#nicole is a brave woman

[link-sans-specs]

Oh, I'm good with a knife. Great with a knife, Nicole. Can I have a knife?

Mythical Kitchen

Rhett vs. Link Cooking Challenge

[literaryvein-reblogs]

How to write diva like characters, like blingy, dramatic, cool asf characters. I feel we don't talk about socialites and PPL like these but I do wanna put them as a main character

Writing Ideas: Diva Characters

a list of related tropes

The Beautiful Elite: They aren't just beautiful looking. In addition to being healthy and fit, with beautiful skin and hair, their whole life is beautiful. They are more fashionable than anyone else, more sophisticated and charming than anyone else, and are usually both rich and socially powerful. Their clothes are all way too expensive for you to ever own. They live in an elegantly furnished Big Fancy House that is so clean and well organized they look like they are Living in a Furniture Store. They get to hobnob with famous people so much that they may casually refer to them on a First-Name Basis. To a certain degree, this is Truth in Television. In most societies, wealth and attractiveness are highly correlated; the wealthy have much greater access to resources for improving their own appearance, through fitness classes, plastic surgery, healthy food, cosmetics, hairstyling, wardrobe, etc. Moreover, attractive people often have better access to social, financial, and material success, whether through marriage or professional opportunities. And even beyond all that, the very standards of beauty itself, especially feminine beauty, are customarily centered around a demonstration of wealth.

Cosmopolitan Council: The one trait that ties everyone together is that they are all in possession of skill, authority or money, and in excessive amounts. The members will probably be heavily accessorized with gaudy jewelry or a scar to prove their moral alignment. In short, the implication is that each and every member has a varied and storied past… which we very likely won't learn.

Non-Idle Rich: A rich character does a job involving public service (often a cop, soldier, or doctor) despite obviously not needing the pay. Instead, they do the work to help people or for personal satisfaction — or to avoid boredom. They will often have conflict with both their family — who wonder what they're doing down in the muck with the "common people" — and their work peers — who class them sight unseen as a dilettante after thrills. They spend all their time proving themselves.

Socialite: Cultured and rich, and knows how to handle any social situation (or at least upper-class ones).

Socially Scored Society: A setting where everyone's reputation is ranked/scored, and it affects their quality of life.

The Diva: The strong, dark, beautiful woman. She's often a go-getter, chasing stardom, wealth, or just recognition for her talents. If she becomes an Idol, she's not constrained by the pressures of always appearing youthful, innocent, and approachable.

The Prima Donna: An overbearing, egotistical entertainer.

Hidden Heart of Gold: Someone is mean, has become famous for it, and is proud of it, so when they do something nice, they keep it secret.

No Fame, No Wealth, No Service: Places that only let in celebrities.

Old Money: Families that have been wealthy for many generations, and maintain their lifestyle through stewardship of an existing family fortune.

The Sheltered Aristocrat: A character who has lived a life surrounded by luxury and pomp and shielded from the everyday trivialities and mundane issues which the lower classes have to contend with. They see themselves as pure and untainted by the hardships of the outside world, but their Ivory Tower worldview is based on books and tutoring, so they are in for a rude awakening when they leave the castle.

You Are the New Trend: A famous person has his mannerisms copied by everyone.

Examples

Brave New World is one of the most famous examples. A Dystopia where everyone is raised to be a Stepford Smiler, and everyone looks twenty years old (except the Epsilons, the lowest caste; they are barely human).

F. Scott Fitzgerald was fond of The Beautiful Elite trope: Dick and Nicole Diver appear to be Beautiful Elite at the beginning of Tender Is the Night. But deconstructed it in The Great Gatsby, a classic novel that starts off by showing all the glamor of the rich, then revealing the ugly truths behind why some of them are this way. The Beautiful and Damned also starts out with this in play until the main couple's awful life choices start catching up with them.

Elizabeth Roffe in Sidney Sheldon's Bloodline. Despite being able to simply sell her shares of her family's company, she decided to run the company.

George R. R. Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire: House Lannister is the richest and most glamorous of the Great Houses. They are tall, beautiful and golden-haired. Jamie and Cersei Lannister are regarded as some of the most dashing and beautiful members of the nobility. The expected physical perfection of the Lannisters is part of why Tyrion Lannister, a deformed dwarf, is so reviled by much of his own family.

The Park family in Parasite live in a large, isolated house in the middle of densely packed Seoul to symbolize how sheltered they are from the real world. They casually spend large amounts of money with no real thought, as exemplified by how they ask for "ram-don" — which combines two full servings of instant noodles — topped with expensive sirloin steak for a snack. They serve as Foils to the poor Kims, who are of such modest means that they have to fold pizza boxes to try and make ends meet.

Pride and Prejudice's Lady Catherine de Bourgh is a widow of Blue Blood with a vast fortune and huge income. She's nosy, haughty, and extremely meddlesome. She thinks everybody will do what pleases her.

Sleeping Beauty (1959): As a baby, Princess Aurora is given the gift of beauty by the good fairies, as grows up into a lovely young woman.

Darling (1965) is about Diana Scott, a beauteous model from Swinging Sixties London, who gets into multiple romantic entanglements, attends high-profile charity galas, and flies around the world for various jobs. However, her personal unfulfillment, amorality, and disillusionment with the jet set are running themes, and the film ends with her stuck in a marriage to an Italian prince.

Soul (2020): Dorothea is a downplayed example. She's framed as the height of jazz performers, and definitely has sway over who plays and how in her band. She's quick to hire, fire, and challenge her bandmates to keep up. Her experience in the field also gives Joe the advice he needs to hear about the difference between chasing the dream and living it.

The Great Gatsby: Tom Buchanan and Daisy come from old money and high society. It's put in contrast with Jay Gatsby, who is Nouveau Riche and must engage in Conspicuous Consumption to appear to fit in.

Sources: 1 2 ⚜ More: References ⚜ Writing Resources PDFs

Here are some tropes and examples you can use as inspiration. You can find more in the sources linked above. Choose which ones you would like to incorporate in your story. Hope this helps with your writing!

[whoopsyeahokay]

Alphabet Soup

summary: prompt fill. the journey of a clandestine love affair at several stages because Wally Clark craves what he can't have and refuses to keep his hands to himself. and you live for it.

pairing: grey!Wally Clark x fem!reader

warnings: smut. AU - modern setting. romanticized toxic behavior. cheating (not on you). HEA. fluff. egregious use of the word 'baby'.

bon reading, frens

___________________________🧿

Alphabet Soup - Z

Z is for zero fucks to sow—the field barren, the soil bad—when Principal Hartman announces Travis for Prom King.

The music is decent, Braden is being generous with his stash of vodka, and Wally has his favorite girl on his arm, done up in a dress that pivots his imagination into x-rated territory. Why the hell would he shed a tear over a Dollar Tree crown and a dance with Janet's two left feet? Let Travis have her. Recompense for what the bastard tried to do to you in April.

He spends the night with you in his arms, his hands on your ass over your dress on the dancefloor. He joins you and your friends on a crusade to McDonald's around 10PM because Simon underestimated Charley's tolerance and needs the grease to soak up the alcohol. It's hilarious. And real. None of the fake smiles and servile flattery Wally's accustomed to from his peers. Xavier's fucking comedy gold and Nicole is a sweetheart. Rhonda's terrifying and Wally doesn't look directly at her when she speaks, just in case she stabs him with her eyeballs.

As crazy as it sounds, he's pretty sure she's capable of manifesting a plague upon his house if he so much as acknowledges her existence beyond what she sees fit to share.

The point is, hanging out with you and your friends...it's different. Authentic. Nice in a way Wally never thought friendship could be. He pelts fries at Yuri's head when the guy makes a snarky comment about Wally's football glory, but it's done with humor. He laughs and jokes and lets himself be who he's always been on the inside, exposed and honest and bravely open. Because you're there. You've got his back. His heart. His everything. He trusts you so implicitly that he no longer fears judgment or rejection.

What even are you? Surely, you can't be human.

Back in the hotel reception hall, the DJ playing something Wally can grind his hips to, he has you against the wall, lips on your skin, hands under your dress, "Fuck, baby, we need to get out of here." His words panted and eager between kisses that make you melt into him. His suit's suddenly too tight, his body overheated, and he needs you so badly he might snap and do something stupid. Like fuck you right then and there with the class of 2025 for an audience.

Thankfully, at a grown 18, Wally was able to score a room on the top floor with his mama's permission and his dad's credit card. A surprise for his perfect little princess who deserves the whole fucking world and more.

The elevator ride up is thick with anticipation. The old woman and her dog who share the confined space cast you and Wally knowing looks as he tries so hard not to vibrate out of his skin. When he finally gets you alone, the frenzy in him evaporates into slow touches and soft words. He unzips your dress, lips on your shoulder, standing at your back as you watch him in the mirror.

He undresses in stages, kisses intense, disarming, and then gentle and filled with an affection Wally isn't sure won't kill him. It swells in his heart, outward through his body, so big and infinite he almost can't bear it, might explode at the simplest contact. He manages, though, remains intact, leads you into the palatial bathroom to wash and worship every inch of you as you rest between his legs, back to chest, your head on his shoulder.

There was a time not long ago that Wally would've surrendered to his impatience. Entitled and greedy; hot, fast fucks because you and he rarely had time to relax with the looming threat of someone discovering what was going on.

Jesus, he's so grateful that's behind him. That he has you like this. That you let him have you like this. Even after Janet shoved that video in your face in an attempt to ruin Wally's life. He remembers with fondness how you brushed it off, that was before, right?, and Wally nodded, you shrugged, Janet stormed off a loser.

The night extends into the morning and then past checkout, the maid getting an eyefull when she comes into the room to do her job. Her shriek spurs you and Wally out of bed and into last night's formalwear, both you and he giggling like idiots in the elevator, across the lobby, out to Wally's car.

He doesn't want it to end. And it doesn't have to, does it? He realizes, part shocked, part amazed. He can see you later. See you tomorrow. The day after, the day after that, all the way into the future, forever.

His hand on your thigh as he drives, thumb stroking your warm flesh, Wally glances at you and can't hide the love he feels building even higher inside him. You're everything he never knew he needed and he's lucky enough to have found you.

In that moment, Wally promises—to himself and to you—that you're stuck with him. He's never letting you go.

"I'm okay with that," You say so easily it's as if there was never any other option and Wally's just slow on the uptake.

He kisses you deep and thorough at a stop light, leans back with a smile so adoring you blush.

