#no clue how they took it since i wasnt there but they just ended the conversation after that 😭😭

[purpldawne]

actually wait that poll unlocked a fuckin memory and i feel like talking about it so‼️

( not tmi or anything but in case this gets long or you don't wanna read it im putting a page break here LMAO )

ok so on my 18th birthday, my grandparents REALLY wanted to go to dinner to celebrate. i didnt really wanna, but i got to dress up so i said fuck it. this was around when debates over trans women in sports were first brought to the mainstream ( as far i know ) right. so we're sitting there in the restaurant, im eating my cake, and my grandfather starts going off about how they're letting men compete against women and how unfair it is and shit. WHILE WE'RE CELEBRATING MY BIRTHDAY. IN FRONT OF ME. THEIR GNC GRANDCHILD. WHO REFERS TO HIMSELF WITH MASCULINE TERMS EVERY TIME YOU SEE HIM. LOUDLY. it's been two years and i STILL can't believe the audacity. like YOU invited ME out to dinner and start talking that shit?? if they weren't family and we weren't in public i would have told em to shut the fuck up

[puhpandas]

greg’s ggy arc hits harder bc no one would even realize he wasn’t acting like himself, so no one knew to help him. he went to a whole new school, his parents already likely being dead, only knew tony and ellis for like a couple months, and even if he were around ppl that could’ve noticed, mimic’s version of gregory was probably just as convincing as the real one. almost like… coughs… paralleling what happens in ruin, with cassie not realizing he was a fake.

doesnt help that greg only had access to awful therapists who never took him seriously until it was too late… and the fact that he wasnt able to speak up for himself once in the tapes, whether he was controlled or not… like even if we do get new info about his situation, id say greg still had it pretty rough

gregs mind control situation feels so different than vanessas because we truly have no idea how it happened to him initially and how he broke free. for vanessa, it was being at the wrong place at the wrong time and a complete accident. for gregory, we have no clue whether it was the same

and vanessa had to be manipulated to be broken down enough to become vanny, at least initially. theres a lot of insight in the 71 tapes. tape wise though gregory isnt implied to be manipulated, but the one doing the manipulating.

was gregory manipulated to become rab? if vanessa had to be broken down for vanny/glitchtrap to control her then was gregory the same? what would have mimic manipulated with him to get him ready for rab? was he not even manipulated at all and 'the wizards most favored apprentice' is trying to tell us that since hes the favorite his control was doubled down on?? is he just so trapped and forced under because of mimic using all its energy on him that he didnt even need to be? does he get ANY freedom like vanessa does?

its just so clear that vanessa and greg had very different experiences being controlled and glitchtrapped. of course vanny hasnt gotten tons of present-vanny screentime but rab hasnt gotten ANY. most people dont even know he exists. i think something focusing on rab/gregorys end of the control and then something focusing on both rab AND vanny would be the best case scenario

[navy-leader]

AH. Idk if my ask went through so, I’ll just ask again in case. I don’t remember how much you care about Chosen and the Dark Lord as a dynamic, but I’m not an expert on them and you seemed to post about them quite a bit SO. May as well ask for your opinion. I can’t send links in anonymous asks, but Sweet Hangman by Elliotly to me feels like a song from the Dark Lord’s perspective about Chosen.

I care about them a whole lot and GOOD LORD does that song fit my intepretation of Dark very well

To me, theyre a pair of overpowered ultraviolent codependent freaks who had zero socialization outside of eachother. They had nothing but eachother for years and even so theyve yet to learn a lot about eachother. They know goddamn near everything about eachother, their little quirks, their icks, their fears, their violent moments, but they never really grow as people just by being with eachother. They dont agree on everything, in fact they disagree quite often and those disagreements often end in violent fights, theyre both godawful at communication and arguments often devolve into fists, but they cool down at the end and move on with their day, its just how they worked with eachother. They got a lot of issues tangled in each of themselves and the other party isn't very well equipped to untangle them so things just stay tangled or get even more tangled. They consider eachother their best friend, no one else in the world gets them because they've never gone out much into the rest of the world, they dont let people in easily, and their social skills are so fucking shot.

Now individually, Dark has a tendency to follow and serve people even if she doesnt realize that herself, she was created with a purpose and followed that purpose until it got her cornered and ever since Chosen took her hand shes just been following and doing what Chosen was doing, and she didnt really realize Chosen's change of heart and thought that he was just being a gloomy weirdo and pulling away from her for no reason so she tried to earn back his affections by planning to destroy the rest of the internet. Because thats what Chosen wouldve wanted, right?

Chosen is a gloomy weirdo who has trouble empathizing and has a tendency to be in his own head too much, he does genuinely care about Dark its just that he doesnt really see what she actually needs and doesnt really think of himself of any importance to have his actions have an impact on others. When he realized the destruction he created with Dark was going too far he hadnt thought to really communicate that to Dark because he just assumed that Dark would get it, because theyve always went off the little clues they get from the other instead of saying anything directly, so itll be fine, right?

Anyways the entirety of AvA 5 was just a gigantic lack of communication and misunderstanding and Dark had created the virabots and plan to destroy AlansPC with Chosen in mind but turns out Chosen wasnt cool with that!! And of course like every other time they disagree they Fight instead of communicating like well socialized people 😭

And god id talk more but this is getting too long jahdgjw. Thank you for the ask!!!!

[luimagines]

Omg random thought but its too cute/funny (to me) not to share

Context: Time is married to s/o, who he’s known since like the beginning of his adventures. His s/o took the role of a rebellion leader during the seven years he was asleep and is just a badass.

Imagine for some reason, the chain encounters a younger version of Time (like late teens/early 20’s) who is a slightly more childish and playful. They end up naming him Mask due to the hoard of masks he carries. The group thought it would be best if Mask wasnt aware his relation to the old man, a secret surprisingly hard to keep! One night before the boys went to bed the topic of love interests got brought up. (No clue how, probably Sky talking about his Zelda or Wild reminiscing about the few memories he has with Mipha)

During most of the conversation, both Mask and Time stayed quiet. The latter for obvious reasons but the former not so much. Suddenly a loud groan is emitted from the younger man, who in tandem, throws himself back onto the grass in a dramatic gesture. When asked if he’s alright by one of the boys, they are met with another groan. The camp falls silent for a moment before Mask sits up once again and moans about how he wishes he could confess to the intimidating leader that has won over his heart.

He continues to rant about how stunning and majestic they are. How inspiring and strong they’ve become. How they could -and would-beat him in any fight. Yet he sorrowfully proclaims how even though he’s the hero of his hyrule, they would never share the same feelings. “ How could they? They could win the hand of anyone of their choosing with just a glance.

While this is happening all the boys are TRYING SO HARD NOT TO SAY ANYTHING. Sky and Wind are trying to reassure Mask that he absolutely has a chance. Warriors and Legend have to step away as to not bust out laughing at the dramatic scene. Wild and Hyrule distract themselves with what remains of their dinner (but their also this 🤏 close to losing it). Four is side eyeing Time HARD (like “this was you? Cmon man”) and poor Twilight looks so like he’s about to give away the whole secret.

“But where’s Time?” you ask. At the beginning, Time had to lower his head to block the view of the mass cringe on his face. But once Mask had quieted down slightly, he cant help the gentle smile as he caresses his wedding band. Mask might not know his story but Time does, and he’d do it all again for those moments you’ve shared together.

I LOVE THE IDEA THAT YOUNGER TIME WAS SUCH A SIMP BUT IS LIKE “OH THEYD NEVER CHOOSE ME 😭😭😭” AND OLDER TIME IS JUST LIKE “why did they chose me” WHILE SIDE EYEING THE FUCK OUT OF MASK FOR BEING SO DRAMATIC.

anyways, love your stuff! Take care of yourself 🥰

(thank you 🥰🥰)

Twilight also cringing just as hard. "There's no way we can be related. I was never like that. I have to get it from my other side. It's drowned out. Replaced. There's no way there's any similarities."

Wild: My god, you're his spitting image.

Wind is holding back giggles as he pats Mask on the back. "Maybe you'll just grow old and never confess-"

"Wind please." Sky smacks his hand.

"And then you can adopt a nice bird or puppy and you'll have the train them with tricks and treats and get a new friend every twenty years-"

"You are not helping!"

Mask just groans louder. "Nevermind. I'm going to die alone. Leave me to my misery."

[naughtless0000]

i played and beat mouthwashing for the first time yesterday. here's how that went..

to start off, i wanna say there's MAJOR spoilers and im gonna be yapping so here we go

-

-

staring off with cool screenshots i took, just so we dont immediately jump off into the depressing yap fest

immediately said "oh boy i love playing fnaf" when i was here (i saw fanart of daisuke and it was him saying 'cmon, its just like among us, you can do this' while crawling though the vents) -

despite the implications i found this to be really fucking cool, but thats just me. and the more you think about it the more games you remember that have a scene where youre going into/coming out of a giant open mouth from the head of a character -

i still cant entirely wrap my head around the fact that swansea has this custom swan key just for him. like, haha, i get it, "swan"sea, swan key.. but where did he get it from? not the key, but the custom holder? makes you wonder how long he's had it for.

