#nittenook

[the-short-stouts-tavern]

Firestartem PART II

Previous

Northrend, in general, is a pretty terrible place to visit.

Nothing against the inhabitants, of course. Those who are actually alive are fine. The Kalu’ak are tolerable and bring good fish to the table. The Drakkari trolls keep to themselves after eating their gods and finding out it wasn’t really a long-term plan. The storm giants are fine, if a bit closed-off. Same with the gorlocs. The wolvar...

Look, most of them are fine.

Still, no race in Northrend really tops the “neighbors you wouldn’t want at your Brewfest party” list like the blue dragonflight. The whole “end of all magic” deal kind of reverberates through the years, even if they have tried to rectify it.

The end of the Nexus War, as Dalaran called it, was finalized with the death of the Dragon Aspect of Magic himself, Malygos. When the dragon breathed its last and fell into the leylines of the Eye of Eternity, it was not with triumph but sadness. Malygos lived a long life, though much of it was fret with pain and sorrow.

The Nexus itself must be a painful place to reside indeed. I wonder who would willingly occupy it.

“I believe our destination is nigh!”

Above the permafrosted soils of the Borean Tundra, a flying carpet zoomed through the skies. Atop it stood the draenei mage Nittenook, grinning confidently as he did a spiral in the air. This was a mage who didn’t have a chance to fly much these days.

Behind the draenei flew a small bird with markings on its wings. Though it kept its distance, it was following him.

Soon the two came to a stop in front of a cavern in a mountain. Nittenook hopped off and the bird, glowing green and bursting out smoke for a moment, revealed itself to be the night elf druid Nysian. He huffed and coughed. “Ugh, I hate this place.”

“This area...is very cold, yes?” Nittenook moved his hand out and brought out a flame. “Here, friend.”

“No thanks, it’s not the cold. I just...ACHOO” Nysian sneezed once and hacked out a cough. “Ugh, just...something in the tundra is giving me allergies. There’s a reason I went more towards the path of Restoration.”

Nittenook began to walk into the cavern. “I always thought this was...a desire to stay out of combat.”

“Nah, tree bark doesn’t make me hate myself.” Nysian sniffed.

“Hahaha...” Nittenook grinned. “This is good. Ample conversation fodder, yes?”

“...uh huh.” Nysian eyed him.

“Hmhm...now I can say something about myself! I am deathly afraid of houseplants!”

Nysian blinked.

“...that is...amusing and can be added onto, yes?”

“Hm.” Nysian sighed, stepping in front of Nittenook and paying him no mind. No doubt this is another part of Sareva’s mad plan. “Look, Nit, let’s just focus on the job. Pleasantries can wait.”

“Oh! I can do pleasantries fine!” Nittenook walked next to his friend, arms behind his back. “I think you are a very good tree, Nysian.”

“...thank you?”

“No problem!” Nittenook grinned. He then proceeded to continue walking, but he - very coyly in his own mind - began to look at Nysian expectantly.

Nysian looked at him, then frowned. “Uh...you are...good at catching things on fire.”

“Ah! I’m glad you think so, too!” Nittenook wore a proud grin on his face.

Damn it, Sareva...

Soon they found themselves inside of the frozen valley called Coldarra, where a giant needle of arcane power rested in the middle of the plain. For a time, the needle was being used to redirect the leylines of Azeroth towards that one point, called the Nexus. This would have effectively silenced all the mages of the world. Wards against corruption would fall, demons would be freed, cities would fall from the sky, and Azeroth’s defenses would be crushed against another invasion.

Nowadays, it’s nothing more than a yearly meeting ground to discuss the flight. No doubt the days have not been kind to them.

They began to follow the cracks of the surface, slowly making their way to the center of the plain. Even though the leylines returned to their original form, the Nexus itself was still a veritable fountain of arcane power, maybe only exceeded by the Nightwell in its heyday.

As they made their way down the slope into the crater, Nittenook ran ahead to see if he could find their contact. Nysian sighed and looked around.

Let’s try opening all the doors we can instead of closing them.

He couldn’t help but roll his eyes. If it wasn’t for Nittenook, the world would probably be safe now. Why is Sareva not as upset as he is? Why isn’t Kegoc?

Hell, Kegoc gets more annoyed at Nittenook’s shenanigans than anyone else. The fact that he’s been this cool-headed is nigh uncharacteristic.

...maybe the fact that he feels so bothered by it is uncharacteristic.

He just can’t understand it.

Please! I can’t! I can’t go in again! I can’t!

If I fall asleep, they’ll...they’ll kill me! You have to believe me!

Brother, please let me stay here.

Don’t let me dream.

“Hm.” Nysian narrowed his eyes. “Oh, whatever.”

He turned around and found himself face to face with a blue snout. It exhaled a heavy warm burst of air from its nose that blew his hair back. “G-gah!” The druid jumped back and brought out his staff. He was face to face with an elder blue dragon. Not a whelping nor a drake, but an elder dragon.

He didn’t know what to expect from this, but it was certainly not what had proceeded.

“Hahahahahahahaha.” The dragon moved his head back and laughed uproariously. “Oh, that is priceless. I’m so glad I stalked you guys.”

“You...are our contact, I presume.” Nysian grimaced, moving his staff back onto his back.

“You are correct, mortal.” The dragon appeared to be smiling. “I heard the new owner of Aluneth was in need of some assistance. To be honest, I didn’t like her, but I also hate being indebted to someone. As much as I hate to admit it, the little human did save my very important hide and very handsome scales.”

“I....see.” Nysian watched the dragon carefully.

“Oh, where are the manners today!” The dragon smiled.

...

The dragon leaned in and took a deep glance at the elf. “Who are you?”

“Oh...right. I am, Nysian.”

“Haha. I am Azuregos. A pleasure.”

“L-...likewise. I hope we get-”

“NYSIAN LOOK OUT A DRAGON!”

Nysian and Azuregos looked to the side and saw a very large fireball hurtling towards the area.

“Nittenook, no!”

“Oh?” The dragon stepped forward and grinned, closing his eyes as the fireball slammed right into his body. The force was surprisingly powerful enough to knock the dragon back a few feet, but not enough to bring him down.

On the top of a platform in the center of the needle, Nittenook began pooling fire magic into his hands, creating another gigantic fireball. “Get away from my friend!”

“Nittenook, come on, don’t!”

“YAAAAAAAAAAH” He leaped in the air. Nittenook began to glide forward, getting in position. With a grand toss, he sent the fireball straight into the dragon.

The impact was massive. For a moment, the only thing Nysian could see was a blinding orange, the only thing he could feel was an intense heat.

Nysian blinked and looked forward. He saw Nittenook frozen in front of him. No doubt, this was him trying to protect him. Still, he couldn’t help but be a little upset. He knocked his fist on the ice. “Nittenook, what in the hell did you do?”

Nittenook broke free of the ice and turned around, smiling. “I just saved you. From the dragon!”

“That is our contact, Azuregos, that you just hit. You probably gave him a very bad burn.”

“Oh! Oh......oh.” Nittenook winced.

In the smoke, there was a loud cough. “Wow, that was a lot of fireball with very little throughput. Do you even study?” The dragon stepped from the smoke, his wings looking slightly singed but nothing too bad. “If you put all your attention in a bigger fireball, it won’t really do much for you. It’s all about the feeling of each one having the potential to blow up in your enemy’s face.”

Azuregos moved forward and, through a small bit of concentration, materialized a manual in front of Nittenook’s person. On the front of the cover, there appeared to be a graphic of a figure surrounded by an icy mist. “Here, I listed your primary goals for a fire-based mage here.” He waited for Nittenook to open the book and take a look inside. “It also lists the perfect dish for a dieting Mage that needs a power boost.”

Nittenook thumbed the book, then grimaced. “...oh, ew, it’s all fish?”

“Do you not like fish? I almost thought I could trust mortals again.” The dragon’s eyes narrowed.

Nysian cleared his throat. “Excuse me, Azuregos. I was hoping we could get back to the point.”

“The point?”

“Of us being here.”

“Oh! Oh, of course, of course. What are you here for?”

“What are-...Sareva told you, didn’t she?”

“Oh, I heard something about a child eating a titan’s watersack, a druid sourpuss and what she described as my new favorite draenei coming over to find out how to make the child vomit uncontrollably, and that is it.”

“That’s...exactly what we’re here for, yes.” Nysian folded his arms, looking up at the dragon inquisitively. “Are you going to help us?”

“OH, of course. Of course. Right after you do a little errand for me.”

“Oh! Errands are fine. What do you need done?” Nittenook asked, grinning.

"I need you to stop my assassination.“

TO BE CONTINUED

[the-short-stouts-tavern]

Firestartem PART 1

Elune’s grace has given us a chance to move forward. It is what the Dreamer would want.

Yes, my lady. You are correct. I will move forward.

Days had turned into weeks as the small laboratory nestled in Dalaran became its own sort of daycare. A tiny tauren baby that consumed the Tears of Elune, one of the Pillars of Creation that held the key to Azeroth’s salvation, had begun to accept that this must be home now. It helped that the lab occupants were not mean to the child.

Sareva walked in with her clipboard, filled to the brim with notes she had taken on the child. Although she heard from Kegoc about the child’s sudden ability to fly across the world, it certainly did not show this to her. No matter how many times she had tried to replicate the scenario, there was no flying tauren to be had.

In the corner of the room sat Nysian, tinkering with another small device nestled into a tree. His eyes glimmered lightly as he concentrated on his task. It was always interesting to see...any of these three actively work on something.

“What are you up to, Nys?” Sareva asked, walking over with a mug in her hand.

“Mm?” Nysian’s eyes brightened in glow as he turned his focus to Sareva. “Oh, I apologize. I was focused on my pet project.” He put down his arclight spanner. “I had to remake it after the tavern...you know.”

“Was destroyed by a dreadlord driven by spite after you three pissed him off? Yeah, I know.” Sareva took a sip of her drink. “So what is it supposed to do?”

“I was looking into ways of integrating some sort of sun-powered device that fed the plants out of direct sunlight. You know, in case a demon destroys the sun or something.”

“Ah, like a portable sunwell?”

Nysian scoffed. “If you want to call it that. I’d prefer not calling it after a high elf bathtub.” He coughed, then spoke louder. “No offense, Sotoris!”

“None taken, hairy tree-hugger!” Shouted a voice from the other room.

Nysian smirked, then looked at Sareva’s frowning face. “...what? We have a thing.”

“Hm.” Sareva shook her head and turned around, walking back to the child on the table. She began to look over her notes and took out a small vial. Coaxing the child to drink it, the contents were almost immediately spat out. The child did not like this.

She sighed. She knew this wasn’t going to work. She had attempted to expel the fluid from the child weeks ago. She hoped making a potion that would cause magical effects to be expelled from the body in some sort of fluid form would work, but her attempts have all been met with failure.

"You know, we could have locked the Tomb of Sargeras away by now.” Nysian leaned back in his chair. “Attempt to absorb the magic out of the child and find a new vessel. Be done with it.”

“Off the table, remember?” Sareva looked over at the druid. “Kegoc’s orders.”

“Kegoc says a lot of things. I’ve known the dwarf for a long time, but his insistence in trying to uphold a righteous and virtuous path is, annoying.” Nysian stood up from his chair, stepping to the table. “He’s too focused on absolutes, like a paladin usually is.”

Sareva looked at the druid, frowning. “The absolutes that he follows are his own moral foundations. Killing a child is a last resort and you know it.”

“A ‘chance’ at killing a child. Regardless,” Nysian looked at the child, who proceeded to stare at the druid with a look of annoyance. He frowned and looked back at Sareva. “How long before we have to discuss that ‘last resort’?”

“Nysian...” Sareva looked at the child for a moment. “The last resort is the Legion at our doorstep.”

“Shall I get the welcome mat out, then?” Nysian asked with a biting tone.

Sareva’s expression turned to anger as she stepped forward, looking the druid right in the eye. “I understand your frustration. I really do. But your tone is not appreciated in the slightest. I’m not going to give up trying to figure out how to handle this like you have. We can’t do this unless we work together.”

“Sorry if I don’t think we’ll be getting anywhere with our team. A paladin who knows nothing about the arcane and a mage who knows....nothing.”

