#nice girls don't date dead men

[pixiesndberries]

𝐃𝐄𝐀𝐑 𝐅𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄 𝐇𝐔𝐒𝐁𝐀𝐍𝐃, 𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐌𝐄𝐍 —

a small series of Jujutsu Kaisen men as your husband !

☆ OUR STARS : Gojo Satoru, Nanami Kento, Geto Suguru, Choso Kamo, Aoi Todo, Toji Fushiguro, and more !

━ REQUESTED BY : none

━⁠ WARNINGS : none

ෆ PIXIE'S NOTE ! : were back again at daily posting 🙏🏻 to my pookies who supported me, y'all made me giggle and kickin' my feet in my bed last night 👉🏻👈🏻 love lots!

GOJO SATORU, as your husband !

• Gojo being your husband is no different from being your boyfriend — he still gotta be that same person you dated few years ago, though he became more serious about situations and decisions because you guys are married but his goofy, annoying, clingy side is still there — I mean when he met you and been with you for like two weeks your caller name is already set as 'wifey'.

Gojo who totally acts like a mom when you leave for work, he is like a freaking HOUSEWIFE —

"honey!" he sings as he walks into the living room seeing you brush your hair Infront of the mirror, getting ready for work. "hmm?" you responded and quickly turns your head at him — he's wearing a this is what an awesome husband looks like apron which made you too stunned to speak, "I created a bento for you." he smiles as he hands out a nicely wrapped bento box which was really new to you because it's always you who keep creating bentos for him, usually when he leaves for a mission.

"thank you, honey." you say softly with a warm smile as you accept his bento that he specially created for you, he can't help but to feel like a love sick teenager seeing you smile like that. He officially takes the position of being a housewife 🫡

Gojo who couldn't stop talking about the future he wants with you like nonstop — this man would talk about having three million carbon copy of him with you and would name them after megumi, yuji, nanami and basically all of his friends, students, and dead relatives 🏃🏻‍♀️💨 — I FEEL LIKE HE GOTTA BE THAT TYPE OF PERSON.

Gojo always flexes you everyday and YOU are his hyper fixation — argue with the wall, he gotta be the type of man to say "she's my wife." randomly when he's talking to an old friend he haven't seen for a long time. HE WILL BE THE HUSBAND WHO YOU WILL SEE WEARING "I LOVE MY WIFE" TYPE OF SHIRT WITH THE UGLIEST FONT AND PHOTO TEMPLATE EVER. Once a person mentions your name he ain't gonna shut the fuck up.

I just know this marriage go'n be like Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively's relationship 🙏🏻 ABSOLUTELY RANDOM TEXTS FROM HIM, UPDATING YOU TOO MUCH.

2:32 pm

gojo : shitting at the mall cuz i don't have anywhere to shit on.

gojo : [sent an attachment]

gojo : i miss you my wife, my beautiful wife.

gojo : [sent an attachment]

gojo : [sent an attachment]

gojo : your very handsome husband ❤️

2:40 pm

you : stop spamming me messages love, im at work 🙏🏻

gojo : why? is it turning you on 😏

you : that's a photo of your feet.

Gojo who became a seriously hands on person when you told him that you're pregnant — when he has missions with yuji, megumi, or maybe nobara and you told him that you're very tired to do anything today he will be like,"okay kids, I got to go I have important things to do." and dashed away before they could say something and mf arrived at yalls house within a second.

Gojo who cried when he carry his baby for the first time, he was sobbing like hell — girl dad? boy dad? BRO HE IS BOTH ‼️ "okay we'll name this one suguru and this one-" he is going to come up with the most ridiculous names, probably the worst one was his dead ancestor.

okay seriously, Gojo would be a full time dad after his children were born — he will always stay at home as much as he can, having twins isn't easy plus he's trying to help you with his full power and make sure you don't feel alone through this.

"gojo.." you grumble as you felt his presence disappearing next to you at bed, you open your eyes and sees he wasn't there which led you to stand up and start looking for him — you walk out of the bedroom and noticed that the twin's bedroom door was open so you check it out.

in your suprise, gojo was in the rocking chair with the twin's in his arms peacefully sleeping and he is snoring like hell. You can't help but smile seeing this moment, it warms you heart. You quickly grabbed your phone and took a quick photo, this is what you exactly wished for.

Gojo who couldn't stop posting you and his little angels and his fans are absolutely living for it, it's like his day wouldn't complete without posting cute photos of his angels and of course, you as well. Gojo is indeed a Facebook mom —

; gojosatoru

tagged : @y/n.instagram | fam time 🤍 !

liked by megumi.22 and 8,957 others

itaaa.yuji | I volunteer as a tribute to babysit them 🫡

nobaraaa | CUTIES.

shokoleiri.7 | adorbs

─ REBLOGS, LIKES, AND COMMENTS ARE APPRECIATED FEEL FREE TO REQUEST!

[ddejavvu]

I’d love to see a jake seresin x secret wife au. The dagger squad doesn’t realize he’s married until Phoenix invites reader out to the bar with them! Thanks you’re the best!!

You're reminded just how little you know Natasha when she invites you out for drinks, and you end up at the bar adjacent to the naval base. You've been inside only once with Jake before, when you were still dating and he was going through training at top gun. Now he's a graduate, and the place brings back fond memories. You've chatted, of course, when she stops by for breakfast at the bakery you work for, but you've never discussed her career before.

"Hope you don't mind we're close to base," She grins, "My friends wanted to meet here, and I get free drinks 'cause the bartender likes me. They have this bell system to embarrass all the assholes here, and I think I ring it more than she does."

"I've been here before," You admit, tentatively grabbing her arm as she weaves through the crowd, "My husband and I came here once, a long time ago. I don't think the bartender was a woman, though."

"She just bought the place a few years ago," Natasha nods, sliding onto a stool at the bar, "Careful, don't put your phone on the bar."

You tuck the device safely away in your pocket as a brunette woman turns to you, a sweet smile on her face as she recognizes Natasha.

"Hey, Phe," She hums, and you don't have time to ask what the nickname means, "Brought a friend?"

"I'm Y/N," You introduce yourself, noting that they seem like close friends, "It's nice to meet you. I'm Penny."

You nod and beam at her when she offers you an identical bottle of beer to the one Natasha takes. You decline, though, ordering your usual instead. Jake's out with his friends tonight, but he's pledged to be a responsible drinker in case you need to be picked up from your girls' night.

"Can I get, uh," Natasha peers through the crowd, turning back when you assume she's found her target, "Five more?"

"Fanboy's got one already," Penny hums, taking four chilled bottles from beneath the counter, "You want help carrying them?"

"We're good!" You wrap one hand around two bottles, trusting Natasha to lead you towards her friends in the hectic crowd. You don't remember it being this busy when you'd come with Jake, maybe the new management really helped.

She treks you all the way over to a pool table along the wall, where a few men in jeans and t-shirts are huddled. You're taken by surprise, though you're not sure why. You'd automatically assumed her friends would be women, and you wonder if that's concerning. Possible internal bias aside, you smile at the men who stand to greet you.

"Hello," You wave, handing off beers to the two that meet you first,"I'm Y/N, you're Natasha's friends?"

"We are," A tall man grins, holding a hand out for you to shake now that it's not wrangling beers, "I'm Reuben. But you can call me Payback, if you want."

Natasha still has one of the beers in her hands, and you hear the man beside her, who she greets as Fanboy, mention something about the bathroom. Apparently you still have someone to meet.

You refocus on Reuben, "Payback," You tilt your head slightly to the side, "Is that a callsign? Are you a pilot?"

"We all are," The man who'd taken the other beer from you nods along with Payback, a burnt red mustache on his lip, "Natasha's is Phoenix. And I'm Rooster."

Your stomach drops.

"Wait, uh- Rooster? And- and Phoenix, and Payback," Your head spins slightly with recollections of Jake's crazy work stories, and you take a step back, "Are you- you're all stationed to this base?"

"Temporarily," Rooster frowns, "Hey, are you okay?"

"My husband-" You don't get the words out before he emerges from the bathroom, stopping dead in his tracks with a furrow in his brow that wrinkles his forehead.

"Darlin'?" He calls, just loud enough to be heard over the music.

"Jake?" You're equally incredulous, "I- these are the friends you're going out with?"

"Yeah, I-" He wanders closer, still at a general loss for words, "You know Phoenix?"

"Natasha gets breakfast at the bakery," You breathe, now that he's close enough to hear your dumbfounded murmur. You have an audience, but you don't care, not as Jake's confused expression melts into a sheepish smile.

"Well, small world. You look stunning tonight, honey."

"Thanks," You grin bashfully, keeping one hand on your drink and using the other to cup his cheek, tugging him down into a quick kiss. No matter how chaste it is, it gets a reaction.

"Oh," Fanboy gawps, "You're- her husband? You- Hangman, dude, you're married?"

"I am," Jake hums, ringing an arm around your waist and taking the beer from Natasha that she's too shock-stricken to hand to him. He pops the cap off on the edge of the pool table, bringing the fizzing mouth to his lips for a swig. He swallows, "Six years and counting."

"You're married to Hangman," Natasha- er, Phoenix repeats, "You married him?"

"Uh, I did," You laugh, twisting the ring on your finger.

"He never wears a ring," Rooster narrows his eyes at Jake accusatorily, "What, you're keeping her hidden away or something?"

"No," Jake scoffs, "It kept getting dirty when I was doing maintenance on my jet. I keep it on my dog tags, Bradshaw."

He brandishes the chain with both his ID and wedding band on it, and Rooster takes a swig of beer in response.

"How the hell was I supposed to know that, man? I don't stare at your chest in the locker room."

"Well you're missin' out," Jake drawls, turning to grin at you, "Ain't that right, honey?"

"Jake," You hiss, "Not here!'

"Oh, don't get all fussy. Most of these guys have seen my dick," He waves a dismissive hand in the air, nearly spilling his beer. You swear you hear someone mumble, 'unfortunately', but Jake drowns them out, "They don't care if we flirt. Hey, whaddya say we sharpen up those pool skills of yours?"

"Alright," You nod, letting him lead you over to the table, "Natasha, can you hold my drink?"

She takes it like it's her duty to protect you, even though your big strong husband has just bent you over the pool table. It takes you a few tries to be able to hit the ball at all with your clumsy grip on the cue, but when it finally cascades the colorful targets around the table, Jake whoops, landing a congratulatory smack to your ass that his friends groan at.

"Nice goin', darlin'. Gonna beat Bradshaw into the ground in no time."

[hamilando]

ੈ✩ onlysainz (smau) ੈ✩

pairing :carlos sainz x fem reader ( piastri best friend )

summary : the admin chooses red

fc: Thylane Léna-Rose Loubry Blondeau

a/n : This is the series end, I know it was a short one , I might make a prologue though ! it was requested anonymously, thank you for requesting it 🫶🏻

·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ･ ✩ ･ﾟ ･ﾟ·:｡･ﾟﾟ

liked by norizz, ospastry, chillijr and 137 others

mcynburger why are all men in my life clean shaved ?

view comments

ospastry what now

mcynburger NO, YOU LOOK NICE, YOU DONT GROW ONE

mcynburger Wait, I forgot, YOU CANT EVEN GROW ONE 🫶🏻

norizz 👀

mcynburger PLEASE BET THE GOATEE BACK

norizz oh come on

mcynburger I will set you up with max

norizz done, threw out my razor

max1 excuse me what !?

max1 I AM LOYAL

mcynburger just like you are to red bull 💪🏻

georgey if toto begged me to join like that -

max1 you don’t have 3 wdc now, do you ?

hamsandwich you say that in front of me ?

chillijr hermosa? you like my beard ?

mcynburger LIKE!? LOVE 🧡

mcynburger ask oscar how much love it on you

lordperceval or me

alexmieux I know the sexual fantasies as well

mcynburger ALEXANDRA SAINT MIEUX

mcynburger Well, I won’t say no THE CARLOS SAINZ

albono don’t let love distract you from your target

lilyhye 💀

mcynburger Mate, go have some pad-thai

chillijr wait, if I ask you out you won’t say no?

mcynburger I would be mad if I do

liked by chillijr, ospastry, alexmieux, max1 and 167 others

mcynburger onlyfans ❌ onlysainz ✅

view comments

ospastry WHY IS THERE SO MUCH NAKEDNESS

ospastry y'all so nasty

mcynburger it was hot 🔥

norizz I think I just stumbled on pornhub-

mcynburger THIS IS A CHILD FRIENDLY ACCOUNT

norizz SAYS THE LADY POSTING NAKED SELFIES

lordperceval this is literally my daily view

lordperceval I pray I become Carlos’ boyfriend in next lifetime

alexmieux stay at his house only then

alexmieux also, did you do the dishes ?

lordperceval I could eat off you …?

norizz Oh Lord, this is not your OF

chillijr I look good 👍🏻

mcynburger you always do 🥺

max1 and I thought it was not obvious they love each other

lordperceval you both fucked on first date

mcynburger not the first time 🤭

alexmieux COME TO GC LIKE RIGHT NOW !?

alexmieux YOU GET THAT SMALL ASS RIGHT HERE

chillijr it's not small -

lilyhye if you want the girl gc to approve, stay shut carlos

chillijr it’s not like you guys are going tell y/n to break up

carmenvroom where tf is she !?

chillijr in my bed, sleeping 😴

liked by user1, user2, user3 and 2,754,389 others

mclaren a well deserved podium for the constructors 🧡💪🏻 congratulations @ scuderiaferrari

view comments

user1 PAPAYA FAMILY

user2 why do I feel admin sneaked someone ?

user3 admin fangirling over Ferrari?

user4 admin, Spanish or French 🗿

mclaren Spanish any day 😗

user5 admin is simping over a certain someone

mclaren ssh 🤫 we don't let it go out.

user6 I think the admin has gained another bother 🙂‍↕️

mclaren * blocked *

user7 CHAT, ADMIN IS LETTING PERSONAL FEELINGS SHOW

user8 admin forgetting this is the main account

user9 I swear I only follow mclaren for the admin content

user10 admin right tho, who would not simp over Carlos !?

landonorris me

liked by chillijr, alexmieux, lordperceval and 160 others

mcynburger one red mcfreak please 🔥🎸

view comments

ospastry I see dead people..

ospastry YOU BETRAYED ME

ospastry WHERE IS THE TROPHY !? SHE GOES RUNNING TO HIM

ospastry SOMEBODY THAT I USED TO KNOW

ospastry You were my sun, you were my earth

norizz you just googled that -

norizz the font

ospastry oh-

hamsandwich did soemthing happen between you and lily ?

ospastry NO, I WOULD HAVE DIED IF IT DID

ospastry my best friend, my diaper mate, my classmate, the girl who introduced me to the love of my life just abandoned for some red suit guy

mcynburger and then Lily left me for a idiot like you ?

ospastry I AM YOUR BESTFRIEND !

chillijr mi amor ❤️

mcynburger 🥺

ospastry not the Spanish nicknames 🥴

norizz we are telling zac, you traitor

mclaren We do not have any problem with our staff having their respective personal lives - Zak

norizz WAIT- ALL THIS TIME, THE OFFICIAL ACCOUNT FOLLOWS YOU ?

mcynburger duh, it’s my account technically

norizz they heard me bitch?

mcynburger duh, why do you think your salary reduced

norizz I LOVE MCLAREN 🧡

mcynburger @ ospastry dw, I will steal Ferrari strategies and give to you

ospastry Ferrari strategies? Then I can as very much retire with just one win

lordperceval it’s @ alonsomango we need to look out for

strollinginpark or my rich dad issues ?

max1 rich dad perks having to steal Adrian

max1 my car has become Mercedes 2.0

georgey meet you in the track you dutchman

lilyhye can you stop discussing cars while appreciating Carlos and y/n?

liked by mcynburger

alexmieux WE ARE FERRARI WAGSSS

alexmieux LESSGO

alexmieux WE LOOK SO GOOD IN THE MIDDLE PIC

mcynburger Y/n x Alex = best 🫶🏻

taglist : @sainzzreputaticn @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @goldenmclaren

@taliya8346282844eliviahdgdajs @formula1-motogpfan @npcmia @hc-dutch

@nuccibeboo2 @amberjazmyn @nataylia-f1 @fastfactory @sltwins @hoeforlifee

@scarletwidow3000 @kissesandmartinis @d3kstar @mayusaatma @willowsnook

@forza-dolce @velentine @runs-with-sciss0rs @unknownmystery22

@technicallypleaseanttree @lolzzzzzzzzzz @michelleyw81 @awritingtree

[french-goodbye]

please never fall in love again

pairing: steve harrington x reader

summary: dating steve harrington is hard, especially when girls keep hitting on him.

