#nice to see bones finally get some action anyway

[redhead-batgal]

can I request you do a Tim Drake x reader where the reader is a spider-like anti-hero that is infamous for getting on batman's bad side due to their methods (i.e. hurting bad people like r*pists, etc.) as well as criticizing him for his techniques, and Tim one day bringing them to the manor after a night of patrol and how the batfam reacts? [can you use 21, 8, 15, 28, 31, 32, 19, 35, 26, 17, 3, 1 & 25 from the neutral prompts; 23 from the angsts prompts; and 1, 27, 34 from the fluff prompts]

I'm so sorry this is pretty long, you can cut out any prompts if you'd like wefhsdkj anyways, have a nice day/night & I love your writing!

Pairing: Anti-Hero! and Gender Neutral! Reader x Tim Drake/Red Robin

Prompts: ϐ1: "“Hmmm, what if-” “Oh no, don’t you start that sentence, don’t you dare make that face." ϐ3: "Go on, keep calling me names, see what happens." ϐ8: "FINALLY! Someone who gets me!” “They literally just breathed.” “It was a sigh and fuck you.” ϐ15: "Are you fucking kidding me?” “No, not in the slightest” ϐ17: "She is my favorite sister.” “I’m not even your sister.” “Not yet.” ϐ19: “Are you insane?” “Most likely.” ϐ21: “You’re late.” “You see I would have been on time, but I was kinda keen on not dying.” ϐ25: “You, my friend, are going down a very dark path.” “Well, the light is broken.” ϐ26: “Get the fuck off of my car.” “Say please.” “Please get your fucking ass off of my fucking car” “that’s not very nice” “I’m done.” ϐ28: “And here I was thinking you were dead.” “As if death could be so lucky to be blessed with my presence.” ϐ31: “IS THAT A KITTY!” “Be quiet, we are supposed to observe and report!” “But the kitty…” ϐ32: “Shock me,” “I would but I’m afraid it’d kill you, old man.” ϐ35: “You know it’s very nice to be wanted.” “NOT BY THE FUCKING FBI DAMN IT!” ✢23: “Heroes die young anyways, might as well live as a villain.” ☙1: “I honestly don’t think there’s anyone I ever loved as much as I love you.” ☙27: “I love every damned piece of you no matter what anyone else says.” ☙34: “Damn you smell really nice.”

Content: Cursing, fluff, antics and Batfamily shenanigans. (This is technically what you asked for but also not. I just couldn't help myself with the chaotic batfam scenario sorry if this isn't what you were expecting!"

Word Count: 2,132

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Life is complicated, especially since people are so bizarre. They have the capability for good and, unfortunately, for evil. And evil tended to rein from what you had seen in life.

It was part of the reason why you decided to become a vigilante of sorts. Part of the reason why you went out in the middle of the night and fought for justice for those who couldn't fight back.

Batman and the rest of the bats wouldn't do what it takes to keep the people of Gotham safe. The vulnerable people of Gotham, the working girls, boys and in-betweens... the people who don't follow the social norms with gender and career.

You chose to help others in a way that the bats couldn't. Killing of course wasn't something you did, that would defeat your purpose. These people- how could you even call them people? These scum, needed to be taught a lesson. And you would make sure it got through, even if it meant you ended up with some bruises and broken bones as well.

This, of course, put you on the big bat's bad side. He didn't see you as an enemy, but he certainly didn't like your actions. However, this did not apply to all of the bats.

"You're late." He sighed.

Rolling your eyes, you tilted your head back. Shrugging you smiled at him lazily.

“You see I would have been on time, but I was kinda keen on not dying.”

He turned to you and a wicked smile slid onto your face. Even with his mask on you could see his seething glare. Rolling off of the heating unit, you flipped to land on your feet before walking towards him.

"Come on Red, can't you take a joke?"

Red Robin did not reply, and you sighed. Maybe you should have tried to take this more seriously. After all he wanted you to officially meet the rest of the bats.

"Alright," You began, "I'm sorry."

Red Robin sighed; eyes narrowed as he looked you over before shaking his head.

"Are you insane?"

Instantly speaking before he could continue, "Most likely?"

He laughed slightly and you bounced a bit before speaking once again, “Hmmm, what if-”

“Oh no, don’t you start that sentence, don’t you dare make that face."

Hopping closer to him you leaned in and opened you mouth to say something, noting the slowly appearing smile on his face. Before opening your mouth, however you took a breath in, and words spilled from you.

"Damn, you smell nice."

He paused for a moment, and you met his gaze before smiling at him and leaning in even more. It hadn't been long since your friendship had officially morphed into something more and every little since of affection seemed to make Red Robin- Tim, it made him nervous.

“I honestly," You began looking at him a mischievous smile on your face, "don’t think there’s anyone I ever loved as much as I love you.”

He took a step back and you looked at him raising an eyebrow.

"Is something wrong Red? You want me to meet them because we're together, right?"

He didn't reply, in fact he looked away from you and you paused. All jokes aside you did love him. You did care about what he said and how he felt. It hurt a bit, him ignoring your question.

"Or" You began letting your mind speak before you thought it through, "do you want to know how they seem me before you decided how you feel?"

He paused again and you sighed, you knew he didn't always know what to say to your antics and fears.

"Please tell me that I'm wrong, Red. I-i want you to reassure me. Say things- things like... I love every damned piece of you no matter what anyone else says.”

He finally looked to you and nodded slowly. Clearing his throat, he took a step towards you, and you smiled.

"I do, I do. I'm- I'm just-"

"Nervous?" You asked watching as his hands fluttered and his body twitched.

"Yeah."

Moving so there was no space between you, you leaned against him.

"It's okay, I get it. If things don't go well, you can just say it's your rebellious phase."

Tim laughed and you smiled at him, grabbing onto his arm you began pulling him across the roof top.

"Come on lover boy, we've got somewhere we need to be."

It did not take long for the two of you to arrive at the vast estate of the Wayne family. Nor did it take long for you to reach the front door. Opening it, that was another matter though. Voices seemed to blast from within and you had to bite your lip to keep your composure.

"Go on, keep calling me names, see what happens!" A voice yelled.

"As if you can do anything Thomas!" A younger voice replied, and you almost turned to Tim who sighed before yanking on the doorknob.

You peeked your head into the manor to see dimly lit rooms and straight ahead a tv screen blazing. Wandering in you found two boys sprawled across the couch just in front of the tv.

“Get the fuck off of my car.” The young Wayne boy, Damian remarked.

A controller pinned in his hands as he glared at another boy.

“Say please.” The other remarked and you recalled his name, Duke.

Damian glared before seething, “Please get your fucking ass off of my fucking car.”

“That’s not very nice.”

Throwing the controller down, Damian shook his head scowling, “I’m done.”

"Where on earth did Robin hear that language?" You snorted.

"Jason probably," Tim sighed.

There was silence before a voice shouted in reply sending you into a pearl of giggles.

"You're one to talk pretender!"

Tim rolled his eyes as he gestured to the boys in front of the two of you.

"These are some of my family members. Duke is a daylighter so you probably haven't seen much of him, and you already know that Damian is Robin."

Duke looked up before blinking a few times, you smiled and waved, and Duke's face went blank as he waved back. Damian raised his head for a second spotting you and scoffing.

"Hello, L/N. Still wasting your time with Drake I see."

Tim's hands were on your make moving you towards the kitchen as your jaw dropped at Damian's comment. Clearly, he did not want to deal with his younger sibling today.

Tim pushed the kitchen door open and sitting on the counter a carton settled in her lap was an unfamiliar girl. She blinked before smiling upon noticing the two of you.

'Hi' She signed, and you tilted your head.

"This is Cass, you probably know her as Black Bat though."

Your eyes nearly popped out of your head as you looked to Tim your jaw dropping. Her? Black Bat? Wow. You had been dying to meet her.

"Wow," You breathed out stepping forwards, "Uh Hi! I'm Y/n. Woah, yeah uhm sorry. I've just heard a lot about you and- and I'm a big fan."

Cass blinked; her pale cheeks being tinted with the slightest pink as she tucked her hair behind her ear hiding part of it from view. Suddenly, she quickly began signing and you shook your head trying to keep up but being unable to.

"Huh, yeah. You're right Cass. I should show them the cave." Tim muttered, he then looked to you and weakly smiled, "Do you want to see the bat cave?"

You nodded rapidly. While you wanted to stay and talk with Cass, you doubted you'd be able to keep up an actual conversation and you really didn't want her to feel uncomfortable.

"Alright, this way. And just down the stairs."

“IS THAT A KITTY!” Spoiler's voice echoed through the comms.

“Be quiet," Batwing hissed "we are supposed to observe and report!”

“But the kitty…”

A sense of surprise raced over you. You really didn't expect to hear things like that. You were almost certain that patrols were serious and yet, here was Spoiler surprising you. Continuing your descent, you made it to the bottom of the stairs to find an unmasked Batman at the computer with a civilian Red Hood behind him waving his hands.

"Shock me." Bat- no Bruce sighed.

"I would but I'm afraid it'd kill you, old man." Red Hood snorted.

You laughed and he turned to you before laughing as well, “And here I was thinking you were dead.”

“As if death could be so lucky to be blessed with my presence.”

Bruce ignored the two of you, eyes locked on the screen and Red Hood- no Jason, looked at you.

“Heroes die young anyways, might as well live as a villain.” He said reaching his fist out, "right?"

"If anyone's like a villain between the two of you it's gotta be Y/N." Bruce mumbled.

"What? Why? I was a drug lord and killed tons of people." Jason questioned his nosed scrunched up in confusion.

"They castrated a man in broad daylight," Was Oracle's calm response that echoed through the cave cleaving it into silence. A smile nearly jumped onto Jason's face as he turned to you.

"Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No," Tim sighed, "not in the slightest.”

"You castrated a man?"

Heat flushed your cheeks, and you waved your hands spitting out a defense, "He was using his dick for bad things! He deserved it."

"It was more than one, and you are now wanted." Bruce Wayne sighed rubbing his temples.

Your reply was instant, “You know it’s very nice to be wanted.”

“NOT BY THE FUCKING FBI DAMN IT!” Tim bellowed turning towards you his eyes wide.

A sheepish grin was on your face as you batted your eyes at him, and Tim let out a groan. Shaking his head, he gestured towards the stairs.

"I think we're done with the Batcave."

You sighed before scowling and moving towards the stairs. However, before you could even raise your foot to the first step you heard Bruce Wayne's booming voice.

"It was nice to meet you Y/N. I hope you keep making Tim happy."

Looking over your shoulder you smiled brightly, meeting the bat's face before nodding.

"Oh, trust me. I will."

Jason burst into a fit of laughter and Tim suddenly was pushing against your back and forcing you up the stairs. You had just made it into the hall when, yet another bat began coming your way.

“You, my friend, are going down a very dark path.” Harper remarked a phone tucked into the crook of her neck.

“Well, the light is broken.” You heard someone reply and you sighed.

Harper turned to look at you before her eyes lit up, "Gotta go, I'll see you later."

She then abruptly hung up before spinning towards you and Tim. She pointed at you and then at Tim her eyebrows raised. Shaking her head, she smiled brightly.

"FINALLY! Someone who gets me!” Harper exclaimed.

Tim looked to her an eyebrow raised, “They literally just breathed.”

“It was a sigh and fuck you.”

"She is my favorite sister.” You snorted.

Harper looked at you confused, “I’m not even your sister.”

You smiled before turning towards Tim, “Not yet.”

A delighted look appeared on Harper's face as she looked you over before turning towards Tim.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well-" You began a wicked grin on your face.

Tim grabbed your arm and began pulling you towards the door, "I think that's enough for tonight. Bye Harper!"

Harper giggled in reply and Tim continued pulling you towards the door. Only to be stopped by a request from Alfred Pennyworth.

"I do hope that you will bring Mx Y/N for Sunday dinner Master Timothy. It will be a far better setting for them to get acquainted with everyone."

Tim sighed, his head hanging as you held back a laugh. He nodded and half turned towards Alfred with his hand weakly waving.

"Of course."

"Goodbye Alfred!" You shouted causing the butler to turn towards you a small smile on his face.

"Farewell Mx Y/N. I do hope you have an enjoyable rest of your evening!"

You continued to wave as Tim pulled you out the door. Finally, the door closed, and Tim let out a haggard sigh.

"So," You began causing him to look at you, "Sunday dinner? I'm pretty sure I didn't get to meet everyone after all."

Tim closed his eyes before pressing his hand to his face, "Damn it."

Another giggle escaped you and you grabbed onto his arm patting it slightly before shaking your head a smile stretched across your face.

"Damn it!" He said again and you laughed.

Tag List:

@andromedaj2003 @daemonnix96 @zvtanna @masset-fotia @thomasbeloved @sskai @krswrites

[loquaciousquark]

So I stayed up ungodly late last night playing through the Cazador quest/conclusion (?) of the Astarion romance and I have a lot of thoughts!

Overall, I LOVED it. Absolutely loved it. I love how much he has to say about the mansion, I love the design and weirdly oppressive layout of the space, the sinister door, the annoying button/attic puzzle, his relationship with Go...dey? The bone man! When I saw that room was called the kennel I literally said "oh no" out loud.

The one thing I'm mad at myself about is that I didn't understand how to actually get into the stupid palace to start the quest! I couldn't get up that dirt incline right next to the map marker so I thought I had to get into the upper city via Baldur's Gate on the left--that the palace was in the next area altogether--so I've been dithering about with murderers and Lae'zel getting kidnapped (D:! she's safe now though) and hag children and a million other things WHEN I COULD HAVE BEEN KILLING CAZADOR THIS WHOLE TIME. Harrumph.

Anyway, once I actually made it into the darned palace, I didn't have any trouble at all with the fights until I got to Cazador himself. I did think the ritual skull on the pillow was a nice touch, and I loved the confrontation with Sebastian in the cell, just in case the PC has any doubt left about how sane/human these spawn still are. Seven thousand souls! That's so many!! Seven is a lot, but seven thousand, yikes! There was also one room with some levers at the end of the tedious attic puzzle that appeared to have no purpose; I guess it was unfinished from the design stage, as dozens of Reddit threads/forum posts all agree there's no clear puzzle solution or interactable element. Really, the first design misstep I've seen from the game, and even that was pretty minor!

Then came the confrontation with Cazador, and for all I didn't even get touched in the werewolf fight earlier this fight WRECKED me. I didn't understand the mechanic and got everyone sacrificed for the ritual the first time (was focusing on the adds first), and then the second time I checked the journal and it said "Help Astarion" and so I wasted two turns getting to him only to discover they meant "help Astarion by killing Cazador," not "free Astarion with the Help action" because that sure didn't work, so he got sacrificed again! Then the third time I focused Cazador better until he Called Lightning on Shadowheart and Karlach and killed them both, and then I finally scraped it out on the fourth try. A really, really tough fight! If I didn't have the six summoned ghouls from the Thay book I don't know if I could have done it with this party.

The choices available afterwards are FASCINATING. I played through them all again, and I loved that in every version he absolutely butchers that vamp with as much violent stabbing as I've seen in a video game. And that little flip of the knife to the reverse grip! So deft! He's a rogue! It's like there's thought and care behind these animations!! Incredible! The choices where you don't help him are absolutely awful--the enraged venom in "I'd say good luck out there, but honestly, I hope you die screaming"--and the flat "Your companion has permanently left the party" made my stomach clench. The version where you help him ascend is also horrifying; are there many other quests where both companions are like, "this is a HORRIBLE IDEA, don't do this!!"? And afterwards Karlach said something about "all those souls..." and she looked like she was about to cry, which was the second worst thing in the world aside from the time I had to break up with her because I didn't realize we were dating. Everything is red and evil and we get nice close-up views of the spawn in agony and bursting and then Astarion's eyes glow red as sin forever. I did really like the explicit confirmation that the infected can use the parasites to see out of each other's eyes; that's given me a couple fic ideas already!

I will say the scene of him crying & screaming was unspeakably cathartic and I was yelling at the screen to let me hug him. YELLING. Thank God I live alone! Again, the tenor differences between this scene in the "insight/persuade him to be better than Cazador" track vs. the "flatly deny to help him" track were shocking. I can't believe how different the exact same animation set felt between the two versions! Unbearable relief & grief vs. total impotent despair--no wonder he tries to kill you in a few of the bad endings (on top of deciding on his own to snap the staff & trap the spawn forever).

Regardless, once the ritual was disrupted and the spawn were saved and freed and Cazador was a lolling pincushion, I couldn't figure out how to trigger the follow-up scene I KNEW had to be there, even though I'd already done Shadowheart's personal quest & should have known I needed to long-rest, lmao. I wandered around like a dope for several minutes before finally triggering it.