-

i couldnt find my own screenshot of him, i dont know where it went, but yimpy........ yimpy.. i have a feeling daisuke drew it, who else would it be -

-

ok, now its time for the depressing stuff

god. let me tell you about the genuine distress i felt. i had the isopropyl before it was even mentioned, so the first time i had to clear the foam to get to the medicine cabinet. i was just fucking around a little bit when i was stuck in the game (for a stupid reason might i add) so i just mixed it with mouthwash cause i was like "hey, this will make it actually better to use as real mouthwash, right?" (am i an idiot? out of game, like, am i stupid? do you understand what i was thinking though? the disinfectant? anyways..) and when it made the plain mocktail.. i was like "haha this is funny." and then it quickly became NOT FUNNY. when daisuke NEEDED IT, so i had to take the LONG ROUTE TO GET SOMETHING ELSE. AND I BLAME MYSELF FOR HIS DEATH

i know that there probably arent any different routes in the game and it was meant to happen.. but i feel like i should play it again BECAUSE COME ONNNNNN. - i got it spoiled for me that anya was pregnant when i was looking for the solution to helping her out of medical. which, by the way, i was a complete idiot during that part. all i needed to do was click on a different part of the door to continue the game, so im just stupid. you wont believe my face when i realized how dumb i was. so when she said she was pregnant i didnt have a genuine reaction to it, cause i got it spoiled. kind of the same thing for when we get to see what curly looked like before the game, but it wasnt really a spoiler to me because i had no intention of playing the game when i started seeing content for it. i was seeing fanart, and friends posting about it, but i really had no clue. so i knew of curly, and i started to recognize who daisuke was in fanart, and i knew anya but not her name, but i never saw swansea before i went onto the steam page. daisuke ended up being my favourite character.... we can all just WONDER how im FEELING NOW. technically speaking, everybody but curly does die in some way. so if you have a favourite character besides him, forget being happy- actually, scratch that. if you play mouthwashing AT ALL, FORGET BEING HAPPY. BUT ITS SO GOOD!!!! genuinely!! another 10 dollar indie game that completely ruined me!!!!!! mouthwashing is genuinely such a wonderful game, and i wonder if we could be getting another one? but i dont know how a second game would go. does curly ever get found? since he's in the cryo pod, but also (like i just saw someone say when i was looking up the word for cryo pod..) his injuries alone could end up killing him, right? maybe? he is frozen for 20 years, would that stop the bacteria from killing him? i dont know for sure. -

-

before writing this blog, i had another where i was updating as i played the game. here are a few things i said, and i'll be adding my thought now after the fact. -

I HAD EVERY RIGHT NOT TO. I NEVER WANTED TO GIVE HIM THE AXE IN THE FIRST PLACE. -

well. when you show a giant, sharp knife, its gotta be used for something other than cake. time to feast. (IM SORRY.) -

youre just an idiot. click on the door and not just the handle. -

this pretty much sums up my experience playing the game after a while (especially being a daisuke fan) -

-

anyways. two more screenshots i took

and thats pretty much it i feel like playing the game again after writing this, so maybe i'll do another post about it take this thing i made before i go

sums it up................

[prism-empurress]

you want xehanort lore? here is my best attempt based on what i know. i havent beaten the game where time travel got involved so this is uh. before things got too bad

so xehanort was a keyblade master who was training this kid ventus. then one day he felt a bit silly and wanted to restart a war for science so he stabbed a child to split his heart into two halves (ventus, pure light, and vanitas, pure dark) and then gave ventus (actively dying because of having his heart you know. ripped in half) to his old pal eraqus to deal with and kept vanitas. his GOAL was that vanitas and ventus would eventually fight and somehow form this old weapon called the x-blade (not to be confused with the keyblade despite being pronounced the same) because something something it forms when equal light and dark powers clash i think? idk. anyways i literally have no clue what happened at the end of bbs because i wasnt paying attention but iirc that plan only semi worked and ventus ended up in a fucking coma for 10 years. in the meantime i think xehanort was uh. i feel like his goal was immortality but i could be mixing him up with william afton. anyways he norted a boy. that boy was terra. basically he just possessed him. so theres terranort now. then aqua i think beat him up then dropped him off in radiant garden before going to the void

terranort then took a quick detour to get a phd in unethical science with notoriously totally definitely not the worst character ever ansem the wise. he learned about how to release peoples hearts and then uh. idr how this happened exactly BUT HE DID IT TO HIMSELF AND MAYBE CONVINCED ANSEM TW's OTHER APPRENTICES TO DO IT TOO????? anyways so oops! he now has split himself in half. not the same way he split ventus in half though he split himself in half in like a normal way, aka into a heartless and a nobody

tldr explanation for heartless and nobodies, heartless are peoples hearts that have succumbed to darkness and nobodies are the body they leave behind. if you have a strong will, your nobody is basically just a kinda funky copy of yourself without a heart. also if you choose to succumb to darkness instead of being overtaken by it, then you remain sentient as a heartless <-(this is also why sora was a very polite heartless, since he released his own heart). xehanort filled both of those conditions, so his heartless was ansem seeker of darkness and his nobody was xemnas. neither of them are ansem in any way shape or form and i genuinely cannot remember if there was a reason for him naming himself after ansem besides spite.

anyways. xemnas goes on to form a cult of nobodies with the other 5 apprentices that lost their hearts and a handful of other people he found. meanwhile, ansem sod is hanging out on the island sora and riku live on and is being weird to children. riku is feeling a bit silly and also jealous that his crush doesnt need him and so he accidentally destroys his home and starts hanging out with the demons. ansem sod decides that it would be really funny to possess this kid and so he tells riku that the darkness holds the secrets to free robux if he just succumbs to it. unfortunately no free robux awaits riku and ansem sod norts his second boy. its fine though, sora got exorcised him and then killed him with the power of friendship.

meanwhile, xemnas' cult is thriving. until it isnt. sora killed like half their members then tripped and fell so hard that he got amnesia and now hes in a coma while namine tries to fix him. theyve recruited soras nobody, this weird quiet kid named roxas, to go kill a bunch of heartless with the goal of completing kingdom hearts. what is kingdom hearts? great question im not sure. its like this big heart moon / the heart of all worlds? idk its where hearts go when theyre not heartless. xemnas tells his cult that completing kingdom hearts will give them all back their hearts and so they all are going along with it because they want their hearts back. except roxas who doesnt really care about this whole humanity thing but hes being bribed to stay with ice cream. but soon not even ice cream is enough to get him to stay. roxas decides to go out and find himself (literally!) and then immediately gets kidnapped by riku who is sad that his boyfriend is in a coma and snatched roxas to bring back to ansemtw so they could wake sora up. roxas then dies tragically. goodbye roxas!

sora then goes on to kill pretty much the rest of their members (except for axel who kills himself) and then tells xemnas to go die and then he and riku kill him with the power of... friendship........ totally just friendship

and then i stopped paying attention! hope this helps :>>

holy fucking shit, you really went above and beyond for this and I really must thank you more than just typing "thank you" here. THIS IS SO CRAZY!!! I'm fucking cackling over the robux bit too, that was brilliantly placed. I know NOTHING of kingdom hearts, but now I know...this guy! kinda! Again thank you, holy shit, I hope you have a wonderful rest of the day!

[wanderrlust0]

today was fun and we had more fun than we thought we would at this party since we werent even sure if we would go or not

edit: 11.16 / i just knew the two coworkers and my managers at the party and then just stuck with snow the whole time ofc. we got deadlifted by the girls girlfriends sister lol and she was in a whole leather/latex one piece like okayy girl youre strong. there was someone as ice king or technically simon and they were very friendly and fun. we took lemon drop shots and jello shots and i had some mixed drinks and i was sooo reddd lolol luckily it was dark but in the bathroom it was so noticeable. idk if it was but it couldve been the most ive had to drink ever or at least the most different types of alcohol ive had at once and my head started to hurt at the end but thankfully i didnt throw up!! we had a fun time tho. we got there at like 9:30ish and left around 12 or so? and sat in the car for a bit but snow got along just fine with everyone after a little while of being there and them and V talked a lot. Z asked us if we were together and were like lolol noo and he asked how we met and we mutually refused to answer & made up some nonsense so i told him to just guess even tho he would have no clue bc he doesnt know me like that and this is the most he’s heard me talk lmao. one guess was a one night hook up im like …nooo lol we never thought this would ever come up. anyways, i found out days after the party that my coworker who thru it thought me and snow were together bc she mentioned us to my boss and he knows the whole story so he told her that we werent (idk what else he told her tho since i wasnt there) but she apparently thought we gave those vibes and just looked like it and when he told me that i was like omg .. like even ice king/simon person asked us and we just mettt. i mean they were pretty gay and first asked us if we were queer bc he could tell and that was the first time someone told me that to my face so i kind of felt good?about that. like yess i wanna look queer and just not straight lolll. so i followed my coworker on ig and i see pics of her gf and i know her!! her and my bf were friends once and like were closeclose where they did stuff (this was like 5 or 6yrs ago, before i met him) and she ended up realizing she was gay or something after him and they stopped talking (mainly bc she apparently would trauma dump on him a lot). i only know about her bc years later she hit him up out of nowhere and apologized for always talking to him about her problems and that she realized she was gay and then asked if theyd wanna get lunch or something so he told me. when i saw pics of her i recognized her from tinder when i had it. they never ended up hanging out bc he thought itd be weird now that hes with me and i would feel a bit weird about it. anyways, so i literally saw her and spoke to her at the party but i didnt notice that was her bc the room was dark and it was brief. looking back now thats crazy it was her and that we both know the same person that im now dating but she doesnt know that lol and neither does he bc i justtt came to this realization. the ice king person is now her like bestie who she met on tinder. its crazy when peoples connections come to light like someone you know knows someone else you know and they have their whole history and i have mine and then you can be in the same room as them and like only one person knows the other and etc lol idk its mind boggling