Sareva frowned. “Hey, don’t talk about Nittenook like that...are you still upset at him?”

“I mean, he did kidnap the problem child over there.” Nysian looked over at the table. “Even beyond that, his...eccentricities may have cost us a chance to make quick work of this situation.”

“Look, Nys...I know this isn’t really a great situation all-around, but it’s especially not good for the baby. He didn’t know better. He didn’t choose to obtain this.....this...”

Her expression shifted back very suddenly, her eyes brightening. “Wait......wait, wait, I think I may have an idea.”

“Oh?”

“Yes! But first, get out of my laboratory.”

It wasn’t until the next day that Sareva had finally called in for everyone to meet in the lounge of A Hero’s Welcome, famed tavern of the Silver Enclave district of Dalaran. There sat Kegoc, Nysian, Nittenook, and Liteena, the latter two of which were kept about 25 feet away from each other as per Nittenook’s request...and Kegoc’s insistence.

Soon, Sareva walked up the stairs, the baby tauren in tow. The four stopped their conversations and looked over.

“Ah, good. You’re all here.” Sareva smiled. “I may have a solution to our little child problem.

“Aye, lass?” Kegoc looked at her. “Did ye finally find a potion wot can get the magic out of ‘em?”

“No, unfortunately. I’ve tried every ingredient and potential potion I can think of and some that I looked into from some alchemists in town.” This brought Kegoc’s eyebrow to a peak and was looking to say something before she stopped him. “Don’t worry, Kegoc. The only ones who know of the child’s...condition is the Council of Six and my close companions in the lab. Some higher-ups in the Horde were concerned about it, but Archmage Sotoris was quick to stifle them.”

“So what are you wanting us to do about the little guy?” Liteena looked over at the mage. “We’re not.......are we?”

“No, we’re not going to do that.” Sareva reached into her bag and took out a small journal, handing it to the dwarf. “However, I believe the solution may be more direct than I once thought. Despite its divine and natural origin, magic is still magic. It should operate under the same sort of concepts of magic that we all know of.”

“What is this?” Kegoc asked, looking at the journal. “It looks very worn-out.”

“That is an old journal of Aegwynn, former Guardian.”

“Ah! I have heard of her!” Nittenook grabbed the journal and looked through it. “It was said she held Sargeras within her! That would have been quite painful birth.”

“That’s not how...well, close enough.” Sareva sighed. “Point is, I was looking through what was possibly done from there. The idea of passing power along to an heir like she did with Medivh is certainly an option. The tauren may lose any possibility of magic power inside of him, but a tauren doesn’t operate with the arcane anyway.”

“The problem with that, is assuming the baby can even do that.” Nysian looked at the child. “I don’t think it even knows how to sleep.”

“She knows how to sleep when I am with her!” Nittenook smirked confidently. “Maybe you’re not good with children!”

“I’m sooo glad you are, Nookie.” Liteena interrupted the two, leaning over a chair and looking at the draenei. “It helps to know that for the future.” She grinned. Nittenook visibly shook and recoiled, putting an extra 5 feet away from them.

Sareva looked at the three and looked annoyed. “Look, the point...the tauren’s a boy, Nit...the POINT is that I believe we could coax the magic out of the child without draining its life essence.”

“And how do we do that?” Kegoc looked at the mage.

“That...is something I can’t answer personally.”

“Then why are we here?” Nysian looked annoyed, which bothered Sareva.

“As I was saying, magic is still magic. I don’t have anything yet, but I think I know of a place that may.” She sat down and took out a small crystal key. “The Nexus Vault.”

There was a stillness in the air as the four took notice of the key. That key was once used by Sareva to enter the Eye of Eternity and, with the assistance of a few other adventurers of various noteworthiness, took out Malygos, the Dragon Aspect of Magic itself.

“...so you want us to break into one of the Blue Dragonflight’s vaults?”

“What? No. I have a contact in the Nexus. I worked it out with Archmage Kalec.” She smiled. “He’ll help you find anything that could possibly be there, provided you assist them with a certain errand.”

“Great. Errands.” Nysian sighed. “Well, with the five of us, I guess we-”

“Ah-ah.” Sareva moved her hand up. “I didn’t finish. The dragons have splintered out, and I believe it’s not wise to put all of our dragon eggs in one basket, as it were.” She took out another dusty tome. “Therefore I propose we split up. Two of us will go to the Nexus, and the other two will go to Azsuna to speak with Senegos, one of the oldest members of the flight.”

“Ah! I call Nookie!” Liteena grinned, pointing over to Nittenook, who almost immediately began shaking his head and waving his hands desperately.

Sareva looked over to Liteena. “’Tina, I need you stay here. You need to take care of the baby.”

“Wha-...wha?” Liteena frowned heavily. “But it hates me! It loves you!”

“I feel as though it would be wise to have me come along this time.” Sareva smiled. “Besides, you can consider this as an opportunity to learn child-rearing. For me?”

Liteena still frowned, but looked at the child. “Hrm....I....I guess so...sure.”

“Good.” Sareva smiled and moved the child over to Liteena, who struggled for a moment to handle a tauren baby that looked close to half her own size.

“So I assume ye’ll be goin’ to the Nexus, lass?” Kegoc looked over to Sareva.

She shook her head. “No, I think it would be more prudent if I went to Senegos. In fact, I would like you to come with me, Kegoc.” She smiled. “If that would be alright.”

“Aye.” Kegoc smiled back at her. “It’d been quite a while since we last went on an adventure together. But that would mean...”

Nysian and Nittenook looked at each other. Nysian looked back at Sareva. “So...you want us to go to the Nexus?”

“Yes.” Sareva nodded.

“I....I don’t know i-”

“Ahah!” Nittenook smirked, punching his fist into his hand. “What a trifle. I will properly singe the dragon without problem!”

“Nit, you’re going to be helping the dragon.” Sareva amended.

“I’m sure there will be singeing.” The draenei nodded, which brought the night elf’s hand to his face.

“So you’re making me go so I can fix the mess. You know, Kegoc can heal.” Nysian pointed at the paladin.

“I mean, in times of emergency, aye...” Kegoc shrugged.

“Regardless.” Sareva walked over and motioned the key over to Nysian. “I want you two to do it.”

Nysian stood up, walking over to Sareva. “I don’t know what you’re planning, but I don’t want part of it. Let Liteena go with Nittenook and let me stay with the child. I would probably prefer sitting with a child that hates me.”

“I could go with that!” Liteena shouted.

“Never! Your devious machinations would destroy our relationship with dragons! All of them!” Nittenook pointed at the gnome.

Sareva frowned, looking at the druid. “Think of it as a chance to relax. I am sure my contact won’t work you to the bone for the information we need to save the world.”

“But-”

Sareva stood up, grabbing the druid’s hand quite forcefully, staring up at the tall druid with a determined glare. “Nysian, before we pull out the welcome mat, let’s try opening all the doors we can instead of closing them.” She placed the key into the druid’s hand and stepped back.

An uncomfortable silence grew through the air before Sareva walked over to Kegoc. “Alright, everyone. We know our jobs. Let’s get going. Nittenook and Nysian, the portal in the bottom of the main tower should take you to Dragonblight. From there, talk with a flight master and you should get to Borean Tundra. Ask to go to Coldarra and you’ll get there in no time.”

She then snapped her finger. “’Tina, I have milk that can be warmed in the lab for the baby. Any more issues, just talk to Sotoris and he’ll help.”

“Right!” Liteena moved the baby up and began to walk down the stairs, clumsily. “I’ll...get there soon!”

Sareva looked at the draenei and night elf, smiling. “Remember...think of it as a chance to relax.”

“I’m always ready for relaxing!” Nittenook smiled.

Nysian frowned. This was going to be terrible.

To Be Continued

[the-short-stouts-tavern]

Tiny Problems

Far from the cries of an upset business entrepreneur and his duo of elvish lackeys, in the central tower of Dalaran, stood a human mage perusing a collection of books. The Council of Six, the rulers of the city, were quite intrigued by the Broken Isles, temporarily transforming its central tower into a sort of end-all collection of tomes regarding the small continent and its multitude of unique flavors of history. From the bountiful knowledge of the elven ruins to the vrykul’s storied kings to the kind of berries the Highmountain tauren ate centuries ago, it was most likely found here. A little outdated, sure, but the knowledge to learn here was vast.

The human brushed her hand over her robe, making a sound from her teeth. She was no doubt collecting a lot of dust from the lesser-read sections. Far be it from her to make comments about how underprepared the city was in its hasty teleportation over the shores, but she’s just a small cog in a system. It’s not Khadgar’s mission to study the plant life.

That job falls under Sareva, budding alchemist and herbal expert. What a job for her to have procured. As if mages don’t already do alchemy on the side.

Illegal kinds.

“Whatcha doooin’?”

Sareva smirked. “Oh, I’m just attempting to understand this situation that Kegoc’s mentioned to me.”

“Ah! Keggy is having problems?”

Sareva turned around and smiled, seeing a small gnome standing in the doorway. Her eyes hidden underneath a large-brim hat. Her robes were dark purple, a far cry from the blues Sareva is commonly around.

“Don’t worry, Liteena. It won’t be much of a problem once they’re back. Just need to study up on magical extractions of various liquids.”

“Ooo, like poisons or something?”

“Not just anything, Liteena.” Sareva moved her hand out and, utilizing a small incantation, summoned an image of a giant teardrop. “The Tears of Elune, a Pillar of Creation.”

Liteena walked forward, hopping up onto a stool nearby to examine the image closely. “Iiiinteresting.”

“The Tears were said to come from the Moon Goddess herself. It and the other Pillars were used to create the very ground we walk on....when we’re actually on the ground, mind you.” Sareva looked at a small map laid on the table nearby, then pointed at it. “The boys were there when it had somehow been consumed.”

“Just like Keggy...always ending up in some weird situation.” Liteena sighed. “Leaving me out of everything.”

“Were the Pillars to stay in the hands of the Legion, it would surely spell doom for our world.” Sareva continued, still focusing on her reading. “And it’s up to us mortals to...”

She blinked. “Why were you able to get in here, Liteena?”

“Huh?” Liteena frowned. “Whadya mean?”

“This hall is for mages only.”

“Pfff...oh, that.” The gnome smirked and moved her hand out, sparking a small red flame. “Just need to show you can cast fire and boom, Magetown! It’s actually a pretty egregious ID system, you know. Demons can do that, too!”

“I’ll...be sure to mention it.” Sareva frowned, leaning back on the table. “I’d be careful, ‘Tina. Most mages would...frown about-”

The two were interrupted by a shout from the hall.

“Sir, this area is for mages only.”

“Ah! Do not worry, friend! I am pure Mage and these are honored guests!”

Sareva frowned, moving her hand over her eyes. This isn’t going to be good.

Liteena, on the other hand, had her eyes sparkle with anticipation. Her toothy grin spread ear to ear as she moved her hand to her mouth, stifling a small giggle. “He’s heeeeere!”

“Mm....he sure is.”

The hall’s commotion began to get louder.

“Sirs, please stop.”

“We, uh, need to get to the Isles Library. Lady Sareva is there and we, need to see her. We have an appointment-”

“I don’t care, sirs, standard protocol states-”

“Ach, yer protocols are gonna git th’ lot a us killed, ya daft moron. Let us through, we ‘ave a child wit’ us!”

“Right, of-...is that a tauren baby?”

“Do not question our lifestyle, please.”

“Yeah! Baby tauren is rock in relationship, so please be moving.”

“Sirs, I don’t th-”

“Do ye want a hammer t’ yer face or are ya jes’ DUMB? Let us and our baby bull in!”

Sareva grumbled, then shouted from the hallway. “Tenus, it’s fine! Just....it’s okay, they’re with me.”

“......right.”

Kegoc walked into the library, grumbling. “I swear on me tavern in th’ bowels a hell, I will smack yer guardsman.”

“Please don’t, Kegoc.” Sareva sighed. “How was the trip?”

Nysian walked in next, muttering. “Long.”

