#nightmare could be that strong)
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Happy womb escape anniversary @cakesmelons !! Your getting old !! Anyways I dunno if this is a great bday present I just associate u with Dreamtale so that's what you get anyways I think I signed a contract with the devil one way or another because I am. Dying. And have been dying through the process of creating this. Anyways hope ur having an incredible day !! I am now to go to bed
Oh and the bonus; me taking you to some timeline where nightmare kills dream<3
#cakesmelons#Dreamtale#oh god not the tags#sans au#utmv#undertale au#lord save me#dream sans#nightmare sans#sighs the strong physically and the strong mentally#a great pair of brothers truly that I wish could just sort their shit out because oh my god you two r pathetic#UwU#it's been a while since I've put a watermark on my pieces....#Guh dream is so pretty#I recognise I am tired because now my thoughts are all fluffy
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New Age AU (Cross' Spy Adventures)
Hi guys! I'm back! This one has been eating at me so forgive me if it's a bit rougher than the others, but I hope you still enjoy! (And if plot details don't seem to line up? Remember Cross has no clue what's going on yet :] )
Context: Cross has been asked by Dream to do recover information on his brother's next plans of attack. He's not a very good spy.
(Hi to @ancha-aus @papiliovolens and @mutzelputz !!!)
Stars this place was big.
He'd almost forgotten what it felt like to be on a castle grounds after so many years roughing it with Ink. Inns and taverns and tents. He wasn't sure how much he enjoyed being back in the throes of the rich and powerful's estates.
The cart-ride with the other new recruits had been pleasant enough, they were all decently friendly guys. A few were putting on that tough-guy facade, but none of them could've been older than 25. Fresh off the press, practically. Perfect soldiers to be brainwashed.
Cross had laughed and joked with them about what life in the castle might be like. How different it would be from the old daily grind. How maybe they'd pick up a hot partner in town on their patrols. How they hoped they'd eat like kings.
Though, Cross noticed that each of them got cagey when word of the King resurfaced. One birdish-monster mourned that she couldn't have served the last King, Nim, before she passed on to join the gods. Another spoke of the honor it would bring for him to serve the blood of Nim.
They seemed averse to even acknowledging King Nightmare's existence. Aside from his connection to Nim.
Now, the chatter was all silent, and Cross was among the many new soldiers who were ogling the castle as they passed around its outer wall and entered through a side gate.
It was, admittedly, impressive.
His own home kingdom had less of a castle, more of a monolith. It had been dense, and tall, and impossibly smooth. His father couldn't stand imperfection.
This castle was almost the exact opposite of what Cross had always known. The walls imperfect and overlapping, rather than brick it looked like it had burst straight up from the ground. Bumpy and imperfect and natural, and yet beautiful and structurally stable. He didn't linger on it, but he wanted to so badly.
Instead, he drew his attention ahead. To where a man stood, his armor decorated in the marks which indicated him as a reporting officer.
This man, a human with a crooked nose and a thick, black, beard held up a hand, and the driver of the cart tugged at his reigns, the horses pulling to a slow stop.
One by one, once given the signal, the soldiers filed out. Stating their rank, their camp of origin, and their name.
Cross was middle of the pack, and saluted the human as Dream had taught him and as everyone had done before him.
"1st Year Guard, Pierson Camp, Z." He reported.
He was not proud of his code-name. It physically hurt to say it with a straight face, but when he'd been talking about needing a new code name, Ink had excitedly suggested it.
Z, he'd said, Like 'X' but not! And Cross hadn't been able to shut the idea down when Dream had giggled and tapped his cheekbone, the spot just under his eyelight that held is scar.
Dream had called it fitting, and it'd been settled in a heartbeat.
Cross managed to say it aloud without any hint of suspicion and was waved off to join his fellow recruits.
They lined up haphazardly, but didn't dare to do more than grin and snicker between eachother at. Well. Anything, it seemed. They were taking this very casually compared to what Cross had been expecting.
Though, the moment the captain was done looking to the cart for any stragglers, he turned. The soldiers all went still and aligned themselves.
Cross wondered how they survived training if they goofed off like that so readily.
He watched as the cart which had brought them circled away, and he listened carefully as the man introduced himself.
"I am Captain Rogers. Your platoon will report to me for any and all management. I control your training schedules, your mealtimes, and your work hours." He called out to them, right there on the lawn "you are here today to serve the blood of the gods, and by Nim's watch you will not slack on your oath. No matter how much you loathe it here. Understood?"
Such a bold declaration of... unrest.
The soldiers, one by one, gave affirmative nods and salutes, Cross making sure he wasn't the first. He didn't want to seem too eager.
The captain led them about.
He asked for them to stay in formation, and Cross ended up towards the middle of the pack yet again, just close enough to hear the explanations of their duties, places on the grounds they were allowed to go, and what their daily routine was meant to be like.
Near the stables, they paused briefly, and the Captain was taking an extra long time explaining that the horses in the stables were not to be ridden without explicate orders from him or another commanding officer.
Cross couldn't help but notice the guys ahead of him whispering about something, and Cross followed their miniscule gestures off to the left.
A black cat, wirey and short-hair. It was standing in the shadow of a fence, and he didn't think he would've spotted it if it weren't for its big, green eyes. They were like little saucers in its head.
It was staring straight at him. Tail flicking. One ear twitched.
Cross tried to ignore it, but when he'd glance back, it was still there.
Until, suddenly, it wasn't.
By the time they moved on, it was nowhere in sight.
His old home hadn't had many animals, especially not roaming cats. He wondered if it was a 'barn cat'. Blue had explained the concept to him once.
Regardless, that thing was freaky.
Finally, after what felt like hours of walking, the Captain announced that their last stop of the night would be to their quarters.
He could practically feel the relief rolling off of the guys next to him, and it took am effort to let his shoulders sag even an inch in imitation. The guy next to him looked like he might fall over, and Cross shared none of that exhaustion.
They would start their assignments bright and early in the morning, each of them would have a more experienced guard join them as a guiding measure before they were left to the duties themselves.
A much kinder grace period than Cross had been expecting, honestly.
The Captain escorted them down the halls, long and twisting. Each one held soldiers out of uniform, turning in for the night, going through their routines. As well as some moving out for the night shift. They ignored the rookies as they kept to their own business.
The Captain swung a door open, only to immediately block the soldiers in front from entering the space of relaxation beyond.
"Ah, Ccino, I was worried we'd missed you." The Captain spoke up.
"Soldiers, back up. Stand at attention." Came an order next.
Cross was faster than the others in recognizing the order, but forced himself to wait until the others stumbled into him to start moving. He wasn't sure why they were getting into this stance, but he knew better than to start asking questions.
They all stood in the hall, and Cross caught a few snickers from nearby lounging guards as the rookies stood there.
"The King called upon me, so I wasn't able to meet you where we had planned," a softer, calm, voice rang, "I figured I would run into you here before you turned in for your first night."
The Captain stood before them, and beside him, exiting the barracks, was a monster.
Cross tried not to stare, but he couldn't deny that this was odd. He'd never known a captain to bend to anyone but a higher up. But...
This skeleton was dressed in a servant's uniform. Granted, it was made of a thick, soft-looking brown and tan fabric, with an apron with more embroidery than he thought he'd ever seen in his life, but it was nothing too out of place.
Surely it wasn't a Knight. No, he'd been told they wore masks. He could tell this skeleton was not a Knight. He could see the full skull, soft and gentle, calm eyelights, and a body Cross swore had never seen a single battle.
No. Cross, stop that.
He didn't tear his eyes away, but he forced himself to look back to the skeleton's shoulder. No eye-contact, but still facing him. Good.
"Soldiers, This is our Head of House, Ccino." The Captain gestured to the skeleton at his side.
The soldiers all remained silent, and the captain nodded.
"If Ccino ever gives you any sort of order, you listen." The Captain's voice was harsh with this, the same way he'd spoken about the horses, and the kitchen, and the private training rooms they'd passed. "No questions, no hesitation, no disobeying. You understand?"
The squint of the Captain's eyes were more than enough for Cross to know better than to ask. Something like this was unfamiliar, for sure, but he knew when a soldier was saying something he truly believed in. Lived by. For better or worse.
None of the other recruits seemed to speak up. Cross certainly didn't. He tried not to let his nerves show as this skeleton, Ccino, let's his soft white eyelights skim softly from one soldier to the next. When they came to him, he desperately avoided the gaze, practically staring a hole into the soft fur scarf wrapped around his neck, hiding his spine from view.
"It's a pleasure to meet all of you," That calm voice again, "As you heard, my name is Ccino. I manage the Castle, it's grounds, and the people who stay within our walls. This includes all if you, as of tonight."
He seemed rather put-together. Pleasant. Cross didn't feel any unease. He was positive, now, that this was not a Knight. Yet, he couldn't figure out why such a monster would be held in such high regard, unless, of course...
"As you heard, our King trusts my decisions regarding these matters, which is why he asks you listen to my requests. However, I don't abuse this privilege, and it shouldn't dissuade you from coming to me if you have any problems." Ccino pulled his arms to cross infront of him, and once again looked over the recruits. "You may be our guard, but that does not mean you shouldn't recieve help as well. If you cannot find me, ask another servant and they will get word to me."
Ccino seemed... kind. That had to be it.
The sparkle of admiration in the captain's eyes. The way some of the soldiers watched. Maybe Ccino was the golden light in this dark place? Though, that didn't seem quite right.
"Stick to your duties, remain diligent, and you will be cared for here." He said softly. "Now, stand down and go rest. Your training tomorrow will be thorough, and you will need the extra sleep."
Oh.
Cross recognized the order, and his body moved a bit before his mind could catch up. He relaxed, as much as he naturally could, and took a step. Toward the barracks. Then paused and glanced like a deer in the headlights to the Captain and the Head of House.
Ccino just smiled, and the Captain seemed stoic.
