#next mutation is unexpected gold for me

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Venus's You Live In A Toilet you're so right girl burn them

[pitchslapped]

Hi! Do you know of any bechloe fics where Beca rides a motorcycle or any fics where Beca is known as a “ladies man(woman)?

Sorry, this took a while for me to respond. I took a while looking at fics. This was a really interesting set of things you were looking for. Here are some that I could find. Theres a variety of stuff here and some different ships. So I hope you enjoy.

I would love to hear if there are any fics others liked as well.

Beca Riding a Motorcycle

Pitch Perfect Prompts

By @lets-talk-appella

Rated - T

Chapter 4: Black Sabbath

Summary: For Tumblr prompt "Don't do that again! You scared the shit out of me!"

Chapter 5 also a smutty spin-off of this story called Dangerous.

Next Life

By 22_Ti aka @wordsofmyreality

Rated - M

Summary: Amber (future Chloe) felt she made all the wrong choices in life. She gave up finishing her degree. Amber married a man she’s not in love with, a man who is lackadaisical about raising his kids, her stepkids. She’s utterly miserable, and it all stems from the wrong choices she's made along the way. Amber concocts the perfect plan to disappear and start over with a new identity. She finds a romance, and life is perfect… until her love interest discovers she has a past and isn’t who she thought she was. Note: While Bechole is end-game, this story mostly focuses on Chloe’s journey to a better life.

you knock me out (i fall apart)

By Carma19 aka @rebeccamitchell

Rated - M

Summary: Prompt: “Beca’s secretly good at fighting in her tiny lil body and the Bellas finding out about it.”

AKA the pp2!Beca as an underground MMA/cagefighter AU

The motorcycle is not featured heavily but really fits the Beca cagefighter character.

Lost Stars

By BKTheGoldenKnight

Rated - T

Beca, an ex-MotoGP racer, has a tragic past and she had managed to get back on her feet when she met Chloe. However something unexpected happened. Will Beca stay or runaway? AU.

In My Blood

By carma19 aka @rebeccamitchell

Rated - M

Summary: Bechloe // Zombie Apocalypse AU -- In the summer of 2007, an outbreak of a mutated fungus ravaged the United States, transforming its human hosts into aggressive, sound-sensitive creatures known as clickers. Five years into the zombie apocalypse, Chloe Beale, a medic-in-training from the Barden settlement, has a chance run-in with nomadic weapons expert Beca Mitchell and her companions.

Darkness on the Edge of Town

By jm-oc-ja

Rated - T

Beca Mitchell lived every moment of her life to the fullest, she sought out the thrills in life, her favorite thrill was speed. She wouldn't let a thing like college stop that, she also wouldn't have guessed that college would lead her to her biggest most addicting thrill yet, Chloe Beale. How can two women from completely different worlds mesh? AU Beca/Chloe.

Warning this one has a pretty sad ending.

Badass Heart

By Ale0488

Rating - T

Summary: Beca chooses to express her feelings before it's too late.

Asphalt

By Selene Elven

Rated - K

AU. Beca's a motorcyclist. Lilly's motorcycle probably eats souls. Bumper is there, too. And there's someone in a black and gold race suit. In which Beca is one of six racers riding for a small prize pot and she's competitive because HONOR. Or something. One-shot.

Bonus: Chloe riding a motorcycle

Because who doesn't want that idea in their head

The Kissing Booth

By @aliciameade​

Summary: When Beca Mitchell, a late-bloomer who's never-been-kissed, decides to run a kissing booth at her high school's Spring Carnival, she unexpectedly finds herself locking lips with her secret crush - and best friend's sister - Chloe Beale.

Beca the Womanizer Fics

Beca Mitchell Must Die

By chloebeale (tallycravens)

Rated - M

Summary:Aubrey, Cynthia Rose and Stacie are the ex-girlfriends of Beca Mitchell, a well-known serial dater at Barden University. The three set up their former lover to fall for Chloe Beale, a transfer student, so they can watch her get her heart broken. (An AU Pitch Perfect story with the John Tucker Must Die plot.)

The Bet

By BeChloeIsLegit

Rating - M

Summary: Beca Mitchell has managed to sleep with every girl in her High School every year for 3 years. Chloe Beale, now a Senior at Barden University, has been doing the same since her Sophomore year in HS. What happens when Beca comes to Barden and threatens Chloe's position as Barden's #1 womaniser? The Bet is what happens. Who wins? Who loses? And what is the prize?

