#night/shade: you’re the Drug
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hanbinics · 3 months ago
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my eyes only — c.s.
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pairing ⟶ !dealer chris x !inexperienced fem reader
contents ⟶ drug use, suggestive content.
word count ⟶ 1k
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you can’t help but be bored.
you’re currently sat on chris’s lap, round eyes glancing around the room from time to time with pursed lips. the music is so loud that you can feel every hit of the bass in your chest, the thump having been uncomfortable at first though now you’re more or less used to it.
one of chris’s arms hooks around your waist while his hand comes to rest over your lap to meet the other, long fingers holding an expertly rolled joint between them. parties like this one have never been your thing, and your boyfriend knows that, but they’re also a lucrative source of income for him, and you like to tag along simply because you like spending time with him, and he definitely likes having you there—no matter how many times he insists that you’re a “fuckin’ distraction.”
when your gaze passes over the same couple making out in the corner for the third time, you let out a soft sigh and shift slightly in chris’s lap just as a small cloud of smoke wafts from his mouth. you watch the subtle squint of his pretty blue eyes, the irises tinged red a little bit with each hit he takes. you silently wonder what it feels like, the sudden curiosity prompting you to tilt your head to the side slightly.
he catches the movement almost immediately, gaze flitting to you. “somethin’ the matter?” he hums, leaning back into the couch now. the arm that was wrapped around your waist shifts so that his hand rests against your lower spine instead, right where the fabric of your skirt begins to curve to the shape of your ass.
you shake your head at first, but chris can tell you want to ask him something. one eyebrow quirks upward the slightest bit as he bends the elbow of the arm still holding his joint. “not gonna ask you again, petal. better tell me now or wipe that look off your face.”
you blush at the use of the nickname “petal”—his “pretty flower,” he’d called you. you didn’t think it would stick, but it never fails to paint the apples of your cheeks a soft shade of pink.
the pretty blush on your face isn’t lost on him, but he’s more focused on the way you seem to struggle to tell him what’s on your mind. there’s this soft look of concentration on your face, eyebrows drawn together at the middle and the tip of your nose crinkled like some cute little animal—a fuckin’ bunny or some shit.
he’s just about to tell you to get on with it then when you finally part your pretty lips, “i wanna smoke.”
three simple words leave your mouth and you don’t elaborate—not at first anyway. you wait for chris’s answer, but it doesn’t come right away. you’ve had this conversation before—about smoking—and he’d shot you down almost instantly. “don’t need that shit fuckin’ with your pretty head,” he’d said. and you’d accepted that answer with a quiet pout because later he’d placated you with his head between your thighs until you’d came three different times in one night. now, though, you won’t be letting it go so easily.
“’s not fair you get to do it all the time. if it’s that good, i wanna know too,” you insist then, pursing your lips.
you try to hold his gaze firmly, but you can slowly start to feel your resolve crumble as he looks over your face, tongue running over his top teeth. after a minute or so, he makes a noise somewhere in his throat and straightens up on the couch, sitting up now. you shift slightly in surprise, watching as he brings the joint to his mouth once again where he takes a long drag, cheeks hollowed out.
before you can ask what he’s doing, the hand that had been pressed into your lower back reaches up for a firm grip on your jaw instead, fingers digging in lightly but firmly enough that he forces your lips apart so that he can lean forward to blow a wispy cloud of smoke into your waiting mouth.
you’re so surprised by the sudden action and the ghost of his lips against your own that you don’t even realize what happened at first until he’s leant back, hazy blue eyes studying you curiously for a few seconds.
when you don’t say anything immediately, his tongue wets the flesh of his lower lip before speaking, “’s all you’re gonna get, so don’t start complainin’,” he tells you firmly, his expression letting you know he’s not going to budge. truthfully, you don’t even mind. the action had caught you so off guard, had been so sensual, that you can’t help but want to experience it all over again.
so instead of arguing, you simply offer him a bit of an eager little nod of your head, blushing lightly under his amused gaze. you watch the hand holding the joint begin to lift to his mouth again, prompting your own to part in quiet excitement for the experience yet again.
only, chris pauses at the sight, blue eyes roaming over your face and lingering on your soft pink lips before he’s breathing out a quiet chuckle. “look at you with your mouth all open f’me. listenin’ so well, petal,” he praises you quietly, fingers reaching out to grip your chin once again.
this time, his expression turns more serious, grip tightening on your delicate face. “but you don’t do this shit with anyone else. this shit's for my eyes only,” he tells you, searching your eyes for any hint of defiance there though he knows he won’t find any—you’re always so good for him.
still, he persists. “you hearin’ me?”
he doesn’t blow another round of smoke into your obedient mouth until he gets that wide-eyed little nod he loves so much. and when you’re alone in his room again for the night, he watches you sink to the carpeted floor on your knees to show him just how well you really do listen to him.
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a/n. i had the inspiration to write for !dealer chris after reading a lot of work from @sturnioz so please go show her some love. her writing is incredible, and i love her take on him !!
©hanbinics
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urhoneycombwitch · 7 months ago
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foreword: have u ever had a buddy so good you jack off with him <3 roommate!Eddie x reader fic for ya. link to roommate!Eddie mlist here
cw: drug mention, R wears a bra, has breasts (implied to be large enough to “spill”) + V, no pronouns used only petnames, nipple play, R is queer (talks about Molly Ringwald in a sexual nature <3), praise kink, mutual masturbation, but as friends, we’re all normal here okay, we Do Not talk about our hidden feelings in this one soz
wc: 2.3k
___
An unfortunate shift of the pillows supporting your body pulls you from the depths of sleep, consciousness surfacing, breaching with a soft huffy groan. 
Waking up on a normal day is hard enough. Waking from a good dream, one where someone’s head was between your legs and everything was swelling lush with heat? Now that’s torture. 
You burrow the cold side of your face under the covers, eyes still screwed shut in defiance of being awoken before the dream could pay off. There’s a heartbeat pounding near the apex of your thighs; with one leg stretched out and the other draped around the curve of your body pillow, your hips roll forward automatically, seeking friction.
The soaked front of your underwear drags against the pillow’s seam, catching your clit on the next glide of your hips. Another soft moan, breath fanning from your parted lips. If you can stay in this grey area of sleep and waking, maybe the horniness will swallow your mind back to the dream…
When someone’s hand brushes your bare shoulder, your movements freeze. Goosebumps prickling in the palm-owner’s wake, you blink against the morning light pouring in through your bedroom window and try to orient yourself.
Your head is nestled in the curve of someone’s neck, left arm tucked secure around their chest. Leg hitched over their waist, cotton boxers band digging at the plush of your thigh- something else solid and warm trapped against their stomach.
A snuffle from your human body pillow, and the waking world hits you sideways, all at once- Eddie. You’d fallen asleep with Eddie last night, after helping him play-test a new hybrid strain and dancing to records all evening, until you both collapsed in a heap of giggles. In your bed. 
Which means that you’ve been humping Eddie’s leg in your sleep. And the thick length trapped under your thigh belongs to him, too. 
Before you can even fully process or think up an escape plan holding the least amount of embarrassment for you both, Eddie’s stretching the arm that isn’t cupping your shoulder up and out with a long yawn. 
His hips shift, pressing himself into your leg unintentionally, and you can feel the moan that rumbles through his body- at your ear, vibrating under your hand on his bare chest. Eddie mumbles something incoherent and sleep-addled, pulling you in closer, nosing at the crown of your head.
“Uh-” your voice comes out half-squeak, half-croak, not fully pushing off Eddie but keeping your frame tight enough to roll away at a moment’s notice. “H-hey.”
Eddie’s palm smooths down the plane of your upper back, stopping at the wide band of your bra. He makes another noise, this time a bit less sleepy- and then he, too, freezes, all those points of contact along the length of your own body stiffening, muscles tensed with realization. 
“Oh, fuck. Shit.”
Eddie’s voice is like rocks on pavement, three shades of gravelly, really not helping your whole ‘wet as a river’ situation, one that he can probably feel leaking onto his bare leg at this point. He doesn’t immediately roll away, though; he remains in that freeze-mode, tense and poised, holding you against the span of his side still.
Well. As frozen as one can be with a throbbing case of morning wood.
“I guess we… fell asleep,” you say, carefully, adopting the same cat-like stillness, the pause before a big leap. “Sorry-”
“You’re sorry? I’m sorry. Jesus.” Eddie uses the hand that’s not cradling your shoulder to scrub down his face. This close, nestled into his neck, you can feel his loose hair tickling your cheek, the light scratch of his day-old stubble against your forehead when he speaks. “I’m gonna… go take care of this. And then maybe. Breakfast? Christ. Can’t think. All my blood’s elsewhere right now.”
You breathe a chuckle. His arm is still wrapped around you. 
“Yeah. Okay. Or you could just- take care of it. Here, I mean. With me.”
Eddie’s breath stops, actually stops, then stutters back into steady rhythm under your hand. “...yeah?”
He sounds unsure but curious, excitement bleeding into the edges of that one word as your thumb sweeps across the spot where his ribcage meets. “Yeah. Be doing me a favor, too- I was kind of in the middle of a… a good dream. Prob’ly me that woke you up, anyways.”
Eddie’s hand drops from your shoulder, slithers back to his own space, disrupting your head rest briefly- until you realize he’s doing it to make enough room for you both to stretch out flat (on your mattress that was barely designed for one full-grown person). 
“A good dream,” Eddie parrots, as you both re-situate under the thin cover of your floral-patterned top sheet. Shoulder to shoulder, skimming the heat from each other’s bare skin as you stare resolutely at the ceiling, there’s a frizzy mass of black hair in your periphery. A hint of a smile in Eddie’s voice as he asks, “What were you dreamin’ about?”
You can feel the rippling shift of his bicep as his arm moves, hand sliding unseen beneath the sheets- a sharp inhale as his hand finds purchase over the bulge in his boxers. 
In response, your own hand follows the contoured path to the spot below your navel, toying with the band of your panties before slipping underneath. Cupping yourself, feeling the heated slick coat your fingers before dragging it back up to rest your middle against the beating pulse of your clit- “Ah- um. Was dreamin’ about. Uh. Molly Ringwald.”
A few days from your latest John Hughes marathon, it’s the first feasible famous person that comes to mind. Luckily, Eddie just laughs, in a stilted gasp when his fist finds his aching cock- “Oh, fuck- yeah? Redheads do it for you these days?”
“Uh huh.” Maybe if you keep the focus on someone else, you’ll both be able to come out of this event unscathed. Walk away with your hands clean- er. Well. Nope. 
A better analogy is gonna have to wait, because your abdomen’s tightening with each pass of your wet finger over your clit, pleasure licking and sparking, the usual slow-build to orgasm forming with shocking rapidity.
“What was she doing?” Eddie, sounding strained and strung-out already (really makes you wonder how long you’d actually been using each other, in sleep, grinding and working the other person up), hand moving in long strokes- “In your dream, I mean. Licking you out? Did she use fingers?”
It’s not like you haven’t heard Eddie’s dirty talk before- in fact, you helped cultivate it, years ago when he was nervous for a third date and wanted some advice. You’ve coached him on sex techniques, he’s given his own expertise, you’ve both appraised the other's nudes, for christ’s sake- this is just a natural extension of your friendship. Your closeness. 
Eddie’s feeling awfully close, now, his arm bumping against yours with each pass of his fist over his dick, your leg periodically grazing the downy hair of his shin as your hips jolt upwards, into the electricity stemming from the pad of your finger. 
Choking on your words around a bright surge of pleasure- “Y- yeah. Her mouth. Fingers. All of it.”
“Fuck.” Eddie’s form lurches, doing a half-crunch forwards- risking a glance, you catch a glimpse of the sweat beading at his temples, the dark slant of his brow in concentration, jaw working through the grit of his teeth- “Why don’t you use some fingers, then.”
Like he’s got you under some sort of command spell (because you’re not touching the alternatives with a ten-foot pole), you obey, middle and ring fingers curling into the tight channel of your cunt. There’s a spot you hit on your front wall, gummy and responsive, muscles reacting on instinct by contracting and spasming around your fingers.
You’re close already, panting, head tipped back against the bottom sheet, neck bared, eyes squeezing shut at the wave of pleasure that begins to pulse insistently. “I’m- fuck, Eddie. Keep talking, please-”
“So good,” Eddie says, almost funny in how quick he is to interrupt your pleading. “So good for me. Sound so wet, too, bet you’re soaking…”
You are, in fact, rivulets of slick joining into one just under the globes of your ass, cooling and sticky, a bit uncomfortable but since it’s laundry day and you feel this good you can’t really bring yourself to care.
A half-gasp whimper as you writhe your pelvis up, again, chasing that edge, tantalizingly close, the wet noises from your weeping cunt and plunging fingers spurring Eddie on.
“That’s it, baby.” He’s encouraging even in his own heady fog of pleasure (must’ve had a good sex-talk coach), voice low and rough at your ear as he drops his chin to get closer. “Tell me what you need, hm? Lemme get you there.”
“Need you- you, to…” Frustrated by your lack of breath, in lieu of communicating with words you slide your fingers from yourself, seeking Eddie’s hand before you can overthink the action. You leave a trail of slick against his hip bone, and Eddie releases himself to give you his hand- moaning, cock twitching, as you coat your own heated wetness over his dry palm. 
This time, when you both get your hands back on yourselves, it’s with a tandem whine, Eddie’s ending with a hiss through teeth- “Fuck. Fuck, yes. So wet. So good.”
“Yeah?” Like you never left, your pussy molds easily to the shape of your three fingers again. Your other hand leaves your side to paw at your clothed breast, nipples peaking through the lace. “I gotta- I’m gonna take my bra off. Please.”
You don’t actually wait for permission, but Eddie gives it anyways as you slide the cups down, babbling encouragement- “Shit, sweetheart, yeah. Whatever you gotta do. So good for me, tellin’ me what you need. Good job.”
One day, you’re gonna regret telling Eddie you get off on praise, but not today; with one nipple pinched firmly between thumb and forefinger, your other breast spills to the side, resting against Eddie’s upper arm.
He groans, from his toes, fist slipping over his cock with ease thanks to your contribution. The sounds filling your small room are obscene, sex-dipped moans and glossy wet hand movements all reaching a crescendo as both your hips jerk up at the same time.
Keeping the same pace against your clit as Eddie’s keeping on his dick, the spark of pleasure has turned into a roar that swims up to your ears, a white-out of an orgasm fast approaching each time the heel of your palm slams into your clit. 
“Eddie- jesus, Eddie- Eddie Eddie Eddie-”
You’d feel sheepish about how desperate you sound if Eddie wasn’t matching your energy two-fold. His lanky frame thrashes when your speech devolves into a repetition of his name, keening as his fist staves off tipping over the edge with a tight ring at the base of his cock- “That’s it, baby, y’can do it, angel. Come on. Come with me. Please, please-”
With a final cruel twist to your breast, you come undone, orgasm spooling heat throughout your whole system, Eddie’s name unraveling in a long cry. Eddie follows you, fucking up into his fist, ropes of cum shooting to the top of the sheets tent he’d made, hunching against the spasms crawling up his abdomen. 
You ride the last of your orgasm out on the stretch of three fingers, releasing your nipple when the pressure turns to a twinge of pain. Under the covers, your bare chest heaves around the stretched elastic band of your shoved-down bra; with shaky, uncoordinated hands, you reach behind and beneath yourself to undo the hooks, flinging the offending clothing in the general direction of your hamper.
Eddie chuckles, breathless, bellows of his ribs nudging your forearm as he sinks back into his (your) pillow. “Christ. Good thing it’s laundry day.”
There’s no room for shame, no ounce of you that wants to dwell on what this could mean, right now- although there’ll be plenty of time for that later. As it stands, you’re both swathed in a quiet, post-sex bliss, neither wanting to disturb the peace. 
In a dreamy haze, you take note of little things- the drag of Eddie’s pinky against the back of your hand. The glint of his rings stored in a neat line atop your nearby dresser. A block of mid-morning sunshine from the window cast over the bed, prickling at your legs with warmth.
After a few minutes of this, Eddie sits up, mumbling apologies when you snatch the sheets to keep yourself covered. “You want first shower?”
He looks at you over his shoulder, down the lovely arc of his nose, brown eyes tender and staying on you for a beat too long. Squirming under his gaze, you find anywhere else to look (other than the pale slope of his back, smattered and dotted with freckles), shaking your head. “Nope. All yours.”
You flick your interest back to the ceiling as Eddie pulls up his boxers, grimacing at the mess he’s made of your sheets; before leaving, he bends to scoop up your tossed bra, snapping his own underwear to emphasize- “I’ll start this load before showering, then I’ll come back for your bedding.”
At your nod, Eddie leaves to clank around in the laundry closet; then there’s a rusty squeak of the shower handle, a subsequent rush of water, and Eddie’s pleasant husky humming floats down the hall through the open doors. 
You roll onto your front with a contented sigh, burying your nose in the pillow Eddie was just lying on- it smells like him, now, smoky and spicy and familiar. 
You spend the rest of his shower time coming up with a good excuse to save this pillowcase from being washed.
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coweye · 3 months ago
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Just Logan
The worst Logan part ii
Logan Howlett x Reader!Loganverse| smut | 10k words
Summary: You return from the void ready to navigate your new reality with the not-quite-love-of-your life. Second Part to worst Logan.
Warning: Mentions of drugs, Canon Typical Violence, gratuitous Laura paternal love. smut, p in v, unprotected sex, creampie, assplay mentioned.
AN: Fair warning my loves - this hasn’t been proof read… unless you’re reading this after the 26th August! I’m currently posting this on my phone at an airport 💖 I love you all so much and can’t express how much your love for my stories has meant to me!
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Achilles once said “I would recognize you in total darkness, were you mute and I deaf. I would recognize you in another lifetime entirely, in different bodies, different times. and I would love you in all of this, until the very last star in the sky burnt out into oblivion."
For seven excruciating years you’d been without him. 
Eventually, time had dulled the ache, made it so you forgot what it was to have another hold you through the night, to make you feel safe and loved. Love was like a drug; one you had unknowingly spent the past half a decade weaning yourself from.
Then he appeared; ‘The worst Logan’ as Wade had not-so-affectionately dubbed him, and in one fell swoop undid years of hard work. He came and reminded you just how fucking good drugs were - that motherfucker was class-A narcotics and he was addictive as hell.
By mid morning you were already desperate for another hit, your eyes searching for him around every corner.  Part of you was afraid you had gotten him all wrong, that perhaps you didn’t know this man as well as you thought you did. Though at the last second Logan had shown up, unfolding him from the boot of the Honda and joining the fray, every inch the hero he insisted he wasn’t. 
You and Laura sliced a path through your enemies, side by side, the two of you moved in perfect synchronisation. In the years since his death, she had taken Logan’s position in your formation, and now the two of you fought together as naturally as breathing. 
Logan couldn’t help but watch the two of you together for a moment, though after a knife to the ribs as reward for his lack of awareness, he shakes his head free from the indulgence of his ready-made-family and returns to the task at hand, carving his way through the enemy to get to Cassandra. 
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 It had been a hard-won battle, though Laura had been extraordinary. You, yourself had been outmatched with the Juggernaut, only in a position to bend the light keeping yourself from sight as you inflicted shallow cuts with your blades along his arms and torso creating confusion and pain that allowed Laura to find her openings.
Your girl sliced through his Achilles bringing him to his knees before she ended his life with four claws through his chest. 
In your eyes, as she stared down Goliath her soft features melted into a renaissance painting. A woman in her own right, overflowing with untold power, those shades making her look every inch the badass motherfucker you knew she was.
You can’t help your untimely realisation that your daughter has grown into a formidable woman as you propel her through the air with bubbles of psionic energy to deliver the helmet to her not-quite-father and Wade.   
The brief moment of triumph as you overcome Cassandra’s men is followed in quick succession by the sobering loss of Logan for a second time, as he leaps through the golden shimmering portal.
It had been the plan all along, and yet you couldn’t quite account for the stone in your stomach weighing you down at the realisation he is gone yet again.
Laura’s deep brown eyes, all too often full of difficult emotions, are hidden behind the colourful sunglasses, though you can tell from the fall in her shoulders that your girl feels the same grief. She had held out childlike hope that the two of you would stay with him despite his earlier brush off and you are far too ashamed to admit you had been harbouring similar hopes.
To have gotten him back for a single day only to lose him again, for you it is painful. For her, it must be torment.
So, you put a pin in your pain for now. Loss is an old friend, one that will no doubt visit in the dead of night when sleep inevitably evades you, but Laura needs you.
Swallowing your grief deep down, you begin by tucking her wild dark hair back behind her ears and with the bone of your knuckle you wipe an errant splatter of blood from her brow.
Around you, your team bask in the defeat of Cassandra and her people, yet the two of you mourn losing yet another Logan.
“The time we had with him was a gift.” You whisper to her. The second you touch her palm with your finger tips; her claws instantaneously retract. You interlock your fingers with her own bloodied ones. 
For a moment the two of you stand together like this, coming to terms with the loss. It doesn’t destroy you the same way North Dakota had, but it has certainly taken the air from your lungs. 
“What now?” Laura asks, burying her emotions, more like Logan than you care to admit.  
“Now we find a way to get back home, Cassandra’s not hunting us anymore, maybe we can-“
“Miss Y/LN, Miss- “At the sound of an unfamiliar voice your head whips round and you are armed with a knife before you even make the decision and from the telltale ‘snikt’ behind you so is Laura.
 “Holster your weapons.” The agent shouts as the group of forgotten heroes turn their gaze on the TVA squad who have appeared from the orange glowing doorway. “You have been offered a pardon on order of the time variance authority - please come with us.”
 Laura steps forward, though you place a steady hand on her shoulder stopping her in her tracks. “The last time we trusted you people, we ended up in this dump.” You shout across the gulf that the agents have left between you. 
When has anything in life been this easy?
 “Mr Howlett and Mr Wilson saved the multiverse. All they have asked in return is for a second chance for the people who helped them do it.”
Whilst remaining utterly compelling it still feels far too good to be true. You look at your daughter; she pushes her sunglasses to the top of her head and nods once. She’s not a little girl anymore and she wants to go through the damn doorway.  With little in the way of options you decide with a deep sigh to be an optimist, which is how you end up in Wade Wilson’s apartment.
Five people (six if you include Dogpool) living in a two-bedroom apartment was …  to put it lightly, snug. Wade being the secret gentleman he was, offered up his room to you and Laura.
Nights he didn’t spend at Vanessa’s were spent sharing a bed with Al, much to her delight, which left Logan sleeping on the couch.
Logan: This Logan was nothing short of an enigma to you. 
The two of you had been friendly, smiling and laughing, sitting together at the party Wade had thrown to celebrate saving the universe.
It felt good, easy even to joke with him and Laura. You had felt like a real family as you sandwiched the young girl between the two of you, taking it in turns to make her laugh.
When she had abandoned the two of you to talk with Yukio and Ellie,  you had fallen into comfortable companionable silence. The simple fact of the matter was that you didn’t have much in the way of small talk, all of your talk was massive talk. A mountain you’d soon have to overcome, but neither of you wanted to break the spell.
So, you simply enjoyed each other’s company and when your knee knocked against his under the table, you didn’t bother pulling back. Instead, when he didn’t immediately recoil, you left it there pressed against the warm muscle. 
This casual touching was new to both of you and you were drunk on it, occasionally you’d brush his plaid covered bicep as you leaned across to stroke the monstrosity that was Mary Poppins or you’d brush your fingers against his with a smile when you handed him a fresh beer.  
It’s fair to say, you are both black belts at emotional avoidance. 
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Her abandoned airbed, more electrical tape than plastic at this point, lies deflated in the corner of the bedroom, dual holes from slender claws having led to its untimely end.
With a sigh you rise, stretching your aching back. 
Wincing as it cracks from contorting on the edge of the double mattress- even in the goddamned void, you’d had more personal space than this.
Sparing a glance at the alarm clock on the bedside table, you see it’s 6:23am. In a vain hope you just listen to the sounds of the quiet apartment, no one else has awoken yet. You sigh with relief, desperate for some alone time, after living for a week with everyone underfoot. 
Closing the bedroom door behind you as silently as possible, you tiptoe with bare feet with the honest intention of going to the kitchen for some coffee.
Only you’re sidetracked by the man sprawled across the sofa looking like he was carved from goddamn marble.
The blanket is wrapped around his plentiful jean covered thighs as his bare size twelves extend comically over the arm of the sofa. Logan’s thick, veined and extremely bare arm hangs off of the leather cushion, whilst the other clutches a pillow under his head. Logan is wearing a white vest that leaves very little to the imagination, so much so you’re unable to help the flashback of stroking the abs you know linger below the almost transparent white cotton. You’re unsure how long you stand there, but it can’t be more than 30-seconds before his eyes wearily blink open, startling you.
“Paint a picture, it’ll last longer, Bub.” When he speaks, his voice is even thicker than usual with sleep, it’s like honey on gravel and it makes your skin tingle.
“Uh-” You’re lost for words after being caught ogling the sleeping man. All you can do is a quick apology as you carry on through to the kitchen.
When you’re safe from view, you slap palm to your forehead - Why? Why couldn’t you for once in your life just be smooth? 
The second you're out from under his searing gaze a million infinitely suaver responses flood your mind. ‘Don’t mind if I do.’ ‘Don’t tempt me.’ 
You’re nearly (Y/A+7 years) old, not the idiot girl that pined after the unattainable bad boy of the mansion. For the love of all that’s holy; two different versions of that man have been inside of you, and you ran away!
You’re pacing in front of the fridge when you hear his body slide against the leather of the couch. Honestly, you’re praying for the void to swallow you back up as you try to act casual, filling the coffee machine with water.
 “Mornin’.”
“Good Morning, Logan.” You reply though you can’t quite meet his eyes as you flick the switch for the drip to begin. 
“Back on the couch - Eh, I was just kiddin’ around, Bub.” He scratches his neck awkwardly.
“Oh. I, uh, I know.” You reply, finally meeting his eyes. Those hazel eyes stop you in your tracks as they scan your face for any trace of emotion. He’s as out of his depth as you are, and that thought alone calms you. “I’m sorry, If i’ve been strange the past few days… I thought…I just assumed I would never make it out of the void and I was there for months and uh-”
“Bub… y/n... I don’t hold you to what happened that night.”
“What?” You narrow your brows in confusion, you were only going to talk about the uncomfortable adjustment period to regular life.  
“You were vulnerable, I look like your guy. I get it.” His voice is still deep and he’s trying to be so understanding and noble, you can’t help as you reach out and grab his bare wrist, your forefinger can't even meet your thumb as you hold onto his thick warm flesh.
“Logan, no that’s not what I meant at all. I-” 
“-Mornin’ love birds! Don’t let me stop ya’ from takin’ care of that mornin’ wood, just getting some delicious nectar of the gods.” Wade comes from the bedroom wearing Al’s lilac dressing gown and what looks suspiciously like the older woman’s pyjamas, riding far too high up his shins to be his own for the much taller man. Wade leans against the counter next to you and the coffee machine, burying himself in the neck of the dressing gown and looking pointedly at your hand around Logan’s wrist and whispers. “Pretend I’m not even here.”
“God give me strength, Wade.”  Somewhere along the way, Logan’s rage with the mouth has dampened to the point there’s no real threat behind the warning.
As there’s probably about a few teaspoons of coffee in the machine, every fresh drop plinks against the glass jug only enhancing the newfound silence in the kitchen.
“Good Morning, Wade.” You sigh finally, rubbing your thumb against the hair covered flesh of Logan’s wrist in a promise as you try to use your eyes to communicate; we will discuss this. 
“Honestly, I’m not even here. Just go back to staring longingly at each other, talk amongst yourselves.”
“Fu-” Logan starts, his nose flaring at the man beside you, his finite patience already slipping.  
“Incoming.” Wade sings-song lowly, as he drops his head onto your shoulder.
“What are we all doing in the kitchen?” Laura asks through a yawn, her bed head innately ridiculous standing up on all sides - probably from a night spent tossing and turning, kneeing you in the spine. When Logan tears his wrist away from your hand it stings a little, but you understand, the last thing Laura needs in her life is more confusion.
“There’s a line for the coffee, kiddo.” Logan gives her a look that's somewhere between a smile and a grimace. The man’s sharp edges were slowly being worn away again and he was really trying with his daughter, though a tiny growl leaves the young woman at his words.
“She’s not a morning person.” Is the only answer you have for him when he looks your way both confused and quite frankly a little frightened as your daughter takes the first cup of coffee and returns to her room slamming the door behind her with her foot.  
“Teenagers, huh? Whatcha’ gonna’ do with them?” Wade sighs, still leaning his head on your shoulder having made no effort to stop the queue jumper.
Logan gives Wade a meaningful look and tilts his head towards the door, which the man currently invading your personal space bubble continues to ignore. 
There’s something about Wade you can’t find it in yourself to be annoyed by. 
Those years on the run with Charles, Logan and Caliban had been so hopeless, so void of laughter, that the man with the constant jokes puts you at ease, makes your heart feel lighter. Wade makes you smile which has been a rare commodity in recent years.
Perhaps it's the fact he makes the world feel a little lighter that makes you so willing to tolerate the overly familiar head on your shoulder. 
The two men are having a silent conversation, as you stare at the fridge awkwardly.
“I…uh… I think I’ll jump in the shower.” You detangle yourself from Wade and place a meaningful hand on Logan's arm. “Talk later?”
He looks to your hand, and then to your face and simply nods. 
Only, you don’t end up talking later, because after your shower, you return to your bedroom hell bent on getting dressed and heading out into the city for the day to get some distance before you start your new job tomorrow.
That’s when you find Laura twisting her hands and waiting for you. The second you close the door behind you, she stands.
“You alright, bug?” You ask, giving her the opening she so desperately needs. 
“I, um, have some news.” She can barely meet your eyes, a trait you’re sorry to say she’s picked up from you. 
“Yeah?” You prompt, taking her hand in yours.
“I want to join the X-Men.” Your mouth opens involuntarily to reply, but no words can find their way up your throat; you’re irrevocably thrown. 
In the years since the devastation Charles had wrought on the manor, you hadn’t been able to muster the strength to return to West Chester.
“I know, you might not be sold on the idea but I want to use my powers for good, I don’t want to get a normal job - not that the coffee shop isn’t great for you - but I’m-”
“It’s great, Laura.” Your voice sounds wrong even to your ears. “I’ll do my best to get used to being back in the Mansion-”
“No.” You can tell it slips out, she honestly doesn’t mean it to. “I … I, uh, want to join the X-Men, me. I want to go alone.”
“Oh.” You can’t help the deflated sound of your voice, you hadn’t foreseen your daughter breaking up with you when you woke up this morning.
“No, mamá,” She takes your hand in hers, desperate to fix it. “I love you and I can’t ever repay-”
“No, Laura.” You tell her. She looks terrified before you rush to finish. “You don’t ever have to repay me. You are fucking magnificent, so you go be an X-Man. I love you so much.” 
She wraps her arms around your middle, buries her face in your  shoulder and squeezes, she's just as tall as you are now at nineteen years old and fuck if it doesn’t break your goddamn heart.. “If you get yourself hurt with those do gooders, I’ll fucking kill you.”
After dressing and many more tearful hugs as the two of you talk logistics, it's decided she’d be heading over to the mansion in the morning. 
You start work and so does she.
Your heart drops when you hear she’s put off telling you for the past five days, ever since she’d had the offer from Ellie and Yukio at the party. 
Later that evening telling Logan goes, well, about as well as you might expect.
“No.” He growls furiously. “Absolutely, no fuckin’ way.”
“Logan-” You try.
“You agreed to this?” He’s blind to reason as he turns on you. Al and Wade both sit in the living room, having called an ‘urgent family meeting’. 
“I for one think it's a great idea! - not that we haven’t loved having-” One look from Logan does what you had up until this very moment thought impossible and shuts Wade up. 
“Logan, she’s an adult - she wants to join them. We should be supportive.”
“Supportive?!” He’s incredulous as he laughs harshly, voice utterly brimming with condescension when he continues. “You forgettin’ what happened there, huh, bub? You and I are the fuckin’ sole survivors - Last of the class! How's your Storm doing? Your Hank? Your Scott? Oh wait, their all fuckin’ dead!”
Your Logan never spoke to you this way. Never directed that fire within him at you, it's unfair, the comparison, you know this but your brain is misfiring with shock. 
Had your Logan ever truly cared about anything this much when you’d been together in those dark days? Had all the fight truly left him back then? Had the two of you just ended up together out of mere convenience?
When you don’t reply, he just stares your way, his nose flared still utterly furious, at you, your betrayal, at Laura, at this situation he’s not emotionally equipped to deal with. This Logan’s shoulders are squared like he’s preparing to go a few rounds with you and not in a sexy way. 
It's not a situation you’re entirely sure you’ve been in before; you’ve never been his enemy.  So you’re not sure how to approach this cornered animal, ready to swipe out at you in his fear. 
“If I didn’t go to that school, I never would’ve met any of you. I would be back in Y/H/T (your hometown) and I’d be lesser for it.” 
It utterly disarms him, he’d clearly been prepared for harsh words to combat his own.
Pacing like a tiger locked in a cage, he finally sighs rubbing his forehead irritability. Logan turns, grabbing his leather jacket making the doorframe shake as he slams it after himself. 
“I think he’s secretly happy for you, Laura.” Wade’s voice is light and full of sarcasm.
“That went just about as well as to be expected.” Al huffs from her position at her side as she takes Laura’s hand in her own. “I’m sorry, Sweetie. He’ll come round to the idea.”
“Yes, he fucking will.” Seeing your daughter's face crumble as he storms off like a child is apparently your breaking point.
You follow after him, though as you’re a grown adult in charge of her emotions you simply allow the door to close behind you.
“Haha! - She’s gonna beat the shit outta’ him! Its gonna’ be like 454 when she-” You hear Wade cackle as you take off.
It doesn’t take long to find him, you know the man better than you know yourself, though it does certainly help that he’s predictable as shit.
The closest bar to the apartment is where he’s pulled up a stool, his nose flares the second he smells you.
“I mean it this time, I’m not looking for damn company.”
You ignore him, just as you did the time before. 
“Two Corona’s please.”
“I don’t drink that shit.” he huffs. “Corona and a Blue Ribbon.”
It shouldn’t hit you the way it does. 
Just like before, this miniscule insignificant difference, it utterly devastates you.  
A simple fact; his favourite beer. The drink he ordered at every bar he entered without fail - is suddenly, without warning, repulsive to him. 
It just serves to remind you that the man slouched on the bar stool beside you is a complete stranger wearing the face of your dead lover.
Perhaps your Logan drank it simply because he didn’t want to hurt your feelings? 
Had he hated it all along? 
Did he only drink it because you did? 
Maybe the beer is a pertinent metaphor for your entire life.
He only drank the beer because it was there, just like he only fell for you because there was no one better around. 
Your mind is moving a mile a minute, you’re only bought out of your spiral by a bottle being placed down in front of you.
Shaking your head, you will yourself to calm down. After a few centering breaths, Logan is looking your way. 
“Thought you were comin’ to give me a talkin’ to.”
It's funny, in a way, your spiral actually has calmed you, reminded you that this isn’t your Logan. 
He’s a different man with his own set of wounds, trying to navigate this awful situation just like you are. 
“I was going to. You were a dick to her back there.” You sigh, taking a sip of your beer. “Then I remembered everything… everything you’ve lost and I thought maybe I could just cut you some slack this time.”
“That's generous.” He shakes his head, sipping his own beer. “This whole things a fuckin’ mess.”
You can’t help but agree with a nod. 
The two of you sit in silence, which would appear to be the norm these days, you have so much to say to one another, yet you can’t seem to find the words. 
Speaking to him, finding out more of the things that are different about him, terrifies you.
Little do you know, Logan is fighting a similar battle.
He hates the weight of your gaze, how it seems to hold the expectation of the great man you’d lost with every glance, it's a constant reminder how short he falls of the anchor being this world lost. 
“Where am I in your world?” You ask the question you’ve had on your mind since meeting him. He knows almost everything about you, and yet you know so little.
“Dead.” He sighs rubbing at his eyes. “With the rest of them.”
“Did we ever?” He looks your way sharply at this question, then gives a harsh shake of his head. 
It hurts a little to know you were always in the background for him - it's difficult to think of a world where you always loved him from afar, never getting to feel his skin on yours. 
“I mean - you’d have had to pay attention to someone other than her for that to happen, I guess.”
“How the fuck’-” He growls voice filled with a new emotion, one you’re not quite familiar with. Bemusement? Disbelief?  “-has this turned into me being the bad guy for not noticing you?” 
“Eh - you were a real asshole upstairs.” Smirking, you take another sip of your drink. “Question for a question? - Take it in turns?”
“I don’t wanna’ know anythin’ about your world.” He snaps, turning his head back, though you can see him watching you in the mirror beside the booze. 
It's like a countdown, you watch him battle his volatile emotions. 
5, 4, 3 , 2, 1.
“Fine.” He grunts into his beer bottle. “How’d they die?”
That throws you, you’d expected how’d we meet? What happened to Charles? Instead he hits you with that straight out the gate.
“Uh - Charles had started showing signs of a degenerative brain disease. I mean,  he was old, prone to seizures. We were desperate to find a way to control them. We were blind… to the reality of the situation.” You take a sip, resting your forehead on your hand as your eyes ache and threaten to water, this was the first time you’d ever discussed this out loud.. “Then, he had a fucking grand mal … it … it wiped out everyone within a 100,000 foot radius.” 
Unable to help it, you pick at the skin around your thumb. “It was… devastating. He killed them all. All the kids in their classrooms, our friends and family. Not even Jean could stop him.”
“He… he killed Jean?”
You're a little ashamed of the flare of jealousy at his devastation about the woman you’d always come second to. But you push that deep down, it's not the time nor place.
“How’d you survive?” He questions. 
“I was away. I’d heard of a neurosurgeon in Germany, he was developing… Well, it doesn’t matter now. But I was away, whilst everyone I cared about died.” 