notes: i wrote this a while ago but eventually forgot about it in the midst of all my wips lol. title from the song please never fall in love again by ollie mn.

you stare at the back of your boyfriend's head with narrowed eyes and your chin resting on your hands, an anger you know you shouldn't be feeling boiling beneath the surface of your skin. he, of course is none the wiser, as he is to most things, just chatting with eddie completely carefree by the bar.

you love steve harrigton, you really do. you think you fell in love with him on your first date and never really fell out of it. you've already planned your whole life with him, from getting married and having kids to growing old with him and sitting side by side on a wrap around porch. he's sweet, kind, he's great with kids and it doesn't hurt that he's easy on the eyes and great in bed.

his biggest flaw, however, is not exactly his fault. the worst thing about dating steve harrigton is the amount of women who hit on him on a daily basis. whether it's old ladies at the grocery store telling him he looks like their dead husbands or bored soccer moms looking for a little thrill or, the worst of all, the girls your age who slip him their phone number in old receipts over the counter at family video. these women are always there, like blood sniffing sharks, somehow finding a way to make a suggestive comment or a flirty joke.

most of the time, it doesn't really bother you even when it does happen in front of you. steve's the kind of guy who'd never cheat on you, simply because of who he is and how obsessed with you he is. sometimes, however, they can get a little too close and personal and you can't help but wish steve was a little less attractive. just a little.

and it's not that you don't trust him either, he's always quick and firm to shut them down when it happens. it's that they're the ones you don't trust, the girls with big permed blonde hair and fake tans and bright pink lipstick who look at you disdainfully when they realize you're together because they can barely take their eyes off of him for long enough to notice you're standing right next to him.

you're out at a bar celebrating jonathan's birthday when it happens this time, steve and eddie having offered to get everyone another round, the two of them leaning against the bar talking while they wait when a girl from the booth in the corner approaches them. she's clearly a little bit more than tipsy and obviously focused on steve as she talks to them, avidly taking him in and resting her hand on his forearm. he doesn't even blink, just smoothly leans away from her and tells her something that makes her leave as fast as she arrived.

you can barely hear nancy as she complains about her male coworkers on her summer job, as you heatedly stare at his stupidly nice hair and broad shoulders as your boyfriend laughs at something eddie said, hand scratching his neck. you're still watching him with scrunched eyebrows and a sour expression when you feel robin poking your cheek, making you look at her and gently slap her hand away.

"why are you poking me?"

"why are you staring at steve like he kicked your puppy?" she asks, frowning, looking back and forth between the two of you like a tennis match.

"i'm not" she gives you a flat look with raised brows. "fine," you huff. "why do women always hit on him? we can't take him anywhere"

"no idea, you tell me"

"urgh" you groan, throwing your arms around her and resting your head on her shoulder. "god, i hate men"

"amen sister" you hang onto her for a second as she takes a noisy sip of her empty drink through her straw and taps your back sympathetically a few times before gently pushing you away as steve and eddie walk back to your table, drinks in hands and still chatting distractedly.

she softly claps her hands, enthusiastically and telling you a quiet "yay" as she turns back to nancy and jonathan, as the two argue wether or not their coworkers are sexist (they totally are).

you're still laughing at robin's drunken antics when steve comes to your side again and sets your new drink on the table in front of you, resting his hand on your lower back. you let him but when he leans over you to press a kiss to your hair, you promptly dodge away from him and out of his reach. from the corner of your eye, you can see how he frowns at that and silently watches you for a second as you pretend to listen to what nancy says.

his hand on your lower back climbs all the way up to the back of your neck so he turn your head his away, forcing you to look at his big brown eyes staring at you like you just kicked his puppy and you almost feel guilty. almost.

"what's wrong?" he asks.

you shrug, "nothing's wrong."

"are you mad at me or something?"

"no" you slowly shake your head in negative, shrugging.

"gimme a kiss then" he rests one of his hands on your face tilting your head his way while the other on your neck guides your face to his. you lean in and press a quick kiss to his cheek and look away, accidentally making eye contact with the girl who just hit on him. she's watching the two of you, quickly looking away when she notices she was caught staring.

"you saw that, huh" he tells you, hands settling on your waist instead so he can look at you.

"hard not to" you huff, picking invisible lint from your pants.

"then you know nothing happened"

"of course i know that, i trust you" you complain as you roll your eyes and gesticulate to show your frustration "but i-it just makes so insanely angry when they touch you like that, like they have any right to-" you stop your ranting mid sentence when you realize the look on his face. "what? why are you looking at me like that?"

"nothing" he clears his throat and looks down to uselessly smooth non existing wrinkles on your top. you watch him though narrowed eyes and gasp when it hits you, making him look at you again. "what?"

"you like it when i'm jealous" you accuse, lightly poking his chest.

"no, i don't"

"yes, you do. i can't believe i never noticed it before" you huff an incredulous laugh, remembering all the times girls hit on him in front of you and he said nothing but affirmations of how much he's in love with you and how he could never want somebody else, acting more attentive and affectionate than usual later, pressing you against his body and kissing kissing kissing you until he was the only thing on your mind.

"okay, it's not what you're thinking" he replies running a hand through his hair nervously.

"what am i thinking, harrington?" you ask, lifting one eyebrow as a smirk makes it's way to your lips.

"it's not an ego thing" you laugh softly at him, letting your fingers run soothingly through the hair at the nape of his neck, finally giving into the temptation to get your hands on him. "it's just- i like knowing how much you want me just for yourself, how much you care about me."

you stare at him for a moment, taking in his sincere brown eyes and his fluffy hair, feeling impossibly endeared by the boy in front of you. he fidgets under your stare, so you smooth your hands down his shoulders, feeling the muscles underneath his shirt.

"well, i do care... a lot" you tell him, pretending to be coy and batting your eyelashes at him. "but it's not like i blame her"

"what?" he looks at you blankly, confused.

"i mean, look at you" you pull him closer and then closer still, still smirking. "those nice brown eyes, the pretty hair, those shoulders... nevermind how much of a charmer you are. damn harrington, no wonder women keep throwing themselves at you."

"babe" he groans embarrassedly, "they're not throwing themselves-" he dramatically drops his forehead on your shoulder making you laugh at his discomfort, letting brown strands of hair slip through your fingers as you comfortingly pet his hair and he squeezes your waist in reprimand.

"it's true!"

he pulls you closer by the grip he has on your waist and burrows his face in the crook of your neck in lieu of an answer. you let him have it even though you would like to see his face and the way his blush is probably spreading from his cheek to his neck and rest your chin into his shoulder as you hug him.

"but one of these days i'll have to step in and defend your honor"

"please don't" he pulls away and cups your neck, thumbs brushing your cheek and staring at you disapprovingly, his eyelashes touching at the corners, the hint of a smile still on his face.

"i don't know, maybe i'll have to challenge them to a duel to the death" you disagree and look at him from under your eyelashes. he gives you an affectionate look that'd make you nauseous were it not directed at you and presses a long lingering kiss to your lips.

"shut up" he whispers against your lips. you gladly do, at least until eddie and robin start throwing balled up paper napkins at your head. it's worth it though.

[ooffmlsorry]

OP Men Dating a "Girly Girl"

A/N: sorry this took so long and I haven't posted anything original in a minute my life is mess and I'm so very tired jfc...I know this isn't more than my usual group but I was just gonna stop at Luffy and then decided to add Ace and Sabo as a thank you because writing these and putting them on Tumblr has been really good for me, so thank you for always being here to indulge me 🥲 ❤️

Sanji, Zoro, Law, Luffy, Ace, Sabo

Sanji

Let's be honest, girly-girls drive Sanji craaaazzzzyy (not that all women don't, but he's definitely more partial to the feminine ones) Your make-up, pretty skirts and dresses, jewelry, and manicure, he can't help fawn over you constantly 😍Although you do it because you enjoy it, it's nice that your efforts are so appreciated!!

He spoils you soooo baaaddd!! He literally can't help himself when he sees something pretty or cute that reminds him of you, he has to get it for you. You're drowning in squishmallows at this point.

A river of blood shoots from him every time you show off a new outfit. You're going to kill him and he'll thank you for it.

Dressing up in nice outfits together, especially on date night, is a shared activity that you love to do together. Y'all are living your best happily ever after lives.

Ya'll definitely have scheduled self-care nights. You put on some slow music, open a bottle of wine, draw a bubble bath, all that.

He's utterly useless when it comes to helping you pick your outfits or makeup if you're stuck because he loves you in everything, it's too hard for him to pick. You're his perfect, beautiful Y/N-swaaaaan 😍💖💖✨

He does love to see you in pink or red though so he might default to those colors

Don't try to test your makeup on him lol, you're going to re-awaken the gender identity crisis...I mean Kamabakka trauma

Listen...I'm not saying Sanji has a mommy kink...I'm not even at Whole Cake Island so idk wtf is going on there. All I'm saying is if you give this man a bath, wrap him in a towel to dry him off, and rub him down with luxurious lotions and oils, you might awaken something...that's all...👀

ZORO

He has no clue wtf you're doing. If it weren't for the fact that there's no proof that witches exist in this world, he'd think you are one

He looks at your vanity full of serums, creams, scrubs, lotions, etc, not to mention the makeup and he's like "??????" Just completely baffled

But what do you expect? This man would use that five-in-one Irish Spring soap if he could.

Just because he doesn't understand it doesn't mean he doesn't appreciate and admire the fact that you have extensive knowledge in something he can't even comprehend

He knows you like nice shiny things, and again, while he doesn't get it, he does think it's really, really cute when you go starry-eyed over a necklace or an outfit in a store.

In the same vein, he knows how much you love cute things and animals. He has absolutely found a cute animal in the jungle, picked it up, and brought it to you just to show you because he knew you'd love it.

Sometimes in his own gruff way he'll agree with you that it's pretty cute. Thank you for helping this manly man admit things are cute and that's okay.

Other times, he's the one making sure you don't get distracted because it's so cute

Unfortunately and fortunately, you're pretty to him no matter what you do to yourself so it's all kind of a moot point to him.

You can try to ask him about which 'x' to wear, sometimes it's helpful because he'll throw out a really practical answer and then other times he's like "How 'bout you just go naked" 😏.

He'll wear a face mask with you like...twice a year. And he's going to bitch and moan about it but he does it because he loves you. The entire process is like trying to give a cat a bath "WHY IS IT SO COLD? THIS STAYS ON MY FACE FOR HOW LONG???"

Exfoliate this man at your own risk...I'm dead serious that water is going to be brown

LAW

I need you to know right now this man will let you paint his nails!!! I mean, not like gel or acrylics or anything, but he'll let you paint them any color as long as it's a dark shade of that color. You once designed Bepo on his middle fingers. He did in fact flip people off a lot more often when he had them.

Let's you wear a pastel boiler suit because you he loves you and wants to see you happy

Much like Zoro, he's got no clue what you're doing. He'll stand back and watch you while making the exact same face as the gif above.

He thinks he's being stealthy peaking around a corner to watch your morning or night routine, but you quickly catch on. Please please pleeaaassee ask him if he has any questions because he does. He's just really curious why you're doing what you're doing and what it does. It's basically skin medicine and he's really fascinated.

Knowing that you like shiny things makes his life admittedly a little easier, it's not that he doesn't think of what to gift you, he puts A LOT of thought into what he gives you, but knowing that earrings, necklaces, and bracelets always make you happy is great just in case of analysis paralysis or he forgets. Sorry.

Also you wearing the jewelry he gets you does something to him, especially a necklace he can pull on a little, mmhhm you're making this man struggle with impure thoughts.

You both love cute things, it's something y'all connect on. It's really good that you help him access that very neglected inner child of his and encourage him to coo and fawn over adorable animals with zero reservation.

He'll do skincare with you too when he's not super busy. He can admit it's kind of nice to sit in bed with a book, glass of wine, and a face mask and just bask for a minute

He acts like he hates when you rub serums across his face and use a derma roller on him but he loves it

Law doesn't really pay attention to your clothes, but when you really go all out he breaks out in a sweat and he can't keep his eyes off you.

LUFFY

I'm not saying he thinks it's stupid, it just...why have an hours long care routine when you could be going on adventure with him??? 😭😭😭

He will help you pick out your makeup but don't expect it to look good. You're gonna end up with neon orange eyeshadow and green lipstick. Like literally every "My Boyfriend Does My Makeup" youtube video.

Plays around with your stuff but that's because he has no idea what all these strange contraptions are. The moment you try to explain his eyes glaze over and next thing you know he's whisking you away to go do something more fun.

He likes the shiny bright stuff (highlighter), makeup probably is the only part he even remotely engages in because it's

Explain how contour works to this man and watch him lose his fucking mind, he thinks you're a shape shifter now (honestly this applies to all of them except Law and maybe Sanji)

He never notices what you wear, Nami is gonna have smack him on the back of the head to get him to realize you put on something fancy

Luffy points out everything, it just so happens that things he points out sometime happen to be cute animals

Hides in all the stuffed animals and squishmallows in your room to surprise attack hug you

*throws mud at you* "Is this the kind of mud you like, Y/N??" He really means well though.

You know those hair masks with all natural ingredients like honey and banana? Yeah, he's gonna start sucking on your hair like spaghetti...I'm so sorry.

He'll bathe with you but that's because he wants to be close to you, it's definitely not about being pampered or relaxing.

Try to put a face mask on him or something else and it'll just become a game of tag around the Sunny. You can't catch him and he's having a great time outrunning and outwitting you.

He knows this is all important to you so even though he doesn't get it he'd never make fun of you for it and the moment someone calls you "extra," he's kicking their ass.

ACE

Maybe all the glam is a little silly to him but that just makes you extra cute!

He will also absolutely let you paint his nails. Hell, he'll let you do a full beat on him just for fun and he'll wear it for the whole day because he's so unserious lol

...As long as he gets to do your makeup after...Much like Luffy you're gonna be covered in neon colors that don't even remotely match, but you guys have a great time lol

Admittedly likes to be pampered by you when he gets back from a long mission.

Please take a bubble bath with this man, it's not like the water is ever going to get cold!

I'm pretty sure you'd legitimately lead to Ace taking better care of himself. Got this man out here talking about his cuticles and shit lol

Honestly, it's really good for him because self care leads to self love and Ace needs a lot of help with that.

He tells Pops about all the stuff you do 1.) because he loves you and 2.) he hopes some of it will help Whitebeard heal a little, god bless him 😢

All of your hardwork doesn't go unnoticed, he legitimately gets kind of misty eyed when you really dress up because he's so so so lucky. He swears he doesn't deserve you.

He always brings back some kind of gift even whether it's a cute plushie or something exotic to wear from all of his long travels

I need to stress how much this means to him, everyone of these things is like a little proposal because he already knows you're it. Every little gift is leading up to a ring from this man.

He's also just genuinely impressed by the skill it takes to do your makeup so well, especially after he tries doing it on you

Much like his little brother unfortunately, he does play with all the little contraptions in your vanity, especially in the beginning because have you seen an eyelash curler? He's so confused lol

SABO

Sabo and Ace truly are his brothers because he really don't get all the effort lol

Admittedly, a lot of that is because he thinks you're so hot already what's the point???

Once he gets this is just how you are he's less confused, he's probably the most normal out everyone. He lets you do your thing, although he's really curious how you managed to always look amazing while being in the fucking revolutionary army!!?? Where are you getting the time???

If someone were to intrude on y'all on a free afternoon you're both in fluffy robes with face masks on and Sabo loves to pretend to act like a bitch when he's in selfcare mode with you lol

"Are you seriously bothering us right now, ugh! I can't even right now!!" And then you both break out in laughter

He really thinks you should teach others how to contour and do makeup because it has great applications for disguises and infiltration.

And brags about your skills to everyone

Wonders how many of your makeup supplies could actively be used as a weapon *eye roll* jfc Sabo

There's a part of you that secretly worries all your boujieness will remind him of his blood relatives, but he assures you that it doesn't because you have a good heart and he never doubts that

Besides, being a little extra with him helps him associate those things he used to associate with his blood relatives with you instead so it's even better

He spoils you so bad, but with a Sabo-flair, ie. stealing from shitty people and bringing it back to you because you're oh so more deserving of nice things let's be honest

He gets jealous of the cute animals that you squeal over hehehe, please hug him when he starts pouting

He'll always wear a little pink just for you ❤️

[lanadelnegan]

Ooh girl! Loving your work! I had an idea of a smutty fic with JDM himself. Maybe something with him being scared of showing his jealous side because the reader is his younger girlfriend but can’t help it when a man flirts with her

THANK U THANK U. A jealous JDM? I can do that hehe.