Everyone loves Beca Mitchell

By Allicat606

Rated - M

Summary: Beca Mitchell knows everyone who meets her falls in love with her. And as a shameless womanizer she loves that. With beautiful women throwing themselves at her will Beca continue her womanizing ways or will one of them capture her heart?

This is a crazy ride of a fic and also a Steca fic.

Sex God

By hollyhwrites

Rated - M

Fat Amy shares a saucy story about her dormroom neighbors with her fellow Bellas & they all agree the person must be a Sex God. UPDATE! No longer a one-shot. DUH! This story has now grown with a life of its own. Our Sex God Beca wants more than

Triple trouble shenanigans.

I am not her

By pleasedontleaveme

Rated - M

Chloe has a sister. She is blonde and popular. Chloe is a redhead and not popular. Everyone wants to be with her sister while no one even knows that Chloe exists. Until they meet Beca. Chloe's sister has a crush on Beca and wants her, but Beca only has eyes for Chloe. On the other hand, Chloe thinks Beca is a player and does not pays attention to her. How will they go through that?

[jangofctts]

Keida, I wanna know how cornering Blanche and just grabbing his face like, “you stupid bitch I love you” would go. Because he’s been avoiding you and not dealing with those feels, but you know he has them, bc he’s gentle af late at night after sex when he thinks you’re asleep.

hERE YOU Go -- it”S FULL OF ANGST

cc-8352 commander blanche // fem!reader

warnings; angst and sad kissing ewkjhh

Gedet’ye = please 

There’s a patterned knock on the door—a short but firm tippity tap that rules out any sort of delivery or sleazy salesperson. That and the fact it’s well passed midnight. Only one person that could be. Blanche—  

You spring up and throw your shitty tabloid onto the footrest and scramble towards the door, cursing when your big toe slams into the legs of your couch. Kriff, you probably broke that shit but bones be damned. This visit is unexpected and you’d gladly break your entire foot just to witness a mere glimpse of the commander.      

He’s got his back turned to you when you throw open the door—inspecting the drab wallpaper that’s beginning to peel and reveal the shitty durasteel underneath. He looks a bit comical like this—almost too broad to fit between the halls with his armor and the sheer mass of his body. It’s not his fault. To put it simply—you live in a dump and Blanche is far too polite about it. He’d compliment the scrap rats if he could, all in the name of putting your embarrassment at ease.   

“Blanche?”

He turns his head, those furrowed brows softening as they graze over your face. You look like a feral loth-cat lady, mismatched pajamas you probably should have tossed out years ago and wild hair thrown into a frantic updo. He always looks at you like this—as if you’re some benevolent deity, gold stained fingertips with a helm of shattered stars that heaves the sun into the sky with ropes of bronze, just so he’s able to navigate through the day. Equal parts amazed and scorched with the brutal reality that he cannot provide anything in return. 

“Did I wake you up?” He asks. His armor shuffles as he takes a step back. “M’sorry. I can leave.“

You grab his wrist and tug him into your apartment before he can escape. No matter how many times you tell him, he’ll never learn—won’t accept the fact that this place is his home just as much as it is yours.  

“I was up anyway,” you say. “Is everything—“

He cuts you off with a feverish kiss, cupping your jaw with both his gloved hands to wrench you closer. He grunts when your teeth bump his bottom lip and the harsh plastoid digs into your chest and—you wouldn’t change a thing. It’s different tonight—Blanche is usually steady, never rushes through the honey sweet kisses and savoring touches, grafting the memory of your very being like he’s afraid you’ll disappear. Or he will—

Tonight is the crackling static of the unknown. Deep fissions of burning stardust, the scent of woodsmoke and ash that blackens your lungs and dances towards the blade of panic. He’s hiding it well with tender whispers of your name through the gaps between kisses, as if his mouth were not full of fear and blood. 

Pieces of his armor are clawed off by your desperate fingers, compiling into a messy heap of white and cyan at your feet. You gasp as his bare palm whispers under your shirt and up your sides to cup your breast. Blanche’s thumb teases over your perked nipple. “Gonna be gone for awhile—wanted to tell you in person.”     