I really, really liked this romance scene a lot. I liked that there isn't even an option to break up at this point; just like ME3, the romance is locked in and you can just play around inside that structure, which I thought was fantastic! I am sad that it opened with what I expected, which is him resigning himself to eventually being trapped in the darkness & never seeing sunlight again, and the fact that the game let you pick "maybe we'll figure something out with the tadpoles" only for Astarion to express doubt does make me worried for long-term outcomes. My favorite options once you get to the graveyard were to just stay back and let him talk, but I'm honestly really delighted that we got this scene of pretty significant emotional closure for him, and I loved the animation of him carving the year into the headstone. It seemed so immersive & real that even though we can't read the text, we know exactly what he did.

The only incredibly, incredibly, INCREDIBLY minor things I didn't adore about this scene are that first, when he tells you he loves you, his head animation is weirdly still/frozen the whole time on that set of lines despite his expression changing, and it honestly broke my immersion a little bit. The ambient movements of the characters have been so realistic for so many dozens of hours that to have this seriously critical and important moment for the character be almost rigid, especially against a completely silent music-less background, made it stick out as an "oh yeah, this is a video game" reminder. Bummer!

The other thing is that it's icky to have sex in a graveyard, lmao. Tavish doesn't really care because it's just dirt under them--he's literally standing in front of her, so as far as she's concerned it's not that different from the forest--but I did grimace a little. Someone give these dingdongs a bed! or at least a roof!

Anyway! A fantastic romance and super strong writing/consistent characterization throughout, and I'm pumped to see where it's going to go next. I'm still so curious about how the tadpole outcomes will affect things and faintly hoping for a deus ex machina to keep him in the sun, though I suppose that's what fic's for. Regardless, full sign-off on an utterly satisfying romance; so many little things dropped throughout were EXACTLY what I wanted--you can even accuse him of sincerity in the graveyard scene, which is precisely the arc I was hoping he'd have! He didn't even like you in the beginning and now we're smooching next to a bunch of dead people. What isn't romantic about that?

10/10 Larian, thanks for making me a mess for another white-haired grump.

[hobunaga]

Wow!!!! I finally watched all of Blood of Youth live action!

I'd rate it a 8/10. I felt like some scenes were so drawn out, the villain was pretty dumb but hey, his outfit was always on point. Diss Xiao Yu all you want but you can never diss his outfit.

I like that Sikong Qianluo and Xiao Se's relationship is much more revealed in the live-action than in the donghua. My God Sikong Qianluo is so under appreciated there by Xiao Se... but Live Action is still a really subtle kind of romance and I still saw them as friends at the end.

Lei Wujie and Ye Ruoyi have a decent relationship in both the donghua and live action and I think they're cute together.

Tang Lian and Fairy Rui deserved better.

Consort Xuan got that Gucci pussy grip I swear. She able to sway men and I applaud her for that.

Xiao Chong weirdly ended up as my favorite in the end and I hope he gets to kiss his attendant everyday.

Hua Jin precious baby.

Wushuang, I thought he was kinda annoying until the Mu Yumo scene. He a good boy.

Li Fansong and his martial brother deserves the world.

Su Muyu, perfect. Wasn't that prevalent in the live-action compared to the Donghua but my God he served cunt every scene. His actor was not playing around, he said he gonna put his whole pussy into each entrance. Served, ate, devoured.

Mu Yumo, idk her motherly instincts kicked in when she talked to Wushuang and it was so nice to see. Mother is mothering.

The most attractive I think in the series is Luo Mingyan's master. I forgot her name but I ship her with Li Hanyi... and for guys it's uhhh..... Lei Yunhe or maybe Wushuangs shixiong whatever that guy's name is. His actor has perfect bone structure wtf.

The Eunuchs' internal affairs was the most invested I was in the political drama. These ball-less men were single handedly moving the entire plot, it was so funny. The pearls I was clutching when the 3 princess came to proposition him to giving up the list and Xiao Se showed up. gasssspppppppppppppp.

Anyways. Good show!!!! I finally finished it.

[nicnacsnonsense]

Okay so. BtVS s7. It’s bad, but not unsalvageable I don’t think. We’re going going to have to tear it down to the studs, but there’s some good bones here.

Firstly, I do like the threat of trying to end the Slayer line. It’s unique in terms of threats but it’s also easy to understand and clear to see how it would be a very bad thing. Plus it allows us to dig more into the lore of the Slayer more which is nice in the last season. Mixed feelings on the scythe, but I suspect if they fixed the pacing so the storyline around the scythe were spread out and not jammed into the last 3 episodes, I would like it better (and if they got a better prop). I’m also overall a fan of the Slayer activation spell at the end with the very important caveat that the spell should give every Potential the right to choose if she wants to accept the powers or not. Having it go from “one girl in all the world” and “is chosen” to many girls who get to chose is actually a fairly cogent feminist critique of the show itself, which would also be fun in the final season.

I also like that we’re opening the Hellmouth for the end here. Bringing it back to where it all began. And destroying the Hellmouth and the whole town is an incredible way to be like I swear to god you guys, we are done done for real this time. Just obviously we can’t have this done via a magic necklace that Angel randomly turns up to hand over to Buffy with zero set up and minimal explanation in the very last fucking episode. Staggeringly awful writing.

And related to both the above points, I think it needs to be made a little clearer how they connect. Specifically that destroying the Slayer line and opening the Hellmouth are the two prongs of the First’s plan to flood the world with evil. The explanation is there but it could be clearer.

Speaking of the First. I think this is an unpopular opinion, but I like it as a villain, in theory at least. Admittedly the it’s the original evil or whatever thing is kind of cheesy, but it already existed as a character in the series anyway, so might as well bring it back. But the actual threat the First poses and the things it can do make for an excellent villain. I mean it’s incorporeal! How is Buffy supposed to beat an enemy that’s incorporeal? But instead of treating this like an amazing opportunity, the writers apparently saw this as a problem to be solved by inserting a minion who can punch & kick harder than anyone Buffy has ever fought before — the Turok-Han — and then when they were afraid that was getting stale adding another minion who can punch and kick even harder — Caleb.

The Turok-Han in the Hellmouth can stay; we do need a big action set piece for the finale. Which also means Buffy can still have her vision of them and Giles can still explain that they are super old and extra strong vampires. But the one Buffy has that big confrontation with as well as any other ones running around Sunnydale all need to go. Firstly as already alluded to they time away from the First and the unique threat it poses in favor of more of the “this guy is even stronger” stuff that is starting to get really stale by now. And then also if our only experience and knowledge of Turok-Han is that they are extra strong vampires then that’s enough of a framework for us to understand this huge army is definitely a threat, but it’s also vague enough that it’ll still feel reasonably plausible in the finale when our protagonists start taking them out left and right.

Caleb I waffled on but ultimately I think you need to keep some version of him if for no other reason than it’s a useful storytelling device for the First to have a minion it can have conversations with. You know, they can have scenes where the two of them are discussing the progress of the evil plan so the writers have an excuse to tell the audience what the evil plan is. But obviously don’t wait until episode 18 to introduce him. Have him pop up in the beginning as a random recurring side character only to have a reveal midway through that he’s evil. If Robin is meant to be a suspicious red herring, let’s have Caleb be what he’s distracting the audience from. I’m kind of ambivalent as to whether Caleb should be super strong or not — I just don’t have a clear enough picture of how the plot looks to know if that’s necessary or helpful — but if he is going to be strong then we should see the First power him up before we see how strong he is. We want to make sure any focus on him is as a tool of the First, not an independent threat.

And now on to the First itself. The biggest problem is it’s all tell and very little show. The characters can talk about how they can sense something big coming and about the overwhelming feeling of ancient power coming off the First, but that means very little to me, the viewer. I can’t feel the power while I’m watching this on my couch. The idea that the First is even more powerful than Glory was always going to be a hard sell, because conceptually I don’t really even know what that means, that it’s even more powerful than a god. So stop trying to sell me on that and instead focus on the First’s strengths. Let the theme of s7 be paranoia.

The First can appear as any dead person it wants. But not just appear as them, it in some respects becomes them, perfect recreation of the mannerisms, their speech patterns, every little quirk about them. It’s the First, but it’s also your loved one. How much of what it says is lies to manipulate you and how much is really what your loved one would think and feel?

And that’s just the people you know are dead. Any random stranger you meet could be the First, disguised as a dead person you’ve never met. And then there’s the people that you know, the ones you know for a fact are alive. But do you? Do you really know that for sure? When’s the last time you touched them? Do you know for a fact that they’ve never had a brief near-death experience? Maybe they also received a timely bout of CPR.

So maybe you touch them. There, proof positive they aren’t the First. But how do you know the First isn’t in the room talking to them right now? Maybe they’re more convinced by the First in their loved one’s form.

Or maybe they have a trigger. Spike has a trigger, who’s to say he’s the only one? And yeah sometimes he turns feral when it’s used, but sometimes he acts perfectly normal right up until he sinks his fangs into your throat. How do you know that whoever you’re talking to doesn’t have a trigger? How do you know that you don’t?

And then there’s the Hellmouth. The end of the season has this whole thing where apparently the Hellmouth is giving off this crazy energy, making everyone flee town. What if that was a slow build across the season? Start off small and innocuous, Dawn mentions need to make new friends because Janice’s family moved away and Buffy is pouting about her favorite shop closing. But then it builds, more and more people leaving. Buffy walks down Main Street and half the shops are boarded up. People stop moving away in favor of just picking up and leaving in the middle of the night. We see Buffy walking down through the school for the last day of work and the halls are practically abandoned. By the time we get to the end of the season, the entire town being empty just feels like the natural conclusion that we’ve been building to all this time.

And it’s not just people leaving, we also see the Hellmouth heighten anger and aggressive urges. So again maybe in the first episode again it’s just a casual mention from Xander about how one of his guys, nicest guy you’ve ever met, totally snapped at work that day. But you know he’s been under a lot of stress at home, Xander gave him the day off to relax a little, he’ll be fine. Except again, it just gets worse and worse until you’re hoping that stranger you pass is the First because at least it can’t attack you.

And so maybe Willow has to cast a protection spell around the house. As long as you’re inside you’re safe. But the second you step out that door, that Hellmouth energy starts seeping in. Slowly, there’s time to run out for errands if you need to. But be careful. The longer you’re out there the more and more seeps into you. And who knows who you’ll run into. Better to stay all of you crammed on top of each other in this little house. Better stay inside where it’s safe.

[roboticspacecase]

Writing prompt: BillDip smut or if you don't wanna write smut, just their first date

I'm ngl I got lost in the sauce here lmao I thought about how Bill would be the type to bone on the first date, then I thought about how Bill would NEED to bone on the first date because he's an incubus. He's the type that can tell exactly what gets someone going and absolutely uses it on Dipper lol that being said, Dipper doesn't know what Bill is, but he's into it either way.

"You sure we're not bothering your roommate?" Dipper hummed, digging his hand into the bag of chips next to him on the bed. Meeting up with someone he met off of a dating app didn't give him the highest of hopes for the date to go well, but Bill had been nice and provided all the snacks Dipper said he liked.

"Eh, he's fine," the blond snorted. "Can't count the number of times that guy has brought home girls and made a lot of noise. Mostly from the girls shouting at him after they find out he's not seeing just them."

Dipper nodded, shoving the handful of chips into his mouth. He had stopped caring a long time ago if he was doing flattering things on dates. At that point in his life, if someone couldn't handle seeing the way he snacked on things, then they probably weren't for him anyway.

"I just figured the movie was a bit loud, and we've been talking on top of it. But if you think he's fine with it, then that's fine."

"Oh yeah, he probably got high and passed out with music on." Bill grabbed the remote, pausing the movie. It had been some action thing they threw on, one they weren't even remotely paying attention to. "Which means he wouldn't hear it if we get a lil freaky." He wiggled his eyebrows, leaning back on the headboard.

Dipper turned to look at him, seeing the half-serious smile on his date's face. The date had gone well enough, and Dipper was already sort of planning on fucking him anyway. It had been a while and Bill was hot, so why not? It wasn't like he had any reason not to. Though, he wasn't as experienced in the art of seducing as Bill, so he wasn't sure how to make the next move.

"Well... I wouldn't mind something like that," he mumbled, unable to look Bill in the eyes. "Just so long as you know that it won't bother your roommate."

A hand on Dipper's thigh made him finally look up at Bill.

"That depends on you, Dipper." Bill's voice had lowered a bit, his eyes lidded. "Let's see if you can keep quiet."

Dipper's mouth dried in an instant from the sharp breath he took in. "I-I can try." His voice cracked, though Bill didn't seem to mind, the other continuing to move his hand up Dipper's leg.

"You might not have expected that, but you can expect me to show you a good time." Bill had both of his hands on Dipper's legs in less than a second, yanking him onto his back. His head landed on the end of the bed where the blankets had bunched up.

Bill sat on his knees, looking down at him with a hunger that Dipper was surprised to see. Sure, the possibility of a hook-up had been there since they agreed to meet up, but seeing someone so eager to get into his pants was new. Most guys he saw were more interested in him doing the work. Bill, however, looked ready to tear into him so fast that Dipper wouldn't even have a chance to lift a finger.

"Stop me at any time if you don't like something." Bill dropped over Dipper, his hands landing on each side of his head. The bed bounced a little with the force, and Dipper could feel his heart leap into his throat. "I doubt you'll want to stop, though."

Just as Dipper thought, Bill gave him no time to react. The blond was undoing his pants and throwing the bottoms onto the floor in a flurry of lust, his own joining not long after. With his lower half exposed, Dipper laid back and accepted the quick pace. Something about getting thrown into fucking so quickly was just as hot as foreplay, which was a concept Dipper had never thought he would have fun with.

The prep Bill did for him wasn't even awkward like it had been with some others. His fingers worked masterfully with the lube that Dipper hadn't even seen come out, and in no time he was left playing catch up with his nerves. The quick stimulation had fried his brain, and the way Bill smiled at him told Dipper that he knew just what he was doing to him.

"Don't worry, you're going to feel this next part."

An abrupt pressure and fullness forced a gasp out of Dipper, his hands flying to the sheets to grab hold of them as if it would help ground him. He looked down, still trying to catch his breath. Bill was all the way in. The other hadn't tried to ease things forward and, much to Dipper's surprise, it didn't sting at all.

He opened his mouth to say something—what it was, he didn't know—but closed it immediately when Bill pulled his hips back then snapped them forward again. Every thought and feeling scattered from Dipper's mind like a bag of marbles on tiles.

How was someone big enough to make him feel impossibly full not hurting him with such a quick pace? Was Bill's eagerness turning him on enough to make him not care? Dipper didn't know anymore. All he knew was that Bill's quick and brutal pace sent his head into the clouds.

He grabbed Dipper's hips to angle them just right and pulled him closer, leaning far enough forward to kiss his throat. It was then that Dipper noticed his mouth was open, and he was definitely being too loud for Bill's roommate. But his date wasn't stopping. Bill only made things worse by biting and sucking on his neck, no doubt leaving marks he would have to hide before seeing any friends or family.

"F-fuck!" Dipper tilted his head back, giving Bill full access to his neck, not caring if he had to wear a turtle-neck for a few days. He could've sworn he heard the other chuckle at him, but he didn't care. All he knew was that Bill could fuck like no one he had ever been with before, and he would be coming back as often as the other would let him.

"Are you going to cum for me?" Bill growled in his ear. "C'mon, be a good boy and cum for me."

That was new. Dipper had never had someone call him that before. He thought about trying it out once but decided it was a bit too corny for him. He had been wrong, though. Bill calling him a good boy had Dipper falling from the clouds and crash-landing into reality, his body shaking from how quickly his orgasm rocked through him.

Even though Dipper probably looked and sounded like he had just been through a hurricane, Bill didn't stop thrusting into him. He didn't have the energy to say that he needed a minute to rest, though it didn't seem like Bill was far behind, so he figured he'd let his date keep at the rough pace to finish as well.

"You're so fucking hot," Bill grunted. "Next time I fuck you, I'm going to record it so I can jerk off to the way your eyes roll back in your head."

That was yet another thing Dipper didn't think he would like, and yet when Bill said it in that gruff, assertive voice, he was weak to the idea. He wanted Bill to do whatever he wanted, so long as there actually was a next time.

"You're not leaving this bed until you cum again, by the way."

Dipper's unfocused eyes widened and looked at Bill for the first time since they started. Again? There was no way.

Except, apparently, with Bill there was.

In the blink of an eye, Bill flipped Dipper over and dragged his hips up just high enough for him to start fucking him again. The new angle kept Dipper's face mashed against the blankets, and since Bill couldn't get to his neck like that, he started to bite and leave hickeys on his shoulders.

