#ninkaku

[yoseno]

he's been trying to get her all month. has tried many different settings. just outside the office, her own apartment, and even going as far to hold the damn thing over his head himself and sidle up niiiice and close to her. with no luck. as a last resort, dazai has now strategically taped the worn bunch of mistletoe to the top of the infirmary doors, and is now waiting patiently outside the door for her to exit, after knocking with a false sense of urgency just to get her moving. when he's eventually met with the sight of her furrowed brows, he simply points upwards, as they are both now stood directly underneath it. :D

if she squinted, she could see the silhouette of him hanging outside her door through the opaque glass, magentas narrowed into slits as she waited a beat. fingers curled over the small clipboard as though she debated even getting up from her seat. out of pure spite and pettiness, of course. and amusement, in watching him suffer just a little from her pseudo - obliviousness. the doctor knew him well enough, could read him through the smallest of expressions or the small whine that'd leave his lips quietly but not so quiet that she couldn't catch it — to which she assumed was pointed on his end. her steps were slow as she approached, and movements even slower as the door opened to reveal a holly - jolly detective agent with an arguably unattractive holiday sweater and candy cane hair clips ( curtesy of kyouka ). now facing him, side leaning against the doorway, she can hear the soft music playing from the main space. she doesn't look up to see the faint tint of green hanging between their heads, just slightly out of view. “ my, you are persistent. ” ends of brims twitch as she resists a smile, failing once he shakes the mistletoe above them a bit more aggressively that the small plant is rustling with force. “ and dedicated. ”

pads of fingertips dance over the front of his sweater before clinging to the slope of it, tugging him down to her height, lashes fluttering as she breaks the focus of his intense gaze. he smells sweet, a concoction of december delicacies, and she can feel her heart thumping in her chest. no doubt he would hear it. “ you can have your gift a little early, i suppose. ” she murmurs against his lips, words nearly muffled between them as the distance is closed before she could finish speaking. arms are wrapped around his shoulders, weight shifting so that she stands up taller to fall into his embrace fully, soft hum burying in her throat when she feels his hands settle on the curve of her waist, and then tightening his hold around her frame. she doesn't care that anyone could come across them in such a state at this moment, only that his kisses make her dizzy, and that she could not get enough. it is especially challenging when she just barely manages to pull herself back, much to his reluctance, lips brushing against his as she mutters, “ you can open the rest of your present tonight. ”

[ahrabaki]

i want you. COUGH who said that

WHO SAID THAT? SHOW YOURSELVES

[hellshovnd]

@ninkaku Dazai wrote: ❛ this fear you feel? it won’t last. ❜

Akutagawa's never one to regret his decisions, especially not ones who teach him how to survive. However, the more time he spends under Dazai's mentorship, the more he finds himself truly lacking. He had thought himself brave, capable of handling anything thrown his way. Rashomon devours his enemies and friends alike should he wish, nothing would touch him but their blood in the end.

Yet the man in black subverts all his expectations.

There's a barely contained tremble before Rashomon lunges for Dazai. A defense reflex, a failed one as the black tendril dissolves upon the man's touch and the deafening sound of a gun echoes throughout the building.

His breathing is erratic. Eyes blown wide as he stares at the spot where the bullet disappears into the bleak creature's mouth. Had Rashomon been any more delayed that would have been his end, had he he stayed arrogant to think he could reach the man, there would be no more chance at all.

Still, his mentor speaks of fear.

'It won't last.'

Even in this the mafioso astounds him. But Akutagawa realizes that he is right. In their line of work, fear should be discarded. If the bullet's won't come from Dazai, they'll come from someone else with a bigger will to put him in a coffin.

"..." With a stagger, he straightens up. Eyes fixed on the older as he tries to save composure, even if his legs still shake, even if his fists grip tight. He's still too stubborn to admit anything. A slowly subdued rabid dog in training.

"... Again." But even then he knows that he'll have to fight for the chance. Dazai's not one to be generous should he fail, and he feels that right now he failed his mentor, hard.

"Let me try again."