Nittenook walked in, having fastened the tauren child onto his chest with a bunch of rope and cloth. “We have made many friends! Many-”

“Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeey, Noooooookie.”

ba bump

Nittenook’s jovial grin was paralyzed on his face. He slowly turned his head to where the voice laid. There he saw Liteena smiling at him. “Been a while...<3″ She hopped off the stool and, at a very unusual speed, ran up to give the draenei a big hug.

Nittenook’s face contorted into sheer horror. “...eeeeeeeAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH” The tauren cried out, shaken by the loud yell from Nittenook.

“AAAAAAHHHAHAHA! <3 <3 <3″ Liteena giggled as she held the blue oaf still with her tight grip.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA”

“WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”

“AAAAAHAAAAAAAHAAAA”

Sareva frowned. “DOES HE STILL HAVE A PROBLEM WITH GNOMES?”

Kegoc shouted back. “NAY! HE’S JES’ A BIT ANNOYED BY ‘EM! I think...”

“Well they’re both annoying me.” Nysian sighed.

“WHA?”

“I SAID THEY’RE ANNOYING ME.” Nysian spoke up.

“OH.” Kegoc nodded. “Aye.”

“WHAT?” Nysian shouted.

“I SAID A-”

“I CAN’T HEAR YOU FROM THE SOUND OF THREE CHILDREN SCREAMING, KEGOC.”

Ten minutes later....

Liteena frowned, floating in the air in a small bubble. “Hmph....let me go...”

“Oh no, I won’t.” Sareva sighed. “We both know what happens when you do that.”

“Aww, it’s fine. He’s just playing. I know he’s hiding his true feelings for me.” Liteena smiled with a giggle in her voice.

Meanwhile, Nysian was hushing the child gently while Kegoc was patting the back of the whimpering Nittenook, hunched over in a corner making the most pitiful of pot noises.

“There..there, lad.”

“Her grasp...it is......unnerving. Monstrous.” Nittenook spoke between gasps.

“I...feel as though that’s an exaggeration, lad, but....sure.”

Nysian sighed. “If we’re done, I have a mission from the priestess to fulfill.”

Sareva frowned, noticing an odd shift in leadership at the moment. “Very well, Nysian. I have found a few odd and ended remedies we could reproduce.”

“...remedies.”

“Well, we need to get the liquid out of the baby somehow.” Sareva shrugged.

Nysian frowned. “I could easily find plants to induce vomiting. I’m a druid. The child flew up to Grizzly Hills! We need some sort of magic-sucker.”

“Hmm...” Sareva frowned. “I’m not, entirely sure what we could do. Most processes we have in terms of draining magic tend to leave children at a bad state.”

“...as in...”

“Well, in order to produce some sort of effect on the power drain, it may...drain life essence from the child.” Sareva winched as she said it.

Nittenook’s ears perked up as he heard that. “W...wait, that is...not considered, yes?” He stumbled up from the ground, looking over at the two.

“Well, it’s not...completely off the table, no.” Nysian spoke first, which shocked Sareva.

“I....yes, I suppose we shouldn’t deny it could be a potential solution.”

“Never!” Nittenook shouted, walking over and putting his hand on the baby’s shoulder. “This...will not be debated.”

“Nit...” Nysian’s eyes narrowed. “The fate of the world is hanging on our procuring these artifacts an-”

“An’ if we were ta’ do this, then we ain’t no betta’ than th’ Legion.” Kegoc spoke up, walking over to the druid. “The option is off th’ table.”

Nysian’s eyebrows furrowed, then his eyes closed. “Then what do you plan to do?”

Kegoc frowned, then looked over at Sareva. “That’s what th’ mages are figurin’ out, aye?”

“Mm...” Sareva nodded. “I can’t exactly give a good estimate, but I feel as though, so long as the child stays in Dalaran, it’ll stay safe from the Legion until I find out a better way.”

“Then until then, we’re stayin’ in Dalaran.” Kegoc nodded.

“Very good.” Nittenook nodded, his voice sounding slightly more chipper. “A good plan, to rest!”

“Mmm, maybe we can rest....together.”

Nittenook winced as he looked over at the floating gnome. “A...ah, no. Not likely.”

“Hmph...” Liteena grumbled, then looked at Sareva. “C’mooooon, let me down.”

Sareva stared at the gnome, then brought her down to the ground.

Liteena moved her hand over her robe, flattening out the wrinkles. She then smiled and began to run.

Sareva was about to cast the spell once more and Nittenook slowly began to cower as Liteena ran past him and jumped up. “Keggyyyyyyyy!”

With a tackle, the gnome pushed Kegoc back as she began to giggle. In response, Kegoc smirked and lifted the gnome barely a foot smaller than him up in the air, “Haha, I thought it were odd that ye didn’t even register me, lass! Good ta see ya!” The dwarf moved the gnome down and gave her a warm hug. “Ah, lass, last time I saw ye was at th’ Brewfest last year. Ya never even saw yer pappy’s tavern.”

“Ah, it’s fine. I heard it blew up, so whatever!” Liteena smiled wide, patting the dwarf on the back. “Besides, your ale didn’t taste as good as Thunderbrew‘s.”

“I will throw you off th’ city. I know ye can’t fly yet.”

“I’d like to see you try and not get dragged down, too.”

Silence.

Kegoc and LIteena laughed, Kegoc smoshing the gnome’s hat on her head. “Ahh, I missed ya, lass.”

Nysian sighed, watching the two from afar. Inch by inch he noticed Nittenook walk over, then sighed again as he continued watching.

“Friend Nysian, if I may...will Kegoc not explode in mighty blaze from gnome contact like that?”

“Well, Nit, that is what is known as ‘correlation is not causation.’ That means that just because two elements are similar, that does not mean they are related. In this case, gnomes and spontaneous combustion is not one of them.”

“Ah.” Nittenook nodded. The child also noded, mimicing his gesture.

..............

“Are you sure?”

“I mean, I know it’s Liteena, but still pretty...pretty sure.”

“Mm...well, despite the monster over there...I’m glad things are kind of coming our way.” Nittenook smiled, patting the tauren child on the head.

Meanwhile, far to the southeast, in the human kingdom of Stormwind...

A scream echos through the darkened nighttime streets. A human female stood in horror.

On the ground laid a lifeless form of a male draenei, his once glowing eyes now darkened. His mouth was wide open with blood spooling out onto the concrete ground beneath. From the look of his weapons, it seemed as though he was a paladin. However, the hole in his chest makes it look as though a sword had run clear through him.

Nay, it even seemed like it was bigger than a sword.

The human stumbled back, her hand covering her mouth. “Oh...by the Light, no...no...” She looked around, then gulped. “I....I need to go and find a g-.”

No, no, that won’t be necessary.

.................................

Within minutes, there laid two bloodstains on the ground. But no bodies.

Where did the blood come from, people may ask as they walk by in the daytime. The guards will be informed. SI-7 will investigate.

They will find nothing. They search for missing people, but find nothing. Even families in town, they would search, but find nothing.

The families are gone, too.

Maybe one day the entirety of Stormwind will be eaten up. Devoured.

One day they’ll be there, too. One day they’ll be devoured as well. Oh what sweetness they will be.

Oh what sweetness I will indulge.

Oh what sweetness He will consume.

TO BE CONTINUED

[the-short-stouts-tavern]

To Dalaran With Love

“It’s really weird to see Dalaran so populated.”

The trio hovered slowly down from the high vantage point they found themselves in. (Nittenook has some pretty bad aim) As they floated, they took in the vast improvements Dalaran has seen since the Northrend campaign. Despite Stormwind’s struggles, it seems like the floating city was more than able to secure their finances after dealing with the various conflicts in the icy north. It may also be due to the extra contingencies built into the city after Jaina Proudmoore took control following the destruction of Theramore. Very secure, but emphatically Alliance-only territory.

But that is in the past. Now, Dalaran is floating in the Broken Isles under the control of Archmage Khadgar and the Council of Six. With the combined forces of the Alliance and Horde, the Council hopes to obtain the Pillars of Creation and seal up the Burning Legion’s portal once and for all.

“Aye, Nysian.” Kegoc replied, landing gently on his feet near the market district. “It has a sorta...home feel ta’ it.”

“Yeah. City without trees is totally my home.” Nysian said, his sarcastic tone returning after becoming so close to the goal.

Behind them, Nittenook floated down, pressing a bottle of liquid into the baby tauren’s lips. “There, there. Milk will make you strong.”

The tauren giggled as it enjoyed the drink, its being slowly glowing with a blueish light. “eeee”

“Hmm, we should probably find Sareva.” Nysian said, watching the baby closely. Inside of that baby housed the Tears of Elune, one of the very Pillars of Creation they were searching for.

“Aye. She’ll probably be in th’ beer garden. She knows where she’d find meh.” Kegoc smirked as he began to walk.

“Ooof!”

With a thud, a goblin runs into the paladin, causing Kegoc to step backward. “Ack!”

“Hey, hey, watch where you’re goin’, huh? Sheesh.”

Kegoc narrowed his eyes. “...aye, same to ye.”

The trio shrugged and began to walk away. The goblin sniffed loudly and adjusted his all-too-familiar hat. “Pff...weirdos.”

Dweit and Pals: Holly-er Than Thou

The hustle and bustle of Dalaran sure beats the hot days of Orgrimmar. The mages are kind and have the city up high in the air for a cooler (and felfire-free) lifestyle.

Majority of the mages who stay here end up staying here for good. Magic people tend to stay. Alliance people also tended to stay even beyond the Northrend campaign’s end. Even the Horde did, before that nasty Garrosh business. I mean, that’s multiple choice at that point, but regardless. The point is that Dalaran’s back, baby. And the higher the city in the sky, the higher the profits.

That’s what a goblin said at some point.

And that’s why Tendorel is shirtless and sitting at a table near the northern bank, with a sign above him saying “Arm Wrestle a Blood Elf. Perfect Your Arm Job”

Ace looked up at the banner, then back down at Tendorel, frowning. “I don’t think the phrase ‘Arm Job’ is appropriate....or exists?“

“Nah, it does.” Tendorel nodded his head. “A blood knight mentioned it one time. They use the whole-”

“Hellloooooo, my gracious minions.” The two looked behind them and saw Dweit sauntering down the road, smirking. “A profitable day for me, as per usual. So how much did your make while I was at the market?”

“Well, we started with 5 gold. We ended up with...” Ace turned over her paper. “4 gold.”

“....how did you bozos lose money?”

“Drinks.” Tendorel replied, shaking his head shamefully.

“Non-alcoholic, of course.” Ace noted, scribbling another note on her paper. “We’re still careful about costs going too high in our budget.”

“Okay, first of all, teh ‘budget’ is akin to yous askin’ fer somethin’ and me sayin’ ‘no’. Second, a bunch of springwater is, like, 10 copper!” Dweit growled, stomping towards the two. “You would have to have...10000 bottles!”

“1000.” Ace replied without a second wasted.

“Still a large number!”

Tendorel coughed. “If it helps, it’s actually water from the local springs in the isles. Premium water. Very good stuff. Only a little bit of smelly vrykul taste in it.”

“Oh, yeah, your ancient piss-heavy water is absolutely worth 1 full gold piece!” Dweit sighed and moved his hand over his eyes. “I swear, you two are gonna kill me.”

“Relax, Dweit. Soon we’ll be swimming in that dirty water.” Ace smiled. “I got a job for us.”

“....you.” Dweit looked over at the priest. “You have a job.”

“Mmmmmhm.” Ace smiled, moving her hands behind her back. “A little bird from the watering hole told me that there’s a demon in Dalaran’s Underbelly. If we were to take out that demon, then we would find ourselves with 1000 gold pieces each.”

“Ooooo.” Dweit’s devious grin grew the length of a literal figurative Warsong field. “Not bad, not bad.”

“And I must note, I did not need to be blindfolded for it.” Tendorel chimed in. “ It was purely with both eyes open.” He pointed at his eyes for emphasis.

“Well, this is good. Come tomorrow we’ll have a demon’s head in our bag and enough money to clean it after!” Dweit rubbed his hands together. “This is a very profitable position that-”

“Ohohoh...yous guys is cute as buttons.”

Dweit’s eyes widened, then narrowed into a natural goblin snear as he, along with Ace and Tendorel, turned their heads towards a nearby stairwell.

