#ninjago angst week nightmare
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knowledgequeenabc · 1 year ago
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Ninjago Fic Rec Week: Day 3
I have not been making posts for this week because heehoo what is energy or time to remember what I’ve read BUT I have a few suggestions for today if not many. Enjoy First fic is Saturniidae, an older fic from ShinyShiny9, author of Fantastic Mr. Walker! Angst fic about the ninja team having outgrown each other post-s4, and the Ultra Dragon, and the dismay of growing up. Has a dark subplot with Kai that you’ll be familiar with if you read Fantastic Mr. Walker. It’s technically my fault this fic exists and I will never stop regretting/being thankful for that
My second fic is ALSO from ShinyShiny9, only posted on her deviantart and flagged for mature themes, so you will need to log in to read it. ^^; but if you’re willing to do that, Two and a Half is a deceptively angsty fic about Lloyd’s favorite number and all the ways it’s served him through his life, and what the Golden Master prophecy means for him in Rebooted.
I’m going to be that person and toot my own horn just because I’m genuinely proud of this fic but if you can handle eye horror, See No Evil is a dark Kai fic about a mission in a rural forest gone wrong due to supernatural reasons. Comes with pictures!
My main purpose for making this post was to rec Shiny’s fics so now I’m struggling to add to this post without adding the Fandom Greats that everyone will probably recommend already, because my memory sucks, buuuuut...
I’ll start this next one by saying that I would recommend basically all of @scrambledfluffmuffins fic (Dr. Fluffmuffin on FFN)’s repertoire of fic, for their lovely, nuanced takes on all the characters, from the main 6 to Wu and Garmadon! In keeping with the angst theme, I am specifically recommending In Warm Colors for a delicate but devastating exploration of grief in the wake of Kai’s death.
Genuinely unsure how to summarize this one, but Whisper is a long, epic tale of the ninja and their fight against darkness, with extensive lore and magic. Lots of deep moments to let all the ninja shine, but Kai and Nya in particular play a huge role.
@lloydskywalkers is an author who needs no introduction, but presented with the chance to terrorize you all with some of her less-known fic, I can’t refuse. Introducing the fic that literally gave me a nightmare, fears is a bad-end AU of season 2′s finale. Lots of angst, lots of death. Lloyd is a broken boy.
This untitled oneshot by her is also an extremely good angsty fic exploring Jay’s psyche after he runs into Cliff Gordon but fails to speak to him until after his death. :’) Wonderfully painful
This is a whole SERIES but I still recommend it; the Remember series by Bluepaw265 documents Kai’s journey, trying to keep his family alive through each foe they face, and the difficult path with Lloyd as their destinies drive a wedge between them. It’s hard to summarize, but the writing style is light but gut-wrenchingly effective.
struggling to think of anymore I am so sorry almost all of these are on ffn but that’s how you know I’m Old
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lovelycreativetragedies · 1 year ago
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What if? 🤎
COLE ANGST // what if cole had never returned from the oni mist? ^ massive spoilers for s10 "March of the oni" ep 3, " the fall "
lego niniago fic, requested by no one( this is a re upload from my wattpad.) no trigger warnings! feel free to request.
follow me on wattpad for more frequent uploads + more fics. I upload on wattpad before tumblr:) ( @justwastingawayhere on wattpad)
the oni had been defeated. everyone in ninjago was celebrating, but not the ninja. They usually would be ecstatic, celebrating..Kai would be bragging. Nya and Jay would be relieved and hugging, Zane would be happy and cooking a nice meal, master wu and Lloyd would be congratulating everyone, Cole would be eating cake and celebrating. Cole.
Cole had fallen from the bounty into the oni mist, and after everything had been taken care of thanks to Lloyd and garmadon and everyone returned to ninjago, everyone turned back from stone and woke up. but.. Cole didn't. Cole was the only one who died. nobody could understand why, not even master wu, not garmadon, not Zane. everyone was sitting around after Coles funeral, nobody said anything. the air was quiet. the empty space that Cole usually filled with his cocky personality was.. gone.
NYA POV :
Nya sat at the front of the bounty. she couldn't cry. she just, couldn't. the stupid controls, if only you hadn't messed that up? you mess everything up. she thought. all she could think of was how scared Cole must've been when he fell. it was all her fault.
for days, weeks, months that's all she could think of. everyone thought she was so strong. dealing with the grief "so well" but in reality she just flung herself into work. no matter how many people she saved, it never filled the gap that was looming over her. all she could think of was how she couldn't save him. nobody noticed, except for jay. jay comforted her, but it wasn't enough. she was lost in her own thoughts. why did it need to be him? it should've been her.
KAI POV :
Kai tried to comfort everyone else. he never let his mask slip. not once. he made sure everyone else was okay, then he silently cried at night. you should've been able to catch him. was all he could think. maybe if he just.. tried harder. then he would've been able to grab him somehow, save him.
for weeks, all he did was lash out at people. if only nya hadn't messed up the controls, if only jay had grabbed Coles hand and pulled him up, if only Lloyd was there, if only this never happened. but it was all an act. he didn't blame anyone else, he blamed himself. it was his fault. somehow, he caused all this. he ended up being even more protective over the ninja. he had horrible nightmares, and he couldn't look over the edge of the bounty without having flashbacks. it was horrible. why did it have to be him? why did this need to happen?
JAY POV :
jay was in shock. he couldn't stop the vision of Cole falling from his grasp. over. and. over. he couldn't face anyone, not even nya. he felt like everyone knew that it was his fault. if he could've just... grabbed him in time. he was so stupid. Kai lashing out at him didn't help, and he became an even more anxious person. he was a wreck. he was walking on eggshells around everyone.
for years after, he would still think back to his failure. it haunted his waking days. he took up destructive habits, and bottled everything up. he wouldn't talk to anyone. and he was so scared of making another mistake. he had multiple nervous breakdowns, he didn't sleep, barely ate and yet he.. didn't care. he had failed his best friend. maybe Cole did deserve to be with nya all this time? he was so stupid for arguing with him so much. he would've done anything for just one more day.
ZANE POV :
zane couldn't figure a logical reason to why this happened. he wracked his circuits for months. he didn't do anything else. he couldn't do anything else. but there was no logical reason for this? it went against everything he believed in. his sense of self disappeared. what was life if he couldn't even rely on logic anymore? this cruel illogical world took his brother away. the only family he ever had.
he turned off his emotion switch. he was like a shell of the Nindroid he once was. he considered powering himself off multiple times, but he still cared deeply for his fellow ninja. they were his brothers, his only family. he spent every moment trying to make sense of this horrible tragedy, to find some reason in it.. but there was none. it destroyed him.
LLOYD POV :
Lloyd couldn't do it anymore. he couldn't be a ninja anymore. this was his breaking point.
he threw himself into more work, other work. things like habitat for humanity, things that "would make a difference in the world" he thought it would fill the hole in his life, give him any reason to keep going. but it didn't. he tried his best to help his fellow ninja, but he couldn't do that when he could barely survive anymore. he was a mess, and nobody could help. he was a "lost cause" in his eyes. nobody could help him, because he failed to save his brother. his fellow ninja. it wasn't fair.
MASTER WU POV :
Wu couldn't wrap his head around this. first morro, getting himself killed and now cole. it was too much for him to handle.
he completely broke down. he didn't mentor anymore, he was no longer " master" wu. he simply could not go on, knowing he failed to protect his student. he knew another master of earth would essentially replace cole in the next few years and he simply couldn't teach knowing that cole would be essentially forgotten. he held memorials, made statues, everything in coles honour. he wouldn't let his student ever be forgotten.
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art creds 🎨 : YUE_niniago on Twitter
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evesbeve · 6 years ago
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Alive - Pixane (Ninjago Angst Week - Day Two - Nightmare)
Fun fact: Pixal is one of the characters I struggle with writing the most, even though she is one of my favourites!
Anyway, this is one of my entries for Ninjago Angst Week. If you wanna avoid very angsty stuff, I gave this one a good ending. ^^
This takes place a few days after Hunted. Hope you enjoy!
Title: Alive
Franchise: Ninjago
Pairing: Pixane
Summary: Pixal could never work around the concept of nightmares. It's a good thing she doesn't have to deal with them alone.
Word count: 790
Read this on AO3 and FFN!
Green eyes shot wide open, while an open heart beat fast.
Time stopped around the girl, until she was conscious enough to scan her surroundings. The sensation of oxygen entering her system comforted her, stabilizing her artificial heartbeat.
Pixal would never get used to having nightmares.
She couldn't understand how something that was clearly unreal scared her so much. She couldn't understand why she was afraid to close her eyes again, how a part of her told her something would attack her if she did.