Jealousy, Jealousy

Jeffrey Dean Morgan x Reader

Warnings: smut, 18+, NSFW, semi-public sex, car sex (riding), a jealous, possessive jdm, age-gap relationship

A/n: I didn’t even mean for this to turn into such daddy-kink, but it did towards the end. So I hope you’re into that. 🥵

"Can I buy you a drink?" A younger, blonde man smirks next to me.

"Oh, no. I'm good. Thanks though."

"Come on. I insist." Before I can reject him, he plants himself in the stool next to me before motioning to the bartender.

"Um, I -"

"Excuse me, you mind grabbing this pretty lady here another.. On me." He asks the bartender before smiling at me again.

"Names Drew." He tilts his head back swallowing his drink.

"Drew, I'm.. here with someone."

"Nice to meet you, here with someone." He says jokingly as if that's my name but I ignore his lame attempt.

"Look baby, if you are here with someone, where is he?" His head tilts to the side at me and I raise my eyebrows, clearing my throat as I look past him at the much taller man standing behind him.

The bartender places the drink in front of me as soon as Drew turns and notices Jeffrey standing behind him.

"Wow, thanks for the drink man." Jeffrey's large hand grabs Drew's shoulder roughly and I watch his fingers squeeze until the veins on his hands become even more visible.

Drew visibly cringes in pain at the touch and watches Jeffrey finish the drink he ordered me in two gulps.

"I'm more of a whiskey guy, though." Jeffrey smiles at him arrogantly, wiping the corner of his mouth before slamming the glass down on the bar. Drew tries his best to put on the tough guy act but I can see the fear behind his eyes.

"Sorry man, she didn't say she was here with her dad." He glares at Jeffrey.

I make a "yikes" face, showing my teeth and shaking my head. Poor Drew, this isn't gonna end well for him.

Jeffrey chuckles in his face, keeping eye contact with him, and my legs clench a little watching his "Negan" side come out.

We've only been dating for a couple months now, and while I'm sure our age-gap is strange to other people, Jeffrey and I couldn't be happier. I've always dated men my age, but men in their young 20's don't know how to treat a woman. Jeffrey is so good to me.. in every way imaginable.

I've never seen this protective, jealous side of him.. but I think I like it.

"Daddy.." I interrupt. "why won't this weirdo leave us alone?" I talk in a baby voice to Jeffrey, mocking Drew for calling him my dad.

"Wait.. I.. I know you. You play that asshole in the walking dead... Can't fucking stand him." Drew huffs at him.

"Y/n, baby, go wait for me in the car." Jeffrey demands.

Before I go to leave, I stand on my tippy toes and kiss Jeffrey's cheek slowly, glancing at Drew who looks like smoke could come out of his ears any second. Freak.

"That's fucking gross, you know that right?" Drew calls after me as I walk away. "He could be your grandpa! Bet he can't even get it up."

Before I can open the door to leave, I hear a loud bang from behind me. I turn to see Jeffrey's hand bring Drew's blonde head up from the bar top he just slammed it against. "Dude you just broke my fucking nose! Drew wipes the blood from his face.

"Babe, stop!" I call out.

Jeffrey glances at me, still firmly gripping the back of Drew's hair.

"You're lucky my girls watching, or I'd break more than that." He grits out next to his ear.

I've never seen him make that face.. and it does something to me. He looks so hot and.. unhinged.

"Car. NOW." Jeffrey says in my direction as he tosses the blonde man on the ground. He grabs his leather jacket and follows me to the car. We both get in, staying silent for a moment as I try to register what happened.

He sighs, dropping his head and gripping his knuckles around the steering wheel. "Baby, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have act-"

Before he can finish, I'm climbing on top of him like a dog in heat, slamming my lips against his while lifting my black dress until it's bunched around my waist., revealing my red thong. The seat is pushed far enough back to allow me room to comfortably sit in his lip. His mouth parts open and my tongue swipes across his. Fuck, his mouth tastes so good.

I bite his bottom lip when I pull away, letting my fingers tangle through his salt and pepper hair. His hands firmly grab my ass as I grind myself desperately against him. I'm so wet I'm pretty sure he'll have a spot on his jeans. I take his semi-hard cock out of his black jeans and stroke it twice before he's solid in my hand.

The best thing about being with an older man? The size of his cock and the way he knows how to use it. It's big enough to where the tip reaches just above his belly button as it stands against him and my mouth waters at the sight. I lift myself up, wasting no time due to my throbbing pussy needing him so badly, and gently slide down his length. His head drops back slightly as he watches me through lust-filled eyes.

"Fuck, baby. That's it." He talks me through it as I struggle to sit completely with him in me.

I bounce on him while he guides me up and down, squeezing my ass. He looks up at me as I start to slow down, grinding against his cock repeatedly as it hits the right spot.

“You look so fucking good riding me, baby.”

His window is cracked open a few inches and we’re parked right outside the front of the bar. The thought of getting caught makes me hotter as I moan and bite at his ear.

Just as I’m about to come, I hear the bells of the bar doors ring and look to the side, seeing Drew walk out. His nose is bandaged, so someone must have helped him out.

“We’ve got company, doll. You wanna tell him who you belong to?” Jeffrey slams me down onto his cock so hard that my vision clouds and I feel my orgasm rush through me. My mouth falls open just as I look to the side and see Drew walking past the car.

“Daddyyy!” I moan loudly, getting Drew’s attention. He looks at me disgustedly and shakes his head. I watch him angrily get in his car and drive away and smile to myself.

“Fuck. Daddy.. I’m gonna cum.” I cry out.

“Soak my fucking cock baby. Give it to me.���

I cry out louder as my walls contract around him. He kisses me hard and looks into my eyes.

“Fuck, doll. I love you.”

I stare at him wide eyed and can’t believe he just said it. I’ve known I love him since the first week we met, but I wanted him to say it first.

“I love you too, Jeffrey... I.. I want you to cum in me.” I kiss him lips softly this time and I slowly slide myself up and down on him.

He smiles up at me. “Yea? You want daddy’s cum in you, baby?”

I nod and bounce on him faster.

“Cum in my pussy, daddy. Please!”

“Baby, fuck. Fuck. Ahhh.” He moans and his dick pulses, shooting strings of hot cum deep inside me.

I stay on top of him, kissing him as he comes down from his high. His seed leaks out while his cock is still in me and I feel it run down my legs.

“I need strange men to hit on me more often.” I breathe heavily, teasing him.

“Funny, doll.” A loud smack lands on my ass. “I promise they won’t fuck like you like daddy does.”

[justyouraverage-simp]

she's in good hands// t.s, s.r

pairing: steve rogers x reader (romantic), tony tark x daughter!reader (platonic)

warnings: tony being a bit of a douche to steve, tooth rotting happy relationships

summary: tony was very protective of everyone he cared about but his daughter meant the most to him out of anyone so when he has to face the music that shes growing up he finds it hard to accept especially when it comes to boys but not just any boy captain america

*gif not mine*

Y/N swore she could never love anyone as much as she loved her dad, he was the only man she needed in her life. The two were peas in a pod, they were best friends and after Y/N got her heart broken who was there to pick up the pieces? Her dad.

Everyone swore Tony wouldn't be a present father, that he would send his child off the first chance he got. Just like his parents did to him. But Tony used that to be better, he became the worlds best dad at least in Y/N's eyes and to him that's all that mattered.

****

When the avengers were formed they all was told to keep their hands to themselves when it came to Y/N. No one risked to see where the line was because Tony had never been so passionate about something in his life. His little girl (although she is now 24, she will always be the little girl he used to play tea parties with and dress up with her like princesses) was his world, she saved him when he lost his parents, she gave him a reason to keep going and he will always protect her.

What Tony wasn't prepared for was her getting to the age where she was interested in boys and becoming more curious about them and her feelings. She didn't have a mother figure in life really other than Pepper then eventually Nat became an auntie/ older sister to her, so it was down to him to teach her everything and it was the first time Pepper had seen Tony unsure of himself.

Y/N went through her fair share of rough relationships, the worst being a three year relationship that ended with her being cheated on. Tony was furious seeing his girl crying over someone. She swore to him she was done with men, that he was the only man for her, the only one she needed. She was happy being single and free. That was until 2011 when she met Steve Rogers.

*****

Y/N and Steve both agreed to keep the relationship a secret to start with so the two could find their footing without the whole world watching their every move. And also so they could work out how to tell Tony without putting him or Steve into an early grave.

"Hey, how would you feel about telling my dad about us?" Y/N said looking up at Steve who had his arm draped over her shoulder as they cuddled into the sofa.

"As long as you want to I'll do whatever you want sweetheart you know that" Steve says.

"I know I'm just nervous"

"I know you are but we love each other right?"

"Yeah"

"So your dad will see that and how he hasn't noticed yet I don't know but we will show him that I'm not like the others" Steve says placing a kiss onto Y/N's forehead.

It was a few hours later and Jarvis had made Y/N and Steve aware Tony was back from his mission with Nat and Clint. Everyone meet in the living room to welcome the three back when Tony looked up at his daughter suspiciously.

"Why are you being weird?" Tony says bluntly.

"Wow nice to see you too dad"

"Honey you know what I mean, your quiet and your not as happy to see me" "I just need to talk to you when you get a minute"

"You can talk to me whenever you need, I'm your dad"

"In private please?"

Tony and Y/N walk to her bedroom, Steve following behind sneakily to be there for Y/N.

"What's going on kiddo"

"I'm just going to come out and say it" Y/N says running a finger through her hair "I'm dating Steve"

"As in Captain America?"

"No Steve from down the road, yes Captain America"

Steve takes this a time to walk through the door and wraps his hand over Y/N's.

"No" Tony says quickly

"No?" Steve says "What do you mean no?"

"I mean nope, not happening, over my dead body. How else do you want me to say it, I can say it in another language if that helps you Cap"

"Dad, I wasn't asking you if I can, I'm telling you because I don't want to hide him. I want to hold his hand or sit next to him on the sofa without having too worry someone will catch on. I want you to be able to accept that I'm not your little girl anymore I've grown up" Y/N says getting more annoyed at her dad.

Seeing how passionate his daughter is makes him realise she loves Steve, not in the same way she loves Tony but the way he loves Pepper. It made him realise he will always be the man who taught her what to expect from men, to not accept anything less than 100%. Steve however he showed her what 100% is, he showed her the meaning of true love. He chose her and he would risk everything to make sure she knew how much she loved him.

Tony looked between the two of them "Rogers promise me something?"

"Yeah Tony?" Steve says unsure of what he's signing up for.

"Promise me you'll look after my girl, she's my world and if you hurt her I will not be held responsible for what happens"

"I promise, I will always protect her and I will always do what's right by her" Steve says looking down at Y/N lovingly, pressing a quick kiss to her lips.

"Just because I know your together doesn't mean the PDA can come out thank you very much" Tony says as he leaves Y/N's bedroom shacking his head.

*****

That evening Y/N is cuddled back up to Steve on the sofa dozing off slightly as the Avengers all have a movie night which was tradition when someone came back from a mission.

"Tony I'm surprised you haven't blasted Steve to another planet for touching Y/N" Nat says looking over at the two.

"Nope, she's in good hands and I'm okay with that" Tony says as he watches Steve admire his girl sleeping.

[pastelspoon31]

Chapter 6: What a nice neighbour! (Older!König x Younger!Reader) - NSFW

tw: age gap (early 20s reader, AT LEAST mid-40s König), manipulation, non-con, somnophilia, drugging, gullible reader :(, a little bit of pseudo-incest, pretty much dead dove, again.. SUPER ICKY

A/N: Starting off with a little insight from König’s perspective before somno-ing our reader again ^_^

Chapter 5.5 | Chapter 6 | Masterlist

König sometimes wonder if you were genuinely that naive, or if it was a façade to get him to continue with his games.

But that was none of his concern, of course.

…Well, sort of.

He enjoyed the current dynamic between the two of you more than he'd like to admit.

Besides, it’s not like it’s his fault that you kept coming back to his place after each encounter, is it? There must be at least one braincell in that pretty little head of yours that was blaring warning signs, and yet here you always find yourself in his place somehow with your innocent, clueless, dumb smile on your face.

…Or were you just acting dumb?

Oh, that would be an entirely different case, wouldn’t it?

But, whatever. He had his fun, and he would continue to have his fun, and it was only a matter of time before he'd have his next encounter with your pretty little cunt, whether you liked it or not.

He could only hope that you'll make the right choice, and keep coming back.

You did enjoy spending time with your father figure afterall, don’t you? 

Ah, his little hase.

What a good, stupid, clueless little girl.

———

"Would you... date an older woman?" You laid in König's lap giggling in an almost ditzy manner as you asked.

Spending dinner at his place again, you both somehow ended up on his couch playing a game of truth or dare- but it was mostly truths since the both of you were comfortable enough with each other at this point.

"I have, liebling." He chuckled. "Why, are you jealous?" He teased.

"You have?" You let out a little gasp, purposely ignoring the following question. “How old? I mean you're pretty old yourself so..-"

"Hey!" He playfully smacked your forehead as you giggled.

"Well, if you must know, she was a beautiful woman in her mid forties."

"So you have a type?" You tilted your head.

"Not exactly." He chuckled. "She was just.. someone I relied on for a bit while I was in the process of getting over my late wife," His tone was a bit somber as he talked about it, his hand stroking your hair.

"I see... Sorry, I didn't mean to bring back any memories."

"It's alright, liebling. You're too young to be worried about the past. It's not a burden for me anymore, so don't let it be for you." He continued caressing your hair.

"How about you? Would you.. date older men?" He tried not to smirk at the idea.

"I would," You answered almost immediately, "I mean, if they were attractive, then I wouldn't mind."

"So what you're saying is, if an old geezer asked you out, you'd go for it?" He teased as he looked down at your scrunched up face.

"Geezer? Who taught you that word?!" You chuckled as the wine in your glass sloshed around.

"You're not the only one who can use the internet, hase." He grinned, and you laughed.

"You're right. But, if the man is a geezer, I wouldn't. Maybe a gentleman who's a bit older, but not a geezer."

"Ah, so a gentleman who's a bit older." He hummed, pretending to not know who you were talking about.

"Yeah. Like, someone who knows a lot about the world, and is experienced." You continued, oblivious to the growing smirk on König’s lips.

"Someone like an old war veteran?" He asked, his hand now trailing down your back, rubbing it gently.

So comfy…

"Yes! Like an old war vet- I mean, yes, someone like that. I wouldn't mind. I mean, not really." You babbled, giggling as a strange fluffy feeling starts to cloud your mind.

Someone capable, ready to settle down- Maybe even already financially stable!

You were not against working together with your partner to achieve financial freedom but it's just easier if it's not an issue to think of anymore right?

But of course, that was not your main criteria! You were not a gold digger!

As long as that someone is nice, takes care of you, loves you..

Someone who is reliable, strong, and can teach you the ropes on things you don't learn in school.

Someone like König, perhaps.

...

Someone like König?

"Not you though, you're like.. my father-figure so you don't have to feel weird about asking." You quickly countered after a brief period of awkward silence.

"Oh, is that so, hase?" He smiled, "You're a very honest girl when you're drunk. And what makes you think I would have any interest in you that way?" He chuckled.

...You definitely read him wrong.

Shit.

"I didn't say that! I mean- well, you're my dad. But like, not like a real dad, I mean.." You blushed and turned away, hiding your face in his thigh. "Ugh.. I hate it when you tease me like this.."

"Aww, but hase, it's cute." He chuckled.

"Only you think it's cute.."

"So if I asked you, you'd say no, hm?" He asked, his hand still stroking your hair.

"No to what? I mean- I'm sorry, I'm not making sense, am I?" You laughed.

"Do you want me to be blunt, liebling?"

"You always are.."

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." He took your glass and set it on the coffee table before pulling you to sit up on his lap. The fuzzy feeling in your skull making your head almost too heavy to hold up by yourself, making you lean onto his shoulder as you looked up at the older man with a dazed expression.

“Hm..?" You blushed as you looked at him. "What do you mean..?"

"Don't play coy with me, liebling." He held you closer. "I'm asking if you'd be okay with being more than a daughter."

Well, that was unexpected.

