#no but like what the fuck is going on in the Nolan Patrick tag

[goaltenderness]

tell us about your body unafraid! 👀

let's see... it's actually really hard to substantially talk about something when the plot essentially boils down to character-study-but-like-on-steroids, as it turns out T__T jack eichel got traded to vegas and a couple of people including yours truly were like 👁️if i had a nickel for every time a hockey player got drafted second overall and then was crowned disappointment in chief before being shipped off to nevada i'd have two nickels which isn't much but etc etc👁️

which is an extremely compelling narrative, right! and it's doubly compelling that it's vegas specifically. every time i have to quickly describe the knights my mind immediately goes to max pacioretty's players tribune after the trade from mtl. "this very real idea of, like, what it means to take on a new adventure in life. of what it means to be a part of something that’s new, and good, and yours." you cannot make this shit up! (this quote does make me MEGASAD now because vgk management doesn't understand that you cannot make your brand ragtag group of misfits and rejects if you then DISCARD THEM AT THE FIRST OCCASION, but i digress)

anyway. i started sketching out what i wanted that fic to look like a couple of weeks after jack's trade. it had a very specific arc that culminated in the 2023 stanley cup playoffs. and for a while it followed reality pretty closely, and then nolan got put on IR and then he got put on LTIR. and i'm not exactly someone who cares about my hrpf being accurate in a sticking to the schedule way, but because so much of this fic is like... nolan patrick vs his body vs the world, it felt weird to keep writing it at first in that context. i think i was also rattled because it made me realize that i had put more of myself into the narrative than i initially understood/wanted on like many levels including my own experience with chronic pain and sports injuries. and i don't really like to project on my characters Like That! so i shelved it for... a whiiiiileeeeee. and then i caught covid at work -_- and i was quarantining and alone and SO BORED and miserable and i reopened the google doc and threw a LOT of the initial draft in the bin and got possessed by the demon of rewriting, or something. there's like 30k of it overall now, 15k of edited/linear/comprehensible stuff, and like, i don't think it's very good yet? i think it needs to be fully written so i can go back to reframe some stuff at the beginning and then it could potentially be good! but right now it's languishing in the drive. and i try to keep at it! but this fic is my fucking white whale, at this point --'

i live here!! right in the center of this specific narrative is my HOUSE!!!!! i think the tag does a very good job of setting the general tone, but also like......

it's DARK in here, bro.

[leafsbabe]

I posted 1,884 times in 2022

949 posts created (50%)

935 posts reblogged (50%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@hockey-trash-19

@lovershines14

@leafsbabe

@kasperikapanenisbetterthanyou

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I tagged 1,714 of my posts in 2022

Only 9% of my posts had no tags

#leafsbabe bullshit - 400 posts

#hanna talks - 232 posts

#justin herbert - 110 posts

#quinn hughes - 91 posts

#joe burrow - 80 posts

#auston matthews - 76 posts

#nolan patrick - 62 posts

#matthew tkachuk - 56 posts

#request answered - 53 posts

#nico hischier - 53 posts

Longest Tag: 91 characters

#the german urge to fuck a man that can open beers with something other than a bottle opener

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

how Thomas Bordeleau is like as a boyfriend

- Bords is such a fun boyfriend

- he can sometimes be a bit over the top but not in a bad way

- he’s just full of energy and wants to spend time with you

- so he takes you on a lot of dates

- tries to keep everything more private for your own safety

- it’s not like he wants to hide your relationship away and just act like it doesn’t exists 

- but he’s very aware of the fact that by being a professional athlete he’s a public figure and that means there’s some more attention on your relationship and he just wants to protect you

- king of those couples instagram pics where it’s all cute and shit but like without the identity being visible

- will take you hiking and take pics of your ass looking great that he sends to his group chat with the boys in a very much consensual way to brag about how hot you are and how happy he is that he managed to bag you

- either 100% into couples outfits or 100% against it

- but he definitely loves it when you wear his clothes

- especially something with his name or number

- loves to show you off but he’s also possessive

- so he loves it when you’re showing off that you’re his

- keeping things more private works so well with that 

- get’s you jewelry with his name and number

- except Thomas is extra so of course he’s only gonna get you solid gold and a lot of it

- will joke about being your sugar daddy

- except if you’re insecure about being seen as only using him 

- because i think Thomas is really mature when it comes to things like that

- you can really sit down with him and talk about everything and communicate because he wants this relationship to work and he’s willing to put in the work for that

- he never knows what he wants to eat

- so whenever he takes you out he’ll probably try to steal half of yours 

- or just order a bunch of different things so that you can have a little bit of everything

- loves to nap together

- or just to use you as a pillow

- because he can just put his head on your stomach and you can run your fingers through his hair and it always calms him right down and helps him relax

- loves sleeping over at your place and “forgetting” hoodies especially before road trips

- because when he gets them back they smell like you 

See the full post

260 notes - Posted May 2, 2022

#4

how Nick Blankenburg is like in bed

what Nick Blankenburg is like in bed:

- easily turnt on

- like no joke just sit on his lap and play with the hair at the back of his neck a little and boy is ready to go

- really into you playing with his hair in general

- especially when he’s mouthing at your neck or going down on you

- just run your fingers through it a bit

- or just grab it and pull a little

- talented fingers and talented tongue

- loves making out

- even when you’re not in the mood to fuck he just loves a good long slow make out sesh

- he bites

- but it’s okay because you can bite back

- leaves a ton of love bites and hickeys everywhere

- especially in winter when there’s more reason to wear clothes that cover up

- the chain stays on during sex

- obviously

- can you imagine it just dangling above you while he fucks you?

- so hot

- he doesn’t really care for lingerie and all that

- like sure you look amazing but he loves you just as much in an old shirt and ratty shorts

- or nothing

- preferably nothing

- Nick fucked you in his jersey exactly once and now he can’t help but think about that time whenever he puts on his jersey it’s really a pain

- not picky at all when it comes to positions

- he just wants the two of you to feel good

- although he loves it when you ride him

- cowgirl > reverse cowgirls

- likes watching your tits when you ride him

- gets really clingy after sex

See the full post

261 notes - Posted July 14, 2022

#3

how Trevor Zegras is like as a boyfriend

- dating Trevor is nothing but fun

- he’s always down to hang out either at home or going places

- maybe a little clingy

- but he’s just on the road a lot and even if he’s home there’s games and training so why not spend his freetime with you

- will definitely ask to sleep over a lot because he once fell asleep at yours and it was awesome so now he can just sleep better when you’re there

- you can do a whole thing out of it with a blanket fort and staying up late sharing all your secrets

- likes to go on adventures with you

- hockey is not that big in california and the LA area is filled with so many celebrities that nobody really cares about him so you can just hop in a car and go hiking or to a mall or explore the area

- relative anonymity is helpful in other ways too

- Trevor would like to keep your relationship a secret at first

- which can come off really shady 

- like he’s trying to hide you away so he can fuck around

- but he just doesn’t want his love life all over social media

- he wouldn’t hide you from his friends and team

- and at the first chance he gets he’s going charm the absolute shit out of your parents

- he’s constantly “forgetting” his hoodies at your place

- because he wants you to wear them but he doesn’t want to ask you to wear them

- feels really smart and sneaky about it

- but he just thinks you look super cute wearing his clothes

- and maybe the little caveman part of his brain feels good about you wearing his things because they mark you as his... but like voluntarily

- would honestly be down to have spa days with you

- like full on headband to hold his flow back, face masks, maybe some fancy hand creames and calming music....

- likes to play with those little gem stone roller things 

- he’s so into it

- maybe you can take some sneaky pics to send to his teammates 

- totally not for blackmail

- speaking of pictures

-  Trevor loves taking pictures

- not just of you or you taking pics of him but also just of some pretty sights or things he thinks are cool

See the full post

293 notes - Posted January 15, 2022

#2

all my Joe Burrow fics for those looking after the game

changed the title because.. you know…

that damn cigar (smut) - riding Joe while he smokes a cigar

tough loss (smut) - Joe taking out his frustrations on you in the best way

touched for the very first time (smut) - losing your virginity to your boyfriend Joe

pavlovian response (smut) - Joe gets hard whenever you put up your hair

boyfriend Joe headcanon

getting engaged to Joe headcanon

Joe Burrow - nsfw alphabet

404 notes - Posted February 14, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Joe Burrow - BURROW on your back (smut)

after your first Bengals game your husband gets just a little bit possessive 4.7k

“Are you excited?” 

Your husband's voice pulled you out of your thoughts, making you jump slightly. You loved Joe with all your heart but he really needed to stop sneaking up on you. He stepped closer, bringing an arm about your middle and hooking his chin over your shoulder so he could look at the two of you together in the big mirror you were standing in front of, anxiously picking at your outfit. 

“Yeah.” Hoping a smile would distract him from your obvious lie you flashed him a quick one in the mirror. Judging by his expression that didn’t work though.

Joe turned his head slightly, pressing a light kiss to the side of your neck just below your ear.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, voice low.

“Nothing.” You answered back, turning around in his arms so you were looking up at him.

You had never been a fan of big crowds and strangers. Ever since you were a little kid you tried to avoid large groups of people, preferring to just stay home or go out in smaller groups with a few close friends. Joe had never faulted you for it and understood that you couldn’t cheer for him from the stands like some of his teammates' significant others did. He was just as happy for you to curl up in front of the tv at home and watch as he won games for you. You eventually went to a few games back in college although it was a rare occurrence. 

Now Joe was already in the second season of his pro career and you had yet to watch a Bengals game in the stadium. You tried to work up the confidence to go out, meet the team and their families, and enjoy watching your husband play the game he loved but so far you always backed out. It was just too much.

“Are you not feeling well?” He gave you a concerned look before raising a hand to gently cup your face. His thumb softly stroked your cheek and you couldn’t help but lean into it. “You don’t have to come, honey. I know it stresses you out. If you want you can stay here and watch from home, or don’t watch at all and just take a nice long bath.”

“No, no, I said I would come.” 

“Okay if you’re sure. You look cute.” 

Looking down at your large Burrow jersey you couldn’t help but agree. You had stolen it from Joe’s part of the closet but it definitely looked better on you. Most of his clothes did.

“Had to make sure I rep my favorite team. And this one coincidentally had my name across the back so why not.” You turned around in his arms again so that your back was to his front, making it really easy for him to see the big BURROW on your back. 

You felt Joe trace the letters, running his finger over the fabric and you couldn’t help but smile at the gentle gesture. 

“It looks great on you.” He complimented you again before he turned serious. “Are you really sure you want to come?” 

Instead of talking you just nodded, hoping that the nonverbal gesture did more to convince Joe than words could. It’s just one little game, not the first of the season, not against a big rival, nothing that should draw in unusually large crowds. You could do this.

“If you want we can leave now, get there before the crowds.” Your husband suggested. “I can walk you up to the box and everything. It’s gonna be a while before the game starts but then you won’t have to deal with so many people.”

Leaving now before you could change your mind sounded like a good idea, once you were there you would just have to deal with it, so you quickly agreed and soon found yourself in the passenger seat of his car as you made your way towards the stadium. 

You could feel yourself getting more nervous but Joe seemed to notice too and put his hand on your thigh, giving it a gentle squeeze in an attempt to calm you down. It helped a little bit and you couldn’t help but feel grateful for having a caring husband that could pick up on your discomfort. The radio was softly playing as Joe drove the two of you to the stadium.

Your anxiety didn’t lessen as he parked and exited the car, walking around to open your door for you and help you out. Neither did it when he walked you through the stadium, pointing out a few corners he deemed interesting, holding your hand in his and stroking his thumb across the back of your hand in an attempt to soothe you. It wasn’t long before the two of you reached the suite reserved for the families of players. It was still empty and Joe let go of your hand to motion for you to look around. 

“The others should come in a bit. I tried to ask the guys if their families would come and a lot of the wives and girlfriends can’t come today so you’re not going to meet everybody. Although maybe that’ll make today easier.”

It would make things easier.

You felt so thankful that Joe didn’t push you that far outside your comfort zone, always trying to keep your feelings in mind. He led you to a seat that was at the side of the suite, close to a wall, a little hidden in the big room. When you sat down it was comfortable and you really thought that you could handle this game. 

“Can you see well?” He asked, before immediately blocking your view with his strong body. 

“I see everything I want to see.” You tease back, laughing as he smiled down at you.

Joe looked around the room for a second and you already knew what was coming. You weren’t the biggest fan of PDA but occasionally you could be enticed when nobody was around. It was easy to close your eyes in anticipation of a quick kiss. His lips only stayed on yours for a second, a touch so light it would have made you question if you dreamed it up had you not known it was about to happen.

“See you after the game?” 

You nodded a slight smile on your lips. You didn’t even have to force yourself this time. It’s only going to be a few hours. 

See the full post

494 notes - Posted October 29, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[konecny-morelike-wreckme]

.

[harlowhockeystick]

How He Met His Princess - Nolan Patrick HC

headcanon about nolan and his princess-y girlfriend and how they met. princess, aka: the complete and total opposite of him. (reader)

contains: cuss words, mentions of weed, some suggestive paragraphs (two or three bullet points),

word count: 707

tagging: @hugheshugs @lorrmorr @jacksharlows @owenpowerstapejob @nylwnder @drei-mrssvechii

nolan was completely shocked when he felt himself starting to fall for her. he knows that they are polar opposites. he's cold, she's warm. he's the moon, she's the sun. he's black, she's pink.

nolan first met her at the mall in vegas. he was looking for some new game day suits and some of his teammates had recommended the store she just happen to work at. ask for y/n, they added, she'll fit you good. he didn't know what that meant, but he knew that when he got to the store he would ask for y/n. he didn't expect y/n to walk out in a fitted, baby pink suit with matching pumps. and it looked beautiful on her skin tone, especially with the gold jewelry she was decorating.

she got him to try on at least ten different suits. mostly because of her soft voice, it was like smooth honey falling off the comb. soft, like the suit she was wearing. nolan held his breath when she took his measurements, closing his eyes because she was just so close to him. but he contained himself. that time.

y/n managed to get him to buy four suits, a brown plaid one that hugged his thighs perfectly. a navy blue suit that she matched with a dark tan trench coat. a solid black suit that he could wear to anything, and then a dark green plaid suit. some small talk ensued, y/n trying get a smile out of him because he hasn't done that the whole time he was there. he eventually does, when she hands him the bag and he leaves the store. he smiles the entire walk back to his car. he smiles the entire drive back to his apartment. and he even smiles when he just happens to see her at the bar he went to with his teammates that night.

she was with some friends, and not a man around. he made that mental note. when he found the courage to even go on that side of the bar to order drinks, suddenly she was standing next to him. they were flirting back and forth, she left a few touches here and there and suddenly she was leaving a kiss on his cheek. when she went back to her table he felt her lip gloss there and he wiped it off, the sticky substance on his fingers, as he felt her stare on him for the rest of the night. when he and his teammates started to leave, he was behind all of them. a tug was at his jacket and he turned around to see her, standing tall in her pink pumps as she handed him a piece of paper. we should go out some time, she added right before letting him leave.

he got back to his place and said fuck it, giving the number in his jacket pocket a shot. worst case scenario she gave him a fake number. just a simple, it's the guy from the bar, text and there he was. putting himself out there. he got a text back within minutes, saying does the guy at the bar have a name? he chuckled, laying in his bed watching tv as he texted her back, adding does the pretty girl have a name? he got a text back and was reminded of her name.

dates were then scheduled. that weekend, at a nice restaurant, in the evening. he wore a simple pair of black jeans, a nice tee with a jacket to go along with it. nothing simple, nothing over the top. she walked in wearing a pink sweater with a detailed skirt, knee high boots. nolan felt extremely underdressed. but even though to the eye they looked polar opposites, they had a lot in common. she was down to earth, like him. she was calm like him. she listened to the lumineers like him.

he asked if she always wore the color pink and she only responded with a laugh, taking a sip of her rosé. i've been wearing pink since i came out of the womb, mr. patrick. and it was that moment he realized, he couldn't let his princess get away.

・。♡.・゜✭・.・✫・゜✭・。. ♡・。.・゜✭・.・✫・゜♡・。

a/n: thank u all sm for the asks about this au, i literally love it. i hope u all love it as much as i do! hopefully more full hc's/fics will come in the future! for now i hope this is good enough. feedback is always welcome!

xo

masterlist | feedback | taglist | au tag

[troubatrain]

high for this - n. patrick

a/n: self indulgent marijuana fueled nolan smut?? from me?? never!! i started this the last time it snowed but i finally got a chance to actually finish it so i hope  you guys like it! tagging @tkafuckit​ & @hookingminor​ because truly nothing gets done around here without them lbr

warnings: smut, marijuana

This had to be the worst blizzard to have hit Philadelphia in decades. At least that’s what the weatherman said while his toupee was dangerously close to falling off, an internal bet Nolan had with himself about how long it would be until it flew away in the wind and snow that was shutting down the city. Not only was he snowed in, he was snowed in with Joel and his girlfriend April who’d been pretending like Nolan wasn’t on the other side of the couch for the last hour. Nolan huffs, getting up from his spot on the couch in search of you.

Nolan didn’t like to admit it, but he had a soft spot for you he couldn’t quite explain. Maybe it was because you were just as much a weird third wheel to Joel’s relationship as he was. Or it could have been the way he started using hanging out with Joel and April as an excuse to do exactly what he’s doing right now. He walked down the hallway, two doors from the bathroom was your bedroom. He could hear the soft sounds of whatever record you were spinning on the other side, and he took a deep breath before he poked his head and smiled. You were nestled in your bed under a mountain of blankets and a movie on your laptop, “We’re stuck here I think.”

You laugh, an angelic sound bouncing off the walls of your room while Nolan hoped you wouldn’t catch his blush from across the room. You opened your blanket pile, tapping on the other side of your bed for Nolan to come join you. It wasn’t like it was out of the ordinary that Nolan would escape Joel and April to hide out with you, but he was doing it way more often than he used to, “Joel and April are making out aren’t they?”

“April’s five minutes from losing her shirt,” Nolan points his finger up, the sound of April’s giggle from the living room, “I don’t need to see that.”

You’d been in this position plenty of times, Nolan curled up in your bed while Parks and Rec played quietly in the background. Nolan would start off on one side of your bed, and before you knew it you were cuddled into his side while neither of you spoke a word. It was a comfortable silence, never asking for anything more or anything less, “You know, we’re snowed in and there’s nothing else to do…”

“Do you want me to roll a joint?” Nolan chuckles, pushing a piece of his hair from his face.

“You’re just so much better than me at it,” You admit, which wasn’t a total lie. Nolan was the best joint roller you’d ever come across, but Nolan was also the hottest joint roller you knew. It was such a weird thing to be attracted to, the way the paper would roll between his fingers and all you seemed to be able to focus on was how big his hands were, “Please?”

Nolan wasn’t going to say no, mostly because if you were both high he didn’t need an excuse to hold you because you always seemed to snuggle right up to him after. Besides, Nolan definitely wasn’t going to say no when you were pouting with the best puppy dog eyes you could muster up, “You’re lucky you’re cute.”

“You’re lucky I didn’t leave you to watch Joel and April fuck,” You tease, pushing Nolan in the chest lightly. You heard him call you cute, but you couldn’t read into it. Nolan was single and in the time since you’d met it was clear he wasn’t fucking around with anyone else. Joel told you it was because Nolan was a little introverted and if he liked he wasn’t going to announce to the world. You didn’t think much of it until you met Kevin who was over the moon to meet the girl Nolan was always talking about. All of your friends seemed to think whatever you had with Nolan was on the fast track to being together, but Nolan never seemed to mention it to you. You open your end table, leaning across Nolan and grabbing your grinder and some bud, dropping it in his hands.