[avichor]

🔥an unpopular opinion of ur choice

this is a two parter but. the villainization of people having FRIENDS on tumblr dot com will never not be baffling to me. like this has been a topic for as long as i've been present in any rpc platform, where ppl are guilted for having friends and prioritizing interactions with friends. it's not a clique, not in the way ppl are using it as an insult or as a means to invalidate people's circles. there are instances of cliques, i think, or just groups of people who interact solely for the intent of being miserable freaks but i never actually see people talking about that. it's always someone getting upset about something and resorting to calling a group of friends a "clique".

and when we have friends, we typically share the same values and mindset, so like, YES! if someone did smth gross ( beyond petty stuff ) to my friend, why would i want to continue to interact with that person ? the "well, they didn't do it to me, so........." is actually sooooooo mind boggling to me and really gross! friends don't expect friends to behave a certain way, it's just respect and consideration for each other. bc i value how my friend feels more than continuing interactions with someone that's virtually a stranger or plain acquaintance. ( which also kinda leads me towards the perspective that ppl throw out the word "friend" too easily here when you're acquaintances at best ). with all that said, there are, of course, nuances. there are instances of ppl weaponizing friendship to guilt ppl into reacting a certain way or cutting ties and thats freak behavior!

[lovefeastarc]

1, 4 + 7 <3

1. what does your URL mean, and why did you choose it?

it's inspired by this quote — i'm obsessed with religious imagery, especially the ones found in catholicism. abstinence is a common motif or technique that's prominent in widely practiced religions, but something that i feel is heavily emphasized in the christian church. abstinence is seen as the primary solution to reach some form of absolution. i also see abstinence however, as a way to deny yourself something, like love, in exchange for something less fulfilling. love is something you are meant to gorge yourself on, but we've been conditioned to abstain from it. i feel like a lot of the characters i'm drawn to kind of lean towards that, so it kind of fits!

4. what genre do you primarily favour?

i will always be a huge fan of crime, dark academia and urban fantasy! i also like them with a small sprinkling of slice of life but in the sense that i don't always want to like. write action packed, tension filled stuff or fight scenes 24/7. i like writing out meaningful, introspective stuff too that fleshes out a dynamic. think intimate conversations and situations, little found family moments, conversations between siblings and found family, domestic moments, love confessions between lovers, "i love you" "it'll pass" kind of stuff — that sort of thing! give it to meeeee.

7. what universe have you never even considered writing in, and why?

there are a couple that i don't really see myself writing in and haven't considered, but the first one that comes to mind is probably m.arvel? there's a lot of comics material out there that it feels overwhelming and a lot of my knowledge is based off the current media released. i know a lot of people aren't super into that (and for good reason). i never considered writing in it because i feel like with the way some of the fandom acts, if a person doesn't know every single comic released and what came out "first", they're shut out or even bullied for not knowing. same goes for d.c and st.ar wars. i might be convinced though, the right people just need to ask :P

munday asks <3

[sarastuss]

📏 + 5’11” !!

send me 📏 (ruler) + your muses height &. I'll compare them to mine!

[enypneion-aa]

hello :eye:

hi :eye:

[wistrea]

are you taking me to the place we had dinner last time?

❛    last time?     ❜   words echo from his mouth to hers, as kira delicately wipes away the stain of crimson from her lips, not to be mistaken for the same red she painted her lips with. it takes her a moment to remember certain things, especially after a job like this one had been. masks had a habit of prying out atrocities from within the depths of the psyche, such dense secrets that tend to cloud her own mind as she feasts 'pon secrets both petty and soul - crushing alike. still, after a few seconds, it draws on her again once her mind was her own : a scenario not completely unlike this one, fatigue and the feeling of hunger that followed not long after. the faces, though fleeting in her memory, were different, but dazai's remained somewhat the same. it elicits a snap of her fingers as kira seemed to regain her composure, back straightening and free hand perched on her hip. ❛    ah, the place with the really good cold soba? i'm surprised you remember that.    ❜

still, she waves a hand as she fished out her car keys from the right pocket of her suit. hopefully, she hadn't gotten carried away this time and they still had a car to drive them ... maybe even a wheel. ❛    no, no. it's been too long since we've had a meal together, which is why a special occasion needs a change of scenery! what do you feel like having, darling? steak? udon? curry? ooh, curry sounds good, we're having that ~   ❜

@ninkaku

[theircurse]