"Seems Z gets first dibs on the cots!" The Captain announced, and with his approval, humor seeping into his tone a bit, and laughter echoing from the older guard who'd been observing?
Cross made the quick duck into the room and grabbed for the first cot he saw. Bottom bunk, closest to the door, the easiest way he'd be able to leave the long room of bunk beds.
The others hurried in after him, some laughing, others cursing jokingly at Cross having noticed the test first.
The test.
Of course it'd been a test. A test to see if they'd recognize Ccino as an authority figure. A test to see if they took the warning seriously. Cross just listened to the superior officer. And... put himself in the limelight of excelling new recruits.
If there was one good thing, though it was mortifying, the others didn't seem to notice what it was. They were too busy teasing Cross for the grape blush that enveloped his face the moment he sat to think it over. The others assumed he'd just slipped up. Listened to the prettiest person in the room.
Once again, Cross wondered how they'd made it through training. Though, it was good they just thought he was a stupid lover boy. Better than them realizing he was following orders on instinct.
It'd been a hard sell, getting to sleep, but he'd managed somehow.
.
The morning was much easier than the night prior. He woke up before the sun, before a lot of the others even showed signs of stirring. It was good he got up so early, sneaking off probably wouldn't be much of an issue.
Tomorrow, then. He'd do his sneaking tomorrow, after he got a lay of the land today. From what they'd been told, he'd be supervised today. Everyone would. It was different from what the Prince had told him, but it didn't matter. Policies could change, and Cross knew better than to disobey new policies.
The castle inside felt like a maze yesterday, he'd hopefully have routes inside, so he'd be able to memorize at least a few escapes. Orient himself. Worst case he could break a window.
He didn't want to leave any trace, though. The best scenario, as Dream had explained it, was that he'd get in, get the information, and get out. A week, maybe a week and a half tops. Cross wanted to spend as little time here as possible. He didn't want to fall into whatever mind-control he'd been warned of. He didn't want to run into the Knights. He certainly didn't want to see Dream's twin.
Though, he was curious. What he looked like. If he could see the sibling resemblance between the Prince and his supposedly brainwashed ruler of a sibling. It was honestly none of his business. If the King never saw his face, that would be all the better. He shouldn't know Cross was ever here at all.
The thoughts swirled in hid head as he stared at the bottom of the cot above his. Wood slats, the whole thing was sturdy wood, with decent mattresses and blankets and pillows resting on its support. It didn't creak at all, which was good. And surprising. Everything in the castle seemed so nice.
Mm, must've been a thing for the people here. Serve the 'gods' and live in luxury. It certainly seemed that was how the Prince's camp had run as well.
Cross couldn't be sure how long he was awake, examining the room and sitting still, but the sun managed to rise into the sky by the time he'd heard the slamming knock on the door to the barracks.
It was easy for him. When the Captain swung the door wide open and announced, in a hardy shout, that they were to be in the hall in 5? Cross rolled out of bed the moment the door closed again.
It pained him to move so slowly. He couldn't be the first one out again. Couldn't be the first one dressed. He didn't know why it took so long for the others to change to their uniforms and rub the sleep from their eyes. Monsters and humans alike! They hustled, some of them, and Cross was grateful a cat monster seemed to gather herself more readily than the others. An orange striped cat, her nose and the tip of her tail a stark white. Cross only noticed her when she rushed for the door, and he let himself trail her a moment later.
Thinking back, she'd been at the back of the group yesterday, joking with some of the others. Cross wondered what the energy change was all about.
He didn't get time to worry about it, though. The hall outside the barracks was busier than it had been last night, and Cross found himself facing, not only the Captain, but also several guards. They each seemed to be in full uniform, different than Cross' or the cat's which marked them as trainees. They seemed stoic before their captain, and Cross almost felt a moment if relief. Maybe this was a decent show of artillery?
No, wait, strong soldiers would be bad for the Prince. He'd have to get through these guys.
He shook away the thought, listening in as he stood awkwardly in the hall, another recruit lumbering out to stand where he'd joined the cat already.
The Captain looked them over, before nodding.
"Harper, you're with Jenna." The Captain ordered, pointing from the cat before gesturing towards one of the guard directly behind him.
Cross tried not to let his eyelights give away his observance as the guard stepped around her captain. She seemed to be a bunny monster, lots of fur and long, floppy ears tied behind her head. She, Jenna, saluted the cat, Harper, and Harper saluted in return.
"Listen to what your mentor tells you, got it?" The Captain asked, and Cross saw a few others exiting as he said this.
Those who started moving down the hall, and the Capatin looked to Cross. It was a kick glance, one look-over, before he turned and looked over his shoulder.
"Z, you're with Shep." And a gesture guided Cross towards whoever his mentor for the day would be.
From nearly the back of the crowd, snaked a dog monster. Black and white, short-trimmed fur. His eyes were brown and intense, and after a moment Cross realized this guard was shorter than him. He didn't like that when Shep saluted, he had to peer down to salute back.
He hardly even registered that they were already moving off, not unlike the two before them had done, until he'd taken a few steps to follow this small royal guard.
"So, you're Z?" Shep asked him as they stopped a few halls away. This one was largely barren aside from a few servants. Along each wall hung a huge tapestry, woven out of heavy threads and hung by a long piece of metal along the top edge.
"Yes, sir." Cross responded shortly. Not giving himself a moment to stammer.
Shep looked at his quizzically, before he leaned forward and sniffed. Actually just sniffed at Cross. It was still a few inches away, they didn't make contact, but suddenly he worried he was stinky. He's bathed before hopping on the cart, and he hadn't been exercising much, surely-
"Ah, you're not from this Kingdom! Not originally, at least." Shep said then, leaning away just as quickly as he'd gotten close.
Cross blinked, and he was sure his skull didn't hide his shock as well as he'd hoped. "I can smell the pollen on you, newbie. We don't have those kinda plants in this kingdom." He explained, and Cross internally cursed himself. Would he have to run? Would he have to-
"You know, I'm not from this kingdom either, I was born to the west." Shep admitted then, easily, using a paw to gesture loosely at the space between them, "I bet we'll get along just fine, newbie. C'mon. I'll show you around your route."
Cross didn't even get a spare second to defend himself, or puzzle at why a foreign monster would choose to come here. Shep was already on his way, back turned and hurrying down the hall at a brisk pace.
"As far as I know You're gonna be taking over my old route, inner portion of the castle." Cross listened, but orders were his second nature. As they walked, he eyed the tapestries hung along the wall. Long and intense, and yet, there was a moment where Cross could see the colors were more faded and worn.
"You'll mostly just be patrolling, watching out for anything out of the ordinary, waiting to see if you're needed for any specific duties." The images showed monsters, humans, monsters again. Depictions of complex circles and red splashes dripping from weapons and hands. And he noticed a trend, eventually. These must've been the previous rulers. The past Kings.
"Your patrols will be alone, the rooms in the hall aren't too important, and it's mostly servants that pass through that way." Cross almost lost his rhythm as they drew to the end of the tapestry, though the hall kept moving. There on the tapestry was a depiction of two little skeletons, one which seemed strikingly similar to Prince Dream, even in his adulthood. Beyond, the tapestry simply stopped. It was odd that King Nightmare hadn't bothered to get it finished with his own visage. Maybe his puppetmaster was waiting to put himself there instead?
"Still important, anyways. The servants halls are the easiest ways in and out of the castle, so we can't slack off." They turned a corner, and Cross pried his eyes away from the tapestry and back before him.
They passed a few more halls, before Shep stopped dead in his tracks, and Cross reacted quickly, spotting the way he peaked around the next corner.
Across the way, Cross spotted that they'd run into another pair who had also stopped. Only when Shep saluted did Cross think to follow his lead.
From the hall he couldn't see, emerged a figure.
Cross kept his eyelights to the ground, but the steps, the shoes, the heavy cape, and especially the dark and slimey tendrils which snaked along in his wake? That was the King. The one Dream had been so particular about not running into at all.
Two sets of feet followed him. Closely. He didn't have to look up to recognize that they must've been Knights. The easy weight of their steps, how close they stuck behind the king, the weight of the one's magic? Surely. He didn't risk a glance until after Shep lifted his head again. Cross only caught a glimpse of a tiger mask turning another corner before the three figures were gone.
In the tense silence, Cross swore he could hear his soul beating. He wasn't sure if it was fear, or indignance, or something else, but he knew being so close to the King had not made him feel good. Dream had been right, something about that guy was wrong.
Shep glanced around, and his ear twitched, watching down the hall where they'd left to.
The group across from them was already moving, towards the hall Cross had just cone from.
"You know, you kids are lucky Newbie." Shep voiced then, eying up the human rookie who was passing by. "When I first joined the guard, the King cut my tail off to prove my loyalty."
He said it so easily that Cross was speechless. What did he mean? Was. His tail was docked, but...
"What?!" The panicked whisper came from the passing humans who had obviously been eavesdropping. He expressed the concern coating Cross's soul and freezing him in place.
"Yep. I heard he used it as a cat toy for the strays." Shep confirmed loosely.
"Shep." Came the snap of his name from the other trained guard, though they didn't move to deny his claim.
Cross hadn't heard anything about that from Dream. Of course, he also hadn't heard about this introduction process either. He was flying blindly here, and suddenly he feared for his limbs.
Shep simply shrugged and kept moving forward. Cross wanted, badly, to excuse himself right this moment and go back and claim he couldn't do it. But he was here now, and he had a Prince to help. And a whole lot of people relying on him to prevent more tragedies.
The training wasn't hard. Shep stood with him, made small-talk, told him all the tricks to ensure he knew when someone would switch off with him, and then they had lunch.
He hated to admit it, but the food was delicious. He hadn't had something so filling in... maybe ever. He couldn't put his finger on it, not quite, but for monster food, it felt solid. Warmer. He felt less hungry after, and a part of him wondered if that was how they did it. The mind control. Was it the food?