You’d never had a need to speak of it, Logan had lived it alongside you - there was something cathartic about saying it all out loud. You wipe at your cheek as you gulp down the last of your drink, a heavy stone weighing your stomach now. 
“Your turn.” Logan’s voice is deep in thought as gestures to the bartender for another. He’s extending an olive branch, a kindness in the face of your vulnerability. 
You think about it for a moment, what you’d like to know. 
“We were friends at least?”
“Oh yeah, we were the best of friends, Bub. You were… uh … a lil’ younger back there, never really looked at you that way.” He scratches at his bearded chin, he’s avoiding looking your way again, uncomfortable sharing these parts of himself. “You… uh… you were gonna have pups with Pete.”
“With Maximoff?!” You squeak disbelieving, whilst taking a sip of your beer prompting a coughing fit to end them all, as you gasp for air. 
Logan sighs, slamming his open palm between your shoulder blades. He rubs the spot he just hit in a circle pattern, reminding you somewhat of the last time he drew circles.
“I had a baby with Peter?” You push your hair back from your face. “...That's why he used to stare at me … y’know there was one time…” 
You smile fondly recounting a time you caught him staring creepily across your classroom before you remember that sweet silver haired kid in your memories is dead. The smile drops from your face in an instant; you didn’t have children with him because he’s six feet under. 
“No. You were pregnant when….” He grunts, his voice has a raw edge to it. For two people constantly at odds, your souls were in the same state of flux, continually aching for vastly different reasons, yet at the root, the same cause. 
The two of you sit in silence for a moment or two, you’re processing the fact that you almost had kids with Quicksilver and he’s no doubt regretting ever playing this game.
The game. 
“It's your turn.”
“This is why she shouldn’t join them, everyone we know is dead.” Logan has had enough of the game as he sighs, rubbing at his eyes. “Being a goddamn hero gets you killed.”
“Logan.” You touch the back of the hand currently gripping the beer bottle neck like it owes him money. “She’s strong, stronger than me. Laura is you in every way that counts. She’s ridiculously stubborn, headstrong - even when she’s wrong - and she has a kind heart. She wants to use those gifts you’ve given her for good. How can you stand in the way of that?” 
Logan’s hand flips over, his warm callused fingers coming to link around your own. 
“The kind heart is all you, bub.” 
The beers have loosened your tongue, made your anxieties seem a little further away.
“I don’t know. You have your moments.” His fingers dance along your palm, stroking the broken planes.
The two of you enjoy this easy intimacy you’d been forming over the past few days. 
“How’d we get together?” Those instruments of death you’ve seen take countless lives, glide over the soft skin of your wrist. Your eyes, usually so afraid to meet his, can’t leave their hazel captivity as you process his blunt question
“Oh, uh…” Tucking your hair behind your ear with your free hand, your eyes dart to his fingers still drifting across your flesh.
“Don’t get shy on me now, bub.” He smirks, though his heart’s not in it. 
That asshole. 
Taking a deep gulp of your third beer, you rely on the liquid courage, before raising your eyes back to his.
“One night. It was a few days after everything, we had finally got a sedative for Charles. We had a moment to take stock of everything we’d lost. You … uh … he came to me and … he cried. The first time I’d seen it.” His hand pulls back, but you can’t help it, you refuse to release your hold. You don’t want to lose this connection. Your thumb dips, rubbing at his knuckle, at the joint where his claws always caused the bone to ache. “I held him and he kissed me, it was messy. It was desperate but I think we both needed to feel something that wasn’t grief.” 
“And I thought I was special… ” His voice holds sarcasm though you can tell the sentiment behind it is anything but humorous.
“You are special to me.”
“Yeah.” His voice is dismissive, like he doesn’t believe what you’re saying.
“You are.”
“I look like the guy who’s special to you, darlin’. I’m not him, as much as you may wish I am. Hell I wish I was.” He has snatched his hand away as he slams cash down on the bar.
Logan has started the short walk back to the apartment, cutting through the alley.
He’s hurt, burying it deep beneath the rage. His anger is an old friend. One he’s comfortable confronting.
“I’m done with your stupid games. I’m done with it all. Haven’t you got the memo? I’m the worst Logan.”
“I’m so fucking sick of that! You’re so goddamn cruel to yourself.” You cry out at his leather covered shoulders, that in itself seems to stop him in his tracks. The Y/N from his world was a mousy wallflower through and through, nothing he’d seen from this world led him to believe you were any different and yet his ears weren’t deceiving him. “I loved my Logan - I fucking adored him. Yes, sometimes it's hard to separate the two of you, but I care for you.”
He stands motionless in the alley as you bare your soul. 
“I’ve known you for a week. I can’t love you the same because you’re not the same person, not entirely, but my soul knows yours. You’re Logan.” You’ve closed the distance but he still wont turn around and perhaps that's what makes it easier to say the things you’ve been desperate to say for days. “I look in your eyes and I feel safe, when you touch me everything feels like it's going to be okay. You’re not the worst, you’re not the best. You’re Logan; you’re just Logan.”
Logan is on you instantly, silencing your words with a scorching kiss. It's the kind you see in movies, desperate, filled to the brim with passion, usually taking place in the rain.
His hands find your lower back, pulling you to him as your wrap your arms around his neck, making sure he can’t escape from your grasp, as he growls and pushes you against the brick wall. 
Your nose aches from the pressure of his cheek pressed against it as he devours your mouth with his own. He is claiming your mouth with a week of pent up emotions. He grips your thigh, hiking your leg up around his waist, pressing the hardened bulge of his jeans against your core. 
“Mom? … Logan?” 
There in the street light Laura is illuminated. Her face gives nothing away, she may as well be wearing those sunglasses for all you can garner from her expression. 
“Hey Love! - I.. We…uh-” Logan slowly releases your thigh, slyly adjusting his jeans in an attempt to hide his erection. You do your best to stand in front of the -ahem- sizeable bulge. 
“How's it going?” You ask with a faux air of casualness as you place your hands on your hips, though your voice has a weird edge.
“Pretty good. How’s it going for you?” Her own voice has a coy little smile to it, which puts you at ease just a little. 
“Great, I’m great. Logan? You great?”
“Great.” He grunts behind you. 
“Great! - Everyone’s … great.” 
The three of you stand in silence for a second or two, processing what's just happened or perhaps trying to decide if great is still a real word.
“You’re so weird.” Laura snorts. “For the record I’m happy that you both pulled your heads out of your asses.”
“Baby-”
“Kid-” You and Logan speak in sync. Your eyes lock as you both try and decide how the other was going to finish that sentence.
“Laura - me and your Mom… uh… things are complicated… and we don’t want to drag you into this.” Logan, the man of very few words, has managed to find them. You’re stunned into silence as he takes control of a conversation… about feelings… with his daughter.
This is not any Logan that you know.
Laura looks to you, waiting for your seal of approval on the message.  
“I know how confusing things are already, Bug.” You close the distance between the two of you, linking your fingers with hers.  “Me and your dad, we’re working through some things.”
You notice Logan’s shoulders setting straighter at his new title, like a welcome weight has been placed upon them. She nods at your words, smiling devilishly.
“It was just a matter of time, Mama. He has a staring problem.”
“No, I fuckin’ don’t.” He growls from behind you both. Your heart feels lighter than it has in a decade as the two of you cackle at his defensive response.
He digs his hands into his pockets glaring your way, though it has no heat whatsoever behind it, in fact he looks like he’s fighting a smile.
With your hand still firmly in Laura’s you pull her back towards the apartment, linking your arm through Logan’s warm, thick leather clad one. He doesn’t take your hand, but he also doesn’t pull away as the three of you walk back to the house. 
“Can we get pizza? - For emotional trauma?” She questions.
“Baby, I’ll buy you all the pizza in New York.” You reply rolling your eyes.
“Not with fuckin’ pineapple on.” Logan groans.
“Pineapple on pizza is objectively delicious!” Laura defends from her place on your otherside, she pulls on your hand still hanging between the two of you. “Back me up.”
“I will always have your back … but…. pineapple on pizza is in fact a crime against humanity.” 
Logan lets out a guffaw of victory, as Laura snarls his way. You take a mental picture, the warmth in your chest, bracketed in by your two favourite people in the world. Life is good.
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Laura leaves the next morning. 
It is a difficult pill to swallow, after seven years by her side. You can’t quite make the leap to take her to the mansion, it's something she understands. So when you embrace her at the doorway after Ellie reassures you for the 30th time she’ll look out for her, you find it hard to let go.
There hasn’t been a day you’ve been without her since you first met the scrawny 12-year old in Mexico. Laura is an extension of you, like your heart is on the outside of your body and you’re not ready for your heart to go to West Chester without you being there to protect it. 
At that moment you understand why she needs this independence, she’s 19 years old. She needs her own life, to experience everything it has to offer but that doesn’t make letting go any easier.
“You call if you need anything, anything at all.” You tell her as you push her hair behind her ears. “Don’t stay up too late but also don’t go to bed too early to make friends but make sure you get plenty of sleep.”
“I will get the perfect amount of sleep, don’t worry.” She grabs your wrists, removing your hands from her hair.
“Okay, okay. Sorry.” You sigh, your anxiety is eating away at your stomach. She’s not the vulnerable child being hunted anymore, you try to remind yourself. “If you need me-”
“-If you need us. We’ll be there.” Logan cuts you off, interjecting his own amendment. 
In a show of affection you’re not quite expecting, he hugs the girl. It's somewhat awkward and clumsy, the two have known each other for a week, but when they pull back, you can see the gesture was all that really mattered.
He hands her her backpack, which she throws one strap over her shoulder. The two smile at each other in their silent language, both such quiet souls. 
When she turns back to you, you ask. “We can walk you down?”
“Stay here? It’s easier this way.” She looks so small as she pleads with you.
Taking mercy on her, you nod. 
“Okay.” Waving you watch her turn for the door. You don’t expect however when she turns back and barrels into your chest for a final time, burying her face in your neck.
“I love you, Mama.” She whispers, you can’t help it as your eyes water. You wrap your arms around her, squeezing her tightly to your chest. 
“I love you. You are my world.” You know she needs you to let her go for her to be able to walk through that door. So with a deep inhale of her hair for the road, you pull back gathering your strength. You pull her other strap onto her shoulder and push her hair back from her face. You wipe her tears from her cheeks and give her the biggest smile you can muster, despite your teary eyes and broken voice. “Give them hell, baby.”
Laura nods, giving her own matching teary smile. Her back straightens and her shoulders square as she follows Yukio and Ellie down the hall. The duo waving at you as they descend down the stairs.
You’re so busy watching your world disappear down the hall you barely feel the heavy warm hand wrap around your shoulder in comfort. You melt into Logan’s side as your heart shatters.
You wait for him to leave in a hurry, only he does the last thing you expect of the Wolverine. He wraps his arms around you and pulls you to his chest. You close your eyes as the tears begin to fall against your will. 
Logan strokes your back. He doesn’t offer any words of comfort, but he doesn’t need to, his presence alone is enough.
His trimmed beard, bristles against your hair as he places a kiss on the top of your head, burying his nose in your hair as he holds you. 
It's hard to say how long the two of you stand there like that. Only when your body stops shaking do you finally look up through tear streamed eyes.  Logan looks down at you, his face is lined with concern. 
“You good?”
“I will be.” Your voice is broken from crying. “I-”
“I know, Bub.” He smiles your way, one you’ve not seen, perhaps ever.
It's soft, sympathetic but filled with adoration. He pushes the strand of hair, now sodden with tears, back behind your ear. His finger lingers on the curve of the bone for a moment or two before he pulls back. 
“Bar?”
“Bar.”
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Things change when Laura leaves. Not massively, and not entirely for the worst.
You and Logan had started sharing the bed, not like that (unfortunately), but sleeping next to one another. It was comfier than the sofa and his body curled around yours made you sleep a hell of a lot more soundly. Suddenly years of insomnia were cured by his muscled warmth curled around you like a safety blanket.
He never made a move to further it, even if you had once or twice tried to entice him by grinding your backside against his morning wood. The man was nothing if not resilient as he rolled away, grunting.
The two of you had been getting to know one another, you had resolved to treat him like a whole new man. This revelation meant that their differences weren’t such a blow anymore, you didn’t actively compare the two of them as much.
You had created a clear picket line in your head and it seemed to be working. They were two different versions of the same man, each with their own merits and disadvantages. 
They weren’t to be compared.
The two of you had started a ritual of movie nights, evenings where you’d sit a little too close on the couch and pretend it wasn’t happening. He’d share a blanket he knew he didn’t need just to get close to you. It was a little uncomfortable when Wade asked to come under the blanket but you enjoyed the time spent with the clown,  
In fact, your favourite night had been when you, Wade and Al had all sat down to watch the Notebook - the movie Logan point blank refused watch.
Yes, the movie he objected to so strongly, then proceeded to watch from behind the couch, standing awkwardly on the threshold of the lounge. Where he lingered for the first half an hour pretending to have no interest in it. 
When the end credits came around he was back under the blanket with you and Wade, utterly refusing to admit that he’d cried. 
That argument with Wade had gotten heated and he’d put three little tears in your blanket, but it was one of your fondest memories in this apartment. 
It had been three weeks now. Only two of them had been spent hunting for a room that you could afford on a barista’s salary, which was the only job you were qualified for after dropping off the planet for the past ten years.
Colossus had offered you your old teaching position though you didn’t want to cramp Laura’s style and you didn’t think you could face stepping foot back in that mansion, too many of your ghosts lingered there. The same could be said for Logan, though he had found much better paying work at St Margarets.
He and Wade did odd jobs, merc work to pay the rent. They killed bad guys and got paid for it, and boy they got paid a hell of a lot more than you.
The coffee shop below Wade’s apartment, or waking hell, as you’d come to know it was your slice of a regular life; trying to push your circle peg into a triangle hole.
Its a 24-hour coffee shop, cause who doesn’t need caffeine at 3am? Tch. New York. You’re leaning on the counter a million miles away, contemplating if the graveyard shifts are worth the illusion of paying your way when Logan makes up most of your share of the rent anyway.
Your singular customer is a young guy typing away on his laptop, desperately trying to finish what looks like a college essay. He’s eleven espressos in and has been here since before your shift started at 5pm. You haven’t been told if you can cut someone off, but surely that much caffeine must count as overserving. 
The bell above the door tingles loudly, the warm lights illuminate his red mask. 
Wade.
“Hey angel baby!” He comes to the counter, pretending to read the board as if he hasn’t been here a million times before.
“Hi Wade.” You smile tiredly at the man. “What’cha want? It's on the house!”
“Ooooh, gimme’ a Caramel Macchiato but hit me with like 6 shots espresso, extra caramel and don’t skimp on the whipped cream - I like to call this the don't stop til dawn.”
“Your insides must be a mess.” You shake your head and get to making his drink. 
“How’s the soul crushing service industry treating ya?” He asks, leaning one hand on the counter.
“It’s okay. A little boring, but not so bad, nobody's shooting at me.” You motion downwards with your eyes to the fresh bullet holes in his red suit.
“Ha! Yeahhh. But it's good old fashioned fun, beating guys to a pulp, saving kids from trees, taking candy from cats.” You roll your eyes at the man. “But they say, if you love your job you never work a day in your life! And boy, I love my job.”
You're steaming the milk when he speaks up again, shouting loudly over the machine. “You should come and work with me and Logi Bear. He’s 10% less of an old grumpy fuck when you’re around.”
He’s still shouting when the machine quietens, making your cringe a little as the kid looks your way. This isn’t the first time Wade’s broached the subject with you.
“I get you wanna move out, we love having you, but I get that Al’s old lady smell can get sorta’ overwhelming after a while.”
“Wade.” You sigh, admonishing his jokes about the lady who you’ve grown to care for in the past month. “If you didn’t live in a two bed, I’d love to stay, but it's just too small and I want you to have your bedroom back. I hate feeling like a burden.”
You secure the lid to his drink when its finally complete. “One heart attack in a cup.” 
“My favourite.” His mask contorts around the eyes showing his smile. “Oh Wolvie’s upstairs in bad shape. Something took a fuckin’ chunk outta him.”
“What the fuck Wade?! Why didn’t you lead with that?” You’re pulling off your apron and halfway around the counter before you remember your shift isn’t over for another hour.  
“Cause’ then you wouldn’t have made my fast juice.”
Ah fuck it.
“Don’t steal the cash register.” You warn the kid looking your way. “He’ll hunt you down and beat the crap out of you.”
Wade waves at the kid behind you, he has his macchiato in one hand and baby knife in his other for special effect. The kid gives a look of ‘Jeez’ before returning to his work.
“You coming?” You ask when your almost half way through the door.
“Nah - saving innocents makes me hungy. Fork hands has his healing factor. He'll be fine.” Wade replies dismissively.
Huffing you turn on your heel and practically run to the apartment. 
A chunk out of him? 
Logan's healing factor was significantly better without the adamantium poisoning but surely he could die. In an instant you’re back in North Dakota, holding his hand as he fades away. 
Your breath is heavy as you take the steps two at a time. 
Not again. 
The door is thrown open and instead of chaos you find the lights dimmed, candles all over the apartment and there Logan stands in a new plaid buttondown and his finest wranglers. He’s holding a bouquet of sunflowers in those veined hands you love so much. It's like something out of a Danielle Steel novel and you utterly melt.
The panic that had clutched your heart recedes. Your anxiety releases its grip on you. 
“You’re not hurt?” 
“No, bub. I’m fine. Sorry for the clown. He offered to help and I…”
You shake your head and smile at him, hesitantly you take a step forward. When you’re close enough he hands them your way. “I have it on good authority, they’re your favourites.”
“They are.”
“I wanna give you what you deserve, sweetheart.” He starts, it's like he’s rehearsed it in his head. Little do you know it's all his thought about for the past three weeks. “You deserve more than a romp in the woods, or an alley.” 
He seems to cringe at this before continuing.
“I’m not like the other guy. He was a goddamn anchor being, hero through and through from what I hear about him. I’m angry, I kill people and I drink too goddamn much, but when you look at me, I feel like I could be him.” For the first time, it is him that takes your hand in his much larger one. “Do you know how jealous of that asshole I am, Bub? That he got you first? That he got to have your uncomplicated love. If you’d been older in my timeline, I would've’ met you first, I wouldn’t have looked twice at another and I’d have fallen for you the second you looked up at me from beneath those eyelashes, how could I not when everything about you is so easy to love?” 
You’ve always been a crier, and this is no different. The man is stamping down every single one of your insecurities, reassuring you as you go. Making you feel more loved then you’ve ever felt before.
“I adore you. From your crappy cooking-”
“-Hey.”
“Your porny books you think I don’t see, to the way you cry at movies, how much you love our daughter. I fuckin’ love you Y/N. Its messy and complicated, I’m not sure if you could-”
In a total role reversal it is you who cuts him off, grabbing his face in your palms and dragging his face down to yours. Your mouths join for the first time in weeks, it is hot and full of desire and love. It's like the two of you are releasing all of your tension into this kiss, finally the air has been cleared and it's rejuvenating. 
You press your forehead to his, gasping for breath as his kisses steal the air from your lungs.
“Lo, I guarantee every version of me loves you, even if you were too blind to see it in your world.” 
“You were a married woman in my world, bub.”
You gasp theatrically. “Adulturerer.”
“You’ve spent too much time with that fuckin’ idiot.” He kisses your lips, though you don’t let it turn into anything deeper, as you pull back rubbing your nose against his. 
“Fornicator.” 
“tch… stop.” He groans, grabbing your ass pulling you into his bulge, you bite his lip with a giggle. “Why do you have these lined up?”
He never gets his answer as he picks you up, wrapping your legs around his back and carries you through to the bedroom. You pull away from his mouth, looking over to the set dinner table.
“The food… you went to all that effort!” He is kissing your neck, nipping and lathering the bites with his tongue. 
“Can’t cook for shit, darlin’. It’s take out, we can heat it up. I’m hungry for your fuckin’ sweet cunt right now. “
Your lower stomach clenches at his positively filthy words, you join your lips back to his. His teeth nip at your lip as he plunges his tongue into your mouth, running the tip along your teeth. 
Before there had been need, but now, you’re both desperate. You’ve had a mere taste of what the other has to offer and now you’ve starved yourself for months. 
“Not gonna’ last long on the first, darlin’.” He groans into your mouth as your hand works its way into his pants. He is eager as he throws you back onto the bed and is already working at peeling your black jeans down your legs. “Those fuckin’ shorts you sleep in, fuck. I’ve been dreamin’ about buryin’ myself in ya’ for weeks.”
“Please, Lo.” You’re not sure what you’re already begging for but you are desperate. You’re left in your uniform tee and panties, as he slowly unbuttons his button down, slowly revealing the white undershirt beneath. You’ve never found collarbones particularly attractive, but the tanned skin stretched across his is quite frankly delectable. 
You pull your shirt over your head, all too eager to be rid of the reminder of the job you should by all rights be at right now. Your bra is quick to follow.
“Those gorgeous tits, been thinking of these every fucking night.” You groan at his admission. He himself is shirtless, you have half a mind to return the same complement as your hands brush against his perfectly sculpted pecs. 
This man was the perfect specimen, it was unfair, t shirts should be outlawed for him. He grabs the waistband of your panties. 
‘Snikt’ and a rip sound and you are utterly bare before him, laying across Wade’s bed. 
Those gorgeous strong hands trace the planes of your body, circling your nipples before his mouth takes their place. 
He groans as his hands descend to your core. “All this for me? I’m gonna’ fuckin’ slide in, Baby.” 
And he does, two fingers push through your tight slick opening, three weeks of foreplay have left you soaking wet and wanting. How can you live with a man who looks the way he does, who consistently works out in the living room shirtless and not have the ocean in your panties. 
It seems Logan has had all he can take as he slides a third finger in, pumping it in and out of you, rubbing at your clit with his thumb. Gasping you grab at your sheets desperate to anchor yourself. 
He kisses up your breast, lavishing your chest in kisses and bites. Never enough to leave a mark but just enough to excite you. 
When he’s at your neck he leans in, whispering into your ear. “I’m gonna fuckin’ ruin that pussy.”
You can’t help it, maybe you’re a whore for this man, but you don’t fucking care. Your legs part even further on the bed.
“Please, Logan. I need you to fuck me.”
He grins savagely, pushing his already undone belt and jeans down his hips. He’s back up and claiming your mouth, your legs wrapped around his ass, pulling you down to him before he knows it. 
One hand is bearing his weight as the other disappears, he lines himself up at your entrance, the head of his cock breaching your folds. He’s thick, thicker than you remember, but there isn’t any discomfort this time. He settles for a moment, his forehead against yours. His mouth dips to join your lips, his tongue lashing out and fucking your mouth as his hips leap forward spearing you on his cock. The bed creaks with the power of his hips as he fucks you hard into the matress. 
Skin slapping on skin is all that can be heard as he readjusts onto his knees, he’s desperate to be as deep as possible and you need the same thing. 
“Lo-”
“I know, darlin’.” He grabs your waist, lifting you as if you weigh nothing at all and flips you over. Suddenly you’re astride him, your knees either side of his hips as his head rests in the pillows. 
His eyes are distracted by your tits as he smirks, happy with the view. 
You ache for him, so you reach down, lining his thick purple headed member with your core before you sink down in one stroke, his extended groan absolutely wrecks you as his big hands come to rest on the meat of your hips. 
You rest your hands on his amply hair covered chest, using his pecs as leverage before you raise your hips before slamming back down and bottoming him out. 
He’s so deep inside you, the tip of him must be brushing your goddamn cervix as you raise yourself once more, until he almost slips out before meeting his hips once more. 
Logan’s strength never fails to surprise you as his hands follow your lead yet help lift you through the manoeuvre. 
You’re bouncing on his cock, quick rise and fall sporadically grinding your clit deliciously into his pelvis. 
Logan feels fucking amazing inside of you, maybe its been the buildup of weeks but you find yourself heading towards the dive faster than ever before. 
“Ride my cock,sweetheart. That’s it, make yourself feel good.”
Gasping at his words and the change of position as he sits up, wrapping his arms around you and claiming your mouth. The second you find the angle that feels amazing against your clit, you hit it again and again, grinding hard against him.
“Lo - I’m gonna … I’m gonna -” You crash before you can get the words out, your toes curl by his knees and your whole body seizes in ecstasy. The world feels right as the stars appear behind your eyes.
The world stopped for you for a moment but not for Logan. He has bought his knees up and is pistoning his hips into your contorting body. He’s holding you against him, groaning into your neck as he continues to fuck your clenching pussy relentlessly.
“Oh fuck … your so fucking tight. Fucking perfect cunt- made - for - me.” He growls into your neck, but you’re too cock drunk to hear it properly, as he frantically thrusts his powerful hips up and into you. 
“Where? ” He pulls back, never slowing his hips as he grabs your cheeks with one hand. Your sweat laden face, vacant and looking back at him, your cunt hasn’t stopped clenching around him as he plunders your depths, his voice is strained as he asks again  “Darlin’...you gotta … tell me … where?”
“...inside, Lo. Please come inside me…” Your so overstimulated, you could cry.  The sound of his balls slapping against skin as he thrusts upwards deep inside of you, whilst he pulls your body down. He’s so fucking deep inside of you, your pussy squelching from a mixture of precum and your arousal.
With another string of lewd words he’s coming hard, Logan’s head has fallen back against the headboard exposing the thick chords of muscle, you can't help sinking your teeth into it, you dip your hand and rub at your clit clumsily, you’re so fucking overstimulated from watching him you follow him over the precipice once more, giving him an insanely tight sheath to come in. 
“That’s it, take it all, sweetheart” He groans as he continues to slowly pump his seed deep within you
Gasping you fall slack in his arms, your bones are jelly and your muscles ache, you really are a pillow princess. 
“Still with me?” You manage to nod your clammy forehead against his pec, you currently have your cheek squished against. He chuckles, as he lies back against the pillows, leaving his cock still inside of you, you can feel him leaking out of you as he softens a little, recovering for what you imagine will be another enthusiastic round if history is a teacher. 
You are utterly fucked out as you lie on his chest, listening to his breath with his cum slowly leaking from your abused hole. 
The two of you have never needed words, you lie against his chest, the hands you adore so much, come out to stroke your hair.
Rubbing soothingly at your scalp before running his calloused fingers through the locks and repeating. 
When you’ve finally gathered enough strength you lean on your hands, looking up at him.
“Welcome back, bub.”
“Hello.” You smile shyly, like you hadn’t just sunk your canines into his neck whilst wantonly riding his cock to oblivion. 
“You okay?” He asks, his hand rising to stroke your swollen bottom lip.
“Someone fucked me brain dead - but yeah, I’m good.” You smirk, nipping at his thumb.
He grins wolfishly and chuckles with his whole body, the movement causes his cock to move inside of you. Slowly you feel him hardening once more.
“You can still talk, Darlin’. Means I haven’t done my job properly.” The predatory gaze in his eyes excites and scares you in equal parts. Though you’re probably asking for trouble when you take his thumb back in your mouth. 
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It's light outside when you finally have to tap out. 
Your pussy is aching, your ass is stinging from the new sensation, your jaw throbs and your entire body is boneless. 
You can’t quite catch your breath and your cunt is leaking so much cum, that you’re probably 10% Logan at this point. 
The Wolverine has utterly devoured you, making up for three weeks of torment in one night. Though he’s not all bad as he feeds you noodles from chopsticks as you lay on his muscled hair laden thighs. 
When Logan had suggested food, you’d had to stop him from eating Wontons from your belly button as none of your holes were currently operational. 
The two of you have dressed, though that is a strong use of the word as you’re wearing only his button down and him only his underwear. 
You’re lazing on the couch watching reruns of Friends as your bed sorely needs fresh sheets and a new base. Poor Wade, you’d have to replace it before you move out. Like he could read your mind, Logan begins. 
“I found a new place, its nothing fancy but its got four walls and no roommates.” You smile at him around your mouthful of noodles as he takes his own bite.
Sitting up you smile. “That’s great news, Lo.”
“I uh- wanted to see, if you’d wanna come with me.”
You can’t help your grin. 
fin.
I am currently posting this at the airport before my flight. I love you all! 💖
939 notes · View notes
hwan-g · 3 months ago
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( 𝑻𝑬𝑬𝑻𝑯 ) ୧ ⠁
ೀㅤ۪ pairing. biker/drug dealer! chris x fem! reader : genre. age gap, dark romance, angst, smut : warnings. read at your own risk — mdni ! use of pet names, smoking, explicit sexual content, possessiveness, obsession, severe anger issues, violence, flawed characters that make mistakes : word count. 10.1k
ೀㅤ۪ synopsis. he was born with a gun in his hand, a ticking time bomb in his head. it’s been counting down since, the brain has festered into a landmine, a battlefield. no. peace is a foreign word. reserved only for you.
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PROLOGUE.
You cannot begin telling this story if you don’t first punch your own mouth. His gun, safety off, shiny and awful in the dead of night, the barrel of it pointing at your temple, a patient irony. It’s three in the morning and the red bleeding is sweet, oh so sweet.
There’s no love without violence, sweetheart, and did you know? He loves you so much, he’ll kill you. He loves you so much, you’re calling for help. Of course, it cannot be your voice, and if he gives you another chance, you’ll say everything differently this time around like—this bed is where he fucked me slow and rough, I think he was trying to bury some part of himself in me, and here, you see, the sheets smell just like his cigarettes, and this, here, is where he brushed my hair, just like this, so careful, but never mind the cracks in the mirror, the shattering is always the same, it has nothing to do with me, everything to do with him.
You hear his voice in your head all the time, haunting, your dutiful ghost; he’s there when you sleep, he’s there when you wake up, a nightmare concealed as a daydream, and you want him to do his worst, you want it to hurt, to scar, to be a permanent mark, because it’d mean you’d loved him; that love has been here and it was ugly and terrifying, and you survived it, even if you could never survive him.
Upstairs, the bed is unmade, stained with wine and your climax. Chris is gentle in all the ways he is not, which is to say he kisses you with teeth, he holds you with fists. You saw him on a black motorcycle once, an impressionable girl in a dark place, lost, searching for purpose, and he looked like a knight in shining armor, he looked like hell and heaven combined, a savior and captor, and you’d wished to crawl inside, to make a home out of him. You’d smiled and waited, you've always waited, you always will.
When he came, he was so cruel, he burned brighter than fire—you believed in him; after all, how can a man be so consumed by flame and not put his own hands around his neck, not succumb to his charcoal painted flesh? You were a fool, and he saw it, and you paid the price for it. He wants to keep you forever now, he’s never going to let you go, do you understand that? Why, why, why did you go ahead and do that?
For what? A scrap of metal heart and a ribcage, bone and muscle?
What about your own heart?
What about the eternal winter residing when he's not there?
ACT ONE: before.
He smiles and the world expands. His face blooms into a thousand different shades; the pink of his mouth curving, the red of his cheeks rounding, the dark of his brow straightening. A stop motion picture, the beginning of autumn, the turn of the leaves, the crisp air replacing warm winds.
His fingers weave through yours, interlocking, thumb running down index, mouth a breath over yours, so close he could graze your lips if he wanted to. You look between you, noses touching, then back to brown so deep you imagine raw honey gliding, real amber in the face of the sun.
Chris. You whisper his name in your head. It sounds like a secret. Your best kept one. Chris, Chris, Chris . . .
There’s blood on his shirt underneath the leather jacket. There’s a loaded gun on his belt strap, a knife tucked in his boot, a razor engraved on the ring he wears, and he’s not so careful with it, and you don’t think you want him to be. You assume it’s normal to want this—if his blood mixes with yours, well, isn’t that enough to take you with him? Isn’t that almost a wedding ceremony, isn’t that almost a declaration of war?
Do you think I’m crazy, you think to yourself. Do you think I’m crazy, would you want me if I am, would you want me, do you want me? You don’t dare say it out loud, but he’s staring at you as if he could eat your face raw—a demon, a demon—and shove the rest of you in the deep freezer, so you decide to bite him instead. You get on your tippy toes and nuzzle into his neck, biting the soft flesh underneath his earlobe.
He doesn’t exclaim, not a hiss, not a gasp, not even the slightest of inhales. He withstands the pain you inflict him, and you feel his desire digging into the inside of your thigh. His arms reach out around you, pulling you to him in that all-encompassing way, and you’re left to witness what can only be the slow consumption of your beating heart. His bike groans under the sudden weight, but he’s got you. You don’t think, then, of what that entails.
“(Y/N).”
The night sky comes into focus, all dark indigo, starless, and the streetlights flicker bright, sounding the late hour. The light never seems to go anywhere near you two, it refuses, it hesitates, and back then you found it all so mysterious and exciting, ignoring the warning bells, swallowing down the instinct of danger, danger, danger.
“Yes?”
Your eyes fall shut at having his rough palm grabbing hold of your face, thumb tilting your head upwards to meet his sizzling gaze. You hold onto his wrist for support, your body floating, mourning the loss of his body heat against the biting cold. He notices this, and moves to shrug off his huge jacket, wearing it over your shoulders in one swift move.
“What will I do with you?” It’s a plea. A threat. Both.
Chris looks down at you, and the earth shakes to its core. He looks down at you, and you don’t want to be alone anymore. You want this, this, this, every day, all the time, forever. You wish to wake up in bed next to him and know he’s yours, wake up and not wish for some other dream so you can find him again. To be awake and want to be awake.
His big hands caress your face, sink into your hair. He stares at you intently, as if he’s holding back from saying whatever’s turning over and over in his head. It can switch so fast, that look, faster than you can blink, a clipped temper, a quick anger. 
You’ve only seen it once, and you’d been quickly turned away. He’s got people watching everywhere, he’s been haunted by darkness and shadows long before you served him that drink in The Bloody Muse. You almost forget about returning to your shift, time slipping away, responsibilities fading whenever you’re near him.
Seungmin will be missing you, Felix will be looking for his good luck charm before he goes on stage. Midnight means you return from dreamland. Still, you have a couple of minutes left. Enough to hear the gunshot, enough to panic and let out a scream and have Chris slap a hand over your mouth, willing you with his gaze to calm the fuck down.
You breathe hard, stiff with fear. He appears perfectly composed, relaxed even. It’s then you realize who he is and what he does, and how this is probably his or his club’s doing. There’s misdirected anger in you ricocheting on all corners. You want to bite his fingers, you want to demand an explanation. You work here, dammit, and he’s kept his bullets away from this place so far, for what you thought was your sake.
Chris was a handsome hypocrite, a skilled liar.
“It’s not what you think,” he says simply, removing his palm from your mouth, shaking his wrist off. “Don’t overreact.”
All of his previous warmth disappeared, instead, the cold, menacing man you know very little of and have never dealt with taking its place. You understand he has to be this way, but you hate that he has to act like this with you too. Because of your reaction. Because you couldn’t keep your cool.
Silly girl.
“What is it, then?” A naive question, so many untrue answers he could give you.
He passes a finger over the cut on your cheek. The cut he gave you. You lean into his touch, desperate for anything, hungry, starving, even. You don’t want him to leave, but he won’t stay. You hate, hate, fucking hate this part.
“Something that needed to be taken care of,” he chooses the words carefully, you can tell, and you decide that, if he wants you to stay in the dark, you will. You have to.
You love him.
“Someone,” you correct, quietly.
Chris smiles, mouth curving, and his hand moves to tuck a stray strand of hair behind your ear. The touch is tender, affectionate. Something inside you cracks and caves, it melts. You would withstand too, you think then. You would deal with anything, put up with everything, for that single touch. For that one single look.
“Someone,” he echoes, his own voice smooth blue velvet, an overture. “You should get inside.”
A sharp pang of bitterness in your chest. “I should?” Because I questioned you?
He drops his hand, and brings his arms over his broad chest, crossing them there. Closed off and done for the night. You unconsciously take a step back, hurt from the sudden change, whiplashed and upset.
“If you don’t want to be late,” he states matter-of-factly, but he says it in this kind of open tone, a mere suggestion rather than a complete dismissal. Yes. “Don’t look at me with those damned eyes, sweetheart, what can I do against them?”
You wipe at your cheeks, and try to fix the mess, try to smooth over, to make right again. “I’m not, I’m sorry.”
“Come here.” A command. 
You go like a kicked puppy, your leash short, your loyalty unshaken, despite the scolding. He reaches out and slams you to his chest, a hand pressing the back of your head there, and you inhale him, all of him, memorizing his scent, trying to hold on to whatever parts of him you can in case he decides to never come back for you again. It’s pathetic and it’s pitiful, but this is what you know. This is all you know.
“You’re my girl, you know that?” He mumbles in your hair, his breath hot on your scalp. You lean into him, wrapping your arms around him, and almost cry yourself dry from the prospect of ever losing him. 
You’d die. You’d die, it’s entirely unthinkable. It’s the worst pain imaginable. 
“You’re my girl, baby. I’d never let anything happen to you. Do you believe me?”
You nod your head yes. He squeezes you against him tighter. You feel so safe, then, the safest you ever have. Of course you believe him. You’d believe his every word, you’d follow him into anything, blindly, willingly. You want to please him. To make him happy.
He grabs a fistful of your hair, suddenly and pulls you back to look at him. His eyes are manic, black. “I need your words, (Y/N). Do you believe me?”
“Yes. Yes,” you yelp, your mouth falling open from the sting.
In your stomach, something lights on fire. You rub your legs together, trying to relieve it. He glances down between you, curses. 
You started it. 
The descend. 
It was your fault. 
He’d never touched you so savagely before that night, he’d never shown the same need you had. That he could want you the same way you do. . .You felt so giddy you could squeal, so happy you would gladly reduce yourself to schoolgirl-and-her-stupid-little-fantasies.
“Is this fucking getting you wet?” And he pulls harder, tilting your head all the way. His tongue comes out to lick from the base of your neck all the way up to your lips. You’re on fire, you’re on fire! You moan hoarsely and try to keep your footing. “You like me being rough with you, sweetheart?”
