#nick is kind of a bootlicker

[dorizardthewizard]

Ninjago Crystalized E22 - E30 thoughts

forgot this was in my drafts

EP 22

ronin is a legend. he got done so dirty like... he had such a good arc in s5 only for the writers to revert him to a generic thief. and the ninja were just chill with getting him locked up in ninjago’s prison for the worst criminals?? what the hell guys. add onto this how corrupt/ incompetent the leadership and justice systems in ninjago seem and... phew, that’s some bootlicking from our favourite little legos /hj

nya knowing stuff about plants is so cute. let them have more interests outside of ninja-ing!

the production value on these fights really is good

oh wow master wu could really use an elemental dragon right about now!

"i fished out the last one" LOL

doing it again in the same canal LMAO thats an L having to give wu mouth to mouth. also not sure that’s what you should do with someone who still has water in their lungs

EP 23

aww cute jaya moments

nya has her powers back! wow i sure enjoyed her well developed arc that was so worth them bringing her back!! /s

aww i love these kids having their own little counterattack. kiddos aren’t your families looking for you?

love how antonia went from wanting to quit to being adamant they should fight back

"i am not about to lead a bunch of children against the embodiment of evil and darkness!" soooo like every other season? "that never stopped you before!" TOOK THE WORDS RIGHT OUTTA MY MOUTH LOL DRAG HIM

kind of surprising just how many times wu wants to quit and others have to remind him that ninja never quit, my brother in fsm you taught them that

btw this should have been the s10 ending just oni instead of the overlord. still mad about how rushed that season was.

EP 24

honestly idc about lloyd’s whole angst with his dad, they act like sensei garmadon never existed. evil garmadon hasn’t even been around long enough for lloyd to be super disappointed in him on a personal level like that. why can’t he instead be angry at this garm because he’s not the father he remembers and only serves as a walking reminder that he’ll never see sensei garmadon again.

dragon form let’s goooo

side note i miss lloyd saying dregon

omg the ice emperor are we actually talking about this

oh we're just gonna brush over it and make it a joke. got it.

RONIN MVPPP

borg tower yet againnnn also this guy was so focused on his projects he didn’t realise the apocalypse was happening? i love him

pixal: ronin why are you helping us?

WOW WE REALLY JUST IGNORED SEASON 5 HUH JUSTICE FOR RONIN

EP 25

few notes here bc i was too busy staring at the lava

the way he softly calls coles name when he wakes up ToT

kai fighting by himself to protect cole dsfgsd lowkey wish that fight had been extended for the wump but also so skylor can come just in the nick of time

i like the implication that skylor doesnt keep those powers forever, she has to touch an elemental master again to “recharge” so to speak. makes her much less op so that’s cool.

wu broadcasting on all frequencies but wouldn’t the bad guys hear him too?

that transition from the ninja running over the manhole to lloyd and garmadon being in the sewers is super cool. i love cinema.

lloyd's argument with garmadon gives the implication he's mad at him for never being a good father but THATS A MOVIE PLOT NOT THE SERIES ARRRRGHH

what could’ve been cool if instead they made lloyd not want to embrace his oni side bc he's scared of the anger and resentment building up in him over all these years of being the green ninja. y’know like the fandom keeps harping on about but is never actually portrayed in the show.

one thing i like about these new seasons is the clear motifs and musical character themes. paper delivery professionals for the win.

the paper kids wearing home made outfits with pots on their heads gives me such codename kids next d00r vibes

actually i like these post apocalyptic vibes, with everyone trying to look for each other and hiding but rallying secretly.

aww that happy moment with the family then kai and skylor hhhhngngng if only they delved more into skylor and her childhood crying

EP 26

omg kai finally having his speech skills back!!!

weeeeell kinda. actually it's effective lol he's so cute with kids.

had to pause this skylor and kai moment bc im dying from cringe. also lmao all these seasons and they weren't really together? oh he hasn't even spoken to her all this time?? skylor was at nya's funeral i swear ToT

here's an F for the lava fans. it was a pleasure shipping with you o7

zane is broken yet agaaaaim

if jay and the others could figure out the hint about the newspapers then surely the bad guys could

RACER 7 I MISSED YOUUUUUUUU

also she's basically antonia lmao could they not have thought of a different design

"that paycheck of yours? kiss it goodbye"

I LOVE HER

stop fakeout deathing me with zane lmao we've done this 50 times already. wow she gave up pretty quickly huh.

oh for god's sake they'll reverse the fakeout death THAT quickly? i give up. and he lives just because of an emotional speech? please

can't believe tommy made a big deal about this and made everyone think they would split up somehow. oh wait he does that all the time and the fandom runs away with it every time. if you wanted emotional moments for zane and pixal you had a story about suppressing grief and trauma right there! why was pixal ok with him completely turning off his emotions earlier anyway?

oh well pixal's squeal of delight was adorable though

EP 27

lloyd: relying on others isn’t weak!

cheers i’ll drink to that. again this could have been really impactful after an arc about trusting too much to mistrusting too much to finally hitting that balance.

cuta jaya moment but nya's arc this season is basically generic “believe in yourself” and like. we've done that before. they literally just brought her back to return to the status quo for the “last” season.

racer 7: speed. i am speed.

ok i know i complain about ignoring the old seasons but at least they tried to tie in the other new seasons like calling vania and benthomar and all that. it's basically a replacement for when previous seasons would bring back the other EMs and such and i guess it makes sense since this is a different era of ninjago. all of that falls apart when they insist on bringing back characters like garmadon though...

oh finally they didn’t fall into the canal for once!

oh no if they make cole and vania get together i’m gonna...read the entire hs epilogues and hs2. worst thing i could think of.

the others are either gonna find another way to find out what happened and come to help them in the nick of time, or this was just a way of explaining why no one else came to help.

EP 28

oops i watched the final eps drunk after a party and I still haven’t gone back to rewatch them ^^; umm fun moments, dragon form was ???? out of nowhere and should have had a whole season centred around achieving this form, Nya’s character regressed, rushed ending considering how much history they had to tie up, llorumi bad and i miss those little legos already

[alex-turners-world]

Breana once talked about an encounter with Jill, where Jill said how Breana just can let Amelia walk at the Supermarket and Breana said I can look at after my child. And there was another fight they had and Matt took his mum's side. While now Amanda (a terrible example for a child) is liked by Jill. It's unbelievable. I mean the whole AM gang doesn't know what classy is. Nor they want classy women. Matt is the worst. Breana was a bit rebel at the beginning at their relationship when she was younger. Matt probably thought Breana will always stay like that. But the older she got she got more classy. Alex has a classy mum but hasn't found his classy woman yet. Nick had a classy one with Kelly and Jamie's wife is fine for him.

// I'm sure his mom adores Amanda. Same kind.

Yeah I also remember Breana talking about Jill not liking her because she's American. But she has no problem with Amanda now apparently 🤷🏻‍♀️ I think Amanda is a bootlicker and tries to be nice to Matt's parents in order to please them

I also remember Breana saying that when she was pregnant someone from Matt's family (don't remember who it was) started feeling her baby bump without her consent. It's very weird. I'm really happy she's not with Matt.

