#no but when i say the college team should debut as an idol group and obliterate everyone on inkigayo and such......

[just-a-simple-dyke]

So sorry to my tvxq moots for putting mirotic on the dash but HELLOOOOO

[lgihtspeed]

TRANSMISSION ⌗OO1 : PROLOGUE.

IN WHICH Lightspeed has to succeed. FEATURING Lightspeed ensemble, Choi Hayoung, Logan Miura WORD COUNT 6.7k NOTES Takes place from the end of their survival show to the day before their debut. I was supposed to finish it before their debut but whatever.

When he stands on IGNITE!’s final podium, surrounded by the people who will be his future group members, TYLER knows they have to succeed. They have no choice but to succeed. He knows C Entertainment’s track record. They—Lightspeed—are set not only to be the company’s third artist, but their third round of survival show survivors. Obviously, it’s a pattern. C Entertainment’s other pattern is dropping artists and actors who aren’t successful. It’s evident in the quick turnover of their talent: actors and actresses who are pushed as the next big thing through one or two dramas before they disappear off the face of the planet, and in their failed management of TFTS, a duo of former Girls Planet 999 contestants, who released the greatest single of 2023 only to disband in five months.

He pulls himself out of his thoughts and grips Ash’s hand tighter, because who would have thought that the two of them would make it this far, together? They’re no Haobin, he knows, but meeting one of his college acquaintances on a kpop survival show was something Tyler never would have put on a bingo card, ever. If he was told six months ago that he and Ash would go as far as to choose each other at every single opportunity, and then win the whole show, he would have laughed and bet against himself. Six months ago, they were nothing more than acquaintances. Tyler would have dapped him up and moved on with his life.

“How much longer do you think we have to stand here?” Ash asks through gritted, smiling teeth.

Tyler gives him an almost imperceptible shrug. He hasn't seen a cue from the production team in a few minutes. He wonders if it's possible they've forgotten.

He watches Mia, the winner of the girls’ half of the show, jump lightly down from the podium, tuck her hair behind her ear, and bend down at the edge of the stage to high-five the closest viewers.

As IGNITE!’s other first place winner, Tyler wonders if he should follow her. He stays rooted in place. Maybe they can spin that somehow: Mia is the personable idol you can meet and Tyler is the cold, aloof, senior you're too scared to talk to.

His mind wanders. Other than Ash, he doesn't know too much about his fellow winners. The third guy is Ev. Tyler doesn't know much about him except for the fact that he's British. He has the type of soft accent that rounds his words just the right amount to be extremely attractive to teenage girls on Twitter. Tyler knows this because he's seen the tweets. The two of them have performed together only once. EV didn't make too much of an impression. A decent enough singer, and not much else. Certainly not a stand-out performer the way Tyler is. Or the way Ash is. They auditioned for the same position—dance, and then played up their pseudo-rivalry as classmates and now competitors.

The lights return to full brightness. Tyler starts slightly, squinting against the sudden light. Mia jumps nimbly back on the stage, waving at the audience again and eliciting another round of cheers. Tyler isn’t built like that. He’d rather die.

Ash knocks his shoulder against Tyler’s. “Earth to Tyler. Dude, you’re out of it.”

Tyler jostles him back. “Is that so weird? Center is a big responsibility.”

Ash windmills his arms playfully, acting like he's going to trip and fall. “Don't act like you're surprised.”

He has a point there. Tyler isn’t surprised. From the show’s very beginning, he’s always ranked highly. It might be presumptuous to say, but he’s always known he was going to win. It was only a matter of his specific rank. First place is, of course, extremely gratifying. It’s a testament to how far he’s come from the American Midwest.

One of the production assistants signals their turn to head off stage. The six losers of the finale are already gone, spirited backstage at some point when Tyler wasn’t looking. They head off in pairs in reverse rank order, leaving Tyler and Mia as the last two standing.

“Congratulations,” she whispers to him, and then links her arm in his as they walk out into the wings. The cheer that erupts behind them is the loudest one he’s heard all night.

“Same to you,” he says, stomach turning somersaults. He blames it on the adrenaline and not the scent of strawberry shampoo emanating faintly from Mia’s pink hair.

In the dressing room backstage, Ash is already dressed in his usual sweatshirt and sweatpants combo. He throws Tyler’s normal clothes at him. “Get dressed. We’re going out. Ev’s in the bathroom and I can close my eyes.”

“We?” Tyler asks, picking apart his uniform’s red and white tie. He doesn’t understand the fascination with the school uniforms. Something about his appearance made the stylists force him into a tie every single time. Ash got the delinquent treatment: rumpled blazer, top two shirt buttons open, deliberately messy hair. Tyler spent the past four months envying him.

Ash twirls his pointer finger through the air. “All of us. The winners.” 

That sounds like a recipe for disaster, or maybe their very first scandal. Fuck it. Tyler doesn’t care. He’s caused enough of a scandal on his own, being himself. What’s one more? Their new agency has the money to make any sort of problems evaporate the instant they appear. The proof is in Sejun’s still-flourishing career. He’ll never forgive them for their treatment of TFTS.

“Where are we going?” he asks, pulling his t-shirt on. There’s a very large, very obvious circular wrinkle in the middle where Ash balled it up. Tyler tries to smooth it out.

“Wherever the night takes us,” Ash says cheesily. 

Tyler nearly cracks a smile at his delivery. He can’t encourage Ash that much, so he busies himself with lacing up his Converse instead. Lightspeed will succeed, and Tyler’s going to have fun while it happens.

The first thing CONSTANCE does is call home. IGNITE!’s live finale lasted longer than any of them or the production team had anticipated, and by the time she’s reunited with her phone, it’s almost one in the morning. She manages to finally pick up one of her mother’s calls. She puts her family on speaker and scrolls through her notifications.

“Con! You won! We always knew you could do it!” Her mother’s voice crackles through the speakers, enthusiasm infectious.

Constance grins, despite knowing they can’t see her. The rush from IGNITE!’s finale—from winning IGNITE!’s finale—returns, leaving her giddy. “It was so much fun.” She flops down on her bed, hair still stiff with all the hairspray and mousse and creams the stylists used to coax it into shape. She runs a hand through it and it comes out sticky. She wipes her hand on her shirt.

From a little farther away over the phone, she hears her mom say, “Ken! Hurry up and congratulate your sister.”

“I already texted her,” Ken complains from just as far away.

In between typing out thank you messages and crying emojis to her friends, she sees her brother’s text. It’s a screenshot of an ending screen from one of the Super Smash Bros games, Jigglypuff on the beach with the word “Congratulations!” spelled out—exclamation point and everything—underneath.

“That doesn’t count,” she complains back. “It’s not even your screenshot. You found that online.”

Ken comes so close to the phone speaker she can hear him breathe. “Congrats or whatever. When are you gonna pay me back for covering all of Dad’s birthday dinner?”

“That was last year!”

“You still owe me seventy dollars. Plus interest.”

“Remind me to never again borrow money from the Kenneth Im Bank.”

“Don’t want to.” Her brother’s immaturity is sometimes so shocking that Constance forgets he’s three years older than her. 

Her dad is up next, from presumably all the way across their house. “Good job,” he says, or at least that's what Constance thinks he’s saying.

“Dad, you have to be closer to the phone,” she says patiently, raising her phone’s volume.

“He says good job,” Ken yells, and Constance winces, lowering her volume again. “He also says you should pay me back because you’ll make more money than me.”

It’s a good thing her roommate, Mia, isn’t here. Constance doubts this conversation could be any quieter. “I don’t know if that’s true.” Ken is a data scientist. She remembers when he got his first job offer, straight out of grad school, bragging about base pay and a signing bonus and stocks and unlimited PTO.

“He didn’t say that,” her mother says. “We’re all so proud of you.”

Constance can hear the smile in her voice. Ken sends her another text and almost ruins her night—a rather unflattering, extremely low quality picture of her, clearly a screenshot taken from IGNITE!’s recently concluded finale. She types back a quick wtf before going back to the spoken conversation.

“I wish you were here.” The production company had only been willing to cover the travel costs and tickets for two guests per contestant, and given that there were three members of her immediate family, none of them wanted to be the one left behind. Constance had invited two long-time friends instead, both of whom are probably enjoying the five-star hotel they’re staying in. Privately, she thinks that if the production team had opted for a slightly cheaper hotel, they could have footed another plane ticket instead. Beyond that, Constance hadn’t thought she would win. She’d placed in the top three only once before, and after the announcement that the winning group would be coed, she didn’t think she could do that again. Somehow, she did it anyway.

“Don’t worry about us.” Her mother’s voice is still bright. “We hosted our own watch party.”

“Mom invited Rosenbaum,” Ken interrupts.

“My homeroom teacher? Mom, that’s weird,” Constance complains, even though she knows perfectly well that her mom and her senior year homeroom teacher are coworkers and good friends. It’s still weird. In high school, she spent more time in the robotics lab than in class, and she never stepped foot in the choir room. 

“She’s proud of you too,” her mom says, completely glossing over Constance’s response. 

Her throat tightens. She’s done a good job, she thinks, of not crying so far. She’s glad no one is in the room with her now. It’s not like idols don’t cry, but idols don’t cry as messily as Constance does. She’s extremely thankful Mia chose to go out with the rest of the group, and no one tried too hard to convince her to go along. Parties and clubs and bars were never Constance’s scene, and though it’s unlikely they’ll be punished for sneaking out after their win, she doesn’t want to risk it.

“Bran was there too,” Ken says, shaking Constance back to life. Her tears dry up immediately, replaced with the hammering of her heart and her sweating palms. She dries her hand on her shirt.

“Oh. Okay,” she says, trying to get her heart to stop racing and her palms to stop sweating. She’s pretty sure Ken doesn’t definitively know she had a crush on his best friend when they were younger. But then again, twelve-year-old Constance wasn’t exactly discrete. Twenty-three year old Constance should not have this reaction at the mere mention of her crush from half her lifetime ago. Now she has to live with the mortifying realization that Ken definitely showed him that unflattering picture of her.

She yawns, the adrenaline of the night finally wearing off. Somehow, that’s audible over the phone speakers.

“What time is it?” Her mother sounds alarmed. “Do you need to go to sleep? Have you been eating enough? What did you have for dinner?”

Constance dismisses her concerns. “I’m fine, Mom. I’ll call you back in the morning. Good night.” If she isn’t decisive, they’ll talk forever.

Her mother sounds slightly disappointed as she says, “Good night. I love you, Con.”

Her throat constricts again, and she barely manages to croak out, “Love you too, Mom” before she ends the call.

There are so many people supporting her—her family, her friends, everyone she knew back home. She can’t let them down. Lightspeed has to succeed. Constance doesn’t know what she’ll do otherwise.

MIA sits cross-legged on the floor of her brand new, half-furnished, extremely temporary, C Entertainment-subsidized studio apartment. She's already lived through IGNITE!’s finale once, but it's been ingrained in her to carefully pore over and analyze each of her public appearances. It’s why she’s seen every episode of Excellence (2017-2019), where she played a friend of main character Danielle “Elle” Walker, at least once. It’s also why she’s seen every episode of its spinoff, Lin & Kris (2019-2020), where she had her biggest starring role to date, multiple times over. Watching it all, over and over and over again, sometimes makes her feel less like Mia Kim and more like her fictional character, Linda Lee—a know-it-all, goody two-shoes overly concerned with grades and the rules.

IGNITE!, at least, let Mia be herself. The hard part is that after spending so many years acting, both for her job and to please her mother, she doesn’t quite know what parts are her, as her own individual person.

She reaches for the TV remote and presses play. The show was easily broadcast and archived on YouTube, which gives her no excuse to not watch it. During IGNITE!, the contestants had come together to watch and react to it. Mia had pointed out her own shortcomings with a speed and alacrity that she realized early on was not normal. After that, she kept it to herself instead, repeating over and over again in her head what she should have done better. She should have smiled more. She should haven’t said that offhand comment. She shouldn’t have laughed so much at that performance. She should have had a bigger reaction.

Now she sits on the hardwood floor with a notebook, the sixth of its kind, while the episode plays on the TV. She could skip through it, looking specifically for her parts. It’s over an hour long, and it’ll take her much longer than an hour to watch it. But she wants to see the people who she’s going to be in a group with. To be honest, Mia doesn’t know anyone else that well. She was in it to win it, not to make friends. She formed a few superficial relationships, the ones she knew would work well on TV. For that reason, she sort of knows Constance—smart, unassuming, funny when she wants to be, in a league of her own when it comes to singing. They’ve been roommates since the show’s halfway point, but Mia was always too conscious of all the cameras to speak more than she had to. That alone, she knew, could have made her look cold and unconcerned, too focused on the destination to enjoy the journey. So she made up for that in her actions—always slinging an arm around Constance’s shoulders, holding the other girl’s hand, picking her first for the final sports event currently playing on the TV.

Mia remembers doing her best to pick her team members in an even way—a balance between other people who were ranked highly, and then a few lower ranks. She can’t pick only from the top six. She’d be called a bitch and accused of favoritism. And yet somehow her team consisted of four Lightspeed members: herself, Constance, Ash, and Ev. She draws her knees up into her chest and suppresses the urge to scroll down into the comment section.

She watches herself explain her choices: Constance for her logical strategies, Ash for his infectious enthusiasm, Ev for his quick thinking. This was one of the first events they had all done together, Mia remembers. She hadn’t known the guys too well, but she knew she couldn’t pick a team of four girls either. She makes a note to find out what else Ev is good at, now that they’re going to be group members. Her performance has been fine so far. Maybe it’s because she’s spent the past four months in Korea with little access to her cell phone, and so her mom has no way of contacting her to provide her own feedback.

On screen, the sports progress. Mia's team did well, winning two of the five events and being crowned the overall winners. She watches her team accept the prize, a trial skincare kit from one of the show's sponsors. Her remarks are more pointless and shallow than they usually are, so she writes that down—Depth of winning comments. Need to show more sincerity. The four of them worked well together. She's optimistic for Lightspeed.

The episode drags on. It hadn't seemed that long during filming. The two songs for the finale are revealed again, like the producers forgot they showed them in the previous episode. Mia leans forward to watch herself pick first. She's standing in the middle of the room, two diverging paths labeled with the song title, microphone clutched in both hands.

The Mia sitting on the hardwood floor scratches another bullet point into the journal. Appear less desperate. No need to clutch anything.

Then the episode cuts to Tyler before she picks a song. She relaxes fractionally. It makes sense. The producers would want to draw out the suspense of her choice. 

There usually isn't much to pay attention to when she isn't on screen. This time is a little different. She watches Constance stress about which of the two songs she should choose and Ash pretend to walk one way before he turns around and picks the other song. 

She smiles and almost laughs when she hears him say, “It's like that meme, you know. The illusion of free choice. I'm the cow heading for the slaughterhouse.” There's a slight pause, and then he adds, “I hope I won't end up slaughtered.”

Lightspeed will have to succeed, she decides. Mia wants to spend as long as possible here, making her own choices and living her own life. At some point she'll have to retreat back into her mother's tutelage. Until then, she plans to savor every moment of her freedom.

She pauses the video. She's not quite halfway through and she's taken only a few notes. Fewer than any of the other episodes. Cautiously, she clicks her pen and closes the notebook. What's the harm in stopping here? Her mom won't have to know. Mia will report her honest thoughts so far, and then fudge a couple of lines. She's never done that before, and the mere thought of it is quietly thrilling. After her debut, she expects to be so busy she won't have time for this. It's a strange ritual anyway, now that she's seen her peers’ reactions to it.

Mia picks up her phone and sends a message to the other Lightspeed members—anyone up for dinner? i’ll pay.

Ev’s thumbs up emoji response is instantaneous—just the person she wanted to talk to. She leaves her notebook on the floor. It'll always be there. She might not be able to rid herself of her mother’s influence completely, but if she’s going to take advantage of her freedom, she has to start somewhere.

The day Lightspeed learns of their debut date, VIOLET buys a 2024 and 2025 wall calendar. She stands in the kitchen and shreds them to pieces, ripping the decorative pictures off each one until all that's left are the days themselves. Ev wanders into the kitchen in the midst of her work. They make silent eye contact. She watches him steal one of Mia’s Babybel cheeses out of the fridge.

“What’s this?” Ev asks, nodding at her work. He peels the plastic off the cheese with much more care than Violet and her calendar.

