#next nas x and billie damn wish i was there

[coldweatherhater]

watching kali uchis concert in lollapalooza this woman just not exist

[strangerthings-nstuff]

Distance - Part Three

Steve Harrington x Henderson Reader

Summary - Returning from college for winter break, Y/N is faced with the stinging pain left from her break-up with Steve Harrington.

Word Count - 2,478

Warnings - mild swearing, angst (duh), flashback (duh), Billy being an ass (duh), and I think that’s all folks.

A/N - This is my second attempt at posting this, I tried about an 40 minutes ago and then Tumblr crashed and deleted my post, getting rid of all my edits, BUT HERE IT IS! I know you guys like it so far, so I really hope your enjoying the way I’m continuing the story. Also, tag list is being moved to the bottoms since it’s grown like 20 times larger (thank you so much.) Please let me know what you think in my ask box! Makes me super happy annnnnddd motivates me to write! On that note, READ AWAY!

Part One  Part Two 

“Just ignore him and drive away, Steve…” You begged, praying you wouldn’t have to witness a fight tonight. Your stomach twisted at the thought of Steve unconscious on the ground. He turned to face you, eyes full of anger.

“What, Y/N, and let him win?” he started. “Let him know he can just do whatever the hell he wants, and no one will stop him?” He stared at you, waiting for an answer. You didn’t have one, you knew Steve was right. Max stopped Billy once last November, after he beat the shit out of Steve, and he laid low for a few months. After that, he was back to his old, shitty self.

“I know, you’re right, okay? But-”

Tap, tap, tap.

Billy Hargrove had a wicked smile plastered on his face, peering in from the driver’s side window. He stepped back, crossing his arms against his chest, waiting for Steve to make a move. Steve looked at your pleading eyes one more time before swiftly getting out of the car. You hopped out right after him, planning to interject if things start to get physical. “What are you doing at my house, Harrington?” he said in an amused tone, almost mocking Steve.

Steve broadened his shoulders slightly, taking another step forward. “Taking care of your sister that you left on the side of the Goddamn road, Hargrove.” He replied, his voice filled with disgust.

“She deserved it.” He spit back, “Thought she could hit me and have no consequence.” You clenched your hands at his words, angered by his pure lack of kindness.

“From what I understand, you deserved it. I would say being a racist ass deserves a good slap in the face sometimes.” Billy scoffed, spitting on the ground.

“Mind your own damn business, Harrington.” He said, pushing his fingers against Steve’s chest. You took a few quick steps forward, so you were right behind Steve. Moving to the side a bit, you reached your hand to Steve’s shoulder, tugging gently on it before he could reply to Billy.

“Come on, Steve, let’s just go.” you pleaded. Steve looked at you momentarily, considering your words, until Billy started speaking again. He was staring right at you, a smile appearing on his tanned face again.

“Back with Harrington so soon, Y/N?” your gut twisted at his words, mostly because they couldn’t be further than the truth. “Got tired of screwing all the city boys?” Steve stiffened at his comment, the thought of you being with other people making his heart feel heavy, more than it already was just being around you, knowing you weren’t his anymore. He had figured you would move on eventually, but he hadn’t fully thought it through. 

Billy’s next words didn’t make Steve sad, no. They pissed him off.

“Too bad, you know.” He took a few steps closer, just a foot in front of the two of you, completely ignoring Steve. “If you hadn’t ran back to Pretty Boy over here, I could’ve shown you a good time.” You shivered as he ran his hand down your arm. “Still can, Sugar.”

You pushed his arm off of you, “You’re disgusting, Billy,” was all you managed to say before Steve’s anger got the best of him. He harshly shoved Billy, causing the unsuspecting boy to stumble backwards before balancing himself.

“Get the hell away from her, you piece of shit.” Steve’s voice was raspy and broken, he was flustered. Billy laughed bitterly, glaring at Steve’s quickly reddening face.

“What is it, Harrington?” He said stepping up face-to-face. “Worried that you can’t satisfy her like I would?” His voice was confident, too confident. “Upset because you know that I can make her scream my na-” You flinched as Steve punched Billy square in the jaw. Billy reacted quickly throwing a punch back at Steve, missing him at first from blurred vision and Steve ducking, but landing the second one right on Steve’s left eye. Your heart speed up, you couldn’t watch Steve be beat unconscious like last year. The thought of Steve’s broken face was enough to send adrenaline through your veins, and without thinking you flung yourself in between the twos boys.

“Stop!” you shouted, voice frantic and pleading. A look of worry flashed across Steve’s now bloody face, and he instinctively pulled you into him, attempting you block you from any hits Billy was going to throw. You looked back at the curly haired menace to see him ready to shove Steve again. You pushed your hand against Steve’s chest, pulling yourself from him grasp, reaching the other hand out towards Billy. “I said stop!” You shouted again, gaining both of the boys attention. “Not here, not now.” you deadpanned.

