#no but fr it's so fascinating from a certain pov like

[brainjvice]

The concept of childhood trauma is so nuts to me because it's usually portrayed by the media in *extreme* ways, as if only extreme conditions may result in trauma, when it's not always like that.

Especially if we're talking about newborns of toddler. The smaller the child, the easier is to fuck up and nope, it doesn't matter that they "won't remember". Their body does. The body always fucking remembers.

And it lowkey drives me "insane" because sometimes a bad or complicated childbirth is *enough* to accidentally "fuck up". And of course it's not something anyone can predict. Accidents happens, but what makes me "!!!" is how much more impactful this shit is to babies.

Like hey, your mom was stressed during the first months of your life? Great! You may now be more prone to depression or anxiety when you become an adult!

And sometimes the impact on their everyday life is actually pretty severe. And it sucks because you don't even *remember* that part of your life yk.

Anyway. Kids are so easy to fuck up, easier than we imagine, and I wish this type of trauma was more talked about lol.

[docterzerocare]

Just read a very good joel centic fic with a very cool concept (Joel's Inferno by NiceCupOfAngst on ao3 go check it out fr) and a certain line has got my brain going

Joel and Scott are such foils, like its been known their connection with joel always trying to kill scott and the whole burning walls thing but also generally thinking about their relationships per seasons, they mirror eachother in a fascinating way (full disclosure this probably isnt a new thought but it just clicked in my brain ok lmao)

In 3rd life we establish joels lone wolf motif and start exploring his loneliness, having no one but his wolves really (only a few shoddy alliances that really dont last long), while scott gets married (and widowed which is connected in my brain but idk how to articulate rn)

In last life joel is arguably his loneliest, trying to have allies, friends, but the red haze cuts them short or not trustworthy, his longest allyship being made with red grian - while scott goes red out of loyalty to his allies (refusing to boogey kill them) and wins but alone (just him and his axolotl no one but his wolves)

Then double life is almost an inverse of their usual foiling, with joel finally having an ally that sticks around to the very end and scott having a more antagonistic soulbond, theres even something to be said about joel trying to save etho from the lava of the trapped portal but its too late, and scott sacraficing the win to pearl, both of their last actions being for anothers benefit but one fails (i feel like the ive connectes the dots meme frfr)

In limited life, we get joel wanting to sacrifice himself for a teammate but not getting to, and scott not intending to be a sacrafice (for once smh) but still being one for his teammate to win (also not really related but i kinda made the connection between the ll axolotl and 3l wolves before so my brain connected this too, fannon wise this is also a season where theyre very axolotl and wolf coded lol)

I havent actually finished their perspectives of secret life and i havent watched real life (yet) so i cant say much there so imma move on but you see the vision right

Anyway onto wildlife (from the perspective of someone who watched only joel and gems pov so far) theyre so connected like joel has gone all in on maintaining allies and being fiercely loyal to gem, like how scott in the first seasons prioritized loyalty to his allies, then joel brings attention to the fact that him always targeting scott dooms him so hes not going to do that - the fact that the seasons theyve won are the seasons theyve pulled attention to being loyal no matter the cost

Plus little bonus of them being allied with gem and pearl respectively and shiney duos whole situation

Idk if ive conveyed everything welk but yall see the vision right????

[signanothername]

yooo, it's me the playlist/fic anon! tysm for the songs and playlists, COMPLETELY FORGOT OUT 6UP 5OH COP OUT BY WILL WOOD I FUCKING FORGOT IT HOW COULD I IT DOES FIT SO WELL

AND OFC I CAN SHARE THE FIC WHEN i'M DONE I'D BE HONORED IF YOU READ IT ONCE I GET THE FIRST CHAPTER DONE GHJOH

I'm mainly writing it based on killermar,e but it's canon, and Nightmare realizes he's attached to Killer, and starts being a bitch, before *slightly* favoring him, but Killer is pretty certain this is just Nightmare tryna get him to fuck up, to use this aganist him, right? And the Nightmare realises, oh I am a HUGE fuckign asshole.

Don't normally ship Killermare, but the urge to write had gripped me and will not let go

Sup!!! And you’re very welcome <3333

AND FR IT DOESSS!!!

And EEEEEE THANK YOU CANT WAIT ID BE HONOREDTO READ IT :D❤️🌷✨

And omg yesssss, like I always wanted a more realistic depiction of how Killermare would be y’know? It’s absolutely not a relationship that’s all flowers and roses, it can even be right down toxic and/or abusive, full of doubt and obstacles to go through before the two actually settle down chhcch (slow burn relationship fr)

Nightmare being an absolute bitch while still feeling attached??? That’s literally how i see their relationship to be like from Nightmare’s pov hdhdhdh

But ugh Killer’s doubt that Nightmare’s just trying to pin something on him YES, Killer isn’t the most trusting person nor is he trustworthy himself (if we’re talking about Killer during stage 2 at least) so him just not trusting Nightmare’s motives??? Yes sir!!! Tho I’d say that depending on which stage Killer is in, he could feel a bit paranoid (stage 1) or he could just not give a fuck (stage 2) he could alternate between stages even cause of their relationship

And honestly we all need Nightmare to realize how huge of an asshole he can be hdhdhdh