"I.. I mean, I guess." You frowned lightly. König sure is being a bit weird right now.

Afterall, what does he mean more than a daughter? Like a real daughter? What a silly suggestion! He’s obviously German so there’s no way-

"You guess? Don't tell me you have no feelings for me, hase?" He faked a sad look.

This feels.. strange. He has feelings for you? That can’t be right..

"Of course not! It's not that, König, it's just.." You blushed, "I'm just not sure if I'm.. Ready."

"For what?" He stroked your hair.

"Well, everything.." You sighed, and looked down. "You're like a father to me and you've been helping me a lot and.. and-"

"And? There's more, hase. What's on your mind?" He rubbed your back soothingly, and you felt yourself relaxing under his touch.

"I feel guilty."

"Guilty? What for?" He frowned.

"Because I.. I.." You felt yourself blushing harder.

"I've been feeling weird about you." You admitted, your voice quiet.

"Weird? In a good way, I hope."

"I mean, yeah.. You're a really good guy. You're like, perfect. Too perfect." You sighed and leaned into him closer.

"And... Sometimes.." Your drunken mind struggled with your rational side, wondering if you should reveal something that had been plaguing you for a while.

"Sometimes what, hase?" He hummed.

"I've dreamt.." You contemplated telling him.

He wouldn’t judge you, right? He promised that he never would so technically.. It should be safe to tell him, especially with all the other things you have trusted him with!

"About what, liebling?" He cooed, rubbing his hands down your arms.

"At night.. Well, every night.. I have been dreaming about you.." Your voice was soft and meek as you spoke.

"I see.." König couldn't help the grin that was growing on his face.

"But, it's not.. It's not like a normal dream. Like... More intimate," You hid your blushing face in his shoulder, the alcohol finally loosening you up.

Or rather whatever the hell that König had added to your drink, again.

"More intimate, hm? Like what, hase?" He couldn't stop grinning.

"Like.. Like the dreams where it feels really real and you're touching me and it's.. I wake up and the um.. white sticky fluids I told you about.." You trailed off in embarrassment.

"Ah.. So you've been holding back details the other day when I was checking you.."

"I'm sorry.." The embarrassment and guilt was unmistaken in your tone as you looked away, eyes barely open.

"Oh, hase, don't be. It's only natural." He kissed your forehead, his hands stroking the back of your head.

"I'm sorry.." You apologized again, still trying to look at him in the eyes.

God, your head felt so heavy.

"Don't be.." He continued to hush you, "It's normal. And there's nothing to feel guilty about. It's only natural that you'd have sexual urges." He cooed, trying his best not to sound so excited.

"It's embarrassing, König.. M’not.. Not.. Hmm..” König felt his cock harden as you head tilted to the side, your consciousness slowly slipping away right before his eyes again.

"Oh, but why?" He chuckled, "I'm like your father. Of course, I wouldn't get angry. It's just another thing that happens. You can't control it.." He cooed as he

"Mmm.."

"Now, don't worry about a thing." His eyes glinted with excitement as he saw the crushed pill in your drink take effect once again as your eyes struggled to stay open.

"It's okay. Everything's fine, liebling. Just close your eyes and relax.."

You could barely nod and let your eyes close as König stroked your hair, humming softly.

"Just drift off to sleep, hase.." He continued his hypnotic strokes, his humming sending you to a dreamless state of bliss.

"That's a good girl.."

When he was certain you were out cold, König laid you on the couch and carried you upstairs to his bedroom.

"Let's see how wet that cunny of yours is tonight, hm?" He chuckled as he laid you down and carefully took off your clothes.

"Ah, and look at that.."

You were dripping already.

"How sweet.."

He spread your legs, and began lapping at your folds.

"Oh, sweet liebling.."

His tongue pushed past the barrier of your cunt, lapping at the slick walls, sucking on the soft skin.

"You taste so fucking good as always.." He groaned, his hands holding onto your hips.

"I bet you were thinking about me fucking your little brains out, weren't you? You've been such a needy little girl. Dreaming about your König fucking you all the time." He continued licking and sucking your sweet little cunny, his chin already wet with your slick.

"Such a needy little girl, hase.."

König pulled away from your dripping pussy, a string of saliva and your juices still connecting his mouth to your glistening pussy.

"Look at the mess you've made, liebling." He tutted, and grabbed a cloth.

"Soaking my bed and leaving a mess on the sheets.." He cleaned the slick up, and wiped his chin clean.

"And you didn't even realize it, did you? Dirty girl.."

"I wonder, would you be embarrassed if I showed you a pictures of this, hase? What if I woke you up and showed you how dirty you were, hm?"

"I wonder what you'd do, hase."

"Maybe, I should take a video and show it to you so you can see how much of a mess you've made.." He tapped his cockhead on your swollen clit. “I do have a big collection of just you,”

"It's quite the sight to behold, afterall," The older man chuckled to himself.

"But then again, I can't be too cruel. I don't want you to panic and run away from me." He smirked, his cock throbbing as he rubbed it between your folds.

"After all, I'm not a monster. I just.. get a little bit ahead of myself sometimes.”

He pushed past your tight entrance, feeling your wet walls fluttering around his massive throbbing cock as he bottomed out.

"A-ah, hase.." König let out a low groan as he buried his cock inside of your cunt, your pussy clenching tightly.

"My pretty girl.." He praised, his hands grabbing onto your hips.

"You're a natural born whore for me, aren't you?" He cooed.

"Tight and wet for your König.." He slowly began pulling out.

"A-ah!~" You were unconscious, and yet the sounds you were making were so lewd.

"My sweet, pretty girl.." He thrusted back in, letting out a moan.

"Fuck.. Fuck, hase..!" König groaned and thrusted his cock into your tight hole, feeling the slick walls of your pussy gripping him.

"I'll fill you up nice and full, liebling.." He grunted, his fingers digging into your skin.

"F-fuck.. Hase.. You feel so fucking good..!"

"I can't wait to have you begging for my cock.." He moaned.

Your face was scrunched up as you whined in your sleep.

"You'll be mine, won't you?" He grunted as he thrust harder.

"Won't you, liebling? You'll be my sweet, pretty whore and you'll come to me whenever you need to be fucked, hm?" König smirked as he heard you whine more in your sleep.

"You'd do that for me, hase? Let this old man take care of you? I'd give you everything you ever wanted, liebling.. All the gifts and treats.."

"You just have to be mine." He pulled your legs up and bent them towards your chest, fucking into you harder.

"Ngh, f-fuck.. Liebling..!" He groaned, his fingers digging deeper.

"You feel so good, hase.. I'm close.. You'll take my cum, won't you, hase? My pretty hase.." You let out a soft moan and clenched around him, and König groaned.

"F-fuck..! I'm coming.." He gasped, his cock throbbing.

"Take my cum, hase.. Take it all..!" He spilled inside of you, filling you up with his seed, his cock still pulsing.

"Mm.. Mein liebling.." He gently put your legs back down and pulled out.

"Oh, hase.. Such a sweet girl.." He murmured and rubbed his thumb over your cunt, the swollen lips glistening with slick and his cum.

"So dumb and trusting of your König.. Letting him fuck your brains out without knowing.." You remained unconscious as he pushed the cum back into your abused cunny and put your underwear back on, giving it a couple soft pats right above your abused clit for good measure.

"Don't worry, liebling. You won't remember a thing.." He chuckled as he pulled the rest of your clothes back on.

"And when the time is right, you'll know everything.." He gave you a sweet kiss before pulling you onto his chest, falling asleep himself.

———

"König?" You woke up feeling disoriented and confused, seeing yourself in König's room.

"Liebling." König smiled warmly at you, "I'm glad you're awake. I was a bit worried you'd pass out and miss your classes today," He was getting ready himself, pulling on his t-shirt.

"Uh.. What happened last night? I don't remember anything after dinner.." You tried to sit up but were met with a sharp pain in your lower body.

"Ouch.." You whined softly. König smirked to himself as he heard you complain but played oblivious as he sat down beside you.

"What's wrong, hase?" He feigned concern.

"Ugh.. My stomach hurts.. I think it's the wine.." You rubbed your tummy with a soft pout- A sight that made König’s cock twitch in his pants.

If only you know all the ways you drive him crazy…

"Ah, you must have drank too much. You fell asleep while we were playing, so I brought you up here." He lied smoothly.

"I see.." You winced in pain from the growing headache throbbing in your head.

"Would you like some medicine?" He offered.

"No, no, it's okay." You groaned lightly as you sat up- Immediately felt something gush out of your sore pussy, making you panic.

"Ahh! K-König!-”

"Hase?"

"The.. T-The stuff.. It's there again-" You whimpered, feeling like you wanted to cry.

"The what, liebling?" König looked at you with a calm smile.

"T-The sticky fluid.." You felt embarrassed, but knew that if you didn't tell him, he'd probably scold you.

"Ah, hase.. Did you dream about me again?" He cooed and cupped your cheek, his thumb rubbing against it soothingly.

"Y-yes.."

"Oh, liebling.." He hummed, and pulled you closer, "It's okay. It's normal, ja? There's nothing to be embarrassed about." He smiled.

"But.."

"But, what, liebling?"

"I made a mess.."

"Oh, hase, it's okay. I'll take a closer inspection and we'll get that sorted out, okay?" He smiled sweetly.

"O-okay.."

"Now, spread your legs, hase. Let your König take care of you, ja?”

[dckweed]

THE NEXT THING YOU KNOW, gator tillman

in which gator tillman and his arranged bride figure out life and each other and what a real relationship means to them.

warnings: mentions and depictions of abuse, mentions of bruises, arranged marriages, romance, humor, dead parents, slow burn relationship (not completely but not not), basically we know the tillman men are asswipes so i 100% see Roy forcing gator into this kind of situation for money for his militia, eventual smut with kinks such as thigh riding, gun play, choking, spanking, lots of marking and possible spit play.

guess who's back :) torn ligament in my hand has officially been cleared for normal use (even though i've technically been using it like normal ((shhhhh don't tell my GM that)), anyway..) and im back with my babies!! originally, and you can ask @xxbookdrunkdemigodxx , i had planned this to be a little longer and lowkey include some smutty pieces, but, after sitting down and reading over the whole thing this afternoon i felt comfortable with this just being part six and letting the rest of what i had planned come together for part seven :) we've been working very hard behind the scenes to worldbuild for gator and his pearlie..

also, as a reminder i love receiving asks about these two! i also love recieving maybe some drabble ideas too :) my inbox is always open!

series masterlist here, series playlist here.

PART SIX: the bed, the smack and the date.

The weekend with Gator and his sisters was absolutely blissful compared to what you would probably be going back home to. Your fiancé had taken you home early Monday morning after you had helped drop off the girls, his parents on their way back from their trip, driving your car (which at the time you hadn’t realized was all part of his plan to keep you away from Boyd for as long as he could without it being suspicious) with you in the passenger seat, dancing bleary-eyed to the music playing through the speakers from your attached phone, one of your expensive fancy iced coffee’s (that he had happily paid for) in your hand. He couldn’t keep the smile from his lips as he watched you, something about the moment just so wholly you that he couldn’t help but wish he had more time to bask in it, but he was already pulling down the long dirt lane that belonged to Boyd, the house not too far off in the distance. 

“Thank you for drivin’ me..” You say, reaching up on your tip toes to kiss his cheek. He leans down just the littlest bit to make it easier for you and you can’t help but to blush at the action as he walks you up to the porch, your bag from the weekend clutched in the hand that he didn’t have loosely on the small of your back, guiding you. 

He hums in response, watching you turn your house key in the door. “I don’t have to be at work until tonight..” He says, following you over the threshold. “Figured maybe we could go back to sleep for a few hours..go get a late lunch or something later?” He had absolutely no intention of leaving you by yourself in the same house as Boyd, not after what he knew, and he would do all he could to make sure you were around him as little as possible, without you knowing. 

“..sounds nice..” You yawn, closing the door and shuffling behind him sleepily. You guys had been up awfully late planning the engagement party, set to be held next weekend, and hadn’t fallen asleep until about an hour before it was time to get the girls up, he had insisted on getting your things packed up and the both of you getting out of the house before his parents came back and despite being exhausted, you weren’t going to argue with him, not wanting to have to put on a show or face any questions about the wedding or dress shopping just yet. “Y’gonna snuggle with me?” “Pearl!” The tone in his voice is cause for concern, but for some reason, with Gator here, you don’t put yourself on high alert. “What have I told you abou-” He comes from his office, stepping into the large entrance of the house, eyes locking on the man behind you as you both turn towards his voice, Gator already on the staircase. “Gator, what are you doing here this morning?” He paints on a cordial face, his voice turning pleasant, but you see the way he looks at you. 

Gator puts a hand on your shoulder, pulling you against his firm body though he stands about two stairs above you. “Morning Sir.” The same coolness he uses with his father lacing through his voice, his hand squeezes your shoulder soothingly, as if trying to massage the tension out of it. “We were up all night planning our engagement party, and with my parents coming home this morning, we figured we’d come here to get some sleep..” You’re looking up at him and he looks down, giving you a small smile. “Right hon?” You nod your head, putting a hand over top of the one he has on your shoulder as you give your step-father a small, gentle smile. “Figured we’d go get a late lunch or somethin’ before I head in to work later this evening too..” 

Boyd seems hesitant but clearly doesn’t want to argue and simply nods his head, dropping whatever he was about to yell at you about before. “Right..i’ll make sure you’re not disturbed.” He says, turning to go back into his office. 

You both watch him walk away, leaving the two of you in your slightly awkward embrace. “What was that about snuggling?” Gator asks, his voice playful once the office door is shut firmly behind the man. You roll your eyes at him and turn around, swatting his butt playfully as he chuckles and starts heading up the stairs ahead of you. 

Your bed looks so warm and inviting when you walk in that you don’t even bother to take off your shoes before diving right into the middle of it, breathing in the smell of your favorite fabric softener. “God, i fucking missed this bed..” You groan, stretching. 

“Oh i’m sorry, is my bed not good enough for you?” Gator asks from the foot of the bed, you feel one of his large warm hands on your ankle, pulling your sandal off for you before tossing it unceremoniously onto the floor, doing the same for your other foot before crawling up the bed to lay next to you, his shirt and basketball shorts somehow having been shed and tossed onto the floor as well. 

“Your bed is fine but it’s..such a boy bed.” You say, scooting up towards your pillows so you can get underneath of your fluffy duvet, rubbing against his warm body as you go. “And it’s small..” 

“The hell does that even mean?” He asks, bewildered as he turns onto his side, draping an arm over your waist like he had been doing the past couple of nights to get comfortable. Now that he had done it, he found it awfully soothing. 

“It means that it was very obviously slept in by a boy for its entire life.” You counter, snuggling yourself against his chest, your ass wiggling against him as you pull the comforter up to your chin, his grip around your waist tightens but you don’t question it, happy to be in bed and relaxed. “It’s all hard and lumpy and cold..not nearly as inviting as rhonda..”

He lifts his head up, peering down at you through narrowed eyes. “Pearl you did not seriously name your fuckin’ bed.” He says, absolutely bewildered by you. 

“Named yours too,” You yawn, comfortable as you look back at him. “Steve.” 

“Steve?” He snorts, and you can practically hear his eyes rolling as he lays his head back down. “If anything, my bed is named like..Brock or something..something bro-y, you know?” 

“Brock is such a dickwad name, Steve is much better.” You cackle when you feel him flick the back of your head before swatting your ass when you start wiggling around. 

“Shut up and go to sleep you fuckin’ dipshit..” He says, and you really don’t need any more urging than that. 

Sleeping with Gator is like sleeping with a life sized teddy bear. He’s warm and snuggly, and despite his hard body, he’s quite soft. You’re not surprised when you wake up with your face buried in his chest, your body half slung over his own around four that afternoon. He had woken up first and had just laid there, his hand ghosting up and down your back as he stared at your dresser, hazel eyes focused on the photos smattering the top of it. 

“Gator?” He hums in response, turning his head to look down at you. His hand stops moving, and you miss the soothingness of it almost immediately. “What time is it?” 

A smile tugs at the corners of his lips, the hand that wasn’t on your back going to rake through his messy hair. “We slept all day..” His voice isn’t gravelly like it normally is when he’s slept and you wonder just how long he’s been awake for. “It’s a little after four..” You groan, knowing you’re not possibly going to get any sleep tonight. 