[kradeiz]

Fascism is not kind. It is not decent. It does not care about the individual because the individual is subservient to the state and in particular whoever runs that state. It is not compatible with Steve Rogers. Fascism does not fight for the greater good, it fights for the exultation of the inhuman, the commemoration of cruelty and the hatred of the different. Fascism is a loser ideology. This story thinks that fascism is just a generic dictatorship and that’s especially why it doesn’t feel as relevant as Marvel and Nick Spencer wanted it to feel. There’s no mention of how people become fascists nowadays. The radicalism, praying on the downtrodden and using them as scapegoats, giving would-be fascists a taste for it by being “edgy” and bucking against a system that wants understanding and empathy but they claim is just a “nanny state” or “policing your behaviour.” It doesn’t show how that transitions into starting to hate others for simply being alive, how it takes advantage of their selfishness, turning irony into outright bigotry.  It doesn’t show the tactics wherein they try to come across as the civil, reasonable ones when really they’re just trying to get a platform to spread their gospel.  It doesn’t show the bootlickers, the ones who are happily ready to sell out their fellows because they can smell power and opportunity. The ones who do so in the book? Just the misguided, the blackmailed, or the mind-controlled. It doesn’t show that it’s not really about trying to make the world better, someone changing from insecurity to cruelty. And the cruelty is the point.

Linkara, from his review of ‘Secret Empire’ 

[normaltremere]

♠️🔺🔆

a ‘dislike’ headcanon

nick hates bootlickers, and people who don’t/can’t question authority. if you’re too stupid to question how things are, why should you get his respect? he tries to discourage this kind of behavior in his friends and loved ones, to mixed results.

a sex headcanon

nick has a lot of experience, but most of it is with very casual partners. as you might expect, he has some pretty serious trauma surrounding sex, and that has led him to avoid doing it with people he actually likes for a long time. he has to be with a partner that he truly cares about (like his husband) to be able to relax and not subconsciously think about how well he’s performing.

a like headcanon (i think?)

despite how stressful it is, nick LOVES to be in the thick of political crises. when nishiki was actively plotting against the camarilla, he couldn’t have been happier. when people tell him he needs to slow down and take care of himself, he doesn’t know how to tell them that this is all he wants to do. this is what he was raised for.

[neptunian-aphonia]

rory tidbits!

his home life was nice! rory was the youngest of four (two brothers and a sister) and they all had a great relationship with each other. his parents were very kind, supportive people-- though they would always get disappointed and be like ‘smh’ when they caught rory nicking food.

he’s mixed! his mother was japanese, and his father black/white (specifically w/ scottish heritage).

in his sci-fi verse (which is sorta his default verse, bc he was originally made as a character in a sci-fi world), he’s sort of albino, because the station he grew up on had shitty artificial UV and no sun to speak of-- thus he wasn’t able to produce melanin properly in his formative years. when he does get some sun/uv exposure, he tans quickly into his natural skin tone, and his vitiligo becomes apparent. regardless, he’s v freckly :>

he, in any verse, was part of military-- quickly making his way up the ranks through brutal efficiency, his superiors essentially molding him into an obedient hound. he was also volunteered for experiments, much to his chagrin, though at the time he didn’t dare argue. and after a long time, he realized he fucked up he was getting and stopped being a bootlicker and now hates the military as an institution.

he eats a lot and runs hot, because his metabolism is still fast, even as an older guy-- in his sci-fi verse, it runs, in fact, unnaturally fast. the only exception is his fantasyish self, as he’s essentially a frankenstein’s monster, and usually feels rather cool to the touch, though not quite as much as a corpse. his metabolism will ramp up, though, when he gets that adrenaline pumpin.

he has PTSD, from a combination of exposure to war/active combat, and being experimented on.

also has depression. his self-esteem is awfully low, and it’s sort of been a constant his whole life.

has been married once, and divorced. his wife was named brenda, middle name karen, and i think that’s all you need to see why fjksdhj

more seriously, she was very manipulative; as well as emotionally and mentally abusive, and all too happy to take advantage of his rock bottom self-esteem.

he had three children: two daughters, butch and quinn, and a son, oliver. brenda won custody over them, but he still tries to be in their lives as much as possible.

he really, really likes motorcycles. in the fantasyish verse, it’s horses/mounts.

he thinks he’s... not very smart. didn’t do too well in school, and teachers/school staff were all too quick to treat him as just a Big Stupid Boy. really, he’s fairly intelligent-- he just doesn’t have much a mind for traditional book learning. 

[falloutdialogue]

Companion Swap: Hancock

I wanted to make a post for the dialogue between companions when you swap them, but that would be absurdly lengthy, so instead I made 13 posts; one for each companion’s dialogue when someone new is recruited instead of them. Here’s the one for Hancock!

Recruiting Cait

Hancock: Seems I’m gonna be missing out on all the fun. Cait: You have no idea, Hancock… no idea.

Recruiting Codsworth

Hancock: Well, this certainly puts a new spin on “cleaning up the Commonwealth,” don’t it. Codsworth: We shall leave it spick and span!

Recruiting Curie

Hancock: So, you gonna be able to take care of yourself out there? Curie: I have read all available materials on the subject. Will that not be sufficient?

Recruiting Danse

Hancock: Brotherhood, huh? Like to see what you’re capable of without all that power armor. Danse: Trust me, freak. You wouldn’t.

Recruiting Deacon

Hancock: Taking up with this guy, huh? Your funeral. Deacon: Funeral? I don’t think I packed a disguise for that.

Recruiting Dogmeat

Hancock: You’re up, pooch.

Recruiting MacCready

Hancock: MacCready, huh? That’s a hell of a gun to have at your back. MacCready: I aim to please.

Recruiting Nick

Hancock: You’re leaving me for this circuitboard? You bring her back in one piece, Nick. Nick: I can’t promise there won’t be some scuffs and dings.

Recruiting Piper

Hancock: Taking up with lil’ miss reporter, huh? I’m jealous. Piper: I can’t tell if that’s a compliment or a pick-up line or both, so I think we’re just gonna go.

Recruiting Preston

Hancock: Tell me, Garvey. What’s gonna keep the Minutemen from falling apart this time? Preston: You’re looking at ‘em.

Recruiting Strong

Hancock: This looks like the start of a seriously good time to me. Strong: No fun. Milk of human kindness is business.

Recruiting X6-88

Hancock: You really taking up with this Institute bootlicker? X6: It would appear she’s had her fill of topside garbage.

[dragonie]

Fallout 4: All Companion Swap Dialogues

So here are all the dialogues for swapping companions in Fallout 4, taken from both the game itself and the extracted dialogue files on the other Fallout Wiki. I thought I’d put them here since a lot of them are bugged in my game at least, especially X6′s dialogues. (Cut for length)

PRESTON->CODSWORTH Preston: Hey Codsworth. Take over keeping an eye on her for me? Codsworth: Yes of course, Mister Garvey!

PRESTON->DOGMEAT Preston: You'll keep an eye on her, won't you, boy?

PRESTON->PIPER Preston: Piper, you listen to her now. She'll keep you out of trouble. Piper: Outta trouble? Pfft. Where's the fun in that?