Overstimulated, Dipper could only let his body go lax and enjoy being pinned to the mattress.

"There we go, just let me take care of you. That's a good boy."

That damn phrase again sent a jolt right down to Dipper's dick. Getting hard again so soon just from being called good would be something he'd have to look into later, because he had been sure he wouldn't like such a thing.

"One more time for me, okay? I'm going to cum inside of you, so just take it and cum with me." Bill sat up and grabbed Dipper by the shoulder, his last burst of thrusts being his hardest yet.

Dipper couldn't stop himself from making yet another mess, a whimper leaving him as the shivers of his orgasm left his limbs useless.

Bill had Dipper's hips held flush against his, his cock twitching and making his own mess of Dipper's insides. "Fuck, you're so good. Took me like a champ," he huffed, slowly pulling out. "Most people tap out before the second round. I guess I just found your sweet spot."

All Dipper could muster as a response was a hum. His body sat like a brick on the bed, and he couldn't pull himself to look at the other.

"Don't worry, I've got you," he said in a softer voice. "You can take all the time you need to rest. I'll get things cleaned up and then get you some water."

Another hum came from Dipper, and even though he could barely feel his legs and his back was starting to realize just how rough he had been handled, he felt amazing. Bill had rocked his world and was even taking the time to care for him afterward.

The blond disappeared for a while, then came back, helping Dipper sit up so that he could drink the water.

"Thanks," Dipper said softly.

"Of course. I'm not going to use you like some sex doll and then leave you to clean up after. I'm a slut, not an asshole."

They both laughed, and Dipper took his time to sip at the water, gripping the bottle a little tighter than he meant to.

"So... When you mentioned next time..." He looked over at Bill, watching the other pickup the sheets that got messy from their romp.

Bill snorted. "When I said next time, I meant it. So long as you want to come over, my bed is open to you."

Dipper couldn't hide his bashful smile, even while taking a drink. "I don't feel like I did much, but I'm glad you had a good time as well."

"Oh, I had an excellent time." Bill dropped the blanket into the hamper by his door, then looked at Dipper with lidded eyes again. "You were a four-course meal, and I plan to dine on you again. And to actually, like, dine with you. We're going to go on a real date next time, if that's alright?"

The assertive tone mixed with the slight stumbling of words was cute, which wasn't a word Dipper thought he would use to describe someone like Bill. It only made him that much more eager to say yes, his head nodding before he had even made his mind up fully.

"Good, I'm glad. I look forward to taking my time with you." He walked back over to the bed, sitting as close as he could to Dipper. "Though, the night is young, who knows. Maybe we'll go at it again before then."

How someone could be so insatiable, Dipper didn't know. But it wasn't like he was going to turn Bill down. Even if he ended up staying the night and having to sit with a heating pad on his back for a few days with a cloudy head, he knew it would be worth it.

[cheshire-castle-library]

November 28, 2023 | A Darker Shade of Magic - 001

I decided to do this anyway, and maybe its cringe or annoying, but I'm still excited about this book even a few exhausting Uni days later. I'm also hoping to like.... prevent myself from falling off of reading by giving myself some interaction to do with it?? This is very much going to be a Spoiler-filled series of posts (assuming I keep up with this), so please be warned. I'm probably going to use Keep Reading cuts and tags so I'm not super annoying with this.

I made it through the first true chapter, and I'm honestly really excited I picked up this book. I recognized the author's name from Bookblr posts about Viscious, but I have that in audiobook form and I already knew I was going to be spending too much at the Barns and Noble that night, so I didn't pick it up. Instead I was really drawn in by the blurb on A Darker Shade of Magic, so I took the chance on it and it proceeded to sit, egging me on, in the corner of my consciousness for the next few days. I'd even started reading something else I bought that day! But something about the vaguely Vash the Stampede figure on the front (and His association with the last book I got brainworms reading) and the idea of a setting of not only one period London, but many, and I could no longer hold myself back. Its Finals, what's better than starting a new obsession? ...

Something odd that I didn't really notice until I got to the page with the big roman numeral 2 on it is that the chapters are broken into sub-chapters like some light novels I've read; I've never seen that in a western novel before, but I also maybe don't read a lot of non-textbooks these days so who knows if that's more common than I imagine. But structurally, it makes the transitions of scenes nice and clean, so its maybe something I'd like to play with in my own writing. I've been really enjoying how Schwab doesn't explain every little detail, but still gives us enough of whats important. The way Kell uses his magic, the way Kell takes care of his appearance, the colour and act of drawing blood - but not so much the transitionary actions when they aren't characterizing or important. When he was leaving the bridge, in 1-3 for instance, we got Kell's little flex of wrist to still the stream and make it reflective, and Schwab spent the time to explain relaxing the wrist when voices carried from other parts of the park; but we didn't get a, "and Kell stood, before walking off the bridge". Instead it was just a "Kell continued on his way". It honestly answers some questions I've had with my own writing, that I've been brunting up against with my NaNo novel this month. How much do I need to explain for the audience to see the motions? I think my difficulty with imagined pictures makes me assume you need a lot more detail to conjure up a scene than is really necessary. I'm also thoroughly enjoying Kell's character. There's a certain stylishness that's innate with the coat of many coats, that honestly resonates with me via my favorite tabletop OC I play. Also a kind of snarky, cocky, stylish, magic-user; I'd like to imagine what chaos Ashton and Kell might get up to if left in a room together. Though the discussions of the rules of Magic would be very interesting, because the Blood of Heroes Sorcery power is much more the Halloween Town "Want something and then let yourself have it", while the magic system of the Many London's seems more structured so far. Though there's this hint in Kell's relationship to magic, that it might not be so different. Something that's interesting to me about it is that the "elemental magics" are less will and word and more just the will part; but the magic described as "true magic" has a language associated. Something feels logically backwards to me about that - implying that the "elements" (which includes Bones) are less natural than the true magic. But then again, the True Magic is life itself, so maybe it makes sense that life is the underlying true magic. But why is the true magic tied to something of human construction - language - while the others are controlled in a more intuitive way?

I'm really excited to learn more!

[spookyserenades]

Hey girl!!!! I'm back again after what feels like ages! But I was on my "thirsting on f1 drivers" phase and couldn't read anything else for a couple of months. Anyways. I just binged read the last 3 chapters and WTF was that smut? I'm so loving how Y/N is dirtyyyy. I was as shocked as Yoongi.

Ghostbusters trio is the best thing ever, Namjoon opening up and bratty Jungkook (I see what you are doing there). But it made me crazy that they didn't seem to care about the new couple, Tae was the only one to meet my expectations.

Alice is a genious, if I was ever jealous of her with Hoseok, I don't remember. And I was just expecting her plan come into action after the last smut. I was fully believing that someone would arrive accidently when they were finishing and hear everything!!!

I'm not even mad at the cliffhanger this time. I went through so many emotions while reading this last chapters, that Seokjin's confession would be too much right now.

Lastly, if you were ever in doubt about writing smut, it was totally pointless cause you rocked. Talented, that's what you are! Love you and can't wait for the next chapter. (I'm gonna update myself now reading the asks you answered while I was gone)

HIII OMG I've missed you!!! 🥺 ooo I do NOT blame you for the f1 drivers thing 😉

HA I've unleashed my inner freak with the smut!! I know many readers have been waiting quite some time for the steamy scenes, so I didn't wanna disappoint LMAO 💀 I also love how dirty Y/N is, you can tell she's been waiting to jump Yoongi's bones jkdsafj

I love our ghostbusters!! I'm seriously so pumped to keep writing about all of their adventures. I think that over time with their investigations, it will give Namjoon and Jeongguk the opportunity to grow closer to Y/N, as they are some of the more distant hybrids. HA bratty Jeongguk... I love him, I can't wait to see him get all tender in the future. And finally, we get some background on our mysterious Namjoon 🥺 Those two are more concerned with their own hobbies than romance at the moment, which is why I think they were so nonchalant about her and Yoongi. Although, Namjoon may be harboring some secret wolfish jealousy. We'll see!

Alice is the friend we all need! While she flirted with Hoseok in the beginning, I highly doubt she'll do it any more because Y/N disclosed her feelings for all of the boys. Can you imagine how awkward it would have been if they were caught while Yoongi was balls-deep 💀 Of course, it's going to be unavoidable in the future that the others will be around while she's intimate with one in particular. I guess we'll cross that bridge when we get to it LOL 💀

Classic Dana cliffhanger! This time, though, I think it was necessary, like you said. The next chapter will open up with that scene, picking right up where we left off, so that's something to look forward to-- romance and feelings and our sweet Seokjin 🥺💕

dkaslfs THANK YOU for the compliment about the smut writing 💜💜 I was initially nervous about writing it (I've done it before, but not as descriptive or drawn out) so I'm really happy you liked it 💕 Definitely more where that came from!

Love to you and I'm so 🥺 to hear from you again! Hope you have a nice rest of your March and we'll meet again in April 💜

[bylightofdawn]

Fic snippet

I am enjoying putting Cody through the emotional wringer so much in this fic. He's struggling with the dichotomy of the person he has in his mind as this cold and vicious traitor versus suddenly remembering he'd actually been an excellent sergeant and an ori'vod to shinies who'd come in greener than hell.

So it's kinda tearing himself into two parts over remembering this and feeling more betrayed by what he'd done but also a sort of reluctant compassion and fear that if he forgives even a little bit, it is a betrayal to the brothers who were hurt or killed by his actions.

I am a slight Slick apologist in that I think he really did believe what he was doing was for the greater good. And that he just wanted to end the war to save as many lives as he could but I also think that's kinda bullshit and he still did betray the people he claims he was trying to protect. Soooooo yeah. He is SUCH a fascinating character, I'm so upset they did literally nothing with him.

Uh context, I headcanon Slick and Dogma ended up in the same prison and Slick kinda reluctantly took him under his wing.

“Can I ask you? About Dogma? What happened to him?”

“What, you suddenly care?” The waspish response was halfway expected.

“Of course, I care. He was a good kid, tortured in a lot of ways but he did what he thought was right to protect his brothers.”

“It’s ironic you’re willing to give him a pass for using the exact same reasons I was giving you all those years ago, but you shut me out and threw me to the wolves.”

“He didn’t get his brothers killed or wounded. He made an impulsive and impossible choice in a terrible situation.”

Slick just scoffed and stalled as long as he could by taking a long and measured sip of his caf.

“I tried my damnedest to hate the little vaar'ika I didn’t want to risk getting close to another brother after everything that happened. But he was so stupid and naïve they were going to eat him alive and spit out the bones. I couldn’t just stand around and let that happen in front of me.” Slick admitted softly. “He didn’t know when to shut his mouth and when to pick his fights.”

There was an unmistakable fondness in the other clone’s voice despite him listing a laundry list of Dogma’s more intolerable traits.

Though he was loath to admit it even in the privacy of his own thoughts, Cody remember how the sergeant had been a good ori’vod to the freshest of shinies. Those so green they hadn’t even earned their battalion paint, and he’d always seemed to find some extra time to help them out, teaching them valuable tactics and information that often got overlooked or glossed over too quickly in training.

How to keep your head on your shoulders when the Seps were raining mortars down on your head. How to keep pushing forward even though your first instinct was to find cover. Or how to throw a droid popper to maximum efficiency. Little things that had helped keep the shinies alive long enough to learn the ropes so they didn’t just become meat for the meat grinder.

He was uncomfortable in remembering how many times he’d simply sat with a group of clearly shell-shocked recruits and talked them down from the precipice.

No, it had been so much easier to forget those parts of the man in favor of the negatives. Even now, the sting of betrayal was a dagger to the heart.

“But you loved him anyway.” Cody finally stated as neutrally as he could.

From the corner of his eye, he could see Slick grimace ever so slightly.

“I did. The little brat grew on me like a fungus I guess. And…it was nice to not be completely alone in there.”

Something akin to guild churned in Cody’s chest. The urge to say ‘I’m sorry’ hung on the tip of his tongue because he understood that sense of isolation now. How foreign and unnerving it was to be surrounded by unfamiliar faces when you’re used to the comfort of having your brothers around you. But he couldn’t bring himself to say that, couldn’t bring himself to forgive the man.

“You keep using past tense. What happened to him, Slick?”

[startreknovels]

Mindshadow by J.M. Dillard

[wackus-bonkus-maximus]

I'm curious how you perceive Luka in the show. I love what you've been doing with Luka in "one does not love breathing", with accentuating personality traits that we've seen evidence of in the show - Luka lying to Marinette about not knowing Ladybug and Chat Noir's identities, and not speaking up in Ephemeral about knowing Chat's identity, even though it was pertinent to Ladybug's plan (I wasn't too happy about that plan, but it's not relevant here), seem like the inspiration for Luka's whole "stay quiet about what I know because if I rock the boat it could cause harm" stance in your fic. The show didn't really make it clear why Luka made those decisions, but through your Luka's actions, I can better see what might have been going through Luka's head in the show.

My own feelings towards Luka have always been... frustrating. He's a nice, kind guy, no doubt, with most of what we saw of him in seasons 2 and 3 were just him being selflessly enamored with Marinette, but without any of the negative feelings that I'd normally expect from anyone who's pining over an unrequited love. I can sort of see why he was popular for that - he's about as unproblematic of a dream boyfriend as you could get - but I just couldn't look at his depictions and reactions in the show and make him into a full person, with his own thoughts, feelings, problems, and complex internal emotional world, especially since he mostly seemed to exist for Marinette. The big standout during that period that helped to develop him further was that 30 second cameo where he interacted with his sister, since it showed his feelings and interactions with someone else he cared about.

I did get a lot more from him in season 4, with him being frustrated and hurt about Marinette vanishing on him all the time, even if he still took it insanely well. I loved seeing that he can have negative feelings for his own sake, not just for Marinette's, and that he has some emotional baggage of his own, with his mom refusing to mention who his dad was. I still have struggled with understanding him at times - like trying to figure out what he was thinking that prompted him to directly lie to Marinette when she asked him whether he knew hers and Chat's identities - but they do show some more complex character traits, even if I'm not completely sure of what they are. Though I like your idea of what character trait prompted him to do that.

Anyway, I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on what makes Luka tick in the show. I don't see many of analyses of him that I agree with - either they're overly negative and ascribe some form of malice or abuse to his actions (which is nonsense, Luka doesn't have a mean bone in his body), or they're overly positive, and put a spin on his actions as being more wholly virtuous than I think is warranted (like the whole "he sacrificed his honesty in Wishmaker because it would freak Marinette out if he answered her question truthfully, he's so selfless, only thinking of what's best for her" thing).

*cracks knuckles* buckle up breathers and breatheren, it's luka analysis time.

to start off, the show doesn't do the greatest job with consistency. sometimes its own characters will be ooc, especially marinette and adrien. in dearest family, she despairs over stealing galette when she's never had an issue with it before, and adrien dates marinette without telling her is identity in cat blanc (something i really don't think is consistent with his character but w/ever). if you see an inconsistency in my analysis of luka, it might be because of the show's flawed depiction of his character.

that being said, i knew the minute luka learned ladybug and chat noir's identities and decided to do NOTHING that he was an enneagram type 9, just like me. way to put me back on my enneagram shit again. I even have him typed as a 9 in my miraculous enneagram post if you're interested in that.

i liked luka fine in the show until wishmaker, when they finally gave him potential. he then became one of my favorite characters because he became interesting. you look at him on the outside and you see a guy who's easy to get along with, understands everyone's points of view, and will lend a listening ear when you need him. these are what make him such a nice person and probably why everyone in the show likes him. i mean, marinette broke up with him after lying to him for quite some time and still didn't tell him anything, and he comforted her with a hug because he could tell she was going through it. after wishmaker, it is very clear he is afraid of rocking any boat he's in because he's actually really afraid of causing conflict. for luka, conflict = separation (exemplified by his parents' relationship), and if he is separated from people he cares about, he will be alone.

luka is someone who is always trying to make connections with people by understanding them. he likes to listen to everyone's "inner melodies," which i think is just lukaspeak for comprehending people in depth and seeing their perspective. i truly think he gets stuck in other people's perspectives rather than his own, as evidenced by how he refused to speak up about ladybug's plan in ephemeral and how he gently guided marinette to adrien by telling her "knowing the whole other side of someone helped me love them more." it's my opinion that luka thinks he's less important than the people he cares about, and so in a sense "goes to sleep" to his own wants, needs, feelings and opinions. this is why he doesn't tell marinette and adrien the truth in the show, and what i expanded on in odnlb; luka really just did not know what to do, and before he knew it six years had gone by, and he didn't know silence could be so dangerous.

a lot of people said they "forgot" about luka in odnlb until chapter 7, when he was facetiming adrien. i actually really really loved that because it was just so LUKA of him to be forgotten. he doesn't think he's important compared to marinette or adrien, and so he talks to them about their issues and ignores his own need for growth/action. luka's sin is sloth, which might sound like the least harmful of all the 7 deadlies but which i think i've shown can be extremely sabotaging to others and to himself. it's also a character trait i've not seen portrayed too often, but whenever i do the characters are really interesting. those of you who don't have this issue will easily think, "all he has to do is SPEAK." well, that's literally the hardest thing for him to do! because if he does, he's going to rock the boat and lose connection, and that's the thing he's afraid of most.

this was a great ask, @flightfoot! i love all your questions but this has been my favorite so far!