You run your fingers through his hair, threaded with stark white strands, and pull back to kiss the bridge of his nose. The same spot stitched back together, leaving behind a thin scar from where the tip of a blade caught flesh. A dark flush paints his cheeks as you curl a strand of hair around your fingertip and bush it behind his ear. “I miss you already, Blanchie baby.” 

His lips quirk, the half-moon scar over his lip distorting with the motion. “Told you not to call me that.”

“You always smile when I do,” you tease, running your thumb over the tattoos circling his one ice-blue eye. There’s a ring of brown outlining the iris, a sharp crack of mahogany brown through the blue—a mutation—less than perfect he told you once. Another thing Blanche refuses to learn—that perfection begins with the syllables of his names and ends with the sweet taste of his lips.

Neither of you have the patience to move to the bedroom. Instead he pulls you to the floor, the two of you lying over the carpet like a mess that someone’s been meaning to clean for the larger part of a long while. The weight of Blanche’s body draped over yours is a comfort sweeter than ripe fruit on a summer’s eve, feet dipped into the lukewarm lake as the sun melts into the horizon. His lips drag over the protrusion of your collarbone and when he pulls back to look at you, it carries the same weight as blunt knuckles punching through the diaphragm of your lungs.

You don’t care that what you say next is reckless. You mean it, plain and simple. “I love you.”

He flinches as if you’ve you’ve brought his palm to an open flame. “Don’t,” he says, his words edging into a near plead. “Don’t—can’t say that t’me.”

Blanche swallows your shaky breath a kiss, the pad of his thumb swiping away a tear that rolls down your cheek. When the commander pulls back he cups your jaw, his mismatched eyes so full of hurt and bruised insides—he loves you too.  

“Why not, Blanche?” You challenge. 

His crestfallen eyes look away worrying his bottom lips between his teeth. “I wont break your heart.”

“You already have.”

Blanche’s jaw clenches. He sighs. “I belong to the Republic.” It’s hollow. A line repeated and stamped into him. “Just a tool—nothing more.”

You don’t care that when he captures your lips in another kiss it tastes like salt. “You’re not a tool, Blanche. How—”  

His calloused fingers skim your temple and brush through you hair. “Forget me if I don’t make it.” 

You frown, your heart squeezing and twisting like a strangled thing as he plants a kiss over your temple. “Gedet’ye, cyar’ika.”

Blanche never learns.   

[atomkrp-blog]

WELCOME TO XAVIER’S, KIM SOOJUNG !

… loading statistics. currently aged twenty-two, entering first semester of xavier’s in seoul, south korea. decrypting files… mutant has the following records: strength +5, durability+5, agility +5, dexterity +5, intelligence +5. currently, she is classified under tier omega.

BACKGROUND.

Exposition.

This story starts with a woman who falls for a man and they have a one night stand. In the end, her infatuation doesn’t turn out to be much of anything and the romance dies out pretty damn fast. However, the story doesn’t finish there. The woman, of course, finds out that she’s pregnant with a child. His child. And who else is Soojung but the child of a shitty story? Well, that’s what the orphanage nuns told her anyway. They’re not unkind, but they obviously don’t respect her mother.

Rising.

Growing up in an orphanage doesn’t suck as much as the media makes it out to be. The nuns don’t care, but they’re not huge assholes. Or, maybe Soojung just thinks they could’ve been a lot worse. The other kids, though? The other kids can suck Soojung’s metaphorical left nut. She remembers every single one of them and all the things they did to her, thanks to the fact that she was born with her mutation and her memory is one of the first facets of her mutation that kicked in.

One day, she swears she’ll find every single one of them that made her suffer when she was in the orphanage and kick their asses. For now, she’s just trying to fly under the radar and not attract anymore attention than she needs to. Especially he who stabbed a fork into her leg after her accelerated healing manifested and made it a hell of a time trying to hide the stupid lack of an injury from the orphanage nuns.

Climax.

So one might ask, why did someone like Soojung never get adopted? Well, for one thing, she always avoided drawing the attention of the adults who came into the orphanage. She knew ever since she was a young child that she wasn’t the same as everyone else. No one else could remember every single thing in their lives like she could. And that was just the tip of the iceberg. Once she grew up to be of a certain age, it was easy enough to get passed over by as the adults chose younger orphans to adopt.

