#nick has actually never played mario kart this is a real fact

[phandomphightclub]

Phinal Round Match 2 (First Place): @auroraphantasma vs. @ecto-american

Writer: @dannyphandump

“You can do this, Nick,” Vic said with a (hopefully) comforting pat on the next phighter’s shoulder.

“Yeah.  I’m tough.  I’m cool.  I’m the best dang hot pocket-warmer there ever was!”

“...Not sure why that’s relevant, but okay!”  Vic flashed him a thumbs up.  “Now go out there and kick Aurora’s butt so my security team doesn’t get Vibe Checked halfway across the Zone again!”

The security team had lost G3, Cecilia, and Lori to the cursed Vibe Check.  Tali was going to have to reopen Denny’s job applications again at this rate.  Which would be kind of a let down, since the Denny’s was about to close after this match anyway.

From their place in the VIP box, Tali watched Vic nudge Nick out into the ring.  From the opposite side, Aurora was escorted in by Nero and Rin.

“Man, you guys sure are scared, huh?”  Aurora grinned.  “What do you think I’m going to do, waste my energy Vibe Checking you when Nick is right there?”

Nick gulped.

Tali started to wonder about the ethical implications of sending Nick into the ring against his constant tormenter, where the only rules were “phight until your opponent is incapacitated.”  But it wasn’t like they were going to cancel the Phinal over something as little as fear of permanent trauma.

“Alright frootloops and gentlehoes, phools of all genders, it’s the phight you’ve been waiting for!! Nick aka Ecto-American will face down the terror of the ring, the pillowcase-weilder from Nightmare Valley herself, Auroraphantasma!”

The crowd was split in its cheers, some chanting Nick’s name (and screaming about Hot Pocket Rights), while some chanted “VIBE! CHECK! VIBE! CHECK!” presumably in honor of Aurora.

“No running this time, Nick.”  Aurora grinned, holding her oddly-stabbed pillowcase like a sword.  It was only now that Danny saw it held still that he realized it had a picture of Denny Phantom on the front, the unofficial mascot of the Ghost Denny’s.

“What did they do to you, my poor restaurant-themed kin,” Danny whispered.

“...You’re gonna accept that Denny’s kinned you?”  Tucker asked.

“You know this isn’t the weirdest thing that’s happened.”

“Fair enough.”

“And at risk of causing Nick nightmares for the foreseeable future…” Tali began, “PHIGHT!”

And Phight they did.

Aurora flew in swinging— or rather, teleported in swinging.  Her Denny’s application had warned that she could and would teleport behind you, and she intended to use that power to its fullest.

Nick, however, had experience in dodging the now-predictable attack.  He cartwheeled out of the way, stuffing his own secret weapon into his mouth:  the perfectly-cooked Magic Star Hot Pocket.

“No way,” Tali breathed.  “I thought that hot pocket was only found in legends.”

“...It’s literally just a hot pocket?”  Bug said behind them.  “What’s so special about it?”

“Nick’s been working on the recipe all month,” Tali confided.  “You know his vendetta against Mario Kart?  It’s partially because Mario Kart apparently ruins friendships, but it’s also because he had to play it for weeks straight in order to collect all of the Power Stars he needed to fuel his Hot Pocket.”

“...That’s some serious backstory you just made up there.  Mad props.”  Bug nodded.

“Thanks, I try.”

Regardless of the Magic Star Hot Pocket’s origins, it did its job: making Nick completely invulnerable to all attacks.  Including the dreaded Vibe Check.

“You have no power over me, Aurora!”  Nick called, grinning with the rainbow remnants of the hot pocket smeared across his mouth.  “I sacrificed my sanity to Mario Kart for this!”

“Yeah, well, we’ll see how invincible you really are!”  Aurora challenged back.  She geared up to swing her pillow case, holding it back like charging up Ness’s Baseball Bat attack in Super Smash Bros.  She began to glow as the power collected in her crucified pillow case. **

She just had to wait for Nick’s star power to wear off… but she did have less stamina than the fattest cat in the world.

“This is… oddly anticlimactic.”  Bug said, resting their chin in their palm.

“Shh, they’re having a stare down,” Tucker said.

“Which would be a lot more intimidating if the Mario star music wasn’t playing in the background,” Sam countered.