“Nothing,” Violet says. She doesn’t want to talk to him about it. She knows Ev is nice, and that he means well, but she also knows he’s going to try and talk her out of it. A year from now, Lightspeed will go their separate ways. She would do well to not forget that. The calendar is a physical reminder.

Ev wouldn’t understand that. Violet chalks it up to his age: too young to truly understand that nothing good can last forever.

“Have it your way,” he says with a shrug, dropping the wax wrapping into the trash.

The landscape pictures of Violet’s calendars follow soon after.

In the privacy of her bedroom, she tapes them to the wall in order, like some sort of interpretive wallpaper. She has to admit that it makes the room look a bit like a prison cell, and she’s counting down the days to her escape. Deep down, she thinks Lightspeed isn’t far off from that. IGNITE! was her last chance for a debut, and now Lightspeed will be her last group. Violet doesn’t see a future for herself as an idol after this. She was too old five years ago. She’s practically a dinosaur now. Her peers are fourteen years old. She feels ill just thinking about it.

A knock sounds at her door. Her first reaction is that someone wants her to turn her music down, though she's very conscious of thin walls. She turns it off before she answers the door.

Tyler stands there in the doorway, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. He could be anywhere else.

“Do you need something?” Violet asks, perhaps a little ruder than she should be.

“Your music is loud,” he says. Tyler is skittish around her, and Violet doesn't know why. She can't tell if he's the type of guy to be completely inept at talking to women. He seems fine whenever he interacts with Mia and Constance. Outside of his inflammatory Twitter account, she thinks he’s normal.

“My bad,” Violet responds, before quickly adding, “You can hear it?”

Tyler nods. “We share a wall.” He jerks his thumb over his right shoulder. “SES’s ‘Soul to Soul?’”

“Yeah,” she says, a little surprised. “I thought the song was older than you.”

He scoffs. “It isn’t. It’s a good song. You’re not that much older than me.”

She isn’t. That makes the two of them, then, kpop dinosaurs. Ash should probably be included in that, given that he’s between their ages.

Tyler peers past her into her room. She makes a move to stop him, but she’s seconds too late.

“What’s that?” he asks, pointing past her.

Violet knows exactly what he’s looking at: her newest wall decor. “Nothing,” she says, about something that is much more than nothing, leaning against the doorframe to keep him from seeing too much.

He drops his arm and stares over her other shoulder. “Are you, like, obsessed with schedules? Is it that important to you? There are people who will keep track of that for us.” His words are what she’d categorize as carefully neutral. She doesn’t doubt his ability to act—he survived IGNITE! after all.

“It’s nothing,” she repeats, and Tyler drops it, approaching with another topic instead.

“You were in Heart Lines, right?” he says with the confidence and casuality of someone who already knows the answer to their own question.

“I was.” That was eight years ago. It was her first group, and the one that lasted the longest, until Lightspeed. When the group was still around, she thought it might last forever. In hindsight, she was ridiculously naive.

“You had some good songs.”

“Is this a joke? Name one.” They didn’t have any good songs. They had ten songs total, and Violet was barely part of it. She had few lines and even less screen time in their two music videos. 

“‘Heart Beat,’” Tyler says, sounding surprised as he names her first debut song. “It was on my Spotify Wrapped in 2016.”

Violet stares at him. “You have horrible taste in music.”

“Wow. Okay. Are you going to say that about Lightspeed?”

She shrugs. “Probably not.” It’s a well-known fact that C Entertainment has a lot of money. Surely their music will be good. And even if it isn’t, she won’t have anything bad to say. Ever since her online kpop journalist career kind of took off, she’s concentrated on being more positive, trying to focus only on the good and the constructive. Sometimes it’s hard.

“If Ash gets his way, it could be worse,” Tyler says grimly. “He's trying to be the next online hyperpop sensation, and his favorite group is NCT.”

That doesn’t bother Violet too much. As long as they can stand out, without sounding like ninety percent of the other groups, she doesn’t care too much. Heart Lines was just another girl group from a small company with a cute, schoolgirl concept. Tyler might not know this, but Lightspeed has to succeed. It’s her last chance to be an idol, and Violet doesn’t want it to end the same way her previous groups ended—nothing more than the briefest flash in the pan. She’d rather go out like a star—the light visible for years and years into the future.

“That’s a problem?”

“Right. I’m the one with poor taste,” he deadpans. He seems to have warmed up to her.

“If you say so.” Violet has to get back to her wall. Out of the corner of her eye, she watches one corner of February 2025 slip down, then another.

“What was that?” Tyler asks, as if he can hear the very whisper of paper against the wall. Maybe he can. Maybe she's the problem, overreacting to everything he's trying to be a good neighbor about.

She takes a step back into the room, letting the door shut about halfway before she stops it. “I'm taking care of it. See you around.”

She lets the door shut in Tyler's face, again, probably ruder than she should be. He might think she's a bitch, but that doesn't bother her. She's here to succeed for herself. She rips another piece of masking tape and affixes February 2025 back to its place on her wall.

Being called in to talk to your boss on the first day of your new job is like being called into the principal's office as a kid, but ten times worse. Unfortunately, that's exactly what's happening to ASH. The office of C Entertainment COO Choi Hayoung reminds him of a doctor's office. Or maybe a dentist's office. It even smells like antiseptic. A few pun-filled posters reminding patients to floss and exercise wouldn't look out of place.

The couch he sits on is, at least, much more comfortable than it looks. Ash sinks into it, spread out over all three seats.

“Congratulations on your victory and your upcoming debut,” Hayoung says with an almost motherly smile. Her English has no accent he can discern. Two framed diplomas, sit on the wall behind her desk, not unlike a doctor’s office. She has a bachelor’s degree in political science from ASU of all places, and a master’s in international relations from Harvard. It surprises him, because Hayoung has much more of a West Coast California vibe. The Bay Area, specifically, if he was asked at gunpoint.

Ash decides this is better than the principal’s office.

“Thanks,” he answers, somehow sinking further into the couch. 

Hayoung checks the time, her watch quite literally glittering in the light. He suspects it costs just as much as his college education.

“I don't have long,” she starts, “but I wanted to let you know that you've been chosen to be Lightspeed’s leader.”

Ash straightens up the best he can. “Me?” he asks, pointing at himself and feeling like he's recreating a meme.

Hayoung nods. “You.”

He could name better candidates for leader—five of them, in fact. He’s his own last choice. “Why not Violet? Or Tyler?” Violet developed a reputation on IGNITE! for her past experience and the leadership skills she somehow gained from it. Tyler is, well, Tyler—brash, confident, charismatic. Ash, on the other hand, is quite literally the clown of the group. It’s what he signed up for, because he has nothing to contribute except a witty comment or a well-timed pun.

“We’re confident you’ll do well,” Hayoung says without answering his question. It’s nice that she believes in him, but Ash is still far from believing in himself. “It suits you. It will be your job to act as the bridge between your group members and the company’s management team.”

“What about the music?” Ash asks next.

Hayoung looks confused. “What about it? The six of you will be responsible for your lyrics. As for the production, that's none of your concern.”

He wants it to be his concern. “I have some ideas, and I've already written a few—”

“It's taken care of. You should concentrate on your responsibilities as the leader.” This time, she cuts him off and checks her watch again. “If you'll excuse me, I have another meeting in five minutes.”

Ash can read the room. He knows when he's being dismissed. He puts on his best smile—he practiced that a lot on IGNITE!—and says, “I won't let you down.”

This time, Hayoung’s expression is warm and genuine. “I'm glad we can depend on you.”

Leaving her office gives him a bit of an ego boost. He might not want to be the leader, but he knows he can do it. His first step as leader will be to discover exactly what's going on with their debut album.

Ash retraces his steps from their tour of the C Entertainment building a few days ago. It screams corporate rather than entertainment—long empty halls, solid wooden doors, the feeling that any sound over fifty decibels will result in your death. It seems bigger than it has to be. He'd bet money that the majority of the rooms are empty or unfinished.

The music production wing is the only one with life. Quite literally, because Ash remembers the wall made of grass. It has a few shelves cut out in it, soft light haloing the releases of C’s other artists for a total of three albums. He envisions Lightspeed's alongside them. Their future is bright.

Light leaks out from under the door with “LIGHTSPEED” typed on a piece of paper and taped to it. Ash knocks and then enters, fully prepared to bow ninety degrees to their production team of two girls his age. 

Only one of them is there—Haera, he thinks. She's slumped in an expensive ergonomic chair, cast in the blue hue of the four computer monitors spanning her desk. Posters of anime characters and Hatsune Miku decorate the wall behind her.

“Hello,” he says hesitantly, because he has the Korean vocabulary of a kpop stan combined with someone who watches exclusively violent gang movies.

She bolts to her feet, bowing a few times and saying something. Ash recognizes one word—sorry. The rest of the syllables wash over him, intimately familiar and completely incomprehensible. 

“Okay,” he says, gesturing for her to sit back down. He wishes Violet or their manager, Logan, was here with him to help translate. He's here for one thing, so he gets to the point. “Music. Lyrics. Write.” He mimes writing in the air.

An expression of understanding dawns on Haera’s face as she takes a seat again. “Ah. Now? Only you?” she asks in English. 

He hadn't planned on starting now, because he didn't plan farther than beating Hayoung to the punch. Ash nods anyway.

From somewhere on her desk, Haera produces a large stack of papers, a CD in a jewel case, and a flash drive.

“Four songs,” she says, holding up four fingers on one hand. She divides the stack of papers—now he sees that they're split into sections, held together with binder clips. She picks up the largest stack. “Title.”

He nods, assuming the other three are to be b-sides. 

Haera points out the CD and flash drive next, miming headphones. “Listen. Okay?” She gives him two thumbs ups.

Ash smiles and mimics her gesture. “Okay.” He takes the papers and the CD and the flash drive and secludes himself in the far corner of the room.

A few days ago, he thought it was much too extravagant to be provided with not only a recording studio but also whatever this is—a recreation room? An office? A computer lab? A mini concert hall? Now he appreciates that he can hide behind too many screens the same way Haera is. At home, he used lock himself in his closet, pad it with noise cancelling foam, balance his laptop on his knees while holding his microphone, and then record. This setup knocks that one out of the park. 

He starts to skim through the papers, finally feeling like he's back in his element. He still doesn't appreciate Hayoung assigning him to be the leader without even asking. Whatever. It's part of his responsibility now, as the leader, to help ensure Lightspeed’s success. 

The notes, which are in English, thankfully, are clear and easy to follow. Some of the pages are just pictures—NASA photographs and science fiction film screenshots and Pinterest mood boards. Whoever designed had a clear vision in mind, and Ash can't help but begin to think of some famous last words. It can't be that hard. Right?

EV spends his last day as a normal, non-celebrity in the most normal way he can think of. He supposes he might already be considered a celebrity after his appearance on IGNITE! Already, he can't go outside without an escort—for now, it’s Lightspeed’s manager, Logan. For the past few weeks, Ev has privately wondered how a Japanese American from the Phoenix suburbs becomes the manager of a not-quite-kpop group. He still doesn’t quite know where Phoenix is. Mia asked once and got an answer about Arizona and California and deserts. Ev’s sketchy knowledge of American geography places California on one coast and New York on the other. He figures there’s space for a desert somewhere in there.

As far as initial impressions go, he likes Logan. He might be almost a full decade older than Ev, but he’s kind and polite, if slightly aloof. Not to mention he's onboard with Ev’s current goal of visiting every coffee shop within a fifteen kilometer radius of Lightspeed's house. It turns out there are a lot of coffee shops, especially once he started counting the ones that are conjoined with other businesses, the ones that are pop-up kiosks in shopping centers, and the ones that are known for selling other foods, but still serve coffee.

He might have drawn his circle too large, but it's given him an excuse to visit another bookstore. It doesn't matter that Ev doesn't understand Korean—it’s more about the vibe. That, and Logan is fluent.

“What about this one?” Ev asks, picking up another slim paperback from the bestseller’s section. The top half of the cover is white, with a title that he could sound out if he was given long enough. The bottom half looks like a stock image of space, a crescent moon and a few stars set over a dark blue backdrop. He’s been eyeing the depths of the store for the past ten minutes, too afraid to take the plunge into somewhere completely unfamiliar. Out here, at least, he’s already recognized Han Kang’s Human Acts and Sohn Won-pyung’s Almond.

Logan takes a closer look. “Hwang Sok-yong’s Gaebapbaragibyeol. It's a poetic way to describe the planet Venus. I'm not sure about this one, but some of the author's other works have been translated into English.” 

That explains the cover. Ev nods politely and reshelves it.

He ends up walking out empty-handed, because he might as well be illiterate, but Logan buys a Korean edition of Anna Karenina.

“For all the late nights at Music Bank,” he says before Ev can even ask.

Five minutes later, after a short walk across the bookstore to their conjoined coffee shop, Ev is eleven thousand won broker. The oat milk substitution in his iced latte was nearly a third of the price of the drink itself. Sitting down near the window, he asks Logan the question that’s been on his mind the entire time they spent looking at books.

“How did you have answers to everything I asked in there?”

Logan’s response is short and factual. “I came to Korea to study literature, and you were in the bestsellers section. I got my PhD a couple of years ago.”

Ev almost spits his drink out before he realizes there might be some truth to the first part of that statement. Put him in Waterstones and he’d recognize all the bestsellers too. “You have a PhD? Should I be calling you Dr. Miura?” 

Logan—Dr. Miura?—shakes his head, stirring his double shot vanilla mocha. Ev can’t understand why he opted for a hot coffee in the middle of a summer day. “My first name is fine. It’s not like I’m a professor.”

“Was that your plan? To be a professor?” Ev asks, now overly curious. It’s like his own pre-IGNITE! idea to study English lit into grad school and beyond is materializing right in front of him. After that, he wasn’t quite sure what he wanted to do with his life. Now, all those plans have gone out the window.

“At first, I wanted to be a translator. Professor or teacher would have been fine in a pinch.”

And now he’s managing an idol group, though Ev doesn’t think he has much more to do than ensure their schedules never overlap. They’re all adults. They can take care of themselves.

Ev prompts him again. “How did you end up here?” He gestures vaguely to himself, as if to say, how did you end up babysitting me?

“It’s a long story.”

His ice cubes are watering down his drink—which wasn’t very good in the first place—but he doesn’t mind. He says so out loud, and Logan’s mouth twists into what might have been a grimace. 

“I moved to Seoul in 2017, a year after I got my bachelor’s. It was between here and Hong Kong. Some of my college professors recommended a few programs to me after I expressed an interest in learning another language. After I picked Korea, I met Hayoung.”

Ev bites his tongue gently, working hard to not interrupt him. He has questions on top of questions to ask. Why not Hong Kong? What was his degree in? Hayoung, their boss?

“If it wasn’t for her, I wouldn’t have made it through the program. My advisor hated me. He used to host department events and invite everyone down to the Korean undergrads but never the international students. I graduated in 2022, and Hayoung offered me a job during C’s founding. I was supposed to manage Sejun at first. No one knew he was bringing along his former group’s manager until he did. Then it was TFTS for a few months—have you heard of them?” He pauses here.

“A little,” Ev says. He doesn’t admit that he only found out about them after he won IGNITE!

“I thought so. That venture didn’t last long. IGNITE! was in the beginning stages of production then, and it was a given I’d stay on to work with the winners. And now I’m here.” Logan takes a long drink and then gestures across the table. “Your turn.”

For some reason, Ev hesitates. He knows it’s hypocritical after he’s asked Logan to tell his life story. But Ev’s never enjoyed talking about himself, and he can already tell he’s like the British, less qualified version of his manager. “Can we stick a pin in that?”

Logan gives him a long look before he acquiesces. “Alright. You have a long day ahead of you tomorrow. We should head back.“ He stands up to dispose of his cup.

Ev shakes the remaining ice shards in his drink. He’s barely given his debut a thought in the past few hours. There isn’t much to think about. Lightspeed will succeed, and his name will be written in kpop history forever.

[i-love-yoi]

Hero, Mari and Sunny with Idol reader.

I'm very ashamed that it took so long to do this. I just had to correct my grades for the trimester, then my grades, and I could barely crawl to bed, and then again it was 6-7 in the morning, and now I was also sick, but now I’m on sick leave.

TW:GN!reader, romance relationship, Mari from DreamWorld, spoilers(?), takes place after the Mari incident.

Hero

•In fact, the guy supported you at the very beginning, when you were trying to form your own team and reveal your musical skills.