✦ . 　⁺ 【 @ninkaku / STARTER CALL. 】 ⁺ 　 . ✦

↳ -: ☆ ( Shamelessly stolen from [ X ] ) ☆ :-

˗ˏˋ *ㅤ★ㅤ‿︵ㅤ˗ˏˋㅤ❛ㅤOf ALL the illegal things I’ve done , this is probably the LEAST illegal .ㅤ❜

[yoseno]

happy birthday how would u like to perform my autopsy as a gift

while you're alive? :D

[crimcpnish]

@ninkaku has inquired: ❝ i'm doing some of my best work here and you don't even have the decency not to roll your eyes at me. honestly, it’s hurtful. ❞

There was NOTHING but an amused glare into deeply wine colored eyes as he stared at the valuable chess partner that sat across him, after all, he has heard so many different types of whining coming from the man and each were less genuine than the other. . .

he expected nothing less from DAZAI OSAMU but a beautiful canon that had a starter point followed by countless imitations of it, at some point you might even forget what even was the dux point except that all sounds that come after it are no more than just that : an imitation with different tones to it.

there was nothing but glare at the other, before a hum escaped those thin lips followed by an amused chuckle as he finally closed his eyes in thought, carefully picking his cards on what needed to be said.

❝ Your melody, as charming as it is, don't carry much power at the moment. . . Maybe it's about time for you to change the tune, I might change my reactions to match your tempo, Dazai-Kun. ❞

[ahrabaki]

“ i don't know if that was ever somethin' agreed upon. not my fault y'can't take what ya dish out. ” a beat. “ did y'even do your trainin'? so weak, still. could take you. easy. ” some foolish double entendre. he couldn't help the air of laughter building within, but none of it was particularly funny. perhaps, at first. perhaps, in the early stages of this hastily thrown - together plan to thwart a russian asshole but as expected with the conditions of most missions, it'd gotten too real. opened wounds that chuuya hadn't anticipated to expose, all the while playing the role of an unfazed vampire. sometimes he wondered if he would prefer it that way, the mindlessness of it all. to simply do without thinking or feeling a thing. he wasn't sure he could fully comprehend it without it being the antithesis of his being — always felt too much, mind full of everything he couldn't fully understand. not a second of silence, save for the quiet rumblings that reverberated within. he wasn't an idiot, he could feel the air of discomfort passing between the two of them, this awkward, stupid dance they were doing as though it could absolve the words said.

knee - jerk reaction to shout in alarm as he felt that familiar grasp over his face, brows furrowing and twitching with the natural instinct to defend himself. muscles tensing and fists forming as he fought the urge to kick him directly into the stomach just to escape his hold. “ hah ?! ” nearly muffled as his mouth widened for his inspection, storms flickering towards that wretched, wretched hand wiggling. definitely a rendition of what had to be his worst nightmare. “ an' y'think i' ng'n th'mood ? ” firstly delivered without his mouth fully shut, the fangs definitely not helping. his own hand was quick to swat at his chest, but it was meekly executed. he wanted the plastic out, and it clearly wasn't working when left to his own devices. he continued to glare at his ex - partner, releasing a stubborn huff before twisting in place, trying to maneuver his body so that he was comfortably facing him. shuffled closer, resting over his knees. “ no promises. ” struggled to emphasize the 'p', with a defeated grunt. cheeks were warmer now, slightly tinted to a light hue of pink. he'd decided if he said one word about it, he would punt him. it would have been more humiliating if they weren't alone, and for that, he was grateful that the damn helicopter was nowhere to be seen. / @ninkaku

the idea that dazai would be the last left alive, alongside dostoevsky, was becoming further grounded in reality with every passing thought. whatever grand plan he might have had, he'd had to toss it out of the proverbial window and start from scratch. chuuya's first passive response had him clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth, idly wondering if he did expect some sort apology, and whether dazai truly had it within himself to deliver one that wouldn't even be faked with sincerity. the next words that left him were something more to play to, dazai looked away as ordered, doing him a favour and ignoring the lisp, and watched the smoke breeze past their silhouettes before the shove to his shoulder had him hissing, head whipping back to cast a glare right at the centre of chuuya's face. he rolled his shoulder, the bad one, and scowled at him. “ watch it, idiot. you were supposed to take it easy. ” never seen ya this fucked, optics rolled, unimpressed, he fixed chuuya with a disparaging smile before his lips pursed, pouting both for the sake of the pain he'd been subjected to and the drawback to their failures.