Tali didn’t care; they were on the edge of their seat, staring just as intently to see which phighter would break first.  Nick began to sweat, not daring to try to strike Aurora while her pillowcase was charged.  Even star power could only take him so far.  He needed to wait for the right moment…

“Agh, enough of this!”  Aurora shouted, throwing her speared pillowcase like a javalin.

The fabric image of Denny Phantom flew through the air.  Came into contact with Nick’s chest— 

And was flung back just as forcefully, effectively Vibe Checking Aurora straight out of the ring.

“VIBE CHEEEEEEEECCCCCCKKKKKKKK!!!!”  She called as she flew out of the stadium, past the Denny’s, into the ghost zone version of the moon.  A tiny explosion could be seen on it.

“That… where did that moon come from?”  Danny asked.

Tali shrugged.  “Aurora’s desire to be dramatic.”

“And dramatic it was,” Bug admitted.  “Probably not as much flair as my win last year, but A for effort.”

Tali grinned before raising their kazoo to play the Mortal Kombat theme, while Lexx beatboxed in the Danny Phantom theme over it from across the stadium.

“And there you have it, pholks!  Auroraphantasma is unable to battle and is our second place winner!  Ecto-american wins the first prize!!”

Vic stepped into the ring to hand the shell-shocked Nick the trophy (which someone should design, because Tali had no idea how to describe it).

“I… I won?”

“You won.”  Vic said, offering her hand for a fist bump.  “Any words you’d like to give the crowd on your victory?

Nick bumped knuckles with enthusiasm.  

“I’ve never played a game of Mario Kart in my life.”

[popculturebuffet]

Quick Thoughts: Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl Reveal Trailer and Initial Roster

Whelp I didn’t expect to be doing another one of these so soon but welcome to quick thoughts where I give well quick thoughts on stuff instead of the longer form reviews I usually do. 

So as longtime or even short time readers of this blog might know I love NIck. I don’t review shows from it as often as Disney or Cartoon Network, but it was still a beloved part of my childhood and still makes great shows today such as the Loud House, Harvey Beaks and Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. It’s horribly mismanaged, which is why two of those shows are no longer with us and the last of them is weirdly missing from this game, and have a long and storied history of screwing things over.. and i’m not exagerating when Mr. Enter, no matter your opinon of him now, did a whole marathon of every nicktoon almost every entry included the fact the show had been screwed over in some way. 

But as anyone who knows my history with Disney will tell you just because I don’t sugarcoat a brand I like’s fuckups dosen’t mean they aren’t near and dear to me at the same time. I”m a grown up: I can have complex emotions towards a chlidren’s tv network. So I love it’s varied shows some of whom (Avatar, Harvey beaks again, Danny Phantom, Hey Arnold) are among my all time faviorites. 

Now something readers of my blog probably WOUDLN’T know is I love Nintendo, they have their own fuckups like weird release strageies and never doing a remotely decent discount like the competition, but their still a company I love and since I only play handhelds most of the time are my primary source of good shit. So naturally Smash Bros is my faviorite franchise of theres. I love the idea of fighting games but often struggle with the combo heavy nature. So Smash Bros, having a roster of some of my faviorite characters ever, a plaformer style control scheme, and a deceptivley simple style that’s easy to learn and fun to master with the right character, is my shit. Sure I won’t rush out to buy every dlc character, but you better belivie I played the hell out of Ultimate, will likely go back to it again some day, and did buy Banjo and Kazooie because fuck yeah. 

So yeah I needed to talk about Nick making their own smash bros clone. When I heard the rumors I wasn’t sure, mostly because Rumors can be just that.. but nope this game is happening and i’m all on board for it. This isn’t Nick’s first crossover rodeo in recent memory either also making a pair of Kart Racing Games: one I KINDA wanted to play till I looked at the roster, had a good laugh and lost that i want, and the other I really want to play as it seems like the first game if it were you know an actual game with a decent track selection, a deep character roster and an actual love of it’s properties. 

So making their own Smash Bros was a logical step and one i’m here for. We haven’t had any of the big cartoon networks make one since well.. Cartoon Network, and Nick has just a deep a bench to pull from, one that will hopefully get CN to get their cast to throw hands once more. 

