#nish recs : anime

[nishloves]

jelly; yuji itadori (jujutsu kaisen)

yuji itadori (jujutsu kaisen) x f! reader // fluff oneshot //

words : 1.5k // masterlist

requested by @feat-sun

hey there sunny! i sincerely hope this is upto your expectations and that you like this little oneshot which I wrote (I'm sorry that it's rather short) yuji is such a walking green flag and it was so fun to write him 😭🩷 also let's pretend that sukuna is prolly hibernating inside yuji's brain (coz i didn't know how to add his snarky remarks in the fic 🥲) also, hope it's to your liking <3

"yuji~" a small pout graced your features as you laid your head on yuji's shoulder while he gamed, too oblivious to your pout and desperation.

you just wanted cuddles and he wasn't giving you any, you understood he couldn't just turn the game off and spoil you and you didn't want to seem like someone who would deprive her boyfriend of games but you were feeling clingy and yuji not paying attention to you did slightly hurt a little.

"yuji," you reluctantly whispered in his ears as your boyfriend just hummed, "y/n, give me like fifteen minutes please, todo and I are nearly going to wipe this round off!" he announced, burying himself deeper in his video game as you pulled away from him.

you could vaguely hear todo's voice asking yuji if he can still play the round and your boyfriend immediately said a yes with so much hype that it almost made your pouty mood foul.

you realised you weren't gonna get any attention from him, so you switched to the next best thing, megumi.

you got up from your boyfriend's side and went over to megumi's room, who looked at you lazily and allowed you to come in.

"itadori annoyed you?" megumi asked as he passed you a can of coke which you happily took.

"precisely. i don't really think it's his fault though, maybe I'm just being clingy and desperate," you groaned, sipping your drink as you settled yourself on fushiguro's bed who scowled at you as he had just made his bed.

"it's not bad to want your partner's attention," megumi muttered.

"but atleast lay down like a person, not an animal," he smacked your leg as he sat on his bed's edge, thinking about how to retain his peace back and help you without offending you.

"not my fault that you're grumpy, grandpa," you muttered, nudging fushiguro with your toe as he sighed in exasperation.

and then something clicked in his brain,

"hey, you had a crush on inumaki, right?"

"mhm yes."

"how did you go from inumaki to itadori is beyond me, but why don't you hang out with him?"

"inumaki?" you asked, your eyebrows quirking up.

"yeah, you used to like him so maybe you won't leech off attention from him," he rolled his eyes as a grin embarked on your face.

maybe megumi didn't mean that it will help making yuji jealous but that's what you thought.

you suddenly got up from his bed and left the can on his bedside as megumi called after you, while you just grinned in his direction and saluted him before taking your leave.

"did i accidentally do something?" megumi whispered to him himself as he smacked his head on the bed.

you rushed towards inumaki's room, a small smile on your face as you knocked on his door.

"good morning inumaki!" you greeted as inumaki's eyes turned into crescents on your arrival.

"kelp." (greetings)

"well, yuji is busy, so i was just wondering if you would you know... like to go to the market with me? i was thinking to buy some clothes and accessories," you said, a bashful smile on your face.

"tuna mayo?" (me?)

"yes!"

"tuna tuna" (do you really trust my skills?)

"i do, and it will be more fun if I have someone with me, so please?" you asked, trying your best to seem convincing as inumaki sighed, a small smile evident on his face as he replied, "salmon." (okay)

as much as fun you were having with inumaki, it was better posting every picture you took with him on social media; a picture where you both are grinning next to each other, another where you dressed inumaki up with jewelries and a girlish hat, another where you both hid your faces beneath ridiculous masks and another which you took next to beach and the best of all, you captioned the post with "a platonic date" and inumaki commented with red hearts on it.

now amidst the outing, inumaki had himself understood the meaning behind your actions, but you were really so sweet to be around that he didn't say anything, well why should he when he was having so much fun too?

"thankyou so much, leaving my intentions aside, i really did enjoy the outing," you grinned at inumaki as he smiled at you slightly. his eyes looked away from yours to the scenery as he said, "oh salmon cod roe." (hey look here)

you whipped your head around to where inumaki was pointing and it was the prettiest sunset you had seen, pinkish sky with hues of blue still lingering, clouds framed the sun as slight wind blew on the beach, you grinned and clicked a picture of it, and then a picture of inumaki with the sunset, and then posted it too.

"salmon tuna mayo kelp roe cod," (you're really going after yuji, aren't you? even he will get jealous of that.)

"I am," you affirmed as you chuckled, a small smile on your face as you found yourself lucky for having such great friends.

"thankyou so much."

"mustard leaf." (it's okay)

now when you had returned, maki had called inumaki over for some second year discussion and your eyes fell upon megumi and then on yuji who was talking to gojo behind megumi.

another wild thought crept up to your mind as you rushed towards megumi to give him a giant bear hug almost making the poor guy fall, but as cold as megumi was he was still very tolerant of you and he still reciprocated the hug.

you could feel yuji's eyes boring into you and you could see gojo's lips quirking up as he understood just what was going on.

"thanks for the drink today megumi," you gushed as fushiguro slightly patted your head.

as soon as you pulled away from megumi you eyes landed on another pair of kind brown ones, his face contorted in a frown as he looked away from you, you giggled as gojo whistled, "I think there's some talking due here so~"

he pulled both you and itadori together as yuji whined for being dragged.

"nu-uh you both are gonna talk and we," he pointed towards himself and megumi, "are gonna leave."

he pushed you both in a room and closed the doors (he didn't lock them) as yuji groaned and looked at you, "what was that for y/n?" he asked, a pout etching it's way on his face again as a small smile quirked up on your lips.

"what do you mean, yuji?"

"baby~" he whined, looking away from you, "you know what I mean..." he fiddled with his fingers as he looked down at the floor, "you know... you going on a date with inumaki..."

"but that didn't mean anything," your heartstrings pulled at you as despite your plan you rushed towards him, your hands snaking around his waist as you rested your cheek on his back.

"i don't know, you both looked pretty happy, and you were gone for practically the whole day," yuji murmured, his hands coming to rest on yours as he leaned his head back on yours.

"yuji," you laughed at his whines as his pouts became more prominent and he pulled you in front of him from his back, your eyes widened slightly as you momentarily stopped laughing from the pleasant shock.

yuji's hand rested on your shoulders as his eyebrows were furrowed, you don't think you have seen him look this adorable before.

"you shouldn't laugh on that!" he whined, a deeper frown on his face as his eyes sincerely looked sad. "i came to find you in fushiguro's room and then he told me that you were out with inumaki, you didn't even inform me by yourself."

your smile dwindled as you lean forward, letting your lips rest on his as you kissed him softly, you could feel yuji's hold relax on you as he pulled you in a hug, pulling you closer to him.

"sorry for making you feel bad, yuji."

you both pulled away as your noses still touched, both of you red with slight embarrassment and proximity, and both immediately realising that you just had your first kiss with itadori!

"sorry for ignoring you earlier, baby," he muttered against your lips as he looked at your eyes for any signs of discomfort from the kiss, but all he saw was your radiant and bashful smile as his heart started beating miles faster.

"y/n, baby..." he murmured as you hummed cooly, "yes?" his hands rested on your waist as he leaned his forehead to touch yours, his ears red as he still looked into your eyes.

"can i kiss you again?"

you grinned, rubbing your noses together you said, "yes."

[nishloves]

i love him ❤️

Cowboy gojo keeps me alive pls lemme ride it cowgirl style

Artist: thatsallitchief on Instagram

[nishloves]

bokuto is... quiet when he's in love. he looks at you, looks at the way your hair tresses your face, the way the sun glistens against your skin and that little wrinkle you get whenever you smile too hard.

bokuto is quiet when he's thinking about you; about you holding his hand, about the way you entertain every mood of his, about the way you don't seem to judge him if he does something dumb, you make him want to be better.

bokuto is quiet whenever he even faintly hears your name slip past anyone's lips; he can't help but think back on you, think on how sweet your name sounds on literally anyone's lips; but he would rather chant your name than let others speak it more than him.

bokuto is quiet when you're talking, he knows that he rambles on, he knows that he can't stop speaking but in front of you— he doesn't need to speak. he wants to watch you, watch you doing everything, watch you ramble on and on about any weird antic or interest you have. he will hear it all, even if he doesn't understand it because...

bokuto is hopelessly in love with you.

[nishloves]

unsurity (tartaglia)

words : 1.4k // childe x reader // fluff, narrative

you were always sure that tartaglia wouldn't notice you at all; he valued strength before anything and you weren't strong— at least not stronger than him— not strong enough to be even called an "outstanding" paladin. but the day he saw you defeat a bunch of fatui agents in chess and soon got defeated himself when he challenged you, you saw a switch flip in his eyes.

you were sure that you won't get any special attention from the harbinger; he always knew that you were a capable agent but you weren't anything worthy of his attention— after all, you were just a normal but clever agent; slowly but surely climbing up your ranks in fatui. but soon, he started to observe just how easy it is for you to learn even the most complex of plans, understand nexus of convoluted theories and researches and how easy it is for you, to put those said plans in action, even leading when required to.

you were sure that childe was a man who valued strength above all; yes, he was a straightforward, serpentine and a loyal man, but under that mask of friendly-outgoing man, was a war hungry lunatic, who swore his life to the tsaritsa, who survived on the lone adrenaline of battles and mysteries to be unfolded, a brute living with lust for bloodshed, it was hard to surprise him but— for him, you were a sweet enigma, a cerulean bead sewn with green ones.

you were sure that the ginger-haired male always knew more than he let on; he was a man of many talents after-all; may it be his negotiating prowess, diplomatic nature or simply his strength— you always assumed it impossible to surpass him. but one day, when you were left in charge on account of his absence and were still able to pull off the best deal (which even he might've had problem to get), the male was sure that there's obviously more to you than what met the eyes.

you were sure that the eleventh always assumed for people to bow to him— to be scared of him, like hello, as if he's not one of the most dangerous persons in the world— but, the day you sheepishly admitted that answering to the eleventh harbinger made you quite nervous, his eyes were wide with shock. the sole harbinger who was never known to exploit his sub-ordinates, if he could, he certainly became even kinder to them— rather than tripling their training in case of mistakes, he only doubled them now. well, it was still better than the way the other harbingers disposed of the weak links to their dungeons or simply put up their 'wanted' posters.

you were sure that a fighter like "lumine" would be the one to catch his eyes— she might just be a bit above average with her brains, but her brawns, connections and integrity compensated for everything else— you wondered if she was even stronger than the harbingers— which didn't seem too far-fetched a theory, she was an outlander after all. but she also hated the fatui, without caring about about their end goal; there were evil people everywhere, no? so why would she hold prejudice against every fatui member? you wondered just why it was hard for lumine to grasp that fact— yet, you chose not to say anything, you weren't in her shoes.

you were sure that your leader was head over heels for the traveller, calling anyone "comrade" was probably the highest honor he could present to anyone. you chuckled as you witnessed one or two of their ministerings, panicking slightly as you found his eyes catch yours as you watched them but you simply bowed and left, you sincerely wished for him to stay happy.

all talents are recognized by the tsaritsa and she certainly didn't let your talent go to waste, soon you climbed up the ranks to become an official diplomat from the nation of snezhnaya, you weren't just an agent anymore. your position didn't surpass that of harbingers but, you certainly didn't need to work under them anymore- you were also shocked to know that a few harbingers- la signora, the doctor and marionette had themselves vouched for your promotion. it scared you to the core, you weren't under childe's protection now- you were free, independent- but shackled enough for other harbingers to use you as a puppet for their missions- and you wouldn't have enough authority to deny them either.

you were sure of the fact that you were fucked when the doctor asked you to visit sumeru with him- to handle political and diplomatic issues from his behalf as he works on his own research- but, another harbinger had requested of your help at the same time and the tsaritsa deemed it more appropriate, to aide this other harbinger at work. the other work wasn't a piece of cake- none of your work is, but ningguang was quite hard to please, you would pray that you never negotiate with her again.

you were sure that no one would care to console you after your probably hardest mission till date- you were exhausted- spent, your brain felt fried. so when you felt a strong arm grip your shoulder you didn't even have enough strength to shake it away- honestly, you probably couldn't even if you were healthy. you tilt your head as you looked at the ruffled red locks- they seemed fluffy. you smiled as you stared up at him. "good evening, lord," you said as the harbinger smiled at you- passing you a coffee to drink- your favorite one too! you giggled as you took the drink from his hands, to exhausted to register what was happening in front of you as you grinned at childe.

"your girlfriend might get jealous, my lord."

you saw his brows quirk up quizzically as he stared at you, "what girlfriend?"

"lumine?"

"she's not my girlfriend- neither do i like her."

you were sure that this man was devoid of being vulnerable- yet when you sat next to him as he looked over at the red sunset over the white silky stretches of snezhnaya, you could feel him shiver- if only for a second. he chuckled as he closed his eyes and leaned back, "signora hated the chilly air, you know? now that i think, she hated the wind itself."

ah, so it was about her today,

"and the balladeer would scowl at me as i asked him to spar- sparring was perfect to not feel the cold."

so it is about both of them.

you simply nodded at your ex-boss, listening to him retell stories about his past days, with smiles and chuckles all along, until he falls silent- his eyes gazing at the shadow of what was the blazing red sun.

"at least one of them is alive- i am sure of that, he wouldn't die this easily."

you stared at your master as your hand involuntarily went over his, gingerly tracing small circles over his knuckles as he smiled. he didn't push your hand away and neither did he punish you.

"thankyou." was all that you heard.

you didn't expect him to drag you to snezhnaya's market at the break of the morning- on your holiday. and you certainly never expected him to loiter around the market, asking your opinions on clothes for his siblings that you haven't even seen before. he scrambled here and there for numerous souvenirs, rambling about how he can't return to morepesok empty handed.

he wasn't so cruel as to not reward you for making you work extra hard, he bought you a ridiculously expensive piece of gramet despite your protests and wrapped it around you by himself, singing praises of how you look even cuter now, and promised you to a fairly exquisite lunch too!

not before asking you to come with him- to morepesok.

you were sure that his eyes wouldn't linger on you for any longer than a few mere seconds. so when he stretched his hand across the table and held yours, you wondered if he was the "person of your dreams", someone you would readily give your heart to. you wonder if people like him, needed people like you. because you were always sure, that he'd never notice you, at least not for long.

maybe you were awfully wrong.