Ever since Zane gave her his heart, Pixal had started to see the world through a new set of eyes. It was as if her calculations didn't matter anymore, because nothing could predict how she felt everytime she discovered something new.
Imperfections like that always confused her. Scared her, even. Thankfully, most of the times, Zane was there to explain her feelings to her. But after he disappeared, Pixal had to force herself to work through them alone.
It was hard to believe Zane was back.
All this time, he was just trapped away from home. He was still alive.
The word 'alive' confused Pixal too. Every definition she found felt wrong. She couldn't quite put her mind on it.
Pixal sat up on her bed, leaning against the wall. She needed to run over the events of her dream again. To tell herself it was not real.
The Mask of Vengeance? In Borg Industries.
The Sons of Garmadon? Gone.
Zane? Alive.
It was so simple. So simple to tell herself, 'It's not real', but she couldn't.
The Mask of Vengeance was the only Oni Mask that hadn't been destroyed. What if the Sons of Garmadon escaped Kryptarium Prison, broke into Borg Industries, and stole it? What if they hurt Mr. Borg? What if they hurt Zane-
"I wasn't sure whether my ears deceited me, but it turns out you are indeed awake."
Pixal broke free of her thoughts only to see Zane approach her bed. She sighed in relief, relaxing her body.
"Mind if I join you?" Zane asked, and Pixal moved to the side, letting Zane sit next to her on the bed. Now they were both leaning against the wall, side by side.
"How did you-"
"I just had a feeling," Zane said. "It was like I sensed it."
Maybe it sounded creepy to someone else, but not to Pixal. The thought of Zane watching over her was comforting. She couldn't stand being alone anymore.
"What else did your insticts tell you?" Pixal asked.
"That you should be asleep," Zane said. "What happened?"
Hesitation. That's what Pixal felt.
"Hey," Zane reached out for Pixal's hand, and started rubbing it gently. "It's okay."
"I visualised something unreal," Pixal finally said. "It startled me."
"It's okay to say nightmare," Zane reassured her. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. I… Have them too. But you already knew that."
Pixal nodded. Zane was right. He always turned to Pixal for comfort, so why was Pixal hesitating? Maybe she got so used to dealing with it alone that she-
"Everytime I close my eyes," Pixal interrupted her thoughts, looking up at Zane, "and think of the Sons of Garmadon, of Mr. E, of the Oni Masks… I look back to that day. To the day you were almost gone, to the day you were actually gone… I don't understand."
"I'm not gone now though, am I?" Zane asked, returning the look. "I'm here."
"Yes, but what if-"
"Don't think about that," Zane stopped her. "Focus on the present. I am here now."
Pixal shook her head in disbelief. "I don't understand," she pulled her hand away.
Pixal really couldn't understand. If she knew her thoughts weren't real, why was she believing them? And if she wanted Zane to be there… Why was she isolating herself?
"Everytime," Zane led Pixal's hand on her chest, placing his on top of it, "your heart beats, mine does too."
Pixal's eyes drifted away to their hands.
"This is our heart now," Zane told her. "So as long as we hold onto our pieces, we have each other."
She couldn't understand.
"Pixal, look at me," Zane moved his hand from hers to gently lift her chin. "We're together now, okay? You don't have to be afraid anymore."
She couldn't understand how he could make her so happy.
"I love you," Pixal said, without thinking of it much.
Pixal noticed a small smile spread on Zane's lips, and she couldn't help but return it. The nindroid scooted closer to her, wrapping his arms around her. "I love you too," he whispered next to her ear, kissing the side of her head.
It was like Pixal finally knew what it meant to be alive.
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pufffinn · 5 years ago
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@ninjago-angst-week Day 1 - Terrified
Whoo, my first entry for Ninjago angst week! I've really been looking forward to this and I'm super excited to continue and see what's done. What can I say, angst fuels me.
Also, I have to thank @thelucariosfish because they're the one who gave me the idea for this. Thanks Chad!!!!
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sahara-solaris-solace · 3 years ago
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DestinyShipping (Morro x Kai) HeadCanon Angst and Fluff moment.
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Kai jolted away upon hearing another terrified shriek. He turned to his left and gazed sadly over the sorrow look of his husband who appeared to be struggling on something in his dream.
“Morro…”, Kai began gently as he brought the sad Wind Master in his hug, spooning him. It had become a daily occurrence and it had been 3 times by this week, more often compared to the last three weeks ago where it all started.
Kai couldn’t help but snarl over the misfortune strike upon his husband. Before he became a student of Sensei Wu, he too did not deny over the fall of humanity as many had suffered as the result of greed, corrupt, lust, arrogance…
“No, stop!!! Don’t hurt me! It was only a loft of bread”, it broke Kai’s heart as he reminisced his tragic childhood, wandered aimlessly around Ninjago, looking for food and home. Kai too shed tears as he cooed soft words to his left ear to tone down his anxiety and sadness. That worked as Morro slowly blinked his eyes and blankly glanced above the ceilings.
“Morro, you’re still in nightmare again. Pl… Please tell me to ease your pain”, Kai pleaded as he cupped on his husband’s cheek to meet with his lifeless orbs “I can’t stand seeing you like this over the past few weeks ago”
“It doesn’t matter”, Morro muttered emotionlessly as he chose to look at the ceilings for comfort “It was one of those unfortunate occurrences”
“Morro, we’ve been together for two years, got married for two months now. I respect your privacy but this has gone too much. I don’t want you to suffer. Please, Love… I love you. Please tell me”, Kai pleaded solemnly as he leaned in to kiss on his cold lips.
“It was one of those recklessness”
Kai remained quite as Morro continued in that blank tone “It was raining heavily that day, I had just succeed on getting a loft of bread to cover up for the remaining 3 days. The big guys, they usually dominate some territories to muscle up some grub in exchange for silence. I was so reckless. I was too cocky. I did get beat up and at some miracle, I escaped through a sewers. I ended swallowing the dirtied bread while crying. It was times like that where I wished I have parents. The world abuse us, Kai. It’s just too much”, Kai just stroke on his husband’s locks to console him. Morro just turned to look at his fiery wife and glued his forehead with his as he gazed lovingly at his teary wife, who couldn’t bear to see him in agony before he pulled Kai close to growl lowly
“They can tear me down, insult me or torment me but if they ever did any of those things to you and our future children, I will make sure they rot in hell”
Kai just clung to him closer to feel his heart beat and covered Morro with kisses over his cheek. Morro just patted on his wife’s head to ease their pain.
“I can look after myself, hmp!!!”, Kai turned sour as Morro chuckled as he rubbed his left hand on Kai’s tummy.
“Someone has to look after the children mother. How can we all live happily where my Fiery is not with us??”, Kai just frowned before he pounced on top of Morro and tickle the hell of it, earning a chuckle from Morro. Morro just massaged on his wife’s hips as he suddenly turned bolder when Kai was flipped and slump his head on the mattress before he found himself naked before Morro cascaded his own clothes on the floor, his bulky shoulders glistened from the moonlight, making Kai blushed over Morro’s Godly appearance as Kai covered his lithe body with his hands. Morro turned kinky as he pinned his big palms on Kai’s sides of head before Morro grinned lustfully “Can I fill you in, love?”
Kai only nodded shyly before Morro slowly thrusted his big length on his wife’s tight hole, earning a shy moan from Kai before he began the love session on that night, when a heavy rain just set in, making the two spouses clung in closer to share their warmth
“ I love you, Morro”, Kai panted through his session as Morro clasped his palms around Kai’s narrow hips to meet with deeper thrust.
“ I love yo-AHHHH!!!”, Morro moaned loudly as they both reached climaxed and he filled in his hole before Morro collapsed beside Kai, catching his breathe. Kai just smiled and brought his arms around him for comfort.
“I know, Windy, I know…”
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m-aster-of-spinjitzu · 3 years ago
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golden power; never wielded
my first work for @ninjago-angst-week! prompt - abandoned (16/08) Lloyd's never known what it's like to share his heart with another, linking two lives together as if one had found the melody to their chorus, now a song in perfect harmony. If he’d always felt like he was invisible; wondered if there was something fundamentally wrong with his inability to touch others’ hearts, then, well, that was no one’s business but his own. Of course, that was before he quite literally fell for someone - the first person, actually - who seemed to care. Of course she was too good to be true. Or, the S8 angst I've been wanting to write about 'game of masks' and the aftermath. trigger warnings - suicidal thoughts, brief mention of implied self-harm, not really a warning but it talks a lot about loneliness. "How did you know?"
"It's an Oni Temple. It's safe to assume that only an Oni could take it."
"No. How could you know that I was part Oni?"
How could you know that I was part Oni?
The question repeated itself in his mind, echoing into the blizzard.
Sometimes, he wondered what would've gone down at the temple if he hadn't been so observant.