"I love you, sweet girl," He whispers, his forehead pressed to yours, "More than anything."

And, God strike him down the day that stops being true.

🧿___________fin.____________

MASTERLIST

also available on AO3!

alphabetical navigation:

A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

linear navigation:

B T K A F P V R M S D C I J H W N O E X G L Y U Q Z

-🧿-

if you enjoyed this, you may also enjoy Hot For You.

smut. Wally is horny as fuck and can't keep his hands out of his pants. who are you not to help a friend in need?

[jesncin]

Evening! I'm a young chinese/indo american and plan on reading your comic soon, but beyond that I've frankly just been desperate for any decent rep in DC/Marvel - are y'all aware of any comics / comic characters / runs that handle an asian character's background well? I feel like I'm slugging through quagmires braving search results. All of them are just talking about racism but I want the good, and process of elimination feels like a bad strategy. Thank you

Hello fellow Chindo! Thank you for planning to read my book (which obviously I recommend for great Indonesian representation, heheh)! :) They're probably pretty mainstream choices, but regardless! I have a couple of recommendations:

New Super-man: Kong Kenan, written by Gene Luen Yang

This comic run has a bit of a typical start before jumping into some truly refreshing and fun wider worldbuilding! My biggest criticism to Superman legacy characters is that they should expand on his inherently political themes, and they mostly just stay stuck in science fiction silliness. But not Kong Kenan! His world, cast and even powers are steeped in politics and culture, just an absolute treat.

2. Girl Taking Over: A Lois Lane Story written by Sarah Kuhn with art by Arielle Jovellanos

My all time favorite canon reimagining of Lois as Asian (she's specifically Japanese American in this version)! A perfect marriage of Lois' character as a hard working, career-focused, jaded girlie with the struggles of model minority as an Asian American woman. She stands out on her own here without Superman and has a fantastic cast system that builds her character wonderfully. I especially recommend this graphic novel if you were disappointed with the wasted potential of Asian Lois Lane in MAWS.

3. Superman Smashes the Klan written by Gene Luen Yang with art by Gurihiru

Need I say more? I will anyway. This is the best Superman story of all time, to the point it will actively ruin your enjoyment of other Superman stories for you. It seems so obvious to pair Superman's inherently immigrant allegory with that of actual immigrant struggles, especially with an Asian American family- who are perceived as the perpetual foreigner- and yet this is the first time that story really commits to that comparison. A fantastic reimagining of the original radio show arc that actually centers the Chinese American family being harassed by the Klan. My perpetual recommendation to anyone looking for their next favorite superhero story.

4. Shadow of the Batgirl written by Sarah Kuhn with art by Nicole Goux

Okay I haven't read this one yet, but I keep hearing good things about it! And It's written by Sarah Kuhn, who delivered for Girl Taking Over, so I don't doubt she did great here too. I do generally wish Cassandra will get to be written by a Chinese woman specifically since so far she's been written by Japanese writers. No shade to them of course, but I want cultural specifically. Cassandra tends to be in the vaguesian void and that's a disservice to her character.

The way this list is switching between Gene Yang and Sarah Kuhn is telling of the writers I trust haha.

I've got a heavy DC bias so I can't recommend much of Marvel, but I do remember enjoying Kamala Kahn's Ms. Marvel 2014 series under G. Willow Wilson's writing. Kamala is an endlessly charming character, and I don't think the MCU did her justice tbh!

Those are my reccs that I feel pretty confident recommending! I know there's other prominent Asian characters and writers in DC/Marvel, but they're a hit and miss for me.

[girl4music]

The significance and depth of the WayHaught Wedding as an endgame.

There’s something so ridiculously badass about Waverly with her signature shotgun freeing Bobo from prison and then saving the world by blowing up the Homestead barn all the while wearing her Mama’s dress. Especially because this is the dress she ends up getting married to Nicole in - albeit with Waverly modifications. Just the choice to have her in a wedding dress in general while she does all of this was a great one because it shows her growth from a woman that initially tailored who she was to whoever it was she was dating at the time, to someone that ends up looking a demon in the eyes and telling them this:

“Save your partronizing mouth garbage. I can be a hero AND a wife.” - Waverly Earp.

I can’t help feeling that that is at the least in part due to Nicole never asking her to be someone she’s not. That’s what she needed. Someone that could teach her what healthy love and partnership actually felt like. Where she didn’t ever have to be anybody but Waverly even while going through an identity crisis of sorts because Nicole loved her because she was herself.

I’m pretty sure she found it incredibly hot that Waverly could be her crazy ass, brave heroic self while in a wedding dress. That she didn’t have to look the part to play the part. To BE the hero. She’d be so into that. So at the end of the show when Waverly puts that dress on to get married in - it’s a statement of equality and multi-dimensionality. That’s why Nicole was so dumbstruck by her in it. She recognized ALL OF Waverly was who she was marrying. And god damn if she didn’t fall in love with her all over again… because that dress encapsulates EVERYTHING that Waverly is:

A woman. A wife. A hero. An angel. The beauty of Waverly being more than one thing at any one time is true female representation and you know Emily Andras did it purposefully because she was just so sick of having to see one-dimensional queer female characters with no agency in TV art/entertainment.

I love the wedding not just because of what it means for Waverly and Nicole as a beautiful WLW couple but also because of what it means for both individually. What their vows to each other mean. What the choice to have the wedding on the Homestead means. And maybe nobody else has gone this deep into analysis with the wedding as I have - but I just love how much they’re truly depicted as EQUALS at their endgame and that this is the start of their happily married lives together as wives AND as heroes. That’s really cool because a marriage is a partnership of true equality. Meaning you don’t lose who you are as a person when you tie yourself to another person. At least - you shouldn’t. You just become so much more with them than you even knew that you had in you initially.

[misscammiedawn]

Bit (2019) - Queer Reclamation of Stolen Youth

CW: Blood

Bit is a 2019 movie written and directed by Brad Michael Elmore and starring transgender actress Nicole Maines. The story follows a young transgender woman named Laurel visiting her brother in California and being recruited to join a women's only gang of queer vampires.

A group that is ruled strictly by a rigid rule set.

The very first scene makes this clear, introducing the leader of the gang, "full blown fucking dyke" Duke, as she kills a freshly turned male vampire and sentences one of her gang's members to a year in "the hole" for attempting to add a boy to their ranks.

They must all adhere to their 3 rules of operation. The final and most important being:

"No fucking boys." That is to say no boys are allowed to be included in their group... but the literal read is also true. Lesbians only.

The story begins in earnest with the introduction of a main character having just graduated high school in a rural town and about to travel down to spend the summer in LA with her older brother.

During her first scene at a graduation party a drunk classmate approaches her to tell her how brave she is and she retreats to spend a moment with Andy, her sole friend, who implies an attraction to her brother and admonishes her for abandoning him, saying that she is never going to return and that when she finds her people she will likely forget about him.

The movie knows it is queer media for a queer audience. For how much the entire movie is about LGBT themes it often is kind enough to leave things implied. Andy is Laurel's gay best friend in high school and the two of them rely on one another as the only source of queer community in their environment. Andy sees Laurel escaping as abandonment because he knows all too well that she will get a taste of the progressive lifestyle in LA and will never return to their pacific northwest town to go back to masking and hiding. He knows their friendship is over, even if Laurel doesn't yet.

All too often it happens. People never expect it at first but when someone finds their community, their people it becomes impossible to remain in the ponds and pools they were once in. T4T relationships work so effortlessly because there's an entire rich inner language that we have from common experiences that are so difficult to translate to cis friends and yet are inherently understood by others who have lived it. It's not just safety in community it is understanding.

All of this is communicated through vibes. All Andy directly says is "you're going to meet interesting people and you're going to forget about me" and his homosexuality is revealed through a flirtatious comment about Laurel's brother.

Laurel's gender identity itself is only addressed through implications (like hiding her larynx with a shoelace choker that gets mentioned in dialogue a few times) or roundabout statements. The word "trans" is never uttered once in the film.

"Men can't handle power. They have it already and look at what they've done with it." "What about me. [I'm transgender]" "Never even crossed my mind."

"I just wanna say-- what you've done [coming out as transgender] is just so cool."

"People aren't going to be patronizing [about me being transgender], are they?" "People aren't like that here. As much."

"I never stood in the way of you becoming who you are [transgender] but it turns out who you are is a selfish bitch."

I have watched this movie with people who did not realize that either Laurel or her actress Nicole Maines were transgender. I cannot understand how they couldn't see it but they couldn't.

On her first night in LA she goes out to a club to see a rock concert. The movie shows Laurel is defensive, getting violent with someone who invades her personal space and she spots someone (a vampire hunter who suspects her of being in the coven) starring her down. The movie is putting us in the mindspace of a young transgender woman in a new space unable to detect threats. She feels like she is being clocked and targeted by everyone around her.

It's not until one of the vampire gang approaches her that she is able to lighten up. In dialogue they imply recognizing her as queer with "you're not from around here, I can just tell" style dialogue. Laurel is quick to allow herself to be taken away to the vampire's hideout where she gets to be with her people for the first time.

To avoid this being one of those "I just sum up the movie with no analysis" posts I'll trust that those who are intrigued will watch the film and get to the point.

Laurel is fed upon by one of the lesbian vampires and before the kill can happen Duke, the leader, stops it and allows Laurel to complete the transformation into a vampire because she "reminds me of someone I used to know"

She is referring to herself.

A time when she, a 15 year old lesbian, ran away from her midwest home to NYC to find queer community. She notes that even homeless and performing sex work opposed to her preferences, she was happier because she was living free and as herself. She learned how to thrive.

Duke sees in Laurel the same thing she herself lived in the 1970s, directly tying the socio-political landscape of gay youth of the time with trans youth of the modern era. Watching over their shoulder, fearing being targeted, unable to exist comfortably without the safety and understanding of community.

She says it very directly in her pitch to Laurel while inviting her to join the "V-Club"

"We're politically, socially and mythologically fucked. Our roles are secondary. Our body's suspect, alien, other. We're made to be monstrous so let's be monsters. [...] What we offer is not the chance to join a group but to truly be an individual."

The issue of course is, when Duke tells her backstory, she suffered and gained her identity through pain and hardship. She fought to survive and eventually learned how to thrive and then... against her wishes, against her consent... she was slammed back into the closet.

A powerful vampire, Vlad, singled her out and circumvented her agency and made her one of his brides. For decades Duke was stuck living a heteronormative life, having accessed her truth and her community and then been kept away from it.