[marsixm]

hi do u have any good starting points for Getting Really Into britcom? i watch a lot of panel shows but like. there feels like a bunch of Content i could be Consuming but just don’t know where to start i guess lol

honestly sometimes i feel like i dont even know! ive not seen a lot of sitcoms or stand up specials, i think the best thing you can do is just check out any names of things youve heard of. most of what i do is on line youtube or dailymotion, but if you have a vpn you can try netflix or bbc iplayer or uktv play or whatever channel 4’s streaming service is called now (it keeps changing) also a lot of my finding new things stems from liking specific comics- i got into taskmaster bc of noel fielding! like id try and watch anything with joe lycett or james acaster for example. i also follow people like suzi ruffell, tom allen, katherine ryan, aisiling bea, nish kumar, ed gamble, etc on social media. overall i think its sort of like............. anime? theres so many shows and genres and stuff, theres no one way to Get Into It and no set path or have-to-watch list. you can probably get a gist for whose considered the ogs of britcom though (python, the chuckle brothers maybe, morcomb and wise, even vic and bob though theyre younger) and start from there if you like, idk! for me a lot of britcom, especially the panel shows, is driven by knowing the personalities of the people involved so maybe chasing after specific people you like and thereby discovering new things is a good method, or just checking tv listings, youtube recs- or somewhere like chortle’s website if youre into stand up idk. also a lot of it, once you start chasing personalities, isnt strictly comedy anymore, thats part of it, its such a huge broad web of things once you get into the individual personalities- i love the off menu podcast, for example, and lots of comedians host game shows, but i wouldnt really strictly call those COMEDY programmes but they are funny bc of the people in them.

this is all a very long rambly way of saying idk what im doing either but just find people you like and do some googling and see where it takes you. also theres a britcom reddit for panel shows and another for non panel shows that are britcom related or whatever and they usually have links and stuff

[nishloves]

lmfao

Credits to @UQUOOZZ on Twitter

@asjeontrw

[nishloves]

burden. gojo satoru

it is for the best if you don't associate yourself with him. // drabble

the burden of being the strongest wasn't something that could be shared, a blessing which you can't worship, a curse so unfathomable-a pit of deepest darkest abyss, the pool of water with lost surface. the burden which could make or break you- a burden he wouldn't share; no, a burden he's willing to endure, because he utterly refuses to break.

from a nonchalant and stern child to probably the most immature and flippant adult. he doesn't quite understand when the lines between life and death had blurred for him. the veil of his false confidence thickening with every moment- his nervousness long forgotten and replaced by formerly feigned optimism.

since when has he starting expecting strangers to jump out from trash cans and try to kill him? since when has fighting become his muscle memory? he can't really pinpoint it. his thoughts are now the shell of what they were, his personality cloaked with his happy go lucky- arrogant attitude.

he can't really remember what he was originally like now- but there is one thing he does remember; it is his responsibility, as the honored one, to maintain the balance which he himself tipped off. call him vain to think himself worthy of the title.

so this burden- it isn't something which he wants other to feel, so he won't share.

his path is his alone to tread- so, hate him, hate his guts, call yourself an idiot for falling for him, stain your pillows with your tears, but do not try to get attached to him- because he is still far too weak.

he smiles as he blocks your number from his contacts, his cocky smirk irreplaceable but something in his chest clenches, twists and turns like the rag he had used to mop the classroom floor some twelve years ago. but he simply smiles, he is alone, he knows. he is a burden, he knows.

fin.

[nishloves]

k-pop masterlist; seventeen

hoshi🩵🩷 ~ my ult bias <3 // navigation.

masterlistsﾟ⁠.⁠*⁠･⁠｡°

anime masterlist

(separate link)

seventeen

(scroll)

series

Seventeen Dating Simulator (ot13) - fantasy series (oneshots of every member) / smut / fluff / angst / long chapters

all works of this series can be read as standalones.

╰┈➤ hyung line masterlist - ongoing

╰┈➤ maknae line masterlist - not started

╰┈➤ prologue (chapter wise masterlist) - updated as chapters are posted

ot13

boyfriend! headcannons (pu)

age gaps

svt as anime! [haikyuu!, jjk, aot, demon slayer, bsd, mha and many more!]

svt as zodiacs

svt as bollywood songs

svt sorting hat! (svt x hp)

svt as mafia!

fluff drabble 1 (sick day)

svt on your periods

how long would i date svt members?

can svt beat me in a fight?

hate it when you cry (smut drabble ~ 1)

svt with a pillow princess s/o - nsfw

please cry (angst drabble ~ 1)

how they eat you out? - nsfw

choi seungcheol (s.coups)

sick day - nsfw drabble

guilty pleasure - nsfw drabble

plethora - sds series

moral of the story - small fic

yoon jeonghan

heartbreaker - oneshot

hong jisoo (joshua)

enchanted - oneshot

wen junhui (jun)

kwon soonyoung (hoshi)

annoying - oneshot

june 14th - oneshot

golden - nsfw oneshot

few months ago - nsfw oneshot - req

pretty you - nsfw drabble

finding kwon soonyoung - fluff

screentime - angst oneshot

jeon wonwoo

sweater - oneshot

sweater (2)

lee jihoon (woozi)

eternal - small fic

xu minghao (the8)

in another life - angst oneshot

kim mingyu

drunk - fluff oneshot

golden retriever bf!

aye aye chef! (part1) - rewriting

lee seokmin (dk)

boo seungkwan

text post ~ 1 (birthday)

chwe hansol (vernon)

the night we met - angst oneshot

wet dreams - nsfw drabble

lee chan (dino)

safe word - nsfw drabble - req

you love him and so does he - fluff drabble

(more are yet to come...)

thank-you for your time! hope you like my blog! notes, reblogs, likes will be appreciated.

have a nice day/night ahead!

[nishloves]

𝐒𝐄𝐓 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐙𝐄!

f!reader x kyojuro rengoku // fluff, angst // spoilers ahead! // masterlist

w a r n i n g s (part2) : blood, drinking, mentions of insomnia

w o r d s : 4.5k

chapter 1 | chapter 2 | (ch3-10 coming soon!)

you're sure that all your perfect stars were aligned when you met him.

"A party?" You mumbled, straightening out your now fixed haori as you looked at your kasugai.

"Master Ubuyashiki has prepared a feast for the hashira for their outstanding work!" The crow chirped, opting to sit on your shoulder as you folded your haori, stretching your legs and leaning back on the tatami floor.

"Sorry for yesterday, Karase," you said to your crow as she chirped, which you thought of as an apology accepted.

"I could see this party going down for so many reasons, plus hashiras out of work?" You grumbled to yourself.

"Oyakata sama must have something in his mind."

"Alcohol!"

"There's alcohol present too? Wow, I'm pretty sure we all are going to pass out."

Being demon slayers most of you didn't indulge in any type of alcoholic beverages for most of the year, there were some exceptions but most of you highly refrained from drinking, the party could be fun but you couldn't help feel trepidation, no hashira at work? Not a single one?

"When is the party anyway?"

"In an hour."

"IN AN HOUR!"

Your crow flew off again.

"You aren't very fast! Are you?" You scoffed, you could swear that your kasugai was giggling, even if crows can't really giggle.

You sighed as you fervently rummaged through your closet, should you just wear your uniform? Or would that be too weird? It wasn't as if you didn't have a life outside of the corps! It just... seemed like that.

You rummaged through your seven pairs of uniform and ten pairs of casual clothes, of which several were worn out because you wore them at home... did you really not have a life?

Maybe you should invest your hard earned money on clothes instead of cinnamon.

You looked at the time,

"I'm gonna be late, aren't i?"

You fervently threw on a decent white kimono covered with yellow and red flowers while managing your very very wild hair.

Somehow you got ready in fifteen minutes and stepped out of the house.

"Where is the party, Karase?" You asked your prankster crow as she peered at you.

"The sound hashira's house!"

"You're sure Oyakata sama planned our vacation and not Uzui san?" You asked, your brows furrowed.

"Oyakata sama was the one who planned it, for sure!"

Ren...Rengoku again?

You whipped your head towards the sound of his voice as you saw him laughing, "Hello l/n kun! Are you well now?"

You eyes widened as you noticed his apparel, draped in red kimono, his cloth was full of swirls of golden and yellow leaves with black cuffed sleeves, his hair tamed and collected into a low ponytail as you shamelessly gaped at him.

"Is there something on my face?" he asked, his brows scrunching slightly as he tried to register your expression.

"No- NOT AT ALL," you cried out, mentally slapping yourself for staring at him for too long, "I- I just never saw your hair tied back."

"Oh? Does it look bad?"

You eyes flickered along his golden ones, a smile twitching on your lips as you grinned, "Not at all, you look very cool!"

The tip of his ears and cheeks reddened as he blinked rapidly, did he get you to smile like that?

He should say something, compliment you on how your kimono complimented the undertone of your skin, how your eyes twinkled under the sun rays or rather how neatly your hair was done— but you had turned around, the moment had passed.

"Did Uzui san tell you about the party? You both are rather close," you asked, calming down your nervous and shy jitters as you managed to look ahead at the road, you knew you won't be able to converse with him if you look at him.

"Surprisingly no, I hadn't had a chance to talk to him for weeks," he replied honestly as he looked at your figure leading the way to the said hashira's house.

Rengoku had walked this path many times before, he didn't need any guide or whatsoever, but whatever you were doing was making him happy, so he didn't ask you to slow down.

Walking with you was better, he quite liked your company.

"Were you running late for the party too?"

His face flushed again as he looked away from you for a second; for someone who was known to be very punctual, this tardiness didn't suit him at all.

"I was," he said in a rather soft voice, "Though I was sure I would make it in time if I make a run for it."

You realised he hated calling the cabs.

"Why not call the cab?"

"And waste an opportunity to exercise?"

Or he was just very passionate.

You looked back at him, "Am i slowing you down?" You asked with guilt laced in your voice as you looked forward, "If you want we can still make a run for it, I am a hashira too—"

"No! You already overwork yourself, I am not letting you not rest on a rest day," Rengoku retorted, his strides widening as he easily caught up to you.

"You aren't slowing me down, l/n kun, I feel honoured to walk with you."

Did this guy ever blink?

You smiled slightly, "What's so honorable in walking with me?" You asked, playing with the sleeves of your kimono as Rengoku held your hand to help you cross the road. Your heartbeat fastened, he knew you could easily cross the road, hell you're a hashira! You could easily do any normal thing. But, you being a hashira wasn't an excuse for him to not be gentle with you.

"Shinobu would have chomped your ears off if you had tried to help her," you giggled, causing Rengoku to shiver at his imagination. "she would have," he agreed letting go of your hand,

Hold it again please.

"I'm glad I'm walking with you."

You could only hum and smile at the male bashfully as he grinned at you.

You both were the ones flirting, right?

"You're late."

"Not by much!" You retorted as Uzui grinned at you and Rengoku, not opting to remark on why you both were together.

"Well whatever, alcohol is there," he pointed to the distant corner of his very huge garden, "and food is there."

"Why are food and alcohol so far away?"

"I don't want to handle your drunk asses," he said; you could see his admittedly very pretty wives trying to serve hashiras with refreshments.

"Fair enough," Rengoku said as he walked further, his eyes very very set on the food.

"That was a rare sight," Uzui said, his lips widening into a smirk as you flinched.

"What do you mean?" You asked, being well aware of what he meant.

"You and Rengoku; I thought it was only Mitsuri and Obanai."

"It's not like that!" You retorted as you put your hands in the air, "We just met each other on the way!"

"So you aren't dating?"

"Not a chance," you replied, feeling a little disheartened.

"What a shame," the elder man said, turning to the direction of the party, "You don't look as flamboyant as me but still," he grinned back at you, "You look pretty today."

"Am I ugly otherwise?"

"I did NOT mean that, you just look depraved of food and sleep usually, you've rested well, that's good," he smiled at you as you followed him towards the party, not before noticing Rengoku devouring some type of meat and complimenting one of Uzui's wives (her name was Suma?) for the food.

"Glad that you could make it Y/N-san!"

"Thank you for hosting us, Hinatsuru-san," you smiled at the pretty lady who pushed a glass of sake in front of you, "Have fun!"

You looked around at the scene of the party; Uzui was trying to get Rengoku to slow down; Sanemi and Shinobu were into a deep conversation you had no idea about. Himejima san was snatching alcohol away from Muichiro and passing him an orange juice as Obanai looked at everyone annoyed, while Mitsuri tried to make him smile.

This is the closest to peace you all can have, isn't it?

Your gaze flickered towards the corner of the garden, where the water pillar sat alone with a drink in his hands.

Your heart throbbed, even you weren't that introverted.

You sauntered towards him, trying to keep him a company.

"Giyuu san," you called out, sitting in front of him.

"l/n," he nodded at you, his eyes softer than before.

"What are you doing?" You asked.

"Drinking."

You smiled at him, you knew that he was severely misunderstood, but who wouldn't misunderstand him if he gives them this sort of answer.

"Do you like it here?"

"Sanemi asked me to not be a buzz-kill so I'm sitting here."

You internally cringed as you looked at the wind hashira who was still engrossed in his conversation with Shinobu. He didn't have to be so mean.

"Don't think too much about it, you're fine, Giyuu san."

"I suppose... I should say thankyou."

"Well done!" You grinned at him, suddenly aware of the numerous stares on you both as you paid them no heed; Giyuu was known to be arrogant afterall, but not many of his rumours were true.

"How are you doing? I heard you got wounded," he asked, his eyes on you as you shuffled nervously.

"I wasn't particularly wounded! I was just... Burnt out, too exhausted to move, I didn't have any injury," you said, scratching your nape out of embarrassment.

"Why didn't you visit the butterfly mansion?"

"Well, i didn't see any need for it— it wasn't as if I was wounded and many others had to be treated with more priority," you replied, embarrassed out of your wit's end.

He gave you a disapproving glance, "Urokodaki san wouldn't like that."

"Hey! I sincerely didn't think that I required it!" You retorted as you sneezed, your body accepting the allegations you were trying to deny.

Giyuu passed you his handkerchief.

"Get a check up at the mansion soon, alright?" He said, his gaze averted to the empty glass sitting in front of you both.

You gave him a small smile; you had first met Giyuu three months before his final selection at Urokodaki's hut. He was your senior at the previous Water hashira's house. But, all your ties were cut after you had cultivated your own breathing style. It hurt you to see him being so painfully misunderstood, because you knew that he cared. He cared in his own way.

Yet when you see the Giyuu in front of you and the Giyuu you remember, there's a vast difference.

How could there not be?

You won't pry for his well being though, you don't need to. You suddenly remembered to write to the old man Urokodaki, you would soon.

"I will, Giyuu san," you replied, leaning back on your chair.

"l/n?"

"Yes?"

"What if... you come across a demon that doesn't kill humans?" Giyuu asked, his gaze still fixated on the empty glass.

"What? That's impossible, isn't it? A demon not wanting to eat human flesh?" You laughed, but something in Giyuu's demeanor made you think that it wasn't a joke.

"Only Muzan can do that right?" You asked, more alert than before as you tried to keep down all the foreign voices at the party.

". . ."

"Giyuu san," you said, your eyes squinting, "Did you see someone like that?"

"l/n, i-" the water hashira looked at you, he seemed uncomfortable, "there's a new demon slayer—"

"y/n kun! What are you doing sitting with Tomioka san all alone? Hasn't he bored you to death by now?"

You whipped around to see Shinobu grinning at you as Sanemi scoffed at the water pillar.

"Well— he hasn't. He's alright."

"Tomioka san, you shouldn't try to seem likable!"

"...people don't dislike me."

"Oh wow! Do you seriously believe that?" Shinobu gasped as you looked at Tomioka, you couldn't ask him for an explanation now— he looked too uncomfortable even in front of you to open up right away, it wouldn't be nice if you make him unload his baggage in front of everyone.

"Don't bully him, Shinobu," you nudged your friend as she grinned at you, "What do you need?" You asked with a smile.

"Has Tomioka's language skills rubbed off on you," she retorted as Sanemi rolled his eyes, "Well whatever, let's us all drink; This party exists so that we can strengthen our bonds and take a break, we should honor Oyakata sama's wishes."

"You should join us too, Tomioka san, even though it's not really required—"

"He will join us," You answered on Giyuu's behalf as you pulled him at front.

"She said it isn't required—"

"It is." You shut him up.

"Alright."

You all gathered at the huge table at the centre of the garden, Uzui sat at the head's seat while Rengoku sat just in front of you, he passed you a smile which you happily returned.

"Oh y/n kun! You look pretty," Mitsuri gasped as she looked at you. You blushed.

"Thankyou so much."

You felt Obanai's glare. Was it too hot today?

"Let us all drink and get to know each other well!" Shinobu announced as she beamed at others— she looked so passive aggressive at times—

You weren't against the idea, but was it safe for all of you to become drunkards? Plus, there was Muichiro.

"That excluded you, Muichiro kun, you shall eat rice," Himejima pushed a bowl in front of the boy's place. At least one problem was solved.

You were still astounded at the fact that everyone actually attended the party, although it was master's order.

"Are we sure we should all drink?" You voiced out. "We have to return back to our homes and prepare for our next mission— should we drink at all?"

"You worry too much, y/n-kun!" Shinobu smiled at you, "Uzui san, Rengoku san and Shinazugawa san all can hold their liquor— Kanroji kun isn't even affected by it. We will be fine! Plus we all have exceptional tolerance."