Well, he thought bitterly, probably not the temple itself.
The walls collapsing, he'd caught a glimpse of his terrified face as the room filled with swirling inky blackness, freezing him to the bone.
But the real pain came from her words.
Ah. Your emotions. You can't get rid of them, can you?
No, he'd wanted to yell, staring listlessly at the shaking grey semblance of sky.
He'd always felt like he wielded the element of light; invisible, trapped behind a barrier that no one cared enough to break. Isolated; locked away from the world. Longing for - yearning for - a single soul to want to know his heart. Pain that almost felt tangible, bleeding into every motion, every day.
Everyone else seemed to find it so easy - so effortless - simple as breathing, taken for granted like it was ingrained into their bones. Everyone else seemed to have given away a little piece of their heart - to their parents, friends, or lovers.
The fact that his was, and had always been, entirely whole?
He was either cursed, the venom from the Great Devourer passed down to him, or there was something fundamentally unlikable coursing through his veins.
By this point, he assumed it was the latter.
Maybe, if anyone had ever cared - wanted to know him - he'd never have felt like it was pressing down on his chest like a casket; a useless block of ice that no one wanted, not even the unfortunate owner it'd been given.
If no one would know his heart, he'd thought, grabbing a forgotten map, he'd strike fear into theirs - until they knew what it was like to sob into invisible barriers, to gaze upon the world with a weary eyes and a heart heavy with the knowledge that if they vanished, no one would even notice.
He'd realized far too late that he had unleashed an evil that couldn't be controlled - or one that could only be controlled by his- by someone else that had sunk beneath the darkness until no light remained-
He'd escaped from the crumbling casket, energy and eyes blazing - only to find that Har- she'd already escaped with the mask.
The Oni Mask of Hatred.
As they had steered the boat through the river, her sweet smile hiding lie upon lie, he'd thought it was somewhat ironic - two lovers, seeking a literal manifestation of hatred.
He'd laughed bitterly; no mirth in the sound.
After his first crush had - well, literally tried to crush him, he didn't think that this day could get much worse.
Until she dropped him into a contraption that was the stuff of nightmares - leaving the others with a seemingly impossible choice.
He'd wanted to yell, scream, that they should save his mother - he'd hurt enough people over the course of his short life, as evidenced by the grief-stricken orphan yelling a foreign language right in front of him.
I'm the expendable one! Maybe she was right - it was my fault the Serpentine were able to release the Great Devourer. And it took thousands of lives - but never the life of the one who was to blame.
He'd grabbed the vengestone bars, the faint sense of numbness they brought a welcoming relief from the storm of emotions that- he honestly had no clue what to do with.
i could drown, he had thought briefly, fleetingly. what if i drowned and i never hurt anyone again-
you have  a responsibility, even though you've pretty much failed to uphold it so far
"Clotho venge! Clotho decer! Clotho haeed!"
Shoving the thought to the back of his mind, he'd gripped the bars tighter, ignoring the sting of the metal against skin.
If anything, he'd welcomed the sting.
Any pain was better than the agonizing reminder that his heart was, and had always been, entirely whole.
He didn't even realize he was trembling until he heard his father's voice echoing from the vortex.
His father hadn't asked to be bitten by an evil snake, the venom coursing through his veins for years upon years. He hadn't asked to be dumped at a boarding school for bad kids, spending what he had left of his childhood hiding in empty classrooms or yelling empty threats as his classmates snickered.
Against all odds, they'd been reunited. Evil snakes, Fangblades, even Jade Blades - none of it had stood between them.
Just when he thought they might have a future - he might have a- a family - the Cursed Realm decided to curse them all.
His father with imprisonment, him with a life devoid of a father he'd loved, at the end.
Now H- she wanted to resurrect him?
His father had been so much more than the Oni blood in his veins. So was he.
But if he was completely Oni-
Lloyd didn't like their odds. He kind of hated them.
"Clotho venge! Clotho decer! Clotho haeed!"
---
A few chaotic hours later... they'd won? They'd won.
The Sons of Garmadon (he'd always thought the name was kind of ironic - he, the only son of Garmadon, wasn't in their crazy biker gang) had been imprisoned by courageous, if a bit overzealous, taser-wielding policeman.
Ninjago was celebrating - everyone was; he should be, too.
Should he really revel in their victory, though? It was his fault that she'd been able to snatch the last mask, all the safeguards the Oni had put in place practically worthless because of his stupid feelings-
H- Harumi had been thrown in one of the police vans.
"You're right - this isn't me," she'd started, her meekness almost convincing him that she really was the girl he'd fallen for - the girl who'd been forced into a mask she never wanted to wear, but someone who still cared about the world... and- and about him.
"Stop."
He'd cut her off, the venom in his tone surprising both of them.
"Save it for someone who cares," he'd forced out, the hurt welling up his chest almost as painful as their unceremonious descent into the jungle, (the descent she'd orchestrated, he'd thought fleetingly, squeezing his eyes together) unable to believe that this- this liar was the same sweet girl he'd fallen for.
With that, he slammed the door of the van, locking her in - wishing that locking his memories away could be easy.
She'd never cared about him; simply needing to use him as if he was nothing more than the power he wielded.
He watched one of the policemen drive her away, the tired-but-enthusiastic cheers of his teammates nothing more than background noise; static.
Vaguely, he realized that his heart wasn't quite whole - he'd given a piece of it to someone whom he had thought would link theirs together in harmony, the melody to his chorus; what he'd been searching for ever since he'd woken up screaming in a 'boarding school' that seemed more like a prison.
She'd taken more than what he'd given - draining the light from his entire being as if she was the Overlord, stealing his golden power without a shred of remorse.
That failure was practically painless, compared to her-
An almost unfamiliar emotion slowly stated to replace the ache in his chest that he'd grown used to for all those years; it'd become comforting, even. Watching the world go by with a heart that seemed more like a curse, he briefly, fleetingly, wondered if he'd be better off without one.
If there was ever a problem that presented itself to Nya while she worked on the Bounty, she used to joke that it'd be easier to just dump their entire hard dive into the sea.
Destruction seemed to be easier than fixing, he conceded - the van now just a glimmer of bright light; one of the many that made up their vibrant city.
"How did you know?" he heard, yet again wondering how he felt so disconnected from his own role in the memory.
How had she known? 
The whisper of a voice long gone bled into his consciousness, his hands shaking at his sides even as the city celebrated.
Why had he even asked that?
Plastering a smile on his face as he walked over to his teammates, the question repeating itself in his mind, echoing into the blizzard.
FSM - she didn't need to be leader of a biker gang to know that.
Who could ever give their heart - the epitome of human connection; golden power all on its own, albeit of a different kind - to an Oni?
Maybe he wasn't the one trapped behind an invisible wall, built on tears and loneliness and yearning and heartache and a lone question - why? Why could no one seem to look past the cage he felt himself trapped in, observing the world rather than playing a part in it.
He hadn't been a- abandoned by everyone, he realized, a weary sense of clarity and shadowed eyes not sure to accept it or push it into the back of his mind like the hours he'd spent there, as if he'd ever want to have hurt his teammates like he did, the twisted ghost-
He trailed behind his teammates as they sang - horribly off key, his mind pointed out, forcing a small smile onto his face - lost in the figurative blizzard, despite the fact that the sun's rays had only vanished a few hours ago.
If no one would know his heart?
FSM - could he really blame them?
(if you read this far, thank you so much, you’ve made my day:D)
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cherrybombfangirl · 3 years ago
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Anger
Ninjago Angst Week - Day 5!
@ninjago-angst-week
When Morro shows up on the Day of the Departed, Amy loses her cool and it’s not pretty.
Warnings: panic attack, mentions of past trauma, strong (but brief) language
Enjoy!
~~~
"And he had help."
The voice was unwelcomingly familiar, the owner of the voice appeared from behind Wu.
Every one of the ninja went into defensive positions. The others had their weapons out and Amy's hand was up and glowing bright purple.
Her other hand was reached out behind her, protecting her boyfriend. She could hear Lloyd's breath hitch behind her as his hand grabbed her wrist tight- the signal they had come up with as a way for him to tell Amy that he was having a panic attack or could feel one coming.
Amy moved them both back a little bit, ready to rip that bastard of a ghost limb from limb if he even took one more step forward. "Morro......" she said, her voice bordering on a growl. Bolt barked at Morro threateningly, ready to pounce.
"Any more villains wanna show up tonight?" Jay demanded, swinging his nunchucks.
"We stopped six," Kai said, raising his sword, "What's one more?!"
"No!" Sensei Wu said, "Put away your weapons, he's here to help!"
"I find that hard to believe," Amy said, barely keeping her voice calm, keeping herself between Morro and Lloyd as much as possible.