Nolan gets to work, long slim fingers dropping the weed onto the paper gently while you hopped off the bed and pulled out a record. Nolan looks up at you for a minute, a Temple hoodie hanging off your frame covering the shorts you had underneath it. His eyes wandered down your legs, god he wanted you, but he couldn’t even begin to figure out how to tell you. He should let you know that you were pretty much his dream girl, standing across the room flipping a Hozier album in your hands while you picked what you should listen to. It’s about the vibes Nolan, you remarked that to him the first time you ever smoked together, and now Nolan had a playlist just for songs he knew you loved most.

“You’re indecisive,” Nolan hums, watching you put the same record back on it’s shelf and licking the edge of the paper, “Just pick one, anything you pick will be cooler than I would have chosen anyways.”

You turn around sticking your tongue out at him and grabbing a Mt. Joy vinyl to put on, “Did you get that for me?”

“I got it for me,” You defend, holding in the truth that Nolan’s music taste seemed to be weaving itself with your own, “But I knew you liked them, and you never seem to leave me alone.”

“Don’t think you want me too,” Nolan mumbles, grabbing a lighter from your nightstand, sparking up the end of the joint and handing it over to you.

“Wow I get the first hit, what a gentleman,” You joke, sitting cross legged on your bed and watching the smoke fill your room. Nolan loved watching you smoke, the way it would just fall from lips and your voice would get a little raspier. He loved the way your eyes seemed to get hazier and your smile just a bit wider than it usually was, “Excellent work Patty.”

“Glad I could be of service,” Nolan chuckles, your head falling into his lap without a second thought. You both laid like that the entire time you were smoking, sharing the joint while Nolan’s fingers weaving through your hair absentmindedly, “I saw it by the way.”

“Saw what?” You ask, furrowing your eyebrows in confusion at whatever he was on about.

“Your little helper,” Nolan muses, a tight lipped smile on his face because he could literally see your hazy mind trying to figure out what he was talking about. Nolan didn’t know why he needed to say anything about the very teeny vibrator in your bedside table next to your grinder, “Use it often?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” You brush him off, it was Nolan and Nolan teased you all the time.

“You know I do,” Nolan hums, his gaze on you while you were practically squirming in his lap, “The same way that you know I like you but you never do anything about it.”

“Shouldn’t you be making the first move?” You poke open one eye to look up at Nolan. His hands moved quickly, grabbing your thighs and pulling you up to straddle his waist.

“Thought we were more progressive than that babe,” Nolan huffs, his voice deeper than it usually was. His hands were running up your legs, rough calloused fingers against your skin.

“I want to hear you say it,” You challenge, boldly running a hand through Nolan’s hair. Nolan’s heart was stammering in his chest, but when a silly smile danced across your lips he couldn’t help but laugh, “Let’s hear it Patty.”

“I want you, here, now, and every time after this,” Nolan says, his voice sure, steady and clear. His lips ghosed over yours for a moment, “C’mere.”

Nolan wasn’t a man of many words, but he was going to show just how he felt. His hands cascaded down your body, stopping on your ass and giving it a tap while his lips pressed against yours. It was electric, and you wondered why you bothered to kiss anyone besides Nolan, “Nols-”

“Yeah?” Nolan pulls away, cheeks rosy and his breath ripped out his body from just one kiss. You bit your lip, looking at him in the eyes before you spoke again.

“Fuck me,” You whimper, grinding your hips against Nolan’s, pulling a groan from his lips. Nolan’s hand gripped your chin, crashing his lips against yours. His other hand snuck under your shirt, the rough calloused fingers that only lived in your fantasies rubbing against your soft skin. He flipped you over, holding himself up by his elbows while he pressed kisses down your neck.

“I’ve thought about this so many fucking times,” Nolan mumbles, his lips pressed against your skin. You could feel his teeth graze behind your ear, pulling a moan out of you.

“Maybe you should’ve done something about it sooner,” You smirk, grabbing his cheeks and pulling him back in for a kiss, “Could’ve saved me a few lonely nights.”

“Consider those over,” Nolan promises, giving you a sweet kiss before his hands grabbed the bottom of your hoodie to pull it off. Nolan’s lips move down your body, love bites and kisses pressed against your skin while he makes his way down to where you need him most. His fingers slipped under your sweats, looking up at you for the go ahead he needed, you nod eating up the feeling of Nolan’s hands on your bare skin, “So pretty baby.”

Nolan’s finger traced lightly over your thighs, his breath hot against your pussy while you ached for more, “Don’t tease me or I’ll get my little friend out to do the job for me.”

Nolan chuckles at your whine, a finger sliding up your folds, “That’s for another time babe.”

Nolan’s words had your eyes rolling to the back of your head, oh it’s definitely big. His tongue swirled your clit gently, trying to figure out exactly what was going to get you off. You let out a moan, one that definitely carried through the hallway loud enough for Joel and April to hear from the living room. Nolan smirks to himself, wrapping his lips around your clit and sliding one of his ridiculously long fingers inside you. Your hand gripped his hair, tugging on it gently while you bit your lip to stop yourself from being too loud, “Fuck Nolan, faster.”

Nolan nods, a second finger sliding inside of you and curling against your g spot. You grinded down on Nolan’s face, his free hand gripping your thigh to keep you in place. You were a moaning mess above him, not caring one bit about anyone hearing you because Nolan’s mouth was magic. It really is always the quiet ones. You were close, Nolan’s fingers sliding out of just when he started to feel your pussy clench around him. You whine, grabbing the back of Nolan’s head to keep his mouth against your pussy but it was no use when Nolan was that big, “Sorry did you want to cum?”

Nolan’s finger was teasing your entrance, watching the way your pussy was clenching in anticipation, you let out a breathy laugh, “Please make cum Nols, I need it.”

All it took after that was Nolan’s tongue around your clit and his fingers curled back inside you for you to cum. Nolan’s name fell from your lips, a sound that Nolan had dreamed of but never thought he’d actually get to hear. Nolan’s eyes looked over at your night stand, grabbing the extra joint he rolled and placing it between his lips. He tossed off his shirt, grabbing a lighter and sparking the end before he blew smoke in your mouth and pressed his lips against yours. You moan at sensation, gripping Nolan’s shoulder to pull him closer. You had him now, and you’d be damned if you were going to let him go. 

Nolan kicks off his sweats, taking a few puffs from the joint and groaning when you palmed him through his boxers. He grabs your hand, dropping the joint into yours and pulling off his boxers to let his cock spring free. Your suspicions were correct- it was big, you let out a giggle, Nolan’s eyebrows furrowing at you, “What?”

“I had this bet with myself about how big your dick was,” You admit, taking your own pull from the joint and watching the smoke fill the room, “Not disappointed.”

Nolan laughs, pressing a kiss to your lips and lining his cock up to you. He looks at you, “You’re my fucking dream girl.”

Nolan didn’t spare you a second to react to his words before he slid inside you. He groaned at the feeling, his head pressed against your neck. Nolan’s hips snapped against you, your nails scratching down his back while he railed you into oblivion. You were seeing stars, moans and whimpers falling from your lips and not a single thought in your mind except the fact that Nolan was making you feel so damn good, “Cum for me again, c’mon.”

Nolan’s deep voice was rumbling against your neck, his dick twitched inside of you in need of a release. You clenched around him, your legs shaking from pleasure. Nolan pulled out of you, spilling onto your stomach with a loud fuck. Nolan collapsed on top of you, the both of you trying to catch your breath. He rolls over, pulling you close his chest, “I meant what I said, I wasn’t just trying to get laid.”

“I know,” You hum, snuggling closer to his chest, “Think April and Joel heard us?”

The last thing you heard before you finally let the exhaustion take over your body was a we did in unison from April and Joel down the hall. 

[nol-an]

when our stars aligned || n. patrick

hello everyone! i’m super excited to finally be posting this slow burn, friends-to-lovers fic that has been in the works for almost a month now!

grab a drink and some snacks, this one’s 12.5k words (and not proofread oops)! as always, feedback is appreciated <3 enjoy!

__________

+ her

Your sweater-clad figure collapsed into your plush mattress as soon as you finished your last assignment for the day. After a hell week of university, you couldn’t wait to spend the rest of your night de-stressing and indulging in the bottle of wine that had been calling your name since the beginning of the week. You wanted nothing more than to catch up on the Bachelorette —because who doesn’t love trash TV— and to coil yourself in blankets for the rest of the night. 

On the other hand, your best-friend-slash-roommate, Maya, had different plans. She was fully convinced that the only proper remedy to your school-induced slump was a night out on the town. However, you knew that Maya’s plans for you would really just result in you third-wheeling her and her boyfriend, Joel. You don’t even need to ask your friend to know that Joel would be coming along too because the two were a package deal. Although you don’t mind Joel and think he’s a wonderful match for your long-time friend, the last thing you need is to be awkwardly tagging along with the sometimes overly-affectionate couple.

After a back-and-forth negotiation that seemed to last hours, you finally agreed to Maya’s proposition after she offered to wash the dishes and take out the trash for the next two weeks. You still expressed that you wouldn’t be happy if you came across any Bachelorette spoilers while you were out with Maya and Joel, but eventually, your mind became occupied by thoughts of what to wear. Deciding not to think too much into your outfit, you settled for a Pittsburgh Penguins pullover and your comfiest pair of black jeans. You sprayed yourself with perfume and glanced in your mirror one last time before leaving your room with the hopes of returning to your tempting bed soon.

As Joel’s car pulled into the parking lot of your and Maya’s apartment complex, you soon noticed a figure in the passenger seat. Squinting to see if you recognized the man, all you could deduce was that he had long hair and florid cheeks. Turning to Maya in confusion, your best friend looked unbothered as a grin spread across her face at the sight of her boyfriend. You trailed behind her as she jogged towards Joel’s car. She promptly gave him a peck on his cheek before giving the stranger in the passenger seat a hug. Huh, so maybe he wasn’t a stranger after all.

It only took you a few seconds afterwards to realize what was going on.

You were going to kill Maya.

As if she read your mind, your best friend waved you over to the car. Deciding to play nice for the sake of Maya and her excitement, you plastered on your best I-don’t-want-to-be-here-but-you-don’t-know-that smile, and greeted the two guys.

“Y/N, this is Nolan, one of Joel’s friends,” Maya explained. “I know you said you didn’t wanna third wheel, so Joel and I, being the wonderful friends we are, took what you said to heart,” she laughed as she watched your smile twitch a little.

It always took you a while to warm up to strangers and being your best friend of three years, Maya knew you were going to give her an earful after the night was over. So, she figured she’d at least have some fun while she was at it. Your eyes sent daggers in her direction before you waved at Joel and stuck your hand out to greet Nolan.

Other than his small smile that you would’ve missed if you weren’t as observant, Nolan didn’t give much indication that he wanted to be here, either. Great. You couldn’t read his expressions, but you hoped to god that this night wouldn’t be as awkward as you think it’s going to be.

Shortly after the introductions, you and Nolan are squeezed into the back of Joel’s car as him and Maya bicker over who should get the aux. Rolling your eyes, you turn to Nolan, who looks quite amused at the couple’s antics. Figuring it wouldn’t hurt to break the ice, you attempted to start a conversation with Nolan.

“I’m guessing this isn’t the first time you’ve been stuck in the same space as Joel and Maya, either?” you joked.

He chuckled and angled his body a little closer towards you. “Unfortunately it’s not. If I’m being honest, this is not how I envisioned my Friday night going.”

Immediately processing his own words, a blush formed across his cheeks. “I- that’s not what I meant. I mean, I’m sure you’re a wonderful person, but Joel told me that we were getting food with Maya. I didn’t know this,” he used his right hand to gesture around the car, “was his actual plan,” he explained.

You couldn’t stop the giggle that escaped your lips, your eyes glinting with amusement. “I’m in the same boat. No one mentioned that you were coming, but honestly, I’m glad I’m not third-wheeling because I wanna puke every time they get too lovey-dovey.”

Nolan nodded in agreement, “You know what, Y/N? I think we’re gonna get along just fine.”

Relieved that Nolan was a lot less intimidating than you initially thought, you agreed with his comment and thanked the gods that this night was starting to look up.

“But there is one issue,” Nolan spoke up.

Your raised eyebrows cued him to speak again.

“I don’t know how I feel about that Pens sweatshirt of yours.”

+ him

“Dude, what the fuck are you doing?” an amused Kevin Hayes emerged from his room. He’d been living with Nolan for quite some time now, but the last thing he expected was to wake up to the sight of his roommate organizing their apartment, dust swiffer and all. There was even a vase of fresh flowers that Kevin sure as hell didn’t buy or remember seeing last night.

“Isn’t it fucking obvious, Hayesy? I’m cleaning the place,” Nolan deadpanned.

“Ok firstly, no shit. I was hoping you’d explain why you’re cleaning. I didn’t even know we had this much cleaning supplies,” Kevin quipped back, glancing over at the array of window and wood cleaner that was haphazardly strewn across the kitchen counter.

“Y/N is coming over,” Nolan curtly responded. He didn’t need to turn his focus away from scrubbing away the stove top’s stains to know that his roommate had a shit-eating grin on his face.

“I thought you said the two of you were just friends?”

“Can’t friends hang out?” Nolan retaliated.

“Sure, they can. But why are you disinfecting this whole place? Teeks comes over all the time and you never do this for him,” Kevin pointed out. He knew Nolan enough to know that you weren’t “just a friend.” Nolan talked about you way too much for that to be the case.

“It’s the first time she’s coming over. I just don’t want her thinking we live in a pigsty,” Nolan started, “which is gonna be a little difficult considering you leave your shit all around the place. Plus, don’t act like you’ve never cleaned the place up when you’ve had someone over.”

Kevin was having a little too much fun messing with Nolan. “Okay, first of all, that was one time. And it was for a girl I liked,” Kevin enunciated his last word.

Nolan knew Kevin had a point, but he’d be damned if he let Hayesy know that. Nevertheless, Nolan’s silence gave it away, and that was all Kevin needed to rest his case.

“Deny your feelings all you want, but I know you like her — even if you don’t even know it yourself. Don’t be surprised when I say ‘I-told-you-so,’” Kevin laughed as he headed towards the front door. “m’Gonna head out, but text me if you need anything. Maybe confess your feelings for Y/N while you’re at it.”

Nolan flipped off his roommate. Sometimes he was sure that Kevin was a middle-schooler trapped in a grown man’s body. Why couldn’t you and him be friends without feelings being involved? Nolan was sure you only saw him in a platonic light and he was perfectly fine with that. If anything, he was glad to have met you — in the few months you’ve been in his life, you’ve become a breath of fresh air from his circle of Flyers friends. Sure, he didn’t think the two of you would talk again after the little number that Maya and Joel pulled, but he was glad that his friendship with you bloomed. Not only was he glad to know someone else to tolerate Maya and Joel’s shenanigans with, but he enjoyed how you made him feel like he didn’t have to maintain any facade. Your welcoming aura appreciated Nolan as the goofy, indie music-obsessed Winnipeg native — not a Flyers centerman who was more often than not, under the microscope of Philly and NHL media. He was perfectly content with the friendship and appreciated the soothing presence you offered. Wasn’t that enough of an indication that the two of you were just friends?

Within the next twenty minutes, three knocks on the door vibrated through the apartment, and Nolan rushed to the door to greet you. A smile gleamed on your face and you greeted Nolan with a hug. Although it was your first time hanging out at Nolan’s place — the two of you usually stuck to more public locations — nothing about the exchange was awkward and for that, Nolan was extremely thankful. He knew his quiet demeanor could sometimes scare people away, but you didn’t seem to mind it. Instead, you were patient with him and understood that the two of you would become more comfortable around each other as time wore on.

After setting your bag down on the key table, you casually dove into a story about how you nearly couldn’t make it to Nolan’s apartment because you were convinced you lost your keys.

It was nice, nothing felt stiff and Nolan was relieved that the two of you were able to skip the formalities that usually occur when someone visits for the first time.

Once you wrapped up your story, you finally took the chance to look around Nolan’s home. From the look on your face, Nolan knew you were expecting the place to look different. Whether or not that look was a good thing, however, he wasn’t sure.

“Nols, if I’m gonna be honest here, I was not expecting you and Kevin to have such an organized place,” you laughed, your light-hearted tone indicating that you meant it in the nicest way possible.

Releasing the breath he was holding, Nolan chuckled a bit. “Well, don’t get used to it. It’s only this clean like once a month,” he laughed while scratching the back of his neck. He almost contemplated telling you all the trouble he went through to make sure the apartment was clean for you, but a nagging voice in the back of his head told him not to. Probably a good call. “Can I get you anything to drink?”

“Yea, water would be great,” you sat on one of the kitchen’s bar stools and watched Nolan pad over to the fridge. You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing as you peered into the relatively empty fridge.

The hockey player rolled a chilled water bottle over to you, perplexed by your reaction. “If you have something to say, say it to my face,” Nolan attempted to intimidatingly say. His cheery voice and sheepish smile gave away his tough-guy act, though.

“Just wondering how you have like three things in your fridge. What are you supposed to make with two carrots and eggs?” you chuckled.

Nolan feigned offense. “I’ll have you know that my ultra-busy schedule doesn’t let me go grocery shopping much. You should be honored that I was able to fit you into my agenda.” It wasn’t a lie that time didn’t permit Nolan to go shopping for food often, but he knew that if you wanted to hang, he would’ve found a way to make it work. But that’s normal, right? Friends can be excited to hang out with friends, right?

“So I’m guessing your pantry is just as bad?” you inquired.

“Ever the detective, Y/N,” Nolan confirmed. He opened the pantry door, gesturing to the several empty shelves.

Seconds later, the two of you got into a conversation about your favorite snacks. Nolan wasn’t sure how he found so much entertainment from talking about cookies and chips, but he wasn’t complaining. The discussion eventually moved over to the living space of the apartment, where you and Nolan settled on watching “How to Get Away With Murder” before promptly resuming your increasingly-heated debate on the best snacks.

“I don’t think we can be friends anymore, Nols. How could you possibly like goldfish more than cheez-its?” you seriously questioned.

“They’re the superior snack, can’t do anything about that. That’s like asking me to choose between indie and country music, no competition,” Nolan shrugged.

Promising Nolan that you’d one day convince him otherwise, you let the conversation slowly fade out as the show started. The next few hours passed by in a blur. There were some side-conversations here, and there, but the two of you were mainly focused on the show and enjoying each other’s presence.

You’re not sure when it happened, but you and Nolan started sharing the same blanket. Minutes later, you were curled into his side, your head resting lightly on his right shoulder. You were so close to him that you could feel his body rumble with laughter every time you made a witty comment. Despite the position the two of you were in, things didn’t go further than that. You didn’t think much of it and based on Nolan’s concentration on the show, it didn’t seem like he gave it much thought, either.

It was nice. More than nice, really. You became so comfortable that you had to keep yourself from dozing off. Every once in a while, Nolan’s hand would play with your hair, his gentle movements nearly lulling you to sleep.

Eventually, you two found a good stopping point and you told Nolan that you should start heading home, not wanting to overstay your visit. Although Nolan protested, you insisted that you would definitely find another time to see him soon and that he should hang out with Kevin, who had gotten home just a few minutes ago.

“Text me when you get home, alright?”

“Yea, of course. Don’t watch any episodes without me, okay?” you said, sticking out your pinky to make Nolan promise.