"It was like I was trapped in my own body. I was aware of who I was, who I used to be, but I could do nothing about it."

After managing to escape from this life Duke seals Vlad's heart and begins to consume it bit by bit.

There is 100% a valid reading of this movie where Duke is a repressed transmasc lesbian. She fears consuming all of Vlad's heart because she fears it will make her "like him" but she is addicted to the power and agency that she feels from consuming him. We later learn that she has been doing to her gang what Vlad did to her.

Duke is terrified of becoming a man and rejects those aspects of herself while continually indulging them. Moralizing on how evil the version of masculinity she perceives in the world is while engaging in those acts herself.

Someone with better media literacy than I would be able to do a fuller read of that.

But the read I focus on is this one:

Duke's youth was stolen from her as she was forced to live a closeted life of abuse by a domineering man and she projects her wishes for those stolen years into how she lives and how she views others. She directly controls the minds of her gang in order to maintain a safe life buffered by stolen power and lashing out at men who remind her in any way of her abuser.

In robbing her group of their agency and pushing them to agree with her, the pain and hatred that she feels becomes that of the entire group. Their sympathies to men are overruled and the space remains closed off and combative. Insular.

She wishes to continue living the highs of her first taste of agency in her life while robbing those around her of theirs. Through fear and a certainty of being right she has effectively become the very thing she despises.

Meanwhile, Laurel, finally living with her community, abandons her roots and neglects the portions of her life that do not relate to her new community which causes her gay best friend to attempt suicide (I do not condone the movie's attempt to make Laurel responsible for this, mind, we have severe issues with any attempt to frame suicide attempts as the responsibility of anyone but the person attempting) and directly nearly kills her brother.

The movie is very much about the vulnerability of solitary queer individuals and the power and comfort that we gain from banding together and finding community but also about how we must not emulate the abusive power structures that we escape from in our quest to find safety in our identities.

It's important that Duke is a hypocrite. The three rules are:

Never glamour another vampire.

Always kill what you eat.

No fucking boys

It's no coincidence that the first rule is not to glamour another vampire. It's how Vlad controlled Duke for decades. She should never wish that fate on anyone else and yet she is so terrified of losing that which she has earned but also because she was terrified of others losing that which they had earned "I did it to make it easier to help you." she says. Her insecurities are projected onto the group and become their dogma.

Duke isn't wrong for her hatred or her fear. She is wrong for not trusting her allies, she's wrong for forcing her beliefs, she is wrong for being the sole arbiter of who is an acceptable member of their community and who is not.

The movie ends with Laurel noting that she pictures a world where everyone is a vampire because then they could all figure their shit out. That people who have power tend to jealousy guard it for themselves but power can and should be shared.

The final scene involves the new vampire group collectively taking portions of Vlad's heart and consuming his power.

Single points of failure are rampant within any community. When a single figure is held up as the entire basis of a group then removing them or discrediting them will always destroy the safety of the space. This is true in every community but it's heartbreaking when it's true in queer spaces.

One person should never be calling all the shots, making their biases become collective prejudice or their traumas become the realities of all within the safety. We all have stories. We all have truths. We all have realities which we need to share and receive acknowledgement and comfort for.

Vulnerable groups should band together and insular thinking will destroy us if we let it.

-

The movie isn't the best by anyone's standards.

But damn if the movie isn't a rare piece of queer media that isn't made for a cis audience. I'll always hype up something like that and make sure it reaches more eyes.

[nicsalazar]

Helping Paw || Felix & Nicole

TIMING: Current LOCATION: Somewhere in Gatlin Fields PARTIES: @recoveringdreamer & @nicsalazar SUMMARY: Amidst the chaos, Nicole finds Felix's jaguar. WARNINGS: Mentions of parental and sibling death.

The columns of fire and smoke rose above tree canopies, tinting the sky with the bright shade of destruction. Preview of what Nicole was to encounter when she reached her destination: An avoidable tragedy, she could only assume. Most times, this was the case. 

When she received the message, Nicole couldn’t stay home. Not while others lost everything. She knew what that felt like all too well. Perhaps, it was why adrenaline ran in her veins as she grabbed her keys and rushed out the door. This time she didn’t have to run, this time she was brave enough to help. Some of her training would have to come in handy, no? 

Her knuckles turned white over the wheel, attempting to maneuver her pickup truck with both speed and caution. Too aware of the wildlife that must be scattered around due to the emergency. With scarce details about the magnitude of the event, it was impossible to know the consequences it could have in the surrounding areas.

She parked where she could find, too far away to get a glimpse of the state of the farm, but picking up on the sirens blaring in the distance. First responders, surely. Or reinforcement, depending on how unrelenting the flames were. Nicole wasn’t an optimist, experience suggested everything but a happy ending for the people who were caught in the fire. 

Nicole trudged through the forest, following the trail of the smoky scent burning her nose, the protective scarf she wore over her face didn't do much. Amidst the chaos, a yowl broke the blaring of distant sirens. At the time, with her senses on high alert, she had no time to pick up on the familiarity. Assumptions were quickly made; Some type of wildcat was running from danger. Nicole froze, reconsidering her path. She knew better than to face a scared feline in her human form. But she could take a detour to the detour she was already taking. Though she couldn’t pinpoint where the sounds were coming from. Between the animal sounds, the sirens, and something else Nicole registered as human screams, she became disoriented. 

—

It had been almost enjoyable, at first. The jaguar was rarely allowed to roam free, especially outside of the strange, uncomfortable building that Felix often trapped them inside, the one filled with little more than violence and pain. The jaguar had enjoyed stretching his legs, enjoyed sinking his teeth into things either not capable of or unwilling to cause damage to him in return. But as the fire raged and the sound of something shrill and unfamiliar filled the air, the feeling of freedom was quickly replaced by an old panic and an instinct to run. 

And so that was what the jaguar did. He turned on his heel, taking off towards the woods, towards the familiarity of the trees. He could find a place to regroup, find a way to get far from all the danger this town had to offer. It hadn’t worked in the past, but perhaps now whatever it was that held him here would disappear. Perhaps now, he’d be allowed his freedom. 

Dirt kicked up behind him as he sprinted away, feeling more and more at ease the further into the trees he retreated. He slowed a little, not quite to a trot but to something below a run. It was difficult to pick up on individual scents; the overwhelming aroma of smoke was overpowering on his sharp senses. He needed to get away from that, too. But… there was something familiar beneath it. Faint, almost hidden, but undeniably present all the same.

Jaguar. 

Not just that, but a jaguar he recognized. The woman, the one he’d met in the woods with the insects. Was she at the farm, too? The jaguar let out a low, uncertain yowl — either a warning or a greeting, depending on who might have been listening.

—

Fuck. She expected the smoke, the flames, the sirens— The echoes of distress too, but adding a feral cat was more than her ears could handle. Logically, Nicole knew how imperative it was to tune out the array of noises attacking her eardrums if she wanted to be able to locate a wild animal ambling around the forest searching for its next meal. In reality, it was a lot fucking harder said than done. She pressed herself against the biggest tree she could find, taking advantage of the low visibility the smoke created to hide herself from what she assumed was a predator. Because she wasn’t the only one being ambushed by stimuli left and right. The sirens became a distant ringing, but the new problem was the blood pounding in her ears. She held her breath, trying to get out of her head, listening for footsteps or the sweep of the animals against the underbrush a snapping twig. Nothing was more unnerving than understanding something was on the prowl without knowing where. 

The spirit within lent a hand. The muscles in her eyes twitched, and Nicole was suddenly capable of taking on the night with supernatural clarity. Thanks, she thought briefly, unsure if that sort of communication worked at all. She looked behind the tree in search of the yowling beast. Amber eyes landed on a shadow, and a familiar cold struck her chest, shutting down the wave of panic oscillating in her chest. The jaguar. Her jaguar. Nicole froze, waiting for a second sign. What did it want? She wasn’t in a situation where she needed to be bailed out yet, she knew her limits. She could handle this. “I got it,” she grunted in annoyance. It probably wasn’t a good excuse to the jaguar, she doubted it was satisfied, but it was hard to sound anything but overwhelmed with the smoke drifting close to the trees, rendering her scarf pointless. 

The inner struggle with the spirit prevented her from focusing on the shadow that brought up her initial reaction. It was there, enveloped in a mist different from the smoke. A second jaguar. Two sets of amber eyes stared at each other and the shoe dropped. It was hard to get any hint of his scent, but… could it be—  “Felix?” She tried, voice muffled. Maybe it was better for her if the jaguar didn’t hear her, though the staring made it obvious that he spotted her as well. She regretted making her presence known. Wasn’t the time to have a conversation with either a hungry jaguar or a scared jaguar. But why was Felix in the woods? Was he hurt? She looked up to the orange sky. Was he involved in the fire? They could be injured— She peeled herself away from the tree and did another stupid, yet brave thing. She faced the jaguar, raising her hands slowly. Cold wrapped around her ribcage again, squeezing air out of her lungs. But this time Nicole understood. Should it become a necessity, the jaguar was ready to come out. No second guessing, they were in agreement.  

—

She said Felix’s name, and the jaguar yowled again, a quiet confirmation. His heart was pounding in his chest, anger and fear forming a dangerous cocktail deep within the belly of the beast. He was… uneasy with the events back at the farm, uncertain what to do now that he was away from them. Certainly, the people there had been a danger to Felix. The jaguar wasn’t sure if they still were. He didn’t know if they were a danger to this other jaguar, either, though he wasn’t sure that that was a thing that concerned him much. If she wanted to run into danger, he didn’t think he’d stop her. But she seemed more interested in him, for the moment.

Cautiously, the jaguar circled her. His eyes scanned the trees around them for threats, searching for anything he might need to dispatch. No one had followed him as he’d fled; he liked to believe it was because they feared them, as they ought to, but perhaps it was a simpler thing. Most people remaining had been wholly concerned with getting themselves free and away from danger. The jaguar wasn’t sure how many were left. He wondered if there was some way to communicate this to the woman before him, to warn her that she’d be walking towards a graveyard if she left here. 

Still seeming uncertain, the animal sat on his haunches, tail curling around his legs as he stared at the woman. Were she human, he would have attacked already, would have torn limb from torso just to see the marvelous explosion of blood as the flesh separated. But the jaguar had been raised among others like himself. He’d played with other cubs at the feet of their mother, protected his siblings when the world stormed the gates of their fortress. Jaguars were solitary creatures, but this one felt some kinship towards others like himself. He wouldn’t attack this balam unless she gave him some reason to do so.