All she wanted to do was tear that ghost to pieces, make him scream and cry and beg like Lloyd did during a panic attack or after a nightmare, give the ghost even just a taste of the pain he had caused-
She had charged forward before she even realized she was doing it, grabbing Morro with a blindingly bright purple forcefield and slamming the ghost high in the air as if he'd been thrown into a wall, trying to squeeze the breath out of him if he had any.
Morro grunted struggling against her powers. "I'm here to help-"
"I DON'T GIVE A FLYING FUCK WHAT SAY YOU'RE HERE FOR!" Amy screamed up at him, "ALL YOU DO IS LIE!"
"AMY STOP!" Sensei Wu shouted.
Amy glared over her shoulder at him.
"Put Morro down, Amy," Sensei Wu ordered.
Amy shot a terrifying glare up at Morro before throwing him into the ground, hard, making a deep dent in the pavement. She took a few steps toward him, her voice was dangerously even and calm.
"If you come within so much as twenty feet of my boyfriend, I will not hesitate to tear you into a million pieces and make sure you feel it. And I will not give you the sweet release of death until I have wrung every pitiful scream, cry and tear out of you. I will make you beg me to kill you and make you wish you'd never been born if you even look at Lloyd."
She started to walk back over to Lloyd, and added over her shoulder, "Do not test me."
~~~
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jaythesaltybastard · 4 years ago
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Day 6: Sickness
@ninjago-angst-week
Jay was FINE.
Really! No, he wasn’t sniffling. That sneeze was just allergies! He just inhaled some spit, that was why he was coughing!
Really, he was okay...
So then why was he waking up on the floor with Kai and Cole staring down at him in concern?
“Dude, you look awful,” Kai stated plainly, frowning. Cole nodded in agreement.
“How flattering,” Jay grumbled back, hacked a cough. His voice was raspy and rough, and he sniffled as he attempted to sit up. “Come on, we’re supposed to be playing video games.”
“Jay, you just fainted.” Cole put his hand heavily on Jay’s shoulder. “Maybe you should sit this round out, you look exhausted.”
“I’m fine,” Jay muttered, pushing back against Cole’s arm. “I’m fine.”
“Dude, seriously,” Kai pleaded. “Just lay down for a few minutes.”
“I’m fine,” Jay repeated just as his legs gave out beneath him, the only thing stopping him from hitting the floor being Cole’s arm.
Twenty minutes later, he was sitting on the table in the medical room as Zane did all his doctory things, Nya pacing in the background while Kai and Cole watched from a distance.
“Hey guys,” came Lloyd’s voice suddenly from the door as the blonde entered. Jay winced at the abrupt sound. “Sorry I took so long to get here, I didn’t get your message until ten minutes ago.”
“It’s quite alright,” Zane said as he finally pulled back from Jay, much to the brunette’s relief. “You haven’t missed much.”
“I’m fine,” Jay grumbled, sitting up despite the nausea churning in his stomach. “I don’t know why you did this stupid check-up anyw-” he swung his legs over the table and stood far too quickly, dizziness washing over him as he keeled violently and emptied the contents of his stomach onto the floor. Someone yelped in surprise, the sound of several pairs of boots shuffling away from the mess filling Jay’s pounding ears. A hand on his back steadied him.
“Jay, please lay down,” Zane said gently, guiding the blue ninja back to the table. “From what I gathered, I presume you have some sort of stomach bug similar to the flu. You will just have to let it take its course.”
Jay groaned, allowing himself to lay back against the table. “Fine,” he muttered. “But I’ll be better in a few days! It’s really nothing!”
It got worse.
A week passed and Jay could still barely stomach the crackers that Zane had been feeding him. Every few hours he would pull the waste bin he’d been using closer to his face and dry heave into it for a few minutes, drooling like no tomorrow as his stomach tried to heave up it’s nonexistent contents.
Zane helped as best he could, keeping the others away for the most part and trying to keep the noise to a minimum. Nya was the only one really allowed to visit. She’d sit in a chair reading or run her fingers through his hair until he could almost fall asleep.
Frankly, Jay was exhausted. He could barely turn himself over in bed and the energy required to talk, he just didn’t possess. He spent his days in and out of restless slumber, his throbbing headache never getting any better and his aching muscles screaming for relief.
Jay lost track of how long he’d been out of it when he heard Zane and Nya whispering to each other nearby.
“It’s been two and a half weeks, Zane,” Nya breathed, sounding worried. “He’s not getting any better.”
“I had assumed it was a stomach bug that would pass after a few days,” Zane replied quietly. “But no one else has caught it, perhaps it is something deeper?”
Nya sighed. “Maybe we should take him to a hospital. We’ve been lucky so far but a mission that needs all of us could come up at any time. I don’t like the thought of leaving him here alone.”
Their voices were muddled in his brain, but he managed to make out “two weeks” and “stomach bug” and “mission” and “hospital”, which all make no sense whatsoever but Jay didn’t care. He just wanted to get *better*.
“Perhaps you are right,” Zane said, his voice far off as Jay felt himself begin to drift again. “I’ll start heading us there now.”
After that, Jay lost consciousness once again, his head pounding and his stomach clenching painfully from the lack of food.
Distantly, he prayed he would get better soon, because right now he was living an absolute nightmare.
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lloydskywalkers · 5 years ago
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Ahhh thank you so much!! 💕sO the lack of season 5 aftermath is possibly one of my biggest issues with Ninjago because like...there was no way. There was no way Lloyd just walked all that off, Morro had him pretty much the whole season and we saw what five minutes did to Ronin. I think it took a fair amount of time for him to bounce back, and it likely left long-lasting effects, but because this is season 5 angst u get a fic explaining my thoughts instead :’’D
(Also answering this in it’s own post because guess who spiraled out of control again! It’s s5 angst u guys i’m weak)
The aftermath of the battle is, as it usually goes, incredibly underwhelming. And by that, Cole means incredibly slow, because the Preeminent ripped the motor off their steamboat, and even with Nya pitching in every now and then, their pace across the seawater is glacial. By the time the nearest Ninjago shore comes into view, everyone on the boat’s on their last legs of sanity — some for…slightly different reasons than others.
The thing about being stuck on a crammed steamboat for hours on end, is that you can’t really hide. There’s only so far you can get, unless you take a dip in the ocean, which is a hard pass for Cole — not that he was trying to hide, anyways.
No, the only one who looks like they’re actually considering jumping off the side of the boat is Lloyd, and that’s because instead of vanishing off to who-knows-where to have his inevitable breakdown, he’s stuck smack in the middle of his very protective family, who get an up close and personal view of the exact moment the color starts to leech from his face.
Lloyd’s making a valiant effort. He’s been making a valiant effort, ever since they pulled him from the Caves of Despair. He and Kai had cornered Sensei in what turned into a near-shouting match alone at letting him fight in the battle against Morro in the first place, because Lloyd had looked two degrees from dead when they’d gotten him back. He’d only looked moderately alive when he’d stepped out with them, hoodie hanging too loose from his shoulders as he’d handed off the green gi to Nya, and it had burned Cole to let him take the brunt of the fight as he did.
Not that Cole feels much heat now anyway, but — metaphorically.
Either way, Lloyd holds up valiantly until the combined toll of Morro’s possession and the battle with the Preeminent finally hits, at which point he goes a sickly shade of white and keels straight over into Kai with a migraine so bad Cole can’t even manage to pull his fingers free from where they dig into his skull.
“What happened?! Did Morro hurt him?”
“Did Morro hurt him, where have you been this last month—”
“I meant right now, don’t snap at me—”
“Would you keep your voices down, you’re only causing him more pain.”
This quiets the commotion that’s sprung up in their corner of the boat, all of them hovering anxiously over Lloyd, their salt-water hair and wind-swept clothes and already-forming bruises leaving the entire team a vivid mess. Kai’s left holding a lapful of whimpering brother, looking two seconds from crying himself as he tries to soothe Lloyd before he tears hair out, so Cole takes a shuddering breath, pulls himself together, and takes the lead.
It’s easier than he’d thought it would be, allowing himself to fall into the removed sort of autopilot. Shoulders back, emotions locked up tight, put on a brave face and make the calls. Leading has never been an easy position, but it teaches you to compartmentalize, to suppress, and to delay.
That delay is what Lloyd is paying for now, Cole thinks soberly, as Zane and Kai carry Lloyd up the steps of the Bounty, Sensei already darting inside to brew up whatever tea’s supposed to help this time. It’d be easier if Cole took him — he knows that. He’s the strongest of the team, even in this state.
But he can’t bring his ghostly fingers to touch him. Not with the flinch that had run through his younger brother earlier.
Cole swallows thickly. Lloyd hadn’t meant it, he knows that. He wouldn’t even hold it against him if he had.