For now though the idea of the vast history of nick all throwing hands with each other is amazing. Look i’m honest with myself: this looks like a decent smash clone,functional but nothing specail, but with the expressive character animation and solid roster you need for a game like this. I know going in i’m not going ot get Smash Ultimate quality of brawler, but i’m probably going to have fun with it. 

The only downside I see so far is , like the Kart Racers, theyd idn’t seem to get ANY voice actors for this which smacks of laziness, especially since most of the voice actors for these characters are still active, and in some cases like Spongebob or Loud House are still working with you. So you have no real excuse for this, shame on you.

But yeah the game looks good.. despite the trailer being pretty bad. It’s just some generic music set to “LOOK WHO WE GOT”. And granted look who they got is really spiffy and i’ll be diving into that in a second, but it dosen’t give any of these characters a reall chance to show off how they play or how awesome they are. It’s just a bland montage of whose in the roster in the same 2 or 3 stages. And when you have 15 stages overall to show off that’s not excusable. Again i’m not expecting Smash level quality revelas, this game dosen’t have the marketing budget, but you have a really great concept and roster here, you coudl’ve revealed it better and this game better. The Kart Racers 2 Trailer was also mildly bland but it did show off the game better, showing off several tracks and how VASTLY improved the roster was, so you CAN make a good trailer you just didn’t. It felt like they thought the poitn of all the smash reveals trailers was here’s a character and missed all the style and substance to them. 

That being said while the trailer was weak.. it was boyed by the fact this roster is REALLY damn good. Let’s face it I woudln’t even be talking about this game if the roster wasn’t this minty but they clearly learned from Kart Racers not to half ass it and while they learned the long lessons from Smash in how to promote the fighters they have, they learned the right lessons in having a nice mix of crowd pleasing faviorites for kids and vetrans alike along with a few deep cuts for said longtime fans. And this is JUST the intitial reveal roster: Given the Box Art isn’t out yet, I feel there’s more to come, especially since despite being perfect for the game there’s no one from the Avatarverse yet, but I also feel that Nick is saving that for a second trailer to announce the release date. But I can and will go into who i’d LIKE on the roster in another one of these sometime soon. -

Spongebob, Patrick and Sandy (SpongeBob Squarepants): I’m getting these three out of the way as their essentially to this what Mario and Co were to smash: necessary and inevitible.  As for who was chosen.. it was as obvious as putting spongebob himself int he game. Sponebob is Nick’s mascot, Patrick is nearly as iconic and Sandy is well loved as well as the spongebob character most associated with buttkicking. Being an expert martial artist is both part of her character and a cerntral part of her character and relationship with Spongebob. So yeah not a lot ot say here: it was ineivible but I don’t mind at all having grown up with them and with my niece and nibling being huge fans. 

87 Leo and 87 Mikey (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles): This one i’m mixed on. Not on the turtles being here: i’m a MASSIVE TMNT fan and i’td be stupid to leave them out since Nick Owns them, made the last two series, and they fit this kind of game like a glove, even having had their OWN smash clone to themselves once. 

No my issue is obviously in the version choseN: The 87 turtles. Again I have no beef with the guys themselves, I haven’t seen much of 87 but I want to and they look really gorgeous and nicely cartoony. It’s just a REALLY weird choice. The 87 turtles have never been on a nick network due to rights issues, have never been associated with nick, and aren’t the ones most kids of EITHER DEMO would be familiar with: Grown up fans of nicktoons from the 90′s like myself would be more familiar with 2003, and kids and teens from more recent eras would be more familiar with 2012 and rise, which REALLY should’ve been the rep. I mean their weird shame of rise bothers me enough on a good day but not using EITHER show you actually made bothers me, it bothers me a lot. I’ll still probably play Mikey, i’m not made of stone and as I said I have no beef with the 87 turtles, I just wish nick had used the others or hell just gone all lin and used one turtle from each cartoon. I mean if your going to use stuff you’ve barely aired why not give me some 2003 nostalgia too huh? Though it could just be that since, unlike the rise and 2012 turrtles the 87 turtles have the same body type and colors it was easier to just do all 4 and just give each unique facial expressions. Who knows... I knows it was probably that. 