Tilting his head ever so slightly to one side, the jaguar yowled again. Communicating with humans was a difficult plight. The jaguar had never much cared for it.

—

She never liked cats very much. It was somewhat—no, fully ironic, Nicole was aware, given her lineage. But it was no competition, when it came to animals for her: Dogs were vastly superior creatures. Nacho was easy to understand, it wasn’t an exaggeration to say that sometimes, it felt like he understood the world he lived in better than she did. But she was certain, even if she didn’t have the best dog in the world, her feelings on the matter would remain unchanged. Cats, in comparison, were too temperamental for her liking. She appreciated their need for boundaries, but that was it. They were incompatible in every other possible aspect. 

She could never communicate with a cat the way she did with Nacho. Least of all, the balam spirit she carried within. Of course, her shitty luck would have her in the middle of the forest, trying to reach an understanding not with one, but with two at the same time, when everything around them burned to a crisp. She should’ve walked toward the first responders. But she had no time to beat herself up for it when the ground crunched beneath as the jaguar stepped closer. 

The spirit pulsed near her heart, while Nicole didn’t take her eyes off the jaguar circling her. Studying her. Fuck. Despite everything she was confident it wouldn’t attack. Balam were already so rare, she knew the other’s spirit wouldn’t want to bring them closer to extinction. Whether Felix would become a threat or not, there was a more pressing issue; She couldn’t communicate with them like this. She shivered, the scorching heat enveloping the forest contrasting with the cold wrapping around her ribcage. The spirit would know what to do.

Okay. She agreed to this. Right. And with the fire out of control and the flames that threatened to jump in their direction at any moment, the jaguar was the quickest way to safety for her too. 

The jaguar. Would it keep its end of the deal? Just to bring both of them to safety? Or would it seize the opportunity to rip away everything from her again once more? Her body tensed in resistance to the shift. It would only lead to a more painful transformation but— Why would she trust it? She didn’t want to lose four years of her life again. And what if the jaguar released control, but she woke up to a sighting in the news tomorrow? It was an emergency, there would be plenty of witnesses that could come in contact with a tailless jaguar. Rescuers searching for people or animals. Onlookers with morbid curiosity. Would it look to be caught? Did it miss the Zoo? So much for no second-guessing. She should have known it was hard to escape one’s nature. 

It was a matter of communication. And how could Nicole, already painfully flawed at communicating with humans, be any luckier with an animal? She couldn’t do this on her own. She had no time to sit down and decide on the most rational solution. All she felt was the blood pounding in her ears and the cold overtaking her torso. If the jaguar got caught, then at least— It— her friend would be safe from this fire. At least she did something brave before the spirit trapped her in its body again.

She undressed fast, shoving what could be shoved into her backpack. Jacket and pants. On the off chance she was able to return and retrieve it. She needed to come up with a system for the jaguar to carry her shit during shift. Another time—if… if she got one. Her amber gaze focused on Felix, reminding herself why this would be worth it. Through the snap of bones, the tear of flesh and the mist of the spirit seeping past the cracks, Nicole’s jaguar lept to the forest ground. A warming roar cut through the night, conveying what the human counterpart couldn’t: Fire encircled most of the ground, south was the path to safety.

—

This was exactly what he’d wanted. In a sense, the jaguar didn’t realize it until she began to undress, until the faint memory of Felix sometimes doing the same before choosing to shift allowed him to understand the purpose of the woman removing the strange, thin layer of not-quite-fur that humans seemed so fond of. He fell back onto his haunches, sitting and allowing his tail to curl around his body. With the pair of him, he thought, they would be far safer than either individual alone. There were still enemies about, still threats not yet vanquished. The two balam would stand a better chance together. The jaguar knew that.

He lacked the understanding to know that this woman might want him to shift back; in his agitated state, the jaguar had yet to even consider relinquishing control back to Felix. Felix had nearly gotten the pair of them killed, had been on the ground with a knife at their throat when the jaguar took over. If left to their own devices, Felix would likely run back into the fire instead of away from it, their desire to help their friends far greater than any sense of self preservation. The jaguar, for his part, was interested only in saving his skin. Wild animals rarely cared for much else.

The familiar sound of bones snapping filled the air, cutting through sounds of screams and sirens and crackling flames. The jaguar got to his feet once more, the yowl he let loose almost a celebratory thing. One jaguar became two in the clearing, and the one that was Felix’s was pleased with the results.

—

The orange of the night sky reflected on the jaguar’s glimmering gaze as it sprang free. The beast surveyed its unfamiliar surroundings, recognizing it wasn’t back in the zoo, as it longed for. Instead, it found itself in the middle of the forest, where nature welcomed the jaguar back. It wasn’t the comfort of its confinement, but the beast came alive as it felt the wind brush against its fur, ruffling orange and black hues. As it sensed the subtle energy thrumming beneath the ground. As it listened for the sound of birds soaring overhead or the shuffling feet of smaller wildlife. The animal was finally where it always belonged.

The air, however, crackled with a new, ominous energy, and the beast's primal drive kicked in. A threat loomed, cutting its appreciation for nature short. Although not a threat with razor sharp teeth and vicious claws. But with a blaring screech that went on forever, unprecedented lung capacity on display. The scent of smoke filled its senses, and the hot temperature against its fur made Nicole’s jaguar snarl. It was a new kind of danger, but one that would be be unsustainable in the long run. It needed to flee again. The jaguar’s head tilted with curiosity, tail low as its sense of imminent danger declined, because amid the daunting scene, there was Felix’s jaguar. The jaguar let out a small chuff, a greeting for an old friend.

His scent was familiar, even with the burnt foliage around them. The jaguar’s human counterpart cared for them. Her fondness for the other spread warm along its ivory belly. It felt also Nicole’s influence, not yet lulled into dormancy. A fight to get back in control stirring inside, searing hot into its sternum. It wasn’t enough to revert the shift. They had an agreement. 

Feral gaze took on the other jaguar, uncertain despite their familiarity. Nicole was a later bloomer. Never managed a full shift until the fateful night her family was ambushed. The Salazars maintained secrecy regarding their true nature, stifling most of their lineage. She couldn’t recall ever coexisting with the other jaguars in her family out in the open. In hindsight it was all precaution to avoid slaughter. In hindsight, she should’ve fucking asked more questions. Nicole’s jaguar sauntered toward Felix’s without fear of being attacked. Both proud beasts by nature, yet unwilling to harm each other. The zoo was a haven when the world threatened both the human and the beast, but it was missing other balams. It was missing the innate connection between spirits. Kindred despite not sharing the same bloodline. Kindred through a millennia of ancient magic.  

A connection that demanded both remained alive. It demanded the spirit to persevere. Nicole’s jaguar urged the other to run along with it, making it a chase, a playful thing. The jaguar never played with another before. But soon the other beast was roped into the scheme. They ran, past the trees and away from flames, smoke and destruction. Muscles rippling in a blur of dapled colors as they bolted toward safety. 

A creek appeared on their way, and the beast descended toward it. The scent of charred wood barely reached its nostrils anymore. It approached the body of water slowly, vying for the other jaguar’s attention. With the run and the high temperatures, they were parched. Nicole’s jaguar observed, ears pinned back for potential threats lurking, then took the initiative and drank from it. 

—

Woman gave way to beast, and Felix’s jaguar felt some strange relief as it happened. He hadn’t the capacity to recognize his own loneliness in the chaos that befell the farm around him, hadn’t understood the complex emotions swirling within him. He liked to believe that such things were remnants of Felix, the human’s mind still lurking somewhere in the back and causing undue complications. The reality wasn’t quite so simple. The jaguar felt fear, felt doubt, felt anger and loneliness the same way his human host did. 

And he felt comfort, too. It was a quiet thing, not nearly as familiar as the rage, but it was soft and warm and he ached for it. He felt comfort in the presence of another balam, felt better with her here and shifted than he had moments before, when he ran through the woods free and terrified. She approached him, and the warmth that washed over him wasn’t dissimilar to what he’d felt with his siblings as a child. This balam had less experience with shifting than Felix’s jaguar, but it didn’t matter much in the moment. What mattered to the jaguar was that he was no longer alone.

She urged him to run, and he did. He chased her just as he had chased his brother and sisters as a cub, the danger of the burning farm behind them a forgotten thing. The flames couldn’t touch them here, the enemies Felix’s jaguar had torn through a faraway thought. The creek stretched out before them, and he approached it for a much needed drink, calm settling over him as he eased the aching caused by the smoke in his throat.

Felix continued to fight for control from within and, as the adrenaline died down, their jaguar had less and less inclination to fight back. The chaos was far behind, and he was safe with an ally now. The desire to maintain control, to run was still there, but it was a flatter thing now. Another day, perhaps, he’d have clung to it more readily. But right now, he felt tired enough to let it go. The shift was a slow one all the same, a fight from both sides even if the jaguar fought with less passion than he normally might have. Bones snapped into a new form, fur disappeared beneath skin, and Felix took the place of the jaguar once more, terror still gripping their throat.

“Thank you,” they murmured to the other jaguar — to Nicole. They glanced back in the direction of the farm, the smoke still billowing into the sky. The jaguar spirit within them seemed to move around, offering a silent warning against going back.

—

Nicole’s jaguar wouldn’t have known tragedy struck a mile away if it hadn’t run from the danger itself. The creek was the picture of peace and quiet, the stark difference allowing the beast to slowly lower its defenses. Its insistent sniffing ceased, its ears relaxed.  It couldn’t hear the blaring monsters anymore. Only the wind rustling the leaves. An owl, crickets. A croak somewhere distant. It was peace like it hadn’t experienced in a decade. Long before the Zoo. The jaguar turned to observe its companion following, mirroring its action and drinking from the creek. After the smoke and the flames, it was a necessity. 

The other jaguar sensed the lack of threat similarly, and as a result, he looked content to step back and allow the human to come to the surface. Nicole’s jaguar retreated, apprehensive, tail whipping in the air again. A snarl tumbling past sharp teeth. Being in the presence of the human wasn’t what it wanted. It was the other animal who shared its nature. The other jaguar who felt the importance of the spirit. 