You’re too embarrassed to respond. So, you guide his hand under your skirt. Chris curses again, more lewdly this time, nasty things, words you’ve never heard him say before. Oh, this fucking cunt, fuck me . . . So goddamn wet, baby girl, I bet it tastes so sweet. Will you let me? Will you let me have a taste right here?
“I— I have to go back, I’m—” but his fingers are already dipping into your underwear, his palm cupping your burning sex.
“You’re not going anywhere,” he growls into your ear. “You hear me?”
You jump, and look around, paranoid. He grabs your face and forces your eyes back on him. He’s got that crazed look again, the one that lets you know he’ll stop at nothing to have this. Out here, in the open. And he’ll fucking make it worth it. You succumb, too flushed, too bothered, unbecoming in his arms, as he backtracks you into the wall next to the exit door, and gets on his knees, tugging your undergarments down with both hands, hooking your leg over his shoulder.
Your fingers dig into his hair, dark eyes staring up at you. In your mercy, kneeling in front of you. Do you love me? Is this you, saying it? Is this your way of showing it? You caress the soft strands, staring back, overwhelmed. The beginning of the end for you. You’ll never escape him after this. He’d never accept it. You’d never survive it.
When his face gets lost in between your legs, you almost collapse, your entire body shaking with the forceful need to come. He licks and laps and sucks your clit into his mouth, and it’s too much, it’s fucking unbearable, it’s incredible, it’s so much, it’s everything, you want more, you want him to stop, more more more, oh my God, please, please—you’re being so loud there’s no way they haven’t heard that, that Seungmin hasn’t, he’s really only around the corner, and what about everyone else, oh God, oh God, you’re close, you’re so fucking close, if he could just—oh, fuck yes, fuck yes . . .
Chris pulls away, his lower face glistening with your juices. You whine at the loss of contact, your pussy clenching around nothing, aching. 
“Don’t fucking come,” and he’s getting up, he’s unzipping his pants, and you’re eager to help, you’re eager to reach inside and grab him, free him. “I have to get inside you, baby.” 
His cock is standing rock hard, angry. He wraps one hand around your neck, and the other slides over his length once, twice, you’re so entranced you can’t look away; he’s so big, he’s so erect, and you want him so fucking much, you’d do anything right then, you’d be anything.
He turns you around, and you barely have time to get a good grip on the wall, before he’s entering you with one long, violent thrust. You scream out, pressing your temple on the cool brick, allowing him to take whatever he needs. His fingers squeeze around your neck, tighter and tighter still, until all you see is stars, until all you feel is him slamming into you, his hot body over yours, your mixed moans of pleasure.
I could come to this image forever . . . Look at this fucking ass, you beautiful fucking girl, I never want to stop . . . fucking tear you apart, lay inside you . . . Taking cock so well, made for me, made for me, made for this . . .
His movements turned sloppy and primal, reaching the end, and you, forever following him, forever after him. He was no more than beast, pistoling into you with vigor, all animal, your sides bruised from the way he was holding onto you, but you loved it, you wished he’d never stop, exploding into a million pieces, coming apart under him in vibrant streaks of color and tears. His head dropped on your lower back, whispering there she is, there you go, sweetheart, there you are, my baby, as he gave one, two, three final thrusts, before reaching down and removing himself from your soaking cunt, flipping you around, and forcing you on your knees, his cock in his hand, on the verge of climax.
You open your mouth wide, and he shoves in, fucking into it no more than three seconds before you feel his cum hit the back of your throat, warm and salty. 
“You fucking vex me, woman. Look at the sight of you.”
You breathe through your nose slowly, as he grabs your face and makes sure you swallow, fingers rough, before pulling out at once, tucking his softening length back in his jeans, and lifting you up by the waist.
He fixes your skirt over your ass, and smoothes over the edges, making sure no indecent part of you shows. When you catch his eye, he winks at you. You bubble over like a soda can, spilling everywhere, and he chuckles low and raspy, before reaching for your hand and pulling you flush against him, trailing kisses on your shoulder, your knuckles, your cheeks, your brow.
This is the Chris that looks at you and sees you. The one you love, the one you miss the most when he’s gone. This Chris comes out only when you’re alone, when he’s forgotten what else there is, what he has to do after you go back to the club. For now, he loves you, no violence, no hunger.
You almost weep at the sight of him.
“I’ll talk to your boss,” he murmurs, pecking your lips over and over.
You giggle, and he twirls you once, your arms extending as you try to go towards the door. He pulls you back in at the last minute, handsome, glowing, smiling.
“I haven’t lied to you,” he says, and half of you doesn’t miss the solemn way in which he says it. “I won’t let anyone touch you. Ever.”
You pause for a split second, still remaining in the post bliss of your orgasm, but then you’re moving again, slipping from his grasp, heading back to your drinks and suggestive conversations.
“I wouldn’t want to be touched by anyone else, Chris,” you retort, blowing him a kiss, and disappearing through the big black door, letting it close behind you.
You don’t see the way you leave him standing there, how he closes his eyes and has to breathe through the loss of you; how he drags his feet to go pick up his jacket from the floor. How he inhales your sweet smell, and instantly wants you back, a corpse in his arms that can’t go nowhere.
The corruption began when you told him your name. It invaded his bloodstream and blackened his mind.
He’d rather kill you than have you walk away from him like that.
ACT TWO: in the midst.
Chris fucks you with the purpose of possessing you.
There’s not a minute of peace when you are with him, he envelops all senses, he erases all other thoughts, until all you know is him, his touch, his cock. Months into sharing a bedroom, and coming apart underneath him every night, he’s never once mentioned that incident, the first one.
He’s never apologized for how he treated you, never brought it up. But he’s never once treated you the same since. Now that you live together, he gets to call all the shots, know your exact whereabouts, control what you wear, what you eat, how you come, how many times—he’s fucked you in places you never thought possible. He’s fucked you in front of people, shamelessly; on the banister, in the pool, on the kitchen counter and the office. Against walls and on the hood of his car, parked in the garage, Changbin, the road captain, working on his bike not a few steps away.
No one ever said anything to you, tried anything. They didn’t have a death wish, or they respected Chris too much. His influence was a testimony to his abilities. No one questioned him, but everyone obeyed him. They treated you like one of their own, they protected you when their sergeant would leave the house.
Other things—the shitload of drugs hidden in every trinket, every crevice, places you’d never think to check, and the meticulous way they deliver said product, how the trucks come in the middle of night, motorcycles deconstructed, filled to the brim with cocaine and sent to wherever, distributed to whatever unfortunate person. Chris never touched the trucks, you never saw him near them.
That was Minho’s job.
You spent entire days in bed after the deliveries, fucking, improvising stories of hunters and angels falling in love, how the hunter is always attracted to the angel’s light, how the angel forgives the hunter for his nature, and willingly dies by his axe. Chris bathes you and washes your hair with lavender, then carries you over to the vanity and brushes the strands with such care, you think he’s always loved you, in every life. That, perhaps, he was born loving you, and that this was predetermined; inescapable, inevitable.
He doesn’t sleep. He spends hours making love to you, feeding you; he works for even longer, meetings with the president, meetings with the suppliers, mountains of paperwork that you see him burn afterwards in the fireplace downstairs. If he does close his eyes, it’s flitting, twenty minutes here, an hour there; after he comes down from the high of being buried inside you, after a shower, at night as he watches you sleep, you pretend to close your eyes and feel him get comfortable on your stomach, his lips kissing any spot of naked skin he can find. When he does drift off, you lift your head and observe a man such as Chris Bahng sleep, how he does it, so unaware and off guard, so unlike his usual self.
It’s endearing. You love him the most when you find him in those positions, so peaceful, and a part of you thinks, ashamed—at least no one is dying by his hand tonight. His soul is something you think about a lot, the wretched, poisoned thing, paying for his actions. You asked him once; what keeps him up, why is he so unable to fall asleep?
“Nightmares,” he mumbled against your neck, teasing the sensitive flesh there. “Every time I close my eyes . . . someone is waiting for me. It’s always different, but they always end up dead. Everyone I care about— you. When you’re in my dreams, I can’t stand it. I’m always the one holding the gun. You’re always falling, or— fucking . . . walking away from me. When I wake up, I always check if you’re next to me,” his hand travels to yours, interlocking your fingers. He avoids your gaze. “If you’re not, it’s . . . it gets hard to breathe. I think I’ve killed you, that I’ve finally fucking lost it and, and done it, and the walls close in around me . . . Christ, I sound fucking insane.”
It’s difficult for you to say anything after that, so you slowly make your descend at the foot of the bed, making sure to kiss every inch of him, to let him know you’re right there, that he’ll never lose you, that the day it’ll come to that you’d rather he does kill you, that he does make that decision for you, because you’d have clearly gone mad; you cannot see yourself beyond him, cannot see a future where he’s not there, even as a fixture, even as someone who’s loved you once, a very long time ago. A friend, a lover, it’s all the same, and it’s all him, and you’ll always get whatever version of him you can.
You know you sound crazy, and maybe you are, maybe you deserve each other in that way, but it’s irrelevant to this story. This is not for the faint of heart—loving someone like him does not come easy, it’s not one of those ridiculous words—fate or destiny—or anything simple like that; loving him is hard fucking work, it’s torment and agony, it’s excruciating, and it’s a choice you make every single day, because you need it to live. An addiction, perhaps, though you’ve never been an addict.
You know this is how it feels. The needle in the vein. The snow on your nose. The smoke in your lungs. The burning, the boiling. This is it. When you take his cock in your mouth, when you hear that broken gasp fall from his lips, the familiar groan, the guttural sounds from the back of his throat, and how he grabs the back of your head, forcing you down to the hilt of him; when you’re so full you might as well inhale him entirely, become part of his crotch, his most private part, the one he keeps to himself—you think this is what it’s like to wait on someone’s steps, a beggar, a desperate girl giving her heart on a silver platter for the one in the house, the one holding the reins.
Chris is kind and generous. He opens the door, he allows you to come inside. There’s light and warmth here, but there’s also shadows in the corners, there’s locked doors and no one else around. It’s a lonely house, but he’s right there, all you need, all you’ll ever need. He welcomes you with open arms.
You get lost in the labyrinth of him.
“What the fuck was I doing before you, sweetheart? Who was I, who was I without this fucking mouth, fucking hell, baby . . .”
It’s a savage act, some would call it cannibalism, but it’s only been known as love to you. Your insides are aflame, roasting a pretty crackling orange, when he finally comes on your tongue, his hips lifting, eyes shut tight, your head in his big hands, keeping you there, making sure you’re swallowing every last drop. You do. You do. You‘re licking circles around the shiny, swollen tip one moment, and he’s got you bouncing on it the next, manhandling your ass, facing you away from him, wrapping muscular arms around your waist, ravaging your back with his teeth, biting and soothing, putting out the forest fires himself, braving the danger.
A devouring hunger. Stripped to its most primal state. Everything within you is jumping. No one talks about this—screwing for the sake of the flesh. You need to come, and keep coming, and he does too. There’s no other thought, no other reason. He’d mount you if he could, knot in you for hours, pump you full of his seed. If this is the way it’s meant to be, then let it be. Let him fuck you until he’s satiated. Let him fuck you into your last dying breath.
But his words. You want those for yourself. He whispers them in your ears, his mouth everywhere, the hotness of his breath, the raspiness of his voice—just as lost as you. This is how you need him.
“This cunt is mine, fucking mine, mine . . . Say it,” he drills into you, skin slapping on skin, sweat like water, and your tears, so uncontrollable, so many— “Say it, damn you.”
“Yours,” you comply, your arm reaching out to wrap around his neck. He kisses your shoulder, he bites, he marks. “All of me. Forever.”
“Swear it. Don’t ever leave me.”
“No . . . no . . .” You moan loudly as he reaches deep inside, to spots that make you see stars.
He shoves your face in the mattress, and gets on top of you, pistoling his length into you, hard and fast, chasing after the high he craves. You cry out and take it. The pain is so intense, bleeding into pleasure, overwhelming your body. You can’t feel your own heartbeat anymore, only Chris, only his pounding.
“Such a goddamn slut. Look at you,” he slaps your ass once, “fucking look at you,” twice, three times, four. You sob into the sheets, grab onto them. He’s relentless, he’s so close, you’re so close— “Why are you crying, huh?” He pulls you by the hair hard, lifting your head. You gulp down air, you’re glutinous, deprived. “Did you need my cock that bad? Have I not fucked your needy little hole enough?”
“You have, you have, please . . .”
Let go for me, sweetheart, fuck, you feel so fucking good . . . Never get tired of this pussy, taking me so well, baby, so fucking well, come on, one more, one more, that’s it . . .
Coming felt like the gates of heaven liquifying inside you. Your orgasm tore through you so savagely, you forgot how to breathe for several moments, your limbs unresponsive and extremely sore. Only thing you could do was convulse under Chris’ massive body, and let him ride his own, his nails digging into raw flesh, voice groggy and incredibly deep after three rounds of sex.
“Did I hurt you? Did I hurt you, baby?”
You hadn’t realized you were still crying ugly, terrible sobs. You immediately missed the weight of him as he got off you at once and flipped you on your back, panic-stricken honey eyes searching your face, your chest, any part of you he might’ve harmed.
“Where does it hurt? What have I done?” He kisses your temple, your eyes, he tastes your tears. He’s so worried you almost feel guilty for not responding. “(Y/N), I need you to tell me, sweetheart, I can’t see it, I can’t—is it your—”
“I’m fine,” you pacify him, placing your hands on either side of his face. You’re still breathing abnormally fast, but so is he. The room is spinning. “You didn’t hurt me anywhere, I’m fine, Chris.”
“But if you were, you’d tell me, yeah?”
He was so handsome, so handsome when he loved you.
“I would.”
His gaze was piercing, honeycomb giving way to molasses. His hands were trailing off again, doing their own thing, what they knew best; how to please you. His thumb on your clit, rubbing soft circles, your creamy entrance making lewd sounds that had the man over you growing impossibly hard again.
“And what about this?” A warm, tingly sensation grew low in your belly. “Does this hurt?”
You trap his hand with your thighs, and he smiles. You smile back.
“Maybe a little,” you lie, stretching.
He doesn’t let up. His fingers slip inside again, his other hand moving on himself, veiny and sure. Chris masturbating to the sight of getting you off is perhaps the hottest thing you’ve ever seen. Your body is a tool he’s acquainted well with, and has made his sole expertise. So many hours on this bed, learning each other naked.
“Your cunt says something else,” he smirks, pumping his fist over his girth slowly, deliberately, growling low in the process, making you wetter, making you want, want, want. A chain of chemical reactions, you’ve become. “I wanna eat you out, (Y/N), you think you’ll be able to handle that?”
Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
“I’ve been thinking about it all day,” he mumbles on your stomach, placing a kiss there, and traveling down, nose dangerously close to where you want him most. “Your face when you come apart on my tongue—I wish I could die between your legs, baby.”
“Don’t say that,” you hide your face in embarrassment, as you feel him get in position, opening your legs wide, staring shamelessly at your swollen pussy.
“I’ll say whatever the fuck I want,” he licks it once, tongue pressing flat on your clit and flicking, and you’re fucking gone. You’re writhing, trying to get away, moaning so loudly the whole house must’ve heard you. “This is mine, you’re fucking mine, and you’re so goddamn beautiful.”
He doesn’t get to work much on you, you’re coming apart in minutes. You’re so overstimulated, your legs are shaking uncontrollably, the muscles twitching. He doesn’t seem to care though, because he’s fingering all of your cream on his cock and finishing himself off, an ungodly sight, something out of a renaissance painting, the most explicit one, all well defined abs and veins popping on his neck, mouth formed into a perfect silent scream, as he pumps, and pumps and shoots on your thighs, white thick streaks, hot and sticky.
There’s a knock on the door, a throat clearing.
“Bahng,” Changbin’s voice. “It’s important.”
The room drops in the negatives. You see the abrupt change on your boyfriend’s face, his expression freezing over, his jaw clenching, moving, as he stares at the door like he wants to break it, and then beat his friend’s face in. You get on your elbows and whisper softly, “It’s okay,” to which he ignores.
“What the fuck do you want?” He calls out, furious, getting off the bed and grabbing a pair of discarded jeans from the floor.
“Meeting in ten,” his captain replies, and then there’s footsteps shuffling away.
“I need to shower, anyway,” you try to lighten the mood, reaching over the bed for your shirt. “We’ve been holed up here for hours. I don’t even know what time it is.”
“Why do you need to know?”
You don’t let his tone ruin what you’ve been building for the entire day. He was perfectly fine up until two seconds ago, it has nothing to do with you. You repeat this to yourself as you move around the room, clipping the hair away from your face, wiping the makeup from your cheeks.
“It’s really alright, Chris, you’ll only be gone for a bit.”
He ignores this as well. What he does—he takes two big strides towards you and grabs your face roughly. You meet his eyes, dark and menacing, and keep your cool. You don’t let his anger scare you, you’ve seen it all before. It has nothing to do with you, it has nothing to do with you.
“All you need to know, is I’m still in this fucking room and you smell like my cum, and there’s a lot of fucking things I can do in ten minutes,” he snarls, patting your hair down, bringing your hips together. “All you need to know is you have no use for clocks, because you’re not going anywhere. Am I fucking clear?”
You try not to let your body take over your mind, as it’s happened many times before. He knows your weak spot, he knows how good he can make it feel, and he uses it to his advantage any chance he gets. 
You will not be manipulated. You will stop falling for his words.
“You’re going to regret saying that,” you retorted, suddenly sad. “You’re only being like this because you want to stay.”
To that, he visibly calms, he mellows. “Of course I do. I never wanna be anywhere else. I wanna fuck you until you’re on the verge of passing out, and then I want to take you in the water and make it all better,” he tries to kiss you but you turn your head. There are no words to describe the hurt etched on his face, then. “You’re the only thing that matters, (Y/N). The only true thing.”
“Why do you treat me like this, Chris? Hot, then cold, again and again.”
You might’ve as well slapped him. He untangles himself from you at once, and walks over to the closet for a shirt. Your stomach drops. You definitely said something you shouldn’t have. Who knows how he’ll be now, what he might do. You might not see him for days. He knows how to hurt you and keep hurting you. One coin, two sides.
Nevertheless, you have to know. He never gives you any answers. You’ve given away so much to be here, to be with him. He walks the thin line of having something like that, a line between holding you—broken glass on his shaking palm, recklessly picking up the pieces when they fall, unafraid of the blood, of the cutting and maiming, and the repercussions afterwards.
His self destructiveness has never been more prominent before. Now it’s all you see.
“One true thing, Chris. Please.”
He looked so severe, the set of his jaw, the glint in his eye. When he punches the closet door closed and smashes the mirror with his fist, you don’t think he’s quite there in the room with you anymore. He’s in that faraway place again, in that hole, so hard to find.
Of course, the blood. The blood is always there. It’s been there from the start.
He motions for you not to move, his hair a mess sticking in all directions. Such violence and it’s all within him, there’s nothing you can do to pull it out of him. Only when it lashes out, only when he becomes the weapon.
“Don’t fucking come near me,” he barks, and you stop, you remain perfectly still, your gaze locked to his knuckles, bleeding profusely, staining the carpet. “I will never hurt you,” he rasps, and there’s iron will behind his words. “I will never fucking hurt you, I’d sooner die. I’d sooner fucking die . . .” His eyes fall closed, his breathing deepens, and you’re pretty sure you only have a few seconds before this all goes to shit.
You grab your clothes, and shoes, and where’s your phone, where’s your stupid phone—
“Get out of here. Get out of here now.”
You bite your lip until you taste copper. You won’t cry. You won’t fucking cry. This is not your fight. This is not your problem.
“I love you,” you squeeze out, before you throw the door open and spill down the stairs, the beast bellowing behind you, “GET THE FUCK OUT, GET THE FUCK OUT.”
“What the hell’s going on?” Changbin puts his hands out, grabs your shoulders. 
Felix doesn’t even have to look at you; he curses, and climbs the stairs three at a time, calling for backup. The demolition has already begun.
You won’t cry. You refuse, you refuse, you refuse.
There’s no love without violence, sweetheart, and did you know?
ACT THREE: intermission.
In a fight, he’s devastating.
You’d told him time and time again, none of it meant anything, not a thing, just some mindless flirting to get better tips, it was part of your job, it was silly, little, nothing, nothing at all. You’d warned him against coming inside the Muse. It’d only cause trouble.
He would only cause trouble. It’s why he had Minho permanently positioned in there, it’s how the club was under Strays payroll, it was his excuse for visiting that night.
Making sure the product was being distributed properly. Keeping an eye out. Bullshit. You were so mad at him. He never showed up for these things, they went through other people. Chris was too important for it. And yet, here he was, disrupting your workflow, beating your regulars into a pulp.
You didn’t recognize anything from the man he was the last time you saw him. He had none of the tenderness, none of the ember in his gaze, no softness; only sharp, obliterating cruelty and the gun on his strap. His fists were bloody, his anger palpable.
Your tables had emptied out, unpaid. You were so angry.
“Try it, motherfucker,” your boyfriend smashed the poor guy’s head against the hardwood floor, repeatedly, in succession, until your voice was scratched raw from shouting for someone to stop him. “Try getting near her again, let me see you. Walk a straight fucking line to my girl, see if you get to live another goddamn day.”
“I didn’t know she was your girl, man! I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” The man had been reduced to tears, his face so beat up you could barely make out his features under all the blood.
Minho stood in one corner, observing passively, while Seungmin tried to keep his friend back, ever the security guard. Chris was gone, though. There was no way to bring him back. There’d be a death tonight, and all of you would have to pretend it never happened. You think about that. About the first time you lied for him. For them.
“Bet you wanted to fuck her, hm?” He pulls his head up, only to bring him to his knee, kicking his nose broken, and throwing him back on the floor, chairs wobbling and falling over in the storm of him. “That’s what you’ve been coming for, isn’t it, you sick fuck?”
The whimpering is what did it for you. “I didn’t know. Please! Please!” You couldn’t just stand aside; you couldn’t let this go on.
The stage was empty, the band long finished with their set, now sitting at the counter over at the bar, glancing curiously your way. It was infuriating how none of them wanted to get involved. It was too late for this. Too fucking late, and you were tired.
So, you walked over to where Chris was stomping on the man’s ribs, making sure you were in his line of vision. When you got as close as you could, you called out his name. Nothing. You tried again.
“Chris. Chris.”
“I’ll fucking kill him, baby, he’ll never look at you twice, he won’t be able to, I swear it to you.” In what dark, dark place have you crawled into, my love? How do I get there?
You try to keep your voice steady, reasonable. From the corner of your eye, you see Seungmin shaking his head at you, motioning you to step back, away, out from the line of fire. 
“I don’t want that, Chris. I want you to let him go.”
“What?”
“And then I want you to go home.”
In retrospect, you should’ve heeded the bouncer’s advice. This version of Chris does not belong to you, it has nothing to do with feeling or logical thought. It festered in some terror-stricken hole he’d found as a child, and grew into a large open wound, the heart tree of all inhumanity in him. You’d have to carve it out if you’re to ever save him. But to carve it . . . No. You couldn’t. Not you.
Two terrible things happened that night, things that you’d quicker forget than let yourself remember fully.
His calloused hand attacked your neck, wrapping around it with such brutal force, it knocked the air out of you. Immediately, four men jumped to your rescue, circling you like hounds, yelling at Chris, trying to snatch him away from you.
“Stand the fuck down,” he snarled at them, never taking his black eyes off you. “You think I’d actually fucking hurt her? She can take this, can’t you, sweetheart?”
You nod, willing yourself to breathe through your panic, to combine this touch with the one he uses when he makes you feel good, the pain only pleasurable, only flitting, almost enjoyable. He watches you do this, and something flashes in his expression, a recognition, a moment of clarity. It’s gone as soon as it arrives.
“Don’t ever tell me what the fuck to do, you understand? I’m doing this for you, so you can be safe,” he’s never raised his voice at you, and he’s not doing it now, either. You’d take the screaming over this eerie calmness, this polite rage.
This is the monster under your bed, the demon in your closet. You can’t do anything about this, you don’t even know what’s hiding there.
“I didn’t ask for that, Chris,” you manage to say, placing a hand over the one on your throat. No one speaks, no one moves.
“You’ve no fucking idea what’s good for you, do you?”
“Clearly,” you reply, calmly, bitterly.
You see him swallow, and fight with the shadows clouding his judgment. You see the split decision—and the way he shoves you away, the way he refuses to look at you any longer. 
“Have it your way,” he snaps. He’s still so beautiful to you, even like this, the way a severe thunderstorm is, the way gray clouds can cover an entire sunny day in minutes. Not despite, but in spite.  “But this fucker dies today.”
In a split second, your life—an infinite whirlwind, a dizzying dance with no end in sight—it changes, it shifts, because—Chris takes his gun out, a single click, and shoots the man on the floor beside you. All it takes. A blink of an eye. No one seems to get what happened, probably accustomed to the death looming over, but you—you’re covered in blood now, blood that’s not yours, and you’ve never seen someone die before. You don’t even think it registers in your mind, really. You just stare, and stare, and hope that he’ll get up and go to a hospital, because he looks terrible.
“Don’t feel too bad, princess,” Felix whispers somewhere from behind you. “He was a registered sex offender. Boss found out today. Chris had to do it.”
“Chris is not a hit man,” you say mechanically, paralyzed, something else looking through your eyes, inhabiting your body. 
Where are you? Where’d you go?
“No, he’s not,” he agrees. You faintly feel a hand on your shoulder. You don’t react. “But he’s the one that’ll always get the job done. No matter what.”
This is the second thing. Learning that your boyfriend might be more of a collection of ghosts than an actual person. That the blood sprayed on your legs could be anyone’s, could be yours. The thing is, you weren’t truly scared before, but you are now.
And the terrifying truth—you still love him. You love him, you love him, it beats as sure as your heart, it fills you with guilt and despair, because . . . you don’t even really care. You should, surely. This is a horrible situation. But Chris is standing a mere few feet away from you, and he wants nothing to do with you, not when he’s like this, and somehow that’s more severe, that’s—that’s the real tragedy.
“Take care of it,” he cracks his neck, addressing no one in particular. Any of these men would do anything for him, for the club. Honor and loyalty, above all. “Bring me the books. There’s still business.”
Minho and Seungmin get to work, while a third person goes in the back. You don’t know who, you don’t see them, your gaze hasn’t moved from Chris. You whisper his name again, like back in the alley, over and over, and hope for him to turn around, to look and see, to dance with you, to shake you and make you spill. But he doesn’t. You don’t think he ever will again.
You’re one of them now. He didn’t keep you away, he failed, and so now you know.
“And for fuck’s sake, someone take her the hell away from here.”
You kickstart. “No, I won’t go.” You’re here, you’re here, where would I go if you’re here?
He won’t even spare you a second, a moment. He’s walking towards the bar, he’s lighting a cigarette, his hands are still raw and bleeding. The club is closed for the night, you’re no longer needed. Just another witness, just another person in the room. He can make you feel so small, so incredibly small, like you never mattered at all.
Felix steps up and offers to drive you.
“To the house,” Chris instructs firmly, skimming through pages of numbers. “Stay with her until I come back.”
There’s tears stinging your eyes. You fight not to let anyone see them. There’s so much movement around you, it’s making your head spin. Red, fuschia, orange, yellow, blue—the lights never stop turning, they bleed over everything, a dream, a technicolor dream. You lift your hand to your cheek to confirm you’re still real, that you’re still breathing.
You’re sick to your stomach. Not enough. Not enough.
“Why are you sending me away?” You try again, foolishly hoping he’s going to pay you any mind, give you any explanation.
“Come on, (Y/N),” Felix mumbles close to your ear. “You don’t wanna be here for the clean up, trust me.”
Why are you sending me away, why are you sending me away . . . You don’t remember the ride to the club house. You don’t remember much of anything after the click of that gun. It echoes. The man’s eyes roll to the back of his head, a loop of red, fuschia, orange, yellow, blue, redfuschiaorangeyellowblueredfuschiaorangeyellowblue
Someone screams.
ACT FOUR: after.
“I’ve never had a moment’s peace.”
Shirtless, with bandages running down his chest and over his shoulder, he looks like a tortured man returned from war. Burned. Turned inside out.
He was born with a gun in his hand, a ticking time bomb in his head. It’s been counting down since, the brain has festered into a landmine, a battlefield. No. Peace is a foreign word. Reserved only for you.
You listen, you let yourself become the body he loves. You can’t find it in you to be angry at him, not anymore.
“How can I hold a thing like you in my hands and not break it? When you asked me for the truth . . . I couldn’t think of anything, (Y/N), not a single fucking thing,” he wraps a towel around your head, sure, capable hands pulling you up and helping you out of the bathtub. “What I feel for you is poisonous, it’s disturbing. You don’t want that. You shouldn’t want that. It’s not what you deserve.”
“You’re saying all this like you’re saying goodbye,” you whisper, letting him dry your skin, noticing the way he won’t allow himself to linger too long.
You see his mouth curve, his brow furrow. A strange image. It’s almost as if . . .
“I’ve only ever been a monster. A pathetic fucking excuse of a man, and I cannot keep you caged, I can’t keep being selfish with you,” when he’s once again met with your silence, he circles around you, hides behind your back. “You’re incredible, you know that? Other girls would’ve been running for the hills, but not you,” when he lets your hair fall, there’s a horrifying sound, like the earth ripping apart, the heavens falling—
Chris is crying.
Chris is crying and something is very, very wrong. Nothing feels right. He won’t let you turn around. His hands hold you still, his face is buried between your shoulder blades, and he.won’t.let.you.turn.around.
Your eyes sting with the effort it takes not to break down alongside him.
“You just—won’t—fucking—leave. You won’t give up,” he sobs, and then he’s hugging you, he’s hugging you so tight your ribs burn, but it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because you never in a thousand years ever pictured this man crying, much less in front of you.
“I’m never giving up,” you reassure him, trying to soothe the boy trying to come out, to escape. “Because I love you. Whatever that means for you, Chris. I love you. I’m not going anywhere.”
He feel him shake his head, his hand wraps around your throat, bodies flush against each other. “I want you. I want you without . . .”
He lets go.
You turn to him, tilting your head, looking for his eyes. He exhales shakily, and moves away, grabbing his lighter from his back pocket, the cigarette from behind his ear. He rubs his face raw, then lights it, tip cherry red and burning fast, and he uses a hand to sit on the tiled floor, one arm resting on his knee. You get in front of him, towel forgotten, numb, completely numb.
“The club?” You say, quietly, so as not to anger the spirits, the demons. For no one else to hear but him. “You want to leave the club?”
He chuckles bitterly, and scratches his brow with a thumb, avoiding your gaze completely. Smoke swirls around you like snakes hunting for prey, an ominous presence. “I can’t even fucking say it. It’s been my whole life, my whole life. This fucking place—I know nothing else.”
“We‘ll figure it out. If you want out, we’ll find a way. Chris, these people look up to you, they trust you—”
“No, the fuck they don’t. That trust goes out the fucking window as soon as I walk. If I leave I’m a fucking traitor. If I leave I’ve betrayed all of them.”
You reach for his empty hand. He pulls away. You can’t ignore the Deja vu of this action. “And what about you?” You press, still. “What about what you’ve given for them, for their laws and rules? Your soul, Chris—”
He laughs, then, a proper laugh. When he does, finally, meet your eye, you see it all. The tortured, the choked, the repressed. It will never be easy. Ever. He might not ever make the decision, he might not ever leave. But dreaming about it . . . He has the right. No matter how unattainable, how unrealistic it seems to him. Why has no one ever shown him how?
“That battered, old thing,” he muses at his cigarette. “Lost it a long time ago, baby. Nothing there.”
“I don’t believe that.”
His smile breaks your heart. It looks so defeated, so devoid of any real happiness. “This is why I can’t let you go,” his fingers reach out and touch your bottom lip, the intention pure, nothing more than a reminder you’re still there, still his, but his gaze speaks of something darker, something you’ll never be able to quit.
“I got charges against me,” he says. “If I take the fall, the club remains. If I don’t, it all goes to hell.”
No. No. “Let it,” you choke out. “Let it! Chris, we can leave. We can go. Let’s just go. Please, I don’t—I can’t, I don’t want to lose—”
The biker puts his hands on your shoulders, shushes you, cradles you like a baby. You comply, a million different things bubbling inside you, ways to get him out, words you never said, everything you didn’t get to do yet. It’s not fair. It’s not fucking fair.
“Listen to me,” he continues, cigarette hanging limply from his mouth. “It’s already done. I’ll be gone for a long time, alright, and I need to make sure you’re fucking taken care of. Be a good girl for me, yeah? Listen to me, (Y/N).”
You couldn’t. You were crying too hard, you missed him already. What you two had was nothing but burrowed time, you knew this, and you still mistook it for forever. This was why he didn’t want to get too close. This is why, every time you tried to hold onto him, he slipped away like quicksand. It was all coming down to this.
“Sweetheart, come on, stop crying. You know who I am, yeah? Don’t worry about me, I can take care of myself. Listen to me—I’ve hidden money away. I want you to have it, okay? Use it to get yourself a place, somewhere safe. And don’t fucking go back to that club, I don’t wanna hear you went back, you hear me? Do something for yourself, go to school, I know how fucking smart you are, you’ll fucking blow them away. Hm?” He lifts your chin with his thumb, kisses your forehead, staying there, lingering for one, two, three seconds, before he pulls back and looks into your eyes, willing you to agree, to accept the money, to go on living without him. “I love you, alright? You got all of me, whatever’s still there, it’s all yours. Don’t wait for me. Live.”
“I don’t want to.”
He deflates, sighing heavily. “Don’t make this harder than it is, (Y/N). Do what I say.”
You shake your head, sniffling, wiping at your cheeks. “Not without you. I’m not doing any of that without you. I’ll wait. I’ll wait for you.”
His expression is pleading, his nails digging into your skin like he wants to crawl inside and change your mind. “It’ll be years, baby. Too many. You’ve no fucking idea the shit I’ve done. They got it all, some fucking snitch went and gave it all away. I’m turning myself in tomorrow, I’m not—I’m not fucking asking you to wait. You’re not. Find some lucky boy that’s got nothing to do with this life, and be normal. I never meant to bring you into all of this. You didn’t—didn’t fucking deserve it.”
“Just like that?” you ask, defeated. You could never picture yourself being with anyone else, no one at all.
After Chris, nothing. Alone. Lonely, forever.
He chuckles, crushing you to him, his arms strong, and steady, and home, home, home. “Just like that. I’ll wring his fucking neck out if he’s not good to you, though. I’ll always keep an eye out, always make sure you’re safe.”
“Can I hear it again?” Such a quiet request, barely anything.
He knew exactly what you meant. Your heart broke, fresh tears making their descent on your face. He wiped all of them away. He held you as if, if it was up to him, he’d never, ever let go.
“I love you. I love you so fucking much, sweetheart. You’ll be alright. I got you. I got you.”
You reach to where you know he keeps his gun. His hand flies out to stop you, gaze flaming with fear, with anger. Ash burns your arm, but you don’t even feel it. You’ve seen him use it; undo the safety, press down on the trigger. It was so easy for him. It’ll be easy for you too.
“Shoot me, then,” you bellow. “If you’re not gonna let me do it myself, shoot me! I don’t fucking want this, I’m not losing you, I’m not getting with someone else! What about me? You got this great plan—did you ever stop to think about what I’d want? If I’d be able to move on like how you’re expecting me to? I can’t just switch off my feelings for you, Chris, it doesn’t work like that, okay? I’ve gone through too much, I’ve seen too fucking much to just—to just—”
He wrestles you down, pinning your body on the floor, and getting on top of you, his smooth, cold gun resting on top of your heart. His mouth had curled into a tortured snarl, a bitter smile, his eyes shiny, crazy. You were shaking, he was shaking. You started crying, he started crying. With his thigh against your cunt, you felt his erection, hard and twitching.
“You think I didn’t think of this first?” He said roughly. “Christ, (Y/N), I’m trying to do the right thing here. You think I’ll be able to fucking kill you? I fucking adore you. I’d rather shoot myself in the head first, get it over with. Don’t ever fucking ask that of me again. I’ll be a dead man the second I do such a thing. I’ll be a dead fucking man if I’m not able to have you. Don’t ever fucking do that again.”
“Coward,” you spit in his face, and fight against his death grip. “Sentence us both then. I’ll be dead either way.”
He smashes your lips together. It hurts, it hurts, you wanna say, but you don’t think it’ll ever stop. There’s nothing in his way, everything in yours. In the time it takes to unzip his pants, grab his cock and guide it inside you, you’ve mourned him a thousand times over. To never have this again—him, again. . . You’ll die from missing him. You’ll cry yourself dry. There’s absolutely no way to escape this fate. You’re not ready, you’ll never be. How ridiculous it all seems in the end, faced with losing him.
He makes love to you slow, gentle, like he’s never done before. It’s not so much to get you off, than it is to make you understand. He could kill you both, but he’ll never be able to see you again. His place will be hell, the lowest level, the one he’ll have to keep walking for all eternity, while you’re up with the angels. If he doesn’t, if he hides the gun and never thinks of it again, at least he knows you’re somewhere out there, where there might be a one in a million chance he gets to be with you once more. If you’ll take him. Old and grey. He’ll never see you again as you are underneath him right now.
You stay like that on the floor for a while, with his seed spilling from between your legs, your scent all over him. You kiss him and for the first time, he kisses back. No teeth, no fists.
When he moves you over to the bed, he sleeps for the first time since he was born.
He sleeps and he dreams of you, of little hands reaching out, of being away from all this, far, far away. What he would give.
Everything. Everything.
