#no but really though i was pretty notably emotionally neglected pretty much my whole life and physically neglected through middle school

[umbrellahat07]

Similar to the last reblog, another thing that's traumatic but easy to miss is neglect. It's harder to spot the absence of care than the presence of harm. It's easy to brush it off as your parents teaching you responsibility or you being an independent child. But if your parents weren't there for you (physically or emotionally) that is neglect. Not all neglect is being completely ignored, it's more likely your parents were gone at work a lot or asleep most of the time or there but not able to engage with your needs. If for whatever reason they did not make sure your needs were being met, that is neglect. It took me way to long to realize that's a lot of what my problem was.

Folks have got to understand that they probably aren't messed up by some Secret Big Trauma that they just can't remember; but rather by a million tiny microtraumas that they do mostly remember but don't even register as traumatic because nobody actually understood that these things would cause trauma, much less stack on each other over the years.

[some-cookie-crumbz]

Hello 👋🏼, sorry if I’m bothering u but ever since the recent chapters of BNHA I haven’t been able to stop thinking about the Todoroki family. Not many of my friends are into this anime and I just couldn’t stop myself from sharing this with you because I need to let this out.

[SPOILER ALERT 🚨!!! IF U DONT READ THE MANGA THEN U CAN JUST IGNORE THIS]

First of all:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHH!!!!

(I’m still screaming as I write because the backstories RUINED me.)

Poor Touya having this horrible obsession over heroics and having his father acknowledge him but ever since his quirk started reacting against his body the whole family got negatively affected by it.

Rei and Enji wanted to stop at two kids but with Touya’s sudden disadvantage and the latter’s craving for power, Natsuo and later on Shouto was born (the youngest getting titled as the perfect heir from the moment he was born). I got torn seeing Touya’s eyes succumb to absolute madness at the birth of his younger brothers.

What scared me the most was how when it was just Touya and Fuyumi, the two hardly interacted despite being only a year apart in age. Touya claimed that ‘girls just don’t get it’ this small foreshadowing was later brought to light in the most recent chapter where he once again rejects Fuyumi’s company in favour of ranting to only Natsuo and where he disregards his own mother— another ‘girl’ that doesn’t understand his obsession passion for surpassing All Might and someone who plays along to the acts of those stronger than them. Touya saw his mother as a weak person who had no choice but to marry for the sake of her family and have custom children. Little Touya firmly believed his very existence depended on getting acknowledged my his father and defeating All Might but it sadly didn’t come true😭😭

Also..... LOOK AT THE BABIES!!!! They’re all so CUTE!!!

Chubby Fuyumi!!!

Natsuo with a running nose

And Baby Shouto with a meme like face since the day he was born🤣🤣🤣🤣

So ADORABLE!

And another thing. FUYUMI WAS EVEN YOUNGER THAN I THOUGHT TO HAVE STARTED ACTING LIKE A SECOND MOTHER TO HER BROTHERS!! Look at the way she defended Natsuo when Touya went on a rampage and tried to attack Touya! And during moments when Enji and Rei fought the two most notable heroes were Shouto and Fuyumi; the former fighting on the frontlines to face his father while the latter stood behind to once again care for her remaining family that though weren’t involved in the fight, they still needed emotional support to get through it.😭

I AM SO SORRY TO BE GETTING TO THIS SO LATE ANON BUT I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY!!!

TW: Spoilers, Brief Mention of Child Abuse (Physical, Emotional and Mental), General Fandom Wank

So, like, SO MUCH HAPPENED in those chapters and I ABSOLUTELY LOVE ALMOST ALL OF IT! There’s obviously all the things you mentioned above that were just amazing to see and learn! I know that a majority of the fandom has been absolutely livid about the reveals involving Touya being drastically different than what fandom thought they were all this time, but I think it honestly highlights how smart Horikoshi’s writing really is.

In Shoto, we see the effects of physical and mental abuse on a child, and how easily he could have ended up going down a troubling road much like Touya. Shoto’s saving grace is facing off against Deku in the Sports Festival, giving him an outside perspective and makes him realize that he can choose to be better, but that doesn’t just magically fix all of Shoto’s problems. Shoto still struggles with his feelings towards his Father and how he is perceived by simply being Endeavor’s son. We see that in the Provisional License Arc, where Shoto is so thoroughly rattled by Inasa. It’s even further pushed through how Shoto struggles with his feelings about Endeavor trying to better and whether or not he should forgive him. I feel like Shoto’s arc is incredibly strong and that his struggles are very realistic, which is why people love him so much. This whole concept is another thing I could rant about but I’m going to leave it here.

Meanwhile, with Touya, we see the effects of mental and emotional abuse on a child and how it can completely destroy them. I think people that act like Horokoshi “down played” and “ret-conned” Endeavor as a character to make him more sympathetic/ redeemable or that he’s simply writing Touya as “always being a bad seed” are missing the mark. This is, admittedly, something you see a lot when it comes to victims of abuse in the real world as well; the idea that if you weren’t physically or sexually abused on top of emotional or mental abuse, your abuse is somehow less “valid.” Now I’ve seen more voices speaking out against this mentality - which is relieving and positive - but it’s still a problem. The way Touya was abused is no less valid or scarring to himself as a person as what Shoto has been through was. Touya and Enji clearly had a deep bond as father and son. Hell, the fact that Enji is sobbing and saying he “can’t fight his own son” in regards to Touya, but clearly had less issue training Shoto until he got ill or passed out says a lot.

Touya was put on an incredibly high pedestal by Enji’s constant praise and attention. He was the apple of his father’s eye until the limitations of his Quirk were discovered. Enji had filled his head with promises and goals for what his future would be, essentially selling him what turned out to be a lie. We see Rei herself tell Enji that Touya “knows you expect something out of the kids.” Touya’s whole life up until that point was being told of all the great he would someday accomplish, and equating that to being deserving of his Father’s love, attention and affection.

And then he couldn’t live up to that expectation. And then his parents had two more kids following that revelation. The idea that Touya doesn’t realize that Natsuo and Shoto were meant to be his replacements - unbroken models that “deserved” Enji’s love - is clearly not missed by him. It’s evident in the way he looks at Natsuo after he’s born. He sees this as a sign that he is no longer deserving - no longer worthy - of love or support from the parent he absolutely adores.

We see this mostly from Enji and Rei’s perspectives, so we know the reasons they did it, but it’s clear they didn’t stop to think about the way this would be interpreted by Touya himself. This whole matter is only worsened by the fact that Enji refuses to make sacrifices for the sake of his oldest son. He pushes Touya to live a life outside of Pro Heroics while Enji himself refuses to do the same, thus setting a positive example and showing solidarity with his son. He instead pushes him away and distances himself, loses himself in focusing on Natuso and, once his Quirk turns out to not be what he wants, Shoto. Touya continues to push himself despite his limits in a desperate bid for Enji to look at him the way he used to; with pride and love. 

What caused the fire that “killed” Touya? His anguish over being neglected and abandoned - left unloved - by his father yet again. It’s clear that Touya’s mental health is in need of some real focus that he has never gotten - due to both his parents negligence as well as the fact that mental health is highly stigmatized in Japanese society - and pairing that with the emotional and mental abuse he suffered at Enji’s hands broke him.

So many people are claiming Horikoshi is trying to make Enji “more redeemable”, but how do you get that? Enji abused Rei, his own wife, physically and emotionally and mentally until she had a psychotic breakdown, hurt their youngest child, and then robbed her the right to mother her children further by having her locked up in a psych ward for the next decade or so; built their oldest son, Touya, up only to then emotionally and mentally abuse him to the point he damn near killed himself in a frantic bid to garner Enji’s support only to return years later completely unhinged and looking to murder his entire family out of spite; neglected Fuyumi and Natsuo to the care of each other and hired help; alienated Shoto, his youngest son, from his siblings for his entire formative years, physically and mentally and emotionally abused him, groomed him to accomplish a task he never wanted, put him through such extensive physical training that Shoto would get sick or pass out.

Enji was a shitty father. He has a long ass road to continue walking if he ever wants redemption. The fact he didn't physically hit Touya doesn’t mean that Enji didn’t abuse his son and it doesn’t make Touya any less of a victim.

* End TodoFam Rant*

On a slightly lighter note, I also like all the information with Hawks’ past and all the parallels we’re seeing develop!

I’ve rambled briefly about this in other places the Huwumi discord but I want to expound upon this a bit more here.

I feel like Touya/ Dabi and Keigo/ Hawks are meant to be parallels to one another.

Back to back, we had proper name claims by these two characters. We had Dabi reveal his true identity as Todoroki Touya and then we have Hawks choosing to abandon his hero name to instead step up to fight as Takami Keigo.

I feel like “Dabi” was always a mask, of sorts. Dabi is typically pretty calm, cool, composed with the occasional bites of snark and cruelty. Meanwhile, we see Touya emoting and moving in a manner more akin to himself as a child, dancing about in manic delight over revealing his true identity and intentions. The pair of them are two drastically different people when you stop and look at it. “Dabi” was the mask he wore to gain ground to enact his revenge, and now that he is there? Now Touya can burn everything tethered to it down to ground.

Meanwhile, we have "Hawks” as he was forced to become as per the Hero Public Safety Commission. We had it revealed quite a while back that Hawks was a man of many faces, jumping from laid-back and chill to serious and focused quite frequently. “Hawks” is the presentation for the public and the Commission, groomed to be the perfect little canary in the mine that was Pro Heroics. The reveal of his true heritage, however, is not the killing blow Touya wanted it to be. Instead, it allows Keigo, the one who wanted to be a Hero to help people, the chance to truly dedicate himself to that. In being freed from the cage of “Hawks”, he is given the change to really soar as Keigo.

Now, I feel that “Dabi” and “Hawks” are most certainly parts of Touya and Keigo as well, respectively. Even though those titles were masks, they were masks made from parts of the men who wear them. I think what we’ll see going forward is the true elements of those masks bleeding back into the whole, and seeing the truest forms of each character.

For better or for worse. 

[tothedarkdarkseas]

What do you think is the REAL difference between Stu and Murdoc? Is it upbringing, age, personality, or cocktail of things?

I’ve gotta tell you, of all the kind asks you sent (and what a nice thing that was of you to do, thank you, they were fun to ponder!) this is the one I’m like… jittery to answer because there’s just so much to be said. Put under a cut because it ended up kinda stupid-long.

I mean, what has to be determined first is– are Murdoc and Stu that different? I tend to think they’re not, not as much as they are alike. That’s actually what I like best about them and something I usually play to when I can, how much they both resemble a certain stereotype but with their own twist. Many of their differences are a little superficial, like Stu being a bit more geezery with his football and all, and Murdoc being less uptight with his hobbies (be it involving cheeky GTA or a gimp mask.) I joked the other day that the biggest difference between the two is just that Murdoc does uppers and Stu does downers, and that’s pretty much it. I do think on a “deeper” level, like a more innate behavioral level, they’re a lot more similar than they actually realize.

But with all that being said, of course they’re not identical, and there’s a lot that contributes to where exactly they differ. I think that everything you said is absolutely relevant to that!

Let’s start with age and upbringing. The age difference between Murdoc and Stu is actually fairly stark when you just look at the years, but it never feels quite that bad to me because Murdoc and Stu are both so emotionally stunted and immature. There’s a line in Bojack Horseman than I think is incredibly on-point here, about how “the age you are when you get famous is the age you stop growing.” I think for Stu, it absolutely damned him to become famous at around 20, it locked him mentally into an age where he should’ve been learning everything wouldn’t be given to him, and instead it was just… given to him. In excess. If you follow that reasoning Murdoc’s sort of odd though, in that he never actually achieved fame on any major scale until he was in his 30′s. It seems more like Murdoc’s exaggerated sense of self-importance (probably a response to knowing, very much knowing, that he was not in fact something towering and impressive at all, and there’s like… something absurdist in really choosing to think he is. That’s almost the ultimate form of his Humor As A Shield– what could be a bigger joke than not hating himself?! Ha! It’s funny because it’s sad!) set in way before he actually became famous. It’s more like his maturity is stalled at the time he started trying to be famous. Stu didn’t actually try to pursue music at all before, while Murdoc spent a decade absolutely convinced that it had to work and doggedly not accepting when it wasn’t. It feels like these two approaches enabled (or damaged) them in different ways, but both end up with the result of men who don’t act their age for many years and have hedonistic, stereotypically rockstarish ways of living far beyond that of their bandmates. Stu can barely claim he knows better though and is perhaps more… people are gonna yell at me for being so hard on him haha, but more spoiled and therefore more ignorant because he never actually lived a responsible adult life. (Does that mean Stu hasn’t had difficulty in that life? Absolutely not. The man has at least three counts of massive head trauma and was in a coma for an undetermined period of time, he has a permanent physical impairment that likely impacts his vision, I think he’s earned a few perks.) Murdoc on the other hand is very aware of what it was like to be a failure, to be conventionally unemployable, and to have so little to lose that he’d make incredibly stupid decisions that could’ve ended his free life. His indulgence now is frankly more extreme, but Murdoc has an even greater sense of believing he earned that and he owes nothing (whether that’s completely true or not.) 

And that’s just touching on the ends of their “upbringing,” not the actual 18+ years that went into it. It goes without saying that Stu and Murdoc had very different home lives– Rachel and David Pot are suggested to be rather precious with Stu out of some probable guilt for his first head trauma, in complete contrast to Sebastian’s humiliation and neglect– but on top of that, what seems to be glossed over at times is how they grew up in very different regions at very different time periods. I’m far from an authority on this or on anything (as always I really suggest asking @elapsed-spiral if you want better information, don’t let the hiatus thing fool you, Danni’ll still talk about British Shit Innit) but I’m told the British school system Murdoc would’ve endured in the 60s and 70s was unremittingly bleak and damaging to a child’s development. Despite his immaturity and my feelings that their age difference isn’t really so pronounced, Murdoc is older than Stu and unfortunately he experienced a much colder and rougher school environment, and it’s tough to argue that didn’t have an effect. (Though on the flipside, Stu was in school during Section 28, a thing I’m also not an authority on. Go figure a working class and very closeted bisexual man in the 80s might internalize some homophobia! The go-go 80s aren’t all they’re cracked up to be.) It’s not exactly surprising that Murdoc, who grew up on the lowest end of working class, in council housing, in an unglamorous Northern town like Stoke with a neo-fascist brother and a neglectfully-abusive alcoholic father, would come away an emotionally repressed and embittered person. It’s almost a bit bold that Murdoc is as “flamboyant” as he is (even if it comes with a hefty side of toxic masculinity)– he could’ve become hateful in a more stony way, but instead he’s like a giddy-cruel showman out of spite. You can argue that Murdoc’s lack of support system results in him feeling much more unfettered. He has no one to thank for getting him out of that and no one he credits for getting him where is. He very much has the mentality of “I take what I can and do what I want, because the world owes me everything.” And in a way, I can see where that’d come from.

He’s wrong though. Because Stu’s there. And Stu owes Murdoc nothing.

I know I’m really running on here, and I think you probably already have a picture of what I see Stu’s upbringing and childhood as. Rachel Pot is the unsung best character in Gorillaz, Stu was quite coddled by his parents, and Stu admits to being largely unmotivated and rudderless. It’s notable that Stu is in fact also working class but he’s presented like he’s not, I think just as a result of looking a lot better in comparison to Murdoc and us Americans not fully knowing the details of the British class system as compared to ours. (I don’t want to condescend to you anon, you may be British and know all this a lot better than I do. But because I am American, what would be more American than assuming everyone’s American?) I would say Stu’s family places on the higher end of that though (again, council housing for Murdoc, Stu had a garden with what must’ve been a decently big tree for him to fall out of) and isn’t portrayed as struggling in the same way. His job at Norm’s seems more like something he does because he’s not allowed to sit in the house all day, and he likes messing with the keyboards and he likes having spending money because he’s too old for allowance, and girls he’s fooled around with occasionally pop in to his work and bring him a pastry from the Tesco Express she works at and they make out in her car. Stu comes away from Crawley with quite a few “tethers” that disallow him from feeling as “loose” as Murdoc– he has a good relationship with his parents, a handful of mates, probably a handful of girls he wasn’t on bad terms with, at least one who’d end up becoming his girlfriend. So why does he have some of the same “cruel showman” qualities as Murdoc? Why does his entitlement end up looking much the same? That’s all personal interpretation of course, but I’d say it’s because Murdoc drove a car into his face and stole an unspecified amount of time from his life. I’d say because he’s out of his parent’s house for the first time in his life, and he’s going full throttle into being this person now. I’d say that in one night, and many unconscious nights following it, Murdoc smashed that same embittered attitude into the front of Stu’s skull. To be clear, that isn’t writing off Stu’s faults on Murdoc; it isn’t to say Murdoc made him egotistical or promiscuous or immature. But the attitude that you are fucking owed something is really only an attitude they share because Murdoc gave Stu someone to spite where he didn’t have that before.

(I recognize this whole dynamic isn’t for everyone and I do get it, and for what it’s worth I think it’s totally correct to say Murdoc gave Stu all the best things in his life. He just also gave him the worst bits too. The reality is neither would be here without each other, for all the good and bad that implies. It’s true that Stu’s famous because of Murdoc, but it’s also true that Murdoc’s famous because of Stu. What a tangled web!)

I’m sorry, I’m so off the question now, I just love this stuff. So, personality! That’s unquestionably a factor, the answer to the nature vs nurture debate will always be a little bit of both. I think if you tallied up all of Stu and Murdoc’s traits, desires, and behaviors after they’ve been living together a few years, you’d find a longer list in the similarities column than the differences. The environmental influence doesn’t just stop at where you’re raised, I think the environment you live in and the people who inhabit it continue to have an impact on you pretty much throughout life; even if moving to a richer city doesn’t “change” you, it changes the way you look at things, understand things, respond to things. It just inherently does. Still, I recognize that’s my own characterization of them and if you just look at the characters in canon, you’d be hard pressed to say they seem like the same guy. There are things about them that are just innately different, some of it learned through their upbringing and some of it dictated by… the way they’re wired.