[mint-yooxgi]

Hello! Love your work! Could you do a yandere arrogant popstar haechan with interviewer/journalist reader

"Let's just hurry up and get this over with," Haechan sighs, rolling his eyes as he sits across from you.

Blinking at him in surprise, you're quick to brush his comment off. He's probably just really busy and stressed, so you don't hold it against him. You've come prepared anyways, which means this interview shouldn't take more than forty minutes if all goes well. You have better things to do, anyways.

"Alright, starting in two minutes!" Your manager shouts as people scramble to and from preparing last minute things for the interview.

Taking this opportunity, you smile at the man sitting across from you, even if all you receive is a scoff in response. Doing the polite thing, and what proper etiquette deems, you introduce yourself to him.

Again, he rolls his eyes, "yeah, sure. Nice to meet you, or whatever."

You recoil, taken aback by his blunt attitude. "Excuse me?"

"I can see through your little act," he leans backwards in his seat, running his tongue along the inside of his cheek, "you're probably just like every one else. As soon as this interview is done, you'll come on to me, and I'll pretend to be into it for the attention, and it'll make your day cause you'll feel important. Well, newsflash, sweetheart: you're not special, and I'm not interested."

"Thirty seconds, people!" The stage manager directs, and luckily that gives you enough time to pull yourself out of your utter bewilderment.

"Well, I've got some news for you, sweetie," the way you cock your head back at him, condescendingly, has him blinking in shock at you this time, "I couldn't give a shit who you are, nor do I care about you. This is my job, and you are just another client. So check your attitude, cause two can play at the 'nice' game."

"And action!" The manager doesn't even give Haechan time to respond as the cameras start rolling, catching on to his mildly surprised face before he can school himself as they go live.

Immediately, it's like your own persona does a one-eighty, with you suddenly being very chipper and bright in your interviewer process. Haechan's seen a few of your interviews before, but never did he expect your visage to be such an act. At least, to him.

Maybe you're both not so different after all.

Either way, he's sure you're just playing with him, and at the first opportunity you get, you'll want to jump his bones. So, he decides to catch you at your own act.

Only, every time he attempts to flirt with you or be sly, you brush him off, quickly changing to subject or just flat out ignoring him. A few of the camera crew even have to stifle their chuckles at his failed attempts at wooing you, only causing his ears to turn red in embarrassment.

No one's ever been able to resist his charm after he directs it at them before. No one.

As soon as the interview is over, and you've done your due diligence and thanked him for being interviewed, you're entire persona drops. Just as the cameras shut down, the smile is wiped right off of your face, not even bothering to say a final word to him as you hop off your chair and head to your dressing room. You don't even spare him a final glance.

Haechan's mouth hangs open in shock. Were you being serious earlier? There's no fucking way you don't at least find him attractive.

Perhaps after all these years he really has let his ego go straight to his head.

Brushing off his own manager, he follows in the direction you went off into, searching for the correct room that you're in. Now, he's intrigued.

Maybe this is all part of your plan. Fool him into thinking you don't care about him to get him to want you. Whatever it is, it's working, and if he's being honest with himself, Haechan doesn't mind one bit.

Only, when he walks in on you embracing a coworker of yours somewhat intimately, he scowls.

Why does it bother him so much, and why, above all else, does he want that to be him?

[luimnigh]

May! Did pretty well this month. Okay, made no progress in reading the book I was reading, but apart from that I watch quite a bit of stuff.

Five movies, and four partial watches.

Two series, continued my weekly watch from past months, and added two new weekly watches.

And two games polished off.

I spent today babysitting my nephew, so let's just say I'm already getting a good start with June.

Movies:

Face/Off: It had come up on Flickle a few days before, and I ended up on it after scrolling some streaming sites for a while. Been a couple years since I've seen it. Delightfully bonkers.

Rise of the Planet of the Apes: There's some elements of this film that I feel have aged badly already, some elements that are unrealistic now that I know more about the realities of animal testing and care, but the global pandemic in the end hits different now.

Jumanji: The Next Level: Fine enough sequel, I liked it quite well. Nothing spectacular to it.

Casino Royale (2006): I watched this instead of Eurovision. Which means, unlike the rest of Europe, I watched Britain br good at something.

Deadpool 2: Good to catch this one before the sequel arrived. Took me a few years to realise this was an adaptation of the "Deadpool in love with Death" story without making Deadpool want to bone bones. Still think both these writers and the Avengers writers are cowards on that mark.

Rush (Partial): Caught the last hour one night, basically starting with Niki Lauda's crash. Good movie.

Maiden Voyage: Ocean Hijack (Partial): Caught the first hour of this film late one night. Terrible action movie, Die Hard on a Cruise Ship which makes it an inferior Speed 2: Cruise Control.

The Imitation Game (Partial): Parents were watching it. Caught the last half hour. Spent the entire time annoyed with Turing's characterisation.

The Road Dance (Partial): Caught the last hour. Depressing drama set in the Scottish Outer Hebrides during WWI, about the aftermath of a sexual assault. Mark Gatiss is in it.

Series:

Tales of the Empire: Good to see Barriss again, though I certainly didn't wait as long as many others I know.

Cyberpunk Edgerunners: A lovely little tragedy. Very much epitomises the idea of a tragedy where so many things could have happened to change the ending, and yet you know that the ending was always inevitable. Also I've been thinking about playing the game, so this helped give me some understanding of the setting.

Dungeon Meshi (Partial): I feel like this show is gonna need a second season to wrap up. The situation is still only escalating.

Doctor Who (Partial): You know, I haven't watched weekly Doctor Who since Capaldi? I stopped watching after Hell Bent. I really do need to watch the seasons I missed. Anyway, I think Ruby might be Susan.

Jet Lag: The Game: Season 10 (Partial): Yeah, already way better than Hide And Seek.

Games:

Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney: Trials and Tribulations: The final game in the trilogy, and a nice send-off. Some interesting twists and turns, and a nice look into both Mia and Edgeworth's heads. And thankfully, there was no character as annoying as the clown this time.

Saints Row (2022) DLC: Stepping back into Santo Illeso was like stepping back into a comfortable pair of slippers. Problem is, the company that makes those slippers has been shut down, so once those slippers are worn out, I'll never be able to get new slippers. A damn shame.

Looking back, I spent most of last year in a depressive funk. There were some high moments, but after about March I just stopped doing the stuff I enjoy. I didn't read books, I didn't watch movies, the last videogame I played to completion was in May, I only went to the Cinema twice...

I just took the quick dopamine hit from stuff like youtube videos and social media scrolling.

I gotta fix that. I gotta get back to the things I enjoy.

So my New Year's Resolution, probably the first time I've ever seriously done one, is to enjoy more art.

I'm gonna record every movie and series watched, every book read, every game played- and I'm gonna finish a bunch of those I started and never ended.

No goal, just more.

[lord-explosion-baku]

Tease

Yuuji Itadori x reader x Ryomen Sukuna

Warnings: noncon, dark themes, teasing, slight daddy kink, cunnilingus, vaginal sex, Sukuna’s big stomach tongue doing nasty things, very slight anal play

You’ll never admit that you love this game.

The “tease Yuuji until he’s grumpy, needy, and pouting—all because you refuse to fuck him” game.

There’s something about having your boyfriend nuzzle up in the crook of your neck, wrap his strong arms around you, and pull your ass against his hard, neglected cock, only for you to turn him down, and have him whine for it some more. You laugh and act abashed, but you’re really thinking, ‘Poor Yuuji. When will he ever learn?’

What you should’ve been asking yourself is ‘when will he ever crack?’

Because maybe you arch your back a little too slowly, and maybe you rub up against him a little too much, and when he kisses the back of your neck, maybe you sigh a little too longingly—a little too convincingly—and maybe you drive Yuuji a little too crazy.

“Baby,” he rasps, before ghosting his lips down your neck. His hand runs circles around your stomach, before slowly trailing down to the hem of your skirt. He toys with the waistline, shifting his fingers in and out, barely grazing your skin, then reaches for your button. “Please.”

Grabbing his hand and pulling it up to your lips, you laugh and say, “that’s far enough.”

A deep, permeating groan builds up in the back of Yuuji’s throat. It tumbles out when he shifts his hips forward, and his clothed cock slides between your cheeks.

“Sweetheart,” you chide, and turn in his embrace. Lust-heavy, brown eyes bore into yours. His face is rosy with frustration, and by just a quick glance downwards, you can see that the front of his shorts have a small, wet mark, right where his erection pops out. You try not to grin, and instead say, “it’s not the right time.”

Though your actions betray your words, because you scoot closer to Yuuji in your shared space on the couch. His dick presses against your pubic bone and slides up to your stomach. There’s a sharp inhale, and Yuuji’s cheeks inflate, as if he’s trying not to explode.

“You’re killing me,” he blows out. “Sending your boyfriend straight to his grave.”

“Don’t be so melodramatic.” You laugh while turning his chin to the side to expose the column of his neck. Smirking, you rake your teeth up his throat, relishing the shudder he gives off, his fingers curling into your shirt.

“I want you,” he hisses. “I want you so bad, baby. It’s not fair. Can't you just—just touch it. Just a little bit. It’s aching, baby. Aching for you.”

“Yuuji,” you croon, using his broad chest to level yourself up. You dig your claws into his pecs, causing him to release a low groan. “You love me, right?”

“Of course.” His voice is hoarse with need, just how you like it.

“And you’d do anything for me, right?”

His cheeks are pinker than his hair when he whispers, “yeah-huh.”

Dipping your head down so that your lips are a razor’s edge away from his, you ask, “then you can wait for me, right Yuuji? You can wait, and when it’s the right time, I’ll be sure to make every second worth it to you.”

A croaking noise cracks out of Yuuji’s throat. Goosebumps appear on your legs when he slides his fingers up your thighs, then tightens his hold on your hips, and pulls you down to grind against his dick. It presses against your opening, putting pressure on your clit. Your stomach does a little flip when he asks, “feel how hard it is, baby? Fuck, all I want is to feel you sink onto my cock, y’know. Stretch your tight lil walls. I'd be so careful with you too. Never hurt you.”

Cute, but you already know that.

“Tell me what you really want,” you whisper as your hips begin to roll, your center bobbing up and down his shaft. Yuuji pulses underneath you, his mouth falling open on a shaky exhale.

“Dick you down, hard and good-“ his mutter is practically a groan, his fingers digging into your sides-“hear you cry. Make you regret taking so long.”

Your excitement grows more palpable, your cunt throbbing. “More, Yuuji.”

Blushing, Yuuji gives you more.

“I wanna play with you too. Eat your little pussy until you're trembling, begging to cum. You probably taste so good. So slick and warm. I’ll see you fall apart—break even, and before you get to cum, I’d have you choke on my cock. Your lips are so perfect, I know they’d feel so fucking hot wrapped around me. I think about it all the time.”

“Do you, now?” It’s news to you, but you like it. Yuuji has a bit of a dark side—something you’d like to explore. Leaning down to flick your tongue across his earlobe, slow and sensuously, until you suck him in, relishing how his body tenses up, your body vibrates when his voice breaks on a shuddered gasp. Lowly you ask, “want me to be your slut? Make me take your cock like a good girl? Swallow all of your hot, tasty cum?”

“Fuck. Yes.” Yuuji greedily palms your ass, his thumbs creeping towards your core. When he reaches it, he teases you through your panties, sliding up and down your vulva. “God, you’re wet. I knew you’d be, but—shit.”

Moving an arm around your waist, he presses his knuckle against your clit, soothing it up and down. You twitch, following his touch, sighing softly as he exerts a little more pressure. His other hand trails up your back, until he twists his fingers through your hair, and pulls you into a deep, consuming kiss. His lips are hot, and wet, and needy. His tongue, desperate to taste you, teases your lips open and laps up your moans.

“You want it, too.” Yuuji breathes huskily, petting your hair back. “Don’t even try to deny it.”

Your body flushes, liquid heat shooting down your belly to pool at your center. Yuuji sort of half-laughs, then proceeds to pull your damp panties to the side. However, the moment he reaches for the hem of his shorts, you grab onto his wrist and tut at him. His brows narrow in outrage, but he doesn’t say anything.

The difference between his strength and yours is monumental. Everyone knows how capable he is—his sheer power. He could easily throw you back against the couch and pounce on you, rutting into you to show you your place. It makes you curious. Being thrown around a bit seems like it could be fun. Yuuji asserting his dominance could be even more fun.

But he doesn’t throw you. What he does is far worse.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and it’s not what you want to hear, but there’s a glint in his eye. It’s hard to tell if it really is guilt, or something else.

It’s something else.

Something like black carvings or tattoos appear on his face, arms, and chest. His body shakes, and soon, two powerful arms grow out from under his natural pair, and the slits under his eyes open to reveal scathing, red irises.

No.

Not him.

“Yuuji,” you whisper warily. Your fingers tremble as they reach for your boyfriend’s cheek. “Yuuji, please come back.”

But before your hand can make contact with his face, the monster wraps his fingers around your wrist, yanking your arm back as one of his other three hands snatches your other wrist. He’s quick to lean up and pull you closer so that your breasts push up against his hard, bare chest, your legs wrapped around his torso, and his cock pushing against your ass.

Lips wobbling, you make another pitiful attempt to call Yuuji back to you, but the words don’t come out right. They’re strangled and choked and-

“Pathetic,” the monster in front of you drawls. Keeping your wrists clasped together, he uses a free hand to wipe a renegade tear away from your hot cheeks. “Already crying and I haven’t yet done anything to you. Oh, there’s no need to pout, little one. Daddy’s here.”

Finally, you have enough sense in you to fight back, but it’s all for naught. Even though you try to kick, and you try to bite, and you try to wriggle yourself free, it’s all hopeless. His hold on you is vice, and if anything, he looks amused at your sorry struggle.

Your defiant gaze meets his, and despite the tears streaming down your cheeks, you muster the willpower to bare your teeth at him, and snarl. As if he could ever be intimidated by the likes of you.

He snarls right back, taunting you, making light of your hapless effort to try to threaten him. You jerk back in response, not realizing that you’d be pressed against his hard length. It throbs between your thighs. Your eyes go wide, and in response, the curse snickers.

“Keep wigglin’, girl,” he jeers, free arms moving around your back to lock you in place. “Feels good on my cock.”

Rebelliously, you still, hoping to make it so he gets the least amount of pleasure out of this as possible. If he’s going to kill you, you’d like to go out with some dignity.

As if reading your mind, he tuts at you, just like you did with Yuuji, then moves his cheek to nuzzle against your neck—a mockery of a lover’s touch. The soft charade ends before you can pretend it’s nice, though, because soon his tongue laves out, drawing a wet streak up your throat, before he briskly bites down, sucking harshly on your fragile flesh.

A scream burbles out of your esophagus, but it does nothing to ease the pain the curse is inflicting on you. One of his hands moves up your chest. It gropes your left breast, thumb and forefinger twisting your nipple. He sucks and licks until you’re sure he’s left a giant mark on your skin, and when he’s happy enough with his work, he begins kissing you down your neck, to your collarbone, then to your jaw.

A unique languor disperses throughout your body, sucking your desire to fight. You don’t know if it’s because you’ve tired yourself out, or if you’re just…relieved he’s not hurting you—not in a way that you never wanted Yuuji to, anyways. That doesn’t mean you’re giving up.

There’s one thing you haven’t tried yet, and though it seems your throat to do it, you have no other choice but to try.

“Please,” you begin, feeling lower than dirt at having to beg for your release. “Let me go. I can’t do this…”

“And why should I?” He whispers, cool breath blowing against your cheek.

“Yuuji, he—“

“—offered me a deal,” the monster admits, all teeth. “So long as I don’t inflict any permanent damage on you, and he can feel everything we feel, I can do with you as I wish.”

No. Yuuji would never.

“You’re lying,” you murmur, although when you think about it, you’re not sure. Yuuji had…an odd expression right before the other appeared.

