "Just a name am I?" He replied arms folded as you tried to block him out. Why was he suddenly appearing and for a lot longer then before. Had your talent got stronger? "So how long have you lived in your home?" You asked. "Only a year, I should have taken note that it been on the market several times. But I saw the bargain fee to buy it and ran like a fool," Sehyoon said as Eric bit back a chuckle. "Greed gets a man every time," Eric spat out as you inwardly rolled your eyes. "How soon did things begin to happen?" You questioned further. "Instantly as soon as I paid for it, I would get these weird flash of things I couldn't understand, bizarre dreams. That was before even stepping into the home. Once I was there theirs this heavy darkness feeling, like I'm not wanted. Things get thrown, I see shadows and worse I dream of nothing but death," he whimpers. "That sounds awful," you reply sympathetically. "Sounds like you pissed off hell," Eric grumbles as you look to him with annoyance earning him to smirk as he pokes his tongue into his cheeks. Closing your eyes trying to ignore how attractive he looked then, your eyes take Sehyoon's looking slightly taken aback. "Can you see someone?" He asks as your eyes widen. "Don't worry he seems to be my problem ghost not yours," you bit out looking at Eric. "Yours? told you you were mine," he said winking seductively as you shook your head. "Anything else happened bizarrely?" You asked as he ponders for a second. "My art inspiration is threw the roof I draw so many different kind of arts. Which isn't abnormal but always includes cherubs," he says as Eric shuffles in his chair. "Look I can show you," he says as he gets his phone to show, but Eric grabs it from him. Sehyoon looks in fear at what possibly looks like a dangling phone in the air. Leaning over you snatch it from Eric himself, his view a little more tense. "Hey I want to be nosey," Eric said reapplying his composure. "Well do it on your time not mine," you bit out as Your eyes took Sehyoon. "It's ok this ones harmless I promise, annoying but harmless," you add looking to Eric briefly. Looking at the photos of his art work you saw all the different art work with cherubs being his feature. Then one photo had you freeze to the spot it was a drawing of Ivy swirls around cherubs? Just like the one you saw in the house when you passed out. Dropping the phone you looked to Eric as he had his eyes closed full of anger. "What's going on why is that here? you said shakey towards him.

But before you could reach your hand to touch his shoulder, he throws his hand towards you. Like it some sort of power it launches you towards the ceiling as Sehyoon whimpers terrified. "Eric," you cry out but he looks angry, his eyes growling red. "You're not evil," you whimper as you feel a pressure around your neck. "Don't search any further, I won't let you," he growls as the room gets colourful once more. Instead of fear you feel ready to greet him in his world.

Opening your eyes you see the curtains of the bedroom as you realised your in bed. Feeling the naked skin of a body behind you you look to find Eric. "Morning Princess,” he says as you smile turning to face him. Instead of questions words fall from your mouth as if he's yours. "Morning," you smile wrapping your arms around his waist letting his toned chest flush against your face. "Did you sleep ok?" He asks as you nod enjoying the warmth of his tight hold. You feel happiness and totally in love with him. "I’ve got to get up soon and start painting," you say feeling foreign because art isn't your thing. "Can't it wait just some minutes, I don't want to let you go yet," Eric chuckles as he peppers kisses along your forehead. "I won't say no to that," you say as your own lips press kisses to his chest. He cups your face to look at you as his lips fall to yours. They are soft as he slowly tenderly lets his mouth roam yours. Laying you on your back he lets his kisses fall down your chest. His member heavy against your thighs lets you know he wants to ravish you. You want nothing more to have him making love to you right this second.

But instead of making love to him you're in the room a little more darker as night is upon you. Paint brush in your hand as you tilt to look at the art work you've done. Long swirls of ivy which has taken weeks to do over two angel cherubs. "That's so Beautiful our two future babies'," Eric said back hugging you as his lips fall to your neck. "I thought you wanted more then two," you chuckle despite feeling a little uncomfortable. "I do but if it's just two you want then that's what we got to go with. As long as your happy and healthy and so are they then I don't care how many we have," he says spinning you to face him. He looks at you with pure devotion in his eyes as he strokes your hair. But you feel something saddening in the pitt of your stomach. Like if he knows he won't want you no more. "I love you so much my beautiful wife," he chuckles as your heart feels like it's about to explode. "I love you too Sohn," you reply going onto tip toes to kiss him passionately.

Suddenly the room is pitch black, Eric is sat in a pentagon in candlelight. His tears red and angry you make your way to comfort him. But your hand just goes through his body like your the ghost. "Eric snap out of it," you whimper scared on his behalf. "Please, please, god hates me. He won't listen, I want death. I’ll do what ever you want me to do. Just give me death, let me go from this horrible world," he begs tears falling down his eyes in pure pain. "Eric please don't wish for that," you sob as a tear falls down your eyes too. But you know he can't hear your voice.