You reluctantly nodded at the insect pillar.

"Though, I am not sure about Tomioka san, did he ever drink with his friends before?"

"I haven't."

YOU SHOULDN'T ADMIT THAT!

"Ah... Poor Tomioka san..."

"I am not poor..."

Yeah, you couldn't help him anymore.

Your eyes flickered towards Rengoku from Giyuu who was already eyeing you intently as an unknown blush crept up to your cheeks, yet you couldn't help but notice that, Rengoku was also staring at the handkerchief in your hands, very intently too.

Turns out you can't actually hold onto your liquor and it's pretty easy to get you drunk— along with Mitsuri.

Somehow you're sitting next to Rengoku now, as Obanai sits in your previous place between Mitsuri and Giyuu. Uzui shamelessly made out with his wives while Muichiro and Shinazugawa talked to Himejima, you could barely make out Giyuu and Shinobu quarreling on something.

But despite this admittedly exciting background, you could only focus at Rengoku.

"Did i tell you that you look very handsome today, Rengoku san?" You giggled as you laid your head on the table, looking up at Rengoku as he beamed at you.

"Hmm yes! Today! Before the party!"

"Did i now?" You pouted, covering your face with your hands, "Can I tell you again?"

"Haha! You may," he smiled at you, his heart racing because of your cuteness, how could someone as strong as you come off as such a little fluffball?

"But, i don't think you like me!" You pouted, smashing your face into the table as Rengoku tried to steady you.

His heart clenched, did he do something to make you feel that way?

"Why do you think that?" He asked, his voice quieter than before as you gazed up at him, "You didn't talk to me at the party even once!"

"Did i not? I'm sorry for that."

"You should be," you huffed as you leaned your head on his shoulder, making him blush slightly. "Don't be mean to me!"

"I promise I will not be," he smiled at your antics as you rested yourself on his shoulder, feeling more safe than ever. "l/n kun?"

"yes?"

"You look beautiful."

"Thankyou," you giggled as you closed your eyes, falling into a deep slumber.

Being with Rengoku always made you feel safe and secure, yes, you did fall asleep in front of him too much when you shouldn't— but did it matter? You were drunk and your crush was finding you adorable. You were on top of the world.

Shinobu's eyes fell upon you both as Rengoku's chest swelled with warmth, he loved it whenever you would get so vulnerable and light-hearted with him, it made him feel like you trusted him. Trusted him enough to show your inner child to him.

"It's cute how she fell asleep so easily after drinking," Shinobu said, her eyes on you.

Rengoku furrowed his brows, fell asleep easily? More often than not he had seen you dozing off earnestly.

"What do you mean?" He asked Shinobu as the insect pillar patted your head.

"She has acute insomnia because of her paranoia, it's hard for her to fall asleep usually— that's why I always urge her to visit for a checkup, but she rarely does," Shinobu said as she looked at Rengoku, "though the situation feels better now."

Rengoku's golden eyes flickered towards your figure which was half sprawled on him, his hands clutching your arm so that you don't fall as he tried to hide his smile, did you feel safe with him? He wondered as he got up from his seat, steadying your half limp body.

"I will get going," he announced to Tengen as the latter just nodded at him.

"Will you drop her off?" The sound pillar asked as he motioned towards your figure.

"Hmm. I will," Rengoku smiled at him as he picked you up gingerly, afraid of waking you up.

He called a cab as he placed you down on the seat, requesting the driver to drive slowly.

He chuckled as he saw you snuggling deeper into the seat, a small smile on your face as you lazily gazed up at Rengoku.

"Hehe, I like you very much, Rengoku san."

The second time you had met Rengoku was two months after the final selection, at the foothills of a huge mountain where you laid severely injured as the yellow haired man scrambled towards you.

"Shit— it really is you, l/n," you could hear his loud voice as you tried to breathe softly, energy draining from your body as you saw the flame haired man patch you up.

He smiled at you when he saw that you were conscious, "Hey there! I never assumed we would meet this way."

"i hope we don't ever meet this way again," you could hear him say.

"Reinforcements..." You muttered out, your voice strained as the man tried to help you lay down.

"Don't sit up, you would lose blood that way!" He scolded as he laid you down, "and for reinforcements— the stone pillar was sent here when it was determined that the demon was a lower moon."

You looked around yourself, corpses of demon slayers laid out in the open ground as tears welled up in your eyes, you were so useless— so helpless against the strong foe.

"The stone hashira took care of the demon," Rengoku said as he helped you sit up after patching your wound at your stomach. You saw a wound on his shoulder, blood seeping from it.

"You're hurt," you whispered, you hand on his arm as he smiled at you, "Himejima sama was fast, I didn't get hurt badly."

You nodded as you leaned your head back, trying to relax.

You remembered that a number of demon slayers were sent behind the demon, numerous of lower classes trying to make up for a lack of hashira as you winced in pain.

"You're strong," you said, your eyes on Rengoku as you saw his eyes widening slightly, "Not really, I was useless against the demon," he said, his smile unfaltering.

"I have to train a lot more," he said, crouching in front of you.

"At least you were able to give him a fight," you muttered, looking down at your hands as Rengoku's hands went up to your face, he levelled your chin up to look at him as he said, "I knew you would make it out alive. You know why?"

"... Why?"

"Because you're strong too," he smiled at you as he turned out, his back facing you, "come now, get on."

"What?"

"Let me take you to the butterfly mansion," he grinned at you as you smiled at him. Grateful for having a friend.

It had only been a few months and Rengoku had gone up from Mizunoto to Kanoe; while you were still a Mizunoe. It was embarrassing but you were alright, you would train harder to get on to the same level as him. He was the motivation you needed in this cruel world, even if you didn't register it yourself.

While you dreamt happily, Rengoku was stuck in a dilemma as he held you in his arms in front of your house. You weren't waking up at all, should he break into your house? Or should he take you as a guest to his family mansion?

He heard you mumbled some incoherent sentences against his chest as his heart swelled, along with a little guilt. He couldn't help it, could he?

He moved towards his house with you in his hands.

He would keep you away from his father's gaze and take care of you in his own house, until you wake up.

He cursed at himself as he admired your soft figure, how was he to stay strong when you were so cute in his arms?

When you woke up in a different room than yours you groaned at yourself, were you a nuisance to sound hashira last night?

Bracing yourself for incessant snarks from Uzui, you readied yourself before stepping out of the admittedly pretty and traditional room.

But, you were met with a different entity entirely, a little boy with very similar looks to Rengoku as your eyes widened.

"Senjuro kun?" You asked, your mind racing as you tried to figure out just what you did last night— but, it was all a blur, any memory after the sound hashira's house was a total blur.

Also, this permeating headache was nearly killing you.

"l/n san! Good morning," the boy smiled at you as he passed a tray towards you, you felt queasy looking at the food as you swore you wouldn't drink anymore.

"Good morning," you muttered out, your throat dry as you realised just how horrible you must be looking, should you really step in Rengoku's mansion like this? The thought of your physical condition made you more sick, you didn't care about the way you looked in front of Uzui— he was honestly like a big brother. But, Kyojuro Rengoku was another deal—

"This is for your hangover, you will feel better after this," the boy said as he passed you the fluid and you drank it in a gulp.

"That wasn't very tasty."

"It isn't supposed to be," Senjuro laughed at you as he took the dish from your hands, "you must have drunk a lot for nii-san to carry you here."

"You're telling me Rengoku carried me here?"

"Precisely."

"Wow, i must be such a burden."

"I don't think he felt the weight."

"Did you- did you just affirm that I am a burden?" You asked incredulously as Senjuro laughed at you.

You came to know Senjuro and Mitsuri because of Rengoku, yet— yet, you were closer to them than Rengoku. In the past, you had a habit of running away whenever Rengoku approached you, so that wasn't a surprise.

"I should go and say sorry, shouldn't i?" You said as Senjuro shrugged, "Someone made you hangover drink."

"Thankyou, dammit!"

"Mention not."

"Where is he?" You asked the boy as he smiled, "I think he just went towards the market to prepare for his mission."

"He has a mission today?"

"That's why he didn't drink yesterday," Senjuro said as he pulled a broom out of nowhere and went towards the garden.

"I would advise you to hurry to meet him before he actually steps into the market, you won't get to talk to him after that."

You rushed out of Rengoku's mansion but, really... You were late, or the hashira was too fast as you panted outside your house.

Your home was closer to the market than Rengoku's, so if he was returning anytime soon, you would meet him in front of your house.

"Oh? l/n!"

His loud voice boomed around your house as you smiled at him, waving at him sluggishly as he trotted towards you.

"Are you alright?" He asked, a smile on his face.

"I am, thanks for carrying me yesterday."

"It's no problem!"

"And sorry for being such an inconvenience—"

"You weren't," he cut you off as you noticed a change in his glances towards you, were you still dreaming?

"I- did I do anything weird yesterday?" You asked, playing with your cuffs as you looked at him bashfully.

"Haha! Not really, you were just singing some sappy songs on the way, do you not remember?" He asked, his glare more demanding than before.

"I was?" You squeaked as you looked at him, embarrassment flooding your cheeks, "I-I am sorry, I don't remember anything of yesterday," you admitted.

"oh... I see."

Did something happen yesterday? Did you say anything?

"It's alright, l/n, you were nice to me even when you were drunk," Rengoku smiled, he didn't lie— he hated lying, but half-truths weren't lies right?

"Yet again sorry—"

"It's alright, you didn't mean it... you didn't mean anything."

Something in his words made you snap into reality more than before as you looked at the food in his hands.

"Oh right, today's your mission right? When are you leaving?" You asked as Rengoku looked at the food in his hands momentarily.

"I will be leaving tonight," he said, "Something about frequent disappearances at the mountain, I hope it's not a demon."

You hummed at affirmation as you looked at his golden eyes, which ignited certain spark in your heart.

"Rengoku san?"

"yes?"

"When you return, can I treat you to a meal?" as a date, you wanted to add but you couldn't.

But, the flame haired smiled widely at you, as if just the offer was enough to fill warmth into his heart.

"Sure l/n kun, I will look forward to it!"

"Take care... Rengoku san," you said as a slight blush graced your features.

He looked at you in sheer silence for a while as he raised his hand to pat your head, full adoration in his voice as his eyes crinckled, "I will, l/n kun. Promise me you will take care of yourself too?"

You smiled, "I will."

more at chapter 3! (coming soon)

not kidding, I wanted to publish this chapter within ten days of ch1 but it stretched to 11 days T-T

though, I do hope you all had fun reading it!

tags : @atmosphinx @sanjunlvr (you seemed interested in the fic so I thought to tag you, if you don't want to be disturbed, kindly let me know! thankyou &lt;;3)

kny tmi! - canon

rengoku possibly burst his eardrums when he was fighting the lower moon 2 for his position as a hashira— that's why his voice is too loud lol.

as far as I remember, when shinjuro stepped down as his position as a hashira rengoku went into a hashira meeting unannounced on behalf of his father when he wasn't even a tsuguko! thus, he had to kill a lower moon asap to become a flame hashira and step in his father's position!

[nishloves]

I love this. I love him. This is how I envision satoru gojo to fall in love if he ever does. I have been smiling like a fool since the moment I started reading this 😭 gosh it's so cute <33

NOT SO INVISIBLE STRING — GOJO SATORU

synopsis: the universe has a funny way of working. gojo always knew he was destined to be with you and so did others. it just took some time for you to figure that out as well.

content warning(s): FLUFF! eventual smut so 18+ mdni, fem! reader, pining gojo (sooo cute), mutual pining, friends to lovers, unproetected sex, gojo calling you baby multiple times while going innn.

word count: 6.8k zoo wee mama... pls read anyway or i'll d—

SPRING 2008

“So, you’re not gonna miss me? Not even a little?” 

An arm was suddenly thrown across your shoulder, leaving you to bear its weight. The press of his uniform stuck to your nape, making his presence all the more difficult to ignore.

Fellow students bustled and sidestepped their way around you two, some even falter in their steps to ogle briefly at the scene unfolding before them.

“Satoru, move!” Shoko— your saviour— jabs Gojo’s side, urging him to budge, but to no avail.

He’s still tethered to your side, twirling around his diploma in his unoccupied hand despite your best efforts to create space between you two. “You’re literally blocking people’s way toward the gates,” she says.

It’s graduation day and the last day of school for the spring semester, bringing the school year to yet another successful end. It also meant that today would be the last time your upperclassmen would walk on school grounds as students.

The sun was beginning to dip behind the many trees surrounding the school, and its marvellous glow cast warm hues of pink and orange that stretched across the sky. Its rays descend onto the school’s campus; setting for a brilliant, comforting atmosphere. 

Answering Gojo’s initial question about whether you’d miss him, you avert eye contact with your persistent senior. “I never said that,” your voice teeters between a grumble and a groan riddled with exasperation. 

Your eyes sweep the courtyard and you spot a few familiar faces in the crowd. Some are gathered along the steps leading up to the school taking photos to commemorate today. Others linger on campus chatting amongst themselves, and some whack each other with their diploma scrolls while others treat theirs delicately.

And not too far off from where Satoru holds you hostage stood a small crowd of his classmates—specifically, his female classmates— waiting for their chance to bid their goodbyes...

Or stumble out an unprepared confession thrown out in the heat of the moment before they may never see Gojo Satoru again.

Who knows. 

All you’re sure of is that they are most definitely throwing you shady death glares from your peripheral.

“Y’know, I’m gonna miss you,” Gojo says, arm still looped around your shoulders. He has half a mind to drag you away from standing right front and centre in the entranceway and shuffles you off to the side. “All the years we’ve spent together—”

“Two years, by force.” 

“— and now we’re being split apart,” he finishes, paying no mind to your sardonic comment. The infliction in his voice prompts you to turn to look at him, only to wind up and see a slight pout tugging at his soft, pink lips. “How ever will we manage?”

You smother down the urge to heave a loud and heavy sigh at the clingy characteristics he’s displaying today and decide to play nice.

Gojo’s always been one to be playful, perhaps even a bit pushy at times but it was all in good nature. However, for some reason, his antics have reached a whole new level today. 

Emotions were running high among staff and students alike. Some are more potent and… persistent than others.

“You’ll be fine,” you assure, patting his arm half-heartedly, “and I will certainly be fine. Everything will be just fine.”

In the middle of your sentence from the corner of your eye, you spot another one of your seniors— Geto Suguru. You watch him step out from a conversation with two classmates of yours (Haibara and Nanami) and is now trekking his way over to where you and Gojo occupy the front steps.

“Geto-senpai!” 

Geto greets you warmly by placing a comforting hand on your head and gives you a reassuring pat once, then twice. The action leaves your hairstyle a little dishevelled, nonetheless, there’s a small smile tugging at your lips.

You’ve only interacted with Geto a sparse number of times outside of class or at the end of the school day. Whenever you both would cross paths you appreciated how he would regard your presence with temperance. It always left you feeling at ease. You’ll miss him. 

You’ll especially miss how he was so quick to offer you and Haibara snacks from the vending machines on campus.

Gojo emits a pathetic squawk at the special name drop.

Pale, white brows are pinched tightly together with faux betrayal. “How come he gets honorifics but I don’t?!” he complains once Geto’s within earshot. 

“I see that Satoru's already started…”

Though Geto was talking to no one in particular, Shoko chips in given that she bore witness to Gojo’s incessant pestering toward you ever since the home bell rang. “You missed the part where he blocked her from getting to the lockers for a good several minutes.” Unzipping her bag, she carelessly shoves her diploma into it. 

“Anyway, I’m gonna head out for a smoke. I’ll catch you guys later.” Before departing, Shoko stretches her hand towards you and gives your arm an affectionate squeeze. “Get home safe, ‘kay? Don’t let these guys keep you out too long.”

Which reminded you…

“Gojo, this has been fun and all…” Being rag-dolled around by your upperclassman across campus has been anything but fun. “But I really should start heading home now.”