[audiovisualrecall]

Brain things:

- can't make phone call with other people around, Someone will Hear me and Judge me at all whatsoever. Cannot be Perceived while making phonecall or cannot make phonecall at all whatsoever No. Feels like you Cannot put hand on hot stove burner. But Why? - making phone call and being Perceived is Not the same as Putting Hand On Hot Burner. But apparently It Is. to my Brain.

- didn't make phonecall in a timely fashion, forgot initially and then was off+then out sick, wasnt able to let customer know we had the flowers she wanted, she didnt call us apparently either, so she didnt come in to pick them up and that was last thursday. Since Friday have been afraid to make phonecall because I messed up and customer will be angry and yell at me or be upset and I will feel bad and also I have to make the perfect script with a plausible excuse/explanation bc 'I forgot' isn't good enough, and then suddenly it's 4 days later and officially a week since I was supposed to call customer originally, now it's really too late to call but also i can't just pretend nothing happened and also I put the flowers out for sale already so I can't even say we still have them set aside if customer still needs/wants them, and really what good will calling do, but dad is like but you should blah blah blah but maybe it's actually better Not to??? But also what if whether I call customer or not she calls my boss and gets me yelled at/fired???? AVOID SITUATION ENTIRELY.

- today got yelled at at 12pm for not sending an email at 10am to leadership about not knowing yet when the garden center would arrive, and/or not reaching out to regional, when u only got in at 9am and had to work on my 2 orders that were due at 12pm and had no clue the display was empty outside or that my boss hadn't considered looking into it himself when he came in at 5 or 6am since I wasn't in yet and letting them know himself??? Why would I need to send an email when we all suspect it's not coming till Wednesday? And again, I got in at 9, I was working on the computer from the minute I got in until like 11am at the earliest, possibly 11:30, then I took my 10 minute break, then I went to work on the floor and had him complain about my lack of communication, and about the windowsill under the plants not getting disted/swept a bit yesterday or this morning (I had to do the work of 2 ppl yesterday despite my team member being in bc she doesn't pull her weight anymore at all, so I had no time to consider the outdoor or the foyer, and then I cake in at 9 well after my other team member so I couldn't have reminded her to do that when I wasn't in yet?), and about how I should condense the display and take away the crates even tho we're getting more indoor plants tomorrow, etc etc.........

- can't communicate needs or issues bc they'll upset/anger the other person/cause a problem/cause a misunderstanding/take too long/it's easier to just say nothing and have a peaceful interaction even tho I'm pissed off at them for a legitimate reason, but I can't communicate it into words right so I'm not going to try anyway, and I shouldn't have to and I don't want to I hate itttttttt

- try to talk about brain thing that's causing problems. Person listening tries to offer Advice or Solution even tho the issue is not solved by those things because the issue is my brain won't let me do those things for these reasons, reply is ok but it's easier to just do the suggestion/thing in the end trust me :) like not the point it's not the point the point is my brain thinks doing the thing is equivalent to touching a hot burner pls understand I'm in distress about how my brain works and this issue at work is only a result of how my brain works and somehow getting myself to resolve the work issue would not fix the way my brain works or the distress I am dealing with. I need suggestions on how to not have my brain declare that making a phonecall is the exact same as putting my hand on something burning hot. It says Not Safe!!!!!! Don't do!!! Can't do!!!! Will cause harm/damage/pain!!!!! AVOID!!!! how do I make my brain Not do that?

- i know cause: mix of self-consciousness and anxiety (multiple types) on top of audhd. But also don't really get WHY. There must be a solution to that problem. There must be something that will make it not be incredibly upsetting to my brain to pick up the ringing phone and answer it or pick up the phone and dial and call someone. Not just work related, haven't called driving school to schedule lessons I paid for in August of *2022*. Can't do it.

- want comfort, not given it clearly outright in the moment, brain perceives as rejection bc RSD. Funtimes, not. :'c

- knowing I have problem, even knowing WHY more or less, does not allow me to magically not have the problem or logic around it somehow. Unfortunately.

- anxiety is main issue, but causing (autistic/adhd) burnout at work, which causing more anxiety which gets tied up in rsd and makes more anxiety. Yay! Want ppl to like me. Want ppl to not find me annoying.

[rowan109]

"your first love"

she felt like a dream, it all happened so fast but now we are nothing more than strangers that once knew eachother.

I saw her on the beginning of the sports day, she played volleyball while i was on the crown cheering for my own team, she was a part of the opposing team yet something about her led me to slowly gut my feelings out and fall for her.

short hair, singkit eyes, tall, patite, athletic.

i didnt believe it at first because i was in denial, i really thought i was straight to the core, knowing that a person like me hadnt experienced a same sex relationship yet.

curiosity took over me quickly as I asked a schoolmate that was close to me if she knows that woman due to the fact that i once saw them interacting once in a while. .

My schoolmate told me that she knows who im talking about. "Ash" she said. "Ash" i repeated.

What a pretty name, suits her.

but then she told me that she was taken, with another girl. I admit it bothered me a little though i paid no mind into it.

a few days later just when i was just about to move on from my mini admiration towards her, she stood right next to me when i was in line, about to get my ordered food from the canteen. i heard her voice, she was talking to her friend, i felt a tinge of heartfelt romance on my heart, i dont know why she started to grow inside my mind, it confused me alot.

This small crush went on for about a week until i heard the rumour i mostly waited for in anticipation. Ash separated herself from the woman she had a relationship with. I felt joy while thinking of plan to somehow..make her notice me in some way? i really dont know what i was thinking about but more time passed, the news of me liking Ash started to spread with the source of 'who knows'? since my loud mouth decided to tell every friendgroup that im in until i gathered up the courage to dm her. And from there on, our relationship grew. She confessed to me first dropping clues in text messages, chatting me the word "atapu" which means i love you (there was a trending vid of a baby saying i love you but instead the baby pronounces it as 'atapu'.) After dropping clues, i immediately know what she was referring to, though i acted dumb because lil ol me wanted to make her confess first. That was before both of us finally agreed to pronounce ourselves as lovers:)

So yeah, we continously went on small dates on the park, hug eachother in secret on school grounds, playing roblox together, just me and her being silly little highschool sweethearts. I admit, that was the only phase of life that made me love life more.

Well as i say, relationships arent always perfect, i once cried to her due to the fact that she made a video-story in facebook called 'my day', it contained about her with a another girl on her lap, like you know, in a flirtish way. I vented to my friendgroup about it and my other friend decides to tell her boyfriend about it (who was mates with Ash), so then, ash knew about the incident and apologizes. I felt bad for making her apologize though she told me she means it. We carried our relationship for 3 months. exactly three months until she told me she had to switch schools. in another city thats far from where i currently live in that time.

little did i know, her disapearance in our school would take a dark turn, a sad one even. and it was my fault.

i knew i couldnt handle a long distance relationship so my ass started to ignore her texts. It wasnt entirely my fault though, i stalked her tiktok account many times and took a glance at her new reposts with videos saying "that one girl when you see her in school" or silly things like that. i knew for a fact that she wsant referring to me because she couldnt see me due to her switching schools aswell.

so yeah thats why i started to ignore her texts until she told me off about it, telling me she wants to end our relationship because of the lack of communication, and how she thinks im now uncomfortable with her.

I felt bad, really bad.

and now im sat here thinking, if she hadnt switched places, would there still be an 'us'?

i still love her

my feelings came back

yeah i still text her often in a friendly way but

theres no hope on trying to get her back anymore.

[lillianlilie]

Tw suicidal thought and death!!!

This is a bit of a vent. But i just. Kinda need to say this somewhere since in rl i have the emotional skills of a fucking skunk. Like a bit ago i caught myself having like a thought about me dying in a traffic accident since at that point i was taking the bike and i imagined like a car going a bit different which would end in me dying and my immediate reaction was negativ. Like i thought that i dont want that to happen to my friends and family which wasnt new but also. That i still had so much to live for. So much to do. But what really shocked me was how surprised i was by that. Like, normally when i think about stuff like that i just am neutral to it at best and relieved at worst. I dont think i can remember ever thinking about me dying in a traffic accident or by some sickness and not thinking that that would be a good thing? Much less finding that thought scary and just. Well not wanting it to happen??? And that i now dont want it to happen took me so much by surprise. And i have no fucking clue what the hell to think about that. Am i supposed to be happy? Relieved that im doing better? Sad that as long as i can remember I’ve seen my death as a good thing? No fucking clue.