717 notes · View notes
a-leg-without-fear · 3 months ago
Text
Flooded Red (pt.1)🩸🌧️
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some lore for the reader character!! this takes place during the raid on the mansion in X2: X-Men United. please enjoy some Gore and some BAMF reader :)
Ship: Logan Howlett x Mutant!Fem!Reader
Rating: 16+
Wordcount: 4.7k
Warnings: gore, violence, Carrie-levels of blood, mentions of child abuse/abandonment, child endangerment, mentions of experimentation, depressive thoughts, drugging, choking, mentions of serious illness
Series: Flooded Red
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You were no stranger to nightmares. Whether they were your own, making you toss and turn and wake up feeling exhausted, or Logan’s, leaving him shaking and panting. Yours were more infrequent than his. Every other night or so, your dreams were edged with that toxic darkness compared to his nightly torment. Anxiety-fuelled imagery that made your heart pump and your skin sweaty.
Tonight, it seemed, was your turn on the nightmare-express. Flashes of your life before joining Xavier’s School for Gifted Youngsters pierced your mind like a hot poker. Your father dying of polio, your mother abandoning you when your mutation showed itself, you begging for food on the side of the road for twenty years. 
In particular, one evening in the ‘50s decided to plague you. 
You, a 54-year old who appeared to still be twelve, were hunkered down in the abandoned building you called home. It was raining, humid summer air leaking in through the boarded up windows. Mildew spots covered the aged wallpaper. A distinct, old-house smell permeated the aged floorboards. 
You sat on your collection of moth-eaten blankets. An array of warm reds and cool blues created a cushy, makeshift bed that you spent your nights in. Pale orange filtered in from the streetlamps outside the abandoned house. You had tried your best to block out light by sticking newspapers to what windows weren’t covered by pine boards.
A group of men stood in front of you. Varying heights and weights. One had darker skin and cropped black hair, another had a neck tattoo and a cleft lip. Those two stood at the front of the pack of five. All wearing dark clothes and brandishing various household items as weapons. Steel pipes, wrenches, tire irons.
“You guys really don’t want to do this,” you squeaked out. You silently cursed your prepubescent voice. The man with the tattoo scoffed, squinted eyes peering around where you sat.
“And what’re you gonna do, pipsqueak?” he sneered. He smacked his palm with the pipe in his hands. The others moved to form a line next to him, blocking you from any exits.
“You’re not gonna like it,” you muttered under your breath. The man on the far right, blonde-haired and green-eyed, chuckled at you.
“You are the least threatening girl I-”
His words were cut short, breath caught in his throat. Your head was tilted as you focused. Dark eyes flooded red, blood overtaking the white, as your left arm raised toward the group.
Rough gurgles echoed from each man’s chest. Eyes wide with fear, skin flushing, lungs filled with liquid. Your lips spread into a knowing grin.
With one flick of your fingers, you made the men’s blood reach its boiling point. Explosions of crimson ichor burst from the five men. Skin split and flowered around large wounds. Bones cracked, limbs twitching and flailing.
One by one, each man fell to the ground. Bodies turned to sacks of flesh and organs. Blood seeped from the empty carcasses into the wooden floorboards.
Your smile remained stretched across your face. You hadn’t moved from your pile of blankets. Left arm covered to the elbow in blood, rest of your body clean, eyes returning to their normal ruby shade.
A piercing, world-shattering scream broke you from the shackles of your nightmare. You darted up, chest heaving, hands covering your ears to shield yourself from the noise. Glancing briefly at your own body, you were met with your adult self. Your wide eyes looked up and darted around your room.
The left side of your bed was empty. Sheets bunched up by your knees, pillow ruffled. Results of Logan sharing your bed. Yet the grouch was nowhere to be seen. You looked up to the door hoping to see him standing there.
Instead, your eyes landed on three heavily armed men. Covered in kevlar, bullet-proof vests, thick helmets. Each one having several guns attached at various points on their bodies. They were hunched over, hands over their ears, occasional grunts coming from beneath black, cloth masks.
Ignoring the scream that jabbed your eardrums when you lowered your hands, you scrambled out of bed. Your socked feet slid slightly on the hardwood floors as you dashed to the doorway. 
Just as suddenly as it had begun, the screaming stopped. You shook your head and blinked a few times. You took the chance you saw before you while the armed men reoriented.
A sharp jab to the front man’s jaw, his head ricocheting back, and a swift kick to his stomach sent him careening back between the other two. You couldn’t stop to check if he was out yet. You swiveled on your backfoot to the man on the right. Grabbing the sides of his helmet, you yanked his head down and connected his eye socket with your knee. You punched him in the temple for good measure as he fell to the floor.
The last man raised his machine gun to your torso. You paused briefly, eyeing the man up and down, then dropped to your knees as gunshots ringed over your head. You lunged forward at the man’s legs and knocked him to the ground. A strong kick to the face and he was out.
Breathing heavily, you clambered to your feet. Your gaze landed on the wooden door behind you. You expected to see bullet holes and splintered shrapnel. Instead, three small, white darts were embedded in the wood grain. You plucked one from the door to inspect it.
Right when the dart was lifted to your face, thick arms wrapped around your neck. Kevlar vest met your t-shirt clad back as the man who you’d failed to check choked you. Your breath came out ragged and strained. You tried to stomp back on the man’s feet, but he just stepped out of the way. Your vision was growing blurry around the edges.
“Stupid fucking mutant,” the man huffed in your ear, every word laced with malice and hate.
In a last ditch attempt, you took the dart still clutched in your fingers and stabbed it into the man’s arm. A string of pained curses left the man’s mouth as he released you. You stumbled forward, chest heaving to recover lost air, as you pivoted to face your attacker.
The man blindly grabbed at the dart in his forearm. He stumbled back, body connecting with the wall behind him, then started sinking to the floor. His head lolled to the side.
Huh, tranquilizers, you thought.
You hardly had time to assess your situation as you heard scuffling down the hall. Dozens of thick boots stepping quietly across the hardwood floor. When you listened closer, you heard the clatter of guns in gloved hands.
An involuntary growl left your chest. These men were here for the kids. Your kids. The kids you’ve helped teach and care for and raise. Flashes of fiery anger licked up your chest. You knelt and tore one of the machine guns filled with darts away from the unconscious men.
You kept low to the ground as you peered out of your bedroom doorway. A larger group of kevlar-clad men, about eight strong, were walking away from your room and toward the edge of the mansion. You nestled the stock in your shoulder and aimed at the group.
Muffled, quick shots echoed from the rifle as you shot at the men, each bundle of three darts connecting with a limb. Helmets clattered on the floor as the men collapsed. They had no time to register where the shots were coming from before they laid in an unconscious heap on the floor.
You threw the empty gun to the floor as you stood. You hated guns. Hated what they represented, the violence they caused, the people who wielded them. It was a very rare circumstance that placed a gun in your hands.
A chorus of children’s screams came from the hallway behind you. Terrified, heart-wrenching, utterly fearful. Pure, unbridled rage tugged at your chest. You could feel red coat the edges of your eyes. Blood seeping into the whites to make you look like some kind of demon.
You turned and walked briskly down the hall. Hands clenched in fists at your sides, pulse beating rapidly beneath your skin, eyes clouded in a flaming scarlet.
When you approached the next group of men, this group being six strong and standing outside Ryan and Addie’s room, your mind seemed to click off. All you could see was red, all you could hear was your own pulse in your ears, all you could taste was fresh blood coating your tongue. 
Your body wasn’t your own. Fingers twisted and manipulated the pumping blood beneath the men’s skin. Bubbling and boiling the flowing ichor until each man froze where they stood. Twitching and shaking, eyes crying scarlet and mouths leaking red. Another flick of your fingers and they exploded into clouds of steamed blood. Crimson coated your entire body, leaving you drenched in the men’s remains.
Six men. Turned into empty skins and abandoned organs. Blood seeping into the hardwood floor. Dead.
Your vision came back to you. Gasping breaths left your throat in short bursts. Warm liquid beaded on the sides of your face and dripped down your skin. Your clothes were utterly drenched, your hair plastered to your scalp, feet submerged in a puddle of red.
It had been so long since you’d lashed out like that. Mind going blank and fingers acting of their own accord. Since that night in the abandoned house, you’d kept your wits about you. Always resorting to hand-to-hand or to weapons if the need presented itself. You never used your mutation if you could help it.
You felt ashamed. These six men were just doing as they were told. They were only following orders. No one, not even the worst humans, deserved to die like that.
Before the panic could grip you in a chokehold, another group of booted footsteps came from down the hall. A small voice echoed in the back of your mind. The kids. Protect the kids. Whatever it takes. How could you refuse, when the children were your life? Your reason for being?
You splashed through the puddles of blood as you moved down the hall. Eyes flooded red, fingers twitching at your sides, anger gripping your chest in a vice. You weren’t yourself anymore. You weren’t the art teacher the children loved, the friend that the X-Men laughed with, or the lover Logan had grown to know.
All you were was a burning, churning whirlpool of fiery hate. Flames licked at your lungs, filling each breath with fire. Swirling images of corpses at your feet filled your stomach to the brim.
“There’s another one! Wait… holy shit!” yelled out from in front of you. You cocked your head as you observed this new group of men.
Ten strong, all clad in kevlar and vests, all pointing their rifles loaded with tranquilizer darts at you. You could see a shake in their hands as they took in the sight of you. Eyes flooded red, blood seeping through your hair and into your clothes, feet tracking crimson in their wake. If there was a physical embodiment of Carrie, you fit the bill.
“D-Don’t move!” called the trembling voice again. Guns clicked in gloved hands as the safeties were switched off. You could see every hand had a finger resting on a trigger.
Your right hand twitched, fingers curling, as a manic grin overtook your stoney expression. These men, these infiltrators, were giving you commands? Were demanding you stand down as they took your children away? These puny, insignificant men were instructing someone with the power to kill them in a single motion? The thought made you laugh under your breath.
“Or what?” you said back. Red dots centered on your chest as every man aimed at you. Another chuckle flitted through your lips, “Good luck with that.”
Dozens of gunshots ringed out through the hallway as dart after dart embedded in your chest. Clusters of white needles protruded from your blood stained shirt. You glanced down at the intrusions to your bloodstream. A tired edge overtook your mind as the tranquilizers pumped their chemicals into you. 
You gripped the darts and ripped them from your chest. A cacophony of clatters bounced back to the men as the darts fell to the floor. You shook your head to rid yourself of the chemicals threatening to knock you out. 
“Wanna try that again?” you asked, every word dripping in sarcastic confidence. 
Before the men could reload and obey your request, you raised your left hand to the group. Your senses focused on the blood pumping through their scared little hearts. Cortisol coursed through each man’s veins. Pathetic.
A twitch of your fingers made their hearts careen to a stop. Blood froze in their veins, oxygen being deprived from their lungs, eyes widening and limp hands clutching at their throats. It only took a few moments for them to collapse to the floor.
You breathed a humorless laugh at the mess of corpses in front of you. Who did they think they were, to challenge you like that? Especially after they saw that their darts didn’t work. You tilted your head side to side as you stretched out your neck.
“Vampire?” a small voice said from behind you. You turned to the source, fingers twitching in preparation. Whoever this new threat was, you’d deal with it quickly.
Regret filled your stomach like a lead ball when your eyes landed on Addie and Ryan. They stood, hand in shaking hand, feet soaking in the puddles of blood, wide eyes looking up at you. Your breath left your lungs in one sharp gust.
“Are you okay?” Addie asked, being the one who’d said your nickname before. She tucked a strand of platinum blonde hair behind her ear. You sank to your knees before the siblings.
“I… Yeah, I’m okay,” you sighed. You squeezed your eyes shut, clearing your head of the hatred it was filled with. When you opened them again, Ryan stood before you. His blue eyes looked you over with a deep concern crinkling in the corners.
“You sure? You’re pretty bloody,” he said. You wiped at the blood covering your face. It was no use, your hands being equally drenched.
“Is it your blood?” Addie questioned from behind her brother. You shook your head.
“No. No, it’s not. Are you guys okay?” you asked, desperate to shift the attention from yourself. Both children nodded. You gave them both a once over. Their hair was ruffled from sleep, hems of their pajamas and white socks soaked in the blood covering the floor, wide eyes looking to you for reassurance. You cleared your throat, “Did those guys hit you with anything?”
Both siblings shook their heads. You breathed a sigh of relief. 
“Alright. Let’s get you to the passageway on this floor. Ryan, You’ll be right behind me. Protect your sister,” you instructed. The kids nodded their heads again. You stood before them, giving yourself a look up and down. 
You looked horrifying. Once white t-shirt and green shorts were drenched in thick blood. Your hair clung to the sides of your head. Rivulets of crimson leaked down your bare legs and arms. 
Yet, when your gaze met the kids’, they looked at you with nothing but adoration. How could they look up to someone as terrifying as you? Someone who just killed sixteen fucking people? What would that teach them?
You squared your shoulders, pushing your insecurities down as far as they could go, and started leading the kids back down the hall. Your knees were bent as you kept low to the floor. You would pause every few moments to listen to the mansion around you. More gunshots from the floor below you, screams of terrified children, grunts and yells from the men in kevlar. You kept your mind from wandering to that rage and continued to lead Addie and Ryan to safety.
Relief flooded your lungs when you saw a group of children, led by Piotr, standing by this floor’s escape passageway. You straightened your posture. Addie and Ryan ran ahead of you to reconnect with their classmates.
“How many do you have?” you called over the swarm of scared children. Piotr, an older student whose skin could turn to metal, looked up at you from directing kids through the narrow doorway. His eyes widened at the state of you.
“Uh… Twelve, I think,” he replied. He ushered Addie and Ryan through the door, then turned to you, “Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” you said through gritted teeth. Your shoulders seized when you heard heavy boots across the hall from you. Piotr looked over his shoulder, having also heard the approach.
Logan turned the corner. White tank top bunched around his midriff, jeans torn around his thighs, dark hair mussed from its two points. He held a knocked-out Jones, a young brunet who could manipulate electrical frequencies, in his arms. His hazel eyes glanced at you then fixed on Piotr.
“Hey, take him. He’s stunned,” Logan said, handing Jones over to Piotr. The larger boy held Jones tight against his chest. 
Just as Logan was turning to you, Piotr called out, “I can help you!” Logan looked back at Piotr. He pointed down the passageway, then said, “Help them.”
Piotr nodded at Logan, ducking into the doorway and sealing the passageway behind him. Logan suddenly grabbed your shoulders in both of his hands. You met his frantic eyes, narrowed lids shadowed by his furrowed brow.
“What the hell happened to you? Why are you covered in blood?” he asked. 
“I’m fine, Lo. It’s not my blood,” you said, shrugging his hands off your shoulders. His indignant reply was cut off when you both heard movement around the corner. 
Logan shoved you behind him as you both approached the corner. He pushed on your shoulder so you could squat next to him. His sturdy arm held you against the wall at your backs.
“Stay here,” he breathed into your ear. You nodded once in acknowledgement. Logan nodded back, then turned his attention back to the approaching group. 
You focused on lifting the blood from your shirt. Beads of crimson drifted away from your body and floated in the air before you. Your fingers twitched and the beads crashed into each other. Blood cell on top of blood cell, stacking together and forming a sharp lance the length of your forearm. One last flick of your wrist and the iron in the blood hardened the lance. A solid, red, metal weapon fell out of the air and into your open palm. At least you were significantly less bloody now.
Logan watched you out of the corners of his eyes. An air of admiration crossed his face. 
The brief moment was interrupted as a combat boot landed by Logan’s knees. Logan’s chest rumbled a deep growl, his claws shinking out of his knuckles, as he lunged forward and stabbed his right claws through the toe of the boot. A pained cry fell from the kevlar wearing man. Logan leapt to his feet as he plunged his left hand into the man’s stomach, shoving them both around the corner and out of your sight.
You remained crouched, back leaning against the wooden wall. Loud pops of gunfire echoed around you. Real guns, loaded with bullets instead of darts. Sharp cracks pierced the air as bullets flew in rapid succession toward Logan. A few bullet casings landed, smoking, by your feet. 
Light beamed from the dropped flashlight that rolled into view. Spurts of blood coated the tool in red jets. You spun the lance a few times in your hands, waiting.
“Clear,” Logan called. You pushed yourself upright and rounded the corner. About a dozen men, all clad in the same dark kevlar, lay dead at Logan’s feet. His chest was heaving, eyes darting to and from each man’s face, fists still clenched with claws poking out between his knuckles.
“All good, Lo?” you asked. His claws fully retracted as he met your gaze. He gave you a sharp nod then turned on his heel. You picked your way through the bodies, accidentally kicking a few limbs here and there, as you followed after him. 
“You never answered my question,” Logan said. You caught up with him and met his fast pace down the hallway. The two of you jogged while you tried to ignore his question. A few moments passed, the clipping of Logan’s boots on the floor being the only noise between you.
“I snapped,” was your quiet response. Short, simple, to the point. And it was all Logan needed. He threw you another quick nod while you two approached the balcony overlooking the mansion’s foyer.
Bright lights shone on Rogue, Bobby, and John as they stood below the balcony. All in their sleep clothes, all looking absolutely terrified. A guttural yell came from Logan as he leapt over the railing and dived into the four men aiming rifles at the older students.
You were about to follow when the back of your head was grabbed, a rough hand shoving your face into the railing and knocking your forehead on the wood. Spiked pain shot through your head, your knees crumpling beneath you. The hand tangled in your hair remained.
“Got the bloody one,” the man gripping you called behind him. You scratched at his hand as you tried to free yourself.
Slicing claws through flesh and pained yells soared over the balcony from the floor below. Your dazed mind tried to comprehend what was happening around you.
Some of the kevlar-clad men stood around you. Five, or was it seven, surrounded you with the muzzles of their guns aimed at your woozy form. Your head was utterly spinning. Nausea flooded your stomach and sent you reeling. If it weren’t for the gloved hand in your hair, you’d be sprawled out on the floor.
“Vampire!” Bobby called. You could just barely see his face through the bars of the railing. Wide, blue eyes glanced between you and the men surrounding you. He threw a hand up in your direction, “Duck!”
You didn’t need to be told twice. You yanked your head away from the man above you and dove to the floor. Just as your hands covered the back of your head, a biting chill filled the air above you. Wave after wave of flowing ice coursed over the balcony. You shivered from where you laid on the floor.
“C’mon!” John yelled up at you. You peered at the men who held you captive. All of them were coated in a thick layer of ice, skin turned pale and blue, joints frozen in place. Living ice sculptures. 
You pushed yourself to your feet, ignoring the sway in your motion, as you prepared to vault over the railing. Just as you had swung your leg over the wood banister the front door burst open, streams of LED lights illuminating the four mutants below you.
Logan motioned for you to stay where you were, looking you up and down, then ushered Rogue, Bobby, and John further into the mansion. Dozens of men followed in their wake.
You, not being one to listen to instructions very often, crept along the banister until you reached the stairs. Lucky for you, your socked and soaked feet wouldn’t make much noise on the hardwood. You snuck down the stairs while listening to the kevlar-clad men flood through the front door. When you reached the bottom you paused. Squatted, lance clutched in both hands, waiting for the last of the men to pass.
Once you saw a break in the stream of soldiers, you dashed between shadows while trailing after Logan. Keeping out of sight, ducking beneath flashlight beams, sneaking around corners. 
“You want to shoot me? Shoot me!” you heard Logan yell down the hall from where you were. You picked up the pace. Soaked feet slapping against the wood floors, clubbing soldiers on the head as you passed with the blunt end of your lance to knock them out, racing to try and prevent Logan and the others from getting hurt.
“Don’t shoot him!” a male voice yelled. You slid around the last corner and found a cluster of kevlar-clad men. All with their rifles and flashlights pointed at Logan down the hall. You froze in place, breath held. One of the men stepped forward, a flashlight held aloft in his gunless hands. He moved to stand in the middle of the rest of the men, “Not yet.”
You slipped behind one of the giant vases scattered throughout this hallway. Tucking yourself into the long shadows thrown by the large piece of pottery, your head just barely poked out to watch the scene unfold.
“Wolverine? Well, I must admit, this is certainly the last place I’d expect to find you,” the unarmed man said. He took a few more steps forward. Logan watched his approach, confusion written in his knitted brows. The lone man chuckled, “How long has it been? 15 years? You haven’t changed one bit. Me, on the other hand…” the man trailed off. He stopped a few feet in front of Logan and gestured to his own face, “...nature.”
You didn’t like this. The man in front of Logan gave you a bad feeling. Like shocks of anxiety pricking over your hypersensitive skin. You gripped your lance tighter in your hands.
Logan’s claws retracted back between his knuckles. Narrowed, hazel eyes analyzed the man standing in front of him.
“I didn’t realize Xavier was taking in animals,” the man said with a laugh. He adjusted the glasses sitting on the bridge of his wide nose, “Even animals as unique as you.”
“Who are you?” Logan asked. His hands remained clenched at his sides.
The man laughed again, “Don’t you remember?”
Logan stared at the man, mouth agape. He took a few steps forward.
You’d had enough. This man, whoever he was, wasn’t going to talk Logan into… whatever it is this guy was trying to do.
You darted out from behind the vase, lance brandished in your hands. Your head cocked as you sent the weapon soaring through the air. One of the kevlar-wearing men to your right gasped as the lance speared through his back and exited from the center of his chest. You focused on the lance as it flew from one man to the next. Sailing through the air until it pierced the men’s abdomens and sent them careening to the floor.
Every gun pointed in your direction. Some men holding rifles containing darts, others aiming real guns straight at you. You paused mid-step.
Your gaze met Logan’s. Recognition flashed in his widened eyes. He took another step forward, this time toward you.
Ice crackled on the walls of the hallway. Large snowflakes linked together as they stretched the width of the hallway and formed a wall. The ice solidified, creating a transparent, blue blockade between you and Logan.
“No, no!” Logan yelled from his side of the wall. He pounded desperately on the ice.
The unarmed man turned to face you. He was older, hair graying and beard wiry. Black glasses framed his squinted, blue eyes. You shifted your weight between your feet.
“Hello, my dear. You must be the one called ‘Bleeder,’” he said. Your posture stiffened at the name. You felt your jaw clench.
“I haven’t been called that in a long time,” you replied. God, if it weren’t for the guns pointed at you, you’d have skewered this man ages ago.
“And yet it was your moniker all the same,” the man said. His boots clicked against the hardwood as he approached you. Thick coat covering his torso, gloved hands clutched behind his back. He stopped a few paces in front of you. His hooded eyes passed over your blood-covered form, “I believe I have use of you. Take her.”
The familiar pop of the dart-filled guns rang out as you were peppered with white needles. Dozens and dozens of pinpricks filled your chest. You gasped, falling to one knee. The edges of your mind began to cloud with a foggy haze.
“Vampire!” you distantly heard Logan yell. You felt the floor sway beneath your feet. Your hands planted on the hardwood when you fell forward.
“That’s it. Off to sleep, Bleeder,” the man said above you. You threw him one last hate-filled glare, then collapsed as the tranquilizers overtook your senses.
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some looooooooooore for reader!!! hope y'all enjoyed. and what a cliffhanger, huh?
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venomnyx · 12 days ago
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FAVOURS - Josh Washington x F!Reader AO3 // Playlist
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WORD COUNT - 5.2k SUMMARY - The Washingtons invite you to stay with them in their lodge over the summer while you heal from a rough breakup with who you thought was the love of your life. One warm evening, when Josh teaches you to smoke for the first time, he offers you a mutually beneficial proposition that you find impossible to resist. TAGS/WARNINGS - female pronouns and anatomy, best friends older brother, recreational drug use (weed smoking), shitty ex-boyfriend, candid conversations, sexual proposition, friends with benefits (with feelings?), sneaking around, oral (fem receiving), outdoor sex, dialogue-heavy, not beta read NOTES - i need this man carnally.
prequel to the fool card, can be read as a standalone fic
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The lodge runs cold this time of night, even in the summer.
You tip-toe down the hallway, sneaking past the twin’s bedroom, arms wrapped around your middle as goose pimples drift on your arms. A soft slip of pink light drifts through the underbelly of their door, and, warmed by nostalgia, you fondly remember that Hannah never liked sleeping in the dark.
The stairs creak as you make your way to the kitchen. The varnished wood of the bannister feels glossy and cool beneath your tentative fingertips, steadying your gentle footsteps so as not to disturb anybody.
The expansive windows stretch the further you walk into the main living area, overlooking the mountains. It’s a daunting sensation to realise you’re so small and insignificant, sucked in by the misty rocks and endless snow, ribboned with twilight shades of silver and blue. You quietly wonder what mysteries lay beyond, stretching out in haunting invitation.
His voice comes out of nowhere. “You lost?”
“Jesus, Josh. Scared the shit out of me.” Your voice is a sharp whisper, but the narrowed-eye look you shoot him only makes him laugh— a warm rumbly thing that makes your chest flutter.
“Sorry,” he says, but his mischievous tone is anything but. He glances you up and down. “Cute PJ’s. What’re you doin’ up?”
You suddenly feel exposed in your pyjamas, a little slip of black silk shorts and a matching vest.
“Don’t make fun of me,” you scowl, crossing your arms over your chest after fiddling with the thin strap on your shoulder. “I couldn’t sleep. I just needed some water.”
You pause, hesitating as if waiting for him to say something.
His smile grows almost imperceptibly, time dragging like slow honey drips as he drinks in your bashful fidgeting and challenges your fast-slipping eye contact.
Eventually, he nods directionally without his gaze leaving you. “Kitchens that way,” he says, and the tension bubble pops between you.
You roll your eyes. “I know, asshole. I practically live here.”
He grins. “That so?” He calls after you as you walk away, mock surprise in his tone. “Guess I never noticed you before.”
You stick your finger up over your shoulder, but there suddenly isn’t a trace of cold in your body.
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“Hey, you wanna join me outside for a bit?” Josh asks, peeking his head through the door as you sip your water. “Place gets kinda lonely at night.”
His voice remains low, unconvinced— like he’s not sure you’ll agree. You’re not entirely sure you should. You and Josh aren’t exactly close— friends, sure, but only through his sisters, but his invitation feels warm, not awkward.
Moments later, after brief deliberation and realising you have nothing to lose, you follow him through the side door, the midnight summer air a balm to your skin.
He’s leaning over the balcony railing, eyes cast over the mountain treetops. A thin line of pungent smoke curls up from between his fingers and disappears.
He turns to you with a raised brow when he notices you watching. “Busted,” he says, smirking softly as he lifts the joint to his mouth. “You gonna rat me out to my parents?”
You roll your eyes. “Who’d believe me?”
He laughs, gesturing toward you and offering the joint without preamble. You freeze, hoping to not look like a total loser, but Josh catches your hesitation with perceptive eyes.
“What, never done this before?”
“Honestly? No,” you answer, trying to fight the warmth on your face.
“Really?” He grins, eyes sparkling. “Wouldn’t have expected that from you.”
“Go ahead, laugh it up,” you roll your eyes, crossing your arms defensively. “I never cared to get around to it.”
His grin softens, holding it out to you, cherry-tipped and releasing smoke in gentle waves. “First time for everything?”
You take it off of him, deciding why not. You try mirroring his movements before, drawing in a shallow breath, figuring it works just like smoking a cigarette. The smoke, sharp and unfamiliar, stabs as it reaches your throat. You cough reflexively, flushing as you sputter.
“Oh, God— that sucks.”
He laughs fondly, somehow making you feel a little less embarrassed, and gently takes it from your fingers, leading you over to the plush outdoor bench. A hand on your shoulder as you both sit.
“First times always rough. You gotta do it slower— just- just relax, alright? It’s not a big deal. I’ll show you.”
You swallow, watching as he demonstrates, pulling in a slow drag and letting it fill his lungs before releasing it. There’s something almost hypnotic in the way he does it, so comfortable and at ease, like he did this all the time alone and you had no idea. He hands it over to you, guiding your hand around it carefully, his fingers brushing yours, lingering just a beat longer than they have to.
“Start small— just enough to get the feel.”
Warm under his watchful stare, you try to follow his instructions. You find it’s easier this way, only a slight burn as it passes your throat, gentle when you exhale, if a little irritating. His smile grows.
“There you go,” he praises, clapping your shoulder once before releasing you. “Doesn’t suck so bad, does it?”
“Sure, whatever,” you say, handing it back to him. He only half-chuckles at your dismissal, not put off in the slightest.
The silence settles comfortably, interrupted only by the soft hiss and flicker of the joint as he inhales. He tilts his head, watching the smoke disappear into the night air, expression distant. Thoughtful, like something crosses his mind.
“You and your boyfriend broke up?” He asks with a squint.
You peer over at him, holding onto your shins as you tuck your knees into your chest. “You know about that?”
“Sure. My sisters gossip,” he says, and you swear his eyes give you a once-over when he hands you the joint. “You were together for a long stretch, huh? You wanna talk about it?”
You take a hit, letting the smoke sit whilst you take a moment to hesitate. Josh isn’t exactly your confidant, but there’s something about the late-night, the quiet vulnerability of your interactions, that tempts you to lower your guard.
With an exhale, “It’s… not worth your time.”
He remains steady, sincere. “Try me.”
You sigh through your nose, staring at the sky above as if gathering strength.
“Well, I loved him, but he went to college, hooked up with another girl in the first week. A… mutual friend.”
“Oof.” He releases a low whistle. “Bummer.”
You frown sourly, gaze cast downwards. “Same old story.”
“You don’t have to say that… you seem upset about it,” he observes.
“I’m over it,” you say quickly, defensively. Tense shoulders when you speak. “I mean, I’m over him. He’s… whatever.”
He lounges back, sensing there’s more to the story. “But…”
“I think I’m just more angry with myself because I already felt like I was doing charity work,” you admit after a beat of consideration. “You give the ugly-funny guy a chance and he suddenly thinks he’s some…” you trail off, laughing bitterly. “He was so insecure, you know? Hated that I hung out with guys like you and Matt and— ugh. He was my first love, my first— …he’s not even worth the breath. Wasn’t even a good fuck.”
His eyebrows flash up. “Oh?”
Instantly mortified, you place your hands over your warm face, head swimming behind your closed eyes. “Oh my god, just forget I said that—”
“No, no—” he struggles to speak between bursts of laughter. A quick cough into his fist to compose himself. “Nothing wrong with being… open. Honesty is good.”
You groan, but the weed dulls the blade edge of your humiliation, making it manageable. It doesn’t quite cut your fingers when you hold it. A giggle escapes you from the ridiculousness of it— a light thing that seems to shake some of the weight off your shoulders, like blowing dust off an old book.
“I don’t know why I said that,” you mutter, eyes teary from laughing despite yourself. “It’s probably just the weed talking. Don’t laugh, Josh.”
“I’m not laughing!” He insists, but the teeth-flashing grin says he’s full of amusement.
You shoot him a glare and he laugh-yells when you swing for him with a bench pillow.
“Hey! I feel sorry for you, if anything. Never had him show you a good time.”
“We had good… times,” you say, but your tone fails.
“Uh-huh,” he responds, unconvinced. “Sounds like ugly-funny guy wasn’t all that.”
You drag your hands down your face. “Okay, fine. Honestly, no— he wasn’t. He barely paid attention. Like I was just… there.”
There’s something cathartic about it, opening up to the person you never thought you’d be having this kind of conversation with. It’s hard, with the twins— Beth isn’t exactly romantic, and Hannah’s all rose-tinted glasses. Josh’s perspective is… different. Refreshing. Exciting?
“That blows,” he shrugs. “Guess you got unlucky. Firsts shouldn’t have to suck that bad.”
You hum, closing your eyes as you bask in the warmth of your high, and his company. “I’m probably oversharing.”
“Nah, I get it,” he says. You peek at him and he’s all soft-smirks and understanding eyes, regarding you with low lashes. “We all got… we all got needs. Like cracking your neck, right? Doesn’t have to be a big deal.”
You nod in shy agreement.
“Just sounds like you need someone who, y’know… understands the art a little better.”
Your heart stutters behind your ribs, wondering if you really picked up on a subtle proposition or if you’re just imagining things. You’re higher than you need to be, but you still inhale another drag with shaking fingers as if the act itself will soothe you.
“Oh, is that right?”
The corner of his mouth ticks with mirth, eyes flickering something dangerous when he glances over your figure, tongue darting out as if drinking you in.
“Yeah, you know. Some better options.”
Your neurons are like butter in a pan: melting, sliding from one thought to another. You very suddenly can’t stop imagining what it would be like to have sex with Josh Washington— and not in the intrusive thought, “ew that’s my best-friends-brother” way, but in a way, that’s far, far more tempting.
You raise an eyebrow, trying to keep it casual despite the sudden warmth growing in your shorts. “Got any recommendations?”
“Could be me,” he murmurs, voice low and playful. Half-serious, half-joking, a droplet suggestion in a gentle current. “Just as a… temporary thing, you know? We’d be doing each other... favours.”
Your pulse skyrockets, throbbing in your throat and between your thighs. A thrill, driven by your sudden insatiable curiosity. But still, a stab of reluctance pokes through the mist of your weed haze.
“Hey. You can forget I asked,” he says gently, meaningfully. “Just a… thought.”
You can feel yourself getting embarrassingly wetter by the second, desperate to ease the tension with an excuse, any excuse. No, no, God no, you shouldn’t indulge in the forbidden fruit of your best friend’s older brother, of your friend, even if the thought of getting your desperately high sexual frustration quenched is insatiably desirable.
“Josh. We’re both high.”
“…But you’re down?”
You throw him a look, soft, puppyish. Please don’t make you say no because you’re not sure you can.
“Sure, we’re high. Not stupid. Not drunk.” He senses your trepidation. “It doesn’t have to mean anything if that’s what you’re worried about. We’re friends, right? Besides, we’ve got the whole summer together, so…”
“…Might as well make the most of it.”
He pauses, bottom lip caught between his teeth in thought, and then a nod. “Exactly.”
“Jesus,” you murmur, head swimming after your final smoke.
His eyes don’t leave yours when he has his turn. A quick puff between his teeth, smoke misting around him in the low lighting. A rushed inhale, the cherry glowing, a hiss when he exhales. There’s something deliberate about the way he’s looking at you.
Without breaking eye contact, he flicks the roach over the railing, the dying ember tumbling into the dark. His hands quickly find the back of your neck decisively, thumbing along your jaw, pulling you towards him in a fluid motion, angling his head to meet you— and then he’s on you. His lips capturing yours with a reverent ferocity, an urgency that catches you off guard.
He tastes like acrid weed smoke and something subtle, sweeter, like hard candy lingering on his tongue.
A moment of sobriety snatches you from the moment when you consider what his sisters — your best friends — might think if they found out you were planning on screwing their brother on the family holiday they invited you to.
You pull away, just enough that your noses brush. “Josh…”
“Shh,” he coos, sweeping you up with his attention again. You don’t object, too paralysed by the moment to deny yourself of this. You high-pitch moan against his mouth as his tongue strokes yours, turning gelatinous and pliant when his hand slips down from your shoulder to your breast, to your waist. Gripping, staking claim, just a slip of silk between his fingers and your skin, warm where he holds you.
The kiss intensifies, his mouth moving over yours in a way that’s both gentle and demanding; he’s greedy, savouring every second and every tremble of your hand as you try to steady yourself with fingers bunched into his hoodie. He thumbs along the pulse in your throat and you feel him smile into the kiss, relishing, and you realise he’s loving this— loving kissing you with a slow, aching patience that leaves you needy and breathless.
A hand slides down your body to your thigh, smooth against bare skin. His thumb pressing just enough to make an indent in the soft flesh, fingertips edging to the hem of your pyjamas and your heart jumps.
“This alright?” He asks, as his fingers form a gap between the waistband of your shorts and your skin.
“Mhm.” It pitches high. 
“You’re really hot when you’re excited.”
A hand on his neck. “Let’s hope you back up that talk then, huh?”
His fingers feel cool when they slide against your middle, hot and wet. A shuddery breath escapes you as he rubs slow, once, twice, slickening up.
“You normally this wet?”
“God, d-don’t,” you pant, clutching his shoulders. “It’s been a while.”
He laughs once in a breath, working his wrist slowly. “Don’t worry. Me too.”
Your breath hitches as he rubs circles into your clit, heat liquidising and pooling into his touch.
And when he lifts from the couch, fingers retracting from your heat, you suddenly become very shy and very aware that you’re outside. He starts tugging your shorts down, and he shoots a grin in response to your reflexive tense.
“What, lost your nerve?” He murmurs, lowering to his knees. “It’s just us.”
You flash with knowing and suddenly freeze. “You don’t have to do that.”
“Why not? Isn’t this the best part?”
“Um…” you chew on your lip.
Recognition flickers on his face. “Damn. Your ex really was an asshole.” But when he looks up at you again, it’s fond. Sweet.
“Relax. I’ll take care of you.”
You squirm as he pulls your shorts down, silk over flesh, no underwear beneath, eyes hungry. Too embarrassed to watch him as he parts your knees and presses kisses to your inner thigh, traces the blade of his tongue across a stretch mark, too horny to resist. A flash of eye contact— the last chance to back out, but you’re so swept up in the moment you’re not sure you could form the words.
His lips are quick against your warm middle, tongue parting you deliciously slow, a hum of delight and pressure when he pushes deeper. A bated breath escapes you in a shuddering pant, fingers knitting into his hair, all challenging words and witty remarks dissolving on your tongue.
Yeah, you’ll never look at Josh Washington the same after this.
“Fuck.”
He moans contentedly, pleased with your vocalisation, and the vibrations ricochet up your spine.
Can’t remember the last time someone went down on you. Your ex never made a big fuss about it, not that he ever got you there often. You bubble with over-sensitivity, twitching when he licks you, a gentle push on his forehead.
“Slow down,” you stutter.
He kisses your thigh. “Sensitive, huh?”
“Shut up.”
But he listens— pace gentler, more controlled. Flat-tongued strokes that made you shudder, liquid heat pooling against his mouth. So sweet when he suckles on your clit, laps at your core, arms caged around your thighs without possessiveness. Every sweep is like a countdown, weeks of grief and heartbreak a distant memory with his face in your pussy.
Tension coils and everything narrows down. You’re not outside, not getting eaten out by your best friend’s older brother, not doing anything you’ll regret.