On top of that stairwell stood another goblin. Her form tiny but her body showing fair amounts of muscle, which must be needed for the giant axe on her back. (granted, a giant axe for a goblin is, like, a throwing stick for a tauren) Her metal glove laid upon the hip of her garish armor, her eyes hidden underneath a bit of a silly top hat. It was most assuredly swiped from a Gilnean, possibly with the head attached with how dangerous that axe looked.

“...ohhh, good. I was wonderin’ if yer ‘highness’ decided ta’ come ova’.” Dweit said, walking forward with a smirk.

“Aww, didja have a litta’ hope in me missin’ anotha’ chance ta’ ruin yah profit margin, Dweeb?” The goblin snickered, moving her hand over her mouth.

“....should we...” Ace asked Tendorel.

Tendorel shrugged.

“Ah! Wow, ya’ tellin’ me teh big man neva’ told ya about all teh times he lost big? Almost like he took’em personally. Heh.”

Dweit muttered softly, then turned around to his companions. “Ah, sorry, lackeys. This here is ta’ ‘eluuuustrious’ Holly N....Nuh.....oh, what was dat stupid name...?”

“It was Ni-”

“Nozzlefume?” Dweit interrupted the goblin.

“...Ni-”

“Noggenflog?” Dweit smiled.

Holly’s eyes narrowed. “....it’s Ni-”

“Oh right! Nuzzlefu-”

“OY, SHUT UP.” Holly jumped down from the stairwell and stomped over to Dweit. “What’s teh big ideah, ‘uh?”

“Haaaahahaha!” Dweit began a rumpus laugh, slapping his hand over his knee for comical effect. Ace and Tendorel awkwardly joined in.

“Ohhhhh...” Holly spat on the ground, moving her hands to her hips. She then smirked. “Think ya so cool, huh.”

Dweit snifffed, moving his hand over to his eye to wipe away a fake tear. “Oh, maybe. What’s it to ya, brass n’ tack?”

“Well, ya’ won’t be laughin’ fer long, toots.” Holly smirked. “Cause I’m gonna be teh demon slaya’ in this town. The three of yous can skedaddle.”

“Pfff.” Dweit moved his hand over to his mouth. “Please. I know yah got a good swing on dat axe, but I betcha can’t even aim it at a demon’s foot, let alone teh head. Meanwhile, I got my ELITE mooks over dere!” Dweit thumbed his way to Ace and Tendorel, who were less excited about being mooks than anything else in the world. “Whatya got, Holly?”

“Him.”

Holly pointed up to the roof of the Scribes' Sacellum shop, where a lone figure stood above them all. Elf in stature, the figure jumped in the air, bringing out two gigantic demonic wings as he floated gently down to the ground, landing in front of Dweit. Slowly the elf rose up, seemingly staring down at the diminutive goblin, though nothing but a bright felflame came from his eyesockets.

Dweit stepped back slightly. “A-ah...so that’s an-”

“An actual demon hunter...” Ace responded, eyes wide.

“.....nice.” Tendorel looked the demon hunter up and down. He gave the demon hunter a thumbs-up, but immediately brought it down considering how offensive it may be.

“Meet Mr. Denarye.” Holly walked over to the elf, smiling at him, rolling her tongue with the name playfully. “My tank.”

“......p-...pffff...” Dweit waved his hand lightly in the air. “Whatever. So you got a demon huntah.” He continued waving. “What could he possibly do fer ya?”

“Good question.” Holly smirked. “Denarye, dear? What do you think?”

“I will hunt the demon down.” The elf replied, cracking his knuckles. “And with pleasure I will sever its pathetic head and present it to the Council of Six on a silver plate.”

“...............nice.” Tendorel replied, before getting smacked on the head by Ace. “Ack.”

“Hmhmmm....he’s quite a specimen, huh? Betta’ than any good-fer-nothin’ shaman.” Holly smiled. “Hope ya weren’t plannin’ this fer a career, Dweeb. Cuz soon, teh only thing rollin’ in this town will be demon heads an’ my sacks o’ gold. Gold ya won’t be takin’ this time.” Holly snapped her finger which caused Denarye to pick her up with one arm, which is quite a feat considering the armor she wore. She blew a kiss at the three, gave a wink, and motioned for Denarye to bring his wings out and jump up into the air, carrying her off.

“.........”

The trio stood silent for-

“Who the hell was that?” Ace asked immediately, looking at Dweit.

The goblin sighed, then moved his hand over his hat, lowering it over his eyes. “I don’t wanna say.”

“She seemed pretty....forward with you.”

“....”

“Didn’t seem to like you, either.”

“.....”

“And I think she may want to humiliate you and kill y-”

“Fine.” Dweit interrupted her. “She’s my ex-wife. Happy?”

“..........”

“.........”

Tendorel coughed. “Well, I’m not. Can’t believe I wasn’t the best man.” (.)

TO BE CONTINUED

[the-short-stouts-tavern]

Grizzled Cry

The three heroes of the Alliance were now tasked with one of their greatest missions yet. Through the actions of Nittenook, heroic mage and bumbling babysitter, the great Titan artifact - the Tears of Elune - had been consumed by a tiny tauren child in his care. Using the tear’s power, the baby tauren had become endowed with fantastic powers and has flown off far into the west, and it was now up to the trio to find the baby before it was taken by the dreaded Burning Legion.

Now, through the deductive reasoning of the engineering druid Nysian, and a few questions asked by nearby Shaman, the group has finally figured out where the baby landed. And now they go, to the west...

Then right back up north when people were asking about a flying cow over Northrend.

“Ahhh, Grizzly Hills. Were but 5 years ago that I came here last.”

Kegoc flew slowly down from the sky atop his hippogryph, landing softly on the ground before dismounting. Soon after, a small bird flew beside him, its mass taking shape into the form of Nysian. With a cough, the druid dusted off a few feathers.

“I was never a fan. Staghelm planted a tree here and druids from long before had to cut it down once it became corrupted with Yagg-Something. It’s one of those bad points of druid history.“

“Ah, friends!” Nysian’s history lesson was interrupted as the two looked up to see Nittenook floating in the air on his magic carpet. “I asked nearby hunter people. They say biiiiig tauren comet flew by last night! They say it landed near northern part! It is apparently sight to see!”

“Very well.” Nysian said as he shifted into his bird form and began to fly up.

Nittenook watched as the bird flew along. “You...are welcome, friend.” He looked over to Kegoc and his frown was prominent. “Kegoc, what am I to do?”

Kegoc remounted his hippogryph and began to fly up to Nittenook. “Ye never seem t’ care much when ya mess up things fer me.”

“Yes. But Nysian is different.” Nittenook said, frowning moreso. “Nysian is never upset.”

“Bah, he’s upset lotsa times. I’ve known th’ git ever since th’ night elves ferst came t’ Stormwind.” Kegoc smirked. “He is one a th’ most judgemental druids I ever did meet.”

After a moment, Kegoc’s smirk disappeared as he noticed Nittenook’s genuine lack of cheer. It’s slightly unnerving when Nittenook is sad. He flew closer and patted the draenei on the shoulder. “Don’t worry, lad. Once we get th’ child, expel th’ Tears an’ get it back ta Highmountain, he’ll be back in good spirits.”

“It is with great hope that you are right, friend.” Nittenook replied, before turning his carpet around and flying fast to catch up with Nysian. Kegoc soon followed.

---

“PRAISE THE CHILD. THE CHILD OF HOPE AND GLORY.”

The trio finally found themselves up north, east of the den of Ursoc, where they happened upon a small caravan a few meters away. After the fall of the Lich King, travel had begun to pick up in force in the icy region of Northrend, and Grizzly Hills in particular was highly known for its veritable goldmine of unique vegetation and scenery. This time, however, the travel seemed to have granted them a new gift.

A few humans and dwarfs and elves were kneeling down, bowing in reverence in front of a makeshift alter. There, a giant ice troll in a large robe moved his arms up in the air.

“Rejoice, bruddahs an’ sistahs! Today, da Light has delivered unta’ us a savior!”

Nittenook smiled. “Ah, good, we could use savior-”

Before Nittenook could move forward, Nysian grabbed the draenei by the tail and dragged him into cover. “Shhhhh...”

The three watched as the troll slowly walked up to a human woman near the front of the rows. “Tell me, hummie. What troubles ya?”

“I...I am...lost. I was cursed. Cursed to become a....a foul beast.” The human was shaking, holding out her hand to the troll, showing it slowly turn from a fleshy human to the claws of a bestial wolf.

“Ahhh, dis is not da curse of da Gilnean worgen. Dis is beast worgen.” The troll shook his head. “Dis is someting ya cannot live wit’, ya?”

“Yes....yes, please. Please help me. I was told th-that something here cured undeath. Surely it could....help me.”

“Yes.....yes, it shall!” The troll’s fangs grinned as he turned and walked to the pedestal, taking in his large hand a small creature in a blanket. “Dis is ya’ savior. Kiss da child on da head.”

The troll moved the baby towards the human, the baby giggling little tauren sounds.

“There she is.” Nittenook smiled.

“He.” Kegoc replied, moving his head up over the bushes. “It is he. But what on Azeroth are these people doin’?”

The three watched as the human lightly pecked the child on the head. The tauren giggled again and began to glow a blue light that slowly enveloped the human. Soon the bestial arm began to revert to its original fleshy color, her claws retracting into normal human fingernails. She looked her hand over and began to cry.

The crowd around them began to chant. ‘All hail the Child of Light. The Light has Come to Revive Our World. To Save It from the Legion. Thanks Be to the Light!”

Kegoc frowned. “Well...getting the child back may not be that easy.”

Nysian nodded. “True. It’s times like this that we need to wait and prepare for...” He looked over to where Nittenook was but found that he was not there. “...oh no.”

Nittenook walked down the rows of chairs and waved. “Hello, Mr. Troll!”

The troll looked over and smiled. “Ahhhh, draenei. Have ya come to see da miracle?”

“No. I wanted to come and take daughter home.” Nittenook grinned. “See, child there is mine. I need to bring her back.”

The entire caravan of this newly formed church turned their gaze to the draenei with a shocked expression. “What? But He is the savior!!”

“No, no. SHE is savior! And SHE is also needing to be home soon.” Nittenook grinned.

The troll moved his gaze down to the child. “But....dis child landed in da lands. Dis child is a deliverance of the Light?”

“Well, no.” Nittenook smiled again. “Just drank some god juice and-”

“Nittenook, no!” The duo from the bushes shouted as they came out.

The troll looked at the child. “.....so...dis child has da power of a god in it?”

“Yup!”

“So...” The troll began to smile. “If I eat dis child, would dat power be granted to I?”

“................I....don’t believe so?”

The troll looked at the child, who giggled again. “Dat’s not a no.”

“Nittenook, grab the child! Now!” Kegoc shouted as he began to run forward. He moved his shield in front of him and slammed himself into the troll’s midsection. The draenei used his arcane magic to shift a few feet forward so he could grab the child.

The troll shouted. “No! Friends! Dey seek ta’ take da Child of Light from ya all! Don’t let dem do dat!”

The caravan looked at each other, then at the child. Then they looked at the troll. “You were going to eat the Child of Light.”

“TA GET DA POWER FER YA!” The troll shouted at them.

The human female that had just been cured of her curse shook her head. “Why would we want it after that? I would not want to lose my curse by being a monster...never...”

“Yeah!” Nittenook shouted as he rocked the baby in his arms. “Is good mortal value system there! Good healthy choice!”

The congregation smiled at themselves as they began to walk towards the troll. The troll spat out a set of extremely vulgar expletives and stood up, running away towards the nearby steps to his home of Zul’Drak.

Nysian moved forward from the middle row, smirking. “Well, that was interesting.”

Kegoc moved the shield onto his back and smiled. “Of course th’ Drakkari troll would want ta eat th’ thing even aftah what happened ta them.”

“Yes....just what is expected.” Nysian sighed. “Now we can get the child back to Dalaran for the tears to be extracted.”

The child cooed as it was rocked back and forth by the draenei. “Yes. Is good idea, to be sure. Let me make portal to Dalaran.” He moved his hand up to the air and began to weave a spell.