You wanted to beat the rush hour of students and working-class alike trying to go home on a late Thursday afternoon. Looking for empty seats on the 4:25 PM train was brutal and you did not have the energy to stand the entire ride home.

Sensing your air of urgency, he eventually relents. Heaving a dramatic sigh, Gojo steps back a few and gives you some space.  

“Gimme a second, yeah?” He rummages around in his uniform pocket, searching for something. It only lasts about a second before he pulls out his flip phone.

“Suguru!” A curt upward nod of Gojo’s head is the only warning Geto gets before he tosses his cell toward his best friend to catch. You’re appalled that he catches it so easily with the little to no notice that was given. “Take a picture of us.”

…Huh?

Your brows drew close-knit together with confusion. “What are y—?!” Before you can even finish your question, you’re pulled tightly into Gojo’s side. 

His arms circle your neck once more, but this time, he uses the opportunity of your close proximity to tip his head to the side and knock it against your own. 

“Smile,” Gojo murmurs into your ear, his slender fingers pinching at your cheek prodding for you to plaster on a sugary smile for the picture.

You don’t have enough time to register, let alone recover from how his lips faintly brushed against your skin, Gojo’s already obnoxiously yelling “Cheese!” towards the awaiting camera.  

Snapping the photo Geto sports a lazy grin admiring his work. “Looks good,” he says before he tosses the phone back to its owner. 

You’re still reeling over the gentle graze of Gojo’s lips against your cheek, too dazed to digest what’s going on around you. What. In. The hell. Just happened??? 

Sputtering out a laugh, Gojo grins down at the image on his phone. “What’s with that face you’re making, huh?”

Eyebrows furrowing, you look up at Gojo curiously. Whatever was in that picture that made him smile that wide couldn’t have been good. “What do you mean?” You question, stepping closer to see what he was referring to on his screen.

Gojo tips his cell over and shows you the photo Geto took. There you both are in grain, Gojo looking the most lively out of you two. Despite the quality of the camera, you can see the proud and happy smile he wears compared to your frazzled and confused expression.

If anything, it looked like you were the one who was graduating and he so happened to snag a photo with you before your big send-off.

“I wasn’t ready…” you grumbled, looking away from his phone.

There’s a faint smile lingering on his face, blue eyes still trained on the screen. His voice's cadence grows warm and carries a small hint of affection.

“That face of yours is what I’m gonna miss the most.”

SUMMER 2009 

To no one’s surprise, you and Gojo kept in close contact, even after graduating high school. 

Well… More so Gojo kept in contact with you. Consistently. 

Whenever he can.

He was there during your spring graduation (shocker), much to the elation of the entire female population from your graduating class. Looking back, the number of times he stopped to pose with random students around the school when he came to greet you was absurd.

You’ll also never forget how loud he cheered when your name was called despite Principal Yaga telling the audience to hold their applause and hollers until after the ceremony.

Fast forward to the summer of ‘09 where Gojo consistently seeks your presence to go and hang out with him now that you have a freed-up schedule. Whether it's with him alone or with Geto and Shoko, you can always rely on him to shoot you a ‘u busy?’ text an hour before dragging you out for the rest of the day.

“Sooo,” you start slowly.

Your eyes skim across the playground, watching the few children who were there amble and climb on the jungle gym before you. The sun was beginning to descend below the skyline, and hues of warm orange press onto your features casting you and your surroundings in a soft glow. 

“You’re a… guardian now,” you state, eyeing how Gojo stretches his legs out beside you. 

You both sit at a park bench, the chorus of laughter and playful shrieks surround you as you watch Megumi— a kid Gojo now supposedly looks after— poke mindlessly at something buried beneath the playground’s sand.

“Yup!” he chirps, but then it’s swiftly followed by a hesitant, “Well, sorta kinda…”

There’s a mental warfare going on in his mind as he combs through the various explanations he can give you, searching for one that would be both concise and easy for you to digest.

“To put it simply, from here on out I’m going to be a constant in Megumi and Tsumiki’s life.”

You think of the step-sibling duo. They’re the sweetest pair of children you’ve had the delight of coming across, and now…

“They’re doomed,” you say with pity, your gaze still focused on the youngest Fushiguro. 

Gojo gasps in disbelief at your bold accusation with his hand flying to his chest, clearly having taken offence. “What’s that supposed to mean?!” he asks.

But before you could give him a smart alec answer, the cheerful exclamation of your name pulls your attention elsewhere. The soft thump of Tsumiki’s shoes approaching prompts you to smile brightly. With open arms, the girl practically throws herself at you and giggles.

You give her cheek an affectionate squeeze. Despite her being in the second grade, you couldn’t help but coddle her. “Why hello, Tsumiki!” 

It takes her a few moments to finally release you from the hug, backing up a bit she glances up at you. “Where were you? I missed you on Tuesday, the swings weren’t fun without you!” she says, pouting.

“I wasn’t feeling the best, so I had to turn down Gojo’s invite to meet you guys at the park that day.”

Upon hearing all the commotion, Megumi spots Tsumiki talking to you a few steps from the play area. It prompts the young boy to walk over and join you three at the bench. He nods his head over at his step-sister and says, “She thought you guys broke up.”

Huh?

You blink rapidly. “Broke— Broke up!?” You squawk, the inflection of your voice rising at the ‘up’ part.

Where could she have possibly gotten that idea from? You and Gojo weren’t even dating!

Gathering your composure you plaster on a sweet smile, ready to explain to the young pair that you and Gojo weren’t together like that before a heavy arm comes hunkering down onto your shoulders. “Even if she tried, she can’t get rid of me that easily,” Gojo comments.

Christ.

Tsumiki claps her hands together in glee at this revelation. “Yay! ‘Cause I like you!” she confesses. “I thought I’d have to deal with Gojo and his friend with the big ears pushing me on the swings forever.” And with that, she’s already off running to the big yellow slide, pulling Megumi along in her wake.

The sweet smile you wear grows more and more strained the longer you two sit there on that damned bench with Gojo’s arm still lodged around you like it belonged there. 

Long delicate fingers drum themselves along your bare shoulder which leaves a tingling sensation that lingers against your skin.

“Gojo Satoru…” you hiss between clenched teeth.

Your hand creeps up to give his knee a mean pinch, but as always, Gojo reads your movements like a damn book and catches your hand in his before that could happen. “Hm?”

“What do you mean ‘Hm’?” You gesture in the general direction of where the kids are playing. You feel your brows start to pinch together. “Why would you tell them that?!”

“It’s true though, no?” Snowy white wisps of hair fall in front of his eyes shaded by his signature round sunglasses. “We haven’t ‘broken up’ and we’re still together. Just not in their understanding of it.”

“You—! That’s not—” You flounder for words, trying to spit out why he can’t go around inadvertently feeding into the imagination of whatever relationship Tsumiki and Megumi thought you two had. But you come up blank.

“You’re irritating, you know that?” you say, as you try (and fail) at removing his arm which still rests comfortably around your shoulders, pressing you tight against him. “You’ll wind up confusing them.”

An easy smile slips onto his lips as he observes Tsumiki and Megumi scramble up the slides. “Relax,” he responds. “They’re smart kids.”

And until it was time for the Fushiguros to go home, there you two sat underneath the thinning ochre sky. Stuck under the guise of an unspoken relationship.

WINTER 2011

Being the “middleman” between two people who are so obviously into each other but cannot figure out how to hang around each other normally was all too common for Shoko.

It’s a shame that Geto wasn’t available to come down and hang out with the three of you tonight, he would’ve revelled in getting a kick out of this expected yet unexpected… turn of events.

Brought in as a buffer between you two, with an unlit cigarette dangling loosely from her lips Shoko leaned back in her chair and watched the buzzing scene before her unfold with bemused eyes. 

Underneath the comforting golden glow of the restaurant’s hanging table light, Gojo picks at the cookie dough chunks that litter your plate to which you turn a blind eye. Now, Shoko could’ve easily brushed this occurrence off, seeing that friends often eat from each other's share of food all the time.

But something was... different.

With Gojo seated to your left inside the booth, he neatly cuts up a piece of his soft, creamy cheesecake and leverages the small serving on his spoon. “Here, try some of mine,” he says.

Harmful, right? 

So, you reach for your own spoon to retrieve the sample of dessert that he was offering you. But without any hesitation, Gojo lifts his cutlery to your lips and prods the food toward your mouth.

There was no way that he intended on doing this right here, right now. In front of Shoko especially.

“Say, ‘Ahhh’!”

Concern creases your brow when Gojo continues to press the spoon against your lips, idly humming as he waits for you to open your mouth so he can spoon feed you as if he were your mother. A delicate, yet sure hand cupping your chin and everything.

He was being serious.

From your peripheral, you catch the slow spread of a Cheshire-like grin creeping onto Shoko’s face.

You press your fingers onto Gojo’s wrist and frown. Trying to retreat from his hand, a peal of nervous laughter bubbles out from you at his display of reckless affection at the table. “Give me a br—”

Gojo uses the opportunity of your uncertain state to slip his sharing of the  Japanese cheesecake into your mouth in the middle of your sentence. Your eyes widen a small fraction at its creamy taste, prompting him to comment, “It’s good, right?”

The cigarette threatens to slip from Shoko’s mouth, as her lips slightly gape at what just happened before they curve into a soft smile. Her brown eyes are warm with… something. It’s as if she knew something that you didn’t.  

“Ehhh…” Is all she says before you’re already jumping down her throat to clear up any misunderstandings.

“It’s nothing!” you supply in a rushed manner. Your main objective was to simply imply that this was nothing for her to lose her head over. Hell, even the friendliest of friends feed each other all the time! Right?

But at your remark, Gojo’s mouth downturns into a cute little pout. “What do you mean, ‘nothing’?” From the corner of your eye you glance at how he’s fixed another spoonful of the dessert, and it's hovering in your direction.

“Sato—” Fuck.

You quickly correct yourself on your mistake, and school your voice to have a bit more edge to it. Despite that, you don’t overlook how hard Gojo’s beaming at you. “Gojo, not now.”

“Ehhh?” Shoko exclaims once again, but this time the cadence of her voice has changed. It’s gained an amused note to its tune. “You call him Satoru now? Since when?”

“I’ve been begging her to use it for the longest time ever,” Gojo answers on your behalf, and he ignores your mutter for him to please stop talking in favour of jabbing an accusatory finger at you. “You know how painful it was to see you be all chummy and on a first-name basis with everyone but me?”

Lord. You’ve forgotten how dramatic he could be. 

There’s a teasing glint in Shoko’s eye that you quite don’t like, and her lips purse heavy with consideration at his comment. “You make him beg?”

Groaning, you cross your arms against the table and bury your face. You can’t with them. Your two former upperclassmen were the bane of your existence right about now. 

“I’ll kill you both,” you mutter, your speech muffled by the fabric of your sweater.

A FEW YEARS LATER

A calming blue nightly glow ripples through your curtains, casting your room in nothing but moonlight. Amidst the serene silence, you idly stare at your screen and read the text Satoru sent you right as the clock struck midnight.

Satoru: Are you home?

What an ominous question. Your eyes skim over his message again. And then again. 

…And again.

Thumbing through your phone, you glance at the time displayed on the top of your screen. It’s been five minutes since you’ve opened his text. You should probably send something back soon before he quintuple texts you.

As you’re about to respond right when Satoru immediately shoots you another.

Satoru: I KNOW you see this!!! ( `ε´ )

Satoru: Hurry hurry hurry

You: yes... why?

Now it’s his turn to take a while to respond. First, it takes a couple of minutes for you to receive that pinging chime; indicating that he’s texted you back— which isn’t too bad because you like to consider yourself a pretty patient person. 

But then five minutes slowly turn into ten, and that ten becomes a whopping fifteen until finally he answers.

Satoru: Open your door.

What the fuck.

Satoru: Pleasepleasepleasepleasepleasepl

So that’s why he took so long to reply. The man was coming all the way down from his place to come and visit you!

You: you're actually insane.

You: hold on!

Rising from your seated position on your bed, you stalk over to your bedroom door and are about to exit when you spot yourself in a nearby mirror.

“Oh!” you exclaim to no one in particular. You can’t open the door for him looking like… this.

Wait, why do you care about what Satoru thinks of your clothes?!

 He’s seen you wearing much worse. Like that one instance in first-year, when you had to borrow Geto’s spare parachute pants because Haibara accidentally spilt his soda all over your lap during an informal outing with everyone.

Yeesh.

Shaking your head, you slip out of your room and pad down your apartment hallway wearing your discoloured oversized band tee and shorts. Upon reaching your door, your hand hesitates on the doorknob. 

It stays like that for a few seconds until the doorknob is rattled in a fashion that’s all too persistent, annoying, and all from—

“Satoru!” you hiss, swinging the door open. You’re ready to chew him out on how much of a nuisance he may be for your sleeping neighbours a few doors down. But your looming reprimand falls short on your tongue once your eyes take in the man facing you.

“Happy birthday!” 

In the darkness, the soft glow of sparklers illuminates your features and highlights the exquisite details of a beautifully decorated cake held in Satoru’s hands.

Wordlessly, your hand aimlessly searches for the light switch to brighten up your hallway so that you may get a better look at what’s on the cake. 

Something trembles in your chest and it hurts a little to breathe. But not in the way that you detest.

He’s cute.

Gojo Satoru is so heartbreakingly cute.

On the cake, you see that damn grainy photo you two took on his graduation day back in ‘08. The photo you love to hate.

Wetness springs to your eyes from the entire gesture, from the fact that he ensured he was the first one through text and physically to wish you a happy birthday, and from the fact that he’s here right now.

“Hey…” There’s concern creasing Satoru’s expression as he pokes his head down a little to get a better read on you. “Are you crying?”

You sniff back your tears and grunt out a watery, “No… Shut up and come in already.”

Ushering him inside, Satoru hands you your cake, toes off his shoes and heads straight to your living room. Good to see that he’s already making himself at home.

Plopping himself down onto your couch you hesitantly follow behind him, suddenly feeling like a stranger in your own home. “Come, come!” He waves a welcoming hand at you and pats the seat beside him, insinuating that you should sit.

With immediate interest, you do as he says and take a seat beside him after you position your cake in the middle of your coffee table. The couch feels so small now, with him spread out like that.

Pulling out something from his pocket with one hand and tugging off the party hat from his head with the other— had he been wearing that the whole time?— Satoru clears his throat. “Before you cry again, I gotta make sure you’re able to see your present first.”

He takes your head in his hands, and you realize his fingertips are a little cold as they press on your warm cheeks. Stretching the string down from the party hat a bit, he places it under your chin and snaps the cardboard cone into place on your head.

Breathing a noise of satisfaction seemingly content with how you look, a cheeky grin dances across Satoru’s face. “Perfect. You can now go ahead and open your gift,” he says, handing you a small black velvet box with the company logo HW scrawled across it.

“Wait, what,” you deadpan.

This can’t be what you think it is.

“It’s not a ring!” Satoru blurts. But composes himself seconds later with a quip of, “Unless you want it to be?”

Har. Har. Very funny.

You disregard what he’s said and peel open the box with caring hands.

Inside was the most extravagant necklace you’ve ever laid eyes on. A diamond pendant laid bare inside the box in the shape of a forget-me-not with your birthstone at the flower's centre. 

That could’ve easily cost him a little over one million yen if you think about it deeply.

“Satoru!” you squeal.

Without thinking, you throw your arms around his neck and squeeze your longtime friend into your loving embrace. Satoru’s gift to you almost topples and sinks into the crevice of your couch had it not been for his quick hand to catch the necklace.

Your heart’s racing, and initially, his body goes rigid until he gradually relaxes under your hold. “You’re crazy, ’s too expensive!” you sparingly chastise him. 

Satoru swallows hard and brings a careful arm up to reciprocate the hug. You feel the warm press of his arm against the thin material of your shirt. 