You cum quick— quicker than you have with any previous partners. It’s tingly, a rise and fall that leaves you breathless, knees locking, heart pounding. He releases his from you with a soft, wet pop, rising to his feet and white-knuckling a fist into the backrest of the bench. A quick body scan, a tick of his head to see if you’re alright.
When you nod, his free hand reaches to sink two fingers knuckle-deep, parting your slick velvet with ease as you still pulse rhythmically in the aftershocks.
Oh God it’s vulgar, the sounds you make. Honeydew-wet, drip-dropping onto his palm as he curls upwards, a high-strung moan that you bite into the back of your hand. Scrunched eyes flickering up to meet him as he stares down at you, lips shining arousal-wet.
Need flashes through you, the incessant little voice in your head reminding you that this is your friend Josh vanishing with each jolt as he finger-fucks you. Not quite satiated as you squeeze tight around his fingers. You kiss him, lavishing the taste of his mouth, grabbing his wrist to urge him deeper, closer, ball of his palm atom-close to your still throbbing clit.
You break the kiss only to ask, “Do you have a condom?”
His fingers leave you, slick-wet on your thigh as he grips you. “In my pocket.”
“Did you plan this?”
He grabs the foil from his jeans. “Always gotta be prepared.”
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There’s no space to take pause and consider the consequences when he tugs you onto his lap, jeans pooled around his ankles, cock sheathed in the condom and hard in his fist— not that you could formulate a cohesive thoughtwhen you’re this high and this horny.
Nails curl around his shoulders for support, desperate to tongue the firm planes you feel beneath his shirt, suck on the pulse that throbs in his neck, but the barrier of friendship draws an invisible line. He steadies you with a hand on your hip when you lower yourself, unhurried at first, just enough to stretch you out.
Shivery eye contact urges you on, and you slowly slide down, inch by eye-rolling inch, and then in one final swift drop, you’re pelvis-deep, wincing against the pleasure burn of the intrusion in your middle. A gasp escapes you, and his eyes find yours.
“Shit,” he murmurs, voice hoarse, breaking into a half-laugh. “You okay?”
You nod, but you’re trembling as you adjust to the size of him. “Yeah… yeah.”
Misty with sweat from the connection, your forehead settles against his, lips parted. You take a moment, adjust to the feeling, the weight of him inside of you. He’s as big as you thought he’d be— not that you’d tell him, as if his ego needs inflating anymore.
“It’s just… a lot.”
“I know,” he says, softer.
The world narrows down to the sensations: the midnight air cool against your skin, intimate heat pooling where you and Josh join, the feel of your heartbeat thrumming so hard your fingers shake against his shoulders. His touch slides down your back, under the small slip of your vest, brushing your sides with the same care he’d use to handle something delicate.
“Take your time,” he murmurs, voice low, strained. His stroking hands land on your thighs, thumbs pressing soothing circles into the bones of your hip. Grounding, despite the haze of arousal clouding your judgement.
You nod, swallowing hard, gripping his shoulders as you slowly lift yourself. Lungs tighten with caught breath at the way his cock shifts inside of you, the drag overwhelming and delicious— a punch of liquid-heat pleasure that makes your legs tremble when you lower yourself again, a slow descent that has both of you groaning softly. A gentle rhythm, a burn in the thighs.
“Feels good,” you stutter.
A short laugh, drifting into a tight sigh. “Too good.”
Trickling slow-building pressure settles low in your belly and has your hips shifting, testing. Tentative at first but growing bolder with each, slick pass. His grip tightens when you move, jaw clenching, throat bobbing when he swallows hard.
“I— fuck,” Josh breathes, fingers digging, the corner of his mouth ticking into a smirk despite his strung-tight tension. Abs flexed to gather control, breath hitching when you take him a little deeper. “That’s it, just like that.”
The praise shoots through you like a spark. Your body reacts instinctively— grinding against him, chasing the friction that licks pleasure in your belly like curling smoke. Slow, decadent, spreading, spreading…
“Jesus. You’re unreal.”
“Yeah?” You breathe, movements quickening, testing the waters of his endurance. Lips close to his jaw. “You like it?”
His response is immediate— a low, throaty groan as his hips tilt up to meet yours. “God, yeah,” he rasps, head tipping back, exposing the curve of his throat, the chords bobbing as he swallows thickly. “Fuck. Look at you.”
A smile teases the corner of your lips as you work him with your hips, spurred on by the thrill of his wearing tether.
“Did you really never notice me before?” You ask sweetly.
His head rolls back further, laughter torn through a sharp inhale. “Course I did. I just said that because…”
You tilt your head innocently, rhythm never faltering. “Because what?”
“It’s hard to focus when you keep— fuck— clenching like that,” he breathes after a squeezed blink, voice strained. “I said it because… shit, because you looked so good. Never— never let myself think about you like this before.”
Giddy from the affirmation, you bite on your lower lip. “So you think I’m hot, huh?”
“Don’t start.” His groan carries a weak laugh, but there’s no mistaking the warmth in his eyes. “You’re the one who came downstairs looking like that.”
You laugh breathlessly, a mix of indignation and amusement. “Hey, you invited me out here! I was just getting water.”
“And yet, here you are,” he shoots back, eyes dazed as he struggles to focus, but his smirk still bites mischievous.
“Josh!” You gasp, half-laughing. “You’re taking advantage of me, you know. I’m emotionally vulnerable.”
His smirk softens, shifting into something more genuine. “Yeah? You look real vulnerable right now.” His hands slide to your ass, squeezing with a force that makes you stutter a gasp. “The way you’re moving? Pretty sure you’re the one taking advantage of me.”
Your lips part with a retort sharp on your tongue, but his voice drops to a low murmur that sends heat pooling in your stomach.
“God, keep going. Feels so fucking good.”
Whatever witty comeback you mustered dies on your tongue, replaced by a shy moan as his hands guide you, hips sliding up to meet yours. Hands all over his chest to steady yourself, tingly to the bone when coiling tension blooms at the base of your spine. Pressure builds with each rolling thrust you muster, sharp with a pleasure ache when he nudges deeper.
“Josh,” you whimper, hands smoothing up to grip his tense shoulders. Your motions grow desperate, needy. Bursts of pleasure each time you snap together. Your breath comes faster, body trembling.
“Yeah?” He murmurs, voice strained but tender, teasing. “You close?”
You can’t form words, too lost in the pleasure building inside of you, so you frantically nod.
“C’mon,” he mutters, tone syrupy low and coaxing. His thumb slips between your bodies, finding your clit and applying pressure and circles in time with his thrusts. It’s like a strike of lightning, head tipping back as you arch into him. “That’s it. Let me feel you. I got you, I got you—”
His words shoot arousal straight to your core and your body seizes, locked-tight until the dam breaks, white-hot and all-consuming. Shuddering as you pulse, white-knuckle bunching his hoodie in your fists. Wave after wave of pleasure washes over you, walls clenching in rhythm around his unrelenting thrusts.
His hips stutter against your clenching, faltering when you fall apart in his arms. He slows— riding out your aftershocks, thumb still pressed against where you flutter and pulse.
“Shit,” he mutters, leaning back, drinking you in. “You’re so fucking beautiful when you come.”
You flush warm. “Don’t say that,” you stammer.
“Can’t help myself,” he replies gently, thumb circling you.
Shivering, you place a hand on his forearm, breath coming in short, uneven bursts.
“Josh— wait. Sensitive.”
He slows immediately, hands leaving you to cradle your back. “Sorry,” he says, softer. “Got carried away.”
You whimper when he spreads your thighs, an impossible stretch, and drives faster. Too much, too much, too—
“I know, I know,” he breathes. “Just a little longer. I— shit. I’m so close.”
His palms glide under your ass, fingers gripping, lifting and lowering you in a rhythm that’s all his, each rut drawing broken noises from both of you. When he finally lets go, with a collision that notches him deep, it’s with a groan that’s half your name half a sound that you’ll never forget. His breath is shaky, face wincing, as he pulses strongly inside of you, spilling into the condom.
For a long, stretched moment, the only sound is your mingled breathing, bodies still trembling in the aftershocks of strong-beating hearts, cock still twitching within you. The mountain air, cooler now against your sweat, grounds you. Eyes slipping closed as you collapse against his chest, his fingers up and down delicate over your spine.
“Jesus,” he says after a while, ragged when he catches his breath. There’s a subtle laugh to it, more out of disbelief than humour.
You mirror him, shaky and breathless when you laugh. “Yeah.”
The silence spreads thin again, palpable with a not-quite awkwardness, but heavy with something you can’t quite name. Slowly, you ease yourself upright, head lifting to meet his gaze. His eyes are softer now, reverent but searching as if looking for some reassurance.
“You okay?” He asks, voice careful, full of trepidation, a little earnest and vulnerable in a way that makes your chest ache.
You nod, smiling tiredly. “Yeah. I’m okay. You?”
“Better than okay,” he admits, grinning sheepishly but all dopamine-warm, sugary sweet in the afterglow. “Kinda feel like I should say thanks or something.”
“Please don’t.” You snort, rolling your eyes as you carefully pull away from him, hollow where he slips out of you soft and wet. Legs gelatinous when you stand, the high buzzing anxiously in your chest now you’ve settled.
He laughs with more strength now, lighter, more familiar. Some tension eases when you pull your shorts up, hyperaware of how exposed you are. You glance at him as he buttons his jeans, knotting and disposing of the condom discreetly.
For a moment, neither of you speak. He leans back on the railing, staring out at the mountains. You follow his gaze, letting the breeze fill the space between you.
“So,” he says after a beat. “We’re… good, right?”
When you glance at him, his expression is carefully neutral. Guarded, like he’s trying not to give too much away.
“We’re good,” you echo, lazy-lidded but mostly sober now.
“Good… good,” he trails off, hand knocking against the railing. “Don’t wanna make things weird, you know?”
“Bit late for that,” you tease, but then you lean next to him affectionately, platonically. “It’s not weird, Josh. It doesn’t have to be. Right?”
He turns to face you, his grin turning playful again. “Right.”
“Not getting cold feet, are you?”
“No, no— I don’t regret it, or anything,” he says, a flicker of uncertainty in his tone. “Just gotta make sure where we stand, you know?”
“Uh-huh,” you answer, not entirely convinced. “You just didn’t think I had it in me.”
He laughs, gaze dropping as colour rises on his face. “Shut… shut up.”
The quiet settles over you like the weight of the mist hanging over the mountains, heavy and expectant. Josh leans against the railing, his arms crossed as if he’s bracing himself, his gaze drifting to the lodge and then back to you. The air is cool now, biting against your sweat-slick skin, but his eyes— soft, searching— feel warmer than the sun.
A deep breath. You smell pine and mountain dew and a distinct linger of his cologne somewhere on your skin. When you open your eyes, he’s staring at you.
“You going back in, or… staying out here for a while?”
You glance over your shoulder where warm, inside light floods from the sliding doors. He looks on, expectantly. You have to practice some self-control when you speak, a near-melted puddle of organs and bliss from how he looks at you.
“I should probably head back in,” you reply.
His expression doesn’t falter, but the sweetness in his eyes dips a little.
“Yeah. Probably a good idea.”
You hesitate, caught in the lingering gravity between you. Thoughts bob like waves in your head, incessant badgering like: you’re high, it’s hormones, he’s just your friend’s brother.
But it’s not “just” anymore.
“Guess I’ll, uh… see you in the morning?” He says, uncertain as if unsure how to part ways.
You nod, trying to play it cool, but your heart flutters. “See you in the morning.”
He smiles faintly, the mischievous edge creeping back into his expression. “Sweet dreams.”
You roll your eyes as you leave, softened by his teasing demeanour, and you’re unable to bite back your smile.
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You feel like you’re floating in your bed, light and airy when you stare up at the ceiling. Mind anything but clear, higher now that you’re alone in the dark.
You try to steady your thoughts, but they keep drifting back to Josh: the curve of his throat, the way he looked at you like he wanted to know more. Cells, pulled apart, pressed onto a slide, microscopically observed.
The heat of his touch lingers on your skin, the ghost of his fingers and lips making your heart ache with something tangled and intangible. Anticipation? Guilt? Excitement?
The summer had barely started— and it already felt like it was spinning out of control. You’re swept up, dictated by the gravity of his shit-eating smile and the feel of him inside of you.
With a sigh, you close your eyes, the sound of the breeze outside lulling you into a restless sleep. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you wonder what tomorrow will bring— and whether Josh will be waiting for you with that same knowing smirk, with more favours to offer you.
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divider credits: @saradika-graphics mdni credits: me tag list (let me know if you want to be removed!): @imiqz, @fromjas, @luhvbot, @spinback-kiva, @nx2grace, @strwbrrynd, @fashominnie, @meeganmerkman222333, @arachine, @xxreginaxx, @xprloki, @screaming-potato, @onmyknees4kai,
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moonlightrafe · 4 months ago
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Delicate
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summary: On a dreaded night out with Aegon to forget his past, Aemond finds himself thinking of a future with you.
pairing: Modern!Aemond x Stripper!Reader
word count: 2.2k
warnings: Explicit smut, alcohol consumption, brief mention of drugs, sex work, dry humping, lactation kink, slight mommy kink, handjob, cum play 18+ MDNI
note: Tbh, idk what urged me to write this, (it was the photo of Ewan on the couch with the leopard print carpet) but shout out to Aegon for being a good wingman 🫡 I have a part 2 planned but only if people are interested
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Aemond Targaryen was never a fan of strip clubs. He viewed them as not only a waste of time, but a waste of money. Spending ungodly amounts on overpriced, watered down drinks. Just so some girl who pretended to be attracted to him, could dance on him for a couple of hours. He always left feeling impure while glitter and the scent of cotton candy body spray clung to his clothes. It just wasn’t his thing, he had better ways to spend his time. And yet, he found himself getting ready to go to one now, on a Tuesday night. With his heathen of a brother and his immature friends. What had become of him?
You’re on the opposite side of town, also getting ready for the evening. Hot steam and the scent of coconut invigorates your senses as you’ve just finished taking an ‘everything’ shower. You’re scrubbed to the bone, freshly exfoliated, shaved, and now lathering vanilla scented lotion onto your skin when your phone buzzes. Aegon Targaryen.
Aegon was your typical rich, spoiled, frat boy who frequented the club you worked at. Over the years he had become something more of a friend than a customer. He would sometimes bring you food, or weed, or a pack of cigarettes. He had even come to your defense when certain men would over step boundaries with you.
He was a good customer, gave a lot of money to the club – and to you. He wasn’t exactly your type but there was no denying he was attractive.
you workin tonight?
depends who’s asking 😈 jk … u know where to find me 💋
perfect. and not for me 😢 have a guy who needs a distraction. wear smth expensive!
oh? 👀🤨
money talks baby
yeah yeah 💸💦
It’s a rainy Tuesday night, you’re not sure why you agreed to pick up a shift in the first place. But you could use some extra cash, and your daughter is at her dad’s this week.
Even though the club you work at is one of the busiest in Kings Landing, you anticipate it to be an uneventful evening. Aegon coming in changes things, maybe you’ll have some sort of fun, and at the very least someone to talk to.
It’s just you and two other girls working tonight. There are three men sat around the stage as Floris dances, and Sara is occupied with a private dance in the back. As you predicted, a pretty slow night. You have the bartender make you a drink. You sit and tap on the glass waiting for some action when Aegon finally shows up.
He has a decent sized group of guys with him, most of which seem to already be under the influence. In order to not appear desperate you wait for Aegon to come to you.
“Lookin’ good, girl!” he calls, leaning in to hug you, “and you wore expensive perfume, that’s a good girl,” he flirts as he slides you a $50 bill, causing you to raise your eyebrows at him.
“Is this for… your friend?”
“Not a friend,” he states proudly, a devilish grin on his face, “my brother.”
You look past Aegon to the group of guys he sauntered in with, and then you spot him. A tall, lean guy with hair the same shade as Aegon’s; except his is much shorter, and styled neatly. He’s aimlessly scrolling his phone, barely looking around. You notice he has a pack of Marlboro Menthols in his hand. With a cool demeanor and a jawline chiseled to perfection by the Gods themselves, you are in for it.
He resembles Aegon for sure, though he is much more handsome.
“Gods, there’s two of you,” you groan jokingly.
“Actually, there’s four of us,” Aegon corrects, “but one’s sixteen and the other is a girl, our sister.”
Aegon hardly ever spoke of his family and when he did it was never in detail. All you knew was they were toxic, full of drama, lacking love, and filthy rich.
“Right. Well, what do I need to know about this one?”
“That’s Aemond. Go easy on him, will you? He’s a major nerd, hates all things fun, and the club isn’t really his scene — total opposite of me,” he notes, “but he’s been hung up on this older woman and I need him to get under someone else to get over her.”
You raise your eyebrows at him a second time, unsure of what you’re getting yourself into.
“What can I say? We’re a complicated bunch, but it’s nothing you can’t handle, right princess?”
You giggle at the pet name and he grins before he smacks you hard on the ass.
“Go get ‘em, tiger.”
You glance over in Aemond’s direction again, now he sips on an old fashioned, his grip tight on the glass while his expression remains unreadable.
You decide to head to the back to quickly freshen yourself up. You’ll need to mentally prepare yourself before sinking your paws into Aegon’s sexy-as-hell younger brother. You brush out your curls, pick away any dried mascara from below your eyelids and generously apply more perfume. Baccarat 540, it was expensive, thank you very much.
You take a large sip of your own drink before you saunter your way back out front and over to the table where he sits.
"Hey! You look like you could use a friend" you purr, “can I offer you a dance?"
Aemond looks over to Aegon who is giving him a thumbs up before looking at you. His eye scans your body.
"Um, yeah,” he finally responds, swallowing thickly, “yeah, you can.”
This time he smiles as he checks you out.
"You wanna go somewhere more private?" you offer in a whisper, motioning to one of the closed off rooms, "ya know away from prying eyes?"
"Sure," he replies and your perfectly manicured fingers wrap around his wrist, dragging him to one of the rooms. Once you’re alone, tucked away behind the velvet curtain, he takes it upon himself to take a seat on the leather couch.
“So how does this work?" he questions nonchalantly, taking a large sip of his old fashioned.
“You’ve never gotten a private dance before?” you ask him and he shakes his head as he swallows.
“Oh, well, I’m flattered,” you giggle, taking a seat next to him, feeling him out.
“Well, while we’re in here,” you say as you place your palm on his leg, “I’m all yours,” you smile.
“All mine, huh?”
“That’s right,” you soon come realize that Aemond isn’t even sure what he wants. You take a large sip of your drink, finishing it off in one gulp.
You discard your empty glass and slowly straddle Aemond’s lap, refusing to break eye contact as you move your body to the rhythm of the song the booms through the speakers. Your palms glide over his lean chest, teasing and tantalizing as you continue to sway your hips. Aemond keeps a firm grip on the couch, his hands not leaving his sides. You reach down and take them in yours.
“You can touch me, you know. I promise you won’t break me,” you encourage, guiding his hands up your body.
His hands are cold as they run up and down your stomach, but they cause a fire to ignite inside of you. His touch is more gentle than what you’re used to. He uses his thumbs to swipe over the sheer fabric of your bra against your nipples. You gasp under his touch but he quickly removes his hands from you, yet you feel his cock grow harder underneath you.
“Is something wrong?” you ask, your hands flying to your breasts, instantly feeling two damp spots there. Fuck.
It’s something you know is inevitable, but it doesn’t make it any less awkward. All of your regulars are already aware of your situation, but with someone new and unsuspecting, it’s an uncomfortable conversation. You’d found a lot of men are actually turned on by it, but there is always that chance that the current one won’t be.
“I – I’m so sorry. I don’t usually confide this, Aegon knows… but uh, I have a one year old who’s still breastfeeding.”
Aemond appears to be at a loss for words. You need to get up before he can reject you himself.
“Let me just—” He stares at you intently as you’re about to remove yourself from his lap. He is definitely caught off guard by your confession, but not in the negative way that you think.
“That’s no problem,” he says huskily as he composes himself, “you stay right here.”
His gaze is piercing as he keeps his hands firm on your hips, the cool metal of his rings digs into your flesh as he holds you in place in his lap.
“Alright, if you’re sure,” you mutter back to him, feeling relieved.
“Oh, I’m sure,” he tells you, the bulge in his pants evidently harder than it was earlier.
You study him carefully, there is a hunger in his eye that wasn’t there before, even moments ago. It’s as if his entire demeanor has changed. You figure you can use this to your advantage.
“I don’t usually do this, but I’m making an exception,” you tell him as you reach behind your back to unclasp your bra. You shimmy it off your shoulders and let it fall to the dirty floor.
“Because I’m Aegon’s brother?” he asks.
“No, because …. I want to.”
It was true, you didn’t normally get this intimate with customers, but something about Aemond was drawing you in.
Aemond’s eye widens as you reveal your glistening nipples to him. You squeeze at your breast lightly, grinding yourself into him, and he rewards you with a moan. your thumb around your nipple, gathering some of your milk onto it before rubbing it along Aemond’s lower lip. He eagerly accepts it into his mouth, sucking it harshly, nipping at your fingertip.
“You like that?”
“Mhm,” he groans against you, releasing your thumb before leaning forward into you. He smells good, expensive cologne and nicotine. His lips find their way to your neck, sending shivers of pleasure down your spine. His fingers ghost down your body, leaving a trail of heat in their wake. You arch into him, wanting more.
He continues to move at an agonizingly slow pace, taking his time with you as his lips make their way from your throat down to your chest. Your breath hitches once his tongue finally comes in contact with your nipple, lapping at the droplets of milk there. He takes your flesh into his mouth, gently suckling, careful not to apply too much pressure.
Your mind is going hazy as arousal leaks from your core, so you grind down harder on him, attempting to ease the ache between your legs.
Aemond continues to suckle at your breast, his tongue swirling around the sensitive bud as he drinks from you with ease. His eyes are closed, his mind completely lost to the sensation of you in his mouth. Your body trembles against him and he feels it, your small whimpers and moans urging him on.
He pulls away slowly, and you wince at the loss of contact. His lips leave a trail of wet kisses across your skin as he looks up at you with glassy eyes.
You lean back, positioning yourself so that you have access to the button of Aemond’s jeans.
“Can I?” you ask.
He nods his head eagerly, unbuttoning them for you and yanking the zipper down with quickness.
You slip your hand inside, beneath the waistband of his boxer briefs and wrap your hand around his length, tugging gently as your free hand flies to the back of his head, pulling at the hair at the nape of his neck.
Your hand slides at a steady pace against his shaft, squeezing gently. His thick veins pulsing underneath your fingertips.
“Fuck, M-mommy,” he moans.
Your eyes widen at his choice of words but they stir something sinister inside you, and what Aegon told you earlier rings in the back of your mind: “he’s been hung up on this older woman.”
It all clicks.
You kiss him soft and slow for a moment before pulling away.
“You wanna be a good boy and cum for mommy baby?”
“Yes! I’m — I’m good,” he stutters, rutting himself up into your palm.
Your hand works quicker as he finds himself back at your chest. Drinking from you like a man starved.
A few more languid pumps of his cock and he’s trembling beneath you. Shooting thick, pearly ropes into your hand. You move your hand down lower to cup and squeeze at his balls for a moment before bringing it back up to your mouth, licking away the salty remnants as Aemond shoves his cock back into his pants.
As if right on schedule, the timer you set on your phone to keep track of the time goes off.
“Well, looks like our time’s up,” you say with a frown.
“Looks like it,” he replies and the air swells with tension.
You turn to leave, hoping to give him a moment to gain his composure and get himself together but he yanks at your wrist.
“Wait! Let me take you out!” he blurts out at you, “on a date, a real one. Please.”
You bring your hand up to wipe a smudge of your lipgloss from the corner of his mouth.
“This was paid for, ya know?” You say empathetically and his eye darkens. Great. You’ve offended him.
“I know that,” he says sternly, “It’s just, I want to take you out. Please. Just one date.”
“One date,” you repeat.
“Yes,” he assures, his good eye gleaming.
“Okay.”
Something else you don’t usually do, date customers. These Targaryen’s are giving you a run for your money.
You give Aemond your phone number and you let him add his to your phone.
“I will text you,” he promises before he goes to exit the room. You follow him out and watch as he makes his way back to Aegon who is bright eyed and clapping at his brother.
You make eye contact with Aegon and he mouths something to you that you are unable to decipher.
What have you gotten yourself into?
815 notes · View notes
interloved · 5 months ago
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current status? just thinking about dark!qimir.
description box: just a little drabble about qimir from The Acolyte
warnings: nsfw warning, smut under the cut!, slightly toxic/possessive behaviour, dark!qimir thoughts, semi modern setting, MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!!
dark!qimir whose favourite position is to have you bent over in front of a mirror, one hand gripping into the soft and tender flesh of your hip, steadying you whilst his other arm wraps around your neck because he knows how feral you go for his arm muscles. he loves how you squeeze around him just a bit tighter, how your breathing becomes just a bit more irregular and how your cheeks tint in a slightly deeper shade of pink. he thinks you look angelic like this, this is, in his opinion, you in your loveliest form—splayed out beneath him, defenceless and helpless, as his fingers assault your cunt and he thrusts into you so deeply you’re sure he’s rearranged your insides.
dark!qimir who just can’t resist his primal urge to leave marks on you everywhere, everywhere for everyone to see. he needs everybody to know you’re his, that nobody else can have you. he brands you by leaving dark bruises on your neck, tits, thighs, everywhere you’ll let him mark you. he just can’t stand the thought of anyone else having you so much he needs to make sure no one even gets the idea to pursue you. of course, when somebody does have the stupid thought of trying to rip you away from qimir, he will neutralise them.
dark!qimir who loves hair gripping. whether you do it when he’s latching onto you or whether it’s when he drags your head back. one of his favourite memories is you, looking up at him, all doll-eyed and cheeks hollowed as your head is bobbing up and down, his hand resting on your head while you suck him off lovingly.
dark!qimir whose favourite pleasure to see is overstimulating you, pushing you to your very limits, ripping orgasm after orgasm out of you, regardless of your whining and pleading. you’re his good girl after all, aren’t you? just one more, darling. just one more. you can do that for him, can’t you?
dark!qimir who fucks you anywhere you’ll let him. he likes glancing at the kitchen counter, knowing it’s where he ate you out a week ago, or when he looks at your book shelf, knowing this is where he’d had you rough and raw just the night before, hands almost printed on your ass, legs in the air and wrapped around his waist as his arms lifted your weight as he fucked you against it.
dark!qimir who is strangely possessive about you for a man who claims he doesn’t care about you, especially about men. if you’re laughing with an old friend from your childhood and place your hand on that friend’s arm while you’re laughing at some joke of his, best believe he’ll have you jerking him off with that hand the whole night.
dark!qimir who likes seeing you wearing his shirts, shirts that are too big for you. he enjoys seeing the soft curve of your perky breasts slightly peaking through the fabric, likes seeing you fumble around awkwardly at the ends of his shirt, trying to pull them down a little bit more. trying to cover up how naked and exposed you look in nothing but his shirt.
dark!qimir who likes pushing you around during sex. who likes thrusting into you from the back just to turn you around in the middle of it and crash his lips onto yours as he pushes into you brutally.
dark!qimir who is anything but soft with you, but sometimes whispers the most intimate but also dirtiest words to you, lips brushing against your ear softly, to coax another orgasm out of you.
dark!qimir who, despite is cold and rough personality, can be so seductively charming and romantic it feels like he hates and loves you when he has his way with you. who, when he lovingly snaps and pushes his hips into yours, you’ll let him have his way with you, if it means having your brains fucked out so good it’ll feel like you’ve taken a drug.
dark! qimir who will ruin you for any other man you may have after him. if they shall live long enough to have the pleasure of having you.
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cherienymphe · 1 year ago
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Teenage Dirtbag II (JJ Maybank x Reader x Rafe Cameron)
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Warnings: NON-CON, DUB-CON, abusive relationship, domestic violence, violence (+ gun violence), gun kink, dacryphilia, attempted murder, mentions of blood, public sex, jealousy, manipulation, infidelity, underage drinking, drug use, canon ages, kook!reader
➥ banner by @vase-of-lilies | ➥ divider by @firefly-graphics
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➥ series masterlist
summary: You’re charmingly spoiled. You’re too kind for your own good. You’re the princess of Figure 8 …and you’re way out of JJ Maybank’s league, but when he realizes that Rafe Cameron’s pride and joy is actually a bruised and battered damsel, he’s determined to save you.
Your rescue just comes with a price.
~
“Why was JJ even trying to give you some drink, anyway?”
You resisted the urge to sigh, anticipating such a question the moment the topic had swung back around to the party from last week. You kept your gaze on your lip gloss, dipping it once then twice before looking up into the mirror. You could hear Rafe pause in his movements, no doubt waiting for an answer, and this time you finally did heave a breath.
“I don’t know, Rafe. I told you this,” you said to him, turning to look at him as he sat on the edge of his bed.
You watched him study you, that blue gaze of his oh so unnerving, and you weren’t the least bit relieved when he simply hummed.
“I know,” he finally replied, tongue pressing to the inside of his cheek. “…but I have a right to wonder. Especially since you’ve never spoken to him a day in your life before that night.”
Rolling your eyes, you turned to swipe the sticky product over your lips, recalling that it was one of Rafe’s favorite shades. The conversation had the potential to slip into dangerous territory, derailing your entire night, and you mulled over your next words carefully.
“He was probably just trying to get a rise out of you,” you honestly murmured, looking at your boyfriend. “…and it worked.”
You merely shrugged at him as he scoffed.
“I mean, he’s way more familiar with you than me. Probably just wanted to piss you off.”
You turned the light off in his bathroom, making your way towards your shoes as you desperately hoped this conversation would come to an end soon. The topic of other men was one that rarely ended nonviolently, and you didn’t know how Rafe got it into his head that the antics of JJ Maybank had anything to do with you when everyone on this entire island knew how much they hated each other. A year ago, you barely even knew the other blonde’s name.
“Well, it worked,” Rafe confessed, coming over to help you put on your other shoe. “You’re too good to even be talking to trash like that, so yeah. It pissed me off.”
At the look on your face, Rafe continued, shaking his head.
“I know what you’re thinking, and you really don’t need to go around feeling sorry for guys like that. He’s not the down on his luck kid you think he is,” he advised, pulling you to your feet. “Him and all of Sarah’s little buddies are nothing but trouble.”
Rafe took his time telling you this, making sure you heard every word, and you only felt compelled to nod as he placed a brief kiss on your lips. Rafe swiped up your purse for you as he pulled you out of the room. You felt safer with Rafe in his house than you did in your own, but Ward’s careful eye on his son had never been foolproof. There’d been plenty of times Rafe gave you a sprained wrist or bruised jaw in his very own bedroom.
It's just that in his desire to be more careful within the Cameron household, he sometimes decided that it wasn’t even worth it.
“Where are you two off to?” Sarah wondered as you came face to face with her in the living room.
You hadn’t even known she was home, and when it became clear that Rafe wasn’t going to answer her, you did.
“To a movie.”
The smile you sent her was small, and she reluctantly returned it before settling her gaze on her brother. You didn’t miss the way her eyes narrowed, lips pursing a tad. They never got along, but considering recent events, you knew what this particular disagreement was about to be about.
“JJ’s nose is still pretty messed up, you know.”
At that, Rafe did finally acknowledge her, stopping to face her with a challenging look you knew all too well. He tilted his head to the side, one brow raised.
“That sounds like something that isn’t my problem,” he shrugged, and you softly told him that you needed to go in an attempt to avoid whatever this was, but he ignored you.
“God, you’re such an asshole, you know that? JJ just offered your girlfriend a drink and so you broke his nose? Yeah, ‘cause that makes sense,” Sarah murmured, shaking her head as she looked back down at her phone.
You squeezed Rafe’s arm, but he merely sneered at his sister.
“JJ’s a little shit who likes to look for trouble wherever he goes. Not my fault he found it,” Rafe spat, pulling you along before Sarah could reply.
His quiet disposition and tight grip on your hand told you how annoyed he was at Sarah’s reminder of JJ and that night, and you mentally wondered if this was going to be a little thing or something that affected your whole night. Maybe even the next one too. He said nothing when he helped you into his truck, and so you were unsurprised that he was quiet his whole way to the movie too.
You were thankful this was the date of choice because it was easier to ignore Rafe’s mood when your eyes were glued to the screen. In fact, there were moments you forgot he was even there, giggling to whatever was going on in front of you. Once the movie was over, however, Rafe’s uncharacteristic silence was hard to ignore.
Knowing that you’d regret it, you finally spoke up when you made it back to his truck.
“I feel like you’re mad at me for some reason.”
It sounded silly to your ears, but then again, you knew your boyfriend like the back of your hand, and as little sense as it made, you had the sneaking suspicion that he put some blame with you somehow.
“Not mad,” he murmured, and you simply looked at him.
His gaze and the tightness in his jaw said otherwise, and despite his evident annoyance, he still claimed otherwise. He was silent as he opened your door—his irritation growing the longer you stared at him—and when he blinked, straightening, you finally slid inside. You weren’t surprised to have the door slammed in your face, and you could only sigh when he joined you.
The first few minutes of the drive were as quiet as before, but when Rafe finally cracked, you could only close your eyes.
“Why did you even want to go that night, anyway?” he bitterly chuckled.
You turned to look out of the window with a defeated heave of your shoulders, swallowing.
“You’ve never wanted to go before, and even then, some bonfire on the beach isn’t your thing. You go to house parties with pools and prissy bitches who don’t want to get their hair wet,” he sneered, making you look at him. “Yeah, JJ might’ve wanted to piss me off, but it was you he chose to do it through.”
“So…what…? It’s my fault? I should’ve never gone with you, is that what you’re saying?”
You frowned at him when he glanced at you, dirty blond hair kissing his forehead, and Rafe’s silence spoke volumes. Against your will, you felt your throat tightening, and you were unsurprised when tears kissed your eyes. You hated crying in front of Rafe.
“I just wanted to go, Rafe. I’d never been, and…it’s not like I have any friends to go with anymore. Would you have rather I’d gone alone?”
“Don’t be cute,” he threw at you, tossing you a scathing look. “You wouldn’t even get the chance to try.”
You huffed, looking away from him as he continued, watching the trees fly by.
“Besides, I thought we both agreed that your friends were catty airheads who you didn’t need to be around,” Rafe firmly said. “You have better friends, now.”
“Those are your friends,” you sighed. “…and I know because they barely talk to me. I’m just your girlfriend who’s supposed to stand there and look pretty.”
Those last words came out in a murmur, but Rafe heard them loud and clear.
“You’d have nothing to complain about if you didn’t ask to go in the first place.”
His words made your frown deepen, and despite what you wanted, a few tears escaped. You looked at him in disbelief, although, you didn’t know why. You should’ve been perfectly used to the words that came out of his mouth, sometimes, now.
“What am I supposed to do, Rafe?” you cried. “Just sit in my room, twiddling my thumbs until you come back?”
When he looked at you, he rolled those blue eyes of his, a scoff leaving his perfect lips.
“I don’t have time for the antics, tonight,” he breathed.
Now, it was your turn to scoff.
“You started it,” you pointed out.
You knew that you were already on thin ice, you could tell, but when Rafe cut his eyes back to you, your heart skipped a beat. You watched your boyfriend swipe his tongue between his lips, slowly nodding as he looked back at the road.
“Okay…” the truck started to slow as he inhaled. “Yeah, okay.”
You felt the hairs on your arms stand on end as he stopped in the middle of the road. It was late, so it wasn’t like the roads of Kildare County were littered with traffic, but it still made you nervous, nonetheless. You watched Rafe turn the truck off, and before you could say anything he was looking at you.
“Get out.”
His words made you blink, lips parting before snapping them shut.
“…what?”
One of Rafe’s arms leaned on the steering wheel while his other hand rested behind your headrest. Even in the darkness, there was a glint in his eyes that told you he was completely serious despite the insanity of the request. The atmosphere in the truck felt so tense—thick with it—and you pulled your lip between your teeth when Rafe leaned in, gaze cold and mocking.
“You said I started it? Well, now I’m finishing it. Get the fuck out of my truck,” Rafe quietly spat at you, making you flinch.
An incredulous bark of a laugh escaped you.
“Rafe, it’s the middle of the night, are you crazy?”
At your refusal to do what he asked, he merely turned away, opening his door. Your heart fell to your stomach as you watched him hurry to your side, yanking the door open and proceeding to yank you too.
“Rafe! What the hell-?”
Your words were cut off as you were forced to stumble out of the vehicle and into the road—without your purse. When he roughly shoved you away, you tripped over your own feet, hissing in pain as you barely caught yourself on your hands. Rafe was already back in his truck by the time you pushed yourself to your feet, and in shock, you watched him start it up. You’d only just reached the handle of the door when he sped off, and you screamed his name after him in a mix of fear and anger.
You couldn’t even really focus on the knowledge that you were in the middle of an empty stretch of road in the middle of the night. You were too angry and annoyed to, and with a sob, you pressed your face into your hands. You sniffed, wiping your face before wrapping your arms around yourself and looking around.
You knew that trying to go toe to toe with Rafe even just a little could prove to be disastrous. You just desperately wanted him to understand that all you had was him. With no friends and no social life outside of him, Rafe was all you had, and you weren’t the bad guy for simply wanting to go to a party with him. You knew he knew this though, so you didn’t even know why you bothered, but you just hated to be blamed for something JJ Maybank did solely because he and Rafe hated each other.
You were merely a tool in the incident.
Rafe was so childish sometimes, so this little display of anger shouldn’t have surprised you. Even still, your nerves were on end as you started to walk down the road. Like you’d thought earlier, there was no traffic in sight, and truthfully, nothing in Outer Banks was that far from anything else, but that didn’t matter in the grand scheme of things.
You wiped your face again, but fresh tears just fell.
It was cold, and while your jacket kept you from shaking, this still wasn’t the kind of weather to be walking down the street in. You couldn’t stop crying no matter how much you tried, debating with yourself if you wanted to just keep walking towards your house or try your chances with getting sympathy from some stranger. You knew what Rafe would prefer—and you knew what was statistically safer—but something in you wanted to piss him off further.