Lincoln and Lucy Loud (The Loud House, Duh): Another pretty obvious one as The Loud House is currrently nick’s co-flagship show with spongebob. Still waiting for my diffrent world spinoff with Bobby and Lori guys. So yeah Lincoln isn’t a suprise and Lucy is only minorly one as it was a matter of “which sister”... and Lucy is one of the most popular. Neither really fit a combat setting.. but given this is a fun crossover game, that really dosen’t matter and in fact is kind of the fun: taking just the most insane matcchups imaginable and mashing them together. I mean this is a game where Lincoln and Lucy can beat up Leo and Mikey, why wouldn’t I want that kind of crack on my nintendo switch? I am hoping for Luna to make her way to the stage next as she was absent from Kart Racer 2 and would be really fun to play. Plus having ANOTHER bi fighter in the mix if korra gets in there would be awesome, let alone letting the two beat up or punch each other’s face. But again I could and probably will mak ea whole article about other possible fighters i’d want. 

The Plesant Suprises: Nigel Thornberry , Oblina and Powdered Toast Man (Wild Thronberries, Ahhh! Real MOnsters1 and Ren and Stimpy) : Yeah while only one of these cartoons was a faviorite as a kid (Wild Thornberries)... I have nothing but respect for these choices. One of the funnest things about Smash is while you can see some roster members coming sometimes you get utter curveballs like Mr. Game and Watch, Pirana Plant and MInecraft Guy. They also go for more cult franchises like SNK or Earthbound (the latter of which is fucking awesome localize mother 3 already dammit) too among the big heavies, making it feel like a true tapestry of Nintendo’s history. 

Nigel is the only one of these three that’s really obvious. He’s a meme, he was the best part of his show.. but it’s still just uniquely batshit to put NIGEL THRONBERRY in a fighting game. You better belivie he’ll be one of my mains. 

Oblina is more a suprise because I thought they’d go with Icket, but instead went wtih the character who was more popular and had a really unqiue and cool design, so i’m pleased as punch to have her. Finally while I don’t have any real attachment to ren and stimply apart from Log, and really it’s hard to gain any now knowing i’ts creator was a pedophile piece of shit, the franchise is still a cornerstone of nick history, the rest oc the crew didn’t abuse power or not make deadlines or be a com plete piece of shit, and powerded toast man is genuinely great. I”d love to see Really Big Man too, clash of the weird superheroes, I love me a weird as hell superhero. This also speaks promisingly that w’ell get some real weird curveballs to come and i’m here for it. 

The Rest: Helga, Zim, Danny and Reptar. (Hey Arnold, Invader Zim, Danny Phantom and Rugrats! ): Note i’m not lumping these together because their bad: their all graet nostalgic picks from timeless shows and with the rugreboot currently running on Paramount+, it’d be weird not to represent them. 

And since I brought it up reptar is a fun chocie, another oddball but one more understandable as no one wants to beat the shit out of a toddler. Or rather no one playing the game would care you could because it’s a silly fighting game and a 12 and 8 year old are also beat upable, but someone would probably throw a fit somewhere. Plus again it’s a game where you can have danny phantom fight reptar. Shut up and take my money. 

The rest are all great choices if ones I’m not suprised by: Hey Arnold’s an all time classic and being tough is a lot of Helga’s character, and again I can have her throw hands with nigel thornberry, reptar and a ninja turtle in the same match. Zim is another fan faviorite and fits the game like a glove and Danny Phantom is the one out of Nick’s three suprehero classics it actually still cares about so my boy getting in there isn’t a shocker, though his attacks lookw eird. Hopefully they green them up before the final prduct. 

So yeah overall it looks really promsing and really fun and i’ll probably check this game out if I get enough money when it comes out or more likely put it on my christmas list. But I will get it somehow this i swear.. speaking of which put manny in the roster dammit. If you liked this.. thing consider joining my patreon for a buck a month fo exclsuvie reviews and ot help me review tuca and bertie, amphibia and more as part of my memebership drive. 

[aion-rsa]

GTA Could Be Banned in Illinois and the Internet Isn’t Having It

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If an Illinois lawmaker has their way, then Grand Theft Auto and other violent video games could soon be “banned” in that state. Why? Well, along with the usual moral panic excuses, it seems that Rep. Marcus C. Evans, Jr. believes GTA could be partially responsible for recent Chicago crime waves.