Which is a point I’m really hesitant to comment on too much, but– mental health. It probably doesn’t look the same between Stu and Murdoc. There are other blogs who will discuss in more depth their neurodivergent headcanons and I see nothing wrong with that, I don’t really think there is any case that can’t be made, but I’m not especially confident making those cases myself. What I’ll say is that I don’t necessarily read Stu as having any specific learning disorder, because I fear it’s a little… iffy to have so many jokes in canon about him being thick or being slow. I think it really is just that, even prior to the injuries I reckon Stu was “a bit thick.” Head trauma doesn’t help that, though. Lifelong migraines and impaired motor function came about from the brain damage, absolutely, and I do imagine he must’ve suffered some neural response slowing, but his “lower intelligence” I feel a little less comfortable casually ascribing to anything and more to just Stu being Stu. Murdoc is also a case to be careful with, but within phase 3 it seems fair to say Murdoc suffers a psychotic break and is dealing with some delusions. Dangerously, I kind of lean into thinking this isn’t something that “just happened” because of the events of El Mañana and Plastic Beach, and that Murdoc had perhaps needed to be on an anti-psychotic like lithium well before that point. Again, I don’t want to insensitively represent this so I try not to really put such a fine point on things, but… I’m a little inclined to think Murdoc went undiagnosed in his young life and still may be demonstrating some effects of that. So, y’know, make what you will of it, but there’s that.

Sorry I nattered on about this, I do really enjoy examining both characters. Jokes about the drugs and stuff aside, I’ve always felt that the biggest difference between Murdoc and Stu is that Murdoc is adaptable, and Stu is malleable. Where that stems from is probably a combination of all these things. Murdoc knows what he wants and has no loyalties, he’s been without a future, he does what he can to succeed because he’s already done what he can to survive; Stu doesn’t know what he wants and he does have “loyalties,” but he has no sense of purpose, and he’s easily nudged in the direction you need him to go. While he can be stubborn, just like Murdoc, he’s also more sincerely shaped by his experiences even later in life into multiple, sometimes disparate versions of himself– I might even wager that’s why Stu becomes such a contradictory character without any of the contradictions feeling inauthentic. The two of them “being what they need to be” is part of the reason they accomplished as much as they did. But it’s also hard to say that they really “held on” to each other through the years, or if they just melded together in parts.

[hanhan156]

A new fic to my Stadium Tour series

Tumblr has been a pain in the ass for me recently. First, my sideblog’s posts’ tags are not shown in the feed and secondly, my last fic’s link disappeared suddenly from the tag feed. I have no clue why - maybe the god’s of Tumblr didn’t like when Paul was laughing at Reesh’s goofy outfit.

Anyways, I keep my fingers crossed and post this fic straight here. Enjoy. ~

ps. Once again, it's just my headcanons, no means to offend anybody. I'm just playing around the characters. This time, there's a bit of angst, but in the end I promise, it's gonna be fine.

Tales from the Stadium Tour pt. 2: Night terrors

Only two months to the start of their biggest tour ever, and everyone is understandably being exhausted as hell. Nobody hasn't said or done anything to it before their lead guitarist cracks and threatens to quit the whole band.

Luckily, Paul is there for him.

Being a world-famous band, some days tended to be the best ever, while some were being the absolute worst. Today, evidently, the latter - at least for their lead guitarist.

“So ein Misthaufen!!! Fuck this lousy band and fuck this even lousier tour!!!” Richard yelled, after another string from his guitar broke in the middle of the song. He usually treated his precious instrument like a woman he adored, but at this stage of upset, he almost threw it to the brick wall. “I said in the first place that this stadium tour was the dumbest idea we’ve ever had. It’s gonna be just a fucking farce the whole thing, I tell you!”

The guitarist rushed demonstratively towards the door turning to his fellow band members the last time before exiting the room. “I’m gonna leave this whole Scheisse, so have a nice tour without me!!!”

Schneider, confused and annoyed from the strange situation, stood up behind his drum kit. He had to interrupt this somehow. “C’mon Reesh, we’ve had way worse moments before. What the hell are you talking about quitting now? Should we cancel all the sold-out stadium shows then, huh? Don’t be ridiculous. It’s been just a bad day, it’s unnecessary to act like that!” He didn’t think they really had played so poorly – hell’s, back in the days, they’d even performed to full festival audiences, completely wasted, and with all of their instruments being out of tune.

“Hire a fucking substitute, it’s your problem now. I don’t care anymore! So verpiss dich!!” Richard snorted and showed the rudest hand sign known in the western culture to his band members before slamming the door and disappearing from their practice.

Stiff atmosphere landed the room. The question marks inside the other band members’ heads were almost visible. What on earth was that? Flake stared at his keyboard without saying anything. He really hated drama and usually when that occurred, he wanted to discuss and settle things with diplomacy rather than with yelling and swearing. He had to admit that he was sometimes a bit frightened about the melodramatic attitude their lead guitarist had. Flake knew that Richard was emotionally unstable - mostly, because of his neglecting family and other difficulties he had encountered through his life, so it was definitely understandable - but still, he was never prepared for the drama. He would have wanted to help the poor man, but didn’t really know, how.

In the other corner, Ollie was playing some random bass riff without an amplifier. He tried to keep himself busy and hide his disorientation as well. Schneider was bit in a shock and was handling it with never-ending gabbing.

“What the fuck was that, why he had to be so mean? He should definitely learn some manners, he can’t say things like that or show us the middle finger, like he would be the boss. We are all adults, for god’s sake…” He inhaled and continued, a notable concern in his voice: “Where did that thing about quitting come from? Right now, just two months before Gelsenkirchen? I don’t understand, why is he being such an asshole…”

“That’s enough,” Till interrupted their drummer’s rambling and cleared his throat, continuing: “Yes, he was being an ass towards us, but we shouldn’t judge him still. As you said Schneider, we are all adults, so let’s act like ones, even though Reesh didn’t. We all have our bad moments, and bad days, but we’ll still stick together, right?”

Paul was sitting legs crossed in the middle of the stage, listening to the discussion - or it seemed more like an argument now. To be honest, he wouldn’t have wanted to participate anyhow to this, but he didn’t want anyone to be upset though. Richard had once said that their band’s relationship was like a marriage, so despite all the uncomfortable things happening, he still felt responsible of their band members - especially Richard, who he cared deeply.

“I agree with you that he’s been like a bear shot in the ass lately, but still, we shouldn’t hate him. There must be an explanation to all of this,” Paul said and turned towards their singer, desperation in his voice: “Till, what should we do now?”

The singer just shrugged his shoulders.

Schneider, still annoyed, carried on his ranting: “So what could help then, huh? Should we let the diva continue being an ass towards us? What if he was serious about quitting, what are we gonna do then? Cancel all the shows, get real jobs? Guys, I’m definitely not accepting this. Not at all. We shouldn’t always go his way.”

There was a brief silence in the tight atmosphere before Till gestured Paul outside the rehearsal room. “Can I have a word with you, privately?”

The puzzled guitarist nodded and followed.

“Have you noticed anything…unusual in Reesh’s behavior recently?” Till asked when they were just the two of them.

Paul was thinking for a while what to answer. “Yes. When I think about it, he’s been even more annoying than usually,” he tried to ease the tight atmosphere, but Till still looked dead serious, so he clarified, “or I mean that he really gets annoyed even about the smallest things nowadays. Sometimes, I don’t dare to say anything to him because everything seems to upset him more. He also looks exhausted and doesn’t have the energy he usually has. He seems like…he’s not being himself anymore.”

“Exactly,” Till answered. He was happy to hear that Paul had noticed the same things as him.

“Do you have any idea, what might it be? You’ve known each other quite a long time so has he been like that before?”

“Couple of times, yes. You know that he’s being sometimes unnecessarily dramatic, but I think this time, he has a reason.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, you have to admit that we - especially I - sounded like a vulture’s diarrhea ass today. You know how perfectionist Reesh is, so it made him even more distressed, and now he must think that our band is a total bullshit in general.”

“I agree that we weren’t at our best, but of course we’ve had bad days before and always managed still. I just don’t understand what made him to crack like that now.”

Till stared at the wall, avoiding Paul’s eyes, when he said: “I think he is mostly annoyed to himself rather than to us. He is clearly in a huge stress about this tour, about the news songs, about every single damn detail you can imagine. I can see that he’s not being his lively self, as you mentioned before. He tries to control everything too much and now, just two months before the tour should start, he has realized that it’s impossible to handle everything with a way he’d want to.”

Paul didn’t know what to think. In his opinion the stadium tour had been a good idea, something new and exciting for them. They’d had so much fun while creating their crazy-ass performance and the good old creative vibes had been around them. It felt amazing to play together once again, and like a cherry on top, it had lit that inner fire Paul had missed for a long time. He was also thrilled to perform the new songs - despite they didn’t have any clue yet, would the audience even like them, he was happy to play something new beside the old classics to which he was a bit fed up with. To be honest, he was even relieved that they had deleted Feuer Frei from their set list - even though it was a popular song, musically Paul thought it was one of their worst.

But, of course, when speaking of this kind of massive tour, everything doesn’t always go as expected. Paul didn’t mind it so much and he liked the idea that there was always room for some improvisation and surprises. The most important thing was that they and their audience enjoyed themselves. Besides, you’d always learn from failures and you could laugh at them later. He didn’t really understand, why Richard had to be so concerned about everything.

One thing his fellow guitarist had said before worried him the most. “Do you think he was serious with this ‘I quit’ bullshit?”

Till looked uneasy as well. “I don’t know. He is pretty unpredictable to be honest.”

“Then, what should we do? You know him the best, so should you go to talk to him?”

“Not me.”

“Why?”

“Because he doesn’t listen to me. It might make him to feel even worse. If he sees me, he probably just wants to smack me in the face.”

“So, what’s the solution then? Should we just let him be?”

“I don’t think it’s a good idea. It’s not once or twice he has ended up doing something stupid in bad mood.”

After a brief silent moment, Till looked Paul, almost like a begging dog. “Can you go to talk to him? I think you are the only chance we have now.”

The guitarist gave a laugh. “Me? What the hell, I’m not a professional psychologist. Besides, you know him way better than me.”

“It doesn’t matter, who knows him the best. Have you happened to notice the way he looks at you, listens to everything you say? He clearly adores you, so I think you should do it. If it doesn’t work, then we’ll figure out something else.”

Oh mein Gott. “But what am I supposed to say? I…I’m not good at this kind of stuff. What if I make him to feel even worse?”

“Just improvise,” Till said, and patted Paul’s shoulder, trying to make him to relax. Instead, the other man gulped notable loud. A huge pile of responsibility was on his shoulders now.

What the hell did I just promise.

Finding their angsty little teenager ended up to be pretty easy; Paul just had to follow the thick fog hovering in the corridor. Seriously, he should cut down that smoking.

In no time, Richard was hearing a knock on his door. Verdammt.

“For fuck’s sake, lass mich Ruh!”

“Sorry to interrupt, but can I come in?”

Hearing Paul’s voice cooled Richard down a tiny bit. At first, he’d been completely sure that it was Till who came to interrupt his own peace. Now he was so surprised that he couldn’t even reply anything to the other guitarist’s question. The other part of him wanted to welcome him in, hug him as tight as he could and weep all of his sorrows to the other man, while the other part just wanted to pout alone and act like nothing was wrong.

When Paul didn’t hear anything, he decided to take a risk and come in even without a permission. At least, there wasn’t that childish swearing anymore.

“You know very well that we all agreed earlier that we are not smoking inside,” he said, trying not to sound too judgemental. He knew that Richard was an eternal rebel, but still, he should at least try to obey the rules they had set together.

Even though Paul didn’t mean it, Richard took the other man’s comment as an insult. “Oh, I didn’t know that my stepfather has taken a form of Paul suddenly.” Even a thought of that horrible family member made Richard to shiver a bit.

Paul sighed. “You know very well that I didn’t mean to sound like him, just that some of the tour staff told us that they might get a terrible headache from cigarette smoke. We don’t want anyone to get sick at this point. You are not a teenager anymore, so you should start to respect others’ opinions as well.”

Just to annoy Paul more, his fellow band member lighted up another cigarette even though the first one wasn’t finished yet. Richard didn’t even bother to give a glance to the other man, like he would have been just thin air to him.

“Hallooo Mister, I’m talking to you now!” Paul shouted, waving his hands at the same time in front of the cocky man.

But still, Richard just continued smoking, without saying anything.

Paul tried to think what to do. Sensible talking clearly didn’t work now so he had to make up another kind of tactic.

Okay, you asked for this, you damn teenage diva.

Without any prior warning, Paul sat on Richard’s lap, dumped the precious cigarette to one of the many beer cans on the floor, and turned the other man’s head, forcing him to look straight into his eyes.

“Do I finally have your attention, Herr Kruspe?” Paul asked, in a provoked tone. If this wouldn’t work, he would suggest to the guys that maybe they should hire a new lead guitarist after all.

But, to Paul’s surprise, despite his earlier arrogant acting, Richard’s face didn’t look as aggressive as he had sounded. Instead, his eyes were actually glossy. The sight sent a wave of empathy inside Paul and now he was really concerned instead being annoyed. Okay, this must be something serious now.

“Reesh, what’s the matter?”

“Nothing,” Richard answered, turning his eyes from the other man’s inquisitive, yet sympathetic, gaze. I am not a fucking baby, so don’t you dare to pity me like that.

But resiliently, Paul continued: “It’s clearly ‘nothing’ when you are almost crying.”

Richard didn’t like it when Paul had to see him in this weak state. “You shouldn’t have come here. I bet that Till sent you.”

“It doesn’t matter who send me and why. I am seriously worried about you. In fact, we all are.”

Richard didn’t say anything, he just stared at the table in front of them even though it was difficult when the other man was sitting on his lap, being so freaking close to him. But to be honest, in any other situation, the other man’s proximity would have actually felt really pleasant. Right now though, he was so distressed that it was difficult to concentrate on anything.

“Reesh, honestly, we all are under a huge stress because of the upcoming concerts and stuff, but how you are acting and threatening to leave us, are far from normal. Please, tell me, what is concerning you,” Paul begged.

There was once again a silent moment. For a while Paul thought that this was a lost case - maybe Richard didn’t want to tell him anything and would rather to stay alone. This was probably a stupid idea in the end. Damn you Till and your “just improvise”.

But, just before Paul thought about leaving from the other man’s lap, Richard broke the eerie silence with a huge sigh. “Y-you are correct, I am actually in a huge stress.”

Now Paul’s attention arose again. Maybe this isn’t a lost case after all. “Do you want to clarify what do you mean with ‘a huge stress’? You know very well that I’m not a telepath, so I can’t enter your thoughts if you are not telling me, what’s going on.”

“I’m just so fucking scared of…all of this,” the other man managed to say, with a trembling voice. He desperately tried to fight back tears - it was too embarrassing to cry when somebody was witnessing. Richard was so used to keep his tough mask and now when it was falling off, he felt suddenly so helpless.

“Scared of what exactly?”

“Of everything…about this new tour and…stuff.”

Without getting a very clarifying answer, Paul tried to keep on asking. “We all can see that you are not being yourself. Can I ask you, have you even slept or eaten properly? Cigarettes and coffee are not considered as food.”

There was no point to lie or hide anymore, so whatever Paul was asking, Richard had to answer. Shit. “Well, a couple of hours now and then.”

“How much did you sleep last night for example?”

“Well, actually I…umm…didn’t sleep. And when I think about it, maybe I didn’t eat anything either. I really cannot remember…My head is being a bit fuzzy because there’s so much going on.”

“Holy hell, did you know that at our age we should care about our health even more! That’s not gonna end up really well, if you continue that kind of lifestyle. We are not young anymore, our motor doesn’t run with only drugs and alcohol!”

“Seriously, why do you have to sound like some fucking nurse now.” Of course, Richard knew very well that what he was doing wasn’t really healthy, but he couldn’t help it.

“It doesn’t matter how I sound, the most important thing is you now. But could you tell me, why haven’t you slept? Is there something bothering you?”

Richard nodded and shivered a bit. Fuck it, maybe I just have to tell him. “I can’t sleep because…because…I’ve had so horrible nightmares lately that I’m actually…afraid of falling asleep…it’s easier to stay up as long as I can.”

“Do you want to tell me what kind of nightmares?” Paul knew that he really started to sound like a psychologist, but he was so concerned, that he didn’t care about it right now.

They’d been sitting on the couch for a while and Richard had been trying to avoid Paul’s physical and mental proximity as best as he could. But, as he started to open up, he had a sudden urge to seek for attention from his friend. To Paul’s complete - yet, pleasant - surprise, without a warning, Richard grabbed him tightly and started to pour out, sobbing desperately at the same time: “I’ve…had of course nightmares before, but…not as vivid as these…i…it’s so fucking disturbing…”

“There’s nothing to be afraid of now, I’m with you,” Paul tried to calm his friend down, stroking his hair gently. “What is happening in your nightmares?”

Richard cleared his throat and started to mumble to Paul’s shoulder: “It begins…pretty normally. We are having a gig, everything goes well, and we are having fun, even though…I’m a bit dizzy when I see the huge audience. Seriously, it seems like there are millions of people there. Just staring at us. And I feel a nasty twitch in my stomach when I think about how they are…judging us, especially me.”

“You know that in our concerts, most of the people are probably so wasted that they don’t even remember anything. They don’t care how you sound or look, they are just having a party of their lives,” Paul said, trying to ease the other man’s horror.

But Richard didn’t hear what Paul was saying, he just kept continuing: “Then, we are doing the boat thing…I always thought it was a bad idea. You know what happened to Flake earlier.”

“And you know that Till has said you thousand times that you don’t have to do it, if you are afraid.”

“But…I don’t want to be…a coward.”

“You’re definitely far from being a coward.”

I wish I would believe that also. Richard gulped and continued to describe his terrible dream: “Everything is pretty ok and I see you are doing fine while you are boating through the audience - in fact, you seem to enjoy yourselves with Schneider, shaking hands with the people and stuff…I’m jealous to you when you manage to remain so calm.

