#no communication outside of work hours. but person u go ''cool'' when u see ur both workin that day

[newgroundstier]

duo of weirdos. weirduo

[clansayeed]

Bound by Circumstance ― Chapter 24: Better the Devil You Don’t (Epilogue)

PAIRING: Nik Ryder x trans*M!MC (Taylor Hunter) RATING: Mature

⥼ MASTERLIST ⥽

⥼ Bound by Circumstance ⥽

Taylor Hunter (MC) has made it good for himself in New Orleans; turns out moving to a new city fresh out of college to reinvent yourself isn’t as hard as people make it out to be. Things only start to get confusing when he finds himself the target of a malevolent wraith. Good thing someone’s looking out for him though — because without Nighthunter Nik Ryder as his bodyguard he definitely won’t survive long in the twisting darkness of the supernatural underworld he’s tripped into.

Bound by Circumstance and the rest of the Oblivion Bound series is an ongoing dramatic retelling project of the book Nightbound and the rest of the Bloodbound series. Find out more [HERE].

Note: Circumstance only loosely follows the events and plotline of Nightbound, and features a separate antagonist, different character motivations, and further worldbuilding.

*Let me know if you would like to be added to the Circumstance/series tag list!

⥼ Chapter Summary ⥽

Someone does right by Cadence.

note: And with that Bound by Circumstance is ended! I’ll start posting book 3, Bound by Choice, in a day or so! Book 3 is the only book in the series not based off of an existing Choices book, and follows the story of the Trinity in a series of flashback vignettes. Taylor and the Nightbound gang will return in book 4!

Also, Bound by Choice is currently in-progress, as opposed to books 1 & 2 which were completed at the time of posting. Once I catch up on the last chapters posted, my updating schedule will go to the weekly update my AO3 is on.

[READ IT ON AO3]

A few weeks later…

[TEXT]: hurry up [TEXT]: where r u??? [TEXT]: ur loss I’m not waiting [TEXT]: BUZZKILL!!! [TEXT]: pic.jpg

The picture does it — finally draws his attention away from his computer to where his phone screen changes from 01:07 to 01:08 as if to taunt him.

It takes Cadence a moment to realize the woman next to Kathy in her (blurry) self-taken photo is supposed to be Ivy. So used to seeing her true form in person — but glamours don’t fade on digital recording.

And who else do they know dresses like she’s always ready to attend a Victorian funeral?

In his friend’s defense Cade was supposed to be at the Shift over an hour ago.

She’ll hear his excuses and his apologies, pretend as though he’s committed the greatest sin in history — but come sunrise and sobriety he’ll be forgiven. The Nighthunter likes to make everyone think she’s the picture of cool nonchalance; the human equivalent of a cat.

But anyone who feeds strays knows just how affectionate cats can be when they so choose.

He shuts down his work, fighting the instinctual habit to leave most of it out and make his space look clean by pushing it to the sides of his desk — actually putting things back in their folders and boxes.

Tap-tap.

His head jerks up quick enough for his glasses to threaten flight. Working in this particular space for over a decade now, there isn’t anyone who doesn’t know about Odd Cadence and his odd hours; how he refuses to work in the daylight due to a debilitating allergy.

Even Gary from night maintenance wouldn’t bother.

Tap-tap.

He listens for a heartbeat. Can hear everything from the rush of water through old plumbing to the coo of pigeons scavenging on the outside Square.

Tap—

Isadora de la Rosa doesn’t get to finish her genteel knocking; pale hand hovering just shy of the taller vampire’s collarbone as he holds the door open.

She looks a little dumbfounded for him to have answered. That’s silly, though, since she was in his territory now.

The air is thick with a tension not felt since Mardi Gras those weeks ago. She looks ready to turn and leave without a word between them. He almost lets her.

“Izzy,” by way of greeting, and even though she now runs the dynasty her father built he struggles to call her anything but the petulant youthful human woman he first met her as, “I was just heading out.”

He gives her a chance; sees the opportunity for escape that flickers in her weathered eyes no longer young but no less defiant by nature.

Some people were just born ready to stand their ground. He always admired that about her.

“This won’t take long.”

One step forward, one step back. A familiar dance neither acknowledges as Isadora invites herself into his space. She’s not the oldest thing in the room by far, nor the most expensive. Still she commands the air around her to whisper softer, for the floorboards under her heels to wait until she passes to creak.

“Sure, come on in…”

She makes a point of trying to keep an arms’ length between her body and any clutter. He won’t apologize for it, not to her. She was half the reason he’s like this.

“I’m glad to see the Museum is treating you well.”

“Uh-huh.” He’s never met a de la Rosa good at small talk. He still hasn’t.

But she keeps trying. It’s hard not to cringe at every forced word, how she purposefully finds something to look at and mention; “New project, I see.”

Cadence doesn’t answer. She switches a black leather briefcase from one hand to the other; a poised woman’s version of shuffling her feet.

“You always were best kept —”

“I have somewhere to be.”

Her quirked brow says it all; how she definitely doesn’t believe him but calling him out on it is somehow counterproductive to why she’s here.

Why is she here?

Because the only reason he can conjure up has to do with the Coven, and the Council, and that’s why they’re enjoying nights like these at the Shift. To forget about everything that happened — to move on.

“Look, Izzy — if this is something that can wait, can it? I’ve got office hours tomorrow night—or hell, I’ll even come ‘round to the family house. But I do have somewhere to be, and I’m already late.”

When she takes stock of the room again he understands. It’s a tactic — and not a very good one — to allow her to think.

They’ve never been like this before. So why now?

It’s a brief flicker; blink-and-you-miss-it type. But Cadence doesn’t miss it — how Izzy stares at the chair claimed by Katherine in permanent marker.

“You’re going to meet her, the Nighthunter.”

“My friend Katherine, yes. Among others.”

“She treads dangerous waters in this town.”

It sounds a little too much like a threat for Cade’s comfort. Makes it a real effort to keep from letting it get to him.

“I think the same could be said for any hunter.” For Katherine, for Ryder.

“Yes, you would know,” she clasps the case handle with both hands over her front; a shield between them, “though this one — she’s different, isn’t she? She’s well-connected.”

Like he’s been fumbling around in the dark of his head — he finally finds the lamp chain and tugs. Lets the light flood through with an “Ah” of understanding.

So that’s what this is about.

“Contrary to what you may believe this isn’t the same world Carlo built his dynasty in. Humans — even Nighthunters and especially out-of-towners — they don’t whisper the rules to one another anymore.” Then, with firm conviction; “Katherine didn’t know she needed to ask your father for permission to bring Adrian Raines into town.”

“But you did.”

“Yeah, I did.”

If she’s here to enact some sort of delayed punishment, Cadence can’t promise he’ll stay civil. “I weighed the risks carefully,” he continues, “and decided it was best for everyone that no one knew who didn’t need to know.” Not that it had been a good choice. Maybe it could have saved Raines at his trial.

Sometimes he wonders why the two of them didn’t work out — especially when she was Turned. It wasn’t because of her perceived age, and obviously being his boss’ daughter hadn’t stopped them from getting involved in the first place.

He always remembers not a moment later. There’s a reason the term is ‘opposites attract.’ They were too similar — too hot in the head and both prone to speaking and acting without thinking ahead. Without considering the consequences.

So when she isn’t sneering an insult at him on the heels of Cade actually admitting to his wrongdoing… he knows something is very wrong.

“Izzy…?”

And the smile she offers is too forced, too fake. Sends shivers down his spine. “I’m glad you see things that way.”

“What way?”

She unclasps the briefcase with a flick of her little fingers. “That sometimes, in rare cases I think, withholding knowledge from someone is for the best; for all parties involved.

“I had prepared to give you this the night of the Minotaur’s championship fight…” The leather bound folder she pulls free is familiar only in that he’s seen the de la Rosa lawyers carry them like extensions of their hands. “And I have spent many hours since debating whether or not I made the right choice in keeping it close. Watching you in the cage — that made it easier.”

“Something’s happening, Kath—”

“Don’t fight it. Let it swallow you whole.”

Let it swallow you whole.

Katherine couldn’t possibly have known just how accurate she had been.

How it felt to stand at the edge of a yawning abyss no one else could see… and how it felt to have the ground fall out from under his feet the moment he decided to jump.

Memories of what happened after his meeting with Isadora still only came to him in clusters. It was less the act of remembering than feeling the same way — sensory triggers like the smell of blood or the tinny grate of a chain link fence.

Of course she had seen the fight. There were members of the underground community still who approached him on the street with praise for his ‘performance,’ or thanking him for standing up to the illegal deals Persephone covered with velvet and glitter.

But there’s a difference between knowing something and knowing it. Knowing the same hand he used to caress her cheek had also torn off the Minotaur’s horn. Knowing she was witness to it…

Isadora’s touch is solid, without the heat humans bring or the chill they feel. It simply is as she gives him the folder with no other choice. Whatever secrets rest inside they are his burden now.

“What you see here… I ask that you please not think less of me for keeping it from you. I was…” she doesn’t give an excuse — not a single one, “I was doing what I thought was right. But I cannot be the one to make that choice anymore. It’s too much Cadence; it’s far too much.”

He means to find comfort or some understanding in their hands. But there’s none to be found.

They pull away as intimate strangers. The space between them cavernous and echoing — and it only grows wider as he realizes she isn’t the one creating it.

He doesn’t need to ask what mystery he now holds.

What other mystery is there but the thing that has plagued him from their first “hello” to this their last “goodbye?”

Cadence’s voice is calm, even to his own ears. “Is this everything?”

“All that my daughter could find among his possessions.”

“And if I have any questions…”

“No,” she interrupts, “no you may not bring them to me. I would rather meet the sun than invite the conflict this will bring into my city, to my family’s doorstep.”

He wants to call her selfish but can’t say he wouldn’t be the same way were their roles reversed.

It’s a nice fantasy—altruism, kindness, doing the right thing so as not to hurt someone close—but it is a fantasy.

So what if he carried the ring she returned to him for a decade in mourning?

And intuition is a very separate thing from mind-reading; that he knows. In Isadora, though, the lines between them have always been a little smudged.

“In case you have any ideas of this meaning…” she breathes and tries again, “just know this has nothing to do with our past, Cadence. Consider this to be an act of release. Beyond what the Council will ask of us, I wash my hands of you.”

Isadora’s decision is as clear now as it was then. She will always choose her family over him. He can’t begrudge her that in the least.

“If only it were that simple.” But it’s probably for the best.

She leaves as abruptly as she arrived. Somehow with the ability to disrupt everything in his space without touching a single thing. As he looks around the office now it feels tainted with secrets and lies; all the things he still doesn’t know that now rest in his hand.

He need only look.

The chair is less than five steps away but he can’t muster the energy to move both his legs and arms; chooses the latter because what comparison is comfort to answers?

Cadence opens the folder and begins to read.