“Only if you bring over some of your homemade chocolate-chip cookies that you talked about earlier,” he bargained.

“Deal,” you waved goodbye to Nolan one last time before slipping out the door. “Tell Hayesy I said hi,” you hollered from down the hall.

Speaking of the devil himself, Kevin walked over to Nolan once he shut the door. Before Kevin could even wipe the smirk off his face, Nolan stopped him.

“Just friends, Hayesy,” Nolan reaffirmed.

+ him

Another few months passed on, and everything proceeded as normal. You and Nolan’s bond inevitably grew, and he could confidently call you one of his best friends. You two made an effort to hang out at least every other week, and your plans ranged from short weekend getaways to study sessions where Nolan attempted to help you cram for tests. Nolan loved every second he spent with you, and he was more than grateful that Maya and Joel had introduced you to him. Eventually, the hang-out regimen that you and Nolan had developed started wavering as the universe had different plans for you two. You had totally forgotten about a major ten page paper you had to do and with the season starting soon, Nolan was back to practices and workout sessions nearly every day.

You two texted and FaceTimed, though, so not all was a lost cause. Especially for Nolan, it felt as if he was spending every minute of his free time talking to or texting you — not that he minded it, anyway. The text conversations were always light-hearted and mostly consisted of funny tweets and song recommendations. Even when you and Nolan called, your minds that were typically flooded with thoughts of school or hockey became more relaxed upon hearing the other’s voice.

After wrapping up a morning skate with Travis, Nolan checked his phones for any notifications.

Hayesy: Y/N is here. Not sure why but she was looking for you.

With panicked eyes, Nolan tried to think of all of the reasons why you’d be at his apartment. The blood nearly drained out of his face at the thought of making plans with you and accidentally forgetting, but he reassured himself that there was no way that was the case.

Is she okay???? Nolan quickly texted before running into the showers.

Nolan had never showered and changed that quickly, and he was almost positive that he put his shirt on backwards as he ran to his car. He mentally cursed Kevin, who for some reason thought it was acceptable to send him a cryptic text about you without any follow-up. You were usually good about texting Nolan about any updates to your life, so Nolan couldn’t help when his mind started conjuring worst-case scenarios.

Once Nolan got to his apartment complex, he sprinted up dozens of flights of stairs thinking that they’d be faster than the elevator. However, coupled with his growing soreness from his earlier workout, each step on the stairs sent rays of pain through his legs and a regret for thinking the stairs would be a good idea.

After it felt like he had run a marathon, the hockey player finally reached his door. He frustratingly searched for his keys, hoping to god you were okay.

Nolan swung the door open with so much force that he was almost sure he’d have to tighten the screws on its hinges. “Y/N?” Nolan called. His frantic eyes searched for your figure, but he was instead met with the sight of his roommate.

“You just missed her,” Kevin replied from the kitchen. In his hand was what looked like a cookie, and behind him was at least three grocery bags. “I told her to stay because I figured you’d be home soon, but she seemed like she was in a rush. Something about a paper she had,” Kevin elaborated, his mouth full of the cookies. “Did you run here from the rink or something? You look like shit,” Hayesy jokingly noted.

Nolan rolled his eyes at his roommate and sighed, genuinely relieved to know that you were alright. As soon as any of the fears of you being hurt left his system, Nolan started thinking about how he would’ve been able to see you had Travis not persuaded him to run extra drills. It had felt like centuries since he last saw you, and seeing you even just for a second would have undoubtedly made his day better. Dammit, Travis.

Deciding he didn’t want to endure any of Kevin’s teasing, Nolan suppressed his disappointment and tried to subtly get more details out of his roommate.

“She didn’t text me about coming over. What did she need?”

“Well, after making fun of us for our empty fridge and pantry, she said gave me all of these bags,” Kevin gestured to the bags behind him. “Said she visited a grocery store nearby and figured she could get some stuff for us, too,” he continued.

A smile graced Nolan’s face as he recalled the conversation you and he shared about his grocery shopping (or lack thereof) habits.

“She also brought over these cookies she made, but I think I’m gonna have to take these for myself,” Kevin grinned, reaching for another cookie from the tupperware container. “Why do my ‘just-friends’ never bake me cookies?” he nearly moaned at the taste of the treats.

“Maybe because you have no restraint and eat cookies that are meant for your roommate, you jerk,” Nolan remarked.

“Hey, I was being nice by telling you she brought these cookies over. If I really wanted to, I could’ve hid these. You can have a bite, though,” he stuck out his already half-eaten cookie in front of Nolan’s face.

Flipping Kevin off, Nolan walked over to the counter with the bags. Pulling out their contents, he slowly started placing everything in the pantry and fridge. In the second bag, he found a box of cheez-its with a small piece of paper tacked on the top.

Doing you a favor by buying you these, no need to thank me. Miss ya lots <3

Under the message, your name was messily etched onto the lined paper along with a smiley face. Nolan could almost hear your feigned-snarkiness through your note.

Once all of the groceries were put away, Nolan returned to his room. He immediately plugged in his phone before pressing your name under his FaceTime contacts. It only took a couple of rings before you picked up. Your hair was in a loose ponytail, large glasses covering your face. You looked exhausted from the stress you were undoubtedly experiencing because of your soon-to-be-due paper, but your positive personality radiated through Nolan’s phone screen nonetheless.

“Should I feel guilty that my snack collection was so pathetic that a busy college student felt compelled to take time out of their day to buy me food?” Nolan joked.

“I felt guilty that we had been friends for months before I found out that your pantry was that pathetic,” you laughed. “But seriously, don’t worry about it. I was in the area and I know you’ve been super busy recently so I figured I could help you out. The cheez-its were the first thing I saw in the store and I thought of you and that conversation we had when I came to your place for the first time,” you sheepishly responded.

Every few seconds, your eyes would dart back to your laptop, where you were taking notes. Nolan knew that you would never want him to think that he was calling you at a bad time, but the laptop’s reflections on your glasses gave away your act. Of course he felt bad, but he was momentarily distracted by the warm feeling that overcame him. It was such a sweet gesture, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t get butterflies at the sound of your confession.

“Y/N you didn’t have to do this, but I really appreciate it. Thanks for the cookies, too. Pretty sure Hayesy destroyed half of the container before I even got home,” Nolan laughed.

“Oh, gosh,” you started, “in hindsight I probably should’ve texted you to let you know I was coming over, but I wanted to surprise you.”

Upon hearing you words, Nolan’s beaming smile grew impossibly wider. And to his dismay, the butterflies came back for a second time.

“Hey, I gotta go but I promise I’ll text you soon. My prof is out for blood with this assignment,” you groaned. “Maybe we can do dinner at your place now that you have more than two things in your fridge.”

Nolan laughed off your banter and nodded in agreement. He felt like a giddy school girl. “Yea, yea of course. We can pick up on ‘How to Get Away With Murder’ while we’re at it.”

“It’s a date,” you flashed him a thumbs up. “Oh, and I think your shirt’s on backwards,” you giggled and tugged at the collar of your own sweater to emphasize your point. Luckily for Nolan, you hung up before you could see his embarrassed expression.

Had it not been for the fact that you called your upcoming plans with Nolan a “date,” he would have cared more about his shirt issue. But, here he was laying in his bed and already counting down the days until he’d get to see you again.

He knew you meant it as a friend date, but could you blame him for envisioning what it’d be like to go on a romantic date with you? He wanted to bake homemade cookies with you, run his fingers through your hair when you were stressed from school, and become consumed in pointless conversations about anything and everything with you. Hell, he even wanted to help you proofread your school papers, even if he’d have no idea what the fuck the Pygmalion Effect is. He adored so many things about you and was more than willing to jump through hoops and hurdles if it meant he could be your source of happiness and support.

And that’s when Nolan knew he was in trouble. He had never let his mind drift this far, and he usually had enough self-restraint to stop himself from envisioning you as his girlfriend. He knew he needed to stop before he dug a hole for himself that he wouldn’t be able to get out of. But if he was being honest, Nolan quite liked the warm feeling he had from the thought of calling you his.

Oh god.

Nolan was so far gone for you. Kevin knew it, his teammates probably knew it from the dozens of times he managed to bring you up in conversations, and now he certainly knew it for himself. What he didn’t know, however, was if you felt the same feeling of anticipation in the pit of your stomach at the thought of being more than just friends.

+ her

After your FaceTime call with Nolan, you finally gathered enough motivation to finish your paper. You weren’t sure if it was because of your excitement to see Nolan or because you were sick of staring at your screen, but you were nonetheless relieved when you sent off the finalized version of your work.

The two of you eventually settled on meeting at his place on Saturday night, which was only a couple of days away.

If you were being frank with yourself, you knew that you were catching feelings for Nolan, but how could you not? He has immaculate music taste, is a great listener, and always knows the best ways to make your off-days better. Not long after you met him for the first time, you had a feeling that it wouldn’t take long for you to want a more-than-friends relationship with him. In fact, it was frightening to acknowledge how much better your life has been now that Nolan is involved. You were a little embarrassed that he was able to sweep you off your feet as quickly as he did, but you couldn’t control how you felt. Well, that’s at least what you kept telling yourself.

You weren’t entirely sure how to deal with your feelings for Nolan. You relied on familiarity and stability in your life, and if Nolan didn’t reciprocate your feelings towards him, there was no doubt all hell would break loose — at least for you. Per every rom-com you’ve ever watched, you were fully aware that unrequited feelings, in most cases, was a one-way ticket to a doomed and awkward friendship. If confessing your feelings towards an indifferent Nolan meant that your friendship with him would be jeopardized, you would gladly keep your thoughts to yourself.

It was hard, though. Sometimes he treated you like you were the only person in the room, and other times, it felt pretty clear that he only saw you in an extremely platonic light. Of course none of your friends could tell the difference between your interactions with the centerman because they always teased the two of you about needing to finally date each other. However, his mixed-signals convinced you that you had a chance with him on some nights and that you were overthinking everything the next.

As much as you wanted to tell Maya about your dilemma, you knew that she was terrible at keeping secrets. In any other circumstance, you would’ve told her that you liked someone the minute you found out. However, considering how her boyfriend’s a teammate of Nolan, it would have been game over if Joel knew. As much as he prided himself on having a tighter seal on secrets than Maya, he wasn’t much of an improvement from your best friend. You considered telling your other friends because you desperately needed someone to vent-out your feelings to, but you didn’t have the energy to explain how you ended up being wrapped around the fingers of a Philadelphia Flyers player.

So, here you were, in bed and confused. You were counting down the days until you’d get to see Nolan again, but you also wish you had more time to figure out what to do about your feelings. Part of you told you that you could handle pushing away your emotions for the few hours you would be with Nolan. The other (and more obnoxious) part of your brain, though, sent blaring red sirens through your body at the thought of your Plan A. It warned you that internalizing your feelings was a terrible idea and that no matter how tempting it would be to pretend like you weren’t falling for Nolan, maybe it’d be better to just rip off the bandaid and tell him.

You went back and forth between your two plans and were sure that if anyone could take a look into your brain, they would be faced with thoughts that were racing around at a million miles per hour. (And they’d probably  have pity on you.)

As if someone was witnessing your inner turmoil fetter within you in real time, it seemed like your prayers for more time were answered when you fell ill with a cold Saturday morning.

Sure, it wasn’t ideal. You sure as hell were not enjoying your congestion and occasional chills, but at least you had plenty of time to sort things out. It was disappointing to know that you wouldn’t get to see Nolan, but he was extremely understanding of your issue. He reassured you that you shouldn’t feel guilty for bailing, especially since you were sick. He even made you promise that you would get plenty of rest and that you wouldn’t apologize for something you couldn’t control.

With those words from Nolan, you took your promise to heart and slipped into a much-needed slumber.

+ him

“So, Patty, care to explain to Teeks what you were planning to use these candles for?” Hayesy teased as he plucked a tealight candle from its spot on the kitchen table.

Kevin knew you and Nolan had made plans for dinner, and he also happened to know that Nolan finally came to terms with his feelings for you. As much as he chirped the younger hockey player, he was glad that Nolan wasn’t beating around the bush anymore. Kevin adored you and had no doubt that you were a perfect match for his friend.

Travis, on the other hand, looked extremely confused. With furrowed eyebrows, he shifted his focus from the television to Nolan, who was sending death glares at his roommate.

“Well, I, um-” Nolan was cut off by Kevin.

“Patty here was gonna have a super-romantic, candle-lit dinner with the girl he’s been pining over for ages,” Kevin excitedly cut to the chase. If a bystander didn’t know any better, they’d think that Kevin was more ecstatic about the dinner than Nolan.

Those words definitely caught Travis’ attention. He got up from his spot from the couch and joined his two friends in the kitchen. “Wow, Pats,” he playfully shoved his friend's shoulder, “took you long enough. Was fully convinced I was gonna have to do something about your weak game.”

Nolan’s eyes widened upon hearing TK’s comments. Was he really that obvious?

He could barely comprehend his feelings for you just a couple of days ago, and he definitely didn’t tell Travis about these newly-discovered feelings yet. He didn’t even plan to tell Kevin about it. He fully intended to have you be the first to know, but Kevin managed to get Nolan to crack.

“Ok, fuck off,” Nolan mumbled. Sure, he was a little slow at realizing his feelings, but better late than never. “Y/N was supposed to come over for dinner tonight, but she’s sick,” Nolan explained. He purposefully left out the fact that he was toying with the idea of confessing his feelings for you after the now-cancelled dinner.

“Oh shit,” Travis was the first to speak up.

“Does that mean you’ll be cooking for us instead?” Kevin added, wiggling his eyebrows towards Nolan and fist-bumping Travis.

“No, I don’t know what it means, but I can tell you right now that there is no way in hell I’m cooking for you two slobs.” Nolan replied. “I was thinking of bringing soup over to her place as a surprise or something.”

At that, both Travis and Kevin’s faces told Nolan that they needed him to elaborate.

“What? She told me that she was craving soup, and Maya is on that road trip with Joel so I figured…” Nolan’s voice gradually decreased in volume.

Travis was the first to interject, “I, for one, think that’s a great idea. Gotta roll with the punches, you know?”

Of course, no conversation between the three guys would be completed without Kevin’s incessant teasing. “We can barely tolerate you when we’re fully healthy — what makes you think Y/N is gonna want to see you while she’s sick?” he chuckled.

“You’re such a pain in the ass,” Nolan groaned.

“You know you love me,” Hayesey playfully blew a kiss in Nolan’s direction. “Here, let TK and me help you with the soup. We gotta make sure it doesn’t make Y/N feel worse than she already does,” he suggested.

+ him & her

Staying true to his words, Kevin made sure Nolan’s attempt at making homemade soup went smoothly. After getting a thumbs-up from both of his teammates, Nolan filled some soup containers up and headed over to your place. He opted out from texting you about his arrival just in case you were sleeping and banked on the possibility that you still had a spare key under the small flower pot in front of your door.

Although Nolan nagged you for the key placement and insisted that it was a terrible hiding place for a key, he was grateful that it was still there when he arrived to your apartment’s door. Quietly letting himself in, he set the soup on the kitchen island before softly calling your name.

He quietly treaded to your room, which he’d only been in twice out of the dozens of times he had come over. Once he poked his head into your bedroom, he couldn’t stop his heart from overflowing with adoration for you. You were swaddled in a mountain of pillows and blankets. Your soft snores flowed through the room, and your messy hair partially covered your content face. You looked like you were at peace, and Nolan was glad to see that you were resting up.

The sight of you filled him with joy and he silently thanked his past-self for not calling and waking you up. Snapping himself out of his trance, Nolan had to remind himself that he was probably being extremely creepy. You probably wouldn’t let him live it down if you caught him, and he knew he wouldn’t have any excuse for his compromising position. Well, other than the fact that he was hopelessly falling for you and that everything you did made his feelings for you increasingly clear.

With it being close to dinnertime, Nolan figured that it wouldn’t be much longer until you woke up. He returned back into the living space of your apartment and found a comfortable place on the suede couch as he waited.

Sure enough, 15 minutes later, you emerged from your bedroom. “Nolan?” you softly murmured. The two syllables were coated in drowsiness, and Nolan swore he would’ve done anything to hear you utter his name like that again.

He looked up from his phone and suddenly had to remind himself how to breathe.

You were wrapped in a wool blanket, but a sliver of your sweater peaked out from the part where your blanket couldn’t fully cover. He’d recognize the black and orange pattern anywhere, but what stuck out to him was the “19” that was spread across the corner of your sweatshirt. Well, it was actually his sweatshirt if he wanted to get technical. His heart was beating out of his chest at the sight of you wearing his clothes and if he wasn’t sure if he was falling in love with you before, he was definitely sure now.

“I-, hi, Y/N. M’sorry for coming over like this, but I knew you said you wanted soup, and my mom has the really great chicken noodle soup recipe, and Teeks and Hayesy even helped me even though I’m not really sure if that was the best idea because Teeks almost mistook cinnamon for cayenne but-” Nolan started to ramble. He wasn’t sure why he was so flustered. It was the first time he’d gone out of his way this much for a girl and he was subconsciously stalling just in case you might’ve perceived his act of kindness as something that was way too creepy and something that supposed just-friends don’t do.

“Nols,” you started, “that’s so sweet of you, but you didn’t have to do that! I could’ve just sent for an UberEats so you wouldn’t have had to go through all of that trouble for me.”

Nolan wanted to stop you and let you know that he’d swim across the Atlantic Ocean for you. However, he settled for something a little less revealing. “Don’t worry, Y/N, I promise I wanted to do this. Plus if I didn’t, how would I have gotten to see you wearing my number?” he smirked.

Your gaze slowly descended to your body, where you were in fact wearing Nolan’s sweater. He forgot to take it home the last time he was over at your place, and you couldn’t help that it looked extremely comfy. A rush of blood and warmth flooded through your face. “I started wearing it because I missed you and it smells like your cologne,” you cringed for including that last detail, “but it’s actually so soft and I don’t think I’ll be returning this,” you tightened the blanket around you to emphasize your point.

Were you trying to kill Nolan? His brain was overloaded with emotions and this was probably the nail in the coffin. This was it for him. In the few seconds following your explanation, he knew he’d do everything in his power to get to see you like this for the rest of his life. He was sure a younger version of himself would’ve laughed at him for being so dramatic, but he also knew that his younger-self hadn’t met you yet.

“You pull off the sweater better than I do, so you can keep it,” he cheekily smiled. His eyes couldn’t decide if they’d rather look at your sleep-pampered face or his sweatshirt that engulfed you.

“What rom-com movie did you pull that line from?” you chuckled.

He dramatically gasped, “I’m truly offended.” He also took note of how you’ve been standing in the same place for minutes, “Also, why are you standing so far away? Promise I don’t bite,” Nolan joked while he reached out in your direction with grabby hands.

“I don’t wanna get you sick. Don’t know how your coach would feel if you caught the cold with the season so close,” you reasoned with a playful tone.

“That’s a later problem. Please c’mere, I missed you too much,” his eyes pleaded with yours. How could you say no when he had that look on his face?

You hesitatingly approached Nolan, still trying to keep your distance from him. You genuinely didn’t want to get him sick, but you were also still deciding about whether or not you wanted to bury away your feelings for him or let him know what was on your mind. You weren’t expecting Nolan to come over, and you were now wishing that you spent some of your snooze time on sorting out your Nolan dilemma.