The turnaround from regaining Lloyd to the battle with the Preeminent was terribly quick, and it only takes a look or two to gain an understanding of the damage wrought on their youngest brother. Lloyd is bruised and gaunt and horribly thin, and the normal shine in his eyes is hollowed-out and haunted. There’s an unspoken dread among them all, a heavy weight that sits on their shoulders, that Morro has actually managed to break Lloyd with his possession — that the longs weeks spent trapped in his own mind, beaten and neglected and alone — have snapped the unfathomably strong willpower Lloyd’s always had.
And Morro, for all that Cole hates him for that, was a ghost. Cole isn’t stupid enough to miss that. And he’s certainly not stupid enough to ignore what the repercussions of that might be on Lloyd, toward anyone else who might be a ghost.
Cole feels his chest tighten as he watches Nya run a hand through Lloyd’s tangled hair, her eyes a million miles away as she sits beside where he lies on their couch, tucked firmly into the layers of blankets he recognizes as Kai and Zane’s.
He bites his cheek. It’d be better if they used his. It’s not like Cole needs them anymore.
“He’s overtired,” Sensei Wu says quietly, his hand drifting briefly across his nephew’s forehead. “He pushed it too far in battle, and he has yet to fully recover from the toll both the possession and his injuries took on him. He will be fine, with rest.”
There’s a quiet exhale of relief at his words, but it’s a weary one. Kai doesn’t look at him, his stare only growing hot where he sits at Lloyd’s side, refusing to move even to change from his battle-stained gi.
Cole’s eyes flick to Sensei Wu, then back to Lloyd. There’s a bleeding kind of pain in Sensei’s words, his voice shot through with loss. There’s a crippling edge of guilt in it too, though. Cole knows Sensei is mourning Morro — he knows their relationship was different. But as much as Cole prides himself of being sympathetic, it’s really, really difficult to feel any sort of grief for Morro, when his baby brother’s curled in on himself in pain on the couch, eyebrows furrowed tightly in stress and exhaustion.
Lloyd murmurs something inaudible, shifting in his sleep before settling again, his expression still pinched in weariness. He somehow looks both years older and so very young at the same time, and it makes Cole’s heart hurt.
He’s yanked from his staring as Jay’s head suddenly presses against his shoulder. Cole starts, almost forgetting to remain solid before Jay yanks his head back up, eyelids fluttering from where they’d drifted off to sleep.
“Sorry,” he yawns, rubbing at a bloodshot eye. “Didn’ mean to fall asleep on you.”
Cole blinks at him, then glances at the rest of their team. Lloyd isn’t the only one succumbing to exhaustion — the entire team is barely hanging on, all dark-circled and hazy eyes. Beside Jay, Zane looks like he wants to shut down for a month, Nya looks like she’s close to tears for some reason, and Kai looks like he’s steadily burning through the last reserves of his energy just by staring at the floor.
Something weird shifts in Cole’s gut. He feels exhausted, stripped raw and worn, but he doesn’t feel tired, not like the others look. He just feels that same, cold kind of numbness that has yet to leave him since Yang’s temple.
He swallows again, and tries to ignore how useless the gesture is.
“You should head to bed,” he tells Jay gently instead. His lifts his head, addressing the others. “We all should.”
Kai opens his mouth to protest instantly, then shuts it. He glances at Nya, who’s practically asleep where she sits on the couch, seconds from tipping over. He looks at Lloyd. “I’m sleeping out here,” he finally says, firmly.
Cole guesses that’s the best he can ask for from him, right now. He nods to Zane, who gently helps Nya up, knocking Kai lightly on the shoulder as he does. “At least change,” he orders, and it’s a sign to how tired Kai is that he complies without arguing.
Cole tugs Jay up by his arm, patting him on the back. “C’mon, zaptrap,” he murmurs. “I’m not your pillow.”
Jay grumbles inaudibly at him, but he staggers to his feet, yawning as he plods toward the bedroom. Cole looks to Sensei Wu, who is still hovering by Lloyd, staring at his nephew with a look Cole can’t quite figure out.
“Sensei?” he finally dares, hesitantly. “It’s been a long day, so…”
“Ah, of course.” Sensei Wu blinks, shaking his head. “I would let him rest here for the night,” he says, nodding to Lloyd. His voice is quiet, and Cole can easily find the pain in it this time. “Better to let him rest.”
That doesn’t exactly settle well with Cole, because the idea of leaving any of his brothers apart for the night, even if it’s just in another room, turns his stomach. Especially when one of them is the brother they’d lost, and only just barely got back, so—
Well. Cole doesn’t need to sleep anymore, does he. He can keep an eye out.
“Of course,” he says instead, dipping his head as Sensei Wu heads off after the others. “Goodnight, Sensei.”
Cole moves to follow him, figuring he can at least change his clothes, but he hesitates over Lloyd, footsteps faltering. For a brief second, he lets his hand hovers over the top of his brother’s sleeping head, barely ghosting the pale blond strands. He swallows, then pulls his hand away.
Lloyd had told him once, when he was younger, that he was scared people would hate him for what he was. Never who — just what. Cole had never understood the phrasing, but now…
Now, Cole desperately, painfully hopes Lloyd doesn’t hate him for what he’s become.
***********
It’s the third nightmare that finally manages to pull Lloyd from sleep, because somehow the first two weren’t exciting enough to warrant waking up for.
At least he hasn’t woken up Kai with it, he thinks miserably, still trying to catch his breath, his heart racing from the nightmare. He exhales shakily, glancing over to where Kai’s sprawled out on the couch across from him, snoring quietly and dead to the world. Kai looks exhausted, even in sleep, and Lloyd feels guilt digging its claws into his chest again.
Your fault, a voice in the back of his head reminds him. You hurt him, you hurt them all, Green Ninja—
Lloyd swallows, wincing as he shifts, sitting up quietly. He won’t wake Kai up for this. His older brother has suffered enough for him already.
Besides, his throat feels like he’s been swallowing sandpaper, and he doesn’t; really trust his voice, anyway. Lloyd sighs, swinging his legs over the side of the couch and tugging his blanket over his shoulders like a cape.
In all honesty, he’d like nothing more than to stay on this couch for the rest of his life, because Kai let him have his really warm blanket — which, granted, says a lot more about the state Lloyd’s in right now than he’d like, but still. Lloyd is comfortable, tucked in the corner of the couch like he is. And comfortable isn’t something he’s been in the last few weeks, at all.
But he’s not — he’s not supposed to be thinking about that, he reminds himself, furiously shoving the memories back into their little Do-Not-Touch box in the corner of his mind, as he gingerly tests his legs out. His right leg shudders precariously when he stands, and Lloyd bites his lip, frowning. He could’ve sworn it was his left that was hurt, since that was the one the Preeminent had nearly ripped off pulling him into the Cursed Realm, and Morr—
Aha, nope, Lloyd reminds himself. Back in the box. He can think about that — about him — later.
Much, much later. Right now, he just wants a glass of water, then he wants to go back to sleep for another twenty hours straight. He’d like to just go back to bed as it is, because his limbs feel as sluggish as melting butter, but the water’s important, because he’s ‘severely dehydrated’ or something. Whatever Zane had declared as Lloyd tried to stop his brain from imploding on him earlier.
So glass of water, then back to bed. Lloyd just has to make it to the kitchen, which should — should be easy. His leg isn’t shaking that badly, and it’s not like his ribs are actually broken. Just bruised, and Lloyd can walk off bruises, easy.
He just needs to remember how, he thinks, as he takes a shuddering breath where he stands frozen. He blows it out, closing his eyes to steady himself. He immediately snaps them back open, trying not to keel over to the side. Oh, mistake. Every time Lloyd closes his eyes he’s falling through realms again, the world spinning and leaving him loose and shaky, which is only moderately better than the alternative thing he’d see, which is…
Well, he left Lloyd with a lot of things he could see that would keep him up.
Back in the box! Lloyd scolds himself, frantically tearing his mind elsewhere before he can slip down that particular slope, one that he knows is only going to send him spiraling into icy fear and panic.
Lloyd shakes his head furiously, bare feet padding quietly as he makes his way to the kitchen. His skin crawls at the darkness that presses in from all sides, and he feels his power press against his fingertips, begging to light his way. Lloyd presses his lips together and shoves it down. His control over his powers is tentative at best right now — he’d learned that the hard way earlier, when he’d exploded all the police floodlights that were just trying to get them safely to shore.
The reminder causes his cheeks to heat, and Lloyd bites his lip. He doesn’t want to think about how much he’s lost, how far behind he’s fallen, because of…this. His powers feel wild and fragile now, like they did when he was just beginning to train, and Lloyd hates that. How is he supposed to make up everything to his team when he can barely even—
A cold chill of air suddenly licks against the back of his neck, rustling his clothes and blanket and tugging at his hair, and the chill that slides down his spine is all the warning he gets. The whistling sound from the broken kitchen window should have warned him, but Lloyd’s still unprepared.