“Whether you believe me or not doesn’t matter to me. I’m in control now, and, little girl, it’s been so long since I’ve had my way with a woman. I plan to cease every second of this. Whether you’re willing or not, I will take you, and oh-“ his voice drops an octave when he says, “I promised him that you’ll like it too. Not that that will be any trouble.”

Unceremoniously, his tongue sweeps your lips, and even though you try your hardest to keep your mouth, when sharp teeth bite down on your bottom lip, you grant his access with a yip.

The kiss is leisurely, like he has all the time to waste on molding his lips to yours. His tongue stroke against yours. Beside yourself, you melt into him, picturing it’s Yuuji you’re touching. He hums, seemingly content with your compliance. When he pulls away, his smirk makes your heart jump. His eyes, Yuuji’s eyes, are still so soft. Deceiving.

He lifts you so he can get a better look at your body. Hands roaming your body, he gazes at you appraisingly, and says, “I’ll admit that the brat has good taste. You’d be the perfect woman if you weren’t such a prude.”

With that, Sukuna tears your shirt off your chest—the flimsy and annoying obstruction—to reveal the sheer bralette underneath. Your nipples press against Sukuna’s hands, hardening when he palms you covetously. His smirk widens.

“Not a prude,” he muses darkly, “a tease.” He pinches your nipples hard, making you half-cry, half-moan. “That was cute. You’re gonna be fun.”

“I don’t want this,” you pant, hating the sound of desire coating each word. “I don’t…”

“No?” The curse—the monster—looks amused, a dark gleam in his eyes. A sharp fingernail trails down your bare stomach, and you shudder as heat rushes towards your center, and down between your thighs. Sensing your inner response, he sneers up at you, and in one horrifying second, your boyfriend’s body splits open, revealing a dark, cavernous hole in his stomach. It contorts in an odd way until sharpened teeth, and a long, pink tongue appears. The stomach grins, right before its tongue slowly licks up your center.

The shrieking begins when the licking doesn’t stop. The slow, rhythmic laps soak through your panties. It moves in an undulating motion, thick and wet, forcing you to ride it like a mechanical bull. It’s so strong that even when you close your thighs around it in hopes of maybe squeezing it enough to hurt, it doesn’t do anything except make the monster below you chuckle. It’s completely violating you, not only licking your pussy, but your ass too. Everything is so wet, and sensitive, and hot, that soon your crying evolves into moans, and you can’t help but clench on top of this intrusion.

“Such a responsive little slut for someone who doesn’t want this.” One of the curse’s four hands pets you down your bare back, until it lands on your ass. He gives it an appreciative squeeze, first to feel you, to claim you, then to hold you in place as his stomach tongue begins vibrating at a high intensity.

“No,” you whimper when you begin to feel something coiling up on the inside. The pleasure is so startling, so intense, that you begin to mewl. You’re begging, but you’re unsure if it’s for him to stop, or if it’s for him to let you cum.

With two hands still holding your wrists together, and the others now sitting behind his head to cushion him, he watches with moderate interest as you come undone.

“That’s a good girl,” he purrs, “you want to cum for me, little one? Let me taste your pleasure?”

“No,” you say again, squeezing your eyes shut, trying to picture you’re anywhere else. “Yuuji.”

The curse tightens his eyes and groans.

Suddenly, the stomach-mouth closes, and you’re lifted up, your panties pulled to the side, and placed back down, his palm pressing into your cunt. Without registering what is happening, you blink at him, a question building in your foggy mind, but you never get to ask it.

Something warm slides up your slit, flirting with your opening. It twirls around your clit, and you begin to shake, realizing that it’s another tongue. He’s eating you out from the palm of his hand, and it only intensifies your tension. You’re burning from the inside out, your pussy pounding as the tongue slides in and out…in and out.

“Say my name,” he hisses, jaggedly, like he’s barely keeping it together. “Say my name, and I’ll take pity on you.”

“Ah…fuck…” Resolve crumbling, you fall forward and onto his chest. His fingers rake up your back, only intensifying your pleasure. Your hips wheel around, chasing his palm…his tongue…your ecstasy.

“Say it,” he commands. The palm’s mouth closes around your clit and starts to suck. Holding back your moans becomes unbearable. It’s all you can do to stop from screaming again, and even then, it’s not much.

“Sukuna!” You plead, tears dotting your eyes. “Please—ah! Please let me cum! Sukuna please, god!”

“So good, little one,” Sukuna coos, “so sweet.” He sucks and nibbles and licks amplify, and you squirm and gyrate against his tongue, barreling towards what was before a very elusive edge. You go over with a trilled moan, trembling, crying, euphoric.

Absolutely devastated.

And it’s not over. He’s not done with you.

Before you can stop vibrating, Sukuna pulls you up against him, lining you up with him. His cock head pries at your center, breaching your surface when he kisses you roughly. It's a vicious and animal, all encompassing kiss, like he’s been starving for it.

“Sit on it,” he instructs. His hands move up and down your sides, either to comfort you, or to remind you that he could force you down if he was so inclined. “Slide down on my cock like a good girl. I want to be buried inside of you.”

When you begin to descend, Sukuna sharply snaps his hips upwards, forcing himself in urgently. The sudden intrusion is enough to make you yip, your body set aflame. Sukuna’s—Yuuji’s pupils expand, his eyes growing darker as he watches you struggle to take him in. There’s no time to get used to his size. He’s moving, and you have no choice but to react. Reluctantly, you stretch for him, and he slowly moves out, only to harshly push back in.

“Beautiful,” he rasps. The praise sends shivers up your spine, and makes you pulse around his cock. You’re sure the evil bastard can feel it, too, because he cups your jaw, and exalts you. “Pretty girl, you feel so good. So tight. A natural submissive, too. Isn’t that right?”

You’re about to object, and when he senses it, he pulls you off of him, and throws you to the floor. You have no time to run, because he climbs on top of you, shoves your head down to the floor, and pulls your ass up.

“When I ask you a question, you answer me,” he rumbles against your neck. It’s violent, but one hand is still on your ass, caressing you soothingly. “You say, ‘yes, daddy’ like my sweet little girl. Unless you want me to treat you as a cum-dumpster—some whore to spill my seed in.” His thumb begins stroking your ass hole, and your body shivers in anticipation. “In any hole that I want. Do you understand me?”

“…yes, daddy,” you weep into the carpet and pray for this to end soon.

Sukuna guides his shaft back inside of you, and it presses against a spot that makes vision darken for a second. He’s relentless when he drives into you, over and over again. His heat surrounds you, weight pressing you into the floor. His large hands rub your skin, petting you all over, and the caresses almost make this intimate, until his touch, again, travels to your other hole.

Trepidation pumps through your blood, making you squeeze his cock. The fear is something electric and addictive, and it has you warbling. He groans, picking up his pace, but his thumb doesn’t leave its place.

“Are you afraid, little one?” Sukuna’s timbre takes on a darker edge. “Scared I’m gonna do the same thing to your ass that I’m doing to your beautiful, fucking pussy?”

The right answer eludes you. You’re not thinking. Your walls close around Sukuna every time he speaks. Every time he pushes himself to his hilt, fills you up, and claims you. By the tears staining the carpet, you can assume that yes. You’re very afraid.

“Yes, daddy,” you mewl, right before Sukuna twists his fingers into your hair, and pulls you back. Two arms wrap around your stomach, squeezing you to him, and his last hand reaches around you to rub circles around your too-sensitive clit. “Ohhh, god. Yes.”

“You should be.” He latches onto your neck and sucks violently. You scream as your second orgasm rips through you, forcefully shaking your entire body as Sukuna hammers into you, his pace kiltering off. He’s about to chase you.

“Daddy, please, no…” not inside. Not inside.

Sukuna scoffs, gives you several more cruel pumps, then pulls out, straining you to fall on your back so he can stroke himself off, spraying hot, white ropes of cum across your hot stomach.

“Mine,” Sukuna declares. He smoothes his hand over your sweaty belly, spreading his cum across your skin. “The next time you tease the brat, I’ll take more than your pretty pussy, little girl. That’s a promise.” He dips down low to glide his tongue up your cheek. “So don’t you hesitate to call on me again.”

Then, the marks and the arms disappear, the second pair of eyes closing. The brown eyes that blink at you, shining with something like shame or pleasure, are Yuuji’s.

“Baby…” He says, and you don’t have it in you to cringe away from him when he crowds you into a hug. He pulls you against him, kissing your temple, whispering apologies. He asks if you’re okay, and you don’t know.

But you can’t stop thinking…about when the next time you’ll play the “Tease Yuuji” game.

[totiredtowrite]

oikawa request? 👀 can I get uuuuuuuuuuh oikawa’s in love with reader but reader straight up doesn’t get it like oikawa kisses his cheek? he’s like “oh shit we kissing the homies goodbye now? bet” sorry I love himbos lmao

Helpless

Warnings - Just my main hoe oikawa and some cursing, also it's hinted that reader is shorter than oikawa so beware ig?

Note: I got a similar request, so I just decided to lump them both together to get one massive himbo reader and Oikawa's even massiver crush on you

Male Reader

Oikawa calls you a himbo a lot.

You aren't too sure what the word means, but you assume that he says it as a term of endearment judging by the smile on his face whenever he says it. It was almost like calling your best friend an idiot, or your boyfriend a doofus.

Whatever the case was with him, you didn't mind. Having a nickname from one of your best friends makes you feel all bubbly and happy, so there isn't a need to put too much thought into it anyway.

You hummed out of habit when you arrive at the gym. The tall ceiling and polished floors always made you feel right at home. Your dopey grin grew wider at the sight of Oikawa and Iwaizumi setting up the net.

Jogging up to them, you reach up to rest your hand on Oikawa's shoulder.

"Hi Tooru-kun!" You say cheerfully, eyes sparkling at him.

"(Y/n)!" He said, his voice cracking a bit. Iwaizumi muffled a laugh and continued with what he was doing. You, oblivious to Oikawa's reddening face, just turned smiled at him with a look that could only remind him of an adoring puppy.

He turned his face away from you to attempt to hide his blush.

"Shouldn't you be getting changed?" Iwaizumi says with an annoyed eye roll in an attempt to save Oikawa's pride. He isn't heartless after all, Oikawa's pathetic struggle was even hard for him to watch.

You shrugged. "I just wanted to say hi to Oikawa first!" You take your hand off of his shoulder. "I'll get changed now!" You grin, and wave at them before turning to go to the club room. Oikawa let out a heavy breath and banged his head against the net pole.

"Cut that out Shittykawa! We wouldn't want you to loose more brain cells..." Hajime muttered that last part quietly.

"Iwa-chaan, what can I do!" Oikawa whined. "He's just too perfect!" And too dumb to notice, but that little detail doesn't need to be said out loud.

Iwaizumi hums. "Well maybe it's a blessing in disguise. You almost outed your stupid ass in front of him."

"Always so mean Iwa-chan," Oikawa pouted mockingly at him.

Iwaizumi was right though. He almost gave himself away. (Well, not really, you would probably just assume he was sick).

How could he not be in love with you though? You always made sure he was doing okay, checking up on him, making sure he wasn't overworking himself. You always gave him that beautiful bright smile, and came to say "hi" or "good morning" whenever you saw him. It's not like he was never going to tell you! He just had to figure out how to do it!

"Why not just be direct," Matsukawa had suggested a week ago, "Do something that he couldn't misunderstand." Oikawa furrowed his brows and huffed as that interaction came to mind. 'Direct.' Like what? It's not like Oikawa could just walk up to you and kiss you! That'd be insane, He reasoned to himself as the rest of the team started lining up for drills. Wouldn't it?

~~~

Oikawa was going to kiss you.

In an attempt to reason with his seemingly outlandish idea, he told hinself that it wasn't a full on kiss kiss. Just on the cheek or something. That should be complex enough to get his feelings through, and simple enough for you to understand.

After dwelling on it all throughout practice, Tooru practically had stars in his eyes. His eyes were on you the whole time, focusing on your power and how concentrated you look when you play. He wondered what it would be like to finally kiss you.

He was fully energized after ending practice, bouncing on his heels while everyone else was tuckered out.

"What's up with him?" Hanamaki snickered.

"He's finally thought of a plan to confess to (y/n)," Matsukawa responded bluntly, taking a swig out of the blue water bottle he had in hand.

"S'about time," Iwaizumi muttered, looking irritated.

"Let's just give them some space," Matsukawa shot a coy smile at the other two. "We wouldn't want to embarrass our captain."

~~~

"(Y/n)!"

You turn around, startled by the sudden loud noise before looking up to see Oikawa, a focused and determined look on his face.

"Hiya Captain!" You said. "What do you need? You look kind of scary just standing there you know," you laughed.

Oikawa didn't say anything, choosing to replace any possible words with action as he moved towards you.

You nervously fidgeted. His lack of words and eerie movement unnerved you a bit. "Am I in the way of something?" You asked, sudden worry on your face, "I can move if you'd... like..." You trailed off as Oikawa brought his hand to your cheek, resting his thumb on your jaw so he could push your head to the side. "Tooru?" You said, voice much softer now.

He still didn't say anything as he leaned down to plant his lips on your cheekbone, moving just close enough for you to feel his body heat. His lips were soft, slightly chapped, and on the thinner side. It felt oddly nice, the way his lips were warm on your skin. When he pulled back, retracting his hand from your face, he smiled triumphantly.

"Oooh," you said, face lighting up with realization. "We're kissing our friends now? I mean bet, I'll get the jump on you next time!" You had a big grin on your face, one thumb pointed back at you.

You still didn't get it? Seriously? All that planning for you to chalk it up to some regular "kiss the homies" bullshit?

"Oh enough of this," Oikawa said suddenly, grabbing the back of your neck and slamming his lips to yours. You made some kind of surprised noise, the speed and suddenness throwing you off. He unintentionally tugged you closer, his long fingers weaving their way into your hair where yours were gripping his shirt at his waist.

When the two of you finally pulled apart, you stared at him with wide eyes. Both of your faces were no doubt red. "Oh," you start slowly. "Well if you liked me you should have just said so!" You gave him that puppy-like smile again, and wrapped your arms around his waist to bring him into a bone crushing hug.

Oikawa sighed, palming his own face. What a hassle, he thought as he returned your embrace.

He didn't know what kind of an answer that was, but he decided that it was a "yes." After all, you were the one who kissed him back.

[vacantgodling]

bless u @muddshadow cuz ur tags give me a reason to Be Alive

to answer some of this bc brain worms:

LITERALLY YEAH. the reason their irritation at best -> fuck buddies -> full blown emotional & physical affair -> husbands pipeline actually works is bc they’re both extremely honest with their bodies; i’d argue as their Parent(tm) that it’s the only way the two of them are truly honest. “your words may say one thing but your actions another” type of thing. and tbh, they’ve neither of them really have met anyone who speaks in that same “language” of sorts until they meet each other. and i think that’s kind of why they work—they speak each other’s language. words are a defensive and offensive mechanism for both of them, so to find someone who sees past that into their true feelings through their actions is uncomfortably revealing AND good for them. like later in life they’ve lowkey really mellowed out lmao. they still bitch at each other (this will never change) but it’s much more of a married couple bickering lovingly than the actual barbs of yesteryear. but that’s just me waxing poetic about how much i love them speaking each other’s body lingo — ANYWAY-

hya 100% has a 16 step skin care routine, which he usually does in the bathtub which doubles as him steaming his face. the thing about hya is he Really dislikes showers (childhood trauma) but he usually takes baths because he enjoys the leisure of the whole thing. therefore, what better time to pamper his face too? he’s quite methodical and it’s kind of soothing to him in a way lmao.

YEAH THE MATCHING RINGS EMOTIONAL DAMAGE x9000000. the other interesting thing about their matching rings is that they are actually super plain gold bands. it was a compromise of sorts (which is surprising that the two of them were capable of cough) but amon likes simpler things and hya refuses any jewelry that isn’t gold so they found a nice middle ground. amon does usually wear his ring on a chain around his neck though bc he prefers having his hands free of jewelry (old fighting ring habits; the only jewelry you need in a brawl are brass knuckles ya feel) but you can definitely tell the rings match :3c

OUGH NO I HAVENT WRITTEN IT YET BUT I KNOW EXACTLY WHEN IT HAPPENS—not to give too much away but hya saying amon’s name plays a huge role in the big ass climax scene so 👀 i’m damn emo about it i can’t wait until i Actually write it so i can not be normal for the rest of my life.

talking about their feelings Would help and amon isn’t against it; it’s really just hya “i have a stick shoved so far up my ass that it’s a permanent part of my bone structure” who’s the problem. i think if they Do ever talk about their feelings it’s definitely at least a year or two removed from the end of paramour and it’s probably while they’re fucking bc lbr that’s the only time vulnerable honesty exists with these two. so it’s definitely an “off camera” moment but i should write it at some point so i can weep about it

finally, on a long road trip that would depend. they’re both pretty introverted tbh so they don’t always Need to fill the space with words and they both enjoy travel in their own ways. if they were taking a journey that they paid for and didn’t have to make decisions about i think it’d be actually pleasant but if they were driving in like a modern au or something Good Fucking Luck. they would bitch about directions ALL THE TIME and the radio would become a battle unless they decided to listen to audio books. the problem is that amon would get distracted during an audio book and hya would kill him if he interrupted so like tbh modern day road trip is So Much Squabbling would not recommend.