Falling to the floor you still realise your in the dark room, Eric’s world still continuing. Your feet feel wet as you pull them to you. But instead of water theirs enough light from the street light shining in the opening of the curtain, that you can tell that it's blood on your hands. Fearing Eric's death at his own hands you leap up to search the body. But instead of finding him you freeze to the spot when you find yourself. Heavy breath above you you look up to find a outline of a man. “Knife in his hand still dripping in the blood of the version of you on the floor. "Who are you?" You cry out shakily in fear hoping death in this world doesn't mean the same out there. The door behind is opened briefly to let in enough light that shows the face of your murderer.

Throat tightening you almost choke when you see Eric’s face looking past you at who ever’s standing behind. "No, No you didn't, why, why when you said you loved me," you cried out in fear as you crawled slightly backwards as you slipped on the blood hitting your head on the floor board.

"Y/N," you hear to your relief Donghun’s voice as you wake up in his arms. "Is she ok?" You hear Sehyoon behind in fear. Your eyes open briefly as you feel lightheaded struggling for focus. But through them you see Eric looking in fear at you. "Why? Why did you kill me?" You whimper as your focus takes him in properly. "No ones killed you don't be dramatic," Donghun said unaware of Eric's presence. "Eric answer me," you demand as you see tears fall down his eyes. "See I told you it's was some ghost called Eric. She said it was her problem ghost," Sehyoon said behind you. "Sorry, sorry," Eric said before allowing himself to disappear.

"Y/N what are you seeing?" Donghun asks shaking you. "He killed me," you whisper unsure what you saw even if you knew enough it wasn't real. "But I know he didn't mean to," you add as he tilts his head down towards you. "Who? this Eric guy?" Donghun asks for confirmation. "We were in love, crazy in love, and then he just killed me, he killed me after he asked for the devil. Wait was I the sacrifice," you splutter out as words was floating around your head, none of it really making sense. "Woah slow down your confusing me," Donghun said out. "But first let's get you off the floor," he said helping you to sit on a chair next to Sehyoon. "What happened, start from the beginning, don't leave anything out," he demands as you and Sehyoon explain the events that unfolded. Donghun stays silent listening occasionally throwing his hand through his hair looking uncomfortable. "Right let's get you something to eat, I will ring Byeongkwan and then we will go through this again,” he said as he looked to Sehyoon. "Thanks for ringing me, but I can handle it from now," he said to him. "Ok, let me know how you are later ok?" He says looking towards you as you smile his way. "No she won't. I knew she was too weak for this all, I don't want her part of this," Donghun ordered. "Donghun," you cried out as he put his hand to you to shhh you. "Ok I won't, I promise. I don’t want her hurt anymore," Sehyoon said standing up looking distraught. "I'll see myself out," he said, taking one look at you before he walked out. "Part of this? I'm already part of this Eric made sure of that," you cry out. "Or have you forgot he's my spirit not Sehyoon's," you add as he leans his head into his hands. "Donghun this is my job to fix this, my job to sort this," you said touching his shoulder as he glances at you. "Y/N your out your depth, this is Changmin and Byeongkwan's area of expertise to sort out,” Donghun says seriously. "But it's not happening to them it's happening to me, like you wanted it to. You were the one that took me to those woods," you shot out as he stood up straight. "And I regret it I truly do, because now you have an vengeful spirit attachment," Donghun says with deep concern laced in his voice. "Eric isn't vengeful," you spat out refusing to believe that despite everything you had witnessed. "Yeah because a friendly ghost pins their victim to the ceiling unconsciously. Takes her god knows where to witness her own future death," he shouts out. "Don't you get it if you saw your own death he's predicting it," Donghun continue shaking with anger. "How can he be vengeful if he’s pre-warning me, he's clearly trying to find a way to stop it happening. Which is easy because I just avoid falling in love with him then it won't happen," you spat out still numb and confused to what you viewed. "Love with him pfft," he added rather annoyed. "Well At least he acknowledged me, so it’s not that hard to think possible," you reply. "He's a ghost Y/N one who keeps hurting you, one we can't read or understand or know anything about him to that fact," Donghun says looking close to losing the will to live. "He has no footprint. No Eric Sohn has ever lived, not one that fits your descriptions," he says his eyes heavily focused on you. "What are you saying he gave me a false name to hide his evil background?" You question as he looks at you with a widened eyes smile, pointing out the obvious. "No, your men just are not talented like you think," you scoff out as he rolled his eyes hitting the table. "You've spent a few minutes in his company and suddenly he's an angel himself. Yet you've known me mostly all your life and can't trust me when I'm saying this is dangerous,” he says leaving words to fail you as silence falls. Enough’s enough we need to find a way to stop these sessions with Eric," Donghun said exhausted. "So no Sehyoon," he demanded.