Billy groaned loudly, “Get out of my way, Princess,” the words glided out of his mouth in a dark tone, not at all intending the word princess as one of endearment.

“No, Billy.” You were nervous, god were you nervous, but you held your ground. “You’re parents are home, yeah?” you said, causing his face to drop. “I’ve seen your dad drive that car around. So, why don’t you leave us the hell alone, and I won’t run up and knock on the door explaining why Max was home so late tonight, alright?” Billy froze in what you thought might have been fear and quickly snapped out of it, spitting again, although this time it was red with blood. “This isn’t over, Harrington.” He said firmly before walking up his driveway, sliding in his car, and slamming the door. You felt a weight lift off your shoulders knowing that Steve was safe, for now, and that Max didn’t have to deal with Billy tonight.

You and Steve returned to his car, driving away in silence. You were playing with the hem of your sweater as the street lights flashed past your window, thinking of something, anything, to say to him. So much was running through your brain, so many emotions weighing down your heart, but you couldn’t form any words. You thought about turning the radio on, but before you could Steve broke the silence. “I could’ve handled it, Y/N.” You looked over at him, waiting for him to continue. “You shouldn’t have thrown yourself in the middle of us like that, you could’ve gotten hurt.” He brought his brown eyes to yours for a second before averting them back to the road, but not quick enough for you not to notice his eye, which was getting darker and darker by the minute. 

Your heart speed up, but not out of sadness, out of anger.

“No, Steve. You did get hurt.” You raised your voice at him. “What if Billy had left you out cold on the ground, or worse?” Steve rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to speak, but you continued before he got a word in. “He doesn’t have limits, Steve! Don’t you get that?” You took a deep breath. “God, you can be so stupid sometimes!”

He scoffed, not believing what he was hearing. “You’re calling me stupid? You’re the one who threw yourself in front of a full on, seething Billy!” He tried to look at you as much as he could without swerving of the road. “Like you said, Y/N. He doesn’t have limits.”

“I did what I had to, and it worked!” Steve’s car slowed as you approached your house, pulling in the drive-way. He slammed the car in park, turning to face you as your body jolted forward and back from his sudden stop. “It worked this time, but now you’ve gotten on his nerves, and you’re a target too!” His eyes were wide, chest moving up and down faster than usual from yelling.

“I panicked!” You argued back. “I’m sorry that I care about you, Steve!” The words slipped out of your mouth before you could stop them. Steve’s face went soft as your eyes got glossy from nerves, and the weight of what you had just said. It was obvious to both of you, from the moment you opened the door and he was standing there earlier that night, that there were still lingering feelings. Whether they be ones of anger from you for Steve breaking up with you, regret from him for the same exact thing, or just a pure longing to fix the awkward brokenness that stood between you two, it was something.

“When he hit you, I-I didn’t know what to do…” You shook your head, worried you would sound stupid.

“Y/N…” He whispered, voice cracking a bit. You wrapped your coat tightly around yourself, getting ready to walk out of the car.

“Never mind, it’s stupid.” You spoke lowly. You got out of the car, mumbled a goodnight to Steve, and slammed the door shut. A tear rolled down your cheek as you ran up your driveway, finally letting yourself cry after a whole night of holding it in. You were about to open the front door and flee to your room before Steve grabbed you by the arm, turning you to face him, your teary eyes meeting his.  

You laughed at Steve’s stupid joke as you walked up your driveway, hands intertwined with his. He stopped in front of your door, and your heart sped up, knowing what usually happens at this point in a date. “So, aren’t you glad you finally agreed to go out with me?” He said giving you a charming smile. You wished you had said yes sooner, in all honesty, but you had to make sure he was done healing from his break up with Nancy. When he had asked you a few days ago, for the fifth time in the span of a month, you had finally said yes.

“Yes,” you smiled, “I actually am. Although, let’s hope Dustin doesn’t interrogate you for an hour before our second date,” you said swaying your intertwined hands, laughing gently. Steve’s smile grew wider.

“There’s gonna be a second date?” He said in an amused tone.  You felt your cheeks flush, and you dropped your gaze to the ground, hoping he wouldn’t notice. You mentally cursed yourself. It was just Steve, why were you so nervous?

“I hope so, Harrington.” You said, hoping to hide your nerves. He squeezed your hand, pulling you a bit closer.

“I’m sure we can arrange that.” He whispered as you looked up at him, gaze flickering down to his lips, and back up to his face. Just do it, Y/N. You want to kiss Steve, so kiss Steve. 

Despite your self convincing, you chickened out.

“Goodnight, Steve.” You said leaning up to kiss his cheek. You smiled at him once again before turning around to open the door, only, you didn’t reach it. In the blink of an eye, Steve pulled you back to him and pressed his lips to yours. You were shocked, but it was only a few seconds before you were kissing back, arms wrapped around his neck. His lips were soft as he kissed you slowly, the cold January air felt like nothing compared to his warmth. He pulled away after a few seconds, both of you breathless.