16, 27, 48 for Hya and Amon :v

thank you :v!!

16. Would they ever get matching tattoos? If yes, what would these look like?

god no lmao. hya refuses to mark his skin with anything; tattoos, scars, etc. if you’re thinking what about when he has acne and lemme tell you my guy loses his fucking mind when he has pimples even. amon already has enough marks (the scars) on his body so even if it’s art he’s not really keen to have more happen to his skin. both of them are jewelry people anyway so they’re more likely to get matching rings and stuff cuz they’re fucking married lol.

27. How do they say “I love you” non-verbally?

hya never says i love you verbally so LMAO. basically a lot of it boils down to reading between the lines of his actions; the things he does that he doesn’t usually do say a LOT. hya saying amon’s actual name instead of just “butler” is a huge one; letting touches linger, reading together and seeking amon out; actually LISTENING to amon’s opinions LMAO, letting amon touch his hair, or top (i know that’s a huge gasp but it happens after the end of paramour so it’s technically never seen however i’ve thought a lot about it and i cried about it once bc they make me emo), etc. basically, for hya it’s letting amon become a part of his life and that’s one of the biggest ways he can show he loves him

ugh i’m emo about these two

anyway, when it comes to amon, he’s more verbose about telling hya he loves him yeah but he also gets extremely comfortable being Himself around hya—which, for amon, a man of many masks and faces, is unusual and says a lot. he can’t help but want to be honest with hya about who he is, what he’s about, his intentions, desires, etc. so i think that’s probably the biggest way he shows his love.

48. Do they talk about their future together? Why or why not?

they don’t really “talk” about it in the traditional sense. i mean, they never sit down and talk about their feelings in general because that would just be a massive clusterfuck and not in a good way LMAO. but they do… infer a lot? they’re bad with their emotions but they are better with being straightforward with their actions. so, realistically after the Huge Climax happens and the finale tm, they just. they already know that they aren’t going anywhere. that they’re stuck with each other. i mean, they even go tie the knot which lol i wonder how that ceremony went cuz they didn’t tell ANYONE about it lol. but they just kind of make a decision and neither one of them contradict moving in together or becoming husbands and shit so. yeah lol.

[lady-eny]

TITLE: ON THE NATURE OF DUTY (17/17) COMPLETED!

Some tags: AU - Spies & Secret Agents, Enemies to Lovers, Action, Canon-Typical Violence, Minor Mikenana, Minor Zekehan, Minor Character Death, Reincarnation.

Summary:

In another life, they meet again. But what if instead of comrades, they find themselves as enemies?

Levi, Eldia’s best agent, lives to fulfill his duty. Yet, as he teams up with his enemies to save the world, he begins losing sight of it. Despite reminding himself how much he hates Hange—the marleyan star analyst—being around her makes him question everything he believed true.

He can’t prevent his brain from scrambling at her mere presence, ever closer. Perhaps it’s that he recognizes her from a long time ago…

CROSS-POSTING ON: AO3

Other Chapters: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 Notes: So.. here we are, at the end of yet another journey **gets emotional**

Thanks for reading this entire fic. It means a lot. I really wanted to give a second change to our favorite couple. They deserved it, but of course they had to overcome some things and let some others settle before that. 

Hope y’ll have a great day, week, year. Take care✨

Chapter 17

“Hey… Four eyes.”

He stepped in, feeling the world around him craving in.

She pasted a weird smile over her mouth, trying to act all cheerful. “You understand. It’s finally here, you know?... It’s my turn. I want to look as cool as I possibly can right now. So just… Let me go, will you?”

His heart clenched within his chest, his eyes losing any light they could have contained before. He stared down at his useless hands. He couldn’t do anything, less when she was asking him to do nothing. As always, his heart was first in no one’s prioritizing list—not his, not hers.

For both, their duty was the owner of the top place and would always be.

Wouldn’t it?

Levi’s head is gradually killing him—that, or he’s already dead. His luck is such that perhaps even dead he won’t stop hurting, so that would make perfect sense. Likely, it’s the former instead of the latter; this pain is all too familiar. He recognizes the neat and worn scanty surface beneath his fingers, as he’s laid on it a hundred times hitherto. The constant beep of a monitor, the lemon whiff he inhales with every breath, and the arctic air chilling his bones (whoever thought a thin gown was enough to protect from the air conditioner was an idiot).

All this proves what he knew the moment he regained conscience.

He’s in the hospital.

Knowing that, Levi doesn’t open his eyes, too drained by the ache behind his eyelids. He knows what he’ll see at first glance, anyway: bright and blinding fluorescent lighting—capable of boosting his headache by an extra thousand percent. His muscles are sore, his shoulder and side numbed, and his throat burns. He must have been pretty bad, because upon waking up, he’s usually in better shape.

What happened? Images mingle in his mind and vanish. Hange in danger, he trying to save her, promising her to remain alive… blankness. He got hurt, then? Did he save her? Is she alive?

Minutes go by, but the pain doesn’t decrease.

I’ll stay here for a while, Levi muses, so there’s no point in delaying the inevitable.

He opens his eyes back to reality and winces at the explosion of enlightenment. He blinks rapidly to adjust. The view he encounters is not different from his expectations. White ceiling, white walls, white bed—as if someone had shitted white paint and sprinkled it on every corner.

At the fore of his bed, on a desk, a blond man is reading a stack of papers.

“Such a nice place to work,” Levi tries to say—emphasis on tries, as his words come out as a squawk. He clears his throat, but he continues sounding raspy in his next attempt. His hand stretches to a water glass on the side table and he takes a sip. The water sliding down his throat feels like the hit of ice spikes through his tract. Yet it does help him regain his natural speech. “How… What happened?”

Erwin doesn’t answer, abstracted by his work as he is. He puts a pen on his ear in a clumsy way Levi’s never seen from him before. Dark bags hang under his eyes and his hair is disheveled, also a new look to Levi. It births an unsettling churn in his stomach. For Erwin to look like this, Levi can only imagine the worst possible scenario. Zeke won…. The attacks happened… Global chaos…

Hange dead.

Levi can’t handle any more silence. “Erwin,” he calls, piercing the subject of his attention with his eyes, until the other man sighs and sets the papers down.

“The threat was neutralized,” Erwin tells him, and Levi’s glare loses its fang. “Zeke Yeager is in jail, and we’ve dismantled most of Tybur’s cameras and devices from around the globe. We also captured most of the people in their headquarters and are trying to discover the infiltrators in the governments, Eldia’s included. Some run away, but they don’t have anywhere to go and everyone is seeking them out. We’ll find them.”

He assimilates the information. The most important unknown is at the edge of his tongue… He can’t make himself throw it out. Levi chooses to ask a simpler question, instead.

“Tybur was…?”

“We are aware of his crimes, but he’s extremely powerful. We can’t do anything big against him now, but he won’t be able to restart the previous organization for the time being.”

Levi swallows the limp in his throat. The effort only makes his head spin, and the lump tighter. “That’s good,” he says, strained. “Did any civilian die?”

Erwin shakes his head and returns to work with a frown. If that’s true, why does Erwin look so troubled? Why is he so clearly overworked and tired? Levi supports his weight with his arms and sits upright, flinching at the blaze of pain that shoots through his side. The bead creaks as he adjusts his position.

“Take it easy,” Erwin advises. Never glancing up from his papers, he lifts his index finger. “Before you ask, your friend was deported to Marley.”

He wasn’t about to ask that, exactly, but that does answer his actual question. She’s alive. Relief sinks him deeper into the bed.

Erwin continues, “As far as I know, she infiltrated the organization’s server and obtained data about their other bases. That’s how we’ve found and captured most of them.”

Of course she did. Levi fights the corners of his mouth, which are kicking upward.

It’s over. The mission, the global threat. They more or less succeeded. And now…

“Did the war between Marley and Eldia resume?”

Erwin leans back on the chair and looks at the large window covered by blinds. Not even a hint of light seeps in from them.

“Yes.” The lonely word overwhelms the room with a stinky odor.

Levi wrinkles his nose. “I see.”

It could mean a lot of things. Levi hoped all the recent death would pacify the sparkle of conflict between the two nations, but from the look on Erwin’s face… Does this mean they’re back into their original positions, as before this mission? Like nothing transpired?

His body turns much heavier, making a hole in the bed. Memories flash in his head. He, going from city to city—a figure in motion without a soul, going through circumstances he never wants to repeat. The face of the people he’s killed, the debris and screams from the innocent after the bombings. Hange’s voice when she told him about her family.

His mother.

How to forgive Eldia for causing so much harm? The idealized version of his country no longer exists, along with the idea of its safety justifying every action taken against those who don’t share the same place of birth. It remains the place he’s grown into, though—the one that saw his mother born and die, even when its puppeteers are the ones who orchestrated her death. The one he’s dedicated his entire life to. Can he give it his back? More so, can he rely on his people once more, knowing what he does?

He watches Erwin warily until the other man catches sight of his gaze. He taps his papers into order and interrupts Levi’s inner turmoil. “You don’t trust me.”

No need to deny the obvious. “No, I don’t.”

“Will you ever trust me again?”

“I don’t think so.” Trust is hard to build; but once lost, it’s virtually impossible to recover.

Erwin winces. “We’re a team. For our work, you should make an effort to overcome the past.”

“Do you think we’ll keep working together? Our superiors won’t return me under your care after what I did. They’ll say you can’t handle me.”

“It will end soon, either way.”

“Pardon?”

Erwin exhales. “There have been talks. I guess even Pixis is tired, and the increase in the power of the WCO over the public following this event is something to take into account. If things keep heading this way, we might get a peace treaty soon. Or not. Nothing’s yet been stated, it’s just the mood.” Erwin folds his arms onto his chest and presses his lips into a line.

That’s… excellent news, actually. Sure, it could get to nothing, still, it’s better than how things were a mere week ago, when peace was unthinkable.

“Why aren’t you content?”

Erwin has devoted his entire life, his every minute and breath, to this war. To Eldia. Levi expected relief from him; in its place, he’s emanating waves of frustration. The last time they thought the war was over—when Levi resigned—Erwin wasn’t pleased, but neither angry. Just… lost.

“Marie left me.” Erwin rubs his temples. “She said… She said I’m never around. That I should have married the war.”

“But the war is ending, isn’t it? You can talk to her. You guys always fix it.”

“No.” Erwin bobs his head. “She doesn’t want to come back this time, and… she has someone else now. Besides, I don’t know what she’d come back for. What am I, without the war?”

Levi stirs on the bed, the sadness in Erwin’s words too massive for him to completely grasp. For the first time maybe, he regards the man at his front quite plainly. The wrinkled ends of his clothes—which years ago used to be flawless—are Erwin’s current fixation. He smooths and smooths and smooths his sleeves. They don’t seem to be able to straighten again.

“You’re Erwin Smith, before and after the war. It doesn’t define you.”

Erwin nods, but closes his eyes, discarding Levi’s words as soon as they come. Erwin has always been so strong; capable of altering history, in his past life and this one. The first source of Levi’s purpose and a friend. But he’s also been consumed by his goals, so badly that, without them… What’s left? He’ll have to find himself over again or perhaps discover a new dream to chase.

“Maybe the negotiations will fail,” Erwin says to himself. “I always pictured how the world would be without war, wanted it, and now… Peace is amazing, but is it true peace if we don’t win? A treaty is like claiming a tie, and we wouldn’t be making them pay for all the hurt, all the dead…” Erwin winces. “There’s always the future. People won’t stop hating each other for a paper. The future may bring more war, sooner than later.”

Lost in a purpose. If Levi continues on this road, will he look like Erwin, later on? Devoted to the point of obsession to a single thing so damn much, that he lost everything else on the way, even himself?

Levi outstretches his hands, wanting to help the person he used to consider his best friend—but is there something he could do? He drops them and looks at his helpless hands. Even in the past, Erwin couldn’t overcome his desire for a greater purpose, neglecting the people who loved him around from time to time. He doesn’t know how to change that.

The unique thing Levi’s certain of is that he doesn’t want to be like this his entire life… But despite his best wishes, he’ll probably be.

Won’t he?

***

Levi’s injuries are sluggish to recover.

A couple of months go by in a spiral of tasteless hospital food, muscles aching from spending so much time restricted on a bed, and a pool of anxiety getting more and more loaded with every passing day. He still hasn’t been able to contact Hange.

Like everything does, his stay in the colorless room ends. The day to get released from the hospital ultimately arrives, wherein his body is indeed healthier, if overflowed by stress.

Levi opens his apartment door with a creak, flips on the lights, and takes it all in from the doorway. It’s startling to find it looking the same, which is, of course, a rather illogical thing to feel. Why would it have changed? Yet, he feels as it should have. All in all, it does feel different—the gray carpet, furniture, and walls seem opaque, and the stillness overly disturbing. Empty, in a way.

He takes a deep breath in. It remains his place, so he better gets used to it again. He tosses his bag onto the sofa and shuffles to the kitchen, where he selects the sweetest tea of his collection, puts some water to boil, and brews it. He takes out his phone and, with no hesitation whatsoever, dials a number he’s been calling a little too much these last few weeks.

Mike’s face projects from his phone, the bluish light making his skin look ill—not to mention the addition of a cast on his arm, which truly shows his still weakened state. Levi places the phone on the countertop.

“Ackerman. I was wondering where you were.” Mike takes a look at Levi’s surroundings. “Did you finally escape the hospital?”

“Barely.” Levi places his steaming cup on the countertop and sits. “How’s the arm?”

“Healing and resting happily.” Mike sniffs a plate, then smiles and takes a spoon of its content. It appears to be soup. “Not everyone is a workaholic super-agent like you. Most of us do like vacations and free time.”

Levi’s elbow slides forward on the countertop, his chin in hand. “Maybe I should do it someday…”

“No time like the present.” At Levi’s lack of reply, Mike adds, “So, you’re embarking on another mission soon?”

Possibly. Before being discharged from the hospital, Erwin told him he expects Levi to return to his duty as soon as possible, and interpreted Levi’s silence as an affirmative response. His guts tangle unpleasantly upon merely thinking about going into one again, and yet…

“Have you heard from her?” Levi changes the subject to one they always end up discussing anyway.

Mike takes a spoonful of soup into his mouth. Chews and swallows, taking his pretty time doing it, probably aware of how fidgety Levi is as he waits for his answer.

“I did.”

That’s new. Levi straightens. “What did she say? Will she call me?”

“I didn’t talk with her, personally. I talked with Nifa. She told me Hange’s doing well, she’s just been engrossed in all the work, chasing The Orions and attending meetings with Pieck about Eldia, etc.”  Mike catches Levi’s eyes. “She’s not purposely avoiding you.”

“Right.” Levi’s fingernail picks at a weird stain glued to the countertop. He should undertake a profound cleaning session soon. “She’s just too busy to give someone a one-minute call.”

“You should know she’s always like this. She disappears. Keeps her distance,” Mike says. Obviously, Levi knows, mostly from what he’s heard. It’s possible the problem is he expected otherwise, believing she’d realize she doesn’t have to, not anymore. That, with his recovery, he proved she isn’t guilty of the deaths surrounding her. Or at least, that he allowed her to take a step closer to letting that go. Guess not. “You aren’t either.”

“What?”

“Calling her directly anymore,” Mike explains.

Well, no. Even he understands what so many unanswered rings imply. “I surmised that if she wanted to, she’d have called me back a long time ago.” But she hasn’t. Isn’t that enough of an answer? “How’s Shadis?”

Mike leans back. “Still healing in the hospital. He’ll be alright. Last time we talked, he was ecstatic because Hange had paid him a visit.”

“Oh. That’s good.” They shouldn’t, but the words taste bitter on his tongue. Perhaps she let go of her misconception of being a danger to her loved ones. Perhaps she did with everyone except Levi. Not that he minds it.

At all.

Half of Mike’s mouth tilts into a smile. “I know her, Hange must have her motives. She’ll come back to you… eventually.”

“Whatever.” Levi shrugs. He doesn’t care about it. He merely wanted to make sure she was okay, which he just got verification of. Now he can stop trying to reach her out and respect her evident desire to ignore him. Finished topic.