This proposal (House Bill 3531) is actually an amendment to a 2012 law that prohibits the sale of certain video games to minors. Under the new bill, restrictions would be expanded to prevent all sales of what the documents refer to as “violent video games.”

In the bill, a violent video game is described as a game that “allows a user or player to control a character within the video game that is encouraged to perpetuate human-on-human violence in which the player kills or otherwise causes serious physical or psychological harm to another human or an animal.” As you have probably gathered, that’s a vague definition that covers a lot of ground and a lot of games.

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

However, there is one game that Rep. Marcus C. Evans, Jr. has referenced most often as part of his ongoing push to get the amendment passed.

“Grand Theft Auto and other violent video games are getting in the minds of our young people and perpetuating the normalcy of carjacking,” Evans says. “Carjacking is not normal and carjacking must stop.”

Why is Evans so focused on the “not normal” (thanks for clarifying that one, Mark) crime of carjacking? Well, it seems that auto theft is on the rise in Chicago. CPD reports from January claim that police in the area responded to 218 carjackings in January 2021. For what it’s worth, 2020 was also a banner year for carjackings in Chicago as the number of auto theft cases that were reported that year more than doubled the previously reported 2019 figures.

The amendment is supported by Chicago’s Early Walker who started Operation Safe Pump: a program designed to protect gas stations, shopping centers, and other highly-targeted areas from carjacking attempts. Much like Evans, Walker, believes that banning sales of GTA and similar titles could help slow the rising crime numbers.

“I feel like this game has become a huge issue in this spectrum,” Walker said. “When you compare the two, you see harsh similarities as it relates to these carjackings.”

Does this amendment have a chance of being passed? Well, you should never say never, but if previous attempts at passing similar laws are any indication, then it’s highly unlikely that this bill will gain much traction. Beyond the many, many, many, studies we could point you to which find that the correlation between violent video games and real-life violent acts is thin at best, the fact is that widespread media like this one almost never get passed. Here’s what former Supreme Court Justice Scalia wrote in response to a 2011 attempt to restrict the sales of violent video games in California:

“Like the protected books, plays, and movies that preceded them, video games communicate ideas — and even social messages — through many familiar literary devices (such as characters, dialogue, plot, and music) and through features distinctive to the medium (such as the player’s interaction with the virtual world). That suffices to confer First Amendment protection.”

While you may wonder if the specific rise in carjackings could make it easier to identify GTA as a “problem,” that doesn’t seem likely. Reports regarding the rise of crimes in Chicago and other major cities across America in 2020 and early 2021 point to a variety of factors and video games are not among them. Furthermore, there’s actually been a decrease in certain major crimes across Chicago (and elsewhere) over that same time period.

As is typically the case when these things come up, though, most people can’t help but focus on the fact that we’ve been dancing this same dance ever since Jack Thompson waged war against Mortal Kombat in the ’90s and got more people talking about the impact of video games on the youth of America. Ultimately, though, the conversation never amounted to much more than a bunch of noise.

Speaking of conversations, the internet is having a field day with the idea of GTA being banned in Illinois:

The most recent GTA came out in 2013, we trying to ban Gex too? https://t.co/cDNPJHbYjz

— TJ (@SlurmsMcknzi) February 23, 2021

I love the '90s. https://t.co/VsFi0D97Ft

— Nick Gillespie (@nickgillespie) February 24, 2021

The year 2047 : "After its recent release on PlayStation 17, lawmaker proposes Grand Theft Auto 5 Ban"

— Potatoad (@ThePotatoad) February 23, 2021

Six months later: Illinois rep buys GTA V that he helped banned

— Archer 2.0 🌹 Neera Tanden is a Wall Street Dem (@Map4latte) February 25, 2021

Ban Grand Theft Auto? Might as well ban Mario Kart cuz I feel like chuckin’ bananas at MFs all the time. pic.twitter.com/byQff4mbpl

— Graves Asher (@graves_asher) February 23, 2021

We’ll keep you updated if we learn anything else about this story, but based on what we know now, you’re probably better off holding your breath for the release of GTA 6 than holding your breath for a GTA ban in Illinois.

The post GTA Could Be Banned in Illinois and the Internet Isn’t Having It appeared first on Den of Geek.

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