“Goodnight, Henderson.”

It was different than the last time he had unexpectedly pulled you towards him on your porch, so different, but it didn’t stop your stomach from twisting in a nervous knot. “Y/N, I’m sorry.” He began, “I shouldn’t have put you in that situation, really, but… God,” he winced as he remembered Billy’s words as if they were ripping through his chest like the first time.

“Got tired of screwing all the city boys?”

“If you hadn’t ran back to pretty boy over here, I could’ve shown you a good time.”

“I couldn’t let him get away with what he was saying to you…” He ran his hands through his hair habitually, “And what he did to Max? It’s just not okay… it’s not right.” He gently wiped your tears before continuing, his touch just causing more to fall down, “I shouldn’t have yelled at you in the car, but I care about you too… and when you put yourself right in front of Billy’s rage, you scared the shit out of me,” He admitted. “If Billy had put his hands on you, Jesus... I would’ve lost it.” You shook your head and looked down, wiping the tears off your face. Steve wrapped his arms around you, and you broke. You sobbed quietly, cursing yourself in your head for being so emotional. “Hey, hey… it’s alright.” He whispered, running his hands gently through your hair.

“No, it’s not.” You mumbled against his chest, trying to control your sobs. “I-It’s not okay, and you know it.” You hiccuped, and he moved his hand down to your back trying to soothe you. “It’s weird, it’s awkward… God, why is it so awkward between us?” You questioned, pulling back slightly to look at him. He sighed, shaking his head.

“You know,” he started, “I think it’s because you still have my maroon sweater.” He said with a straight face.

“What?” You questioned, confused.

“My maroon sweater, Y/N. You never gave it back. You know… I think it’s causing a real divide between us.” You tried not to laugh but you couldn’t help it, making Steve’s heart skip a beat. He missed that laugh. You shook your head, trying to be be serious.

“I’m not kidding, Steve.”

“I know, I know,” he looked down at the ground, thinking to himself before speaking again, “It’s gonna be weird at first, really weird, I mean we’ve seen each other naked, Y/N.”

“Steve.” You warned.

“Sorry, I’m kinda, like, nervous? I don’t really know what to say... “ His voice was sincere, and you could tell he was struggling just as much as you were.

“Me neither.” You admitted. He looked up at you, thinking to himself. He couldn’t date you, he told himself he wouldn’t let you be burdened by him in college. He told himself he needed to stick to his promise to himself, to do what’s right by you, to be selfless. So what the hell was he supposed to do? He couldn’t just pretend like you didn’t exist, like you weren’t the most important part of his life just four months ago.

“How about this,” he suggested, “I know it’s gonna be hard, but we can’t just avoid each other, Dustin invites me over like, everyday.” You listened, curious as to where he was going with this. “We care about each other, and we did before we started dating too… so why don’t we just try being friends again?” You knew he was right, you couldn’t avoid him,  and you didn’t want him out of your life either. You sighed, nodding your head.

“Friends?” He asked.

“Friends.”

 Tag List - @hufflepeople @everything-intertwined @madhatterweasley @gingerfangirlthefeels @falsettnoland @madelimess @kingkenzieo @moonlightbae14 @dibsonriggs @lightwoods-look-better-in-black @michaels-hands @tiarrasmith @ambeazyyy @allfandomxreader @dreamlandcigarettes @bitcheekittee @deanstolethetardis @nativesebby @spacemarkimoo @istanuriss

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 21/11/2020 (Billie Eilish)

I’ve got an easy week ahead of me since nothing happened this week. Okay, that’s a lie because there are some big stories here but we only have six new arrivals, meaning that this might be a shorter episode and honestly I’m glad. We’ve had immensely busy weeks since I started this show, full of album bombs from 21 Savage, Ariana Grande and Headie One, bizarre new entries from years ago like “Train Wreck” or “All Girls are the Same”, interesting and intriguing new arrivals ranging from Clairo to Giggs and most importantly, a lot of comical mediocre garbage from D-Block Europe. This week, however, I’ve got half of my usual bargain bin of pop music and whilst some of these songs are notable and worth talking about... well, you’ll see. “positions” by Ariana Grande is spending a fourth week at #1. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

