#niche jokes

[misguidedandperplexed]

Q: What night of chanukah is it?

A: Last night we lit 1.

[monstrousgourmandizingcats]

Mr. Reed: Ha! You have had no agency ever since you entered this house! Even when I've had to improvise, I have still been able to anticipate your reactions! You have no desires of your own, only the hallucinatory impulses that your ridiculous religion has inculcated! Sister Paxton: I may not have had any agency and I may still have no real control over the situation, but I can choose to express care for myself and others. Facts in themselves have no power to extort a verdict from me! Mr. Reed: Bwahahaha! Hypocrite that you are, you claim a free conscience even though your desire for domination and control has dictated every moment of your existence. If it isn't me, it'll be the men from your church; if it isn't them, it'll be somebody else. Sister Paxton: Ugghhh...uwwaaaaaauuuuuughhhh! Mr. Reed: You yearn for your will itself to be controlled just as keenly as do my prophets. Sister Paxton: We--we can still make decisions about whom we are willing to serve, and for what reasons, even if we know those choices might not be based on independent realities. The nature of a choice that can be made in moral freedom, despite previous choices having been conditioned from previous systems of control, is a devil's proof! I refuse to elaborate!

[pensat-i-fet]

Got his showcard ready for fashion week 📸

[astralbondpro]

[serenity-the-firefly]

*lazzaro felice voice* mi dispiace but non posso work today per che io have la febbra

[hydrogenperfoxide]

Gonna make a Linux themed breakfast product that uses puffed amarath, buckwheat, and quinoa. It's called

Sudo Cereal

[myriad501st]

As someone who walked along these all the time as a kid, this is great

oh god ! someone spilled vanilla extract all over the children’s hospital!!!

[quacaserous]

has this been done already

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

The squad of all time has arrived on scene.

[poppetawoppet]

Eating corn on the macabre at M’Barbeque!! With the Liab

at the goth bbq eating corn on the macabre

[the-dragon-girl-27]

Surprised nobody has made this joke yet

Plesiosaur grindset

[ayy-junipei]

Yaoi anomaly

[ghost-proofbaby]

can y'all please come into my humble abode and imagine something with me i don't yet have the wits to write a full fledged fic out of (yet)?

so, everyone knows how when you get a tattoo, part of the healing process is the itchy phase, right? and for obvious reasons, you can't scratch it. favored method, in my experience and fellow tatted friends, is to just give it a good old slap.

perfect. so now, with this in mind, can you imagine having gotten a large hip/ass piece, and how mortifying it would be to smack your own ass to soothe that itch? and it's just plain painful. you want your new ink to heal properly - it's gorgeous and you put a lot of time, pain, and money into that damn thing - but it just sucks.

enter best friend eddie.

he loves your new ink. thinks it's fucking sick. nearly creamed his damn pants when he found out you were doing a hip/ass tatt (because how can he ask to see it without being weird? how can he react to that without being weird when he's spent the last several years with the world's most pathetic crush on you?) at first, it's fine. you show him the tattoo in a totally friendly, totally platonic way. he hypes you up, he calls you 'the most metal person he knows'. flourishes you with all the compliments and looks at you with starry eyes out of sheer awe at the way he's managed to snag a person into his life who is just so. damn. cool.

but the days pass by, that new ink begins to heal, and it fucking itches.

when you first proposition him, you're even more embarrassed than he is. stumbling over all your words, the request coming out contorted every wrong way. you don't want to make things weird, but is it really that weird for a friend to help a friend? it is really that weird to ask your best friend to smack your tattoo to help with that itch you can't even really properly reach?

it's just friends helping friends.

and that's the mantra you both repeat to yourselves - as you request the embarrassing favor of him, as he agrees almost too eagerly, as you find yourself face-planted in your bed wondering how deeply you can bury down your shame as he tries to make jokes to make it all a bit less awkward.

it's just friends helping friends, until eddie's hand lands down on your ass with a resounding smack, and that first little whimper escapes your lips.

[atheostic]

Andvari after getting mugged by Loki in The Otter's Ransom.

Context: Andvari was a Dwarf turned into a fish who had a magic ring that made money (until Loki mugged him for it)

I don't like being advertised at

[ursinedyke]

[soaptaculart]

Zelda & Link 🫶