“ not my finest work, i'll admit. ” breath released on an even sigh, wistful almost. his ego had suffered a blow, there would be no sense in pretending otherwise in front of chuuya, who by now could read him as easily as the palm of his own hand. he'd already replayed the events in his head several times, and it would do no more good to dwell on them any further. mistakes had been accounted for, his counter - strike against dostoevsky given the necessary tweaks considering the new information forcefully delivered. there wouldn't be much he could do until they left the facility, but dazai shuffled closer anyway to keep himself busy, chuuya's fruitless attempts at removing the false teeth bordering on annoying rather than amusing. reaching out a hand to grasp his chin and bring their faces closer together, dazai's head tipped as he inspected his ex - boss' handiwork, surely done for his own entertainment, but maybe with his previous protege's in mind, too. red hues narrowed in thought before he raised his free hand, gaze briefly meeting chuuya's as he waved his fingers at him, the look in them a gentle warning. “ don't bite me, i'm not in the mood. unless you want them stuck on there forever . . . ? ”

[wistrea]

you should know me by now.

if given a chance, they would have liked to shatter his mind and put the pieces back together again, just to see what he was hiding. and if they were to be told that there was nothing to hide, then it would be the first lie she would remember.

it was not a thought rooted in ill - intent, of course. simply driven by a morbid curiosity by which kira has made their living within the port mafia. kira cannot read minds or listen into one's thoughts. they can only indulge in the masks that everyone wears, whether hidden or displayed for all to see. it was a shame, perhaps, that they didn't have the opportunity to play with dazai's psyche way back then [ a repetitive thought that often wanders around their mind when thinking about a variety of people they've come into contact with before ] it would have been a lovely time ... for them, perhaps. the effects of masks when targeted 'pon another have never been accused of being pleasant; akin to a hand prying into your mind and reaching for the most rotten parts in between the fissures. kira has felt it themself far too many times for them to be able to forget it.

dazai's words elicit an amused hum from them as they simply smile, though it never quite reaches their lips to bother trying to fool him into thinking it was real. a criticism on their skill, perhaps, to play into their pride? insinuating that if they were as good as they say they were, they wouldn't have had so many blanks to fill regarding trying to piece his mask together in her mind? still, they do not seem to find any offense to it, as they simply laugh with a palm delicately placed before their lips. ❛    oh, but what's the rush? just because we had meals together before, doesn't mean were were friends. i bet you couldn't even tell me my childhood dog's name, and that breaks my heart!    ❜ 

❛  we may not be working under the same organization anymore, but i think that's all the more reason to take my time getting to know you. you'll be rendered dull and boring in my eyes if i knew everything already.    ❜ their smile seemed to widen, ❛    and i don't want that to happen yet.    ❜

@ninkaku

[theircurse]

✦ . 　⁺ 【 @ninkaku / STARTER CALL. 】 ⁺ 　 . ✦

↳ -: ☆ ( Shamelessly stolen from [ X ] ) ☆ :-

˗ˏˋ *ㅤ★ㅤ‿︵ㅤ˗ˏˋㅤ❛ㅤWhere do you PLAN to die alone ?ㅤ❜

[reawaken]

on frosted ground lays open a bottle of sake, ochoko's, of which one remains full while the other is drained and messily refilled, and an untouched box of curry that has long since chilled. the dawn of the new year breaks in an explosion of sound across the city. the skyline lit in a brightness that looks like a stellar phenomena at this time of year, mirrored on the lakeside as the tide rolls through and tousles dazai's hair with saltwater wind that nips at his cheeks and the tips of his fingers. he sits beside fresh flowers that he did not leave, head tipped back against engraved stone as he stares at the sky and maps the smoke from the flares trailing across as a reminder of radiance so short - lived. the irony. glasses clink, another bought of celebratory lights flash and illuminate his name before letting the nightfall shadow obscure it again. “ happy new year, odasaku. ”