And if he turned human—

It was time to relinquish control. As a naked figure appeared on the forest floor, Nicole’s jaguar began its internal battle. The creature deemed it too short of an outing. It needed more time. The agreement was unbalanced, why should the human have the final word? But amber eyes set on them, the human friend —Felix— and it knew it would be a battle hard to win. The sounds Felix made meant nothing to the jaguar, but their tone reached deep. The human within, her presence— her will, it was stronger than before. Pulsing along its ribcage, fighting to free herself with purpose. Was she learning better control? That couldn’t be good for its future. For its survival. The jaguar didn’t let fear show. Too proud for it, and thought it would keep the agreement they reached for the night, the spirit wasn’t pleased. It would demand retribution, at the right time. 

The spirit loosened its hold, but Nicole’s mind, however, struggled to rise to the surface. Escaping from the lifeless void of slumber to settle back into reality she was desperate to cling to. It felt out of reach for moments, a pull tried to drag her back, before she finally seized it. She swam toward conscience. 

Her body fell forward, and she heard the splash before she understood what was happening. She scrambled to stop from diving into the water. Panting, she tried sitting up, absorbing the world around her once more. Eyes widened in terror, darting around, desperately seeking confirmation that time hadn’t jumped. That her last memories — the farm, Felix— were recent. She couldn’t— another leap would end her.    

But Felix was there, by her side, their expression resonating with Nicole. The sky behind them bled orange in the distance. They were by her side— so that meant— The jaguar didn’t cage her for long. Her skin erupted in goosebumps. “Felix—” she rasped, lifting her arm, deciding against the comfort she wished to give her friend. Only to beat herself up for the decision a second later. Indecision paralyzed her movements, but her thoughts swarmed her head. What—How—Why? More importantly, Felix next to her, safe from the fire. “Are you hurt? Why were you in the woods?”

—

Nicole began to shift, the sounds of bones snapping and reforming a familiar one. Felix brought their knees to their chest, wrapping an arm around them and settling into a waiting position. Their throat ached, even after the jaguar’s attempt to soothe it with the water from the stream. Their heart was pounding, even miles away from that billowing smoke. And dread pooled in their stomach, swirling and churning at the thought of what they’d left behind. 

What had the jaguar done to get them out of there? They couldn’t help but wonder. The spirit was fiercely protective, but it never seemed to understand the difference between friends and foes. It clung to violence, doled it out so readily with a rage Felix had never been able to match. The man who’d attacked them was likely dead; the idea of the jaguar letting him live was a far-fetched, impossible thing. But what about Daisy? What about Monty, what about Wynne? What about all the other people who’d been at that party? How much blood was in their mouth? How much visceral would they have to scrub from beneath their nails? 

The panic gripped them, a quiet sob rising from their throat. They tried to push it down, tried not to fall apart, but it was a difficult thing to manage. Something bad had happened, and maybe Felix was a part of it. There was blood in their mouth, and they couldn’t blame it on the Grit Pit or on Leo or on anyone besides themself. They hugged their knees tighter, burying their face against them as the sounds of shuffling beside them became a little more human.

She said their name, and they took a shuddering breath, shaking their head. “I don’t…” Were they hurt? They weren’t sure. Everything always felt so raw after a shift; like every nerve ending was exposed to the world. Adrenaline made it all the more difficult to tell, but they didn’t think it mattered. Their well being wasn’t nearly as important as what the jaguar might have done. “There was — We were at a party. We were at a party. It wasn’t — People came, and — There was a fire, and I don’t — I think —” It was hard to get words to work the way they wanted them to. It was a party. A party. It wasn’t supposed to be like this, wasn’t supposed to end like this. A sob wracked Felix’s frame, rising up and trembling in their shoulders.

—

Felix’s face was coated in blood from the jaguar’s preys. The water stream washed away some of it, but Nicole knew what it was like, to wake up tasting somebody’s blood. To be aware that the beast within sated its hunger by taking a life. The guilt of an act she had no part in eased over the years, perhaps she grew numb to it, but there were remnants. The metallic taste in her mouth as she gained consciousness was one example. Felix grappled with it too. And they tried to get the story out despite their frazzled state. Sympathy pulsed in her chest, the spirit stirring faintly.

“Hey, you’re—” fine, she wanted to say. Okay. But Felix wasn’t fine, they weren’t okay. Their words were fragmented by shock and fear. Sorrow heavy between each breath. Something protected Nicole from locking herself away as Felix recalled the facts, but there was— the familiarity of it left her cold. Felix was at a party too, it was supposed to be safe. Who would think of storming a party? Details were missing, but it was clear Felix watched everything go up in flames, they likely sought their loved desperately, they—

She no longer felt the grass prickling on her knees, nor the gentle splash of the creek near. Her eyes locked far away. Trying to reach the past. She was above her, or— behind, separate from herself, watching, incapable of reacting to Felix’s distress. She was back in Vermont, where the plates crashed against the kitchen floor as the first intruder struck, where her mother’s frenzied screams echoed, gutting Nicole better than a hunter’s knife could, where she didn’t reciprocate her father’s last ‘I love you’, where the blade tore her shoulder blade, where her sister’s grasp slip away despite her best efforts. Where the jaguar stole her youth.

The forest disappeared, it stopped existing. Felix disappeared. She was back in the place where she last left her soul. 

In the aftermath, there was no one. Only the vast wilderness and herself. She never found the clues to uncover what transpired that night. She had no one yet many, too, at the same time. Strangers in a hazy gas station in the middle of nowhere. The old woman who offered a roof and a warm meal. A guy who fixed up a pickup truck for her. The curious kid who talked to her tirelessly, until words were finally comfortable in her tongue again after years exiled from her body and mind. 

A sob came from somewhere— from the backyard—no, next to her. Nicole was dragged back to the present. Felix had someone. But a someone who wasn’t doing fucking shit for them. “I’m here,” she whispered tearfully. It didn’t mean much. It felt empty. A dreadful lie, she was never here. Nicole knew Felix would have been better with somebody else by their side. They’d would’ve preferred it, surely. Someone with a comforting touch and nurturing words and— She wasn't that. Fuck, she was so much less than that. Most days she was nothing. An entity with far less presence than the spirit stirring inside her. Not a day went by when Nicole didn’t wish to be someone else. Someone warmer, wiser, anybody but her. But what else could she do?

If things had been different, if her father didn’t sacrifice himself to give her and her siblings a chance, or if she didn’t let that chance go to waste, if her grip on her sister was stronger as the hunters chased them. If they never came to begin with. Then she would be the big sister who wrangled Yadiel and told him to get his shit together. Would've been the person Nayeli came to share her secrets with. The person who would’ve known how to comfort a friend in need without hesitance.

Perhaps there was still time to be some version of that. Slightly mangled by the past, by the jaguar, by her coping skills. With steep disadvantage, but— She shifted her body, sitting by Felix’s side, shoulder to shoulder. “I’m here,” she repeated, spoken like an apology, because Felix deserved a better somebody. She leaned to touch her temple to theirs, her hand resting on their forearm. It wasn’t much, but it would have to be enough. Felix was terrified, but they weren’t alone. No one deserved to be. 

She let them sob for a moment, forcing herself not to dive into her memories again. There was enough tragedy in front of her. As Felix’s breath slowed down, Nicole had already thought of a few things to say. “What went down over there… will be on the news. We’ll know—you’ll know what happened to your friends soon.” It wasn’t comfort. Casualties would come. Some of which Felix would have a hand on. But answers too would come, and answers would cushion their fall.

—    

Nicole went quiet and, in a better state, Felix might have recognized the faraway look in her eyes. Everyone in this town seemed to have something haunting them, some quiet tragedy that carved empty spaces into their lives. Most people didn’t talk about it. Felix, for their part, mentioned their own past rarely, and only to people they thought they could trust with it. The details of their mother’s death were locked behind their ribcage like a prison cell, separate from the rest of them so that they could grow into something softer than what that event demanded of them. Their father’s attitude — towards them, towards humanity, towards everything — lived beside it like a cellmate, knocking against the bars with every beat of their heart.

Later, they might wonder if what happened at that farm would be stuffed into the same cage. Could they swallow the smoke and flames that had burned their lungs, could they separate themself from the blood in their mouth? Was it a disservice to do so? They didn’t know how to live with the things that must have happened, the things they must have done, but they weren’t sure it was fair to ignore them, either. What did you owe to the people you’d hurt when you were not yourself? What did Felix owe to whoever’s blood was on their tongue, or to the fighters in the Grit Pit who probably saw a jaguar in their nightmare? Did he owe it to all of them to remember, to let it suffocate him? Or… was it better to move on, to grow from it? 

There didn’t seem to be a good answer. Nor was there an answer to the question of what they now owed to Nicole for finding them, for bringing them back to themself. They might have been better off in their shifted form, without the pressing weight on their chest or the way their lungs couldn’t seem to draw a full breath, but they were glad to be themself in spite of it. The jaguar was stronger, was faster, was better at both eliminating danger and living with the consequences of it, but Felix wanted to be Felix. More than anything in the world, Felix wanted only to be allowed to be themself the way they couldn’t in their father’s house, the way they couldn’t in the Grit Pit. Maybe this heaving, sobbing thing in the woods was the closest they’d come to it in a long time. Maybe there was nothing good about being who you were when who you were was this. 

“I hurt people,” they gasped quietly, trembling with fear or with grief or with both. (Weren’t the two always interchangeable?) “I think I hurt people.” They leaned into her, feeling guilty for the selfishness of it. This wasn’t her weight to carry, but it was too heavy for Felix to lift on their own. And she was here. She was here, and they were afraid enough to allow themself to believe that that was a good thing, that they deserved to have someone here even with blood on their tongue and a fire raging close enough to smell. 

It would be on the news, she told them. They’d know what happened soon. And Felix wondered, with a desperate gulp, if they wanted to. They thought of all the things they might have been better off not knowing, all the questions they didn’t ask after a shift at the Grit Pit because sometimes, ignorance was the closest thing to bliss that they could manage. Soon, they’d have more answers. It felt more like a gallows they were marching towards than any kind of salvation.

“I’m sorry,” they said quietly, unsure if they were apologizing for whatever had happened at the farm or for leaning on her or for making her carry the weight with them or for all of it. For everything, maybe; for what they were, for what they did with it, for the way they knew she understood the feeling. “I’m sorry. I think — I think we should go. I think we should run. I don’t think we should be here anymore.”

—

Her hand barely grazed Felix’s arm, yet it was all Nicole could pay attention to. All her brain decided she needed to focus on. The gesture was uncomfortable, alien for her in spite of how much she was growing to care for Felix. She wasn’t used to it anymore, the jaguar ripped it from her year by year in the wilderness, then in the zoo. Though she didn’t want to take it back either. That felt plain wrong. She had to settle for the all-encompassing anxiety,  remaining still right where Felix needed her. What would it be like, not to question every action, every word, every feeling? She would’ve liked to comfort Felix in a manner that mattered. A manner that helped. Make sure they were supported through it, but it was too big a weight to pick up. 