When it’s finally my turn to step in, I feel like I have to throw up. When I look at all the people, they resemble an enormous pack of greedy wolves, ready to tear me alive. It’s fucking terrifying...

Then, I manage to go with the boat for a while, and when I’m finally convinced that it’s gonna be alright, suddenly something happens…I fall down and hit my head. I nearly pass out, and try to shout for help, but…nobody’s listening. Instead, the audience - looking like fucking werewolves with their huge red eyes - is tearing me apart, kicking and hitting me in the face so hard it’s impossible to breathe. I’m coughing blood and spitting out pieces of my teeth. At the same time, those animals are shouting…pretty nasty stuff to me.”

Paul noticed that as the story carried on, his breathing was getting shallow and his hands, still caressing his friend’s hair, were shaking. Yet, he tried to remain as calm as possible because he wanted Richard to tell him all, despite how horrible it would be. “What kind of…insults?”

“They are calling me…” In this part, it was difficult for Paul to get what Richard was saying, because his voice was trembling so much. Still, he tried his best to listen. “…a numb, a complete failure and that I have just failed through my life. That all I have achieved so far is a fucking farce… that nobody cares about me and…I would be better off dead. Some of those freaking werewolves even have the judging voice of my stepfather. He always thought that I’m nothing, I’m just a total loser. After all of these years his words…still haunt me.”

“Reesh, that’s so horrible…I’m so sorry to hear.” Paul wasn’t sure, what kind of words were the most suitable in this kind of situation. For Richard though, he wasn’t hoping to hear the right words, he was just so relieved that somebody was listening to him - and he was even more relieved when the person listening to him was Paul.

Richard parted from their embrace, now looking straight into the other man’s eyes. His grey eyes were filled with pure horror and self judgement. “But the worst part is just coming up.”

“Do you…do you want to tell it to me?”

Richard squeezed his friend’s shoulders so tight it hurt, but it didn’t matter.

“Reesh, please tell me. Everything is ok now, I’m here for you…”

So, the horrifying story continued. “In the end, the audience disappears and I’m relieved when I see all of you approaching me. I raise my hands, begging for your help, but you… just continue doing the same terrible things as the audience…Till points and laughs at me…that laugh is still echoing in my head…Rest of you behind him start to mock me. I also hear somebody of you saying that thank god you are finally getting rid of me, because you all hate me so much.

And in the end, the rest of the guys, expect for you, leave the scene. You stare at me, looking so curious - like a scientist glaring at his guinea pig - and so unusually…cold. I’m drained and exhausted, still hoping that at least you would help me. But, in the end…you come close to me and whisper to my ear…” Richard’s voice suddenly broke and he couldn’t breathe properly anymore.

Paul’s whole body was on goosebumps, but still, he wanted Richard to continue: “What…is it I whisper to you?”

The other man answered with his eyes closed: “You whisper to me that…’you fucking piece of shit…du bist ein Scheitern’…”

“…A failure? Why would I ever call you that? That’s… so fucking horrible…I’m so sorry…I would never call you with that horrendous word…”

“And you keep repeating it over and over until I’m begging you to stop, but you just continue…”

“Holy motherfucking hell, you should know that I would never, ever say anything like that to you…”

“And in the end, you spit on me and disappear, laughing with a voice so cruel that it…still hurts me to even think about it…I’d want to cry, but I can’t. I just lay on the dirty ground, alone, torn in the pieces mentally and physically.”

Paul was completely shocked, squeezing the other man tightly. “Holy shit…why am I acting like that in your dreams… I certainly hope that you are not really thinking that I would ever do something like that to you. Not in this lifetime. Not me, Till, Flake, Ollie or Schneider. We all love and support you and we’ll stick together, whatever happens. The audience can be shit sometimes, but we’ll always be there for you. For each other.”

Richard was crying to Paul’s shoulder, this time without even bothering to hide his awful feelings. Even though it was horrible to say out loud all these things which had bothered him for so long, it felt like a catharsis to finally speak about those horrors.

Richard parted from Paul’s embrace to blow his nose. “Es tut mir wirklich leid…how embarrassing, an adult man weeping like this.”

“Hey, there’s definitely no need to apologize.”

“Yes, there is. I was an ass towards all of you today. I really don’t know why I said all those cruel things…I’m just somehow so shocked and horrified about everything…”

“Well, all the guys were quite confused about the scene you created, but they will definitely understand and accept your apology. These are hard times for all of us, you are not alone.”

Richard wasn’t really convinced, so he continued: “Why am I so weak, why do I have to show my emotions like this…you all seem to be so happy about this new tour so why am I acting like this…”

“We all are afraid, of course. I’m as well and sometimes, it’s difficult for me to sleep, even though you know pretty well how good I’m at napping.”

Richard gave a dry laugh through his tears. “Yes, I definitely remember that lousy night after a gig in Mexico City, in that even lousier motel bunk we had to share. You were snoring so loud, and it was so freaking hot next to you, that I couldn’t sleep a second.”

Paul grinned. It was a good sign that Richard was joking, so he could be distracted from all the terrible things they had just discussed about. “To be honest, I don’t even remember anything from that night.” They both made a sound so weird that it was difficult to tell whether they were laughing or crying. It warmed up Paul’s heart to see his friend smiling, at least a tiny bit.

“But yeah, coming back to our Stadium Tour, it’s gonna be a huge thing for us. A challenge and an enormous step forward. I’m excited and yes, so afraid at the same time, but also, I am willing to just jump into the crazy rollercoaster - to see where it will lead us. And I’m completely sure that in the end, we will succeed and be even a bigger band we already are.”

“But how are you able to manage with all the fears and concerns? You seem so calm while I feel like I’m breaking into pieces even though the tour hasn’t even started yet.”

“I think the biggest reason I manage is that I know that I’m not alone. Whatever happens, we’ll stick together. We can, and we actually are bound, to ask for help - you should remember that as well. We don’t have to act like we are stronger than we are - we are, in the end, just a bunch of normal guys. Not some superheroes.”

Richard sighed. “I wish I could be like that as well. This freaking perfectionism is killing me.”

Paul understood what Richard meant. His friend was definitely that kind of a person, who’d be concerned if 1 person out of 100 didn’t like him, and he’d remember that single negative feedback for the rest of his life, even though there were actually 99 people worshipping him.

“Reesh, let me tell you something.”

There was a puzzled gaze in the other man’s eyes when Paul turned him to look at him again. “I just want you to know that you are an amazing person and a talented musician. Honestly, you are fucking amazing at anything you do. And if there happens to be someone who doesn’t like you, it’s his problem.”

Richard was blinking his eyes, confused from all of this. Still, after all these years, he wasn’t used to compliments. It felt a bit similar when passionate fans came to him, praising him from head to toe. “Now you must be just flattering me.”

Paul looked at him with a serious gaze. “Everything I said before is true, it’s not just some lame flattering. You deserve so much more positive things. I said it because I lo…” He cleared his throat and continued, feeling a rush of warmth on his cheeks at the same time: “I…umm, adore you very much.”

“Thank…you.” Richard was completely dumbfounded by the sweet words.

The two men were still embracing each other. Richard felt like his legs were getting a bit numb from Paul’s weight, but it didn’t matter. His whole body had calmed down, and he actually felt like he could finally fall asleep now, being safe with his friend.

His dreamy state was interrupted though when the other man asked: “Just one last thing. Were you serious with this ‘I quit’ stuff?”

Richard smiled. “Maybe I admit that I overreacted a bit. Of course, I’m not quitting, because I don’t want to get rid of any of you. Especially from you, Paul. I enjoy irritating you way too much.”

Hearing that felt like a heavy load finally dropped from Paul’s shoulders. “That’s wonderful to hear.” Then he came closer and whispered to Richard’s ear: “And you are definitely not getting rid of me, never in this lifetime.”

They both chuckled and Richard went back to his sweet, dreamy state. His eyelids weighed like led and slowly, he was dragged into the miraculous world of his unconscious mind.

Suddenly, Paul said, like from the distance, even though he was still close: “We all should relax.”

“…but I thought we have a tight schedule,” the other, drowsy man, mumbled.

“Yes, but it doesn’t help if we forcefully continue, exhausted and drained. We’d be too tired when the actual tour starts. We should take a tiny break.”

There was complete silence and Paul could only hear Richard’s calm, rhythmic breathing. “Are you sleeping under me?” he asked, pressing a couple of light kisses on the other man’s forehead.

“…maybe…does it matter?”

Paul gave a laugh. “Not at all, just that it might be a bit uncomfortable position.” He finally stood up and immediately, Richard positioned himself to the sofa more comfortable so he could take a nap. Paul handed him a blanket and sat next to him, caressing him still.

“I actually got an idea what we could do.”

“…huh?” was all that Richard was able to answer from the edge of consciousness.

“I’ll tell you later. Now, just get some sleep, mein Liebling.”

­­­­­­­­­­­­­“Wonderful to hear that he’s now resting,” Till said while they were walking towards the little kebab kiosk nearby the rehearsal place. Even though Till tried to maintain a healthy lifestyle, Paul’s idea of getting some junk food and watching a crappy movie from Ollie’s endless B film -collection, was a very good one indeed. It was no use to do anything meaningful anymore today and they all really needed something else to think about than the tour. It had been a long time since they did something else together than music related stuff.

There was still one question bothering the singer. “But I’m curious, how did you manage to calm him down when he was so upset earlier?”

“Well, I had my own ways,” Paul said, grinning himself.

“You two clearly have something special going on.”

With a dreamy look in his eyes, them fixed to the red sky, Paul whispered so quietly that Till could barely hear it: “…vielleicht…”

[afootnotetoallthisnoise-blog]

on ‘lady bird’, ‘love, simon’, and teenagers’ relationships on film

(Plug: this new YouTuber is way better at analysing film/TV than I am.)

I just watched Lady Bird and Love, Simon on a flight to New York, and since both films are deeply preoccupied with teenagers’ platonic, romantic, and familial relationships, I wanted to look at what I thought was original and fresh about these films’ perspectives – and what was more derivative and inauthentic.

i. parent-child relationships: attention and complexity

Lady Bird is centred around the titular girl and her developing identity, relationships and aspirations through her final year of high school. Easily the deepest and most emotionally arresting aspect of Lady Bird is Christine’s, or ‘Lady Bird’s’, relationships with her family, particularly her mother, Marion. This film works hard to expand a turbulent mother-daughter relationship past the simple archetypes of ‘moody teenage daughter’ and ‘unreasonable bitch mother’, into a more complex, three-dimensional whole which incorporates both the faults and the humanity that both characters have. Not only are both characters viewed singly as well as in relation to each other – LB is not solely ‘Marion’s daughter’, Marion does not solely exist as ‘LB’s mother’ – the film moves past a simply summed-up conflict into a more complicated picture, where both LB and Marion are driven by desires, fears and anxieties they can’t completely articulate to themselves, but which drive conflict both through difference in perspective and through inability to communicate.

There are painful, powerful, intense moments in Lady Bird where LB and Marion are struggling to communicate, to reconcile their differing views and convey themselves properly. LB’s confused but intense desire to go to New York, a place where she believes she will experience things which constitute ‘life’, exists alongside Marion’s grief at LB’s ostensible rejection of the life she has worked to give her, and neither are made out to be ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. They love each other deeply, but they can’t articulate the fears, anxieties, and stubborn desires which complicate their relationship, so their silent moments of shared, intense emotion – like the audiobook at the beginning of the film – are coupled with frustrated moments of crosstalk, mutual misunderstanding, hurt, affront, and anger. LB, as a self-centred, self-discovering adolescent, often fails to think about how her actions and speech are affecting her family, whilst Marion’s worry and care about LB manifest in being overly critical – she seems completely incapable of speaking positively to LB, including a deeply painful moment where she refuses to compliment LB’s prom dress.

They both reminded me of real people I know, real pangs of discomfort I’ve felt hearing a family friend speak slightly disparagingly about her daughter’s university chances, or an old acquaintance roll his eyes at his parents’ careful efforts to help him. It felt so refreshing seeing that complexity get handled on film – often parents are just supplementary figureheads in their child’s story (or vice versa), and if the film is interested in the parent-child relationship, it rarely gets its teeth into the sheer nastiness which can come out in certain parent-child relationships. There are, of course, teenager-centric films which get into complex parent-child dynamics – the differing burdens of childhood illness on parents and children, like in The Fault in Our Stars; parents’ work intersecting with children’s feelings of neglect, like in Coraline; radical inability to communicate or understand, e.g. The Virgin Suicides – but that richness of both love and frustration on both sides is a rare thing to see.

Love, Simon isn’t aiming to be as deep on this matter as Lady Bird, but it still has its own insights. Mostly Simon’s family is pretty happy and saccharine, but when Simon comes out, I think Simon’s father’s reaction – garbling a joke, panicking, leaving, shutting down – showed excellent acting and direction: it did what most good acting does, which is to break down a dichotomy of response (here, between the coming-out reactions of ‘I love you and everything’s fine’ and ‘BEGONE FROM THE PREMISES, DEMON GAY’). That confused, choked response conveyed the rush of forces acting on Simon’s father: desire to defuse the tension, desire to support, desire to downplay the situation, confusion, shock, grief at the reality of change, grief at the loss of a presumed similarity, grief that he hadn’t realised sooner. I’m sure more realistic reactions like that have happened in films before, but I haven’t personally seen any, and I found it refreshing: it broke down the scripted feel of both overly saccharine and uniformly harsh reactions, both of which close the door to further growth and development in the parents’ reaction to their child’s queerness.

ii. romantic relationships: centrality, development

In Love, Simon, there are tropes present, but I liked how it approached some aspects of teenagers’ romantic relationships. The ambiguity about Blue’s identity meant that we got a different model for how relationships can develop, pertinent in an age where dating is conceptualised as mainly visual (think the structure of apps like Tinder) and connection is determined through in-person interaction, but where, conversely, deep, lasting relationships have developed without that visual focus since the advent of the internet (through MMORPGs like World of Warcraft, for instance). The bit at the end was cheesy, but that’s what they were going for, and it was so sweet to watch.

Most of the other romantic stuff was pretty run-of-the-mill – the couple who like each other but things keep getting in the way; the unrequited crush; etc – but there’s one other aspect I’d like to mention, which is how Simon’s falling-out with his friends is handled about 2/3 of the way through the film. A less nuanced film would just have Abby, Leah, and Nick getting pissed that Simon meddled in Abby and Nick’s relationship, without them understanding about Simon’s bind due to Martin’s blackmail. But what I liked was that both Abby and Leah acknowledge the pressure that the blackmail put on Simon, but they make clear that it doesn’t excuse his disrespect for both Abby (by treating her like a ‘piece of meat’ to be given to Martin in exchange for his own safety) and Leah (by sending her on a date with a man he thought she loved, knowing that he wasn’t interested in her). It’s not the tired ‘it’s all a misunderstanding, guys’ conflict: they understand what happened, but they still argue that Simon’s disrespect for their own romantic lives and autonomy wasn’t okay.

While Love, Simon is dually focused on Simon’s coming out and his budding relationship – though the two threads aren’t separate – LB’s relationships in Lady Bird are significant but aren’t the central focus of the movie, which I liked; while it makes sense for a romantic relationship to be central to Love, Simon, since it’s a sensible mode within which to discover something like queerness (which is intrinsically tied up with your relationships to other people), Lady Bird’s focus on self-discovery works better with the romantic relationships not being central, otherwise it would perpetuate the tired stereotype that a woman’s ‘coming of age’ has to be pretty-much-entirely experienced through falling in love with a man. (It being central is fine, but I don’t like the implications that somehow, teenage girls cannot Mature into Full Human Beings unless a dude and his dick shows up.) LB’s two relationships are with the too-perfect-guy and the douchebag-who-doesn’t-give-a-shit, neither of which provide really new perspectives on teenagers’ romantic relationships – neither character has much depth in the film, either – but I thought the sex scene and its aftermath was very well done: LB’s recognition that the performative significance she’d given her first sexual experience was different from the reality, and her recognition that the guy she’d slept with wasn’t worth the language she’d inherited for it, rang very true. (Also, the situation bore out some excellent humour. ‘I was on top! Who the hell is on top for their first time?!’)

iii. friendships: the status problem

I think Lady Bird is a great film, but the part I found the least inspiring was LB’s friendship arc. I’m pretty sick of this formula: protagonist is best friends with good, loyal, but low-status friend/s -> protagonist manages to get in with the popular kids and abandons their low-status friend/s -> protagonist realises popular kids are shallow assholes and they’ve made a horrible mistake -> protagonist apologetically returns to low status friend/s, there is a bit of anger and conflict, but eventually they all make nice. I’m sick of it because I feel like it doesn’t ring true.

Now, I have been through secondary school, recently though not overly so (I graduated from sixth form in 2015). I know that status is a thing in secondary school and that it exerts an influence. But I dislike this ubiquitous storyline which implies that a) every school conforms to a rigid hierarchy of popularity and that b) literally everyone gives a shit about improving their status. I found Love, Simon’s group of four much more authentic in this regard: ultimately, Simon’s group of four just enjoy each other’s company, rather than being rigidly grouped based on status or fitting a recognised ‘type’. Depicting popularity as being present but not all-encompassing seems to resonate more with how my school worked, where there were recognisable groups but a lot of boundary-blurring, and where different subcultures could - usually - peacefully coexist alongside each other.

Because it adheres closely to the student-social-climber model, the astounding depth of familial relationships and notable depth of romantic relationships in Lady Bird isn’t replicated in LB’s friendships. Not every character needs to be an incredibly complex seventeen-year-old (I’m fine with Kyle just being a bit of a bored poser), but I feel like the film either tried and failed to give Jenna depth or just agreed she wouldn’t have any, and I feel like it would have really served the story for LB to realise that the girl at the top of the totem pole actually had problems and internal conflict, despite her status and wealth. As it is, she just stays ‘bored rich chick’ from beginning to end. Julie isn’t given as much depth as she could be either – all her appearances just seem to reinforce ‘sweet nerd archetype’, and no attention is given to her own brief romantic relationship and romantic turmoil - though I don’t begrudge them the prom scene (it was very sweet).