“Nothing’s too expensive if you’re involved,” you hear him murmur into your ear. “So, don’t worry ‘bout it.”

You give him one last bone-crushing squeeze, hoping that your rare show of physical touch does not go unnoticed and exemplifies how grateful you are. Pulling away from him you look him dead in the eyes. “Thank you, seriously.”

Shrugging you off like it was no big deal as if he didn’t blow double, maybe even triple the money the average Japanese businessman earns on a singular paycheque toward your necklace, Satoru casts you a gentle smile and changes the subject. 

There would be no need to dwell on it any longer with what’s to come.

“Now…” He gives your lower back a soft pat. Once, and twice. “A birthday kiss from the birthday girl.” Satoru puckers out his lips and shuts his eyes real tight, making a huge show out of it.

For extra effect, he even hums a prolonged Mmm-ing sound to emphasize him waiting for you to initiate it.

It’s a joke; you know he’s joking. He has a ridiculously long history of being overly affectionate with his teasings and whatnot. 

But this time, you really do lean in and take said kiss from him.

There’s something incredibly adorable about this kiss that has your heart surging in your chest. Partly because it’s the first time that you’re kissing each other, but mostly because of how frigid and careful it is. It made you feel as if you were in high school all over again, trying a plethora of new things for kicks and giggles.

The tension was almost palpable, thick enough to suffocate the air he breathed. Even when you pulled away creating space between you both, Satoru still felt a lingering lump in his throat.

Cracking your eyes open, you see that Satoru’s own are blown wide. Piercing cerulean eyes stare unblinking at you. Normally, you would’ve found that to be off putting as hell, had it not been for the slow rise of a blooming pink crawling up his neck.

“Sorry,” you offer weakly. Sensing that you may have gone too far, you make an effort to scoot off his lap. But a determined arm holds you in place.

“Again.” He swallows thickly, and your eyes follow that mesmerizing movement in his throat. “I… I didn’t do it right. Please.”

And who are you to make him beg? So, you do as he says.

Leaning in, your lips press against Satoru’s once more. And this time, he has the sense to close his eyes and bask in it, not daring to let his nerves get the best of him (though he’d never admit it). 

Slotting yourself to be more flushed against him, the tips of your noses brush and you feel Satoru’s hand smooth down your spine. The pads of his fingertips press onto your exposed skin peeking out from underneath the hem of your shirt bunched around your hips.

God, you wanted him bad.

It’s abrupt, the way you push yourself off him and force yourself to stand on your feet, breaking the kiss. The rise and fall of your chest is a bit staggered and Satoru’s is too. He’s all red-faced and his snow-white hair is a bit dishevelled, considering how many times you’ve combed your fingers through it.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Cute. 

That alone made you want to jump his bones even more.

You shake your head and get one good look at him before you leave him to head down your hallway. He looked perpetually enraptured by you, eyes hyper-focused on your every movement.  “Come to my bedroom.”

Satoru’s stunned, the implications of your remark not lost on him.

And like a keen lost puppy, of course he follows. He joins you in your bedroom seconds after you and stands in the doorway, just kind of hovering there. Not sure of what to do.

Wait. Did he come here too fast? Did that make him look overly desperate? A million and one questions rush through Satoru’s mind as his neck grows red, stained with embarrassment, want… arousal. 

Seeing how he seems to be short-wiring at your doorway, you beckon him to join you on the bed with your hand. Once he does, he sits extremely close next to you. His clothed thigh brushes against your bare one, which sends a jolt of electricity through you.

Your fingers find his nape once again and they stroke up on his fresh undercut, prompting him to shiver a bit. “Why’re you so shy all of a sudden?” you question, your voice going gentle with a provoking edge to it.

Gaining some of his personality back, Satoru pinches your cheek. “‘Cause I didn’t think you’d want to kiss me!” But his mean hand then turns soft and slides along your jaw, his thumb rubbing smooth circles into the skin just below your ear. 

“Well, I’m here,” you say, scooting impossibly closer to the man beside you, “and wanting.”

Message received.

Hauling you onto his lap, Satoru cradles your face in both hands and kisses you deeply. It’s full of emotion, expressing all the things he’s been wanting to say for the longest time. A trembled exhale escapes you, and it’s through that that Satoru uses the opportunity to slide his tongue alongside yours. 

The kiss is frenzied, but so filled with love.

“So you like me?” he asks, his breathing laboured.

“Yes,” you bite, pushing him away from you and onto the mattress. “As if swapping spit with you wasn’t enough.” You guess you’ll have to show him how much you undoubtedly like him, love him even, through other means. 

He huffs a breath of laughter and drops his back onto your bed. Underneath you, you see Satoru’s eyes sparkle as he watches you have your way with him. 

But something’s up.

His eyes climb up a little higher and this time, he barks out a real laugh.

You still have that piece of fuck sitting on your head. You probably look stupid as hell right now.

Discerning that you’re about to raise your hand to your head, Satoru holds your wrist in his palm. There’s something bright that gleams behind those alluring pools of blue, warm and tender. He bites back a smile. “The birthday hat stays on during sex.”

You scrunch your nose at him. “You’re so dumb,” you growl with artificial frustration and tear off the cone-shaped hat from your head, tossing it into the depths of your room. He whines at its loss, but you’re quick to placate him with a slow roll of your hips into his lap.

Satoru’s jaw clenches and his hands fly to your waist, gripping you tightly as you continue to grind yourself down onto his erection. Your ministrations pull a wanton whimper from his lips, one that has you grinding with more purpose— the purpose of hearing that sound again.

“Do you like that?” you ask.

He nods, not trusting himself to speak, else he’ll let out a pathetic string of moans.

“I know, me too.” Satoru’s dick lurches in the confines of his pants as he watches you dry-hump him into the mattress slowly, your eyes shining with lust. Fuck, he could get hard just off your expression alone. “It feels reeeally nice being up on you like this,” you continue.

You have a fucking dirty mouth. One that Satoru’s growing more and more addicted to the more you speak.

There’s an incessant throbbing between your legs that you can’t quite alleviate. While rolling your hips into Satoru’s lap— with his occasional thrust to match your movements— felt good, it can only do so much. You wanted and needed more.

And so did Satoru, because he’s already pulling at the waistband of his pants. His thumb loops two layers and tugs both his pants and boxers down, revealing his toned V-line. 

Fuck.

You fall victim to Satoru’s enamoured gaze from below, which makes you squirm hot with arousal. “Take it off,” he commands.

He wants you to strip him of his clothes. 

Caught taking a startled breath, you ignore the wicked, handsome smile that slinks onto his face as you slip off his lap so you may curl your fingers around his waistband and pull. Your pussy clenches when his erect dick springs into view, and the heat pumping through your veins runs a little hotter.

You shiver at how pretty and filling his dick looks. After a few seconds of openly ogling at his lap, Satoru clears his throat which successfully gets you to drag your eyes back up to his face.

“While that was nice,” he starts, leveraging himself up onto his elbows and grins at your cute error, “I meant you, baby. Take it off.”

“Oh.” 

Seriously? Just ‘Oh’?

Mentally facepalming, you shimmy your shorts down your legs along with your panties. They pool down at your ankles and you step out of them to stand between his legs.

Fully sitting up, Satoru pats his lap; encouraging you to sit on him again. “C’mere.”

You crawl onto his lap, but you don’t sit down fully. Hovering a few inches away from his cock, your knees press on each side of his thighs, trapping him in. 

There’s no way in hell you were gonna sit down right now, knowing that if you do, you’d be pressing your bare pussy onto his naked thigh and he’d feel everything. Exposing how wet you are.

Humming, Satoru lifts the hem of your oversized top to your breasts and sighs. “Pretty,” he murmurs before he leans forward and captures your nipple into his mouth.

You gasp harshly at the titillating feeling. Your hands balance on his shoulders for support, as he rolls your nipple on his tongue.

“Sa— Ah!” You cry out. The hand between your legs startles you and has you whimpering in the open air.

“You’re wet,” he comments, slipping a finger against your slick pussy.

“Shut up about it…”

But he doesn’t. Another finger joins the first and delves down between your lips, gradually easing them inside you. They push against your walls, curling in a way that has you gasping into his neck. “You got wet from grinding alone, huh?” 

A breath stutters out of your mouth and you rock yourself against his hand. You can’t take this anymore. You want more. “Do you have a condom?” you ask.

“I—” he groans when your hand slides between you two, your fingers curl around his dick and stroke his tip along your leaking slit. “I didn’t bring one, because I didn’t think we’d—”

Oh.

Biting your bottom lip, you sling a heavy arm across Satoru’s shoulders. You meet his hungry gaze with one of your own and inch closer toward his dick that rests against his stomach. What you’re about to do could be risky, but at this given moment you couldn’t find it in you to be overly stressed about it.

“No worries,” you reply, your voice barely above a whisper, “I trust you enough to pull out in time.” And like that, you push down on him and ease Satoru’s cock into your aching cunt, making him bottom out inside you completely.

You’re so wet and slippery that it took little to no effort for him to slide inside. The noise of your slick sticking to where you two meet at the hips has you two moaning softly in unison.

The harsh mutter of your name echoes off your bedroom walls and goes straight to your cunt. “So tight,” he grits out behind clenched, white teeth.

Each time you slide up and down on his cock, Satoru grows more unrestrained with his vocal appreciation of how well you take him. Desperate little moans escape him each time your sweet cunt squeezes him of all he’s worth.

You were no better. Choppy, broken whimpers can be heard from you, loving how he stretches your walks with your length. He fits perfectly inside you like your cunt was destined for this moment, for him alone. 

“Let me fuck you,” Satoru blurts out. He was losing it, and he could feel him tipping closer and closer to the edge of release.

“You are— Ugn!” you say weakly when his hands grab your ass and he stands, lifting you with him as if it were nothing. Kicking off his bottoms, Satoru props you on your back against your mattress.

 Crawling between your legs, he positions the crown of his cock to press against your opening. “No,” he drawls, with one hand on the base of his shaft and the other propped beside your head. “Let me fuck you.”

He pushes in and you swear you see stars. 

Satoru pistons himself faster and faster inside of you, rocking your bodies against the mattress which makes your wooden headboard tap noisily against your drywall.

You fear your neighbours may have some… less than pleasant words to share with you about the noise tomorrow morning. 

“Ah! Fuuucking— shit!” You wail. Euphoric tears start prickling at the corner of your eyes. “Don’t stop, please!”

The pleasure melts through you when Satoru presses down harder into you, his hand finding the back of your right knee and hikes your leg around his waist so that he can fill you at a new angle.

“Baby,” he murmurs into your neck. He says it like you’ve been his for years. “Say my name.”

“S—Satoru!”

Laughing a little, probably too fucked out of his mind, Satoru removes his face from your neck and presses a hot, searing kiss onto your lips.

You yelp when he drives his cock more harshly into you, growing more desperate with the urgency to come inside you.

Riding his high, Satoru says the first thing that comes to mind, which is a long drawn-out, “Haaa…”

What Satoru meant to accomplish was to wish you another ‘Happy Birthday’, but of course, it all gets garbled up in his throat due to his approaching orgasm and comes out sounding fucking obscene.

That’s what gets you.

You come hard, your back bowing off the bed. Satoru, remembering your initial statement about how you trust him to pull out, does exactly that. Albeit, he did it at the very last second, but you avoided a pregnancy scare. So you can’t be mad.

Thick ropes of his cum splash across your bare belly and some get on your top. You’re hyperaware of how it trickles down your abdomen, some dipping into your belly button.

Wow.

Breathing hard and heavy, both coated in sweat among… other sensual fluids, Satoru rolls onto his back.

“Stuck with me for life, huh?” he asks, delicate fingers intertwined with yours. 

You hum. “Seems so…” you agree quietly. 

Now that you think about it, there hasn’t ever been a moment where Gojo Satoru hadn’t been present in your life, ever since meeting him during your high school days.

You two lay like that for some time, soaking in each other’s company until the early traces of morning light ripple through your curtains.

You’re about ready to shut your eyes until your thoughts are accosted by something you offhandedly forgot. 

“Satoru?” you begin, tone nice and sweet.

“Hm?”

You sit up slowly so you can peer down at his blissed-out face. “By chance, was the cake you got for me made out of ice cream?”

You know how deep his love for sweets goes. You just pray and hope to whatever higher power that he chose the safe route and chose a normal ca—

“…Yeah, why?”

Jumping out of bed, you rush to the living room where the cake is probably spilling its guts out all over your expensive, mahogany coffee table. “You IDIOT!” 

A string of curses follows you out into the hallway, as Satoru sits on your bed confused.

“What’d I do?!”

Whether you liked it or not, you were stuck with this bumbling idiot if he had any say in the matter, an invisible string keeping you two bound.

And maybe it wasn’t that bad.

Even if it’s at the cost of your ¥20,000 table.

if you read this far, we're fucking making out.

[nishloves]

NAVIGATION;

MAESTRO;

nish | age : 18+ | enf/tj | affiliations : @kflixnet , @c-bouquine , @caratlibrary , @svthub | semi-hiatus

LALALI;

guidelines , svt masterlist , anime masterlist , moots

SPELL;

recent works

seventeen : how they eat you out(m)(hc), hate it when you cry(m) , you love him and...(lc)(f)(d) , please cry (a)(d) anime : be late- gojo (d)(a) , blue eyes- gojo(f) , hate it when you cry- multi(m) , burden- gojo(a)(d)

CHEERS TO YOUTH;

for recommendations, click on #nish recs or #nish recs : anime tags on this post.

read guidelines before requesting/interacting.

INBOX : OPEN , REQUESTS : CLOSED.

[nishloves]

cruel; sukuna ryomen

warnings : blood, gore, violence (abuse) // words : 650 // synopsis : a fan-made past memory of sukuna as a child // pic edited by me // masterlist

The chipped nails scratched the wall as the prodigious child winced with every kick bestowed upon him by his teacher. Not a sound leaving his lips as he bled, the crimson hues staining his body as he mustered his courage to stand up again and getting hurt again and again with the brutality of the elder. He hissed at the new bruise formed on his stomach as his eyes trembled slightly upon looking at his teacher.

The world was vast, magnanimous, the world was... perplexing; how could the other kids smile when the same discipline was inflicted on them everyday? How could they run around with their cherry arses and jump in their mother's embrace?

The parents are just supposed to be teachers right? Why did their mothers keep up with their impertinence? They weren't obliged to hug back, were they?

"Prodigy? You're just an insolent brat, unable to even keep up with an average sorceror like me!"

bam.

"Disgraceful pest!"

bam.

The words stung him, as much as he lived his childhood under the watchful eyes of his parent— teachers, as much as he had heard the same words again and again, they stung.

The little boy covered his head as the older man's kick was directed towards his skull, making the child fly away and slam on the wall as the pink-haired clutched his body.

Be numb to the pain you disgraceful child, show your power to me, what is your worth? his mother's words rang in his ears as he glared at his father with venom dripping from his eyes, numb. numb. numb. Be numb to emotions. His instincts overcame his consciousness as a single word— a word even foreign to him slipped past his busted lips.

"Cleave."

The people were... more fragile and weak than he had expected them to be.

He looked at his father's shredded body as the servants rushed towards their master with horror; screaming and huddling towards the slices while the man, who was almost unrecognisable now laid there lifeless, like a baggage to the world.

Ryomen had never considered himself to be able to show emotions— to be able to laugh or cry as freely as he saw others of his stature do, but despite his personality a giggle erupted from his chest, his pupils dilating as he laughed like a mad man while the servants looked at him, horrified by his work.

"Who else should I test myself on?" His voice boomed against the training grounds as he saw his mother rush in front the gate, wailing and falling to her knees as her hands flailed around, trying to put her husband back in one piece, a deep chuckle left Ryomen's lips as his mother looked at him, her eyes watering as her lips spilled profanities, she had never ever seen him with such intensity.

"You ruined everything! A disgrace! A calamity, a- a curse! The shaman was right, you're the mayhem reincarnate!"