•He often supports you during your training sessions and is clearly proud of you.

•However, if you ask him to control your abilities, he will find fault with absolutely everything.

•It’s like that same person when you’re reciting a poem or reading aloud, and he interrupts you, saying something like: “Actually, there’s not a thread there, but a twig!” and further attacks.

•It seems to me that he is a bit of a perfectionist.

•However, he does this not out of malice, but so that you become more ideal in this matter, and it will be easier for you in the future.

•He also often supports or consoles you, saying: “You would have sung perfectly, but at this moment the tone should have been a little higher.”

•However, if you invite him to your group, he will immediately refuse.

•As he himself believes, singing is not his thing, and performing on stage, I think, is not very comfortable for him.

•As you move forward, further and further, reaching your debut and giving concerts, rest assured that he will shine at every concert you perform.

•He will quickly try to make friends with your group by establishing contact.

•He may spoil you with a trip to a cafe or he will cook some delicious food to praise you.

•Unfortunately, if you travel all the way to other countries, he will not be able to be with you, since, after all, he is studying at college, and there is almost no rest and vacation there.

•However, you can always call him, and after going to the toilet, he can support you, reassure you and wish you good luck, holding his fingers for you.

•If you get your own personal merch, of course, like his little brother, he won’t spend all his money on merch, but he will buy himself some things.

•When you release even your first songs, he will obviously set them as his ringtone or add them to his list of favorite songs.

•To create songs, you need some kind of situation to rely on it and create meaning in the song, because songs are not an empty set of letters and notes, but a whole story of someone’s story and situation, someone’s opinion and thoughts.

•This is where Hero will help you.

•We all know that every branch of the profession has its own dark secrets that not everyone is ready to reveal, but medicine generally has a lot of them.

•Moreover, many trust Hero, and most likely could share their situations and thoughts with him, or accidentally overhear both the lecturer and classmates.

•Also, he is a person who likes to think deeply, so the meaning of the song will always be in your pocket, no matter how many songs you have already made.

•But what if you want to become a Japanese or Korean idol? Are you from another country altogether, but you don’t know their national language?

•Hero will invite you to learn the language together.

•Of course, this will only make it more difficult for him to study in college, but why not just try, like self-development for example?

•Moreover, when you want this with your loved one, it becomes even more pleasant.

Mari

•She will be clearly surprised and will encourage you in your endeavors.

•During training, he will also be slightly supportive and will not be able to take his eyes off you.

•When you gather your personal group, she will get to know everyone there and will immediately find a common language, making friends.

•Often she will treat you with various goodies from her basket, and also, while you are lying on her lap, stroke your head, comforting you and saying that you will succeed and you can do everything.

•Oh, at your concerts she is clearly the brightest of all fans, actively waving glow sticks.

•Although, she will stand out from all the fans, since the omori gang is basically the only one with a human shell of all the inhabitants of Headspace.

•No matter where you play concerts, even if it's inside Humphrey, Mari will still be there.

•If you have your own merch, Mari will definitely buy herself a couple of things, especially if it’s clothes.

•She'll love seeing you blush while she's wearing your band T-shirt with the band name on it.

•She would also talk about you to many people, praising you and your songs.

•Regardless of the meaning of the song, she really likes them.

•If you are a singer, she will obviously ask you for the sheet music of one of your songs, and ask you to do a duet with her while she plays your song on the piano.

•She often asks you for sheet music to play the piano.

•Sometimes out of boredom or when doing something, such as cleaning her basket, she may hum lines from your songs, even if they are in other languages.

•In fact, Mari is one big support group for you.

•If you learn another language, she will enjoy your spoken language.

•Also, she will sometimes ask you how, for example, you say apple in Korean or something else.

•She loves to hear your sweet voice and unfamiliar language; in any case, it will always seem beautiful to her.

Sunny

•He's interested in your desire to become an idol, but of course he won't admit it.

•Seeing your persistence in training, he secretly admires you, so don’t be surprised if he only has eyes for you.

•Honestly, he wouldn’t even make the first movement in the dance with his hands, what can I say further.

•Consider that in Dreamworld you are already the most popular and successful idol that everyone loves.

•Okay, maybe he had a thing for Asian gyaru girls who are very energetic, like puppies, and also a little selfish and arrogant, and your image changed to something like that—

•When you gather a group, he will be a little distant from them, as he will feel uncomfortable.

•These are new people unknown to him, you never know what they will do or say, and they will even take you for something strange, he doesn’t need that.

•You won’t get verbal support from him, sorry, but no.

•However, tactile and physical are clearly to be expected.

•He likes tactility, but doesn't show it very clearly, especially in public.

•At concerts he will be quite quiet, but the glow sticks in his hands will be raised anyway.

•He likes your songs, I'm not kidding.

•He will literally be in headphones 24/7, listening to your songs, even falling asleep with them.

•Because of this, by the way, his ears then hurt terribly and his hearing is much worse.

•If they offer themes for songs, they are mostly dark or rated 18+ or 21+

•But you will accept them anyway.

•He will watch in awe as you create song lyrics out of nothing.

•If you ask him to play a duet with you, he will refuse at that very second, he will clearly be uncomfortable.

•He only knows how to play the violin, and his violin, well... It's broken.

•Yes, even if the violin was repaired, he would still refuse before you finish the sentence.

•Don’t even mention joining a group, he’d rather eat a bar of soap than perform on stage, in front of a large number of people, and also in an unfamiliar company, well, this is clearly not his habitat.

•Moreover, you need to train long and hard and spend a lot of energy.

•He barely has enough strength to get out of bed, what exercises and training?

•If you start learning a foreign language, Sunny, as always, will watch it, admiring you.

•It’s literally like you’re learning to speak again, and he doesn’t even know his native English.

•And when you speak fully in another language, it is heaven for his ears.

•Now in his dreams you also call him nicknames in different languages.

[btsxmalereaders]

♡ Meant To Be

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x male reader

Fluff ♡ | Requested

Word Count: 2,8k

Masterlist

Don't forget to vote on whosfan and stream

"Aren't you even a little curious about it?"

You've heard this question thousands of times already; yet, the answer for it has never changed.

"No, not really." You shrug while your friend stares at you in disbelief. "Why do you ask knowing my answer?"

"I just had the hope that you changed your mind," Jeonghan says. "You know, out of everyone in our group of friends, you're the only one who hasn't found their soulmate."

You take one last sip of your tea and sigh, "And you're telling me this to make me feel bad?"

"No! It's just... I thought that would make you feel at least curious of the person whose name is written on your wrist ever since forever."

Your eyes immediately go to your wrist, and your other hand covers the name with your sleeve.

"And I still don't get your habit of covering it, as if you don't want us to know." He laughs. "Are you trying to ignore it and expect to find them like people picture it on dramas?"

Inevitably, you roll your eyes, "I don't know what to tell you. I just think that if we're really meant to meet, then it's gonna happen... someday. I'm in no rush."

Jeonghan nods in understanding, "I guess you're right."

"I am always right." You chuckle. "Now keep telling me about Injae, how is it going with her?"

That's exactly the way you would always dissociated yourself from the topic every time you were asked about it. It wasn't something you really cared about, unlike to your friends. You were happy with the way things are right now.

"... we are taking things slow, and it's all going great. I am really happy about it." He puts on a goofy smile and his ears and cheeks quickly covers in a tinted pink.

"Aw, my little Jeonghan is in love, who would've thought?"

"Shut up, who said anything about love?" He tries to act cool, but he's still smiling and feeling nervous.

"Please," You scoff. "That smile tells me you're head over heels about her. And the way your eyes shine whenever you talk about her? Seems like love to me."

"Ha, ha, ha, you really like to make fun of me, don't you?" He sarcastically blurts. "I am dying to see how you're gonna be once you meet your soulmate. "

"Mmh, we'll see about that..."

Just when you're about to continue reading your textbook, your phone buzzes over the table. You already got distracted by talking to Jeonghan when you both were supposed to be studying for the upcoming exams, but you decide to read the messages you received.

"What's better, keep studying or going out to grab lunch with Sihwan?" You throw the question in the air, to which your friend hums.

"Your friend that works at JYP entertainment?" You nod. "I mean, anything is better than studying for socials, so if I were you, I would go."

"You say that because you want to bump into an idol, don't you?"

"If you meet Twice, could you ask them to  autograph something for me?" He says with a pout, making you laugh.

"I am not that lucky." You say and quickly start gathering your belongings to put them on your backpack. "You're meeting Injae later, right? I'll catch you up at the dorm?"

"Sure, I'll see you later."

With that being said, you start walking to the building. Even when your friend has invited you a couple of times already, you couldn't help but feel nervous. That weird feeling in your stomach and the tingling in your skin, like chills. Trying to ignore it, you pass by a nearby restaurant and order Sihwan's favorite food, carrying the bags carefully until you reach the entrance of the building.

After a few messages letting him know you're already there and a few more minutes of waiting, your friend greets you with a smile and a pat on your back, helping you with the bags in your hands and guiding you to the elevator. Unusual, but you don't say anything about it.

"I have more work than usual today, I hope you don't mind eating in my studio."

"You won't get in trouble?" You ask, feeling concerned,  but he only denies with his head as he presses a button.

"Don't worry, it's fine."

You silently follow him, trying to not look at anyone in the eyes when you walk through the hall, all the way to the studio. Anyway, no one seems to be aware that you are a regular college student. Lots of people work in there and it's hard to keep track of everyone in there.

"Come in, seriously, it's okay." He chuckles by seeing how you look around and slowly walk inside. "I've been working on the melody and guide for a new group these past hours."

The door is closed and Sihwan sits on the office chair and signals the sofa behind it for you to do the same.

"You brought food from that new restaurant down the street? Sweet." He says and opens the bag, placing the food containers on the wooden table between you two. "I've been starving."

"Working for a new group, you said?" You ask with interest, grabbing what you ordered for yourself and start eating as well.

Sihwan nods, "A girl group, they've been working hard and will debut soon, I hope you can listen to them."

"I am kinda old school, but for you I can do it, I guess..."

You two continue having a conversation about music and how you've been doing at college while sharing food. The last time you met with him was a couple of months ago, so the conversation keeps going for a while until he decides it's time to go back to work.

"Well, in that case I'll leave you. I've got to go back to study too." You say as you stand up and clean the desk.

"Mmh, okay. Thanks for this, how about we go have dinner next week? It's gonna be on me."

"Sounds great to me. Text me the details later?"

"Sure thing." He promises and smiles. "You know how to get back, right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. See you!"

As soon as you step out of the studio, you look around to make sure no one is walking in the hall, so you almost run to the elevator, not expecting that someone would bump into you as they exit one of the offices.

You fall to the ground and start apologizing immediately, feeling embarrassed.

"I am so sorry, I didn't see you." You hear them saying.

"No, I am sorry, I shouldn't have ran here." You say, and as you try to stand up, they're extending their hand to you to help you up.

You take the help and do a reverence as a thank you and clean the invisible dust on your clothing, and as you're about to walk to the elevator, their voice stops you.

"Y/N L/N?"

You stop on your tracks and finally have the courage to stare at them in the eye and realize that it's a guy, and a very handsome one, you must add. Your legs tremble at the sight, clearly stunned by seeing someone so good-looking. Your immediate thought is that he's an idol or trainee.

"Uh, do we know each ot-?"

Your question is interrupted as he shows you his wrist, and that's when you see it clearly. Your name tattoed on his skin.

"I am Hwang Hyunjin... your soulmate."

You're at the loss of words. The only thing you can do is get lost in his eyes staring back at you, looking for whatever to say, but the situation feels unreal. It's like your body is frozen.

"Hey, Hyunjin, is everything okay out there?" A third voice coming from the office brings you back down to earth.

"I am sorry, I gotta go." You quickly say the second he is distracted, running as fast as your legs allow it and get in the elevator, pressing the bottons and seeing him run in the hall one last time before the doors finally close.

You exit the building and walk to the bus stop, looking back from time to time only to realise that Hyunjin has not followed you. With your heart beating like crazy and your hands shaking you get to text Jeonghan to let him know you were on your way back to the apartment and that you had big news. He was definitely not going to believe it.

"Ow! What was that for?" You groan as Jeonghan grabbed a pillow and threw it to you.

"You just ran away?!"

"I panicked, okay? You can't put the blame on me for that!"

"With all due respect, you're an idiot." He sighs. "You met your soulmate and just ran, oh god... What are you going to do?"

"Uhh... nothing?"

Jeonghan grabs the pillow again just to throw it at you, but your hands stop him.

"Okay, okay, I'll do something about it. I'll go see him again!"

"That's a big lie, you say that as if I don't know you." He rolls his eyes.

"Yes, I am a coward. I don't know what should I do, help me." You say with a pout.

"Your friend? He may know him, don't you think?" He states as if it's so obvious.

"Ooh, you're right! I am going to have dinner with him next week, I can ask him..."

"See? It's like the universe is conspiring for you to meet again... Properly meet, I mean."

You stop listening to him as he starts complaining and making fun of the way you reacted earlier.  Your mind is now finding a good way to reach out to him.

"...And I could finally finish that song." Sihwan says with a grin and takes a sip of his beverage. "I was practically isolated and had no proper human contact for a while, so thanks to our talk and delicious food I could finish in no time after that."

You giggle, "Really? Then I am happy I could be helpful, don't forget to add me on the credits."

He laughs at the joke and continues talking, "You didn't get caught on your way out, right?"

"Well... about that."

"Wait, are you serious? Did you get in trouble?" He asks, concerned.

"No, no! It's just that... Do- do you know Hwang Hyunjin?"

It's now or never.

Sihwan seems to think about it for a second, feeling confused. "Yeah, I mean, our team is not working with them, but I've talked to him and his group a couple of times. Why? You ran into him?"

"Yeah, but also..." You lift the sleeve of your shirt, letting him see the name written on your skin.

"No way! Really?" He says with a big smile. "Hell, congratulations! How- wait, why don't you look happy about it?"

"Because I panicked and ran away before I could say something to him." You say and hide your face behind your hands out of frustration. "I need your help, hyung."

"Okay," He chuckles. "Of course, what can I do to help?"

You sigh and take out a folded paper from the pocket of your ripped jeans, looking at it for a second before handling it to your friend. "Could you give this to him?"

Sihwan takes it and nods. "Of course, I'll give it to him as soon as I can."

Now all you have to do is wait.

You plop down in the sofa and stare at the screen of your phone for the millionth time today, feeling hopeless at this point. It has been one week since you asked Sihwan to give that letter to Hyunjin, and ever since, you couldn't help but wait for a message from him, or even a call, despite you don't knowing what would you even say.

"Hmm, you haven't heard anything from him?" Jeonghan asks and sits next to you. You deny with your head and sigh. "Maybe he's busy. I heard his group is going to do a comeback soon."

"A what, now?" You ask, and your friends looks as you in disbelief.

"Don't tell me you haven't looked up for him on internet. I mean, he was in JYPE for a reason."

"Uhh..."

"Oh my god, I swear you are..." He doesn't finish his premise. Instead, he takes the phone from your hands and looks up for his name on the web. "Stray Kids, you didn't look up for him? I can't believe this, are you even on social media?"

"Shut up, let me see this."

You quickly read their information, going directly to the names and pictures of the members, quickly finding Hyunjin and realizing your friend is right. How come you didn't think of it?

"Oh yeah, here says they're releasing an album in a few days..."

"Told you." He murmurs. "Are you still going to wait for him to text you?"

"Do I have another option? I don't think I can go around the building just looking for him, even if I am with Sihwan."

"Hmm, you're right. I hope you can talk soon, though. Imagine this: you and Hyunjin together, we become friends and he gives me a tour in JYPE to meet Twice."

You roll your eyes and stand up, "You're being delusional. I'll go to sleep now, goodnight!"

"That's rude!" He groans and sees you walk away. "I hope you panick and run away again next time you see him!"

The next morning when you wake up, the first thing you do is check your phone, and your heart almost stops when you see a new message from an unknown number.

You go clean your face and take a deep breath to gather the courage you needed to finally read the long-awaited message.

With trembling hands you unlock your phone and click on the notification.

It was no surprise to see how easy was to talk with him. You two started talking on regular basis, when he was free from his schedule and when you weren't studying, which happened really late at nights.