[aricharmm]

heavy rain

just finished watching a playthrough of heavy rain (yes im 12 years late to the party shush) and uurgghhhHH it upsets me how good the concept is but how POORLY IT WAS EXECUTED?>@?!#?> spoilers under the cut for basically the entire plot

i really dont mind when writers use the "unreliable narrator" thing especially for whodunnit stories because yknow. it keeps you on your toes and the thought of the writer having that much control over how you perceive their story is reaaally cool. and i think in the case of heavy rain its really cool how they only show scott's actions as a private eye when you're playing as him because it genuinely seems like he's yknow... actually a private investigator hired by the victims families. he's funny, witty, caring towards others, and in general i was naturally drawn to him since the story portrays him in such a good light for the majority of the story. i wouldve never suspected he was the killer if not for that one scene where he's extremely reluctant to cross check the names between the typewriter repair customers and origami magazine subscribers.

i just think they missed a few opportunities to create some foreshadowing so his character doesnt feel so... incomplete? when its finally revealed that hes the killer it doesnt really feel natural. like there werent any clues beforehand to make you think, "oh my god that changes everything!! it all makes sense now!!" instead i was left feeling like things werent really adding up, there were so many holes in the story that were ignored for convenience.

the idea of scott's character in general is so good but i feel like they either should've given more hints in his internal dialogue earlier in the game about his true nature (why is a serial killer like him so compassionate towards people, especially that guy from the convenience store who clearly failed scott's trials? i thought the idea of a father being unable to save his son was his motive for killing?) or cleaned up the little details about him in general towards the end.

for example, why was he so unbothered and detached when he and lauren visit john's grave yet later he gets emotional when john's death just briefly crosses his mind? how did he not have any strong reaction to hearing the gravekeeper recall in detail how john died? how did scott keep track of ethan's progress and validity during the trials when he was busy collecting evidence, especially with lauren around? how did scott keep track of ethan's blackouts in order to leave the lil origami guys in his hand? how come scott's athsma never becomes a problem during the more lengthy fight scenes towards the end? how in the hell did he manage to defend himself against like a dozen bodyguards just kinda. briskly walking around the mansion?? with way too much ammo than that tiny little revolver should be able to hold?

i think if heavy rain took a little more time exploring every single possible plot hole in its story i would call it one of my favourite story games. it really bothers me how much potential it had because i think its story deserves to be fully developed. im barely scratching the surface too, there are plenty of plot holes surrounding madison and ethan too (and norman wasnt really that interesting for me to strongly pay attention to so i cant say much about him.) its just that scott was ultimately my favourite character in the game and its so upsetting how incomplete his story feels </3

regardless i loved heavy rain (despite its annoying storytelling) and i wanna try to watch all the endings now, ive only seen two so far!!! its a really great game if you dont think about it too hard :D

[obsessive-ego]

Talking in you sleep

Musical beetlejuice x reader

Reader says Beetlejuice's name 3 times in their sleep, but hes already in their home

Sfw

Idk been thinking about this for ages

Just a small fic

It was an accident

It was no secret to anyone that you talk in your sleep, not full sentences, just a word or two, nothing too abnormal, you didn't know about this little quirk of yours until a certain foul mouthed undead demon wormed his way into your life, he was the one who told you.

...

"Ya know you chatter on in your sleep?" He'd  chuckle as if he found something truly embarrassing to bug you about.

"How'd you know? Am I that loud you can hear me in the livingroom?"

"Nah, I watch you sleep" he said it so plainly as if it wasnt super creepy.

The ghoul eventually upped his late night habits from watching you sleep, to sleeping in the same bed as you, he did this so often you stopped setting up the couch for him and just accepted your fate to be spooned every night by a creepy old dead guy who you may or may not have a crush on

...

The nights you've babbled in your sleep always brought on annoying mornings of beetlejuice teasing you, probably lying through his teeth over how you moan his name in you sleep to get you worked up for his own amusement, unfortunately you couldnt prove you didnt since your dreams never really stuck with you long after waking.

Hell with your late night chatter you even manged to summon beej once in your sleep, a night he was spending over at the Deetz, you manged to say his name 3 times in a row, spoken, unbroken, in your sleep, and boy was your face red when you woke up and saw the bastard in question sitting inches from your face with the widest shit eating grin you've ever seen on his face, that was an instance you couldnt deny saying his name in your sleep and dreaming about him, you missed him, of course you think about the demon when you two are apart, even the few days he's with the Deetz and the maitlands.

Tonight wasnt one of those nights, beetlejuice has spent the entire day glued to your side, chatting your ear off about all the scares he and lydia pulled in your absence, his stories always made you smile, the way he practically glowed green with excitement as he retold his showmanship to you.

The night went on with bad jokes and fun stories as the demon filled you in on all the fun you missed while you were doing boring adult breather things and how the two of you should mess with some unlucky breathers so he could show you how amazing he truly was, as if you needed proof that the ghoul was a ham who loved to show off.

As the two of you sat on the couch laughing away, forgetting the movie that basically became White noise to your conversation, a yawn escapes your lips

"Getting tired babes? Am I really that boring" the ghoul teased pinching you cheek

You groan and pull away "well, yeah, unlike you mister freeloader, I worked all day" you shrug before letting out another yawn

"Freeloader? Oh sugar, your words hurt" the ghoul fakes hurt, giving you an over exaggerated gasped face, with his hands over where a person's heart would be "I thought we had the mutual understanding that I was your trophy husband"

You give the demon a soft laugh "you wish-"

"Every night baby~" he purrs pink stripes slowly appearing in his hair

You freeze, it wasnt uncommon for beetlejuice to openly flirt with you, but that doesnt mean it didnt make you freeze up everytime, you werent exactly the type people lined up to date, nor were you very popular growing up, so the sudden and intense attention the demon gave you always made your heart pound.

"Uh, um, I think I'm gonna head to bed" you stammer before getting up "night beej" you mumble before disappearing into your bedroom.

The demon stifles a laugh, god slash satan you were a delight to get worked up, not to mention easy. He loved it, his favourite little breather was always so hot when they were an embarrassed mess.

The ghoul decides to finish the movie the two of you had on in the background, before heading to bed with you, he didn't need to sleep, just enjoyed being snuggled up to that soft warm body of yours, and it was more rewarding to sneak in after you were out cold, bed would be already warm, and with the added thrill of not wanting to wake you.

As the credits roll beetlejuice snaps his fingers and tv goes dark, the ghoul raises from the couch and gives a yawn and a long stretch as if he was exhausted. The demon makes his way to your room, standing outside your door he pauses at the sound of your voice

"Beetlejuice"

It was soft, barely audible, but herd it, guess you were still up, beetlejuice phases through your bedroom door, to be greeted by your sleeping form.

He stifled a chuckle, you were dreaming of him, tomorrow was gonna be great, the ghoul was already busy thinking about ways to poke fun at this in the morning, moaning out his name in you sleep? What kind of dream were you having babes? He could see your face now.

"Beetlejuice" you mumble again in a whisper

"Whoa there babes, you know the rule, one more time and I'm out" he whispers making his way to your bed.

"Beetlejuice" you sigh

"Y/N!" was the the only thing he had time to shout before vanishing.

His shout was enough to make wake you, but not enough to clue you in to what you just did, you grumble out a swear before rolling over and going back to sleep.

The next morning you wake up, a tad confused to not have a snoring dead guy weighing you down, normally on nights beetlejuice would stay over he'd slip into bed with you after you've fallen asleep, using your chest as a pillow.

You dont think much of it at first, heading to the kitchen to make some coffee before getting dressed, you did notice there was no beej there either, waiting for you kettle to boil you give your little home a quick sweep for the demon, nothing.

He's vanished to do his own thing before, he was a grown man, sometimes he'd duck out and mess with the neighbors in your apartment complex, but he would at least leave you a note or something.

You started to worry, what if something awful happened to him? Then it clicked, lydia must had summoned him away to hang out, that had to be it, and with that thought all dread left you so you could carry on with your day, since bj wasnt around you took the opportunity to get a few odds and ends done.

The day drags on into the late evening, you were enjoying the peace as you catch up on some reading.

Your phone rings, looking at the screen you see its lydia, that's odd, she normally texts you if anything

"Hello?"

"Y/n I need to ask beetlejuice something"

"Isnt he with you?"

"What? No-"

Dread returns to you chest, you havent seen him since last night, he left no note, he wasnt with lydia, did something awful happen? was he bored with you? You felt like you were going to be sick

"Y/n?"

"I gotta go" was all you could say before hanging up,

"Beetlejuice!"

Nothing

"Beetlejuice!"