But, no, surely not. He was still set on his mission when he went right back to his rounds. The food was just... strangely good.
The rest of the rounds were easy. Simple. And there was at least an hour after where Shep willingly guided him through the rest of the building. At least, anywhere he could.
Cross noticed, once, that Shep broke a rule. He ducked into the kitchen. Returned to a surprised Cross with two pieces of bread and handed one to Cross before tearing into his own. Apparently, from what Shep said, the main kitchen wasn't off-limits. Not really. Just the private one.
He didn't ask about the difference, he wouldn't need to know, after all. He doubted plans of attack were stached in the cupboards of a pantry.
And just as swiftly as it had begun, it ended. Shep said he'd be around the training grounds tomorrow if Cross needed him, and released him to dinner. After Dinner, Cross went back to the barracks.
Many of the rookies were talking all about their routes, others complaining that they had gotten cleaning duties for being the last out of the barracks that morning. They'd start training tomorrow. Cross tried not to contribute much, but he liked listening in. Understanding more about the place. The people.
It sounded like the King had crossed quite a few of their paths as well, and they didn't seem happy about it. Discussing in hushed tones how weird the King was compared to the last. Dark, secretive, hardly even a ruler. Cruel. He heard the human from before shamelessly telling Shep's tail misfortune to the gathered group, who all seemed to be riled up by it, exchanging other horrible speculations.
He needed to get this information. He just... he couldn't do anything until the others were asleep. So. Morning it would be.
.
Cross was a coward.
He knew as much, deep down somewhere, but as he woke up early again, he thought through his plan. He didn't know where he'd find any of this information he needed, he didn't know anything beyond his own route. He didn't even know what he'd be finding. He'd know when he found it, he was sure, but the last thing he wanted to do was get caught
He should've excused himself during dinner to go search around, or chosen a buddy to go wandering with. Shep had told him some things, he knew the room where the Knights trained was the indoor room, and he knew some areas no one went to. He knew the hall where the Knights and King stayed, Cross found it interesting they all stayed nearby, and he'd promised himself he'd avoid the space like the plague. He knew so much, and so little, all at once.
And he waited, thinking, so long that he... he just got up as the others did. Moved to his station to rotate shifts with the night guards. He just... did his duties again.
Well, they weren't his duties. He had no obligation to be here, not really. But the Prince had told him a week. A week and a half. That would make the most sense for an in and out. So, he wanted to respect that. And he had orders now to act out. Surely if he slacked off it'd be noticed, right? Yeah. He'd just slip away before dinner and say he went to train a bit more. Peak into some doorways. No biggy. Surely.
He worried about what he'd do to pick up a slack he hadn't even lost, all day. All through his rounds. If he showed it, his replacement at his last post said nothing, and waved him off.
Cross wanted so desperately to go searching. But. Before he could pass by the hall which would lead to the mess hall for the servants and guard? He glimpsed them from down the adjoining hall.
Two of the Knights.
One with a hood obscuring his face, casting a heavy shadow over everything, his eyelights a dull white. Though he didn't see a mask at first glance, Cross had to make some assumptions based on the one beside him that they were both Knights.
The other had on leather training armor, and a tiger's mask, red ribbons hanging from it, swaying with weight. He could see the skeleton's grin peaking from beneath the mask, and noticed how the tiger draped an arm over the other and laughed.
Cross didn't even give them a second to notice him, swiftly stepping out of the corridor and towards the dining halls after all. He didn't want to get in the way. He didn't want to be on their radar.
He needed to know when they trained. When they'd all be occupied so he wouldn't have to worry about them catching him off-guard.
Off guard. Ink would be having a hayday with that one if he'd made that joke back at camp.
Cross just kept moving forward, ducking into the dining space before the Knights even reached that hall.
.
Three days. It took him 6 whole days to learn more. To learn where the information might be. To learn where the Knights usually were at any given time. To learn how to navigate the place better. To not worry about getting caught.
He'd gone back to Shep one day, to test if he'd be told to go off the dinner or if he'd be sought out. He was not, so he had his proof that no one cared so long as he was doing his rounds.
He'd sat and talked. Asked about the Knights. (Shep had little to say that Cross didn't already know). Asked about training. (Shep said he was always out here now, running routines.) Asked about the king.
And Shep was interested about him asking on the King. Cross almost fumbled, but said he'd heard a lot of rumors. Shep had been here a while. What was true?
And Shep told him stories. In a low voice. Of the King breaking spines, of throwing objects with his tendrils, of sentencing folks to death over minor transgressions. Of his ruthless rule and cruel first. How he brought in servants and guards by force. Ripping them from their homes. How the king would declare traitors and have them hung.
Eventually, Cross asked him to stop. He'd heard enough.
Some of those things he'd heard from Dream, or the folks back at that encampment. Others were new. Insider information. Things he'd never dreamed of.
It was informational, and Cross decided that he'd keep learning more, until he was sure he had the perfect moment to strike.
.
He wasn't the smartest, okay?
Cross had done his rounds, and the moment he was done, he scurried off towards his destination.
He paid no mind to servants or guards, and used a servant's hall to arrive in the location he needed. The hall where the King's Study was located.
Yesterday he'd investigated the war room. Entering and closing the doors behind him, the room had been a mess of papers and figures and notes. The maps of each neighboring kingdom alone were strewn on walls, like the ravings of a mad-man. None of them had plans of attack, though. The light from his eyelights had been enough to illuminate each one as he approached. Every single one was a new defensive plan. Ways to deploy troops if they were attacked. Not one seemed unprovoked which was... strange.
Cross was almost unable to find any sign of the King's next route of action for his destructive feats, so he was resigned to search the study tomorrow. His only solace was that exiting the War Room had only been met with a servant a ways down the hall, and a cat pacing by, paying him no mind.
The cats in this place were many. Cross had never seen so many cats in one place, and when he'd asked at dinner, it seemed that everyone thought they belonged to the Head of House, Ccino.
It would make sense, Cross had seen the embroidery along his apron, plenty of paws and cat-like figures along the hemlines, between the branch and tree motif the entire building seemed set on holding tight to. But, it amazed him that there would be so many, allowed to run free. The King must've been very lenient with his Head of House, to allow so many creatures free-roam.
...then again, the Knights wore masks decorated with Big Cats. Cross had finally caught a glimpse of the Lion, out on the lawn while he was talking to Shep. He carried an Axe twice the size of Cross' torso, and he seemed to wield it with hardly any problem. Cross just hoped the little beasts weren't being sacrificed. He'd heard about the barbaric practices from Ink once when he had his head on straight. He hadn't had the guts to bring it up to the Prince. Or Shep. Fearing the answer.
And so, now, he moved for the study. When he knew no one would be around, when no one would see him or bother him. He could dig through the information, tuck it away in his ribcage, and get out of dodge.
It was mid-day. Apparently the Knights tended to have training about now, and the King always supervised. So the forbidden hall, as the others called it, was dead and silent.
It wasn't hard to determine which door was the study, the door was carved carefully with a beautiful tree, and the handle was a shining gold, as though it got less use than the other rooms. He tested the handle, it moved, and he slipped inside.
Of course it wouldn't be locked. Who would have the guts to go snooping around in the private spaces of murderous tyrant kings? Well. Cross would, but that was besides the point.
The inside was lit by a few stray candles, and Cross tried not to marvel at the luxury of the room. Everything was carved out of dark wood, with golden fabric lacing the cushions of lounge seats and the curtains which covered the windows. It was darker, used, but still gorgeous. The daylight filtered in through an open window, giving it a warm ambience. Cross didn't know how a room used by such an unpleasant man would be so calm and soft.
There was a case along one wall, large and long. Hung inside were masks of all different shapes and styles. Some were decorated with swirls and gems, but most resembled animals. A crane, a swan, a horse, a sheep, a hawk, a wolf, they all stared out at him with blank, empty, sockets. He wondered if these were used or not, but they seemed untouched.
And beside that case, in the far corner, sat a heavy desk, with bookshelves filled to the brim tucked just behind it.
The desk was heavy, and it looked to be covered with papers, letter drafts, just a quick glance over the contents told Cross this was just what he needed.
He stood behind the desk, unable to stop himself from lifting the papers up into his hands. From here he could see the door, as well. He'd know if someone was coming.
The first paper he looked at seemed to be the draft of a letter, addressed to someone by the name of Crop. The handwriting was beautiful, and Cross was lucky Ink knew how to write in so many dialects, or he'd have trouble deciphering exactly what this was saying. The cursive was precise. And... it seemed a half-finished letter asking about plants. The state of a harvest? No, that's strange.
Cross lifted the few pages which had been tucked beneath the first, confused. These ones seemed to be written in a much more unsure writing, but they held what he could only call sketches. Showing clouds and plants and... fields? Cross wasn't familiar with farming, but he could recognize a field anywhere. The paper had a few words underlined and circled, and they seemed to be later additions, added overtop by someone else. The words seemed to be mentioned again in the letter draft? It was completely innocuous. If this was the King's letter, he was just asking about the wellbeing of a farmer's harvest. Asking about improvements.
He moved them hastily into a stack and set them aside, reaching for the next haphazard bundle of paper. That couldn't have been right.
The next piece he scooped up was in that same pretty cursive, but this time it wasn't a letter. Instead it was some sort of list. Locations, some crossed off, and some untouched. Was this what he was searching for? Surely this was it.
He moved to grab the next page that had been beneath it. It held more context, it seemed. Notes scribbled down about how these towns needed changes. Action. Cross looked to the first crossed-off name, one he recognized from one of the woman at Dream's encampment.
The paper read of a faulty justice system, a lawman who needed to be checked up on for counts of bribery and false accusations. She'd said the Knight, the tiger, had arrived and asked for their head of city guard, the one who enforced rules and kept peace in their small village. Two days later he was killed, replaced by someone the King installed, and he started jailing innocent folks.