Overall, I didn’t realise just how refreshing it would feel to see a group of friends who experience growth, development and conflict, but who also just really like getting iced coffee together! And the fact that it did highlights a problem with friendship stereotypes in high school movies.

[themisadventuresofcando]

Life #5 (South Park)

Character Sheet

Face Claim:

Basic

Name: Carmencita D. Tweedle

Pronunciation: Car-men-SEE-tuh

Meaning: Little Song

Nicknames: Carmen, Tweedle Dee, Mutt, Snow Bunny

Name Origins:

Carmen: Shortened from Carmen

Tweedle Dee: Used with Tweedle Dum, Middle Initial, and Last Name

Mutt: Racial Slur for Mixed Race (I will actually beat that living shit out of you if you call me this AHEM Cartman AHEM)

Snow Bunny: A weird combination of my love of snow and Kenny’s love of Playboy Bunnies

Titles: N/A

Aliases: Princess Kenny’s Personal Knight, Estrella

Alias Origin: Games with The Boys

Orientation: Heterosexual

Gender: Female

Age: 16

Date of Birth: June 4th

Star Sign: Gemini

Birth Flower: Rose

Meaning: True Love

Birthstone: Pearl

Meaning: Purity

Species: Human

Affiliation: Humans, Freedom Pals

Social Status: Middle Class

Dead?: Eventually

How?: This is South Park probably really stupidly

Last Words: “SHIT!!! WE’RE GOING TO DIE!!!!”

Appearance

Eye Color: Grey-Blue

Glasses/Contacts: Glasses

Skin Tone: Pale with Freckles

Hair Color: Dark Brown

Hair Length: Just Past Shoulder

Hair Type: Curly

Hairstyle: Ponytail Normally, 

Loose When Estrella,

Braids When Knight

Height: 5’1 (Yes, I’m short… only means i’m closer to hell)

Body Build: Skinny and Scrawny

Notable Features: N/A

Piercings: N/A

Tattoos: N/A

Scars: Small Mark on Left Cheek

Birthmarks: Thigh

Wardrobe

Style: Casual and Warm

Favorite Outfit: Dark Blue Coat Lined with Dark Grey Fur, Blue Jeans with Black Star Pattern, Black Fur Lined Boots, Grey Gloves with Ugly Sweater Pattern, Gray Knit Hat with Dark Grey Poof, Black Moschino Backpack with Optimus Prime Bear, Star Ring

Formal Outfit: Black Off Shoulder Asymmetrical Dress, Black Kitten Heels, Black Shoulder Bag with Silver Star Print, Silver Star Necklace, Silver Star Bracelet, Silver and Pearl Star Clip On Earrings, Silver Star Ring

Alter Ego Outfit:

Stick of Truth: Grey Tank Top Cut and Sewn Together with Shoe String, Long Sleeve Black Shirt, Black Hoodie, Black Leggings, Black Boots, Plastic Champion Belt, Plastic Gauntlets, Toy Bow and Arrow

Freedom Pals: Black Tank Top, Blue Galaxy Skater Skirt, Black Tights, Black Leather Jacket with Silver Star Pattern, Black Sneakers with Gold Star Pattern, Multiple Silver and Gold Star Bangles, Black Choker with Dangling Silver Stars, Silver Star Crossbody Bag, Silver Star Headband, Silver Star Ring, Black Lace Masquerade Mask

Accessories: Silver Star Ring

Scent: Vanilla, Green Tea

Relationships

Mother/Mother Figure: Roxane Tweedle

Relationships:

My mother is a very strange woman. She is very paranoid and always moving around the town. She is very attentive to my sister and I’s needs and tends to try to give us anything we could want (which doesn’t mean we actually want it). Whatever time she spends with us usually driving us around to wherever it is we’re going and it’s usually spent with us all terribly singing along to the radio and laughing. Mom isn’t one to want to sit and listen to us or to give us advice as she has a short attention span (probably where Olivia gets it from). She might not be the best mother but she does try and I still love her.

Father/Father Figure: Jackson Tweedle

Relationships:

My father, on the other hand, tends to love to sit and listen to (gossip with) us. He loves to try and smother with us with anything we ask for (Olivia and I honestly made it a game to see how far he would go to get us what we wanted… he has to fail). Dad is just as paranoid as mom is but he hides it a lot better. He was also the one that signed me up for martial arts which caused a huge argument between parents. My dad has been known to also beat the shit out of anyone who dares insult us or my mother (probably where I got it from).

Brothers/Brother Figures: N/A

Relationships: N/A

Sisters/Sister Figures: Olivia Tweedle

Relationships:

As dumb as Olivia can be, she is a very loyal friend and sister. I have, obviously, known her my entire life and she has never let me down (In terms of loyalty and reliability not much else). She can deal with my violent tendencies ad overly snarky demeanor. I can (most of the time) deal with her oblivious, careless attitude. We rarely fight and get along better than most sisters do and I’m pretty happy to have her as my sister.

Aunts/Aunt Figures: Nancy Tweak

Relationships:

Aunt Nancy is very sweet. She is always supportive whatever decision we make even if it might not be the right one. She is also pretty good at telling right from wrong and standing up when she thinks we’re doing something terrible. As supportive as she is she doesn’t really listen and is known to just leave us to our devices for long periods of time. She honestly borders on child neglect with how little she pays attention to us or Tweek.

Uncle/Uncle Figures: Richard Tweak

Relationships:

Uncle Richard is much worse than Aunt Nancy. All he cares about is his business and pays no attention to anything any of his family does. That’s not to say he doesn’t care, he does... he just cares more about his coffee shop. He also does anything to boost his shop which includes manipulating us and Tweek to do his bidding. Yeah, I don’t like my uncle.

Cousins/Cousin Figures: Tweek Tweak

Relationships:

I adore my cousin Tweek. As jitter and jumpy as he is I find him absolutely adorable. I’m usually the one to take the late night calls and now late night talks about pressure and Underpants Gnomes. I try to comfort him but it doesn’t always work cuz this kid is riddled with anxiety. When he’s calmer (calmer, NOT calm) he is pretty fun to hang around and his friends are pretty crazy. You wouldn’t think this but Tweek is surprisingly protective of Olivia and I. He has actually attacked some people he thought had hurt us emotionally or physically.

Nieces/Niece Figures: N/A

Relationships: N/A

Nephews/Nephew Figures: N/A

Relationships: N/A

Sons/Son Figures: N/A

Relationships: N/A

Daughter/Daughter Figures: N/A

Relationships: N/A

Current Guardian: The Tweaks

Relationship: I get along well with Aunt Nancy (I mean she tries), I hate uncle Richard (I know for a fact he’s the entire reason for Tweaks anxiety), and I adore Tweak

Current Significant Other: Kenny McCormick

Relationship:

Kenny McCormick was never the boy I saw myself dating. Simply put he was a major player and I wanted commitment.Kenny went around on any girl that moved and I was no exception, however, I was one of the very few who resisted his… charm. That got him interested and he is surprisingly persistent but so am I. It was a long game of cat and mouse where he would find me and drop cheesy pickup lines, offer compliments, and ask me out over and over while I offered sarcastic comment after witty comeback (if I do say so myself). The game turned into a surprisingly close friendship where the flirting got more jokey and less serious, where his true colors showed and that was when I finally caught feeling for the real Kenny McCormick. The overly perverted, vulgar, overprotective big brother Kenny. It didn’t take me to long to ask him on a date and imagine my surprise when this guy decided to actually give a committed relationship a try. I’m glad he did because now I know the jealous, overprotective, poorly timed joke slinging Kenny too. Obviously, we have a very touchy-feely relationship (which is weird because I’m not a big fan of being touched).

People

Mentors:

Advisor: Kyle Broflovski

Confidant: Kyle Broflovski

Teammates:

Stick of Truth: Humans

Fracture But Whole: Freedom Pals

Friends: Stan Marsh, Kyle Broflovski, Tweek Tweak, Butters Stotch, Token Black, Craig Tucker, Jimmy Valmer, Timmy Burch, Heidi Turner (I AM going to beat Cartman for what he did), Karen McCormick

Best Friend: Olivia Tweedle

Love Interest: Kenny McCormick

Rivals: Wendy Testaburger, Bebe Stevens

Enemies: Eric Cartman

Person Hated Most: Eric Cartman

Most Important Person: Olivia Tweedle

Awkward Around: Wendy when she breaks up with Stan, Tweek, and Craig when they’re fighting

Admires: Dad, Kyle

Past

Hometown: North Park

Childhood: Pretty normal, lived in a small town, small house, small family. Then, of course, our parents decided to go on some big trip and dump us with relatives for God knows how long.

Childhood Hero: JK Rowling (What? I like Harry Potter)

Most Important Memory: When my parents finally signed me up for martial arts after months of begging OR When I won my elementary school art competition

Present

Current Location: South Park

Living With:

Occupation: Student

Pets: Wiener Dog/Golden Retriever Mix named Oz

Health

General Health: Meh… I tend to get colds every few weeks

Reason: Apparently I have a sucky immune system

Mental Health: I’d say I’m sane, though, according to others that’s up for debate

Reason: I’m violent and pretty loud once I’m comfortable

Sleep Habits: I sleep like a log

Diet: Umm… I’m not on one

Exercise: Martial Arts, I Ride My Bike A Lot

Allergies: Dairy Products

Injuries: I get scrapes and bruises (I’m kind of a klutz)

Disorders: N/A

Deformity: N/A

Disabilities: N/A

Mutations: N/A

Handicaps: N/A

Medication: N/A

Education

School: South Park High School

Best Class: Art

Worst Class: Biology

Sports: Martial Arts

Clubs: Art Club

Languages: Spanish, English

Memory: Ok, I Guess

Abilities (Fracture But Whole)

List of Powers: Stellarkinesis

Moves:

Gravity Slam: Using the force of gravity to slam and hold opponents to the ground (Kick them in the balls/punch in the boob)

Shooting Star: Bringdown a star from space to hit a target (Chuck Firecrackers at them)

Plasma Beam: Use beam of plasma to harm enemies (Shine flashlight in their eyes)

Stellar Healing: Use stardust remaining from destroyed stars to heal teammates (Neosporin and Band-Aids)

Stardust: Use stardust to confuse opponents (Chuck glitter in their faces)

Abilities

Gravity Manipulation (Basically Telekinesis AKA Imagination)

Stardust Manipulation (Glitter)

Plasma Manipulation (Flashlight)

Origin: As a child, I was taken by a space god worshipping cult who attempted to sacrifice me to their god in a special ritual. Instead of dying, the ritual gave me the power to control the stars and become someone who could protect other children from being attacked and suffering my fate,.(AKA I wear star-shaped ring and own a lot of things with star patterns)

Elements: Space

Strengths: Stars, Night, Evasion, Long Range

Weaknesses: Cold, Water, Over-Exertion, “Nightmares from cult experience” (what the hell does that even mean?)

Restrictions: Over-Exertion of Powers

Immunities: Fire, Light, Sun

Combat

Fighting Style: Quick and Hard, Use Opponent's Strength, Momentum, and Weight Against Them

Weapons: Bow and Arrow (Stick of Truth), Hand to Hand

Personality

Good Traits: Loyal, Creative, Smart, Strategic, Athletic (Fast), Funny, Hard to Get Angry, Romantic

Bad Traits: Snarky, Overly Sarcastic, Explosive Temper, Likes to Hide Bad Feelings, Insecure About Glasses and Relationships, Stubborn

Likes: Animals, Art, Martial Arts, Laughing, Family, Games, Friends, Snow, Stars, Silver, Cheesy Romantic Dates, Reading, Cooking

Dislikes: Getting Angry, SOMEONE Insulting My Friends/Family, Swimming, Hunting, Being Touched by Most People

Turn Ons: Dirty Talk, Compliments, Jokes/Cheesy Pick Up Lines, A Little Rough

Turn Offs: Insults, Silence, Lies

Talents: Drawing, Martial Arts

Sense of Humor: Laughs at Just About Anything

Darkest Secret: Loves Cheesy Pick Up Lines

Does Anyone Know? Who?: Olivia and Possibly Kenny

Greatest Fear: Drowning

Why?: Can't Swim

Other Fears: Cartman Finding Out About Insecurities/Fear/That His Words Sometimes Hurt

Why?: Cartman is Cartman

Most at Ease When: With Karen, Kenny, Olivia, Kyle or Butters (or Any Combination)

Most Uncomfortable When: With Literally Anyone's Parents (They’re all so stupid… how are they even parents?)

Enraged When?: SOMEONE (CARTMAN) Insults My Friends/Family

Depressed When?: I Let My Stupid Insecurities Get to Me

Frightened When?: Getting Too Deep in Water

If Granted One Wish What Would It Be?: That I Didn’t Need Glasses

Habits

Hobbies: Art, Martial Arts, Reading

Instrument?: Nope (It'd be cool though)

Sport?: Martial Arts

Spending Habits: Um… If I Get Excited I Just Buy Shit but I MOstly Hate Shopping

Drinks?: NOPE

Smokes?: EW

Drugs?: EXTRA EW

Nervous Tics: Tugging on Earlobe, Chewing Lip

Favorites

Prized Possession: Star Ring

Color: Silver

Song: When The Day Met The Night by PATD

Quote: “Twinkle twinkle little star, do you know how loved you are”

Movie: Peter Pan

Food: Honey Butter Biscuits

Season: Fall

Book: Harry Potter

Genre: Fantasy

Flower: Stargazers

Flavor: Blueberry

Dessert: Blueberry Coffee Cake

Either/Or

Pessimist or Optimist: Optimist

Pacifist or Fighter: Fighter

Introvert or Extrovert: Extrovert

Proud or Humble: Humble

Messy or Tidy: Messy

Risky or Safe: Risky

Strength or Wisdom: Strength

Flashy or Simple: Simple

Long Range or Short Range: Long Range

Cats or Dogs: Dogs

Hot or Cold: Cold

Book or Movie: Movie

Loud or Quiet: Quiet

Logic or Emotion: Emotion

Work or Relax: Relax

Confident or Shy: Confident

Night or Day: Night

Out of 10

Knowledge: 6/10

Wisdom: 5/10

Motivation: 4/10

Agility: 6/10

Power Control: 7/10

Hand to Hand: 8/10

Long Range Accuracy: 6/10

Offense: 7/10

Defense: 4/10

Reflexes: 5/10

Speed: 7/10

Strength: 6/10

Sociability: 5/10

Bravery: 7/10

Confidence: 6/10

Generosity: 5/10

Endurance: 4/10

Evasion: 6/10

Kindness: 5/10

Creativity: 8/10

Charisma: 6/10

Memory: 5/10

Temper: 2/10

Patience: 8/10

[twisted-leader-of-something]

Quentin's Full Backstory/Role in Twisted Wonderland's Main Story

Hello! Before you start this, I need to put some trigger warnings because Quentin's background contains lots of dark subjects because of her growing up in my version of Andalasia, which already has issues because well, I wanted to add realism into Twisted Wonderland and ended up making, well, a pretty messed up place. So, here's my warning: This post contains mentions and depictions of mental illnesses namely suicidal depression and implied bipolar disorder, unhealthy coping mechanisms/habits such as self-harm implied drug/alcohol usage implied underage marriage and yandere behaviors, child neglect (if you squint), sibling neglect/abandonment, attempted sororicide, successful suicide, nervous breakdown, implied torture, gaslighting and panic attacks. So, if you don't feel comfortable with any of these topics, I have a more SFW version here. 

Also, this is going to be a long post because that's how detailed I was. Which I kinda hate myself now but whatever it's posted now. So, grab some food or drinks because this is going to take a while to read. I have a basic and short here if you really don't want or have the time for reading a long post.

Backstory [ Really Short and Basic vers. ] [ SFW vers. ] 

Childhood: Quentin was born the last child of the Desmona family, the 11th line of the Andalasian noble houses with an older brother ten years older than her named Rasul Desmona and an older sister fourteen years older than her named Faustina Desmona. From what Quentin remembers, she didn't really leave her house much at her family's requests. She also remembers feeling distant from her parents and her older sister with Rasul was the only true connection she felt she had within her family, as she somewhat understood her mother was emotionally unstable and very busy with diplomatic matters, her father wasn't always there for her and Faustina seemed to care very little for her. Quentin also remembers meeting and playing with her upper class friends and peers all the time during that timeframe which still she fondly remembers. Quentin also says when she was little she was very idealistic and lots of people praised her for her intellect for a girl her age, which she would often use mischievously. When Quentin was four, Faustina ran off with her husband Oberyn, leaving a note telling her family she was leaving her royal life for her husband, who was really yandere for Faustina from what Quentin remembers of when she actually saw him. The declaration of Faustina's resignation from the family immediately affected the Desmona family as Quentin's father suddenly spent little to no time with the family anymore choosing to instead hide in books, her mother became so emotionally unstable Quentin and Rasul had to be taken from her custody by Quentin's best friend a princess named Andromeda, who was really upset that Quentin was now easy to scare and was not as available to play with after school and then discovered why when Quentin got scared so badly by one of her teachers she had to go to a royal doctor to calm her down and the doctor figured out why and told the young princess. While Quentin doesn't remember much about her time in royal custody, Andromeda says Quentin and her and their families played and partied a lot together most of the time Qunetin and Rasual was there with lots of alcohol and drugs to help the Desmona children forget. Andromeda also states she and Quentin even shared a room together for the whole time Quentin was in the palace and Quentin, despite being in therapy because the upper class families feared Mr. and Mrs. Desmona were physically abusing her and Rasul and was enforcing everyone treat Quentin very kindly, was mostly alright after a few days of resting and playing with her friends and really just needed to be away from her mother's toxic influence, especially compared to her brother who actually needed therapy. During her temporary stay at the royal place, Quentin met most of the royal family which she became close with, namely Azazel, Andromeda's twin brother. Quentin and Andromeda also made a promise to stay together, which only Andromeda really remembers. After about a few weeks of the Desmona children staying the royal palace, word got out to the whole country that Faustina had abandoned the royal family and Mr. and Mrs. Desmona were executed without their children's knowledge because of the peasantry demanding blood for Faustina's departure. At the time, the royal family had planned to have the two hidden within the palace because the two were innocent of Faustina's crime and still in the process of healing, while Mr. and Mrs. Desmona were not since the did nothing to stop Faustina's toxic relationship. A month after the two children were released from royal custody and learning to run a house without their parents with some help from other houses because of how young the two were (as they were now five and fifteen and told their parents where in a longer therapy than them.) a servant, without permission, told the two that her parents where actually dead. Once the two actually realized it was true after being shown evidence, it sent Rasul into a spiral of depressive and yandere episodes centered around Quentin and got Quentin into beginning stages of her self-harming tendencies, which the two was able to be pulled out of before it got too bad, but really couldn't fix it because they had gotten to the children far too late and it seemed to have developed into a habit. But, to try a combat the destructive tendencies the two had, instead the noble houses distracted the Desmona house by getting them to run a noble house via a bunch a fancy parties with alcohol. Which, while it did stress the two Desmona siblings out majorly because the two basically had to scramble to get their noble house together, it worked out (by some miracle) and eventually things settled down to where everything was seemly back to normal, despite Rasul's yandere behaviors towards Quentin and Quentin being more depressed than she used to be, which the two learned to hide. For a few years, the Desmona siblings worked hard to maintain their noble house and balancing their school lives as well, which gave the two lots of useful skills and gained the house a reputation for being a hardworking and intelligent house to be born into. 

