#next year i'll try better
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hypothesis: vampires are magically vulnerable to light originating from the sun
observation: moonlight has no effect on vampires, despite being a reflection of the sun
conclusion: this aversion is not a result of light or its origin, but some property of sunlight only present in direct contact
hypothesis: vampires are extremely sensitive to uv radiation
#the notes are just people pointing out that i'm like the last person to think of this#sorry. i'll try better next time.#vampire#shitpost#dracula daily#are they doing that again this year?#i miss it
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Omg happy birthday to me
#oh fuck#i tried to do those super gay chess figures#but i fucked it up#oof#next year i'll try better
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since christmas is coming soon, i wanted to draw these two again~
#i think im gonna start drawing these two during christmas season each year#bc it'd be fun to see how much my art has changed#btw im very sorry about the lack of art. i wasnt feeling well and in general ive been feeling very unmotivated#and also busy cuz. christmas#i promise next year i'll try to be more active#this year has been really tough for me but at least my art got better. i think.#optimus prime#megatron#megop#humanformers#transformers animated#tfa#my art#fanart
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*draws youtubers but doesn't know how to record herself*
just some work in progress :3 🔮
#work in progress#go girl show us nothing 😭#i'll try to do it better next time :3#i might post some pictures of the process too uhmm#nobody asked but i'm proud of my progress this year 💥#it has been a long time
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FE Secret Santa (10/10)
Robin(male) for @silversongmsp
My final submission of the year for the @feshippingpolls secret santa event
#fanart#myart#fire emblem#okay checking some things off tag wise just in case#tw gore#tw body horror#tw horror#tw mutilation#tw eye imagery#let me know if theres any i missed and i'll try to add them <:>#or in other words#ask to tag#fe robin#ah the final secret santa i have to make for this year#honestly was expecting the whole thing to go longer for me#not that im complaining it gives me time to finish up my assignments#(although i do find it a lil funni that im prob the reason next time is gonna have a limit of five submissions per person)#i think this one im gonna ramble a bit more then the other ones#because awakening was my first fire emblem game and i have a lot of feelings about it#hell got a lot of feelings about robin as a character too#like dude is really fitting for the story of awakening#destined to destroy the world and be the death of all he loves#really one put in the situation and having knowledge of what you're supposed to be-#-how are you supposed to live if you know it won't last?#is it better to become numb to it all so you won't be heartbroken?#or let yourself have a bleeding heart knowing there isn't anything you can do about it?#defying destiny has always been a trope i love especially in the context of un-dooming the narrative#yes the future was saved but so was somebody destined to destroy it#i just think that's really cool#and whether you view the relationship between Chrom and Robin as romantic or platonic or any other option
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first back to school season since 2006 where i'm not actually going back to school 🥳🥳🥳 good luck to the rest of y'all losers! could not be me!
#unfortunately it's because im postponing grad school a year to take care of my health 😃👍 absolutely going through hell rn besties#been so sick lately and it's been one of the worst loneliest most terrifying experiences of my life i dont even know what to say abt it#feels like there isnt even a way to put it into words#but im very glad this is an option for me and that i just get to chill out and maybe hopefully i'll feel better in a few months#would really like to travel next calendar year if it's possible i will try to make this a good year regardless#personal
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#the two unavoidable obstacles i run into & often lose against every time i try to start drawing again are#first; past the initial success at doodling some stuff again : realizing i'm not that good at this actually#like compared to what it feels i could/ should be doing if i'd known how to keep practicing regularly for the last few years#if i knew how to learn if i knew what i was doing#that's fine that's ok i can make it better i just need to quit giving up too early#second the lack of inspiration actually#i run out of ideas fast because im out of practice with that too & i have nothing to say#i don't know ! i gotta learn everything again is kinda what it feels like most of the time & i'm terrible at it#i'll try i'll try#shevr#i'll quit ranting at lengths in the next posts this one's just a thursday treat ( for me )#my lines
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forgot to post some dokomi pics! vashusitter wolfwood real....
I was in a RUSH because I arrived later than planned (thanks train delays (and getting lost in the park....)) so after the panel (where I managed to be in the front row!!) I only had 6 hours to run around and do my shopping before going home. not my best decision but now I'm prepared for next time.
thank you @blizzly (whom I must also thank again for emergency loaf creechur surgery and taking some of these pics :D), @lesoldatmort, @artofalassa and @ohohge (get ready for our reverse bang collab....) and her friend for hanging out with me for a little bit 💜 also met @luchichufer who just happened to sit right behind me and gifted me some prints including our vashwood big bang art! 🥹
the true honor was meeting the real brushbuddy....totally not considered running off with it.......
it was so lovely meeting up with everyone, however briefly in some cases <3 next time i'm staying longer and hopefully making better conversation!!