It’s just — it’s the wind.
That’s all, just a little breeze, and Lloyd’s slammed so hard by a dizzying vertigo of terror that he falls right to his knees on the spot, his vision going hazy as a dull roaring echoes in his ears.
He’d scream, but his lungs have suddenly quit on him, sputtering uselessly in his chest as he wheezes, panic blotting out every other rational thought. The phantom fingers of the wind are still grasping at him, still pulling at his hair and wrapping around his neck, forcing into his mind and tearing him apart form the inside and no, no no no, he can’t do this again, he can’t—
Some part of Lloyd’s mind knows perfectly well what’s happening to him. It’s not like he hasn’t had panic attacks before. But the rest of his mind—
Lloyd’s teeth press together so hard his jaw aches, and his eyes burn as he forces shaky breaths to rattle from his chest. The hot shame of how pathetic he has to look right now is only drowned out the absolute sense of terror rooting him on his knees.
Kai, he thinks desperately, his hands shaking so violently that his fingernails clack against the floor. Kai is here, Kai will save him from Morro, he won’t leave him to spiral back into that darkness. His whole family is here, just in the other room, if he can only—
A muffled voice forces its way through the roaring in his ears, echoing oddly against his brain. Before Lloyd can place it, there’s a touch on his shoulder, gentle but cold, like a wisp of freezing air, just like his touch.
Lloyd looks up, and through blurring vision sees that same unearthly shade of green, flickering and translucent, and his entire being slams into panic.
All he’s able to get out is a rasping croak, but he’s still able to snap at the figure.
“Get away from me!”
He tears his arm from their grasp, stumbling back. He’s not going to be taken again, he’s not going back in the darkness, he’s never letting someone touch him like that again—
Lloyd wipes at his eyes, his vision clearing, and he freezes dead.
— oh. Lloyd’s eyes go wide in horror. Oh no, oh no, it’s not him. It’s not any of his ghosts.
It’s Cole, his hand pulled back to his chest, staring at him with the most heartbroken, hurt expression on his face Lloyd has ever seen in his life.
Lloyd’s heart drops all the through his stomach to his feet, and he goes cold.
“I-I—” Cole’s eyes are wide with hurt, but that hurt quickly melts into a horrified kind of despair. He pulls back further, swallowing thickly. “Sorry,” he mutters, looking away. Shutting down. “I’m sorry, I should have realized—”
“No—” Lloyd croaks.
“Obviously you’d — I’m sorry, just being stupid Cole as always—”
“—no, no Cole—”
“—just making things worse, I’ll leave.”
“N-no, Cole, I didn’t mean — Cole, I’m so sorry—”
Cole isn’t even looking at him, his shoulders hitching tightly as he turns away. “I’ll get Kai. Or anyone else.”
He moves to his feet, leaving Lloyd where he’s still sprawled uselessly on the floor, and Lloyd’s stomach turns.
No, no, no! he thinks frantically, fumbling to find feeling where his legs have gone numb. Cole can’t leave, not with that look still on his face, not before Lloyd can fix this—
“Cole wait, stop—!”
Lloyd moves to rush after him, to grab him, to pull him back and apologize — but his ankle is still weak and his balance is still shaky and the panic’s left him wobbly, and he gets one step before his foot twists in his blanket, the ground’s yanked out from under him, and he slams front-first into the floor with a muffled grunt, knocking his chin against the floor and biting straight through his lip.
“Ow,” he manages into the floor, somewhat stunned, his voice muffled as his face throbs.
“Lloyd!”
Oh good, Lloyd thinks hazily, as his mouth fills with tangy, metallic blood. It worked. Cole came back.
Hands wrap around his shoulders, hauling him up and setting him upright before quickly pulling back. Before Lloyd can protest, Cole’s back, all up in his face where he’s now sitting on the floor next to him.
“Aw, Lloyd, why’d you do that,” Cole’s voice is pained as his hand ghosts over the blood dripping down his chin, thick eyebrows tense in worry.
Lloyd shakes his head, wiping a hand over his mouth and grimacing. His lip stings something horrible, and he’s appalled to find that his eyes are tearing up from the pain.
“I wan’ed to match the rest’a my face,” he manages out though his busted lip, before cringing.
Cole gives him a look. Lloyd doesn’t feel bad at all. It’s better than the look he’d had on a second ago.
Cole sighs, sounding weary. “I’ll get Zane. He can help you ice it, and I’ll—”
“No!” Lloyd yelps, grabbing for his arm. He latches around Cole’s wrist just before he manages to escape, and Cole snaps his eyes to him, looking panicked.
“Lloyd, I-I…I get it,” he says, gently prying at his fingers. “What you went through — it’s…it’s okay, just—”
Lloyd doesn’t let him get any further, because he finally gets past the giant chunk of completely irrational fear in his chest and manages to throw his arms around Cole’s middle, hugging him tightly until Cole’s forced back down with an oof.
For a second, Cole’s about as receptive as a rock, sitting all stiff and rigid. But he finally, finally relaxes, breath whooshing shakily out of his chest as he slowly, carefully returns the embrace, wrapping his arms around him.
Lloyd’s prepared for the unusually cold touch this time. He focuses instead on how gentle it is, how it feels like family and home and safety. He’s an idiot for mistaking Cole for anyone else, Lloyd thinks hotly to himself, his eyes stinging with tears.
“It’s not,” he whispers. “It’s not okay, you’re not— you’re not Morro, and I shouldn’t—”
Lloyd’s breath hitches. Oh no, he’s opened the box. He’s opened the box and now he’s thinking about it, his mind is reaching in and pulling out every memory of what Morro did to him, every action he took that Lloyd couldn’t stop, all the words he’d forced from his mouth, all the awful things—
A dizzying rush of fury smashes into him. How could he, how could he, it wasn’t enough that he took Lloyd’s body and his mind and his strength and left him a hollow shell, no, he had to dig his fingers far enough in his brain that Lloyd’s scared of his own family now—
“—hate him, I hate him, I hate him—”
“I know, buddy, I know—”
Though Cole’s holding him tight, he shifts him slightly to the side with a quiet hiss of breath, and Lloyd belatedly remembers — tears. Water and ghosts do not get along. And here Lloyd’s crying enough for a river on top of him.
He jerks back with a gasp. “Oh, I’m sorry, I’m sorry—” he blabbers, wiping frantically at his eyes. “I didn’t mean to—”
It’s Cole’s turn to grab his arm before he pulls away, his gaze firm. “Don’t,” he says, sounding pained. “Don’t apologize for that. I’m fine, you didn’t hurt me.”
Lloyd shakes his head. “I’m so sorry,” he chokes out. “I’m so sorry, you’re a ghost and it’s all my fault.”
Cole stills. “What?” he finally says, his voice incredulous.
Lloyd doesn’t reply, crying harder as he tries to absorb himself into his blanket, maybe to suffocate, because at least then he won’t be weeping all over the kitchen floor like a child, and — and—
“Lloyd,” Cole sounds agonized now. “Lloyd, this wasn’t your fault. None of this was. You can’t blame yourself for it, you can’t. Please don’t.”
Lloyd gives a keening whine in reply, burying his face in his blanket. Yes, he can. He can, just watch him. Lloyd can blame himself for the whole sorry thing, because he went to that museum alone when he knew full well he was still a mess, and now?
Cole’s a ghost, his family’s hurt, Lloyd’s a worse mess, and his dad is dead, for real dead now, and none of it would’ve happened if Lloyd could’ve just—could’ve just—
Lloyd feels a bit like he’s exploding, except it’s all coming out in the tidal wave of tears he’s been stockpiling somewhere, and darn it, he’s supposed to be dehydrated now, where’s it all coming from—
Cole gently lifts his blanket, folding it up as a barrier between him and Lloyd’s running eyes, and pulls him back in, holding him tightly. Lloyd unashamedly clings back, because he’s got no dignity left at this point anyways, and he’s lived with the idea that he’d never see his family again now, and it hurt so much worse than anything Morro could do to him.
“It’s not your fault,” Cole tells him again, his voice thick. “We’ll fix it. We’ll figure it out, Lloyd, we’ll work through it, all of us together this time. You’re going to be okay. I promise, I promise.”
Lloyd just folds in on himself further, burying his face against Cole as he tries to choke back sobs.
Going to be okay. He wants to laugh. His dad’s gone. Lloyd’s entire being feels like a bruise. He could get past that before, maybe. Probably. But—
Cole’s dead.  
How on earth are they supposed to fix that?
