#next one up is henrik here we gooo

[lonelier-version-of-you]

John Gaskell

Why I like them: Oh, John. One of many, many Holby characters from the last few years with massively wasted potential. His early episodes showed so much promise, and it helped that he was played by the incredible Paul McGann. He was, essentially, a darker version of Henrik, and on that level, he really worked (again, particularly at the start of the storyline, but we saw glimpses of it start coming back towards the end too).

The scene that defined John Gaskell as a character, to me, is in Report To The Mirror, when the staff break into his lab only to find he's abandoned it, having left Lana (the coma patient he was trying to help because she was the daughter of a woman who'd helped him when he was trafficked) cut open on the table.

His early episodes seemed to imply he genuinely wanted to do good for people - especially for Lana, but not only (we know he only found out about Lana and tried to help her after his seeming success with Laszlo) - but was very, very ruthless and unethical in how he was going about it, and I always found that bizarre relationship with morality incredibly fascinating (I just wish it had been explored more).

Why I don't: On a character level: I mean, he. He murdered people. That's kind of a big deal. 😂

On a writing level, I despise how he was just written as a caricature of "those scary crazy people". Like 90% of the "ooh isn't John being creepy and evil" scenes were just him being visibly severely mentally ill, only about 10% was actually him doing bad things.

Favourite episode: Anything written by Andy Bayliss with him in it, because Bayliss was like the only writer who actually seemed to care about John as a character and want to flesh him out into a more complicated character rather than just an ableist stereotype. So basically, One Man And His God or Report To The Mirror would probably be my favourite John episodes.

I have complicated feelings about Stains - Patrick Homes was really leaning into the "scary crazy person" stuff with that one, but it does give some really interesting insight into John's character, I think. And Paul McGann's performance was brilliant. So I'd probably have to count that too.

Favourite season: Series 19, even though he was only in it for 4 episodes. Just because the morally ambiguous John of his early eps was so much more interesting than the bad-horror-movie-villain version we got later on.

Favourite line: I mean, "I won't let you go" is iconic, so there's that.

I also like his speech about good and evil to Nicky in We Need To Talk About Fredrik, because it shows how much more interesting the version of John who had a really bizarre sense of morality was than the version of John who just did evil stuff to be evil. I can’t be bothered to go and watch the scene again to type the exact quote out though.

Favourite outfit: I liked the outfit he wore in Stains. Dark blue suit, lighter blue shirt, red tie. His outfit in No Matter Where You Go There You Are part 2 wasn't too shabby either.

OTP: Johnrik, obviously. I really can't see him with anyone other than Henrik, except maybe with Henrik + the rest of the Cryptid Squad in a polyam situation.

BroTP: Him and David! They really seemed to be quite close from what we saw of them in Group Animal part 1, and part of why I wish we'd seen more of David is so we could've seen more of his friendship with John.

Headcanon: I keep forgetting this one is even a headcanon, but: John struggled with psychotic symptoms for much of his life, not just when we start seeing him show them in canon (which is only in his last few episodes).

Also, he listens to My Chemical Romance.

Unpopular opinion: It will never not disturb me how the fandom seemed to hate John for being mentally ill more than they hated him for being a fucking murderer. Like, seriously. Why the hell is it that whenever the fandom wanted to insult him, they always went to talking about how "crazy" and "insane" he was? He literally killed people and you still can't think of a better insult?

A wish: I just wish he'd been written better. Mostly, he just ended up being Fredrik if Fredrik was a caricature of mentally ill people. Also, I wish he'd (or at least his hallucination version) gotten to kiss Henrik in Report To The Mirror.

An oh-god-please-don't-ever-happen: I really hope the show doesn't end without him ever being mentioned again. ESPECIALLY if Henrik and Russ are indeed going to end up together, they had better give John some acknowledgement as Henrik's first male love interest and the character responsible for making Henrik bi onscreen in the first place. If John hadn't existed Henrik/Russ would almost certainly never have happened, least they can do is mention him again and explicitly, irrefutably acknowledge that Henrik was in love with him.

5 words to best describe them: Once again, he wasn't developed enough as a character for me to have any words to describe him... :/

My nickname for them: I don't really have one, although I feel like I should.

[softbutchenergy]

kelly’s actual extended wishlist (≖ᴗ≖✿)

if any of these sound appealing to u, either like this post or slide in my messages and we can plot something out!! i rp on discord and on tumblr, and am down for about anything so -- here we gooo!

faces i want to play

nat wolff

alex wolff

camila cabello

normani kordei

hailee steinfeld

amandla stenberg 

laura harrier

eileen kelly

lily rose depp

alisha boe

shawn mendes

timothee chalamet

lily collins

kiersey clemmons

any skam fcs !!!

plots & ships i’m dying for are under the cut !!!

ships i need

camila cabello x any female fc

amandla x nick robinson

lily rose depp x timothee chalamet

eileen kelly x nick robinson

amandla x any female fc

camila x normani

camila x lauren

shawn mendes x camila cabello

shawn mendes x alisha boe

king princess x amandla 

nat wolff x anyone

alex wolff x anyone lol

josefine frida pettersen x lisa teige

henrik holm x tarjei sandvik moe

taissa farmiga x evan peters

naomi scott x bridgit mendler

madelaine petsch x camila mendes

plots ( a lot of the og posts for these are from deactivated blogs so imma just copy and paste some !! )

anything angsty that will hurt the both of us

road trips !!!