“....you could have made a portal to Dala-” Nysian was about to continue but he sighed, then smiled. “Very well. Let’s get this child to Sareva and see what she can do.”

“Aye.” Kegoc walked over and patted the draenei on the back. “Good catch, lad.”

“Yes.” Nysian smiled. “Good work, Nit.”

Nittenook’s smile grew so wide that he didn’t even notice that he accidentally made his spell into a pyroblast that erupted onto the alter by accident. The caravan looked especially annoyed at them as they all grinned awkwardly and disappeared to Dalaran.

---

And so the three heroes found the so-called Child of Light, and brought the child to the council in Dalaran. Khadgar, with too much to do to deal with this shit, entrusted the matter to their comrade Sareva, an expert magus who should be able to unravel the secrets of how to extract such a powerful artifact from a living soul.

Next time, murder.

TO BE CONTINUED

[the-short-stouts-tavern]

The Last Drop

“This shall be remembered as one of the darkest days in Azeroth.”

The beautiful forests of Val’sharah, for days, had become hustled with the encroaching corruption slowly filling its lands. The war between the druids of Cenarius and the satyrs of Xavius came to a head at this location. At the Temple of Elune, the night elf goddess of the Moon. There, the priestesses and druids banded together to prevent this holy sanctuary to become corrupted as well.

There, they were forced to do the unthinkable. Ysera the Dreamer, former Aspect of the Emerald Dragonflight and protector of nature - corrupted by the Nightmare - was brought down.

Standing before the verdant remains, Tyrande Whisperwind, High Priestess of Elune, spoke a silent prayer for her departed friend.

“But hope remains.”

Tyrande walked forward, to the beautiful flower that erupted from the center. She took within her grasp a small, almost miniscule thing. A teardrop.

The Tears of Elune. It floated effortlessly from her hand, but never left her eyes.

She turned around and took another look at the heroes that helped her. The ones who secured this bittersweet victory. Who comforted her in their presence as they tried to help her find her beloved husband, Malfurion.

“Heroes, I must ask that you take this to Dalaran. No doubt Xavius and his ilk will try and attack this place again. It is better if it is secure in the city.”

She waved her hand forward and allowed the tear to float gently through the air. It finally laid rest in the plated glove of a dwarf.

“I won’t let ye down, ma’am.” The dwarf replied, bowing his head respectfully.

Beside Kegoc stood the druid night elf Nysian, leaning gently on his staff. He watched the tear in the dwarf’s hand, then looked away.

This was noticed by Tyrande, who walked over to the druid. “Though I am not as connected to the Emerald Dream as you, archdruid, I know how it feels.” She laid her hand on the druid’s shoulder. “But Elune’s grace has given us a chance to move forward. It is what the Dreamer would want.”

Nysian took a breath, then nodded. “Yes, my lady. You are correct. I will...move forward.” He moved his hood over his head, the hood forming a triangular shape as it struggled to keep his ears inside.

With a final goodbye, the two heroes slowly began to walk away from the temple.

Kegoc watched in front of him as the tear danced in his palm, as they walked slowly down the walkway in the center of the forest.

“It’s amazin’ how weightless it floats.”

“Yet the burden is weighed heavily upon us.” Nysian replied, walking in front of Kegoc. This sudden shift in character perplexed the dwarf, who stepped faster to stand beside the night elf.

“Oy...you alight, lad?”

Nysian kept walking. “It’s going to be a long walk back and we’re going to need to find a suitable hippogryph rider to fly us to Dalaran. We must make due haste.”

He soon found that he had gotten a few feet ahead before he turned back to see Kegoc standing still, staring him down. “....what?”

“It’s going to be a long walk, an’ I know ye kin stay quiet fer ages. So speak up.”

Nysian narrowed his eyes, then sighed. “I may just be a bit worried about what we have on our person.” He pointed at the floating tear in Kegoc’s hand. “And, keeping it out where anyone can see it.”

Kegoc frowned, then moved the tear into his bag. “My apologies, lad. There, no one kin’ see it.”

Nysian was silent for a moment, then nodded. “Thank you.”

“...........”

Kegoc and Nysian stood silent for a moment, then started to notice a loud cry slowly come into earshot. They looked around.

“..aaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAA”

The duo looked up to the sky and saw a burning figure spin gently through the air. After a moment the gentle falling became a free fall. “AAAAAAGH”

Kegoc and Nysian stepped aside as they saw this unfortunately familiar figure tumble on the ground and into the grass nearby. Sparks floated around as the mage slide belly-first through the ground, causing a small fire to erupt nearby.

Slowly, the figure stood up and dusted his robe. “Ahh, that is not good vantage point for travel.”

Kegoc smiled as he walked forward. “Ah, Nittenook. Was worried about ye.”

“Ah, really?” Nittenook smiled.

“Nah, but th’ mountain isn’t on fire so I’m good regardless!” Kegoc replied with a grin as he smacked the draenei’s side.

“Haha. Highmountain was big fun! Should all go next! Tauren very angry up there and weird drogbar things punched me off mountain.”

“Haha, yeah, sounds g-....wha’?” Kegoc frowned.

“Yes! Punched right in face. Was not very fun. Seemed nice, though.” Nittenook frowned.

Nysian sighed, but couldn’t help but smile at the reemergence of another friend. He walked forward. “It’s good to see you, Nit. And....”

After a moment, Nysian narrowed his eyes as something came into view.

“Nit, what is that on your back?”

Nittenook looked over at the druid, then smiled wide. “Ah! That is another treasure from Highmountain.” He turned around. On the back of Nittenook laid a basket strapped around his body. In that basket was the form of a giggling baby tauren.

“Is she not cute?” Nittenook moved his hands to unstrap his backpack and grasped the baby in his arms. “Was just in a river on Highmountain. Was very close to bears. Probably left there to feed, so free stuff!”

Kegoc’s eyes widened as he took the tauren from the draenei’s grasp. This abrupt action caused the baby to begin crying. “What are ye THINKING, Nittenook?!”

“....freeeeeee stuff?”

“This is, clearly a lost child, Nittenook.” Nysian watched the bawling baby with a grimace. “It reeks of wet fur and irresponsibility.”

“That irresponsibility is just th’ burnin’ cloth from him.” Kegoc replied.

“WHAT?” Nittenook spoke up over the wailing of the baby. “CANNOT HEAR YOU FROM DEFECTED CHILD.”

Nysian grimaced. “It’s, probably a good idea to silence that child before Sargeras himself comes in.”

Kegoc sighed, trying to rock the child gently. “I don’t do well wit’ children. I only had Sareva around when she were but 5, an’ she was a problem child.”

“WAAHHHHHHHH”

“Hmph. Let me try.” Nysian walked forward and grabbed the child from Kegoc, moving it up. The tauren sniffed slightly as it watched the druid.

The druid stuck his tongue out. “Myaaaaah”

The tauren giggled, clapping its hands.

The druid shifted his face to form the head of a cute baby seal, with a few ‘arf’s which prompted even more laughs. It seemed like it was working.

The next form it took was the form of a cat head, and the fangs from the head must have been too striking, because the frightening visage prompted an even more horrified cry from the baby. “WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”

Nysian shifted his face back, frowning. “Ugh...”

Nittenook grabbed the child back. “The child, she seemed okay with me.” Nittenook nodded. The child sniffed, then giggled as it shifted around in the draenei’s warm robe. Warm being, charred.

Both Nysian and Kegoc stared at the mage, then at each other. Then they both sighed. They knew splitting up the team was a bad idea, but noooo. Sareva told Nittenook to see about the Highmountain tribe, then told them to go to Val’sharah. Deal with more places at once to fight the Legion fast.

Feh.

Kegoc took off his plated gloves and grabbed the child again. This time, away from the cold plate, the child seemed more accepting. “This is ridiculous.”

Nittenook scratched his beard of tentacles, frowning. “Is it not wise to take rewards from the land? We did so on Draenor?”

Nysian frowned. “We did, but they were boring things on the ground. Love-lost necklaces, a stick holding up a rock..a bird here and there. We never took an orc child.”

Kegoc nodded, gently letting the tauren shift around in his hands. He sat down, putting down his satchel and letting the baby down on the ground. “Besides, th’ last thing we need in our lives is a child on our adventures.” He narrowed his eyes. “Also, Nit, this here is a male, not a female.”

“Pah!” Nittenook looked away. “Preposterous. I know a female cowman when I see one.”

“Nit, you didn’t know Meirah was a female draenei for a long time.”

Nittenook looked over at Nysian, then ‘pah’ed once more. “She was showoff. Tried too hard. Ample symptoms of male draenei. So easy to get confused.”

“Hm, not to everyone else, bud.” Nysian sighed.

Kegoc nodded, then looked up at Nittenook, letting the tauren crawl around. “Also, losin’ focus here. Point is, we’re headed t’ Highmountain t’ deal with this fast.”

Nittenook frowned. “Aw.”

Nysian walked forward. “Hold on, now. We must first go to Dalaran, and then we can go to Highmountain.”

“Th’ lad’s family is probably worried sick, Nysian.”

“And I accept that.” Nysian continued. “But we have a mission, do we not? We must get the tears of Elune t-...to...t-”

Nysian stopped, eyes focused away from Kegoc, his mouth shaking and gaped. Kegoc, blinking, turned his head around.

The three watched as the tauren held up the floating tear of Elune, giggling from the light it brought.

“.............wa-”

Kegoc was interrupted by the tauren taking a large bite into the precious Pillar of Creation, effortlessly chewing into the base. It began to shimmer from the solid shape from before into a liquid form, which the tauren greedily suckled fully into its mouth, much like a baby cow would do to its mother’s udder.

With a burp, the tauren giggled.

Nysian and Kegoc looked devastated.

Nittenook clapped his hands. “Good girl mancow!”

The tauren let out a happy cry of content as its form began to glow a blue, heavenly light. Slowly the tauren began to float into the air.

“...N...Nittenook, GRAB HIM!” Nysian cried out.

Nittenook, taken aback by the order, composed himself as he began to run forward. “Friends, it is okay! She is more powerful than ever thanks to our help!”

“Nittenook, just...gently grab him an’ put him on the ground. We need t’ get th’ Tear out a’ him...

“Just...Nittenook, just....” Nysian gritted his teeth, frustrated. The soft-spoken druid was never one to show his frustrations often, opting to let those around him do it for him.

“Look, I bet she is able to control her height!” Nittenook clapped. “Oh, is so nice to see magic child become adept a-”

“PUT HER ON THE GROUND, YOU...IDIOT.” Nysian shouted.

This caused the child to stop giggling, looking over at the druid with wide eyes. Nittenook, as well, looked over, a shocked expression on his face.

The child’s eyes narrowed as he let out a loud burp in the direction of the druid. This not only caused a small shaking of the ground around them, but it also caused the light around the baby to shine brighter. With a cry, the baby erupted in that light, shooting itself high into the air, faster than anything the trio had ever seen. With a shimmer, the baby seemed to shoot far to the west.

.........

“Great.” Nysian composed himself, moving his hand to his face with a grumble. “Just....great.”

Kegoc sighed, moving his hand over his gray beard. “Aye, grand.”

“Now I need to...find a child holding the power of creation....could feel faint...” Nysian began to walk away from the two.

Kegoc sighed, putting on his gloves and picking up his bag. “Right....come along, Nit.”

Nittenook watched as the two began to walk away. Kegoc stopped, however, looking behind him.

“...Nit?”

“...did...Nysian mean that?” Nittenook asked Kegoc, frowning.

“What, the....oh.” Kegoc grimaced, looking away for a moment. “Lad, it’s a bit...complicated at th’ moment.”

“...I see.”

“Come on, lad.” Kegoc motioned for the mage to follow him, as he began to walk behind the druid.

The mage, scratching the side of his beard, slowly began to follow.

And yet, unbeknownst to them, a shadowy figure loomed in the greenery above them. A wicked grin crept along the figure’s face.

"Well...that’s not something you see every day.”

TO BE CONTINUED.

[the-short-stouts-tavern]

The Invasion: Final (story)

Previous

“Another mage?”  Razelikh smirked at the new arrival, turning around to face them. “How quaint.”

The mage named Sareva stood in front of them, pointing her staff towards the demon. “This invasion is over. You will leave these...civilians alone.” Ouch.