“Boyd’s not going to be pleased..” You sigh, rubbing your eyes with one hand as you push yourself up with the other, Gator’s hand falling from your back. You don’t notice the pout on his lips as you let out a yawn, running a hand through your hair. Your stomach growls as you stretch, and you let out a gasp, embarrassed. 

“Hungry?” H chuckles, watching you from his perch on the pillows as you quickly crawl off the bed, giving him a nice view of your supple ass. “Go on and get dressed, I'll take you to an early dinner..”

You don’t need to be told twice. You emerge from your walk-in closet merely a few minutes later, a pink co-ord set on. The pants were a sweatpants material, but clung nicely to your legs and sat low slung on your hips, leaving your belly on display, giving Gator a good view of the belly button piercing he hadn’t realized you had before as it gleamed against your sunkissed skin. You hum as you stand in front of your vanity, arms lifting up as you brush your hair, slicking it back so you can put it up into a claw clip. Your top is the same material as your bottoms, only from wait Gator can tell, much thinner. You are clearly not wearing a bra, your nipples standing at attention under the fabric and he wonders briefly if you’re cold or if the material is tickling you..either way, he found himself thinking that he’d be more than happy to help you remedy the situation if you wanted him to. He swallows thickly as he realizes that you don’t have the zip done up all the way either, your tits pushed up and practically spilling out, but somehow, when you turn around to ask him how your hair looks, he realizes that it’s a perfectly innocent outfit on you, cute and almost certainly wholesome to those who might see you around town this afternoon. 

He wondered if you did that on purpose. If you knew you were sexy, but tried to downplay it with the innocent sweetness that always seemed to exude from you, whether it be in personality or your clothing. He wanted to find out. 

“You look fine..” He tells you, smiling gently at you from his spot on your bed. You beam with happiness, and the sight alone made him want to tell you that a thousand more times if it meant you would smile like that again. “I’m gonna go use the bathroom and get dressed, meet me out by the car?” You hum in agreement and he watches you grab your little white purse off of the top of your dresser, where you had tossed it when you walked in. He narrows his eyes but doesn't say anything, did you think he wouldn’t pay for everything? He wondered as he watched you step out into the hallway. 

“I am so fucked..” He breathes when the door closes behind you, letting out a relieved breath as he removed your thankfully thick comforter from his lap where it had been doing a mighty fine job of concealing his erection that had begun to pop up as he was watching you merely do your hair. 

You try to go down the stairs as quietly as you can, wanting to just slip out the door and avoid Boyd as much as you can, though he seems to sense you before you’ve even made it halfway down. 

“Y/N, my office.” He says (though you don’t see him anywhere), using your birth name in a tone of voice that sends shivers down your spine. You wondered if it was too late to turn around and run back up to your room, to lock yourself in there with Gator, where you knew you were safe..

You close your eyes, taking a deep breath as you step off of the bottom stair and onto the antique rug that lay at the bottom. “Yes, Boyd?” You ask softly, stepping through the doorway of his office when you feel confident enough. If you needed Gator, you knew you would only need to scream and he would come running. 

He looks up from his desk, eyebrows tightly knitted together. He’s poised to say something, though it never leaves his lips and instead, he purses them as he zeroes in on your belly. You flush, moving your purse in front of it. You hadn’t told him that you had gotten it done when you turned eighteen. 

“What the hell is that?” He asks, his voice stiff. He was quite the prim and proper man. He disliked piercings, thought they were rebellious and for people who were going to hell. 

“It’s cute, isn’t it?” You say, hoping that you can sway him from his anger. “I got it done on my birthday last year..” He stands from his desk and strides over to you, faster than you had ever seen before. “Boy-” He pushes your purse out of the way and stares down at it. 

“I ought to rip it out.” He says, voice seething. “It makes you look like a fucking whore, Pearl. Is that what you are? Are you a fucking whore?” You figured this wouldn’t be a good time to tell him that you most definitely were not a virgin. “Your mother would be asha-”

 thwack. 

Your hand stung from the force of the blow you had dealt to his face, smacking him so hard that his head flung to the side. “You do not get to tell me about what my mother would think of me.” You say, tears welling in your eyes. “Not when she was alive, and certainly not fucking now..she was my mom before she was ever your wife, you’d do well to remember that, Boyd.” 

You don’t know what came over you, but you had had enough of your mother being held over your head. You knew that she wouldn’t ever think you were a whore. She wouldn’t ever make you feel the way this man did, and she never did, even when she was alive. Even through all of the years of keeping Boyd’s abuse a secret from her, you knew that your mother had loved you, had cherished you. That was one thing that he had never been able to beat into your head, though he never ceased to try. 

You seem to have shocked him into silence for once in his life, and you take it as you winning whatever the fuck this standoff was, triumphantly but still on edge you turn on your heel and walk out, all but running to the front door before he comes to his senses and chases after you. 

You’re crying by the time Gator comes outside a few moments later, you’re standing next to the Jeep when the front door closes. Quickly, hoping he doesn’t notice you wipe your eyes, brushing away the stray tears as he comes down the walk. Even from where you were you could see his eyebrows furrow, the pep in his step turning into a brisk walk as he rushes towards you. 

“Pearl? What’s wrong, hon?” He asks, voice oddly gentle. One hand cups your face when you try to turn away, wiping away tears as they start to fall again. Your hand still hurts from how hard you had hit him, and you cradle it in your other one. “Why’re you cryin’?” 

You shake your head, looking over his shoulder as best as you can. Boyd is watching you guys from his office window. “Not here..please..” You whisper, looking up at him. “He’s watching us..” He looks briefly over his shoulder, his body shielding your own. “Let’s just go..please..” 

He ushers you into the passenger side of your Jeep, opening and closing the door for you before going around to get in, silently starting the engine before he starts pulling down the drive. It’s not until he’s halfway to town that he speaks again. 

“What happened, pearl?” His voice is soft, gentle and calming but you understand that there’s an edge to it. That finding you in tears wasn’t something that was going to easily be let go in his book and part of you found comfort in that notion. 

“I smacked him.” The car stops so quickly that you have to smack your hand on top of the dashboard to keep yourself from being choked out by your seatbelt. “Ow..” You pout, shaking out your still smarting hand. 

Gator turns to face you completely, one hand still on the wheel as he peers at you from the driver's side. “You did what?” A sense of pride swelled up inside of him at your words, but he was so shocked that he wasn’t sure he had actually heard you properly. 

Your lips quiver as you look at him. “He..he told me i looked like a whore because of my belly button piercing..” His hand tightened on the steering wheel. “And i..and then he told me he should rip it out and that my mama would be ashamed of me and i don’t know what came over me but I smacked him..” Tears glistened in your eyes as you looked up at him, pouty lips and all. “Are you mad at me?” 

What kind of silly question was that? “Babygirl..why would I ever be mad at you for standing up for yourself?” He asks you, and you could have started bawling. “I would be mad if you hadn’t hit him for talking to you that way, you know?” He says, his hand coming to your face to wipe the tears falling from your eyes away. You lean into his touch and he presses his hand against your face even harder as if he was trying to soothe your mind. “Pearl, if anyone ever talks to you that way again or in any fuckin’ way that offends you, you give them what's comin’ you hear me? Even if it’s me.” Just thinking about talking to you that way makes him want to smack his own self. “No, especially if it's me.” You give a teary eyed nod and he leans over the console to place a surprisingly gentle kiss to your forehead. “Good, now let's get you something to eat, okay? Make you feel better..” 

You knew it was too late in the day for it, but you finally weren’t too shy to ask him for it. “Can we get an iced coffee, please Gator?” And somehow, just like always when it came to him in the short time you’d known him, you got what you wanted, he even went in with you this time before walking with you to the diner, enjoying the nice afternoon air with your hand slipped in his. 

It was practically dinner time but neither of you had actually eaten anything yet that day, having spent all of it sleeping and neither of you were surprised when you ordered the heaviest things you could imagine. The two of you talked throughout your meals, eating slowly to enjoy the time together without even realizing it, you enjoyed hearing him tell you about his friends and how he couldn’t wait for you to meet them, all the while people were stopping by your guys’ booth to say hello or introduce themselves and congratulate you guys on your engagement. The entire time however, your mind is locked on to one thought, and it makes you quiet after a while (which is fine because Gator can talk enough for the both of you when he wants to). 

“Whatcha thinkin’ about over there?” He asks suddenly, bringing you out of your thoughts. You’re pushing your side order of french fries around your plate, whats left of your biscuits and gravy coating them. “Whatever it is, looks like you’re pondering awful hard on it..”

You open your mouth to answer before closing it again, not wanting to sound..well..you weren’t sure how you didn’t want to sound but whatever it was, you were worried that your thoughts were going to make you sound annoying in some way or another. “Gator, can I ask you something?” You ask quietly, to which he only hums, taking a bite of his giant burger. “Um..when we..you know..get married..are..is it..um..are we going to like..see other people?” You cringe at your own words, surprised when he chokes on his mountain dew. “Gat-”

“What?” He asks, looking at you as if you were a cat that had grown five heads right in front of him. 

“Well, it’s just that.. You know..I know both of us are being forced to do this..” You start wrinkling your nose in disgust at your own words and wishing you could turn time back about fifty seconds so you wouldn’t have to keep living through this. “We barely know each other, let alone love each other..so i was just..thinking that it’s..it’s okay if you want to carry on a relationship with someone else once we’re..married…” 

The look on his face was one of someone who had just seen a puppy being kicked. Hurt and confusion masked his face as he made a strangled noise in the back of his throat. “No.” He says, finally finding his voice after a few long moments. “It’s not.” You look up at him, confused. “We are getting married, Pearl. The only relationship that should be carried on is with each other..I know we haven’t known each other long, but i’m doing my best here to try and..try and date you at least before we have to go and say ‘I do’ in front of the whole entire town..” He scratches the back of his neck, looking out the large window and into the light of the slowly setting sun. “I want us to have a chance, as crazy as it sounds..You deserve to be happy, Pearl, and I suppose I do too despite what our parents seem to believe..I was hoping to give us a chance at that with each other, you know?” 

You were stunned. You couldn’t think of any words to say as he stares at you, wide eyed and skin flushed, as if he were embarrassed. You find yourself sliding out of the bench seat on your side of the booth and sidling up next to him. “Pea-umhf” You kiss him. Both hands on either side of his face, body as close to his as you can possibly get in the tight fit between the table and seat. He seems completely stunned but doesn’t hesitate to kiss you back, his large hand cupping a side of your face, fingers tangling in your hair as he pulls you harder against his side, struggling to turn to face you properly in the small space. 

You have to take a deep breath when you finally pull away, your mind hazy from the lack of oxygen reaching your brain. Your lips felt swollen and bruised from the intensity of the moment and dammit if you didn’t like it. “So..we’re dating?” You ask, cheeks flushed as you situate yourself next to him, reaching across the tabletop for your dr. pepper. You stay sitting next to him for the rest of dinner, his arm over your shoulders, both of you sneaking in little kisses in between mouthfuls of food.��

taglist: @ruth-barnes @justherebecausesafarisucks @daisy-is-a-writer @xxbookdrunkdemigodxx @girlwiththerubyslippers @keerygal @lilllbabyyy @boa-hemian @sweetdazequeen @emilyj444 @whisperingwillowxox @babyqnn @lou-la-lou @aestheticaltcow @finalmoondragon @boxofsmittens @pollyspocketdimension @kassy-munson @frostandflamesfanfic @mysticalstar30 @totally-bogus-timelady @nerdypinupcrystal @emmiecrush5-blog @witchcovenboys @starksbabie @marrowfrog00 @boop369 @lelenikki @xmalfoyweasleyx @girlwiththerubyslippers @keerysfolklore @gothicwidowsworld @palmtreesx3 @sacr1ficial-lamb @kingdomkitten32 @littlelovebug98 @cillsnostalgia @stardancerluv @iamaconfusedpan @cupofjoekeery @underthecanyonmoon

[whoops-im-obsessed]

Everything I remember from mischief movie night last night!!

Last night (13/8/24) was 'In-Tents Love' a rom-com set in a summer camp for troubled youths featuring a Parisian anime scene. Because.. of course.

Henry Lewis Oscar!! Bro was having so much fun with this, he was just grinning at his castmates the whole time

Cast was Shields, Josh, Niall, Bryony, Susan and Ellie!

Started with someone suggesting Hull as a location which got a round of applause and Henry Lewis to say 'we never should have written that fucking line'

Whole cast were very scared by the anime suggestion

The movie started with a song which started with Niall singing 'IM TROUBLED' and everyone sung about what they'd done to end up here and that there's gonna be troubleeee for me! And troubleeee for you!

Shout out to the late comers in the front row who got pointed at and told there would be trouble for them

Niall (Bobby) hugs things so hard they die

Bryony (Mary Sue) sets stuff on fire and lives alone in a tent

Josh (Tommy) I actually don't remember

Susan (Sue?? Was referred mostly to as mystery girl) seemed to be there for no reason

And Ellie (token Penelope) stole 1000 bees

Shields (Richard) was in charge of the camp

After the song Bobby and Tommy had a conversation and it was implied that they would be the love interests until it was revealed that Bobby killed Tommy's dog by hugging it too hard, still were potential love interests until Bobby said 'how's dad?' And Oscar had to call a pause and yell 'THEYRE BROTHERS'

The other characters are getting to know each other by the river, Mary Sue sets a fire and Mystery girl (who maybe had a name by now idk) doesn't know what it is and kept touching it (fire admirably played by Niall and the blue cloth)

Its revealed that Penelope has a crush on Tommy! The others tell her she needs to go for it. She decides she's gonna give him a dead bee.

It is revealed in this scene that mystery girl is here for a reason and its actually because she has loads of underage sex

Cue Josh joined quickly by Shields and Niall chanting 'sex~' while doing a camp little dance

Cut to a directors (Josh) interview where he was asked why he decided to have 3 grown men chanting sex in the back of this scene and he said he went to an all boys boarding school and that's just what they did there. He was promptly arrested.

The girls sing a song about the birds and the bees which turned into a sing along chorus where we all had to go 'what about beeees? What about beeees? What about bees? And Birds!'

Bobby and Tommy are about to have a breakthrough and say they love eachother when Penelope goes along and interrupts the brotherly bonding by giving Tommy a dead bee on a piece of string as a ring. He is disgusted and then into it and they go on a date.

Bobby is heartbroken bc he has a crush on Penelope and Richard gives him some advice - you miss all the shots you don't take. During this they were playing basketball and Richard was very good and didn't let anyone else have a turn. When Bobby did have a turn he missed.

It turns out Richard read Bobby's diary to learn about his crush and the Parisian anime scene is him trying to find it - cue Shields doing dramatic moves and a strong French accent trying to find 'La Diary!!!' When he found it, it granted him 'POWER'

The bee was apparently 'Einstein's bee' and when asked to explain, the director said he sneezed on the keyboard and kept it in, he was then asked where the bodies were.

The next scene started with Tommy doing an odd ballet dance which Oscar promptly paused

Tommy and Penelope were on their date on a boat, during the set up for this scene Bryony whacked Ellie in the head with a walking stick (oops)

Penelope only knows how to row in circles

The two talk and Penelope is too eager, telling Tommy she loves him, he doesn't like this and jumps off the boat and swims away. Penelope gets stuck going in circles.

Cut to Bobby and Mary Sue having a nice chat, they decide to be friends and sing a song about how amazing it is to be friends! This is interrupted by Tommy who asks Mary Sue on a date and Bobby is broken hearted a second time

Neither Josh nor Susan remembered Mary Sue's name and tried several ways to get around it, interrupted by Oscar, until they ended up saying she had 'Marie energy'

Mary Sue and Tommy go on a fishing date where Mary Sue throws rocks into the river to kill the fish. Tommy says how much he likes her and She doesn't like it and runs away.

Penelope is distraught and goes to Richard for advice, she's upset that everyone is pairing off and she doesn't have anyone. There's an interlude where Richard is met by Lord Gerald who runs all of the summer camps and wanted to check up on him. It seems there may be something there until the police arrive questioning Richard's intentions - Oscar interrupts this so it doesn't descend into madness and the scene continues with Gerald repeating Richard's name several times, as up until this point he didn't have one.

When Gerald leaves, Penelope is upset because Richard was supposed to be giving her advice! He gives her the same advice as he gave Bobby and its a sweet scene until she eats the bee and spits it back out. She takes a shot with the basketball and also misses.

The girls meet up by the river again and agree that boys are bad. The mystery girl introduces the concept of lesbianism and Mary Sue has a bit of a realisation - this looks like it might turn into another song until Bobby interrupts to say Tommy is hanging off the balcony

Tommy is upset and claims the balcony is his safe space - everyone agrees this is not a very safe space actually.