Firstly, let’s run through the drop-outs, most of which are inconsequential considering this is a slow breather week between two massive ones – BTS are coming next, folks, and bringing Megan Thee Stallion with them. I think our most notable losses is how absolutely everything from Kylie Minogue, the Kid LAROI and even dutchavelli is completely gone here, including “Cool with Me” with M1llionz, the actual single from the record. I guess we can say goodbye to the top 10 hit “Breaking Me” by Topic and A75, as well as the drop off of one 2020’s biggest #1 hits, “Rain on Me” by Lady Gaga and Ariana Grande – we can wish a perhaps premature farewell to “Jerusalema” by Master KG and Nomcebo Zikode while we’re here. The bigger stories probably lie with our returns, many of which are peaking or returning to their peak like “Sofia” by Clairo at #75, “All Girls are the Same” by the late Juice WRLD at #73 and “Martin & Gina” by Polo G at #71. The Christmas songs have also started flooding in, one of which is a new arrival that we’ll talk about later, but so far we just have the controversial classic “Fairytale of New York” by the Pogues featuring Kirsty MacColl returning to #63, “Last Christmas” by WHAM! – the biggest #2 of all time – back at #44 and already, on November 21st, more than a month before the big day, “All I Want for Christmas is You” by Mariah Carey moving up to the top 40 at #30. I don’t see much competition that’ll block this from #1 this year. Also, speaking of all this holiday music, “Holiday” by Little Mix returns at #36 thanks to silly UK chart rules that meant it was traded off with “Happiness” from last week. I’ve already reviewed all of these songs – or close enough to all of them – but one I haven’t reviewed is “Yes Sir, I Can Boogie” by Baccara returning to #57 as it becomes the new Scottish football anthem. You know, that Spanish disco track from 1977. It did hit #1 that year, but this is such a bizarre return I felt the need to talk about it... but, never mind, I think I should take advantage of having less on my plate this week. In terms of fallers and climbers, “Straight Murder (Giggs & David)” by, you guessed it, Giggs and Dave, dropped out of its top 40 debut to just #56 this week, joining the biggest faller, “Dynamite” by BTS, presumably having its streaming cut or just finally running out of the K-pop steam, dropping from #21 to #52. Other songs backing away from the top 40 include “Deluded” by Tion Wayne and MIST at #49, “Confetti” by Little Mix at #42 and “Loading” by Central Cee at #41. What worries me is there’s not much that seems to be replacing it, other than maybe “Plugged in Freestyle” by Fumez the Engineer and A92 at #45 or our biggest climber, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #30. It should also be noted that strangely, the album at #1 on the Album Charts has no presence in the UK Top 75 – which I review because, really, who cares about those last 25 songs? – probably because of how many physical albums were sold instead of digital sales and streaming. It’s an AC/DC album so it’s expected that the audiences who stream songs and buy CDs from Australian rock legends don’t overlap, even with a big lead single that nearly charted on the US Hot 100. Well, let’s talk about the songs that DID debut finally, starting with... the revenge of the Sith.

NEW ARRIVALS

#65 – “Cut Me Off” – Yxng Bane featuring D-Block Europe

Produced by DZL and Akeel

The music I’ve been listening to has been pretty much all over the place recently, ranging from 1990s drum and bass to McAlmont & Butler to bitcrushed hyperpop to Ned’s Atomic Dustbin to... Young Thug, for some reason. That’s part of the reason I like doing REVIEWING THE CHARTS. It keeps me grounded to what music is actually popular, important and what I should be looking out for. With that said, I don’t think I’ve ever felt the need to look out for D-Block Europe, but they keep on popping up on the chart week after week regardless. Well, a collaboration between these two is never unexpected; after all, they have an entire album together, which has sometimes confused me since Yxng Bane has always been a smoother Afrobeats crooner whilst D-Block Europe make stiff, comical trap-adjacent emptiness type beats... whatever that means. The collaboration, I have to say, actually works and I’ll admit, I’m actually pretty fond of this track. It’s got a pretty minimal beat off of mostly dancehall percussion, sparse vocal samples and bass, but it picks up a lot of groove during the chorus and whilst Yxng Bane isn’t exactly the most interesting frontman, he does ride the beat fine and his sing-songy flow is pretty damn catchy. He takes care of the first half of the song, before D-Block Europe even come in, and surprisingly, the first other voice we hear is Dirtbike LB. No, Dirtbike isn’t interesting but he sounds a lot more engaged than usual and he actually sounds mentally sound and happy, so that’s good, even if he rids the song of any of Yxng Bane’s subtlety. His flows are pretty solid, even if they are sometimes copped from NAV on “Lemonade”, oddly. This beat can also handle Young Adz’s fascination with leaving empty space in his verses, as he has some pretty complex melodic and triplet flows over the beat, which never loses its funk even when threatened with how awkward D-Block Europe tend to be, and that final flow Adz uses over the pumping 808s is smooth as all hell and actually has some swagger for once. He doesn’t say anything embarrassing and there’s actually some wordplay going on here, so I really can’t complain about this track as much as I wanted to. Will it stand up to replay? Maybe not, but this is pretty great actually and a massive improvement from all three of these dudes, although this may just be a fluke like “New Dior”. If these guys want to show more fluke brilliance from now on that would be great. Just saying.