[velvetgons]

hyunsuk as your boyfriend

word count; 3.3k i’m sorry 

warnings; hmm i don’t think anything but possibly swearing i can’t be sure!! 

requested; no uwu i’m a new blog :) 

(also to gif makers; if you don’t want me to use your gif for any reason please just tell me and i’ll remove it!! apologies in advance if that’s the case!!) 

gif credit; bggon on tumblr!! please tell me if you’d like it removed :)

ok so uh let’s just give it a lil background

you decide to go out n get some new clothes bc u know. u got some extra money to spend why not

and you take some of your friends!! and you’re shopping and having a good time and everything is great

until you see this cute lil blue dress and you’re like ‘that’s The One, i need that dress……very necessary to my daily life’

so you tell your friends that you’re just gonna go find your size and they’re all “yes!! get the cute dress!! we’ll see you at the check-out!!”

so you’re about to grab the dress when you see,, the exact same dress except this time! it’s in red

so now you’re completely torn obviously because :// do you want the blue one or the red one,, they’re both cute,, but what’s gonna look nicer on you,,

and you’re just kinda stood there staring at them both because it turns out both colours have your size and now you don’t know what to do with urself

n just as your about to pout and go find one of your friends to help you pick you hear a Boy VoiceTM  

and it’s just a quiet lil, “you should get the red one!”

but it makes you turn around because whom said that to you

and you see….a cute boy….just kinda smiling at you while he looks at a shirt or something,, and he smiles even bigger when you look at him and just kinda shrugs before saying, “it’s a prettier colour!!”

part of you is like ?? i’m not gonna get the red one just because a random stranger thinks it’s a cool colour

but the other part of you wins because it’s like “:) you’re right red is a rlly cute colour :) i’ll get this one thank u fashion advice stranger”

and he smiles back at you before he turns back to the clothes he’s looking at and you know you’re supposed to just grab the dress and go now

but. you,, want the cute boy stranger to turn around again,, so u grab another random two articles of clothing and tap him on the back to be like “what about out of these two??”

and you just. keep doing it. and he keeps answering,, to the point where he doesn’t even turn around anymore because he’s giving you all his Focus

so now you have an armful of clothes that ur not gonna buy and he’s offering to carry some for u while u get them checked out and ur like “haha! of course! this is a great idea!”

and like. he isn’t dumb he knows what ur doing so he’s like. hyping himself up in his head like ‘come on!!! she’s clearly into you!! you’ve got this!! just…ask her out and if she says no! it’s all good! we’ve got this bro!’

so he takes a deep ass breath (n u think for a second that you’ve done something wrong) n is like “or…u could like idk man just…idk get the cute red dress and wear it…when i pick you up for a date…maybe like…tomorrow or something…” and in his head it sounds really smooth n nonchalant

but in reality it’s just a jumble of incoherence but you heard date and tomorrow so you’re like “yes!!!!!!!!!! yes this is Very Good i am free tomorrow pls do that” n give him your phone to save his number in

and he’d save it as ‘fashion god (a.k.a hyunsuk)’ with like fifty hearts next to it

((also as a side note you’d have to text him ur own name because he wouldn’t even ask for it in the store…… a charismatic king))

and that would be the story you’d have to give to your kids one day about how you met their dad :) very romantic

anyway! with that being said! let’s get into actually dating him

hyunsuk is a Loud Boy and is most of the time a Happy Boy

and he would constantly try and make sure that you’re feeling equally as happy as him because!! he really just hates the idea of you being upset or down

he hates it so much when your upset because of something outside of his control (like school, work, college) because he just doesn’t know how to fix it?? and he’d resort to doing really dumb stuff to get you to smile at him !! because seeing you :( makes his heart physically hurt

honestly he would melt if you did the same thing for him…..like….if you showed clear concern for him or hyped him up in anything he does the babey smile you know the one loll and feels his heart go zooooooom

i don’t think he’d actively go out of his way to show affection in public but it would definitely just happen

like. sometimes he’s just walking and the next thing he knows he’s tangling his hand with yours and giving your knuckles each a lil kiss

or you’re standing in front of him and his arms just kinda outstretch and pull you really close to him and he’s burying his face into the crook of your neck

or you’re just stood next to him minding your business when you’re tugged into his side and feel him leaving lil kisses on your cheeks while he calls you cute

all of his friends are Disgusted and beg him to not do that right in front of them 24/7 but like. he genuinely doesn’t notice until he’s already done it

however! if you initiated affection (in public) he,,,, blushes,,

in private you two are always attached somehow so it’s more unusual for you two not to be touching

his favourite form of affection would be when you were cuddling and you snuggled your face into his chest ! he’d literally go blank for a second before he’d yell something abt u being cute

i also personally see hyunsuk as someone who would wanna talk about so much all the time??? like…his mind is just buzzing with stuff all the time and he’d love having someone to share that with

and you’d have to do this late at night a lot (because of his schedule) but when he’d come to yours and if you were still awake, you’d both kinda just lay facing each other in bed with ur pinkies linked really loosely while you talked about a bunch of different stuff

they’d be long conversations too!!! you wouldn’t need to ask each other what you’d been up to that day because you’d be talking pretty much all day oof

so you’d be talking to each other about random stuff you thought of!! he’ll ask you about your views on stuff like ghosts and aliens and conspiracy theories, and you’ll get to hear his, and he’ll talk to you about his favourite songs and why they’re his favourites and he’ll really want you to explain yours too, he’d also ask dumb stuff like “do u think fish can see water” and would want a genuine answer 

but overall those would go on for hours and you’d only know he was ready to finally sleep when he curled an arm around your waist to pull you closer to him

speaking of cuddling!! hyunsuk would go between being the little spoon or having you lie on his chest to sleep

he loves being the little spoon because,, it’s such a warm experience,, so safe,, and bundled up,, and he’d definitely wrap himself up in a blanket before doing it for Maximum Comfort

but! he also loves having you sleep on his chest because “you’re my baby!! you’re so small it’s where you belong!!” (even if you’re taller than him hyunsuk what) he just,, loves how close you feel to him when he knows you can hear his heartbeat and he can feel how warm you are and he can see you falling asleep and it makes him feel so !! warm inside

he’d definitely introduce you to his friends really quick into dating you lol because?? what if you guys don’t get along?? they literally mean The World to him??

but of course you would i mean. what’s not to like

and they’d tell you embarrassing stories about him (seunghun would go into immense detail of how hyunsuk talked about your first date, including an oscar worthy rendition of hyunsuk talking about your first kiss)

you’d probably tell hyunsuk that you were scared of byounggon and hyunsuk would CACKLE

he’d be like “him?? he?? he’s a Baby! he’s the Sweetest Boy!” and then place all of his efforts into getting you and byounggon to be certified best friends

and like. it would work but more because you and byounggon had to bond over who would take care of him in his chaotic inventive ways to get you and byounggon to talk and communicate (including: accidentally locking you two in the practice room so you’d talk through ‘your issues with one another’ which would literally end up with you showing byounggon dumb pictures you had of hyunsuk on your phone and him giving you music recommendations)

[a/n; using that as a way to talk about something else,, writer of the year :)] we all obviously know that hyunsuk is very music orientated as a person!!! and he wouldn’t hesitate to share that with you through either his performances, his producing, or just music he likes

he’d make multiple playlists for you that would be for different things! (songs he wants to show you, songs that remind him of you, songs he wants to you to listen to and tell him whether performing them would be a good idea etc.)

he’d also love for you to show him your favourite music because he’d personally see music sharing as something very intimate and special!!! and if you ever told him about songs that reminded you of him he might actually have a heart palpitation

but i think in general he’d wanna be involved with something you’re interested in because you supported him so much in his passion!! if you were into art, he’d wanna know all about what you were drawing/painting and he’d find cute museums to go to together! if you were into writing, he’d wanna know what you were writing about and he’d wanna find you cool notebooks and stationary to use for it! he’d just wanna involve himself in any way possible to let u know he cared about it too!!

now onto his other Big Hobby

he…is now your personal stylist…a fashion king…he will not let you change his name in your phone…

he wants to go shopping to find cool clothes all the time! and now he has someone else to take with him! and someone else to try and dress!

i know there’s like the dumb Boyfriend Trope of ‘no :( you can’t wear that because it’s revealing :(‘ but like………hyunsuk wouldn’t care lmao

he sees something he thinks you’d look cute in?? he immediately jumps to get you to try it on for him!! it’s not a weird thing he’s just a fashion king and needs everyone to know that you two are the Best Dressed Couple

speaking of which! dating hyunsuk would be such a healthy thing !

he’d be a lil heavy-handed at first just because he’s not 100% on what he’s actually supposed to be doing

but once he figures out how dating actually works, it’s over for literally everyone else

like, at first, he might get jealous quite a lot because :(( what if u find someone better :(( but then he’d kinda re-evaluate and be like ‘i could…literally talk about this…what’s stopping me…’

and then you’d have a conversation about it where you’d reassure him that he’s your man!! you like Love him and stuff!!

from then on i think dealing with issues that came up in your relationship would just,,, get easy to him??

like, you’re jealous over someone else? that’s okay, you guys can talk about it and work it out!! he’s stressed and tired and just wants alone time? he’ll explain it to you in a calm n rational way without snapping at you!! you snap at him because you’re stressed and tired and just want alone time? he understands, but he tells you to tell him next time!!

he just can’t comprehend that any of the things you two work through are actually genuine problems for other couples because?? he finds them so easy to avoid

that’s not to say you two wouldn’t argue, because like, everyone does. but arguments would just,, end so quickly because

first of all: he hates there being tension between you two, and hates the idea of upsetting you even more

and second of all: he’d calm down quick enough to talk things through calmly and discuss a good way for both of you to fix your problems

and ! the relationship would never ever feel one-sided

you’d support him so much!! you’d remind him to get sleep, and to eat and drink regularly, and to not take the criticisms too harshly because he knows how good he is

((a side note: you’d probably Go Off at some point about yg and how gross he is for being so mean and never complimenting hyunsuk because you knew it upset him and you’d be ranting and gesturing around with your hands and probably yelling a lil bit and hyunsuk would just be looking at you like (✿╹◡╹) because his heart is so warm while you’re talking about burning the yg building down for him))

and he’d support you just as much!! he’d remind you to not overthink things, and to take breaks if you had studying to do, and would call you at least once a day if his schedule was packed just to get a quick run-down on how your day was going

also, on the topic of phone calls, sometimes he’d just call you and leave the call going while he did other stuff

most of the time it’d be while he did writing or producing

but if he wanted you to ‘be there’ during his dance practices he’d facetime and just kinda,,, leave it going while him and everyone else did their routine

and you’d either be doing other stuff or watching but either way you’d hype them all up for how well they were doing

and hyunsuk is（￣ε￣ʃƪ）because oh boy!! he loves you a whole bunch

onto another topic but he’d really wanna have you meet his family only after he knew it was gonna be serious with you two !

and he’d already know his family would love you so he wasn’t stressed (you definitely were, but he was just like “no!!! they’ll love you because they love me!!!”) and from then he’d really love for you to be close to his family

but oh boy meeting your family. he’d have a heart-attack

what if they didn’t like him?? what if they thought he was a bad influence?? he couldn’t handle that

(you’d go to meet them and you’d be calming him down because “you’re literally the cutest sweetest most charming boy i have ever met?? how could anyone ever hate you??”) and he’d still be super nervous but. two minutes into being through the door he has it! he’s got ur whole family just as whipped for him as you are by the time he leaves

he’s like the meme of ‘your mum asked me to ask if you wanted to come to dinner with us at your house tonight :)’

hyunsuk is also definitely the type to wanna get you guys a couple item!! and he’d try and find something really ugly because he’d think it was funny to see your reactions to the cringy couple shirts and hoodies

but then one day he’d come over n be like “hello i have done it again!!”

and ur like “oh no. why. what did you do. i’m too young to go to prison hyunsuk pls”

and he’s all “:) no silly we finally have a couple item”

and ur immediately like. “no. i won’t have it. take it back! no more micky and minnie mouse matching hoodies!! i won’t do it and you can’t make me!!!”

but he’s like “no i promise it’s a good one this time :( please”

so u allow him one chance…..just one….to prove himself…..

and boy! does he do it!

he gets out a cute lil box n he’s chanting like a lil kid when he gives it to you and he’s like, “open it open it open it!!”

and you do and :(( it’s this cute lil locket and you look up at him like :O

and he’s grinning so big and nodding for you to open it and when you do there’s your favourite picture of him in it and you’re !! so happy that you don’t know what to do with yourself

but then he’s like “wait! that isn’t even the best part!” and he shuffles about for a second and wham! he’s wearing a matching one

and ur like :O this is the cutest thing in the entire whole wide world

but ! he opens it up and he’s grinning at u n he looks like he knows something you don’t and there!! is a picture of you where you’re in a shirt of his and the lighting’s kinda bad because you’re kinda sat up in ur bed and ur grinning real big at something

and ur like “:/ hyunsuk that is the ugliest picture of me”

he would be. genuinely offended. he would pop off ! he would be gesturing around with his hands and rambling about how “that’s so dumb??? u look so happy?? and so cute??? and it’s my favourite picture of you ever???”

from that day obviously you wouldn’t take yours off because uhm that’s so cute

but like you just think he’ll wear his when it fits in with whatever the current days LookTM is

but………he wears it All the time…..(but he does take it off to sleep n shower because he’s scared to damage it!!!)

also i firmly believe hyunsuk isn’t the type to get jealous very easily anyway, but as i said earlier he wouldn’t find talking about it difficult

like,, if there was a situation where someone was being too touchy with you and it made him uncomfortable then he’d wait until later and then tell you kinda like, “hi idk what u think of this but it just made me kinda uncomfy :// can we talk abt it” and you would !! and you’d find something that worked for both of you !!

i mean hyunsuk really is like. that boyfriend

i know this is super long already so i’m gonna go into a quick fire bit;

he would completely and totally buy you chapsticks whenever he saw any !! like now he just buys two of each as a natural reaction to seeing them

leaves u notes if he has to leave early however they’re not like ‘ily see u later mwah’ they’re more like dumb jokes he thinks of or drawings of weird animal combinations he thinks of

totally accidentally steals the covers in the night if you guys move away from each so he buys you the cutest most fluffy blanket he can find as an apology

also!! his kisses would be the best ever?? he loves giving you lil cheek and forehead kisses 24/7

has to give you one (1) kiss every time you have to leave and one (1) kiss every time he sees you  

but he gives you two (2) kisses every single time you compliment him!!!

overall! i think hyunsuk would be one of the most relaxed and easy-going ((and best but you didn’t hear that from me)) boyfriends anyone could ever have

thank you for coming to my ted-talk

[killingourdreams]

See you tomorrow

Pairing: Eva x Taehyung

Tags: Fluff, Angst

Word count: 2.9k

-

VENTI: Istg if I’m the only one who appears tomorrow i’ll personally find a kill u

Traenens@lz: lol then maybe i shouldn’t come

Traenens@lz: u’d come to me and i wouldn’t even have to move.. perf :D

VENTI: …

VENTI: stfu. you better get ur ass up.