They try to calm him down and Bobby eventually tells Tommy he loves him, they get Tommy down and they have a hug, which doesn't kill anything this time.

Its revealed that Richard has actually been reading everyone's diaries and was trying to get them all to have sex the whole time. He learns about the concept of familial love and decides to turn himself in

The kids decide they aren't gonna go back to their horrible home lives and that they're just gonna stay at camp actually, they learn they can choose their own family and its very sweet

It ends with a song about the birds and the bees again, which goes 'the birds and the bees, the bees and the bees! What ever you please at summer camp!'

[darcyfangirlsfrequently]

My reactions to the finale of Criminal Minds: Evolution season 2

I can't believe we're already at the end 😭

20 minutes of lost connection. I'm sure Penelope isn't panicking at ALL

Oh yeah that doesn't look good. That looks VERY not good.

And we start off with Dave! Alive (unsurprised) but injured/trapped (unsurprised) and talking to a hallucination of Voit (UNSURPRISED)

Tara's alive my QUEEEN!! And uninjured!

Tara trying not to cry about the fact that her gf, i mean, Emily is still MIA

And Emily and Frank Church are kidnapped. Lovely!!

Yay! Church is dead!

Canon use of the nickname "Em" for Emily!!!

Hello, Peter B! Nice to finally meet you!

I'm very surprised that Jade ISN'T dead

Jade's backstory breaks my heart

And they're making me emotional about Damien and Jade. AGAIN.

Oh shit she's bringing up Cyrus and Doyle and Mr. Scratch

Collecting my garvez crumbs!! I'm sure they had a very emotional, tearful, hugs-and-kisses reunion off screen.

Luke looking so intently at her ahhhh

Oh, Pete B must hold Prentiss responsible for something? Could it be, I don't know, the death of his older brother Doug?

SHOCKER Doug is Pete's older brother.

Voit GIGGLING makes my skin crawl

EMILY HAS A SISTER???? HAS THIS ALWAYS BEEN A THING???? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THAT???

"I didn't mean it like that" mean it like what??? I am so confused.

Luke the way you're always staring at her face is gonna clue someone in

Rossi telling THE DIRECTOR "if emily dies so do you, bitch"

"Can we turn down the testosterone for a second" rebecca don't make me like you

And all of a sudden the director is chill???

Help Voit has me CACKLING

"our girl" ew no you do NOT

"Your boyfriend's dead because you shot him, babe," EMILY???

the emphasis on deepfake with the glance over at luke *shudders* i know jj is watching this and feeling sick to her stomach

"but jenny i told you about this" VILE SICK DISGUSTING NO

"calm down, big guy" 😂😂😂

Tyler has me rolling with laughter

TY TY AND LUCAS I'M CRYING WITH LAUGHTER

Not Penelope making Voit physically uncomfortable by just LOOKING at him. my QUEEN.

the way i get giggly when luke calls her "Penelope" and not "Garcia"

"hey did you watch BAUgate yet" shut the FUCK UP

EW EW ELIAS USED FOOTAGE OF HIS WIFE???

JJ slayed that scene

i know they make it out of this. but i can't figure out how

Luke saving everyone's life on a HUNCH we stan

oh no jade still has the gold star bullet

i don't think jade is going to shoot them i think she's going to shoot herself

"will you listen to me, this time?" jade got me SOBBING

MILA AND JADE REUNION I'M SOBBING

PETE AND HIS PARENTS I'M SOBBING EVEN HARDER

no no. do NOT tell me that after all this i'm getting a GREENCIA scene.

okay false alarm. he seems to still be down bad-ish for her but she seems neutral (maybe bc she's dating someone else currently in that room)

Luke the heart eyesssssss

and tebecca is offically back together. my temily heart is crying.

"the worst part of dating a guy, no offense," *pats luke on the shoulder* DYING

"none taken" luke knows men ain't shit

"I'm just glad someone acknowledged the height disparity" luke you and your gf have THE SAME HEIGHT DIFFERENCE

Luke comforting Tyler DAMN i am loving this blossoming bromance

luke making eyes at Pen as they toast sir I SEE YOU

and voit's maybe dead! yay!

Look. so, my secret dating garvez theory wasn't proved right. BUT it has yet to be proved WRONG, so I shall continue to believe into the next season

Honestly I'm kind of underwhelmed by the finale. It was good, but I feel like it is very complete and there's no real cliffhanger left to continue on with another season. But I am liking what's happening with the caracters so far.

[bsverryin]

: ̗̀➛ Sending genshin men the wrong message

Part 2

Who?

╰┈➤ Kaeya, Childe, Zhongli

Situation?

╰┈➤ you sent the wrong message to your boss which was supposed to be for your brother.

✎ this is an au !! Characters is your boss who likes you secretly. ⚠️ Use of cuss words... This is requested!! 🫶 enjoy <3 cannot assure you of perfect grammar but I hope everyone likes it !!

: ̗̀➛ ZHONGLI

Your brain was so dead that you gave zhongli the wrong message and when you realized it all you could say was "oh" but it screamed everything. You tried to not let your boss get a glimpse of you in any way. It was so embarrassing that you're talking about how your boss acts. He didn't really care about others opinions whether it's from gossip or truth but YOU literally just sent it to him through message.

He was used to people calling him "grandpa" so it wasn't a big deal to him but it did make him think how does a grandpa act and how does he act it like everyone says? So the next day he called you into his office you just gave him a very awkward smile when you thought he was distraught to you.

"For how long do you as well as the staff want the rest you mentioned?" You stopped giving him an awkward smile and glanced at him with a blank expression, was your boss really asking you about that? You felt more embarrassed that you didn't know what to say so then he finally talked again.

"I'm serious about it, please try to look more pleasant in front of me, Ms. Y/n." At this moment, you just wanted to say sorry and run away and never meet him again but you know you can't so you tried your best to act chill when your body and mind feels anxious. It's making you nervous enough when you see your boss in the hallway and talking to him never crossed your mind, you were used to messaging him and giving him email for work purposes but talking to him with another attitude? He must be so disappointed.

"You're already giving us the rest that we deserve sir! We don't have to ask for more. We truly appreciate you. I was only messing around"

Zhongli felt relieved when he heard that as you gave him another awkward smile. After that, Zhongli gave everyone more free-time and tried to understand each one of you especially you. You were wrong when you said that he gives off grandpa vibes because all you can see right now was him trying to make everyone feel less intimated and comfortable around him. He thanked you for that and for the wrong message you sent because you wouldn't ever date him or know him better if it wasn't for that silly behavior of yours.

: ̗̀➛ KAEYA

At first, you thought it was fine sending those wrong messages to your boss, Kaeya but the womanizer part was straight up embarrassing. All he ever did was try to be nice to everyone then you called him "womanizer". The only reason why you sent the wrong message to him instead of your brother was because you're too excited thinking about your boss.

The next day after you didn't have to worry that much because he said he found it funny and you didn't have to say sorry, he was just confused at first and thought it was for him but then he realized that you sent the wrong messages and laughed with you about it after explaining it to him.

"Who knows if I'm a womanizer or not?" He was playful when you talked about those messages, he talked like he was really enjoying it and doesn't ever want to forget it no matter how many times you said that you didn't mean to write those messages and just forget it like it never happened.

He continued guiding everyone, he's very great and fun that was one part of the reason why you liked him more than a boss. You knew he won't ever accept your love for him that's why you just kept everything secretly for the sake of your crazy self but he gives those mixed signals that you didn't know what he really felt. Maybe he's truly a womanizer and you're one of his girls but he looks too sincere sometimes.

When you told him how you felt about him, you expected him to laugh about it but instead he blushed and told you he also likes you from the moment you sent those funny wrong messages, you gave him an annoyed look when he told you about those messages again but it's destiny just bringing you two together.

: ̗̀➛ CHILDE

Childe found it funny, like you just made his whole year exciting because of that message but you on the other side are too embarrassed to even face him. Childe was sometimes strict but mostly he's not, he doesn't want to overwork his employees. He avoids doing that, and he's just strict when he needs to like when everyone's gossiping around and completely forgetting about their work, it makes him really mad but when his employees are working really hard, he gives them expensive snacks and coffee that's why his employees were loyal to him and you're one of them, he's just that rich!.

So minutes later when you sent him the wrong messages, you entered his office and he saw you, he immediately gave you a big smile like he was having fun. You immediately gave him every file and emails that were sent for him and when you're about to leave he called out your name.

"Y/N.."

"Yes, sir?" You acted calm and not bothered but your inner thoughts were slowly killing you inside. What if he gets mad about what you said and never buys anyone those free food and coffee anymore?

"How many of those snacks would you like to eat today, Y/N?" You never ever expected those words from him like was he being sarcastic or was he serious?

"Any is enough sir!" And you took the safe way. You were hesitating whether to say I'm sorry or you needed 5 of those snacks he gave because you still haven't eaten and your stomach was rumbling like crazy.

"I'll have it delivered. Please get at least 3 or more, Y/N. I don't want my employees to be hungry while working." He said as he gave you another big smile and thanked you for giving him those emails and files as you left his office you were happy and jumping around like a kid, he said you can get at least 3 or more and you really heard it right!

After that moment, he always gives everyone those free snacks and coffee and always an extra for you. He messages you sometimes in your number where you sent those wrong messages to him and you just found each other being friends and liking each other not just platonically. You always make him the happiest that he can be and he appreciates you, so when you started dating he'd give you everything that you're craving for just to make sure you're full and never hungry.

[barbiewritesstuff]

Strauss blocked : Part 1

---

Am I bad at naming fics? Yes.

Welp this was supposed to be a 2k porn without plot and it turned into 8k words two part series... oops? I just hope it lives up to expectations :)

I just want to thank my bestie @Igg5989 for beta reading (and helping me write) and @ravensmadreads for giving me the inspiration fir this fic.

Tw: this is SMUT, IF YOU ARE UNDER 18 GTFO I DON'T WANT YOU HERE OR ANYWHERE NEAR MY BLOG. Age gap relationship, boss x employee relationship, p in v sex and all that good stuff

Taglist: @feedthemadness-sweetie

---

Section Chief Strauss was many things but when it came to working cases on the field, efficient was not one of them. She had tagged along under the excuse of performing personal performance reviews, assuring the team that she would not be getting in the way. She promised she’d merely be a ‘silent observer’ and to her credit, she had lasted an hour in that role before interjecting in every conversation and second guessing every decision any of you ever made, and because she outranked you all, her will was your command. 

“I think she showed remarkable restraint,” Spencer joked, trying to lighten your souring mood, “I didn’t think she’d last an hour,” he added.

“Did she really have to pull rank when I tried to order breakfast? Like why does she care that I like syrup on my french toast?” you asked, sudden rage exploding out of you with an intensity Spencer could never have predicted, “No, apparently ‘Girls my age won’t be thin and pretty forever, I should watch my diet before my sugar intake starts affecting things’. What a fucking bitch.”

Spencer flinched, “Yikes, I didn’t think she actually said that. I thought you were exaggerating,” he admitted.

“I didn’t even paraphrase,” you replied, looking straight ahead at the investigation board. It had been filled up pretty nicely and evidence has been coming in, but despite knowing all there is to know about the victims, their habits, friends, families and lives, you were not even close to figuring out who he is. 

And that was largely because Section Chief Erin Strauss wouldn’t let you. 

Somehow, she thought that because she couldn’t stand crime scenes and dead bodies, you couldn’t either. It was true that the crime scenes are brutal, and even Morgan came back looking a little greener than when he left, but this was your job. A job she wanted to review your performance for all while not actually letting you out of the station. 

You thought maybe it was because you’re a girl. The only girl currently on the field team because Emily broke her foot and JJ was off for her annual holiday and while Garcia was your constant companion on the phone, you felt like Strauss didn’t actually realise she was a real person. She never said thanks, or please and she kept hanging up while Penelope was still speaking. You took a deep breath, if you weren't careful soon enough you’d be the one they’d have to put behind bars. Or not, because with the way she was behaving you had a feeling Aaron wouldn’t mind giving you a couple of false alibis.

Because as bad as she was with you, she was worse with him. 

He was a good chief, kind and caring when he needed to be but professional and just the right kind of demanding. A few years ago you’d have added a couple more flaws to that descriptions -- bully, drill sergeant, the kind of man who found it easier to trust men than women even if there’s no reason for it -- but he’d grown on you. Your relationship with him has changed. At first he was just a boss, someone you’d go home and complain to your boyfriend about. Then, when Haley asked for a divorce and you got out of your own relationship after finding out your boyfriend wasn’t half as nice as you thought he was, you became friends.

And recently it had changed again. 

You had finally managed to schedule a night out with the girls after unsuccessfully trying to find a date for the seventh time that month. It had been fun, you had all danced, drunk and chatted until the early hours of the morning before calling it quits and returning home. Which is where you had been when Hotch happened to be walking by, or rather, you had been in front of your home when he happened to be walking by. You almost didn’t recognise him, he had shed the usual work suit for a casual pair of jeans and a nice shirt. 

“Hi,” he said, clearly not expecting to see anyone he knew so late -- or early -- in the day.

“Hi,” you replied hesistantly, not wanting to betray just how tipsy you were even as you swayed by your door

“You okay?” he asked, “Not too cold?” he added, helpfully pointing towards your dress. You looked down to see what you meant. Looking to have a good time and maybe bring someone home, you hadn’t dressed particularly sensibly for the time of year. In fact, you had chosen the shortest dress you owned, a golden number that showed off plenty of cleavage and left nothing to the imagination. 

You looked up, horrified to see him smirking.

“I -- err -- I locked myself out,” you said, hoping to get yourself out of that awkward moment by changing the subject.

“I don’t live too far away, you can sleep over. We’ll call a locksmith in the morning,” he offered.

“It’s okay,” you assured him.

Hotch frowned at you, “I’m not having you become one of those girls on Dateline,” he countered. You knew he wouldn’t force you, but if you refused his offer, you would officially kiss a night in a nice warm house goodbye as your only other option was your car. 

“Fine,” you acquiesced. He shot you one of his rare smiles, one of the ones that lit up his own face and that made the usual ball of nerves you felt in your stomach at the sight of one of the FBI higher ups turn into a horde of fluttering butterflies. He didn’t usually give them out easily and you wondered if this one was aided by alcohol. As you approached him, your theory was confirmed. Beneath his nice aftershave and his usually minty breath you could vaguely smell whiskey. Your drunken brain stored that fact for the next office secret santa, you just had to rig it so you’d pull his name. 

“Date?” Hotch asked after a few moments of silence, the click of your heels against pavement echoing through the night.

“Just out with friends,” you replied, accidentally bumping into him as you walked.

“Me too,” he said, “College reunion.”

It felt weird having him volunteer that much information. Aaron Hotchner was the kind of man who liked to keep his work and home life separated and rarely ever let anyone in. Letting the team in on details of his divorce had been as hard and painful as the divorce itself so you never imagined he’d happily volunteer information about what he did in his spare time. 

“I had too much to drink,” he added in a whisper, like it was a confession, “I get chatty when I drink,” he grinned at you. 

“I can see that,” you giggled at him. You hadn’t meant it in any other way than a statement but Hotch grew serious anyway.

“You can tell me to shut up if I annoy you,” he said, looking at the pavement. 

“No I--” you protested, part of you wondering if the reason he kept quiet wasn’t because of professionalism but rather because he thought people wouldn’t care

“I like chatty you,” you said and he looked up, smiling at you for the second time in twenty minutes, “I also like smiley you,” you added.

“Did you have fun?” you asked a little later, for some reason, silence with Hotch now felt opressive.

“It was nice seeing them all. It’s weird though, they’ve all changed so much that I barely recognise them. Like, I look in the mirror and I think I look pretty much the same, I mean older obviously, but like I look the same,” he said, “and then I look at them and --” he brought his hands up to his head and mimicked an explosion, “I haven’t missed them though,” he added with a giggle.

“No?” You questioned, looking at him curiously. 

“God, no. Pretentious assholes,” he replied with a heavy sigh. 

“Sweetie, you went to George Washington University,” you laughed, “Of course they’re all pretentious.”

“Fair point, Agent,” he smiled. 

“Y/n,” you corrected, “My name is Y/n when we’re off the clock.” 

“And mine is Aaron,” he replied

“Well, Aaron, can you tell me how far away we are from yours? My feet are killing me,” 

“Not too far,” he replied, “Do you see your college friends often?”