something based off i don’t smoke and i bet on losing dogs by mitski

a star is born kinda plot (but also based off chesapeke by better oblivion community center)

anything based off stuck in love

anything based off of any ship in skam, parks and rec, how i met your mother, new girl, or girls :’)

single mother/father plots <3

this small town girl who lives in a small ass town by the sea and who has basically never set foot outside the town but who loves it there bc she loves the sea more than anything else and she honestly doesn’t know a lot about the outside world but she really doesn’t seem to care and then comes in the big city boy who has spent his entire life downtown and who absolutely hates nature and who spends most of his time listening to underground music and thinking that he’s cool bc he reads obscure books but then his parents catch him partying too much and doing drugs a couple of times so they ship him off to his “crazy” aunt’s house which happens to be in the small town that the girl lives in. and at first he kind of tries himself with the girl bc he’s bored and he plans on getting out of that hole as soon as possible but  she rejects him and that’s the first time that it happens to him and he gets rlly insulted so the two of them start bickering and arguing and fighting all the time and maybe at one point that turns into some kind of romance/friendship in which the girl shows the boy to appreciate the sea and the boy shows the girl a bit of the outside world 

I NEED A PLOT WHERE MUSE A AND MUSE B HAD BEEN DATING FOR LIKE 3 YEARS AND IT WAS REALLY HELLA SERIOUS BUT ONE DAY MUSE A JUST UP AND LEAVES BECAUSE SHE GETS SCARED OF THE COMMITMENT AND ALL OF THAT AND THEN LIKE THREE MONTHS AFTER SHE BROKE UP WITH HIM IT’S POURING DOWN RAIN AND SHE SHOWS UP AT HIS DOOR STEP COMPLETELY SOAKED TO THE BONE AND SHIVERING AND SHE’S PROBABLY GOING TO GET A COLD AND SHE’S ALL “I DIDN’T KNOW WHERE ELSE TO GO” IDK ??? LIKE THIS IF YOU WANNA DO IT 

please an arranged marriage between two socilaite families/ big names in their city. but like she’s still stuck in the party stage and fucking up because she’s upset with her parents or unhappy with her life and he’s dealing with a lot of pressure and stress from his family to take over the family bussiness and it’s just two polar opposites but it could be super cute sometimes when she gets super drunk and he picks her up and hold her hair back when he throws up and stays up to give her a glass of water and make sure she sleeps well even though he has a huge meeting in the morning that he should be resting for. but also the angST and the fights and the ‘i didnt ask for this’ and making each other jealous and sexual tension

gimme a plot where … basically, muse ais this corrupted soul, always drinking too much, getting too high, they can barely function and muse b is basically their saving grace, always coming through in the middle of the night after a drunken phone call asking for a ride home. and muse b only does this because they’re agood person at heart, but they can’t deny that muse a’s actions actually disgusts them. but they’ve known each other for too long and muse b always promised they’d never let muse a down, because they know they’re the only thing that’s STABLE in their life. and this has become their routine, muse a texting/calling muse b when something goes wrong and muse b coming around to rescue them. there’s not much to their friendship beside that, these days, because muse a doesn’t really acknowledge them otherwise. andmuse b just settles with the fact that they’re being used, but they can’t bear to leave muse a alone, knowing that they probably wouldn’t survive without them … but then ONE NIGHT, when muse b is carrying muse a into bed, tucking them in like they usually do and they’re about ready to say goodnight until muse a, who is completely out of their mind intoxicated, mumbles somethingbarely audible that sounds a lot like ‘i love you.’ muse b thinks to brush it off, until muse a continues professing all these FEELINGS like ‘i really fucking love you, please, don’t leave me tonight’ and muse b is just STUCK. because muse a is so bad for them but muse b is the only good thing in their life … so they stay. 

i need a college plot. i need muse a, a shy but openly gay painter in his first year. i need muse b, a soccer star who is “definitely straight” in his third year. i need muse a to ask muse b out on a date and muse b accepts because he’s dared to by his team. its awkward and its tense because muse a is fumbling over his words and saying the wrong things. i need muse b to walk him back to his apartment and muse a kisses him and its hot and rough, completely unexpected and they have sex and its very awkward because muse b is dominant but has no idea what to do. and i need muse b to use muse a for sex because he definitely is 100% straight but muse a is a good fuck. i need muse b to start falling for muse a. i need muse b to get scared and defensive, now playing part in the bullying that the soccer team has been doing against muse a. i need muse b to just honestly be a really shitty person but muse a to love him through all of that.

okay but… give me an f/f plot where muse a is a hopeless romantic with a long term boyfriend and her best friend since childhood, muse b, is a closeted lesbian who has had a thing for muse a for as long as she can remember however, as of recently a has been pretty negligent towards b and hanging out with her boyfriend instead. so, to repay b – muse a plans out a road trip, full of cheesy pit stops, road side attractions and sketchy motels, spanning over the entire summer. being in the car with each other for that long with each other means petty little arguments about how much time a has been spending with her boyfriend and/or weird sexual tension. ++ late nights at shifty bars and motel rooms getting wine drunk = make out sessions the two pretend to forget by the next morning. lots of angst from muse a’s side since she has a boyfriend she’s been with for years and angst from muse b’s side because she has to listen to the girl she’s had feelings for forever talk about her boyfriend the entire trip…. YES!!!