Felix admitted to hurting people, rather, they believed it happened. Nicole didn’t flinch. She already assumed something along those lines must’ve occurred. When the jaguar was at large, lives were always at risk. They carried a natural predator within, they carried a monster capable of destruction. “Okay—” she replied, awkwardly. Didn’t everybody hurt others? Intentionally or unintentionally. Didn’t she have jaguar kills to answer for as well? She didn’t know if sinking into her own self-hatred would do them any good. She never thought she would be one to defend what they were, when for the longest time she would’ve loved to be rid of the spirit. “I have too. The jaguar— It…it hurts people. Has to. Needs it to survive,” the beast didn’t see it like that, Nicole mused. The jaguar killed and feasted on its prey till its belly was full and there wasn’t rationale in the act. It was the way of nature. And— it was expected of them to understand how important it was for the jaguar to survive. How blessed they were, chosen to carry such a unique spirit. 

Sitting on the grass, one of them sobbing in uncertainty and fear, the other too stunted to comfort them, Nicole was affronted by all the tales she grew up hearing about. They were not special. Only two unlucky people, there was nothing to be proud of. 

Felix didn’t look relieved to hear answers would soon come, and she cursed herself mentally for what she said. They didn’t need the logical answer, they needed—  Perhaps it would be better for both of them if Nicole didn’t speak again. The air was too heavy with grief for her words to cut through it. Felix continued to sob, a trail of tears dampening her hair. All she did was stay there, as promised. Until the apology made her pull away, confusion etched on her features. What were they sorry for? She didn’t have to understand, she only had to listen to their voice, feel the emotion. It used to be so much easier before she was stripped form her humanity. She nodded curtly, accepting their words.

 A shiver ran down her spine as Felix suggested they go. They meant the forest, of course, she was conscious, but she would be lying if Felix wasn’t voicing a desire she felt during her darkest days. And some days after too, when the rays of sun began warming up her skin again. Wasn’t her only talent to run? Why did she stop? “That’s smart,” she rasped, giving Felix another small nod of encouragement. “Fire’s unpredictable,” and they were far from where it ignited, but flames jumped and the wind could twist its path. The forest wasn't as safe for them as she would like it to be. 

Nicole kneeled, gaze sweeping their surroundings. Though the creek offered a much needed stop, they were supposed to face the world again. She rose from the ground, extending her hand for Felix. “Truck should still be— somewhere,” fuck, she was quite proficient at tracking but without knowing the jaguar’s route— “Won’t risk it, though,” if they couldn’t find it, they would— fuck they were naked. Couldn’t ask for a ride. They… the way home would be by foot. Felix could borrow some of her clothes.

—

She’d hurt people, too. Most of their friends had, hadn’t they? Monty, Anita, Wyatt, Teagan… It was so much easier to forgive their crimes than it was for Felix to absolve himself of his own. Lockjaw killed Razor, and Felix told Wyatt that it wasn’t his fault, that the Pit was the one to blame. Monty spoke of his dark past, and Felix assured him that because he was different now, because he was apologetic, none of it mattered. Samir used to talk about how he hurt people during his shifts, and Felix would remind him that the wolf wasn’t him, that there was a difference between himself and the animal inside of him. Teagan bloodied her hands, and Felix helped her clean them with quiet reassurances. Anita felt no remorse for what she did, and Felix thought she must have been right for it.

Those same certainties were absent when they looked inward. They hurt people in the Grit Pit, but the grace they offered Wyatt felt wrong when they tried to apply it to themself because they should have known better, because they signed up for the Pit knowing what it was and were so blinded by their love for Leo that they hadn’t let it stop them. They were sorry for the terrible things they’d done in their past, but sorry didn’t seem like a strong enough word when it fell from their lips. The jaguar wasn’t Felix, but they took the fall for his crimes all the same, wrapped them around their own throat like a noose waiting to tighten and begged the world to hang them for what the beast had done. Their hands were red and stayed red, no matter how they scrubbed beneath their nails. They’d never once felt they were right for the people they’d hurt, even if some of them might have deserved hurting.

Even now, they wanted to push their feelings aside and reassure Nicole, tell her it was okay that she had hurt people despite not believing the same of themself. The jaguar needed to hurt people to survive, but it felt more true of Nicole than it did of Felix. It felt wrong to try and pretend that the things he’d done needed doing. It felt irredeemable to make excuses when they had no idea whose blood was on their tongue. 

So they said nothing at all. They curled in on themself a little tighter, they registered the quiet aches of injuries they hadn’t yet had time to catalog. There was so much blood sticking to their skin; what did it matter if some of it was their own? Wouldn’t it have been better if all of it was? They wished they were still on the farm, and they wished they were anywhere else in the world. Guilt and grief, when it was this heavy, was always a mess of contradiction. 

Nicole spoke of the fire and its unpredictability; Felix had almost forgotten that anything was burning at all. It wasn’t the fire they wanted to flee, but what was inside of it. They couldn’t run from it forever, they knew; sooner or later, whatever had happened during the jaguar’s run would become clearer than they wanted it to be. Sooner or later, they’d know exactly whose blood they tasted on their tongue. And they couldn’t unknow it once it was clear, couldn’t unburn the barn. That had always been the problem, hadn’t it? 

They shifted their position, straightening themself out and swallowing tightly. Even after the water from the stream, everything tasted like blood. Felix thought it probably would for a very long time. “We can walk,” they said quietly, forcing themself painfully to their feet. “I’m okay to walk. I — It would be better, I think.” After all, when they were finished here, all that was waiting for them was the boiler room at the Grit Pit, where they’d be as alone as they’d ever been. Maybe they could be with Nicole for a little while, but not for long. They wouldn’t be permitted to be away from the Pit for long. But… glancing towards the still rising smoke, Felix thought that this might be exactly what they deserved. 

“Come on,” they said quietly, offering Nicole a hand to help her to her feet. The movement pulled at something that the still-raging adrenaline kept them from feeling in its entirety; they figured that was for the best, too. “Let’s — Let’s get out of here. Please.”

[mrchaosman]

Subject 10

Subject 10 (stylized as SUBJECT_10) is another show idea by the man behind both ClothWorld and Holidayners.

Subject 10 is loosely inspired by body horror movies, video games, and novels.

It follows Emily and her journey to find her mother in a human trail organisation, and have to fight her way.

While ClothWorld and Holidayners have comedic aspects and tones, Subject 10 is more of a horror thriller and sci-fi story about the aftermath of what a human could do with the immoral power of science.

The show takes place after WW2 and follows Emily, a little girl who has been looking for her mother over weeks.

She found out that her mother was kidnapped by Dolphin Co, an inhumane organisation that has twisted intentions for all the planet and all the countries.

Dolphin Co has "fallen" after a failed fetal experiment on the titular "Subject 10" and the organisation building is all in Ruins, and the experiments are roaming through the building purposeless.

Will Emily do the impossible and save her mother? Who would know.

The cast:

Some characters are loosely based/inspired by mostly fiction stories and/or real events.

(note: this is still unfinished, it'll be updated to include more characters and/or more stuff about Subject 10)

Emily Thomas.

A 12 Year old girl, Emily is the main protagonist to Subject 10.

Emily remains mostly silent and barely talks, but aside from this, she shows a very sweet, caring, and very brave attitude.

She also shows a huge determination for her wish to unite with her mother again.

Mark (aka The Carcass) is a support character and first appeared in the second episode "The Carcass"

He was a unwilling test subject to Dolphin Co to create what they described as the "undead super solider".

Mark, despite being undead, doesn't go to the zombie category.

Mark is inspired by George A. Romero's Dead series as well as Resident Evil.

Tiphy (aka Test #2)

Is a deuteragonist to Subject 10.

It first appeared in episode "The Carcass"

An unknown creature, Tiphy, is playful, silly, and a bit goofy.

It shows a very loyal towards Emily and it try it best to protect her.

Tiphy is inspired by John Carpenter's The Thing.

Nicole Harson (aka Overseer) is a support character in Subject 10.

She first appeared in "My Mechanical Heart"

Nicole, a teacher and a nanny, shows an absolute motherly side towards Emily.

She has a harsh relationship with Mark, implied that they knew each other for long time.

The Subjects.

The subjects are modified humans with either animalistic features and/or behaviour.

The trusted subjects, like the three-headed woman and APPLE, can provide a lot of help, while untrusted subjects, like Manped, HUMANSTAR and Hunter will not waste any minute to kill.

Ieye (aka Subject 4) is the main antagonist to episode "EyeSpy"

A six-eyed monster, iEye is crashing, bloodthirsty, monster with no sign of having a personality.

IEye has a hive-mind-type ideology and it talks with various sounds in the same time.

IEye is meant be the "absolute security guard" ever

Manpede (aka Subject 2) is the main antagonist to episode "100% Rotten"

He was a worker in Dolphin Co that was forced to be merged into what they described as the "ultimate human"

Manpede is basically focusing on food, whether it's normal or a subject.

He has a speed and superhuman strength.

HUMANSTAR (Aka Subject 9)

Is the main antagonist to the episode "Wish Upon A Star"

He is a malignant and malicious entity with no set purpose.

He is known by his "ear-bleeding" scream, which can cause a lot of mental illnesses and discomfort.

When he talks, his voice echoes around the room.

The Three-headed Woman (aka Subject 6)

Is a major character in Episode "Three better than Nothing"

Melody, Carry and Jane, a three sisters been kidnapped and fused together by Dolphin Co.

They show a caring side towards Emily and wants her to be safe.

Jane always says, "Eat flies, Mark" to mark.

The Hunter (aka Subject 3) is the main antagonist to episode "Living Dinner".

A monstrous being with a huge hunger for human flesh, Hunter attacks any and everything without thinking.

It is implied that Hunter is mostly Blind, and relays on sniffing and hearing senses to see.

That's all, for now.

Like I said, I'll update it and to include more characters and other stuff.

See ya

[pvccblog]

JUST GETTING STARTED

Another wonderful day in Oregon!  Our day started off with the breakfast of champions - spam and eggs!!

The wind seems to have shifted a bit and the wildfire smoke was pretty heavy today.  It didn't stop the campers from having an excellent time at sports camp! It was interesting though, they were complaining about the heat today.  To us, the weather was perfect!!  Around here, if the temperature hovers near 80 degrees it is too hot.  Quite different from the destinations we usually travel to for these trips!  We are used to triple digits so this weather is quite pleasant for our team.  