“Not the majority of them. We keep in contact, call sometimes but there’s only five I see regularly. They’re the girls I went out with,” you informed him. 

“Are they nice?” He asked, “My bunch are…,” he hesitated, “They keep making these underhand digs at those who they see as less successful. I don’t think I’ll go to the next one. It just feels like a dick measuring contest,” he said, then clapped a hand in front of his mouth once he heard you laugh and realised he had sworn, “Sorry,” he apologised, “Oh my God, I’m so sorry. I’m trying not to swear because Jack is picking up on it. It’s not going great I keep fucking it up -- no wait! Shit! -- No! Fuck!” he exclaimed, accidentally letting out a swear whenever he realised what he had done. You couldn’t stop laughing and stopped for a moment, leaning against a tree to catch your breath. 

“I am polite,” he assured you, “pinky promise,” he added

“I believe you,” you grinned

“I am so polite that when I get home, I am going to offer you a coffee,” he said. 

“And I will accept,” you said, “I need to sober up, otherwise I’m going to have one hell of a hangover tomorrow. And believe me, you don’t want to meet me when I’m hungover.”

“Eh,” he shrugged, “You’re young, it’ll pass quickly. I remember when I was your age, a hangover was just a headache, now? I have to take a sick day to recover.”

“Aren’t you exaggerating a little?” you asked

“Never,” he grinned, “Okay, maybe a little.”

“You are allowed to take days off, Aaron,” you reminded him, “You’re human, you deserve a break.”

He shrugged again, “What would I do during a break? Haley has divorced me, Jack’s only here one week every other week… I don’t want to spend more time in my empty house than I need.”

“You can go to the movies?” you offered, “Have you seen Avatar?”

“Can I be honest?” he asked, “Those blue people creep me out.”

“That is fair,” you replied, “I don’t like the hair,” 

“Yes!” he exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in victory, “They look like elephant trunks,” he added, “My house is there,” Hotch pointed to your left at a small white brick house. One that you had passed many times when you walked your elderly neighbour’s dog. Hotch opened the wooden gate and walked up the path, accidentally tripping on a badly placed stone.

“Watch your step,” he whispered to you. Clumsily, he fished his keys out of his pocket and tried to fit it in the door in the limited light of the porch lamp. Eventually, he got it in and turned it in the lock. It opened with a click. 

“It’s nice,” you said, stepping in behind him

“Liar,” he answered, flicking the light on, “It’s dark. Was. It isn’t anymore.”

“Well it’s nice anyway,” you said, looking around. Although the furniture looked old, it was nice and it looked expensive. On one of the rare nights you had gone on as a team, Hotch had mentioned briefly living alone in Seattle when discussing rent with Emily, and you wondered if this wasn’t one of the remnants of that time. 

“Do beer goggles work on furniture too?” he joked. You stuck out your tongue at him and he grinned. 

“I thought you were polite?” you said, reminding him of his promise.

“Right! Yes! Would you like a coffee?”

“Milk and sugar please,” you answered, trying to undo the straps of your shoes and failing, wiggling your feet out of the heels instead. You’d figure out how to unclasp the buckle in the morning, when you were sober and your feet were killing you less. 

“Do you like DC?” he asked, handing you a steaming mug of coffee a few minutes later. You nodded, taking a sip, burning your lip in the process. Hotch saw you wince and bring a hand up to your mouth and immediately moved to your rescue.

“I am such an idiot,” you said.

“Don’t say that,” he frowned, grabbing your hand by the wrist and moving it away from your lip, “Let me see.”

He leant towards you, staring intently at your mouth. Your head swam more with every second he spent close to you. At work it was easy to keep your all consuming attraction to Aaron Hotchner at bay. He was your boss and maintained a professional distance at all times, preferring to call you Agent, and never asking anything for information about you beyond what he needed to know to feel like you could do the job. But with him so close to you, it was easy to allow yourself to close the gap between your mouths and kiss him.

To your surprise, he returned the kiss eagerly, slipping his tongue into your mouth and battling yours for dominance before seemingly regaining his composure and pulling away.

“We should stop,” he said, then, he hesitated, “Should we stop?”

“No, definitely not,” you answered, pulling him back towards you. Seemingly convinced, Aaron let his hands wander over your body before tapping the side of your thigh. Almost automatically, you jumped up, wrapping your legs around his waist and rolled your hips against yours. Hotch groaned, blindly stumbling his way towards the sofa where he placed you down on your back. He joined you on the pleather furniture, towering over you with a mischievous grin as he removed his shirt in one smooth movement and unbuckled his belt. 

“Like what you see?” he asked and you gulped. Although you had spent much of your private time imagining what Hotch looked like without a shirt you had never managed to get it right. His soft but toned dad bod seemed even more attractive in person. You raised one of your hands up in the air, gently grazing his skin and tangling your fingers in his chest hair, Hotch closed his eyes and sighed.

“Care to undress me?” you asked, Aaron’s eyes fluttered open as he came back to reality. He looked at you, eager and impatient underneath him and he smiled. He bent down, grabbing your dress by the hem. You lifted your waist up and allowed him to shuffle it upwards, slowly revealing what you kept underneath. 

You silently thanked yourself for wearing nice underwear, because you wouldn’t have wanted to subject Hotch to the panties you usually wore for work. Instead, you had chosen a pretty lavender set comprised of a bralette and a thong, which Aaron seemed very pleased with as once his eyes landed on it, he seemed unable to think rationally, luckily for you, the animalistic part of the brain the lingerie had turned on seemed more than happy to take over. 

Hotch pulled off your thong and shed his trousers and boxer shorts in less time than it took for you to blink. Seeing his erection jump free of his underwear and bump against his pelvis was enough to tell you that Aaron would be bigger than any man you had ever been with. You hesitated for a second, wondering how he would ever fit.

“Do you want to stop?” he asked but you shook your head, shuffling more towards him instead to make the message clearer, “I’ll be gentle,” he assured you. 

One of his hands came to touch your core, gently grazing the sensitive skin before allowing his thumb to rest by your clit. He rubbed circles around it, enjoying every whimper you let out before giving you what you wanted and rubbing your bundle of nerves. The moans that fell from your lips were like music to his ears. He desperately wanted to fit himself inside you, but he wanted to make sure you were ready for him. 

He rubbed you faster, with every touch you could feel the coil of pleasure in your tummy tighten and soon you tipped over the edge and came with a pornographic moan. Exercising all self control, Aaron brough a hand to his cock and jerked it a few times, letting the fingers of his other hand wander down to your aching core. He slipped one finger in, savouring just how tight you were before adding another one. He pumped them in and out of you, stretching you out, adding fingers until he felt you were ready for him. 

Hotch lined himself up with your pussy, gently pressing himself in. You happily swallowed every inch of him and when he bottomed out, he let you adjust for a moment before thrusting himself in and out of you at an accelerating pace. You felt like heaven gripping him so tight that he was sure he wouldn’t last very long. Luckily for him, it didn’t seem like you would either. 

Your hands were clawing at his back, leaving scratch marks that stung deliciously every time Aaron hit that spongey spot inside you, and your moans kept getting louder, spurring him on as he bottomed out and slammed himself back in until he could no longer keep himself from coming. With a groan he spilled himself inside you, triggering your own orgasm. 

You stayed in each other’s arms for a few moments, catching your breaths before Aaron pulled out of you. He smiled at you, leaning down to leave one last kiss upon your swollen lips, leaving your relationship forever changed. 

Part of you wondered if anything had leaked. The both of you had been careful not to speak about it, in private or in public, but you worked with the best profilers the United States had to offer. It was possible someone had figured something out. Or, although you didn’t think she ever would, that Garcia had accidentally seen or heard something she never should have. Hotch wasn’t particularly careful with electronics. They were either in his suit pocket or in the back pocket of his trousers, it had never happened, but what if he had butt dialled someone? 

Although, you figured that was unlikely, since Strauss wouldn’t have come if she had any evidence at all, she would have just fired you. But it did explain why she insisted on sticking with you at all times, or why she had demanded a room right above Hotch’s, even though the hotel clerk, clearly wanting to impress the FBI’s section chief, had confessed to her that the room wasn’t all that soundproof. 

No, sadly, the more likely explanation for her overbearing presence was that she hated the team and how it was run. She thought it was too disorganised, too sloppy, and that its subpar running posed a threat to the FBI. You had to roll your eyes at that, you had been in many departments, working as an intern, then a secretary and eventually a full time salaried employee. You had seen more of the FBI than Strauss ever would, and you could say with absolute certainty that the BAU was the only team you had been a part of who ever filed their paperwork on time. Sure, most of the agents had a smidge of a hero complex and were far too eager to place themselves in danger when it came to unsubs, but the cases got cracked. The bad guys got caught. Reports got written and overtime filed.

And yet, she still insisted on making everything difficult. Quantico and the bullpen provided a little protection against her, you could always duck into a cubicle, blame your inability to speak with her on an ever climbing pile of paperwork -- even if you sometimes pulled empty sheets of paper out of the printer to bulk it up a little when it got a little too bare, a technique you had learnt from Rossi and that you had very quickly shared with the rest of the team. Only Aaron, the only agent whose pile was constituted only of real case files and documents wasn’t participating in the charade -- or simply pick the case the state furthest away from Strauss to escape her grip. 

Maybe she had gotten wide to the ruse and wanted to make you pay for it now. 

----

“Not feeling chatty?” Morgan asked the girl. She hadn’t spoken since Hotch and Spencer had apprehended her coming out of a potential victim’s back garden, red paint splashed all over her clothes. Once she was in cuffs and backup arrived, a message had been uncovered, the same message all the other girls had found and reported days before their untimely deaths. It wasn’t uncommon for unsubs to refuse to talk, although most of them at least demanded a lawyer or answered ‘no comment’ after every question. 

Avery Watts had been utterly silent since her arrival twenty minutes ago, and she hadn’t moved or blinked either. It was eerie, and Morgan was feeling it too. He was trying his best not to show it, but he kept glancing at the two way glass every few seconds, almost trying to reassure himself that if anything went wrong, someone would be able to help. He needn’t have worried. Spencer and you had made your way into the observational cubicle adjoining the interrogation room as soon as she had been brought in and you had been joined seconds later by Strauss, hot on your trail, and a rookie officer up for a promotion in a month and eager to learn. 

Avery shrugged

“Fine, I suggest you make yourself comfortable here then. We’ll be back tomorrow,” Morgan said, standing up from his chair and pushing it back underneath the table. Hotch gathered the papers in front of the unsub and placed them all back into his briefcase, leaving the pictures of the various crime scenes and victims last so she could get one last good look and one last chance for you to notice a reaction but none came. Instead, she grinned at Hotch.

“You don’t have any evidence against me,” the girl said, voice raspy from disuse, “You have to let me go.”

“I don’t need evidence,” Hotch replied, looking her straight in the eyes, “I can hold you for 72 hours without cause,” he added, wiping her self-satisfied little smile right off of her face, “And I will.”

Strauss pressed the comms button on the panel in front of you with a neatly manicured nail, “I really don’t think that is a good idea,” she said, sounding so confident in her own non-existent ability that you almost wanted to scream. You held it in, preferring to glare at her instead. Spencer, who had slowly moved to stand next to you -- whether that was to get a better look or to stop you from throwing your career down the drain you didn’t know -- grabbed your arm and squeezed it reassuringly. 

You smiled at him tensely and he returned the gesture. You were the two youngest members of the BAU task force and while a friendship was always bound to form, no one had been able to predict just how quickly the two of you had clicked. He was the resident genius, the model for the definition of a nerd and you were the ex-prom queen and cheerleading captain everyone at your school had voted ‘Most Likely to sell their soul for lipstick’, if either of you had been any less mature, the friendship would never have worked but as it was, there wasn’t a single day where you didn’t text, call, email or meet up for coffee with Spencer Reid. He was charming and kind, and a better friend than anyone else in your life had ever been. 

“Breathe,” he mouthed but you didn’t catch it, behind the two way glass Hotch moved. He placed the briefcase on the floor and walked up to the mirror.

“I am not letting her back onto the streets,” Hotch stated. As soon as the words left his mouth, the unsub moved. With surprising force, she flipped the interrogation table, breaking the cuffs off of the metal loop screwed onto the bottom of it and rearranged the piece of furniture right on top of SSA Hotchner’s trachea. She leaned in, pressing harder. Reflexively, Aaron tried to breathe in, letting out a raspy sound that raised the hair on your arms. 

You were the first to fly out of the cubicle and into the interrogation room, gun drawn and ready to shoot but when you kicked down the door, Avery moved away from the overturned table, hands raised up in surrender. Spencer came in behind you and immediately jumped to Hotch’s aid while the rookie stayed by the door, gun pointed at Avery, blocking her path in case she tried to leave, and blocking Strauss’ path in case she wanted to come in. You put your gun away and pulled out your cuffs, with a swift press of your foot to the back of her knees you got Avery down to the ground and restrained her. 

“Stay down,” Spencer told Hotch, one hand planted on the upper part of his chest, trying to keep the man from moving, “MEDIC,” he shouted. The rookie officer turned around and booked it through various corridors to get to the main office of the Santa Maria police department. Main office was a big word, only three officers operated the three shifts the day was separated into, with a volunteer officer coming in whenever the grocery store he worked for didn’t need him. The FBI’s presence had changed things a little, the BAU’s team of four and one or two medics permanently assisting the team dwarfing the police force without even really trying. It was lucky the police station had been built by an optimist in the late forties, as they had prepared for a mining boom that had never come and made the precinct much bigger than necessary. So big in fact, that half the rooms remained unused and only three of the twelve holding cells had ever been used at the same time. 

Officer Jones, the rookie whose name badge you finally took the time to look at, came back five minutes later, medics and Rossi in tow. They crowded around Hotch as he slowly regained the ability to breathe and then speak. You wanted to stay, seeing him hurt like that roused feelings in you you usually tried so hard to keep down, but Avery stirred and you suddenly remembered the reason Aaron was currently on the floor, recovering from the unsub’s idea of feng shui. You yanked her up and she yelped, feeling a slight bit of vindication you passed Rossi. He grabbed her other hand and helped you manhandle her down the hall into a badly lit holding cell. A ‘bed’ had been prepared, made from a thin mattress, a pillow and a scratchy blanket, and whoever had prepped the room had had the forethought to bring out a plastic cup of water. You walked her into the cell and uncuffed her. Avery glared at you in a way that told you that if looks could kill, you would have been the newest victims in her growing group. You turned around, walking out of the room as Rossi locked it. He turned away, but a strange sound resonated through the air and the both of you froze. Suddenly, you were showered with something cold and wet and Avery cackled, the plastic cup rolling out from under her cell. 

[hairmetal666]

Steve and Eddie.

Eddie and Steve.

After Vecna, they're inseparable. They share a bed. Always. Twine their legs together and sleep close. No reason to pretend they don't need each other when they so obviously do.

Eddie loves him. He knows it's stupid. Doesn't know how to protect his heart when Steve is everything.

Spring fades into summer, and between nights spent with entangled limbs, Eddie starts to see more in Steve's hazel eyes; soft fondness and gentle care, a flash of heat. Their physical affection goes beyond casual touches--arms around waists, fingers on hips, faces nuzzling against necks, kisses pressed into hair.

It feels like they have all the time in the world, but Robin asks Steve to move to Indy and Steve never mentions it. Eddie pretends like the silence doesn't hurt. They've only ever been just friends, after all.

Then, one night, "I'm moving to Indy."

"Okay, yeah." Eddie tries to keep his voice even, the tears from spilling. it was always a mistake, falling for Steve Harrington.

"Come with me?" Steve's hands are clenched in the duvet.

"I'm moving to New York." He had no plans until this very moment.

Steve falls quiet. "That's nice, Eddie. That's--yeah, you should do that, if it's what you want."

He nods. Ignores the lump in his throat. "Maybe I can really be somebody."

Steve smiles. Eddie's not sure why it looks so sad. "You'll knock 'em dead, Ed."

---

They stay friends, of course they do. There's phone calls and visits, and it's not the same, but it's still good.

Eddie tries to get over him. He does. There are dates, men, possibility. But they're not Steve.

Steve meets a girl--nice, pretty, wealthy--the kind of girl made for a King. It sticks. Eddie likes her. And nobody needs to know that he cries himself to sleep, thinking of what might have been.

The invitation comes in the mail. He throws it in the garbage without a thought, before standing against his counter, knuckles going white where he's gripping into the laminate. Tries to remind himself to keep breathing around the shattering of his heart.