VENTI: now, see you tomorrow

VENTI: you dumbass

Traenens@lz: yeeeah i’ll be there

Traenens@lz: good nighty

You dropped your phone on your nightstand and turned around in your bed. God, you had no idea how you were supposed to sleep! For two and a half years you had known Taehyung now but this would be the first time for you two to meet in real-life. Would it be awkward? Would he act different than online, look different than in his pictures, sound different than via Skype? Your mind was an endlessly rotating cycle of questions and an eternal stream of scenarios of past incidents and especially possibilities for tomorrows meeting. This time around three years ago you had just started an online game and it had took quite a few months until you were actually good at it. By then you had found a guild and an online community of people to play with. Around that time a new player joined your guild and you had the pleasure to meet Taehyung. He surpassed yours and some of your best gamer’s skill in no time, but what was more important, he was a really cool dude. You almost instantly got along and after a while the group chats consisted mostly of you two teasing each other. Then it happened more and more outside the game, then finally you stopped playing it all along but your connection withstood all this time and now you were here. More than two years later, anxiously awaiting your first offline meetup. Other people might laugh at you or disagree but when you thought deeply about it, he definitely was your best friend. Whatever hardships had put you down or the one or two break ups you had gone through, he was the one listening, comforting and cheering you up. And it was just the same the other way around. To each other you could open up about anything and find support even in the darkest times.

However hard it was to fall asleep in the end you did and the next morning came faster than anticipated. It only took you 3 outfit changes and redoing your makeup twice until you decided you were ready. Nonetheless you still had 2 hours to go until your meetup at a cafe in town. So, you decided to go for a walk and maybe find a little present for him or something. As you strolled through the streets and some shops you started to think to yourself how amazingly lucky you were to find a friend who would travel half the world just to meet you. It had taken him some time to save up for the flight and he had worked hard selling his CDs and playing the saxophone in bars and nightclubs. This was another reason you admired him so much. He was through and through passionate about writing and making music with his saxophone and making a living with what he loved most. While you were still in university studying professional singing, scared of the future and how exactly you will earn a living with what makes you happy.

In the end you had no clue what to get him, so you settled on some for your country typical sweets and made your way to the place you had decided to meet up. With every step you got closer to your destination your heart began to beat faster and faster. Shit, what if you fell unconscious right in front of him? Before you could even finish that thought you had entered the cafe and your eyes had fallen upon the sight of Taehyung sitting in a cosy corner at a small table. You took a long, deep breath and step after step you got closer to him until you suddenly sat across the table in front of him. First two, then three and four seconds skipped past just by the two of you smiling at each other. He was ridiculously handsome which would have made you very insecure if he wouldn’t be grinning at you so happily and warmheartedly that no negative thoughts could intrude your thinking.

“So.. Eva?”, he took the first step, breaking the silence between you two. “I guess it is you, right?” Oh shit, his accent was the cutest thing you’ve ever heard. “Ehm thanks?”, he laughed nervously. You probably turned into a tomato then and there, “Fuck, sorry, I didn’t mean to say that out loud.” This was when you thankfully remembered you had brought him a gift and could easily change the topic. “Ah yeah, here you go. I thought I shouldn’t come empty handed, I don’t know if this was too much but anyways here you go.”, you rambled a little bit but all in all you thought weren’t doing too bad in this whole… unusual social situation. As time went on both of you got more and more comfortable and in the end you ended up talking for multiple hours on end. “I’m so relieved that you’re not some crazy chick to be honest. I was kind of scared coming all this way just to be murdered or something.” He certainly wasn’t the only one who had that thought, you guessed it was a common fear of people who meet online.  Eventually you decided that none of you were serial killers and it would be safe to meet up in a less public place the next day. So, you invited him to your place for some cooking and movie watching. Soon both of you parted while you walked home you felt like you could elevate into the clouds any moment. Every bad thing that you had imagined beforehand didn’t happen even in the slightest. After both of your uncomfortable shells had broken up a little bit you two were joking around and telling stories like you had been seeing each other personally every day for the past years. You almost felt a little dizzy on euphoria when you arrived at home. And tomorrow you would see him again! You would just have to sit through your classes and when you would come home it would be almost time for him to be over. You were the happiest you’ve been in weeks.

Your lectures went by so slowly to have you wondering if your professor was somehow manipulating time just to torture you. But eventually they were over, and you could go home and get ready for Tae to come over. Taaaeee. That was one of the first things he had told you yesterday, to call him “Tae” and not by his full name. Online you had just called him by his username or “V” to speed things up but in real life you felt like that would be very awkward. Gladly he almost immediately told you to use the nickname his other closest friends would call him by. And just this small thing as being considered a close friend by him and calling his nickname in your mind, made your heart feel warm and fuzzy. Was this what happiness felt like?

While waiting for him to arrive at your place you started to prepare the pizza ingredients you had bought on your way home from university. As you washed the tomatoes you realised it was already 5 minutes past the time you both had agreed on. The rational part of your brain instantaneously began repeating “Don’t panic, that’s nothing unusual, nothing to worry about” while the other half went “Fuck, he hated it yesterday, he fled back to Korea, he didn’t like me in real life”. Like this another 5 and finally 10 minutes went by. Alternating between complete blankness and utter dread, you tried to contorl your thoughts. You had given up doing anything productive and decided to just sit by your kitchen table, wasting the time by staring at the clock on your microwave then checking your phone’s time, then back to the microwave. He could have at least written you a tiny goodbye-message instead of just leaving you hanging like this. Your head was heavy with disappointment and confusion. If he wouldn’t do it then you would, so you began writing him a mad message about how cowardly and mean he was acting. When 20 minutes had passed the anger, you had built up, turned into sadness. And you added to your text the incredible pain you were feeling right now but when you were done you couldn’t really press send. So, with the first tears bawling out you for eyes you began placing the ingredients on the pizza and putting it into the oven. 30 minutes had come and gone and your last glimpses of hope for him to come had left you as well. You shrunk to a small ball on the kitchen floor with pure frustration streaming down you face. Did you talk too much? Or too less? Were you not funny enough? Did he expect something else from you? Would he make fun of you to his friends? Tell them about the dumb foreign girl? Maybe you were just too easily deceived? Too ugly? Too small? Too tall? Too…you finally hit send on the message you had composed earlier. Hoping he would see it and at least feel a little bit what kind of shit person he was. He could have at the very least been honest and straightforward. And all this although you had talked about how much it hurt to be abandoned in the past so many fucking times. Now you were here again. Alone, cold, shivering against the kitchen counter you were leaning on with your back. Out of all the people you knew Tae was the one you had truested the most, now you were afraid he was exactly the one you shouldn’t have given your heart. When the alarm for the pizza rang you couldn’t make yourself get up to take it out. So, you just sat there even when the hot tears had dried up you were feeling too empty to do anything but sit there and stare at the wall across your kitchen.

DINGDONG. In that moment your doorbell rang. It was about to be a little over an hour after your set time. In shock you accidently choked on your hitched breath and it took you a few moments to calm down again. Did you just imagine that out of your crazy, desperate mind? There, it rang again. Hastily you wiped the tears of your cheeks and checked your puffy face in the hallway mirror. You looked like quite the mess, but you couldn’t really change that right now.

With the door only opened a creak wide you peaked outside. In front of your apartment stood a heavily breathing Taehyung, a bouquet of wild flowers clutched in one hand. From head to toe he was soaked in rain and his face literal panic. “Eva! I am so, so sorry”, he almost stumbled over his words. You opened a little bit further but not enough for him to step in. Not sure of what to say and if you could even trust your voice you stared at him, waiting for an explanation. His gaze shifted to your swollen eyes and reddened cheeks and he seemed like he wanted to disappear then and there. “I’m… it was… I was just really, really stupid.” You couldn’t help but to let out a lifeless, drained chuckle at that. He sighed, maybe a little bit relieved even. “To be honest I just really fucked up. When I waited for the bus I saw this shop next to the bus stop and thought I actually, truly want to gift you something back. I went in to buy these flowers when a bus came”, he sighed loudly again. “I panicked and just sprinted out and got on. Only after a few stops I realised that I was going in the wrong direction. I just got off at next stop.”, with a pained smile he continued. “I had no fucking clue where I was, next bus in the other direction would come in 30 minutes or something, so, in very smart moment I decided to walk back to the station I had gotten on.” You noticed how his whole body was quivering when you remembered he was drenched, probably through every layer of his clothing. “Tae…”, you interrupted him softly, your voice still weak. “You can come in. At least to dry yourself off.” You took some steps back inside and he entered with a perplexed expression of his face. “Ah, I didn’t think you would even let me in at this point.” Without another word you handed him a towel and pointed towards your bathroom. When he proceeded in the direction you had showed him to you added, “I will check if I have something you can change into, before you finish your great story.” You weren’t sure if you were supposed to accept his apology or not, in the end it sounded like was really just the fault of his pure stupidity. But you were hurt nevertheless.

After you lend him some sweatpants you had snitched from your brother at some point in the past and then forgotten and a for you oversized shirt, you both settled down in the living room. His hair was still a bit damp and sticked to his forehead while being a mess at the back. The thought that he still looked incredibly cute crept into your mind but you pushed it away. Both of you sat at opposite ends of the couch and you even went so far as to crouch on the arm arm rest with you knees tucked under you chin. “So, I guess you walked back to the station and got on the bus there to the right direction? This took you over an hour?”, you brought up the topic again in a cold voice. He was seemingly uncomfortable “Kind of… also when I walked here from the bus station I think I read the screenshots I took of the map.. not quite correctly and I ended up ringing the door of an old man who just  started to shout stuff at me… I didn’t really understand, so I ran away and was kinda lost again.” You had to suppress a giggle. His story almost sounded like one of a lost puppy and that’s ho whe looked like right now, too. Almost pleadingly he was staring at you with big doe eyes, begging you to forgive him. Feeling a bit stuck you didn’t know if you should just forget what had happened or let him suffer a little more in unknowingness just like you had. “I guess all of this sounds… plausible”, you pressed out when you saw him nervously fiddling with the hem of his shirt and biting his lips like you were about to execute him. “I’m … I’m just so incredibly sorry, I ruined this evening for. Only because I was being… stupid as fuck. Also…”, he took a deep breath and looked down at his restless hands. “I just wanted to surprise you with the flowers because yesterday I realised that you probably have the most breath-taking smile in the world and I wanted to see it again. You’re going to think this is really cheesy or I just want to talk my way out of everything or I’m simply selfish… but when you opened that door, I saw how much this must have hurt you and I never want to see you cry. No, not ever.”, he drew a hint closer on the couch looking up into your eyes. “Eva, I am sincerely sorry.” You couldn’t do this anymore. “Tae… it’s okay. It wasn’t really your fault, not entirely. I am… I’m not mad anymore.” You slipped down next to him to reassure him that your anger had died down. You felt like he was hesitating for a moment. And in the next he pulled you against his chest and buried you in a warm embrace. “I promise, I won’t abandon you. I will never just cut you out of my life. You have become one of my if not the most important friend in my life.” You can’t remember any point in your life you had felt as safe as in his arms right then and there. Against the warmth of his wildly beating heart you whispered, “I feel the same for you. But… I’m scared, you know. That your sentiment will change in a few months or year or… that I am just feeling more intensely than you.” A low chuckle ran through his body and had you looking up at his face. “Eva, listen, I don’t think that’s possible. Now stop worrying, at least for today and then we can see about tomorrow.” He gently took your head into his big hands and pressed you against his chest as if you were the most important treasure in his world. Silently both of you were huddled up on the couch. All troubles slipping to the back of your minds. And it wasn’t said out loud, but you had a feeling that the connection you two had changed in these moments. Now, there was something new between you. Something you wanted to hold on to dearly forever; and you knew he truly felt the same.