Soon, those thousands of messages became frequent phone calls and videocalls that lasted hours, and to say that you both trusted each other with your lives was an understatement. You were still getting used to the idea that your soulmate was an idol; and it was weird to see him constantly on the internet, as of course you started following every other fan account you found on social media. Hyunjin, on the other hand, was trying to be very supportive of your studies and kept sending you messages of encouragement as well as listening to your ramblings about your career and complaints about your professors.

"So you've caught feelings for him, right? It was about time, Y/N" Jeonghan says with a shrug. "I know some soulmates only work as friends and all that, but it was pretty obvious to me that you'd end up in a romantic relationship."

"Really?"

He nods and smiles. "Of course! Are you going to ask him out?"

"I was planning to, but what if he doesn't feel the same? What if he just sees me as the friend type?"

Jeonghan hums. "Well, I think it's gonna be okay. You're soulmates for a reason, don't you think?"

You hesitate to grab your phone and open the message bar, typing a question and hoping things will go well after pressing the send button.

"Hyun, is it okay if I ask you out?

Like, on a date?"

A few minutes later you receive an answer,  needless to say, you didn't expect him to reply now, so you feel as if your heart is about to make a hole on your chest right now.

Hyun ♡

God, I was really hoping I wasn't the only one feeling this way.

Of course it's okay

I would love to go out on a date with you, Y/N ♡

You now feel at ease, the butterflies flying in your stomach and your body feeling so light as if you were floating. Is that how being in love feels like?

"He said he'd love to go on a date with me." You announce with a smile.

"See? There you go, my plan of meeting Twice soon is going awesome." He says and you give him a deathly glare. "I am kidding! But I have to say, who's smiling and blushing like a dumb right now?"

"Jeonghan!" You groan and grab a pillow to throw it at him, but he's quicker to stand up and walk away, still laughing.

Hyun ♡

Now you're not being shy, eh?

You won't run away from me when we meet?

You're the worst, you text back.

Hyun ♡

I may be

But I am your soulmate, so pretty much you can't get rid of me

He was right, but you were not intending to do that.

Because, now more than ever, you were sure things were meant to be this way. Right next to him forever.

[keanureevesisbae]

Coach Cavill - Chapter 7

Summary: Amelia is about to go on her first date with coach Cavill

Coach!Henry Cavill x Amelia Jung (Asian ofc)

Wordcount: 3.3k

Warnings: None

A/N: To celebrate the fact that I am done with school for a while, I thought I’d post (part one of) their date with you! I hope you like it 💕 please let me know if you want to be on the taglist!

Masterlist // Previous chapter // Next chapter

Within an hour I had to dress up to look splendid that Friday, because I didn’t want Dean to see how beautiful I was going to look. Maybe the stress dressing up under sixty minutes also had to do with the poor state of my planning today, but we are simply going to ignore that.

The entire week I have been looking forward to this. During the training yesterday, Henry kept stealing glances from me, after he made me a wonderful cup of cappuccino. It’s weird really, how head over heels I’m becoming, in just a matter of a little more than a week.

While everything Dean was exciting and somehow terrifying, since he was mysterious and a little hard to get, this instant connection I have with Henry feels so safe and familiar. I can’t stop thinking about him, to a point where Ricky, Annabelle and the rest of the little ones in my class kept asking me if I was doing okay. However, they figured out pretty soon I was a bit in love and now they continue to make kissy sounds during the day.

‘You look fucking hot,’ Eve says, as she brushes through my hair. ‘Lucky mister Henry Cavill.’

‘Is it too much?’ I ask, as I smooth down my tight dark blue dress, that Isabella insisted on me wearing and it’s a good fit: I mean, it accentuates the few curves I have. I look down at the matching high heels and sigh deeply. ‘It’s too much,’ I conclude.

‘No, honey, it’s not too much. You look beautiful and I know that Henry will think so too. Besides, he is already smitten with you, so I don’t think you have anything to worry about.’

I let out a sigh again. ‘It’s just that I’m nervous. How long has it been since I had my last first date?’

‘When you were nineteen,’ Eve answers my rhetorical question. ‘I know that, but that went well too and since Henry is an absolute angel, this date will go without a hitch, I can guarentee. And besides, you have done things much more terrifying than this. You went to South Korea, debuted in a girl group. A full one eighty in career choices when you got here, went on a date with the mysterious hottie Dean, somehow made that work. Plus, you were a total bad ass and gave birth to Isabella on your own, who was breeched.’

I roll my eyes. ‘I highly doubt you can compare giving birth to a first date.’

‘What I want to make clear to you, is that you are fierce and awesome and Henry knows that too.’ Eve and I both yelp when the doorbell rings. ‘Your future husband is here.’

‘Shut up,’ I say, as we walk down the stairs. She stuffs something in my clutch and hands it to me. ‘What on earth did you put in here?’ I hiss, as I grab my coat from the rack.

‘A condom.’

I halt all my movements. ‘You did what?’

‘Better to be safe than sorry.’

Before I can tell her off and that I’m really not going to have sex with Henry on the first date, she pushes me to the door and I quickly put on my coat, before I open the door.

I’m hit with the realization that I’m going on a date with the most beautiful man on this planet. He looks illegally handsome, with his nice suit jacket hanging open, that matches with his black pants. He is wearing a white blouse, nicely tucked into his pants and the tease has the two top buttons open and the sight of his chest (and the chest hair) is making my mouth dry.

‘Wow,’ he says with a beautiful smile, ‘you look beautiful, Amelia.’

This is going to kill me. How am I supposed to survive this entire night? ‘It’s not too much?’ I ask, just to be sure and first date jitters taking the upper hand.

He shakes his head. ‘This is exactly right.’

I turn to Eve, who is holding in a squeal. After being friends with her for so long, I know every facial expression. ‘Only call me if it is a matter of life or death,’ I tell her.

‘Have I ever called you when it was not important?’ I cock an eyebrow and she nods. ‘Right, I have done that before. I’m sorry. Won’t do it tonight, promise.’

‘Very good. Please, don’t wait up and don’t sit on the front porch with the twins, because I know you three want to do that.’

Eve slaps me on my ass, before I step out of the house and I sincerely hope that Henry hasn’t seen that. From the looks of it seems like he hasn’t seen that, but maybe he is just polite and doesn’t show me he has seen it. ‘Don’t look back,’ I tell Henry, as we walk towards his truck. ‘She’ll embarrass either one of us if we do so.’

Henry can’t help but laugh and he opens the door of his truck. ‘Do I have to give you a boost or can you manage?’

‘Oh shut up,’ I chuckle as I get in the car, after I took his hand. ‘Because I’m short, I have developed cat woman like skills. You should see me in the classroom, when I have to grab something from the top shelf.’

‘I’ll believe that right away.’ He closes the door and I wave to Eve, who nods approvingly and gestures something about how firm his butt looks. I mean, I can only agree to that, but once again, sure as hell hope he hasn’t seen any of that.

Henry gets in the truck and before he puts the key in the ignition, he looks to the side, meeting my eyes. ‘What?’ I ask him.

‘You look breathtaking,’ he whispers, almost as if he doesn’t want me to hear this compliment.

I’m at a loss for words. ‘Oh,’ I manage to choke out. ‘Thanks…’

He clears his throat. ‘I’m just a little nervous.’

‘What? Why? If someone should be nervous, it’s me. One, I’m going on a date with you and two, my last first date was sixteen years ago.’

He chuckles, but he sounds really nervous. ‘Well, mine might’ve not been that long ago… But I have never been on a date with someone like you.’

‘Do you mean that in a good way or…?’

Henry’s eyes widen. ‘In a good way, of course,’ he hastily says. ‘It’s more that you are way out of my league.’

What? ‘I think I was hallucinating. What?’

‘I mean, have you even seen yourself? You are admirable, in any way.’

Is this how it feels when your heart not only is figuratively melting, but also literally? ‘Oh.’

‘You are truly one of a kind, Amelia and I sure hope I meet up to what you deserve.’

Okay, I’m officially blanking. What are words?

Henry smiles and starts the car. ‘I hope you like the place I booked. I heard some pretty good things about it.’

✰ ✰ ✰

Leave it to Henry fucking Cavill to not only book a spot at my favorite restaurant here in town, but also to have a secluded spot that I didn’t know was here. We sit on the patio, a heater pointed at us to keep us warm, as we look over the lake. We are surrounded by romantic Christmas lights, as we sit next to each other on the soft couch. His arm is resting on the back, his thumb softly drawing circles on my shoulder.

He hands me a glass of wine and I can’t help but melt a bit against his frame. ‘You did amazing,’ I say. ‘I really like this spot. I never even knew it was here. How did you discover this?’

‘I might’ve had some help from Greg.’

‘Convenient store Greg?’ I ask. ‘You two becoming friends?’

‘Yeah, I’m there quite a lot. He sometimes watches Kal when I’m not home for too long of a time. Annabelle constantly tells him that she loves Kal, so that’s a plus.’

‘Annabelle is in my class,’ I say. ‘A true angel. A cheeky one, but she is such a delight to have in class.’

Henry smiles, taking a sip of his wine. We’re still waiting for our food to arrive, but the wine will do just fine for now. ‘It’s quite the one eighty, to go from a K-Pop idol to a kindergarten teacher.’

‘Oh, you have no idea,’ I chuckle. ‘It was so weird, to go from that hectic world, fans screaming your name, photoshoot here, there, dance practice and just never not busy, back to Luna Meadows, where every second seems to tick at least three times. I had to spend three months in the barn in the back of my parents yard, to simply talk with Eve and Johnny, getting used to this pace again. It was nice to be back here though, since this will always be my home.’

He nods. ‘So, you come back to Luna Meadows when you were eighteen, go back to college and…’

‘And I met Dean, when I was nineteen, was twenty one when I had Benji, somehow got my degree and after I graduated, I married Dean.’

‘Wow,’ he says. ‘That is top tier multitasking.’

‘That’s what I thought so,’ I chuckle, taking a sip of my wine. ‘It was really important for me to finish college, because, I wanted to be able to provide for myself and even after I graduated, I worked three days a week. I’m not equipped to be a full-time house wife. I tried that for two months and then I became mad.’

Henry laughs. ‘And now you work full-time.’

‘I do, indeed. It’s the only way I can continue to pay for the house. I don’t want to move away from Eve and her baby sit service.’

He nods in agreement. ‘You are very lucky to have friends that care so much and do so much for you.’

‘I sure am,’ I say with a smile. I take another sip, before I ask: ‘What about you? Why did you leave Jersey to move here?’

‘I was a judo coach there and worked in a cafe. However, some family stuff happened and I had to get out of there.’ Henry clears his throat and shakes his head. ‘I’m sorry.’

‘No, no, you don’t want to talk about it, I totally understand it. Just, tell me how you got into judo then.’ I turn a bit to the side and oh my, I can feel his strong body against mine, but weirdly enough it doesn’t make me nervous anymore.

‘Oh, that was something me and my grandpa had together. All of my brothers were into team sports, like lacrosse, football and rugby.’

My eyes widen. ‘You have brothers?’

‘Mhm, four,’ he says.

‘Your mom had five kids?’ I ask him.

He can’t stop his laugh. ‘She did.’

‘Mad respect,’ I say. ‘I don’t want to be too TMI, but I had to recover six years after I had Benji before I even thought about adding another one. Not the point, Amelia,’ I quickly realize letting out a soft chuckle. ‘Your brothers were into team sports.’

Henry nods, a smile evident on his lips. ‘My entire family was obsessed with everything team sport related, including us as a family. I liked to do things solo, just like my granddad and that’s how judo became our thing. My family supported me and judo, of course, but… I knew they didn’t really like the sport as much as my granddad and I liked it. When I was twenty, I was actually doing pretty well. Competing in national tournaments, even some international ones.’

I frown. ‘Why do I feel a however coming up?’ I ask him.

He snickers. ‘However, I broke my leg in three places when I was in the gym.’

‘Oh no,’ I say, as I shiver.

‘Yeah, it was pretty bad,’ he chuckles. ‘But judo was my life and I couldn’t just let it go, so I started to work as a trainer and coach, but I didn’t make enough money to provide for myself, so I also worked in a cafe.’

I nod. ‘And why did you choose Luna Meadows?’

He shrugs. ‘It just felt right. And that’s where I met the most amazing judoka I have ever seen. Benji is miles ahead of not only everyone here, but also to everyone I have ever encountered.’

‘Including you?’

‘Including me,’ he laughs. ‘He is amazing.’

‘That’s because he has some judo genes from his amazing mother,’ I chuckle, as I throw my hair over my shoulder. ‘I was quite something back in the days.’

He chuckles. ‘So, what does Isabella do?’

‘She is in a drama club. When she was younger, she would force Benji, Yara, Jake and Lola to be side characters in a play she made up, where she was the main character. She is overly dramatic and I figured that I would do the other kids a favor if I would put her in a drama club. Yara and she go every Tuesday, Wednesday and Sunday after school with Eve.’

‘It must be amazing to have a friend this close living to you.’

‘It does,’ I say, as I stare at my wine. ‘Made the whole divorce thing a whole lot better to handle.’

‘I imagine. Divorce is never easy.’

‘Experience or…?’ I carefully ask.

‘I was married,’ he says, ‘but the second we said ‘I do’, it was already a lost cause, really. Actually, we never really fit together.’

I take a sip of my wine, but I place my other hand on his strong leg. Normally I wouldn’t be this forward, but it feels so warm and comfortable. ‘Is she part of the reason that you had to leave Jersey?’

He shakes his head. ‘No, we were married from my twenty fifth to my twenty seventh.’

Okay, he doesn’t want to continue to talk about it and for some reason I can’t stop the words from coming out of my mouth. ‘You know, I never thought I’d go on a date again.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because everyone in this town knows that I got divorced and everyone had an opinion about it,’ I whisper. ‘You know, I wasn’t exactly the most loved. A lot of them thought it was my fault that Dean started to see someone else. I wasn’t a good enough wife, who didn’t love her husband enough.’

When I look up, I see that Henry has clenched his jaw, before taking a sip of his wine. ‘That’s bullshit.’

‘I know,’ I say mostly out of disbelieve. ‘But good things happen to good people and now I met you.’

‘Moving to Luna Meadows was a good move on my behalf.’

Our pasta arrives and I sit up a bit straighter. ‘This looks delicious,’ I say, twirling around my fork, to twist the spaghetti around it. ‘Henry Cavill, you sure know how to swoop a woman off her feet.’

Henry smiles, taking a bite of his pasta. It’s different than mine, but it looks delicious. I can see him ogling my plate as well and I guess the grass is indeed greener on the other side. ‘Here,’ I say, with a fork full of pasta. I hold it above my other hand, so I won’t spill something on any of us. I now realize that it might be weird to feed a grown man on our first date, but I can’t go back now.

‘You’re a natural,’ he chuckles, before taking a bite. ‘Oh, yours is really good. Want a bite of mine?’

‘Sure,’ I say with a blush creeping up on my cheeks. He is a little clumsy, but somehow manages to bring the fork to my lips, without it spilling on my dress. With his thumb he wipes the corner of my mouth clean. ‘Am I tasting some cinnamon?’

‘That was what I was thinking,’ he says. ‘I would never put cinnamon in my pasta, but it is really tasty and it actually works.’

‘I once accidentally added honey to the chicken and somehow it turned out to be pretty okay.’

‘Yeah, Benji told me you weren’t a great cook.’

I hide my face in my hands. ‘I may have burned quite a few meals in my kitchen. One time, for Thanksgiving, I attempted to cook for Eve and Johnny, because they were having a bit of a rough time, with Lola being admitted into the hospital and all. However, I burned the entire meal, the kitchen was filled with smoke and I had a complete meltdown. Isabella called my parents and somehow my mom saved the day.’

Henry’s shoulder shake as he laughs. ‘That would be quite the sight.’

‘Oh, it was terrible. Can you imagine if I was a full time housewife? I think I’d have the fire department on speed dial.’

I want to add something to this (believe me, I have tons of stories of me nearly burning down my place), but my phone starts to ring and I quickly open my clutch to check the screen.

It’s Eve.

Part of me doesn’t want to take it, but I know that she took her promise serious. ‘I’m so sorry,’ I say.

‘Please, take it,’ Henry encourages me, when he sees me hesitating.

I pick up and say: ‘Eve, this better be very important.’ However I don’t hear her voice, but I hear Benji yelling in the background and that is something I barely understand. ‘What’s wrong? Is everything okay?’