Cross looked to the next one, a pass where travel had been haunted by the royal guard. He'd been told they'd done it to halt people from mining in the area, a crop of wealth the King wanted to hoard. But this said that it was a mountain pass with frequent and dangerous rocks lines thanks to a sudden increase in storms since his rule. Notes reminding of supplies, and pay, and signs. Signs.
The next was not crossed off. An issue of bandits ransacked the town when people would enter or exit. Notes in messier scrawl seemed to pose solutions. Ideas. One that was circled said 'Send Horror, Autumn'. It was nearing the end of summer now.
This did seem to be the list that Dream had suggested existed, my twin is organized, he'll have a list with extensive notes, but he'd said nothing about the way the list wouldn't actually contain anything incriminating.
He skimmed again, but it seemed like nothing harmful. One lower down even acknowledged a damage caused during some sort of raid and to divert funds to someone. A random shopkeep in an outer city. This didn't add up at all.
He folded the paper silently and stuffed it into his armor, but kept looking. No doubt there would be something else. One of the lower pieces, something hidden away.
But the papers atop the desk seemed just as helpful in nature. Even ones like drafted decrees or laws to impose later were not unreasonable. One even seemed to propose a ban on child labor. What kind of tyrant would pass up a chance for easy workers?
Digging through the drawers revealed nothing more, just an impressive collection of quills, ink, and more books it seemed didn't fit on the shelves behind him. He wouldn't find anything more useful than these documents, he was sure. He... he just hoped the Prince would be able to see whatever evil Cross was obviously missing here. He scooped up another piece, one of the decrees, and then the letter draft to that Crop. Maybe they could speak to him? No, the planning was up to Dream. He was just here to get the information and go.
And now that he had it...
Cross sighed a bit, he couldn't understand why these were the things in here. In this innermost sanctum where only the trusted went. Everyone feared this King so much, Dream claimed he and his master were such a threat. And yet all Cross could find was a record of damages, and a plan to enact damage control. It...
"Having some trouble finding the dirt?"
Cross felt his entire soul freeze up as the voice cut through the silent room. It was quiet, and deep, and a bit gravelly. He didn't recognize it, but that didn't matter, because he knew he had been alone.
Almost all at once, a wave of presence crashed over his awareness. That damp static that had passed by once in the hall. Trailing the King. He didn't have to look up to know it was one of the Knights somewhere before him.
"Our King isn't usually one to make a mess." The voice said again, calmly.
Cross dragged his eyelights up, hands tentatively hovering at his sides. There, sat comfortably on one of the chairs, was the hooded one. Dust, Shep had told him.
Now, despite the shadow cast by his hood, Cross could see the faint details of his panther mask, black and hidden away in the darkness of his cover. He seemed entirely at-ease, not a care in the world, watching Cross. If his soul hadn't been sinking into his gut, Cross would've even thought Dust found the situation humorous.
He steeled himself, watching. Could he try and bluff his way out of this? Somehow? How long had Dust been there? How much had he seen?
"Any chance you'd believe I was looking for a good book?" Cross asked, though the bold humor he'd attempted to channel in the way Ink had done so many times before fell flat. Maybe his growing panic was clouding his mind, or maybe he'd never been much of a comedian.
Dust just stared at him, tilting his head a bit. By the way his eyelights changed shape, Cross imagined his sockets had drooped to give an unamused stare. Not a great sign.
"Are you going to try and run, or can I catch a break today?" Dust just asked across the room.
Mm. Cross didn't have much of a choice here anymore. Dream had told him, drilled it into his skull, not to get caught. Especially not by the Knights. They'd torture him. Kill him. The stories of what they did to traitors... Cross couldn't let this knight get hold of him. Couldn't be trapped. He had to get out of here.
He promised Ink he'd be back.
With that thought, his sword summoned to his hand in a flash. It was big, and bulky, and not the best for an indoor fight, but he'd make due. He just needed to get away from this guy. That was all.
His summons was clearly a declaration of intent, because he heard Dust scoff over the rush of adrenaline running through him and roaring through his ears. All at once, the electric charge in the room seemed to up itself. Bones, blue, cracked downwards from the rafters and planted themselves sturdy before the door and the window. His two possible exits. Dust stood up and stretched his arms before him.
"Alright, let's get this over with." Dust voiced, then.
Cross nearly let his guard down in the first moment. He felt a charge of energy coming from his side, and narrowly vaulted over the desk to avoid the spiked and jagged bones which rose where his feet had just been planted.
Momentum carried him now, and his sword was already poised for attack before his mind quick processed it. He slashed at Dust, growing rapidly closer. Hid swing was met with pure white bones that stopped his swing, just enough for Dust to avoid the hit with a split second to spare.
He was quiet, as they fought. As Cross lunged and spun and threw himself forward with grunts of exertion. It was unsettling, how the only noises were the cracks of his magic ripping into existence or Cross's sword cracking them to pieces like a lumberjack's axe.
He kept his attention on Dust. The magic had a pattern. The room was buzzing ambiently, and right before an attack it was like being too close to a fire. Just briefly. Cross barely managed to avoid spearing his ankle thanks to the crackle. He wished he could be a bit faster, though. Cross couldn't feel where an attack was aiming like he normally could. Dust gave no indications as to where an attack would be channeling either, almost like he wasn't controlling them at all. He didn't like it, it was unpredictable, and was wearing him down fast.
Dust kept dodging his swings, no matter how fast he moved, and eventually Cross stumbled. His shoulder connected with one of the random jutting bones. Dust stepped back just before it pierced upwards, and Cross grunted in distress as it drove him back a step as to not get impaled.
That was apparently his mistake. The moment he wasn't close to Dust, bones seemed to crop up all around him, gutting at different angles, just barely piercing the bone, little cracks forming with the force. Cross could feel each one jab a bit deeper than the last. Each time he reversed to get away from one or break away an incoming volley, another would arrive behind him at a new angle.
He hated that Dust stood back. Watched. The only sign that he had even broken a sweat was a slight heaviness to the up and down of his shoulders, and while Cross hadn't lost much HP yet, he was starting to feel the exhaustion creep closer, and each little wound and crack seemed to be draining him. Was this the strategy? Play with him like a living pin-cushion? Was this it's own sort of-
Cross shifted his stance and unsummoned his weapon as he jumped up and out of the quickly growing ring of spikes. He had to act fast. He had to get out of here.
He grumbled a bit under his breath, he didn't like trying to do this, but...
The moment his feet landed, Cross summoned up his other piece of magic. The part his father had embedded into his soul early on in his life which made him so powerful. He was sure his normally white eyelight changed shape in the split second it happened. Red, bright red.
It only took a moment, a tug at the very being, hidden away in the Knight's chest. For a split second, he could feel the control of foreign magic slip into his own hands.
For a moment, it worked just as he knew it would. His fist trembled under the effort, keeping an eye on Dust as the other seemed to stare at him. The bones he'd summoned all seemed to sink away at once, recalled faster than Cross could've hoped. Dust seemed to feel his magic stop responding to him.
Cross just needed to get the Knight downed. Not dead. He just needed out.
He shifted stiffly. One, concentrated blast of bones at the Knight. He seemed like he didn't want to risk taking any damage. That was all Cross needed then. Some damage. And he'd be free to escape back to the camp. Away from these weird monsters with their weird magic.
He let his palm open, directing the force like he'd done so many times, channeling another monster's magic against them. Controlling it against their will.
The feeling of electricity rose again. It spiked. It. It gathered in his hand, that burning feeling he felt when an attack had been about to hit him.
What?
It was too late to recall the intent once he'd released it. The moment he tried to command the magic, he felt it all roll back over him. Bones meant to be aimed at their owner came jolting straight at his front. And though he stumbled back, he couldn't escape the searing pain of a fire too hot to process escaping his bones and immediately rushing up his arm, into his chest, down to his feet.
He had to imagine, with the loud sound like a cracking whip, that that was what being struck by lightning felt like. Molten metal in your veins.
Cross laid sprawled, dazed, on the floor as his control magic puttered out. It hurt to breathe. To see. To exit. He was half-convinced his arm was completely splintered apart after the pulse of raw magic that had filtered through it, but he didn't bother to look.
His soul begged him to move, to get up and run again, but darkness danced in his vision as he stared up at the ceiling. He failed his mission.
He hated to see as the Knight rounded into view, standing cautiously over where he was laid. Floored by the backfire of his power. If the knight said anything, he couldn't hear over the loud ringing invading his head.
Though, instead of stabbing him through like Cross had expected, the knight seemed to duck down. A cool feeling encased Cross' wrists (so the other hadn't broken apart) and his soul suddenly felt exhausted. He felt exhausted.
No matter how much he wanted to stay awake, to escape, he lost this fight fair and square.
#new age au#Y'ALL my formatting obliterated my italics so I apologize....#some narrative beats will feel weird!!! raugh!!!!#anyways yeag#Cross is a goofy lil guy and he's strong af#but he's also very naive and quick to trust blindly. even when he thinks he's being careful and getting a second opinion#and also he's not quite ready to fight to kill again and so Dust is quick to push him around there at the end <3#neither are trying to kill eachother (The Knights agreed they'd try and get information. Cross just doesn't want blood on his hands or a#target on his back.)#and Dust is just a lot more exoerienced!#Cross' msgic btw (if it isn't clear) is a weird subversion of the Overwrite power#where Cross can temporarily seize control of a Monster's magic and use it against them as though it's his own (relies on embedded#Determination to 'overwrite' control lol)#unfortunately for Cross? Dust's magic isn't actually originating from his soul. it's *outside#* his soul providing power and energy that his emotions influence as though it's his soul.#so Cross can decide where the magic is concentrated. but not where or who or how it manifests a#d attacks :]#so. Cross basically pulled all of Dust's small concentrated bursts of controlled magic and released them directly into his own face lmao#Dust's magic is truly an enigma <3#AND I think later on when they work together Cross helps Dust center and aim his magic (because Dust is just used to dealing with its chaoti#c nature rather than actually controlling it. so it's a bonus special combo attack they could do if they needed that specific#style of attack!)#anywho yeah#Shep will be a reoccurring character btw. he and Harper I think!#Harper is a young upstart who actually kinda likes being in the castle (Cats being sacrificed for so long in the kingdom did leave a bad rep#on Cat monsters. so Nightmare being fond of and protecting them makes Harper feel a lot more loyalty than she'd like to admit.)#and Shep. well. let's just say Nightmare hired him on for the guard personally :]#andd yeah!!!#i'm sure I'm missing something but I hope y'all enjoy!!!