Killermare is a fascinating ship to me to say the least, it’s a complicated relationship that has so much to explore, so even if I don’t really ship it myself i’m not opposed to it by any means, and i do enjoy it even <3333

I just usually prefer platonic relationships cause ugh they mean so much to me and they’re super underrated, that’s why i love to explore Killer’s and Nightmare’s relationship without my art necessarily being killermare, there’s just something special about platonic relationships to me :D

Anyway CANT WAIT FOR THE FIC GDHDHHDHDHD

[desertdiscs]

I am so chill and normal about q.smp (has watched/skimmed 5 diff day 1 povs and 2 diff day 2 povs) (i am so not normal about this it's so embarrassing actually bc like i am 10x more obsessed than anyone else i know)

(it's kinda nice tho bc since they're stream vods i can just play in the bg while i do work and don't have to worry much if i tune it out while they're alone)

I've been livetweeting a lot but tldr;

they're so unhinged and nothing is off limits I'm obsessed. so glad we have relationship histories, flirting, and gay sex and circumcision as canon already. shout-out to m.ariana for literally making his intro a dating profile. can we finally start shipping characters w/o ppl acting like you're breaking the law now.

w.ilbur is so embarrassing but like. it's endearing and his entire pov had me giggling and excitable like a kid w too much candy

c.harlie is HILARIOUS no matter who he's with, truly. language barriers does Not stop it! he's so peak comedy honestly, I'm so glad q added him.

I'm still learning abt l.uzu but I'm so obsessed w his design and his convos i have seen and understood have been fun!! obsessed w how his first response to will trolling him is to "in 20 days, destroy everything he loves." His convos w P.hil were super chill but nice to listen to and I'm excited 2 see more of him!! esp since he seems to alr be leaning into the RP. I get the feeling as a Wil fan that I'm gonna like him a lot, more than i already do. (I hope they develop a gay ass rivalry when W.ilbur gets back bc I cannot see this going any other way but Will getting SO EXCITED to obsessively beef w him.)

P.HIL CALLING R.OIER A PUPPY WHEN HE TRIED TO THREATEN HIM IS SO FUCKING FUNNY AGDNBDNFJF LITERALLY 0 SHITS GIVEN. literally just sat there shaking his head smiling and humoring r.oier and m.issa. dad-coded fr. (semi-related but i still can't believe L.UZU IS 37 AND THE OLDEST ON THE SERVER?? I THOUGHT HE WAS LIKE. WILL'S AGE.)

f.oolish and m.ariana 😭 i did not see the s.quidcraft event that they became boyfriends at nor do I care to but i am so obsessed w them already. I care they... they're so CUTE and the DRAMA btwn them... i can't help it. I'm weak. I love it.

r.oier is so fucking funny man. his humor seems to be like 90% sex jokes and i am HERE FOR IT. (i have the humor of a 12yo boy <3)

v.egetta is SO NICE wtf... fucked up. I think i read he wants to start a cult but like idec. start ur cult king u deserve it!! (giving big c.rowfather vibes if true tho but like. that's a vibe so.) idk much else abt him so far tho other than he became a stripper and pole danced for f.oolish and co. yesterday and is Absolutely making sex jokes too tho so! am v interested to learn more.

q teaching the eng speakers absolutely kills me inside. My Spanish is like, Spanish 1 level but like, i know enough from growing up around it that certain stuff he says I'm like 😭 oh no... oh no. it's so funny tho esp when f.oolish just repeats what he says w/o knowing what it means. god bless. I'm super excited 2 see where he takes all of this tho and what he does w his characters!!

I only caught glimpses of r.ubius yday but I'm so fascinated by his character. super excited to see where this goes.

[flying-elliska]

I went to see a few clips of the og on dailymotion for comparison and like i was afraid that being so into skam fr right now I would appreciate either og or skamfr less and like....nope. the magic is still there. Got such tenderness from it - also the og is just so fucking funny ? And sweet ? And brilliant in terms of atmosphere. And they look like babies ? And s3 was just perfect in all its imperfections, there was nothing to fix. And i am still riveted by Lucas and Eliott's story.

I love that skamfr is changing things and building their own symbolism. It's the same excitement i have whenever i read a really good fanfic of a story i love. And watching live is intense in a way i didn't get to experience with the og. That said, they've pushed everything a little to the left, it's not necessarily better or worse, it comes with its own story challenges. Some changes are going to be a relief from the characters' pov and some are going to hurt more. They're going to amplify some things and minimize others. A lot of that is a question of personal taste more than a judgment of value.

I just wish ppl would stop going for 'oh they're fixing og' or 'they're messing it up' because like that's the lowest least interesting form of comparison. Skam France moving away from og's more naturalistic, introverted and intimate tone towards something more antagonistic and heightened makes a lot of sense in terms of culture, it's not necessarily bad (again fr loves a struggle lol). I'm a bit worried abt certain things like Mika or Basile but we don't have the complete picture yet. We've got to be able to judge it for internal cohesion before any comparison.

I mean skam is such a fascinating experiment in terms of replicating and modifying the same story across cultures and there is such potential for discussion. It would be a shame to see that only become petty squabbles over who's best (i mean that would be very European adhfjfkfkflf but come on).

In the end it's like, look, more cake !