Taking a few strides forward, you reached the coffee table that was only a meter or so away from Nolan. Apparently that distance was still too far for Nolan, though, because he grabbed for your hand and tugged you into his body. His scent instantly overcame your senses and you promptly relaxed into his hold. Your body was awkwardly positioned over his but his tight grip on you, which shifted down to your hips, gave no sign that Nolan wanted you to get off of him. With this signal, you repositioned yourself so each of your legs found a home on either side of his lap. His arms wrapped around your body, and your chest was pressed against his as you nuzzled your head between the junction of his neck and shoulder.

For a while, neither of you said anything. It was a serene moment and truthfully, neither of you needed to exchange words to express how much you both cared for one another. There was no better way to make up for lost time than to fully appreciate the other’s presence, and neither of you were in a rush to get out of the situation that you two were in.

Occasionally, Nolan would pepper kisses along your hairline and twirl your hair along his fingers. Praying that you couldn’t feel how fast his heart was beating, he tried his best to calm the thoughts that were incessantly running through his mind. Nolan never wanted this delicate moment to end for multiple reasons. Perhaps the biggest reason, though, was because he was trying to formulate the right way to tell you how he felt about you. He wasn’t sure if he’d find a more perfect time than this one, and he wanted to make sure that everything he was going to say to you would properly express how much he cared for you and wanted you in his life as a more-than-friend.

Another few moments passed before he finally mustered up the courage to break the silence.

“I love you,” he breathed out.

He waited for your response, but was only met with a deafening silence. Unfortunately for Nolan, he never got to see your reaction to his confession because your drowsy state seemed to pull you into another sleeping trance just as quickly as Nolan spoke the three words.

+ her

Following the night that Nolan had come over to bring you soup, the two of you became a lot more physically affectionate. Whether it was cuddles on your couch or hugs that lingered for a little too long, you knew you were chartering into dangerous territory. You didn’t treat any of your guy friends in the same way you did Nolan, and somewhere along the road, you knew this shift in dynamic was precariously dancing between the line of platonic and romantic.

Maya and Joel picked up on it, too. Nearly every chance they got, the two attempted to get you or Nolan to finally confess that things had changed. They were never successful, however. Nolan would always brush off Joel’s inquiries and play off the situation. As for yourself, you ultimately decided to keep your feelings to yourself, too scared to lose the special connection you had with Nolan.

You had done a decent job of keeping your feelings locked away in the depths of your heart until the season opener for the Flyers.

Nolan had asked you to go, and as much as you would love nothing more than to root on your best friend, you were called into work at the last minute. You tried your best to see if any of your other co-workers could pick up the shift, but you were stuck watching the game from your phone as you begrudgingly got through your shift. You couldn’t forget the way Nolan’s excited expression fell after you told him you couldn’t make it and even though your shift was scheduled to end during the game’s third period, there was no way you would have made it to the Wells Fargo Center in time.

After your shift, you took out your phone and swiped through your friend’s SnapChat stories. Since Maya went to the game to support Joel, you had the apartment to yourself. Clicking on your best friend’s name on the app, you smiled as you watched the video that she’d put on her story. The Flyers clinched their first win for the season, and based on Maya’s story, it looked like everyone had gone to a nearby bar to celebrate. Despite the fact that her story was a video of Joel, that’s not what caught your attention.

Instead, it was the sight of a man in the background, his arms draped around a girl who was cozily perched upon his lap. His chin was resting on her shoulder, and you knew from the unmistakable rosy cheeks that the man was Nolan. Although the image lasted no more than a few seconds as the frame of Maya’s camera moved, you suddenly felt yourself become nauseous. Your fingers moved by themselves, torturing you as you watched the video over and over again to make sure you weren’t playing mind games on yourself.

You weren’t sure how to react. A mix of hurt and jealousy swarmed your body, sending shivers of confusion through it. You knew you had no right to be so upset. After all, Nolan and you never had a conversation about where you two stood. You two were still just friends — even though you’ve known for a while that your interactions with Nolan have meant much more to you than you’d let on. For all you knew, you could have been mistaking Nolan’s physical affection for something more. For all you knew, the physical affection never made Nolan’s heart beat race in the same way it did with yours.

Nolan wasn’t yours, but you so badly wish he were. You became increasingly frustrated at yourself for letting your heart believe that there was something more between you and Nolan. You knew you were playing a risky game — a game that you had just lost, because it became painfully apparent that Nolan only ever saw you as a friend. The video continued to play, though your clouded vision and mind drowned out its volume. A teardrop slipped down your heated cheeks and pattered onto your phone screen. You berated yourself with what-ifs, wondering if you could have done anything different to be able to call Nolan yours. Maybe it was never meant to be, but that didn’t mean that you didn’t beat yourself up over the situation.

Ditching your plans to immediately sleep after getting home from work, you made a beeline to the kitchen’s wine cabinet. You now let your tears run freely and let yourself drown in affliction. You didn’t even flinch when Maya and Joel entered the apartment, who both rushed to you with concern after they noticed your tear-splotched shirt and face that was swollen and red from crying.

Not used to seeing their typically calm and collected friend in such a state of disarray, the couple wasn’t quite sure how to approach the issue. For what felt like the first time in forever, you decided to be transparent with your thoughts. You had spent so long compartmentalizing your feelings that the need to let them out and the countless glasses of wine had you admitting your feelings for Nolan to the two. You didn’t want their pity, and you were thankful that they let you speak without interruption. Your words, though slurred, clearly explained how you felt foolish for falling for Nolan in the first place. You explained how your friendship with Nolan had evolved into something much more for you and how you couldn’t pretend like you didn’t love him as more than just a friend anymore.

At the end of your spiel, Maya and Joel shared a knowing look with each other. Maya looked like she was fuming, though she tried her best to maintain composure as she pulled you into a hug. You almost missed the way Joel cursed under his breath, calling Nolan an idiot. They were so sure Nolan had felt something towards you, and weren’t sure how to respond when you drunkenly asked what you did wrong for Nolan to be oblivious to the way that you only had eyes for him.

As much as they loved Nolan, they adored you just as much and felt terrible for the pain that you were going through.

Apparently not terrible enough to postpone movie nights, however. Some time down the road, you, Nolan, Maya, Joel, Travis, and Kevin made a habit of gathering for a few hours each week to watch movies and hang out. You almost forgot about it in your moping state until Maya brought up a few days later that it was your and Maya’s turn to host. The blood drained out of your face when she reminded you, and your first instinct was to come up with an excuse to miss the night at all costs. You didn’t want to ruin the budding tradition, but you weren’t ready to see Nolan either.

As much as it hurt to still be in contact with Nolan, the thought of cutting him off hurt just as much. So, you subjected yourself to the heartache of talking to someone as if you weren’t enamored with. After the night of your break down, Nolan tried texting and calling you as usual. Although you weren’t ignoring him, you kept your texts brief and the phone calls even shorter. You felt bad for creating a wall between you and Nolan, especially since he wasn’t sure what was going on with you. He often asked what was on your mind, but you typically brushed it off and churned out a half-true excuse about being busy with school before cutting your conversations with him short.

Maya understood your discomfort with the situation, and offered to call off the movie night. You quickly objected, not wanting to ruin the night for the others just because you were battling your own demons. You told her that the movie night could go on at your shared apartment, and that you would find something to keep you out of the house for a while.

Your escape from the apartment came in the form of Austin, a boy from your psych class. Although you two didn’t speak to one another much, his kind eyes and bashful smile always led you to gladly agree whenever he’d asked to sit in the open spot next to you in the lecture hall.

One day, after you offered your notes to him for a day he missed, he offered to take you out for dinner in return. Although you were hesitant at first, you couldn’t think of any cons that would weigh out the opportunity for a free meal and spending a few hours with the charming boy. Plus, he had mentioned that he was a transfer student from out of state, and you knew how much you would have appreciated a few friends from school when you first moved to the city. Ultimately agreeing to his proposition, you gave him your number and scheduled the dinner for the same night and time as the movie night.

When the night of your plans with Austin came around, you made sure to leave your apartment before the guys were coming over. Because you felt guilty for skipping on the movie night, you attempted to help Maya set up the snack. However, Maya insisted that you shouldn’t keep Austin waiting and that she could handle the food herself. When you told her about Austin, she was ecstatic for you. She knew how difficult the past week has been for you and nearly screeched with excitement when you told her that you had actual plans for the weekend.

She gave you a hug and reminded you to call her if you were in an emergency before practically pushing you out of the door.

+ her

The night with Austin went better than planned, and you genuinely enjoyed yourself. Not wanting to give Austin any false impressions, you made sure that the night was strictly platonic. Luckily for you, Austin was incredibly understanding. Although you didn’t miss the look of slight disappointment on his face when you told him that you weren’t interested in being anything more than friends, he respected your decision and upheld his offer for dinner.

Quickly, you found out that you two had a similar sense of humor. Austin was easy to talk to and eventually, you opened up to him about Nolan. You nearly apologized for doing so — you weren’t planning to drop your baggage on a boy that you barely knew. However, Austin was surprisingly good at giving advice and even recounted some of his own stories about unreturned feelings. It was nice to be able to talk to someone that could relate to you.

Knowing that Nolan was at your apartment, Austin suggested that you two get dessert and explore the city to make sure that the hockey player would be gone before you got home. At first, you turned down his idea, jokingly arguing that he didn’t have to spend his whole Saturday night with you out of pity. In spite of your protests, Austin promised that he wanted to continue spending time with you and didn’t mind the idea of getting ice cream.

You didn’t return home until it was nearly midnight. You were sure that the boys would have already headed home, since they had a morning skate the next day.

Opening the door, you were shocked to see that everyone was still in the apartment, eyes occupied on the Marvel movie on the television. Your eyes immediately landed on Nolan’s figure, and you contemplated your next actions.

Settling on trying to go unnoticed by the group, you tried your best to discreetly enter your home and head to your room. With everyone's backs turned away from you, you almost made it to your room safely.

You were so close until your keys loudly fell onto the floor as you tried to remove them from the lock. Instantly, everyone’s heads turned to the front door. Someone turned on the living room’s lights, and you became uncomfortably aware of everyone’s attention on you.

You flashed them a smile, and Maya was the first to speak.

“How was your date?” she slyly questioned, making sure that everyone in the room heard her.

You raised an eyebrow at her question. Maya knew that the night with Austin wasn’t a date. However, the way she glanced at Nolan reminded you that he and the other guys, for that matter, didn’t know that. Not wanting to entertain whatever plan she was brewing in her mind, you tried not to acknowledge her question, flashing her a nervous smile.

“You ditched us for a date?” Travis gasped incredulously, clenching his hand above his heart for the added dramatic effect.

“Is that why the cookies were weird? I knew something was wrong with them when I nearly broke a tooth trying to eat one,” Hayesy laughed as an embarrassed Maya threw a pillow in his direction. You chuckled along with the joke, knowing that you should’ve stuck around to help her bake them. You made sure to promise not to miss the next movie night and even reassured Kevin that you would make a fresh batch of cookies just for him next time.

As Joel chimed in with the others about your “date,” Nolan remained oddly quiet.

His body language was stiff, and his eyes were mostly glued to his lap. He was playing with his fingers and refused to look you in the eyes. He almost looked uncomfortable, his smile forced whenever someone made another funny remark. Although everyone seemed oblivious to it, you couldn’t help but notice the way Nolan was biting the inside of his cheek. It was a habit that you noticed before, but you usually only ever saw him do it when he was in deep concentration or thought. You wouldn’t lie and say that it didn’t hurt to see that Nolan didn’t even acknowledge your presence. Of course he didn’t owe you anything, but your heart didn’t necessarily know that.

You didn’t want to overanalyze anything, though. So, after chuckling at their comments, you headed to your room to remove your makeup and change into the oversized tee shirt and lounge shorts that you had been looking forward to changing into ever since you left the apartment.

“Calling it a night already?”

Upon hearing the question, you nearly had to do a double take. It was the first time you had heard Nolan’s voice all night. The lack of inflection in his voice transformed the previously light-hearted atmosphere thick with tension.

“Um, yea. It’s been a long night and I don’t know how much longer I can keep my eyes open,” you curtly responded with the first excuse that you could come up with, continuing en route to your room without sparing Nolan another glance. You gave everyone in the living space a small wave before you slipped into your room.

Although your reasoning was partially true, you didn’t know if you could handle being so close to Nolan at the moment. The two of you had gotten used to snuggling up together during movie nights and with your current emotional disarray, you didn’t want to put yourself in the position where you had to pretend like you weren’t still hurt at the thought of Nolan not seeing you in the same light that you saw him. And, regardless of how idiotic Nolan’s teammates could act at times, you knew they were pretty observant — especially when it came to you and Nolan’s complex friendship. If you decided to join in on the movie night but sit in any seat that wasn’t next to Nolan, they'd undoubtedly pick up on it.

Even though you thought your excuse was enough to get by your attentive friends, everyone in the room —bar Nolan— exchanged knowing looks with each other after once they heard the lock of your doorknob click into place. They knew how much you loved movie nights and how you were usually a night owl, regardless of how busy your day was. In fact, it was usually you that begged for an extra movie to be played when everyone was ready to call it a night.

More importantly, they knew you had a soft spot for Nolan. They weren’t ignorant to the way you’d sprint through hoops and hurdles to spend time with Nolan, mostly because they noticed how Nolan would go great lengths to see you, too. It had been a while since you last saw Nolan, and they figured that you would jump on the chance to be in your best friend’s presence again. Of course Maya had to play along, pretending as if she didn’t know why you were avoiding Nolan.

Even though Nolan was a little more subtle with his actions and words, it was no secret that Nolan missed you. His question from earlier was his way of asking you if everything was alright and if you wanted to spend time with him, and your deflection to his implied questions told everyone what they needed to know.

They weren’t quite sure what was going on between you and Nolan, but they knew things weren’t the same as they used to be.

Noting the way Nolan’s shoulders sunk after you disappeared into your bedroom, Maya was the first to rise from her seat. The mood of the night quickly became awkward after Nolan’s short-lived interaction with you, and Maya had no intention of having to sit through another hour of the movie if it were going to be this uncomfortable. She also hoped to talk to you before you actually went to sleep.

“Well, I think I’m gonna head to bed, too. I have to pick up an early shift tomorrow,” she explained as she gathered her blankets from the couch. “You’re staying the night, right?” she asked Joel.

Painfully aware of the newfound tension, her boyfriend silently nodded and helped Maya bring the rest of the throw pillows and blankets.

“You all can finish the rest of the movie,” Maya nodded towards Nolan, Travis, and Kevin. “Just lock up on your way out once it’s over. There should be a spare key under the flower pot outside.” Waving to the guys in the living room, Maya tugged Joel into her room and shut the door.

And then there were three.

+ him

Nolan’s jaw was beginning to ache from how hard he was clenching his teeth together. He didn’t know how to take in the rollercoaster of emotions that he had been feeling for the past few days. He wasn’t oblivious to the barrier that seemed to build up between you and him, but he didn’t know how that wall formed in the first place, let alone how to get over it.

He thought the past few days had been rocky, but he was certainly not prepared for his heartstrings to be pulled into so many directions tonight.

Nolan was looking forward to seeing you in person and was more than disheartened to hear that you were out for the night after he awkwardly asked Maya about your whereabouts. Your roommate didn’t go into the specifics of why you were missing out on the movie night, so he was left to his own devices to figure out where you were.

Of course he could’ve texted you, but given your erratic reply rates as of late, he resorted to refreshing his SnapChat and Instagram apps every once in a while to see if you were posting about where you were spending your weekend night.

Nolan wanted to understand why there was a strain in the relationship and more than anything, he needed your reassurance to know that everything was alright. He partly thought you were distancing yourself from him because he had made his feelings for you too obvious and you didn’t see him in that same way. The theory wasn’t even farfetched. His friends always made fun of him for being so whipped for you, and Nolan knew that you hated letting others down. Throughout his friendship with you, he had quickly learned that you would much rather deal with the brunt of someone else’s problems than to let them down. The thought of you distancing yourself from Nolan just because you only saw him as just a friend hurt Nolan, and he needed to let you know that he’d much rather deal with his feelings being unreciprocated than to have you fade away from his life.

Nolan also thought that he said something wrong and made you upset. However, after replaying all of the conversations he had with you leading up to your new treatment towards him, he didn’t know what he would have said that would have made you this indifferent to him.

Your social media gave no hints as to what you were doing, so Nolan let his imagination run wild with all of the reasons why you would’ve skipped movie night, especially when you were usually so excited about them.

When you entered the apartment a few hours after his arrival, Nolan felt his heartbeat begin to thrum as loud as a kick drum. All of the hypothetical situations that were previously occupying his mind were now invaded with thoughts about how good you looked. Nolan recognized the denim jacket you were wearing as the one that you had gotten a few months ago. He had just finished an afternoon practice when you FaceTimed him and couldn’t contain your excitement about finding the “most perfect article of clothing” you’ve ever owned. Although Nolan chirped you for driving so far away just for a jacket, the ecstatic expression on your face that day was one he’d never forget. It was also one that he so desperately craved to see for the rest of his life.

Just as quickly as he was brought out of his slump from seeing you, he was rudely pulled back down to reality after Maya asked you about your date. Needless to say, the warmth that filled his heart left as quickly as it had entered. Jealousy consumed Nolan, and he was momentarily blinded by a pain that he couldn’t quite describe.

As his friends joke around with you, Nolan struggled comprehending the thought of you with another guy. He had no right to be upset, really. Not when he couldn’t muster up the courage to tell you how he felt and especially not when your eyes were twinkling with so much elation.

Throughout the friendship Nolan had developed with you, you never mentioned that you were going on dates or seeking relationships. The hopeless romantic in him let him believe that maybe, just maybe, you were saving your heart for the right person. For him.

However, the breathy chuckle you released after Maya’s question shattered any amount of hope that Nolan had built up. Now, instead of butterflies, Nolan’s stomach was filled with a piercing ache. As if he wanted to punish himself more for not being more vocal about his feelings for you, Nolan attempted to ask you to join the movie night. Sure, maybe he wasn’t exactly direct with his words, but he was hoping you’d pick up on his hint. Nolan shouldn’t have been so surprised when you decided to go to your room instead of joining him and the others, but the already-tense coil in his stomach continued to tighten.

After you went to your room, followed by Maya and Joel, Nolan looked at the remaining people in the room.

“We’re sorry, Pat,” Travis was the first to speak. His words were laced with sympathy, knowing how much his friend was head over heels for you.

Moving from his seat to stand over his younger teammate, Kevin rose from the couch and rubbed Nolan’s shoulder. “Let’s head home, yea?” Kevin attempted to dance around the topic of you.

“I’ll meet you two in the car. Just need to clear my head for a bit,” Nolan muttered to his understanding friends.

Quietly, Travis and Kevin left the apartment, making sure to shut the door carefully as to not disturb their teammate.

+ him & her

Thinking you were in the clear after hearing the front door close, you left your room in hopes of making a mug of tea.

You felt bad for avoiding Nolan, but you didn’t know how else to deal with the thousands of thoughts that cycled through your brain.

To say you were unprepared to see Nolan in your living would be an understatement. His arms were propped on his knees and his face was cradled by his hands. His shoulders were slouched and his tousled hair looked as if he had run his hands through it multiple times.

You weren’t sure if you should’ve just turned back around and locked yourself in your room, but your instincts beckoned you to come closer to Nolan. No matter how hurt you were, he was your best friend first and foremost. If there was anything you could do to bring him out of his clear distress, you would do it without a second thought.

“Nolan?” you meekly called out his name.

Nolan slowly moved his head just enough so he could hear the source of the sound. Unintentionally mimicking your facial expression, he looked just as stunned to see you. “Sorry, I thought you would’ve already been asleep. I was uh- I was just about to head out,” he timidly said.