Teenage Years: When Quentin was thirteen, she found her brother dead next to her in her bed when she woke up from a nap and then she herself felt really, really dizzy and sick. She managed to phone call someone from help before she passed out and when she woke up, she woke up exactly a week later and the royal doctors and nurses said her older brother Rasul he had killed himself with a poisonous potion because, despite how much he loved Quentin, he couldn't take the pressures of being an Andalasian nobleman after all the hard work he had put in and he tried to kill Quentin with the same potion because he thought Quentin was the only person in all of Andalasia that mattered. Though, later on the doctors and nurses admit his suicide note didn't give an exact reason why he killed himself so the doctors and nurses where guessing his motive as the note was him ranting about how hard it was to be a noble with peasants that control his life and how his life sucked after his parents were killed and his older sister left him and how hard him and Quentin had worked and how much he loved Quentin, which showed Rasul had yandere-like obsession towards Quentin. Which on top of all the information she had just learned really depressed Quentin because of how much she loved Rasul then felt the surviving Desmond child didn't know what to do with her life anymore now that she basically had nothing and that depression spun wildly out of control quickly bringing back her self-harming tendencies even worse than before and brought out suicidal thoughts until Quentin's body shut down from all the stress and depression Quentin had for two days, which only added to the amount of time she was in the royal hospital for and after she passed out for two days. After a long time of depression Quentin was able to get herself under control, as the upper class of Andalasia would often visit her while she was asleep and she heard them cry so hard to see she was so stressed and screaming she didn't want to be alive anymore. Which is the main reason she snapped of her depression, because their reactions really hit Quentin that she wasn't alone, and then later on learning how long she’s been in the royal hospital which was almost a year. Quentin really did try to heal from a near year of depression by trying her best to get herself together without the use of therapy and trying her best to visit with her friends and peers mostly notably Azazel, Eadwine and Amiel as she said they had the most impact on her and, she got better. A lot better than she used to be. She learned lots of ways to combat her self-destructive behaviors, which she still uses. When Quentin got out of the royal hospital she worked really hard to get her noble house back on its feet which really helped her learn things about herself and life in general, making her a better person. She also got a position in the royal house as a librarian and diplomat for the royal house and the Republic of Andalasian Peoples, for her hard work in self-improvement, which Quentin worked hard to try and establish some sort of relationship between the two groups which did work out. After a few months of a not-so-heavy workload, Quentin received marriage proposals from almost every house due to her skills and hard work which Quentin got nervous about because she wasn't sure if she wanted to commit to anybody yet, until she spoke with Amiel and told him she wasn't sure what to do. Amiel said to marry him, Eadwine and Azazel because they were the closest to her, the foursome needed each other a lot with how much they've came to know each other and they are all in a similar boat which Quentin agreed to do. And after months of awkward dates because of the group wanting to actually fall in love the group had finally proposed to each other, and then after a lot of setbacks that took the group hugely off guard (which was mostly other weddings, parties and schoolwork) their wedding day was held when the group was fifteen and the four agreed to make a new house, the 14th house, named Nighy-Sallow which worked well for the foursome as each was very skilled, had a decent reputation and was decently wealthy to boot, so they could take care of themselves well. Quentin lived a mostly decent life with her spouses for a year until she found a letter from Night Raven College about her brother's application to the school was accepted, and the school needed Rasul confirmation that he could attend, which Quentin wasn't sure how to take at first because she was very confused as how the hell did this letter get to her older brother without the royalty knowing, along with a flurry of other emotions Quentin didn't understand or really process at the time. But eventually Quentin wrote a letter back confirming that she would attend Night Raven College instead of her brother stating her brother died of tuberculosis and would do it in his place and then sent it as secretly as she could to NRC who accepted her letter thinking Quentin was Rasul's younger brother. When Quentin received her acceptance letter into Night Raven College, she was very conflicted as to what to do then as, she had a month before the school year started and she now had a choice. She could, by some miracle, dual enroll into NRC and the school was already enrolled in (which she then realized was impossible because NRC had dorms) she could run away from Andalasia (which she later found in her brother's diary was what he was planning to do) or ask to go to NRC, and after a few days of thinking, Quentin went to Andromeda and told her the situation she was in. Andromeda surprisingly agreed to let her go to Night Raven College saying, sooner or later the country needed to see the world again, and who better to do so than one of the smartest people in the kingdom? And then after some careful negotiations with the royal family and RAP that involved lots of non-disclosure agreements, and lots of convincing from her spouses that would be okay without and her would actually be okay at NRC, Quentin was released from Andalasian grip and allowed to go to NRC under the conditions she was doing it for diplomatic reasons. 

Quentin's First Year at Night Raven College: Quentin was honestly somewhat confused to be brought to NRC in a coffin and changed out of the semi-fancy unisex clothes she was wearing into the school's robes but she took it in stride as it was her first time outside her country thinking it maybe normal for schools to have this strange gimmick and when Quentin got to Night Raven College's campus, it surprised her how big and complicated the school looked on the outside but then quickly realized it was very emo looking on the inside. Quentin also encountered a lot of people saying her with hair down made her look like a girl and how she's probably going to be sorted into Pomefiore with those looks she has which, she waved off due to not enough knowledge about the situation. At the entrance ceremony, Quentin met Agat and Dorji whom she was sitting next to and talked with Agat a bit about Night Raven College, getting the basics of: this was a prestigious school for magicians before Agat went to be sorted into Diasomnia which information Quentin did not know at all before coming other school because she came from a lock-downed country. When Quentin was to be sorted, the mirror stated the shape of her soul belonged to no dorm but Ramshackle dorm after a few minutes of looking at her in silence which even the teachers seemed to be surprised about since Ramshackle dorm had been abandoned for a while at that point. Quentin simply shrugged off the teachers and the dorm leaders asking her questions about if she would be okay being by herself because they had not planned for someone to be sorted into Ramshackle at all, and she said that the choice cannot be changed now, as the mirror made a decision and if it meant she wasn't in a common dorm, than so be it because the mirror's choice supposed to be for his benefit so he'd deal with it and the teachers actually seemed to like Quentin's response and for the rest of the ceremony told her to stay close to them, and they would talk to her after the ceremony was done. Once the ceremony was done Quentin was told by the headmaster Dire Crowley that she was the first person to be in Ramshackle dorm in a long time so her dorm would be a mess and she had a lot of work ahead of her on top of schoolwork so he asked if she would need any help or accommodations. Quentin said something like, "I came to this school to learn what I can about magic and if the mirror says I have to work harder than everyone else to get it, then I'll do it. I'll work just as hard as everyone else here." Which surprised the staff greatly and then said if that really was how she saw it, then she's going to get what she asked. She was directed to her new dorm and was able to get into the good graces of the ghosts living there with only one magical fight and after an explanation who she was, saying that she was a boy not a girl to blend in with the male population. When the school year actually started Quentin was sorted into class 1-D as student number 10 and Quentin found her schoolwork to be. . .easy. Really easy. Which made her feel like her like her time at Night Raven College was really not worth it because for the first few weeks as she really was having little to no difficulty at all with her classes and most people caught unto it not only because most of the teachers praised her a lot for her intellect but also because she didn't seem to be cheating in any way, either. Which, actually got her into somewhat of trouble because lots of people thought she was cheating. (Because how do you get great PE and Alchemy grades without some sort of cheating?! Those teachers rig the class against you!) Which Quentin really did not want to deal with trouble over grades because she needed study as much as she could about Twisted Wonderland and how to be a boy, so Quentin toned down her grades to be much lower so she was barely passing as an honor student much to most of the teachers' dismay, but she did explain her reasoning to her teachers saying she really didn't have the time for honor student pricks and greedy jerks to bully with her, as she had a dorm to get back into shape and, most of the teachers agreed with that logic except Divus Crewel and Aston Vargas whom she agreed to help out to placate them. For about half a month after lowering her grades, Quentin had peace for the first time since she entered Night Raven College and she decided to use that time to rebuild her dorm building and really study the world outside Andalasia which she now had a good grasp on Twisted Wonderland and its' countries. A week after she finished rebuilding Ramshackle dorm proper, she started getting invited to dorm leader meetings by fellow dorm leaders. Which, at first she was suspicious about since Ramshackle's only reputation was their only member was barely an honor student but she soon realized the reason for her being at the meetings when the leaders dumped work they didn't want to do on her, which really pissed her off but decided to live with because she really had no problems with schoolwork and than the staff, most notably Crowley started calling favors from Quentin as well. Which made her even more angry, as she realized she was now basically the school leaders' gopher. Which at first was not too much of a problem for Quentin until the school leaders started to take her service for granted and treated her like a dumb first year. Which, really, really pissed her off and at first, Quentin just didn't deal with the problem and ignored it until she snapped at her dorm's ghosts and broke down crying saying the school was too hard for her. The ghosts then confronted her about her issue, and asked why he put up with the crap he gets from other dorm leaders and why a person like him put up with their garbage and Quentin realized that she really didn't deserve this treatment at all because of what her brother had to sacrifice to get her here and she needed to stand up for herself and, after lots of help from the ghosts, she stood up to the staff and dorm leaders for using her as a gopher and not appreciating her work for it and called the dorm leaders and staff out about a lot of unsavory things they have asked her to do despite the fact they can do it themselves which took most of the leaders aback, as Quentin had done a complete 180 from her usual happy to do anything self she usually put on in front of them. and, after a few weeks of Quentin doing nothing to help and refusing any interact with school leadership meetings, the rest of the staff and dorm leaders realized she was serious and agreed to give her more say in school activities and be less of a gopher and get more respect, which Quentin was very happy about. During her time in class 1-D, she got somewhat close with Malleus Draconia, whom she was often paired with on group assignments and projects. Quentin didn't get to know Malleus not that much, but close enough that most people associated her with Malleus and by association, Lilia Vanrouge with which over the course of the school year Quentin became well acquainted with, which made her an unprompted reputation for being pretty powerful despite not showing it. Quentin also encountered Dorji at one of his worst moments and took him into Ramshackle dorm and much later became friends with him and later than that, she met Agat again and became friends with him and other than the people she met Quentin starting to make relationships with the other first years, and then the school year ended pretty quickly for Quentin and she had to go back to Andalasia. 

The Months In-between Quentin's First and Second Years: When Quentin came back from her school year, she was considered actually pretty late coming home due to Night Raven College and her original school's schedule were very different, (Night Raven took a lot more time to 'goof off' her peers say than her original high school did.) But, Quentin was still welcomed home very warmly because of how much her peers and spouses had missed her, despite her visiting on her vacations or calling or writing letters to her spouses and friends when she could. Quentin also gave her spouses pets not long after coming home because she felt they needed someone to take care for them while she was gone and her notes and calls were definitely not cutting it for them, so Quentin gifted Amiel a Malamute puppy which Amiel later named Agapi, Eadwine a Tabby cat which Eadwine later named Aziz, and Azazel a somewhat-expensive Dutch bunny which Azazel later named Chaviv which the three spouses of Quentin really appreciated since it wasn't hard to figure out why Quentin got them pets and why she was working hard to get the pets comfortable and feeling like they are a part of family. So, the three spouses got her a Persian short hair and American Bobtail cross breed which Quentin later named Carwyn that the family trained as a messenger cat (which took most of the winter break and into the school year to do). Quentin also faced a lot of criticism from the Republic of Andalasian Peoples due to her long disappearance from Andalasian spotlight, which she somehow managed to control until she left for Night Raven College for her second year.