#60 – “HOLIDAY” – Lil Nas X

Produced by Take a Daytrip and Tay Keith

I like Lil Nas X. I enjoy his fun social media presence and meme-heavy persona, which may grow old to a lot of folks but I still like seeing him pop up on my timeline. I admire how he is openly gay and not afraid to discuss that in his music especially when he has the impossible platform of “Old Town Road”, one of if not the biggest songs of all time. I’m intrigued by his willingness to blend genres and break down boundaries in styles of music from sound, presentation and even race, even if it loses him some points on actually developing said tracks, mostly ending up as demos – the initiative is there. However, on that last EP, and especially this song, his charisma is the driving force and I don’t think Nas can replicate the magic of even “Panini” without more than his natural, jovial and playful tone. To start off with the positives, I do like the cold, icy beat that fits with the vague, pretty false holiday theme here, and they are some nice little details like that wobbling synth-bass differing from typical distorted trap 808s, the background keys replicating the melody of the second chorus throughout, and even the morphing of the producer tags to form a sentence. Tay Keith took it to ten instead for this beat, I suppose, and it is a good fusion of the two production styles. The problem I have with this song is, unfortunately, Lil Nas X. His delivery is checked-out and bored, and that makes these hard-to-sell lyrics about his career both irrelevant to the ostensibly Christmas-themed song and just not convincing in the slightest.

I can’t even close my eyes and I don’t know why, I guess I don’t like surprises / I can’t even stay away from the game I play, they gon’ know us today, yeah

This is the chorus and he’s saying absolutely nothing here. It’s just rhyming words that would have fit for a demo but are produced with some robotic multi-tracking and engineering to make it sound professional but also dull and manufactured. Sure, the verses and pre-chorus have more depth but this type of self-aware flexing and snarky one-liners only works well when it doesn’t sound like it’s being played completely straight (No pun intended). The song and artist exhumes character and optimism but both the beat and Nas here sound sour, mean-spirited and almost ugly. Most of the throwaway pop culture references are pretty pointless and awkward as well, with some really awful lyrics.

Ayy, and I’m sexy, they want to sex me

I call redundancy, Your Honour. Oh, and what a pre-chorus. “Hee-hee, I’m bad as Michael Jackson”? In 2020? It’s not like I expected anything lyrically superb from Lil Nas X, but less filler and... unfortunate implications would have been fun. Man, I do want to like this song, and I’m excited for that “CALL ME BY YOUR NAME” track he continues to tease, but for now this doesn’t work as a Christmas single at all, unless your idea of the Winter holidays is joyless cynicism. Okay, well, maybe in 2020, that’ll work out for you but any other year, this wouldn’t cut it.

#59 – “A Little Love” – Celeste

Produced by Josh Crocker and Jamie Hartman

This song is an advertisement. So much of an advertisement in fact that the full name of the song is “A Little Love (From the John Lewis & Waitrose Christmas Advert 2020)”. The John Lewis company is a brand of high-end department stores across the British Isles and have become kind of an iconic Christmas tradition in the UK for their heart-warming but often fantasy-adjacent advertisements they release every November or so. It always comes with a song, sometimes original, sometimes a cover, and nearly always a dreary piano ballad. This year they enlisted BRIT Award winner and British soul newcomer Celeste but not even new blood and an original song written for the advert can make this sound anything resembling interesting. A lot of people thought this John Lewis advertisement was disappointing – I don’t have an opinion because I do not care about the quality of adverts. I also do not care about the quality of the song which I’m sure you can tell is very little. This advert becomes increasingly irrelevant as the years go on and not even Celeste’s pretty unique voice can make this anything more than dull and half-baked. I mean, it’s well-mixed, but so is nearly everything that charts. You really can’t say this is anything but a product that serves as promotion for another product. It’s no surprise this didn’t debut high because in 2020 – and really any year – people would and should want more than this. Hopefully this doesn’t coast off of the advert and become a hit because, I don’t know, it kind of sets a bad precedent. Maybe I’m just pretentious. Probably.

#43 – “Flavour” – Loski and Stormzy

Produced by Mike Elizondo and Steel Banglez

Last time we saw Loski, he was going for a threatening and menacing “bad guy” drill track, but now he’s making room for the ladies in that drug trafficking route, rapping over a smooth Afrobeats instrumental courtesy of Steel Banglez, who’s still around actually amongst the waves of rip-offs and producers courting his style for their own, and it’s just a hook-up jam where the guys mostly trade bars about girls. Of course, Stormzy gets the first verse, but with the deadpan delivery of both of these guys but especially Loski, the somewhat shoddy vocal mixing on Stormzy’s voice, I find myself caring so little about absolutely any of this. This beat is kind of distracting in how it mixes Eastern strings with Afrobeats rhythms, early 2010s dance music synths (the main synth pattern sounds as 2014 as possible) and trap skitters. The hook is barely existent, neither of the guys have chemistry or charisma here, not even Stormzy, and the song’s about two Loski verses too long. No, the lyrical content isn’t anything but vaguely cute, surprisingly inoffensive and shockingly lacking in misogyny for once, and I don’t expect it to be. Honestly, Stormzy name-dropping Everybody Loves Raymond is probably the highlight. I’m sure Ray Romano is beaming.