"Thank you for birthing me, mother." He grinned.

"Cleave."

And so the massacre of the Sukuna clan was concluded by the hands of an eight year old.

By the hands of the disgraceful one, the one who took up the ominous name and lived with it, mocking the ones who mocked him as he weaved around their own clan name, no one would remember his teacher, but everyone would remember Ryomen.

The world was grand for sure, but it was cruel too and Sukuna Ryomen vowed to be crueler.

He was going to rule the world after all.

[nishloves]

*giggles*

oh hi

[nishloves]

I'm on my periods and crying reading haikyuu. nice day.

you jokingly ask them if they’re using you for your body

characters: bokuto + kageyama + iwaizumi + (gn!reader)

summary: how they would react to you jokingly asking if they were using you for your body

warnings: suggestive things, pouty boys

notes: i came up w this literally as i was in bed about to sleep,,, idk y’all––also i hope this isn’t offensive to anyone, it’s meant to be lighthearted and not serious at all !! + trying a different format for this one so we’ll see how i feel about it

part one | part two | part three

Keep reading

[nishloves]

am i a terrible person to laugh that hard at this ?? T-T

when your moral compass friend is dead

[nishloves]

I loved it, i really did

Oh god, the angst <//3

𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬

pairing: gojo satoru x fem!reader

summary: you find yourself in a marriage that you never wanted in the first place. your husband seems to hate you and you begin to wonder if anything you used to think of him was even true. who would have though a marriage to gojo satoru would be so difficult?

warnings: 18+ mdni, arranged marriage, misunderstandings and just not talking shit out, mentions of cheating, slight angst (with comfort), eating out (fem! recieving), fingering, gojo doesn't really know how to husband for some of it

word count: 10.9K (whoops)

note: i think there's gonna be a part two for this but idk when. i really had a lot of fun writing this so reblogs and comments are always appreciated! as always, thank you to @jadeisthirsting for beta reading <3

jjk masterlist

never did you think that you’d be stuck in a marriage to a man who didn’t love you, but there’s a first for everything. 

you should count yourself lucky that he’s not old and bald. he’s pretty. in fact, he’s the prettiest man you’ve ever seen. his eyes are the bluest, bluer than the sky. his hair mirrors the winter snows, and his back ripples with muscles whenever he fights. 

his agility is unlike any other man. he fights swiftly and cleanly, never taking more than a couple minutes to get rid of whatever it was that stood in his way. he’s charming with his words (or so you’ve heard), and he knows how to make somebody swoon if he really wants them to. 

and he seems to despise you.

you had known gojo since you were a child, the two of you running around each other's fields as you chased him with your wooden sword. you remembered watching him in training, wishing him good luck whenever he went on a hunt. you could even remember how he would stutter whenever he tried to talk, something he must have worked on because he never seemed to stutter anymore. 

he was always nice to you, his cheeks rosy whenever you kissed him goodbye. he was kind back then, grinning brightly whenever he saw you. 

but as time grew and you with it, and it was only a matter of years before the two of you went your separate ways. it didn’t help that once he turned thirteen he had to leave for training and fighting in whatever it was that was needed of him, but you had hoped that he would be able to write back. 

you would send him letters whenever you could, it was tradition whenever the two of you were separated for too long to do so. each letter telling him about new experiences and embarrassing things that happened in your life, but he never responded. you liked to send one every week, sometimes including little tokens you thought he might enjoy. but you stopped sending them after the first two years and stopped asking about his whereabouts after three. 

but you were hopeful that when you saw him that night so many months ago, he’d be civil with you. you were nervous, sure, but who could blame you? you had recently gotten news that his time to serve his clan was over and that he was finally back home. it wasn’t as though the two of you had left on bad graces, so you were hopeful that he would at least remember you. but he could barely meet your eyes whenever you tried to catch him from across the room, acting as if you had never existed. 

he looked so different since the last time you had seen him. he was taller than most of the people in the room, his white hair just as bright as it used to be. he had gained muscle mass almost everywhere, and you felt yourself wondering just how much training he had to go through to look this way. you could see him talking to a girl, a smile on his face as he tilted his head to look at her better. you gave him some time to socialize, not wanting to intrude on anything. 

after an hour you decided that it was long enough, and tried to weave your way through the crowd to get to him. you had tried to call out to him, waving to him despite your mother quickly shoving your hand down, saying how improper it was. he heard you and you knew that he was purposely ignoring you, so you began to feel heavy-hearted after a couple of attempts at trying to catch his attention, eventually giving up. 

and now, despite you wanting to, you can’t even blame him for hating you. 

ever since your mother caught you, alone with him, a man you hadn’t seen in so long, she had swiftly and promptly proposed the idea of marriage only a few days later. it was really to save face for the two families, but it helped that this marriage would unify the two clans. 

you were sure he had ladies lined up to marry him, and you weren’t somebody he was actively trying to pursue. you didn’t even know if he was in love with somebody else if he shared a connection with a girl who was surely not you and cursed you for taking that away from him. 

not that it mattered now. 

all you wanted was to reconcile, to catch up on all the things happening in your lives. you wanted to hear all the stories he must have racked up over the years, not for this to happen. all the things he wanted for himself were ripped away because of one night from one simple act of kindness, and so you couldn’t find it in yourself to hate him for the way he acted.

you rarely come down for dinner whenever he’s there, but when you do, you feel those eyes turn icy, tracking your every movement till you sit down opposite of him. he doesn’t say much, just mutters a quiet “good evening” and you’re sure he’s only doing it so the maids don’t start to gossip. 

whenever your hand brushes his you feel him snap back, flexing his hand as though your touch burned him. he rarely came by to ask you about how you felt, and so you stopped trying to act kindly towards him if he didn’t want anything to do with it.

any semblance of romance you had dreamed of as a young girl quickly dissipated when you realized your husband wanted nothing to do with you, so you didn’t try to pursue any sort of love, deciding it’d be easier if he just did his part and you did yours so the two clans wouldn’t worry. 

he was always gone, which might be the best for the two of you. when he’s not training new men then he’s gone in a hunt. if he’s not in a hunt then he’s somewhere in his endless home, hiding away. 

you don’t know if he does this for him, for your sake, or for everybody else. 

“did you see your husband this morning?” one of your maids said excitedly as she tugged the undergarments over your raised arm, a gleeful smile on her face as she rambled about something gojo had done. you couldn’t help but return a smile of your own, although it didn’t quite meet your eyes. 

“yes, briefly. he’s busy with having to worry about the feast,” which wasn’t a total lie. you’d seen him hurriedly brush past you, quickly glancing at you as if he had forgotten you were his wife. you felt your chest tighten up with the way he glanced at your hand, and then quickly left. 

it was only a few nights away and you knew that it was the only buzz of news anybody seemed to talk about. unfortunately, for you, it meant having to socialize with other clans. you were fine with that aspect, you’d been doing it since you were young, but this time they had a right to be nosey. you knew there would be endless questions asked about the honeymoon stage of your marriage, to which you had no answer. 

sure, you’d been making up answers to hypothetical questions, but you didn’t know what gojo would be answering with, so you were only praying some of your responses would line up. 

for a night the two of you would have to pretend to be husband and wife, and while the people around you knew you were anything, you knew you had to commit to the role for the sake of you and your family’s dignity. 

but all this worrying isn’t good for your head, you could already feel the pang as you squeezed your eyes to try and get rid of it. you tried to move on from your worries, going to comment on her necklace, it seemed new, but a knock interrupted you. the two of your heads popped up, looking at where the sound came from. 

“come in!” you called out, buttoning up the last bits of your top as you thanked myra. she nodded, bowing as she went to open the door. you could hear her faint footsteps, not bothering to look up as she greeted the person behind. you guessed it was franchesca coming with the fabric samples. 

“sir,” you heard myra say, and your head swirled around, only to see the topic of your conversation make his way into your room, excusing your maid with a swift motion of his hand. she glanced once at you and then to him, ducking her head as she left, closing the door behind her as she left you two alone. 

you felt heat prickle at the back of your neck as he looked at you and then to your room. the two of you slept separately, as per your request the first night. you couldn’t bear the agonizing silence between the two of you, and he obliged. 

he was dressed for sparring. he had a loose-fitting tunic on, and pants that would allow him to move freely and without constraint. it was in moments like these that you were reminded of the fact that gojo was the strongest warrior that any of the clans had seen, that the child who once splurged on sugar in his tea was capable (and has done so before) of taking down entire armies. 

he had matured so much since what you last remembered from him. he no longer acted rashly nor spoke without thinking about what it was he wanted to say. but you still saw him eating sweets with the same fervor he did as a kid, and it never failed to make you smile, hiding it behind your hand so nobody could hear your quiet giggle. 

it had been a while since it was just the two of you, alone, and all you could think about was that night. your cheeks heated up just thinking about it, and it seemed that gojo could tell your discomfort with the way he cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair as he began to speak. 

“good morning,” he started, his eyes darting around, never setting on yours. it was funny if it didn’t cause your heart to hurt irrevocably, at how the strongest warrior in all the land could barely look at his wife. 

if only you knew.

“good morning.” you offered him a quick, disingenuous smile, moving around until you found your vanity, rummaging through your laid-out earrings as you kept your back to him, not trusting your face to give you away if you were to look at him for too long. 

you heard him take in an audible breath, but he continued whatever it was he wanted to say. 

“with the feast coming up, i want to clear some things with you,” you turned around, looping the earrings in as you nodded for him to continue. it was such a shame he was so stunning, effortlessly attractive as the sun caught off his cheekbones, bouncing off of his chest. he rested his hand on the hilt of his sword, and you wondered if being here was just as painfully awkward for him as it was for you. 

“we should act like we’re…” he trailed off and you felt yourself itching to leave, knowing what he meant without having to say it. 

“in love?” you finished and he slowly nodded, gnawing on his lip as you brushed past him, going to find the mirror so you could adjust your jewelry. you could see him fidgeting in the corner, and for once you could see a hint of nervousness and unease on his features. 

and a part of you hurt. you would never admit out loud that you harbored a crush on him for as long as you could remember. it hurt knowing that you acting like you were in love was perhaps the lost genuine form of love you could show. 

“what if they ask about the night we met?” you ask after a couple of seconds, looking up from what you were doing. deep down, you knew somebody was bound to ask. even if it was just your mother who had caught the two of you alone in that garden, the news of it somehow spread (she was always one to talk). 

he scratches his head, shrugging as he eventually settles on an idea.

“just tell them the truth.” 

the truth. 

tell them how he followed you after you had run outside, sick to your stomach after a man, who was as old as your father, had introduced himself as a possible suitor. how gojo, the most ruthless warrior in all the land, had carefully put his hands on your back as you retched, offering you a towel he had fetched from inside to clean yourself up. 

tell them how you hadn’t seen him in years but the first thing you had done was to hug him tightly. how his hands wrapped around your back as though they were the only things keeping you afloat. perhaps they were. 

tell them how he murmured words in your hair to bring you back to reality, his thumb running up and down your arms to calm you down. how it seemed like even though it had been years since you two last saw each other, it felt so right, so normal, to be back in his arms. 

tell them how he had looked at you with such worry, such care, unlike anybody else had looked at you, and you for once felt safe in somebody’s arms. 

tell them how your mother found you two in such a compromising position, with your head nestled in his chest as he tried his very best to soothe your cries. it was humiliating and embarrassing to be caught with a man you had only seen back in your teenage years, and especially so in such a vulnerable position. 

you shake your head, scoffing at the idea, “i’ll just come up with something,” was your answer and he nods along, realizing how the story would be too private to share with people you barely knew.

“and we need a reason for why,” he cleared his throat once again, pink dusting on his cheeks as his eyes dropped to your stomach. your eyes met his in the mirror, and one of your eyebrows raised, “well, you’re not exactly looking like you’re carrying a child at the moment.” 

you quickly looked away, the tension in the room increasing as you moved away from the mirror, doing anything you could to keep your hands occupied. you flushed at the comment, your throat drying up as you glanced at your stomach.

the two of you have barely touched, much less been intimate with each other. you were glad he hadn’t forced the idea onto you, instead, leaving it to you to bring up the topic. you only talked about it, once, the night of the marriage, and then never again. you knew that it would have to happen eventually, but you couldn’t do it right now, not with your state of mind. 

you scrambled to say something. in all honesty, you had been dreading this question. you hadn’t been answering any of the letters your mother sent, and you knew people were expecting to hear the news of a pregnancy. 

“we’ll just say we’ve been so busy and preoccupied with the politics of marriage that we couldn’t… consummate.” you offered and he just shook his head, pinching the bridge of his nose as if this was the biggest inconvenience to him. 

you knew that this marriage was brought upon quickly and before either of you could object to it, but at least you tried to hide it away. if only he hadn’t acted so rashly that night, his hands on your shoulders, eyes bewildered as they racked over your figure. if only he had been more careful, or you were smarter in picking some place to be more concealed, you wouldn’t be put in this position. 

but neither of you was thinking ahead, and here you were. but he was certainly making sure that you knew of his contempt for this arrangement far more than you were. it was irritating, it scratched at your skin and ate away at your mind the more you saw each other.

“look,” he couldn’t take his eyes off of you, off of the way you were fiddling with the ring he had delicately placed on your hand so many weeks ago, “i can come up with whatever they ask, so just try your best to do the same.” you say, your voice tinged with anger, the ring on your finger acting as an anchor to the depths of the sea with the way it weighed down your movements, feeling your chest swell as he stayed silent, watching you as you opened the door. 

“i don’t-”

“um, i won’t be joining you for dinner, so don’t wait on me…i apologize, i need to work on some things for the feast…have a good day.” you swiftly murmured, shutting him in your own room as you left, your heart thumping erratically in your chest as you almost ran down the hallway. 

you had no idea how you were going to persuade the masses that this marriage was working if you couldn’t even persuade yourself. 

---

the feast of clans came earlier than you expected. 

you found yourself perched at the end of the table, gojo next to you, your stiff bodies mirroring each other as the people around you joyously helped themselves to the vast variety of food offered. 

you could barely touch the meal in front of you, your stomach churning uncomfortably with the sheer number of people that surrounded you. back home, you hated these feasts, opting to leave after a couple of bites and finish the rest of what you could pocket in your room, but here, as the clan leader's wife, you had no such luxury. 

“are you not hungry?” you looked to your side, gojo staring at your plate and then to you, his eyes squinting as he tried to decipher what you were feeling.

“i can’t eat,” you murmured, playing with your utensils as you swallowed thickly, “i don’t do well in large crowds.” 

he nodded once, looking out into the sea of bodies as he inched a little bit closer to you. he was donned in expensive fabrics, although his hair still messily fell all over. the candle that was lit in front of you had different hues of oranges and reds bouncing off of his pale skin, and if you didn’t know any better, the blush on his nose and cheeks could have been from the frigid winds from outside. 

“i’ll have myra save you a plate,” he said, giving you a curt smile as he went back to eating. 

you were momentarily taken aback by his comment, but tried not to show it, going back to fidgeting with your ring as you looked at the sea of people. nobody had thankfully come up to you and bombarded you with questions, but that didn’t mean that it wasn’t going to eventually happen. 

“thank you,” you say, glancing at him and then back to your plate. 

“anything for my wife,” he replies. it’s only for show, you remind yourself, after all, when was the last time he referred to you as such? 

“gojo,” an old man had walked up to your table, his face lined with wrinkles and a beard, dressed in orange as he offered gojo his hand to shake, “i’m glad to see that you finally settled down.”

gojo blushed deeply, trying to offer him a smile as he motioned to you. 

“it’s hard to resist marriage when such a woman offers it.” he says, and you feel your eyes widen as you try to laugh off his statement. 