Axel taught the lesson today and it was about Jesus healing the paralyzed man.  The kids seemed pretty engaged.  We are praying that the lessons will sink in and that the kids will remember them and be able to apply them to their lives.  We are also praying for any of them who do not know Jesus - that they would come to know him in a real and personal way!  

At BARF Night, we played a new game.  Pastor Fred's son Josiah had a birthday today and he wanted play wiffle Ball tonight.  We ended up playing "Extreme Ultimate Wiffle Ball" and it was a blast.  It seemed to be just as fun for those watching us play, they were quite entertained. 

We also played Rabbit Sticks and it was a very tiring, competitive, even match.  Axel ended up winning for his team with a dive across the line that left him bruised, cut, and with dirt all over himself.  Keep in mind that this was after he slid into home plate during the wiffle ball game and blood was drawn.  He's a beast!

Martina is such a great young woman of God.  She shared her testimony tonight and it had an impact.  Her story resonated with many in the crowd.  Even the parents came over to hear her share and they were very impressed that someone her age would be so brave to share in front of a crowd like this.  Nicole and I are certainly proud of her, but we are not surprised.  Martina has come on our Intergenerational Mission Venture for years and has even shared her testimony on that trip.  Way to go Nina! 

After BARF Night, we went over to Pastor Andrew's house.  He is the pastor of the Baptist church I mentioned previously.  He and his wife Tonya served us ice cream and we played games and hung out with their family and David's family and a couple of the local teens.  It is pretty cool to see them invest in their community.  David and his wife actually grew up in Glendale and have been serving in local youth ministry pretty much since they graduated from the local high school.  It's been over 20 years!!! Praise the Lord for their long term commitment!  

I also want to share how pleased I am with the unity of our team.  We have never combined with another mission team and it's pretty amazing how they have merged together so well.  Part of it is that some of our students grew up with Phin for a few years while he lived in Pine Valley, but I think it is also a testament to their upbringing and their relationship with Jesus and their desire to serve him and share the gospel with others.  This is the smallest team we've ever had at PVCC, and some of our biggest years our teams had over 20 students.  I am noticing this year that a small team that is so "locked in" can have incredible impact in a place like this.  We are praising God that He knew who would be here this week and that he is using us to accomplish His mission!  

Please continue to pray.  We know that you are because God is working!  There were a few great conversations at BARF Night with some teens and we are hoping this continues to develop.  Tonight at Family Time we talked about how we can take longer breaks between games to allow for more opportunities to chat with people.  I am not going to share a lot of details about these conversations but please know that they are happening!      

We are looking forward to another great Wednesday!  If you haven't already, scroll back and check out our video from our rafting trip on Sunday!  Thanks everyone!

[danielforshort]

Northern VA Native Plant Garden

Wow oh my goodness life turned upside down and inside out and overall not great! But in an effort to practice things that would help my mental health I started fussing around in my garden. The new house I'm in has a front yard and a backyard. I've decided to devote most of my attention to the backyard. I spend a lot of time scrolling through Facebook Marketplace and my various FB groups looking for free gardening materials. I'm not really planning on staying in the house past the year (though I'd like to be done moving honestly) so i don't want to invest too much money in the garden. But time and energy are fine to spend; I'm enjoying playing in the dirt so I get an immediate return of "childlike joy at playing in dirt" and a possible future return of "oh I grew stuff!"

My goal is to have an ornamental side of the garden and a raised garden bed for things I plan on eating. Currently i have a ton of yellow bell pepper seedlings (I started them a bit late in the season but it's been unseasonably warm these past few falls and mild winters) and 14 tomato plants! I do not like tomatoes but I do like to grow things and they're so easy.

I'm planning on making my raised bed out of some bricks/pavers/garden stones someone gave me. It doesn't need to be huge or pretty or super stable, just a bit of a container for me to drop some plants in. Someone was also giving away plant soil which was great.

With all the weeds I've pulled up I'm hoping to fake/badly compost them. I'm too impatient to wait the months and months I need for them to properly break down. I've stuck them all in a black garbage bin to hope the 100 degree days will kill off their seeds so I can crumble them up in the bottom of my raised garden bed.

For the ornamental side of things I'm focusing on native Virginia plants! There's a great FB group dedicate to native VA plants and people are always giving away or swapping plants! A very generous woman gave me a ton of plants that I'll detail about later in this post!

First I'd like to document the weeds I pulled! I had so much fun weeding actually. It's a repetitive task I enjoy and I like to identify plants even if they are weeds. I used Google Lens for IDing most of them and it actually seemed fairly good at that. Without further ado a list of the different weeds I saw in my garden during 2+ hours of work :D

Note: None of these photos were taken by me! I was too focused on weeding to take good photos of anything.

Weeds

Erigeron Canadensis (Horseweed)

This one was fun to pull! It came up easily and hadn't flowered or gone to seed at all! I think Alexis Nicole has talked about this one before? I wish it had been growing in a part of my garden that didn't need to be weeded right that moment so I could have eaten some. Apparently "dried leaves can be used as a seasoning with a flavor similar to tarragon" (source: eat the weeds) I'm sure I'll find it again maybe in my front yard and I'll try to save some.

Oxalis Acetosella (Wood Sorrel)

God this one HURT to pull, emotionally speaking! I love wood sorrel so much and its one of those plants I can ID easily. Some of my brave friends will eat it when I offer it but most pass. Unfortunately it was right in the area I needed pulled up for my raised bed. I am hoping I can encourage it to grow in my ornamental side! Alexis Nicole has definitely talked about this one before. It had shallow roots and was easy to pull :)

Matricaria Chamomilla (German Chamomile)

Another one I did not want to pull up but had to! It had pretty shallow roots that came up easily. I actually collected all the ones I weeded and popped them in some water. I hope to replay in my ornamental side of things. Fingers crossed they've survived this shock. I have a couple packs of really old seeds so I've started some chamomile from seed. I don't know that it'll work. I think I have some growing in my front yard so I might try to transplant that.

Lactuca Serriola (Prickly Lettuce)

This plant was my second least favourite to weed. Its roots are strong and run deep. The prickles bit me through my gloves. It was satisfying when I got a good grip and pulled it all up but more often than not I heard the roots snap leaving good chunks under ground. It sucked. A lot of them were super big and tall. I know its edible but didn't save any to forage. I'm sure it will be back.

Solanum Carolinense (Carolina Horsenettle)

This plant is my mortal enemy. It bites you. Its stubborn. Its totally toxic. I hate it. This was the most predominant weed in the garden. It was tall and if I tried to reach around to grab a different weed it would scratch me.

Verbascum Thapsus (Common Mullein)

Lord this plant was a stubborn one. The roots were strong and deep but it was so satisfying when I got it out. I actually couldn't remember this one's name when I sat down to write this so I used the Virginia Tech website (link here) to ID it! It's a great website that lets you select features of a plant and offers ones that fit those criteria.

I had a lot of fun weeding and IDing these plants! I'll have another post up about the native VA plants I'm cultivating. I hope whoever reads this enjoys the post. If its just me I hope I find this useful as I start a garden art journal where I can draw and take notes on all these plants.

[notafunkiller]

Imagine calling Nicole Kidman a coward. NICOLE KIDMAN. This woman was brave enough to escape Scientology and then went on a decades long campaign to end violence against women. But a Bucky stan tweeting from her basement calls her a coward because she chose to amplify Zendaya's voice over Sebastian's. Kidman has been championing women's and children's rights since before these people were born! She can choose Zendaya over Sebastian if she wants, she has earned that right.

It's her right either way but yes, she's really brave. She's done so much!

[byneddiedingo]

Françoise Fabian in My Night at Maud's (Éric Rohmer, 1969)

Cast: Jean-Louis Trintignant, Françoise Fabian, Marie-Christine Barrault, Antoine Vitez, Léonid Kogan, Guy Léger, Anne Dubot. Screenplay: Éric Rohmer. Cinematography: Néstor Almendros. Production design: Nicole Rachline. Film editing: Cécile Decugis.

A moral tale: Once upon a time, a brave and chaste knight saw a fair young lady in church, and wished that she were his. The devil, hearing this, arranged for the knight to be tempted by a beautiful sorceress. But when the knight resisted the carnal temptations of the sorceress, he was rewarded with the love and the hand of the fair young lady. Éric Rohmer's moral tale: Jean-Louis (Jean-Louis Trintignant), an engineer who has recently moved to Clermont-Ferrand, is an intellectual Catholic, determined at the age of 34 to settle down and get married after several failed love affairs. At mass one day he sees a beautiful young woman (Marie-Christine Barrault), and longs to get to know her. Leaving the church, he sees the woman get on a moped, and he follows her in his car until they are separated by traffic. Jean-Louis runs into an old friend, Vidal (Antoine Vitez), a philosophy professor and a Marxist, who takes him to see his friend, Maud (Françoise Fabian), a divorcee. Vidal gets drunk and leaves early, and when it begins to snow heavily, Jean-Louis stays to spend the night with Maud. But they do little more than talk -- about his Catholicism, about the philosophy of Pascal, about his life and hers. She and her husband were unfaithful to each other, and her lover was killed when his car skidded on the ice -- one reason she forbids Jean-Louis to drive in the snow. They literally sleep together: She in the nude, he fully clothed and wrapped in a coverlet she lends him, though both are in the same bed. In the morning he makes a pass at her that she brushes off, and as he looks out the window he sees the young woman he saw at mass, and runs out to introduce himself to her. Her name is Françoise, and she is a student at the university where Vidal teaches. They make a date for later in the day, and afterward he drives her home to her student apartment. Stuck in the snow again, he spends the night, but not in her room: She gives him a key to the apartment of another student who is away. Five years later, they are married and taking their young son to the beach, when they meet Maud on the path. Jean-Louis realizes from Françoise's reaction that she knows Maud -- in fact, Françoise, who has confessed that she had an affair with a married man, may have been the lover of Maud's husband. This is the third of Rohmer's "Six Moral Tales," and perhaps the most successful: It was nominated for Oscars for Rohmer's screenplay and as the best foreign-language film. But a lot of critics and viewers found it insufferably talky in that peculiarly French over-intellectualized way -- a curious objection to a film that features four attractive actors and a strong emphasis on sex. And the talk is far wittier than anything you're likely to hear in a movie today.