-

Merry Christmas, @lantehrn! (And happy birthday to Tae, I guess lol)

[goddamnbatsignal]

Hotline Bling

Pairing: Dd

Words: ~6000

A/N: Um. I haven’t written anything in a very long time. This is rough and I have some issues with the movement but if I don’t post it I don’t know if I ever will so have it (and if anyone sees any serious issues pls tell me!)

Warnings: general rough sex

Summary: In which Damian texts like a teenager, consent is super sexy and there’s some really chatty, rough sex to be had post-patrol

*

Waking is a slow process. The air is cold but the blankets are warm, and he’s ready to let the heaviness in his head overwhelm him, dropping back into unconsciousness. But the phone buzzes again, louder this time, insistent vibrations against the bedside table. He groans, burying his face in the pillows and groping blindly for the cell.

              He doesn’t bother looking at the time. It’s late, or maybe it’s early – some hideous hour where dawn is only a distant promise, with cold air bitter enough to bite through tights and Kevlar. An hour where phone calls are inappropriate between civilized people, but he’s long since made peace with the sort of company he keeps. It could be something urgent, some deadly disaster or new flavour of villain. Maybe, if he’s lucky, it something far more pleasurable than a call to arms on Gotham’s frozen rooftops.

              Dick knows the message is from Damian, knows the start-stop vibration pattern belongs to him. It was Babs’ doing, months ago when Dick’s cell had stuttered and died. She’d gone with him to find a new one, had plucked it from his hands and programmed his top contacts with personal rings, personal tones, personal vibrations – personal everything. Useful, she’d promised, citing an impressive list of practicalities that Dick had been sceptical of at the time. Now, though, head still dull with sleep, he can ready himself for Damian’s particular brand of messaging even before he manages to pluck the phone from the charger.

              The screen is too bright in the darkness, illuminating half the room and making Dick’s eyes ache. He grunts, rubbing a tired hand across his face and squinting blurrily as he clicks into the message. It takes him a moment to focus, blinking at the single word text with wary disbelief.

              Usually, Damian sent texts with a syntax that was terrifyingly teenaged – complex arrangements of letters, numbers and shorthand that Dick had given up trying to decipher weeks ago. The language of the future, Damian had told him once, head pillowed on Dick’s chest and eyes drooping closed. Communication is evolving, Grayson. Try to keep up.

              (Dick actually had tried, briefly. He even managed to convince Tim to translate, which worked well right up to the point they simultaneously realized that Damian’s chatspeak prose was far more graphic than either of them had anticipated. They’d hastily agreed to never mention it again.)

              This message, though, is simple. Too simple, even, and Dick drops his face back into the pillow with a groan. He checks the screen again, cautiously, but nothing changes. One word.

                Awake?

              Dick smothers a yawn with the back of one hand, fumbling the phone into a better grip as he does.  It’s a succinct message, and he thumbs out a response before curling back into the pillows.

              Y?

                Short. Sweet. It’s perfect, Dick thinks, tucking his nose beneath the covers. Could mean ‘yes’, could mean ‘why’. A Damian sort of response, and he’s proud of it even as his eyes drift closed again. He shifts beneath the blankets, finding a more comfortable position even as the phone vibrates again.

                Bbs. If ur nt hrd im fckin u

                            Dick laughs, quick and quiet in the darkness of the room. Missing letters he can understand – a more efficient but still comprehensible message - so he sends a smiley face back before tossing the cell back towards the bedside table and rolling onto his stomach.

              He doesn’t end up on the receiving end very often anymore, not when Damian takes such obvious delight in the act. Dick’s happy regardless, loves the way Damian opens up for him, loves the tight heat of his partner’s body and the hitch in Damian’s throat when he comes all over his perfect stomach. It’s a particular sort of high, he knows, making the Robin shatter to pieces with his touch, and sometimes Dick thinks he’ll never be able to get enough of it.

              Still, even with Damian in his bed (and on his couch, in his shower, in Bruce’s car) every other night, it’s been months since he’s been fucked, months since he’s felt the slow burn of Damian’s cock deep inside him. Dick loves that, too, loves Damian’s hands bruising his hips and his teeth pricking at his skin, loves getting pushed onto the bed and made to forget his name. It’s a different kind of perfect, but it’s perfect none the less.

              Dick smiles against the pillows, carefully extracting himself from the memories. When they first started dating, the promise of pre-dawn post patrol sex would have been enough to have Dick hard and aching in anticipation. It had been a secret, back then, a series of clandestine meetings and longing looks. Even after, when everyone knew, Dick had considered it poor form to be sporting a hard on for his mentor’s kid whenever Damian threw him that shy, sly little smile. It had been a game to Damian, a game of tight pants and yoga stretches, of sinfully intense sparring sessions and touches and greedy, stolen kisses – all under the eyes of Alfred and Bruce, all carried out with the ever-present threat of disembowelment.

Now, though, more than a year into the affair, it’s a slower warmth, a beginning sort of arousal that carries with it the promise of good things to come. And, if he keeps himself from getting carried away, there’s space to breathe through it rather than a desperate need for more immediate completion. He shifts slightly, curling onto his side and bringing the covers up to his chin, protection against the cool night air.

              He doesn’t sleep, although it’s a near thing. He wavers in semi-consciousness, lulled by a distant rumble of thunder and the warm promise of Damian’s presence, a gentle radiating pleasure that has Dick sinking, loose-limbed and pliant, into the mattress.  

              When the window creaks open, he shifts lazily to watch Damian drop onto his floor. It’s a well-rehearsed entrance, and Dick smiles slowly as the Robin stretches back up to latch the shutter into place. When Damian turns to him, he flutters his fingers in greeting.

              “…did you actually fall asleep?” Damian asks softly, taking an uncertain step towards the bed. Dick grins, making a non-committal sound in the back of his throat. There’s a long moment of hesitation, then Damian sighs and shrugs his cape off. “Glad to see my message was so rousing.”

              “You’re awake enough for the both of us,” Dick mumbles back, voice thick and rough with sleep. He shifts, languid and easy, moving to pillow his head on one arm as Damian peels off his uniform. Beneath the black leggings, Damian is already hard and he sheds the last of his clothes with brisk efficiency. Dick huffs out a breath of laugher. “You’re really awake for the both of us.”

              “That much was a given,” Damian says, making a small show of folding his uniform. “You should be more concerned with whether or not you’ll be getting fucked.”

              “Mm, come over here and find out,” Dick offers, flicking the bed covers open and settling back into the pillows. He watches as Damian sighs, pausing to fish his phone from the folds of his costume and tossing it towards the nightstand. “Planning to text in bed?”

              “Perhaps I’ll record your orgasm and set it as my ringtone,” Damian shoots back, soft and sincere, and Dick laughs, reaching out to grab Damian’s wrist and drag him down into a kiss.

              It’s a surprisingly dirty kiss, going from a quick touch of chapped lips to open mouths with teeth and tongue, Damian’s thigh hard between his legs and Dick’s hands twisting in the Robin’s hair. Damian works his hands up and under Dick’s shirt, sliding freezing palms down along his side.

              “Oh my god, that’s cold!” Dick manages, laughing in between short, sharp kisses, squirming as Damian’s fingers track up his ribs. It’s an unexpected attack, the freezing thumbs pressing into soft skin, and Dick arches away from it. “You’re killing me here, babybat!”

              “It’s cold outside,” Damian says, an explanation even as he rubs his palms across Dick’s stomach, grasping for the hem of Dick’s shirt and pulling it up over his head. “Which you would know, if you were out on patrol rather than sleeping.”

              “If I was out on patrol, I wouldn’t be here to help warm you up,” Dick counters. He catches Damian’s hands in his own, trying to rub some heat back into them. Damian huffs, collapsing down onto Dick’s chest. “See, this is much better than both of us freezing.”

              The next kiss is a little slower, and Damian bumps their foreheads together with a soft, loose smile. Dick kisses his nose and the side of his mouth, letting his hands tangle into the Robin’s hair as Damian reaches down into his sweatpants.

              “Glad to see you find me somewhat entertaining,” Damian mumbles, words pressed against his mouth, and Dick clutches at him as firm finger curl around his cock. “I thought perhaps I was losing touch.”

“What, you?” Dick laughs, pressing warm kisses along Damian’s jaw. The grip around him tightens and he moans, hips pressing up into the contact.  “Lube’s in the drawer.”

              “In a hurry?” Damian asks, hot and low against Dick’s neck, fingers dragging along Dick’s length. He whines, choking on Damian’s name when the Robin gives him a sharp twist.  “Maybe I want to take my time.” It’s a hollow threat, and Dick grins up at him.

              “Dami, if you wanted nice and slow,” he starts, breaking off as teeth catch against his throat, pressing enough to make him twitch. “…if you wanted nice and slow, you wouldn’t have messaged me first.” Damian’s eyebrows lift, mouth curving up into a quick smile against his skin.

              “You’re right, I want it rough.” The words are harsh, pressed into the side of Dick’s throat and accompanied by a hard, fast pump of his cock. He groans, tilting his head to let Damian’s teeth catch against him bottom lip. “I want you unprepared. I want you tight and resisting, I want to feel you trying to take it. I want…”

              “Well, shit,” Dick mumbles, sound lost against Damian lips. The Robin pauses, breathes in against his skin, and Dick rubs a thumb over one of his cheekbones before he can pull away. “It’s good, Dami. It’s been a while, yeah? But it’s good, I’m in.”

              “Yeah?” Dick nods, dropping his hands away from Damian’s wide-eyed expression to hook his fingers into the waist of his pants instead. He lifts his hips and pushes them down, whining when Damian lets him go and rolls away. “Hush, Grayson, just getting the lube. Like you said, it’s been a while, and I’m not doing you dry. Not tonight, anyway.” The Robin pauses, leaning in to steal a careful, grateful kiss before turning to dig into the bedside drawer.

              “Promises, promises,” Dick teases as he sits up, kicking his pants off and tossing them away. His cock is hot and heavy, standing up away from his body. He reaches down for himself, runs a thumb along the slit before giving himself a generous stroke. He hums in the back of his throat, reclining back against the pillows and repeating the process as Damian turns back to face him. With a wink, Dick lets his legs fall open and Damian snorts.

              “Show off,” the Robin accuses, and Dick nods, arching his back and quirking an eyebrow when Damian ignores him. “It’s a good thing you’re so pretty, Grayson, otherwise I wouldn’t put up with you.”

              “I dunno, babybat,” Dick gasps, hand working up and down his length properly now. He takes a moment, savours the way Damian’s eyes flick down to his cock, the way his jaw goes a little bit slacker. “There are other qualities of mine I think you rather enjoy.”

              “Enough,” Damian growls, tossing the lube towards the pillow and surging forward. Dick twists to meet him, opens his legs enough for the Robin to settle between high thighs. Damian’s hands fist in his hair, teeth catching at his lips and dragging hard, dirty kisses from his mouth. He hooks a calf around Damian’s waist, pressing them together as he wraps his hands around their combined lengths.

              Damian groans into his mouth, shifting focus and drifting down the curve of his throat. It’s an onslaught of quick, sharp points of contact, marks that will be a hot red in the morning. Visible, too, the first one pressed at the point of his jaw, hard enough to make him jump. He lets his head fall back, hand between them stroking with each pass of the Robin’s teeth.

              They’re both leaking now, a slickness between them that covers Dick’s hand. He jerks up into it, a quick thrust that Damian mimics, hips beginning to roll down into the contact, grinding them together. Dick drops his hand away, grabbing instead at Damian’s hair and pulling the teen back up to his lips.

The kiss is bruising, Damian meeting him half way and driving his hips forward. Dick cries out, sound muffled by the Robin’s tongue, trying to spread his thighs wider when Damian thrusts down again. Desperate, he kicks up into it, legs hooking around Damian’s waist as they grind together. Then, Damian’s hand is down between them, wrapping around Dick’s length and pumping. It’s hard and fast, quick rough strokes that have Dick groaning, hips stuttering and sliding until Damian’s hand shifts, abandoning his length to press against his pelvis, fingernails digging in and holding him still against the mattress. Dick squirms, silently protesting the sudden denial of friction, and Damian huffs against his mouth.