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Fluent Freshman - Part 11
PREVIOUS
FF could admit that he may not be working with a full tank at the moment.
He had not slept very well the night before.
He had watched a lot of horror movies (a genre that he generally does not consume because his mind is already a scary enough place).
He was not able to go see his Grandma and he was going to miss the traditional(tm) Black Friday extravaganza that he and his Grandma did every Black Friday since he was little and encountered the horrible truth about Santa and she’d let him in on when / where most of his Christmas gifts were obtained. (The answer was not the North Pole under the watchful eye of elves. He had cried himself to sleep at the revelation but Gran always had a way of making the worst moments of his life tolerable.)
He may have eaten just…a bit too much pie?
He definitely ate too much turkey.
His stomach is killing him because he had forgotten to take his pepto when he had slammed that five hour energy.
His heart may actually break out of his rib cage with how hard it’s beating in his chest.
He’s been listening to Andrew and Captain Neil go back and forth for the last hour and a half between discussing Aaron’s recent mess ups, to what they’ll do to one another with a locked door between them and the world, to Andrew complaining that Neil’s hand is sweaty, to Neil saying Yes and Andrew’s hand is no longer in Neil’s and-
He clenches his eyes close.
And Andrew has swerved back into the lane for the third time in the last five minutes while saying something unrepeatable about his plans for Captain Neil and the whipped cream.
FF does not handle swerving cars very well.
He hears Andrew say something that sounds like it could lead to a very uncomfortable yeast infection for Captain Neil didn’t properly rinse off afterwards.
The car swerves over the rumble strip.
A fear far stronger than his fear of what Andrew could do to him overtakes him.
“I don’t like swerving cars. So, I’m going to ask that you focus on the road and keep your hands on the steering wheel.” FF says so panicked that he sounds calm and he watches as both Neil and Andrew stiffen at the sound of his voice. “If you can’t, then I’m going to ask that you pull over and let me out.” He offers a second option and a part of him is just amazed that his voice doesn’t crack even once. “I’m fine with either option.” He says.
He says both are fine but…
Honestly he hopes Andrew chooses the first option as he looks at the dark and lonely highway.
He looks back up at the front seat and both Neil and Andrew are looking straight forward. Andrew’s hands are on the steering wheel.
“Thanks.” He says and returns his attention to back over Aaron’s head.
The rest of the ride to Columbia is blessedly quiet. Aaron and Nicky wake up when they get off of the interstate and Nicky has the good grace to try and wipe the drool out of FF’s hair while Aaron seems unbothered by the wet spot he left of FF’s shoulder.
They get out of the car and they each grab their own bag in exhausted silence. Nicky is barely managing to put one foot in front of the other and before FF can do or say anything Nicky is in his room and has locked his door.
The room that FF had been planning on sleeping on the floor of because Nicky had told him he could so that FF would not drink 20 5-hour energies over the course of the weekend.
But Nicky had looked really tired.
So he is given a general tour by a very quiet Captain Neil and FF forces himself not to think about the cooler that Andrew had brought to, what he assumes is, Andrew’s bedroom before it was brought to the kitchen. He gets shown where the blankets and pillows that Kevin uses are and FF nods in quiet acceptance even knowing that he is going to spend the night going over Katakana flashcards and maybe up his literacy on Kanji to a second grader’s level.
Captain Neil wishes him a good night while Andrew gives him a nod and it is the last time he sees Captain Neil that night.
It is not the last time he sees Andrew.
***
Andrew comes out of his room to go get two glasses of water nearly 2 and a half hours later. The house is silent and dark. He is pretty sure him and Neil are the only two up.
He is wrong.
He comes out into the living room on his way to the kitchen and finds FF going through flashcards at a rapid pace. He walks a little closer to see what it is but the flashcards aren’t even right side up half of the time.
He thinks about the car ride.
‘I don’t like swerving cars.’
FF had said it so matter of factly. He was uncomfortable with the swerving.
Andrew had told FF recently about the words he didn’t like.
It felt like FF was offering at least something of himself back to Andrew for the first time.
Andrew thinks about how once his hands had gone back to the steering wheel FF had leaned back into his seat and stared out the window.
Andrew has at various points tried to look up what FF’s circumstances were but searching news sites for someone named ‘Smith’ with no first name to work off of was an exercise in futility.
Neil has lamented many times to Andrew about his bizarre jealousy over how unknowable Smith is. “He’s learning new languages, keeping a low profile, and playing Exy. It’s everything that I wanted in my freshman year and couldn’t manage because Riko pissed me off so much! It’s just kind of hard to see someone living my dream.” He says.
Andrew had punched him in the arm for that one.
“My old dream!” Neil had said and Andrew almost punched him again for the smile he flashed but had ended up kissing his stupid pretty face instead.
Where was he?
Right.
FF didn’t like swerving cars.
It didn’t necessarily have to be the trauma that lead to that aversion. Andrew certainly hadn’t had anything scare him on a plane but he still hated flying.
Still.
“The flash card is upside down.” He says and watches as FF pauses in his shuffling before righting that card and flipping to the next one which was turned to the side as far as Andrew could tell.
FF should be asleep.
FF is not asleep.
It might be Andrew’s fault that his friend can’t sleep.
“It won’t happen again.” He says and FF turns and stares at him blankly for a few seconds before he nods his acceptance.
It’s nice having a friend who understands what he means without needing to explain every little thing.
***
FF thinks he might have double-dosed on the 5-hour energy.
He also thinks he might currently be able to see through time.
His flashcards are making so much sense right now.
Then Andrew had come up and it truly was a miracle that he did not shit himself considering the sheer amount of apple pie still making its way through his system. That’s a lot of fiber for one body and he’s sure the 2-3 Five Hour energies he has taken are not helping his plight in that regard.
“It won’t happen again.” Is what Andrew says and in an instant FF feels his stomach drop to his feet. He nods blankly and watches as Andrew nods back before the man went to the kitchen and left with two tall glasses of water.
‘It won’t happen again’
FF has asked Andrew for TWO favors today.
TWO WHOLE FAVORS.
WHAT WAS HE THINKING?
The answer was that he WASN’T.
Even if FF had paid back one of those favors with the sheer power of his granny’s pie there was the case of the secondary favor he’d asked for in the car.
‘It won’t happen again’
There won’t be anymore favors for FF. He’d used up any mercy his grandma’s pie had bought him.
He considers the time pulls out his phone and goes through some saved text files on his phone.
It’s time for guns even bigger than his grandma’s apple pie.
He takes another five hour energy and knows that he won’t be sleeping a wink. He looks up groceries stores that are open this early on Black Friday, he grabs his wallet and with immense fear in his heart grabs the keys Aaron had dropped into a bowl by the front entrance.
He needs the ingredients for his great-grandma’s brownies.
Do your civic duty and: CAST YOUR VOTE TODAY ABOUT MEMES
NEXT
Per y’all’s requests:
@i-have-three-feelings @blep-23 @dreamerking27 @andreilsmyreligion @belodensetdust�� @rainbowpineapplebottle @yarn-ace @iwouldlikesometea @lily-s-world @obscureshipsandchips @booklover242 @whataboutmyfries @sahturnos @pluto-pepsi @dreamerthinker @passinhosdetartaruga @leftunknownheart @aro-manita-muscaria @hologramsaredead @Chaoticgremlinswishtheycouldbeme @tntwme @tayspots @nick-scar @crazy-fangirl2524 @blue-jos10 @stabbyfoxandrew @splishsplashyouropinionistrash @sammichly @the-broken-pen @bitchesdoweknowu @very-small-flower @ghostlyboiii @its-a-paxycab @bisexual-genderfluid-fan @cheesecookie @theoneandonlylostsock @foxsoulcourt @blueleys @adverbialstarlight @elia-nna @can-i-just-stay-in-the-corner @nikodiangel @foxandcrow-inatrenchcoat @hallucinatedjosten
As stated before if you’re up here and I spelled it right but you didn’t get a notification there might be something switched around in your settings that won’t let me tag you properly?
#Fluent Freshman AU#FF's logical reasoning has not ever been his strong suit#But it really tanks when he's hitting levels of manic tired#Andrew goes back into the room with the water for him and Neil#Andrew: FF isn't mad about the car thing#Neil: Oh thank god#Neil: Wait did you hear the door just now?#Andrew: No#Neil: Oh okay I'm sure it's fine.#My search history is a nightmare now#Could Neil get a yeast infection? I'm sure the answer is readily available for me#I thought FOOLISHLY#I got like 12 different think pieces on it when I wanted a YES or a NO#Now Amazon wants to sell me creams that I do NOT need#This is what I get for having searched it on my iphone in the google app#I should have waited to get home and search in Firefox#But I (ever the fool) needed my answers now#AFTG#AFTG AU#AFTG OC#AFTG Shitpost#Andreil#FF - Pt. 11
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i wish i could organize a timkon giftswap or week or whatever event, but like only for people who actually care about kon as a character, without coming off as a gatekeeping asshole or something lmao
#rimi talks#i really love doing collaborative event stuff. however the horrors#timkon giftswap but in the signup form i put ''whats your favorite issue of superboy (1994)? how about robin (1993)?''#<- see that would get me branded a gatekeeper and asshole. but also hear me out............#you see........ the timkon tag is a fucking nightmare................#timkon giftswap but in the signup form i go ''lex luthor bernard dowd and jason todd are banned from this event btw''#i can't. i'm not strong enough. ksdjhfjkdhskj#but i WISH i could bc i do love events and collabs!!!! im just. SO tired of everything timkon being so shitty and ooc#bc like. the people who don't read comics latched onto timkon as The Tim Yaoi Ship™#instead of . like. reading comics and understanding why people like tim and kon's relationship to begin with#augh....... alas. i shall never run a timkon event. it simply cannot be done. but i can yearn silently in my heart
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Poor girl, she has so much to forget that it is no wonder that sleep, if it brings oblivion to her, does her good.