PRESTON->MACCREADY Preston: Good luck out there, MacCready. MacCready: Still wasting your time trying to save the world, huh Garvey?

PRESTON->HANCOCK Preston: Don't let him talk you into anything you'll regret later. Hancock: What, you jealous?

PRESTON->CAIT Preston: All yours, Cait. Take care. Cait: You really know how to make a girl feel missed, handsome.

PRESTON->STRONG Preston: I sure hope you know what you're doing. Strong: Strong always know what Strong doing. Human not worry about me.

PRESTON->NICK Preston: I know I'm leaving her in good hands, Nick. Be careful out there. Nick: I'll keep out of trouble if she does.

PRESTON->DANSE Preston: Remember... the Commonwealth belongs to all of us, Paladin Danse. Danse: Don't worry, Garvey. There shouldn't be a problem... as long as the Minutemen don't get in my way.

PRESTON->X6 Preston: If you trust him, General, then I guess I have to stop worrying. X6: No harm will come to her while she's under my protection.

PRESTON->GAGE Preston: I think you're making a serious mistake, General. Gage: Ha ha! Why don't you go on back to the rest of the sheep in the Commonwealth, "Minuteman."

CODSWORTH->PRESTON Codsworth: Mister Garvey, I am sure you will take good care of my mistress. Good day to you both. Preston: Take care, Codsworth.

CODSWORTH->DOGMEAT Codsworth: Replaced by man's best friend. I suppose I can't be too dismayed.

CODSWORTH->PIPER Codsworth: Miss Wright. I trust you'll do your best to put the safety of my mistress before your own personal gain? Piper: Of course, Codsworth. Jesus... Lucky for me, those two things go hand in hand.

CODSWORTH->MACCREADY Codsworth: Mr. MacCready, please take care of my mistress. If harm should befall her, I would be most disappointed. MacCready: Quit worrying, Codsworth. You're going to blow a fuse or something.

CODSWORTH->HANCOCK Codsworth: It's an honour, sir, to know that the beloved mayor of Goodneighbor is taking my place. Hancock: Pleasure, Codsworth. Keep it real.

CODSWORTH->DEACON Codsworth: And so it goes. Do be mindful out there, Mister Deacon. Deacon: Always am, Codsworth. That's one thing you can count on.

CODSWORTH->CAIT Codsworth: Ah, Miss Cait! So good of you to agree to take my place. May fortune favour the brave, my dear. Cait: You're begginnin' to get on me nerves, Codsey.

CODSWORTH->STRONG Codsworth: Well, he's a brutish one. Codsworth: Shall I lube the old joints while you're away? Strong: Robot stop squawking. Strong smash.

CODSWORTH->CURIE (Pre-Emergent Behaviour) Codsworth: Ah, Miss Curie. Never was there a more suitable replacement. Curie: So gracious of you, Monsieur Codsworth. Until we meet again.

CODSWORTH->CURIE (Post-Emergent Behaviour) Codsworth: Miss Curie, do take the utmost care of my mistress. I trust you're fully capable of handling your new body? Curie: But of course, Monsieur Codsworth. I assure you, no harm will befall your mistress.

CODSWORTH->NICK Codsworth: Mister Valentine, I couldn't have picked a more worthy replacement. Nick: Codsworth, you flatter me. You take care of yourself.

CODSWORTH->DANSE Codsworth: All my hopes go with you for a successful mission, Paladin Danse. Danse: Sure, Codsworth... thanks.

CODSWORTH->X6 Codsworth: Godspeed, X6-88. I know I can rest easy with someone of your skill at my mistress' side. X6: She couldn't be in better hands.

DOGMEAT->PRESTON Preston: Don't worry, Dogmeat. I'll take good care of her.

DOGMEAT->CODSWORTH Dogmeat: (sad whimper) Codsworth: Not to worry there, pup. Your mistress is in good hands.

DOGMEAT->PIPER Dogmeat: (sad whimper) Piper: Sorry, boy. Time for you to head home.

DOGMEAT->MACCREADY Dogmeat: (sad whimper) MacCready: Aw come on, Dogmeat. Quit trying to make me feel guilty for taking your place.

DOGMEAT->HANCOCK Dogmeat: (sad whimper) Hancock: Sorry, pooch. Stay.

DOGMEAT->CAIT Dogmeat: (curious sound) Cait: Don't look at me that way, you dirty little mole rat.

DOGMEAT->STRONG Dogmeat: (pained whimper) Strong: Go away dog!

DOGMEAT->NICK Dogmeat: (pained whimper) Nick: It's all right, boy. I'll take it from here.

DOGMEAT->DANSE Dogmeat: (curious sound) Danse: Don't worry, boy. I'll make sure this soldier comes home alive.

DOGMEAT->X6 X6: Good riddance.

DOGMEAT->GAGE Dogmeat: (sad whimper) Gage: Beat it, mutt.

PIPER->PRESTON Piper: Well, if it ain't the pride of the Minutemen. Be safe, you two. Preston: We'll do our best, Piper.

PIPER->DOGMEAT Piper: Don't let this one get you in too much trouble, boy.

PIPER->CODSWORTH Piper: Hey Codsworth. You sure you're up for this? Codsworth: Ms. Piper, I can think of no greater honour.

PIPER->MACCREADY Piper: Maybe just try not to get each other killed out there? MacCready: Getting us killed is the farthest thing from my mind, angel.

PIPER->HANCOCK Piper: If it isn't my second least favourite Mayor in the Commonwealth. Hancock: Well, well. The reporter. Sorry, darling. I ain't got time for an exclusive today.

PIPER->HANCOCK (Post-In Sheep's Clothing) Piper: If it isn't my second least...I guess now least favorite Mayor in the Commonwealth. Hancock: Well, well. The reporter. Sorry, darling. I ain't got time for an exclusive today.

PIPER->DEACON Piper: You two are heading out together? Not sure the Commonwealth's ready for that. Deacon: What's there to worry about? How much trouble could two people really get into?

PIPER->CAIT Piper: So, no one's managed to put you in the ground yet, Cait? Cait: Not yet, though it isn't for a lack of tryin'.

PIPER->STRONG Piper: Jeez, you Mutants are not much prettier up close. Strong: Strong say same about little lady.

PIPER->CURIE Piper: Have fun you two. Don't pick any fights I wouldn't. Curie: Well I hope to not have to pick any at all.

PIPER->NICK Piper: So, any stories you two come across out there, I get the exclusive, right? Nick: Piper, I wouldn't know who else to tell.

PIPER->DANSE Piper: You two play nice out there. Danse: Only if it "plays nice" back, citizen.

PIPER->X6 Piper: Well, if it isn't the Institute's little errand boy. X6: Spare me your quips, Ms. Wright. Some of us have real work to do.

MACCREADY->DOGMEAT MacCready: Oh come on, you're replacing me with a dog? Now that's just insulting.

MACCREADY->PIPER MacCready: So when are we going to have that one-on-one interview, Piper? Piper: Oh, MacCready. Never in a million years.