After all, he was the one who threw a tantrum and put you out on the side of the road in the middle of the night. Something in you was desperate to teach him a lesson, and you genuinely wondered what Rafe would do if you just…never came home. You wanted to see the look on his face when your parents called him asking if he’d seen you. However, something in you told you that he wouldn’t be as stricken as you’d think.
This was the same man who threatened to kill you on several occasions.
…but that was different.
That had always been when you tried to leave or even made him think you would leave. That was always said as a promise to make you stay, and even worse, that was when your demise would be at his hands. Rafe wouldn’t get the same satisfaction from leaving you to the mercy of the elements and strangers in the middle of the night.
You were just wiping more tears away when you could see headlights coming from the other end of the road. You weren’t on that side, so you weren’t all that concerned, and despite your earlier bleak thoughts, you actually didn’t relish getting in some stranger’s car and hoping he was honest enough to just take you where you needed to go.
However, your heart did sink a little when it became clear the vehicle was slowing down.
…but your worry morphed into irritation when you recognized the truck.
Rolling your eyes, you merely kept walking as Rafe slowed down enough to have a conversation with you. Or at least attempt to, anyway. You didn’t look at him, swallowing and keeping your tearful eyes straight ahead as you walked.
“Baby, get in the truck.”
“Why?” you wondered with a shrug. “You’re the one who kicked me out.”
“I don’t have time for this,” you heard him mumble. “Y/N, get in the truck.”
Against your better judgement, you ignored him, and Rafe stopped reversing to put the vehicle in park. You picked up your pace when you heard his door open, but Rafe was faster, and you could only attempt to pull away when he roughly grabbed your arm. Yanking you towards him, Rafe didn’t hesitate to push you against the side of the truck, making you wince.
His hold was so tight on your arm, and you shrank away from him when he pressed his nose to yours. His chest and shoulders were heaving, so you knew that he was beyond annoyed, now, but the stubborn part of you that reared its ugly head sometimes only stared back at him with trembling lips.
“I really don’t have time for this, tonight,” he whispered. “Get in the fucking truck, so we can go home.”
“You kicked me out! You go home…and I’ll just walk,” you tearfully spat, attempting to get out of his hold. “It’s what you wanted, anyway.”
Rafe’s impatience was bleeding through as you tried to get past him. One of his arms secured itself around your waist, the other gripping your arm as you attempted to grab that one. You were a mess of limbs and tears as you begged him to let go of you, Rafe’s low voice telling you to get it together.
You weren’t surprised when you found yourself harshly thrown to the ground.
You cried out when your chin bounced off of the pavement, unable to stop your fast descent in time. You heard Rafe curse from above you as a loud sob escaped, and you reached up to touch your chin, attempting to push yourself up. Rafe—in his haste—beat you to it though, grabbing you and forcing you to your feet. You could feel wetness on your chin as he forced you to the passenger side, quite literally shoving you into the truck.
You flinched when he slammed the door shut, tearful gaze focused on the glove compartment as he angrily joined you. When he told you to put on your seatbelt, you reluctantly did with trembling fingers, a choked cough escaping as you tried to stop crying. You couldn’t.
Rafe didn’t say a word to you the whole way back to his house, but you could feel his gaze on you every now and then. He didn’t turn on the radio, the only sound in the vehicle was that of your harsh wails. When he finally did stop in his yard, you both sat there for some time before a long sigh reached your ears.
“You know how I get,” you eventually heard him say. “You know I wouldn’t just…leave you out there.”
You didn’t say anything because you had nothing to say. You heard him shift, and you flinched again when the tips of his fingers grazed your face, his other hand coming up to gently take your chin. Turning you to face him, you watched his blue eyes roam over your face, taking in your tearful cheeks and bloody chin.
“I’m sorry.”
Not only was it something you’d heard a million times before, but you also knew that it was solely in reference to your face. Rafe wasn’t apologizing for kicking you out on the side of the road in the middle of the night. Why would he apologize for that when he felt that was justified? When you said nothing in response, he opted for getting out, and when he opened your door, you hesitated before taking his offered hand.
Once you were standing before him, he wrapped an arm around you, pulling you against him. You felt him press his lips into your hair, deeply inhaling. He quietly apologized again, and his words hung in the air as you knew what he wanted. Sniffling, you nodded.
“It’s okay,” you whispered. “It was an accident.”
It wasn’t…because even if Rafe hadn’t explicitly tried to make you bleed, he had intended to hurt you. In these moments, in the aftermath of whatever else Rafe did, it was so easy to think to yourself that you’d leave him. It was almost too easy to hype yourself up, but then you’d think about how it felt to be on the receiving end of that emotionless stare, dead eyes gazing back at you. You’d think about the fear you’d feel whenever his hand was round your neck.
…or the feel of the barrel of a gun in your mouth.
It was so easy until you remembered that Rafe would actually kill you, and you’d learned a long time ago that Rafe wasn’t one to bluff.
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You were making something to eat when you heard someone coming down the stairs, and when you glanced up, you weren’t surprised to make eye contact with Sarah. You knew she was home, and you’d heard her friends downstairs not too long ago. You surmised that they were outside waiting for her judging by her state of undress.
“Oh,” she said, sounding a little startled to see you. “I didn’t know you were still here. Where’s Rafe?”
She glanced towards the stairs, and you confirmed her suspicions that he was indeed gone.
“He went to the club with Kelce and Topper.”
You gave her a shrug, answering her silent question.
“I didn’t really feel like going.”
It wasn’t a lie, but you also knew that even if you did feel like going, it probably wouldn’t have gone over well. The last time you went to the country club with Rafe, it didn’t exactly end the best. Running into some of his more casual friends had apparently sparked a conversation that you unfortunately bore the brunt of. It amazed you, really, how Rafe wanted both an attractive girlfriend his friends could envy him for while also losing his mind if said friends dared to say it.
“Oh,” she said again, a little more dejected this time.
Your attention was focused on your food, so you didn’t even realize Sarah was still lingering about until she spoke again.
“We’re going to the beach,” she suddenly blurted out, and you’d guessed as much at the sight of her bikini top. “You should come with us.”
At that you paused, giving her a questionable look that conveyed exactly what you were thinking. Sarah sighed, dropping her bag to the floor before nearing you with a roll of her eyes.
“I know that we’re not friends,” she slowly started, scrunching her face. “…but you’ve been dating my brother for like, what, two years?”
You glanced down at that.
“…and…I know it’s not my place, but you just seem lonely sometimes,” she hurried to continue when your gaze met hers. “I mean, I never really see you do anything that doesn’t involve Rafe. At least, not anymore.”
You swallowed at that.
“Come on, he’s at the stupid country club with his friends, and you’re just waiting for him to get back. Surely, you can’t like that.”
Sarah was more right than she knew, but you swallowed that down.
“I told you, Sarah, I didn’t want to go. I’m fine just hanging out here. I like being at your house,” you chuckled.
Sarah looked like she wanted to say something else but thought better of it. However, she did eye you though with a look you couldn’t place, and you sent her a reassuring smile as you grabbed your plate.
“You guys have fun,” you encouraged, touching her arm on your way past her.
You wondered how pathetic you’d become if your boyfriend’s younger sister was extending a hesitant offer of friendship. Granted, it wasn’t like she was outside your age group or anything, because she wasn’t, but the other circumstances surrounding your relationship just made it seem sad on your end. Your boyfriend’s little sister wanted to make up for how her brother treated you, and it was laughable in the worst way.
You were pulled from your thoughts by the sound of the hallway bathroom door opening, and you sharply inhaled as you almost quite literally ran into the last person you ever expected to see in the Cameron household. Now, you understood why Sarah had been worriedly eyeing the stairs as she asked if Rafe was home.
JJ Maybank looked just as startled to see you, but he recovered quicker than you did.
“Sorry,” you rushed out, breaking eye contact and moving to get past him.
You slowed when you recalled your brief glance at his face, guilt eating at you at the bruising that was still faint around the area of his nose. Briefly pressing your fingers to your forehead, you turned around, a little shocked to find the blond already staring at you. That discovery gave you pause, but you quickly pushed it aside.
“I’m sorry, by the way.”
You watched him raise his brows at you, but JJ otherwise said nothing, and so you elaborated.
“About your nose,” you told him, and JJ nodded in understanding. “Sure, you were being…a bit of a jerk, but Rafe shouldn’t have done that.”
At your words, you watched something flicker over his features, and the corner of his lips curved upwards just enough to be noticeable.
“You thought I was being an asshole,” he pointed out, and you snorted.
“I didn’t say that-.”
“…but it’s what you meant,” he slowly interrupted, stepping towards you.
You took note of the action, frowning a bit before glancing away.
You knew that Rafe would throw you down the stairs for even looking at JJ Maybank, let alone having a full-blown conversation with him, but the polite manner in which you’d been raised wouldn’t let you walk by the guy without saying anything in reference to Rafe’s behavior that night. Choosing to let the conversation die, you sighed.
“I just wanted to apologize for how he acted. That’s all.”
You gave him a strained smile before turning away, pausing when he spoke.
“You know, your boyfriend’s a bit of an asshole too.”
You tensed for half a second before turning to face him, stomach twisting at that mocking curve to his lips. Blinking, you wondered how to respond to that.
“That’s your opinion.”
“One you agree with,” he argued with a slow smile, studying your face as he pulled his lip between his teeth. “I can tell. You think he’s an asshole too. If you didn’t, you wouldn’t be apologizing on his behalf.”
Maybe it was because Rafe took JJ’s actions that night out on you, but you actually felt yourself getting irritated.
“I wouldn’t have to apologize for anything if you hadn’t been trying to provoke him. We all know what he’s like, and you two don’t exactly have the best history,” you shrugged.
The other man didn’t respond right away, simply leaning against the wall with one hand shoved into his pocket. You felt a little self-conscious the longer he stared at you, doubly so when his blue gaze lowered. Having expected no one outside of immediate family to be in the house, you were only sporting one of Rafe’s shirts. It came down to your knees, but in front of JJ, you might as well had been wearing a thong.
It's how Rafe would see it, anyway.
“Is that what you do?”
At your blink of confusion, he continued.
“When he’s being…well…Rafe, do you tell yourself that’s just how he is and you know what he’s like and so you should know better?”
JJ’s words struck a nerve, more than he’d ever know, and you glanced away. You guessed that your silence was answer enough, and when you looked back to him, he was nodding to himself.
“Sounds to me like you need a better boyfriend,” he told you with an amused smile, shrugging at you.
Realizing that this conversation went far beyond what you intended, you chose not to dignify that with a response. You could still feel the heat of his gaze as you walked to Rafe’s room, and when you paused with your hand on the knob, you glanced up to catch his eye. JJ hadn’t moved, at all, simply opting to stare at you, blond hair messy in a way that Rafe’s would never be.
You recalled what Rafe said about JJ being trouble, and it was only then did you consider he might be trouble in a way you hadn’t thought about before. When the sound of Sarah’s voice traveled upstairs, JJ’s name in the air, only then did he glance over his shoulder, and you took that opportunity to lock yourself inside of your boyfriend’s room.
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seresinhangmanjake · 8 months ago
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Simon "Ghost" Riley x Soap's Sister!Reader
Summary: You and Simon had been keeping your relationship a secret from your brother. You were happy, in love, but that all ended the moment Johnny found Simon in your bed.
Notes/warnings: Part 1 of 2. Mention of sexual acts. Angst. Fluff and smut in next part. Typos, I'm sure.
Words: 709
Part 2
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You were Johnny’s sister. That alone should have been enough to ensure Simon kept his distance. And that was the plan, as staying away from you would've been the right thing to do; the respectful choice to make concerning the sister of his friend. But once he saw you, all of those thoughts vanished. 
You’d greeted him and Johnny at the door of the Mactavish home with a huge smile spread across your face, illuminating the shade of your eyes, and that was it. Simon was a goner. And to think just seconds prior, he hadn't wanted to come to the annual Mactavish family gathering. 
When offered Johnny’s invitation, Simon had turned him down. He didn’t do parties. He didn’t do loud chattering or large groups—around fifty bodies, Johnny had told him—and he didn’t appreciate hoards of questions hurtling his way. It took a half-hour of borderline begging from Johnny before Simon agreed, simply to get his friend to shut up. 
The drive over was agonizing with Johnny practically bouncing from the excitement of seeing his family all in one place for the first time in years, as Simon sat in the passenger seat with his arms crossed over his chest, anticipating the worst. But then there you were. So beautiful that he forgot his hatred for organized events with people he didn’t know. So gorgeous, and he quickly discovered not lacking in wit and intelligence. While Johnny mingled, you had Simon’s attention in a chokehold—an arousing pressure tight round his neck he never wanted relief from.
He had met pretty women before; funny and smart women, but not like you. Nothing like you. However, it would've been better had you revealed yourself to be dull. If you were dull he could've walked away. He could've avoided the guilt that sunk in when he noticed how Johnny didn't bother to pay attention to the dwindling space between your body and Simon's as the night progressed. Johnny didn't bother because he trusted his friend to do the right thing, as he would trust any teammate that he shared a brotherly bond with.
But Simon was not Johnny's brother. He was not your brother. He was your admirer, your pursuer, and eventually, your lover, just as you became his. A lover that ignited a fire in his belly he’d only ever heard about from Price and Gaz when speaking about their women. He never wanted to let you go. But that bliss ended the moment Johnny found him bare in your bed while you were rinsing off his cum in the shower. 
As he shot up in bed, Simon had two thoughts: how did he not sense someone coming into your apartment, and how did he not hear the knock at your bedroom door that, after going unanswered, prompted Johnny to enter out of concern. But there was a simple explanation. Simon was too sated, too drugged out on you, too exhausted and half asleep after a long morning of sex to register any sound other than your soft humming from the en suite.
Johnny’s face had descended into pure anger—nothing like Simon had ever seen—and he knew there were no excuses to give. Not for the scene, the circumstances, or the lies told in the hope Johnny would never know about the time you spent together behind his back. There were no words as the best thing in Simon's life shattered to bits.
He’d lost his best mate that day, and because of the fit Johnny threw at learning Simon had been sleeping with you for months, he’d lost you as well. He had tried his damnedest to keep you—Love, you’re a grown woman; you can make your own choices; he’ll come around—but all you did was shake your head, tears streaming down your cheeks and dripping onto the floor as you reminded him that hurting Johnny was one of the deal-breakers. 
He’d left your apartment with his fingers fisted in his hair, knowing that was the last time he was going to see you. And that had proved true over the following three months. He’d not heard from you. No calls, no texts, no bloody emails. You were done, gone, and Simon was stumbling through a world without you.
A/N: Fluff and smut next part. Thanks for reading 🥰
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cameronsprincess · 1 year ago
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— summary: being under the influence with Rafe Cameron makes for an interesting night.
— pairing: Rafe Cameron x Kook!Fem!Reader
— warnings: smut! 18+ oral (f & m receiving), fingering, slight dacryphilia, dom!rafe??, some choking and smacking, hair pulling, rafe praising reader, slight degradation, unprotected p in v sex (wrap it up!), reader and rafe under the influence of coke and alcohol, strong language. lmk if i missed anything!
DISCLAIMER: I do NOT condone the use of cocaine or other drugs! Mixing cocaine with alcohol or other drugs can be hazardous to your health, and is NOT safe. This story is fiction!
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❥ under the influence- r.c
You had done a lot of fucked up things in your life. But this moment, right now, wrists cuffed to Rafe Cameron’s bed while he goes down on you while you’re under the influence of cocaine and alcohol.. Yeah, this tops it all.
“Rafe, shit, s’good, so fucking good”
You’re a whimpering mess, Rafe lapping at your soaked core like a man starved, the cuffs digging further into your wrists with every movement you make.
You moan loudly when he wraps his lips around your puffy clit, sucking on it lightly as his dark eyes meet yours, his middle and index fingers sliding through your slick folds before being buried deep inside you.
“Fuck!”
He curves his fingers slightly, hitting your g-spot over and over again, each thrust of his fingers and flick of his tongue pushing you closer and closer to your release.
“Gonna cum, Rafe! S-so fucking clo- ahhh”
Your eyes squeeze shut, legs shaking uncontrollably as your body jerks forward, your release squirting out of you, making a mess all over Rafe’s fingers and face.
Rafe slows the pace of his fingers, releasing your clit with a pop as he slowly fucks you through your high.
Your body falls limp, Rafe pulling his fingers from inside you, pulling a groan from your lips at the empty feeling.
“Holy shit. You fucking squirted, that’s fuckin’ hot, Y/N”
You turn your head to the side, cheeks tinting a shade of pink as your body heats up from his words.
“Not to boost your ego more than it already is, but.. I’ve never done that before”
Rafe lifts himself up, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand before leaning forward to release your wrists from the cuffs.
“Well, I am pretty good at what I do” He jokes, his lips upturned into a smirk as he watches you pull your wrists down, rubbing them softly to try and soothe the pain from being confined for so long.
You open your mouth to speak, but quickly shut it when Rafe harshly grips the back of your hair, pulling you toward him and smashing his lips to yours.
You moan into his mouth, the taste of yourself on his tongue when he slips it into your mouth making the ache between your thighs grow once more.
He pulls you from his mouth, fingers tightly gripping your hair as his dark, blue orbs scan your face erratically.
“You wanna cum again?”
You bite at your bottom lip, nodding your head quickly as you stare at him through hooded eyes.
“Use your fucking words, Y/L/N”
“Y-yes! I want to cum again, p-please let me cum again”
He chuckles darkly, moving you off the bed and onto your knees as he settles at the side of the bed, removing his boxers and tossing them haphazardly onto his bedroom floor.
“Pathetic little cock slut. You’re going to suck me off, and then maybe I’ll let you cum again, yeah?”
You nod your head, regretting it instantly when he wraps his fingers in your hair again, yanking your neck back harshly.
“What did I say about using your words?”
“S-sorry, R-rafe. I’ll do whatever y-you want”
You feel the tears welling up in your eyes, the grip he has on your hair so tight it was making your vision blurry.
“Good girl, go on. Cry. It turns me on to see you cry”
You let the tears fall down your face, Rafe releasing the grip on your hair and lightly smacking at your cheek.
“Open up”
You open your mouth wide, laying your tongue out flat as he strokes himself slowly, tapping your tongue with the head of his cock frequently.
You replace his hand with your own, slowly stroking him, leaving soft kitten licks on the head before you shove him completely down your throat.
“Oh shit”
You find a slow rhythm, bobbing your head up and down his thick, veiny cock, swirling your tongue around the head and watching him squirm underneath your touch.
He weaves his fingers into your hair, tugging on it lightly and thrusting his hips, slowly fucking himself deeper into your mouth.
You gag around him when the tip of his dick hits the back of your throat. You feel new tears forming in your eyes, letting them fall down your face as you let him take control, thrusting himself harshly into your throat.
“Just like that, such a good fucking girl, letting me fuck your face”
You take one hand and squeeze at his balls, letting your free hand fall down and play with your clit, wanting to relieve some of the pressure you were feeling between your legs.
He tightens the grip on your hair once more, keeping you still as he begins harshly fucking himself into your mouth, pulling a string of muffled moans and gags from you.
“So good, so fucking sexy with my dick shoved down your throat- Fuck- I’m gonna cum in this pretty little mouth of yours, and then, I’m gonna fill that pretty little pussy up, you want that?”
He releases the grip on your hair, his hands moving to tightly grip at your shoulders as his thrusts become sloppy. His hips stutter, dick twitching in your mouth as he spills his hot cum down your throat.
He pulls himself from your mouth, bringing his hand up to caress your jaw, stroking the skin softly before running the pad of his thumb across your bottom lip.
“Does the pathetic little slut still want to be fucked?”
“Y-yes please”
His lips upturn into a smirk, his hand running down your chest and cupping your bare breast in his large hands, fingers toying with your pebbled nipples.
“Stand up, bend over the bed”
You do as you’re told, standing from your place on the floor and laying over the side of the bed.
You cry out when you feel him smack your ass, making you jump forward slightly before he lands another smack.
“So fucking pretty, such a shame though, because I’m about to fucking ruin you”
“Ruin me, Rafe! Make me a babbling pathetic mess, p-please!”
You hear him let out a dark chuckle, a whine escaping your lips when you feel him running his swollen head through your slick folds.
You push your ass out farther, craving the feel of him stretching you out.
He smacks your ass again. “Tsk, be patient, or I won’t fuck you, got it?”
“Yes sir, I’m s-sorry”
“Such a good girl, listens so well” Rafe praises, sinking himself inside you and making you gasp loudly at the intrusion.
“Fuck! Rafe, feels so fucking good, s-so big”
He places both hands tightly on your hips, holding you steady as he begins snapping his hips into yours, fucking himself deep inside your aching cunt.
“So fucking tight, you take me so well, baby girl. This greedy little pussy is fucking swallowing me, don’t think I’ll last very long if you keep gripping me like that”
You moan loudly, fucking yourself back onto him, your hips meeting his thrusts perfectly.
“Right there, Rafe! Fuuuck, you feel so good, it’s too much”
“You can take it, doing so fucking good, my pathetic little girl”
You’re a sobbing mess, your mind hazy, a mix of pleasure and all the cocaine and alcohol you had ingested making you see stars.
“Gonna cum, Rafe! Can I p-please cum?”
Rafe runs one hand up your side, tightly gripping your throat and pulling your back against his chest.
“Wanna be my good girl?”
You moan when he hits your g-spot, his cock hitting that sweet spot inside you over and over again making tears run uncontrollably down your face, making it hard to focus on anything except the fire that was running through your body.
“Wanna be your good girl”
“Then don’t cum, not yet. Can you do that f’me?”
You squeeze your eyes shut, fingers digging into the skin of his arms as you try and focus on his words, trying to keep your orgasm at bay.
“I- Fuck- I d-don’t think I can hold it, R-rafe. Feels too good”
“You can baby, just wait, I’ll let you cum soon, promise”
You throw your head back onto his shoulder, hips meeting his thrusts as he smashes his lips to yours, tongue slipping into your mouth, swallowing every moan you make.
He pulls away from your mouth, his hips beginning to stutter as his thrusts grow sloppy.
You feel his dick twitch inside you, the hot, white ropes of his release painting your inner walls.
“You can cum, princess. Make a fucking mess all over my cock”
His words mixed with his release filling you up was all it took for your release to wash over you in body shaking, earth shattering bliss.
Rafe slowly thrusts into you two more times before he pulls himself from inside you, letting your body fall onto his mattress, limp and exhausted.
You hear him disappear into the bathroom, returning a few moments later with a warm washcloth, softly cleaning your inner thighs.
Once he’s finished, you lift yourself from your place on the bed, watching Rafe intently as he gets himself dressed again.
“So thanks for that, I guess we go back to hating each other now?” You ask, moving to find your clothes that had been tossed randomly around his room.
He turns to face you, a look on his face that you can’t quite read.
“Fuck no, you’re mine now. No one else can fucking touch you, got it?”
You smirk at him, tossing your shirt back over your head and walking towards him and placing a kiss to the back of his hand.
“I was hoping you’d say that”
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rafe masterlist | taglist form
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greengoblinswifey · 12 days ago
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𝑭𝒂𝒎𝒆’𝒔 𝑬𝒅𝒈𝒆 ・₊✧🩶 Part I
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Pairing— Nicholas Chavez x Model!Reader
Warnings— Mentions of drugs and alcohol, Substance Use, Mature Themes.
A/N— Comment to be a part of the tag list, hope you enjoy this series <3
Series Masterlist
The glossy conference room table reflected the headline of the magazine tossed unceremoniously in front of you.
“America’s New Wild Child: From Runways to Rock Bottom”
Below it was a photo of you stumbling into a hotel lobby, visibly intoxicated, mascara smeared, and your once-iconic dress askew. It wasn’t just one headline, it was everywhere. Every blog, tabloid, and gossip page seemed to have some variation of your downfall plastered across their pages.
Your manager, Angela, sighed heavily from across the table, rubbing her temples. “You see this, right? The Shade Room picked it up. TMZ is all over it. Even Vogue is doing a piece on whether or not you’re the next Kate Moss, but not in a good way.” She leaned forward, her voice sharp. “You’re toxic right now. Nobody wants to touch you.”
You scoffed, shaking your head. “This isn’t true. My ex-best friend—she’s jealous. She made this all up.”
Angela gave you a pointed look and slid her iPad across the table. On it was a video—paparazzi footage of you from a few nights ago. You were stumbling out of a car, practically being carried by someone, slurring your words as you waved off photographers.
You groaned and pressed your fingers to your temples. “Y’all please, that was one time.”
“It’s never just one time with you!” snapped Melanie, one of the executives at your agency. “This is becoming a pattern. And we’re not here to babysit you.” She stood, exasperated. “You’re one of the highest-paid models in the world, and now look at you. You’re a liability.”
Angela raised a hand to calm the room. “Give me a few days,” she said, her voice firm. “I’ll clean this up. We’ll fix her image. She’ll be the ‘it girl’ again. I just need time.”
Melanie crossed her arms but didn’t argue. “Fix it fast. Otherwise, we’re done.”
As the meeting wrapped up, you sat silently, staring at the incriminating headlines. After years of grueling work, endless runway shows, and clawing your way to the top, it was all unraveling because of your past addictions and your inability to leave it behind.
Angela pulled you aside as the others left. “You need to clean this up. No more excuses. No more scandals. And definitely no more drunken or high paparazzi shots. Got it?”
You nodded numbly. “Got it.”
“Good. Now, start small. Let’s use that mansion of yours. Throw a party. Invite everyone who matters. Show them the glamorous, sophisticated version of yourself. Make them forget the messy headlines.”
Your lips curved into a small, defiant smile. “A party? That, I can do.”
2 Days Later
The house practically glittered under the LA moonlight, perched in the most exclusive part of the city. Your glam team buzzed around you, perfecting every inch of your hair and makeup as you sipped champagne. Outside the window, you noticed the usually dark house next door was now bustling with activity.
“Looks like someone’s moving in,” you said absently, gesturing with your glass. From the corner of your eye, you saw a guy carrying a box inside. He looked young, around your age maybe two years older, and vaguely attractive, though you didn’t pay much attention.
“Maybe he’ll be better than the last neighbors,” you joked to your stylist, smirking. “If he’s cute, I might even invite him to the party.”
As the night fell, the party roared to life. The mansion was packed with models, actors, and influencers. Music pounded through the walls, and laughter echoed in every corner. You danced like you had something to prove, the champagne flowing freely. At one point, you made out with a fellow model on the balcony to the cheers of a crowd. You were chaos incarnate, and you loved every second of it.
Around midnight, you were helping a tipsy friend into a waiting limo when you noticed someone approaching from the house next door.
“Excuse me.”
You turned, your vision slightly blurred, and found yourself face-to-face with the new neighbor. He was dressed casually—jeans and a hoodie—but his sharp jawline and piercing eyes caught your attention.
“I’m Nicholas,” he said, offering a tight smile. “Nicholas Chavez. I just moved in.”
You arched a brow, leaning lazily against the limo. “And?”
“And I have an audition tomorrow,” he continued, his tone calm but firm. “Your music is loud, and I can’t sleep.”
You laughed, the champagne fizzing in your head. “Well, didn’t you know who you were moving in next to?”
His lips twitched, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes. “I found out too late,” he said dryly, a pointed reference to the headlines.
You rolled your eyes, crossing your arms. “Funny. I’ve never seen a single headline about you.”
This time, he chuckled softly, though it was more condescending than amused. “Well, I’ll try to keep it that way.” His gaze flicked down briefly before meeting your eyes again.
You noticed, scoffing. “Nice try, but staring at my chest isn’t going to make me turn the music down.”
“Noted,” he replied smoothly, his tone unreadable. “But seriously, could you tone it down? Just a little?”
You waved him off, turning back toward the house. “Good luck with your audition.”
The door slammed behind you as the party continued to rage on. Whatever Nicholas Chavez wanted, it could wait until tomorrow. Tonight, you were untouchable—or so you thought.
You weren’t worried Nicholas would turn out like your last neighbors, the ones who had gleefully run to the press with tales of your ‘wild, disruptive parties’ adding fuel to your already blazing reputation as a noisy party girl.
The party raged on, and you weren’t exactly innocent in keeping it under control. The music blasted as guests danced, smoked, and drank with abandon. Lines of coke were casually set out on mirrored trays, and you caught more than one person lighting up joints in the corners. Even you, despite promising yourself you were done with that lifestyle, gave in after a few glasses of champagne, doing a line or two when a friend coaxed you into it.
By the time the sun started to rise, people were passed out on your marble floors, the air heavy with the stench of spilled liquor and smoke. You stumbled to bed without bothering to clean up, the haze of the night swirling in your head.
You woke to the sound of chaos downstairs—your housekeepers already hard at work, scrubbing every inch of the aftermath. Your head pounded as sunlight streamed in through your curtains. Groaning, you grabbed your phone from the nightstand and blinked at the time. It was already midday.
Dozens of missed calls and messages from Angela stared back at you. She’d been blowing up your phone about a last-minute shoot, one you had completely missed. You cursed under your breath, knowing she’d be furious.
Dragging yourself out of bed, you shuffled into the bathroom for a long, scalding shower. As the water poured over you, you couldn’t help but rethink the night before. You’d promised to get it together, to clean up your image, but it was getting harder to hold yourself accountable.
After drying off, you wrapped yourself in a silk robe and walked to your window. Across the lawn, you noticed Nicholas pulling into his driveway. He stepped out of his car looking exhausted, a coffee in hand, wearing a nice suit. You figured he must have just returned from his audition. It must’ve been early. For a brief moment, guilt pricked at you. If he hadn’t gotten much sleep last night, it was probably your fault.
Angela didn’t wait for you to sit down when you arrived at her office. “What the hell is wrong with you?” she snapped, slamming her laptop shut as you walked in.
“I’m sorry, A,” you began, your voice hoarse from the night before.
“Sorry?” she cut you off, standing up and pacing the room. “Do you know what I’ve been dealing with all morning?” She grabbed a folder from her desk and threw it onto the coffee table in front of you. A stack of printouts slid out, screenshots of articles and photos from the party.
The headlines were brutal: “A Drug-Fueled Disaster: Is Y/N Destroying the Modeling Industry?”
Photos showed passed-out models, trays of coke, and worst of all, a video of you taking a line.
You froze, your stomach twisting into knots.
Angela slammed her hands on the desk. “This was supposed to be elegant, extravagant, a chance to clean up your image. Instead, you turned it into some rockstar-adjacent drug den!”
“I didn’t know people were recording,” you said weakly, avoiding her glare.
“That’s not the point!” she barked. “You were supposed to set an example. Little black girls look up to you. This is the image you’re giving them?”
You exhaled sharply, frustrated. “Angela, with all due respect, I’m not their mother. I didn’t ask to be anyone’s role model.”
She rolled her eyes, her frustration palpable. “Well, congratulations, because you’re not much of one anyway. This is your last chance. Do you hear me? Last chance.”
You nodded quickly, desperate to make it right. “I’ll fix it. I swear.”
“I already have something cooking up,” she said sharply, leaning against her desk. “But in the meantime, go downtown, look beautiful, and give them something positive to talk about. No booze, no drugs, no nonsense. Just smile, shop, and sign autographs. Sober.”
You groaned inwardly at the thought of dragging yourself out in public, especially hungover, but you didn’t dare push back. “Got it.”
Your driver dropped you off at one of the most exclusive shopping districts in the city. Bodyguards lingered in the background as you strolled from boutique to boutique, taking your time and letting the paparazzi get their shots.
Every time someone asked for an autograph, you smiled warmly and obliged, posing with fans here and there. This was your coping mechanism—shopping your problems away, hoping the public would eat it up.
“Looking good, Y/N!” one of the paparazzi shouted as you exited a store with bags in hand.
You forced another smile, playing your part, and waved at the cameras before ducking into the backseat of your car.
When you arrived home, the guilt from last night gnawed at you. You couldn’t undo the noise and chaos, but maybe you could soften the blow. After all, Nicholas didn’t deserve to suffer because of your mess. Deciding to make amends, you ordered a small cake from a local bakery with “Welcome” scrawled neatly in frosting.
Holding the cake, you made your way next door and rang his doorbell. At first, there was no response, and for a brief moment, you wondered if he was ignoring you. Maybe he had seen the articles and already formed an opinion. The thought annoyed you, but just as you were about to turn away, the door opened.
Nicholas stood there in joggers and a fitted t-shirt, his face a mix of surprise and curiosity. His hair was slightly disheveled, and he looked like he’d just rolled out of bed. His eyes dropped to the cake in your hands.
“Hi, neighbor,” you said with a small, sheepish smile.
He raised an eyebrow, reading the icing. “Welcome?”
“It’s for you,” you explained. “To welcome you to the neighborhood. And, uh, sorry about last night.”
His surprise lingered as he stepped aside to let you in. “Didn’t strike you as the generous, ‘welcome-with-cake’ kind of girl,” he said as you followed him into his sleek, modern kitchen.
The place was immaculate—white marble countertops, stainless steel appliances, and tasteful art on the walls. He set a glass down on the counter and gestured toward a barstool for you to sit.
“Well,” he added with a smirk, “especially not after a night like that. I’m surprised you’re even standing.”
You groaned, slumping into the chair. “Please don’t tell me you’ve seen the articles.”
He grabbed a knife to cut the cake. “The articles, the pictures, the videos, yeah, I’ve seen them.”
You groaned again, covering your face with your hands. “Great. Just what I needed. My new neighbor thinking I’m a train wreck.”
“Not thinking anything,” he said casually, slicing into the cake. His tone was calm, nonchalant. You couldn’t read him, and it annoyed you. Was he judging you? Laughing at you? You couldn’t tell.
You cleared your throat. “Anyway, welcome to the neighborhood. And again, sorry for the noise.”
He placed two plates on the counter, handing one to you. “Thanks. Want to eat this with me? That’s if you’re one of those rare models who actually eat carbs and don’t starve themselves.”
You shot him a pointed look. “Don’t joke about that. And yes, I’ll have a slice. Or two.”
He chuckled softly, taking a seat across from you. As you ate, you studied him a little closer. His face was sharp, striking, he was definitely good-looking, though in a boy-next-door-meets-Hollywood kind of way. Then it hit you where you’d seen him before.
“You’ve been everywhere lately,” you said, setting your fork down. “You were in that Lyle and Erik Menendez show, right?”
He looked up, surprised. “You watched it?”
“I caught the first episode,” you admitted. “It was really good. Intense, but good.”
“Thanks,” he said, his expression softening. “It was a tough project, but worth it.”
You leaned back in your seat. “Hollywood’s a mess. Be careful.”
He nodded. “I’ll do my best.”
The conversation felt easy, almost too easy. Sitting across from him, you couldn’t help but notice how his t-shirt hugged his chest and arms, or the way his jaw tensed when he chewed. You realized, with a twinge of irritation, that you were definitely attracted to him. The idea of tearing his clothes off flashed through your mind, but you quickly shoved it aside.
You had too much going on to add that kind of complication to your life. Besides, sex was supposed to be the last thing on your mind right now.
Standing abruptly, you pushed your chair back. “I should go. Thanks for letting me crash your place. Enjoy the cake.”
He walked you to the door. “If I need anything, should I come knocking?”
You raised an eyebrow. “I don’t plan on babysitting you, but sure, I guess.”
He scoffed, shaking his head. “Noted, neighbor.”
The moment you stepped through the door, your phone buzzed. Angela’s name flashed across the screen.
“Good,” she said briskly when you answered. “You’re home. I’ll be at your place first thing in the morning.”
“Why?” you asked cautiously.
“There’s a plan,” she said, her tone leaving no room for questions. “I’ll explain everything then, and we’ll put it in motion. Be ready.”
She hung up before you could respond. You stared at the phone, curiosity swirling in your chest. Whatever she was planning, you couldn’t help but feel a flicker of excitement. If this was your chance to claw your way back into the spotlight, you’d take it.
For now, you poured yourself a glass of water, settling into the couch as you tried to shake off the day. Tomorrow was a new start—or so you hoped.
159 notes · View notes
imaginesandbandfiction · 7 months ago
Text
Second Choices
Pairing: Cassian x Reader
Masterlist
A/N: I hope this makes sense lol. I opened my planning doc for the next part of Triad, read the three sentences I had written there, and then closed it and went back to a random drabble in my notes app that exploded into this. So… enjoy, I guess? There will be three parts of this total, so click here to be added to the taglist to be notified when those go live!
Warnings: Angst, drinking, drug use (slightly forced, if you squint?), a little hint of smut at the end but it doesn't progress very far
“Y/N is a bitch,” Braelie whined, voice echoing out from the restroom’s open door. Mor sighed, snapped the cap back onto her signature red lip gloss, then turned towards Cassian’s female-du-jour. She was pretty, in an artificial sort of way. Her foundation, a shade too light, was caked on with a thick layer of matte powder that swallowed the light when it hit her face, leaving her skin dull and sullen. The dark eye makeup and too-bright lipstick made her look like a doll, and not the kind for children.
“Listen, Brae,” Mor hoped that using a nickname would soften the major blow she was about to land. She reached out and laid a light, comforting hand onto one bony shoulder. “Y/N and Cassian have been friends for a long time. I won’t lie to you, sometimes the lines get blurred when they’re both single. She’s probably having some complicated feelings, since you’re so pretty,” Mor rushed to add that last part when Braelin’s lower lip wobbled. Then she prayed to the Mother for your forgiveness and said, lowering her voice to a whisper, “she’s probably just jealous.”
That put a spark back into Braelie’s eyes, and Mor cringed. She added Cassian to her list of prayers as Braelie flounced away in search of him.
Cassian hovered with his hand on the doorknob, ready to duck out the side door to sneak in a quick smoke break while Braelie freshened up with Mor. 