Again nothing, he normally came after the second yell, anxiety for your dear friend make you since to your stomach in fear for the worst, you steady yourself and take a deep breath and say it for a third time

"Beetlejuice"

With a puff of green smoke there stood the ghoul, unfortunately sporting a purple hue

"Bee-"

"It took you that long to notice I was gone?"

"No, I-"

"Why did it take so long then? Enjoying your time without me?!" Red streaks began to show up amongst the purple

"I thought lydia summoned you back-"

"And you waited till now to check?!"

"I DIDNT WANT TO BOTHER THE TWO OF YOU" you yelled back, beetlejuice is taken abck by your volume, you take a deep breath "if I knew why you were gone I would have said something sooner, what happened?" You say calmly gently taking the demon's hand, red now fading away, though the purple stayed

"You sent me away, you said my name 3 times in your sleep and sent me back to the netherworld" he refused to look at you as if you did this on purpose to mess with him.

"Bee, I'm sorry, I would have never done that on purpose, i- i love having you around, and I, god, i miss you when you're not here, with me" now it was your turn to refuse eye contact, admitting such a cheesy thing, you wanted to just die, not that it would help.

The purple hue is quick to leave the ghoul's form in replacement with a much softer pink, you missed him, music to his ears.

"Sugar" beetlejuice grabs your chin and forces eye contact

You give him a soft smile seeing that he was no longer purple, but also when he pulls you into a rather over exaggerated dip and sloppy kiss "so how bout we make up for some lost time and you can make this little misunderstanding up to me, what do you say babes?~"

You only stutter and choke on your words as the demon spins you around

"Would you like to scare some delivery guy and watch a bad slasher?" You finally get out

The demon pauses for a moment, as if to think about this offer.

"Normally I'd be delighted honey, but I think you owe me~ how bout you have to sit on my lap the entire film~" he wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at you, you swallow the lump in your throat, this was gonna be a long night

Bonus

The two of you were snuggled together on the couch, Beetlejuice's arms were around your waist, his head on your shoulder, your bum on his lap.

"So babes, whatever you dreaming about last night?"

[bridgyrose]

Watts is tired of clearing Cinder’s mind and he is very busy so he decides to give her a pill that increases her feelings for Ruby and Weiss by 11 so she has no choice but to deal with her feelings

(Since I ended up with two asks for it, I guess I can do these together)

“You want me to do what?” 

Cinder winced as she heard Watts yell at her once more over her scroll. “Salem told you to help me with this part of the plan no matter what, right? I just need you to clear my head again of those thoughts of Ruby and Weiss-” 

“Why cant you just deal with that… little crush you have on your own?” Watts let out a sigh and sat his scroll down as he started to work on another project. “I’ve already done this twice and those feelings keep coming back. Which means either those feelings are deeply rooted into you, or no matter how many times you forget the two of them, you’ll keep finding those feelings for them. If you’re having that much trouble concentrating on your half of things, then maybe we should have Salem pull you out.” 

“No!” Cinder paused for a moment and regained her composure. “I cant be pulled away from here. I can make this work.” 

“Then deal with your crush on your own.” 

“I dont know how!” 

“For the love of…” Watts pinched the bridge of his nose and took a few breaths. “Fine, you want my help? Then I’ll help you. I know someone in Vale who will be willing to take care of your little problem. You just need to bring yourself and those two to him.” 

“And where will I meet him?” 

“I’ll give you all the details when I have things ready.” 

Cinder let out a heavy sigh as the call ended and she leaned against the wall. She had been hoping that once again he could clear her mind and remove these feelings that she had for those two distractions, but part of her realized that maybe he was right. The best way to nip this in the bud would be to deal with it on her own 

“Cinder! Cinder!” 

Cinder groaned and pressed her fist into the wall as she heard Ruby’s voice. This was the absolute last thing she wanted. Her heart started to thump in her chest as she tried to keep herself composed and attempted to keep her blush from showing. “Ruby…” 

“I’m glad you’re alright.” Ruby rushed over, a smile plastered to her face. “With the way you ran off, I thought I did something wrong.” 

“Dont worry, its not you, its me.” Not a complete lie. “Though, I think I need to spend a little time away from you. Again, its not you, I’ve just been… distracted and being around you isnt exactly helping.” 

“Oh… okay, though, I was hoping that maybe you and your team would like to join the rest of my team and team JNPR out in town? Just as a bonding exercise and to maybe get to know you guys a bit better.” Ruby’s cheeks reddened as she started to play with her finger and rocked on her heels. “I’m sure you guys already have a lot of friends, but since you’re still new to the area and visiting, we figured it’d be nice to help you guys get a little more comfortable around here.” 

Cinder felt her heart start to beat a little faster at the prospect of getting closer to Ruby and Weiss. But that was all wrong. Ruby was much younger than her, younger than everyone else at the school. Plus there was the fact that she was her rival, whether she knew it or not. And Weiss… Weiss was everything she hated. She was from Atlas, she was part of the elite that looked down upon anyone who wasnt like her… 

And yet, whenever she saw the two, they were getting along… mostly. Even behind the teasing, there was genuine care between them, care that she hadnt felt ever since that fateful day with the Madame. Ever since Rhodes had told her she’d be running, that is all she had done until she was found by Salem. 

And now, here she was, standing in front of Ruby, who genuinely wanted to get to know her. Who genuinely wanted to be her friend, and she still had no clue how to deal with the influx of emotions swirling around her. “That… would be great but I-” 

A chime on her scroll interrupted her and a small sigh of relief washed over her as she looked over the message from Watts to meet his contact at a warehouse near the docks. 

“-I think that maybe we can go somewhere alone. Just… you, me, and Weiss.” 

Ruby paused. “R-really?” 

Cinder nodded and took Ruby’s arm and started to drag her off. “I have a lot of social anxiety and dont do well with a large crowd. But if I go with you and Weiss to somewhere less busy, like say the docks, then maybe we can get to know each other.” 

“But why the docks?” 

“Because its less busy!” Cinder let go of Ruby’s arm and started to rush off. “Just meet me at the docks and I’ll explain everything there! And make sure Weiss is with you!” 

Ruby slowly nodded, her confusion still building. “Y-yeah, sure. I can… I can do that.” 

“Great! I’ll see you there in an hour!” 

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cinder tapped her foot as she looked at her scroll, cursing to herself. “Of course Ruby’s late…” With a heavy sigh she looked up as she heard a rush of air followed by a swirl of rose petals. “About time you show up.” 

“Sorry we’re late, I had to-” 

“-she got lost,” Weiss interrupted as she started to straighten out her skirt. “Though she wont admit it because she grew up here.” 

“I didnt get lost, just… turned around.” Ruby sighed. “Look, Vale’s a big city and I’m almost always here at night. Its different to come out this way when its actually light out.” 

“We were here not even a month ago with Blake!” 

Cinder pinched the bridge of her nose as she listened. I cant believe Roman has been stopped by them twice now. “It doesnt matter why you’re late, you’re here now. So we can start hanging out.” 

Ruby nodded a smile starting to show. “Then what did you have in mind?” 

“I was thinking we could go somewhere more private,” Cinder said as she started to head to the warehouse. “Somewhere we wont be interrupted.” 

Ruby and Weiss looked at each other and shrugged as they followed. Once they entered the warehouse behind Cinder, they paused at the empty building. Weiss groaned and finally spoke. 

“And what exactly were we supposed to do here?” 

“I had the same question,” Cinder muttered to herself as she walked in. She looked around for any sign of Watts’ contact as she moved deeper. “I was told this place was still active and that we’d have no problem-” 

Cinder paused as a small ball dropped from the ceiling and exploded into a black mist. She quickly covered her mouth as she looked over to Ruby and Weiss, eyes wide as she watched them cough and drop to the ground. She moved back a couple steps and stopped once she felt herself run into someone and turned around. “T-Tyrian?!” 

“Our dear doctor Watts told me that you were having a problem and since I was… in the area, I figured I’d lend a hand.” Tyrian quickly went behind Cinder and pried her hand off her mouth. “Sweet dreams, Cinder. I’ll make sure you’re awake once you’re needed.” 

Cinder started to cough as her eyes watered and her lungs filled up with the black mist. Her eyelids grew heavy as she breathed more in, and it wasnt long until she lost consciousness and finally dropped to the ground, hearing Tyrian’s laugh as the last thing before her senses faded. 

[thechangeling]

Tell me a story

Ty doesn't believe in fate.

A shout out to @ilikebooks8 for convincing me to make a fanfic about autistic!Eleanor Blackthorn. Autism is genetic so it makes sense for Ty to have autistic ancestors. If you are autistic I guarentee you have someone in your family who is also autistic they just haven't been diagnosed yet. For me, I've got my dad.

Cw: mentions of ableism, abuse and the death of a minor character. Very anti Andrew Blackthorn.

"Tell me a story," Tiberius' asked, in that mature, matter- of-fact way he spoke. Ty was only eight but already he sounded like a boy twice his age in terms of his vocabulary and the way he spoke.