Oblivion being brought to her sounds deeply ominous right now, especially given the context of Mina being so tired and subdued lately. But on the other hand, noon is the other time when Dracula can change shape or be more active, and if she is not in a state of oblivion I have to wonder what kind of experience her mental link is giving her. It may of course only seem a dream...
#dracula daily#mina murray#she appears restful yes but#well a part of me thinks it would be super cool (agonizing) if she is having dreams that seem very pleasant at the time#but become a nightmare in retrospect when she wakes#either because in the dream she IS dracula* or because his influence on her mind is so strong and it twists her own dreams#*you could do this with her in his mind while he does whatever currently. or with her picking up on/being given some of his memories#while overlapping with his POV. or even a kind of dreamshare/hijack thing where his influence affects what was a pleasant dream of her own#mina dreaming of jonathan and partway through it turns into a memory/imagined future scene of biting him for example#anyways in general this could happen during the her sleep not only right now but this entry made me think about it
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“What do you mean he’s scary!! Look at him!”
— taking artistic liberties to scrunkle the face of @shepherds-of-haven’s Blade Bronwyn - a man with 0.6% body fat lol
#shepherds of haven#if games#blade bronwyn#this is mc privelage at work#hc mcs but especially the ladies are like no he’s fine!! look he’s a lamb!! but if someone else tried this they’d get their wrists broken#being an artist (like being a writer) makes your proclivities rly obvious because in this instance you can tell that I love#babying men who could kickflip me into the sun#picking fights with famed assassins like… wow blade ur so confident for your height! and leave#blade likes girls with good hearts and Halle is not quite that but she IS an efficient worker so she always comes back with the win…#and a bunch of rescued orphans and mages and stuff it’s… not a reflection of her personality but rather her work ethic which even then#is reluctant and put-upon#she didn’t want to be a captain let alone commander she was meant to be using this gang of do-gooders to fulfil her fate and then bounce#but they’re all so wholesome and now she loves them despite her better judgement#and he’s so cute!! with his poetry and plants and the googly-eyed clam he keeps on his desk and talks to about his feelings!!#what’s a girl to do?#there’s only so strong you can be in the face of a man who tells you straight-faced he’d mcfucking die for you#talking the talk and walking the walk even to the most wary of wilderness orphans#as always blade you are a nightmare to draw I lost sleep over your skin tone#my foe of four years aka blade’s left elbow is cunningly hidden#their child would be a serious force of nature and also really tall#fanart#shoh#can you imagine the name? between austere ket names and whack mage names…#these are my parents: blade and halwendi. my name is steele mechanicus and I DONT want to talk about it#just realised that if his brother saw this shit he’d get blade stoned for being a public hussy gosh sorry better make an honest man of him#new blade hairstyle is a shaggy wolfcut bc I think it’s cute on him lmao#this is a really autistic couple honestly#not quite sure where to put his hands#like when you flip a shark upside down
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Hey, sorry if someone already ask this but, I am curious about what happen to child nightmare or passive. Since dadmare seem to be teleported to the past... Then does that mean passive just mysteriously dissapear and gone forever or he just also got transported to the future with grown up dream? (`・ω・´)
Ohoh, I didn't answer this, did I? I think I tried to keep it vague, but because the decision was changed (talked extensively with my beta and then missed him really badly,) I should let you guys know he will show up later. It would be cute if he went to the future (I already thought of an AU for it haha) but that is not what I intend on happening.
In summary: He is still in the same world as Dadmare and Sunbeam and will be later referred to as Moonbeam. He will be found. Development is to follow. (chime noise) Thanks for your patience. Don't want to reveal spoilers.
The only question left for you guys is: How / why did he disappear?
#inbox#Anonymous#moonbeam#where in the world is moonbeam? (theme song plays)#modmare answers#rattling#originally there was a fancy or grim explanation for why nightmare disappeared and dadmare could take his place#but ultimately i missed the little guy too much and wanted him to come back#it makes most sense anyway this way because of the total lack of guilt or strong response the villagers have#especially to sunbeam's interrogation#hope i didn't blab too much!
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going to read wuthering heights chapter 3 and 4 today :-) im intentionally limiting myself so i don't read it in one sitting and can enjoy it more. heathcliff sobbing for catherine to come haunt him, and her not doing that... i feel like i need to draw five illustrations for this scene alone. god it's so good
#also i love how mad mr lockwood is about seeing a ghost in his room#he's not embarassed that he woke up heathcliff over what could have been a nightmare#he's like you TRICKED me... with your HAUNTED house!!#i will leave a VERY strong worded yelp review. about this
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unpopular arctic monkeys songs save me unpopular arctic monkeys songs
#i love am#and favorite worst nightmare#BUT THEY HAVE SO MUCH MORE#sculptures of anything goes 🙏🙏#perhaps vampires is a bit strong but 🙏🙏#fake tales of san francisco 🙏🙏#dance little liar 🙏🙏#dont sit down cause i moved your chair 🙏🙏#i could keep going#arctic monkeys#eunoia annoys '♡'
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sometimes I think about how when I went to college for a year before I dropped out (basically failed out,) the counselors/dean told me they can't help me at all or give any accommodations unless I have an official autism/adhd diagnosis. that might sound logical at first, but when you think about it more, it's actually quite fucked up. if someone is struggling really bad, what's the harm in helping them? why do they require a paper to get even the smallest amount of help? people who don't need help aren't going to be failing miserably without help! even NTs could benefit from some adjustments to the horrible school system! (but changing the entire system is a whole other conversation that the school system isnt ready for)
but even if you do agree to jump through their hoops, you realize it's even more fucked up that the diagnosis process requires YEARS in most cases (in my case it took 4 or 5 years, can't recall exactly now, for autism/adhd diagnosis, which would have meant i finished school before getting it if i managed to mot fail out, or i wait that long before going back, which is a whole struggle itself) and they also tried billing me for THOUSANDS of dollars because of insurance issues!!
so you put a ton of time and money into this, and then get told the only accommodation they are willing to give you for autism and adhd is "a little extra time on tests"
....
my test scores were the best part of my whole class experience. that was NOT what I struggled with!!!!! those tests were all online and could be done in the comfort of your home where you can accommodate yourself and have plenty of time left over when you finish them because you are comfy in your own space, (and also, no one was stopping you from having your notes/books/google open to find the answers,) and you don't even need a time consuming, expensive diagnosis for that!
SO WHAT'S THE POINT!!!!!!!
#mind you this was over 10 years ago now. it *could* have gotten better but id be extremely shocked if it has#autistic#autism#actually autistic#adhd#neurodivergent#audhd#school#school problems#yes i know theres rules or maybe even laws for this and its why they are like this but its bad and should change#if they offered smaller classes with less sensory overloading bullshit and other things i needed it would be great!#but they refuse to accommodate your actual needs and make up useless accommodations to legally say they help disabilities#ND people (not just audhd) and other disabled people that graduate with no useful accommodations are so strong and cool. proud of you!#ones who had to drop you youre also cool for not dealing with their bullshit snd allowing yourself to not suffer for a sheet of paper!#(though i know it can feel bad when everyone around you makes you feel bad for needed to drop out or failing out and not going back)#i completely stopped going to my psychology class because i started a week late due to scheduling issues and#suddenly we are told theres a paper due in 3 days and need to hse the textbook i didnt have yet as the source for it all#and it was in the syllabus i didnt get because i was a week late and didnt know we got one. the professor didnt notice me out of#the 100 other students in that large lecture hall. that room was also a sensory nightmare hellscape#too many students made things noisy and distracting. multiple fluorescent lights were flickering constantly and never fixed#the professor used a mic to speak to us and it had a constant horrible loud buzzing. it did that loud mic screech noise randomly#without warning. all the time. the quality of the sound was horrible so it was hard to understand her. on top of that she had a very thick#accent i wasnt familiar with so that on top of the horrible buzzing mkc quality that also cut her out constantly was auditory processing#disorder HELL. I dont know how ANYONE survived thst class but i seemed to be the only one struggling. everyone else turned in their papers#and i gave up and stopped going. was too late to drop the class to get my money back so i wasted probably a few thousand dollars#and THATS what i mean by give me reasonable and useful accommodation. test time would NOT make that class better at all#fix the mic and light issues at least or give me a smaller class with more attentive professor or something!#offer smaller classes for struggling disabled people! if the issue is not knowing who needs them then offer a switch to those struggling!#i got called onto a dean/counselor meeting because a professor noticed my horrible grades and stuff so its possible to catch us and help!#THESE SCHOOLS JUST NEED TO START BEING WILLING TO. dont make us do all the work to accommodate ourselves and expect to do well in school!
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Kingdom of Ash Chapter 20 …
oh my gods chapter 20…
I am dead inside.
And somehow dying more per chapter.
Ow. THE NIGHTMARE DREAM SEQUENCE
"Do you know the story of the queen who walked through worlds?"
Seated on the mossy carpet of an ancient glen, one hand toying with the small white flowers strewn across it, Aelin shook her head.