#7 – “Stop Crying Your Heart Out” – BBC Children in Need

Produced by Brian Rawling, Mark Taylor, Anoushka Shankar, Sheku Kanneh-Mason, Grace Chatto and BBC Concert Orchestra

When I did my Spring episode, I was met with a BBC Radio 1 cover of “Times Like These” by the Foo Fighters that was released to support the NHS workers during the COVID-19 pandemic and the first British lockdown. This “Live Lounge Allstars” single went to #1 and naturally, with a second lockdown we have a second single by a second BBC radio station with second-rate “Allstars”, which is probably why it’s just credited as BBC Children in Need this time. Oh, and for some reason, they credited every single BBC Child in Need on the Spotify page this time. Now last time we had you know, the actual Foo Fighters, as well as global superstars like Dua Lipa and Ellie Goulding, as well as Sean Paul, Rita Ora and members of Coldplay, alongside many, many others, all of which were or are relevant to this day. So for this second song, not only did they take an absolutely crap Oasis single from their early-mid-2000s years, way after they had stopped being worth listening to, and stripped it of any of its genuine orchestral backing and intriguing and iconic Liam Gallagher vocal deliveries. I’m not going to go in-depth like last time. It still butchers a classic, but a classic song I hate in the first place, just getting rid of any redeemable elements that Oasis still had in 2002, so I don’t care enough about the source material but really this is weak and boring, with questionable vocal mixing and unimpressive vocal performances from everyone involved. If you’re wondering who everyone involved is, it’s Izzy Bizu, Grace Chatto of Clean Bandit, Melanie C, Jamie Cullum, Ella Eyre, Paloma Faith, Rebecca Ferguson, Jess Glyne, LAUV, Ava Max, James Morrison, Gregory Porter, Nile Rodgers, Jack Savoretti, Anoushka Sankor, Robbie Williams and Yola... as well as some of the more bizarre additions, like Jay Sean riding high off of an uncredited sample of his hit last year, Kylie Minogue clearly only here to promote an album (In fact, that can sadly be said for most of the artists here), Lenny Kravitz and freaking CHER both being somehow completely unrecognisable, Goddamn Bryan Adams and KSI of all people, who doesn’t even get a rap verse like AJ Tracey and Sean Paul on the first cover. He’s just... there, I guess? None of these guys are in sync at all and the song was unremarkable in the first place but I can’t get mad at charity going to a good cause, even if all of these musicians could just cough up some of their own cash. I expect to see this fall dramatically next week.

#2 – “Therefore I Am” – Billie Eilish

Produced by FINNEAS

This, however, I predict will stick around. Billie Eilish bravely drops the lowercase for a brand new song – and maybe perhaps could possibly be a lead single – and it acts as an attack on the critics, particularly a response to all of the nonsense that has been thrown her way for being a confident young woman in the industry who decides she doesn’t want to conform to outrageous beauty standards set by the media. I think a very recent notable one was when she was photographed by paparazzi walking and looking like a completely normal 19-year-old woman (although, perhaps one with particularly vibrant hair dye) and was met with criticism from the news media and a lot of different narratives on social media, ranging from general body-shaming (which she already took a stance towards in March on her tour with a pretty cool short film) to weird professions of beauty when, no, she did not look like she was keeping up appearances and that is completely fine. That image displays a problem with how society holds celebrities and particularly women to a ridiculous fashion standard, even when they’re just walking from place to place, like they can’t look like your normal, ordinary, every-day adult woman, which, you know, they are. I think she really gets to that point when she says this:

Top of the world but your world isn’t real / Your world’s an ideal

Sadly, I think the rest of the song is rather underwritten and feels like a vague diss track towards critics, using arguments that really only apply when talking about cyberbullying and genuine toxic media press (which the UK knows well), and generalising them with all critics, making it seem like a human attack on mass-media corporations, which doesn’t really go down as well as she wants it to. The pre-chorus, chorus and even the second verse and bridge feel pretty underwhelming in terms of content too and whilst her carefree delivery is supposed to make the lines hit harder if anything it just weakens the blow. The minimal production from FINNEAS with a pretty nice 808 bass groove and distorted percussion, as well as a pretty piano flourish, does help to make this sound a bit less tired but honestly just makes Eilish seem out of place if anything, which isn’t true for anything else the two have made together, so I’m personally not a fan and think this is a rare miss for Billie and FINNEAS. I agree with the message, but this could have been executed in a much more impactful and aggressive way that would have made more of a point, in my opinion.