“Grayson, we’re not going to rub off against one another like a pair of teenagers in the back seat of a car,” the Robin growls, leaning in for another kiss. Dick breaks the contact with a snort.

              “You are a teenager!” he laughs, reaching up to rap his knuckles softly against Damian’s forehead. “As for the car, well, we could go see a drive in movie.”

              “Stop talking,” Damian advises, leaning forward to mouth at the underside of Dick’s jaw. Dick sighs, tilting his head back and stroking a thumb over the nape of the Robin’s neck.

              “We could go for a drive in the woods,” he continues quietly, closing his eyes and focusing on the softness of Damian’s lips against his skin, counter point to the harsh grip of his fingers digging into Dick’s hips and the burning heat of his arousal. “Maybe after one of those old horror movies, something that will make you want to cuddle up nice and close.” Damian reaches up to try and cover his mouth, fingertips poking at his lips even as Dick laughs and turns away. “Aw Dami, don’t be like that!”

              “You’re incorrigible,” the Robin huffs out, low and soft against Dick’s skin. His teeth prick against the lines of his collar bone, sharp and insistent, and Dick swallows a groan. “Horror movies don’t frighten me, Grayson. You might need a better plan.”

              “Mm, how about I promise to have you back before your curfew, babybat,” he offers, carding fingers through Damian’s hair, pressing up into the sharp kisses being trailed along his shoulder. “No one would know I’d gotten into your tights - got to keep that sparkling reputation intact.” Damian bites down on his shoulder, a hard nip that has Dick cursing and tugging at the Robin’s hair. “Damian!”

              “Would you just shut up?” the Robin demands, leaning forward to steal a rough kiss. He takes another moment to rub his palm across the bite mark on Dick’s shoulder. “Although,” he adds, rubbing a thumb along Dick’s bottom lip with a slow, careful smile. “We actually should go for a drive sometime.”

              Dick nods, opens his mouth to agree, but Damian moves in and kisses him again, hard and insistent. Dick goes with it, wrapping his arms around Damian’s neck and trying to push their hips together again. Damian’s hands dart out to his hipbones, gripping and pressing him down hard enough to bruise, and Dick melts back into the mattress as the Robin’s attention drifts lower, mouth tracking down the side of his neck and lips brushing over the shell of his ear.

“Mm, that’s good,” he mumbles, sliding his fingers into Damian’s hair and holding, tugging carefully whenever the Robin’s teeth prick a little too sharp against his skin.

              Damian maps out across clavicle, teeth and tongue warm against Dick’s skin, and he presses up into the touch. He tries to push his hips up too, tries to find friction against the hard plains of Damian’s stomach rubbing against him, but the Robin’s hands tighten on his hip, a warning. He ignores it, jerks up again, and Damian bites down on his shoulder.

              “Ouch, Dami!” Damian kisses the spot, reaching over to give Dick’s cock an apologetic tug, rough fingers teasing across the head before wrapping around him and pumping. Dick groans, shifting as Damian trails careful bites across his chest, each one timed with a rough twist of the hand wrapped around him. Dick guides him lower, tugging roughly at the Robin’s hair, and Damian looks up to meet his eyes.

              “Something you want, Grayson?” he asks softly, thumb reaching the tip of Dick’s cock and rubbing circles, sliding sharply across the slit. Dick inhales, swallowing against the sensation even as his hips jump up to the contact, and Damian laughs. “You know, I forget sometimes how easy it is to get you off.”

              “And I always forget how mean you are when you top,” Dick counters, earning himself a sharp nipping kiss as a reward. “Blow me?”

              “Well, when you ask so nicely, how can I refuse?” the Robin murmurs, settling himself between Dick’s legs and leaving two chaste kisses against his hip bones. “You do have a pretty cock, Grayson,” he adds, giving him a careful squeeze. Dick grins, reaching down to ruffle Damian’s hair.

              When the teen leans in, Dick drops back to the mattress with a contented sigh. Damian’s mouth is wet and warm, teeth carefully girded as he sucks the head into his mouth. Dick grunts, forces himself to lie still and not thrust up into the warmth.

              Damian inches down slowly, one hand shifting to curl around the base of Dick’s shaft. His fingers squeeze tight before relaxing again, tongue sliding across the slit even as Damian pulls back again. He runs his mouth down one side, pinching at the head with his fingers, and Dick winces.

              “D, you’re so cruel,” he complains, giving a soft grunt of appreciation when Damian drops a kiss to his navel. “C’mon.”

              “Patience is a virtue,” Damian offers, succinct and sly, moving to wrap his mouth back around Dick’s length. There’s a moment of tight pressure, Damian’s checks hollowed around his head, then Dick’s hips stutter up and Damian swallows him down.

              It’s not an easy rhythm. Damian presses down on his hips, regulating each of Dick’s thrusts as his throat works around Dick’s length. Dick whines, tries to push up further into the friction, murmuring absent sounds of appreciation as Damian breathes him in. He closes his eyes, head dropping back down to the pillow as he focuses on the warm lips on his cock, counterpoint to the soft scrape of teeth against his shaft.

              It doesn’t take long for the prickle of pleasure to work it’s away alone his spine, blooming out from the way Damian’s free hand circles the base of his cock, squeezing and releasing in time with each delicate movement of his jaw. Dick groans softly, reaching down to grip haphazardly at the Robin’s hair. Damian makes a sound in the back of his throat, a combination of pleased and surprised, relaxing to let Dick thrust further into his throat.

              “…holy shit, you’re the best,” Dick manages, a quick gasp as Damian’s fingers tighten again around him, firm against his skin.

              He’s preoccupied with Damian’s mouth, preoccupied with the fingers hard around him, and he almost doesn’t notice the cool wetness of lube against him. He squirms, shifts away from the sensation, then there’s the unmistakable feeling of fingertips soothing over his hole. They press in slightly, pushing against resistance before easing back, rubbing carefully over his sensitive skin.

              Dick tenses when they slide in again, deeper this time. He winces, breathes out through his nose, and Damian swallows in more of his cock. Dick gasps, appreciating the distraction, and Damian works the finger in deeper, pulsing it in and out until Dick pushes back onto it.

              The second finger is easier, the stinging stretch more familiar this time. Dick collapses back against the pillows, gasping for air as Damian’s tongue swirls around his head and fingers press up deeper within him.

              The need to come is painful, and he grabs for the back of Damian’s head, tries to press up deeper into his mouth. Damian swallows around him, fingers jabbing up harder inside his body, and Dick’s hips jerk until he’s buried in deep in the teen’s mouth, Damian’s throat tight and wet around him. Damian hums, swallowing sharply even as he scissors his fingers deep in Dick’s body. There’s a shock of discomfort, of being opened too quickly, then Dick’s coming straight down the back of his protégé’s throat. He grabs blindly for the back of Damian’s head, fingers curling and pulling at soft hair even as the Robin’s hand shift to bracket his hips, holding him steady as Damian swallows around him. He half stutters the beginning of an apology, but Damian fixes him with a look that makes him whimper instead, body twitching through the aftershocks.

               Dick drops back against the pillows, boneless and pliant as Damian carefully moves back, wiping the back of his hand across his mouth even as Dick huffs out a small laugh.

              “I’m going to write sonnets about your mouth,” Dick manages, gasping for air. Damian collapses down beside him, leans over to kiss his forehead, and Dick opens his eyes with a smile. “No, seriously, Dami. I’ll write you sonnets about the way you suck cock, sonnets and ballads and poetry.” Damian laughs, kisses him once on the mouth, and Dick drags him down for a proper kiss, tasting himself on the Robin’s tongue. His hands search lower, fingers curling around Damian’s leaking erection. “Haiku, songs. Anything you want, Dami.”

              “Anything I want?” Damian mumbles, hips canting up as Dick rubs a thumb over his head. Dick nods, kisses haphazardly at Damian’s jaw. “Let me fuck you. Now, like this.”

              “…not a lot of lube in me, Dami. This where you want to make it hurt?” Dick asks softly, fingers tightening as Damian’s cock jumps in his hand. The Robin nods once, and Dick grins. “Yeah, let’s do it.” Damian kisses him again, long and deep, before pulling out of Dick’s grip and reaching for the lube discarded on the other side of the bed.

              “On your stomach, Grayson,” he instructs over his shoulder, and Dick rolls over, pillowing his head on his arms. “I want to see myself vanishing into that ass of yours.”

              “…I don’t think I can get hard again,” Dick murmurs, stretching to watch as Damian settles in behind him.  Damian pauses, quirking an eyebrow up, and Dick shrugs. “I’m not a teenager anymore, babybat.”

              “We don’t have to,” Damian says, smoothing a hand along the curve of Dick’s ass. “If you would rather, we can wait?”

              “Nah, I want to. Just, don’t take it personally if I can’t get off again.”

              “You will tell me if this is too much,” Damian orders, reaching up to grab a handful of Dick’s hair and shake him. Dick groans, spreading his legs and Damian sighs. “Grayson. Dick. You’ll tell me. I need to hear you say it.”

              “…yeah, D, I’ll let you know if I’m not into it.”

              “Good,” Damian says, soft and smug as he pulls harder on Dick’s hair before pressing his face back down into the pillows. Dick grins, twisting as Damian’s weight presses down on top of him, the Robin’s arm curling around beneath his shoulders and teeth catching against his shoulder. “Deep breaths, Grayson.”

              Dick obeys, swallows against a suddenly dry throat and breathes in. Damian’s thumb slides carefully along his crease, and he breathes out in a rush. He grabs for the arm around him, twining their fingers together and kissing Damian’s palm. Damian hums, giving his hand a tight squeeze, and presses in.

              For a moment, the stretch is gentle. Dick relaxes into it, shuffles back towards the pressure and let’s Damian press his thighs further apart. Then, Damian pushes in a little deeper and Dick flinches away from the sudden burn of pain.

              “…Grayson, it’s really, you’re really…” Damian’s voice is low and breathless, chest pressing against Dick’s back and arm tight around his shoulder. Dick reaches his free hand up to grab at Damian’s hair, and the Robin’s hips jerk forward. It’s a little too deep, and Dick groans, forehead hitting the pillows. “Steady, Dick,” Damian cautions, easing back until he’s barely inside.

              “Mm, less steady, D,” Dick manages, laughing as Damian huffs against his ear. “Let me have it.”

              “Safeword?” Damian demands. Dick groans again. “Say it please.”

              “Oh my god, Damian Wayne, I love you and I love that you want to make sure I’m okay, but my safeword is flapjacks and I swear if you ask me to consent one more time I’m going to punch you in the throat.”

              “Like you could manage that,” Damian returns, and Dick can feel the smile against his shoulder. He starts to say something, a flirty retort, but Damian shushes him softly. “Grayson, keep your tongue inside your mouth. I don’t want you to bite it off.” And with that, he thrusts back in.

              Dick cries out, the force of the movement shoving him roughly against the sheets. There’s a sharp, sliding burn between his legs, and he grabs desperately at Damian’s forearm still wrapped tight around him. There’s a brief respite as Damian pulls back again, and Dick takes a gasping breath before the teen pushes back in, stretch greater than before and the burn pressing deeper into Dick’s stomach.

              “S-shit, D, you always this big?” he manages, laughing breathlessly even as Damian thrusts again.    

“Half way in, Grayson.” Dick swears, arching up as Damian pushes a little deeper. He flinches away from the thrust, trying to press his hips back to the mattress with a soft curse. “Relax. Deep breaths. You’re not a virgin, Grayson, we both know you can take this.”

              “You’re gonna cut me in half,” Dick grits out.

              “And you’re going to lie here and let me,” Damian purrs, hand squeezing around Dick’s throat as his hips push forward with a particularly rough thrust. Dick whines, and Damian drops down into him.

              “Wait, wait!” Dick manages, voice wet. Damian’s fingers tighten around his throat and he whimpers. “G’me a sec, D, just a sec?” He gasps for air, letting himself collapse against the mattress and feeling himself spasm around the length inside him. Damian inches back, and Dick whimpers his relief into the pillow.

              “No.” Dick panics for a moment, tightens his grip on the arm wrapped around him, then Damian’s plunging back into him.