MACCREADY->HANCOCK MacCready: Hancock! How's the coolest Ghoul in the Commonwealth? Hancock: Hey, MacCready. Don't wait up.

MACCREADY->DEACON MacCready: All right, Deacon... I guess it's your turn. Stay safe. Deacon: Appreciate that, MacCready. You do the same.

MACCREADY->STRONG MacCready: All right, Strong... Looks like it's your turn, my massive, mutated friend. Strong: Goodbye, Mack Ree Dee.

MACCREADY->CURIE MacCready: Well Curie, I guess you're up. Have fun out there. Curie: Mon dieu! Always so polite. Au revoir to you, MacCready.

MACCREADY->NICK MacCready: Damn, I forgot to pick up that motor oil for you, Valentine. Nick: Cute, MacCready. You come up with that all on your own?

MACCREADY->X6 MacCready: Your turn, X6. I'm tapped out. X6: I'm ready to take over.

HANCOCK->PRESTON Hancock: Tell me, Garvey. What's gonna keep the Minutemen from falling apart this time? Preston: You're looking at 'em.

HANCOCK->CODSWORTH Hancock: Well, this certainly puts a new spin on "cleaning up the Commonwealth," don't it. Codsworth: We shall leave it spick and span!

HANCOCK->DOGMEAT Hancock: You're up, pooch.

HANCOCK->PIPER Hancock: Taking up with lil' miss reporter, huh? I'm jealous. Piper: I can't tell if that's a compliment or a pick-up line or both, so I think we're just gonna go.

HANCOCK->MACCREADY Hancock: MacCready, huh? That's a hell of a gun to have at your back. MacCready: I aim to please.

HANCOCK->DEACON Hancock: Taking up with this guy, huh? Your funeral. Deacon: Funeral? I don't think I packed a disguise for that.

HANCOCK->CAIT Hancock: Seems I'm gonna be missing out on all the fun. Cait: You have no idea, Hancock... no idea.

HANCOCK->STRONG Hancock: This looks like the start of a seriously good time to me. Strong: No fun. Milk of human kindness is business.

HANCOCK->CURIE Hancock: So, you gonna be able to take care of yourself out there? Curie: I have read all available materials on the subject. Will that not be sufficient?

HANCOCK->NICK Hancock: You're leaving me for this circuitboard? You bring her back in one piece, Nick. Nick: I can't promise there won't be some scuffs and dings.

HANCOCK->DANSE Hancock: Brotherhood, huh? Like to see what you're capable of without all that power armour. Danse: Trust me, freak. You wouldn't.

HANCOCK->X6 Hancock: You really taking up with this Institute bootlicker? X6: It would appear she's had her fill of topside garbage.

DEACON->PRESTON Deacon: Oh boy, it's an honest to goodness Minuteman. And here's me without my autograph book. Preston: Deacon. You ever want to fight for a cause bigger than a handful of people, you get back to me.

DEACON->CODSWORTH Deacon: Codsworth. It's time. Codsworth: Oh, Deacon, your witticisms, as always, are I'm sure quite droll.

DEACON->CODSWORTH Deacon: Codsworth. My main robot. How goes the butling? Butlering? You know. Codsworth: Oh, Deacon, your witticisms, as always, are I'm sure quite droll.

DEACON->DOGMEAT Deacon: Being benched for the mutt. Ouch.

DEACON->PIPER Deacon: Oh God. It's Piper. Hi, I'll be going. Piper: Oh, save your breath, Deacon. I know exactly what you're going to say. "No comment."

DEACON->MACCREADY Deacon: Still killing people for caps, MacCready? MacCready: I don't know... you still pretending to be anyone but yourself?

DEACON->HANCOCK Deacon: You're traveling with Hancock? Uh, are you sure that's safe? Hancock: Safe? Where the hell's the fun in that?

DEACON->CAIT Deacon: And here she is, the one the only... Caaaait. Is that how they used to do it in the Combat Zone? Cait: I'd be glad to show you how we did things in the Combat Zone, Deacon. Name the time and the place.

DEACON->CURIE (pre-Emergent Behaviour) Deacon: Getting traded out for the tin can? How humiliating. Hey, Curie. Curie: I assure you, Monsieur Deacon, I am fully equipped and quite capable of dealing with a multitude of situations.

DEACON->CURIE (post-Emergent Behaviour) Deacon: I like the new look, Curie. And people give me a hard time just for swapping out my face. Curie: Unlike you, I did not undergo such a procedure on a whim.

DEACON->NICK Deacon: Nick, you old dog, good to see you. With him along, I know you're both going to be fine. Nick: Ah, Deacon. We'll keep our eyes peeled. You just make sure your folks all keep doing the same, alright?

DEACON->DANSE Deacon: You want to travel with him? OK. Just watch your back. Danse: That's an interesting warning coming from someone who dabbles in manipulation and subterfuge.

DEACON->X6 Deacon: So I'll just be going. X6: One day you're going to tell me who exactly that is.

CAIT->PRESTON Cait: You really want that do-gooder watchin' your back? Suit yourself. Preston: One of these days you'll finally realise that the world doesn't revolve around you, Cait.

CAIT->CODSWORTH Cait: If you'd rather travel with this bucket of bolts, fine by me. You'll know where to find me. Codsworth: Charmed as always, Miss Cait.

CAIT->DOGMEAT Cait: I'm tellin' you right now. If Dogmeat gets you killed, I'm turnin' him into a fur coat.

CAIT->PIPER Cait: You two have fun together, Piper. Too bad we can't make it a threesome. Piper: Never going to happen, Cait.

CAIT->MACCREADY Cait: Well, hey there handsome. Watch this gal for me, will you? She loves to get herself into trouble. MacCready: For you, Cait... I'd do anything.

CAIT->HANCOCK Cait: I'll tell you what, Hancock. If I ever decide to go Ghoul... you're the first one I'm lookin' up. Hancock: I'll be countin' the days.

CAIT->DEACON Cait: Deacon... where have you been all me life, handsome? Deacon: Waiting for you, beautiful.

CAIT->STRONG Cait: I need you to keep this one alive, Strong. Strong: Don't worry, Strong smash enemy.

CAIT->CURIE Cait: Gonna replace me with the egghead, eh? Well, good luck in a firefight. Curie: No need to worry, Mademoiselle Cait. My offensive capabilities are quite formidable.

CAIT->NICK Cait: All right Nicky, watch yourself out there. Nick: Don't worry, Cait. I will.

CAIT->DANSE Cait: There's nothing quite like the smell of power armour grease and testosterone. Danse: The aroma is rather... pungent.

CAIT->X6 Cait: Let me give you some advice, X6. If you want to meet someone, you need to lose the name. It's a real turn-off. X6: Your logic appears flawed. I "meet" people all the time.

STRONG->PRESTON Strong: Puny human instead of Strong? Bah. Strong: Strong find milk without human. Preston: Don't know how you traveled with one of those.

STRONG->CODSWORTH Strong: Metal man weak. When metal man smashed, come find Strong. Codsworth: Weak! I'll have you know I've fended off bloodbugs when necessary.

STRONG->DOGMEAT Strong: That thing food, not fighter. After human eats it, come find Strong.