“Hmph!” The dreadlord began to weave his hands around as magic formed around it. “And let us see you stop me.”

“Gladly.”

Razelikh muttered an incantation and brought out a blast of arcane energy towards the mage. However, the mage used a spell to propel her behind the dreadlord, casting a blast of arcane into the demon’s back. The demon cried out and attempted to slash his claws into the mage behind him, but she propelled herself once more behind him and blasted him once more.

“Ignorant...wench!” The dreadlord slashed again, this time connecting as the swipe dug deep into Sareva’s stomach. She recoiled in pain, holding her wound that was already beginning to spill blood down onto the snow. The dreadlord smiled.

The mage smiled, as well.

In a flash, the mage was gone. Another teleport spell? Was that a fake image of her?

No. This was...

His inner thoughts was brought to a stall as another blast smashed into the back of his head, causing him to almost topple over. He roared as he turned around. The mage was standing right where she was a few seconds before. The footprints on the snow were exact. It was time magic.

“Clever...you mages were always-“

Sareva interrupted him with a massive volley of arcane bolts flying into the dreadlord’s chest.

“Argh!” Razelikh growled as he stared at the mage. “Rude.”

“As I said...” Sareva pointed her staff at the demon. “This invasion is over.”

Sareva was low on mana.

She knew this. She wasted too much effort already ticking the demon off. All that blinking to and from and the dilation of time alone was exhausting enough, but she was already teeming with arcane energy. She’d exhaust herself if she kept going forward.

But she knew she had to bluff the demon to leave. If only those three weren’t...so out of shape and stupid!

She shot a look over at Kegoc in particular, but the entire trio slowly nursing their wounds was given her ire. The old fool has enough power in his arsenal to lead the paladins if he wanted to. And Nysian must still be willing to deepen his connection with nature in order to heal the world, right? He must.

And Nittenook...he’s really good at fire magic. He’s still not allowed in Dalaran’s Commerce district after what he did to the heavy shipment of Khadgar’s Whiskers.

The plant, not the beard. The man hasn’t had a beard in years.

If the three of them just tried and-

Her inner monologue was interrupted as a bolt of shadow magic slammed into her, flinging her over a few yards. She grit her teeth and brought her hand up, bringing another blast of energy into the demon.

This time, there was no effect.

She noticed an aura begin to emminate around the demon. It looked very similar to arcane energy, but it looked like...an arcane shield.

Damn. She’s got nothing for fire. And she left her water elemental in Dalaran, so no convenient way to use frost magic either.

“Foolish mage.” The dreadlord chuckled lightly. “This fight was over before it even began. You can’t stop us.” He brought his hand up and Sareva was wisked up into the air, struggling. “We are endless.” He shot a bolt into the floating mage’s side. Sareva coughed out blood, struggling to get free.

“We are Legion.”

With a flick of the wrist, he sent the mage plummeting to the group of three with a thud.

“Sareva!” Kegoc shouted.

Sareva coughed out again, her blood beginning to redden the snow she laid. She held her side, grimacing. “K-Kegoc...”

As she looked over, she saw that Nysian was gingerly poking a seed into the ground. Soon she felt a brushing of healing energy begin to caress her being. It was rudely interrupted by Nysian patting her side rather brutishly. “Pat pat.”

She knew it was his way of healing, and it works, but god she hated him for that.

Nittenook, meanwhile, was nowhere to be seen. However, she saw that there was what appeared to be a trail of something being dragged away and saw a draenei hoof hiding behind a giant tree. She would call him a coward, but she was always impressed by his ability to blend in and hide, and amazed at how slipshod his attempt was this time.

There’s no time to talk about Nittenook’s tree noises, however. She slowly turned her body to where the dreadlord stood. He was smiling.

Razelikh was just a little annoyed at this whole endeavor. He got manipulated to go to the damn dwarflands. He lost a doomguard so he’ll have to go find him in the Nether or pay a fine to get a new one. He got pelted with fire magic like a chump. He got pelted multiple times by arcane magic, which isn’t as burning as fire magic can be, but by Sargeras’s name does it sting. And he was being ridiculed by these mortals. Him! Razelikh! He may not have the same rank as someone like Lord Tichondrius, or even Varimathras before he messed it all up, but he’s still a nathrezim, dammit!

He moved his hand out towards the four fallen heroes and - hm, where’d the draenei go? No matter - and he began to mutter another incantation. A swarm of carrion insects slowly began to form around him. “I grow tired of this. It’s time for you all to die.”

The swarm shot forward towards the group, aiming to eat their prey in mere moments. It was always a little cathartic to watch th-

Before the swarm could even get to the group, they disintegrated in a flash of bright light. Standing before the fallen body of the mage was the dwarf.

“Hah. Still a little fight in you, little mortal?”

“Aye.”

Razelikh smirked at the unwarranted confidence and weaved his hands in front of him. “Then let me destroy any chance of hope you have.” He moved his hand out and a blast of shadow magic erupted from his hand, bigger than anything he’s cast today. When the enemy is confident like that, it’s always cathartic to send them into oblivion with but a whisper.

However, that was not what happened.

A bright light shone from Kegoc as he brought his shield forward. Despite the great power of the blast, the dwarf stood still. He felt another pat on the back from Nysian and felt another cooling feeling of healing energy. Can’t beat a druid’s healing power. A shaman in comparison makes you too wet.

The shadow energy dissipated and the shield was brought down. The dreadlord in front of him looked a little annoyed. That gave him some pleasure.

The dreadlord muttered something in his demonic language, then moved his hand out. “Very cute. Can you do that again, I wonder?”

Kegoc brought his shield up. “I could be doin’ this all day, demon.”

He really can’t, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

The dreadlord growled, clearly annoyed about this, and shot another blast. Kegoc used his shield once more to deflect the blast, but it was assuredly not going to keep working.

Behind him, Sareva slowly stood up and clutched her side. “Kegoc, give me a moment...I’ll...get us to safety.”

“Nay, lass.” Kegoc pointed his sword out towards the demon. “If I let th’ demon do what he wants tah my home...ta’ claim ownership, then I’ll never be able ta’ retire.”

The dreadlord laughed. “If you think I want to own this pathetic waste of space, that’s amusing. I’d rather watch this world crumble to pieces like so many planets before it.” He moved his hand out and smiled. “Now...I think you’re done. And I think I’m done, too.”

Kegoc brought his shield up again. He’ll keep defending his friends - and his tavern - until he’s burnt to a crisp if he has to.

The dreadlord began to weave his other hand again.

However, before he could cast any sort of spell, a small creature flew down to the ground in front of them. Kegoc could tell it was an imp.

The imp looked at the group, then cackled. “Razelikh, we must depart! Leave!”

The dreadlord stepped forward and grabbed the imp by the throat, bringing him up to his face. “And what are you to tell me what to do, little imp? Can you not see I am busy?”

The imp coughed, then smiled. “Harbinger Faraleth, she has fallen! Fallen! We must leave now or we’ll be overrun!”

The dreadlord stared at the imp for a moment, then sighed. “We really lost the dwarflands...” He let go of the imp as it fell to the ground. “To a bunch of dwarfs.”

The imp nodded. “Lot of elves, too! Lots of them!”

The dreadlord sighed, then shrugged. “Very well. You four are lucky.” He began to walk away.

Kegoc watched as the demon left. Sareva was smiling, no doubt happy to see the dreadlord leave.

“Yeah!” Kegoc grinned. “Go ahead an’ fly back ta’ yer hidin’ spot. Azeroth won’t be kneelin’ ta’ th’ likes ah you!”

The dreadlord stopped for a moment, then turned around, his eyes glowing. “You may have...”won” today, dwarf. But remember that victory always has its price.” He brought his hand out towards them, a green crystal forming inside of it.

Kegoc stepped forward in a panic, bringing his shield up to protect Sareva and his friends. “Aw...crap.”

The dreadlord smiled, then the crystal that was formed was flicked flying past the group.

It landed somewhere inside of the inn.

A spark shined inside, but nothing happened. Then, within a few seconds the entire building, stone and wood that it was, began to melt away until nothing was left but a crater.

The inn was gone. And with a chilling laugh, so was the dreadlord as he disappeared into thin air.

Kegoc blinked as he watched his tavern dissipate. “..A...AhhhhHH!” He ran towards the inn, shuffling around the ground. “W-where...where is...me inn?” He looked further, towards where the cellar was. “WHERE IS ME ALE?!”

He fell to the ground. For the first time in a long time, Sareva and Nysian saw a dwarf cry. And man is it not a pretty sight.

“Ah, is demon lord gone?” Nittenook stepped out of the shadow of the tree.

“Yes. No thanks to you.” Sareva stared at the draenei with annoyance. The draenei smiled.

“Ah, good! Then plan worked. He must have known I would be plotting next move against him!”

“Yes, good work, buddy.” Nysian nodded with a smile, much to Sareva’s disdain.

“So why is friend Kegoc crying?” Nittenook asked politely.

“Mm, we lost the tavern.”

“ME TAVERN!!!!”

Nittenook nodded once. “Mm. Mm. I am seeing this now. Too bad. Will miss quiet of that building. Nobody ever came. Was good for peace and quiet!”

“SHUT YER TRAP, NITTENOOK.” Kegoc yelled between sobs.

They gave Kegoc a few moments to grieve. It was more like 30 minutes of sobbing and an extra 15 minutes of quiet reflection.

Sareva was the first to speak up. “I’m sorry, Kegoc. If I was only a little more powerful, I would have-”

“No...lass.” Kegoc sighed. “Ye did fine.” He looked over at the other two. “Ye both did fine, too.”

“Well, of course.” Nysian smiled gently.

“I am good at disguise.” Nittenook nodded.

Kegoc looked over at the location where he inn once laid. For years upon years he wanted to own a tavern. He loved the idea of it, to be the one to hear the tales of adventures without having to do them himself anymore. He wasn’t old in terms of dwarf years, but he was getting up there now. He wanted to own a place where he could support the new generation with his own tales, and to hear their tales of success with cheer and to relax them with ale and cheer in times of failure. He always wanted to be that kind of person.

...

But the world can’t let him be that person yet.

“Sareva.” Kegoc looked over at the mage. “What is the situation?”

Sareva blinked, looking at Kegoc. “I...the Legion is invading various points on Azeroth. Dun Morogh was only one spot. The demons keep coming through and everyone is on high alert.” She looked at the three and nodded once. “And the plan is to move Dalaran to the Broken Isles.”

“The entire city?” Nittenook exclaimed. “But it would take forever to float it over there!”

“She means teleport.” Nysian stated plainly. “The Broken Isles, huh...”

“Ay-...yes.” Sareva nodded. Right now Dalaran is preparing the teleportation spell. That is why the Council wanted the high-ranking mages to bring everyone to Dalaran immediately.”

Kegoc looked over at the crater once more, then nodded. “An’ do ye think that...dreadlord will be there?”

Sareva looked at Kegoc once more, then shrugged. “All I know is, the Broken Isles are essentially a hot spot of demon activity right now. If he’s there, you’ll probably have to go through a few hundred demons to get to him.”

Kegoc smiled. “I think we can handle that, right lads?”

“Eh, sure.” Nysian shrugged again. “I have a few relatives on those Isles. Wouldn’t mind seeing them again.”

“And I will be there to help fight these demons!” Nittenook grinned. “Also to see Nysian’s relatives!”

“I...didn’t want to make that a reason to go.” Nysian sighed, then shrugged once more.

Sareva smiled at the trio, relieved.

Kegoc turned to Sareva, grinning. “So, lass. Let’s begin.”

Sareva nodded. “You three should go fly towards Karazhan. That is where Dalaran is positioned. I’ll meet you there.”

Kegoc nodded. “If yer okay with that. We’ll see ye there, then. Come on, lads!”

Kegoc and Nittenook got on their mounts and began to run off, while Nysian shapeshifted into a bird and flew off behind him.

Sareva conjured up a biscuit and took a bite, feeling her magic energy begin to regenerate. She walked to the rubble and saw a glint of crystal nestled in the ground. She gingerly picked it up, looked around, then sealed the crystal in a bubble, nestling it in her satchel. “If this is what I think it is...probably shouldn’t show Kegoc just yet.” She nodded to herself. “He needs to keep fighting.”