Although he still had the voice of a child which was rather amusing. Eleanor turned to face her son with a groan as she felt searing pain shoot through her bones. She had been laying down all day due to feeling extremely unwell. The noises and lights of the outside world were especially brutal, but she had gotten used to it overtime. She had learned to cope. To smile and nod and make eye contact. To control her movements and still her hands and laugh at their jokes.

Eleanor played the part of the proper shadowhunter and the dutiful wife, the attentive mother. It didn't matter that it had changed her. Had completely turned her into a different person, someone harsher and colder. Someone who was so quick to anger and venomous hatred.

Someone who only knew how to be in pain.

She always tried to not let that side of her show to her children. They didn't deserve it. But the past few weeks in particular had been brutal. Her body felt broken and it was becoming harder and harder to put up that facade.

She faced Ty with the best fake smile she could muster. "Which story would you like to hear?" He climbed up on the bed beside her and sat down in an odd twisted position where his legs were in a W position. He began tapping his hands on his knees as he appeared to contemplate his choices.

Eleanor could remember a time when she was younger when she used to do that. Before her parents had stopped her. She knew she should really tell Tiberius off to discourage him from doing these things in public. He was so blatent and open in a way that frightened and almost angered her. There was no telling what kind of reaction The Clave might have.

She didnt want him to end up with the dregs, or worse.

"I don't know," Ty said finally scrunching up his eyebrows. "I can't think of one right now. Could you make one up?" Eleanor smiled in spite of herself. She had always loved making up stories ever since she was a kid. She had always been a creative person, painting and drawing as often as she could. Shadowhunters didn't really appreciate a creative streak.

Eleanor nodded. "Ok sure, let's see." She took a breath, trying to ignore the agony spreading through her back and shoulders. "Once upon a time there was a prince who was trapped in a tower that was guarded by an evil ogar. The prince had been rumored to have special powers so he was forced by his parents to stay locked away in the tower forever to keep him safe. He wasnt allowed to make friends with any other children so he grew up alone. Teaching himself how to read and write and playing games to amuse himself."

Ty rolled his eyes. "Isn't that rather cliche? The whole prince trapped in a tower story? I've definitely heard that before."

Eleanor laughed. "Where did you hear the word cliche Tiberius?" Ty shrugged, not seeing the amusement in the situation.

"It was in a book. Can you keep going?" He whined impatiently. "I wanna hear the rest."

Eleanor sighed, shaking her head good naturedly. "Alright then. So the prince was trapped for a very long time. Then one day a mysterious adventurer came exploring nearby the tower."

"Can it be a detective?" Ty interrupted, bouncing up and down. He had been obsessed with Clue lately.

"Alright sure, it was a detective. He was searching the answers to a murder mystery. The murder of a young women."  Ty instantly looked interested. Perhaps murder was not the best subject for a story being told to an eight year old, but Ty was a shadowhunter. They were trained to deal with blood and death.

"His was searching for information and came across the tower," she continued. So he decided to investigate. He snuck passed the ogar and into the tower, where he was ambushed by the prince!"

Ty gasped excitedly, wriggling in place. "What happened next? Did they fight?"

Eleanor opened her mouth to continue, but then the bedroom door flew open, startling them both.

It was Andrew. Instantly Ty shrunk himself down, hunching his shoulders. Eleanor knew that Ty didn't always get along with his father but she knew Andrew still loved him deep down. He glared at them both.

"Ty your mother is meant to be resting," he said pointedly.

Eleanor shook her head. "Oh no it's alright. He wasn't bothering me." Andrew didn't seem to hear her.

"Tiberius let's go," he said harshly. Ty hesitated for a moment, looking up at her.

"But I wanna hear the rest of the story!" He protested. "I wanna know what happens to the prince!" Eleanor sighed solemnly. She didn't want to disappoint Ty, but she was feeling pretty worn out.

"Another time baby," she assured him. "I promise."

But unfortunately she never got the chance. She never got the chance because little did they know, Eleanor Blackthorn had cancer. Something that silent brothers couldn't cure. Something that shadowhunters were powerless against.

"What are you thinking about ?" Kit murmered from his spot curled up against Ty's chest. His breath tickled Ty's chin.

Ty paused, not quite sure how to answer. They were lying on the roof of the LA institute again. It was their special spot. Kit had suggested a night of star gazing for a date since the weather was nice.

Things has been a little weird between them lately. Kit had been pretending that everything was fine and he was unfazed, but Ty could tell that something was bothering him. And he had a feeling he knew what it was.

At Magnus and Alec's anniversary party, Jace made a joke about how Kit and Ty would probably be the next ones to get married and Ty immediately went into a blind panic. He completely froze up at the mention of marriage. At the mention of him getting married. His body instantly went into a complete overload almost as if he was on the verge of a meltdown.

He didn't take the time to think about any of it. He just snapped and yelled that he wasn't getting married. That he wasn't ever getting married. Ty wasnt even sure where it came from. Kit was pretending like it wasnt a big deal but Ty knew he was hurting. He could tell.

Ty traced a pattern across Kit's arm. "Honestly it was nothing," he assured him. "I just-." Ty stared at Kit, studying his face. The curve of his lips, the adorable blush of his cheeks and the tiny beauty mark under his eye that Ty loved to fixate on. Everything ached, but it was a good kind of ache.

Ty loved him.

"I just want to stay like this forever," he murmered. "Here with you, where I feel safe and warm. And loved." Ty nuzzled his nose against Kit's. "I want to be with you forever."

Kit smiled distantly before breaking into a slight frown. "Then why don't you wanna marry me?" He asked sadly. And Ty could instantly hear the old ghosts of self loathing and insecurity still haunting Kit's thoughts.

Ty sighed. "It has nothing to do with you I promise. I just really don't want to get married and I'm not even fully certain of why exactly."

Kit stroked his cheek slowly. "Is it the idea of a big wedding? Because we don't have to do that you know. We can totally just skip it," he said assuredly.

Ty shook his head. "That's part of it but it isn't the only reason." He paused to contemplate what exactly it was that was making him feel this way, feel so afraid.

Strangely enough, Ty kept coming back to his mother. His mother who was always a little peculiar in private. Who always seemed sad and exhausted even before the silent brothers diagnosed her. Who was constantly going along with whatever her husband wanted for whatever reason. Because she assumed he knew what he was doing? Because she didn't want to make waves in a society so rigid and obsessed with conformity?

Ty had been considering it more and more lately.

He sat up, displacing Kit from where he was resting. "I think my mother was like me," Ty admitted in a shakey voice. "I think she was autistic and that's why she ended up in the situations she did."

"Ok?" Kit looked confused. "But that still doesn't explain-."

Ty interrupted him. "She was trying so hard to fit in and do the right thing and she would just let him control her. She kept compromising for him because she thought that's what she was supposed to do and also because despite it all I think she really loved him! And it made her so stupid!" Ty shouted.

"I just don't want to become trapped like that," he confessed.

Kit was silent for a moment, just staring at him with a puzzled expression. "Ok, but Ty you realize that I'm not your dad right? Like I would never try and control you or make you into something you're not. I'm not trying to own you, I'm trying to love you!" He argued. "Ty, marriage isnt supposed to trap you. It's about making our relationship into an Offical legal thing that everyone's forced to acknowledge and accept."

Kit took Ty's hand in his. "It's about making each other family."

Ty looked away. He couldn't meet Kit's eyes when he was staring at him looking so hopeful and desperate. It did strange things to Ty's insides. He squeezed his eyes shut, scrunching up his face along with his fists for a moment before letting go.

"I just don't want to let someone have power over me in that way," he explained. Kit sighed, then smiled softly before leaning forward to rest his forehead against Ty's. Ty let out a little moan as he let the tension release from his body with a sigh. Kit placed his hand over Ty's heart.

"But don't you get it Ty?" He asked softly. "You already have, whether you meant to or not. I'm in your system sweetheart, in your blood just like you're in mine." Ty felt him smile. "Like we were made for each other. Like we've spent our entire lives waiting for each other."

Ty pulled away from him. "No I don't believe that," he stated firmly. "I don't believe in fate or destiny or soulmates. I think it's an overt  romanticization of life and the human condition which can have disastrous consequences. It leads people to believe that they are somehow incomplete without a romantic partner which is incredibly problematic." Ty realized he was probably going on a bit of a tangent as he was known to do. But he couldn't be bothered to care.

Kit pouted a little. "Yeah I get that. But I don't know. I like to romanticize things in life. After everything that I've been through, I guess it just makes things feel better you know?" Kit glanced at him hopefully."I don't care if you don't believe in any of those things. I do. And despite what you might believe, you aren't always right about everything," Kit said pointedly.

Ty scowled at him. Kit was undeterred. "And I get that you're coming at this from a scary trauma place. I understand that. I have those too. But you don't have to be afraid of me," he pleaded.

Ty couldn't resist reaching out and touching him, pushing a curly lock of hair behind his ear. "Can I maybe think about it?" Kit smiled and snuggled up against Ty's chest again. "Of course," he murmered. Ty leaned back and resumed his earlier position, staring up at the sky.

He nuzzled his face against Kit's hair. "I'm glad you're not mad at me anymore," said Ty.