[narrie]

nicole's boyfriend didn't delete his Instagram he just changed his name 😭 and he literally commented on her latest post just this morning 😐 plus i think her, her sister and that other blonde woman had been invited by madi diaz since they are all friends 👀

well then he's truly brave

[creativemorningsmilwaukee]

💌 Love letter recap from our PARALLEL event!

Illustration by Caroline Ferrero @carolineartsy17

On the third Friday of March, one hundred fifteen creatives gathered at Relics Rentals for another morning of magic. Located in an unassuming warehouse in Walkers Point, Relics Rentals is a comprehensive design resource & rental company specializing in creative direction, rental solutions, custom fabrication, product sourcing, and staging for events and interiors. Hire them for weddings, galas, parties, brand activations, home staging, holiday staging—you name it! 

📢 Special shout out to Renee, Shaquita, Bob, Kelly, & Jan for your hands-on partnership on & leading up to the event. Thank you for your hospitality!

We took in the rows upon rows of stellar vintage finds and settled in with good company, Discourse Coffee (thank you Ryan!), and Cranky Als sprinkle donuts. 

And then... Erilei took the stage. 🌠

With a voice like honey, Erilei sang her self-produced song Don't Like Me, reminding us that we're not alone when we find ourselves in the hellscape that is facing our worst inner bully.

Performance Artist: ERILEI

Like a salve, hearing the CreativeMornings Manifesto read back to you heals. Thank you, Monica Thomas, for braving the stage and soothing our hearts with these words!

🪄 If you would like to read the Manifesto at our next event, please email us at milwaukee@creativemornings.com

Portrait by Linda Smallpage. Quotes captured by Murphy Fraser.

Keynote Speaker: Tonda Thompson

Our esteemed speaker coach, Alea Cross, introduced Tonda. (Parts of this introduction have been redacted. Only those who were present were gifted the full, humorous introduction. 🤭)"I have a metaphor for you... she is the rose that grew from concrete in 53206. 

I have some truth for you... it's not the doing but the being that makes Tonda who she is... 

Her accolades and single story proceed her; however, that's not what we are here to learn. She's chapters expressed in one great and wonderful book. 

A woman learning what a healed story blooms; I introduce one of the most beautiful women I've grown to love, admire, and root for. 

Let's give a standing ovation for Tonda Thompson."

🎬 Filmed & edited by Precious "Jae" Burrell from Epic Media

Visit sheslangswood.com to shop products, sign up for carpentry workshops, book a "board and sip" night class, or schedule a consultation to learn about the many services offered! She Slangs Wood can be hired to build fences, cutting boards, sheds, garden beds, furniture, and so much more. 

Tonda invited all of us to visit her at her self-made shop at 128 E Burleigh St. Email Tonda at info@sheslangswood.com or book online to set up an appointment. 

Thank you, Tonda, for being authentically YOU and sharing your truth with us. What a gift it is to receive your greatness. 

CreativeMornings is about shining the light on our communities. One way we do this is via 30 Second Pitches. This is where we invite a few people to the stage and share a pitch. Our 30 Second Pitch Nomination Form is always open! Feel free to self-nominate :)

Queer Prom: A Night to Celebrate Queer Joy and Trans Existence

Saz's Hospitality Group presents Queer Prom, a fun-filled evening on May 3 from 7:30pm-12am to celebrate Milwaukee's queer community and the richness of the Walker's Point neighborhood (838 S 2nd St.). A portion of proceeds will benefit the Milwaukee Trans and Queer Depot.

Cassie Caminiti shared some fun details for the event, which will feature a prom royalty contest, drag performances, queer resource tabling, and a VIP package with open bar and small bites. Enjoy colorful vibes, curated sounds, and photobooth from our partner Milwaukee Airwaves. Cap the night off with Saz's festival faves for all attendees and join us afterwards at La Cage for waived cover and your first drink free with your event wristband. 

Tickets are on sale now! Follow @sazshospitalitygroup and @mketranshealth for event announcements. 

One MKE

Nicole Shaver shared the good news from One MKE, a nonpartisan coalition led by the Milwaukee Public Library, Cities Forward and NEWaukee, along with over 50 Milwaukee community partners.

One MKE provides easy, transparent information to:

Access local, state and federal services to save you money and improve your wellbeing

Attend events to meet other residents and get involved in your community

Learn about nonpartisan voter resources

One MKE envisions a future in which every City of Milwaukee resident (regardless of age, race, gender, or political affiliation) understands how active civic engagement can enrich our lives and communities. Follow along on IG: @weareonemke. 

minglespace

Our friend Michael Kirsh dreamed up the concept minglespace, which partners with businesses and organizations to create designated areas where people are encouraged to introduce themselves and strike up a conversation.

minglespaces are engaging spaces for anyone seeking a spontaneous connection, whether they’re alone, new to the city, traveling, or in a group.  They are adaptable for various settings and audiences, from coffee shops and breweries to universities, parks, and festivals. They feature conversation prompts linked to signage, making it easy for people to connect in fun and meaningful ways. Each minglespace sparks conversations and shared experiences, helping transform public places into more vibrant and inviting spaces. 

Join us in bringing people together to create meaningful connections: www.minglespace.com/create.

Eucalyptus & Co. Eucalyptus & Company is located in Riverwest, right next to Seven Swans Creperie. Danielle Burrows offers a variety of art workshops including Pottery and Stained Glass for all ages and experience levels. Eucalyptus & Co. is a collaborative teaching space and is always looking for other artists to teach their medium. Some past events include Redacted Poetry with Gina Cornejo, Block Printing with Bailey Danz, Puppy Yoga with Thrifted Kittens Rescue, and Collage Club with Allison Smith. 

The space is also used as a floral studio, specializing in wedding and event flowers. Interested in teaching your medium in the space? Email eucalyptus.co4424@gmail.com, follow @eucalyptus__co on Instagram, or visit Danielle’s website for more information. 

Independence First Independence First is the resource for people with disabilities in the greater Milwaukee area, offering over 40 programs and services across all age groups. Amelinda Burich and Lorna Barthel shared how this local nonprofit supports individuals and families to live successfully in our community, from independent living skills and disability awareness to recreation and assistive technology. 

Programming includes art and cooking classes, peer support, and adaptive gaming, with more than 50% of staff, managers, and Board having disabilities themselves—ensuring a strong peer-driven approach. Independence First also provide benefits counseling, personal care support, and advocacy for inclusivity, helping people live independently in their own homes rather than institutions. 

Check out @independencefirst on Instagram to learn more. 

Event day photos by Holly Schisler. Lots more love in our Flickr gallery.

[chorusfm]

Katerina Nicole

I’d like to introduce everyone to ambient rock artist, Katerina Nicole, whose debut EP, Serene In Violent Oceans, is a solid mix of heavy styles similar to Spiritbox, paired with the songwriting sensibilities of Charlotte Sands, all with a style all of her own. I asked Katerina about her great new single called “Emotionally,” the meaning behind the EP title, and what she hopes fans will take away from listening to her dynamic music. If you’re enjoying the new single, please consider streaming her EP here. Thanks for your time today, Katerina! Can you walk me through the writing process on your incredible new single, called “Emotionally”? Thank you so much for showcasing “Emotionally”. “And I’ve been down real low” was the first words that Jordan Chase was humming to himself as he sonically created the pre-chorus. I was thinking of a theme prior to starting the track and it was about being in the thick of it so to speak. I was dealing with some demons for quite some time and when we got in the studio I wanted to write about getting out of that thickness and seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. And so I wrote “I’m cutting my way through this”. It was one heck of an emotional journey writing this song and that is why it means so much to me. I absolutely love the title of your EP, Serene in Violent Oceans. Where did this originate from, and how do feel the songs on the record reflect this title?  Thank you! I guess I’ve always felt that I am a bit of a melancholy person. I’ve experienced emotional pain from a young age and as a young woman. It has been something that has followed me around since. It was important for me to self-reflect and evaluate it all. I had to bring up a lot of dark things and allow them to see light and that’s really what I tried to do within the songs. It allowed me to be as vulnerable and cathartic as I could be with my vocals. They all have dire, curious, and brave moments to them. Serene in Violent Oceans serves as a reminder that no matter if you’re drowning you can begin again and you can be at peace no matter the chaos surrounding you.  What do you hope music fans will take away from listening to not only the new single, but also the full EP? I truly believe in creating a full body of work when a single is simply not enough to tell the whole story. I would love for my fans to give it a listen from track one to five in the way it’s meant to be. Serene in Violent Oceans is a turbulent and breathtaking journey of self-reflection. --- Please consider becoming a member so we can keep bringing you stories like this one. ◎ https://chorus.fm/features/interviews/katerina-nicole/

[girl4music]

The whole secret wife thing - Shae. Married in Vegas.

You wouldn’t think Nicole would be the type of person to get married on a whim. But then you also wouldn’t think Nicole would be the type of person to go to a festival on her own somewhere she doesn’t even know at 6 years old. She’s obviously had a hard life and has been shaped by it. Woman’s got layers and I’m so glad Andras and the ‘Wynonna Earp’ crew wanted to make the audience aware of this even if they couldn’t fully showcase it. It reflects on the type of person she becomes. And that that person is a hero is inspiring.

Katherine Barrell originally wanted Nicole’s backstory with her parents to be one full of love and support. She didn’t want there to be an estrangement over Nicole’s sexuality or choice of profession/career. But I really do think it works that they made it this way for her characterization backstory because her character just seems all the more powerful and stronger for it.

And believe me - I am the last person to believe in the adage of “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”. But it’s different with Nicole Haught because of the way it’s written. Andras was really careful and conscientious about the way she represented and developed the character and given Nicole’s endgame, I really do think it makes sense that they went this way. That despite what awful past Nicole might have had, she still ended up with the heroes and the law.

Because she could have just as easily gone the other way with no real guidance in her life before Purgatory.

Before Shae. Before Nedley. Before Waverly.

I think that really says something about Nicole’s character. How tenacious she is when she has support. But also how brave she is when she doesn’t.

I just really love how they decided to make her more than just a main character’s love interest. In fact - in some ways - you could even say she’s more important than Waverly or Wynonna to the story of the show because she does ALL OF THIS as a 100% human.

And it’s like what they’re saying with her character is that you can do heroic endeavours and be successful at them without being supernatural or a superhero.

And that matters - you know?

A story like that matters.

A character like that matters.

I just really love Nicole and all that they did with her. Because it really does take a certain kind of bravery when you have so much to lose and when you almost do to still stand up and do the good and right thing.