Quentin's Second Year at Night Raven College: At the entrance ceremony, Quentin would be lying if she didn't say she'd hoped for a dorm mate with all the work she'd put in to make her dorm official, and that year she really had everything ready for another member to join. But, at about third of way into the ceremony Quentin figured she wasn't going to get any dorm mates which upset her a little and she left the ceremony unnoticed and got herself some expensive sweets from Sam's shop, whose shop was surprisingly open and Sam said he wasn't attending the ceremony this year due to some problems with his friends from the Other Side and, the two hung out for the rest of the ceremony eating sweets, giving advice and talking about their personal experience with ghosts. Which Quentin thought was really fun, and she says he'd be cool with hanging out with Sam again around entrance ceremony time as she says he's her favorite staff member at NRC. When the school year finally started, Quentin's school days weren't really eventful for the first month, until she was visited at her dorm by Malleus and Lilia, who introduced her to Silver and asked her to make them dinner which she begrudgingly did after Lilia's insistence and once Quentin made dinner, Lilia told her Silver was new to being around other humans, and asked to help him out. Which she agreed to after a quick laugh saying, "I know you two are Fae, but the way you two talk about the subject is like it's a major thing. But being human is probably something Silver already sort of knows what it means." Which really confused Malleus and got Lilia to get philosophical with her which, actually got to be a really interesting conversation as the group learned a lot about Quentin just by asking her a few questions and a couple days later, Quentin met Masawa Naran during a combined class and said something Masawa really needed to hear then, and then Quentin met Adahy Haida and Ruggie Bucchi while working with the Savanaclaw dorm leader at the time and, Quentin later became friends with Masawa and Adahy and making a decent relationship with Ruggie. She also met most of major second years and fellow third years and gained a decent standing with them. Namely Kalim Al-Asim and Jamil Viper and the Leech twins. As the teachers often asked her to help Jamil out (whom she quickly figured out was much smarter than he seemed) and got Kalim out of trouble with some Savanaclaw students teasing him once in a while and with Jamil not being into much of a place to help being a first year while holding back while trying to be diplomatic. Quentin also managed to stop Floyd in a really bad mood by at first stopping a physical fight between him and another student, and then ended up fighting with him which was a battle she somehow managed to beat Floyd which earned her the nickname Floyd calls her, 'Stingray' after he also found out she was also a dorm leader. Besides those events happening nothing much happen to Quentin Nighy-Sallow during her second year until about halfway through the school year, in the middle of one of her classes she was called out by Crowley, demanding that he needed to visit the headmaster's office and urgently. When Quentin got to the office, Crowley and the other dorm leaders had gathered together for an emergency meeting because of a group of people with a carriage claiming to be Andalasian royalty came to the front gate, and demanded for Quentin Nighy-Sallow to come with them at once and the dorm leaders questioned Quentin and what she knew about the situation, and she told them he honestly didn't what was happening and maybe he could figure out what is going on if he could speak with the group. After getting Crowley's permission, Quentin went down with the other dorm leaders to ask the people outside the gates what they wanted, and when the group got there they was comforted with Andromeda, Azazel, Eadwine and Amiel plus a few palace guards saying Quentin needed to come back to Andalasia because the political turmoil was becoming too much without her help and, without a word, the other dorm leaders simply told Quentin to go, because it didn't seem like a joke and she can deal with the paper work later. So, Quentin went off with the carriage to Andalasia, which took about a week to get to on horse, even despite the sea and in which time Quentin realized something was definitely wrong with how Andromeda, Azazel, Eadwine and Amiel were acting and talking to her and when the carriage was just outside the city and entered into it. . .only for the carriage to be busted open and Quentin to be pushed out of the carriage and into the street and then the carriage quickly ran off. While Quentin was in shock and trying to process what had happened, she was grabbed by a mob of peasants who were mocking her and calling her a slew of curse words in Andalasian and brought her to a guillotine and quickly a member of RAP gave a speech to the people that Quentin was a traitor to Andalasia and even the royalty agreed as they handed her over to them to be killed hyping up the crowd and even kicking Quentin's face a few times and calling her a sellout and just like her family: cowardly and shameless. Which caused Quentin to almost break as she kept telling herself to hold her head high and show no fear to those who don't care, but her emotions were in a flurry of anger and hurt and disappointed for being betrayed when her life was going pretty well and then Quentin's body let a few tears escaped her eyes, she claims the world froze and heard a voice speak to her, a voice that asked her why she was holding back after everything that had just happened to her, and she replied there is no point because she was going to die here the voice pointed out Quentin wasn't dead yet and that she could still break out and leave but Quentin simply shook her head and said she didn't care anymore and that everybody she once had was gone, and she's given up on fixing it because she really didn't want to live, since most of the people she cares about are already dead and her time at Night Raven College doesn't matter and then Quentin says in front of her materialized a copy of herself made of ink and in the voice she was talking to said, "So, you've lost everything you've ever had and can't bring yourself to express your feelings? Fine then. I'll do it for you." And Quentin says her world suddenly became black and she felt only her emotions and nothing else but according to the people present there and a camera recording her, after Quentin shed a few tears a darkness engulfed the area and Quentin was broken out of the guillotine with a powerful ink-like spell and a person looking exactly like Quentin appeared in front of a fearful and panicking Quentin and laughed manically yelling to the people, "So I'm a monster to you? A cowardly traitor and sellout? Fine then! I'll be the worst monster Andalasia has seen! Because none in Andalasia deserves mercy!" And then proceeded to destroy the area within endless amount of ink and bring people in and out of existence by drowning them in ink, and bringing the people back up to drowned again which went on for days as Quentin's doppelganger never seemed to run of of energy or magic as it travel through Andalasia in its’ rampage until the royal families came to the doppelganger and tried to reason with it and begging for its' forgiveness but was drowned in ink without a word from the copy of Quentin and, the rampage of the Overblotted Quentin went on for another week before a neighborhood country noticed a bunch of Mana and ink coming from Andalasia and sent some magicians to figure out what was happening and, the magicians were almost killed for their troubles as they ran into Quentin's copy and the copy wiped the floor with them when they fought it and after fighting the copy, they concluded the copy had Overblotted (from what little knowledge the time currently had) because the copy was being very emotional and destructive and had black outfit and ink around it and the local magicians retreated because none of the group had any experience in Overblotting and needed to call reinforcements from other countries and after a few weeks the countries surrounding Andalasia gathered together and made a plan that was stalling for time and evacuating Andalasia citizens until the true Overblot experts could arrive and the magicians followed their plan (despite not being able to help any Andalasian from the copy's wrath) for two weeks until the Overblot experts showed up and had a go at Quentin's doppelganger and then said the copy didn't have a shadow, which all the other Overblots did, which means the copy might not be Overblotting or something as is going on. And, the Overblot experts first concluded the copy must not be Overblotting because it had no shadow and hadn't run out of magic. So, the Overblot experts tried to talk with the copy to stop, but the doppelganger told them it wouldn't until it got its' revenge. When the Overblot experts asked what the copy meant by that, the copy explained the abusive laws made by RAP and the peasantry and what had happened to Quentin half a month ago (the betrayal by the royal lines) and, this shook the experts, as the way the copy explained the situation made it sound it was definitely in the right, and like they knew nothing about what Andalasia was really like because they were outsiders and, the Overblot experts agreed to let it finish its' revenge uninterrupted, thinking it would stop on its' own and the copy did finish rampaging on Andalasia and its' citizens and the copy was about to go into other country when it was stopped by the Overblot experts, saying that it was passing Andalasian territory and the copy said it didn't care about them and their rules and then and there the Overblot experts realized they had majorly fucked up, as that was the shadow of the Overblotted Quentin, and they needed to find the real Quentin and beat her as she may still be alive and able to be reasoned with which took the group a while to find because of how big Andalasia was and how much interference the shadow, which the Overblot experts finally named Eris to avoid confusion, was giving to the group they found Quentin still alive but hysterically crying ink and muttering something to herself and the group tried to speak with Quentin but Eris showed up and freaked Quentin out with Eris attacking so violently, making the situation worse by making Eris more powerful (which went on for most of the day) until someone decided it would be best to kill Quentin and managed to get past the shadow and landed a powerful wind spell on her which majorly hurt Quentin and got Eris to disappear, until Quentin started coughing ink which formed an ink woman who called herself Lady Ink and explained she had been waiting forever for her to be free from her host which the Overblot experts were having none of and spammed her with magic and physical attacks until she disappeared and then took the unconscious Quentin to a facility for study, and was genuinely surprised to find she was barely alive as the ink had somehow prevented her from dying, but her body was being overloaded with ink that needed to be expelled or Quentin would die but, instead of giving her the treatment themselves, the experts handed Quentin over to a group known as The Worldwide Overblot Research Society, which was a part of the Cult of Mana, a dangerous cult who believes Mana will save the races of Twisted Wonderland from total annihilation. The Overblot experts instead took the Andalasian royalty and all the members of RAP and interrogated the two sides about Quentin's claims about abusive laws, which were found to be true. Meanwhile the Worldwide Overblot Research Society took wonderful care of getting the ink out of Quentin's body, which took a month plus a week and a half to do, and a more few days before Quentin actually woke up from her coma. In which coma Quentin describes being on the Other Side with her family and visiting the Night Raven College to check on her peers and friends and she only woke up thanks to her family insisting she keep living because she had a chance out of Andalasia. When Quentin woke up from her coma, she was in an isolated facility and was treated like a glass doll for a couple of weeks, which she hated more than anything else because of how much the staff were really coddling and being kiss-asses and really treating her with less respect than a child gets. But which she eventually learned to deal with and manipulate to her advantage as, she learned that most people in the facility treat her like a child to 'make her feel at home' or because they where genuinely frighten of what she could do. Which she definitely used against the facility's staff and in a pretty short amount of time, she learned she was very trapped with a less dangerous part of a cult and really had no way to escape with a third party involvement or a really good plan but, there was some other people with Quentin that were not the staff that almost seemed to be in a similar state to her own, who explained to that basically, they're stuck in this facility until the staff loses interest or when they die. Which, Quentin was not happy about and planned to escape until she received a visit from Crowley, who spoke to her through a mirror and asked what the situation was with the facility, to which, Quentin explained she was basically fucked because she won't be able to leave to which, Crowley said he'd help her get out and than left, which Quentin took as a sign he wasn't going to help her quickly. Then, a few days later she received another visit from Malleus, Lilia and Silver who said he was all over the news and was currently being searched for by most news sources for a scoop on the situation and looked for him because he had really worried them. Which Quentin scoffed at saying, "Sure. It's being blasted on the news that I'm missing after Overblotting, why the hell would you guy else be here?" Which ticked Lilia off who cupped her cheeks and told her, "Child, I understand you aren't used to having genuine relationships with others, but you don't get to talk like that when you almost died a few weeks ago and dissapeared to the rest of world, understand?" Which Quentin nodded at Lilia's sudden paternal talk. And the group of students got on to talking about Quentin's current situation, and what the world thought had happened to her, which each part lots of good information. Afterword the exchange, Malleus agreed to visit Quentin more often despite her and Lilia's protests about his well being and school grades. After the Diasomnia group left, she was secretly visited by her teachers, friends and spouses and her older sister and her family while Quentin was sleeping. Than, for a while, nothing happened to her and she gave up on escaping. Then Quentin's daily routine was changed completely and she gain a little bit more freedom than that change became boring and that turned to weeks, to months and than something came up. A new school year was going to begin and since Quentin was considered no longer missing, but under the protection of the Worldwide Overblot Research Society, Quentin needed to finish her second year at Night Raven College. Which the WORS denied until they faced lots of pressure from the staff at NRC, news outlets, and even from lackeys inside complaining that Quentin was a handful to take care of and soon caved into the pressure and agreed to let Quentin go to finish her second year. Well, not without some sort of protection, and sent a observer to 'look after her' which was one of their really brainwashed cult members as a first year to spy on her. 

Quentin's Role in the Main Story: She is mostly a mother figure and advisor to her dorm mates and the first year squad. She does help with the story sometimes, but not by too much most of the time. As the story goes on, more is learned about Quentin and her personality. 

Prologue: Quentin is first seen making a comment about Crowley and his habit of doing whatever he wants while standing on the sidelines and later is surprised at Grim's overconfidence into getting into Night Raven College and putting out Kalim's butt fire after asking him to calm down and later calling Azul a kiss-ass. Quentin is later mentioned by Crowley as a kind student who lives in Ramshackle dorm by himself, and who will live with MC while they are there and is officially in Chapter 5 of the prologue after being passive-aggressive being told she doesn't really have a choice but to let MC in and agrees to make them dinner for the day. When Grim came into the dorm after being kicked out, Quentin seemed more annoyed with Grim's attitude than scared or nervous of him. She also introduced what combat would like to the MC and Grim who were scared by the dorm ghosts which Grim that picked a fight with. After Grim and MC's display of working together, she was genuinely so shocked she didn't see Crowley come in with food, and then explained what had happened and after another night with the help of MC convinces him to let the two stay because of the potential this event had but complained when the two were made handyman. Quentin wasn't present when Grim and MC woke up as the ghosts said he went to run some errands but left behind the two breakfast, but she did later show up at the end of the Prologue when she throws a feast for the first year squad for not getting expelled and for her two now official dorm mates for finally getting into Night Raven College.

Chapter 1: Quentin is first seen with Ace at Ramshackle's front door after letting him in. After she learns the situation, laughs at Ace's decision for stealing a tart but agrees to let him stay the night, and when Deuce comes to speak with Ace offered the first year squad breakfast. She also agreed to go with the group to Heartslabyul due to Ace's insistence on her coming as a safety net in case things got bad. She spoke with Cater a bit after he speaks with the first years, then says she needs to leave early because her first class is really far away from here. Quentin is seen again after the delinquent Heartslabyul students run off, saying he is happy he didn't have to step in because they could defend themselves. She speaks with Trey and Cater for a bit when they first came to the group before helping them explain the dorms and the general type of people in them. When Riddle appears to the group and Ace says something rude she tries to soften Riddle's mood, and when Riddle leaves calls him a stick in the mud, which Trey and Cater call harsh. When Trey offers to make the first years a month blanc to make up for Riddle's tart, Quentin agrees to help out and later partially pays when Deuce has to go to the school store. Quentin agrees to let Ace and Deuce stay in her dorm for the night, tells Trey and Cater he'll clean up and the two should go because she heard that some people got collared by Riddle today. Quentin goes to the Unbirthday Party at Grim and Ace's requests, and got a some want different outfit that is similar to Grim's bow that seemed to be modeled after the Ace of Spades. Quentin doesn't do anything while the first year squad rejects Riddle's behavior, which angers Riddle when she says that he will kick his butt if he touches the first year squad because they're giving him criticism, and later yelled at by Riddle when the first years are kicked out which she does not take lying down and gets into a fight with Riddle about his treatment of his fellow dormmates saying it's emotional abuse, which she later leaves for after a bunch of Heartslabyul students gather around to watch and she sees Trey and Cater's face of fear. Quentin does come to Ace and Deuce's challenge for dorm leader, at the two's request and to keep an eye on Grim during the battle. Which Riddle takes as hostility and collars her which Crowley demands Riddle take it off as she only there to watch over Grim. Which Riddle says he'll once the challenge is over. After Ace and Deuce lost and antagonizes Riddle until he Overblots, she helps the Heartslabyul student evacuate and then fights Riddle after being uncollared by Trey's magic. When Riddle came to his sense, Quentin stayed very close to him, even in the infirmary. She doesn't stop Ace from demanding an apologize from Riddle though. Quentin is also at the Revenge Unbirthday Party and gets a good laugh out of Riddle's tart, and she gives some information about Royal Sword Academy and Che'nya when he appears and after she comments Che'nya cares about Riddle and Trey if he came so far just for sweets. 

Chapter 2: Quentin is first seen at the headmaster's office after the first year squad was summoned by Crowley, saying he called here as well and helped Crowley explain Overblots, but mostly the part about its consequences on people. Crowley asks Quentin to fight her juniors which she does without too much complaint and shows the group her magical pen, which had some blot in it. Quentin later sighs when the Inter-Dorm Magical Shift Tournament is mentioned, saying he's going deal with all the hard work since the other dorms will claim they are busy. But Quentin asks Grim and MC if they would like try out for Magift but then is shut down by Crowley, saying her dorm still don't have enough members to play. Quentin is later seen at the dorm leader's Magical Shift meeting tagging unto Riddle's comment about Pomefiore, saying it never falls to amaze her what that dorm will do for 'beauty' and later calls Azul shade con man after he announces late fees. When Crowley makes the proposal for Malleus to be excluded from that year's Magical Shift Tournament and Leona refuses, she tells him that's he doing more work than he has to do if Malleus consented to it, and is shut up by Leona and Vil. When Idia asks if he is the only one who finds the idea alright, she says they've been outnumbered. Quentin is later seen coming into Grim and the ghosts playing Magical Shift and says he'll play too. When Crowley comes and tells the Ramshackle residents about the mysterious  accidents and then says he can get the group into the tournament she calls that underhanded tactic but agrees when Grim insists on doing it she relents. After Trey is injured In one of the accidents and gets a testimony from him, she semi figures out that Ruggie is the one behind it but has no proof since she only barely knows about Ruggie's unique magic from Ruggie mentioning it. Quentin agrees to let Heartslabyul help her dorm out and is impressed with Cater information gathering skills and compliments him for it. When the group runs into the Leech twins while investigating, she laughs at Floyd's comment about hide and seek, and later when the group is running from the Leech twins and when Grim asks who those two were, through her laughing she says in Andalasian that they're in the school's mafia. Then when the group visits Jack, and he says he won't be targeted Quentin somewhat figures out what is happening with the incidents, farther proved by Adahy, who was nearby Jack and said to Quentin he'll be busy for a while and he's sorry for that, but he got her a huge box of macrons to make up for it. Quentin speaks with Leona and Ruggie when they show up, saying his group there to hide from Azul and Crowley whose probably going to make them work. Which, Ruggie comments hard that must be, then Leona says he'll let the group hide longer if they play a few rounds of Magical Shift with him. Which, Quentin didn't much say before Grim pounced on the chance to play. During the Magift in Savanaclaw, she was pretty much holding the team with her decent skills and tactics but was quickly tired out after most of the Savanaclaw students targeted her, and is then defeated. Quentin is the seen the next day with her dorm mates talking about MC's encounter with Malleus, which she figures probably visited last night but doesn't tell the truth but gives away that she knows what happened by making a snorting sound trying to suppress a laugh but says it was a sneeze before Cater and Riddle show up and walk with the group to the cafeteria and says they are looking for Jamil Viper, who Quentin says he knows where Jamil is because Jamil asked him to help Kalim with an upcoming assignment last night. When the group gets to Jamil and Kalim's spot, Quentin is very warmly greeted by Kalim and Jamil and then notices the people behind her and she says her juniors wanted to ask Jamil about his injury then sat next to Kalim to help him with his homework. Which the two didn't do until the group hurriedly left and finished and managed to find the group and Jack, Ace and Deuce before Riddle spilled his plan to the group. Quentin is next seen when Jack visits her dormmates at their dorm and offers Jack a snack, which he denies. When her dorm finally arrives at the food stalls outside the stadium, she mentions she's glad not not have done too much work this year and how good the food smells. Quentin is present when Savanaclaw is busted with the major Diasomnia members and Cater, and Sebek mentions Quentin helped Malleus evacuate the bystanders after Ruggie used his magic on some of them. When Leona throws in the towel in the towel and gives up on his plan and the rest of Savanaclaw questions why, Quentin says there is no point in changing Leona's mind because he is useless when he gives up and doesn't understand the concept of fighting til the end, which pisses Leona off enough to use Lion's Roar on her and Ruggie and call her an entitled piece of shit. When Quentin sees that Ruggie’s arm has been injured, she ran over to Ruggie and knocked back Leona in the process to try to heal Ruggie’s arm with what healing magic she knew, which temporarily stopped Ruggie’s arm from fully disintegrating. When Jack pulls out his unique magic, Quentin seems genuinely surprised and comments that to be able to shapeshift into a wolf as a unique magic really is a gift, especially during the time they are in. Quentin uses her unique magic and figures out Leona is about to Overblot after Riddle makes a comment on how Leona should go and calm down and she screams at Leona to use his head not his emotions to fight which seems to pisses Leona off at least somewhat because he tells her to shut the hell up. Then, after Lilia makes a comment about Leona’s current standing as a prince and the ground rumbles, Quentin screams at everyone to get back and be prepared for anything. She also pulls out her magic pen to fight and is one of the first to fight with Leona, but when Ruggie stands up, she seems to switch priorities to make sure she can both stop Ruggie’s arm from crumbling and fighting Leona. When the battle is over, Leona hears Quentin calling for him to wake up, and when he fully wakes up has Grim pushing for Leona to confess his dorm’s actions which Quentin sighs about saying Grim is really desperate. Later when the injured people make their proposal to let Savanaclaw stay in the Inter-Dorm Tournament, she says she was originally against letting Savanaclaw in, but if the victims want the dorm in for revenge than she’s fine with it. Quentin also sighs at Crowley proposal for her dorm to play in an exhibition match saying it  must’ve really been hard to think of on the spot but is better than going up against the teachers earning a few comments from the major characters, namely Jamil and Riddle. Quentin plays well during the exhibition match with Grim, Ace and Deuce as a leader but when MC was knocked out the group says Quentin immediately stopped playing and went to MC’s side to heal them. When MC wakes up, she is close by Ruggie and Leona saying the nurse told him to watch them. When the Savanaclaw students discuss next year’s game plan for Savanaclaw, Quentin says Leona doesn’t have much morality so there’s no point in arguing. When Cheka comes, after Grim’s comment she calls Cheka a precious little cutie and laughs at the group’s comment about Leona but does tell Cheka to be careful with Leona when he’s in the bed. 