“If you say so.” Mike holds the plate in his hands, tilts it, and sips the last of the soup. “Did you watch that movie I told you about?”

“Gak. I did, thanks for the waste of time. I’m nothing like that Tom character.”

“Oh, come on! You even talk like him! You constructed your entire personality based on his demeanor, I’m sure. The weird part is he’s a favorite among the ladies, and well, you…” Levi nearly chokes on a sip of tea and lifts an irritated eyebrow. Mike lets out a laugh. “Sorry, kidding. Nana used to say…” He trails off, and his gaze gets lost somewhere far away, as it tends to do.

Levi, as he also tends to do when Mike behaves like this, uses the companionable silence to ruminate. What is he doing next? Even when Erwin’s orders of coming back to work sound so dreadful, what else is he supposed to do? He still wants to help his people, as they’re innocent of their leaders’ wrongdoings. Moreover, he has nothing in his life except what he’s done in its entirety; what he’s done even in his past life. Serving. Fighting. Following orders.

Dedicating his heart to humanity.

In the end, though, what difference does it make what he does? Are the past and the present any different? What has he accomplished by relentlessly fighting?

Nothing.

Therefore, what’s the point of it all?

“What would you do if I told you nothing we do matters? That regardless of how hard we try, nothing will change. That we’re in a perpetual cycle of death and destruction with no way out, and we have zero control over anything.”

Mike looks at him oddly, as if afraid he developed scales overnight. Levi deduces he sounded way more fatalist than usual.

“That would be a lot to take in,” Mike starts, “but I’d keep eating my soup, watch another movie before sleeping, and prepare to return to work next week just like I was going to do before hearing that.”

Levi thinks about it. Basically, he’d do the same without a care.

“But without Nana,” Mike keeps going, “returning to work feels too hard. Maybe it’s time I retire and try something else…”

“Would that be okay?”

“Why not? Change is good. Doing something new doesn’t mean you’re neglecting the past, you know? You’re just moving on for your own sake.”

“Yes, but…” Something about it makes Levi feel uneasy. “You’re one of the best agents. Wouldn’t that be—?”

“Selfish?” Mike finishes for him. And yes. That’s exactly what Levi was, deep inside, thinking. Mike gives him a knowing smile. “Possibly. Yet I believe our greatest duty is, first and foremost, with ourselves.”

By the time they swap goodbyes, Levi’s too tired to notice the unbearable calmness of his apartment. He moves to his balcony and lets the door snick shut behind him. The night has crept on the sky since he returned, the air getting as cold as every time he’s come here seeking energy to go through.

He slouches into his green recliner, unlocks his cellphone, and goes straight to social media. Reading through a few posts, he stumbles upon a Joan The Slayer’s spoiler that stops his heart.

Randy… no!

His first impulse is to tell Hange about it, but… Right, he can’t talk to her. He rubs a hand over his chest, feeling the claws of longing closing around his heart and eliciting a kind of ache he’d never been familiar with. In this life, at least.

He got to see her again. However, isn’t it unfair how they’re still torn apart? His past life was all about his duty and this is no different. In the past, though, which other option did he have? They were at the literal end of the world, with humankind at stake. Now… Things aren’t that straightforward. He isn’t the same. Back then he wasn’t aware of how everything would be despite his sacrifices. He didn’t know how dark and flavorless the world would be due to her absence.

Levi stares up at the hidden stars, concealed by the grayish clouds. He’s so tired—tired of death, of being the one who exerts it to hurt others. Of prioritizing the greater good above his own. He recalls the last years of his current life, the constant coming and going, the numbness of it all. How he kept losing more of his warmth with every kill, because he was killing himself too. Little by little.

Talks about ending this conflict have reached the ears of the general population with mixed opinions. Levi wishes he could step into a room, click a button, and end it all. But he alone can change nothing, that much he does know. Worse, he no longer knows what to do with himself. What’s his purpose?

He is drifting through an uncontrollable, unknown future. And he’s scared. Overwhelmed. Sad. The emotions are so strong they oppress his chest until they prevent the entry of oxygen. He focuses on the stars to anchor himself, those flashing and distant points. In the solid chair beneath him, the fabric gently caressing his skin. In the thick but cool wind against his cheeks and the faint but recognizable scent of traffic, of car exhausting gas.

In the nothingness of everything.

And a notion settles firmly within himself, amongst the out-of-control chaos driving him to panic. It’s true. Nothing he does carries meaning, because in the end it all comes to the same thing—whereas destruction or death. And yet. And yet it does matter, because it matters to him, because he gives it meaning. In that sense, what’s ultimately important are his actions. What he’s done and what he’ll do.

So what will he do?

Saving people, a country, the world. These are good things—no one could argue otherwise. Still, shouldn’t there be more? Maybe, just maybe… Sacrifices are overly glorified.

Levi wants to do good. He does. But he wants to be happy as well, without having to lose more and more parts of himself performing what some people consider ‘things for the greater good’. He doesn’t want to give up the smiles of the ones he loves for more time, and while he doesn’t dare to claim knowledge on the reason he’s here, or what here even is…Shouldn’t this life be a second chance?

History doesn’t need repetition.

Yet, does he possess enough force to give his back to everything he’s known?

Could he be selfish for once in his whole existence?

***

The hallway is brimming with politicians, diplomats, and various ambassadors. They all look so much alike that, to Levi’s eyes, they’re practically clones, with their pristine dark tailored suits, their heads buried in their phones, and their haircuts and mustaches sharing an identical style. Anyone claiming eldians and marleyans are abysmally different should take a look into this room.

Levi leans back onto a wall, at the furthest and most secluded side of the hall—not for tiredness or his health. He’s entirely capable of standing upright, but his energy isn’t currently present. Erwin wanted to show him off as the savior of the world to the WCO visitors, but he solely agreed to attend expecting to meet someone. The faint hope that Hange would come—as she’s the main voice behind these negotiations—is slowly fading. No one but those strutting peacocks is around, talking as if it was a gift, being allowed to hear them out.

“It’s starting,” Erwin tells him.

And Levi wants nothing but to return to his place and sleep for an entire day.

Erwin sits around a massive square table, and Levi follows suit. Lines are clear enough; at one side, with their backs to the clouded light of the picture window covering most of the wall, eldians glare at the marleyans, who return the look with equal force from their front. Then you have the WCO people, looking uncomfortable in the hostile environment.

Not Levi. He’s arms-crossed in the middle of it all, his sight on his cup of tea. He couldn’t care less about the mute aggressions. After nodding to Mike—who just arrived with the WCO guys—he begins mentally recounting every pending task for his upcoming cleaning session. Buy more cleaning supplies, look for a product that removes soot…

“Let’s begin,” the marleyan Queen’s ambassador states; he’s a man with sunken eyes, glasses, and gray hair. “We found your response lacking…”

Levi’s mind disconnects and wanders to other topics. Soon, he must have a conversation with Erwin about his missions, although he doesn’t know what to tell him yet, or if he’ll be capable of doing so. Only that sitting on the side of the people who ordered the death of millions—including his mother—makes him nauseous. And following their decisions once again, more so.

The doors slam open. Everyone’s heads raise at the noise, including Levi’s.

“Ahh… You already started. Sorry for the delay! Something about me having been deported before.”

Hange strides in with a stack of papers under her armpit. And she is… the same. Levi drinks her in, from her messy ponytail to the beads of sweat on her forehead. Her round thin-framed glasses, the green military suit she’s wearing, the apparent clumsiness of her movements while taking a seat in front of him.

Right. In front. Of him.

His spine straightens up and he clutches his cup, forcing his breaths to ease his heartbeats. It’s like he was previously starved, and now he’s full—a sensation that makes him a little self-conscious, to say the least.

Careless of the silence of the room, Hange arranges her papers in front of her. Tilts her gaze up to meet his unwavering one. And she smiles—and what a smile it is. It spreads from her mouth to her eyes and skin and posture. If he held any doubts about how she was going to react to seeing him again, they suddenly evaporate. His breath frees itself from his chest, deflating him but leaving him feeling giddy and light. Without his permission, his mouth mirrors her smile.

“Ahem,” the Queen’s ambassador utters. “May we proceed?”

Hange blinks and shakes her head. “Of course! Zackly, where were you?”

So they continue, coming back to discuss the future of their countries. And once again, Levi doesn’t listen to a single word until the room increases its pitch and he has no other option but to pay attention.

From the head of the table, Pixis steeples his hands at his fore. “It’s outrageous! How do you expect us to agree?”

“How is giving back our spacial station outrageous? It was ours in the first place,” Hange retorts with fire in her eyes. She thereafter goes ahead talking about the most convenient approaches for both nations, making herself heard and shutting down the others’ arguments. Levi doesn’t think he’s ever met someone so expressive and clever, yet good-natured at the same time. It might be an effect of the yellowish light from the lamps scattered across the table, but while speaking her mind, she appears to be glowing.

The meeting extends for another two hours. Two hours of Levi getting butt numb and filling himself with the view of someone he never anticipated to miss scarcely months ago.

“We are taking a break,” an old man next to Pixis says. “Ten minutes.”

Everyone raises to their feet and approaches the door. Upon crossing the threshold with Pixis and his retinue, Erwin shoots him a sideways glare. Mikes gives him a thumbs-up before going out with his coworkers, and shortly, the room is empty. Except for them.

Levi stands up and loosens his uncomfortable tie while Hange gathers her papers together, looking flustered.

“I didn’t expect to see your shitty glasses here,” Levi says, chewing the lie. “How… How have you been?” Why haven’t you called me back?

“Just… busy.” She rocks on her heels and moves to the picture window, which shows the suddenly dazzling and almost blinding sunlight. “Like you, I suppose. How are your wounds? I was afraid they were lying to me and you weren’t fine at all. But you are. Haha.” She hugs the stack of papers against her chest. Folds and unfolds the tip of the last sheet with her fingers.

“You asked about me?”

“Well, yes,” she says as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“I’ve called you,” he discloses, trying really hard not to make it sound like an accusation, and totally failing. He wipes his damp palms on his pants to avoid the impact of his words up front. “They said you were out of reach.” He shoves his hands into his pants pockets. “And then I talked with Mike, who said you weren’t answering him either. I thought…” You weren’t talking only to me. “… we wouldn’t meet again.” An oddly depressing idea.

“I thought I should give you some time.” She switches her weight from one foot to the other. “You got hurt because of me, and… Shadis is alright, by the way. Recovering just fine.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“It is.” Hange nods many times. “Actually, I came here to talk to you.” She sighs. “I didn’t know you were going to come here, though, so I’m unprepared. I hoped they’d let me out enough time to go looking for your place after the meeting.” She lowers her head. “I was being over-optimistic. I ain’t allowed out of this building and must go straight to my hotel and then to the airport tomorrow. You’d think teaming with them in the past would soften them, but…”

He nods, knowing his people all too well. She sneaked from their view once, after all. War or peace, they won’t take any more risks that pertain to her.

“That I got hurt wasn’t your fault…” He begins, but his eyes widen after replaying her words. “How did you know I live here?”

“Oh, isn’t it obvious? Err—maybe not. You live on the south coast and must be in constant communication with Erwin, who lives here… in this city on the south coast… which is also the center of many government buildings…” She jerks a shoulder. “Quite easy.”

“If you put it like that…”

Hange encounters his eyes. “I wanted to tell you— I know things have been weird and that we still have a long way to go as countries. Our nations continue to be in not-the-best-of-terms, but… I was wondering if you’d want to… I don’t know. Meet me in the middle and get to know me better? Nothing big, just go out with me like, someday?”

Levi’s muted, any possible reply stuck in his paralyzed throat.

Her face falls. “You don’t want to.” She plasters a smile over her face, yet her eyes glint with disappointment. “Of course, I understand. It’s fine. Even if the conflict ends, it’s not like eldians will suddenly want to trade hugs with a vicious marleyan, right? So I’ll just… go.” She tosses her thumb over her shoulder. Her smile grows bitter. “… See you later.”

No… I can’t let her go again. His body reacts before his brain, and he reaches out for her hand, taking hold of it at the last second. She turns back at him, expectant.

“Four-eyes, I—”

“It’s time,” a man announces, clapping from the doorway.

The meeting attendees pour back into the room, bringing the noise from their conversations with them. Hange bites her lower lip and lets go of his hand before coming back to the table. His heart shrinks while looking at her shape drifting away. He retakes his previous seat; at his front, Hange keeps rolling a piece of paper between her fingers, purposefully avoiding his gaze.

It’s not like he doesn’t want to. It’s only… terrifying. He never allowed himself to truly consider the possibility, and now… Can he?

Not if he stays working as an eldian agent.

If they never sign a treaty, he might be sent to attack and sabotage her people again. Even if they do agree on peace, nothing guarantees they won’t keep trying to have the upper hand in other aspects—that’s how the ones possessing this kind of power work, using people like him as insignificant pawns in their schemes. To this day, they’ve guarded the safety of his people, and that’s why he worked for them—or he thought they did. Recalling his mother’s death, it’s evident they haven’t done that, not when it didn’t align with their interests. But giving his back to what his mother stood for... It’s not easy.

His entire life, he’s been doing what his duty demands, other people always knowing best what that entailed. He doesn’t want to do that anymore, to perform what his duty as a soldier or as an agent demands because of the greater good. To waste yet another day stuck in this never-ending loop of duty and hate and death. He craves to choose himself, if only once.

Levi succeeds at catching Hange’s hazel eyes and holds them. He’s seen some of her worst moments and she’s seen his. And still, despite every flaw he’s able to point out, he only finds her breathtaking. When did she even start crawling underneath his skin? He gives her a faint smile, and hesitantly, she returns it, the way she invariably does.

In essence, she’s the same Hange Zoe she’s always been, and he refuses to think of a future without her ever again. Not for another meaningless war, nor for a duty for which he already devoted his whole life once.

The meeting ends with the accord of maintaining an indefinite calm and keep trying to come to a treaty. The results don’t improve a lot, but it’s nevertheless a step forward. With both parts open to it, Levi hopes it’s bound to happen.

Erwin moves in the direction of the press conference about to start, in which they’ll inform the world of the results of the meeting.

“Erwin,” Levi shouts, his voice steady regardless of his racing heart palpitations. He straightens his tie. When he has Erwin’s attention, he informs him, “I… I’m retiring.”

Erwin snaps his head to him. “Excuse me?”

“Even if the war continues, I won’t be here for it. I want to be out.”

“You can’t—”

“Why not?

The sole thought of resuming his missions has his insides quivering in anxiety. Reluctance overwhelms him, and he clenches the hems of his suit to hold himself into place. He will no longer be part of this war. He won’t fight Hange. He refuses to be her enemy or a weapon used against innocent people ever again.

“The war isn’t over and I thought you wanted to end it. Eldia needs you.”

“I’ve done enough for Eldia and nothing for myself… I think it’s time I do it.”

And I can’t do this any longer. I won’t survive. He deserves a life devoid of death and fights and blood. Even if he doesn’t, he’ll work for it. The rest of his life is spreading out in front of him, and he wants to enjoy the ride without ignoring his feelings and desires for a change.

Erwin looks around, the weak sound of flashes and yells filtering in from outside. “We better talk about this later.” He resumes his way with Levi on his heels. He won’t leave this building until being officially discharged.

They go out through a door that leads to an esplanade with reporters all around. The sun is dipping below the horizon, tinting the clouds to an almost pinkish hue. Levi stays to a side, careful of keeping his distance from the crowd, as he hates this sort of conglomeration. Upfront, Zackly says a few words to the microphone before the hundreds of flashes, followed by Pixis.

Time ago, Pixis’ speeches used to shake him to his core. He seemed so tall, so almighty, so wise... Now his figure is barely different from everyone else’s. Pixis’ political words no longer retain his attention; it’s instead stolen by something far more important at the back of the crowd. Hange. Her leg is kicking the floor in what looks like boredom.

Erwin steps towards the microphone and shares information about the meeting and more tiresome stuff like that. Levi’s ear perks up when he detects his name.

“... the famous agent Ackerman who is with me,” Erwin declares. Even when he doesn’t point at Levi, the aforementioned freezes in horror. What is he doing? Doesn’t he know how dangerous it is to bring out his name in something that will reach millions of screens? “He alone prevented the final strike of the terrorists who attacked the world a few months ago. He recently recovered from his multiple wounds, but as an exemplary eldian, he’s already on his feet and back with us.” Murmurs of approval rise like a wave through the audience. “This is an example of what we eldians can accomplish on our own...”

Levi’s mind spirals. Did he just hear what he thinks he just heard? He grinds his teeth. No, he can’t let his people believe more lies than they already do. Being in the background as he is, he still maintains his anonymity, but… he’s retiring, isn’t he? What’s the point of living in the shadows in the future?