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gwenbrightly · 4 years ago
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Ninjago Angst Week (Alone)
Welp, I guess I attempted angst week for the first time today eheh. Please enjoy this short snippet featuring Harumi.
“A princess doesn’t slouch.”
Harumi groaned, but adjusted her posture just enough that it looked like she was actually trying.
“That’s better, though, I could do without that inhuman growling,” The empress told her with a frown, “honestly, Harumi. How can you ever hope to quit making a mockery of your position if you refuse to aspire to even the most basic elements of decorum?”
The little girl resisted the urge to stare out the window and tune out the lecture. It was such a lovely day, and she had seen the children of some of the servants playing outside. How she wished she could join them, but that could never be. The empress would never allow her to socialize with “commoners”. Not in a million, zillion years. So, instead, she would be stuck inside, dealing with this... Torture. Alone.
“I-” Began Harumi, but the empress cut her off with a dismissive wave of her hand.
“After everything we’ve done for you – taking you in when no one else would have – it's high time you started acting as though you cared.”  
The problem with that idea was that Harumi didn’t care – not about her posture, not about being a princess, and certainly not about pleasing any of the adults in her life. None of them deserved her respect or adoration, yet they demanded it from her without a second thought. Her ability to care about anything had died with her parents’ demise. Even her admiration for Garmadon had been short-lived.  After all, he had bowed to the will of the emperor and empress. Had begged for their forgiveness while they should have been thanking him! It hadn’t taken much for her to lose all respect for him after that...
“Okay. I-I'll try to do better.” Harumi said in that quiet, resigned voice she had begun using whenever someone dictated some new thing that would only contribute to her misery. She had no say in her life, now, so why bother trying to fight it?  
“See to it that you do. You can start by practicing your posture. For an entire half hour.” the empress decided, placing a book on Harumi’s head and straightening the girl’s back herself.              
“But you said that if I finished all my lessons quickly, I could go outside...” Harumi protested quietly, knowing full well her words would fall on deaf ears. The Empress gave her a severe look.
“Oh, Harumi... Perhaps it is time for you to evaluate your priorities,” she said patronizingly, “there are more important things in life than... playing. A princess does as she is told and carries herself with poise. She does not sit about moping when she doesn’t get her way.”
“Yes, mother.”
Harumi felt dead inside. She watched the empress walk away, wishing she had remained quiet. After all, it usually caused her less pain. As she paced about the room with a book balanced on her head, Harumi wondered why her life had to be like this. Unloved by her ‘parents’, for she knew their affection was only superficial – a show put on to make sure their loyal subjects adored them for their charity. Broken. Soul crushingly alone.  
She clenched her fists. Let them turn her into their perfect little princess. But one day... One day she would find a way out of this nightmare, and then everyone would regret it.                
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parachutingkitten · 4 years ago
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After season 4 angst? (sad Lloyd, guilty Kai, etc.)
I swear I’m still doing these, I just had a crazy week, but I’m back on it. How about um... dysfunctional paranoid Lloyd?
Lloyd sat at the foot of his bed, staring at the wall, his arms wrapped around his legs as he sat, his mind blank and yet chaotically occupied. 
What had he just done?
There had to be a way to undo it. Bring him back. To say one more thing. To apologize. Or maybe he was dreaming. Maybe this was all some strange nightmare and he would wake up to find his father still here, right beside him, ready to discipline him for being such a neglectful son.
He had sent him away, banished him, abandoned him to eternal attornment. What kind of a son could do that to his own father? How could he ever come to terms with how dishonorable it was. He could feel the guilt eating at him as he sat, the walls blurring in front of him as tears filled his eyes. But he refused to blink.
There had to be something he could do. He could send himself in his father’s place. Swap lives with just one more ritual. He deserved it after all. He could save ninjago when it counted. He didn’t deserve to protect it any longer. There was just so much to do and he wasn’t strong enough to do it. Not without him. 
Lloyd could feel his eyes stinging now, begging for a release. His breath caught at its peak as nothing but three words rang through his mind. 
“I need you.”
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ninja-go-to-therapy · 5 years ago
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Ninjago Angst Week Day 4: Broken
@ninjago-angst-week here’s my entry for day 4!
This takes place during season 6 episode 6.
Trigger warnings: mentions of beating, blood, and starvation
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Every bone in Jay’s body hurt beyond what he’d ever known hurt could be. Pain flowed through him like the blood that was oozing out of multiple injuries. There was too much blood, it was everywhere, staining everything, and he already knew he’d be forced to clean it up.
He wanted to cry. He wanted to sit down, to stop moving, and to scream and cry until his lungs burned (more than they already did). More than anything, he wanted his family. He wanted his parents, he wanted his brothers, he wanted to wake up from this nightmare.
He couldn’t let any of it show, though. He had to pretend that they hadn’t so thoroughly broken him, so completely devoid him of hope that all that remained was sorrow. Kai and Zane were gone. Sensei Wu was gone. For all he knew, everyone else could be gone too.
He was underfed, and beaten routinely, and forced to complete too many tasks, and all alone.
At this point, all he could hope for was that the others were okay.
He, on the other hand, he would never be okay again.
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justsomerandomweebo · 5 years ago
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Kozu Headcanon#5
Angst time!
Starting off light: during the time Kozu and the remaining soldiers basically vanished off the map, they went from people screaming whenever they saw them to throwing whatever they could find and yelling ugly words at them. They didn't care however since they've always been stone soldiers so being anything else is borderline absurd to them.
When they did finally settle down in the remains of Old Ninjago where the people abandoned most of the buildings and it became Ninjago's slums, it started to sink in that most of their brothers were gone. A soldier would turn to say something to another but realise thay they weren't there, realise that they were dead and it hits Kozu the hardest. As their older brother, as their general, he was meant to protect them, to lead them to victory. Instead, hundreds of them were slaughtered. He knew more of them were submerged in the bottom of the Mouth of Darkness but he had no means of getting to the Dark Island, no means of getting them out and certainly not enough means to keep them in Ninjago. Despite that, he has an additional savings account (not with the bank. He doesn't understand nor trust them) to fund an expedition there. It may take him as little as a year with their current salary but he was determined to free his brothers.
He's not big on sleep. While he doesn't need to sleep as often or as long as humans, he does need some amount of sleep. At least 5 hours a week. He will boycott sleep completely because every time he closes his eyes, all he can see is gold light, soldiers vanishing into it, their yells, their pleas, the ones that fell into the mouth of darkness, their abruptly ending screams, how quickly they sink, all of them looking to him, their older brother. 'You were to protect us' 'why did you let us die?' 'you killed us' 'your fault' 'your fault'
Anyway. He doesn't show exhaustion like humans. He won't get bags under his eyes or anything. His eyes will dull however (since they glow 24/7). When his eyes looks like Pixal's when they were deactivated, he will pass out any second from then. He's also grumpy and sluggish.
I've taken this one from my Overlord & Kozu (not a ship. Father son relationship) because I'm angst loving trash. The first time he willingly reaches out to the ninja was when he began to notice cracks on his brothers, the residual golden energy slowly eroding them. Kozu himself had a massive crack in his back that opened into his chest by the time the ninja get there. It's utter agony for him but he insists on the ninja dealing with his brothers before they even look at him. They grab the golden armor and have it absorb the energy from the other soldiers then him but the damage he has doesn't just go away like that. It was too severe to just close over like the other soldiers. They had to take a few soldiers to the dark Island to gather the indestructible material needed to fix Kozu while he basically stands at death's doorstep. Long story short they do get the material and the soldiers fixes him with his instructions. The ninja lighten up on them completely after that and while they aren't exactly friends, they're not enemies either.
The cracks are another addition to his nightmares but they are never about him. They're always about the brothers lost. He'll sadly never get over the ones they have lost.
He often visits their large stone brother in Kryptarium prison but yet again, he is unable to get him released. They are willing to consider letting him out after a year or more of good behaviour but he isn't allowed to live in heavily populated areas and considering that Kozu lives in New Ninjago city with their remaining brothers, it just adds to his modern dilemmas.
The other stone soldiers help out as much as they can but they're still learning English and it's a vital language to be able to work. They often contemplated simply going back to the Dark Island and living there instead of dealing with mortal problems but the thought of so few of them being alone on a massive continent, reminded that again of the many they lost didn't bode well with them. They too suffer the mental trauma of all they have been though. They make plans to move to a more secluded area.
This Au is still a wip but the Overlord is gonna make an appearance and get a redemption arc since I somehow made myself believe he can be redeemed and I like what I've done with him so far. The angst to come with that is even worse because Cryptor is alive in this au and they gonna straight up try to murder the Overlord ever chance they get, even after he's well on the way to redemption.
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bemmiecake · 6 years ago
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“They left us with nothing.”
Ninjago Angst Week day 2: Nightmare.