Conclusion

That’s not to say that the song is bad, though and I’ll give “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish an Honourable Mention even for just being interesting and more than the most basic, factory-produced equivalent of its genre that could be made, which can be said for most of the rest of the tracks here. Best of the Week does go to Yxng Bane and D-Block Europe of all people for “Cut Me Off”, and I can’t bring myself to dislike a charity single so I suppose Worst of the Week goes to Lil Nas X’s “HOLIDAY”, and the Dishonourable Mention will be brought to you after the messages. In other words, it’s “A Little Love” by Celeste. Here’s this week’s top 10:

I’ll brace myself for the upcoming week now, and you can follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank if you want to see me Tweet complete nonsense the majority of the time. I’ll see you next week.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 21st April 2019

There’s two new arrivals this week and other than one other story not much happened this week so this is going to be a really short episode without a featured song but I don’t care, I needed a break anyway, we’ve had some busy weeks very recently, I’m going to take advantage of a slow week.

Top 10

We barely get any country on the UK charts mostly because country is very, very American so there’s barely any real crossover most of the time, although Florida Georgia Line have cropped up a few times before. So that’s why I think the success of Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus’ “Old Town Road” is so puzzling, at least internationally, because countries like those in the UK are not typically all too friendly to country and/or trap, at least before about 2017 when urban music really started to take a step up in popularity within Britain. I guess it just struck a chord at the right time, especially with the cowboy aesthetic that I see in fashion recently, how we’ve reached peak trap, the acceptance of comedy and meme-rap in the mainstream, unfortunately thanks to Lil Dicky and simply how Lil Nas X is one of us. He was a Twitter comedian and Nicki Minaj stan account, so I’m sure his personality and character is relatable to people right now. We’re still experiencing some 90s nostalgia resurgence right now so Billy Ray Cyrus’ addition just made it perfect... and yes, that means that there’s a new #1. Lil Nas X and Billy Ray Cyrus’ first, “Old Town Road” is up one space from last week to the top of the charts, and I’m not complaining. While I’m a tad more lukewarm on the original, I do think that Billy Ray Cyrus adds a lot to the track and I’ve been rooting for its success ever since it started to be in TikTok memes, so this is a pretty cool event here, even if it’s already been #1 in the US for like four weeks, and I’m pretty sure it’s more of an international cultural phenomenon than I ever expected it to be.

Wow, what a drawn-out speech just to say some country-rap song from a Nicki Minaj stan has hit #1. Speaking of wastes of time, Lewis Capaldi’s “Someone You Loved” is of course down a spot to number-two from last week.

Billie Eilish’s “bad guy” is still at number-three.

MEDUZA and Goodboys continue to rise a spot to number-four with “Piece of Your Heart”.

Also up a space from last week is Tom Walker’s “Just You and I” at number-five.

“Giant” by Calvin Harris and Rag ‘n’ Bone Man has a particularly bad week down two spots to number-six.

The interesting story here is Russ splash and Tion Wayne, however, both having their second top 10 hit in the UK thanks to “Keisha & Becky”, which debuted a few weeks ago in the top 20 and went absolutely nowhere, but has suddenly boosted up 23 spots to number-seven. Maybe there’s been a video released – but that can’t be it because it quite literally debuted with a video already released. I soon found out that there’s a remix with Aitch, JAY1, Sav’O and Swarmz. I’ve talked about JAY1 and Swarmz before, but otherwise this is new territory and while I still have the same problems with the chorus especially, but the verses aren’t bad here, and Tion Wayne ending his with humming is pretty funny. Aitch is just embarrassing though, Sav’O and JAY1 are non-existent and Swarmz references “Gucci Gang”. It’s also way too long now, so I would in no way call it an improvement.

Down a spot from last week is Jonas Brothers with “Sucker” at number-eight.

Also down one space from last week is Dave with “Location” featuring Burna Boy at number-nine.

Finally, “Here with Me” is at #10, rounding off our top 10 with CHVRCHES’ first ever top 10 hit and Marshmello’s fifth, up a spot from last week.

Climbers

I find it funny that I concluded the last episode or so with mentioning how I can see all the debuts being hits but none of them are really going away right now, so I hope they’re slow burners. Speaking of, Alec Benjamin’s “Let Me Down Slowly” featuring Alessia Cara is up five spaces to #31, and that’s the only notable climber we have.

Fallers

We have a handful more of these, however. Billie Eilish’s “bury a friend” continues its fall down five spots to #15, as does “wish you were gay” funnily enough also by Billie Eilish at #26. “MONOPOLY” by Ariana Grande and Victoria Monét is also down seven positions to #30, prematurely joining long-term hits like “Wow.” by Post Malone down six spaces to #32. Oh, and there was an absolutely massive collapse for Ariana Grande’s “break up with your girlfriend, i’m bored” thanks to streaming cuts and dumb UK chart rules, down 24 spaces to #39.