              Dick yells, sound punching out of his chest and bubbling from his throat. Fingers shift to tighten against his mouth and he screams against them, scrabbling to grasp at Damian’s wrist as the teen breathes encouragement against his ear. There’s a long, careful moment of stillness, then Damian pulls out again and Dick collapses back to the mattress with a wet groan. He can feel Damian’s cock nudge against him, blunt head pressing back between his cheeks, and tenses against the intrusion.

              “Grayson, we good?” Damian asks, fingers gentle against his lips. Dick kisses them on instinct, nodding into the pillow. Damian smiles against his neck. “Words, please.”

              “y-yeah, fuck, you’re a bastard,” Dick manages.

              “Only to you,” Damian responds, hips rocking forward. His cock drags along Dick’s ass, catching briefly before sliding away. Dick flinches, breathing through his nose as he tries to relax again. “Okay?”

              “…shit, yeah okay, do it.”

              “Hey,” Damian murmurs, low against his ear. “I love you.” Dick blinks at him, turning his head to try and catch the Robin’s expression, but Damian’s hand plasters back across his mouth and his hips slam forwards. There’s an intense pressure and then a terrible, perfect agony that has Dick thrashing against the sheets, toes curling and tears pouring down his cheeks.

              “Oh, I hate you, I fucking hate you,” Dick chokes, voice muffled by Damian’s fingers and the tears caught in his throat. Damian hums in his ear, a surprisingly ragged sound, then the Robin is thrusting properly into him.

              It’s not comfortable. There’s a steady burn with each movement, a drawn out slide that has Dick sobbing softly into his arms. Damian fists a hand into his hair, pressing him down into the mattress as he finds his rhythm, cock ploughing into Dick’s ass.

              He can feel himself shuddering against the intrusion, each bite of discomfort making his shoulders flinch and twist, pushing wounded noises from his mouth. He knows Damian likes them, can feel the intensity of his thrusts rise to match each sound. He can feel himself sinking into it, each hard push pooling painful heat in his abdomen.

              There’s the sound of wet, overwrought keening in the room, and it takes Dick a long moment to recognize his own wrecked voice, to connect the sound of muffled agony with to the thickness in his throat. He’s rutting into the blankets, trying to put more space between his ass and Damian’s cock, trying to find friction against the fabric instead.

                “Scream for me,” Damian orders, low and dangerous. Dick flinches, sob choking in his throat, and then Damian rams his cock back inside, down to the hilt in one cruel motion. Dick makes a noise, body convulsing with the searing, unexpected hurt even as fingers tighten around his throat. He gasps, tries to make a sound, body coiled tight and vibrating on Damian’s cock. Then, all at once the tension comes apart, the agonizing warmth in his belly making him spasm and cry out, hands grasping for anything to hold onto. He screams, too, a wail that tumbles out of him and catches on Damian’s hand tight across his mouth.

It’s a terrible orgasm, making him writhe beneath Damian’s ministrations. It’s wrung out of him, forced from him, and when it’s done he slumps back to the sheets with a soft sound.

              It takes him a while to come back to himself. Vaguely he’s aware of Damian’s warm weight about him, the arms wrapped around him and the softening cock still inside him. There’s a wetness there, too, a familiar sensation that lets him know Damian came inside him at some point. And still the dull, throbbing agony, his hurting flesh making him shudder and shake.

              Damian murmurs gentle things to him, soft and careful. It’s mostly nonsense, and Dick closes his eyes as the familiar voice washes over him. He shifts a little, wincing, and turns his face back into the linen.

              “…hey, D?” he mumbles into the pillow. Damian’s arm tightens around him, and he gently slides out. Dick hisses, hips flinching away, and Damian’s hand cups around the back of his neck. “Dami?”

              “You okay?” Damian asks softly. “That was...more than I expected…” Dick gives a small hiccupping laugh, sound just on the wrong side of a sob, and Damian’s hand tightens. “Dick, did I…”

              “I’m gonna have to write a sonnet about your cock, too,” Dick manages after a long moment, turning to flash Damian a tired smile. The teen’s hand smooths up over his cheek, thumb pausing briefly over his mouth.

              “You are far too verbose for a man who just got fucked that hard,” Damian complains, dropping down beside him. “I really am losing my edge.”

              “How about we give it half an hour, then you can try to render me silent again?” Dick offers, eyes closed as he cuddles in closer to the Robin.

              “I could wake you up by burying myself back inside you,” Damian counters, and Dick hums softly in amusement.

              “That’s sweet,” He says, letting Damian curl their fingers together. “I’m game if you are.” He presses a sloppy kiss to Damian’s cheek, reaching over to pull the blanket back towards them. “…although, gotta say, if you try to tell me you love me as a distraction again, I might have to hurt you.”

              “Hey, you relaxed when I said it,” Damian defends, smoothing a hand through Dick’s hair. “…you’re good, right?” Dick scoffs, eyes already closed, but Damian jostles him gently. “Dick. I deliberately hurt you. I know you didn’t safeword out, but just…you’re good?”

              “Yeah, D, I’m good,” Dick says softly, pressing a chase kiss to Damian’s mouth. “You’re going to come up with a brilliant excuse for me limping around for the next week, but I’m good.”

              “I’ll do your patrol,” the Robin promises, letting Dick settle back against him.

              “And let me fuck you on the trapeze?” Dick adds. Damian manages to bite off his startled laugh. There’s a long stretch of silence, then Damian shifts beneath him, and Dick grumbles as he buries his head further into the Robin’s shoulder. There’s a long moment of silence, then the soft click of a phone camera. “That better not be of my ass, D.”      

              “Not this time,” Damian murmurs, stroking a hand through Dick’s hair. There’s another click and Dick sighs. “Shh, I want a selfie with you looking fucked out.”

              “…a selfie?” Damian shrugs, and Dick opens his eyes to blink at the Robin. “Do I need to learn how to selfie as well?” Damian laughs, loud in the silence of the room. “What?”

              “Go to sleep, Dick,” the teen advises, tossing the phone away and curling in close. Dick resists for a moment, then sighs and relaxes into the embrace. “I’ll teach you all about it tomorrow.”

*

[latina4rmbx]

You’ll Always be my Baby

Ladies:  By a show of hands, how many of you have had sex with your partner because you needed to feel a connection after a rough patch?

Ok, lets pretend I can see those hands :)  i’m sure a good majority of you have. I know I have.

Men:  Same question-Show of hands, sex, partner, rough patch?

We’re still pretending I can see those hands.  I’m sure maybe one has his hand up, and that’s IF he’s the only one brave enough to be honest.

My boyfriend and I were going through a rough patch.  Thankfully, it didn’t last long.  As you may or may not know, I am in an open relationship.  My boyfriend and I have been going through something.  At first it was him and then it was me, but it was over the same person.

If you haven’t read “An Abundance of Love & a Broken Heart,” I suggest you do so now.  

Finished?  Cool.

So, the guy who my boyfriend was so gung ho over, is still in my life.  Our lives. I wrote in the post that we were supposed to go out on Saturday, but that didn’t come to pass.  Circumstances were that he hand to cancel.  It bummed me out, but I understood, I too have been in the same circumstances.  Oh, but my boyfriend had a shit fit.  Boyfriend said that new guy was making excuses and I shouldn’t bother with him anymore.

Now mind you, you saw how I was feeling about the whole thing to begin with.  I like new guy.  I have always liked new guy (and if I said this already, well, I’m repeating it because it’s the truth).  Because I liked new guy, I was different with him, when it came to my boyfriend, than I have ever been with anyone else.  I was more private.  I even told my boyfriend that I was protective of the new guy.  It’s the truth, I am protective over him, because he IS a good guy.

So I allowed myself to ignore my boyfriend when it came to new guy.  That wasn’t fair to my boyfriend.  He definitely made his feelings known.

In order to make an open relationship work, there has to be honesty.  You have to be honest, even if it hurts the other person.  We have to keep the lines of communication open so that the person you’re pledging to be in the relationship with doesn’t feel insecure or unwanted.

The first time I was going to hang out with new guy, I told my boyfriend when I was outside waiting for the Uber to take me to my destination.  I didn’t let my boyfriend know ahead of time and that pissed him off.  So he had a series of questions for me:  The first of which was, “did you hit him?”  For those of you not in the know, when he says “hit,” he means contact.  He’s ghetto from the Bronx, it’s how we speak.

Here is the conversation, via text, thankfully.  It’s very revealing:

BF: I don’t understand. I thought we spoke about him

ME:  What did we speak about him?  (Me playing dumb)

BF:  Nevermind. Did you hit him

ME:  Yeah

BF:  Didn’t I tell u  Not to  Unless he hit you? Hello

ME: Yes you did

BF: Soooo

ME: Sooo

BF: You horny

ME:  I’m curious

BF:  Hmmmmm  Aight

ME:  You’re upset

BF:  No

ME: You are

BF: Enjoy ur night

ME:  First time I don’t listen

BF:  Keep me posted

ME: See what I mean

BF:  I see.  t’s going to be a trend

ME:  A trend?

BF (via voice note): If you ain’t hit him up he probably wouldn’t have fucking hit you up  that’s why I tell you value yourself don’t hit a fuckin’ nigga up unless they hit you up.

I’m going to fast forward a bit because rereading and rehearing it is pissing me off.

BF:  Ima ask u again  Are u horny

ME:  I answered u already

BF:  Fuck curious Yes or no

ME:  You know I won’t lie

BF:  Yes or no

ME: Yes

BF:  Was that hard 

ME: Why do you ask?

BF: wanted to know

ME: for what purpose?

Again I’m fast forwarding because the other crap is boring and more of the same.

BF:  You staying in his crib

ME:  I don’t plan to

BF:  Ima see u when I get off work

FAST FORWARD AGAIN

BF:  You got sexy panties

BF: on

ME: No

ME: Polka dots lol

BF:  Male face palm emoji

BF: Have fun

ME: ok

BF: Suck a mean dick

ME: laughing tears emoji

At this point I’m in the new guys apartment.  We’re sitting drinking and talking.  My boyfriend was not having it and he was texting me.  I told him I was going to leave my phone in my bag so if I didn’t contact him quickly he knew why.  That didn’t go over well.

BF:  Walk yourself out

ME: What the fuck

BF: Stay focused.  your mine  (that’s not a type o, it’s what he wrote.  I love that he spelled it wrong because he knows the right way to spell it.  that’s how annoyed with me he was).

We weren’t good after that night.  There was a series of events that led us to not being good.  I take responsibility for my fault in the situation.  He still hasn’t.  He let me have it, in his own way.  I wasn’t able to respond to his messages because I was driving.  That didn’t sit too well with him because he thought I was ignoring him, yet again.  Even worse, he thought I was ignoring him for the new guy.

So now, every time I take long to respond, he thinks I’m texting with the new guy.  The WYD’s are more frequent.  Like I said, I’m honest, so I’m not going to lie to him, but I don’t want to hurt him again.  It doesn’t mean I’m going to lie.  I can’t stand lies.  Anything I post on social media now gets questioned because he thinks I’m trying to sub him (for those of you that don’t know what the term “subbing” is, it’s when you add a post and it’s supposed to be a subliminal message to someone.)

Here’s one such conversation:

BF:  The whole time u ignoring my text were u texting?

ME: No

BF:  U can be honest

ME: why u keep asking me that

BF: if u were 

ME: I would be honest

This is a huge shift from the confident, swaggerastic man I started with.

BF:  take me back to the night we met para no ir.  Interesting (para no ir means so I won’t go)

ME: Y vas a seguir (and you’re going to continue)

FAST FORWARD AGAIN

BF:  Love me?  u haven’t told me all day

ME: I do love you

BF: Even though i had to ask  to tell me, not like it came out natural

FAST FORWARD AGAIN

BF:  Is he taking my number 1 slot.

He asked me to do something.  Block someone on social.  Now, mind you, I don’t personally know the person he told me to block.  When he said it, it was almost as if he had a remote control and I just did it.  I didn’t think about it or fight back.  Then I realized where the issue was.  He feels he was losing control over me.  I told him:  You are spoiled.  I do give you everything you ask with barely any fight.  HIM:  and that’s my obsession with u.  never been catered (he’s never been catered to)  

Ok, I ended up seeing the new guy again and became distant with my boyfriend again.  I know that I brought this one on myself.  He face timed me and I hung up.  I wasn’t thinking clearly, he literally woke me up and I couldn’t figure out my phone.  Believe me if you want, don’t, if you don’t.  But it pissed him off so much he laughed.  He laughed hard and then became silent.  I don’t like the silent boyfriend.  I need to hear his voice, see his words, know what he’s thinking.  I am also obsessed with him.