"You going to remove yourself too?" You question arms folded. "What are you on about?" He asked rolling his eyes your way. "You forget that I've had these experiences with you too, in-fact more with you. You going to ban yourself from seeing me?" You ask as he chuckled mockingly. "As if I’m that lucky," he bit back hurting. "If you see me as the unluck in your life why did you come here then," you questioned hurt. "Because Sehyoon rang me crying in fear because my stupid ass friend was dead on the ceiling. What did you want me to do just go ok thanks for telling me just pray for her," he spat out. "You thought I was dead?" You asked more softly. "No I didn't, sehyoon did," he said more calmer. "But yes my heart did stop when I saw you on that ceiling silent and unconscious," he said looking up at you his hands looking like it wanted to touch you. "Because of Yuchan," he said trying to convince himself more then you. "You worried about me?” you said feeling confident to cup his face. His eyes watery looked your way. "It makes me feel good that you care about me," you whisper feeling the electricity shoot between you both. "I have to care about you I'm responsible for you," he reply's sounding once more like he’s convincing himself. "Please stop putting yourself in danger," he begs as a tear escapes. You press your forehead to his as he lets his hands fall to your shoulders. "I can't lose you too," he whimpers once more in pain. "You won't i promise," you said letting your lips touch his. As confidence you felt was alien to you hit through, you were taken back when he kissed you back. Tongues massaging yours as his hands pulled you closer to him. Hands falling to his back to grab hold of his T-shirt as you lose yourself.

He suddenly pushed you away looking at you with horror. "Sorry Y/N we can't, we shouldn't," he said standing from the chair as your eyes tried to search for his. "Donghun I like you, I always have," you said out unsure what was encouraging you to reveal yourself. "I can't do this," he said walking out the room as you threw your head to the table. What ever confidence you were sure Eric threw into you was in vain to bring your own rejection.

The living room door opened once more. Donghun returning. His eyes glazed over as he stormed towards you. "Fuck it," he growls as his lips hastily and much more desperate hit yours. His deep fierce kisses pushed you towards the walls, your hands falling to his hips as he rolled himself against you. Hands fall to his shirt as you remove in your heated passionate moment. Dragging your teeth down your lips at the naked top half on view. “You like?” he teases as you nod. "My turn," he growls as he pulls on your own as he hums with appreciation as he takes you in. Unzipping himself he pulls out his red angry cock. Your hands go to touch him, but he pulls your hands up above you. His lips taking a fresh amount of kisses before he continues. Pumping himself you let your bottoms fall as he smirks to himself. Flicking a leg behind his hip, his hands rest under the curve of your ass as he places his head by your entrance. Kissing you further he pushes in as you moan into his mouth.

But suddenly the kisses change to slow and tender, his vibe changing completely. His eyes red tinted as his expression switch to Eric's. He thrusts into you with desperation, fast heavy precise thrusts that have you crying in ecstasy. You watch as his view switches back to Donghun and your walls tighten around him. "Your mine," he says in Eric's voice and your torn from the seduction of them both. You should be terrified or scared but instead the view and sound of them both is having your walls choke around him. The difference in both of their moans a blended mixture of heaven to your ears. "Donghun," you cry out as you feel close to the edge. "You know it's me, say my name," Eric says as his face shifts back. "You belong to me, I will get you back to me again, I promise," he threatens. "Cum on this cock," he says nipping your jaw line as you meet his thrusts. "That's my good Princess," he coos as your hand finds his hair. But as they gel through, Donghun's features return. "Let go," he says deeply that has your stomach coil tight. Your high is so near. Lips fall back to your lips as they nip at you, the pitches of his high tells you he's close too. Growling as he fills you up with his warm cum spurs you into yours. Eric grabbing the last feature as your nails grip into his body convulsing violently as you fall apart from your orgasm. "That's right Princess, you came with me remember that," he whispers in to your ear as you lean onto him panting.

Silence fills the air as you both catch your breath. From the tone of his breathing you can tell it's Donghun back. "You should get some rest while I call Byeongkwan," Donghun said into the silence and sweet kisses he made against your crown. You nodded as you watched him get changed handing you your clothes back. "I’ll be outside taking this call ok. Please go to your room and get some sleep, You must be exhausted." He said reassuringly as you nodded. You watched him leave, your body rebelled falling into the wall.

What just happened? Did you sleep with Donghun or Eric? Or was it even both of them? The images Eric took you too earlier coming back to memory. Your mind felt like it was so overwhelmed with everything it couldn't even grasp what was going on. Who was Eric to you? Was Eric your future or was he your past?

----------------------🔺---------------- Donghun POV

"Byeongkwan we need to do something immediately, he’s going to kill her if we don't," you plead down the phone. "What's happened?" Your friend reply's as you close your eye trying to forget all the things you just saw. "I saw it with my own eyes, he’s going to use her as a sacrifice," Donghun cried out. "Please I can't lose her, we need to save her," you sob down the phone. "It's ok Hyung we got a plan, hold in there," he said reassuringly your way. Looking back towards the door to the house you closed your eyes adjusting to what just happened. You just allowed Eric Sohn to have Sex with the women you loved in your body.

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