“Stay as long as you need. I’ve been trying to sleep but didn’t have much luck, so I’m hoping tea will help. Haven’t been able to get a good sleep for a while now,” you explained while opening a kitchen cupboard for a mug.

“Me neither. Things haven’t felt right recently,” he sighed. After his statement, the apartment was eerily quiet. Neither of you wanted to say anything else, scared of stepping over any boundaries or maybe the situation even more awkward.

You’re not sure what gears clicked into place, but you felt compelled to finally tell Nolan what was on your mind. The guilt of ignoring him was eating away at you, and you felt like you at least owed your best friend an explanation as to why you needed space from him. After you dropped the tea bag into your mug, you walked back towards the living space to where Nolan was still sitting.

“Look, I’m sorry,” you started.

Nolan didn’t say anything, his eyes pleading with you to continue with what you were saying.

“I’m just gonna lay everything out because I know I’m not gonna be brave enough to do this on any other occasion,” you prefaced, making sure Nolan was paying attention to what you were saying. You were already embarrassed that you had managed to think that Nolan could ever like you, and you did not want to have to verbally explain your emotional affliction more than one.

“I don’t really know when, but I caught feelings for you. At first I wasn’t sure what to do about it, because everyone always warns about falling for your best friend and I didn’t want to make things awkward between us if you didn’t feel the same,” you continued with your explanation, eventually getting to the part where you saw Nolan and the girl on Maya’s story.

“It just sucked, y’know? I thought I was doing a good job of suppressing my feelings and then I saw that. Obviously it’s not like we were dating or anything and I never told you how I felt at the time, but having that confirmation that there wasn’t actually anything between us was like a kick to the gut.”

“I feel terrible for letting my feelings get in the way of our friendship and reading all of the signs wrong. I don’t wanna lose you because of this, and I’m really trying to get over my silly feelings becau-” you were cut off by Nolan.

“What if I don’t want you to get over those feelings?” he said while approaching the spot you were standing in.

Your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach. You weren’t sure if you were hearing things right or if you were so sleep deprived that you were starting to make things up. “I-I’m not following,” you silently begged Nolan to continue.

“I liked you, too,” he confessed. “Well, I still like you. If I’m being honest, I think I’m in love with you,” he admitted all in one breath. “I thought it would be easier to try to get over you instead of dealing with the possibility of ruining our friendship just because I caught feelings,” he elaborated.

“Obviously it didn’t work, though. And I ended up messing up things between us anyway, so it really didn’t work,” he sighed with a hint of resignation in his tone. He wasn’t sure if he was referring to ruining the friendship, his chance of getting to call you his, or both. Upon that thought, Nolan became even more dejected after he was reminded about how you were just on a date a few hours ago.

Your head was spinning with each word. Every fiber in your body was consumed by joy, and you were now wide awake. Nolan was now only standing a few feet away from you. You still hadn’t replied to his confession, and you could tell that he was becoming increasingly nervous as he awaited your reaction. With that realization, you were drawn out of your thoughts. Your heart was lodged in your throat, and you knew that no words could articulate the words you wanted to tell Nolan, anyway.

With that, you closed the distance between the two of you. Your hands grabbed his and although he flinched a little bit, he welcomed your gesture and interlaced your fingers with him.

Going on your tiptoes to come a little closer to your face, you become hyper-aware of Nolan’s burning gaze. His face is painted with a light blush, and he’s biting the inside of his cheeks again.

“I hope this is okay,” is the last thing you whisper before you connect your lips to his.

Instinctively, Nolan’s hands pulled away from yours to find a home on your hips. He pulled you closer, attempting to deepen the kiss. The kiss was soft, reassuring, and everything in between. Nolan couldn’t stop the smile that was tugging on his lips, and had to pull away to make sure that this was actually happening.

He was met with your confused face, your eyebrows scrunched in the cutest way. His smile promptly turned into a smirk as you tried to pull him into a kiss, your shorter height causing you to barely graze the corner of his lips.

When Nolan released a chuckle, you started to become impatient. “What?” you questioned while narrowing your eyes towards the rosy-cheeked boy in front of you.

“Does this mean I’m forgiven?” he cheekily asked.

“Only if I get a second kiss,” you said with gleaming eyes, fingertips grazing along his jawline. With those words, Nolan wasted no time fulfilling your wish and peppering your neck with dozens of chaste kisses.

The two of you were so consumed with the high of finally getting to hear the other admit their feelings that neither of you heard the sound of the front door violently swinging open.

“Patty, where the fuck are yo-” Travis called, immediately realizing the moment he was intruding on. “You know what, I think I’m just gonna head out. Have a good night!” he awkwardly chuckled, undoubtedly embarrassed. He sent the two of you a thumbs up before quickly shutting the door as if he never interrupted.

“Oh my god,” Nolan said, his head falling into your shoulder and arms wrapping around your body. “I forgot that TK and Hayesy were waiting for me to come down. It’s probably been like half an hour at this point,” his laugh rumbled through your bones.

“Stay the night?” you offered. “Maybe I can finally get more than four hours of sleep,” you laughed.

“Mm, sounds like a plan,” Nolan peppered kisses along your neck before scooping you into his arms and heading to your bedroom.

Although both of you knew that there would be a lot to talk about the following morning, neither of you wanted to disrupt the current state of bliss that both of you were in. You and Nolan’s hearts were finally intertwined, and for now, that was enough to engulf you in ease.

[phdmama]

May 28, 2022

Today I am super excited to lift up my wonderful friend @suburbanmotel​ (suburbanmotel on AO3). Now,  I found suburbanmotel via their Teen Wolf fics which are absolutely phenomenal and if you read in that fandom and haven’t read them yet, you should really go do that. SUBM (I need a nickname sorry darling) is amazing. They were kind and patient when I left screeching comment after screeching comment as I binged their fic, and then when I threw myself into their DMs to SCREAM INCOHERENTLY about Fine which is just fucking astounding in how beautiful it is (as always, check the tags, this one hits some heavy topics).

Okay SUBM isn’t working for me. SubUb? I don’t know, sweetheart. I think I’ll just go with S. ANYWAY. S is an amazing writer, so so good. They manage to balance banter and wit with feelings and depth and it’s just so so beautiful. I love fic that make me feel SO PROFOUNDLY and S’s work absolutely does that, every time.

Which is why, when S shifted over to writing RPF in the hockey world, even though I don’t even go there, I went there with S. Because they’re that good.

Today I want to bring your attention to How to Build an Artificial Heart (Travis Konecny/Nolan Patrick, 7160 words, Mature). Okay Imma be real with you. I do not know who these people are. I cannot speak in any way to characterizations or anything. But this is what I said when I originally read this, and I stand by it, pals: Okay, look. Here’s the thing. I don’t even *GO* here. This is not my fandom, not even peripherally. I don’t know who these people are. What I do know is - this is absolutely beautiful, and painful and just so deft and delicate. So beautifully written, and just - yeah. “I miss you, too,” Nolan says, and opens his heart. Just like UGGGGH so lovely and soft and hopeful.

And I will also say, I’ve gotten to know S on a personal level and they are a person of astounding grace, strength, courage, and beauty. xox

[hockeyforthefirsttime]

Speechless- Nolan Patrick

AN: Is the ending literal trash? yes, do i care at this point? also yes, but not enough

Word count: just over 3k

TW: none that I can think of, but let me know if i need to tag something:)

i

Nolan is definitely bored at the bar. He is out and supposed to be celebrating a win, but third wheeling with Tavis and Karly, simply is not fun. Not that it ever has been, but as he watches them laugh at each other on the dance floor.. well he takes a deep sigh and an even deeper swig of his beer. Some of the team is gathered around the bar ordering another round of drinks, and as he is scanning the crowd a woman walks in front of him, making him look up at her. 

And stop dead in his thoughts. 

She is wearing jeans that cling to her curves just right, a deep magenta top that seems to wrap around her stomach, before it reveals a little more than he can handle, and he looks up at her and sees the ghost of a smile on her lips. She isn’t looking at him though. She seems to be looking into the crowded dance floor, and Nolan desperately wants to know who she is looking for. 

In any other situation like this, he would have swept her off of her feet and wouldn’t have put her down until they’d reach his bed. But her obliviousness to him has knocked him off balance it seems. 

“Hey Patty, me and Karly are gonna head home. Want a ride?” 

Travis comes up to Nolan, Karly in tow and the mysterious girl moves with a quiet sorry and a fleeting smile. Nolan can feel his eyes drift after her before he meets Travis’ eyes, which are brimming with amusement. 

“Nah, I’m good.” 

He answers, and Travis bursts out laughing. 

“What, so you can sit here and stare like some kind of creep the rest of the night?” 

Nolan sees Karly gently shoving on Travis, also having noticed Nolans lingering gaze. 

“As opposed to going home in the same car as you two rabbits? No thank you.” 

Travis and Karly bid their goodbyes as the rest of the team and their significant others appear back at the table. Nobody seems to take notice of the Nolans distantness though, pinning it down as just his Philly personality. Nobody really sees him staring at this girl dancing in vans and a pink top. 

As the song ends he watches her go up to the bar, so in normal Nolan fashion he gets up and heads in that direction. He takes a look down at his watch and in a second, a split fucking second, she is gone. 

ii

He’s so fucking tired. The game last night had been decent. They’d won in overtime and Nolan had the assist, yet he keeps going over the chances he had and the chances he missed making in his head. Driving to the rink is dreary but even more so than usual. It’s not until he stops at a red light that he wakes up. He’s supporting his head on his left arm and looking out the passenger seat window. His eyes widen when he sees who is in the beaten up truck next to him. 

The girl from the bar three weeks ago. She has her hair down her shoulders and is looking at him through her own window. When she catches his eyes, she gives him a wink. As if she recognizes him. And if this was anyone else he might have given her a half smile, or even a wink back. But no. He can feel his cheeks heating up and getting rosy. God how he wishes he could be as confident as he usually is. The girl in the other car seems to be laughing a little, a smile on her lips. Nolan swears she starts slipping away from view, and in that second he remembers. He’s at a fucking red light. Except it isn’t red anymore, made obvious by the boisterous truck behind him, basically laying on his horn. 

Quickly he presses his foot down on the gas pedal and looks for the beaten up truck, which is nowhere to be seen. 

iii

It’s still winter and Nolan for some reason unknown to him decides to take a walk in the park not far from his apartment. He blames it on his restlessness, which stems from sitting inside the entire weekend. It’s nearing Christmas time and the main section of the park is covered in fairy lights and christmas decorations. There’s even a stand that sells hot chocolate. 

He buys a cup, puts in his earbuds and starts walking. It is nice out, he decides, with all the people out enjoying the snow on the ground. There are even some kids out rolling big snowballs, which turn into snow men and women. He feels a sudden wave of content roll over him. And a smile subconsciously finds its way onto his lips.

Nolan walks a little further, and doesn’t really stop, until a ball of golden fur is at his feet, almost making him trip. The wagging tail is making the entire body of the dog move and he catches himself smiling and taking out one of the earbuds. Immediately he hears the voice of a girl shouting. 

“Akira!”

The dog at his feet, looks around eagerly as her owner sprints up to him. And Nolan can hardly believe his luck. It is the bar girl. 

“I’m so sorry, she usually doesn’t run off like that.” 

And judging by her attire she is out for a jog, which would explain how out of breath she is. Quickly she pulls a leash out of her pocket and hooks it onto Akira’s harness. 

“Oh there’s no worries.” 

Nolan manages to stutter out. He sees a little smirk on her lips and curses his reddening cheeks for being so obvious. He bends his head a little and scratches Akira behind her ears. The golden retriever leans into his touch and a soft chuckle escapes the girl standing in front of him. 

He is just about to ask the girl her name when a phone starts ringing. It’s hers. Quickly, from another pocket, she pulls out a phone and answers it. He watches with steady eyes as a frown starts to grow on her face. 

“Fuck, okay yeah, I’ll be home in a few.” 

She hangs up the phone and pockets it, before she turns to look at him again. With a wink she turns around and Akira follows. 

“See you around Shy Guy!”

And just like that she’s gone. His chocolate is no longer hot, so he tracks back to his apartment, with discouragement sitting in his chest like a rock.

iiii

The Starbucks is so full, the line goes through the door and that’s the reason why Nolan doesn’t even consider entering it. He turns and treks back a block until he sees this quaint little cafe he’s never really noticed. Which is no surprise, because it seems to be mostly inhabited by students. With the amount of computers and books up at the cafe tables and its location closer to UPenn it should come as no surprise. 

And maybe he gets a little hopeful that the bar girl will be there, so despite his logical mind, he enters through the glass doors and goes straight to the counter. The boy has to be around his own age, but a fair bit skinnier and with glasses on. It makes him look a bit too young in Nolan's eyes, but it doesn’t really matter. 

“Hey, what can I get you today?” 

The young boy asks as he wipes down the counter. 

“Ehh, just a large black coffee, please.” 

Nolan says and pulls out his wallet. He doesn’t completely register the bell over the door ringing, not until the gust of cold air washes over him. Instinctively he turns and spots a smaller frame entering the cafe. A hoodie over their head and a black jacket, lightly dusted with quickly melting snow.  And a pair of beaten up, black vans on their feet. His hopes rise, and yet again he is rewarded with the presence of the bar girl. She shakes out her hair a little as she pulls the hood off of her head. Nolan could swear his heart stopped right there. The evening sun shines through the window, making her hair appear as a halo around her. 

She hasn’t noticed him yet. So he turns and tries to calm his blush. The guy behind the counter has begun making his coffee so he doesn’t really know what to do. The bar girl comes up behind him. He can tell by the way the barista nods at her with a smile. 

“Hey Dylan, how are you today?” 

And Nolan is instantly a bit jealous of this Dylan, who gets to hear his name falling from her lips. 

“I’m good Rory, thanks, how are you?” 

Dylan answers, and it feels like his heart is in his throat. Her name is Rory? It suits her. 

“Could be better to be honest, this paper on existence due next week is really kicking my ass.” 

She answers as she comes closer, and Nolan moves further up the counter to give them room. 

“Tell me about it, you want the usual?” 

She nods and slings her backpack off one shoulder to unzip a pocket, and pulls out a card. Dylan finishes Nolan's order and places it on the corner of the counter. Nolan can feel his chance slip through his fingers and begins to panic a little. 

Until he spots a pen on the counter near his cup. Quickly he grabs it and scribbles his name and number on the cup. And he couldn’t have cued it better for AV to call him. He puts the cup down again and picks up the call. 

“Nolan, have you looked over the videos yet?”

Alain, straight to the point as usual. 

“Yeah, saw them yesterday, and I have some ideas in mind for me to improve.” 

He speaks into the phone, while he puts a hand on the back of his neck. 

“Good good, I will see you tomorrow then?” 

“Yes, sir. Bright and early.” 

And then they hang up. He sees that another cup has appeared beside his. He throws a quick glance at Rory, who is still talking to the barista,  and turns his cup the other way so the writing isn’t visible and grabs her cup. Then, he nods a goodbye to Dylan and exits the door. 

He’s almost half a block away when his phone rings. He hasn’t drunk out of the cup, but it smells a little sweet and enticing. He looks at the phone and sees an unknown number. He lets it ring twice more before answering.

“Hey, this is Nolan?” 

He tries to sound nonchalant. 

“Hey, Shy guy. This is Rory. You didn’t by any chance grab my coffee on the way out?” 

Despite the fact that he doesn’t actually know her, he swears he can hear a smile over the phone. And he is a little bit shocked by the nickname. 

“Oh, so this is who it belongs to?”

She lets out a little chuckle, before she answers. 

“Yeah, mind returning it?” 

He smiles at the laugh. 

+1

Nolan is different, not that he will admit it, but the team can tell. He seems to be more patient, more focused on practicing drills and getting them right, and also for some reason, more ready for practice to be over. At first it’s a subtle change, but after a while and two games where he plays over all very well, it seems to be more than just determination. It seems like he wants to impress someone. 

At first they shake it as him wanting to prove himself to.. well everyone. But one day when Oskar asks him who he is texting so frequently, Nolan can feel his cheeks and ears tint even more than usual. Damn her and the effect she has on him. He tries to play it cool with a casual shrug, but half the locker room seems to burst out laughing. Quickly he puts his phone in his pocket and heads for the door. 

“Have a good weekend guys!” 

He calls out behind him out of habit, as it is a weekend without games and he is taking a short trip home. Various chirps get called out behind him, but Teeks seems to be the loudest one. 

“Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do!” 

And all hell breaks loose as they all start on chirping Travis about how he can do anything then. With a fond smile, Nolan heads for his car, where he has a pre- packed bag as well as his passport and a carryon. 

He parks his car in the airport parking lot and he swears, there is something familiar about the truck beside his car. He shoves it to the back of his mind and starts crossing to the terminal. He’s late tho, and only half an hour to get on his flight, so as he anxiously stands in line for check in he pulls up his phone and sees a new text from Rory.

Hey, I’ll be gone for a couple of hours, text when I can:)

It was sent five minutes ago, and he groans a little at the fact that he has to wait faster, very bored. Finally he has checked in his bag and been cleared to enter the airport all the way to his flight. 

In a half jog, half sprint he manages to make it just shy of ten minutes before the gate closes. He pulls his cap further down on his head and puts his ticket and passport on the desk. The hostess scowls at him but lets him enter the already boarded plane. 

The smell of too many people and bad flight food smacks him in the face as he enters the plane with another nod to a different flight hostess. 

34B seems too far away, but he bites his tongue and keeps walking. He looks at the bald man in 34C and the hooded figure in 34A. He swears, there is something familiar about this too but his mind is a little fuzzy and he can’t quite place it. 

“Scuse me.” 

He mumbles to the man and he politely moves so Nolan can find his seat. The girl in the seat next to the window turns and looks at him, and finally it seems that he has steady ground under his feet. 

“Well, seems like I won’t text you in a couple of hours then.” 

Rory smiles at him. And he smiles back. 

“Nope you’re stuck with me for the next five and a half hours.” 

He teases and plops down in his seat. 

“What the fuck are you going to Winnipeg for though?” 

Nolan asks as he fastens his seatbelt and ignores the security instructions completely. 

“Oh I haven’t told you? My family lives there.” 

He feels flabbergasted, how in the living hell has he forgotten to ask? He always assumed she was from Philly.

“Why are you going there anyway?” 

Rory asks, but he sees the twinkle in her eyes, she’s just joking with him.

“I’m visiting my girlfriend.” 

He decides to reply dead serious. And the twinkle in her eyes disappears, a frown begins to form between her eyebrows and he instantly feels a little bad. 

“I’m- sorry, that was a really bad joke.” 

This time it seems, it’s her turn to get embarrassed. Neither of them get time to think it over though, because the plane starts accelerating and her hand immediately lands on his. He sees her jaw tense and feels her hand tighten around his knuckles. Nolan doesn’t want to comment on it though, and just lets her hold on. 

As they lift off the tarmac her hand slowly starts easing up and when they level out in the air, she seems to have realised that she’s holding his hand. Quickly she lets go, and Nolan already misses it. 

“Sorry about that, I get a little nervous about the take off.” 

She seems a little nervous to admit it, but he asks anyway. 

“How come?” 

“Oh, ever heard of the irresistible force paradox?” 

He shakes his head no, and that launches her into an explanation of what happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object. It’s obvious she loves theories like this, with the way she talks and moves her hands. 