STRONG->PIPER Strong: Bah! This human soft. Weak. Not live long. Piper: Hey, now, big boy. I know a couple of your brothers that'd say different.

STRONG->MACCREADY Strong: This human good fighter. Almost as good as Strong. MacCready: Thanks, Strong. Coming from someone like you, that's a pretty big compliment.

STRONG->HANCOCK Strong: Ghoul good fighter. Strong approve. Hancock: Guess you Mutants do have some sense, don't ya?

STRONG->DEACON Strong: This puny human instead of Strong? Bah! Deacon: Good things come in small packages. Deacon: But then you know all about small packages don't you, Strong?

STRONG->CAIT Strong: Strong find milk of human kindness on own. Cait: What the hell is he talkin' about? Never mind. I don't want to know.

STRONG->CURIE Strong: When metal man is all smashed, come find Strong. Curie: Don't worry, Monsieur Strong. I don't rust so easily.

STRONG->NICK Strong: Puny metal man. He dies soon. Then find Strong. We look for milk again. Nick: Well, then get comfy, big guy, because I ain't checking out anytime soon.

STRONG->DANSE Strong: This human good fighter. Kill many brothers. Strong: Someday Strong smash. Danse: That's never going to happen, mutant.

STRONG->X6 Strong: Fake man dangerous. Good fighter, but can't trust. X6: Your opinion is of no concern to me.

CURIE->PRESTON Curie: I think with more people like you, Monsieur Garvey, civilisation will rise again. Preston: That's the goal, ma'am.

CURIE->CODSWORTH Curie: If it isn't Monsieur Codsworth. It is a pleasure to see you again. Codsworth: Doubly so for me, Miss Curie. Don't worry, I'll keep the Master safe.

CURIE->DOGMEAT Curie: Fascinating the bond between human and animal.

CURIE->PIPER Curie: You know, your Publick Occurrences should have scientific articles. Piper: You've never met our readers, have you?

CURIE->MACCREADY Curie: Do you have any new injuries for me to treat today, Monsieur MacCready? MacCready: Feeling fine, thanks. But if a couple Stimpaks fall my way, I wouldn't object.

CURIE->HANCOCK Curie: You are such a fascinating specimen, Monsieur Hancock. Hancock: You just love me for my body, baby. Happens all the time.

CURIE->DEACON Curie: Do not get her in any trouble, Monsieur Deacon. Deacon: Me? Get into trouble? I am the very definition of innocence. We're just going to spend all day playing canasta. Promise.

CURIE->CAIT Curie: I think if you travel with Cait, you may need to bring a little more ammo. Cait: You're just jealous because you'll be missin' all the fun.

CURIE->STRONG (Pre-Emergent Behaviour) Curie: To see a Super Mutant up so close. It is amazing. Strong: Keep robot away from Strong. Strong no like.

CURIE->STRONG (Post-Emergent Behaviour) Curie: To see a Super Mutant up so close. It is amazing. Strong: Keep little woman away from Strong. Strong no like.

CURIE->NICK Curie: You are a scientific marvel, Monsieur Nick. Nick: Oh, I'm sure you say that to all the junk in the scrap heap.

CURIE->DANSE Curie: Oh, it is Monsieur Danse. One day soon we must talk of the technological marvels of the Brotherhood. Danse: Sharing technological information isn't permitted. However, if you wish to donate yourself for study, I'm certain our scribes would be pleased.

CURIE->X6 Curie: I am so curious about just everything in the Institute. X6: Watch it, Curie. The graveyard's full of people that got too curious.

NICK->PRESTON Nick: You two go do the Commonwealth proud. Preston: We'll try, Nick.

NICK->CODSWORTH Nick: Don't let this one boss ya around, too much, Codsworth. Codsworth: There's nothing I'd like more, Mr. Valentine.

NICK->PIPER Nick: Traveling with Piper's not for the faint of heart. I'd know. Piper: Nick. You always know just what to say.

NICK->DOGMEAT Nick: Taking up with Dogmeat, huh? You two play nice out there.

NICK->MACCREADY Nick: So, this is the sort you're taking up with now? MacCready: Yeah. And who could blame her?

NICK->HANCOCK Nick: You two stay out of trouble. Hancock: Come on, Nick. You know I don't make promises I won't keep.

NICK->DEACON Nick: Hmm. Deacon. You two taking care of some... official business? Deacon: Nick. I haven't the faintest what you're talking about.

NICK->DEACON Nick: Hmm. Deacon. You two taking care of some... official business? Deacon: Mister Valentine, you flatter me.

NICK->CAIT Nick: Heading out with Cait, huh? Hope you know what you're getting into. Cait: Hey Valentine... I think you've got somethin' on your face. Oh, it's skin. Yeah, you might want to get that looked at.

NICK->STRONG Nick: Hey. Big guy. Don't eat this one, alright? Strong: Roboman not tell Strong what to do.

NICK->CURIE Nick: You two watch yourselves out there. Curie: Oh monsieur. We do not watch. We observe.

NICK->DANSE Nick: Danse. Danse: Valentine.

NICK->X6 Nick: So anyone ask about me down there in the Institute? X6: Why? Would you like a return visit?

NICK->LONGFELLOW Nick: You sure you two are gonna be all right out there? Longfellow: Quit your worryin', metal man. We'll be fine.

DANSE->DOGMEAT Danse: I doubt this canine can match my tactical prowess in battle, but it's your decision.

DANSE->PIPER Danse: Exercise extreme caution out there, Piper. The Commonwealth is hazardous for civilians. Piper: I can handle myself, soldier boy.

DANSE->MACCREADY Danse: I'm not sure why you'd want to travel with this... insubordinate civilian, but it's your decision. MacCready: Yeah... sorry Danse, I couldn't hear you over all that clanking.

DANSE->HANCOCK Danse: Keep away from me, you filthy Ghoul. Hancock: Don't flatter yourself, crew cut. You ain't my type.

DANSE->DEACON Danse: There's something you're keeping from me, Deacon. If I find out what it is and I don't like it, there will be hell to pay. Deacon: Well, good thing I have nothing to hide then.

DANSE->CAIT Danse: Just make sure you keep our mutual friend safe. Cait: Yeah, take a hike, Danse. This calls for a lady's touch.

DANSE->STRONG Danse: Why you'd choose to travel with this Mutant is beyond me. It should be destroyed. Strong: Metal man make Strong mad!

DANSE->CURIE (Pre-Emergent Behaviour) Danse: Being replaced by a machine... embarrassing. Curie: There's no need to be embarrassed, we merely possess different skills.

DANSE->CURIE (Post-Emergent Behaviour) Danse: Get out of my way, synth. Curie: But Monsieur Danse, how have I offended you?

DANSE->NICK Danse: I can't believe you're replacing me with this... thing. Nick: Believe it, bucko. Now isn't there someone else you should be irritating?

DANSE->X6 Danse: Get that damn synth away from me before I shoot it in the head. X6: If you attempt violence, I will respond accordingly.

X6->PRESTON X6: Our intelligence indicates that you have a strong sense of duty. This is the most important duty you will ever undertake. Preston: I know what I'm doing. It's not the first time I've had to protect someone.