I think he thought he was losing me.  He came to see me and he made love to me.  He held me and he kissed me and he looked at me.  Almost as if he were searching for the person he fell in love with.  I’m still in there.  I’m still here.

So, we finally move passed all of our drama and this is our conversation:

ME:  I have way more than your attention sir (winks face emoji)

HIM:  Def do (he sends a video - I forget of what then he says)  I haven’t been hurt in a very long time and your innocent body did just that so u powerful.

I won’t be typing anymore of our conversations, at least on this post, because we have a lot of text convo. Either because I’m at work or he’s at work.  We can’t just speak freely and due to his odd hours, we don’t see each other often, so this bickering between us really put a damper on our relationship.  But his silence...that was something I couldn’t accept.  I needed to know how he was feeling.  I need to know that we are ok.  I needed to make things right.

But I messed up again.  New guy spent the night at my apt and I didn’t contact my boyfriend at all.  This is when he FT’d me in the AM and I hung up on him.  I had a long drive ahead of me, so I was able to get some things off my chest.  I took responsibility for my actions.  I KNOW I was hurting him, but I wasn’t doing it TO hurt him.  I was giving the new guy my undivided attention.  

I explained to my boyfriend that I knew I fucked up and I’m holding myself accountable.  He accused me of justifying my actions by saying I fucked up.  I’ve apologized and elaborated and asked that we move on from this.  However, like a hurt housewife, he has brought it up.  My go to response is to lash out.  “Are we moving passed it?  Are you forgiving me? If it’s no, I need to know so I know how to proceed, but if it’s yes, I don’t want to hear about it again.”

Saying those words to him gave me flashbacks to when I was with my daughters father and I found out he was cheating.  I would always take him back due to my immaturity level and pride.  I would eventually bring up the other women and he’d say the same thing, “If we’re moving passed it, stop bringing it up.”  I felt so bad because I remember how I felt when I heard those words.

I understand that he is hurting and he needs to get it out in the only way he knows how...communication.  I don’t mean to be dismissive of his feelings.  He doesn’t deserve that.  I want him to be himself again.  I want him to love and trust and feel secure with us again.  

Today was a good day.  He’s the one who suggested I write this post.  I told him that I write about him often and he suggested, “you write about when you hurt me.”  I even asked him for help starting it.  BTW, I didn’t start it the way he wanted me to, but i will finish it the way he wanted me to start it.

“So as much as I’m hooked to his swag when I’m around other men I seem to float and (be) careless and enjoy the moment.  Taking it all in.  Having to deal with the consequences later.  Which later u regret of course but at the end, he still wins my heart and love.”

Hey!  I love you with all my butt.

XOXO

Thanks for reading.

[moritzstiefelwiki]

Yooo for the detailed headcanon meme would u mind doing like... all the ones ure able to for Hanschen? Like feel free to skip as many as u want but itd be cool to hear ur thoughts on my Best Boy

Um? Little Hansy Rilow? Jackass Extraordinaire? Love of my life? Ofc I’ll do as many as I can!! Thanks so much for sending these! I hope you like them and I’m sorry they took me so long! (Also I answered these out of order and towards the end I was running a bit low on steam so there are some answers that are Not So Good mixed in there, sorry)

Under the cut or on Ao3 here :) 

1. What does their bedroom look like?

I think for the most part it would be tidy. Bed made, desk (mostly) clear, etc. He’s got some laundry on the floor, a couple of books lying about, and his jacket as well as his school things are never put away but everything else is in it’s place. 

His desk is by the window so he can make good use of natural light and It’s usually got assignments for school on it as well as whatever books might go along with them when he’s not using it. 

He keeps a small collection of books in his room- his favourites. Whatever he’s currently reading is kept on his bedside table and everything else is stacked by his desk but they should be on the shelf in the living room. 

He’s a nerd.

2. Do they have any daily rituals?

 I don’t think he would, not outside what he needs to do (school). Not unless you count him monologuing while he masturbates as a ritual, I have a feeling that’s a daily thing. 

3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

 He does not, he would much rather lounge somewhere comfy with something he finds enjoyable. A book, a person, a puzzle, etc. 

4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

I can see him being like “Everybody, get out of my way” (This is meant to be read in John Mulaney’s voice from the thing where he followed this with something like “I’m just here to feed my birds”) but I can also see him just clearing enough space for himself and getting to work. I guess it depends on who’s in the kitchen making what and what he’s going to be making. He’s not going to be interrupting someone that’s making cake or pastries just so he can cut vegetables in peace. 

5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

His parents/governess were somewhat strict about cleanliness when he was a child so he makes an effort to keep himself well groomed, especially when adults are present. No dirt under his fingernails, his clothes and hair are neat etc. He’s less concerned about it when he’s with the other boys and even less when he’s relaxing, either by himself or with Ernst, but he still somewhat pays attention to how much dirt he’s getting on himself or how much work it will take him to make himself look properly presentable before he finds himself around adults again. 

I think I got into workspace okay with his bedroom? He’s mostly tidy because he has to be, any disorder in his room can easily be taken care of. 

6. Eating habits and sample daily menu

I think he would love sweet things (candy, fruit, berries, etc) and he’s always a slut for baked goods. I have no idea what kind of things ppl usually ate in 1890′s Germany. 

7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

He only really considers time wasted if he’s not spending it on something he likes to do or needs to do. So he has no favourite way to waste time, he only feels as though he’s wasting time if he’s bored out of his mind for no good reason. 

8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

Ernst. It really isn’t safe for him to be smooshing booties in a vineyard with another boy but? He’s doing it. And being all poetic about it too ofc, he really likes Ernst. 

If he can indulge he will, he loves it. Life’s too short to deny himself pleasure, so long as said pleasure doesn’t harm him and/or get in the way of him becoming a millionaire.  

9. Makeup?

None. I can see him maybe trying, or at least wanting to try makeup at some point? Never with anyone around or if there was a chance of someone catching him though. (I’m a sucker for boys in makeup tho and I think modern Hanschen would enjoy makeup. If u want to hear a bit more abt that u know how 2 contact me)

10. Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

Neurotypical Hans™

11. Intellectual pursuits?

Literature and languages. He loves reading, loves diving into a book and analyzing characters, plot, symbolism, all of it. He loves talking about them as well, he could talk for hours about his favourites. He’s fascinated by other languages and speaks a handful rather fluently as an adult. He probably also enjoys reading the same book but translated into different languages because no translation is exact and it’s always interesting to see a slightly different take on things. 

I can also see him having interest in biology? Because science is fascinating and it’s amazing how diverse and intricately designed living things can be. 

12. Favorite book genre?

He talks about the books he likes when he’s jerking off so I don’t think I really need to get into that lmao 

13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

Multisexual. Bi/pan/ply/whatever. A pretty person is a pretty person & all that.

I think he might see the idea of sexual orientation as a little silly or perhaps performative? He understands that he’s expected to only like women and knows that once he’s older he’ll be expected to marry one, to have children etc etc. So for the most part he keeps his attraction to men to himself (Ernst being a very obvious exception, likely not the only one but it’s not something he would ever reveal lightly) and he thinks that most people are doing the same in order to avoid being judged negatively by their community.

Something along the lines of “everyone is only acting like they’re exclusively attracted to the opposite sex because it’s what’s seen as normal. They don’t want everyone else to point fingers at them calling them sinners and sexual deviants and condemning them to hell so they deny themselves half the beauty the world has to offer. For this same reason, they’re quick to attack anyone around them who might be revealed as queer. They’re so focused on keeping their own secret safe that they never realize everyone around them is keeping exactly the same one.”  

14. Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

15. Biggest and smallest short term goal?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?

Biggest: “When I am amillionaire”Smallest: I don’t think he has any small goals tbh ? 

17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

I’m not rly sure what this one’s asking tbh?? He likes looking nice tho.

18. Favorite beverage?

Hot chocolate 

19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Have you prayed tonight, Desdemona?

(I think a recurring theme would be his future- what he wants, what he can get, how he can get it etc.)

20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

I’m stickin 2 sex ones bc otherwise it’s Too Vague and stresses me tf out tbh

Turn-ons: hair pulling, necking (he loves hickies but he’s strict about not having any that might be visible), being straddled, nice thighs, a good ass, little gasps and moans, begging

Turn-offs: bad kissing, poor hygiene, not listening to/paying attention to his feedback, going too fast (Mr. “half-closed eyes, half-open mouths, and turkish draperies” would Def love foreplay and teasing,, trying to skip right over it is? A no.)

22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

23. How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

See 1  

24. Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

See 11 (he’s pretty good at everything tho)

25. How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

Long dead because it’s 2017, but 5 years from the show he probably sees himself in university. 

26. Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

I don’t know what his plans would be but I’m sure he’s got some cushy career in mind that he wants to work towards. He’s a Rilow, he doesn’t need a backup plan. 

27. What is their biggest regret?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

Ernst. His worst enemy is probably whoever is second in the class rankings, if you go by the play. Melchior in the musical. Little Hans is In It To Win It. 

29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

His brain shuts down for a minute and then he realizes that yes, this is happening and oh dear god I need to get out of here. He tries (and fails) to give the impression that he is calm, cool, and collected but he’s doing pretty good for someone who is screaming internally as loudly as he is.    

30. Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

He just keeps going. He tries to act like everything is fine, to show that he’s strong. The second he’s alone he deflates. He’s depressed af but does everything he can to hide it. 

31. Most prized possession?

I’m not sure what exactly, but it’s something fancy and adult that makes him feel sophisticated. He won’t admit how much he loves it though. 

32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?

👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌there👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my self 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠOOOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit

33. Concept of home and family?

He thinks of it as faintly ridiculous. 

“Why are these people somehow more important than others simply because you share blood? Shouldn’t the value of your relationship with someone have more to do with how well you get along and care for each other? What’s the point of marriage, you put on a show so you can have children as you’re expected to and this absurd cycle repeats with your children and so on.”

34. Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

He greatly values his privacy, he usually only shares exactly as much information as is necessary. Unless he trusts you, in which case he doesn’t s hut the fu ck u p 

35. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

See 7

36. What makes them feel guilty?

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

37. Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

Analytical for the most part. He knows what he wants out of life and  what he needs to do to put him on the path to getting it. I feel like he operates with a mindset a bit like “people can leave you but things are forever” and so he’s pretty okay with making decisions that hurt people (himself included) if it will benefit him financially, academically, raise his social status etc. 

38. Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

A? I don’t know tbh, my knowledge about this is limited to the 30 seconds I spent skimming the wiki article   

39. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Peace and quiet, being alone. Bonus points if he’s somewhere pretty and/or rly comfortable.  

40. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

I don’t feel I know enough about either to say lmao  

41. How misanthropic are they?

He thinks people are ridiculous, h

ryan sent me a post abt dragon dicks which got me rambling abt this one furry i follow and. lowkey shattered my train of thought, I don’t remember what i was planing 2 say here and I’m too tired to start the Thought Translation Process over again lmao 

42. Hobbies?

Reading, puzzles, Ernst, calligraphy, 

43. How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

He completed university. The only real difference between formal education and self-education is if you have a diploma people will believe you when you say you know what you’re talking about.  

44. Religion?

He’s whatever everyone else is. I don’t what religion everyone is in the show,, I don’t know shit abt religion tbh. But he believes in god, though he’s not as devout as everyone else. 

45. Superstitions or views on the occult?

Foolish. Ridiculous. Absurd. Childish. He believes in them.

46. Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

Words mostly. He’s excellent with them and loves to talk and talk and talk. 

47. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

Ernst, probably. I don’t doubt that Hans loves him dearly but I don’t think he’s in love.  

48. How do they express love?

He talks about milk. 

I can’t think of anything lmao

49. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

Tbh I can’t imagine him fighting. He probably just says something that pisses someone off and then gets knocked flat on his ass. 

50. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

I don’t think so, I think he feels almost like. I don’t think invincible would be the right word, but he sees no reason to fear it at his age. Yes, Wendla and Moritz died, but he has no plans to kill himself and he can’t get pregnant so a botched abortion isn’t a threat to him. He’s in good health and he’s got his wits about him. What is there for him to be afraid of? He can worry about dying later. 