There is a dark spot on your heart. You might not notice at first, but it’s there. 
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ravenroyal21 · 6 years ago
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Ninjago Angst Week | Day One - Betrayal
It’s Ninjago Angst Week and you bet I’m doing this. Everything in this story is for PLOT CONVIENCE XD
Trigger Warnings -
Major Character Death
Torture and Blood
Silence followed Lloyd as he walked the empty abyss, nothing made sense and he couldn’t find reality in the empty space as he much as he tried to. His feet made splashing sounds to his surprise, looking down he found himself up to knees in black water and the water levels were quickly rising to his panic. He turned around to look for land seeing only darkness around him. The water got to his neck as he frantically tried to stop the water, taking a deep breath the water went over his head and he started to drift down to the bottom of….whatever this is.
Lloyd….
Staring up he saw a small light break through the water illuminating the waves of the water above his head but he didn’t feel panicked anymore. His will to breath left him, he closed his eyes and he let himself sink deeper into the water as the light started to fade again.
Lloyd!
He opened his eyes after hearing a faint voice say his name. That wasn’t real….
Lloyd! I need you to wake up!
Okay he definitely heard that, turning around his body swished in the water as he looked for the source of the voice. All at once it came again, telling him to wake up and that this was dream. He believed it, he started to swim toward the surface as black tendrils came up from the bottom to wrap around his legs. Lloyd shouted only for it to come up as bubbles as he kicked his legs getting closer to the surface.
LLOYD! PLEASE WAKE UP!
One tendril grabbed his leg only for Lloyd to kick it over, he could see the surface getting closer to him. Two more tendrils wrapped around his right leg as the tips of his fingers breached the surface. He tried to kick them off but it wouldn’t work and he was jerked down back into the depths. More grabbed his other leg and his left hand, Lloyd struggled in their grip as the surface started to get farther away from his. The voice started shouting again and Lloyd summoned his power shooting the tendrils on his legs, they shied away from his legs as did the ones on his arm and he made a break for the surface.
____
His eyes opened and he jerked forward taking in deep breathes as his eyes adjusted to the dark around him. He pulled forward only for his arms to get yanked backward and his balance to be thrown off. Turning to his arms he saw large chains coming from the wall to connect to the cuffs around his wrists. Pulling on the chains only proved his point, leaning against the wall he looked around the room seeing a flickering light coming from his left sight.
Lloyd followed the light to the other person in the room, Zane. Also chained to the wall but in considerable worse shape. Black liquid ran down his face and his eyes flickered like they were dying and his inner parts were exposed through what was left of his gi, his entire left leg was gone replaced with only sparking wires and black liquid making a puddle.
“Zane?” Lloyd asked in whisper seeing the nindroid give him a soft smile, it was then that Lloyd noticed bandages covering his arms and the feeling of it wrapped around his torso. “It’s good to see you awake.”
“Zane, where are we?” The nindroid’s gaze flickered toward the door in the cell before his body shuddered and the light in his eyes went out. Lloyd panicked, his body working on autopilot moving toward his teammate only to be violently yanked back by the chains. Tears pricked the edges of his eyes as he pulled on his chains to get to Zane but was given a small moment of relief as Zane’s eyes flickered faintly back to life.
Zane’s body gasped as the light returned, the nindroid blinking before apologizing to Lloyd. “I’m sorry Lloyd, I didn’t mean to um….shut down on you.” The green ninja shifted uncomfortably at the words knowing that Zane as in much more pain then he let on but he didn’t have time to dwell on it as the door to the cell jingled and opened.
On reflex Lloyd (tried to) get into defense position as Zane shrunk back into himself, an odd sight for the usually stoic ninja of ice. Lloyd’s eyes widened as Kai stepped into the room, but it wasn’t his Kai, hell Kai’s eyes weren’t usually fucking purple.
“So the esteemed green ninja is finally awake.” Kai went further into the room kneeling in front of the master of energy taking Lloyd’s face in his hand and turning it from side to side, pain searing through Lloyd’s temple.
“You’re lucky the junkpile made us put some first-aid on you. Not sure you’d still be alive if we didn’t and then where would be?” Kai’s voice was grating on the ears and glitched like….like….
Lloyd jerked back violently from Kai’s grasp pushing himself against the wall as the realization dawned on him. It was the Overlord, somehow still alive and possessing Kai. Kai frowned at him standing up, turning his body toward Zane who shut his eyes tightly curling tighter on himself. Purple seared itself into Lloyd’s eyes as the sheer look of disgust was plain in Kai’s face, as he walked over to the terrified ninja of ice.
Kai chuckled, the sound made for nightmares as he grabbed a blade that was hidden under his clothing placing the tip under Zane’s chin, “It would be a shame for this thing to die, I was having fun with it.”
“Don’t touch him,” Lloyd growled out, but Kai only blinked in response staring Zane dead in the eye. “Do tell me green ninja, how important was this scrap metal to you that it broke your team when he died? That it shattered the elemental ninja so much that it took a letter to get you back together with his face on it.”
Lloyd’s eyes narrowed in pure distain at Kai’s, no, the Overlord’s words against the nindroid. Zane’s gaze mets Lloyd’s for a split second, sorrow painted across the luminesce pupils. Don’t do this Zane.
“I’m sorry Lloyd,” Zane’s hands jerked forward, ice encircling the old chain as his arms strained against before the metal cracked and his robotic body was able to break the chain as Kai shouted and rolled back. Placing his hands on the ground ice came up from the ground surrounding Lloyd in protective shield as Kai got his footing again. The ice grew through the chains and Lloyd pulled on it finding the chain able to shatter before a short scream echoed the cell.
Lloyd looked up to see the blade of scythe breaking through Zane’s middle letting oil leak onto the floor surrounded by the shattered pieces of his power source. Time slowed down as Zane made eye contact with Lloyd one last time, a smile painted onto his face as his eyes went again and this time Lloyd knew they wouldn’t come back on. The blade of the scythe lowered the nindroid’s body onto the floor as it was pulled out of the twisted metal. Numb Lloyd grabbed the edge of one of the ice shards as he met the eyes of Cole, tinted a deep purple.
The earth ninja watched as Kai kneeled next to Zane’s body picking up a piece of his power source turning it over in his hand. Kai tsked throwing it back on the ground, and standing up, “Get him.” Cole turned his gaze to Lloyd whose eyes were still on Zane and was about to start attacking but stopped.
Tears rolled down the green ninja’s cheeks and something flickered in his mind. Flashes of green and white rolled around his head, before the picture of a much younger Lloyd appeared, tears down his face in the same format only for the young ninja to be picked up by someone clad in white. The someone started telling jokes that didn’t make sense to get the younger to laugh and after a brief moment of confusion it did, the two laughing as Lloyd hugged the other in thanks. Cole jerked back and the picture disappear replaced by the adult Lloyd screaming in rage as Kai yelled at him. Shaking his head he went for his scythe only for green fire to hit the handle of it and he jerked back.
Kai stumbled back out of the cell as Lloyd’s eyes glowed green and red, his power starting to get out of control but Cole stood where he was. Lloyd silenced himself, tears still sliding down his face as the green ninja raised his hand, energy dancing on the bandaged skin. Both paused for a moment silence filling the space before lightning interrupted the two. Lloyd’s gaze shifted for a moment and Cole saw the opportunity and took.
He raced forward as Lloyd turned his attention back to the ninja of earth but it was too late. Cole’s fist slammed against Lloyd’s face, sending the green ninja to his knees blood seeping from the broken skin. Lifting his leg to kick the ninja unconscious he paused seeing two eyes looked back at him full with unshed tears but he shook it off and brought his foot down.
____
Kai locked the door behind them, as Cole looked at the left over blood on his fingers. Jay came up from behind him, as Kai huffed in annoyance.
“What the hell? Why did you freeze I gave you an order!” Cole turned to the sound of the Overlord’s voice seeing the former master of fire tap his foot awaiting an response.
“I apologize sir, it won’t happen again.” Kai narrowed his eyes as Jay left the room going to another place in the base as the fiery teen pulled Cole down by his collar. “It better fucking not.”
Kai released the fabric and stalked off, probably to the main control room as Cole looked back at the cell door. His scythe was in his hand and he looked at it seeing both burn marks and oil decorating it and his heart twisted. Something screamed at him to stop and he flinched painfully, turning around seeing no one there before looking back at the cell door and something deep inside him told he just betrayed people he most loved. An tear rolled down his face before it was hastily wiped away and he left to the barracks, oil starting seep through the cell dooe, glinting green in the luminescent lighting.
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belle-waves · 6 years ago
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Idk this picture isn’t very original but it was the first thing to come to mind when I read nightmare. This is for day two (nightmare) of ninjago angst week. I think it looks okay tho <3
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