X6->CODSWORTH X6: If you fail in this assignment, Codsworth, I will personally make sure that you are dismantled and then melted down. Codsworth: You have nothing to fear, Mister X. I am well aware of my duties.

X6->DOGMEAT X6: You can't be serious.

X6->PIPER X6: Our files indicate that you have a tendency to get into trouble, Piper. Try to stay out of it from now on. Piper: And who's gonna stop me? You?

X6->MACCREADY X6: I know your reputation, MacCready. I'm confident you can handle whatever threats you encounter. MacCready: Uh, yeah... thanks... I guess.

X6->HANCOCK X6: I hope you understand your responsibilities, Hancock. Hancock: Hey, it's me we're talking about. I got this, brother.

X6->DEACON X6: I don't know who you are, but if any harm comes to this woman, I will find out, and then I will find you. Deacon: Me? Oh, I'm nobody. But hey, don't you worry about a thing!

X6->CAIT X6: I'll be watching, Cait. If you fail to protect this woman, I'll know about it. Cait: Yeah, sure... what are you gonna do? Leak oil all over me?

X6->STRONG X6: You have the potential to be an excellent bodyguard, Strong. I just hope you understand your responsibilities. Strong: Strong protect by crushing enemies.

X6->CURIE X6: In my judgement, you're not ready for this, Curie. I hope you'll prove me wrong. Curie: I have survived centuries more than you, monsieur.

X6->NICK X6: This is the future of the Institute that you're protecting, unit. Remember that. Nick: And we wouldn't want to do anything to upset the Institute, would we?

X6->DANSE X6: You have the training and equipment to handle this assignment. The Institute's future will be in good hands. Danse: Don't mistake my tolerance of your existence for friendship, synth. We have nothing to say to each other.

[breakingarrows]

What makes a game a good game? I’ve been thinking about this, as well as what I have to offer to the greater conversations that are perpetually in motion Online. Taking a break from my usual outlet due to a huge feeling of apathy, I looked back towards my younger days just posting whatever it was on my mind on Tumblr and thought that was a time I was more satisfied. Not with a byline or great recognition but just kinda creating and putting it out there for nobody but myself to look over on a portfolio. So here are some thoughts on game criticism and media and the way they are used and could be used.

There is no such thing as an objective review. A great example of this is Objective Game Reviews that would post “Game reviews that are fact, not opinion.” An example from their “review” of RAGE:

One of the weapons in RAGE is the “wingstick,” a thrown blade weapon that can slice off the limbs of enemies and return to the player. Wingsticks can be steered through the air by moving the crosshair, and if they hit a hard surface or an armored enemy they can break. The player can craft wingsticks and alternative ammunition with parts looted from the world or purchased from vendors. Normal ammunition can be looted from enemies and refilled during a fight, whereas if alternative ammunition runs out the player must pause to craft more.

Another great example is Jim Sterling’s “review” of Final Fantasy XIII. Sterling did not like Final Fantasy XIII, giving it a Below Average, 4/10, for Destructoid on March 16, 2010. Of course reactions ranged from “whoa!” to “you didn’t even play the game.” In response, Sterling wrote up an objective review:

The videogame has graphics and sound. The graphics are seen with your eyes and the sound is heard by your ears. When you start the game the graphics and the sound will occur almost at the same time, letting you know that the game has started. There is also text which players can read.

Gamers who cry out against reviews that are not objective just disagree with what is being said, and don’t actually want an objective review that is just listing the things in the game as factual statements with no opinion on whether those things are good or bad. The same can be said of those who cry that a reviewer is “biased” towards a certain game/company/genre/etc. Most famously this is hurled towards Nintendo reviews for games that are perceived as bad but get good reviews “because Nintendo.” Sometimes it can be hard to not fall into this trap, as my reaction towards Skyward Sword getting hugely praised in 2011 was viewed as coming from people who couldn’t help but worship at the feet of Zelda and Nintendo.

The issue though, of universal praise for nearly every major title every year is something worth discussing. Both Nick Capozzoli, Vincent Kinian, and Tevis Thompson have talked about this before, the latter with a bit more hostility and other issues all his own, but the fact remains that there is a deep hole of variety when it comes to game reviews. This isn’t helped by the fact that more sites are beginning to realize the stupidity of assigning a score to a game, as if a number can accurately sum up a game’s worth and that elevating all games on the scale of numerical weight means games never meant to be compared to each other will be. See the meme of IGN’s review of Party Babyz Wii whose 7.5 was copy+pasted next to “better” games that got a lower review score for years.

Tevis links back the inability for game critics to come out and say Red Dead Redemption 2 sucks to the universally praised Bioshock Infinite of 2013, a game that mainstream media made multiple offerings to in the form of breathless praise, whereas others wrote out their criticisms on the periphery, best exemplified by the recent Critical Compilation on the game.

One critic he mentions is Videogamedunkey, a YouTuber who puts out short videos about whatever game is currently in the discourse. His slant is generally as an entertainment, comedian, wanting to make his viewers laugh, but also he talks about what he liked in the game and what he didn’t like. With Red Dead Redemption 2 Dunkey’s conclusion is the excess bears down on the game and he became as disillusioned as protagonist Arthur Morgan does with his mentor Dutch. It’s a fine video/review, though doesn’t nearly have the bite Tevis appears to want with regards to Red Dead Redemption 2, a bite I personally found in Jess Joho’s review of the game for Mashable which most aligned with my own feelings on the game and one he does list. Listing Dunkey also either shows Tevis’ ignorance or agreement with another Dunkey video: Game Critics, which provoked lots of conversations about people who review games for larger sites. Though, reading through Tevis’ piece, that video might be why he apparently looks up to Dunkey for good criticism. It is not like some of the issues Dunkey lists are wrong.

You’ve got your fanboys, your hobbyists, your escapists.  Your ‘objective’ reviewers, your consumer advisers, your spec hounds.  Your people pleasers, your twitter cheerleaders, your industry bootlickers.  Your never hate a game philosophers, your games are hard to make sympathizers, your but some people like it! tsk-tskers.  You’ve got old critics who’ve given up and young critics who’re getting there.  You’ve got so many internet professionals and professional apologists.  The tired, the self-censored, the players of the game.  None mutually exclusive.  All guardians of the status quo.

I think the real issue here is that the required work to put into really proving this sort of thing is massive. Reading and sorting the reviews based on site and author, taking into account Twitter posts that extend the conversation into an endless timeline unsearchable by keyword due to the often vague nature of criticizing criticism publicly. There have probably been hundreds of tweets in response to just Tevis’ blog as well as games criticism in general. It seems like the conversation about reviewers, their role, their work, their compensation, their method, is repeated ad nauseum monthly. Games media loves to talk about games media. I mean here I am, someone much lower than those I’ve mentioned, talking about it myself.

This sort of work loses the point, about what is it that makes a game good? Objective reviews are useless, subjective reviews are useful. What makes a subjective opinion worth reading? What makes the work their talking about worth something? These are the sorts of things that have many answers.