In the towering oaks that formed a lattice over the clearing, small stars blinked and shimmered, as if they'd been snared by the branches themselves. Beyond them, bathing the forest with light bright enough to see by, a full moon had risen. All around them, faint, lilting singing floated on the warm summer air.
"It is a sad story," her aunt said, one corner of her red-painted mouth curling upward as she leaned back on her seat carved into a granite boulder. Her usual place, while they had these lessons, these long, peaceful chats deep into the balmy summer nights. "And an old one."
Aelin lifted an eyebrow. "Aren't I a little old for faerie stories?" She'd indeed just celebrated her twentieth birthday three days ago, in another clearing not too far from here. Half of Doranelle had come, it had seemed, and yet her mate had found a way to sneak her from the revelry. All the way to a secluded pool in the forest's heart. Her face still warmed to think of that moonlit swim, what Rowan had made her feel, how he'd worshipped her in the sun-warmed water.
Mate. The word was still a surprise. As it had been to arrive here at spring's end and see him beside her aunt's throne and simply know. And in the months since, their courting ... Aelin indeed blushed at the thought of it. What they'd done in that forest pool had been the culmination of those months. And an unleashing. The mating marks on her neck— and on Rowan's-proved it. She would not be returning to Terrasen alone when autumn arrived.
"No one is too old for faerie stories," her aunt said, faint smile growing. "And as you are part faerie yourself, I would think you'd have some interest in them."
Aelin smiled back, bowing her head. "Fair enough, Aunt."
Aunt wasn't entirely accurate, not with generations and millennia separating them, but it was the only thing the queen had suggested Aelin call her.
Maeve settled further into her seat. "Long ago, when the world was new, when there were no human kingdoms, when no wars had marred the earth, a young queen was born."
Aelin folded her legs beneath her, angling her head.
"She did not know she was a queen. Amongst her people, power was not inherited, but simply born. And as she grew, her strength rose with her. She found the land she dwelled in to be too small for that power. Too dark and cold and grim. She had gifts similar to many wielded by her kind, but she had been given more, her power a sharper, more intricate weapon-enough that she was different. Her people saw that power and bowed to it, and she ruled them.
"Word spread of her gifts, and three kings came to seek her hand. To form an alliance between their throne and the one she had built for herself, small as it might have been. For a time, she thought it would be the newness, the challenge that she had always craved. The three kings were brothers, each mighty in his own right, their power vast and terrifying. She picked the eldest among them, not for any particular skill or grace, but for his countless libraries. What she might learn in his lands, what she might do with her power ... It was that knowledge she craved, not the king himself."
A strange story. Aelin's brows rose, but her aunt continued on.
"So they were wed, and she left her small territory to join him in his castle. For a time, she was contented, both by her husband and the knowledge his home offered her. He and his two brothers were conquerors, and spent much of their time away, leashing new lands to their shared throne. She did not mind, not when it gave her freedom to learn as she would. But her husband's libraries contained knowledge even he did not realize was held within. Lore and wisdom from worlds long since turned to dust. She learned that there were indeed other worlds. Not the dark, blasted realm in which they lived, but worlds beyond that, living atop one another and never realizing it. Worlds where the sun was not a watery trickle through the ash-clouds, but a golden stream of warmth. Worlds where green existed. She had never heard of such a color. Green. Nor had she heard of blue-not the shade of sky that was described. She could not so much as picture it."
Aelin frowned. "A pitiful existence."
Maeve nodded grimly. "It was. And the more she read about these other worlds, where long-dead wayfarers had once roamed, the more she wanted to see them. To know the kiss of the sun on her face. To hear the morning songs of sparrows, the crying of gulls over the sea. The sea that, too, was foreign to her. An endless sprawl of water, with its own moods and hidden depths. All they had in her lands were shallow, murky lakes and half-dried streams. So while her husband and his two brothers were off waging yet another war, she began to ponder how she might find a way into one of those worlds. How she might leave."
"Is such a thing even possible?" Something nagged at her, as if it might indeed be true, but perhaps that was one of her own mother's tales, or even Marion's, tugging on her memory.
Maeve nodded. "It was. Using the very language of existence itself, doors might be opened, however briefly, between worlds. It was forbidden, outlawed long before her husband and his brothers were born. Once the last of the ancient wayfarers had died out, the paths between realms were sealed, their methods of world-walking lost with them. Or so all had thought. But deep in her husband's private library, she found the old spells. She began with small experiments. First, she opened a door to the realm of resting, to find one of those wayfarers and ask her how it was properly done." A knowing smile. "The wayfarer refused to tell her. So the queen began to teach herself. Opening and closing doors long since forgotten or sealed. Peering deep into the workings of the cosmos. Her own world became a cage. She grew tired of her husband's warring, his casual cruelty. And when he went away to war once again, the queen gathered her closest handmaidens, opened a door to a new world, and left the one she'd been born into."
"She left?" Aelin blurted. "She she just left her own world? Permanently?"
"It had never been her world, not really. She had been born to rule others."
"Where did she go?"
That smile grew a bit. "To a fair, lovely world. Where there was no war, no darkness. Not like that in which she had been born. She was made a queen there, too. Was able to hide herself within a new body so that none could know what she was beneath, so that even her own husband would not recognize her."
"Did he ever find her again?"
"No, though he looked. Found out all she'd learned, and taught it to himself and his brothers. They tore apart world after world to find her. And when they arrived at the world where she had made her new home, they did not know her. Even as they went to war, she did not reveal herself. She won, and two of the kings, her husband included, were banished back to their own world. The third remained trapped, his power nearly broken. He crawled off into the depths of the earth, and the victorious queen spent her long, long existence preparing for his return, preparing her people for it. For the three kings had gone beyond her methods of world-walking. They had found a way to permanently open a gate between worlds, and had made three keys to do so. To wield those keys was to control all worlds, to have the power of eternity in the palm of your hand. She wished to find them, only so she might possess the strength to banish any enemies, banish her husband's youngest brother back to his realm. To protect her new, lovely world. It was all she ever wanted: to dwell in peace, without the shadow of her past hunting her."
From far away, that ghost of memory pushed. As if she'd forgotten to douse a flame left burning in her room. "And did the queen find the keys?"
Maeve's smile turned sad. "Do you think she did, Aelin?"
Aelin considered. So many of their chats, their lessons in this glen, held deeper puzzles, questions for her to work through, to help her when she one day took her throne, Rowan at her side.
As if she'd summoned him, the pine-and-snow scent of her mate filled the clearing. A rustle of wings, and there he was, perched in hawk form on one of the towering oaks. Her warrior-prince.
She smiled toward him, as she had for weeks now, when he'd come to escort her back to her rooms in the river palace. It was during those walks from forest to mist-shrouded city that she had come to know him, love him. More than she had ever loved anything.
Aelin again faced her aunt. "The queen was clever, and ambitious. I would think she could do anything, even find the keys."
"So you would believe. And yet they eluded her."
"Where did they go?"
Maeve's dark stare unwaveringly held hers.
"Where do you think they went?"
Aelin opened her mouth. "I think —
She blinked. Paused
Maeve's smile returned, soft and kind. As her aunt had been to her from the start. "Where do you think the keys are, Aelin?"
She opened her mouth once more. And again halted.
Like an invisible chain yanked her back. Silenced her.
Chain—a chain. She glanced down at her hands, her wrists. As if expecting them to be there.
She had never felt a shackle's bite in her life. And yet she stared at the empty place on her wrist where she could have sworn there was a scar. Only smooth, sun-kissed skin remained.
"If this world were at risk, if those three terrible kings threatened to destroy it, where would you go to find the keys?" Aelin looked up at her aunt.
Another world. There was another world Like a fragment of a dream, there was another world, and in it, she had a wrist with a scar on it. Had scars all over.
And her mate, perched overhead ... He had a tattoo down his face and neck and arm in that world. A sad story—his tattoo told a sad, awful story. About loss. Loss caused by a dark queen.
"Where are the keys hidden, Aelin?" That placid, loving smile remained on
Maeve's face. And yet ...
And yet.
"No," Aelin breathed
Something slithered in the depths of her aunt's stare. "No what?"
This wasn't her existence, her life. This place, these blissful months learning in Doranelle, finding her mate—Blood and sand and crashing waves.
"No."
Her voice was a thunderclap through the peaceful glen.
Aelin bared her teeth, fingers curling in the moss.
Maeve let out a soft laugh. Rowan flapped from the branches to land on the queen's upraised arm.
He didn't so much as fight it when she wrapped her thin white hands around his neck. And snapped it. Aelin screamed. Screamed, clutching at her chest, at the shredding mating bond—
She screamed again. Screamed at her ruined arm, the unscarred skin, screamed at the lingering echo of the severed mating bond.
"Do you know what pains me most, Aelin?" Maeve's words were soft as a lover's. "It's that you believe I'm the villain in this."
Whenever that had been. If it had even happened at all.
"I have no doubt that your mate or Elena or even Brannon himself filled your head with lies about what I'll do with the keys." Maeve ran a hand over the stone lip of the altar, right through her splattered blood and shards of bone. "I meant what I said. I like this world. I do not wish to destroy it. Only improve it. Imagine a realm where there is no hunger, no pain. Isn't that what you and your cohorts are fighting for? A better world?"
The words were a mockery. A mockery of what she'd promised so many. What she had promised Terrasen, and still owed it.
Aelin tried not to shift against the chains, against her broken arms, against the tight pressure pushing on her skin from the inside. A rising intensity along her bones, in her head. little more, every day.
Maeve heaved a small sigh. "I know what you think of me, Fire-Bringer. What you assume. But there are some truths that cannot be shared. Even for the keys." Yet the growing strain cracking within her, smothering the pain ... perhaps worse. Maeve cupped her cheek over the mask.
"The Queen Who Was Promised. I wish to save you from that sacrifice, offered up by a headstrong girl." A soft laugh. "I'd even let you have Rowan. The two of you here, together. While you and I work to save this world."