[ahrabaki]

he tried not to focus on the way his voice sounded different — the petulance of it all still heavily saturated and not to be missed, but shakiness with some will to live. or so he would hope. it had to be a form of masochism on chuuya's end. it was pure selfishness, what he hoped for. the architecture of port mafia headquarters were not designed with ease of access in mind but rather an emphasis on difficulty, the first level of protection should unwanted company breach their outer security. long, winding hallways and stairwells, elevators with only specific clearance, misleading directions and dumbass grunts still trying to figure their own way around the property. everyone had so much shit on their own plate they couldn't bother to pay mind to the blood trail following their movements, to the indistinct whining of their precious teen - executive. perhaps they hesitated because of the glare of the gravity manipulator, the lingering ferocity. only the foolish would attempt to separate double black.

“ hell're y' yappin' on about ? i carry you all the time. ” he sniffed, shrugging his shoulders to boost him up once more as soon as he felt him slipping. not that he hadn't noticed the lack of effort on his end, footsteps slower. out of the corner of his eye, he could spot the blood soaking through the bandages and he couldn't tell if it was just earlier or if he truly had done a poor job at one simple task. the panic returned tenfold, nestled in the center of his chest and he picked up the pace, practically dragging him alongside. shoes squeaked over onyx linoleum, and he could hear his breathing slowing. “ y'know what's even more unfair ? ” heaved out, flash of anger leaking. “ findin' my partner bleedin' out. ” again. jaw clenched, sharp huff broke through. “ ever thought about gettin' a different hobby if you're so shit at it ? ”

he took a few more steps before stopping to quickly and effortlessly scoop dazai up into his arms, one just under his shoulders and the other hooked under the bend of his knees. “ 'm only doin' this because you're too slow. ” he muttered, tongue clicking over the roof of his mouth before taking longer, faster strides. he would start running if not for the concern that the impact of it would exacerbate matters. “ don't talk too much. just tap me or somethin'. one for yes, two for no. ” he breathed in, tongue swiping over his bottom lip. anything else, he could try to decipher. “ y'gonna hold on for me ? ”

dazai could barely manage to find joy in the simple fact that he'd forced chuuya to care for him, the world a haze of colour and sound numbed by pain and blood loss. each time chuuya jostled him and his hands moved, dazai's throat stung and he made a pathetic sound in the back of his throat, half real and half for show, until they paused and chuuya set him against the wall, dazai tipping his head back against it and catching his breath. he found himself confused, frown tugging at the corner of his lips, as at the same time dazai thought it should be anyone but chuuya to see him like this, he stood corrected by the fact that nobody but chuuya held the right. quite the conundrum, and one for him to turn over in his head until he figured out the reasoning.

under chuuya's careful ministrations, dazai went pliant beneath his hands, moving where he was directed and singular auburn hue studying his face when he wasn't looking. the knee to his side forced a scolding breath from him, replaced by a hitch when chuuya's hands slipped beneath his shirt, the tips of leathered fingertips meeting warmth. one hand came to gently wrap his fingers around chuuya's other wrist, nose scrunching. “ not dying. unfortunately for everyone involved. ” he played it off as pain instigated by the added pressure to his throat, the smallest hint of a smile twitching at the corners of his lips until it fell, disappointment etched in the crease of his brow at the thought that if he hadn't provoked violence from their enemies, hadn't bared his teeth at them in a wolfish smile that begged to be wiped from his lips, chuuya's hands would meet the heat of his skin in reward of their achievements, behind a locked door with and with all the time in the world to explore, not lead by a muted panic and too soft for his liking.

still, the warmth in chuuya's cheeks was not lost on him, the apology rousing a hum from him in recognition of the loss of contact. “ don't be ... so chivalrous of you. ” an opportunity for him to sour at the fading touch, his own hand dropping chuuya's wrist when he instead targeted dazai's own, sighing. dazai allowed him to pick it up only to drop it when he got what he wanted, the skin now uncovered but soon hidden by his falling sleeve. he hissed and tried to squirm away as chuuya secured the stolen bandages around his neck despite the mindfulness of his touch, but was forced to settle beneath hands that then brought him to his feet, dazai's arm slung over his shoulder. “ chuuya's never carried me. ” he started, pout in the tone of his voice as he let his weight fall to the offered support and deliberately falling into him slightly. “ what's the point in all that strength if he won't use it ? so unfair. ”