haul and....cookies.....and post-realizing johnny bravo was photobombing us picture below :D
#trigun cosplay#dokomi#until the small prague con last year I spent the past 5 years going to cons alone so 🥹🥹#tfw despite getting top surgery you still have boobie cleavage and wolfwood makes you feel better about it because so does he#i need to update my pants to actual dress pants#i also. really need to be better at asking people for pictures 😭#i'm just always like naaahhhh it's fiiiiine and then i. regret it.#cf me not taking a picture with the tristamp team#why did I even buy a phone with a good camera if i forget or chicken out of taking pictures with it smh#ANYWAY next time i'll probably cosplay as atuarto from witch hat atelier.....!!#i'm. gonna commission a cosplay. but the person on etsy has been ghosting me :(#so I don't know if I should invest in a sewing machine and try to make it myself? <- has never sewn anything or made a pattern in their lif#but i Need to cosplay him like. I AM the guy. HE IS ME. IT'S CRAZY. you know how nowfall is real woowoo? well i'm real atuarto no joke#also i'm too socially anxious to be good at cosplaying (in terms of. pics and roleplay etc) but I could pull him off i think sdfjnk#beelio talks
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kind of a slow year for art—didn't find any new interests to obsess over 🤷 but i did participate in artfight for the first time, i really worked on my anatomy and colouring process, AND i hit a lot of real life milestones (graduation! hormones! living alone!), so I can't complain too much. happy birthday to me and here's to a new year 🥳
#also i did in fact achieve my new years resolution of talking on my blog more HOORAY#for the year ahead im joining 2 zines and im gonna take weekly life drawing classes to keep working on my anatomy#so hopefully i'll see a lot more progress and have some pieces i can be really proud of next year#now that im done with school i also want to work on my career growth. building a new social network.#being less humiliated by everything and learning to act normal. going to museums and clubs more often. reading more books.#um. replying to messages more frequently!!!! and trying to be a better person as always.#amen.#beepbeep.txt
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#hhhhh I'll probably delete this later but if i don't physically put these thoughts somewhere I'll maybe explode.#but fuck man. shit sucks fr! I highkey think I can't go to work tomorrow but yknow how it goes!!!!#I'm caught somewhere between finally being taken seriously about my health issues#and having the most wretched mental health crisis#like on one hand fantastic! I'm being taken seriously now its gotten to the point where I cant fucking walk normally#but on the other hand oh my god holy shit. i had to get this bad???? and I'm worried. i know theres shit so much bigger than me rn going on#but I'm worried about my health. especially when I've been trying to deal with it for the better part of like.... 5 years#since i was 19!!!!#I'm 24 and worrying about whether or not I'll actually walk about with 0 pain ever again isn't that fucked.#so that's bittersweet. ive got physio tomorrow. blood tests next week#an ultrasound coming up#its ultimately a good thing im being taken seriously. if not a terrifying acceptance that everything ive been feeling has been real and#well. bad.#and like with this right is the crash of my mental health. just a fuckin nosedive man.#i have a relatively stressful job i felt out of my depth about and thus guilty for but now its a role that I've approached in constant pain#for the last few months.#i can't deal with that actually! lots of stress! lots of pain! lots of mental pain over my physical condition! my job grinding my soul!#aaaaa!!!!!!!#like i dont WANT to be unemployed either#I'd much rather be uhhhh employed! and able to save money towards actually getting Help™#but I've got to admit that i hurt too much. and its consuming my whole fucking brain.#but I'll go on#ive got my first trip out the country solo next week!! im heading to san Fransisco!!! im excited.#but I'm worried for the inevitable moment where my pains catch up with me#ill surpress it while I'm out there. try and remind myself to have a good time. return to the uk and feel a weeks worth of pain#and even THAT sucks to consider#but i should stop#rambles
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trying to pull through for the last 2 days of bachelor writing... which.... have not gone well. And from my last 2 weeks of active working attempts... I do lowkey think I've run out of energy...
#I lowkey feel such rage about it#typically ends up directed at myself#I hate how people will only ever see the results and not my struggle nor my intent.#it'll just have to be shitty#like it's.... soooo shitty#and it's the only subject I've had all semester?? Like you'd THINK I could do better??#but no I'm generally burnt out and I've spent all on my energy to try figure out the logistics of my own living... cause the#personal economy was about to go to hell and so was having a place to live. cause HELL if I'm going back to my parents'.#but yea#didn't mean for this to be an update really. but! started up driving again! hopefully I'll get a lisence maybe next year or something!#that would be nice#my rambles
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Caught yesterday's Dracula Daily and was reminded again of that particularly striking scene...
Kneeling on the near edge of the bed facing outwards was the white-clad figure of his wife. By her side stood a tall, thin man, clad in black. His face was turned from us, but the instant we saw we all recognised the Count—in every way, even to the scar on his forehead. With his left hand he held both Mrs. Harker's hands, keeping them away with her arms at full tension; his right hand gripped her by the back of the neck, forcing her face down on his bosom. Her white nightdress was smeared with blood, and a thin stream trickled down the man's bare breast which was shown by his torn-open dress. The attitude of the two had a terrible resemblance to a child forcing a kitten's nose into a saucer of milk to compel it to drink. As we burst into the room, the Count turned his face, and the hellish look that I had heard described seemed to leap into it. His eyes flamed red with devilish passion; the great nostrils of the white aquiline nose opened wide and quivered at the edge; and the white sharp teeth, behind the full lips of the blood-dripping mouth, champed together like those of a wild beast.