‘I have no idea,’ Eve manages to say. ‘Isabella is just sitting in the corner of your living room, not speaking at all.’ That can’t be good. ‘Benji is on the edge of losing it, but I feel like he is too much in a rage to listen to any of us and Dean is outside, trying to let himself in, but we locked the door. I’m really sorry to interrupt your date, but I feel like both of your kids need you right now.’

My heart sinks. ‘Oh no,’ I mumble. ‘I’m coming back.’

‘I hate dad,’ I hear Benji yell in the background. ‘I fucking hate him.’

‘Benji, please stop it!’ Lola pleads.

‘This is not working, man,’ Jake adds.

‘Mom, Isabella is crying,’ Yara says.

I hang up, shaking my head. ‘I’m so sorry, Henry, I have to get back. Something is really wrong and according to Eve, Benji is really close to losing it completely and Isabella is not talking, Dean is outside of my house…’

‘I heard it,’ he says, already standing up, holding up my coat. ‘Let me get you home.’

[ahgapride98]

REFLECTION ABOUT GOT7’S COMEBACK

Hello baby birds! I know it has been a long time since I last posted and I’m so sorry about it, I’ve been extremely busy with college and life in general and couldn’t find time to post anything here. But… good news: I’m finally free and I plan on finishing my ‘Memory Lane’ series, but first I need to address some things regarding this comeback that I’m not so happy about.

1. GOT7’s ‘Eclipse’ MV views in the first 24h. It’s no secret that we only got 6’5M views for Eclipse in the first 24h after its release (less than the views for ‘Miracle’ and ‘Focus On Me’ – JUS2 subunit). Now, I don’t really know who we should blame for this: YouTube or ourselves? While streaming the MV I noticed that the views were frozen for approximately 1h whole hour, and the worst part of all is that we never got those views back. I was so mad at YouTube for doing us dirty when we were putting all of our best efforts there for the boys (we had a great start, 500.000 views in just 1h after the release); But another thing I also noticed was that our streaming party didn’t really work, it was like ahgases were not working together to reach our 15M goal. It almost felt like we weren’t there, and that makes me sad because we almost got the same result as we did with ‘Look’ (6M views). I really had big hopes of breaking Lullaby’s record (10M in the first 24h), but it seems like we are going backwards instead of forward. This made me feel like the fandom decreased instead of growing - something that is not true because our fandom got bigger after the world tour. Now, like I said before, I don’t know if we should blame YouTube for this or ourselves. I honestly think it’s a combination of both, YouTube really did us dirty but we should have tried harder for our boys. (Funny thing: our views in the first 24h were really low but we managed to reach 30M views in just 5 days, beating our own record…).

2. Melon issue. This is something I talked about in my ‘Lullaby Comeback Reflection’ post, and I still think the same thing. I don’t know why Melon hates us, but they do. On the first day (20/05), we debuted at number 52, and just went downhill from there reaching the 71st place. Then, on the second day (21/05), it seemed like we went up for a bit and managed to reach the 45th position, then we dropped to 55 and from there we charted 100 and eventually disappeared from the chart. On the third day (22/05), we appeared again at number 90 only to drop to the 91st place, and then go up to 75. Finally, on the fourth day (23/05), we charted the 82nd place and after that we disappeared from the chart. As you can see our results are not good enough, ‘Eclipse’ charted really low compared to other songs. On top of that, we only charted for four days before completely disappearing from the Melon chart. I’m positive this is Melon’s doing, they did us dirty in our last comeback too and I wouldn’t be surprised if they are supressing our listeners and sabotaging our streaming party. I’m so sorry for the boys because they worked really hard for this, but their efforts are still not recognised in Korean charts (specially Melon).

3. Timing. This is a really important point. We have to be honest and admit that GOT7’s comeback came in the worst time ever. First of all, it was scheduled shortly after Bambam’s ‘Black Feather Tour’ in Thailand, Jackson’s birthday fan meeting in China and JUS2 debut and tour. Many ahgases spent a lot of money buying the new subunit albums and tickets for all the shows. Also, we have the world tour just around the corner, so it makes sense that many ahgases prefer saving their money to buy tickets for the tour instead of buying the new albums. On top of that, we can’t forget that the majority of the fandom are teenagers and young adults that have final exams around this time of the year (myself included, the day of the comeback I had my first final exam in college). This obviously made the fandom focus on other things that were by far more important to us than the comeback (sad but true).

4. Sales – Album stock. This is closely related to the last point. Because of the timing the comeback was scheduled, our sales weren’t good either. On the first day, we sold 62,002 copies (our best result ever), but throughout the week we only managed to sell 214.125 copies (not good enough to win on music shows). Now, this has to do with the lack of stock: for some reason there weren’t enough albums and a lot of ahgases had to wait until Wednesday to be able to purchase them (that’s a whole day lost there, thanks for nothing JYP…). I don’t understand why this happened, especially if we take into account that GOT7 is the best album-seller under JYP Entertainment (‘Eyes On You’ sold 223.844 copies in the first week, the best-selling album under the company). They should have been more prepared and have stock ready knowing that even though GOT7 are not digital monsters, the rock with album sales.

5. Music shows. We don’t have to be geniuses to know that with our bad charting and lower sales, we have very few options of winning with ‘Eclipse’, even if we do well with MV views. In music programs, they give more importance to digital sales than physical album sales, and since we are not even charting anymore (in most charts), I am going to be honest here and say that I don’t think we are going to win anything (‘You Are’ 2.0). My thoughts are based -specially- after today’s Show Champion: we were nominated but didn’t win. Usually the time to bring trophies home is during the first week after the comeback was released (or the second week of promotions), after the first week winning is really hard. But based on our horrible start and everything that happened last week, I don’t think we are going to get any trophy with this comeback (just my opinion, I could still be wrong).

EDIT: I WAS WRONG, WE WON ON MCOUNTDOWN (30/05), MUSIC BANK (31/05) AND INKIGAYO (02/06)!!!!! 💚💚

6. JYP Division 2 - Promotions. This is something that has to do with this comeback, but also something that I have been accumulating for months now. The way Division 2 handles and promotes GOT7 is pure shit, it’s like they are not even focusing on them. First, they barely put them on variety shows, and the only one they went to -Idol Room- was lacking promotion music wise; and the promotion period is just two weeks (meaning that this upcoming week is the last one we will be seeing them on music shows). They spent the first 30 minutes of the program talking and messing around with Doni and Coni, and then introduced ‘Eclipse’. For a non GOT7 fan, an outsider, this could get boring pretty fast. Secondly, the album stock situation: because of that mistake we lost sales, sales that were crucial for music shows. Thirdly, the time they decided to release the comeback was extremely bad calculated, they should have known this could happen. Also, their decision of debuting a new subunit and sending Bambam on tour was something benefitial at the moment but with not so good long term consequences, as everything now seems rushed and poorly done. I understand that it’s really hard to schedule comebacks, specially if we take into account the company as a whole: Itzy’s debut - JUS2 debut / Jinyoung drama - StrayKids comeback - Twice comeback - Itzy comeback - GOT7 world tour - Twice world tour - StrayKids world tour... but even though everything is packed, I still think that things could have been done differently. There’s something wrong with the management team in Division 2 that is affecting GOT7 negatively, and that also makes me fear for Itzy (as both groups are under this division).

7. JYP strict rules towards fans – Fansigns problems. This point has to do with issues that happened weeks prior to the comeback, but that is clearly affecting the promotions. In case you didn’t know, ‘fans’ followed GOT7 members everywhere (yes, even to their homes), the situation got so out of control that even the boys had to post in their personal Instagram accounts the official statement released by JYP Entertainment, and because of that JYP reinforced the rules that ahgases must follow when they are with the boys. But this rules have gone as far as to not even allowing the fans to touch or high five the members in fansigns (now, let’s remember that the fans that go to the fansigns have spent a ridiculously huge amount of money on albums just to get the chance of going), and not letting the members write the names of the fans in the albums (they just basically sign the album and that’s it). And not only that, recently ahgases that went to one of the fansigns last week took to Twitter to express their discontent with how they were treated by the staff. I’ll leave some of the messages that ahgases posted on Twitter:

I do agree that we must protect the boys, and I think those rules are great to be followed outside. But on a closed space with security to watch over everything that’s going on in the event, not allowing fans to even get a high five with the members is going a bit too far. Also, the staffs’ attitude needs to be checked: they are there working, not having fun with their friends. They should know their position in the fansigns, and not disturb the conversations going on between fans and the members of GOT7. I really hope JYP Entertainment thinks things over, because if not the consequences could be catastrophic. Take as an example the upcoming tour, no info about VIP tickets has been released yet. In fact, for the America leg of the tour there are no VIP tickets. That makes me wonder how things are going to be done in the tour.

8. Album and comeback thoughts (focused on just the boys and music). After so many negative comments, the only good thing about all of this is seeing the boys together and doing what they love. I can’t express with words how happy I am to see them together again after so much time. Also, the whole album is a bop. It’s the bop of the year (fight me on that): all the songs are amazing, the vocals, the raps, the lyrics, the music, the style, the concep... just everything is out of this world. I’m so glad that they get to perform on stage and carry out the message this album has. I couldn’t relate more with the meaning of this album, and I know we all ahgases feel the same way. Even though a lot of negative things have happened in the past few weeks, I’m still happy to see they are back and better than ever. As their fans, the only thing we can do is support them no matter what and be there for them just like they are here for us when we need them the most. Also, I can’t wait for the tour to start and I can’t wait to see them again this year. I’m so excited that just listening to the songs of the last tour makes me feel tingly on the inside!

Well baby birds, that’s it for today’s post. I’ll update my ‘Memory Lane’ series as soon as possible as some of you have been asking for the remaining members. I love you all!!! 💚🐥💚

[kimmy-trans]

【Japan Official Fanclub Magazine Vol.2】BTS My Biography – Suga’s part

From a mischievous child to a young boy that loves to read

Born in Daegu, South Korea’s 3rd biggest city, which is located in the south. I lived there until I came to Seoul. I was just an ordinary child, I always liked to mess around. So, the teacher in nursery didn’t really like me (laughs). I remember that I always got told off “it’s dangerous!” I liked sports and I was especially good at running. From primary school to high school, I often got chosen to participate in the relay race. And I was above average in studying.

When I was a child, I really liked to go out to play with my friends. But as I grew up, I wasn’t that fond of going out to play. Even when I went out to play, we just met in the park, there were nothing to do though. I didn’t like that, so I usually stayed at home along on the weekends. My mother said: “you should go out to see your friends sometimes.” (laughs)

I liked to collect, so I collected a lot of books when I was a child. Because at the time, I wanted to be cultivated, I wanted to pretend that I’m civilized. So, I read many grown up novels, poetry anthology, literary works and news articles which didn’t suit me… I read all genres of books. I don’t know why but from middle school onwards, I started to have the habit of reading from the back page. Now, I would read books sometimes. My reading speed is quick because I read chunks of writings.

First love in primary school… I honestly don’t have any memories about that. Unlike Seoul, the place I live in is quite conservative. Especially in my school, it’s rare to see boys talking to girls. Even being next to a girl made me shy, I didn’t even say a thing.

Encountered Hip-Hop Started to compose music in middle school

I became interested in music when I was in 5th grade of middle school, I saw the Korean artist Stony Skunk’s performance on TV. At the time, the genre Ballad was in its prime. If 18 teams were on a music show, 10 would be ballad groups, 5 would be idol groups and the remaining 3 would be other genres, Stony Skunk was one of the 3. Stony Skunk was really cool, their style is so different from the other groups. I’ve never been interested in music before that, but under the influence of Stony Skunk, I started to listen to Hip-Hop and Reggae music. I was also influenced by Epik High. MP3 players were getting popular at the time but I bought a Panasonic CD player and listened to music with that.

That’s how I started to listen to music, and at the same time I started to write song as well. No one told me to do it, but I just felt like I should write something. I started to write rap lyrics in primary school and started to compose music in middle school. At the time, no one around me liked Hip-Hop. Although Hip-Hop is getting popular again in Korea but when I encountered Hip-Hop, it was a genre that was popular from a long time ago. You probably couldn’t find anyone who raps on the street, apart from me. My friends complained when I sang rap songs in the karaoke room. You know there’re those special hand gestures in Hip-Hop, I got laughed at because I did those gestures.

Despite all of that, I continued to like Hip-Hop. I got to perform on the stage for the first time in 2nd of middle school. I performed Dynamic Duo’s ‘Go Back’ with my friends. I don’t like standing in front of many people but I just felt like I had to do it. I wanted to show off the rap that I’ve been practicing, although I wasn’t that great (laughs). Actually, I wanted to attend an arts high school, so I even produced classical music. But arts high school is too expensive so I attended an ordinary high school. I said to my father, “I’ve made enough music, I’ll study properly when I’m in high school.” But I never kept my promise (laughs).

Joined an underground crew in hometown, started to work as an underground rapper

I produced music in middle school for self-satisfaction, and I made songs in a hobby level. But after I changed the MIDI equipment, I started to make music properly. When I was in 1st grade of high school, I made a person to listen to my song, he was a teacher to me and he really liked it. Then he introduced me to a Hip-Hop crew called ’D-Town’ and I joined in. That song had a New Age music feeling to it but the Hip-Hop beats were like Nujabes. For your information, the teacher that acknowledged me studied in Berklee College of Music and now he’s a music director for movies. After I joined the crew, I started to learn rap properly. Although I’ve been rapping since primary school but since no one around me raps, so I always thought I was the best (laughs).

This is how I started my underground activities in Daegu. It also made me realize that working in the underground scene is difficult to make a living. The hyungs that I worked with was 10 years older than me, there were even people over 30 years old. They had to work part-time along with making music, it looked so tiring. I really hated the fact that it was difficult to gather 100 audience when we try to hold a live performance. I thought “if I succeed, can I be the bridge between mainstream music and underground music?” There are many people that makes great music in the underground scene, so I thought when I become famous, I’ll give them a better environment to work in and I want to let the world hear my hyungs’ music.

And at the same time, I heard that BigHit Entertainment was holding an audition in Daegu. I only knew that producer Bang Shi Hyuk established the company but I still auditioned. The next day, I got the notice that I passed the audition. Later, someone told me that when he saw me, he immediately gave me a pass. Even though my rapping wasn’t really good at the time (laughs).

Came to Seoul, became a trainee Ran counter to his (original) intention?!

I can still clearly remember the day that I came to Seoul, 7th November 2010, when I was in 2nd grade of high school. When I joined the company, my original intention wasn’t to become a rapper, I wanted to become a producer. So, I thought I didn’t need to dance, and I can leave rapping to those that are good at it. I thought I only need to be a producer. But that wasn’t the case (laughs). At the time, the company wanted to debut a group consists of rappers, rather than an idol group. However, the plan changed at the end. The members at the time were Rap Monster, J-Hope and I. Including Supreme Boi, i11evn hyung who’s currently working in the underground scene, and IRON hyung, who was one of the finalists in 'Show Me The Money 3’. I think if we debuted like that, our rapping would be outstanding but we would probably have failed (laughs).

Rapper & Producer Suga’s future goals

I’m able to walk on the path of music, it’s because of my brother, who’s 4 years older than me. Under my influence, my brother started to like Hip-Hop too. No one supported me in my family when I went to audition, except for my brother. They don’t approve of making music. My relatives even said to me: “what can you achieve from making music, just study properly.” So, I could only share my songs with my brother, he was my only listener. And I told my brother first when I passed the audition. We have a good relationship just like friends. I don’t usually drink but I drink a bit with my brother. Of course, my family support me now. The relatives that advised me to study even came to ask for my autograph (laughs).

I’ve been thinking lately that I want to be active as a producer. I’m not ambitious about being in the center, I just want to make music. I’m not interested in the entertainment industry, others want to either act or be on variety shows, but I don’t (laughs). Above all, I think the most important for BTS right now is to achieve #1 in Korea and Japan. And, I want to become the best rapper, the best producer. I don’t know how long it will take to achieve that but I’m going to give it a go.

BTS Biography - Jimin (Vol.5) BTS Biography - V (Vol.3)

Trans: KIMMYYANG (from Korean mondomizel1)

[lee-changjae]

[TRANS] 20130724 Hot Debut Diary Interview - Changjae②

[Hot Debut Diary] MR.MR Changjae② "Another name for 'crisis' is 'opportunity'"

These days, new idol groups continue to come out every day. Some may say, "There are too many, I don't know who is who," but if you look closely, everyone is charming and passionate in their own ways. Their devotion to work hard is equal to their love for music. Many more idol groups have come out within the last year in particular. Because of this, groups who debuted at that time shake their heads together as one when they recall their debut. Also, they had experienced something very important. They personally experienced that you won't survive unless you work hard and do your best.