Stumping, Levi steps forward, giving up his precious anonymity. He seizes the microphone and clears his throat. Erwin sends him a glare, but on camera, he allows him space and doesn’t ask what the hell he’s doing. Good thing, as Levi himself doesn’t know.

The face of his mother—pale and delicate, her long dark hair falling on her shoulders—comes to his mind as he looks at the confused faces in the audience, journalists and eldians and androids waiting for him to speak. Many times, his mother was part of that audience, and all she wanted was the best for them. She genuinely believed that would be achieved with Levi as an agent, but she was mistaken. She was only human, thus he can’t blame her for that. But finally, he understands that in the end, his mother would have agreed with what he’s about to do. She’d support it, even.

For the first time since that explosion took her from him, he feels completely clear-headed and airy. Levi steels himself and tightens his grip on the mic.

“Uhh... Hello.” The microphone makes a long, deafening beep that shakes everyone. “Sorry. Err, Erwin’s right. I am Ackerman and I helped the WCO end the global threat, but do you know who else did it?” Levi gestures behind him. “Her name is Hange Zoe, and believe it or not, she’s from Marley.” With one hand, he motions for her to come closer. Her facial muscles turn into stone, and after a second, she purses her lips and moves toward him.

Hange stops by his side and slides her glasses higher up on her nose. “Good afternoon, Eldia.” She seems to be speechless for a moment. Her hand reaches out to the air beside her, and Levi laces his fingers into hers, their hands joined together before every camera. He doesn’t let his mind delve into that. She takes a deep breath in and squares her shoulders.

“It’s a pleasure to be here with you,” Hange utters. “What Agent Ackerman said is true... We did it together. As you know, relations between Marley and Eldia have never been easy. Truth be told, for many centuries Marley has been the one to blame, but just as you aren’t the eldians of the past, we aren’t those people who wanted to take over the world at any cost…”

Hange continues speaking, injecting so much vigor into her voice that Levi can’t tear his eyes away from her. He wonders if, like him, everyone else can see how bright the light she holds inside is. She talks about dreams, but also, about ways to grasp them, and Levi’s mind enlarges in inspiration with her words. Maybe he doesn’t have to remain an agent to stop this. Maybe he can help to attain peace in other ways. Contributing in such a way may only represent a minuscule gram in the overall picture, but not because something is small it’s less valuable. Without the little, the big would never come to exist.

Among the desolate and dusky streets of his life, the days he spent working with Hange have been a pole light—which now convert into an entire sun pointing him in the right direction. As if, when he found her, he’d also found himself.

Hange walks away from the microphone, looking as if she wanted nothing more than to melt into the floor. Together, both recede to a corner, from where Levi eyes Erwin. He can see the angered lines on his forehead and the fury in those frozen-blue eyes with sheer clarity, and expects him to snap the second this ends.

“Why did you do that?” Hange mutters next to him. “You’ll get punished.”

“I’ll resign anyway.”

Hange opens her mouth and closes it. Opens it again. “You… What?!”

“Why is that so surprising?”

“You’re the one who would’ve volunteered to kiss Pixis’ shoes if requested.”

Levi clicks his tongue. He wouldn’t have gone that far… Likely.

Suddenly, a push shoves him to a recluse corner in the back of the esplanade. He finds himself leaning against a wall with a furious Erwin and his gritted teeth hovering over him. His heart thuds in his chest, apprehension and anger mixing with his blood.

“What the fuck?” Levi barks.

“What the fuck are you doing?” Erwin yells. That leaves Levi stunned. Erwin doesn’t curse. Never. “Do you know what Pixis just ordered me? To fire you! All because of your stupidity! If you wanted to quit, fine. But with this you wiped out any chance of getting referrals for yourself. It will be as if you had never done anything in your life!”

Beneath the fury, Levi detects traces of concern in him. A deep furrow tangles on Levi’s forehead. “So?”

Come to think of it, Levi likes the idea. A clean slate where he can start from scratch. It may be more challenging, but... it’s liberating to get rid of a past he isn’t proud of.

“How can you be so calm? Do you ever think about what your mother would have wanted? She was constantly worried about you, and with this sh—”

“She would’ve wanted the best for me.” In the end, she would have. He’s certain.

“Exactly. And this isn’t it. You’re ruining your life. What are you going to do now? You’ve never done anything but follow orders, and you just spoke in front of international cameras about who you are. Don’t you know you have enemies everywhere? They won’t let you live in peace. More importantly, will you be able to live in peace with yourself knowing how selfishly you’re behaving?”

Levi’s shoulders sag lower and lower with each strike of Erwin’s truths. He’s right... Though it’s hard for Levi to admit it. If he dares to live another life, wouldn’t he be dragging those around him into those difficulties?

Fear clogs his throat painfully.

“You really like talking nonsense,” a voice disrupts the grim future looming before Levi’s eyes. He turns to Mike, who is sauntering toward them with his hands in his pants pockets. “The world isn’t so small that a short person like him can’t drop off the radar if he wants it. And even if he’s recognized... there won’t be any major problems.”

“Oh, really?” Erwin arches an unbelieving bushy brow at Mike.

“That’s right. Because next to him there will be people willing to stand for him. Friends. True friends. Not friends”—Mike makes air quotes when saying the last bit—“who claim to be worried just to manipulate him into feeling however they wish."

Erwin says nothing, and keeps saying nothing when Mike pats Levi on the back and encourages him to follow him. After a heartbeat of hesitation, Levi clenches his fists and walks off, leaving a still silent Erwin behind.

They halt a step from rejoining the crowd. “You all right?”

Levi shrugs. He has no idea. His throat hasn’t yet recovered from the negative emotions he just developed. He does his best to swallow them. He hasn’t yet succeeded by the time Hange materializes from a side and gives him a little push with her arm.

“Hey. Where were you? I suddenly turned around and you were gone.” Her tone is light, but Levi can tell some tension brews underneath. ‘Is everything alright?’ is her actual question.

And it suddenly is. Levi inflates his lungs with the cool afternoon air and drives any hint of worry out of his body. He’s feeling much better altogether. Mike’s hand patting his back also provides some warmth. Friend. Can Levi really consider him as such?

“He ate something funny,” Mike explains, smirking. “I was only being a good person by aiding him in such a precarious state.”

Levi wags his finger. “Mike drank too much in the meeting. I was the one trying to protect the valuable eldian corners from Mike’s pee.”

Hange doesn’t seem to buy their excuse, but limits to shake her head with a smile.

Erwin reappears and frowns at the sight of the trio. He strides in their direction, and almost protectively, Hange takes a step toward Levi. Levi’s abruptly aware of the barrier she and Mike form around him, the circle he seems to be part of. He can’t stop the corner of his mouth from curling, sweet heat radiating from his chest. Erwin ignores them, but Levi doesn’t care at this moment. Maybe later he will.

It doesn’t take long for the multitude to disperse along with the other ministers. Even Mike waves them goodbye before rushing off to the rest of the WCO visitors. Levi and Hange should head off, too, but he finds his limbs reluctant to move away. So, for once, he doesn’t fight them and lets himself be.

He glances at the sky and an idea pops up in his head. It’s against the rules, but… “I want to show you something.”

Her eyes acquire a curious glow, and right then and there, Levi knows he made the correct choice.

Weary of whoever could remain around, he motions for her to follow him and leads her through a network of corridors to the rear of the building. They come to a room with nothing but office supplies, in which Levi takes out his identification card. He slides it through the electronic lock until a green light turns on.

The door opens onto a narrow street full of garbage cans. He looks back at the camera resting in a corner. “We better hurry up. They must have noticed us by now.”

They jog down the street and pass several blocks, the cool wind blessing Levi’s hot skin.

“I feel like a criminal,” Hange gasps when she comes to a halt after him. “Isn’t it weird I’ve never felt like this before, not even when I knocked you down and ran away?”

“You won’t go to jail for violating the limits of your permission by some blocks,” he assures. I hope so, at least. “And we’re here.”

They round a corner.

Hange’s mouth falls open, her gaze lost in awe at the huge old trees, whose leafy branches hang down to them. Levi unlocks a rusty metal gate with a squeak, and a road stretches out before them, boarded by grass and trees four times his size. Hange’s eyes are round as they move forward, mesmerized by the greenness of the entire landscape, sometimes adorned with pink or yellow dots—flowers that are mere buds waiting to bloom.

They arrive at a circular area with stone benches and a working fountain in the center. Fortunately, at this hour the place is devoid of people—which Levi already knew would be.

“Before becoming an agent and moving to this zone, my mother used to take me here whenever we visited the city. We used to feed the pigeons,” he says, looking at the birds pecking the ground around them.

“This is… beautiful,” she exhales, rolling on her heels to look at everything. “I never knew this existed. But again”—she smiles— “I never expected Eldia to hold so many surprises inside.”

Hange explores around for the minutes to follow, until she’s too tired and flumps next to him on a bench. It has some flowers carved on the back, and it’s clean and fresh and somewhat comfortable. Levi’s muscles relax and his mind flutters away, lulled by her presence at his side, the sound of birds singing, and the light wind caressing his skin. The sky is of a glittering dark purple, the lamps overhead illuminating the rows of trees lined around.

“I’m Levi,” he blurts out.

“Uh?”

“I mean, my real name is Levi. Magically, you got it right at first chance.”

She lets out a laugh and reclines to look up. “You know? It’s going to sound crazy—Nana told me so when I told her, but…” She looks at him out of the corner of her eye, as if deciding if she should tell him. Quite pointlessly, as Levi can’t recall a time when Hange Zoe was able to withhold something from him for long.

Seeming overcome by the words piling up in her mouth, she lets out a loud sigh. “When I was a child, after I lost my family, I used to feel so lonely and sad every day. And I… I started having these bizarre dreams of people I didn’t know.” Levi narrows his eyes at her. “In the back of my mind, I knew terrible things were happening to the people in those dreams, but waking up I only remembered the feelings of belonging and support. How at home and safe I felt. And most of the time, it was always with the same person, a grumpy man with little to no expressions, but a gentle heart. He instantly became my first crush,” she laughs.

Levi squirms. Could it be—? His phone rings and he takes it out to turn it off. Erwin is looking for them.

Unbothered by the interruption, Hange remains abstracted in memories. “In those years, he and Mr. Sonny helped me to get back to the road. I always thought it was something my imagination created to help me to cope… but then, he was there!” Humor and light radiate from her, making her smile gleam. “Imagine my surprise when I looked at the man who was about to shoot me dead and saw the very same face from my dreams. Just there, the person I wished to meet the most, with a gun to my face! My shitty luck, of course. I didn’t know what to do, but I… I just couldn’t kill you.”

“You were an idiot for not doing it.” If his body hadn’t reacted like that, if she hadn’t been fast enough, if the explosion hadn’t come… He can’t even picture harming her, now. “But thank you.”

“Aren’t you weirded out by what I’m saying?” She asks, tilting her head to a side. He jerks a shoulder, unsure of what to share, as he knows everything about it. It all feels too massive to summarize in some sentences. Perhaps in the future and with more time, he’ll tell her everything. “Well,” she keeps going, “then I got to work with you and, strangely, after a while I started feeling the same way I did in my dreams… at home.” Red spots color her cheekbones. “Ahem. Is that silly?”

No. I felt the same.

“Yes,” he replies. “But… I get it.”

“The entire time I was trying to discover if inside that nonchalant façade was the man I saw in my dreams.”

Levi crosses and uncrosses his legs. “… And?”

“And he was. And some.” She darts her gaze away from him. He feels himself glow from the inside out. Speaking as if she was in a race, and almost as an afterthought, she adds, “Now is the moment I ask if you thought about going out someday…”

His neck hardens, a hot layer covering his face. “Y—You said you don’t like dating.” He recalls her words in order to calm down the flapping in his stomach. “You said you were too busy.”

“Work should decrease in the future. We’ve progressed towards peace more than ever, which is a beginning...”

“Right.”

She doesn’t mention the lack of answers on his part. “What will you do when peace arrives, now that you’ll be unemployed?”

“Nothing.” He won’t, finally, have a responsibility to live for, which is frightening and exciting in equal amounts. “I’ll try not to fix the world’s wrongs anymore.” Not that much, at least.

Hange ponders his words. “That’s okay. And afterward?”

“I don’t know.” He hasn’t given it too much thought. He craves to do thousands of things, but at the same time, only a small number matters for real. “I want a tea shop and to help people, though I still have to figure out how...”

“Interesting. Well, mmm… I want a lab, in that case. I want to reborn more of these precious.” She waves a hand at the plants circling them. Above them, night has made its way to the sky. “Oh! And I want to own a library!”

“Okay. We can have one next to the tea shop. It would be a nice touch.”

“Yay!” She claps. “And we must have a door connecting both places!”

“Sure.” His gaze locks on hers, suspending her into place. “If you want it, we will. We’ve done enough to deserve it.”

He looks at her swallowing.

“You’re right.”

Right now, a more uninhibited person would lean in for a kiss, which Levi is anything but. Nevertheless… For the first time, he’s acting completely out of character, taking a path he never before dared to. Maybe he can do something else he desires. Can be spontaneous, if only for a minute?

Levi lifts his hand and, with one finger, traces the edges of Hange’s face, hitching her breath. His heart pounds hard against his ears, warmth spreading throughout him. Her eyes fixate on his mouth, and a shiver travels through his back. Her hot skin against his fingertips feels soft and pleasant.

He cups her face, covering her cheek, and she closes her eyes as he leans in. His lips brush hers as weightless as the moonlight above them, thousands of sensations releasing in overload. Her scent floods his nostrils, earthy and inherently hers. The press of their lips is firm and curious, a perfect burst of heat among the chilly night air. A rush of pleasure runs along his body and envelops him whole in warmth and bliss.

It’s intoxicating and addictive. He can’t figure out what to do with his hands, so he brings her closer and tangles one in her hair, deepening the kiss. Savors her, drunk in satisfaction, in her taste and the sensation of her chest pressing against his, the ardor in this.

They part between gasps, and Hange snuggles to his side, exuding warmth to his coldness. Her head rests on his shoulder and he takes a deep breath, drowsiness engulfing him, his heart calm and steady. At ease.

He tips his head up to the stars shining against the darkness, the ones never ceasing to beam no matter how their surroundings lack any light.

“Those stars there look like an arch…” Hange points up.

His eyes flutter shut. It’s unsettling, yet amazing, to do this with her beside him. He spent so many nights staring at the sky, wanting to see it with her again, longing for a place where they could meet in another life. And here they are. Finally.

Eventually, they’ll have to venture back to reality. He’ll have to mind what to do next and how to be around her without endangering anyone. But for tonight, he’ll delay it all as much as he can.  

A chopping sound deafens them just as a helicopter flies over their heads.

“I think they found us,” she spouts, her hair ruffling with the air. Even with her disheveled hair, she looks stunning, her rosy cheeks visible under the helicopter’s lights. He doesn’t want to leave; rather, to stay under the night with her by his side a little longer… Thinking about it, it sounds like an excellent idea.

He jumps to his feet and offers her a hand. “I know where to hide for a little while.”

A laugh catches in her throat. “Ohhh, and adventure? With a chase? I’m in!” She clasps his hand and he hauls her up, making her crash against his chest.

“Let’s go.”

Squeezing her hand, he runs off, pulling her with him. His heart swells with happiness, the most he recalls ever feeling. For once, the idea of going to his apartment doesn’t shoot dullness to his core, but excitement. She laughs behind him, and it’s so contagious that he does, too. He never thought that running away together would be so much fun, but with her, perhaps any circumstance would end up qualifying as pleasant.

Having always moved according to what was demanded of him and what he could give to the world, acting for his own sake feels new and liberating—a feeling he never met before. It’s almost as if wings could appear from his back and propel him up to the sky at any second, and it would be only natural. Here and now, Levi commits to making this feeling routine.

He desires happiness, peace, and fulfillment. Wants to do a monotonous job and come back home with complaints about the people he met that day, only to find himself drained in the joy of Hange’s arms. Or maybe just stay in their home and clean until she’s back from working on her research. Either way, he’ll do his best to make it happen—to keep her smile and the color in her cheeks from never fading. To live together with her, in a cabin in the woods or in the midst of a metropolis or on another planet. No matter where, he longs for that kind of future with her. And this time and from now on, he’ll live it every day.

Stepping away from the kind of responsibility people like them bear might be selfish and not the noble thing to do. But they have done that already.

Out of the prison of the duty that used to keep them apart, now they have their entire lives ahead and the freedom to live them as they please.

They get to fully enjoy their second chance, beginning today.