“- which stems from both a chinese and a roman legend. The roman is about Zeus and how he fixed the Teumessian fox, who can never be caught, and the hound Laelaps who never misses what he hunts to the sky in constellations.” 

She stops, and Nolan really wishes she wouldn’t. Her voice is so calming yet enchanting at the same time, he could listen and learn every day for forever. 

“But wouldn’t that mean that the fox wins? because it never gets caught?” 

He questiones. 

“Exactly! I’ve been thinking about it for days now.” 

And the plane ride goes on like that, until Rory has heard of most of the flyers and Nolan knows the name of almost all her professors. It’s closer to night time when she starts to slur her words, because of tiredness. She ends up with her head on his shoulder and his hair a little bit in her face. But the weight of his head leaning against hers is priceless.  

Nolan wakes up a little bit before her and sees that they’re landing soon. So he shakes Rory awake with a promise of a date in the morning. Since they don’t live too far away from each other. And she agrees. 

They step off the plane together, collect their luggage together, Nolan’s arm slung around Rory’s shoulder, and hug each other so long, before departing to their own separate families. 

“Hey, see you tomorrow shy guy!” 

She winks at him, rendering him speechless in front of his family. His sister glances at him with a questioning look as she watches the other girl walk away. Usually few people render Nolan at a loss for words. 

[grittyreadsfic]

hello my friends, one singular person asked for this weeks ago so i’m here with my most unhinged rec list yet: tk and nolan.

now, this one was hard to reign in, so i really didn’t. this pairing had maybe 230 fics in the tag when i first started reading hockey fic, and it’s now over 900, and i’ve read far too many of them, and that makes it so hard to parse it down. so i just...didn't!

so with that said, please enjoy so you want to get into tknp: a beginners guide to a classic case of idiots to lovers

i told myself that i couldn’t rec an author’s entire body of work but then i remembered this is my blog and i do what i want, so i did some consolidating. here’s a list of the quintessential authors for this pairing, you can start at any of their profiles and pick any of their fics at random, and it’ll be one of the best ones for the pairing, hands down.

therainbowsedge: i’d start with the summer camp fic, or the sex toys one, as both beautifully capture the true idiots to lovers nature of this pairing, but just top tier writing all around

manybumblebees: the wedding fic is so tender and port stanley is a classic, but literally pick any single fic and you’ll have a perfect tknp fic. i’m not kidding

jamesvanriemsdick: their tknp fics in their series are some of the hidden gems of this pairing (the tk heartbeat fic makes me LOSE it) but the delaware fic or the seattle fic…..there’s really something for every mood

catchascatchcan: start with era of gods because i could write literal essays on how it’s some of the best fantasy worldbuilding i’ve ever read, but then just read everything else on their account, including non tknp fics. you won’t regret it

hackysack: ao3 user hackysack has written one of two timeloop fics that i absolutely adore, and i thought about just calling that one out in particular, but all of their work deserves the attention

canary: nothing to prove was the first tknp fic i ever read and i was immediately hooked. all of their fics are a good starting place for the pairing, and just really give you a feeling for the pairing

and now, for the fic recs!

to be, despite it all by smudgedfreckles

summary: or, nolan patrick’s gender thesis, by travis konecny.

why i love it: there’s not a lot ofo nonbinary characters in media, even in fic, but this fic’s treatment of nolan and their path to figuring out their gender just feels so real and made me feel so seen. tk’s characterization is also just top notch, and it’s just a super sweet story about two people who love each other

last ones standing by makeit_takeit

summary: If you’re committed to finding your future spouse, reads the last line of the ad, and are ready to look at yourself and your love life in a whole new way, apply now.

At the bottom of the ad there’s a link, and Travis finds his finger hovering over the screen, lip still caught between his teeth.

“I mean,” he says very reasonably, speaking out loud to his empty apartment like some sort of possibly-crazy person, “just applying doesn’t mean anything. Maybe I just fill it out, and see what happens. It’s not like I’m really gonna get picked to be on TV, come on.”

He snorts out loud, just to show his apartment he hasn’t lost his grip on reality or anything; he fully understands how ludicrous that would be.

Then he clicks the link anyway, because yolo or whatever.

why i love it: what part of a married at first sight fic doesn’t make you want to immediately dive right in? the concept is fun, the execution is absolutely flawless, and it captures their dynamic so well while letting it develop naturally

motivation by connectknee

summary: Kevin knows when to back off, the article said. He knows just when to shut up and leave Patty alone, something Travis has never known how to do.

why i love it: the thing i love about this pairing is that tk is loud and in your face, and nolan’s more reserved, a little quieter, a little harder to read. this fic does a really great job of exploring how tk could feel like maybe he’s just a bit too much and is one of my favorites in terms of miscommunication

a tenderness grows by rusesdeguerre

summary: Nolan wouldn’t say that landing a job as the Philadelphia Flyers’ psychotic and probably clinically insane mascot was a childhood dream of his. Maybe tangentially: playing pond hockey in –30°C weather and pretending to be Sidney Crosby is practically a rite of passage when you grow up in Manitoba. That, and experiencing the distinct displeasure that is thousands of mosquitoes sucking your blood out when your father drags you on a father-son camping trip into the backwoods of the northern Canadian Prairies.

why i love it: this was the first fic i recced on this blog, and i stand by that decision. a fic where nolan is not only not a hockey player, but is in fact the person in the gritty suit? absolutely perfect, and so charming from start to finish

meet me at my window by springsteen

summary: Travis has lived in Philadelphia for a few years now, long enough to know there isn’t a major city in America where superheroes don’t destroy an entire city block trying to save humanity or whatever. He can deal with all the super-shit, but Travis did not sign up for getting woken up from a deep sleep because some fucker’s trying to break in through his window.

(5 times the super-villain known as "The Cat" breaks into Travis's apartment, plus 1 time Travis invites him in.)

why i love it: there’s a lot of things to love here, but the concept is just absolutely one of my all time favorite aus ever. it’s fun and charming and the perfect glimpse into a world where heroes and villains exist, and what it’s like just to be a run of the mill kind of guy existing in it. tk and nolan’s back and forth in this make it so engaging, and it’s such a top tier fic

body’s in trouble by cloudsandpassingevents

summary: “Oh, sorry,” someone says. “Didn’t know anyone else was here.”

Nolan freezes, then turns around very slowly. When he looks up, Nicklas fucking Backstrom is standing behind him in a hoodie and baggy sweats, holding the biggest bag of Swedish Fish Nolan’s ever seen in his life in one hand.

“Uh,” Nolan says around the pop tart between his teeth. “Yeah.”

What the fuck, his brain helpfully supplies.

why i love it: from nolan’s inner voice, to the way the author explores all the dynamics within the team, to the way they write the unexpected but actually, it kind of makes sense friendship between nolan and backstrom, is just absolutely fantastic. there’s a lot of moments that circle back and build on each other in a way that really just makes it super compelling

rhizomatic foundations by lighthousetowers

summary: Twenty days after he moves in with Kevin Hayes, twenty days – three months, five months, depending on how you look at it – after not talking to TK, TK shows up at the front door with a plant the size of a basketball in his hands.

TK grins. "Patty, meet Reginald." He lifts up the plant. "Reggie, meet Patty. He's going to be your new - caretaker."

"What the fuck," says Nolan, not moving a single muscle.

Or: That Nolan can hear the plant talk might as well just happen.

why i love it: this is probably my favorite magical realism fic just about ever. it’s fun and charming and a little weird, but in the best possible way. there’s such a wonderful narrative in it, and lighthousetowers always has such beautiful writing, and it really shines in this one. the dialogue and nolan’s characterization are also part of what set it apart for me as one of the best tknp fics

in the dark of any town by mengetpegged

summary: If the voice has an accent at all, it’s a flat prairie Canadian, with none of G’s French-Canadian softness at the edges. But mostly, the accent is just ‘pissed off,’ which TK believes is a default setting for ghosts.

“Who are you?” TK asks, and he doesn’t like how strained his voice sounds, doesn’t like the tinge of anxiety tinting the rise of his question. He tries to regulate his breaths—in through his nose, hold, out through his mouth—but it feels like he’s not getting enough oxygen, which makes him panic even more.

“Someone with a fucking migraine, dickhead,” the voice says. “So keep the lights off and shut the hell up.”

(or: Nolan Patrick, Hotel X Ghost)

why i love it: i’m usually not super into ghost fics, both the spooky kind and the nonspooky kind, but this one is a rare exception. it’s charming and fun and tender and it’s got some of, in my opinion, the best characterization of tk and nolan in any fic. the way the author writes their dynamic and their dialogue is just unmatched

lets_make_this_moment_a_crime.mp3 by honeydripping

summary: Travis meets Nolan at a Midtown show in 2002 when he punches Nolan in the face. He can’t help it, “Like A Movie” just goes off.

But he does feel guilty about it.

or

TK and Patty work at a bakery together. They go to punk shows to pass the time.

why i love it: idk if anyone asked for an early 2000s emo/punk/alt au but wow! i sure am glad it exists! really the vibes of this fic, as silly as that sounds, are absolutely unmatched. i love the structure with the music, the development of their relationship, and just everything about how the author wrote the setting (there’s this whole thing with tattoos in it that makes me feel absolutely insane)

you’re ripped at every edge by you’re a masterpiece by conformityissuicide

summary: “Ugh, look, this yoga teacher has it out for me, man. And I can’t go back there without at least having some of the basics down. I’ve got to win this battle.”

“Yoga isn’t really something you win at,” Hartsy starts.

Travis cuts him off, “You can win at anything if you try hard enough.”

+++

OR that time Nolan's a grumpy yoga teacher and Travis realizes he wants to bone him and prove him wrong about Travis' non-existent yoga abilities.

why i love it: listen, if you want tknp, at least one of them has to be an idiot, and this tk absolutely captures the obliviousness i love to see in him in fic. it’s such a great characterization of them both and such a great concept (and even better execution)

you form a terror pack (and i’m aware of that) by dalmatienne

summary: “Can I help you?” TK snarks, both eyebrows hiked up in a way that has earned her many elbow checks to the ribs.

The chick looks down her nose, long thick eyelashes fluttering. Red-bitten lips part to blow a florid pink bubble and TK can smell the chemical sweetness when it pops.

“Yeah,” she says in this monotonous voice that seems almost at odds with her bubble gum and neon skates. She jams her stopper into TK’s thigh again, literally inches away from where it’d really hurt. “Tie ‘em.”

why i love it: to be honest, i generally don’t read rule 63 within hrpf, but this one is just absolutely knocks it out of the park. the concept (i fuckin’ love roller derby), the characterization of nolan, the pacing, the rituals, the tone of the entire fic, it’s just all around a perfect read from start to finish

thrills and grills by bitter_leaf

summary: Travis can’t even begin to wonder what he did in a previous life to incur the wrath of this fucking cook. Travis thinks he’s a nice person, doesn’t conduct himself in any way that could be considered particularly dickish, and unless this guy has some sort of issue with hockey bros or people from the boonies, he’s not sure how he started shit without even knowing.

__

Patty has a vendetta. Travis just wants to eat his eggs in peace.

why i love it: honestly this is the enemies to lovers fic i’ve been waiting for. i remember seeing the reddit post when it first went viral and thinking it would make such a great fic premise, so stumbling across this one was just so wonderful. super engaging and fun and so hilarious to read!

nothing but room for you by fightingfuries

summary: When his agent tells him he’s going to be traded to the Devils, Nolan isn't sure how he feels about it. Might be easier if he was going somewhere farther away, like California or fucking Florida. Somewhere sun-soaked and foreign. Someplace so different from Philadelphia that he can forget he ever played for the Flyers, forget everything that happened there.

Or Nolan fucks up, gets traded, gets his shit together and falls in love. Not necessarily in that order.

why i love it: i cannot stress to you how much i love trade fics, and this one is one of my absolute favorites. the trade to the devils-so close to philly, still, but there’s more to distance than physical miles-was such an excellent choice and the split timeline adds so much to the narrative, and the emotions are real and messy and complicated in the best way

a couple of runaways (i’m glad you stayed) by overturnedgoal

summary: The person in the video he’s watching is super annoying. Some obnoxious holier than thou granola type who keeps talking about their environmental impact as if they aren’t driving a gas guzzler around, but the basic idea of living in a van, driving around wherever, camping all the time, just going hiking and swimming and seeing the whole country? It sounds pretty dope, honestly.

why i love it: i like to watch tours and conversions of vans/buses into tiny homes as a self soothing method, and this fic has the same impact that watching those do. it’s such a fun concept, and it’s so fuckin’ soft, and the dialouge between tk and nolan is just *chef’s kiss*

all candor and style in the crook of your smile by p3trichor

summary: It’s a photo of Nolan on his knees with someones’ fingers in his mouth, lips slick with spit. Travis flicks by it almost too fast and he’s only got seconds to decide if he wants to screenshot it, if he wants to just give up the ghost right then and there. Except Travis’s phone freezes momentarily and then the group refreshes, sidcros87, Bert59 and 14 others took a screenshot!

It’s gone before Travis even has time to process it and he already wasted his replay of the day on a stupid video of a stupid fish that Hayes caught.

Can you send me that screenshot Travis texts Bertuzzi before he can overthink it, his dick already stirring in his sweats. Tuzzi sends back the cry-laughing emoji and then the screenshot before Travis can be too annoyed at him.

Or, Nolan is being weird about Travis's break-up and TK is maybe not straight.

why i love it: i genuinely don’t think i have words for the amount i love this fic. it took me forever to actually read, but it’s absolutely one of my favorite fics, and it’s an absolutely riot to read. carter’s meddling and the presence of tyler bertuzzi both make it extra fun, in my humble opinion

[davidpastrsnack]

often - nolan patrick

a/n: surprise! here is some short, poorly written smut that i’ve had in my drive for a bit. i’m about to go out but i thought i’d leave this with you all for the night. also this wasn’t originally written for nolan so if the mannerisms seem off that’s why just ignore lol i don’t love it but it’s something to hold you over while i work on bigger and better things 

tagging @silkybiscuit​ :))

word count: 2k

You weren’t usually this bold, but something had gotten into you tonight. 

You were sitting on the edge of your boyfriend’s bed, telling Nolan you were changing into something more comfortable when you returned from dinner. But in fact, you had pulled one of his jerseys out of his closet, the heavy material now resting over your shoulders as you admired the 19 laying across your back. You were wearing nothing else besides the black lace that sat on top of your hip bones, the jersey hitting just above your knees. Nolan was leaving for the longest road trip of the season, two-and-a-half weeks, which was the longest you two had spent apart since the start of your relatively new relationship. You took one last look in the mirror before reaching for the door and heading back out into the living room. 

Nolan was sprawled out along the couch, the black t-shirt he had on clinging to his shoulders and biceps. He was busy scrolling through his phone as a random game played in the background. He didn’t even notice that you had come back, his mind completely distracted by whatever Travis had sent in the team group chat. 

A wave of shyness flooded you, suddenly feeling far too exposed in front of him. Maybe this was too much, he’s tired, he needs to finish packing, you thought to yourself. You gently turned on your heels and started to tiptoe back towards the room when you finally heard his voice. 

“Y/N?” he asked from his post on the couch. Your eyes shut at his words, your body slowly turning to face him. Nolan had a soft smile on his face like he did whenever you wore his name, but this time there was a dark glint in his light blue eyes. 

“I’m just gonna go change,” you whispered, hoping to get out of this situation as soon as possible. 

“No, no, no,” he reassured, “Come here, baby.”

“Nols,” you groaned. You didn’t know why you were so embarrassed, this was your idea after all, but something about the way he was looking at you made you want to hide. 

“Come here,” he repeated, opening his arms up as you finally gave in, tiptoeing towards him. 

He patted the top of his thighs signaling you to sit, which you obliged to, swinging your legs over his own until you were straddling him. His hands slide over your legs, a breathy fuck escaping his lips when he discovered you didn’t have pants on. 

“What’s all this for, baby, hmm?” he asked, leaning into your touch as you ran your hands through his brown locks. 

“I just miss you so much when you’re not here…” you mumbled. 

“Do you miss me or do you miss me fucking you?” he teased, a giggle slipping out from his pink lips as you rolled your eyes at him. 

“Both,” you answered, smiling down at him. 

He grinned back up at you, one of his hands sliding up your body before grabbing your neck, urging you down to meet his lips. You sighed into the kiss, the heat already rising between your bodies as you pushed your hips even further into his. You whined against his mouth as you felt him hardening beneath you, any shyness you once had just minutes ago now completely clouded by lust. He gently bit your bottom lip, his gaze focusing on the way it snapped back as he pulled away. 

“You know, there are things we could do while I’m not here,” he calmly spoke. “I want my girl to be taken care of whenever she wants.”

Your face heated up even more than it already had as you heard his words and you realized what he was implying. The thing was, you had never done... that. You had tried a few times, but it never felt right and your mind was always overcome by the shame society placed on women for exploring their own bodies. 

“I- I’ve never,” you stuttered, looking down as you tried to find the words, “I’ve never been good at that.”

Nolan’s brows furrowed in confusion before his demeanor changed to one that can only be described as cocky right before your eyes. 

“We could change that, baby,” he whispered, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on your upper thigh. 

Your cheeks flushed pink as he stared up at you. Even though you had no idea what you were doing, you felt completely safe with Nolan and trusted him to guide you. 

“Teach me?” you breathed out, your hands toying with the hair flowing on the back of his neck. 

Nolan’s heart stopped at your words. He almost forgot how to speak, time froze as he tried to muster up a response. 

“Fuck, yes,” he exclaimed, not wasting any more time before he picked you up and started moving towards the bedroom. 

Your legs wrapped around his waist and you tucked your head into the crook of his neck, peppering slow kisses across his soft skin. You felt his breathing get labored beneath you as you nibbled below his ear, his chest rising and falling against your own. He kicked open the bedroom door, placing you down on the rug-covered floor before he knelt down and joined you. 

“Right here, honey,” Nolan cooed, sliding his body until he was leaning against the bed, your body fitting perfectly in between his legs as you looked at yourself in the floor-length mirror right in front of you. 

Now it was his turn to attach his lips to your neck, a small whine escaping your lips as you felt the purple marks blossom across your fragile skin. 

“Nolan,” you whimpered, begging him to do something, anything. You squirmed in his grasp as he smirked against you when your hips rutted up into the air in search of whatever friction they could find. 

“As much as I love this I’m gonna take it off, okay?” he asked in his deep voice, his fingertips toying with the hem of the jersey. You anxiously nodded, wanting to get the thick fabric off your body that was heating up with each touch. 

“Fuck,” Nolan groaned in your ear when he saw you in just your lace panties. This position made the size difference between you extremely apparent, his limbs engulfing you as you sat tucked inside his large frame. Your hair was a mess from rubbing against his chest, your cheeks were flushed pink, and your lips were swollen. 

“Take these off, sweetheart,” he purred, making eye contact with you through the mirror. 

You shakily nodded, pushing off his thighs so you could slide the lace down your legs, leaving you spread out in front of him. 

“So pretty,” he hummed, “Go ahead, baby.”

The hesitation was clear in your eyes, but Nolan gave you a reassuring nod while holding eye contact. You slowly moved your hand from its post on his leg, sliding down your body until you reached your core. One of his hands encircled your waist, the other cupping your right breast as you finally touched yourself. Your head fell back when you felt how wet you were, your arousal dripping off your fingers as you dragged them through your folds. 

“Just like that,” Nolan encouraged from behind you, his fingers toying with your nipple adding to the sensations you were feeling. 

“Find your clit for me,” he ordered, smirking when you obliged and let out a loud moan. 