“yes,” the old man chuckles, eyeing the two of you. he looked familiar, and you were sure you had seen him around these sorts of gatherings before, “it was only a matter of time before it happened. we all knew just how much you liked her back when you were children.”

the two of you sputtered on your coughs, and you felt a little smile grow on your face as gojo did what he could to usher the man away. 

you could tell with the way he shifted uncomfortably in his seat that gojo wasn’t expecting that, and before you could realize what you were doing you found yourself talking. 

“i’m not a fan of feasts.” you quickly said, the words tumbling out of your mouth before you could stop them. it’s not like you felt you owed him an explanation, but you said it regardless. 

gojo looked up from his plate, grabbing his cup so he could wash down his bite. 

“any feast?” he asked, and you could feel the way the air shifted. he was glad you brought up a different topic. 

“one’s as big as this,” you twisted your ring back and forth on your finger subconsciously, “i get nervous in big crowds.”

“i remember,” a small smile grew on his face as he thought back to when the two of you were children, “you would hide under the tables and force me to come with you.” 

you chuckled, blood rushing to your ears at the fact that he remembered this about you. it was the bare minimum of what you remembered from him, but you had convinced yourself that he had washed every memory of your last selves from his mind. 

a rush of distant memories came to your head; nights spent under the tables, laughing as you two tried to keep your voices down as you tried to dodge the feet. you could still hear his whispers of staying quiet, trying to sneak out so he could smuggle in some pastries for you to eat.

“the adults scared me; they were always loud and insistent on asking personal questions.”

“like they are now?” he replied back, a tilt in his voice as you nodded feverishly. 

“yes!” you covered your mouth with your hand as you let out a laugh, a genuine one as you tried to look as put together as you could, “i swear, it’s even worse than when we were young. just the other day a wet nurse came to me and told me the best positions to get into when giving birth!” it really was a mortifying moment, your eyes darting all around as the old lady even took it upon herself to demonstrate the movements, but gojo didn’t seem to mind, laughing along with you. his eyes twinkled as they took in your giggly state, years since he had last seen you like this. 

“i feel like i should apologize,” he starts, having to cover his own infectious smile as he ducks down his head in shame, “i had her sent up to your chambers.”

your mouth dropped open in shock, lightly smacking his arm as he grinned at the look on your face.

“to mortify me so that i would never leave?” your thumb moves your ring back and forth and gojo watches you as you do it. 

“you seemed sick at breakfast, but i guess she thought it was a different sort of sickness.” gojo tells you as he cuts off some of his meat, not knowing just how much his words affected you. 

you had forgotten how simple and easy conversations were with gojo. although this was under a guise to fool people, you felt at ease with him, as if you didn’t have to be on guard with your emotions when he was around. 

“do you still want to hide under the table now?” he asked a couple of seconds later, chewing on a potato as you shrugged, looking around before your lips grew into an apologetic smile. 

“…yes,” you admitted bashfully and he smiled at your honest response. 

“if you want to hide, i’ll-”

“satoru!” a booming voice interrupted your endless spiral of thoughts as the two of you glanced upwards at the sound, “it’s been too long!” 

a man with hair as dark as night and a smile wider than any ocean had come up to your table. he was the first one to do so all night, but gojo didn’t seem bothered by it. he seemed to smile, crescents forming around his eyes as he took his friend's hand.

“too long,” he emphasized with a charming grin, motioning to you and then back to the man in front of you as if he suddenly remembered the two of you and never met, “suguru, this is my wife, y/n. y/n, this is one of my oldest friends.” 

you extended your hand outwards and the man, suguru, took it, placing a soft kiss on the back of it as he shot you a playful smile. he wasn’t at the wedding, but then yet again, it was a rather quick one. the only people who had attended were your families. 

“it’s a pleasure to meet you.” he greeted, and you nodded in agreement, sitting back down next to gojo. you felt his long fingers reach for yours, enveloping your hand in his as your heart sputtered at the touch. 

“likewise,” you answered and the man grinned politely before he slightly tilted his head, looking at the two of you sitting next to each other. 

“he’s not bothering you, is he? i know satoru can be fiendish when he wants to be, so call for me and i’ll take care of him.” he teased and you could only smile tightly and laugh along, gojo’s fingers slightly tightening around yours as he moved your hand to rest on his thigh. 

“i can take care of him when he’s fiendish. i just have to take the sugar away, right?” suguru snorted and gojo glared, but it was playful the way he looked at you. 

his hands were warmer than you would have expected. you could feel the indents of calluses on his fingertips, could feel his thumb moving back and forth on your skin in a calming sort of manner. he didn’t look over at you as he did it, playing it off as second nature. 

“i apologize for not having much time to get to know you, but i have something i need to talk to gojo about. would you mind? it will only take a minute?” he asked, and gojo let go of your hand at the time of his friend's voice. you had to control your urge to roll your eyes, shifting in your seat as you motioned for suguru to talk to your husband, watching as he stood from his seat, leaving with the man as they went somewhere a little more secluded. 

you watched as gojo leaned down to hear whatever it was that suguru was whispering in his ear, pulling back with a frown on his face. he snapped something that only caused suguru to reel back, cast a quick glance at you, and then shake his head in clear annoyance. 

you saw gojo look up, his eyes landing on somebody from across the room, and you followed his stare, only to land on a girl. 

she wore a dark yellow tunic and skirt, colors from a neighboring clan. you hadn’t seen her before, but that didn’t mean she wasn’t known. just one look at the men surrounding her and you could pick up on their lovesick expressions. 

she motioned for gojo to come to her with a bend of her finger, slyly brushing her hair out of her face to make it look as though it was nothing, exiting from the dining area and vanishing into one of the halls. 

you looked down in case either of the men glanced over to see if you were staring. your eyes pierced through the meat on your plate, bile rising up your throat. 

you gave yourself some time, counting up to a minute before you looked back to where suguru and gojo were, finding suguru standing alone. you looked at where the girl was and saw a flash of white hair before it disappeared, your heart sinking as you glanced back at suguru, only to find him looking at you. 

you looked back at your plate, picking up a knife and fork as you stabbed the meat. you couldn’t keep anything down but it’s best to pretend.

---

gojo didn’t return until half an hour later, and you refused to talk to him. 

“did anybody bombast you with questions?” he teased, his smile not quite reaching his eyes. he didn’t seem to pick up on your darkened mood as your fingers dug into your dress. 

“i had a woman ask me if you had disappeared with your mistress, but that was it.” you remarked, silence filling the void between the two of you and you realized that all you had thought of him was crumbling down. 

you didn’t care for your image anymore, giving curt answers to any questions somebody had asked. you could feel his stare on the side of your face but you didn’t humor him in looking over, focusing on your plate instead. 

so what if he was seeing somebody else? you would have been naive to think that he wouldn’t wander. the two of you barely touched each other. 

once all the guests had left over the course of the following days, you did everything you could to steer away from gojo. 

you no longer came down for breakfast or dinner, choosing to eat in your own quarters. if he wanted to have his own secrets, he could do whatever he pleased. 

though you rarely saw suguru after the feast, he did try to talk to you the morning after it took place. he cornered you after you had left from breakfast, his once playful demeanor turned serious as you tried your best to end the conversation. 

“what you saw last night-”

“is none of my business,” you finished, raising your hand as you cut him off, “if gojo has his own private matters to deal with, i’m indifferent to them all.” 

“you know that’s not what it was.” his hand hovered over your arm, careful not to touch you but not wanting you to leave either. 

“i ruined his life, didn’t i?” you tilted your head a bit in questioning. after all, that’s all you could hear from the women who gossiped as they folded the laundry, or behind the hands of the girls who watched you and gojo interact and the mothers who wanted their daughters to be set up with him only sneered at you from across the tables. 

“you…where’d you get that from?” his brows scrunched together in confusion as you scoffed, hoping he couldn’t see the tears welling in the corner of your eyes at the sting of your own words. 

“i can see it on his face. if gojo wants to have his own affairs, he can have them. it’s not like we’re in love. hopefully, i find my own way out so that the two of us look happier and this marriage looks somewhat presentable to the public.” 

you didn’t want to see the look on his face, but you’re sure he reported this all back to gojo because he didn’t look at you once after it. 

you heard from a maid a week later that he was gone for another meeting with a clan, a southern one from what you picked up, and that you should probably go and wish him some luck. 

leading up to the night of his departure you anxiously paced around your room, your feet padding on the floor as your nightgown swished behind you. 

you hadn’t talked to gojo at all that day, and purposefully so. 

it was petty, you know it was, to not want to see him, but a part of you still aches when you look back on that night. at how he didn’t explain where he was even after you asked, at how it was suguru he had sent to fix his dirty work for him. 

“y/n?” a muffled voice came from outside your door. 

your head shot up at the familiar sound, quietly dragging yourself out from your bed as you grabbed the candle, hovering on the other side as you waited for him to say something else. 

“are you awake?” you heard a soft thud from his side, almost as if his head or arm had hit the door. 

you didn’t answer, still, waiting. 

“i’m leaving tomorrow and i wanted to see you before i left.” your heart skipped at his words, careful not to make a sound as you near the door. 

“if you’re sleeping i won’t bother you anymore but if you’re not,” you could hear the old stutter he had coming back, his words meshing together as he tried to regain control, “and you’re choosing to stay quiet, i…” he sighed, his forehead thumping down as he rested it on the door, “i wanted to apologize for the feast. i shouldn’t have left you alone, and if you’d open the door, i would explain why…” he could see the flicker of the candle from underneath the crack, and saw the way it blew away, darkness following suit. 

you walked back to your bed, turning your back to the door as you set the candle down on your table. 

“goodnight,” his voice was quieter than before, and you felt guilty, but pushed the bitter feeling down.

a couple of seconds later you heard him let out a sigh of defeat, his footsteps leading away from your bedroom as you curled into yourself, hoping you would let your heart stop taking control of what your head should be doing. 

---

gojo didn’t return for a while, and you grew more impatient by the day. 

it normally took him and his men a week at maximum, and once two had passed, you felt yourself growing uneasy. 

you tried to act as passive as you could, but even myra could pick up on your growing apprehension. you have never voiced your worries over your husband before, but she knew this wasn’t like any other time. 

when you went to bed, the only thing you could dream about was that night, your brain re-running the images as you tossed and turned. 

“are you alright?” he asked, his hands on your elbows as you could barely speak, your blurry vision impairing your sight. you could only see a mop of white in the darkness, your stomach betraying you as you tried to keep the sick down. 

“i don’t feel too good,” you mumbled, trying to put some distance between the two of you as you pushed him away, only to feel him coming closer as he placed a hand on your forehead and then to your cheeks. 

“you’re burning up,” he muttered under his breath, guiding you gently so that you wouldn’t trip over your feet. 

“i’m sorry, you can go back inside, i don’t want to keep you out here.” you were slurring your words as you tried not to throw up on him. you wiped at your eyes so that you could see him better, only to reel back in utter shock to see the face of your childhood friend frowning down at you. 

your mouth formed in the shape of his name, going to say something else, before you hunched over, feeling his strong hands pat your back and keep the hair out of your face as you felt your world tilt on its axis. 

you ate your dinner at the table, eyeing his empty seat as you tried to shove his last night out of your mind. you shouldn’t feel this way, especially about a man who feels nothing towards you, but your little heart was churning in its confines the more you let yourself think about it.

sitting in the same spot where the feast took place only brought back the venomous taste in your mouth, and so you pretended that you were back home, eating somewhere without the worry of your life weighing you down like a thousand weights on your shoulders. 

myra tried her best to distract you, but she could see the distant look in your eyes, how your voice never seemed too genuine. she began to worry for you, but it seemed like your mind was fixed on one thing. 

until you found yourself pacing around your room, just like you were the night you last heard of him, playing with the ring on your finger as the moon carded through your window. 

“my lady,” you heard myra through the door, her voice shaky and a bit more on edge than usual, “there’s-” but before she could finish it slammed open, revealing the man you’d been biting your nails over, standing in the flesh.

his eyes were a dark blue, squinted as they looked right through you. his chest heaved as he looked like he was trying to catch his breath. you could see the streaks of blood that lined his usually clean clothes, the red that stained his cheeks and jaw. 

he looked feral, and it was throwing you off balance. 

“out.” he snapped at myra, and before you could scold him for his tone she fled, the door shutting roughly behind her. 

the two of you could only stare at each other. you didn’t know what to think after weeks of uselessly worrying over him, not knowing about his well-being, to see him here, in front of you, but looking different than he ever had. 

“are you alright?” 

you could barely get it out, the works sticking on your tongue as you took a tentative step forward, not knowing what to do with his state of being. 

he eyed the blood on his shirt, wiping at his cheeks as if he had forgotten it was there. he didn’t look too dirty, less dirty than one would expect from a five week endeavor through the woods, but he didn’t look too good either. 

“you were awake.” is all he says, his chest still moving up and down as though he couldn’t breathe properly. 

“that night i came by, you were awake. i saw your candle, i heard your footsteps.” he says this as though it’s fighting its way out of his mouth as if it’s all he could think about to tell you. 

“i,” you pretend that you don’t care, shrugging, “i wasn’t up to talk.” 

“you were with suguru.” he snaps, his tone shocking you, and he steps back as if he had shocked himself. he jammed his palms into his eyes, tilting his head upwards before he looked back at you. 

“for five weeks you were all i could think about. i wanted to come back, i wanted to tell you what i felt but we kept running into issues with other tribes and clans.” 

“what could you possibly think about that occupied your mind for five weeks?” you so desperately wanted your voice to come out strong but it sounded weak, as though you were hanging off of his every syllable. 

“you had told suguru that you were going to find your…own way out,” he took a step forward, and here you could see the scratches on his chest, the cuts on his arms, “i was praying to every god there was that you hadn’t found somebody in these past weeks, that you hadn’t…”

you could barely believe his words, not knowing if you should feel offended, shocked, worried, or a mix of all those three. 

“what business would it be to you if i did?” you hate that this was the response you settled on. hurt flashed across his face but he tried to regain his composure. 

“you are my wife-”

“and you are my husband!” you snapped and watched as he was momentarily taken aback by your outburst, but you continued your nose flaring, “you cannot argue with me on this when you left with some girl in the middle of our feast!” you felt all your emotions finally pouring out and you had no control over them, “everybody was talking about it, everybody was looking at me in pity!” your voice cracked, tears poking at your eyes as you pointed an accusatory finger at him. 

gojo looked down, running a hand through his hair as he pointed a finger back. 

“if you had let me explain myself, you would have known that she was trying to do what you thought she was. i left as quickly as i could but you would barely look at me!” you wanted to rip your hair out, cursing yourself for ever feeling any sort of worry for this man. 

“i know that this marriage was the last thing you wanted but at least you could play the part of a husband! you didn’t send a single note, anything to tell us that you were okay, that you were alive!” you heaved, fidgeting with your ring as you wiped at your cheeks, “and you come back here accusing me of adultery? all everybody could talk about was the fact that you were warming somebody else’s bed! they said a meeting never takes this long unless something…somebody else comes up.” your voice wobbles at the end, and you find yourself furiously rubbing your tears away, hiding your sniffing as though that would do anything.  

he paused upon seeing you cry, his face falling as he tried to step forward but you angled yourself away from him, hoping he’d get the hint. 

he wanted to hold you, to tell you that all the rumors you were hearing were false and that the only room he had left in his heart was for you. but he couldn’t blame you for feeling or thinking this way. hell, he was so sure that he’d open the door to find another man comforting you that he didn’t even stop to consider what must have been going through your head all these weeks. 

“one of the clans tried to attack us, and we weren’t ready for it. that is why we took so long.” 

you sniffle again, not caring for his explanation although it did soothe a part of your past self. 

“you could have at least sent a letter telling me what happened,” you fidget with your ring, your thumb running over the diamond, “everybody asked me questions that i should have had answers to, but i had no idea where you were or what you were doing…” he nods, his lips pressed into a thin line as he agreed with you. 

“you're right,” his voice was thick with emotion, the words slurring in his mouth as he found himself anchored in place, not knowing what to do. but you were rambling, your thoughts going on and on and you couldn’t stop yourself. 