The words were lies. She knew it, though she couldn't quite remember where one truth ended and the lie began. If her mate had belonged to another before her. Been given away. Or had that been the nightmare?
Gods, the pressure in her body. Her blood.
You do not yield.
"You can feel it, even now," Maeve went on. "The urge of your body to say yes." Aelin opened her eyes, and confusion must have glittered there, because Maeve smiled. "Do you know what being encased in iron does to a magic-wielder? You wouldn't feel it immediately, but as time goes on ... your magic needs release, Aelin. That pressure is your magic screaming it wants you to come free of these chains and release the strain. Your very blood tells you to heed me."
Truth. Not the submission part, but the deepening pressure she knew would be worse than any pain from burnout. She'd felt it once, when plunging as far into her power as she'd ever gone.
That would be nothing compared to this.
"I am leaving for a few days," Maeve said.
Aelin stilled.
Maeve shook her head in a mockery of disappointment.
Fenrys sat by the wall, concern bright in his eyes as he blinked. Are you all right?
She blinked twice. No.
No, she was not anywhere near to all right.
Maeve had been waiting for this, waiting for this pressure to begin, worse than anything Cairn might do. And with the collar Maeve now went to personally retrieve … She couldn't let herself contemplate it. A more horrific form of slavery, one she might never escape, never be able to fight.
Not a breaking of the Fire-Bringer, but an erasure.
To take all she was, power and knowledge, and rip it from her. To have her trapped inside while she witnessed her own voice yield the location of the Wyrdkeys. Swear the blood oath to Maeve. Wholly submit to her.
Fenrys blinked four times. I am here, I am with you.
She answered in kind. I am here, I am with you.
Her magic surged, seeking a way out, filling the gaps between her breath and bones. She couldn't find room for it, couldn't do anything to soothe it.
You do not yield.
She focused on the words. On her mother's voice. Perhaps the magic would devour her from the inside before Maeve returned.
But she did not know how she'd endure it.
Endure another few days of this, let alone the next hour. To ease the strain, just a fraction ...
She shut down the thoughts that snaked into her mind. Her own or Maeve's, she didn't care.
Fenrys blinked again, the same message over and over. I am here, I am with you.
Aelin closed her eyes, praying for oblivion.
"Get up." A mockery of words she'd once heard.
#Chapter 20#Kingdom of Ash#Sarah J. Maas#Aelin Ashryver Galathynius#Maeve#first read#no spoilers please#read along with me as we cry#Fenrys#Rowaelin#Rowan Whitethorn#more notes in the tags KoA spoilers in both tag and post purple for quotes pink for highlights on readings cause the dreamnightmare sequenc#more than Chaol more than Sam more than anything it was Rowan#The Queen who walked between worlds bad move to say the whole evil plan at once... what's the tale for? who? — it never works#The Queen Who Was Promised. I wish to save you from that sacrifice offered up by headstrong girl.#Not real. That had not been real. Rowan was alive he was alive real or not real#she had to try & use what she wants most peace & home & family &Ro the words she mocks the color science Terrasen Green and Kingdom’s of As#No shackle scars even with the wreckage. In this world this place she did not have scars either. — ROWAN SCARS GONE😭#Do you know what pains me most Aelin? Maeve's words were soft as a lover's. It's that you believe I'm the villain in this.#screamed at the lingering echo of the severed mating bond — if Maeve could make Rowan think Lyria was his mate… then just how bad is it#when she makes Aelin think he’s gone? it’s like Feyre in W&R… but worse… oh this is awful#A better world? The words were a mockery. A mockery of what she'd promised so many.#No. again. no. she said it for the first time… Maeve would rather fight a demon than an Aelin that’s how strong she is…& the power bubbling#Whenever that had been. If it had even happened at all. — making her think nothing had happened to the box#I'd even let you have Rowan. The two of you here together. While you and I work to save this world.#If her mate had belonged to another before her. Been given away. Or had that been the nightmare?#As if once she'd acknowledged it it wouldn't be ignored. Or contained.#Not a breaking of the Fire-Bringer but an erasure. To take all she was power and knowledge and rip it from her.#NEVER GO TO A SECONDARY LOCATION#DONT YOU DARE USE FENRYS AGAINST HER ROWAN HURRY IMMA LOSE IT AGHH WTF SKSKSJDOWAPKS
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#please for the love of god#i need people to stop telling me to “just be strong”#in response to me saying I'm not ok with my brother being dead#im not ok with how he died#not ok with never seeing him again#absolutely feel like i am walking around in the worlds slowest nightmare#one of my “aunts” actually tried to tell me that maybe this was a blessing#because maybe this car accident saved him from cancer or something#im sorry what?#you want me to be thankful that my 27 yr old#perfectly healthy and strong baby brother is dead#because maybe someday he could have possibly died of cancer instead?#i know people just want to help and make me feel better#but i don't need to feel better right now#i need to cry and rage and miss my brother#who was unfairly taken from us by an unfair and random universe#it was not part of some grand scheme of gods#it was just a horrible accident#i just want to be sad and grieve in fucking peace
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I know everyone is talking about Mickey Mouse, and, like, yeah, absolutely go insane y'all, do what you've always wanted! ...But I'm admitting now that I am absolutely shit terrified of the original Mickey Mouse and now every post is already a horror movie dear god help me
#mickey mouse#all the early cartoons terrify me#i think it's the art style#i remember i was so scared of cuphead (same artstyle) that whenever a family member played it i had to leave the room#literally i saw the title screen and they had to turn it off#i have had NIGHTMARES about the early cartoons#they just... terrify me#i think i have a fear of media from the 1930s-1940s in general#i think it goes back to being scared by doctor who with the empty child- specifically the gas mask#i dont know why i have such a strong fear though#i went to a museum with old transport and that once and couldn't even stay more than 10 seconds inside the ones you could go inside#i think im just really weird. idk.
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#honestly it would be sooo much easier to think about the possibility of having a child#if everyone hadn’t always been like ‘oh of course you’ll do that’ and then ‘well you’ll change your mind’#thus making the whole thing solidify in my brain as a big scary thing everyone wants to force me into. backfired lmao#and also if I could be assured I would be treated with humanity and respect throughout such a process#but I cannot#but like. idk.#I’m unconvinced I would be a good parent. strong possibility I’d suck at it actually#I’m too easily overstimulated I get short with people too easily my lifestyle is too whacky etc. and Ive always been very convinced that No#but in the last year or so Ive been having pregnancy dreams that aren’t nightmares. bizarre.#and a part of me is like Hm#alexa play ‘i think about it all the time’ by charli xcx
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burke for character bingo please <3
Burke Devlin
Character Opinions Bingo
#polkaknox talks#he gets a gold star for being A Bastard. i don't really want to kiss him but muah.#honestly? was not particularly sold on Burke as a character until really late in his run as the antagonist. and then they pulled his teeth.#if he was real i'd have to kick him off a cliff. he didn't get bullied anywhere near enough. absolute nightmare of a man [honorific].#jackass theater kid with too much money and massive control issues. pathologically insincere. <3#PEOPLE LIKE YOU ROT WHEREVER THEY ARE.#DIVERSITY LOSS.#the gatsby-ahab-edmond dantes-heathcliff hybrid that every supernatural soap opera deserves. <3#why be normal about your ex sending you to prison and stealing your fiance when you could [checks notes] metaphorically sell your soul;#amass a fortune the likes of which has never been seen in collinsport; lie to everyone about your intentions; flirt with your exboyfriend#[when you're not threatening his life. especially when you're threatening his life.]#& everyone else including your ex's older sister his barely-legal niece your ex fiance and the family governess;#threaten to ruin this one-horse town's economy and then end up shocked-pikachu when no one's happy about it;#befriend your [unknown to you] son and cover for him when he tries to commit patricide;#realize that your oldest friend in town was the one who sold you out for $15000 and just. have to live with that. forever.#i think about him & joe & bill being all three cut from the same cloth - poor kids from the wrong side of the tracks in weird relationships#with the Collinses that are the making and the breaking of them at least once a day.#if you ever need me to bite through steel. remind me that he's the second main character we see - reflected in the dark train window;#right behind vicki. does the writing always live up to that intention? no. but he's such a good shadow archetype for her.#ANYWAY.#i don't get bullied enough for being the fandom burke partisan. probably.#ask meme#ETA: i don't feel right saying that everyone else is wrong about him because no one else has strong opinions about him. i get that.
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i am not immune to the idea of s1-2 samifer
#avery.txt#young sam being so desperate and confused and distraught bc he thought he could escape this life but no. he couldn't#and here's this easy calm confident man who tells him it'll be alright bc he's strong and capable#sam keeps having nightmares but sometimes this man shows up and pushes them away and makes him feel at peace#not to be all freudian abt it but he never had this support from his father & now there's this handsome man encouraging and accepting him#so he feels Something. and it's fine because it's just this recurring dream right?#but then he finally is able to ask this dream man what/who he is and. he says he's an angel. who's been watching over sam since he was born#(this is a scenario where lucifer gets out of the cage 4 seasons early ig)#and sam finally feels SEEN. he finally feels like his faith has been worth it.#he throws caution to the wind. grabs his angel and kisses him. tells him he wants him even tho he knows its wrong.#and his angel is kinda taken aback. this was NOT where he saw this going/where he was trying to steer it. he didn't think sam would do THAT.#but he gives sam what he wants and oh. it's GOOD. sam dreams that he shows his angel all the love his angel has given him.#idk where this goes/what the endgame would be here but. i love young sam still grieving jess and searching for his dad or grieving for him#*being swept up by someone who gives him what he needs and cares about him unconditionally#and doesnt care that he ran away. that he doesnt obey. that he doesnt fit the mold. someone who loves these things about him.#i love them so much in every possible way <3 con or noncon <3 varying lvls of fucked up <3 love all of it#averywriting
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