Braelie was hot, sure, but Cauldron she was dumb. If Cassian had to hear the words, “wait, really?” one more time, he might not make it long enough to get her into his bed tonight. Just a few puffs of mirthroot would dull the edges of his brain enough to find her cluelessness endearing. 
She wasn’t the most exciting company, but she was reliable, and he needed that. He’d broken things off with Skyla three weeks earlier and knew that he was dangerously close to doing the one thing he wore he’d stop doing, so he went out one night, alone, and found Braelie. 
After overhearing Mor’s words, he felt guilt roiling deep in his gut. So he smoked half a joint and headed back inside. He danced with her and thought of you. Walked her home and thought of you. She invited him in for a drink and pressed her too-pink lips against his. 
He thought of you. 
Afterward, he wrapped one arm around her shoulders and waited until her breathing slowed before sneaking out through the window. He shoved off of the sill and let his wings fully expand, catching the wind and sending him soaring into the early morning sky. 
You hadn’t meant for Cassian’s latest fling to overhear you calling her a “Cauldron-damned floozy,” but it had happened anyway. 
“She’s soooooo annoyingggg,” you slurred, taking another swig from the wine glass in your hand. You let your head fall back until it landed on Azriel’s shoulder. He chuckled and you felt his shadows nipping at your cheeks, lightly scolding you for being bitchy. They tickled like tiny, ice-cold kisses, but that wasn’t enough to stop you. “Seriously, Az. I dunno what Cas sees in her. She’s just another Cauldron-damned floozy, good for keeping his bed warm and not much else.” 
Mor had managed to redirect Braelie towards the restrooms after that, leaving you alone in the booth with Az, completely oblivious. 
Azriel’s shadows had alerted him to her presence, and a smirk graced his lips. He sensed some major drama brewing and relished in his position at the sidelines. 
“Why, Y/N, if I didn’t know better, I’d say you sound jealous,” he drawled. You let your head loll to the side so you could glare at him, which coaxed a bark of laughter from his lips. 
The first coherent thought you had the next morning was water. I need water. You dragged yourself out of bed and trudged into the bathroom, gulping mouthful after mouthful straight from the faucet. 
But water could only do so much for a hangover, so you threw a robe over your pajamas and tiptoed down the Townhouse stairs. It was nearing noon but, based on the disheveled state everyone had returned in last night, you didn’t want to risk waking anyone and incurring their hungover wrath. 
Outside the kitchen, you heard low, muffled voices and paused to listen before entering. Mother forbid you end up interrupting Cassian and Braelie’s post-coital feast. Cauldron, even her name was annoying. 
“I just don’t understand why Y/N would say something like that,” you heard Cassian say, wincing as memories from last night flooded your brain. 
“Look, Y/N’s your best friend, I’m sure she’s just feeling put out now that you’re spending so much time with Braelie,” Az said, careful to keep his tone neutral. 
“Well she doesn’t have to be such a bitch about it.” 
You turned away and snuck back up the stairs to change into real clothes, deciding that breakfast at your favorite cafe was in order. Preferably paired with a mimosa or five. 
— 
Az sighed and took a sip of tea to buy himself some time to think. He’d stayed up with Mor until sunrise, talking about their clueless friends. 
While your comments about Cassian’s love life had been funny the first few times, after more than three decades, it was getting old. They recognized a pattern repeating itself ad nauseam; Cassian gets a new girlfriend, you distance yourself from him and start grumbling about the girls’ flaws, then when Cas eventually dumped her you’d be back to being best friends like no time had passed at all. And if you both happen to be single, well, sometimes after smoking too much mirthroot you’d end up all over each other. In a friendly way, of course. 
This time, though, you’d been much more open about your hatred for Braelie despite the fact that she was one of the more tolerable ‘floozies’  they’d had to deal with over the years. She was dumb but harmless, and soon enough Cassian would tire of her, resetting the cycle once again. 
So they’d decided to divide and conquer; Mor was going to try and get it through your thick skull that you’re in love with Cas, while Az was tasked with showing the General what was right in front of him. 
Easier said than done. So he decided to go for the jugular. 
“Well, it’s not like you have the best track record with females. Maybe Y/N’s gotten tired of playing nice when you’ve got someone new on your arm every other week.”
“Last I checked that wasn’t a crime.” 
Az held his hands up, raising one eyebrow at Cas. 
“Don’t shoot the messenger. If it’s really bothering you, why don’t you talk to her? I’m sure if you asked her to lay off Braelie she would.”
Cas ducked his head to hide the heat rushing to his face and mumbled something incoherent into his chest. 
“Sorry, brother, what was that? I couldn’t hear you over the sound of my shadows laughing at your blush.”
“I broke up with her this morning,” Cas growled, tightening his grip on the mug in his fist. 
Azriel cackled, laughter only growing louder when Cas glared at him. 
“It’s not funny,” Cas insisted, launching his teaspoon over the table. Az’s shadows caught it before it could make contact, turning Cas’s glare into a downright glower.  
“Alright, alright, it’s not funny. You’re just predictable, that’s all.” 
After stewing in silence for a few minutes, Cas felt his self control crumbling. Words bubbled up from his chest, through his throat, and then he was rambling. 
“I overheard Mor telling Braelie that Y/N was jealous of her,” he pushed his chair back and started pacing back and forth across the kitchen. “And at first I thought, no way, that’s crazy, if Y/N was jealous I would know. But I couldn’t stop thinking about it. She always gets weird whenever I’m dating someone, right?”
“Maybe you should talk to her about it,” Az suggested, leaning back in his seat. Just a friend offering a casual, off-the-cuff solution to a problem he knows nothing about. 
“Yeah, maybe…”
Mor tracked you down later that afternoon, sprawled out on a blanket next to the Sidra and halfway through a bottle of vintage red imported from the Summer Court. 
“Heyyy,” you greeted her, pushing yourself up into a sitting position and holding the bottle out towards your friend. “Come to join the pity party?” 
Mor eyed you, curiosity and amusement sparking behind her honey brown eyes, and she accepted your offering. 
“And why are we having a pity party?” she asked, plopping down next to you and taking a long pull from the bottle. 
“Cause I fuck everything up, duh.” You flopped back down, this time onto your stomach. “Cassian hates me, but whatever. I’m sure he and Braelie are going to be very happy together.”
Mor had to force her eyes not to roll at your drunken dramatics. 
“I’m gonna find a boyfriend, that way when they break up Cas can’t come crawling back to me with his dick in his hand. See how he likes it.” You made grabby hands for the bottle but Mor shook her head, keeping it held just out of your reach. 
“Or you could try telling him how you feel?” She suggested, casually, as she took another sip. 
You scoffed, hiccuping giggles following as you struggled to keep your composure as mixed emotions ebbed and flowed through your body. 
“Tell him how I feel? Should I tell him it makes my skin itch whenever he dances with another girl? Tell him that I haven’t been able to finish with anyone else since the first time he fucked me? Or maybe I should tell him that he’s my mate, good idea, Mor. Maybe that will make him fall in love with me!” 
Mor let her eyes roll this time, patting you on the back. But when you flipped onto your back, she saw the pain and longing etched into the lines on your face and stared deep into your eyes, waiting for you to laugh and say it was just a joke. 
Unease settled in her stomach. 
“Wait, you’re serious, aren’t you?” she asked. 
“He’s my Cauldron-damned mate, and he doesn’t even know it. He’s too busy burying himself in the hordes of females fawning all over him to notice how much it hurts.” 
“Y/N…how long have you known?” 
“Four years,” you whispered, throwing an arm over your eyes to hide your tears from your oldest friend.
“Oh, babe,” she sighed, tugging you up into her arms. The dam behind your eyes broke and sobs wracked your body while the gears in Mor’s brain started turning. 
When you finally settled in her lap, tears dried up, she hauled you to your feet. “C’mon, let’s get you home.” 
All you managed to mutter was, “Not the Townhouse,” before she winnowed you away.  
Cassian dodged Azriel’s attempts at cheering him up in favor of sulking at the kitchen table all day, waiting for you to wake up. 
When it was nearing dinner time, he sighed and put together a tray of tea and pastries to bring up to you as a peace offering. But after knocking politely on your door for five minutes straight, worry started worming its way into his stomach and he threw open the door to reveal your bed, perfectly made and empty. 
“Fuck,” he growled, throwing the tray down the hallway where it crashed against the wall, broken bits of pottery clattering to the ground. He’d wasted all day waiting for you when you were out doing Mother knows what with Mother knows who. 
Screw apologies, he was on a warpath now.  
He trekked through the busy streets of Velaris looking for any sign of you, starting at Amren’s apartment and making his way through your favorite shops and restaurants with no success. Just when he was about to give up, assuming you were holed up with a male somewhere, he saw Mor ducking into one of the small cafes near the Sidra. 
“Mor!” he shouted, jogging to catch the door before it closed behind her. She turned around, and a look of shock flashed across her face before it smoothed into cool indifference. 
“Cassian,” she said, nodding at him before turning to the hostess stand. “I’m here to pick up a takeout order for Morrigan.” 
The hostess nodded and disappeared into the kitchen to grab the food. Cas reached out and grabbed Mor’s wrist, tugging her around to face him.  
“Where is she?” he asked, barely able to contain the rage flowing through his veins. 
“Not now, Cas,” Mor sighed, wrenching her arm from his grasp. “Trust me. Just give her some space.” 
“I can’t,” he growled, siphons glowing as if they were attempting to warn her that his magic was sizzling just beneath the surface. It felt like something was pulling him along, the desire to find you growing stronger the longer he looked. “I need to find her. Please, Mor.”
The hostess came back and handed a bag to Mor, who promptly turned around and dumped it into Cas’s arms. 
“Fine, then you can take this up to the House of Wind for me. I have some errands to run, you have an hour.” Cas’s face relaxed and he nodded, about to open his mouth to thank her when she waved a hand at him to dismiss him. 
But when they were back outside, she turned around to flash a sickly sweet smile at him. 
“Oh, and Cassian?” His eyes widened as he froze in place, wings spread and ready to take off. “If you hurt her, I will feed you to Bryaxis.” 
With that, she disappeared and Cassian took to the skies wondering what would be waiting for him when he arrived. 
— 
On the back deck of the House of Wind, you stood leaning against the railing, music swirling around you as you watched the sun sink behind the buildings of Velaris below. Lights blinked on one by one until the whole city was filled with twinkling stars.
With a joint in one hand and a glass of wine in the other, your mind was finally, blissfully, numb. Only the subtle ache deep in your core served as a reminder of your unfortunate situation, but even that was starting to dull. 
Of course, your peaceful night had to be ruined by the one male you had no desire to see. The sound of flapping wings and rushing of air past your face gave you a split-second warning, and then Cassian dropped to the ground behind you. 
You turned around and held the hand with the joint lazily balanced between two fingers at your forehead. 
“General Bloodshed, or whatever the fuck,” you said, wobbling on unsteady feet as you saluted him. Then you lowered your hand and took a long drag, holding the smoke in your lungs for as long as physically possible before letting it out in a steady stream pointed in his direction. “Come to fight for your fair maiden’s honor, or just to rub it in my face that you’re getting laid and you don’t need me anymore?”
“Y/N,” he said, all the anger draining from his body as he took in the bags under your eyes and the heavy winter clothes hanging off your frame even though Summer was right around the corner. It was like he was seeing you for the first time after a long mission away, noticing how much weight you’d lost, how tired your body looked. 
He set the food down on one of the lounge chairs and took slow, careful steps towards you. 
“Y/N,” he repeated, “What’s going on?”
“Nothin’, Cassie, nothin’ at all,” you said, pausing to hiccup before continuing. “I don’t care about Braelie, I don’t care about you, I don’t care about anything.” You thrust your arms out wide and turned to face the sunset, which was now casting a golden glow onto Velaris. “I’ve got a hot date with my fingers later, and I probably won’t even think about you.”
Cas ignored the heat flaring up low in his belly at the mental image that flashed behind his eyes. 
“Hey,” he whispered, coming up next to you and prying the joint from your hand. “Gimme that.” 
You turned to face him, lower lip stuck out in a pout. 
“Why? So you can leave me here and go get high with Braelie? I bet she’s real mouthy. You like em loud, don’t you? Like when females beg for that big Illyrian cock?”
Your voice got higher and higher, becoming breathless as you rambled on, letting all of your deepest, darkest, pent-up thoughts and feelings fall from your lips. Even though you knew you’d regret it in the morning, in the moment it felt so good to let them go. 
“Y/N, stop, just take a breath. I’m not going to leave you, okay!” Cassian stubbed out the joint and tossed it aside, putting his hands on your shoulders to force you to look at him. “I’m not going to see Braelie, I broke up with her this morning.” 
Your eyes glazed over as you looked him up and down, a lazy smirk blooming on your lips. 
“Ohhhh, I see how it is,” you drawled, waving a hand to summon the joint to you. Snapping your fingers to spark it back to life, you took another deep hit and then stuffed the unlit end into Cas’s mouth. He tried to protest but you held firm until he finally inhaled. Its effects hit immediately, and you watched as his shoulders drooped, muscles relaxing. With a wicked grin, you dropped from his loosened grip to your knees, palming his dick through his leathers. “Want me to kiss it better, put your broken heart back together?” 
A war waged behind Cas’s eyes; on the one hand, the mirthroot was clouding his judgment and lust threatened to take over at the sight of you looking up at him with wide eyes.  
On the other hand, he had set out to make things right, to talk to you and figure out the true nature of your feelings for him. Sleeping with you would send the wrong message. 
“Y/N, stop,” he grunted, pulling his hips back and shoving your hand away. 
“What?” you asked, your pout back in full force. “Want me to beg for it first, cause you know I will? Know I’ll give you anything you want?” You shoved yourself up to your feet, pushing onto your tiptoes so your narrowed eyes bore right into Cassian’s. 
He felt the tension that had been building all day melt away—the anger, the frustration, the confusion—all of it was gone with a snap of golden magic that flooded his body. 
You felt it, too, from your side of the bond, could see the moment it registered behind those hazel eyes. It felt like the bond was on your side, snapping just in time to help you prove a point.
“I’m done being your second choice, mate,” you snarled, plucking the joint from his hand before turning around and stalking into the house, leaving him stranded alone in the darkness. 
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01zfan · 9 months ago
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housequake | j. sc
soccer player!sungchan x cheerleader!reader | 6.2k words
contains: house party, drug mention, random idols mentioned for world building, sex but no penetration (HEHE)
housequake: during the party | after the party
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you could feel the sidewalk underneath the soles of your feet. your cheering shoes weren’t meant to be on anything other than synthetic turf and a gymnasium floor. you could practically feel the expensive material of your shoes wearing down as they rubbed against the concrete. 
you shouldn’t have been out in the cold weather. it was a fools february, the approach to spring should’ve brought warmer weather but instead it still felt like winter. the fact that you had to cheer in this weather outside was insane, but it was even more insane that your team chose to stand outside to do drugs. the sweats you threw on before jumping in karina’s car did nothing for you, the frigid night air piercing right through the material. your girls all thought the same, clumped together on the sidewalk like penguins. 
the team stayed together in a huddle the same way you guys did at games. the only difference that instead of pom poms your girls passed around a cigarette, a joint, and a small baggie of something you wouldn’t be taking. each time the cigarette was offered you shook your head. your team never pressured you to take anything but it was strange for you to be so straight edge. you tried it a long time ago like most people your age did when the chance arose. but every time you took a puff of anything it just didn’t feel right. you hid your avoidance of drugs and nicotine under the guise of strict parents, but you just didn’t have a taste for it.
you had been on the team long enough to see various teammates on their benders and tolerance breaks. it was like an involuntary D.A.R.E. program, seeing the effect drugs and alcohol had on your teammates. you remember seeing karina and ningning come to practice with shades on and they moved slowly the whole time. you also remember several people on your team being gone for periods of time. the reason was always a vacation, but you learned early on that was a code word for rehab. you never thought you were better than them, you had your own fair share of self destructive tendencies. 
when ryujin offered you her vape you shook head, nestling further into your varsity jacket. the jacket was bulky but still failed to keep you warm.
“you sure?” ryujin asks.
you nod and ryujin shrugs her shoulders before taking another hit. you’re confused how ryujin isn’t shivering from only wearing the teams hoodie. karina looks over from her spot in the cluster to ryujin and her vape.
“nobody wants a hit of that mango shit.” karina laughs.
she passed the cigarette to ningning. ningning laughs after taking a drag, fake passing it to ryujin.
“smoke a cigarette or joint like a real woman” ningning joked.
everyone in the huddle laughed, including ryujin. the smoke came out of her mouth in a cough, the joke catching in her throat. you laughed with your team too, loving the dynamic your team has set. nothing beat the bonding you had with your team outside of the house parties, away from the loud music where it was just you guys. you enjoyed this part more than the parties itself. another cold breeze runs through your group and you shake again. you loved your girls, but you felt like you were going to freeze to death if you stayed outside any longer. you were grateful to see the joint and cigarette gone and the baggie had disappeared too. soon you’d be back in the heat of shotaro’s place surrounded by warm bodies.
just as karina’s cigarette was coming to its end, a car pulled up to the curb. karina turned to face the car and the rest of the team followed her lead, looking to see who it was. you only had to take a single look before you knew, turning to face the huddle to try and hide your body.
eunseok in the driver’s seat came out first. he was followed by the back doors opening. anton, sohee, seunghan, and wonbin came out one by one, complaining about the lack of room. sungchan came out last, opening the passenger side and trailing behind the group. 
“the guests of honor are here.” yunjin said mockingly.
yunjin put out her cigarette on the concrete while the rest of the team made sounds of acknowledgement. 
your team tried their best to seem annoyed by the soccer team, but everyone knew it was a facade. just like in all the highschool movies, a majority of the cheerleading team had something with a majority of the soccer team. there was even some overlap in some cases—although this was vehemently denied by both parties. you were sure members of your team were currently secretly seeing boys on the soccer team. you saw the quick looks minjeong and wonbin exchanged, or how anton tried his best to talk to yunjin. their fling from two summers ago still shook you to your core when you thought about it.
to your knowledge, you were the last one on your team that had avoided being woo’ed by the players on the soccer team. it was definitely hard, especially because it was sungchan that had caught your attention. he was the dependable captain of the team, leading them through a flawless season. each time they put him on the field he won, eventually making him the youngest captain they’ve ever had. sungchan succeeded off the field too, involved in the top ten percent of his class. it was almost unfair how perfect he was, but it was even more unfair that you had to pretend like you didn’t want him.
sungchan’s attention went to you first. you could feel his eyes burning holes through your varsity jacket, waiting for you to turn around and acknowledge him. you caught him just in the last moment, seeing him clear shotaro’s cement steps with one lunge. the other boys made it much more obvious that they were trying to catch the cheerleaders attention, some of them even stopping to talk to your group.
“do you have another?” eunseok asked, pointing to karina’s cigarette.
“not for you.” karina said.
the cheerleaders laughed and karina gave eunseok a smirk before dropping the cigarette to the curb to stomp it out. eunseok smiled back at karina, hands tucked into his letterman jacket. you knew that eunseok was even more straight edge than you and was just searching for an excuse to speak to karina. you looked between the two of them, the tension so thick you felt like you were intruding on a personal moment. 
you turned your head to follow sungchan, watching him walk to the door of shotaro’s house. you saw him hug his best friend before following him inside, disappearing behind the closed front door. you suddenly really wanted to go back inside. you shifted on your heels and made eye contact with ryujin, the only one of your teammates that wasn’t chatting with one of the soccer players. you and ryujin both flicked your heads towards shotaro’s door at the same time.
ryujin nods and slips her vape into her sweatpants pocket, walking through the huddle of your distracted teammates. you two don’t even bother telling your team where you are going, the words would be drowned out in the conversations and intense stares. 
you and ryujin giggle about your team while walking through the lawn. you walk quickly through the trimmed grass, trying to get out of the cold as quick as possible.
“they pretend like they hate those boys until they come around.” ryujin says.
“to be fair, you’re the same way with chaeryeong.” you say.
ryujin is quiet for a moment and you think you might’ve struck a nerve. chaeryeong and ryujin have had an on-again-off-again relationship for as long as you can remember. one day they’re madly in love the next they can’t stand eachother. you had lost track of where they were at now, but you were sure it was off currently because ryujin hated coming to parties alone. you’re lucky ryujin found the humor in your comment, her vaporized laugh coming out in a cloud as she shook her head. 
”you got me there,” ryujin pauses on the porch and you stop with her. you see her take out her vape again and you fight the urge to ask her to smoke inside. “i think she’s here at the party tonight.” ryujin said.
ryujin takes a hit of her vape before she looks at you. she eyes you up and down before smirking and blowing out the smoke into the night.
“what about you, huh?” ryujin asks.
her smile only intensifies seeing you suddenly avoid her eye contact, looking past ryujin to focus on shotaro’s trimmed hedges.
“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you say shyly.
ryujin tsks and pokes your chest, bringing your attention back to her.
“don’t act like the team doesn’t see it.” ryujin takes another pull from her vape. “you and the captain song kang—”
“sungchan.” you correct.
ryujin gives you a straight-faced expression.
“that’s what i said.” ryujin says.
you nod your head, not in the mood to start an argument with ryujin. she shrugs her shoulder and looks for her next words.
“anyways. i see how you two look at eachother. you just need to get it over with already.” ryujin says. 
“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you say coyly.
“you don’t know shit apparently. you don’t do drugs and you don’t fuck, i don’t know why you’re a cheerleader.” ryujin remarks.
you look at ryujin and crack a smile, ryujin does the same. a second later you are both laughing, so hard that your chests hurt. ryujin almost chokes on her laughs and you hit her back, all while still laughing.
when you both gather your senses and the tears are wiped, ryujin looks at you expectantly. you realize she hasn’t let the topic go, you sigh heavily and look down at your feet. your pristine white shoes have dirt stains on them now.
“i just don’t want to be one of those stereotypes you know. and i know that the soccer team fools around.” you say casually.
ryujin understands what you mean, tilting her head and nodding as she recalls all the instances of the cheerleading team and the soccer team mingling.
“i understand where you’re coming from i really do. but don’t you want to try it? just once?” ryujin asks.
you can’t lie and say you hadn’t thought about it. you felt the stares from sungchan, when he’d walk past you to go on the field or when you’d cheer for him on the sidelines. you had moments of your own, eyeing sungchan while he was at practice, admiring the way he commanded his team and how much they respected him. you had moments less innocent too, mainly during the practices that were held during the summer. sungchan had a body that made you dizzy, six pack and toned body brought from being a multidisciplinary athlete. you started finding reasons to walk by the gym in your school, just to see sungchan weight training with his teammates. 
so in reality you thought about it a little too much. you just shrug your shoulders and ryujin copies you, laughing at how bad you are at hiding everything.
“let’s go inside.” ryujin says.
“thank god.” you exclaim.
ryujin laughs at you as she heads to the front door, opening it with quickly.
the party inside is very different from the small sparse groups that hang out outside. the party rages inside of shotaro’s place, music being drowned out by endless chatter. you’re nearly shoulder to shoulder with your classmates, many of them you did not see at the soccer game. anything for an excuse to party. it’s never been quite to this extent before, it seems like the whole entire student body is crammed in shotaro’s house. ryujin taps your shoulder and points up the stairs. you see shotaro on the landing, scanning the crowd below him over and over again. you see sungchan next to him with a bear in his hand, leaning over the railing. him and shotaro are talking to eachother but both seem preoccupied, shotaro watching the party and sungchan watching you. you feel you body suddenly get hotter, and ryujin looks to you and sungchan before laughing.
“you two are ridiculous.” ryujin says.
you see shotaro follow a drunk couple as they try for an unlocked door, and you see sungchan make his way down the stairs. ryujin stopped paying attention to sungchan a long time ago, her eyes now fixed on chaeryeong who’s getting chatted up by someone at the bar. ryujin doesn’t tell you goodbye before heading towards her girlfriend, leaving you all alone. you can’t come up with an excuse to leave when sungchan approaches you, just you and him in the middle of this house party.
“good job cheering today.” sungchan says awkwardly. 
the beer in his hand has barely been sipped on, you think it might just be there for show. you nod you head and look up at him, trying to figure out what to say.
“good job playing.” you say back.
sungchan nods and rocks back on his feet. why is it suddenly so awkward when other people aren’t around? you and sungchan managed to keep it friendly when your two teams would interact, but now he stood by you and you felt your face heating up and silently begging ryujin to come and save you. 
just as you were looking to see where your friend went, someone coming down from the stairs loses their balance and bumps into you. it sudden and catches you off guard, almost causing you to fall onto sungchan. he holds you upright with just one hand, scowling at the person who bumped into you until they apologize. you turn to stare at the person too until they disappear into the crowd again.
“you alright?” sungchan asks.
he looks genuinely worried as he continues to rub your shoulder. it was nothing more than a bump, the grip he has on you arguably did more damage than the person who fell into you. but you brush it off, there’s no reason to be mad over an accident.
“yeah. i just kind of hate parties.” you say.
“me too.” you look up and see sungchan take a tiny sip of his beer. he hesitates for a moment before leaning down to look at you. “do you want to go somewhere quiet?” he asks.
you can’t stop your eyes from widening at his bold request. you do want to go somewhere quiet but that doesn’t always mean you should. but you think about your conversation outside with ryujin and the conversations your team are still having with the soccer team outside. you’re sure at this point everyone in your life has had their fun except for you. maybe falling into a stereotype won’t be the end of the world. you point to the beer in sungchan’s hand and he gives it to you. you take a sip and it’s better than you thought it would be.
“yeah. let’s go.” you say smiling.
sungchan looks a little surprised himself, pointing up the stairs. he lets you go in front so he can lead you through the crowd, a hand between your two shoulder blades. on your way up the stairs you make eye contact with ryujin who is chatting up chaeryeong. ryujin’s eyes widen when she sees sungchan and elbows chaeryeong so she can see it too. the two give you a thumbs up seeing sungchan follow closely behind you and you try to seem unbothered, failing to hide your big smile.
once you and sungchan make it to the landing he still leads you further down the hallway. you pass by the bathroom, having to squeeze past the line that has formed and pass another door. sungchan knocks on the door and presses his ear to it to see if he can hear anything. a moment later he opens it for you and you walk in.
you can tell instantly that you’re in shotaro’s room. his desk lamp is the only thing that illuminates the space, giving you just enough vision to navigate. his room is clean, with a made bed and no visible messes. you focus on everything else in the room before you turn to sungchan, who has placed his beer on shotaro’s desk.
“is it okay that we are in here?” you ask.
the last thing you need is for shotaro to interrupt you.
“yeah, it’s cool.” sungchan says.
sungchan navigates the room like he’s been here before. you wonder if he has been in this situation with other girls before, sneaking them away during a party to fuck them in his bestfriends room. you try to not think about it too much, if sungchan is using you than you are also using him. the way he is acting around you makes you wonder if he’s done this before. sungchan is almost too afraid to approach you, still standing by the door. his hands are tucked into the pocket of his jeans, and his leather jacket hangs loosely on his body. you want to ask sungchan why he doesn’t wear his varsity jacket like his teammates do, only putting it on on game days. he always chose the black leather jacket first, but you weren’t complaining.
“we don’t have to do anything.” sungchan still stands in the door. “i just wanted to be alone with you.” he says.
sungchan doesn’t know why he tried so hard to get you alone. he doesn’t know why he approached you in the first place. you have been just out of sungchan’s reach for as long as he has known you. the introverted backspot of the team, the hidden member that kept everyone safe. he admired the way you always caught the flyer, or how you called out whatever formation you were going to do. karina was the leader but the show couldn’t be ran without you. 
sungchan wanted to tell you this so many times, but you always kept yourself hidden amongst your girls. sungchan admits that he could’ve came up to you at anytime, but there was something holding him back. maybe the embarrassment of being rejected. he didn’t know how to perceive the looks you gave him, you were elusive to sungchan like an urban myth. sungchan had heard the locker room stories exchanged by his teammates. talks of you being pursued were shut down immediately by sungchan, for reasons he couldn’t quite pinpoint. he could live with just stealing glances of you at games and at school, but he could absolutely not live with the idea of you being hit on by his teammates.
“what if i want to do something?” you said.
sungchan tore his eyes from the floor to look at you. sungchan felt like he understood you even less, the way your demeanor suddenly changed. sungchan watched you take off your varsity jacket and throw it on shotaro’s bed. sungchan watches your every move as you walk over to him. you hold out your hand and sungchan rips out his hand to put his hands in the palm of your hands. 
sungchan is still trying to figure out what is happening when you look up at him. he sees your lidded eyes, the way you bite your lip and grip his hand a little tighter. he hopes you’re nervous too, it might make him feel better about the way his heart beats in his chest.
“this is just a one time thing.” you say.
his mouth is dry when he nods his head. for the first time of the night, it’s you leading sungchan when you grab his hand and lightly pull him. sungchan feels like his feet are glued to the floor until you pull him again. he lets you guide him to the trunk that sits at the foot of shotaro’s bed. 
sungchan sits on the trunk and watches as you kick off your shoes, followed by your sweatpants and panties. it leaves you in just your cheer skirt and socks. he scoots back on the trunk slightly to give you more room. sungchan loves feeling your hands go to his shoulders as you climb on top of him, sitting on his lap.
”i know how you soccer players get down.” you say.
“oh yeah?” sungchan’s large hands on your knees ran up your leg until he makes it to the end of your skirt. he’s hesitant, half expecting you to change your mind. he needs to hear your voice, he wishes he could get you to tell him what to do. “tell me how do we get down?”
sungchan seemed preoccupied, fiddling with the end of your skirt as you sit on his lap. he keeps fanning the end of it out to let the material naturally splay out against his thigh. his hand presses the fabric into his denim, loving the way they look side by side.
sungchan lets his hands travel up the end of your skirt until he makes it to your waist. he lets them rest there only for a moment before experimentally pressing his fingers into your skin. he looks up to you when he has a hold on you he’s satisfied with.
your hands that rest on his shoulders pinch the fabric of his white tee. you try not to arch your back to sungchan to seem so desperate, but its like your chests are connected by a tightening string. your breasts are so close to touching sungchan’s chest it makes you sigh.
“my team tells me all the stories.” you say absentmindedly.
sungchan nods his head like he’s listening before he brings you down on his lap. you pull in a quick and small breath when you feel his dick straining through his jeans, pressing into your clothed heat. the only thing that separates him from you is the thin crotch of your cheer skirt. sungchan has a smirk on his face, happy he has an effect on you.
“what stories?” sungchan asks innocently.
you suddenly can’t think of anything when sungchan’s hands start moving your hips to lightly grind against his length. it’s gentle and slow, but you can feel the way he twitches against you. the sensation is intoxicating to say the least. you actively have to go through memories of group facetime calls and text messages to pull up an example. each time you have it sungchan presses you a down a little harder, forcing you to repeat the process in your mind.
“hooking up. sharing girls, you know.” you say. 
“mhm.” sungchan hums.
your words are hesitant and drawn out when you feel a new sensation against you. sungchan bites his bottom lip when he creeps his hand underneath the waistband of your mini skirt. 
he has to adjust his hand once he makes it inside your skirt, lifting his arm to push his hand into the gap. you gasp when he finds your clit and sungchan lets out a tiny sound himself.
“i’m not a fan of hookups,” sungchan wedges his hand into your skirt further, and smiles when he can feel your arousal on the tips of his fingers. “definitely not a fan sharing.” sungchan says.
you let out a hmph in denial and sungchan tilts his head. his hooded eyes light up from you indirectly saying he’s a liar. even when he has you in such a compromising position you are still defiant, holding onto whatever typecast you assigned him to. for a moment sungchan debates commenting on the sound you made. but he knows for a fact it will lead to an argument that could potentially lead to him being alone in shotaro’s room with a raging boner. so sungchan opts to lightly press the pads of his fingers to your slit—he can talk to you about his standpoint on dating later.
sungchan loves the way you lean your head back and arch your body into him without him even having to penetrate you. his hand on your hip also becomes useless, you starting rotating your hips and pressing yourself into his dick all on your own. sungchan moves his hand to your back to give you stability, egging you on to become more reckless with your hips.
“you’re so beautiful.” sungchan says. 
“so are you.” you say.
sungchan laughs at how fast you respond too him, letting anything you think of fall from your lips. he pulls back from you only for a moment to discard himself of his shirt, loving the way your eyes rake down his upper body. he doesn’t move to help you with yours until your hands start messing with the bottom hem of your tee. sungchan is distracted by your chest, sucking on the top of your breast that isn’t covered by your bra. you lift yourself up and sungchan tries his best to unclasp your bra but his shaking hands fail him multiple times and your moans distract him. 
“can you cum just from this?” sungchan asks in amazement.
“i think so,” you look up from where your hips meet to look sungchan in his eyes. he looks up a beat later than you, his eyes wide from dismay. “can you?” you ask.
sungchan looks down again at your bare pussy and his dick. the crotch covering of your skirt has been pushed away by sungchan long ago, letting him see all of you. even in shotaro’s dimly lit room he can see how its glistening from your slick. he didn’t know a sight like this existed outside of the scripted scenes of shitty pornos. but here sungchan was, sitting on a trunk in his friends room getting high off of grinding on your labia like he’s never been intimate with someone before. sungchan nods his head, tightening his hand that holds your body.
“i think so.” sungchan responds.
you nod your head and change the way you move your hips. you spread your legs a little wider, and sungchan moves his hand on your inner thigh to the other side, pressing your thighs together. you fight against his hand just to see if he will do next. you’ve heard tales of the head pushers on the soccer team, and you want to see where sungchan falls on the spectrum. you see the competition in his eyes when you push back against his hand, but a second later sungchan gives in, letting you control how far open your legs are. you smile at sungchan before collapsing your thighs, moving them so close that your knees touch. the angle is awkward and a little painful, but the way sungchan gasps and tilts his head back makes you ignore the discomfort.
you end up becoming perched on sungchan’s legs, and you can feel them hardening underneath you to give you stability.
“thanks.” you say meekly. 
you can feel your face getting hot at your sudden gratitude. sungchan only smiles in acknowledgment, tilting your face up to peck your lips.
“so cute.” sungchan says.
the plush skin of your thighs surround sungchan’s length. he looks down to see his tip peaking out from in between your thighs. he loves seeing the way your thighs give around his hard dick perfectly and the way they jiggle when sungchan thrusts upwards. your whole body moves in tandem with his thrusts. your breasts bounce each time sungchan pulls in and the desperate sound of your skin making contact has you digging your hands into sungchan’s triceps. the pain doesn’t hurt sungchan, only causes him to flex harder and rut between your hips harder.
you have to move a hand from sungchan’s tricep to his shoulder to gain more stability. he’s slowly losing himself in front of your eyes, becoming hastier with his hips. suddenly sungchan gets ahold of himself, looking at you for approval.
“is this enough for you?” sungchan asks.
you let sungchan bring you closer and closer to him, until your chests touch and his dick fits in the space where your thighs meet your hips. his dick is covered by your skirt now, and you waste no time folding the fabric so your can see all of him.
“fuck.” sungchan says. 
each time sungchan thrusts upwards he bumps your clit, causing you to jolt forward. sungchan brings his hands down to press your ass as he backs up on the trunk he’s sitting on. the new amount of space lets you change your position to one more comfortable. you are completely seated on sungchan’s lap as he thrusts upwards, dick stuffed between your folds. 
“oh my god.” you cried. 
sungchan brought one hand from your ass to your clit, slightly lifting you upwards as he moves you. sungchan’s strength when it comes to handling you makes you feel small in the best way, and his athleticism shines through his stamina. you have to stop yourself from asking sungchan to forget about the condom and to just fuck you on his friend’s bed. but the school year just started, you will have plenty of time to properly fuck sungchan. or to have him fuck you. whichever works. 
he’s able to satiate you by spitting on his fingers before bringing it down to your clit, stimulating your bundle of nerves quickly. sungchan stops focusing on thrusting to rotate his fingers on you. he’s so close to being inside of you that you seize around nothing. sungchan presses on your ass and pouts. you close your eyes from the euphoria.
“i can feel you clenching around nothing, baby.” sungchan coos.
you can’t speak anymore, only nod your head and whine when sungchan starts rotating his hand the other way. sungchan kisses your eyelids and you open them. he stares at you intensely and picks up the speed.
“next time can i fuck you?” sungchan asks.
you nod your head. you start lifting your hips and pulling away slightly, the stimulation becoming too much.
“say it.” sungchan says. 
you lock your arm behind sungchans head to pull him closer to you. something about sungchan having to look up to you made you think you were playing the dominant role, but with a simple order you feel yourself folding to become submissive for him. it makes your head spin the way sungchan teases you by pressing into your clit harder.
“yes.” you whine.
sungchan is amused by the way your hips jerk pitifully when he presses a little harder. 
“yes what?” sungchan asks.
he lowers his head further to press his lips to your collarbone. his teeth grazes the sensitive skin and you preen your neck to give him more access.
“yes. you can—oh my god. yes you can fuck me.” you cry.
your mini skirt falls back down over sungchan’s hand and you both look at it. the way sungchan’s hand aggressively moves underneath the splay of your skirt, the tiny wet spot his leaking tip leaves. you lean forward into the crook of sungchan’s neck, whining just for him to hear. his arm that wraps around your back grips your side, so hard you know it’ll leave a bruise.
the view of your ruined mini skirt gives sungchan the vigor to start thrusting upwards again. it’s easier with the hold you have on him, and he grunts into your ear with each rut. sungchan looks forward to the next time it’s just you and him alone in private. it would only come after he takes you on a nice date and asks you to be his girlfriend, of course—he’s a gentleman. but for now he will selfishly chase his pleasure after he makes sure you cum.
“sungchan.” you cry into his ear.
“i know. i know.” sungchan sympathizes.
your nails dig into his skin and your whines hit an octave that they barely make a sound anymore, just leaving you with a slightly open mouth and a heaving chest. sungchan decided then and there that he needs to hear that sound everyday for the rest of his life. 
you can’t even finish telling sungchan you’re going to cum when it happens, your body shaking in his hold. sungchan follows closely behind you, your cum giving his dick more lubrication to slip between your folds. his tip pokes one more time through your hips when your supple skin ripples around him. sungchan quickly lifts your cheer skirt so you can see what you do to him. 