Chapter 3: Quentin is first mentioned by Ace for being irresponsible for letting Grim do whatever he wants, then by Crowley when he is threatening MC with the dorm’s budget, saying it’s getting to be too much for him from Quentin to constantly pull out his own bank account. When Grim first come back with an anemone on his head Quentin seems to not care about it, but in reality she knows what Grim did but her old habit of ignoring things comes up. Later Quentin is insulted by Grim for not being a great dorm leader and how MC is better at leading than her to kiss up to MC. Azul insults Quentin when MC makes a deal with him saying she’s basically a pushover for MC, and writes in the contract Quentin cannot be asked for help and if MC loses Quentin basically has nowhere to go. Quentin is first seen when Jade and Floyd appear to take away the dorm, and after explaining to her what had happened and mocked her for having pathetic dorm mates, she is seeming calm and level headed but the characters state there’s a really scary aura around her but she mutters swears in Andalasian a few times while speaking with Jade and Floyd, who ask if he want to fight them for the dorm back but she tells them no but thanks them for the offer and then quickly mutters that they are the trash of the school. When the Ramshackle dorm residents are officially kicked out, she actually shows her anger by swearing in common a few times but doesn’t scold MC or Grim despite Jack commenting she probably should with the really scary aura she has. Once MC and Grim have a place to stay and Deuce asks her if she’ll be alright, Quentin says he will, he’ll figure something out but first needs to take out his anger in a healthy manner before Jade and Floyd get to it so he’ll it’ll probably be a while before she contacts the two again, but she wishes them best of luck. When MC and Grim are at Savanaclaw’s morning training Leona mentions afterwards Quentin called him to fill him in on her dorm’s situation in case the first years didn’t. Later, Jade mentions Quentin is in the Scarabia dorm with Masawa and has made no attempt to contact her dorm mates or Savanaclaw, so they rule her out as a threat. Quentin is then seen much later, in Mostro Lounge by subtly messing with the servers and pretending to be clumsy and tripping the servers and workers when she gets up from her seat. Then Quentin is seen with Ruggie and Leona when Leona is about to break the contracts. After Leona and Ruggie aren’t bribed, Azul tries to bribe Quentin which she call him a slimy con man and asking him if he really expects him to take something as stupid of a tactic as that when he’s insulted her multiple time and messed with her juniors and thought he could get away with it with his stupid smug smile. And when Azul was muttering about his old, clumsy self she realized what was going to happen she told Azul to calm the hell down before he does something really stupid which he tell immediately her to shut up for her trouble. When Azul starts to steal abilities, Quentin tells everyone else to evacuate the area, and temporarily puts Azul in an magical barrier with her, Leona and Ruggie, which seems to take a lot of her but later when Jade, Floyd and the first year squad showed up was able to stabilize the barrier long enough for the group to win against Azul. When Azul comes to his sense, Quentin is somewhat close by. Close enough to be close Azul to tell if he’s alright but a decent distance away from the twins and Azul. Quentin also congratulates on her juniors on their hard work for completing Azul’s task out of spite, and Azul’s embarrassment saying he really is a touched starved man, which Azul really seems at a loss as to what to say about it. Quentin also says she’s never really seen the sea before except in picture and Floyd insists on her coming to the museum as well. Quentin also is somewhat present when Malleus appears a second time, as she calls MC inside for dinner after Silver and Sebek leave. The next day, Floyd and Jade mention Quentin is with Azul already at the museum, and once the group get there, Floyd seems to dragging Quentin around showing her the objects in the museum. When she encounters her juniors, she says Floyd’s overly joyful attitude tires him out and seems happy to go to Mostro Lounge for some food and when she hears what has happened to it, says Azul really doesn’t change but just changes tactics and sometimes it impresses him how far Azul really goes as a businessman   

Chapter 4: Quentin is first seen in the first chapter talking to the ghosts about winter break, which she says she’s staying at school this year for due to issues with her other place which MC and Grim overhear when they come down and ask about but Quentin quickly changes the subject about. When the first years are found talking to each other, they mention Quentin is speaking with a group of five people who then go through the mirror one by one and then try to quickly change subjects when she comes over to their group, which happens before Ruggie rushes through with his food. Quentin says goodbye to most people besides Jade and Floyd, who she says he’d better not get buddy-buddy with him during the break. Quentin is also present when Grim demands to know to food situation for their dorm and calls Crowley a really unhelpful man for not thinking ahead and Grim easy to please after Crowley’s list of foods he’ll send if they put in the firewood. She also get MC’s Magicam number, and Ace and Deuce says they already have his. When Grim comments how Ace and Deuce doesn’t shut up, she says he has no right to speak because he’s no different. When the Ramshackle residents encounter Jamil and the Scarabia students, she’s defiantly surprised a bunch of people are here because nobody told her about it but still greet the Scarabia students nicely. Once the minor Scarabia students notice Quentin, they ask her to help them out with the food, and she does while Jamil speaks with MC and Grim. When the food is done, she is about to help carry out the food before she tells her dorm mates they don’t have to come to Scarabia if they don’t want to, but she’s probably going to go to the party because she’s carrying food. She’s later seen at the party speaking with the Scarabia students with Masawa nearby, and when she notices her dorm mates she goes over to them and says the food is really good, so they should eat what they think looks good. She seemed confused when Kalim seemed aggressive about him not being aware of guests, as well as the whole dorm being on edge. She gives a explanation on how she knows Kalim and Jamil when Kalim comes from behind and hugs her, saying he and Kalim are in the same class, and Jamil will often ask for his help if Kalim won’t listen to him. Later, when Kalim goes to the treasure vault he says he showed Quentin it not too long ago, and is mentioned by Jamil that he’s been waiting for them for dinner to start. Quentin is then seen later when Kalim, Grim and MC come back in the dining hall speaking with Masawa, and when Kalim comes into the room hypnotized and says the dorm needs more training and Ramshackle is staying, Quentin is seen somewhat panicking. As, she realizes what is going on but is trying not to let Jamil see. As, she knows about Jamil’s unique magic from Kalim, Jamil and her exchanging their unique magics because Kalim said he wanted to see Quentin’s. Later, Quentin is seen in a separate room than Grim and MC’s which seemed slightly more decorated, heavily breathing and holding her magic pen. The next day, Quentin is seen with an umbrella right behind Jamil and seemed distressed which Jamil and Grim commented on, but she says was because she didn’t sleep well due to a nightmare. When Kalim made it rain, she seemed to calm down a bit, but got distressed when Kalim fell under hypnosis later in the day. The next day, she seems worried about her junior’s lack of sleep despite her not looking much better than them, and lets MC and Grim drink most of her water and Grim stand on her shoulder during the break before Kalim knocks him off her shoulder and says they are marching again. Quentin was present at the meeting about Kalim’s behavior with Masawa nearby her, and while she didn’t say anything but she seemed very, very stressed and had lukewarm reactions to things Jamil said to the group. When Kalim under hypnosis comes in and gives the group more work and calls Quentin a lazy nobleman just before she gets in her room and has a panic attack right as her dorm mates escape, causing lots of wild magic to occur, and why only a few people chase Grim and MC to Octavinelle and as MC and Grim’s escape cause a huge wind you see Quentin in her panicked state with Jamil and Kalim looking upset and confused as to what to do. When MC and Grim come back with the Octavinelle trio Quentin is wearing a new set of clothes, and seems surprised and upset the trio is in Scarabia. When Jade asks why she’s wearing Scarabia like clothes, she says she’ll explain later. When Azul, Jade and Floyd mutter to themselves about how they wanted to stay in Scarabia, she calls the three drama queens. Later in the day, Quentin is seen in the same room as her dorm mates and the Octavinelle trio, explains she had a panic attack when Grim and MC escaped, which his friend Masawa managed to help him calm down from and when discussing Kalim’s attitude, she says he’s definitely under some spell but doesn’t say it’s Jamil’s, mostly because she has no proof. And when the group makes their plan to make Kalim spill the truth, Quentin goes with Grim and MC and plays Mancala with MC until Grim asks for her to play with him so he can him. When Jade and Jamil had an angry exchange, Quentin did try to calm the two down but that didn’t work. Quentin is next seen helping Floyd with breakfast and when she spot Jamil says he’s sorry for stealing kitchen supplies without permission but he honestly wanted to help him out. For most of the day, Quentin is seen near Jamil looking confused as to why he is so angry but doesn’t say anything, besides when Azul and Kalim are talking about recipes from the Land of Hot Sands, which she says that was the most moral thing Azul has done in a while, which Azul comments was mean to say. Then, after Jamil and Azul go off to make tea and Jade announces to Jamil Azul’s been livestreaming this whole time, Quentin appears with Kalim, looking very angry and with her menacing aura with her, but lets Kalim speak with Jamil and protectively stands near Kalim when Jamil announces he hates Kalim and wishes he’d die. When Floyd reveals he traded his unique magic for a new voice, Quentin is seen very creeped out by it, and expresses she hates it. Quentin also defends Kalim from the hoard of hypnotized Scarabia students, which looks difficult for her trying to get Kalim to stay back and push the other students knocked back. When Quentin, her dorm mates, the Octavinelle trio and Kalim get thrown to the end of the desert, she sustains some what bad injuries but seemed more concerned about Kalim’s well being. She does heal herself before Kalim whips up a river and gets on Floyd, but she does say that it’s kinda mean to dog pile on Kalim after he just got betrayed, but he does agree with the group. When the group gets back, she some what seductively says Jamil is very intelligent after Jade, and fights Jamil saying Jamil is going to get his butt kicked for giving him a panic attack. When Jamil wakes up, Kalim and Quentin are close by him and she seems some what happy that Jamil is awake. Later, when Kalim offers Jamil an equal standing and Jamil denies it, Quentin calls him a hypocrite for having what he wants in the palm of his hand and than denying it. At the parade Quentin is seen decently energetic and laughs at Jamil’s tsundereness, and at the party is very excited about swimming in a pool, as she says it has been a while since she’s been in a pool. When Ace and Deuce show up, Quentin offers the first years food next to Jade and Azul and thanks them for coming all this way. Quentin is then later seen calling the MC in for the feast after Lilia gave them a card.