[umbreeonic]

ummmm purple through black : ^ )

Wljvwpuwv ofc u would… smh

(Purple: 10 facts about my room)1. It’s absolutely a mess ty depression2. I have a loft bed3. I also have a chair that folds out into a bed that I’m lying in rn instead of my actual bed bc I had a sleepover like two weeks ago and I was too lazy to move my sheets to my bed from the chair4. I have a peeling wallpaper border that’s high school musical, however it’s a sticker kind of wallpaper and underneath that is a Disney princess border5. My room is pink. My brothers is also blue. Yes I am ashamed of this6. I have a four story shelf my dad made just for me7. My shutters are fucking weird idk what’s up w them or even how to explain them they’re just. Weird8. There’s like a little mini hallway for a foot and a half at my doorway bc the bathtub juts out too far9. The hatch to the bathtub plumbing is in my closet. Not fun when ur brother messes up the pipes so the plumber is in ur room for hours fixing it :)10. I have two of my great grandmas painting hanging on my wall, they’re both of roses

(Blue: 9 facts about my family)1. Paternal side is almost 100% Dutch and there’s only ~200 people in the world with our last name. It also is a weird Dutch last name because it doesn’t start with a V2. I’m descended from John Alden, the only sailor who stayed behind with the pilgrims and also the one guy to fall overboard on the Mayflower3. My biological great grandfather was a shitty husband and a shittier father but apparently his marriage after my Mimi divorced him really helped him and he managed to stabilize his life4. One of my uncles is ukranian and descended from the woman who brought Christianity to Russia5. One of my ancestors is a character in Macbeth, the dude who has “of Scotland” at the end of his name (since he was also a real person)6. My aunt was in a car crash at 17 and had a year long coma and has lived with severe rain trauma ever since, she actually has a book about it too 7. Another aunt has six kids, three biological and three adopted; she and I will fight anyone who says adopted kids aren’t real family8. My dad and his sisters and brother have a bunch of awesome stories about growing up, my favorite is about the giant tractor their dad brought home that they used as both a trampoline and a pool9. My great uncle ran for congress and only lost by 1k votes, now he’s a lawyer and also runs a buffalo farm with his son

(Green: 8 facts about appearance)1. I’m like a perfect mesh of two of my aunts, I have ones body type and the others features2. My hair is the weirdest shit it’s light blonde from my dads side but curly from my moms and thin from ??? and wiry like my dads. Idk how hair can be curly thin and wiry all at once but my head sure does it3. It’s hard to see when I don’t have a tan but I have white birthmarks right by my eyes that are kinda similar to altean markings4. Once I didn’t wear sunscreen to soak city when I went with a friend and I got bright pink sunburn and once it healed my nose has been darker than the rest of my face5. When I was like 11 this science center close to us had a ripleys believe it or not exhibit and we went and this height predictor said I’d only grow to be 5'1" but today I’m 5'4" so suck it ripleys6. My eyes are green on the outside rim and hazel on the inside rim with tiny gold flecks throughout, and the super cool thing is that it’s literally my mom’s eyes and my dads eyes superimposed together7. I’ve always had super dark eyebrows, they’re extremely dark brown despite me having white blonde then light blonde hair8. I have super thick strong nails so it’s really easy to grow them out past a centimeter and people always point them out and say “how”

(Yellow: 7 facts about my childhood)1. I was able to pronounce words fairly easily however my cousin wasn’t. I looked up to her immensely and upon hearing her say a word wrong I would then start to say it that way too2. I hated getting in trouble in school I can count all the times I got disciplined… two time outs in kindergarten, and warning card in first grade, one warning card in second grade along with losing a teacher dollar, writing lines in fourth grade, a demerit in middle school3. The first word I ever spelt on my own was “hop” but it was completely by accident, I was writing down random letters for fun and it just so happened to spell hop in one spot. My mom bought me a picture book titled “Hop, Hop, Hop!” to celebrate4. When I was little my Mimi had an australian shepherd and every day when I’d get home from school she’d waggle her butt in happiness cause she didn’t have a tail5. Every summer until a couple years ago we’d go as a family to this kiln shop and paint a little statuette, it’s up in idyllwild where we go every summer for a camp we work at6. Said camp is practically my second home holy shit like if I wanna be super nostalgic about my childhood I’m gonna have to go with the two words “Camp Dunamis”7. When my brother was a toddler his favorite thing to do was grab my hair out in clumps. We still aren’t sure if that was a factor in how thin my hair is

(Orange: 6 facts about my home town)1. It’s named cypress because the first school planted cypress trees to shield from the wind2. My house is only a couple hundred yards from the county border so when we turn the corner we’re going from Orange County to LA3. There’s the best Mexican place right across the street that we used to go to all the time and we’re still lowkey friends with the family that owns and runs it4. We live in a homeowners association aka a gated community without a gate and this is why we avoid the crime rate cypress has5. Coyote Season™ aka “take the hiking stick so you can whack them on the nose if they go for the dog”6. The military base has a Fourth of July celebration we usually attend annually

(Red: 5 facts about my best friend)1. To start I’m gonna clarify that I’m gonna do one fact for five best friends; okay my friend emma is a Disney genius she’s forgotten more about Disney than you will ever know2. My friend daisy writes her own songs and they’re divine3. My friend kaleb is super into dnd and even made chain mail Armor for it… out of soda pop tabs4. My friend hannah is absolutely enamored by pigs and last time I checked her stuffed pig collection was over 305. My friend Melanie is fluent in German because she went to continuation school for a year there after she graduated

(Pink: 4 facts about my parents)1. They were set up by a mutual friend and literally met at our churches annual choir performance2. Mom is California born and raised while my dad grew up in both Puerto Rico and Michigan3. They both work at the same school so I’m a double staff kid4. *sighs* republicans

(White: 3 facts about my personality)1. I go from nice and sweet to absolute asshole in .01 seconds2. I am a stubborn mule, hear me bray3. I kinda just absorb certain personality traits from the people I’m close to so looking at my friend group gives a pretty good picture of my personality as well

(Grey: 2 facts about my favorite things)1. Voltron is really the first fandom I’ve /been/ in been in2. Drawing is hard and painful but you improve So Much when you join a fandom it’s ridiculous

(Black: 1 fact about the person I like)1. He’s absolutely amazing and I love him and I squeal into my pillow whenever I remember that we’re together 💚

[the-origin-story]

Origin Story Character Text Posts +Cyra, Jean and Kira and The Squad

Kira: Someone: *tries to guilt trip me* Me: the jokes on you!! i feel guilty 97% of the time for Everything I Do!, if i didn't have have depression no one could fucking stop me. i only have depression because otherwise im too powerful., please don't flirt with people i secretly like it's rude and disrespectful, i have three moods: fuck off, fuck you, fuck me., im cute and small and ready to brawl, "talk about" hahah, no no, i prefer to internalize all my problems so they eat away at me from inside until im unable to function in any way, no offense @life but can a have a breather...a break...some slack..., yea boys are cute but they disgust me and constantly disappoint me, she's beauty, she's grace, she'll punch you in the face, 5'2 but my attitude 6'2, "If I don't have calves of steel or abs of iron by the end of this trip, I'm going to feel so cheated.", "No offense, but I just can't process the fact that someone might actually care about me.", night time would be so beautiful and fun if all men had a curfew. me?? using sarcasm as a defense mechanism???????? what?????, When a girl says she has experimented with girls, that does not necessarily mean she's bi. She may just be an evil scientist., the bible said adam AND eve so i slept with them both, list of people i'm going to fight: everyone. put your fists up i'm coming for you, stale cinnamon roll, been in this world too long, too cynical

Jean: i don't have a nervous system. i am a nervous system., pick your battles. pick...fewer battles than that. put some battles back. that's too many., Wakey wakey eggs and social anxiety, enough about sex positions has anyone discovered a reading position which doesn't get uncomfortable after 5 minutes, i'm actually pretty cool just me like 5 tries to get it right, i love freckles theyre skin stars, never underestimate my ability to find shit out, "I don't feel that sore right now, but ask me again tomorrow and I'm sure I'll have a more colorful answer for you.", my life is constantly an inner monologue of "why do i do this to myself", 90% of my day is me being nervous., every friend group has the mom friend, if you don't who it is you're it.

Cypress: biology more like BYEology because I'm out, Highest form of art: girls, i don't want to look "pretty" i want to look otherworldly and vaguely threatening, things that make every video game better: give me nice outfits to wear, let me be gay, give me a pet, yoU THINK YOU'RE REAL CUTE, DON'T YOU???? REAL FUCKING CUTE RIGHT???? i think so to, "Your aim's a little off - now look at that. You just smushed the ant. Now it can't crawl anymore.", appreciation post for broccoli, thanks for being so tasty you tiny trees, there are people out there that are the embodiment of the sun like the things they say and do light up the world and make you feel warm they are human sunshine, I slept for 8 hours straight and then 2 hours gay, fuck dating girls who are "naturally pretty". date girls who are supernaturally pretty. date a hot ass ghost. date a fucking alien., Current mood: wanting to have a hooded cloak and to be in misty forest., You Want To See Some Goddamn Optimism?, "guys prefer-" that's nice i don't care, how to look cute but like you could kill someone

Liam: ive been annoyed ever since i was born, members of my squad: me, I may seem like an asshole but deep down im a good person and even deeper down im a bigger asshole, I came out to attack people and I'm honestly having such a good time right now, me, introducing myself: it is i, your local asshole, my kink is when everyone shuts the fuck up, *at a job interview* Oh yes, my criminal record? The only illegal thing I've done in absolutely KILLIN it on the dancefloor. Haha, just kidding! I have killed a man., The worst part about kissing a perfect ten is the cold feeling your lips get from touching the mirror., i don't want a friend w/ benefits i just want the benefits keep your friendship away from me, Ur what we call in the scientific community a "lil bitch", have u ever met the human version of a headache, *barges out of coffin at funeral yelling sike*, i'm permanently emotionally damaged, but its chill, I'm chill, no addressing our problems we downward spiral like men, I'm wasting my youth and beauty being a mysterious eccentric loner and I wouldn't have it any other way, im alive out of spite

Beckett: world's okayest friend, Do you ever look at someone and you're like how, "What are you twelve" Yeah on a scale of one to ten bye, having 3 friends is a lot of work, "Yeah I'm going chug four servings of this entire energy drink so I can crash later and actually get some sleep.", when you see a person smile and it's like...holy shit...what is this magic...please do that again, Stop taking advantage of people with good hearts & who are emotionally vulnerable, "you're so sweet!" thank you i have abandonment issues, IF YOU'RE THE KIND OF GUY WHO KISSES A GIRL ON THE TOP OF THE HEAD WHEN HUG THEM THEN YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT MY FRIEND, beautiful cinnamon roll too good for this world, too pure, why is everyone so mean. How aren't you tired

Cyra: When a grumbly grump who hates everyone and sees the world as dark and cold and unforgiving loves a sunshiney optimist. When a sunshiney optimist who sees the best in everyone thinks the grumbly grump is the best thing out of the whole beautiful world., do you like sleeping because so do i we should do it together sometime, love yourself so we can have something in common, how many eye contact until date, beING SUPER IN LOVE WITH YOUR FRIENDS BUT IN A FRIEND WAY but also a little bit in a gay way but also in a friEND WAY, anyone have that friend that you REALLY wanna fuck but you're never gonna say anything about it, listen i didn't come here to ship it lightly ok i came here for it to consume my soul, you could take me on a date anywhere and i'd be happy. like it could be the movie theater, or watching a movie at your house. fuck you could take me outside and we could look at clouds and climb trees i do not care as long as we hold hands or something at some point., my mom thought otp meant "oh, the pain." what's the difference., My way of flirting is looking at the person I'm attracted to and hoping they're braver than I am., i;m feeling...what's the word...........gay, I AM GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE MOUTH WITH MY OWN MOUTH Softly Because I like you

Jean and Kira: i would follow you to the ends of the earth with only mild complaining, does anybody else have that friend that your pretty sure is your soulmate but in a friend way, friend(jean): fuck off stop punching me me(kira): it's called platonic bdsm, when ur best friend says something weird and ur just like...I love you but what have I gotten myself into with this friendship, do you ever look at your best friend and just "who the hell blessed me with this dork, i am the luckiest loser in the galaxy."

The Squad: "what are the chances of EVERYONE in a friend group being queer" do you realize that we all tend to flock together like penguins huddling for warmth in a cold heteronormative, world right