Your fingers gently circled your clit, the pleasure already building in the pit of your stomach. You heard Nolan humming behind you, clearly enjoying the show as he moved one of his hands to palm himself through his sweatpants. 

“You wanna try some fingers?” he asked. 

You nodded, your mind too clouded to speak, and you slid your hand down to insert a finger. It felt good, but it didn’t even compare to the thick, rough fingers that you were used to. But you kept trying, adding a second. 

“In and out, baby,” he encouraged. 

You did as he said, but you were too spoiled by Nolan, and your own, much smaller, fingers just weren't cutting it. 

“I’m too used to yours,” you breathed out, a soft smile spreading across your lips as he chuckled into your hair. 

“Okay, honey,” he cooed, taking hold of your wrist to move your fingers back to your clit. 

“Like this,” he whispered, guiding your hand in tight circles, “Or like this,” changing his pace to rub side to side. 

Your head fell back against him again, a loud moan escaping your lips until he suddenly stopped. You snapped back to look at him through the mirror, a pout across your face as he smiled back at you. 

“I’m just here to teach you,” he teased, resting back on his elbows as you rolled your eyes. 

You reconnected with your now swollen clit, following his lead and pressing small, steady circles on the nub. It had never felt so good when you had tried before, but before long you had lost control of your breathing and you could feel yourself approaching the edge. 

“Fuck, Nols, I-” you moaned unable to get the words out. 

“Faster, baby. You’re doing so good,” he encouraged, his voice as he continued to stroke himself through his pants while he watched you fall apart. 

You did as he said, moving your two fingertips side to side and faster against your clit, your moans the only sound in the room as you crashed into your high. Your body gave out against Nolan’s, your cries filling the air as he watched you in awe. He had seen you cum countless times but watching you touch yourself like this was one of the hottest things he had ever witnessed. 

You finally slowed your movements and lifted your head from the crook of his neck, bure bliss written on your face. 

“Such a good girl,” Nolan murmured, turning you in his arms so he could kiss you, a whimper leaving your lips when you felt how hard he was in his sweatpants. 

“I wanna taste,” he smirked, lifting you up like you were a feather and repositioning himself between your legs. You were just about to protest, wanting him inside of you as soon as possible when he attached his lips to your still-throbbing core. 

“Fuck, Nolan,” you groaned, your head rolling back around your neck as he devoured you. His tongue was alternating between flicking your clit back and forth and sucking it between his lips. Your mouth hung open in a silent moan when you felt your legs begin to shake uncontrollably. 

“Yes, yes, yes,” you cried out, your screams seeping through the walls into your neighbor’s rooms but you didn’t care at all. 

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better, he slipped two fingers inside, your walls clenching around them as he repeatedly caressed your sweet spot. You fell over the edge nearly immediately, your hips grinding against his face as he coaxed you through your high. 

Nolan’s hands held you steady, slowly easing you down until you were flat against your back again. He rested on his side and hovered over you, his thumb rubbing gentle circles on your hip bone. 

“Just had to remind you what the real thing is like again,” he smirked, leaning down to leave a trail of wet kisses across your hot neck. 

“Consider me reminded,” you chuckled, your breathing still labored as you tangled your hand in his hair. 

“My turn?” you whispered, looking up at him with wide eyes.

“Say less, pretty girl,” Nolan smiled, grabbing your waist and pulling you on top of him again, this time letting you take the reins for the night. 

[sorryjustafangirl]

mascot mysteries

a/n: me posting something that isn’t at like midnight? wow. anyway i thought this was a super cute idea so i hope you all enjoy it :)  this is also a gender neutral reader! and this is a covid-free AU

Pairing: Nolan Patrick x reader

Word Count: 1.8k

warnings: a few couple words, a little bit of anxious movements, Gritty (if that needs to be a warning)

disclaimer: this is a work of fiction and real person fiction if you don’t like that, please don’t read! also the gif isn’t mine! all credit to the incredible gif-maker!

tagging: @barzypatty​

You walked into the Wells Fargo Center, admiring the arena. This was your dream job ever since college. Honestly you couldn’t believe you got it. You pull out your phone with the emailed instructions of where to go. You look for the “hallway next to the washroom” only to discover there are three different hallways that have signs directing to the washrooms. 

Well fuck. 

“Are you good there?” You look to your left to see two guys, likely players based on their attire. One was taller, with longer hair and a small smile. The other one was shorter but looked more rambunctious. It looked like there were in a little bit of a rush, but you were really lost. 

“I’m actually kind of lost. I’m looking for conference room B8? But the instructions I have are really vague, so I have, like, no idea where I’m going,” you admitted, folding into yourself a little bit.

“That’s on our way! Come with us, we’ll show you where it is,” the shorter one said, motioning you over to where the two of them had stopped. “So, you’ve never been here?”

“It’s actually my first day on the job, so, um no. I haven’t been here before either, I, uh, grew up in Canada,” You cursed yourself. This was your first impression with the organization and you couldn’t even make a conversation without the stammering.

“Cool! Me and Patty are from Canada too! Shit, sorry, I’m TK and that’s Patty,” He said, motioning to the taller guy beside him. “And don’t worry about getting lost, Pats here got lost on his first day too,”

“Good to know I’m not the only one whose bad with directions,” you directed your comment to Patty, making brief eye contact with him. A rosy blush brushed his cheeks and you caught a mumbled “yeah”

“What do you do….?” Patty prompted, his voice quiet, but somehow you still heard it. He couldn’t deny you were pretty. 

“Oh, sorry, I’m Y/N. And I’m in media? I don’t know my exact title, but working for one of the best marketed media teams was too good for me to, uh, turn down so…” You said, slightly talking in front of TK so you could answer Patty’s question.

“Oh cool! Maybe you’ll get to meet Gritty, he’s the fun residence troublemaker,” Travis popped in.

“I thought that was your job Teeks,” which earned a jab from TK into Patty, who just snickered. 

“Travis, bud!” The three of you stopped to see someone else motioning for TK, who jogged over to the other man. 

“C’mon, the conference room isn’t too much further, I’ll walk you there,” Patty said, already making some steps forward. After a small comfortable silence, he stopped in front of two double doors. “So, uh, this is it. Good luck on your first day,” 

“Oh! Thanks. And, um, thanks for showing me where it was,” You tugged down on your jacket. “I guess I’ll just….” you motioned behind you to the doors.

“Oh right, yeah, I’ll, uh, let you go,” You gave a small wave and turned towards the conference doors and he turned back to go where he came from, only to turn around after a few steps. “Hey Y/N?”

“Yeah?” You took a few steps back towards him.

“You’re in media, yeah? So you might be at games or maybe even practices?” He scratched the back of his neck, slightly mumbling towards the end.

“Uh, yeah maybe. I’m not too sure where they’ll put me just yet but I like being in the action. I know that might seem weird ‘cause I’m sorta shy and quiet but..” You wrung your hands together. 

“No, no, I get it. It’s like being a different person, when you’re behind the camera or something. You get to be someone else and it’s nice. I get like that on the ice sometimes. I can make the big hits and stuff and no one treats it like it’s different from being quiet outside the game,”

“Yeah, like a different person. That’s exactly it,” You met his eyes again. Holy shit, why is he so gorgeous?

“Y/N Y/L/N?” A head popped out from behind the conference room doors. “We’re ready for you,” 

“Great, thank you,” You turned back to Patty. “That’s, uh, that’s me, but I’ll hopefully see you around, Patty?” 

“I’d like that a lot. And uh, you can call me Nolan,” The blush came back to his cheeks but you could barely notice over the heat in your own cheeks. 

“Bye Nolan.” You gave him one last smile before entering the conference room and closing the door, slowing entering the room. Once you came into sight, the people around the table jumped up. 

“Ah! There they are! Our new Gritty!”

***

After that first encounter, you seemed to bump into Nolan more. Before work, sometimes after work. You would make casual conversation, both mumbling, but you just got each other. And it didn’t take too long for him to muster up the courage to ask you on a date. While you were slightly hesitant, he was quick to assure you that “I may have asked G to ask management if it’d be okay with our jobs and, uh, everything’s fine, so…?” which earned him a kiss on the cheek and a yes. 

The problem was your job. You loved being a mascot. Seriously, you did. You were hooked after that first varsity game you went to in college. The energy of the crowd, interacting with the players and fans, the anonymity. The anonymity was the issue. Behind the costume, no one knew it was shy ol’ you. You could do anything and no one would tell you that you were being too rowdy or obnoxious. No one expected anything out of you except fun. It was perfect. And being Philadelphia’s beloved mascot/political figure was the dream. Telling Nolan risked the anonymity of the job. But to not tell Nolan was becoming an issue. He understood you had to work during game days, but it was becoming increasingly difficult not to see you with the other better halves in the stands, especially since you worked here. There was no reason for you not to be there. Every other teammate of his got to see someone they loved in their jersey but he didn’t. 

When he brings this up, all timid, you are so quick to make a compromise. Before every home game, you’d meet in the tunnel for a good luck handshake. It might seem ridiculous but he got to physically see you before each game and it was a fun, quirky ritual. 

“It’s like a different person right? You get in your zone and I’ll get in mine,” You told him. He responded with a kiss. 

But you were running out of excuses why you were late either before your handshake or after his game, where you would also meet him in the tunnel. You had used the “I caught up with work” at least four times, “I saw a coworker who wanted to talk” a few times, and even resorted to “I got lost” once. You could see it was throwing him off a little. He was still playing perfectly fine, but it didn’t have that same “umph” he sometimes brought to the ice. 

It was the home game against the Penguins when he finally snapped. That’s how you knew it was bad. Gritty was asked to do the fun pre-show, and you hadn’t had time to change to see Nolan before the game. He threw more hits, had more aggression, and more than the normal Pennsylvania rivalry. You couldn’t help but think that part of it was because you didn’t show up before the game. He’d even gotten in a fight with Tanev early in the second period. 

So, during the intermission between the second and third, you asked your team to lead you down to the tunnel and grab Nolan out of the dressing room. The Flyers were up 3-0 so you didn’t think it’s be a huge issue with Coach. 

He quietly exited the room, confused on why he got pulled out. A member of your team just gestured to you in your costume, which did little to clear up his confusion. You held your hand up in a fist for a fist bump, the first move in your handshake. When he still gave that bewildered look, you softly grabbed his gloved hand and pushed it against yours. When you lifted your hand up for a high five, he still needed some prompting. But when the down low high five came, you started to see the gears in his head turning. He gave a small chuckle and slowly worked through your handshake, ending with a pinky promise and a kiss to your respective thumbs. When you’ve finished, he just gives you that small side smile and shakes his head, with a chuckle. 

You can hear the boys getting hyped up in the dressing room, and then the buzzer goes, so you break away from Nolan, but stay in the tunnel. As the boys single-file pass you, you give them each a boop on the head, with some extra love given to Nolan. 

That third period, Nolan seems to have his “umph” back. An assist and a goal, and he celebrated both by glancing up to you, celebrating as per usual with the fans, especially after his goal. 

After the game, you go and have your own shower, all sweaty after the 5-0 Pennsylvania battle. You took your time, knowing you’d have to have a semi-serious conversation with Nolan. But when you join him in the tunnel, he’s all smiles. He wraps you in a hug, spinning you around, before setting you on the ground and nuzzling into your neck. You run your fingers through his own freshly washed hair. The two of you stand there for a bit before he mumbles into your neck, barely audible. 

“Like another person, eh?” You smiled and tucked your head into his chest. 

“Oh shut up, I don’t even know if you’re allowed to know.” A hearty laugh escaped him.

“Secret’s safe with me, babe,” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and kissed the top of your head as you started to make your way out of the arena. “Fuckin’ Gritty, I can’t believe it. I thought you were ignoring me,”

“I’m sorry, Nols. It’s just a lot to take in. Didn’t want to scare you off,”

“Well, I’m sticking around if that’s alright with you.” You looked up at him, and his cheeks started to redden, and not just from the game.

“Yeah. That’s alright with me,” You leaned into the crook of his shoulder, glad you didn’t have to hide any part of yourself from Nolan anymore. 

Bonus: “Did you ever actually punch a kid?”

“Oh my gosh, I’m not answering that,”

“It’s a valid question babe! I’m not going to stop you, I just wanna know,”

feel free to let me know what you think! thanks for reading

[princesstillyenna]

in your gc verse I always think that the gc boys get together whenever they play each other (because duh, season-long gc boys reunions!!!) and today there's oilers vs pens & avs vs leafs & ducks vs vegas soooo what I'm saying is that the magnetic force in north america could be disturbed tonight bc of the amount of gc boys meetings that're gonna happen after the games

Honestly YES YES YES Nonnie this is EXACTLY what happens in the GC verse, they will frequently meet up with people after games. Sid makes a POINT of meeting all of the GC rookies (even though he is currently not in the GC) as does Tyson B (he will sometimes drag Drai and Davo along) So, Oilers Vs Pens, Tyson would insist on hosting Big Jeff C and Sid, and then force Drai and Davo to come round too. Davo doesn't come but Drai does... weird... I wonder where Davo was. Tyson wonder's where Davo was too. He is peak suspish. He thinks he knows (he is not wrong) Avs vs Leafs is just a fucking lovefest ngl. So, first of all Kerfy is like YAS I GET MY BOYS BACK and there is a Kerfy/JT/Josty cuddle pile and they all fucking ignore everyone else. Nate (at Sid's request) goes to check up on Auston and see how he's doing with the LDR thing. They end up going to dinner with JT, Mitch, EJ, Sam and Gabe. Weirdly Willy Nylander tries to tag along. Hmmmmmm hmmmmmmm Leafs vs Ducks.... well... WELL... I started to describe this, and then realised I should just write it. It's under the cut.

"Hey," Brett knocks into Nolan's shoulder as they stand side by side, drinking their coffees at the breakfast bar. "Heading out to Anahiem today."

Nolan grunts in reply.

"Think we should, like, meet up with Zegras or something?"

Nolan frowns, "Why?"

"Uh?" Brett turns to fully take in Nolan's grumpy morning self, it's something that never fails to delight him, how fucking irritable Nolan is in the mornings. "Queer solidarity?"

"He's American." Nolan mutters.

That startles a burst of laughter from Brett, "Nolly," he slides an arm around Nolan's waist, squeezing him, "He is, but wouldn't you have liked to know other queer guys in the league when you started out?"

Nolan shrugs, but he lets his head fall against Brett's, so Brett takes that as tacit approval.

-- "Where are you going?" Jamie asks.

"Out?" Trevor stares blankly, he hadn't prepared an alibi, he's not even sure if he should or not.

"Where?" Jamie asks again, like he deserves to know. To be fair, it's weird for Trevor to go out without him.

"Uh, just meeting some of the knights for dinner. They're in town already?"

"Who the fuck do you know on the Knights?" Jamie presses.

Trever wishes, not for the first time, that he were better at lying. "Patty, and Howdy."

"Nolan Patrick, and Brett Howden?" Jamie stares at him, eyes wide, "But they're Canadian."

"And?" Trevor smirks, "We are actually allowed to talk to people from across the border y'know, I mean, I talk to you don't I?"

"I was more asking how you knew them?" Jamie rolls his eyes.

"Uh, just, y'know." Trevor flails for a minute. "Friends of friends."

"Well," Jamie stands up from the couch, "Give me a second, I'll change."

"You're not coming." Trevor hisses.

"I'm coming." Jamie smirks, "Nolan Fucking Patrick Zeegs, I'm coming. Can't believe you've got his digits and you didn't share."

"He's going to kill me." Trevor informs him as Jamie walks away.

--

If Jamie were a betting man, he'd have put money on Nolan Patrick being in a relationship with Konecny from the flyers. He definitely wouldn't ever picture Nolan Patrick in a relationship with Brett Howden. In addition to this, Jamie knows, with 100% certainty, that despite several, very irritating dreams that would disagree with him, he is not dating Trevor Zegras.

None of these facts explain why the fuck the entire evening felt like the worlds most awkward double date.

[troubatrain]

runaway - n. patrick

a/n: happy sunday here’s som midday filth i wrote today? i think i might make this a little series (where all the fics sort of connect) but i have decided yet so tell me if you want more! big shoutout to @hookingminor​ for letting me dump ideas in her DMs. Also tagging @texanstarslove​ for encouraging me to expand on this blurb i wrote yesterday! hope you guys like it :)

warning : smut - it’s literally just smut

part two

You were running away if you could even count making a grand escape from Boston to Philadelphia to your brother’s place. You had submitted your final paper in your dorm at Boston College, packing your bags and loading your car in what should have been the direction home. Instead, while you were packing your ex had posted a picture with his new girlfriend, and you felt like an idiot. You couldn’t believe it, gossiping to your friends that you’d slept with him a week ago and you were so sure you were getting back together. Now, you were just heartbroken and when you needed an escape - there was always Kevin.

So you drove in the direction of Philly, calling your big brother on the way down to tell him you were on your way. Kevin was in California, but told you to come regardless, worried about his little sister. You drove in silence, your mind racing for hours, finally pulling in front of Kevin’s building a little after nine. Philly was cold, but nothing compared to the cold December temperatures you were used to. You let yourself into his place, grateful for the key you kept the last time you came for a visit. The place was dark, and you stepped into the kitchen in search of any food.

“Hey Boston.”

You jump, letting out a small yelp and almost falling to the floor. You turn around to meet Nolan’s eyes, a smirk on his face while he stifles a laugh. You huff, crossing your arms and raising your eyebrows at him, “What the fuck are you doing here?”

“I live here, what the fuck are you doing here?” Nolan scoffs, looking at you like you’d completely lose your mind. Nolan wouldn’t have told another soul, but he was happy to see you. Kevin would murder him if he ever let it slip, but Nolan wanted to do absolutely filthy things to you. So Nolan settled on teasing you, because if you thought he didn’t like you then he wouldn’t have to cross that line.

“If you really must know, I didn’t want to go home and tell my parents all about my ex boyfriend’s new girlfriend,” You mutter, holding in your tears because Nolan didn’t need to see you cry. You were almost sure he hated you, and you didn’t know why. Nolan was pretty nice to everyone, especially when your family came into town. Kevin loved him, and constantly bragged about his roommate, but Nolan gave you shit all the time.

Nolan let out a deep breath, processing your words and the tears that were threatening to spill from your eyes and he wanted to fix it. He wanted to throw his arms around you, and hold you until it all felt okay but that was a slippery slope for Nolan, “Go put your stuff in the guest room, I’ll get us something to eat.”

You emerged a little while later, your hair wet from a warm shower and an oversized t-shirt hanging from your frame, covering the shorts you had on. You pad into the living room, sitting on the opposite side of the couch as Nolan, tucking your knees into your chest. You looked frail like someone had taken your already broken heart and snapped it again.

“Pizza should be here soon,” Nolan whispers, looking over at you with sad eyes. He looked warm, a hoodie covering his hair that was longer since the last time you saw him, “You-”

“Want to smoke?” You both let out the question at the same time, laughing when you realized what you did. That was the one thing you and Nolan seemed to bond about, smoking with Kevin was awful because his voice seemed to echo afterwards and it was too much for the both of you. Nolan got up, disappearing for a second and reappearing with a joint already rolled in his hand.

“All you Boston,” Nolan drops them in your hands, and you roll your eyes that his dumb nickname for you. You put the joint between your lips, sparking the end and letting the smoke slip through your lips.

“Shut up baby cat,” You tease, coughing from the smoke and smirking at Nolan. Nolan takes the joint from your hand, taking a hit and letting the smoke fall from his lips.