Kit snorted, turning to face Ty. "I'm never mad at you love. It's pretty much impossible." Ty grinned and leaned forward to kiss him slowly, savoring the feeling of Kit's lips against his.

Kit broke off and kissed Ty's cheek, then his orbital bone. Ty giggled and closed his eyes which prompted Kit to place a kiss on each of his eyelids.

"I love every inch of you," Kit whispered. Ty couldn't speak. He was too overwhelmed. He just wrapped his arms around Kit even tighter and pressed a kiss to his forehead.

They lay in peaceful silence for several moments before Kit spoke.

"Tell me a story."

In case you missed it, the story Eleanor was telling Ty is the story of kitty in Lady Midnight basically. Also. Not me projecting my fear of marriage onto my comfort character! 😂

Tag list: (lmk if you wanna be added/removed) @playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @knifescythe @ti-bae-rius @dianasarrow @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies @zfoxdraws @julieandthefandoms @older-brother-kit @ilikebooks8 @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @heloisacosta23 @adoravel-fenomeno @eutonyinwhisper

[hollandsmushroom]

DON'T YOU SEE

JJ x Plus size reader

No fuxking clue how many words this is but here you go, my first fic in ages! I hope y'all enjoy.

Fluffy soft JJ is the whole plot really.

You laid on the HMS Pogue, an oversized shirt covering your body as everyone else swam around the boat. Your hands were pressed into the soft flesh of your abdomen, you felt the bit where your stomach stuck out where your bikini pressed too much into your chub. Your friends looked to be having an amazing time, and you wishes so much to join them, but there was a deepest fear of rejection and mockery for your body. The rest of the pogues had already seen you in a swim suit before but today felt different, when you woke up and looked in the mirror, it felt wrong, you felt bigger, misshapen, unattractive, simply, you felt wrong. JJ watched you from the water, his eyes scanning your still figure, admiring how your shirt feel across your breasts, tucking into your back roll, slipping down off your belly and ending at your thick thighs. God, your thighs, part of him wanted to bite the soft flesh of your inner thighs as you wrapped your legs around this head. He shook his head, trying to get the thought out of his head because he could feel himself growing hard.

"Y/n, you joining us?" JJ called, trying to distract from his smutty thoughts.

"Nah, not today, sorry JJ," you replied, rolling your head to the side to look at him as you spoke.

"Aw, come on, the waters great and it's so hot out you have to swim," Kie shouted as she splashed at John B and Pope who wrote annoying her.

"Y/n, if you dont come in I'm pulling you in," JJ spoke, swimming closer to the boat, "I'm serious"

You looked down at him, seeing the threat behind his eyes, you stood up, it was slightly painfull seeing as your sweaty thighs had stuck to the fiberglass of the boat. You sucked in a deep breath, tugging the shirt over your head, leaving you in just your high waisted bikini. JJs eyes widened, he let out a low whistle, mumbling 'damn'. Had it been most other days you wouldnt have caught the adoration in his voice but you would have taken his explitive as a compliment, but you weren't like you were most other days. Taking his words as mockery, tears pricked your eyes, you dove over him, entering the water just behind him and diving deeper and swimming underneath his legs and under the boat, gasping for breath when you came up on the other side. You laid in your back, ears under water as you caught your breath, what you couldn't hear was the group freaking out, especially JJ.

"Y/n should have come up by now" he spoke, spinning himself around in the water.

"Yeah, they should have," John B agreed looking down into the murky depths past his feet but seeing nothing.

"Y/N!" JJ called before diving down, looking to see if you had hit a rock or something but unable to find any sign of you.

You lifted your head out of the water, hearing your friends call out for you, and it clicked, something you hadn't realized in your fog of self loathing that you had dove into the water and then disappeared. They must be freaking out, you thought as you gripped the edge of the boat, kicking you legs as you hoisted yourself in, grabbing your shirt immediately to cover your body.

"Hey guys," you hollered, catching there attention as they all searched for you.

"Y/N, what the actual fuck, we thought you drowned" Pope yelled

"You scared the shit out of me," John B chimed in

"If you ever do some shit like that again you're dead to me, I was so worried" Kie added finally

JJ, as opposed to everyone else didnt say anything, just climbed into the boat and enveloped you in a hug. You flinched at the contact, not wanting anyone to feel how big you were.

"I thought you died," he whispered in your ear, and something in his voice broke when he spoke.

"Well I'm alive," you spoke, coldly, remembering what he said. He pulled back from the embrace, trying to look you in the eye, sensing that something was off.

"Yo, you good" he asked gently, still trying to catch your eye.

"Yeah, I'm fine, I just remembered that my mom needed me home for something" it was a total lie, the only thing that your mom needed you to do was to stay the fuck out of her way.

"Oh, okay, guys we got to get Y/n home, they have something to do," JJ shouted to the rest of the group, even though he didnt really believe it.

The group was quick to return to shore, all piling into the twinkie to get you home. John B., Pope, and Kie all spent the way to your house chatting, but you stayed quiet, your hands fiddling in your lap, JJ was quiet too, watching you with concern and curiosity in his eyes, what was up with you? You never would have done the disappearing act earlier on any other day, you knew it would cause too much concern, he was also worried about your silence, you were often such a talkative and fun person.

"Sorry for cutting the fun short guys," you broke your silence as you stepped out of the van.

"Nah, it's fine, you didnt, cause ya know, the fun never ends," John B. smiled at you

"Plus, there is always time tonight, we could meet back up at the Chateau," Pope chimed in.

"Yeah, maybe," you smiled softly, thinking about how you didnt want to see anyone else today, just lay in bed. As you climbed the steps to your house someone caught your wrist making you turn around, your eyes meeting JJs. As soon as you saw him, you felt your heart melt a little, how gently his hand was on yours, but then you remembered what he said earlier. You pulled your wrist from his grasp, looking him dead in the eye.

"Yes, JJ?" You asked, a slight bitterness in your tone, causing him to step back.

"I-I just wanted to say goodbye," he said, scratching the back of his neck anxiously.

"Oh, bye" you said, opening the door and closing it quickly behind you, your back hitting the wood.

JJ stood there for a second, staring at the paint peeling off the door, feeling wounded at your coldness.

"Hey JJ, you comin?" Kie yelled at him from the Twinkie, snapping him out of it.

"Yeah, yeah," he mumbled, jogging back down the steps.

You stayed in your room for hours, your phone buzzing on the night stand as you hid under the covers. The sun had set on the water, the sky still shining a faded orange and purple. You hadn't moved since you got home, just laid in bed and let your mind stop, the existence of your body disappearing beneath the covers.

Your cheeks were damp with tears, wiping them away as they feel was too much work. There was a light knock on your window, making you shoot up straight in bed, looking at the window pain, behind sat a very concerned looking JJ.

You got out of bed, lifting up the window and stepping aside so JJ could climb in, this was something he had done before, crash at your house if he was tired of John B. but didnt want to go home.

"Hey Y/n," he spoke softly, a rarity for JJ

"JJ, what are you doing here?" you hissed, still not wanting to be around anyone

"Well, you weren't answering your phone and you were acting really weird earlier so I, I got worried"

"Yeah, like you care" you snapped, still over reacting at his words earlier

"What the fuck is your deal," he bit back "I'm trying to be nice, to be a good friend, and maybe make you realize that I fucking like you but you keep shooting me down,"

"What?" you muttered

"Nevermind, I shouldn't be here," he said, making a move for the window.

"No, you cant like me," that caught his attention, he turned around, your face was confused, your brain clearly trying to put things together, "how could you like me when I look like this, I mean, you even mocked me this morning,"

"Wait, what? Mocking you? When, what? And why the fuck cant I like you, is there some rule somewhere written in fucking stone,"

"Yeah, you made a mocking cat call when I took off my shirt to swim,"

"You thought I was mocking you?" His brow furrowed "I wasnt mocking you, that was genuine, I was trying to get you to realize that I have a thing for you!"

"JJ why?"

"Why? Why what? Why do I like you? Are you serious? Have you seen yourself!"

"Yes, yes I fucking have and that's exactly why you cant like me," you yelled, a tear escaping your eye.

"What are you even saying, Y/n?"

"This" you gestured to your body "This is why you cant like me, I'm fat JJ, I jiggle and my thighs rub, I have back rolls, I-" JJ cut you off, grabbing your face in his hands, thumbing your cheeks softly as he pressed his lips to yours hastily. You melted into him, giving yourself to the kiss, as if something in you surrendered to his affection.

You both pulled away, gasping for breath, forehead leaning on each other.

"Y/n, I like you, and that's always been something I've had a hard time saying, but I do, I like how you stomach sticks out, and how thick your thighs are, sometimes I imagine myself between them," you pulled back, looking him dead in the eye and biting your lip. "Moving on, I like how your boobs aren't a handful, they are like 5 handfuls, and how soft your back rolls are, I like you, I like your body, so get that through your dumb head," he joked, tapping your skull causing you to giggle. He pushed you down onto the bed, him landing softly on top of you. "Now that's out of the way, will you please just be mine, Y/n?"