“fuck” sungchan curses.
you pull your body from his just in time. sungchan’s cum gets on your thighs and dribbles down the middle, getting onto his thighs. he continues to curse and moan, hips stilling as his grip on your side tightens. the euphoric view of him below you has you almost ready to go again. you start squeezing your thighs around his length, and you bring your hand to massage his sticky tip. sungchan has to shake his head and hold your wrist to stop you, too sensitive to be touched. 
when sungchan comes down he has to let out a big huff of air, realizing he came from not even being inside of you. he also realizes that he made a complete mess of your thighs, and he still has a death grip on your cheer skirt to keep it from getting stained.
“holy shit my bad,” sungchan loosens his grip on your cheer skirt, putting the wrinkled fabric in your hand. “hold this let me get you something.”
sungchan guides you to sit on the trunk while he gets up. he wastes no time tucking himself back into his underwear and jeans, not caring about the droplets of cum on himself. he looks around shotaro’s room for anything to wipe you with. sungchan ends up grabbing. damp towel hanging on the back of shotaro’s chair.
while sungchan cleans you up you focus on the top of his head. now that the moment is over it is awkward, you don’t know what to say when sungchan is done with wiping your skin. he doesn’t know either, looking at your closed thighs and the mini skirt you have clutched in your hand.
“did i get it all?” sungchan asks.
when he looks up at you his ears burn a bright red, and you have to quickly look away. you suddenly can’t look at sungchan in the face, focusing on random things in shotaro’s room. you look at handle of his closet when you nod your head yes.
“okay. good.” sungchan says awkwardly. 
he grabs your panties and sweatpants off the ground and helps you into them, guiding your feet through the openings. you don’t know why you feel like you’re drained of all your energy, you think actual sex with sungchan would put you into a coma. the way he is extremely gentle when putting your sweatpants back on you makes your heart want to explode in your chest. somehow this is more intimate than when he was fucking himself between your thighs. 
when sungchan pulls you up from the trunk it takes a moment to regain stability in your legs. they feel like jello underneath you and you wobble for a second. when you’re upright sungchan does the same with your bra and shirt, helping you into the garments. your shirt smells like him now, and you keep catching whiffs of the smoky vanilla fragrance sungchan wears. he holds onto you until you give him a quick smile that lets you know you’re alright. you hate that he lets go a little too fast, hands clenched at his side. 
“should we talk—”
sungchan can’t finish his sentence before ryujin slams open the door. it startles you both, pulling you from the very important conversation you two were about to have. ryujin’s expression is serious as she looks past you and out shotaro’s window. you turn and can hear the familiar sound of police sirens and the blue and red lights flashing. ryujin looks back to you, not sparing sungchan a second glance.
“shotaro’s stupid fucking neighbors called the cops. we gotta go.” ryujin says.
you grab your varsity jacket from the edge of shotaro’s bed and look at sungchan one last time. he opens his mouth but nothing comes out. you stand there for a moment, not heading towards the door.
“karina is already waiting outside. come on.” ryujin says.
you reluctantly pull yourself away from sungchan and head towards the door. when you get to ryujin in the doorway you look her up and down. she looks more mussed than you, her sweatshirt inside out with lipstick stains around her lips.
“how’d you know i was here?” you ask.
“lucky guess,” ryujin finally looks to sungchan, who stands in the same place you left him. “bye sungchan.” ryujin says in a singsongy voice.
sungchan doesn’t even get the chance to say bye back before ryujin slams open the door. he can hear you two and the rest of the party running around, trying to evacuate shotaro’s house as fast as possible. sungchan should also probably leave through the backdoor if he doesn’t want to get in trouble with the law tonight. but he can’t seem to move as he tries to comprehend what just happened.
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tadpolesonalgae · 2 months ago
Text
Dizzying Kisses
Feysand x reader
a/n: this started out so wholesome idk what happened 😭
warning: love at first sight trope; smut; f/f/m threesome; facesitting; oral (everyone); overstim; cumplay—Rhys using reader’s mouth like a shot glass 
word count: 5,491
——————————————————————————————————————————————
It takes a bit of effort to unstick your eyelids from your lash line, but you eventually manage, rubbing at the sleep that’s crusted itself into an abrasive adhesive. 
The sheets beneath you are soft and smooth, fragranced with something like vanilla and jasmine, a faint citrusy scent clinging to its edge and you wearily peer about, vision slightly blurred by a sleep addled brain. 
Early morning sunlight has painted itself across the floorboards in a watery shade of cool-toned yellow, the diamond shaped panes of the glass windows casting thin, zigzagging shadows. The duvet itself seems to be cream covered, nestled beneath a rouge-rimmed quilt, stitched together with patches of dawn-pink, aquamarine-blue, dusky-orange, and tyrian-purple. Four wooden beams uphold the fabric draped overtop the bed, the curtains a shade of burnt orange on the interior, with a dark-red outside that has panels of maroon gossamer thinly veiling the material. A slight frill of burnished gold accents the hem.
A latch clicks from the far right side of the chamber, and you glance away from the window, blinking rapidly to clear away the fog as a female peers her lovely head around the door. 
Not just any female, though. 
You stiffen, hastily scrambling to sit straighter in the bed as you dip your head in a swift bow. “High Lady…” 
She smiles, entering the room, her slipper-clad feet softly scuffing as she approaches. “You’re awake,” she notes, and you flush when she lays her palm across your forehead. “And better, by the looks of it.”
You blink, looking up at her quietly. “My Lady…?” 
“Feyre,” she corrects, blue-grey eyes twinkling with life. “Please call me Feyre.” 
You watch her silently for a second, attention flitting across her features for a clue to your circumstances—are you in her home? But you dip your head again, obeying her request. 
Her eyes soften, and she pulls her hand away, your brow feeling faintly cool in its wake. “Do you remember last night?” She questions, and you shake your head, unease building in your gut as you worry your lower lip. Tuck your teeth away again. 
Feyre hums to herself, her attention briefly skating over you, having not given herself the chance to beforehand. Skimming over your shoulders, the rumpled fabric of your night-gown, the soft roundness of your fingertips. How they’re dipping into the folds of the duvet. “You kissed me,” she says, glancing down at you, lips still curved gently. Mortification sets your skin ablaze, a delicate flame igniting in your flesh. “I— I kissed you?” You stammer, clutching the sheets as your fingers lock. 
“Well, you kissed both of us, actually,” she corrects. 
Your lips part with a sharp inhale, looking aghast. Deeply apologetic. “I— I’m so sorry, my Lady. I don’t know what must have come over me. Please, forgive—”
“We aren’t angry,” she interjects, holding you gaze firmly. She pries your left hand from the quilt, fingers warm and delicate beneath your own. “I believe it was a mistake on your part—the first time at least. Shall I show you? It may jog your memory.” 
There’s nothing much for you to do besides nod, vaguely relaxing back into the padded headboard as she plies open your mind, slipping inside with ease. 
The music is up-beat, strings playing a merry tune while the faelights shift in colour over head, panels of stained glass being slotted over them to give the illusion of the lights themselves changing. 
I turn my head when I feel weakened fingertips seek out my wrist, gripping gently, only to be met with soft, faintly trembling lips being pressed to my own. I recognise the hint of the illegal drug almost immediately, and my eyes widen in time to watch as the female flinches, recoiling sharply. 
At my back, my mate is swiftly approaching, a sure and familiar presence sweeping across the floor. It seems the female has enough sense left in her to recognise the thrumming power of the High Lord that’s already begun seeping across the floor in warning, other fae bodies instinctively making way so as not to catch his brewing mood. 
Instead of cowering though, the female before me seems to panic briefly, before unsteadily tottering forward, making it just close enough to push onto her tiptoes and press a kiss to the High Lord’s jaw, before her legs give out and I’m catching her as she falls back, body limp. 
Surprised violet eyes meet my own, brows raised as he glances down at the female passed out in my arms, head tipped to the side, laying across my breast. 
Your lips are parted wider than they were last, but you don’t shut them. Instead panicking as the memories filter back into your mind, along with a faint pound of a growing headache. “I’m sorry,” you repeat, words tumbling in a frantic wash. “I— I remember seeing what had happened, and I had worried he might think I was trying to— So I wanted to kiss him to show I didn’t mean— Gods I’m so sorry.” An embarrassed flush heats your skin, simmering wickedly just below the surface of your flesh, head dipped in misery and shame. 
“It’s perfectly okay,” the High Lady assures, squeezing your fingers. “I want you to know the male who drugged you has been found and dealt with—he will not be repeating his actions. We also had our healer check the concentration in your blood to make sure you were okay, and thankfully all you needed was a good night’s sleep to get everything out of your system.”
You flush, glancing to where she’s cupping your fingers, then looking at her again. “I’m still sorry for kissing you—both of you—even if there were external pressures…”
Feyre blinks slowly, her smile losing an ounce of its warmth. Barely noticeable, really, but you feel it. “Do you regret it?” 
“I regret causing you discomfort, my L—” Her eyes harden, and you flush. “…Feyre. And your— and for kissing your mate…” 
“And what about on your end?” She asks, tone softened only a little. You look at her questioningly but are unable to read the emotion in her blue-grey eyes. Cunning but deliberately blank. “Do you regret kissing either of us for your own discomfort?” 
“No!” You speak hurriedly. “It’s an honour. I mean, hopefully that doesn’t make you upset to hear. I simply mean, to have been so close with either of you. I’m just so sorry I did what I did… How I did it…” 
“You would have done differently had you been sober?” She asks, her hold tightening on your fingers, pulling your hand closer into her body. 
You hesitate, fumbling. Glancing where her digits have begun twining with your own. 
Feyre follows your gaze, and sighs, hands settling to the bed. 
“My mate and I are divided on the matter,” she tells you, voice lowering to a hushed murmur. A guilty tug on her pretty pink lips. “He would rather give you space and time to warm up to us, since this meeting has happened so fast.” Fingers again squeeze your own, and she looks up at you with a glimmer in her heavy gaze. “But I’ve been on the end of that before, and hadn’t been pleased with his choices.” 
You scan her features, trying to fit together the pieces but have the distinct feeling you’re missing something crucial. A fragment of memory that perhaps hasn’t yet allowed itself to resurface. Eyes flit to the curl of her digits between your own. 
“I’m sorry, I don’t think I understand?” 
Feyre pauses in thought, then she presses her hand to your cheek, unlacing it from your fingers. Breath flutters in your chest as your High Lady leans in, her head tilted enough so her lips might slant diagonally across your mouth, and a faintly wavy lock of hair slides from her shoulder, tickling against your collar bones. You can feel each faint exhale. Mark how her pupils dilate, lashes flickering as she glances down at your mouth. 
Your breath catches as something tugs at your rib, a small, tender thread wrapped around the delicate bone. 
“Did you feel that?” Feyre questions, thumb stoking the curve beneath your lip, eyes following with each swipe. “What…what was…?” 
It happens again, and your lungs stutter, mouth parting in awe as you stare at her. 
You worry over voicing your thoughts for fear of reaching the wrong conclusion and only worsening your predicament. To be as brazen as to suggest a possibility that would defy logic and reason, when it’s likely fuelled by your own desires… 
Feyre lays her mouth over your own, the flavour of her lips slightly musky with a hint of berry, and you wonder if she delighted in fruits for breakfast. Perhaps would like to swipe your tongue across the seam of her mouth to taste more of her. To sample more of this delicacy you’ll surely never have the chance of trying again. 
A heady sound echoes in your Lady’s throat when you follow through with your fantasy. Her fingers dig into the soft underside of your jaw, both hands cupping your face to leverage her mouth closer, capturing your lower lip between her teeth and tugging on it gently. She’s close enough you can feel the faint flutter of air that her lashes bat your way. 
Blue-grey eyes simmer with heat as she watches you, thumb stroking across the crest of your cheek before falling to the side of your neck, fingers sifting through strands of hair. With great attentiveness, she strokes her tongue across your own, her heart jumping when your body jolts lightly from the intimate touch, a lovely soft sound captured in your throat. 
Her hands begin to wander. 
At first it’s her thumb skimming across your throat, then she’s grazing her fingertips along the ridge of your collarbone, and then before you know it she’s trailed those nimble digits further, tracing the curve of your breast, knuckles skimming beneath the soft, feminine weight. Your lashes flutter against her cheek, before you’re pulling away to gaze down at where she’s touching you. 
Feyre watches intently to see what you make of the touch. Heat warms your cheeks and your lips part on a trembling inhale, spine curving in an offer—one she’ll contentedly accept. The soft pad of her second finger teasingly circles your covered nipple, before clasping it between the sides of her index and middle finger, rolling. Your breathing deepens, sinking down into the pillows, subtly urging her to lay herself over you. 
It’s when Feyre’s knee is pressing between your thighs, her faintly wavy hair ticklishly brushing your exposed skin—where she’s unbuttoned your night gown to bare your breasts to her—that a firm set of knocks are delivered to the door, a warning rather than a request. Your eyes fly open, arms instinctively slapping across your chest to conceal your breasts, nipples sensitive, and freshly-licked. 
Violet eyes calmly take in your own, and the night comes rushing back, how you’d kissed his mate—accidentally, but it had happened nonetheless—then pressed your lips to his own skin, too. 
You open your mouth to apologise, but Feyre’s talented fingers have linked around your wrists, and you squirm when she pushes them aside, so they sink into the pillows you’re lying on. Expelling a gasp from your lips. 
“Looks like the two of your are becoming well acquainted,” the High Lord muses, stepping into the room, pausing beside the bed, gazing down at you with interest. “Do you mind my being here?” He asks, and you realise he’s bothering to question you. It makes sense, you suppose, you just hadn’t considered it. You flush, but shake your head, lungs stuttering when Feyre returns to your breasts, circling the hardened tip of her tongue over the peak of your right nipple, allowing a small amount of saliva to build before letting it unspool onto you, before repeating the circles. 
“You look to be enjoying her mouth,” Rhysand muses, raising the backs of his fingers to gently skim your cheek, thumb idly swiping the corner of your mouth, dipping to the hollow beneath your lower lip. “Are you?” 
Your flush deepens, thighs squeezing together against Feyre’s knee at the softly intimate touch, something fluttering beneath your ribs from the gentleness of the High Lord’s caress. Teeth pull at the interior of your lip, struggling to get a hold of the wild heat they’re igniting in your lower belly, a tingling feeling spreading between your thighs. 
“Getting shy now?” Feyre coos, unlatching from your nipple much to your dismay. “You were perfectly talkative before… He’s not as scary as he looks.” 
“Scary?” Rhys parrots under his breath, a note of incredulity to be found. Feyre raises an eyebrow as she glances over him, as if challenging him to disagree. But his lips fashion themselves into a mischievous, feline grin, capturing your chin with his fingers, directing your gaze upward to face him. “Would I be less scary without all these clothes on?”
Your face burns, lips parting on a softly stunned inhale, staring up at him in slight bewilderment, his words alone giving rise to a series of involuntary images careening through your mind before you can stop from conjuring them. 
“Rhys,” Feyre scolds, “you’re overwhelming her. She doesn’t know what to do with all that.”
“We can show her.” 
“Rhysand,” Feyre warns, but you can tell it’s playful. You want her attention back on you, sliding a little further down in the pillows so her knee is pressed closer between your legs. Blue-grey eyes mark the shift immediately, and you flush at having been caught, grip tightening in the sheets as you find elsewhere to look. Her rosey lips curve, leaning closer until they’re barely brushing your own, a twinkle of mischief in her eyes. “Something you want, birdie?” 
You inhale at her proximity, spine stiffening from how close she is, how bare you are beneath her. How exposed. 
You incline your chin almost imperceptibly. 
Feyre smirks, and leans in, once again sealing her lips over yours, and you think she must be a slice of heaven. Your hands depart from the sheets, travelling up her thighs to her hips, spanning her delicate waist. Her hair tickles your shoulder, trailing away when Rhys’s fingers shift the curtain of silky hair, pushing the locks gently out of the way so he can see how his wife is kissing his…
A small noise is captured between your mouths when something tugs at one of your ribs, a delicate thread being plucked that has you jolting. Pulling away. 
“A second mate is unheard of,” Feyre murmurs, looking at you with a mixture of awe and disbelief. “And yet here she is,” Rhys finishes, making you blink, glancing between the two. 
“You said you were honoured,” Feyre continues, drawing your attention back to her. “Are you still of the same mindset?” You stare at her, comprehension dawning as you accept your belief as truth, fantasy merging with reality. “What she’s asking,” Rhysand clarifies, allowing his fingers to fall from Feyre to graze across you collar bone, tracing upward to your jaw, brushing your cheek, “is will you have us.”
“Yes.” It’s softer than a whisper, shorter than a breath, but they feel it. Feel the acceptance without reluctance or hesitation. Falling into their arms.
Feyre’s eyes go briefly hazy as it clicks into place inside of her, a flush of colour rising to her cheeks with biological satisfaction. “Good,” she breathes, “perfect.” 
Her scent has shifted, floating over to you, and instinct tells you exactly what it means. When her blue-grey eyes return to yours, they’re dilated; hungry. Information you should have no access to flowing into your body, innately understanding their states of being. 
“How are you feeling?” Feyre asks, voice huskier than before, dragging with arousal. A heat has begun sprouting in your body, beginning to simmer and bubble, more prominently than before, abruptly taking off. You swallow. Nod your head. 
“What you’re feeling,” Rhysand supplies smoothly, the only one able to grapple with the biological instincts urging you together as the one who understands it the most, “is the effects of the mating bond clicking into place. Since our bond,”—he gestures between him and Feyre— “is already set in place, the symptoms will make themselves known much more swiftly, while yours may take a few hours or even a day to reveal themselves.” 
Right. The frenzy. 
You flush. 
“Do you—” Feyre swallows, cutting herself off before trying again, having to wet her lips, “do you want to join us?” 
“Join you?” You’re breathless. 
“I’m sure we’ll be able to manage between us, if you would like to rest,” Rhysand supplies, though you have the impression it strains on him to give that safety net. As if reminded of the option, Feyre’s eyes flick to him, hungrily tracing the cut of his figure, watching with a heavy-lidded gaze. You shift your hips against her knee, and they return to you. 
In your periphery Rhysand readjusts his trousers. 
“Will you?” She breathes, her hand rising from the mattress, shifting her weight to her other arm to allow her fingers to coast upward between your breasts, playing with the dip of your collarbone, tracing the outline. “We’ll be careful,” she assures, fingers now tracing across your lower lip, transfixed as her instincts call for her to strip you bare, explore the flavour of your mouth and skin; the taste between your legs. 
“We could start with just one of us?” She tells you, your heart fluttering wildly as her words drip over your skin. “You and me first…”
“Greedy,” Rhys mutters.
“Rhys can watch,” she amends. “We can play in my and his bed—it’s much larger than this one—and I could start with these…” You gasp when she lowers her hand to your breast, circling your nipple with a feather-light touch, tugging on it gently. “Then we could move further…” Feyre takes your wrist in hand, moving to straddle your hips as she brings your palm to her chest, watching you intently as her spine curves into your touch. “And you could try touching me, if you like…? Would you like that? Wouldn’t that be nice?” 
“She needs a chance to respond, Feyre,” Rhys chuckles, leaning against one poster of the large bed. She peers at you intently, rocking her hips almost subconsciously. “You’ll feel so good,” she whispers, bringing your other hand to cup her breast so you have both palms over her. “What do you think?” 
Your flush deepens, looking away, and you can feel Feyre’s grip loosening, crestfallen. 
“I…” You swallow, finding her gaze again, her expression attentive, then glancing briefly over Rhys, nerves wriggling beneath your skin before you look away again, peering at the floor. “I don’t want Rhys to feel left out…” 
You inhale sharply at the stark arousal that blares down the bond, your thighs squeezing together in response, Rhys shifting as he takes down a steadying breath. A noise escapes your throat with the staggering awareness the bond is affording you, able to feel their hunger in your bones, perhaps also affording you a little more confidence than usual. 
“We’re all mates, aren’t we?” You ask, glancing skittishly between them both. When they nod, you continue. “So I’d like…I think it would mean more to be with both of you…all together.” 
————
They make you so dizzy. 
The soft press of Feyre’s narrow lips dragging up the length of your throat, nipping at spaces below your jaw, licking over the bite marks they’ve each put into your skin, forgetting which ones belong to who; the heavy drag of Rhys’ fingers as they dip along the interior of your thighs, palms cupping the round curve of your knees only to slip beneath and delicately raise both legs to your chest; the heat of watching clothes fall to the ground, buttons coming free and ties being loosened, hair pushed back over delicate shoulders and sterling silver bands removed from scar-flecked fingers, flexing before they settle into the rhythm of touch. 
You crawl after Feyre as she pulls away, pushing her second and middle finger to your lips to still you, her own mouth curving with feminine satisfaction. And now the question she’ll ask: “Who do you want next?” 
How many times have they taken turns making you answer that question. How many times have you shamelessly given an answer. How many times have they satisfied your desire only to ask again, “Who do you want next?” 
Always a next; never an end. 
You whimper, clit puffy and sensitive from relentless stimulation, pleasure budding through your body, liquid gold buzzing beneath your skin. How many more touches can you take? 
“Answer me,” Feyre coos, fingers slipping beneath your chin to incline your lips, leaning forward to almost meet you. “Who do you want next?”
“Feyre…” You’re nearly crying, so turned around, so dizzy. So desperate for movement and friction. “Please…” The High Lady beams, cupping your cheeks between her palms and pulling you close enough your noses touch, “mhmm? You want me?” 
“Please…” 
“How do you want me?” Feyre crawls closer, her knees touching your own, “Tell me how you want me.” Your lips part, cheeks flushing. Tongue shifting against your teeth. You’re too embarrassed to tell her. 
Tender claws scratch at your mind, and your walls give a few moments later, tentatively lowering enough for her to slip inside and nestle with you. Watching the image you present her with. 
Blue-grey eyes glitter with hunger, her mouth popping open, blinking away her surprise before grinning. “I didn’t think you’d be so dirty,” Feyre purrs, palms wrapping around your waist to pull you with her as she falls back into the bed, walking you up her body. 
“Are my girls done scheming?” Rhys asks from behind you, effortlessly sending a hot shiver up your spine. His voice alone contains enough power to make your knees buckle. And, my girls. You and Feyre. He’s seeing the two of you together. 
You rest your hands on the headboard, leaning forward enough that Feyre can grin at her mate from beneath you, “We’ll always be scheming, High Lord.” Her legs open, and your mouth waters. “Think you can keep up, Rhys?” 
“Always, for you.” Feyre’s hands begin to loop over your hips to pull you down but Rhysand reaches forward and you gasp when you feel his thick fingers skating up the line of your spine, hairs prickling as you shiver. “You, too,” the High Lord purrs, pushing your hair to one side so he can reach the top of your spine. Your throat closes up, heart fluttering as those deft digits descend down the knots of your back. Stiffening in anticipation when he pauses at the base. “Turn around,” he instructs, clearly. “I should be able to see you, too.” 
The hot breath of Feyre’s moan caresses your inner thigh, and you tighten around nothing. With flushed cheeks you slowly turn, careful of the female lying beneath you. 
Violet eyes glimmer with starlight, and millions of tiny, fluttery wings erupt into motion between your thighs. 
“Better,” he says, quietly. A faint smile on his soft mouth. “Now sit.” 
You part your legs, shakily sinking down onto Feyre’s mouth, Rhysand keeping your eyes locked with him—watching as you settle, watching as your hands find placement on her breasts, watching as Feyre licks up through your centre and you shudder. An adoring smile half-lifts one edge of Rhysand’s lips, his irises softening at their edges as he marks the pleasure unfolding within you. Only then do his thumbs press into the meat of Feyre’s thighs, finding the divot at the interior of her knees to hold them apart, aligning himself, and sliding in. 
You can’t help the way your mouth waters. 
Rhys catches you staring and leans himself forward, grinning as you flush with embarrassment, “Wishing that was you?” 
Your lips part, eyes darting away but he grips your chin lightly, forcefully guiding your gaze back to his. He leans closer and you shudder as Feyre’s lips wrap around your clit, suckling tenderly. Rhysand’s hand cups the nape of your neck, and wild heat fills your skin as he slowly licks over your bottom lip, the tip of his tongue dragging over the bitten area to drag lightly over your top one.  You’re frozen stiff, completely at his mercy. He chuckles, like he finds your awe amusing. Lightly appreciative of your reverence. 
But then he kisses you once on the lips and pulls back, both palms falling to Feyre’s waist, his thumb grazing over the beauty mark that lies a little to the left of her belly button. His hips draw back and slide in, Feyre’s back arching when he meets her all the way, hips held tight to her own. You can’t help the way your fingers fall to graze over her abdomen, able to see the prominent outline of the High Lord nestled within his mate. 
He’s been inside you the same way he’s inside her. 
You have to lick your lips. 
“Move,” you whisper, circling your hips over Feyre’s mouth, almost certainly smearing arousal across her lips; the tip of her rosey nose; her chin. The High Lady moans her agreement, inclining her hips from the bed and you watch as the muscles in her thighs and stomach flex. Feline grace contained within her flesh. You want to taste every part of her you can. 
Rhys begins slowly, languidly moving inside of her, rolling his hips so he slides all the way in to his base. Soon enough he sets their pace, and your eyes nearly roll with the pleasurable warmth that’s being delivered to your body, fizzling and fluttering throughout. Heat is prominent on the High Lord’s cheeks, tan skin flushed with colour and you’re all so sensitive but needing of more that release is swift and fulfilling. Bright flashes of pleasure zipping down your thighs, bursts of heat fluttering in your lower belly, warm-pink flame heating and heating until you’re boiling and bubbling over. 
Rhys grits his teeth, likely trying to cope with the pleasure of Feyre’s orgasm, and you can’t help yourself. 
You lean forward, cunt still seated on the High Lady’s mouth, your palms sloping up his well-muscled chest to wrap over his shoulder to push your lips together, tongue licking against him, tasting him, devouring him. The High Lord’s control splinters, then fractures entirely, a groan of pure, male pleasure delivered to your mouth as he releases deep inside his mate. You want it to be as drawn out as possible, for him to fill her up as much as he can, until she’s dripping. 
It’s only when he’s panting, breathless and with his head lowered that you know he’s finished. 
Teeth prod into your lower lip, fresh arousal dripping from your cunt, cleaned away by Feyre’s tongue. Her fingers drum ticklishly over your thighs, knowing what you’ve been waiting for. You can practically see the smug, satisfied grin on her rosey lips. 
The combined effort of the both of you has you taking her place on the bed in mere seconds, lying on your back with a blinking Rhys now positioned between your thighs. Feyre mounts your mouth like she’s descending onto her throne, thighs parted and facing you so she can run her fingers through your hair. 
Rhysand freezes when he understands what’s going on. Then his warrior’s hands have shackled your ankles and you’re roughly dragged down the bed, swept out from under your mate and you whine, crying out and reaching for her. But there’s heat in his eyes, a wicked smile on his mouth, mischief and hunger twinkling between the starlight. “I did all the work, darling,” he rumbles, the words rough and gravelly from his chest. “The least you can do is let me watch.”
You flush as you’re repositioned: half-way up the bed with Feyre hovering over your face, your mouth open and her legs spread; further up the bed is Rhys, gazing down at you so he can watch every stroke of your tongue, every drip of his cum that’s mixed with Feyre’s own orgasm that you collect on your lips, tasting in your mouth. 
“I should have known what you two were planning,” Rhys drawls, cock hard against his stomach from watching the show. He’s eaten his release out of Feyre before but it’s different watching someone else do it. It’s different having a mate to watch do it. “So dirty indeed.”
“And it was all her idea,” Feyre muses proudly from atop her perch. “You were so shy to show it to me,” she coos. 
“Looks like she’s a wicked one.” Violet eyes flick to Feyre. “She’ll rival you for your mischief.” 
“I think you mean she’ll rival you. You’re the dirty one.” 
Their eyes simultaneously drop, and you flush beneath their attention, hair spread out messily across the mattress, licking Feyre’s cunt whenever you please. Rhys’ fingers trail across your forehead, playing with a few stray strands of hair. “You like that? Tasting us together?” 
You moan softly, licking up and circling Feyre’s clit, causing her to moan. 
Butterflies start fluttering anew when Rhys wraps his hand around his cock, still achingly hard, cum beginning to drizzle down his tip. Your temperature spikes, mouth watering further. Rhys’ eyes twinkle, his mouth curving before he’s shifting onto his knees. “You know,” he muses, looming so comparatively high above you while Feyre keeps you pinned to the mattress, “let’s find out how dirty she is.”
Your thighs have to squeeze together at the blatant lust in his voice, clit pulsing as you rub your legs together.  
Violet eyes meet your own, and you shiver. Rhys grins. “You look pretty happy, down there.” You moan, licking at her hungrily, wanting her to stop hovering and to finally just sit. His hand continues stroking himself to the sign, up and down, slowly building his pleasure again. There isn’t much time you need to wait—you’re all so stimulated, so sensitive to touch. Rhys has to grit his teeth through the first series of strokes before the tension is being released and he’s panting again, muscles flexing in his stomach and forearms. 
“Think you can take some more?” Rhys groans, and you watch with desperate eyes as a bead of cum slips over his head. “Answer me.” 
You nod your head. “More,” you pant, watching him intently. Rhys’ eyes nearly roll, but then yours nearly cross as he shifts his hips, the tip of his cock nearly bumping into Feyre’s clit. He’s intending to finish straight into your mouth. 
You can’t help it, then. Your hand lifts from the bed and trails down your body, fingers slipping between your thighs. It’s a mix between painful and perfectly oversensitive, clit hard and puffy beneath your digits that slide right down your centre, two fingers sinking inside yourself and curling. 
It doesn’t take long from there. 
“Gods, you’re such a good girl,” Feyre praises, biting her lip as she palms her breasts, cupping them and thumbing across her nipples. “Isn’t she perfect, Rhys?” 
“So perfect.” He agrees. “So dirty.” 
You whimper in protest but Rhys cocks a brow and you shut up. He smirks. “So good, and so obedient, isn’t she?” 
“Perfect for us,” Feyre agrees, moaning as she circles her hips faintly, seeking the attention of your tongue which swiftly returns to attend to her, flicking over her clit and licking up her centre. “A perfect little mate to play with.” 
Rhys groans, the noise rumbling in his chest as his orgasm finds him at last, release pouring from his tip, shooting down between your lips and filling you up. His hip buck, his fingers flexing around his cock as pleasure pulses through his body, his eyes shutting tight as his muscles tremble. 
The tip of your finger drags back up over your clit and you come undone. 
Feyre watches, utterly content, as her two mates reach completion around her. She can just make out your eyes, half-rolled as your own high filters through your blood. Then there’s Rhys, whose hand is shaking as he pumps himself, hips seemingly moving of their own accord as he tries to keep himself going for as long as possible, throwing himself into overstimulation for the sake of your pleasure. 
She sits happily on your mouth when he’s done, his blue-black hair falling against her shoulder as hot breath fans down her front. 
How lucky they are to have found such a sweet, mischievous little mate to match them. 
——————————————————————————————————————————————
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feysand taglist: @girlmadeofavocados @zara-aliza08
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trendywaifus · 3 months ago
Text
cw: fem! reader, reader works for pubsec, slightly suggestive but it’s just fluff, mentions of one night stands, i swear it’s mutual
—can’t quit you, you’re like drugs !
you rouse from your slumber, lazily moving a hand over your eyes to block out the early sun from getting into them as warm shades of yellow pour through the slightly opened blinds. a soft yawn leaves your lips and you turn to your side, subconsciously stretching your arm out for a certain woman who spent one of many nights with you. once feeling the warm, empty space beside you, you sighed with defeat. what did you expect? that woman always sneaks off and leave before daybreak. you don’t really expect her to stay and it wasn’t like you were in a romantic relationship with the criminology consultant. your interactions with her is purely sexual and full of one night stands.
were you satisfied with that? not really. her touch still tingles on your skin, leaving behind an invisible print that’s starting to find its way under your skin and seep into your bones, softening them. the sweet promises and honeyed words she’d whispered into your ear still stays in your mind, floating around like a cloud. “ don’t tell me i. .” you don’t finish your sentence and ran a hand through your tousled locks.
“ oh, i didn’t expect you to be awake this early, pretty. “ a saccharine voice giggles as the rat thiren saunters into your bedroom, wearing one of your cotton white robes that loosely hugs her well-endowed figure. her fluffy, saber hair is beautifully messy. her feline teal eyes softens with amusement at the puzzled look on your face.
“ well jane, i usually get up around this time. but i didn’t expect you to be, well— “
jane finishes your sentence smoothly as she walks over to the bed and sits down on the soft mattress,“ here? usually i get called a little early than this but, the timing seems to be different this morning. “
“ i can see that. “ you mutter, “ but why are you still here? “
she chuckles, grabbing her compact vanity mirror to check herself out. she uses the mirror to fix her bed head, smoothening out the wild strands with her hand.“ i just told you, silly girl. what, you don’t want me here? aww, i’m hurt. “ you can’t tell if she’s offended or not but you fall for it anyways.
you stammer, “ i-i do—that’s not what i meant! i mean regardless if they haven’t called you for a new case to operate on yet, i’m saying why are you still here with me? i assume you have things to do and you seem to be a very busy woman. “
jane titters, closing her compact vanity mirror and places it on the nightstand. “ i’m not as busy as you might think, “ there’s a fond glint in her eyes as she lays down with you, propped up on her side. her long tail sways in a relaxed manner while she speaks honestly, “ i’m just a woman who does side jobs. when you call, i beckon. “
“ yeah, at night. “
she merely smiles, resting her cheek against her palm while her hand reach out to brush the strands of hair away from your eyes. her gesture was affectionate and gentle, inducing a warm feeling inside your belly. “ it doesn’t always have to be that way, darling. things doesn’t have to be strictly sex. truthfully, i want more but i’m just being patient due to our demanding work field. “
you fall silent, processing her words. your gaze pools into hers, searching for any signs of deceit. jane doesn’t shy away from your skeptical gaze, instead, she challenges it. her lips spreads wider, her upper, subtle rat-like incisor teeth peeking through her easy smile. after a few moments of staring, you finally broke the eye contact with a shy expression marinating on your face. at least you know you’re not the only one who got attached.
“ . . .i also wa—“
a melodic ringtone from your phone abruptly cuts you off. you sigh with annoyance, reaching over to grab your phone from the nightstand on your side. “ it’s seth. “ you grumble, (e/c) eyes glossing over the caller id.
“ oh, that cat boy? i met him during my last case, he’s quite. . “
“ the naive hero boy. i know, that boy’s my partner. give me a moment jane.”
you answer the call, bringing the device to your ear. “ hey kiddo, you need something? “ you ask sweetly, ignoring jane’s fingers idly playing with your free hand.
“ uh, good morning (name)! i don’t mean to bother you but captain zhu yuan is requesting your presence for an emergency meeting she’s holding in two hours. “
huh? “ emergency meeting in two hours? ugh, does that woman know i’m off today? what’s it about, seth? “ you groan.
“ w-well, it’s about the new missing person cases that’s been increasing recently. there’s been a report of a group of college students going missing around the metro station just last night. there’s also been a immediate search party team sent out to look for them all over the area and around the city but nothing came out of it! “
your eyes widen in shock. jane, who can hear your conversation, hums in surprise.
“ that’s ridiculous! and nobody found them? i’ll be over there in an hour, don’t worry. i’ll see everyone when i get there, yeah bye. “ you ended the call with a heavy sigh.
“ that’s quite the emergency you got there. I heard about those cases in my department, it seems to have gotten worse in just under a week. “ jane notes with concern in her voice, watching as you sat up against the headboard, hugging the covers over your chest.
“ i’m sorry jane, it seems like i’m the one that has to be leaving early. we can continue our previous conversation sometime tonight or after the meeting. “ you cast her an apologetic look, reaching out to grab her hand and squeezed it. she shakes her head, bringing your hand up to her lips and kissed one of your knuckles. “ it’s fine, i’m actually expecting an agent to call me about it too. “
you shake your head with disapproval. “ wh-what? they shouldn’t be hiring consultants when people are going missing! we don’t even know who’s causing this—that’s like using you as bait! when seth explained me to what that razor guy had done to you a few days ago after the operation, i honestly was ready to lose my position over you. ”
jane blinks in shock, taken back by how much you truly care about her. her ears flutter, siren green eyes turning almost doe eyed. the earnest look in your eyes reminded her of seth when he stood up for her against razor. was everyone in the criminal investigation response team so honest? she recovers, chuckling at your confession.
“ you really are a sweetheart. you actually do care about me, huh? “ she tease with a mischievous smirk, you roll your eyes.
“ of course i do, i don’t just have consistent sex with someone i don’t care about, jane. “
“ is that so? maybe i should of figured that out a lot sooner when you’d always want me to kiss you after i ate—“
you abruptly cut her off, “ please woman. i’m trying to be serious here. anyways, “ you gently free your hand from hers and cradle her cheek with your palm. the rat thiren instinctively lean into your tender touch, soft turquoise hues staring into your own. “ if you feel like you’re in any danger that you can’t get out of, don’t hesitate to contact me personally at any time. if you can’t contact me, i’ll find you myself. i know that you’re amazingly strong and you can hold your own but that doesn’t mean i don’t want to prevent the chances of you getting hurt if i can. i can’t stand someone i love risk their life, that’s why i became an officer. “
you seal your words off by placing a passionate kiss on her plump lips. jane immediately kiss back with just as much ardor. you feel a smile press against your lips but you don’t pull away—you don’t pull away until your lungs are screaming for oxygen. finally, you break the kiss and rest your forehead against hers. jane whispers her promise back to you,“ and if you need me, i’ll be there for you too. even if we’re in different divisions and departments, i have my ways of coming out of the shadows to help you even when you at least expect it. “
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