I think it's the line 'a terrible resemblance to a child forcing a kitten's nose into a saucer of milk to compel it to drink' that I especially enjoy. Was inspired enough to try and stretch long-neglected digital sketching muscles, but of course chose to model it with my favorite rendition of the Count...
#never mind that he's not book accurate- I don't care#dracula 2020#my art#nothing cringier than posting one's own fan art....#but if I wanna' get better I need to keep sketching and I no longer enjoy drawing in a vacuum (subject & audience wise)#maybe next year I'll try to stage this one better- should be in profile I think to show resistance/gap between them...#I actually really enjoy renditions of Mina that have her darker skinned but went super white here due to tight color palette#backgrounds... ? I don't know her
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have no fear, I came back with a positive post to make up for yesterday's complaining!
#my mentor gave me a super good review for something new we're working on#(like said i did better than anyone else in this role ever did on their first try which is good enough for me!)#also was dicking around on my laptop today and found out i have a bunch of free dropbox space for the next year#which is cool because i'll never PAY for dropbox but i can always use another 100gb#(ignore how stressed i'm gonna be when it expires and i have to relocate all those files bc it'll be cool up to that point)#i'm also trying to come up with ideas to display all this merch collection i'm building up so if anyone has any ideas!#i am listening#i ordered a bunch of zines and pins and charms and i wanna display them without accidentally damaging them#i'm thinking some kind of weird shrine in the living room#so everyone who visits my house has to check out the klance obsession#i just think that'll be funny#also i wfh in my living room so i'd get to see it all the time there#OH okay and finally#i got so much writing done this month#like i did fail a bunch of my fandom goals for the month but it's still an impressive amount of words added to my WIPs#and that's a win i'm gonna celebrate#if i can keep this up i'll have a huge chapter fic finished this year and ready to post in early 2025#and and and i got ANOTHER raise so#might even be able to splurge on some nice art for some of the chapters
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I just spent like 20 minutes thinking about soup
#i need to move out!!!!#i love my parents to be clear they're great#i just want to be in charge of my own meals again#it's not that they're bad at feeding me stuff i want to eat it's just we like different things#when it's just me i can make my soup however i want and no one's gonna say anything#Because It's My Soup#i can eat japanese chicken curry for a week straight! no one cares!#i just need to get better at eating vegetables#i want my own kitchen soooo baaad.....#my mom's sensitive to garlic. do you know how much recipes fuck if you add garlic? severely. and i can't if she's gonna eat it#i need my own kitchen so bad so so bad pleeaase#really hoping that i get my degree within like two months#and then i have to. urgh. find a job. but then i find a job and i go there#and i get Paid! money!#and once i have some money in the bank and a long term job i can try and get a flat#and once i have a flat i have my own kitchen i can order stuff online if i want and i can adopt a cat#i can have friends over i can decorate#and if i can swing it i'll be a civil servant#and if i'm lucky enough i can perhaps. give up the next 30 years of my life to a bank so i can own my own flat#god i hope. i fucking hope. i really really want to own#like not for landlord bullshit. just so i don't have to worry about where to go in a year two years five years#i want a civil servant job because that's for life and i would love to do the same thing forever#and i want to own a flat because i could make the space fit my needs and wants perfectly#and i wouldn't have to worry about where to live or old age or whatever#good luck to me finding a well situated 2 bedroom flat in one of the if not the worst city of france in terms of housing :)#but hey i've been lucky in life. maybe it'll keep going#i know what i want early! that's good#i shouldn't have a realisation that i want kids at 30yo or whatever. I Shall Not Become My Mom#ANYWAY i need my own kitchen!!!!!#wow i have a ramble tag now
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Got started on the asks :> Very excited to get the drawing portion started!
#pan rambles#*Get it started once I'm home#I just did the little writing portion#Decided to do a little twist on what I did last year hehe!#Anyways#That aside! my head has been hurting all day...Snow kissing my forehead better certainly helps a bit!#Also I'm trying to decide what to watch next#I've Finished C.owboy B.ebop#I finished H.i-F.i R.ush#Maybe I should watch another anime? idk which one though...#If anyone has any Anime Recs- Send them my way!#If not I'll probably rewatch Monster for the millionth time /hj
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got nothing to do for halloween AND i have to work. is it appropriate to end it all in this situation.
#i don't go to haunted houses and shit alone it's not as fun and my friends are all gonna be busy#kmsss#this is ass at least by next year i can actually date ig maybe I'll have a partner by then idk#honestly I'll probably have a different job that hopefully doesn't try to make me actively suicidal all the time.#or at least doesn't try so fucking hard#life will be better. I'll just keep saying it til it's true#life will be better
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