She sighed, looking at the torn cloth and healing bruise on her side.

“We all do.”

The Invasion: End

Thanks for reading. Keep looking for the continuing adventures of Kegoc, Nysian, and Nittenook as they travel to the Broken Isles, as well as other characters!

[the-short-stouts-tavern]

The Invasion: Part Three (story)

Previous

Days ago...

Upon a floating remnant of another world, an imposing demon stood overlooking the devastation. It’s not clear how long it had been since it happened, but it was surely his master that did it. And now, preparations are beginning to finally take over the planet that stood so brazenly against them all those years ago. The year they killed Lord Archimonde before he got better. The spit in the face against Lord Sargeras. All for an insignificant speck of dust.

“Tell me, Razelikh. What do you make of our plans?”

The demon lowered his wing and looked behind him, then smiled coyly. “Did you come here simply to talk of plans, girl?”

Before him, another demon stood. Though not as tall as he was, she was certainly more noticeable. Her shapely body was only barely hidden by a leather bodice and the bottoms that could barely be called bottom. Neither could she. The two demons, though different in race and sex, still kept similar features such as their wings on their back and horns on their head. Though the male dreadlord’s face was imposing, the female succubi’s was, in a word, inviting.

Her lips curled into a smile. “Why, Raz...whatever are you implying?”

Razelikh turned back from her view. “That you simply wanted to revel in what we would do to them.” He moved his giant hand out to the sky, towards a piece of rock floating in space, then sent a blast of magic into the cracks of it, crushing it from within.

“Mmm....well, that’s one benefit.” The female walked forward, bringing her fingers coolly over the dreadlord’s wing. “But maybe I just wanted to talk with you.”

“Hmph.” The dreadlord shifted his wing away and turned towards the succubus, moving his finger up to her chin. “If that was the case, we would have done that long ago, Merkabah.”

“Hmhmhm...” She smiled. “You know me well.” She moved her face closer to the dreadlord’s ear, having to move her hooves to the equivalent of a tiptoe. Then, she gave a hot breath to Raz’s ear and whispered seductively.

“’Go to the dwarf land instead of me’, she said. ‘I hate dwarves, they smell like bad alcohol and cheese’, she said. ‘A few years back I was summoned by a gnome warlock and I don’t want to see her, it would be

awkward

, so please let me go to the farmland instead’, she said.”

Razelikh stood in the middle of an out-of-reach snowy landscape of Dun Morogh, his arms folded across his chest. He muttered slowly. “Can’t believe I degraded myself to dwarven affairs. Oh sure, a little coaxing in Ironforge brought some benefits, like halting any boats from the harbor up north or providing the imps some cheese.” He moved his hand to a satchel on his belt and took out a piece of cheese, tossing a bit into his mouth. “Hmph. The carnal delights of mortals are fairly inconsequential to us, but this cheese is very well-done.”

The dreadlord shifted slightly. Utter boredom was not becoming of the Nathrezim. He was glad that the only one who could see him is the doomguard Nazregum that he was accompanied with.

On that, he looked around. Where is Nazregum? He specifically requested that he stay nearby. The giant oaf probably didn’t want to take orders that weren’t specifically given to him by his pit lord master. Damn hothead. Probably need to find him and remind him of-

His thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a hot flash of fire erupting on his back. He stepped forward, grimacing. “Geh...that hurt...”

He slowly turned around and saw what appeared to be a small dwarf, an elf, and an...eredar?

Oh, no. No, wait, it’s probably a draenei.

He stepped forward, smirking. “Well, well. Like moths to the flame.”

The draenei chimed in. “Ah, but see, was flame that was brought to moth! Was just a ploy.”

“Nittenook, shut yer trap!” The dwarf spat out at the draenei before turning back to the dreadlord. “An’ you! You come ta my home ta rule it...thinkin’ we would let ya! I won’t allow it!”

"Yes, yes, Mr. Hero.” Razelikh slightly unfolded his wings and smiled, playing the menacing part brilliantly as always. He continued in a boisterous manner. “I am here to rule this snowy dirt clod in your pathetic speck of a planet. For ages long past yours, I will stand tall upon that mountain guiding armies to the cosmos and beyond! I will be forever known as Razelikh, Very-Small-Mountain King of the Cosmos!”

After a moment of silence, the elf chimed in. “You know, when you say it like that, it sounds like you’re mocking him.”

“Nysian! Shut yer trap, too!”

“Hahahaha...” The dreadlord slowly began to walk forward, his smile never fading. That is, until he looked over and saw the burning corpse of the doomguard. 

After a moment, he looked back at the trio, his smile lowering to a frown. “You...did that?”

“Uh...no?” The elf looked over to the doomguard, then at Nittenook, and then sighed. “Yes.”

“Of course!” The draenei grinned. “And it will be done to you, demon!”

“Aye!” The dwarf stepped forward, gritting his teeth. “The mountains will sing a choir of joy as they come to the inn of the one who destroyed the demon overlord of this invasion! Boys...ATTACK!”

The dwarf and draenei ran forward, a giant pair of angelic wings forming on the back of the little dwarf and scorching fire in each of the draenei’s hands. The elf, visibly rolling his eyes, also began to charge as he sent a spell onto the two running before him.

Razelikh smirked. Before the three could react, he smacked his fist into the dwarf’s head, then grabbed his full body by the legs, lifting him up, and smashed him down onto the head of the draenei. With the two of them barely able to register the pain they were in, he began to drop the dwarf to the ground. However, before the dwarf could land, he swooped him and the draenei into his one hand and, with a windup, spun and tossed the two into the body of the elf, bringing them crashing through several trees and into a heap next to the inn.

“I appreciate you thinking I was the overlord, though!” Razelikh shouted to them. “That was very nice to say.” His hand began to erupt in flames, but the sickly green hue was much different from the fire the draenei was tossing out.

The three ‘heroes’ didn’t seem to want to move. Probably couldn’t.

With a grin, the dreadlord stretched his arm out and sent the gigantic fireball towards the fallen attackers that dared to try and strike-

Before the fireball was struck, a violent explosion of energy erupted, causing the flames to be misdirected into the hills nearby. Razelikh turned to watch the fire scorch the trees on that hill into ash in mere seconds. That was...arcane magic. Was the draenei the one responsible?

In front of the trio, a new figure stood. Surrounded by a chilling mana shield, with a staff held in front, was a mage. Her face was covered by a cowl, and her purple robe was adorned with various golden frills and seams. He knew from experience that this meant a mage of relatively high stature. The mages were always the problem in the end.

The dwarf coughed and moved up, holding his hand onto his head. These dwarves are hardy ones. He seemed to grunt out something from his bloodied mouth.

“Sareva. No...”

The mage smirked. “Stand back, Kegoc. I’ll handle it.”

TO BE CONCLUDED

Next

[the-short-stouts-tavern]

The Invasion: Part Two (story)

Previous

Pitiful mortals! Our Master deems this world as his. He WILL have it. Everything.

The doomguard smirked as he sliced his hand into the air in a show of aggression, waiting for the next fool to come out of that door fully.

“By the Naaru! Are you hurt, Kegoc?” Nittenook yelled from the doorway.

“Urrrrrreeeerrgh...” Spoke the broken dwarf lying face-first in the fresh-laid snow.

“I believe that was a ‘yes’, Nit.” Nysian said with a squint in his eyes. “I’ll go help him. Care to distract the big guy for me?”

“Hah! Distractions are great skill for ol’ Nittenook.” the mage spoke, his hand bursting with an unquenchable flame which didn’t seem to burn his gloves. “And other skill is good foresight.”

However, both ‘heroes’ were stopped by the familiar, holding its massive arms up to block the doorway.

“Wait. Nittenook, are you crazy?”

“Many times heard this before. Should let fire do crazy instead.” Nittenook didn’t seem like standing down, nor did he seem like making sense.

“You can’t face a doomguard on your own. Neither of you.”

“Pssh.” Nysian waved his hand in the air, waving his staff around with the other. “My gran-pop told me about the doomguards back during the War of the Ancients. Said they’re pretty much the ‘drunk hunters’ of demonic menace. Loud and boisterous, but ultimately worthless at their job.” His shining eyes narrowed. “Granted, even a drunk hunter hits the target once or twice. Might not be a great idea to face it at a disadvant-”

The druid was cut off by a bright orange flame flying past him and the familiar right into the doomguard’s face. The doomguard recoiled, then let out a vicious, disgusting roar towards them.

“Mmf....was that necessary?” Nysian looked over at Nittenook, one hand nestling a finger into his long ear.

“It slipped.” Nittenook was looking down at the floor.

“Dammit. You two get to Kegoc and stay alive. I’ll be right there.” The familiar began to dissipate into thin air, leaving nothing but a faint mark on the ground.

The doomguard slowly began to walk towards the inn’s doorway, gnawing its teeth down. “You will not live to see the master’s flames!” It spoke between its teeth, hellfire beginning to rain down, streams of fire slowly falling towards the inn.

“Let’s split up. I’ll go to Kegoc,” Nysian pointed towards Kegoc’s location, then pointed towards the doomguard. “You go over there.”

“That is a roger!” Nittenook’s hands began to burn with fire once more, running towards the demon. He then took a sudden stop, a few feet away from the demon. “Wait, this was bad idea.”

The doomgaurd raised its hand up and was about to slash the poor draenei’s body into pieces. As it sliced, it suddenly felt a cold sensation as the mage was encased in a gigantic block of ice right before being struck. Though the mage was safe from the strike, he was sent back within his icy guard a few yards away, landing safely in a tree.

Nysian took the opportunity to run to Kegoc’s side. “Please, please don’t be dead yet.”

“ Urrrrrreeereeeragh...”

“Oh, for the love of...yes, the tavern’s safe.”

“Urrreerrrgh...” Kegoc seemed to be relieved. Then he continued. “Urrrrargh.?”

“Yes, we’re fine, too, thanks.” Nysian spoke as the doomguard tossed the iceblocked mage from one tree right into another. “For the most part, anyway. Now hang on, let me help you.”

The druid moved his hands over the dwarf’s body, whispering in a hushed voice. Slowly the ground around Kegoc began to sprout tiny flowers from beneath the snowy ground, glowing with a shining green hue. The flowers seemed to dance in tandum to Nysian’s whispers, flowing that energy into the dwarf’s body. Soon, the whispers stopped as the dwarf slowly rose from the ground.

“Urgh...me head...” Kegoc held his balding head to nurse it, a bit of light flowing from his hand to continue the healing process. “Thank ye, Nysian.”

“Oh, don’t mention it, it was my pleasure, we should probably help Nittenook before he’s torn to shreds.” Nysian waved his hand towards the mage who had finally broken out of his ice block and was now running away from the behemoth behind him.

“Hmph.” Kegoc stood up, grabbing his sword and shield from where they were knocked aside, then looking towards the doomguard. “OY, YE BIG ORANGE GIT. CARE TA TAKE ON YER NEXT WORST NIGHTMARE?” The paladin rose his sword up and pointed it at the monster.

The doomguard looked down at the dwarf and smiled. “ What a joke. To be sent to this backwater planet and have you fools be my first opponent. It’s sickening how easy this will be.”

“Oh, aye, y’kin think that.” The dwarf rose his shield up. “But ye made a fatal mistake. Thinkin’ we’d let ye destroy me tavern!”

Nysian shrugged, then smiled. “Sure, let’s go with that.” He began to cast a spell and caused a beam of moonlight to strike the doomguard in the eye.

“GAAAAAAGH.” The doomguard started to run towards the druid, sending his fist down towards him. He was always amused by the gurgling sound of a face punched off, but all that he heard now was a great loud metal thud.

Kegoc held his shield high, blocking a good amount of the damage and staying resolute on the ground, sending a hammer of light down onto the doomguard’s face.

“GAAAH. WHY ARE YOU PUNY THINGS HITTING ME IN THE FACE?” The demon cried out, the moonlit sparkles and residue from the hammer shining in his eyes.

“Ta make th’ target easier. NOW, NIT!” Kegoc yelled.