“…but i know you don’t like letters, so the least you could have done was send a parchment saying i’m alive or something like that.” you rub at your nose again, feeling like all the weeks of worry we’re coming to a standpoint. 

he looked confused now, if anything, and scratched at his jaw. 

“what do you mean?” 

you scoff at the audacity, rolling your eyes as you feel anger prickle at your skin. 

“you never once responded to any of my letters. in my eyes, that must mean you have some sort-”

“letters? what letters?” 

you glance at him, taking in his shaking form. 

“come on gojo,” you feel embarrassed as he urges you to speak, having to spell it out for him, his eyes pleading with you to continue, “the ones from when you left for training.”

his mouth opens and then closes, looks at the ground and then back up to you as he shakes his head. you could hear your fireplace crackling in the background. the only sounds circling the room were the pops of ember and your breathing. 

“i…” he feels like there’s cotton in his mouth, hoping that you’re lying, “i never got any letters.” 

the fire crackled once again and you could almost hear a pin drop as you shook your head vehemently at his statement. 

“n-no, no you did. i wrote to you every week, i sent one every week for two years and you never responded and my mother said that you must have forgotten about me…” and you trail off, the tears in your eyes stoning as he furiously wipes at his own eyes, and for the first time since you had seen him fall down when he was a kid, you saw his own tears staining his cheeks. 

“nobody gave me your letters. i thought that you,” he takes a deep breath, tongue poking inside his cheek as he tried to control himself, “i thought that you didn’t care for me anymore.” 

you hug your midsection, your emotions running wild at his words. 

“i was under the impression that you hated me.” you admit, and he looks as though you stabbed him through the heart. if only others could see the powerful warrior now, stripped bare to his conscience and all he could think about was you. 

“why…why would you think such a thing?” you two inch closer without knowing it, longing to touch each other, wanting to know that the other was really there and that this wasn’t a figment of your imaginations. 

“gojo, you could barely looked at me that night at the gala and now it seems as though you, well, look at you - you’re flushed!” you’re grasping at straws, motioning towards his face,  twinged with pink as you rub at your nose, “you seem angry whenever i am near-” 

“the only person i am angry at is myself.” gojo whispers, but his voice echoed around the expanse of your skull. 

“yes, i’m aware,” you feel cold despite the fire in the corner, your tone carrying an air of know as you scorn, “i know the last thing you expected by comforting me was a marriage but-” 

“you think i am angry because i married you?” he was moving closer, his hands shaking, his eyes wet. you could see the ring on his finger glow in the dim light of the fireplace, how it shined brighter than any of the night skies, “the only good thing that has happened to me these last few months was being able to introduce myself as your husband. i know that i stripped you bare of any love you may have had for any other man, but call me selfish for feeling glad that i did.” 

you could barely focus on what was happening, his words sinking deep into your skin, going to your bones. 

“i told myself that you had forgotten about me those years i left. when i saw you that night i was so sure you had come with the intention of finding a suitor that i didn’t want to distract you, but then i saw that man come up to you…” and he couldn’t finish, choking on his words as he stuttered, and you saw a glimpse of the boy you had fallen in love with so long ago. 

“and i followed you out. if i knew that simply being alone with you would have gotten me married to you then i would have cornered you in a closet the moment i saw you enter the dining hall.” 

a tear rolls down your chin, splattering on the ground beneath you as you struggle to make sense of what he was saying. it felt as though the months of being married to him were weeks spent pacing around your own rooms, thinking the same worried thoughts, and not having the strength to confront each other about it. 

“you…you don’t hate me?” your voice is timid, almost not believing yourself as the statement tumbled out. gojo had the audacity to laugh a bit, shaking his head as strands of his hair fell into his face. 

“my every waking moment is spent thinking of you. when i was in training, you were all i could dream about, hoping that when i’d come home i could finally have you to myself. 

“you have control over my emotions, my mind, my soul, and i cursed myself for taking away your options for a husband, but the only thing i’ve wanted to do these past few weeks was to hold you in my arms. to tell you just how deeply i yearn for your love back.” 

he wiped at his cheeks, glistening in the faint light. he looked angelic, despite the grime and blood that decorated his clothing. you didn’t want to think about the men he had killed just to come back, to come back to you, and the thought of ever losing him hurt you more than when you spent nights wondering why he never responded to any of your letters. 

you couldn’t stop your feet from leading you toward him, and you could only watch as he met you in the middle, catching you with all his strength, holding you as if you weighed nothing, and it only took a few seconds before your lips collided. 

it was rushed, and messy as you felt his hands holding you as if you carried the weight of the universe. your teeth clashed, your tears staining each other's skin as your hands gripped at his hair, using it for leverage as he slipped his tongue into your mouth, enjoying the whimper that escaped your lips when he nipped at yours. 

it was what years of longing and desperation felt like. how it felt like you two just molded into each other as if your bodies were cut out with the other in mind. you felt like your heart was about to stop beating, and you knew gojo felt the same with the way he’d whine against your lips, wanting you more than you could have ever imagined. 

“we’ve been stupid people, haven’t we?” you whispered as you pulled away, trying to catch your breath as he smiled against you. if only you knew just how much he’d been wanting to kiss you like this, to see your swollen lips as you looked at him from beneath your eyelashes. you were his venus, his only saving grace, and he could only vex himself for ever making you feel anything but love. 

“very, “ he pressed a kiss to the corner of your eyes, “very,” to your nose, “stupid,” his lips were on your cheeks, feeling like he was breathing in new air at the sound of your laughter, “people.” he pressed his lips to yours again, cherishing in the way you whined at the harshness. 

he had spent months convincing himself that you no longer cared for him. weeks of perilous training to only come back to a bed and dream of a girl who didn’t share his emotions when in reality you did. he wants to track down the letters you had sent him, to read every word carefully, as if each sentence carried its own riddle inside of it. he wanted to apologize for never having the honor of experiencing your skilled penmanship, for leading you to believe that he had simply forgotten about you. 

“gojo,” your fingers curl in his tunic, your heat transferring, trying to be rational in such an irrational state of being, “you’re bleeding, i should call for the doctor.” he didn’t stop kissing your face, moving to your jaw as he smiled hearing you shudder. 

“it’s not my blood,” he murmured and you wanted to smack him for how cocky he sounded, “and don’t call me gojo.” he nipped at your lips again. 

“husband?” you found yourself smiling at the title, but he shook his head. you saw how he was trying to hide his own grin. 

“sire?” you tested it out teasingly, hating how it sounded. he seemed to agree with the way he grimaced at the name. 

“my lord?” he wanted to bottle up your laughter forever, knowing he could get drunk off of the sound. his nose nudged up at your jaw, pressing wet kisses wherever he could. 

“hmm, what about my liege?” you're curling a strand of his hair around your fingers letting him settle you down on your vanity as you spread your legs so he could slot between them. 

“my men call me that.” he says, cringing as it falls off your mouth. you pretend to think, not knowing how you were able to live without this banter for as long as you did. 

“satoru?” you felt breathless saying it after so long. but he still didn’t seem to find it satisfactory enough, a pout on his lips as he wanted you to find a better one. 

“close, but only when you’re angry with me.” you tuck that information in the back of your mind for if you ever need to scold him, your cheeks flushed as he interlocks his fingers through yours. 

“‘toru…?” his lips broke into a giddy smile, and you had to control yourself as he swooped back in for a kiss. his eyes were so much softer when he laughed, the kind ones you fell in love with so many nights ago. 

“there it is,” his voice was husky, raw as your fingers gripped at the baby hairs at his nape. he was taking your air away with him and you couldn’t find it in yourself to fight back for it. 

“i forgot how cheeky you can be,” you bite your lip to keep the moans inside, feeling feverish as his tongue ran over his love marks, not knowing what to do yourself as you scrambled to grab onto something to keep you afloat.

“you have no idea how much self-control it’s taken not to ravage you,” his breath is hot on your skin, and he’s tugging at your shirt, fingers slightly brushing upon your breasts, “every night you’d come down for dinner i wanted something different to eat.”

“stoppp,” you mewled, not used to this. he chuckles as his slender fingers work to untie the knot keeping you together, tugging at the string until it falls, revealing your naked chest, heaving as the fabric pooled at your hips. 

you wanted to cover yourself up under his heavy gaze, to take the fabric and hide, but you felt pierced by his stare. his eyes darted to yours as if checking to see if you were okay. when you gave him a timid nod, it seemed as though it prompted him to finally move. 

his fingers were gentle as they ran across your waist, large as they covered the soft of your stomach, eager as they went upwards. he looked like he was crazed and starved, as if you were his last meal and he couldn’t wait for the sweetness death would give. 

your breath stuttered as his fingers found your mounds, rubbing a soothing thumb over your nipples as his pupils grew. he was eager as he flicked them over and over, a cheshire grin growing as they hardened under his touch. 

“you’re perfect,” he murmured, dropping down so he could suckle at your tits, his spit shining in the light of the fire, and you tilted your head back, soft moans escaping as his tongue drew circles around your buds. 

“f-fuck, ‘toru, that’s,” you couldn’t even finish your sentence, his second hand coming to cup your other tit, not wanting to leave her unattended as he sucked and bruised, wanting to forever leave his mark on your untainted skin. 

“good?” he’s so cocky, and you want to smack the smug smirk off his devilishly handsome face. 

his knee is purposefully rubbing against your clothed clit, and you feel yourself subconsciously rubbing yourself against it. you hope that he can’t feel how drenched you are from him just sucking your tits, but he pinches you, pressing his tongue flat against your skin as he looks up through his lashes.

“horny from just me touching you?” he’s teasing you, it’s so painful the way you want, need him like oxygen. you tug on his hair roughly, bringing his spit-soaked lips back to yours as you bite down on his lower one, enjoying the groan you draw out from him. 

“don’t be mean ‘toru,” you taunt, and you feel him melt in your fingers, nodding to your request as he lowers himself down. 

he presses wet kisses down your torso, stopping just above your hips, his fingers hooking along the rim of your underwear, being careful and slow in his movements as he waits for any objections, making sure you’re okay with this. 

but you were in your own world, hitching your leg over his shoulders, drawing him in closer to you, sweat dotting your forehead as he licks a stripe over the cotton on your pussy, smiling to himself at the taste of you. 

you were so sweet, sweeter than any desert he’d indulge himself on. he was sure that once he had a taste of you he’d be able to repent, to go before any god, and to tell them that you were his religion.

he had spent countless nights, tossing and turning in his bed, the only thing putting him to sleep being the idea of coming home to you. running after you that night was him running home to you, regardless of where you were. he was glad he got your hand in marriage, but if he had to, he’d wait another ten years just to hold you in his arms again.

he peels your underwear off, a string of your arousal connecting to it, and he tucks it in his pants, for safekeeping. 

“you’re going to be the death of me.” he says against your heat, his nose rubbing against your clit as your eyes wring shut in pleasure. his hands grip your thighs, making sure you stay in place as he kitten licks around where you need him the most. 

“don’t let…don’t let any of your enemies hear,” your voice comes out in bits, your hand resting on the back of his head as your leg tightens around him, “don’t want them to come after me or something.” 

he snorts, pinching your thighs as if anybody could come within a ten feet radius of you without losing an eye. 

his lips come closer to where you desperately want him, a finger prodding at your tight entrance, his tongue finding your clit as he begins to suck. 

it’s all too much, the sensations far better than your own fingers have ever proved to be. 

his fingers are skilled, long enough that they reach deep within you. he sinks one fully in, your walls clamping around him as he continues sucking your clit, his teeth grazing it every so often, making your head thump against the wall. 

“talk to me, how do you feel?” his mouth discontented from your bud and you whine at the loss. he sinks in another finger to make up for it, but he doesn’t move them, waiting for your response. 

“‘s good,” one of your hands is fisting your discarded robe, trying to hold onto your senses as you desperately nod, “don’t stop ‘toru, please,” and he obliges, loving the sounds of your begging, but loving the sound of your pleasures more. 

his fingers stretch you open and you welcome the sting, your nails digging into him as you long for more. 

he switches his mouth with his hand every now and then, his tongue taking the place of his fingers as it licks at you, groaning at your taste as he eats you out with his entire being, his chin shining with your essence and his spit as his thumb rubs furiously at your clit. 

“mmhhh, just like that, fuck!” you’ve never heard your voice at this pitch, never knew it was possible to feel this way. his other hand reaches up to flick at your nipple, the extra sensation making white dot around your vision. 

you feel yourself getting closer to the sweet release, feel your wall clamp around him even tighter as that knot in your stomach builds to a crescendo. 

“come on, let go f’me, know you want to, know you can.” he spurs you on, his fingers unrelenting as they piston in and out of you, reaching that gummy spot that makes you go dumb.

“fuck, ‘toru, m’gonna, m’gonna come!” you cry out and you’re sure anybody walking past you could hear the debauchery. your thighs were starting to shake and you felt it all go black as you reached your high, your orgasm washing over you unlike anything you’ve ever felt. 

you creamed around his fingers, gushing around him as you wailed out, tears dotting your eyes from the overwhelming pleasure you were feeling. you squeezed around him, wanting to never lose what this felt like, trying to catch your breath as his mouth never stopped sucking at your nub before he was sure your climax was over. 

when he finally pulled away the only thing that could be heard was the two of you, trying to come back down as stupid smiles made their way onto each of your faces. 

he was boyishly charming as he stood in front of you, licking yourself off of his fingers as he grinned at the taste. you couldn’t be bothered to be embarrassed after having him just between your legs, but you still felt a heat blossom in your chest. 

“so…” you awkwardly start, sweat dripping down your face from just how hot the room had suddenly gotten as you avert your gaze, “what now?” 

he shrugged nonchalantly, despite the fact that his heart was about to beat it’s way out of his chest. you let him pick you off of the vanity and tucked you safely away into his chest as he led you to your bed, gently setting you down in your mountain of pillows and blankets as you felt sleep etch away at you. 

“i’m going to clean you up,” he pressed a kiss to your hair, smiling at the way you giddy smiled at whatever he did, a dopey grin on your face as your hand searched for his, interlocking you fingers with his as if you didn’t want to watch him go, “if you let me.” 

you yawn, your head tilting as he sat down at the edge of your bed, still not letting go of your hand as your fingers run through the soft pelts beneath you. 

“and what about you?” your chin points the obvious hard-on growing in his pants. he looks down as if suddenly realizing, and he plays it off by looking back up to you with a wink. you felt your mouth going dry at the size of it, not knowing if you could even be able to take something as big as that. 

“for another day,” he promises, and you’re sure he’s not going to forget it. not like you want him to.

“and then?” 

your question lingers in the air. you don’t want to wake up to him acting like this never happened, as if your feelings were only a figment of your wildest dreams. but his eyes hold onto yours, never letting go as he brushes some strays away from your face. 

“and then i get a bigger bed for my room because there’s no way i’m letting you sleep here alone after this.” his thumb runs along the palm of your hand, his fingers tracing patterns into the soft of your legs. 

“and then?” 

“and then you tell me all the things i missed out on when i was gone. i’ll tell you about the time suguru shaved my head, and you’ll tell me about anything on your mind.” 

“what if i run out of things to say?” sleep is overtaking your voice, and you’re already nodding off, not even truly knowing what you were asking. 

“then i’ll make up stories so that you’re not bored.” he finds a clean towel, soaking it in water from a nearby pitcher as he drags it slowly across your body, as if your fragile and made of porcelain. 

“how do i know you’re not a dream? you might just be,” you yawn, rubbing at your eyes as your finger traces his ring, “you might just be my own mind tricking me.” your eyes are shutting, but the teasing smile on your face never leaves. 

“because a dream wouldn’t hide under a table with you if you asked.” he whispers, kissing your lips with a soft peck as he pulls the blanket over you, letting you sleep into a slumber as he crawls in next to you, holding you to his chest just as he did that night, just as he will every night from now on, and just as he longed for those nights he wished you next to him.