Chapter 5: First seen entering Yuu and Grim’s room after knocking, and comments about how cold it is with Grim adding onto it, and after Grim comments about Yuu staring at the mirror she agrees with him and asks the two to come down for breakfast at it’s getting cold. She is also seen with the first year squad at the start of the year when the group meets each other at Main Street she greets Ace and Deuce and later asks what Yuu means by dreams which Yuu says is nothing which Quentin doesn’t seem to believe. Quentin is later seen at the Dorm Leader meeting regarding the National Inter-High School Culture Festival, and is only seen making reactions to the others character, like when Azul describes Vil’s occupation and comments on his influence, which Quentin adds unto saying Vil’s so popular he probably has his own paparazzi in almost every news station, which gets a reaction out of Riddle. Later on, Quentin comments on Neige LeBlanche saying he’s the one person you’re bound to find out about if you have connection to the internet since his face is everywhere and it’s honestly starting to annoy her. Riddle comments that Quentin has already offered to help him with his work on the Festival when Azul offers his own help and comments Quentin won’t ask for ludicrious things like Azul will, which Azul says hurts him and is Quentin later seen sighing in annoyance at Idia complaining about being on stage. Quentin is next seen with Crowley, asking him to let go of his arm and let him eat his lunch. When Crowley explains to the first years why there’s such a big cash prize for the Vocal and Dance Championship, Quentin says it’s actually because they need to get the schools’ attention somehow and their all big companies so they have money to throw around. When Grim speaks to Yuu and Quentin about participating in VDC, Quentin while she doesn’t seem like it, agrees to do so. Quentin is next mentioned by Ace right after being beaten by Vil, asking if Quentin is the exception to some rule that all the dorm leaders have to be complete assholes, which Deuce seems to wonder as well. Quentin is later seen with the first years in the school’s gym while they are practicing, even being seen in the rhythmic cheering the first years on. When the first years are talking about Vil’s behavior and how Epel has been acting, Quentin comments that if what is going on is really happening from what she understands of the rumors, Vil is going to be in huge trouble. When Kalim and Jamil appear, she greets them decently well, and is greeted warmly by Kalim and greeted decently by Jamil. When Kalim unknowingly insults the first year’s dancing skills, Quentin says that is rather harsh. Jamil asks her about what she’s doing here if she’s not really doing anything, to which Quentin responds with she was asked to because they wanted moral support and to ask her something. After Kalim and Jamil dance with the first years, Quentin congratulations the group for their work and thanks Jamil and Kalim for helping the first years. Later on, when Kalim offers Jamil’s help despite Jamil’s own hesitance, Quentin offers to help Kalim with his schoolwork and Scarabia as well he will do it, which Jamil smugly agrees to before sighing about how Kalim set him up for this. When Azul appears to inform Jamil it’s his turn to help the teacher, Grim speaks with Yuu and Quentin about Scarabia and Jamil’s current status, which the dorm leader comments she hopes isn’t the case before Azul comes into the conversation saying it’s true, which Quentin comments is rude of him to butt in. Quentin also comments with how smug Azul is currently about the situation, means the situation of Jamil’s dorm not really liking him must be true. When Azul mentions money is more powerful then magic, Quentin is noticeably upset by this statement, despite not saying anything. When Grim comments on Jamil’s personality change, Quentin points out the same could be said for Riddle by Grim’s logic. When Azul offers Jamil a place in Octavinelle, Jamil refuses saying he’s honestly rather be in Ramshackle and Quentin comments she can’t see Jamil wearing Octavinelle’s dorm uniform too well. Quentin is next seen again in the gym encouraging the group, even being present in the rhythmic cheering. When the group is asked about if they’ve signed up or not, Jamil asks why Quentin didn’t tell them, to which she says been super busy helping out someone she knows who is really having a hard time, so she forgot. When Jamil describes Rook to the first years to help them find him for VDC, Quentin says to not worry much about the appearance of the guy since he sticks out like a sore thumb, which Jamil agrees to, and if they need help there is probably someone in the class who can help them. Ace mentions Quentin after the four give their performances on the audition day, asking if he will mind if they drop by Ramshackle to hang out, which the group does. Quentin is also mention in Rook’s letter, asking Ace and Deuce to bring him as well. Quentin is next seen with the first year squad at Pomefiore’s gate, and when Kalim asks the group what Quentin is doing here since he didn’t sign up Quentin says Rook gave him a cut on the arm for a message saying he and Vil needed to see her. After the Pomefiore students show up to fight the group Quentin is seen very ticked off and when one of the students throws a glove at the glove telling them the pick it up, Quentin burn it telling him she has no time for them and demands them to move. When the group ends up in Pomefiore’s lounge with two more students before they are hit from the back and knocked, to which Dorji Medusa appears and after asking what’s happening and getting a brief understanding of what’s happening agrees to help the group get to the ballroom saying he knows the other candidates aren’t dealing with this. When the candidates for VDC, Yuu, Quentin and Dorji come to the empty ballroom and Vil decides to speak up, Quentin is the first to speak, first calling him a pompous holier-than-thou narcissist in Andalasian and then calmly asking why he felt it was necessary for Rook to give him a cut on the arm and destroy his soft drink for which when Vil gives his explanation, Quentin is not happy but says nothing. When Grim calls out his, Yuu and Quentin’s presence despite aren’t explained yet, to which Crowley comes in and explains, which Quentin is so upset with the room says her aura changed to a scarier one and she starts muttering something angrily in Andalasian until a frighten Yuu snapped her out of it by asking what the matter was which got Quentin to switch back and apologize saying she’s just a little upset. Quentin then calls out Crowley and Vil for not asking her permission for this, which the two move on from until Grim calls Crowley out for it, which Crowley bribes the dorm with money for, which Quentin tells him that he isn’t going to save his skin by buying their approval, which then Vil speaks up for giving his and Rook’s money, Quentin still isn’t happy until Crowley brings up he’ll help with Ramshackle’s plumbing, and after a few minutes Quentin agrees under the condition the VDC members have to follow her rules and she reserves the right to deal with those who disrespect her, which Crowley and the VDC members agree to and saying she’s only doing it for Grim and Yuu’s sake. She calls Crowley a duplicitous scumbag in Andalasian as well, and when asked what she said by Crowley, she says she was talking to herself. Later, When the VDC members show up to Ramshackle dorm, Quentin is actually pretty polite with everyone. . . Except Vil, whom she is passive aggressive towards. Like when Vil walked into the building and said it was better than he expected, she comments that she’s glad to meet his expectations. When Deuce gives Trey’s gift to Quentin, saying Trey wanted to give Ramshackle something for dealing with Ace and Deuce, Quentin is actually seems pretty surprised at this and happily says she’ll figure out how to thank Trey for this later. Right after Vil say he’s going to confiscate it, Quentin passive-aggressively reminds him that this isn’t his dorm, and he is disrespecting her, which Vil says he’ll explain his reasoning when the group is in the lounge. After Vil searches everyone’s bag and gets to Rook’s and apologizes for invading his privacy, Quentin quietly mocks Vil’s hypocrisy but when Vil asks what she said she simply states she forgot to buy something, so she’ll need to get it later. After Grim asks Vil if those rules apply to him, Yuu and Quentin, to which Vil responds by saying he doesn’t care as long as it doesn’t effect the VDC members, Quentin sighs to herself. But, when Rook tries to defend Vil saying that wasn’t his intention, Quentin mutters how Rook is Vil’s kiss-ass and how that’s so untrue it makes her sick. Before Vil takes his phone call from his manager, he does ask for Quentin’s permission which she gives and sits down in the rocking chair, and appears to be listening in on the conversation, like Rook. Later on, Vil calls Yuu a manager, and Quentin a Co-Producer when he asks Yuu to start the music and Yuu seems confused on who he’s referring to. When Vil needs to show a video to the group but a Neige commercial comes on, Quentin calls it “Stan-Bait”. Later on when Vil seen speaking with Mira in Ramshackle, Quentin is seen nearby and simply says “Ah, of course.” When Vil and Epel have the first argument seen in the chapter, Quentin is noticeably on edge for and very alert when the fight starts. Quentin also steps in-between the two telling Vil to calm down because Epel grew up in a different place than he did and Vil needs to respect that, which than Kalim jumps in and simply encourages Epel to keeps dancing, which Vil later puts words in Kalim’s mouth saying Kalim agrees with Vil, but Quentin calls Vil out on putting words in Kalim’s mouth and calling out Vil’s standards of Epel is completely unrealistic and putting pressure on something he clearly doesn’t want, which Vil ignores. Rook mentions Quentin after the lesson is done, saying he’s excited to see what he’ll cook today. On the walk back to Ramshackle dorm, Quentin tells the group they did good work before the group starts to complain. Grim mentions Quentin when he comments how hungry he is, demanding he make food as soon as possible, which she agrees to in an joking manner. When Rook mentions if he’d try to protect Vil, he’d get stepped on, Quentin says Rook’s definitely a bottom, which gets a few comments from the characters. When the group starts to speak about about they didn’t like dinner, Jamil comments he thought Quentin’s cooking was pretty good, which Deuce agrees to, saying it’s not their fault the diets of the VDC members are so different. When the doorbell rings for Epel’s hometown delivery, Quentin is heard saying she’s coming from the kitchen and answers the door before the group does, and when the ghosts asks to set in Ramshackle dorm, Quentin says yes to. Jamil later asks if the boxes can be moved to the lounge, which Quentin agrees to.  After Quentin gets a taste of the apple juice, Quentin’s face really lights up and seems really amazed and says Epel’s hometown is really skilled at their work, and says she can feel the blood, sweat, and tears put in by the town and is amazed at their work. Later on, when Vil announces the bedtime, Grim whispers if it applies to Ramshackle, Quentin says it doesn’t. When Deuce asks what a skincare routine is, Quentin it’s basically what you do with your skin, mostly focusing around the face. When Deuce comments about the so many steps, Quentin comments that this is without makeup, and with makeup it gets even more complicated. When Yuu and Grim hear Kalim practicing outside at night, they pass by Quentin who is putting away the apple juice in the kitchen and doesn’t see them passing by. Later on, Ace mentions Quentin saying she did her best for dinner, but he’s still hungry. After Vil beats up the first years and Ace, Deuce and Grim are paralyzed by Vil’s unique magic and before Yuu leaves, Quentin appears in the lounge passive-aggressively asking what has happened with an aura that Yuu thinks is super scary. Which Vil is about to speak up and say something before he loses the ability to speak, and then Quentin asks the firsts years what happened, which they tell her what happened and Quentin is visibly seen angry, with her Grim commenting her eyes are glowing in the dark. Quentin than closes her eyes, and asks Yuu to take Grim to their room and stay there for the night, which Yuu questions, which she says in a voice that sounds sympathetic and motherly with a sad smile that she doesn’t want anyone else to be in the crossfire of her animosity towards Vil disrespecting her. Which Yuu agrees to, even giving to choice to say, “Yes, Dorm Leader.” which seems to make Quentin happy. Quentin take Ace and Deuce to their rooms, after promising Deuce she won’t hurt Vil. On her way to the lounge, she encounters Jamil, who asks what’s happening and Quentin says she’s going to set up a silence barrier so she can let her feelings on Vil’s disrespecting everyone at VDC and wake anyone up, since she says she’s so close to hitting Vil. Jamil, after a few moments of silence, says he’ll turn a blind eye since she has no intentions of hurting Kalim, but he’s staying nearby to see what she can do, and incase she goes off the deep end, which Quentin thanks him for and says she owes him one for. Quentin then goes into the lounge, and Vil is able to speak, to which comments that was rude of Quentin to do, since that spell won’t let him speak or move, to which Quentin snaps back, saying it’s fitting on how he forces others to bend to his will because he’s insecure and doesn’t understand the meaning respect, which seems to hit Vil really hard. The two dorm leader get into an intense verbal argument, getting personal and revealing a lot about Quentin’s past and her time at Night Raven College. But eventually, Vil has a breakdown and starts to cry saying Quentin has no idea what he’s been through to get here, to which Quentin replies Vil hasn’t had to live as an Andalasian nobleman and see the true horrors of humanity can bring, so if anyone in this room, she deserves more pity than him purely on where she was born and the fact she’s standing at Night College right now. To which, Vil is silence for a while, says he had good intentions, to which Quentin at first denies, saying his actions don’t add up in the long run and he’s trying to BS his way out of the situation, but after more fighting, Quentin eventually gives up on questioning Vil’s intentions and Vil’s actions, and says she’ll give him one more chance to prove his intentions. She says he needs to change his behavior and treat the people around him better, but if he doesn’t, she’ll ban him from Ramshackle dorm and do everything in her power to make VDC a living nightmare for him like he’s done for the members. And then she breaks the barrier and tries to leave the area before Rook comes upon the scene and asks what happened, to which Quentin stops walking, turns to Rook and simply says in a menacing tone, “I was mad and yelled at Vil for pushing his limits.” which seems to frighten Rook. And she then leaves with Jamil in tow, who also seems a little frightened. After which, Rook is seen trying to comfort Vil, but is pushed away by Vil who goes to his room, visibly shaken. This event adds to Vil’s Blot indicator, as well as seems to shake Vil up. The next day in the ballroom, Kalim is the first to notice something is up with Quentin, which he talks about, and Ace, Deuce, Grim and Yuu agree on and the group asks what happened, to which Jamil says it should be discussed behind closed doors, and he’ll explain later, to which Grim and Ace then switches to the topic of Vil’s unique magic. Afterword that conversation, Quentin walks into the room with Vil and Rook not far behind. Noticeably, Vil words his sentences nicer, and doesn’t boss Quentin around, but regardless, he still gets into a fight with Epel. Quentin steps in at first, telling Vil to knock it off, to which Vil angerly tells her to shut up. And, for most of the fight, she is, though, the characters comment Quentin looks like she’s about to explode with animosity. Until Deuce rushes out after Vil scolds him and Ace adds fuel to the fire, which after Deuce leaves the room Quentin slams Vil into the large mirror, which scares those still in the room, and Quentin simply says, “I figured you wouldn’t change. After all, your insecurity is out of control and you don’t seem to have any means of controlling it. But, that’s fine. I’ll make you change. If I see or hear you went near my dorm without my explicit permission, I’ll send you to the nurse and Dorji’s temporary position will become permanent for a while. If you do anything like this again or I hear of anything like this, more than your nurse visits will increase. Are we crystal clear, Vil?” After which, she leaves the ballroom, with the others in tow. She comforts Kalim and everyone else and explains her reasoning about what she said, saying she won’t kill him and she was just really, really mad back there because she really scared Kalim and everyone else in the room. Later, Quentin is seen outside Pomefiore dorm with Yuu and Grim speaking with Deuce, handing Deuce a drink and listening to Deuce’s troubles before Kalim and Rook come to comfort Deuce, which she helps with in saying Deuce’s weaknesses can be his strengths if he tries to learn from them when Deuce asks what Rook’s advice means. Quentin also seen with Yuu and Grim comparing Ace and Deuce, to which Quentin says Grim, Ace and Deuce are all in the same boat in her opinion, which Grim angrily questions. She’s also mentioned by Vil, saying he’s already mad as doesn’t want to make the situation worse. Jamil also mentions Quentin, saying that the group already has a problem with Vil and Quentin being on bad terms. Quentin is later seen after the two week timeskip, and she definitely seem more relaxed than she once was, but noticeably not as happy as everyone else. When Vil mentions that it’s the principal’s doing that the group has uniforms for VDC, Quentin asks if Ramshackle had to pay for it, to which neither Crowley nor Vil answers, and Quentin says they definitely did, then. Quentin receives two tickets, and later says she invited Masawa because she wanted to thank him for something. Quentin is later seen outside the gates of Ramshackle dorm with Vil, who summoned the group. Quentin and Vil’s conversation is very strained, which Jamil notes, and Rook comments at least the two dorm leaders can talk to each other now, which is much better than before. During the first day of VDC, Vil comments that Ramshackle should see the festival and mutters something about how Ramshackle would be in the way, which Quentin menacingly asks what he said, to which Vil replies he didn’t say anything important. Quentin is then seen with Yuu and Grim touring the festival, holding Grim back from eating all the food saying she’s the one with the money. When the group visit the stage and encounter the Savanaclaw students, she greets the main Savanaclaw students warmly. When Jack comments on how he heard Yuu become and manager and Quentin became a co-producer, Quentin comments she didn’t have much of a choice, which Ruggie and Leona comment they know how that feels, which Grim then says Ramshackle can’t see the rehearsal because they’d be in the way. When Ruggie comments on how setting up the stage is basically job training, Quentin says she’s not sure about it all being job training. When Trey and Riddle appear, Quentin is first greeted by Riddle, thanking her for helping him out with some paperwork, which Quentin says the paperwork was nothing compared to other things she had to do for VDC. Riddle later invites Quentin alongside Yuu and Grim to tour the festival, which Quentin agrees to with her juniors. She gives Jack, Ruggie and Leona a goodbye, which is reciprocated. Quentin doesn’t help explain the fourth years with Riddle and Trey, but she does comment it makes sense in modern society. When touring the clubs, the group comes upon the science club’s station, Trey comments Rook should be in the literature club with Quentin, which Quentin says she disagrees with, saying Rook wouldn’t like the literature club as it is now. When Grim asks how science and a café make sense for a booth, Trey comments the science club is wearing there lab coats as uniforms, Quentin comments it’s basically a themed café in that case, which gets a chuckle out of Trey. After Riddle mentions the time, Quentin does subtly try to get her juniors to keep moving, which does work. When the group visits The Gargoyle Research Society, Quentin is given quick shot, which seems to be her thinking to herself. When the groups enter the Board Game Club and Grim comments on Idia’s behavior, Quentin tells Grim that’s Idia Shroud, a dorm leader and she works him him a lot. Idia doesn’t interact with her, but she is greeted very warmly by Ortho, who like everyone else in the group is called by their full name. While Trey questions how Idia’s simulation is truly a board game, Quentin praises it, saying that it’s pretty cool in her opinion. Ortho agrees with her, and offers it to her and Yuu before Trey turns it down, saying they don’t have the time for that right now. Later on, when the group enters the Mountain Appreciation Club, Floyd calls Quentin by her nickname, Stingray. Quentin also comments on Grim complaining about his nickname, saying Grim could have been named penguin or something worse. Quentin does comment on the club’s statuses, making a passing comment she thinks it’s strange two club are fine with just one member, and the Light Music Club isn’t fine for having more.  When the group later check out the stalls and Grim sees a huge group of people outside the coliseum, Quentin says the big group of people are Vil and Neige’s weird and sometimes creepy fans, which both Riddle and Trey verbally agree with. Quentin is later greeted by Silver after he calls out Sebek for being rude to himself, and Quentin greets him back and politely thanks him for his work. After Trey comments about Royal Sword Academy’s presence and what it can do to the students, Quentin says she hopes nothing happens since she doesn’t want to deal with diplomatic issues which Trey agrees with. Later, when some Savanaclaw students pick a fight with three of the Royal Sword Academy students, with the group Quentin steps in and helps with the fight. After the battle, she and Trey ask if the three dwarfs are alright and apologized for the NRC student’ actions, which Dominic says they are fine and it’s okay. After Grim comments on how small the three are, Quentin and Grant tells Grim that’s rude at the same time. After Che’nya appears and Grim screams about a floating head, Quentin says the head has a name and Grim knows it. Later on when the group moves into another building and Yuu brings up Tsunotarou, Quentin is seen interested alongside Cater, even commenting on how she thinks it’s great Yuu has friends outside of the first year squad. When Yuu describes Tsunotarou and the group, minus Yuu, collectively figure out it’s Malleus Draconia, Quentin lets out a snort, which Yuu asks about, and Quentin says she must have eaten something weird. Later on the Ramshackle parts with Trey and Riddle to go see the VDC, Grim comments on the stage being complete, Quentin comments that it kind of needs to be for VDC to actually go on smoothly. When Vil approaches the group after Ramshackle is stopped by a member of the staff, Vil comments that Ramshackle has some nerve to be the last ones there, to which Quentin snaps back saying that Vil could have texted any of them if he wanted them to come earlier, which Rook then steps in and changes the subject matter. After Neige appears before the group and the group are talking about him, Grim comments on Jamil’s deceiving appearance comment, asking if he’s referring to himself, to which Quentin tells Grim to be nice. When NRC is called for their rehearsal and Vil mutters about him beating Neige, Quentin is seen with a serious face alongside Rook. After the rehearsal, Kalim calls out to Quentin, Yuu and Grim, asking how the performance was, to which Quentin responds to by saying she really liked and she thought was really good. After Grim responds to the reporter’s action with Vil, Quentin comments that Vil kind of needs to be like that, to which Grim says that’s not what he meant. When the group’s performance is posted online, Quentin congratulates them for being so popular, which Jamil then comments the video was mostly just Vil. When the group then wants to see RSA’s performance, Quentin says she knows a place where the group can sit, which the group agrees to go to, which turns out to be where Masawa and Dorji are sitting, saying they came to see the rehearsal since they have nothing better to do. When the group sees the dwarfs coming on stage, Masawa asks what a dwarf is, which Quentin responds is a type of fairy. When Ace, Grim and Jamil comment on how basic the performance is, Quentin says it’s cute in it’s own way. While Vil’s face turns dark, Quentin concurrently is seen holding her head like she’s in pain and then looks at Vil, and when she sees Vil’s face, she definitely seems panicked. After Vil excuses himself, Quentin runs off without an explanation, which worries most of the group, most notably Dorji after which then Yuu has their vision warning of what Vil is about to do. Kalim comments on Vil and Quentin’s departure, saying “they. . .” instead of “he. . .”. Quentin is later seen with Neige when Vil first arrives at Neige’s waiting room, which Grim comments Quentin was fast. She and Vil tensely ask each other what they’re doing which Neige than breaks up by praising Vil’s performance, which Quentin agrees with. But as the conversation goes on, Quentin seems to be getting more and more uncomfortable until Vil offers Neige the poisoned apple juice, to which Quentin advises Neige not to drink, to which Vil asks why she would say that, to which Quentin says Vil isn’t in his right mind and asks Vil if he really wants this, which Vil ignores and offers the drink to Neige once again before Rook interrupts and asks Neige to go back to the stage, saying a staff member needs him. To which Quentin says she’ll go with Neige and then takes his hand and runs off with a confused Neige out of the area. Later on, Quentin is seen on the magic carpet alongside Jamil, using wind magic to put space between Kalim, Grim, Rook and Yuu and an Overblotted Vil. After the group gets outside and asks why there’s no else in the coliseum, Jamil explains when Quentin came out with Neige, Jamil saw she was in distress and took a guess as to what was about to happen and asked Quentin to go find Dorji, Masawa and the first years, which she agreed to before Jamil then hypnotized Neige into taking everyone outside of the coliseum and when the people he asked for arrived had them evacuate the other people still left in the area, and asks Quentin to go with him to find the rest of their VDC group. Jamil comments on how the group shouldn’t have escalated the situation, which Quentin responds with a shrug and says she’s kind of given up on that since she’s been through Overblotting five times already, which Kalim adds unto saying he didn’t mean for it to happen. When the group decides to stall Vil so other more magical people could arrive to help, Quentin noticeably doesn’t make a comment about bringing Vil back to normal, but she is seen besides Dorji alongside Masawa, which Dorji says he’s kicked Vil’s butt before and he’ll do it again to prove Vil is wrong. When the battle is over and Vil is almost defeated and tells the group he’ll take down those with opposed him with him, Quentin is seen standing in-between Vil and everyone else, before Deuce tells the group to get down on the ground, which Quentin does do without a question. When Vil returns to normal, Quentin is seen nearby him. Not as close as Rook is, but the first person to Vil’s left that he sees. She is seen offering Kalim a pack of tissues for his tears, which Kalim does take. When Vil admits what he did wasn’t exactly great behavior and he’s not qualified to lead the group anymore, Quentin is the first to respond, saying Vil doesn’t have a option but to stay the leader of the group because changing leaders at this point would really be a waste of time since there’s not enough time for that on top of them having to fix the stage and everything else, which Rook adds to saying nobody got hurt. When Vil tries to, well, just get up Quentin tells him to not push himself or he’ll have the nurse and his dorm worrying about him for the next month. When Deuce talks about his unique magic and how he used it on some people who could use some magic, Jamil comments that he shouldn’t have done that, to which Quentin adds on she hopes it doesn’t come back to bite Deuce. After Deuce realizes he’s gotten his unique magic and asks Yuu for what he said since he doesn’t remember, Quentin congratulates Deuce for gaining a unique magic, saying it’s a big step in becoming a magician, or at least in Andalasian culture it is. When Malleus appears on the scene, Quentin is noticeably not as surprised as the rest of the group and is seen smiling and waving at the fae. When Yuu calls out to Malleus as Tsunotarou, Quentin isn’t surprised like the rest of the group, and alongside Grim walks up to Malleus and laughs, saying that’s one way to describe Malleus before Grim then makes a comment about Malleus’ horns, which is then shut up by Deuce before Grim could finish and Deuce comments Quentin really shouldn’t let Grim say such things, to which Quentin asks why she needs to before Ace pipes up to speak with Yuu. After Malleus is officially introduced to Yuu and Grim, and asks what exactly happened, Quentin speaks up saying Vil almost did something super bad, had a mental breakdown and then Overblotted, referring to Malleus as “Malleus-kun” when referring to him. Which freaks out the first and second years, even earning a few comments from them before Quentin says she used to be in the same class as Malleus. Malleus then refers to Quentin as “Quentin-san” and then asked what Vil almost did, to which Quentin responds saying Vil tried to kill someone via poisoning. Which gets a nod out of Malleus and him simply saying he didn’t feel anything over here, possibly because of Neige’s distraction. When Malleus casts a spell to fix the stage, Quentin isn’t as on edge as everyone else even messing around with some of the pieces going back into place, which earns her a comment from Ace saying Quentin really shouldn’t be messing around at a time like this and a comment from Malleus, calling her “Child of Andalasia” and asking Quentin to be careful. Like Rook, after Malleus’ spell is finished she thanks Malleus for fixing the stage saying she really owes him a lot, which makes Malleus smirk. Later on, Quentin is seen backstage with Yuu and Grim, first seen after Epel tries to step in for a tired Vil and Grim comment it’s impossible for that now and she says while she does agree with Epel on giving Vil some slack, but Epel doesn’t have that much time to suddenly learn the main role, which Vil agrees with, also adding he wants to be on the stage as long as possible which Quentin then says afterwards Vil needs to see a medic or she’ll make him, which Vil agrees to. After Yuu and Grim asks the team to do their best, Quentin says she’ll be cheering from the sidelines so do the group will do their best before the three Ramshackle members leave. Quentin is later seen on the sidelines with Grim and Yuu, voting for NRC which in the end still has one vote difference. After it’s announced that Royal Sword Academy won, Quentin is seen after Grim loudly cries about his dream of tuna, which Quentin’s reaction is then seen, with Quentin simply sighing and saying, “Oh well.”. When Neige and Vil’s groups are seen singing to Neige’s song, Grim asks Quentin if she’s recording this, Quentin is seen nodding to Grim’s question with a phone in hand. She is then seen last after VDC, agreeing with Grim when he says the dorm feels empty now that the VDC members are gone.