He's not going. Knows he can't take it.

Then, a phone call.

"I'm getting married," Steve says.

"Yeah, just got the invite. Congrats!" Bile in his throat threatens to choke him.

"Will you--you'll stand up there with me?"

Eddie smacks his head repeatedly against the wall. "Of course," is the only possible answer.

---

The wedding is fine. During the ceremony, he tries not to listen to the vows, keeps his eyes on Robin's back and never, ever on Steve. He drinks through the reception. Knows it's too much, knows he's losing control. Can't take watching Steve dance with his new bride, so he sneaks out a side door into an alley, lighting his last cigarette. The nicotine barely hits his lungs before a scuffle of feet interrupts his moment.

"Can I get in on that?" Steve asks.

Eddie squeezes his eyes shut, handing over the cigarette. "What're you doing out here?"

"Haven't really talked to you at all today."

"Well. You've been a little busy." He means it to be a joke but it falls very flat, his bitterness too close to the surface.

Steve exhales a cloud of smoke. "Yeah. Didn't realize weddings were so much work."

Eddie doesn't know what to say, so they fall into silence, passing the smoke back and forth until it burns down to the filter.

"You happy?" Eddie asks. Doesn't think he meant to, doesn't want the answer.

"Ed..."Steve swallows.

"So, yes," he chuckles. It's the most hollow thing he's ever heard.

"It's just--It's normal, you know?"

And it's like Steve punched him, to know they never could've been because Eddie--being with Eddie--would never be normal.

"Right, of course, Harrington. Normal."

"That's not what--I'm not saying--"

"What else could you possibly mean?"

"I want quiet. No monsters, no secret dimensions. Something regular. Easy."

"Six-fucking-nuggets, right? Still a pretty lady in the front seat next to you."

"What's wrong with that? Huh? What's wrong with kids and stability and a fucking life. Not bartending until 4am and playing the occasional gig and living with 18 goddamn people."

Eddie straightens at that, fingers twisting in his button-down. "Sorry my life doesn't meet your exacting standards, King. Sorry I can't be what you want."

He storms away, Steve shouting after him, but he leaves him there with his promising and bright and normal future unfurling before him.

---

They don't talk. One month. Six Months. A Year. Two.

For lack of better to do, for stability, he writes a book. Fantasy. About an Adventurer who helps a group of kids save the world. They're joined by a handsome, mysterious man who seems like an asshole, but helps them selflessly every time. He and the Adventurer are something, but before it's anything real, the stranger is revealed to be their Prince. They save the world, but the Prince has to leave the Adventurer behind.

The book is a hit. Spawns a series. Eddie's somebody.

---

Eddie comes home from the store, paper bag of groceries balanced against his chest.

Steve Harrington, not looking a day older than at his wedding, stands at his door, hands wringing.

"Steve?" He asks.

"Hey, Ed." The nickname twists Eddie's stomach, but he doesn't say anything.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm getting divorced," Steve says.

Eddie almost drops his groceries, his hands shake so hard. He busies himself with the lock, ushering Steve inside.

"Is that all?" He asks.

Steve blinks at him, dazed expression on his still pretty face. "What?"

"You came all this way just to tell someone you haven't spoken to in almost eight years that you're getting divorced? What's it to me?" He stomps into the kitchen with his groceries.

"I wanted--I thought--"

Eddie snorts, makes it mean because he feels mean, wants to make Steve hurt the way he has for years. "You thought? We haven't spoken since your wedding day, man."

"She was ready for kids, and I realized that she's not--she's not who I picture having a family with."

The words pierce him like shattered glass, and he whirls into the living room, into Steve's space. "What the fuck are you doing?" he hisses.

"I wanted you to know, Ed. After all--"

"Stop calling me that. Stop acting like we're friends, for Christ's sake. And I don't give a damn about whatever realization you had once you realized normal wasn't for you."

"I'm trying to make this right!" Pink splotches highlight Steve's cheeks, his anger spiking to match Eddie's.

"There's nothing to fix, Harrington. We're over. It's fine."

"It's not fine," Steve is breathing hard. "I wanted you so badly, and you fucking ran away--"

"Bullshit! I waited for you. And you moved to Indy with Robin without a thought."

"I asked you to come! You were the one who said no."

"You asked a week before you left!"

"I was scared!"

"Of what, Steve? Not having that normal, easy, life you wanted so badly?"

"Of course not!"

"Then why?"

Steve chuckles, steps back. "I always thought you of all people would understand, and now--"

"Not when you come to my house unannounced to unload on me about your divorce because you expect us to pick up like none of it ever happened."

"That's not what I want!"

Eddie turns, pinching the bridge of his nose to cut off the stinging in his eyes. "I can't do this. I think you should leave, Steve."

"Fine." Steve won't look at him, storms to the door. "This was a mistake."

He slams it hard enough it makes the walls shake, picture frames rattle. Eddie can't stop the sob that rips out of him. Entitled, selfish, Steve Harrington, the only man Eddie will ever love. Steve Harrington who thinks love comes with strings attached. Steve Harrington who was afraid of asking Eddie to move away with them. And Eddie, always the coward, stifled by the weight of his own impossible love.

Eddie moves on autopilot, just knows he needs to find Steve, to see if there's a chance.

He skids down the stairs, almost falling a time or two, out into the night. His eyes scan the sidewalk, searching for familiar tall hair, but there's no sign of Steve, no sign--

A soft sob cuts through the air and Eddie's eyes fall to the steps in front of him, to the beautiful man sitting with his head on his knees.

"Steve," he says.

He stands, whirling, face a wreck. "Eddie?"

He doesn't know what to say at first, swallowing and swallowing around nothing. "I--I'm sorry I said no, when you asked me to move with you."

Steve's face does a funny, fracturing thing, even as he gives a little laugh. "I'm sorry I took so long to work up the nerve to ask."

Both of them take a step forward, then stumble together in a clumsy, tear-soaked hug.

"I'm sorry I got too drunk at your wedding," Eddie whispers against his friend's neck.

Steve giggles, but quiets quickly "I'm sorry about the 'normal' thing. I didn't mean it. I was--it doesn't matter. I'm sorry."

They hold each other for a long time on the steps of Eddie's building, rocking gently back and forth. When they finally let go, Eddie pushes Steve's hair off his forehead, asks, "wanna order a pizza and catch up?"

The answering smile is blinding as a sun, and Eddie is just as hopelessly in love as he was at 20.

They walk inside, fingers still entwined, lit up with hope.

"Hey," Steve says as they walk up the stairs together. "Are the Adventurer and the Prince going to find each other again? Because it's been four books now, and I'm still wait--"

Eddie twists his fingers into Steve's t-shirt, pushing him against the stained stairwell wall. "Fuck, Steve, I--"

He's interrupted by Steve closing the distance between their mouths, pulling them together in a searing kiss.

"They get forever, sweetheart" is Eddie's answer.

[dairy-farmer]

If you like, (as I saw you indeed do, from an ask) De-ageing promts/asks? Consider THIS~!

Everyone always hitting our poor baby boy Tim with that De-Ageing! As though his puss ain't tight and assets perky! Rude! You know who SHOULD be hit?

>:Dc Bruce~

Because him and Ra's are once again going at it. Bruce is not blind and DOES NOT appreciate this man panting after his Son. Is he a hypocrite? Maybe. But he's still gonna punch Ra's about kicking his boy out a window and the various bits of leering.

They do the Traditional by now, Dramatic Heroic/Immortal Sword Fight near the pits.

Ra's makes A Comment(tm). Of what he'll do when Bruce is dead. Since Bruce has failed to join him, Talia failed to give him a Worthy Heir, and Tim proven... Interesting(tm).

Can't do SHIT without limbs, Ra's. Bruce sees red and tries to feed the fucker his own entrails. Very calm. Toooootally thinking clearly.

It was, rather predictably, a trap. But Bruce is a talented man. So now they're BOTH stabbed pretty badly. Very homo-erotic, which is also traditional. Because with Ra's of course it is. Regardless, Ra's has NOT survived this long just to die to Daddy "don't fuck my son".

Into the pits we both go!

Which? Honestly, he's been trying for YEARS to get Bruce to use. So he can see reason. Ra's can admit the irony.

They struggle. Are drowning. Healing. Still impaled. Break free of each other, even as they try to grapple each other into submission. Again, the homo-eroticism is thick enough to choke lesser men. All the while? The pits are healing.

The wounds, yes. But also everything ELSE. They ARE submerged after all. Ra's? Expects this. Bruce? No idea what's coming.

He drags Ra's blade free of his body and breaks surface. Pit furious and seeing green. Damn near baby faced, at JUST under 20.

Turns out taking care of your body means there's less to "Fix". Self destructive Missions come back to bite him once again. But? Shit. Ninjas. Pouring in to help a fresh faced Ra's. Late 20s and in his prime once more. Damn it!

This isn't over, he growls.

Does NOT like the amused way Ra's is smirking.

One fight out and a stolen jet later? Bruce gets to stare in horror at his Twink-ification. Half his sons are physically OLDER then him. There is no way in hell he can hide this with make up. Luckily, it's Gotham.

He stages a kidnapping of himself. "Unknown chemical agent" combined with the INFAMOUS Gotham bay water. Clark, pretending to be him (once he's done laughing) goes in, Twink Bruce comes out.

People believe it.

Brucie Wayne is too dumb to make this up, after all. And stranger things have happened. Once cleared by the hospital? He heads home.

Now what.

He LIKED his Dilf status. His "silver fox in the making". He didn't have to "date". Booze it up or party. He was FREE damn it. He sulks. Jason and Dick are laughing at him.

Tim let's him hide in his office. Starts crafting "new lease on life" PR campaigns. They are, unfortunately, going to have to attend a Fad Pilates-Yoga-Samba Fusion Dance class. He's so sorry.

It's awful.

What's WORSE?

Is he forgot how HORNY he was at this age. It Does. NOT. Stop. Just an endless stream of wanting to thrust and fuck and lick and suck and-. It literally keeps him up at night! Even after patrol! And Selina? She won't touch him with a ten foot pole.

He's "an infant".

Call her when he's fixed.

He ALMOST considers some of the girls in his god awful class. But then they open their mouths and say some of the most soulless, casually cruel, things he's ever heard. And THAT reminds him he has standards.

He manages to find NICE ones, but then THEN start talking? And good lord, they are BABIES. Where are their fathers and why have they failed these wonderful young ladies? Have a college fund. Bruce is your father now.

And STILL horny.

Possibly in hell.

He tells this, even though he probably shouldn't, to Tim. Rants really. Because Tim let him hide again. Brought him coffee and dinner. And? Frankly? TIM is reasonable! Bruce wouldn't BE in this situation if he could find even a SINGLE woman like him!

And Tim watches Bruce pace. Muscles rolling as he walks. Still in work out gear. Young, nearly his age, so hot Tim wants to choke himself on his... Well. Tim COULD point out the obvious. Fleshlights. Modern toys that Bruce could no doubt improve.

OR~ Tim could shoot his shot and go for glory.

......fuck it.

Witness Him.

Tim deliberately splays his legs. Sprawls, open and inviting. And muses, not looking at Bruce of course, if Bruce needs a Woman or just the right hole?

Bruce freezes. Because of course not. He's Bi AF, just REALLY want to fuck a... wait. Wait(tm). Bruce's brain starts punching out Options. Why Would Tim Ask That? He looks at Tim. His body language. Considers if he wants to ignore it or take this clear offer.

He's across the room and plucking the tablet from Tim's hands in a handful of strides. Naked. Now.

Young Bruce is the HORNIEST, NEEDIEST fuck you can imagine. Once you let him in? It's all over. You're gonna wake up to that morning wood pounding your puss. Spend breakfast, being his desert. As he eats you out. Humping your leg like a dog in heat. Gotta go to work? Well not before his good by fuckies! Needs to shoot his load nice and deep, so you know he loves you.

Visit you at the office. Finger fuck you at your desk. Worship your clit like he's trying to win a medal. When you finally can't concentrate any more? Pull you from your office chair and fuck you til you're a sloppy mess on the floor. Don't worry! He brought a plug so you won't mess the change of clothes he brought you! See you at lunch~!

And on and on and on. Because Bruce is physically in the horniest phase of his life, has his FULL Batman stamina, and? Realized almost IMMEDIATELY? Tim cuddles when he's well fucked and exhausted. And Bruce misses him.

So Bruce is gonna take advantage of the situation.

Can't drift away from me and go off to join some random hero team, if I'm the Best Dick Of Your Life. If your body craves me. You get so used to my constant fuckings, your day is incomplete without them~

Use my WORDS? Pshhhhh. No. I'm just going to use a seventy step plan to permanently tie Tim to me for life with my dick! Because I love him! This is a reasonable and well adjusted way for me to act, I'm gonna get such a good grade in Dad. Now if you'll excuse Bruce, he's gonna go fuck his son.

-🐼🐼🐼

!!! oh my god bruce getting deaged would be his worst nightmare ever- having to join 'new age' spritual things like something-yoga or eating some trendy new food because it aligns with his 'brucie' character- add that in to him not being able to fuck within any age group. his new '20 year old peers' are so incredibly immature and he can't fathom breaking his morality enough to fuck them and the older ones wont let him near them because THEY feel like creeps. so tim being the only logical choice left and bruce also being able to kill two birds with one stone by being able to 1. get off and 2. make sure tim stays close to him😭😭😭

[overthinkthis]

transmasc feelings about The Sign ep. 6

I might be a little late with this but I finally realised that while most fandom discourse isn't really my thing, what I do love is reading why shows or certain characters or even a single scene make people feel a lot of things (especially when I personally don't relate to it that much). And The Sign has me sooo deep in my trans feelings, I need to share some of that.

Other people have already pointed out how Tharn can be read as a trans man, having been a princess in another life. And he's short (compared to the others). I know, not all trans men are short, but I am, so it's a trait that always helps me identify with a character.

The main thing though and the reason I'm writing this is his struggle for agency. Because in my experience, the first point of attack on trans men is exactly our agency. We're told we're just naive, confused (autistic) little girls, seduced by the patriachy to reject our own femininity. Victims of our own internalised misogony. That we can't be trusted to make our own decisions, that we need to be 'protected' by being denied our bodily autonomy.

And the way people treat Tharn feels so similar to this. Everyone is pushing him, everyone acts like they know better whether he should date Phaya and even when it comes from a good place (like with Yai) or can be seen as harmless banter, it's still a lot. And then we get the scene where Phaya punches Chalothorn and Tharn punches Phaya and I know this scene is controversial, but I love it! I don't want to comment on how well this worked in the context of the show but as an isolated scene I find it deeply cathartic to watch.

Chalothorn says he will do everything to keep Tharn from Phaya. Even if Tharn has to die.

I know it's because I'm biased but this oozes "I'd rather have a dead child/partner than a trans child/partner"-energy to me. And he gets punched for saying that! Obvs don't punch people irl if you can avoid it but seeing Phaya shut him down like that immediately was so satisfying to watch. Seeing the rage on Phaya's face alone, the same rage I feel for everyone trying to push people back into the suicidality of the closet for their own comfort, is just cathartic.

But then! Tharn punches Phaya and that is... bad, isn't it? Honestly, not to me. Phaya isn't just being a little bit pushy here, it is not the same situation as in ep 3 where Phaya also pushes boundaries but we see Tharn happily agree to the sparring match.

No, in this situation Tharn clearly states what he wants and Phaya ignores that and tries to forcefully drag Tharn away. We know that Phaya has his reasons. As an audience we know that trusting Chalothorn is the wrong choice but it is still Tharn's decision to make!

He punches Phaya and in that moment he takes back his agency, he asserts his boundaries and he isn't being punished for that. Phaya doesn't try to guilt-trip him later, he accepts that he was wrong in trying to force Tharn to come with him. This is also the reason why I don't mind Phaya persuing Tharn with such vigor, because this scene shows us that he will back off if Tharn really needs him to, and that he won't hold a grudge for being rejected. (yeah, again, don't punch people irl, but this is a tv series, it should speak to the parts of our brain that respond better to powerful images than logical reasoning)

And another nice thing this episode gives us is the scene with Yai afterwards. He still get in Tharn's business but instead of just acting like he knows what Tharn needs, he asks questions and then offers his own perspective and his support.

Because this is how you help someone in this kind of situation. Not by trying to tell them what to do (come out, stay in the closet, transition, not transition... if we stay with my trans analogy), but by telling them you will be there when things get rough. And that the thing you really want for them is to be happy.