MR.MR are also one of the male idol groups who entered the music industry last year. They are a 5 member group consisting of leader Jin, Tey, Ryu, Changjae, and Doyeon who released their debut single album "Who's That Girl" in October 2012. They are now a rookie who are warmly welcoming their 1st year since debut.

With a great passion for singing and dancing, the dream to become a singer was obtained. They made their debut after a long time of their sweat and tears falling. Let's find out the story of what happened to the members before becoming MR.MR through 'Hot Debut Diary'.

MR.MR's 'Hot Debut Diary', the first main character is Changjae.

When he was younger, he was a kid full of curiosity with a strong sense of responsibility who gave his all in any given task.

Little kid Lee Changjae who asked "Why?" all the time followed his father and did sports, and received acknowledgement for his excellent ability. He was outgoing with a strong sense of responsibility when appointed the flag bearer during the cross-country expedition and leading the performances of the traditional music department. After 6 truly fulfilling years, he entered middle school and fell into a new world called 'dance'.

source | Herald Corp translation | LCJ1129

▶ Unstoppable 7th Grader

When I was in traditional music class during elementary school, I enjoyed it more than anything and because of that I thought about entering Gugak National Middle School. I spoke to my parents about this, and in return they asked, "Is this really the path you want to go?" Um... I thought deeply and worried over it, but in the end I replied, "I don't know".

I asked myself the same question that my parents asked me. "Is this really what you want to do?" However, I wasn't sure about joining. So, I went to public middle school.

7th grade at Garak Middle School! I think I was quiet at the start because my friends and my environment all became different than when I was in elementary school. However, after some time, I became more familiar with everything and turned into the outgoing Changjae again.

I studied hard too, and even played really hard at soccer and basketball. I became an unstoppable 7th grader.

▶ The busybody 8th grader started to dance

It was the same even when I was in 8th grade. All the friends I made was through sports. During lunchtime, I would play soccer and basketball no matter what. At first, we would all just play together, but after awhile we made a team and even went out to competitions. We had a soccer team at school, so I would go out to soccer tournaments as the school representative.

I was really a busybody at that time. Haha. I had to go to school and study as well as play sports.

One day I was walking home with my friends, Doyeon, who is also now a member of MR.MR, and Sehun, when Sehun took a different road than the way to his home. So, I asked where he was going and he said, "I'm going to dance." It was the first I'd ever heard him talk about it, I didn't imagine he was the type to be a dancer, but I thoughtlessly followed after him.

So, Doyeon and I arrived at the rooftop of a church, the place where Sehun danced. I think that moment was the first turning point of my life.

I didn't know anything outside of sports other than dance, so I learned about 'b-boying'. I still can't forget the scent of the church at that time. A sense of something like a gym warehouse? The only lights on made it look like the atmosphere was dance! It looked fun. "You try it too," Sehun told me while doing a handstand. I thought it would be easy, but in reality it was difficult. I practiced little by little and was able to move myself one at a time. That was fun...haha.

After that, besides soccer and basketball, I only had time for dance. I found myself practicing dance in the soccer club's locker room.

I felt an attraction to dance that was different than with soccer and basketball. So I chose to dance casually. It's different with soccer where it's only possible to play when everyone is all gathered together, but with dance you can do it by yourself in any free space.. I practiced whenever I wanted.

There was a place that supported teenagers' club activities, called Songpa Youth Center, and there was a practice room that I would use for dance practice. As a result, I didn't go to school as I should.

My passion for dance continued even when I was in 9th grade. Naturally, my grades fell. However, my dad encouraged me to take responsibility with dance. He told me, "If you use that passion you have for dancing, you can do anything."

Because of my dad, I gained strength and I think I was able to enjoy myself more.

▶ Preparations to enter college for physical education, but then hardship

I gathered about 8-10 of my friends and made a team, I began to work a bit more seriously. All the close friends I had when I was in middle school were scattered in different high schools. How could this happen? Everyone went to all different schools for the degrees they wanted. However, during high school festivals we would go to each other's schools as well as to girls' high schools and go around to perform.

The reactions were really good. Especially from Chungshin Girls' High School! It was unforgettable. Haha. I think that time was the first time I felt the thrill of the stage. Before starting I was knelt down on one knee, and I felt the thrill once I heard the cheers from the audience. At that moment, I thought, "Ah, I should keep doing this."

It wasn't a lot of money, but we did get some compensation and even made a team bank account, and when we would finish a performance we would buy something delicious to eat by ourselves. I really enjoyed it.

By the way, we all split up when we were in 12th grade. I needed to prepare for the college entrance exam anyhow. As you would expect I also started to worry about my career path, and I was determined to go to college for physical education when I played sports again. I prepared really hard for the studies as well as the practical skills.

To be exact, I started taking classes to prepare for the College of Physical Education since winter break of 11th grade. Actually, summer break of 12th grade was the most important time. At that time, I was working to raise my score for the practical skills portion, which I tried to maintain until the entrance exam. I got a perfect score on the practical skills portion for Korea National University of Physical Education. Around the time when summer break ended I took the practical test at the school, that day was really important.

However, something happened that was the 2nd turning point for me. I was in a car accident on the way to take the practical test. Because I had torn my cruciate ligament, I had no choice but to have surgery. I was hospitalized for about 3 months, and naturally I had missed the practical test but I went back to school around September. I felt really hopeless. But, I didn't give up.

Naturally, my body wasn't the same as it was before. Before the accident my record for the long jump was 275M, but now it would only come out to 240M. I continued practicing of course, and raised it up to 260M, but compared to before the accident it was really lacking.

My practical skills weren't the same as before so I thought I could make up for it with my grades, and the teacher also felt really sorry for me. More than being upset at myself, I was the most apologetic to my parents. Until now, I don't regret anything in my life, but I really regret that day..

I was the most upset about losing my athletic ability, so I became self-defeating. At the end of the twists and turns, I was in the preparation process to enter a community college for physical education, but because I was under a lot of stress I lost my will.

▶ Crisis is another opportunity

Actually, when I was in the hospital, my dad offered me a proposal. I decided that I shouldn't do sports, but he said to me, "Since you like dancing so much, what do you think about being a singer?". A friend of my dad's was someone who worked inside the music industry. If I wanted, he would introduce me.

I worried over it for a long time. For one thing or another. I couldn't completely let go of sports, and at that time I had a bit more interest in acting rather than singing and dancing. However, as my dad said, I did really enjoy dancing.. I worried over it for a while longer. But if I refused, I didn't want to regret it in the future. I thought it would be better to at least try while I had the chance since I was still young, rather than regretting not taking the opportunity later on.

I started something again during springtime when I was 20 years old! I diligently attended school and spent about 3 years as a trainee. I learned dancing and singing, and mastered the basic acting skills one step at a time. I didn't really think about being on the path to debuting into an idol group. Realistically, I went into it thinking of it as an opportunity when I remembered that I could gain something from my efforts until now.

As time went by, I met the members we have now one by one. There weren't the five of us together at the start like there is now. The members were changed and replaced several times. There were even 6 of us total once. Also, between Jin hyung, Tey, and myself, we remained in that state as 3 people when Doyeon joined. And lastly, maknae Ryu joined. I didn't really have a feeling like, "Ah!". Will it be this time? I wanted it to be. It was because I had observed the whole process of being made and broken up since the beginning. However, the image that they wanted at the company had been completed, and suddenly everything happened very fast.

From recording to the jacket filming, it was one thing after another! "Am I really going to debut?" I couldn't believe it. And I was anxious. Of course, I was happy and had good feelings about it, but I was nervous and had many complex feelings. October 5th, 2012! We had our debut stage on "Music Bank". Just as I had practiced, I went up on the stage with the mindset of "I think I did well," but when I came down and monitored, I thought it looked like we were 5 pieces of wood were moving. Hahaha. I was shocked when I saw it, I thought that I should practice my expressions and gestures so that it can look more natural.

Looking back, I think everything was a valuable experience. It was nice to be able to look back at everything that's happened so far. Before you know it, we're already heading toward our 1st anniversary since debut. I think we have a long way to go from now on, but we'll work hard! I will wholeheartedly do my best and be better than I am now.

I will become Changjae who works hard!

▶ Doyeon is the 2nd candidate of MR.MR's "Hot Debut Diary". His story continues in the next part, on Doyeon①.

source | Herald Corp translation | LCJ1129

[tayegi]

The Anti-Fan Ch. 1

Loosely based on the movie So I Married an Anti-Fan

For @btssmutgalore and the prompt “Enemies to lovers” i hate u

Word Count: 4,313

"What, really?! I get to work on the BTS article?!" You cry in excitement at the team meeting.

Your editor winces at the volume of your exclamation, "Yes, is that okay?"

"Okay?" You repeat in surprise, "It's amazing! I was such a fan of them back when I was a student! Wow, this makes me feel so nostalgic."

Minyoung, the fashion contributor, snickers at your reaction, "Careful, Miss ___. Your bias is showing."

"What?" you turn to her in confusion, "How did you know my bias was Min Yoongi?"

Seunghoon is rubbing his temples at this point, "Is it safe to give you this assignment?"

"Yes, of course!" You quickly say, fearful that the editor might change his mind, "Am I interviewing the members for their newest album last year?"

"No, that's already old news," Seunghoon says, "Let's do something a bit different."

"Oh… Maybe we can do a fashion analysis, then?" you suggest, "Their styles have been so popular amongst students these days. The Gucci glasses that V was wearing in their newest vlive was sold out in hours!"

"Yes, but they're always interviewed about their fashion tastes in a group… I think it might be more interesting to conduct a personal, in-depth interview with a single member."

"Suga just released his second mixtape…" you subtly, not-so-subtly, hint.

"What? Oh, that's nice. But I'm more interested in their maknae. How would you like to write an exposition on Jeon Jungkook?"

"Jungkook?" You repeat in surprise. You know very little about the youngest member of the group, "I mean… I guess that's fine?"

"Great!" Seunghoon beams, "I'll forward you his company's contact information and you guys can setting up a meeting for this week."

"Oh… okay…"

It's been a while since you've followed BTS. They blew up in popularity in 2016, but you only really obsessed over them before 2015, when you were still a clueless, happy-go-lucky university student with lots of time to slack off and no real stresses. Adulthood has drained you of all your time and passions, and replaced them with responsibilities and taxes.

Back when you first loved them, they had just debuted as a rookie band and Min Yoongi had caught your attention at once. You had been so enthralled by the fiery rapper that you didn't have eyes for anyone else. All you knew about Jeon Jungkook was that he was the cute, talented maknae who a bit too well-loved by the other members. It's a bit perplexing why the editor chose him to be featured in a fashion magazine adhering to women in their 20's and 30's, but as a junior writer, you really can't complain. You've worked your ass off for two long years just to post columns, and you'll jump on this chance for a rare full editorial opportunity.

So you contact BigHit's publicity manager as soon as you can to set up a meeting with the young idol in the company's café that Saturday evening.

It takes you and the photographer quite some time to get through multiple rounds of security at the BigHit building. First, there's the security guard who won't let you in until you call the BigHit PR manager to fetch you. Then, you have to show multiple forms of identification, including your driver's license, which the security guard squints at for over five minutes until you recreate the same dazed expression in your photo to assure him that it's actually you. And then comes the metal detectors and the pat down that leaves you feeling very violated—especially when your snacks are confiscated.

But finally, finally you are escorted into a café in the company's front office. It's a cozy spot, unable to seat more than a handful of people, and clearly designed to just supply the idols with coffee on the go instead of any real socializing opportunities. Still, it's big enough for your photographer to set up the lights and his tripod, and it's so rare to be allowed a peek into the infamously secretive building that you really can't bring yourself to mind.

You're still helping the photographer tinker with the perfect lighting when a broad young man swings by with two coffees in hand.

"Hi, are you Reporter ___?"

You look up, surprised, but privately pleased by the name, "Yes, that is me."

"Ah, great. I didn't know what you wanted, so I ordered you an iced Americano. It's pretty hot out today and the coffee here is fresh."

You accept the coffee with a bow, then turn to assess the man for the first time. He's unbelievably good-looking with strong, masculine features and wide brown eyes. Even when dressed in a simple outfit of ripped jeans and a plain white tee, you can tell that he's ripped. His forearms bulge in the act of simply handing over your coffee. You unconsciously lick your lips, "Thank you so much." Damn. Even the managers at BigHit are ridiculously attractive. If you didn't know any better, you'd have thought him to be a celebrity of some sort. An athlete maybe? His thighs are certainly thick enough to belong to any soccer player. Maybe you'll loiter around after the interview to collect a phone number… "This is delicious," your voice drips with innuendo as you wrap your lips around the straw and take a deep draw of your drink.

His mouth curves into a blinding smile in response, "I'm glad! Is the lighting okay, Miss? Should we get started soon?"

You turn to look at your photographer, who gives you a thumb's up. Then you turn back to the manager, wreathed in smiles, "Yes, we're all ready," you purr, coyly reaching over to rest a hand on his arm, "Thank you so much for all of your work."

His brow furrows briefly before he smiles again, "Great! Then where should I sit?"

You blink, confused by the question for a second before you collect yourself, "Oh… Um… what about across the room at that booth? You can easily monitor the conversation from over there!"

A frown has completely replaced the smile on his handsome face, "Wait, what do you—?"

"Ah, there you are, Jungkook!"

Both of you turn sharply to find an enormous, hulk-like man standing in front of you, lanyard around his neck identifying him as a BigHit staff member. Bewildered as to who he could possibly be addressing, you glance over your shoulder, but there's no one else there.

The tall man stops to wipe down his smudged spectacles before continuing, "Oh, you already delivered the coffees. Great, but let the makeup-noonas touch you up first, okay?"

"Ah, it's just an interview, Sejin-hyung," the younger man complains, "No one's going to see my face."

"But there's a mini photoshoot afterwards," the tall man who must be Sejin, says, gesturing to the camera, "We can't have you looking like a slob. You're Jungkook of BTS, after all!"

Your blood freezes to ice in your veins as you slowly turn to assess the younger man you had mistaken as a BTS manager… There is no way this chiseled god of a man can possibly be Jeon Jungkook, the cute, shy little bunny you remember from your ARMY days in college. He has grown half a head and packed on so much muscle that you can't imagine how much tailoring the poor stylists had to do to fit him in his clothes. Your mouth dries.

"J-jeon Jungkook?"

He beams at you, "Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself! I'm Bangtan's youngest member, Jeon Jungkook. Nice to meet you, Reporter ___."

You stare at his outstretched hand for a second too long before you finally take it, "A-ah, hi. Nice to meet you too." His hand is large and his skin too-pleasantly warm against yours. You swallow tightly and slip your hand out of his before he can shake your hand properly, "Why don't we sit down and get started?"

It's hard to tell at first how this grown ass man who practically exudes testosterone could possibly be the scrawny, puppy-like kid who was every fangirl's ideal son? It's been over seven years since their debut, so he's now… twenty-three? Twenty-four? It's ridiculous and beyond unfair that a young man in his early twenties can look so good.

But as the minutes roll by and the two of you delve deep into his aspirations as a musician, aspects of the teenage Jeon Jungkook you used to cherish so much begin to come out. The way his face lights up when he's talking about his solo performances, and how his smile widens so much that his eyes scrunch up to familiar crescent-moon shapes. Ah, here's your precious bunny son who you love so much. His warmth and contagious positivity has you loosening up and you find yourself truly enjoying your conversation with him.

By the time you walk out of the interview an hour later, you're feeling really great about yourself. The conversation about his musical inspirations was so interesting that you're positive that the newest issue of the magazine will spike in sales. Maybe you'll be able to escape the gossip column for good. They'll have to make you a permanent writer after this!

You're humming to yourself even after you thank Jungkook and send him off, then immediately rush to email your editor the recording of the interview. You're in the process of helping the cameraman clean up when you suddenly receive a phone call from Seunghoon.

"Good evening, Mr. Park," you chime cheerfully when you pick up the call. You're still so pleased with yourself that you can't keep the syrupy sweetness out of your tone.

"What the hell was that?" Seunghoon barks back, abruptly knocking you out of your airy mood.

"Wait… what? What's wrong?"