“Yes indeed!” Nittenook smacked one hand into his chest, bringing a large amount of fire magic into his body, flowing through his veins. He moved his other hand out and yelled out. “DRAGON’S BREATH” And with that, a great mass of fire formed up from his hand, slowly forming the form of a dragon, its mouth pooling with great flames as it brought a great mass of flame into the demon’s face. A torrent of this flame continued to fly through it, as the demon’s screams began to change to gurgling. To Nysian and Kegoc, the form of the demon’s head was slowly disintegrating, until nothing but a skull remained. As the dragon dissipated in the air and the flames died down, the doomguard’s headless corpse fell to the ground.

Nittenook stood there, one hand still flaming as he struggled to catch his breath. “Eh...eh...ehhhh....that was...glorious!”

Nysian walked over, casting a spell over the mage to give him some needed energy back. “Well done, Nit. Couldn’t have done it better. Or at all.”

Kegoc smiled, patting the draenei on the side where he could reach. “Great work, lad!”

“Heh...I am glad...we are all safe, friends!” Nittenook smiled. After a moment, Nittenook looked at his hand, still burning hot with mighty flame. “Hrm...”

Kegoc began to look around, frowning. He knew from experience that a demon is rarely alone. If a doomguard was around, it was sure to have some followers around. Even a few wayward imps getting away from them would be a disaster if more had...

...hm?

Kegoc was suddenly startled and moved to a large tree, waving over to his friends. Nysian looked over and saw the dwarf, amused at how easy it is to hide such a small thing. Slowly he walked over. “Whatever is it, Keg-”

“Shhhhhhhut up, Nysian.” Kegoc said in a hushed whisper. He thumbed over to the side of the tree. Nysian peaked from the tree to look.

There, facing away from the two, was a winged demon of much the same size as the doomguard, but its wings were much more elegantly designed. They almost looked like bat wings. From what he could see, the face was pointed and sinister-looking with beady eyes, but no one would care about those features before seeing the giant horns ingrained into its head.

“Oh, no.” Nysian frowned and spoke in a whisper. “A dreadlord. The ‘pickup artist that doesn’t take no for an answer’ of demons.”

“One of th’ highest-ranking demons in th’ Burning Legion.” the paladin gulped. Kegoc was well aware of these creatures. Known for their great power but their preference to destroy the worlds they visit through manipulation, the dreadlords he knows of have been involved with a great many evil things such as the corruption of the Prince of Lordearon and the ultimate cause of the Scarlet Crusade’s dark history. And so many other problems, to be sure.

“Let’s not get hasty. He may just be a new recruit. Maybe a low-level dreadlord.” Nysian said, his indifferent attitude giving way to a sound of worry.

Kegoc was looking around, frowning. “Dammit, if th’ blasted Legion is actually invadin’, then where is everyone? I know th’ dwarves o’ Kharanos would be fightin’ them right now if that were th’ case.”

Nysian grimaced. “I think I know the answer to that.”

“...I don’t wanna hear what yer thinkin’.” Kegoc whispered, annoyance in his voice. “It was th’ cheapest location I could buy.”

“This probably isn’t the time to say, but these mountains have no road to Ironforge. Or anywhere.” Nysian said, also with a whisper. “I figure you’d have known that.”

“I did.” Kegoc whispered right back. “But again, th’ cheapest location I could buy.”

“I don’t deny that.” Nysian whispered once more, then peaked to the side of the tree. Surprisingly, the dreadlord was still standing there. He looked like he was looking at a scroll of some kind. “Hm...he’s not moving...”

“It’s alright, then.” Kegoc nodded. “All we need t’ do is go ta th’ tavern, get me hearthstone, go t’ Ironforge an’ get reinforcements so-”

Kegoc was interrupted by a large fireball flying right past them, landing square in the dreadlord’s back. The dreadlord slightly moved forward, then slowly turned its body towards them.

Kegoc and Nysian looked at the demon, eyes wide, then at each other, and then to their back. Nittenook was holding his hand and waving it aside. “Whew. Hot Streak waited long time. Felt like good pyroblast from fingertips that time. Today is good day.” He smiled and looked at the two. He expected the wide eyes and gaping mouth from his good friend Kegoc, who was prone to overreacting, but to see them from his good friend Nysian as well gave him pause.

“...what?”

TO BE CONTINUED

Next

[the-short-stouts-tavern]

The Invasion (story)

Citizens of Azeroth! Today, our world has fallen under a dark cloud. The Burning Legion has returned and aims to destroy all that we hold dear. Now is the time for our brethren to RISE UP and turn the tide against this grave threat.

“Get out.”

The Short Stouts Tavern was visited by a bulbous creature of arcane energy, covering quite a few precious inches of space in the building. The creature looked down at the dwarf with an indifferent expression.

Soon, a voice began to permeate through the creature. “That is no way to treat a friend....’s familiar.”

The dwarf huffed. “If yer considered a friend, I think ya’d be here.”

The familiar shimmered in energy as the voice spoke. “You know I’m busy.”

“Yeah, yeah. I heard what happened. The Shore were a disaster an’ the mages must congregate back ta Dalaran posthaste. Same wit’ ta Iron Horde. Same wit’ ta cataclysm.”

A voice chimed in from the other side of the tavern. “I think you guys had to do it when the pandas popped up in the city.”

The familiar turned and looked towards the source of the voice. Sitting in the corner was a night elf, covered head to shoulders in an embellished assortment of leaves and flowers. He was tinkering with a small potted plant, attaching some sort of metal piece to it. “I don’t want to talk about that, Nysian. It was a hectic time inviting those new mages into our ranks. The Lounge was out of food for weeks...” It was amazing how the familiar was perfectly capable of letting them hear its master’s muttering.

The familiar turned back towards the dwarf. “Regardless, Kegoc, you must understand our situation better than anyone. I know of your past with demons and it would be valuable-”

“I know demons, yea’.” The dwarf turned around and walked to his bar, patting the table. “But I’m retired, Sareva. I finally got what I wanted, an’ th’ younger paladins will handle it better then I.”

The mage named Savera continued speaking through the familiar. “The Legion wishes to end all life on Azeroth, Kegoc. They won’t stop at your tavern hoping for a drink to calm their demonic nature.”

“That is true! Demon nature is not calmed by drink.” Another voice, heavily accented, chimed up from the other side of the room. The arcane familiar turned around towards the voice, showing just a little bit of hesitation. Sitting at his own table was a draenei, in a very unassuming robe, sharpening a small skinning knife.

“Nittenook.”

“Yes!” The draenei smiled at the familiar, the tentacles on his face slightly dancing at the mention of his name. “Anyway, uncle from Exodar was drinker. Went away and came back one day as red demon. Or maybe extremely bad tan. Regardless, he was shot dead by guards. Drink not good calmer of demon anger.”

“...yes.” The familiar slowly turned away from the draenei, staring at the dwarf once more. “As you can see, if even Nittenook understands the situation is dire-”

“Nit’ thinks it were dire when a ram away from th’ farmstead was staring in his eyes. I think he said he lost an uncle ta that too!”

Nittenook looked down, his voice quivering. “Uncle Izil was good man. Talbuk was merciless against his fragile face.”

“We still have to pay the lady Amberstill for the ram.” Nysian said, his focus still on the tree on his table. He looked over to Nittenook. “The steak was good that night, though.”

“Oh, it was delicious!”

The familiar quaked slightly. Nysian shrugged, knowing what the mage’s face was showing without even seeing her, and continued his work.

Kegoc walked over to his bar and sat down, looking over at the familiar. “My point is, a single invasion. It won’t be anything too horrible because there are people out there like you guidin’ them ta victory.”

“Your confidence in me is highly deserved, but please continue shirking responsibility.” If the familiar could only display sarcasm.

“Shirkin’? Come on, lass! I got me a tavern ta keep!”

The familiar stared at the dwarf for a moment. It then slowly began to spin around the room. Aside from the two accompanying the dwarf, the room was empty. Chairs were on the table, a light sheet of dust covering each chair’s underside. The hearth was the only visible light source in the tavern, with the downstairs and upstairs both dark. The only thing that wasn’t actually covered in dust were the two corners the night elf and draenei were situated, the bar where Kegoc was seated, and the glasses behind the bar. Even the kegs holding the beer had only been moved once or twice, and in a dwarven country this would most likely be considered a crime. It slowly finished its rotation and stared at a very perturbed dwarf.

“You’re keeping it well.”

“Oh sod off, ya high n’ mighty mage! I don’t need yer tone. I’m old!” Kegoc pounded his fist into the bar lightly. “And so what if this place don’t get much in terms o’ traffic! I jes’ need ta wait fer Brewfest an’ I’ll be rollin’ in gold!”

“Mm.” The familiar continued to look around the tavern.

“If ye wanna actually judge me tavern, y’kin do it in person.” The dwarf didn’t look very happy now.

“As I said, I have duties to attend to. Khadgar wanted all the mages to telegraph the urgency to retired heroes of the Alliance and Horde, and I had to bring out my familiars to-”

“...Familiars? Plural? Do ye mean ta tell me ya didn’t even bring a unique single one to tell me this?”

“...let’s change the subject.”

“...let’s change the subject.”

A goblin stared dumbfound at the familiar in front of him. “What are you even talking about, lady? I’m keeping things well, so what?? Do you want something?”

The familiar went silent, then began to spin around again.

“Oh, come on, if you’re not going to be clear on what you’re here for, then I-”

The familiar began to speak again. “If you’re just hiding, I’ll agree to lend you money to pay for the dead ram.”

The goblin blinked once, then gave an innocent smile. “....ehhh, I don’t recall a dead ram...but I totally need to pay them back, you’re right.” 

“If you’re just hiding, I’ll agree to lend you money to pay for the dead ram.”

Nittenook jumped up, grinning. “I am 100% on board with that!”

Nysian also jumped up, for no reason. “So am I, if only to be part of something!”

“No, no, no!” Kegoc shook his head, “I”m not worried about th’ ram! I jes’ don’t want ta be involved!”

“This is no time to sit idle and let the Legion destroy everything we hold dear. You must-”

“Savera.” Kegoc was getting upset, but he slowly regained his composure and sighed. “I’ve been at this fer a long time. I was in th’ Second an’ Third Wars. I was a paladin of th’ Silver Hand until that fell apart. I was one of th’ first to ride to Northrend ta take down Arthas after he attacked Stormwind. I was in th’ blasted park on th’ day Deathwing came!”

“Ah, that was not good day.” Nittenook shook his head.

“Only good trees in that city, gone.” Nysian sighed. “Oh, and we almost died.”

“An’ after that, th’ Pandaria campaign and th’ seizing of Orgrimmar. An’ we lost a year tryin’ ta enter Draenor an’ ended up in some weird ocean!”

“That, wasn’t a great time either.” Nysian sighed. “So much labor on that ship. And so cramped”

“Cramped up on ship wasn’t so bad. You learn to deal after while.” Nittenook nodded sagely.

Kegoc continued despite being interrupted twice. “So forgive me fer thinkin’ maybe I could deserve a little rest. If th’ Legion comes ta me door, then I’ll go out fightin’. But I don’t want to leave fer any islands.”

The familiar looked at the dwarf for a moment, silent. Then, the familiar turned around, slowly hovering towards the door. “So be it. I wish you and your friends the best on-”

Rumble.

Rumble.

The tavern suddenly began to shake. One thud was close enough that a few glass pints fell to the ground. The three patrons and the familiar looked up to the ceiling.

“Hm. Probably jes’ another...gnome machine falling from th’ sky.” Kegoc coughed, hopping down from his stool and walking over to his closet. “Don’t....don’t worry, lads.” He took out a sword and shield, placing both on his back as he began walking to the entrance.

“Kegoc, I don’t think that was a machine.” The familiar was perfectly capable of showing concern in the mage’s voice.

“Yes. Gnome machine louder with more oomph than that.”

“Eheh.” Kegoc slowly opened the door and walked out into the snowy mountainside where the tavern was located. He looked to the left. Then to the right. Then he looked over to the inside of the inn. “See? T’weren’t nothin’ out here-”

It was then that a doomguard flew in from above and punched Kegoc right in the face, causing the little dwarf to fly 20 yards away into a tree.

TO BE CONTINUED

Next