"Yeah, JJ, I'll be yours, happily," his face broke into a smile as he ran his hands up and down your sides, leaning down and mashing his lips with yours.

[arcturusreads]

Hi are you still accepting prompts? if you do here’s one: Hayes doing something special for Meredith’s birthday.. No pressure though take your time writing you are such a great writer💕

Celebrate - Merhayes

Thank you so much, that means the world! Hope you enjoy x

Meredith Grey had never been one to celebrate her birthday. Ellis had never bothered with birthday parties for her little girl, the day was never made a fuss out of. By the time Meredith had moved out and one to college, she didn’t see the point in celebrating it. It was only after meeting Derek that her own birthday began to have special memories attached to it. He’d pestered her for months about when her birthday was and was mortified when she at last told him and had found out that he was two months late. The date was now permanently etched into his brain and he made sure that regardless of how lowkey the celebration might be, Meredith would always celebrate another turn around the Sun. Ferry boats, dinners and long drives had become the tradition and Meredith found herself looking forward to it.

Since her husband’s passing though, Meredith had stopped bothering again. Whilst she made sure she went all out for her kids, she would stop her sisters and friends from doing anything that resembled celebration for her. Maggie had put her foot down and yelled when Meredith tried not to accept the present that’d been gifted to her though. Her kids would bake her a cake with the help of their aunt’s, with homemade cards and presents and Meredith thought it was perfect. That was all she needed for her birthday. That and a good surgery.

After six months of dating Meredith and having celebratedhis own birthday with her, Cormac was beginning to get curious as to when Meredith’s was. When he had asked her once before she just laughed it off, saying that he would have to find out himself. So, he’d een on a hunt to figure it out. It seemed that Meredith had briefed the entire hospital staff on not letting him know her birthday.

Hie’d asked both Amelia and Maggie multiple times but neither of them would let up. Amelia seemed to enjoy watching Cormac’s torture over not knowing the date whlst Maggie seemed pained that she couldn’t say anything, reminding Cormac every time he asked that she was not willing to face her sister’s wrath .

Cormac and Maggie were stoof across each other in the OR when he tried one more time. “You know, I wouldn’t let her find out that you told me…”

Maggie knew exactly what he was on about without having to ask. She just shook her head as she continued to work. “I’m the first person Meredith would come to if she found out that you knew. She knows that I’m terrible at keeping secrets. Remember when you two told me you were dating.”

It had be pure tiorture for Maggie not to say anything to anyone else. She was fit to burst with happiness for her sister but she hadn’t been allowed to say a word for three months. She’d spent way too much time ranting to Ameliia about why she wasn’t able to understand the reason that Cormac and Meredith wasnted to keep their relationship a secret. When the couple had finally told everyone, Maggie had felt a weight lift off of her shoulders and Meredith wsa pleasantly surprised at how well her sister was actually able to keep a secret.

“Why are you so desperate to know about her birthday, anyway?”

Cormac gave her a flat look, “She’s my girlfriend, Pierce. I feel like it’s something that I should know.”

“It’s not like you’re going to be able to do anything with the information. You know that she doesn’t like to celebrate.”

Cormac gave her a knowing look, “That’s because you’ve always given her an option.”

After a touch-and-go surgery, Cormac headed up to his office to grab some files before a consult. As he stepped into room, he felt shoe slid against something on the floor. Not the usual grip the carpet would give him. Looking down, he saw a small sheet of paper. As he picked it up to take it to the bin he saw some writing on it.

‘September 19th but I didn’t tell you -M’

Cormac smiled, he owed Maggie big time. Making a mental note of the date, Cormac knew it wasn’t one that he would forget anytime soon, he scrunched up the paper and tossed it into the bin. Plans began to form in his mind as he went about his day. He had two weeks and that was more than enough.

***

When September 19th rolled around, Meredith was treated to breakfast in bed courtesy of her kids with a side of birthday cake. Meredith arched a brow at the cake and looked at Amelia who just shrugged.

“It’s your birthday, you can have cake at 7am!” She defended quickly as the kids crawled up on the bed next to Meredith.

After opening her cards and presents and sending the kids off to school, Mer headed straight to the hospital. She had a whipple at 9 AM that she was looking forward and a fully booked day of surgeries after that. There was nothing more that she could have wanted for the day.

The entire day had gone by and Meredith thought it was strange that she hadn’t even caught a glimpse of her boyfriend. Even on their most busy days, they would end up finding time to at least have a coffee together but he hadn’t even messaged her. A younger Meredith would have worried that something had gone wrong, that he was angry with her for some unknown reason but these days, she was able to be a little more rational, if not completely. He must just be busy with consults and surgeries, or maybe the boys had something on that had slipped her mind when he mentioned it. Whilst Cormac didn’t know it was her birthday and she wasn’t planning on celebrating, it would have been nice to see him for a minute.

After getting changed back into her street clothes and grabbing her bag, Meredith made her way out of the hospital, ready to get home. She was a few steps away from her car when she felt a arm slip around her waist and a kiss pressed onto her temple.

“Sorry I haven’t had a chance to see you today,” Cormac’s Irish lilt immediately ebbed away any tiredness she had been feeling as she leaned into his side. “Forgot I had a meeting with Bailey this morning and then had back-to-back surgeries.”

Meredith took a second to breath in familiar scent of her boyfriend. It never failed to make her feel safe. “Was everything okay?”

“Mostly, got a 10-year-old boy in the ICU right now but Schmitt will page me if anything happens.”

Meredith suddenly realised that during the course of the conversation, Cormac had veered them away from her car. “Uh, my car is back there.”

Cormac have a light squeeze to her waist, “I know but I haven’t had a chance to see you today so let me take you home.”

“My car though…” She trailed off, not really bothering to put up a fight. Meredith had missed him wasn’t going to say no to being able to spend a little time with him on the drive home.

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow and you can take it home after your shift.”

“As long as you don’t mind…”

Cormac rolled his eyes at her, smiling, “I wouldn’t offer if I did, come on.”

As Cormac drove away from the hospital, Meredith leaned her head back against the headrest and closed her eyes for a minute. She slowly opened them as she felt Cormac’s hand rest on her thigh and gave him a smile.

“Wait, where are we going?” Meredith looked out the window to realise that this wasn’t the usual route home.

Cormac grinned at her quickly before looking back at the road, “Just thought we would take a detour.”

“A detour where?” She asked, slightly sceptical.

When Cormac didn’t reply, she decided to continue pressing for answers. “You know I have kids at home? Alone, right now?”

“Well, I know that’s a lie because I saw Winston before he left two hours ago who said he was going to your house to keep an eye on the kids.”

“Hmm…” Meredith both admired and hated how Cormac had an answer for everything. It was infuriating at the best of times but he was one of the only people she knew that could match her toe-for-toe.

After a while, Meredith saw that they were out of the city limits. “You know, if you don’t want to be with you just have to say, no need to drive me into the middle of nowhere to kill me and dump the body.”

“Oh ha ha,” Cormac laughed drily, “Like you would ever make it easy for me to kill you anyway….”

Meredith smirked at him, a wicked glint in her eye, “As long as you know.”

The car had now left the main road, and trundled along a dirt road, the only source of light coming from the headlights of the car. Meredith had no clue where they were or what was going on.

“Seriously, Cormac, where are we going?”

“Seriously, Meredith,” he jokingly mocked, “Can you be quiet?”

“Fine,” she muttered, crossing her arms over her chest.

It wasn’t later when Cormac turned the car engine off and turned to Meredith. “Come on,” he jumped out of the car and jogged over to her side to open the door.

Taking his hand to step out, she looked around. “Whe-“

“Don’t even finish that sentence,” He grinned at her, stopping Meredith before she had the chance to say anything else. “Just trust me.”

Meredith let Cormac take her hand and guide her. She wasn’t entirely sure how he could even tell where he was going in the dark.

“Are you taking me up a hill?”

Her question found no answer and all that there was left for her to do was to huff out a breath and follow Cormac. Eventually she saw some light up at the top of the hill and squinted, trying to make out what was going on. When they were finally close enough to make out what was going on, Meredith stopped in her track to take everything in. Trees were sparsely dotted around with fairy lights hanging from all of them. In the middle was a black pickup truck. The bed of it was covered with pillows and blankets with a picnic basket nested in the middle. Stretched between two trees was a canvas sheet, projected on it were the opening credits for ‘Maid in Manhattan’, one of the few movies that Meredith was able to time and time again.

“What is all this?” She turned to look at Cormac who had a sheepish look on his face.

“Happy birthday, Meredith,” his voice was a gentle whisper.

“You did this for my birthday?”

“Look, I know you don’t like celebrating it and I know you really didn’t want me to know but,” Cormac rubbed the top of his head, “You’ve survived so much, Meredith Grey, and that deserves to be celebrated. I deserve to have the chance to celebrate you. So, you can’t yell at me about this.”

Meredith stepped towards him, wrapping her arms around her neck, “How can I argue with that?” She grinned at him before pulling him in for a kiss.