“You don’t get to call me that,” Nolan teases, a hazy smile on his face when he looks over at you, “Feeling any better?”

“I will be when-” You go to tell him that when the pizza was here everything would be fine, and as if you were magic the doorbell buzzed to let you know your delivery was here. You make a surprised face, looking at Nolan to see if he was nearly as excited as you were, but he was just laughing at your face.

You devoured the pizza, the both of curing your munchies and settling on whatever garbage reality show was on at the time. It was a comfortable silence inching over closer and closer to Nolan as time went on, before you knew it, you were practically curled into his side. You were busy on your phone, instagram stalking your ex’s new girlfriend to compare every part of you to her.

Nolan looked down at you, furrowing his eyebrows until he figured out what you were doing. Your head was against his shoulder while you looked at who he assumed was your ex’s new girl. He sighs, taking your phone out of your hand and tossing it on the other side of the couch.

“Nolan what the fuck was that for?” You ask, raising your voice and giving Nolan a look.

“Stop comparing yourself to that girl,” Nolan huffs, his voice deep from exhaustion while he stares at you. He thinks for a moment, carefully mulling over his next words because he had one chance not to fuck this up, “You’re fucking perfect.”

“Yeah okay,” You snort, rolling your eyes and sitting up next to Nolan, “Don’t even look at me and tell if you had a choice you wouldn’t choose her.”

Your voice was shaking, and you didn’t know what answer you were expecting, Nolan was only nice to you because you were Kevin’s sister. There wasn’t any other reason Nolan Patrick would give you the time of day. Nolan's eyes were staring into yours and he rubbed a hand over his jaw while he thought. His lips pressed against your jaw pressing feather light kisses against your skin while Nolan mumbled.

I’d choose you anyday.

You’re so beautiful baby.

Only you.

His lips were ghosting over yours, your eyes closed, just waiting for him to finally close the gap between the two of you, “Kiss me Nolan.”

Nolan’s lips on yours was pure ecstasy, like every part of your body was on fire. Nolan pulled onto his lap and you straddle his hips, grinding down on him while letting out a whimper when his hand smacked your ass lightly. Nolan’s lips were on your neck, leaving a mark you know you were going to have to cover later, “Y/N-”

Nolan’s voice was deep, and your name falling from his lips instead of that stupid nickname was enough to make you wet. Your hands found the ends of Nolan’s hair, tugging on him slightly causing him to groan underneath you. Nolan pulls away, looking up at you with swollen lips, and you’d never looked better. His hands were under your shirt, your skin soft under his calloused fingertips and legs wrapped around his waist while he grew hard underneath you. He slipped a hand into your shorts, ghosting over your core with his fingers.

“Please,” You plead, pressing a kiss against Nolan’s jaw. You needed a release, someone to make you feel special even if you never spoke of this again. Nolan was a hockey player and you’d been around enough to know how easy it would be for this to be a one and done thing, “I’ll be a good girl.”

That was all it took for Nolan to slip his finger under your panties and rub a circle over your clit. You roll your hips in his, desperate for any sort of friction, “Mmm I thought you were going to be good? You’ve got to be patient princess.”

You nod, pouting and looking at Nolan who was smirking at you. He grabs your thighs, standing up and carrying you into his bedroom. You fell back on the mattress, grabbing Nolan’s neck and pulling his lips back onto yours. He slipped your panties and shorts off one swift motion, leaving them to be forgotten about. You pulled of your shirt, and Nolan stops, his eyes wandering down your body, “Nol-”

“This is better than I imagined, god you’re perfect,” Nolan hums, his hands slowly moving down your body. He finally hooks your legs over his broad shoulders, pressing a kiss to your thigh, “You’re sure about this?”

“Nolan your head is between my thighs I think I’m sure,” You tease, kicking him in the back lightly. Nolan nods, flicking your clit with his tongue, pulling a moan from your body. It was everything he ever wanted to hear. His grip on your thighs tightened, his nails digging into your skin while he teased your entrance, “Nolan, fuck-”

Nolan’s lips wrap around your clit, slipping in a finger and curling it to hit your g-spot. Your hips lifted off the mattress, grinding against Nolan’s lips while he fingered you. You were close, curses and moans leaving your mouth because there were no other thoughts running through your head other than how good Nolan was making you feel.

“I know your close baby, c’mon,” Nolan growls against your pussy, sending you over the edge. You let you a yelp, your orgasm overcoming you while Nolan fingered you through your high. You ran your hands through his hair while you caught your breath, Nolan pressing kisses into your thighs. He didn’t give you much downtime, grabbing a condom from his bedside drawer and kicking off his sweats. You played with your clit, watching Nolan roll the condom over his cock and your pussy dripped in anticipation.

“I want to cum to all over your cock,” You whimper, Nolan finally sliding inside of you. He was big and the feeling was sensational. He pressed a kiss to your cheek, snapping his hips into you while you screamed underneath him, “Harder.”

Nolan was in euphoria, his name was leaving your lips like a prayer, begging him to absolutely ruin you. This was Nolan’s dirtiest fantasy, from the moment Kevin introduced him to his little sister with a threat for Nolan to keep his grimy little hands off of you. His hands were all over you now, gripping your hips while he fucked you, sure to leave bruises in his wake. Nolan’s hand ghosted over your neck, and you let out a deep breath at the contact, “Can I?”

“Fuck, yes,” You nod, letting Nolan’s large hand wrap around your throat. His was using you for leverage, fucking you into his mattress while you let out moans underneath him, “Fuck I’m close-”

“Be a good girl and cum for me,” Nolan spat, teeth grazing your jaw while he watched you fall apart underneath him. He let go of the grip on your throat, giving you no time to rest before his strokes got faster. He needed to chase his high, spilling into the condom while you shook from the aftershocks of your own. Nolan stayed inside you for a minute, his head in your neck while you watched the sweat that was glistening on his forehead. You ran a finger through his hair, wondering what the fallout from this was going to be.

“That was,” Nolan stops, muttering against your skin because he was speechless. The wasn’t just good, it was mind blowing, and the temptation to do it again might be a problem for him, “That was fucking incredible Boston.”

“Sure was,” You breathe out, picking Nolan’s head up and pressing your lips to his. You made out lazily for a while, basking in the post sex glow before you knew you were going to have to kick Nolan out. Kevin would be back in the morning, and if he caught you in bed with his teammate Nolan wouldn’t live to see another day.

“We should do this again sometime?” Nolan asks, watching you collect your clothes from his room. He wanted you to stay, sleeping under his arm in his bed where you should have, but he knew he was playing with fire. You look at him, a smirk on your face and a blush on your cheeks.

“You just might get lucky twice Nolan.”

And Nolan hoped he would...

[dearericbittle]

Top 5 2020

So the amazeballs @fairydustedtheory tagged me, and since she made me, I’m actually doing this. Or my version of it anyway. Hope you’re happy! 

Top 5 most popular fics

The coolest wolf in the whole wide world, Sterek. T, 8k. Summary: Stiles is surprisingly good at being a wolf. Like, super good at control, loves the drama of making weird entrances, and determined to try all the things. Because he has to find out what’s different about being a wolf. And Derek is going to be his Yoda, whether he wants to or not. Only Stiles is pretty sure Yoda never smelled this good.

Don’t know how to reach you when you get like this (waiting for you to come home), Sterek. T, 21k. Summary: Senator Talia Hale is going to be the first werewolf president. She is also his mother’s best friend, who’s in desperate need of a friendly mage to help her break the curse on her children. Stiles likes a challenge - and the free vacation in DC for his parents.

Step into the daylight (and let it go), Sterek. M, 14k. Summary: Stiles is a grad student with serious insomnia. So when he sees a stranger in need of help, he thinks it’ll be a good way to alleviate the boredom. How the hell was he supposed to know that the weird guy with the baseball cap was a famous actor (and a fucking werewolf)? He just keeps running into the guy. Coincidence? Stiles thinks not.

Did I mention (that I’m in love with you), Sterek. T, 8k. Summary: Stiles is pretty sure that Derek Hale hates him, judging by the way he disappears from the room the second Stiles enters. Derek is pretty sure that the entire world knows about his crush on Stiles Stilinski, and that’s why he has to avoid him. For once the werewolf thing isn’t even his biggest secret.

Everything mixed up (and baked in a beautiful pie), Sterek. T, 42k (6/6). Summary: Stiles’ friends are more of a pain in the ass than usual around the holiday season. Just because he spends all of his time at his bakery, doesn’t mean he’s unhappy. So hiring a fake boyfriend seems like the perfect, simple solution. Instead Stiles stumbles onto a stupid quest to make Derek Hale happy. But surely that will all work out in time.

Honorable mention: (Fuck you they said) As they threw their threads from their wedding bed, Sterek. M, 96k (9/9). Summary: First Son Stiles Stilinski just accidentally caused an international incident. And apparently the only way to save human-werewolf relations is to marry him off to Prince Derek of Triskele. Stiles is going to need all of his acting skills to make the marriage look real, because the Prince is kind of a fucking asshole.

Top 5 underappreciated fics

In this garden there’s no feeling, Travis Konecny x Nolan Patrick (1119). M, 55k. Summary: Nolan Patrick is a heartless, stone cold son of a bitch, and everyone knows it. Travis Konecny knows it too. He just doesn’t seem to care that the team witch is incapable of having feelings. Except when Travis touches Nolan, there’s a curious warmth, and everything that Nolan was sure he knew puts him and his newly rosy cheeks on very thin ice.

you try on callin’ me baby like trying on clothes, Jonathan Toews x Patrick Kane (1988). T, 4k. Summary: In the heat of the moment, in the midst of a game or a celebration, sometimes the words just slip out. Sure, Patrick totally gets that. But he’s pretty sure that Jonny has no clue he’s been calling him baby in various hockey-related moments. Though, how can he not know? How can Sharpy have noticed before Jonny did? He's going to get so much shit for this the second Kaner dares to confront him about it.

Time may change me (but I can’t trace time), Sterek. T, 9k. Summary: Stiles doesn’t like calling himself a mad scientist, but if the shoe fits… And when his latest experiment has some interesting side-effects, he has to re-evaluate some things. Mostly about how to stop acting like a child and be a better husband. Preferably before the adoption stuff pans out.

You were raised by wolves and voices (every night I hear them howling), Sterek. T, 11k. Summary: A sheltered boy with a reputation for telling tall tales, desperate to see the world and find out what monsters are real. A lone Wolf, ostracized from society as he takes contracts to kill the things that go bump in the night. A Mad Wolf, a Dark Druid, and destiny.

On the creature scratches (it doesn’t know how to get out), Sterek. T, 3k. Summary: The world ended seven years ago, and Stiles has spent seven days on the surface trying to track down a girl who is never going to be the love of his life. But is he actually as unloved as he seems to think he is? (Love and Monsters AU)

[puckingawesomerecs]

rarepairs recs

Hi! A couple weeks ago someone asked us for some rarepairs recs, which we do love here and are happy to provide. We have some new rarepairs recs ready in the drafts/queue (so they should be up on the blog within the next two weeks), including some Holtby/Wilson, Hischier/Konecny, Eichel/Hanifin, Johnson/Landeskog among others.

Note: We considered rarepair a pairing which had less than 50 fics in their ao3 tag.

In the mean time, we gathered 10 recs we’ve already made, with 10 different pairings. Hope you will enjoy the fics!

the not very thrilling life of succulents (brock boeser/morgan reilly | 66k | not rated)

Morgan Rielly has few problems getting laid in Toronto--he's a Maple Leaf, after all.

And Morgan likes sleeping with women just fine. But he doesn't always want to hook up with women; that's when he waits for road trips and he turns to Grindr. It's not ideal, but it works. A few taps on the app, a couple of messages, and within minutes there's some anonymous guy at the door for him. It's like Grubhub for gay sex.

The only problem is that this time when he opens the door, he recognizes the person on the other side.

shameless (andre burakovsky/nathan mackinnon | 6k | explicit)

“So what I’m understanding is that Burky is sleeping with people that look like you and you’re jealous about it?” JT states.

Nate flushes, it sounds so ridiculous when he puts it like that. “I’m not fucking jealous,” Nate mumbles with a huff.

(5 times Andre picks up a guy that looks undoubtedly like Nate and one time he didn't)

that center called love (mitch marner/john tavares | 6,3k | teen and up audiences)

John jabs at a burger on the grill with his spatula and then flips it over. “What’s wrong with my garden gnomes?” he asks.

“They’re creepy,” Mitch says, “and very ugly.”

pretty woman (nolan patrick/jonathan toews | 14k | explicit)

A true rip off of a rom-com classic.

wasted on a nice face (mat barzal/travis konecny | 1,1k | teen and up audiences)

He and Barzy are cool, usually. It’s just that Barzal probably doesn’t want to see him now, after two OTs of Travis pushing his buttons all over the ice.

little spoon (thatcher demko/quinn hughes | 20k | explicit)

Quinn keeps his skates on the ice and his feet on the ground. He doesn't go falling.

Thatcher pushes his way into Quinn's orbit: big, kind, uncomplicated. Quinn wants it to be nothing but there's a thrum in his fingertips saying it's something.

Quinn's life bends in arcs and circles; things seem to find their way back to the start.

on fit: (dougie hamilton/andrei svechnikov | 3,5k | teen and up audiences)

Dougie's a younger brother, and he feels weird being alone in Raleigh, and he feels guilty about wanting the teenaged rookie. Andrei's a younger brother, used to the spotlight, and he doesn't know why he's not enough.

or: Dougie's been called locker room cancer enough to not want to mess with anything, but Andrei is more than happy to be messed with.

rookies (mat barzal/brock boeser | 45k | mature)

“You know, if you wanna talk about your hate boner for Barzal, I’m all ears,” Stech tells him halfway through their western road trip.

you sunk my battleship (travis konecny/evgeni malkin | 7,5k | explicit)

“What you doing here?” Geno asks.

Travis thinks it’s pretty obvious, but if Geno needs it spelled out.

when i kissed the counselor (sam girard/cale makar | 42k | explicit)

Needing a summer job before transferring to CU Boulder, Cale gets a job at a summer camp. There he finds new friends, family, and a relationship he’s never had before, perhaps changing his life for the better.

[so-writing]

The Head Tolerates What The Heart Wants - Nolan Patrick (2)

“Hi, Nolan.” 

You had no idea that your simple greeting sent him into a tailspin. He removed his hat from his head and ran a hand through his dark hair before replacing the hat and stammering out an excuse for why he suddenly needed to get as far away from you as possible. 

“That was weird,” he heard you say as he all but ran away from your table. 

Nolan struggled to calm himself down and steady his breathing as he pressed his back against the fence outside the bar. What the fuck, he thought to himself, what the fuck am I doing?

He was sure that seeing you again would have a bigger impact on you than on him but he definitely surprised himself. How fucking embarrassing it was that he couldn’t even look you in the eye without losing his goddamn mind. 

Nolan didn’t know you were coming out, but he knew that Travis had been reaching out to you lately. He figured you wouldn’t go to a team event and decided that maybe he ought to try and get out a little more. Feeling sorry for himself and sleeping with randoms had become normal for Nolan and he decided that he should probably switch things up before his team forgot he was even a member. 

Getting dressed for the evening felt good, it felt like a fresh start and he was happy to finally try and take control of himself again. Being his best friend, Travis should have given him a heads up that you’d be there, but he failed to do that and when Nolan entered the bar, his gaze found your presence immediately. 

His heart dropped into his stomach as soon as he saw you. Thankful that you didn’t turn his way, he took in what he could see of you: long hair, black jeans, leather jacket and the LV booties he wanted to get you for your birthday but you insisted you buy for yourself instead.

Nolan watched you for a few minutes before his eyes met Claude’s and Claude looked to Ryanne and then they were both looking at you. It was now or never, he tried his best to confidently march over to you and tap your shoulder. 

When he did, and when you turned around to acknowledge him, “hi, Nolan,” he lost every single part of his cool.

*

“That was weird,” you rolled your eyes, pretending not to be shaken by his presence, though your heart was beating hard and your hands were sweating.

“Nolan’s weird,” Claude tried, “let’s just get back to our conversation, yeah?” 

“Yeah, sure, I need a drink though, excuse me.”

You headed toward the bar, keeping a lookout for Nolan, but made it without a sighting of him. As you ordered your drink, you tried to wrap your head around the events that had taken place in the past few minutes.

“So that wasn’t really what I expected,” Travis pulled out the stool beside the one you were leaning on and took a seat.

“What?” 

“I didn’t think he’d be so fucking weird around you. Nolan literally ran out of here like his ass was on fire, didn’t expect that.”

You chuckled and threw back the shot you ordered, “i’m going to take this tiny victory and assume that I rattled him.”

“Definitely take the win, because you did,” Claude came up to the bar and wrapped his arms around you and Travis. “He’s absolutely fucked,” Travis finished.

You knew they were feeding your ego and being especially nice to you but hearing those words made it that much easier to go back to the apartment you used to share with Nolan and sleep in the very bed you had been so sure you’d never even see again.

*

“Wake up, idiot, I brought caffeine.”

You rubbed the sleep from your eyes and looked at Travis standing in front of you with two cups of coffee.

“Fuck,” you stretched your arms above your head, “i’m so fucking hungry.”

“I bet, after all that shit you pulled last night, you’re probably fuckin’ starving.”

You jumped off his couch and met Travis at his kitchen counter, hungrier than ever and a little ashamed of your behavior the night before.

“What did I do, exactly?”

“Well,” he handed you the steaming cup, “you really wanted to go to your place with Nolan, like you were fucking set on that.”

“Fuck,” you rolled your eyes and took a sip of your drink, “I hope that’s all.”

“Not really, bud.”

A smirk formed on his lips, “you really hate him that much?”

“I have no idea what I told you but I don’t hate Nolan,” you knew exactly who he was referring to, “I just don’t want to see him. I loved him, he cheated on me.”

“I know, and I get it. He was wrong, but that doesn’t mean you guys can’t be friends, right?” 

“Trav, I don’t think I can be his friend.”

“Are you down to try? I’m meeting him for food in an hour and I don’t think he’d mind you tagging along.”

Your head swirled with fantasies of you and Nolan working out and memories of him telling you he cheated. You couldn’t deny that you missed him, especially after seeing him in person. 

“Fine, tell me where.”

*

Travis hyped you up the entire time the two of you walked to the deli that Travis was supposed to meet Nolan. 

“It’s going to be fine,” he practically sang as he opened the door for you.

Travis gently grabbed your arm and pulled you toward a small table in the back of the restaurant, a table that Nolan was seated at with his eyes on his phone.

“Hey man,” Travis cleared his throat, “I brought a friend, didn’t think you’d mind much.”

Nolan sat straight up immediately and the color drained from his face as soon as he made eye contact with you.

“Hey, Nols.”

*

Hey, Nols.

Nols. It made him want to fucking die right on the spot. You’d been calling him Nols for as long as he could remember and hearing it after all this time was heartbreaking.

“Hey,” his voice was unsteady, “you. Hey, you.”

He felt incredibly stupid but you just laughed softly and slid into the chair at the table, with Travis following your lead.

“Glad you’ve got a good grip on english, Patty. Did you order already?”

“Yeah, sorry.”

“No worries. Same order, bud?”

Travis looked to you for your answer and when you nodded yes he made his way to the deli, leaving you alone with Nolan.

“You were great in the first game, really solid.”

“Yeah? I could have played better, I had a lot on my mind that was fucking up my game.”

“Well stop that,” you smiled at him, “don’t allow anything to be more important than your game. You’re a fucking superstar, Nolan, you need to realize that.”