"Your interview," he huffs, "I just took a listen to it, and it's garbage! What were you thinking?!"

"I-I," you stammer, ego instantly deflating under this abuse, "I didn't think it was that bad…"

"Why the hell were you talking about musical theory nonsense for a whole damn hour?" he spits out, "I thought I would die, I was so bored."

Your face flushes at the insult, "I… I thought it was pretty interesting, sir."

He snorts on the other end, "Are you forgetting that we're a fashion and lifestyle magazine, Miss ___? Young women don't care about Mozart or piano scales or whatever BS you were talking about. That shit doesn't sell. But do you know what does sell? Sex."

"S-sex?" you repeat in astonishment.

"That's right—sex. These boys have been so uptight with revealing any aspects of their personal lives. It's been seven years, and there hasn't been a single scandal with these kids—no dating rumors, no drunken incidents, nothing. Can you even imagine how a sex scandal with Korea's favorite maknae would blow up?!"

"I didn't think of that…" you quietly admit, "But, sir, if their image has been so spotless all these years, what makes you think that they'd slip up and admit something?"

"I don't know," he growls, "But this is one of the first times they've allowed reporters in the building. You should've tried something!"

"Like what?!" you sigh in exasperation.

"You're a moderately attractive young woman. You should've thought of something."

"What?"

"Use your womanly wiles or something," he scoffs, "Well, it's too late now. Just go home and think about what you've done."

"I—sir, you're being really unreasonable right now!" you exclaim, only to realize that Seunghoon has already hung up on you. You slam your phone on the table and bury your face in your hands with a strangled scream.

"Why are we stopping here?" the cameraman asks as you pause by a small, dingy bar on the way back to the car.

"I need a drink," is your blunt response as you grab him by the elbow and drag him in.

The older man shifts awkwardly from foot to foot as you grab a few menus and pull him into the nearest empty booth, "___, I have to get back to my family tonight. The kids need to be tucked in."

"I know, Kikhyun," you sigh as you massage your aching temples, "Let me just chug one shot and order some snacks and I'll be fine, okay?"

Still, he hesitates, "___..."

"Fine!" you exclaim as you jump to your feet, "I'll go get everything to go. Geez, you drive a hard bargain," you complain as you rush up to the counter to order.

The part-timer behind the cash register shoots you the most irritated look when you come up to him, "I'm about to leave for the night," he informs you as he pulls off his apron and slams it on the table.

"Oh, can you wait just five minutes? I just want to order one thing to go."

"Go find the owner of this place," he growls before exiting from behind the counter.

"Wait, sir!" You call after him, but he's already gone. Sighing, you have no choice but to wander around the mostly deserted little bar. There's no one wearing an identifiable employee's apron, so you venture to the second floor instead. This part of the bar is more sparsely furnished—only a handful of secluded booths in strange nooks and corners partially illuminated by bare light bulbs hanging from the ceiling. Smoke curls in the shadowed room, obscuring your vision as you frantically search for an employee.

There's a group of old men smoking and sipping soju in the booth near the staircase, and a cuddly couple in the back corner. But besides those people, you don't see anyone else. You just want your goddamn chicken so you can go home already. Why does this have to be so hard?

"Excuse me, sir, do you know where—"

But they ignore you to nosily cheer and swallow another round of shots. You bite your tongue, frustrated, and move towards the young couple in the very back instead. They're so invested in themselves, the young man whispering (probably filthy) nonsense in the woman's ear, and his hand inching up her skirt as she giggles nervously. You want to roll your eyes at the excessive PDA. Kids these days…

"Hey, you guys. Have you seen the…?" your voice trails off when you identify the young man in the booth. He's wearing a cap to shadow his face and a face mask, but you'd recognize that broad figure and those large brown eyes anywhere.

It's Jeon Jungkook… And he has his hand up some random girl's skirt.

You stand there in the middle of the hall for a few seconds, unable to do anything but gape at him with your jaw dropped to the floor. Could this possibly be the sweet, considerate musician you met with just two hours ago? The one who raved about learning to play the drums and showed you a clip of the new song he was producing? Could that really be the same person as the fuckboy feeling up the blushing girl in a dingy bar right now?

Do you know what does sell? Sex.

Knocked out of your dazed disbelief by your editor's voice in your head, you quickly scramble for the phone in your bag. Your shaky hands somehow manage to punch in the password. Your thumbs are slippery with sweat as you try to open up the camera app. One of the most beloved idols in all of South Korea, caught cozying up with an unknown female companion in a bar.

This will make Seunghoon so happy. You'll probably get a permanent position as a reporter. You'll never have to write another column about flavored lubes again!

Giddy with excitement, you zoom in with the camera until you catch a clear shot of Jungkook's face. Then you press the button to capture the shot—

Click!

Your whole body goes rigid as the sound of your camera's shutter echoes throughout the deserted restaurant. For one crippling second, you pray that Jungkook hasn't heard the click. That you can escape this situation unscathed and get showered with praise by Seunghoon in the office the next morning. You're just about to turn and run for your life when Jungkook suddenly looks up, his eyes meeting yours from across the room.

You freeze, eyes wide like a deer caught in the headlights, but there's nothing you can do. There's no mistaking the camera in your hand pointed straight at him.

"Reporter ___?"

Your face drains of all color. Then you're turning to bolt down the stairs as fast as your feet will carry you. You make it almost to the bottom rung of the staircase, so close that you can practically taste your freedom, when a strong hand abruptly shoots out to grab you by the elbow and forcibly yank you back.

You squeeze out a shriek of surprise before Jeon Jungkook spins you around to shove you against the wall, "I didn't realize you were following me from the office, Reporter ___," he murmurs in a deceptively soft voice, shoving down his face mask so he can speak more clearly.

"I-I swear I wasn't," you hurriedly rush to defend yourself, "I just wanted to grab a snack—I had no idea you'd be here!"

"Mmm, is that so? Then how come you were so rudely snapping a picture of me without my permission? You weren't thinking of posting it, were you?"

You hesitate at that, unwilling to lie to his face, but also fearful of the strange aggression that has overtaken the seemingly docile younger man, "Can you please let go of me?" you politely ask, "It's rather uncomfortable to have this conversation in this environment."

Jungkook smiles at that, making his teeth flash in the darkness of stairwell. But to your surprise, he suddenly jerks his hips forward, effectively pinning you against the wall by your connected pelvises, "I'd hate to make you uncomfortable," he purrs, the hand that slowly travels up the length of your bare arm contradicting his words, "But I'm afraid you might try to run off before we finish our conversation."

You try your best not to show any signs of weakness as you hold your ground, "I'm not deleting the picture, Mr. Jeon."

Jungkook sighs deeply, his face laden with faux disappointment, "I thought you'd say that, Reporter ___. It must be important to your career, hmm?"

You eye him warily as you try to assess his strategy, "Sex sells, Mr. Jeon. I hate to put you in this position… But maybe you shouldn't be sneaking around with girls in the first place."

"I'm just a human man," he says, lips forming a cute pout of protest, "Asking me to be celibate and chaste for the rest of my life to keep the fangirls happy… Isn't that too much?"

"Yes, of course," you cautiously agree, "Idols are human too, they have their needs. But maybe you should come clean to your fans instead of pretending to be chaste while sneaking around behind their backs."

"Do you really think the fans would understand?" he snorts, "I don't think you understand how petty and jealous some of them can be. No, it's better for both parties if no one finds out."

"But it wasn't difficult for me to catch you in the act," you point out, "Wouldn't it be worse if it was a fan who caught you instead? Maybe this is a better way of revealing your secret to the public."

"If it was a girlfriend, I would understand. But being caught in a scandal with a random girl… That would be mean to report, don't you think?"

His face is so close to yours, warm breath fanning the side of your sensitive neck and lips mere inches from yours, that your brain feels fuzzy from his intoxicating proximity. You blink several times to try to collect your wits and prevent your descent into mindless lust. "I… I just… you should've been more careful," you stutter, trying to ignore how nice his lithe body feels pressed against yours. This is every fangirl's ultimate fantasy to be pressed up against the wall by BTS like this. It feels like you're dreaming.

"You don't know how hard it is," he says, his voice dripping with innuendo as he slowly presses a hand against the wall next to your head to cage you in further, "I've been expected to be on my best behavior since I was fifteen years old," he sighs, "No girls, no dates, nothing. And after seven whole years of hard work, don't you think I deserve a break?"

"O-of course you do," you stammer, shakily wiping at your sweaty brow, "You're all young men with hormones and needs. But—"

"But what?" he interrupts, "Do all my years of hard work deserve to go down the drain just because I was taking care of a physical need? You don't know what it's like," he whispers, his voice suddenly so soft that you have to crane your head to hear him, "You don't understand… you don't understand how frustrating it is. I get so hard that it physically hurts and I feel like I might explode. And all I can think about is a female companion to ease my pain… Just an hour is enough… Especially if she's as pretty as you, noona."

All the blood in your body shoots to your face at the unexpected honorific that slips past his slick lips. You're vaguely aware that you're gaping at him, eyes as wide as saucers and jaw hanging, but you can't control your shock. Never in a million years would you have expected such filthy shit to be coming from BTS's precious golden maknae… Especially not with his hand sliding up your shoulder to caress your collarbones and the length of your neck in such a hungry, predatory fashion that you almost expect him to choke you.

At this point, you can't tell if you'd like that or not.

"Mr. Jeon, I—"

"Jungkook," he corrects in a husky voice that sends heat straight to your core, "Please call me Jungkook, noona."

"I…" you swallow the excess saliva in your mouth and reluctantly agree, doing everything you can to appease him so that you can escape from this situation, "Ok… ok, Jungkook."

He brightens at this, mouth curling into a self-satisfied smirk, "That sounds so good coming from your pretty little lips." He leans in at that moment, making you flinch in shock, hand darting up to press protectively against your mouth, but to your relief, he's only reaching for the phone gripped tightly in your hand. "Can you please unlock this for me, noona?"

You wordlessly obey, thumb punching in the passcode before you can catch your mistake, "Jungkook... what are you doing?"

"Putting in my number of course," he laughs, showing you the screen where he's entering in his information, "So you can contact me whenever you like… Oh, and I'm going to delete this picture, by the way," he says, scrolling to your gallery next to select the stalkerish photo of him feeling up the girl in the booth, "It'll just save us both a headache," he says with a wink.

You should stop him. You really should. This is straight up coercion and you shouldn't let him manipulate you this way. But it's hard to think, much less act, when his strong chest is pressed against yours, squeezing all the oxygen from your lungs.

"Jungkook!" You exclaim, eyes bulging in shock when you feel his hand dart from the curve of your neck down to your backside.

He simply laughs, "I'm just returning your phone, that's all, noona."

You swallow tightly as you feel him slip the slender device into your back pocket. Then, with one last swat to your ass that makes you squeak, he pulls back. As soon as there is space between your bodies, you slump against the wall, suddenly winded and gasping for air.

Amused by your disheveled appearance, Jungkook teasingly ruffles your hair before stepping away, "I'll see you around, Reporter ___."

By the time you get back to the cameraman, he's worried beyond belief, "What took you so long, ___?"

You numbly shrug your shoulders as you walk past him, "Just a run in with someone I knew…"

Kikyun's confused as he jogs after you, "Wait, what about your snacks?"

You shake your head, "Suddenly, I'm not so hungry…"

Bewildered by your strange behavior, your colleague has no choice but to follow you back to the car.

Later that night, after the longest, hottest shower of your life, you sit in a fluffy bathrobe on top of your bed, laptop opened in front of you as you ponder the strange occurrences of the day.

Jeon Jungkook, the beloved maknae of BTS, just hustled you. He seduced you, overwhelming you with his sheer presence, then manipulated you. All it took were a few words dripped in honey, and he had you eating out of the palm of his hand like a dog.

Your blood boils with indignation. How could you have been so easily exploited? You're a grown ass woman with a college degree, not some silly love-struck teenager who thinks her "oppas" can't do no wrong.

And so you shift your gaze back to the image blown up across your computer screen. It's a bit blurry, but Jungkook's face under his cap is as clear as day. And no one could mistaken the hand up his female companion's skirt as anything virtuous.

That silly little maknae hustler. Does he not realize how iCloud works in this day and age? A slow smile spreads across your face as you contemplate what to do with your new discovery. It's like the winning ticket to a powerball jackpot. And only you can cash it in.

Author’s Note: I wrote this for my follow forever drabble game. 

Please be understanding and stop asking me about updates :) 

[just-be-joyful]

[TRANS] The JBJ You Really Wanted Vol. 2 (Interview)

It’s a life beyond borders. The fan created group JBJ’s story to bring joy to the world starts now. 

Noh Taehyun+Kim Donghan

W Korea JBJ is a group that was created because viewers of “Produce 101″ wanted it to. How did you feel when you first heard there was this request?

Donghan: I was surprised. During the program, I thought there weren’t a lot of people who knew about me, so I was lucky to get into this combination. I had a lot of same-aged friends, but in this team, they seemed to be going fore more matured friends who aren’t like my 20 year old peers. 

Taehyun: Everyone participated in this program wishing to pass the final round. In the end, we sadly all got eliminated, but I’m grateful that our dream of debuting came true another way. 

W Korea The both of you are the members whose strength is dancing. What would you say about the other’s dancing style?

Taehyun: We are all stilll learning and even if I have a lot of experience (laughs)... Donghan knows a lot of K-Pop. So he seems to be able to express it different and more freely than a person who’s only danced a lot. His gestures and expressions are closer to a singer than a dancer. Because I was only a dancer first before I came into K-Pop, Donghan looks really cool to me when he’s dancing and showing expressions like an actor. We were on the same team for “Shape Of You”, and even if it wasn’t seen on the broadcast, he also actively gave ideas.

Donghan: Taehyun hyung left a really strong impression with his krumping, so I thought his urban dancing would be sharp as well, but he was surprisingly smooth. He is someone who is really fierce but can also dance softly, so he can show opposite charms. Makes you fall in love a little. But really only a little. (laughs) 

W Korea Taehyun is the eldest in the team. How are you leading the other members? 

Taehyun: It’s a little hard to organize the group because they have so much energy. We’re filming a reality program to show our dorm life and there’s always two stories going on at the same time (laughs).

W Korea Are there strill friends amont the contestants from “Produce 101″ that you keep in touch with?

Donghan: With MXM’s Donghyun, who’s debuting at the moment. Since there are so many outstanding sunbaenims having comebacks in September, I exchanged some worried messages with him. He seems to be really nervous. 

W Korea How are you preparing for JBJ’s debut? Is it a burden or is it better to have more members?

Taehyun: As much as it’s a team the fans wanted, we’re also paying attention to doing things our way. There are a lot of comebacks in September, but I think of us being in another league from our famous sunbaenims. Since we’re rookies, it’s best to just show what each of us is good at. I think we can start out happily. There is some burden, but since we’re doing well, I think we should just take in everything. 

W Korea Taehyun has already debuted as “HotShot” before. Is there something you want to accomplish as JBJ that you couldn’t do then?

Taehyun: I’m already doing these things one by one. Things like reality shows and photo shootings that you can only do when you’re a rookie. Setting up a stage for a music broadcast, having two stages there... I want to do things like these as well. That doesn’t seem like an opportuinty that’s given to everyone. I also know that I have to cherish and be careful not to miss out on the recognition that we’re receiving right now. Not everyone is that lucky.

Takada Kenta+Kim Yongguk

W Korea What feature do you think the JBJ members have in common that unites them in this team?

Yongguk: I think if these members debut with a fresh and cute song, it doesn’t fit into the picture. But if we’re doing a sexy song, I think it fits perfectly. 

W Korea How’s the relationship between the members right now?

Yongguk: When members from different companies suddenly become a team, it could be hard to become friends just like that and it could feel uncomfortable. But since we all did “Produce 101″ and went through hardships together, it seems like we already got close. 

Kenta: I really like that I’m in the same team with my friends and my hyung, who all have been dreaming the same dream and working hard with me for the last 4 months. 

W Korea After the program enden, Yongguk was active with the unit “Longguo & Shihyun”. What was that like?

Yongguk: I was less satisfied than I thought. After all, it makes a singer proud if the song ranks high, but it didn’t do well on the charts. It’s also a pity that we weren’t active for long.

W Korea We heard that JBJ will be active together for 7 months from now on. 

Kenta: It’s been exactly 7 months since the first recording of “Produce 101″. When I think of our time like that, it seems to be passing way too fast, so I want to really enjoy everything one by one. I practiced alone for a year, and now there’s suddenly a lot of people around me. 