Some small things to get out of the way are some more useless things, specifically the belief that a 10/10 means a game is perfect, is a belief that is hard to get around despite how simple it is. A 10/10 just means it is the pinnacle of what games can achieve and others should be more like this one. What constitutes a 10/10 is, as everything is, up to personal taste. For myself, 10/10’s practically don’t exist since no piece of art is without flaw. We are all humans. Remember before when I said assigning numerical value is stupid? Well given the circumstances of Metacritic, assigning a numerical score might not actually be a dumb thing when it's used as a statement, a punctuation at the end of your text. If Tevis used numerical scores in his reviews and got onto Metacritic he would be able to wield them much more usefully as a way to vocalize dissent through metascore than as just a page of text most will pass by without reading.

Phrases such as “Isn’t for everyone” or “not a perfect [x].” are also useless in terms of criticism. Not every game is made for everyone or could even accomplish that if it were the intention. That phrase can be applied to any and every game and is therefore useless. As mentioned before, no piece of art is perfect, so simply stating that as some sort of qualifier that, “I like this but it’s far from perfect,” is such a pathetic qualifier that should never be used.

A review worth reading is one that brings a point, a perspective, an idea that you didn’t have before about a piece of art and put it in your head. It also has to have supporting evidence for its conclusions, the sort of Philosophy 102 cogent argumentative qualities that blew my mind as a college kid. Given that we have already had decades of consumer grade reviews: ones that break a game into categories and tie them together into a qualitative statement at the end, that we would be able to move on from that into something different. This includes the derogatorily described “blog” reviews, ones that are less about whether or not the graphics never stuttered and more about whether or not a personal connection was made to a specific aspect of a game, whether large or incidental. These are the kind of conversations that bring something new than whether or not the guns sounded satisfactory. This is the sort of conversation that differentiates critical YouTubers like Raycevick from Noah Caldwell-Gervais. Both put out videos on the recent Wolfenstein series and both took very different approaches to what they wanted to say about the game. Raycevick was more focused on the mechanics, the variation of the map, the way it linked together its setpieces. Noah was more interested in what the game had to say about America, Nazism, and the ways to resist and cope with a fallen country. The former might make for a good quick recap of what the games are and what they do in a input-output sense (think right-trigger, left-trigger of Call of Duty), but it's the latter that does the digging into what the game is beyond whether the shooting was good or the stealth sections not too frustrating.

When ascertaining whether or not a game is good there are some easy questions to ask. Did I make an emotional connection? Was that emotional connection cheap (say showing a dog dying) or earned? Does the game have something to say about a topic and do I agree with or disagree with its conclusion about said topic? Did I enjoy spending time within the game and why? Was this a worthwhile spending of my time?

Mechanic’s based criticism is also valid, but personally less interesting. Does it matter if Anthem has good shooting and flying if the things surrounding it are bland? This is where subjectivity again comes in. So far, out of all the shlooters released, I’ve found that you can have the most mechanically satisfying circle, but if that is surrounded by mediocrity it doesn’t matter, it’s a bad game. I don’t care whether or not the shooting felt good in a game, I want to know if the things surrounding those mechanics is worth investing time into. Red Dead Redemption 2 had a rote shooting gallery mechanic underlying most all of its missions, and that couldn’t be saved by the characters and world surrounding it which left me feeling like I had wasted my time come the credits. Of course many felt the opposite, and its the ways we craft the arguments and explanations for why we felt that way that make a good criticism. A review is likely not going to and not meant to convince you that a game you hate is good, but it should at least allow you to understand why the author felt that way about it.

Something that has cropped up recently when covering games is the conditions under which they are made. As we, hopefully, work our way towards a labor revolution not only in games but across all aspects of culture, we have become more aware of the way corporations exploit the lower class workforce. AAA development means overwork, let’s not even get started on the lie of the 40 hour workweek, underpaid, and stress that routinely leads to the end of careers. Rockstar management came out and boasted about their 100 hour work weeks in New York Magazine, which was then qualified as just the writing team, and then was further qualified by a Kotaku report (that has been the norm) about the conditions under which Red Dead Redemption 2 was created. The question became whether or not this would affect reception of the game. It didn’t.

I sometimes struggled to enjoy Red Dead Redemption 2’s most impressive elements because I knew how challenging—and damaging—some of them must have been to make. Yet just as often, I found myself appreciating those things even more, knowing that so many talented people had poured their lives into crafting something this incredible.

The game currently has a 97 on Metacritic, there was only one “mixed” scored review, and even those who didn’t give scores offered only a slight hand wringing at the way the game was created in their text. Kotaku’s section ends with a shrug, “yeah the people who made this were exploited but I’ll be damned if that exploited work isn’t impressive.” It’s useless to have in the text as it leads nowhere, and the question of, “was their labor worth it?” should always be answered with a resounding NO. We are attempting to unionize the industry in order to keep exploitation from happening. What a fucking useless gesture to contemplate whether or not someone spending weeks crunching was “worth it.” It’s the sort of thing Tevis called out in his post,

They couch any troublesome truths in acceptable gamerese, outline all possible caveats, neuter any rhetorical force, maybe dress it up for their academic buddies while they’re at it.  Suddenly everything is ‘messy’ or ‘complicated’ or ‘full of fascinating contradictions’.  Sure, they’re ‘frustrated’, even ‘disappointed’, but they’re still rooting for the game.  And always with due deference to their audience.  It’s not for me but it’s cool if you and it’s totally just a taste thing now don’t get me wrong now I know what you’re thinking now I’m not saying that, y’all.

Some of this comes from the fact that games media is largely made up of, and rooted in, enthusiasts: people who do it out of a love for the media itself. This may best be exemplified by a recent (now deleted) tweet from Brian Altano, video host/producer at IGN Entertainment:

I've been working in the video game industry since 2007 and I don't think I've ever heard more than three people legitimately call themselves "game journalists" without being sarcastic, ironic, or putting it in air quotes while laughing about it. That's... not an actual thing.

Brian has never been someone you go to for criticism or news, the things journalists do. He exists to make you laugh, to entertain you. Going to Brian to determine whether or not you should buy a game will end with “Yes!” or “Maybe try it out.” Brian exemplifies the type of critic Tevis decries in his opening paragraph. He isn’t a critic, but he does represent a larger audience than critics do. There isn’t a real large audience for the type of work done at Bullet Points Monthly, or else their Patreon would be much higher than it currently is. People go to websites like IGN and GameSpot to have their already convinced minds reinforced that what they like is Important. This is why there are multiple articles whenever a new trailer or piece of information comes out about the next Star Wars or Marvel movie or Game of Thrones. These things are big so we have to talk about them and reinforce their importance, further enriching the pockets of corps like Disney, whose billion dollar company is immoral with its continued existence.