Dropouts & Returning Entries

Remember when I said last week’s debuts would have longevity? Well... “My Bad” by Khalid is out from #32, “Kill This Love” by BLACKPINK drops out as expected from #33 and “Cool” by Jonas Brothers is out from #39. Otherwise, as I figured, “Streatham” by Dave is out from #40 and that’s all. In terms of returning entries, “Sunflower” by Post Malone and Swae Lee is back at #40 for some reason and for equally no reason, “Who Do You Love” by the Chainsmokers and 5 Seconds of Summer is back at #36. Sure?

NEW ARRIVALS

#13 – “Boy with Luv” – BTS featuring Halsey

Produced by Pdogg – Peaked at #1 in Malaysia and South Korea, #8 in the US

BTS have a new “Comeback”, because that’s what all their albums are called, I guess, even if their eras are non-existent. That’s one thing I don’t really like about K-pop – the mismanagement, and how the bands are overworked, but I suppose that’s none of my business, I’m just here to review the music – and, yes, this is the lead single and video from K-pop boy band BTS’ album and/or EP MAP OF THE SOUL : PERSONA, featuring... Halsey? To clarify it’s pretty much just a brief cameo, she doesn’t add anything to the song at all other than some crossover potential and to be fair I think that it will help them have more longevity unlike most K-pop songs that end up on the main charts. The beat is pretty barebones initially, just a vocal samples and a pretty groovy bassline actually, under a pretty steady drum beat which feels more organic than most K-pop beats, which usually go for a stilted trap beat. I can’t tell the difference between the BTS boys and Halsey, but I will say the pre-chorus is really catchy, even though I feel like I’ve heard it all before, it has a slight resemblance to “Wolves” by Selena Gomez and Marshmello, I see? The “oh, my, my, my” refrain reminds me of something I cannot exactly place my fingertip on and it’s really annoying, maybe it’s “Sweet but Psycho” by Ava Max but not exactly? I don’t really care, though, because it still suffers from what all K-pop does, the randomly-placed trap-rap verses which, while usually flowing well and okay within themselves, are not placed into the song as if it was an actual part of the song, as in, cohesive composition, and instead like an abrupt beat switch for no apparent reason. To be fair, this is more comprehensible than most other K-pop, but for BTS’ second top 40 hit (First top 20) and Halsey’s sixth (Fourth top 20), it is disappointing, especially with knowledge of the other artists’ work, which is mostly pretty damn good.

#12 – “SOS” – Avicii featuring Aloe Blacc

Produced by Avicii, Albin Nedler and Bonn – Peaked at #1 in Finland and Sweden, and #68 in the US

So, yeah, EDM DJ Tim Bergling committed suicide last year, there’s no way to avoid talking about that, and as to be expected with (And has since happened to) pop stars who die, posthumous albums will be released, the first of Avicii’s being Tim. While Avicii supposedly had the instrumental prior and all was needed was for Aloe Blacc to add some songwriting and lay down his vocals, it is stil like most posthumous releases, somewhat empty, and since a representative stated that there weren’t any plans to release any music, it does feel pretty scummy just a year later, but this is the only song really generating all too much profit for the producers and songwriters (Mostly because of the writing credits for TLC, ironically excluding the member who passed away), because of how all of the profits the album generates are going to the Tim Bergling Foundation, spreading mental health awareness, and I can’t knock that, so I do respect his label and close friends and family for producing this record. This is Avicii’s 14th UK Top 40 hit, the first of which that is posthumous, and his 12th Top 20, as well as Aloe Blacc’s fourth Top 40 and Top 20 hit, and honestly it’s pretty good. Sure, it sounds somewhat unfinished, and it really isn’t anything unique, but I love Blacc’s voice and the hook is insanely catchy, mostly because of the interpolation of “No Scrubs”, with the overproduced synths producing a legitimately good build-up into a relaxed but fun EDM drop, and I don’t really have any complaints about it, other than the fact that due to the circumstances, Aloe Blacc’s subject matter is unfortunately ironic and perhaps misguided, but I understand his intentions with having the song portraying a man, possibly detailing Avicii’s own personal struggles, willing to stop being reliant on drugs for the love of his life, and that’s a message I can get behind. For what it’s worth, I like this, but I’m not sure how moral it is or how long it’ll stick around.

Conclusion

It’s kind of slim pickings here, but I’ll go with Avicii and Aloe Blacc in terms of Best of the Week for “SOS” but I don’t dislike “Boy with Luv” at all so I think BTS and Halsey can scrape through with an Honourable Mention and there are no negative titles this week, because nothing here is worth getting angry about. Follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more pop music ramblings and Top 20 rankings, and I’ll see you next week!