Yongguk: For me, it actually felt long. It was unfamiliar being on broadcast, and after the release I was depressed for some weeks. I also made my debut as a unit and now I’m preparing for my debut with JBJ. I really had a lot of work to do. 

W Korea: Kenta made his dream come true to come all the way from Japan to Korea because he likes Korean idols. If there’s someone who wants to be an idol, what would you tell them? 

Kenta: I want to tell them, that there’s nothing they can’t do, if they don’t give up, even if a lot of time passes. If you really want to do it, hard work even becomes great experience. 

W Korea What was the hardest time during your trainee days?

Yongguk: It was so hard that I quit everything two years ago, went back home and only stayed in my room. Three months I locked myself in and only played games. Sometimes my friends called and I went out to drink. Everyone went to college, found work and went their own ways, but I only wanted one thing. It took about a month to pull myself together and start again. Looking back now, I regret wasting about a year.

W Korea You can suffer through a slump anytime, but it’s an experience that can help you on the long run. As the two of you are foreigners, there must be things you’re unfamiliar with in Korean culture. 

Kenta: Recently, when we moved to our dorm, I ordered Jajjangmyeon. We don’t have that in Japan. I also learned the expression “to get bitten by a mosquito”. 

Yongguk: In China, they deliver something to you even if you order it at your local convenience store, that’s different.

W Korea As you will be doing various activities, is there a senior musician you want to do a performance with?

Yongguk: I really want to do a duet together with Crush sunbaenim. I listen to songs like “Sometimes” and “Fall” the most and I also practiced following his style. Cursh sunbaenim, if you happen to see this, please remember me.

Kenta: Because I like Teen Top’s Ricky sunbaenim so much, I came all the way to Korea. Recently, we even learned short track together on the variety show “We’re Also National Athletes”, so it would be really nice if next time, we could stand on stage and do music together.

Source: WKorea Trans: just-be-joyful take out with full credits!

[mfmagazine]

Anoop Desai

Article by Diane Walsh

Photo by JSquared Photography

Anoop Desei placed 6th on American Idol and has shown himself to be well loved by listeners around the world. Established now in Los Angeles and becoming a favorite new vocalist among young adults both here and in Europe and in Asia, he was born in North Carolina.  Of east-Indian origin, Anoop’s speciality is in his ability to blend a cool ‘eastern sound’ with his love of R&B -- bringing his own interpretation of Indian music to the mainstream music scene.  

What’s inspired the overall compositions for your debut album, ‘All is Fair’?

I wanted to write an album of songs that reached me emotionally first and formost. I put a lot of myself and my own experiences into this music because I want it to really touch people. I want people to hear it and say, "Man, I've been there." I want to be on people's running playlists. I want to be on people's chill playlists. Basically I set out to make music that other people would want to write if they had the outlet.

You seem to have an affinity for a pop and R&B blend - of music.  Had did this evolve over your life? Life experiences, role models, etc.

I've always loved pop and R&B music- I love hooks and I love impressive vocal performances. You always try to emulate the music you love, so for me, I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I love when someone says, "I love singing along to your songs!" That's always the goal.

Mixed in there, in your music, is this great Indian musical sound.  Can you tell us how the music differs in the number of beats and how cool it is that you’re mixing the two East-West sounds?

It's really all about feel. But yeah, I love the Indian sound, and I grew up with both that and this very pop, R&B sound on the radio. I've tried to meld them on a number of tracks without beating the listener over the head with it.

Your first single, "All Is Fair (Crazy Love)” -- you wrote with David Mikush. How did that come together?  

Well, David is my best friend, so it came together pretty organically. We were sitting there on Gchat one day and started throwing some ideas around. What came out is "All is Fair (Crazy Love)". Really proud of that song, and really happy that it came about like that between two friends.

I’ve read that you had complete control, from writing to release.  How does this differ from so many of the other stars  who don’t necessarily write their own stuff?  Not to say that they don't or that their talent is limited by it at all. I'm an independent artist, so a lot of that control is a necessity. I don't have an A&R team or a label telling me what to do. Part of that is really nice-- to be able to really put out what you love. And at the same time, I would love to have that kind of backing with my music, to really promote it and have it affect people like the songs that these major pop icons sing. I'm working hard to get there.

The album debuted 14 on the pop iTunes Chart. How does that make you feel?

Tremendous. It's a testament to my fans really. I've always said this, and it's true: I have some of the most engaged, smartest, and most dedicated fans in the world.

Have you been influenced musically by Ravi Shankar?  

I wouldn't say influenced, but I'm definitely very familiar with his work. Classical Indian music takes me to a special place, so I always love listening to him.

Any chance of joining up with Norah Jones for a singing duo?

That would awesome. Nothing in the plans just yet, but you never know!

What did it feel like to be on American Idol? You were “the first ever 13th finalist from first-generation Indian-American“, quoted in media reports. Overall, you ranked 6th, which is excellent, considering the competition.  What do you make of the whole experience now?

It was an amazing experience and the best platform I can imagine. You can't buy that sort of exposure. At this stage, I think of it as a great first step.

Do you feel your life has been different being an only child?

Yes, definitely. It's a two way street, though. Love and encouragement yes, but under a microscope as well. In a weird way, being an only child has always forced me to push myself harder than my parents ever have. I didn't have a sibling to compete with or be compared to, so I always looked to my friends and schoolmates. I pretty often took it on my own shoulders to be the best because I knew that I would always be validated in my parents' eyes. It wasn't about that. It was about proving to myself that I could do anything with the best of them.

Born in Cary, NC of very impressive parents, talent certainly shows early on in CentralXpress TV children’s show and the rest is history! Was this the beginning of everything in your mind‘s eye?

Wow, bringing out the old stuff! The beginning for me was really in college when I was part of an a cappella group called the Clef Hangers. I never thought of myself as a great singer until I got to this huge community and people kept going crazy over me singing. It was an ego boost that I needed. As a shy kid, I needed that sort of push to finally tell myself that I could make it as a singer.

How did that shape you as an artist?

The group really taught me how to perform on stage and how to adapt to different styles of music. I would still say that the Clefs allowed me to be a better studio musician than I ever could have been without it. It taught me so much about vocal harmony, what makes great pop music, and how to get that across in the booth.

You graduate from UNC in 2008 with a Bachelor of Arts degree, double majoring in Political Science and American Studies. And, then, in the midst of a cultural anthropology MA at UNC in Folklore -- boom -- eighth season of American Idol changes your life….something along those lines?  

Well it was very sudden. A friend of mine and I went to audition for American Idol in Kansas City the summer after we graduated from college, and it just...sort of happened. I was constantly taking breaks from graduate school that first semester to fly out to LA and compete, and eventually I couldn't do it anymore. I went into my professors' offices and said "Listen, I'm not finishing the semester. I'm on American Idol." The greatest response I got was, "Hey, you can't be making that up, so good luck!"

Celebrities such as Ellen DeGeneres and Keith Urban were big fans of yours during the show.  

It's just such an eye-opening experience when you're this kid sitting at home after an audition, and suddenly you read that celebrities love your voice. I can't put it into words. It feels like you're in the twilight zone.

I read you idolize Boyz II Men and Michael Jackson.  Who are some of your other influences?

I'm actually really into Brit-Rock. Oasis, Keane, Starsailor, Coldplay, etc. I love the musical sensibility of that sound.

You also find time to do charity work. Tell us about Room to Read and your desire to build more libraries in the developing world. How did this passion evolve?

I realize that I've been dealt an insanely good hand in life. I think it's a shame when people don't take the time to realize that most of the world doesn't have access to the most basic things. I count education as one of those things that no child should be without. Education opens all doors in my mind, and so I've taken it as a personal cause to help spread literacy and education around the developing world and to my community.

[flauntpage]

Rashad McCants is Trying to Write a BIG3 Redemption Story

When Rashad McCants arrived in Las Vegas in late April, he wasn't all that interested in the gambling, the clubs, or the social scene. He was determined to prove he could still play basketball at a high level.

Along with a number of other former NBA players, McCants was there to participate in a tryout for the BIG3, a new three-on-three summer league founded by rapper/actor Ice Cube that begins play this weekend in Brooklyn; games mostly will be broadcast on FOX Sports 1. McCants was there to play, but not just for that. He wanted to show off his skills, and maybe regain some of the nascent star power he enjoyed at his fleeting peak.

McCants was a McDonald's All-American in high school, an NCAA tournament champion at the University of North Carolina, and a first-round pick in the 2005 NBA Draft. He's best known today for washing out of the NBA after four seasons and for his pariah status at his alma mater. In 2014, McCants told ESPN that he didn't write his own papers and took bogus classes while playing at North Carolina. The school is currently under NCAA investigation for academic fraud, but others have denied McCants' claims, labeling him a malcontent.

While McCants' reputation took a hit in NBA and college circles, he continued to stay in shape and play overseas. Now 32 years old, the 6-foot-4 shooting guard demonstrated in Las Vegas a few weeks ago that he's still an effective player. A team called "Trilogy" selected McCants with the first overall pick in the BIG3 draft; Trilogy co-captains Kenyon Martin and Al Harrington chose McCants ahead of ex-NBA veterans such as Reggie Evans, Kwame Brown, DeShawn Stevenson, Larry Hughes, and many others.

"I wasn't surprised at all, honestly," McCants told VICE Sports. "I prepared six, seven months prior for the opportunity. When you're thinking about me and who I am, my confidence has definitely always been ahead of my time. I just knew that I just needed to go out there, be in shape, and everything else will handle itself."

McCants will compete in his first BIG3 game on Sunday, when the traveling league debuts at Barclays Center. From there, games will take place each of the next nine Sundays in various U.S. cities, culminating with a championship on Aug. 26 in Las Vegas that will be televised on FOX. The other games will be broadcast on tape-delay on FS1 on Monday nights. The halfcourt games will be played to 60 points, and teams have to win by two.

McCants doesn't believe that playing well will help him get a NBA training camp invitation.

"It's been seven years, man, and I haven't gotten a call from anybody in that time," he said. "I'm not looking to get a call now. I'm just focused on helping this league expand and helping other players know that it's a league that could be beneficial for their careers."

While he's under no illusions about whether he'll get the chance, McCants still believes he could make an impact for an NBA franchise. When he looks around the BIG3's talent pool, he believes that he's not alone in that regard.

"I've always been prepared to play in the NBA," he said. "If you look at the Finals and you look at the talent that's out there, there's definitely a spot for somebody like me, there's a spot for somebody like Stephen Jackson, Chauncey Billups, and a whole bunch of guys that are in the BIG3."

By most accounts, the abbreviated nature of McCants' NBA tenure had more to do with his perceived personality quirks than his talent, which few people have ever questioned. Coming out of high school, he was a consensus top-10 recruit in a class that included future NBA All-Stars Carmelo Anthony, Chris Bosh, and Amar'e Stoudemire. At North Carolina, McCants led the Tar Heels in scoring as a freshman and sophomore and was the second-leading scorer as a junior on a loaded team that won the 2005 national title and produced four first round NBA draft picks. He finished his three-year career averaging 17.6 points per game, shooting better than 48 percent from the field and making more than 41 percent of his three-pointers.

Even in college, though, McCants dealt with questions about his attitude and aloofness. During a local television interview in October 2004, he compared his time at North Carolina to serving a jail sentence because of the regimented schedule he had to follow. He apologized for the comments a few days later. The next month, he appeared on the cover of Sports Illustrated's college basketball preview issue with the tagline "Mystery Man." The article detailed how even teammates were perplexed by McCants's moodiness and noted that then-Oklahoma coach Kelvin Sampson cut McCants from the U.S. junior national team despite believing that he was the top player at a training camp.

"Rashad was our best shooter, our best post-up player, our best creator," Sampson told the magazine. "He's a good kid who's going to be a lottery pick. But the area of the game where he'll make his biggest improvements is on teammate issues."

Similar criticisms followed McCants in the NBA. He underwent microfracture surgery on his knee after his rookie season with the Minnesota Timberwolves in June 2006 and only appeared in 37 games the next season. He averaged a career-high 14.9 points per game during the 2007-08 season, but clashed the next season with coach Kevin McHale and was benched for 30 percent of the team's games.

In February 2009, the Timberwolves traded McCants to the Sacramento Kings. He finished the year with the Kings and averaged 10.3 points in only 19.4 minutes per games. "He's a talented guy who played hard," Kevin Love, McCants' teammate in Minnesota, told ESPN in 2010. "But he seemed to have his own agenda. I'm a fan of his as a player, but maybe not so much as a person."

McHale was even more direct about McCants' prospects.

"He has to grow out of his old mentality," McHale told ESPN in the same article. "If he doesn't, he won't play in this league again."

As it turned out, McHale was prophetic. After his short stint with the Kings, McCants became a free agent at age 24 and never again appeared in another NBA game. During the past eight years, he has played in 14 games with the Texas Legends of the NBA Development League, most recently in 2013, and in professional leagues in Venezuela, Lebanon, China, Mexico, and other countries.

In an interview with the Charlotte Observer in May, McCants speculated that his former relationship with Khloe Kardashian might have led teams to question his commitment, saying it cost him $60 million to $70 million. But he was much more diplomatic earlier this month when he spoke about his career with VICE Sports.

"I'm pretty satisfied," McCants said. "I don't think everybody else is satisfied. I think everybody else thinks I should regret. I guess that's the question: should I regret making it to the NBA and averaging 15 points? Maybe I should've averaged 20. It would've given me more of a leeway not to try to keep answering these types of questions. But I feel like I was a success in the NBA. I could've done more, but unfortunately I didn't get the opportunity to do more."

Before he became a persona non grata, McCants was a top scorer for the Tar Heels. Photo by Bob Donnan-USA TODAY Sports

McCants' relationship with North Carolina remains strained, too. Soon after McCants alleged he took phony classes as an undergraduate, the school distanced itself from a player who had a major role in a national title run. McCants has never backed off of his allegations, but it's not something he wants to discuss. "That's not something that I want to really talk about, honestly," he said. "You can ask the next question."

Does McCants still root for the Tar Heels, who won another NCAA tournament championship in April?

"I try to watch them when I can, but I've been so busy with everything else, entertainment-wise." he said. "I don't really get a chance to watch. But I did hear that they won the championship. Congratulations to them."

When McCants isn't playing overseas, he lives in Los Angeles and has dabbled in music, film, and television production. He doesn't have any major entertainment industry credits yet, but he idolizes Will Smith, a rapper turned actor who succeeded in a highly competitive field.

"He's that inspiration to say, 'There's no limitation for what you can do,'" McCants said. "I definitely took it as motivation and just tried to take those opportunities and make the most of them."

McCants also remains involved in basketball, working as a fitness trainer and skills development coach. He said he enjoys teaching, helping young players improve, and discussing what it takes to succeed. Recently, he helped run a camp in Chatsworth, California and spoke to a group of high schoolers.

"He's always talking to kids, always giving them information," said Jamal Lovell, a friend of McCants who trains players with him. "He does a pretty good job of encouraging kids, not being hard on them but just building confidence within them. I think he's done a great job, man, NBA or no NBA. A lot of guys do that stuff because the NBA says you've got to do it. But this is who Rashad is."

When McCants heard about the BIG3, he reached out to Stephen Jackson, an old friend and NBA veteran who's serving as co-captain of the Killer Bees team. Jackson told league commissioner Roger Mason, Jr. that McCants was interested in competing.

On Sunday, McCants's team will face Jackson's in the final game of a quadrupleheader at Barclays Center. McCants's teammates include Martin, Harrington, James White, and Dion Glover, while Jackson's teammates include Billups, Hughes, Reggie Evans, and Brian Cook. That's a lot of NBA experience, and and a lot of pride. All no doubt will be looking to upstage each other. But McCants might have more at stake than anyone else on the floor. He weighs 220 pounds, only eight more pounds than his NBA playing days, and claims he's stronger than ever. He wants to show that he belongs.

"To be able to close a chapter in my career where I can end it on being on a national stage and having everyone see my talent for the last time is a good feeling," McCants said. "It's a good feeling to be able to re-surface and have these interviews because I feel like my voice was kind of taken away from me not playing for seven years. This is an opportunity for me to say how I feel. Say my piece, and end on a positive note."

Rashad McCants is Trying to Write a BIG3 Redemption Story published first on http://ift.tt/2pLTmlv