The roots of game criticism comes from the game magazines and websites of the 1990’s. Work that existed to be read and shared not because they did a good job interrogating the things they proclaimed to love but because they were entertaining to read and reinforced your love, whether it be Nintendo, Sega, Sony, or Microsoft. The same sort of circular reinforcement continues in the larger sites today, which is why AAA games will never fall below a favorable average on numerical compilation sites, with exceptions of course. Not that this sort of status quo is unique to just games media. Noam Chomsky, in the book On Western Terrorism, mentions how the media in the West give no time to dissenting opinion,

If you want to say that China is a totalitarian state you can say it, you know. If you want to say something like the U.S. is the biggest terrorist state in the world, they are not going to stop you, but you do sound like you are from Neptune, because you are not given the next five minutes to explain it. So you have two choices, to either repeat propaganda, repeat standard doctrine, or sound like you are a lunatic.

I hope you’ll forgive me for likening the universal love of game critics to the propaganda machine of western news media, as it's comically different in terms of importance, but the similarity is there. People who don’t conform to the generally accepted opinion on a game are labeled contrarians just looking to make a buck off a different opinion. Those who are praising Breath of the Wild are just Nintendo hacks. Those who call into question aspects of God of War are just SJW cucks.

Michael Thomsen touches on this status quo as well in his review of Jason Schreier’s book Blood, Sweat, and Pixels for The New Inquiry,

In these times, the most important task of game journalism isn’t to serve a public interest but to ensure that fans can continue to identify some version of themselves in the games they have played, and ensure future releases will allow them access to even deeper levels of self-expression and understanding. In playing the next game, owning the newest console, having an opinion on the latest patch, we feel like we can become stabler versions of ourselves, all at the cost of clearing out space—both mental and financial—for open-ended consumption of a form without any purpose beyond this increasingly tautological pleasure. This process is necessarily dehumanizing. Games matter because you are here to play them, and you remain here to play them because they matter.

We can do better, as being human is to strive to be more than we are (yeah its a corny Star Trek clip but that episode fucks me up). I think it should be obvious that better games criticism is probably pretty low in terms of importance when you look at other things, but I do think it has influence on creating and leading conversations, the kind that lead towards stronger rights for laborers and are more critical of the output of corporations who seek only to deepen their own pockets.

[reallystellacadente]

The Silent Nemesis: The return of Voloren

I’ll post the whole thing here because it can be read entirely separately from my main fic. Under a cut for length, graphic descriptions of extreme violence and one very naughty word. 

Also on AO3.

He took me to see his handiwork in action. He smiled at its bloody pursuit like I had never seen him smile before. I felt insignificant around the beasts, around the cylinders of death and around his indifference to his family. The stench of blood and shit and disregard has never left my nostrils.

I never ate meat again.

Slitting a human’s neck is harder than you might imagine. It’s nothing like what you have seen in holodramas.

It’s not the most elegant way to kill, nor is it the easiest. But if you truly loathe your target, it’s immensely satisfying to watch them bleed out, and if you’ve planted your blade correctly, be unable to scream or even speak.

You need to realize, this takes practice to do correctly. Your dagger must be perfectly sharp, perfectly free of nicks or defects. You must be able to sneak up on your quarry from behind, grab them so they cannot shout out or wrestle free, and make your pass as quickly as possible. Without hesitation or doubt.

Then, you have the pleasure of watching them die. Death comes in a few minutes or so, if you have struck the carotid arteries and jugular veins with enough momentum to carry you through the trachea, the dark venous blood mingling with the bright arterial spray, painting the scene. Again, if you have done your job correctly, you could be rewarded with the thrill of listening to your prey choke on their own blood.

As I said, it is glorious.

I learned my technique from my father. He was neither killer nor butcher, but a most exacting architect of slaughterhouse devices used by nerf farmers on our home world of Alderaan. He was also a keen observer of the big, dumb beasts. Since he never showed a moment of kindness or engagement with his wife or any of my brothers or me, I cannot say he developed his creations as machines of mercy.

No, he preferred efficiency above all, such that when I, an angry young tyke, told him he’d make a fine Imperial military officer, he did not strike me for my defiance. Instead, he nodded his head and patted me on the shoulder. That was it.

His creations were huge durasteel cylinders that held the beasts still while a mechanically controlled vibro-blade drew across their massive necks, deep enough to slice through the larynx and trachea, never so deep as to sever the giant neck completely. There was no need for the brutality and indignity of shocking them into submission; it was considered merciful to just let the blood and life slip away.

The animal would be held, the blood collected for various uses, including a disgusting sausage the nobility prized. Then the cylinder would rotate and slide the massive carcass down a ramp onto a conveyor to be processed and commodified.

He took me to see his handiwork in action. He smiled at its bloody pursuit like I had never seen him smile before. I felt insignificant around the beasts, around the cylinders of death and around his indifference to his family. The stench of blood and shit and disregard has never left my nostrils.

I never ate meat again.

Well. Back to our lesson.

Now, if your target is larger than you, stronger than you or prone to shrieking, piercing them first with a paralytic stim might be called for. It adds some seconds to your task, but as I have said, this is not going to be a stab-and-run process anyway.

You need to grab them firmly, perhaps not with the grip of durasteel, but your prey is best served if you can make that initial contact before their muscles tighten and you have to cut even deeper

I should emphasize that this is not my preferred killing method. It’s much faster and quieter to kill your target by plunging the knife in their throat or their ribcage. I would not try this on a Trandoshian. If you must kill up close, there are a dozen other methods I prefer.

 A clash of metal on metal, a door swung open by a remote switch, a combat droid appears. “Prisoner 243-Vev-7, your mandatory outdoor recreation period has begun.”

My reverie is broken, but this is what I dream of in prison. Full sessions of passing my craft on to the next generation of spies and assassins. For I have been both.

But in this Imperial prison, I am allowed no audience. No access to the Holonet. I never see my fellow prisoners here. My recreation period is 30 minutes in a walled cage, open only to the gray skies of Dromund Kaas.

The food is not bad; I’ve had worse. Dathomir comes to mind.

My first benefactor is gone. Of that I am certain. It has been weeks since I received any reassuring notices from him that my incarceration is merely a ruse and that, once his power base has been secured, he will release me from custody.

At least before his mysterious end he gave me the name of the Imperial twat who captured me, the one I eluded ten years ago.

Malavai Quinn.

Even thinking his name makes me shudder with disgust.

But I came to realize in the years after, most of which I spent working on behalf of the Republic at my benefactor’s request, that said scum granted me an enormous favor.

He’d come so close to capturing me in my favorite bolthole, a backroom in a Hutt brothel. Still, I got away. I let myself think I was invincible, impenetrable, immune to capture.

I tormented the Empire and its assets for a decade, protected by my benefactor, now a darth and a power all his own. Then, the same bootlick who nearly caught me on Nal Hutta grabs me on a shuttle heading away from Tatooine.

I had thought myself the apex predator for so long, I forgot I could be brought down by a mere germ.

These months – has it been a year already? – in these gray walls, I have learned otherwise. I have had time to reflect on every mission, every deception, every kill. And I am better for it. I will study for this kill as I have never studied before and I will trap Malavai Quinn before he even knows I’m coming.

Then I will watch with glee as that patrician blood leaks out from his privileged veins and he paints the walls with my vengeance.

It will happen this time. Because what my dearly departed darth friend never knew is that I had more than one benefactor. What competent independent operator wouldn’t?

And as soon as I am free of this place, I will head his way and see if he can assist me in my bloody revenge.