Soojung left the orphanage once she was old enough that they didn’t want to and couldn’t keep her anyway. Knowing that she was different, and not having any kind of family support to fall back on anyway, she passed through cities and counties taking on odd jobs just enough to support her immense appetite. For the longest time, not having enough food to eat meant she would have to suppress using her athleticism, but sometimes things don’t happen the way you expect them to happen.

And the unexpected was what hit her when she saved someone from being run over by an 18-wheeler truck, which is what attracted the scouts at Hangang Academy.

Falling.

Now, she’s transitioning away from her days of being a wanderer, avoiding the eyes of others and into an academic life again. The orphanage sent the kids to school, so she went as far as to graduate from high school with a certificate but that was pretty much as far in life as Soojung expected to go. And frankly, it wasn’t as if she wouldn’t have been able to ride through on a scholarship to any university that she wanted to. Yet the danger of being caught for what she was and possibly being lynched for it scared her far more than any possible ambition to succeed in life.

The fact that she’s been given a chance now to figure out how to harness her abilities and maybe integrate back into society later feels like it’s too good to be true.

MUTATION.

Harder, better, faster, stronger. Soojung is not your average human, heck, she’s not even your average mutant. Both her body and mind are supernaturally enhanced; eventually she’ll be in even better than peak condition. Currently, her skills are still manifesting.

STRENGTHS.

Accelerated regeneration and healing. So far, this aspect of her ability allows her to heal faster than your average normie. She hasn’t manifested the regeneration portion of the mutation yet. When she gets small cuts and scrapes, they disappear within a couple of hours instead of days. For larger injuries, they might take a couple of days instead of weeks.

Athleticism. She’s got the physical skills of Olympic athletes so far. In terms of speed, she’s about on par with Usain Bolt. She can deadlift as much as a male Olympic gold medalist. Her flexibility could put top figure skaters and gymnasts to shame. And she parkours with the best of the professionals. She hasn’t explored the limits of her athleticism yet, but so far it seems that she’s got peak human athleticism without even trying and it gets better every day.

Memory. Soojung has a photographic memory. She remembers everything that she’s seen and experienced with crystal clarity. She has perfect recall and can tell you exactly what happened to her on any specific date in her life, albeit only down to the time if she happened to be checking it. 

WEAKNESSES.

Accelerated regeneration and healing. She’s not invulnerable, so she can still die if she’s repeatedly hurt faster than she can heal. And of course, whatever injuries she sustains still hurts as much for her as it does for a regular person. It’s possible for her to heal around an object that’s been pierced through her or penetrated into her body, so removal of foreign objects is a hell of a process because she’s constantly healing against the removal. Surgeries are excruciating because her body metabolises the anesthesia faster than regular humans, and incisions need to be constantly remade because her body will keep healing over the cuts.

Athleticism. Exerting any of her athletic abilities makes her hungry. As a matter of fact, not exerting it also makes her hungry. Soojung is always, always hungry. And not the kind of hungry like, “hmm, it’d be nice to have junk food for lunch” but more like, “if I don’t eat right now at this godforsaken moment, I am probably going to start cannibalising the person next to me” kind of hunger. It’s a bitch to constantly wake up every couple of hours just to eat and make sure she doesn’t accidentally eat someone else.

Using this ability too much within a short period of time gives her shitty side effects like nausea, vomiting, migraines and passing out. The kind that her accelerated healing doesn’t take away because it’s almost like psychosomatic symptoms of overusing her abilities.

Memory. You know how some embarrassing memories keep you up at night, some nights? Yeah, Soojung can’t forget any of her embarrassing memories. At all. Soojung can’t forget anything that passes through her memory at all. It’s a double-edged sword because some things, you just want to forget but she can’t. Especially traumatic things that she’s gone through; that shit plays through her head every single time she’s reminded of it and she can’t even rely on time to soften the edges of it.

She can only remember things that she’s seen or experienced. You could ask her about anything under the sun and she might have the answer, but only if she’s encountered the thing that you’re asking her about. Otherwise, she’s as clueless as the next Tom, Dick or Harry about it.

Similar to her athleticism, overusing her memory within a short span of time gives her negative side effects. Cramming a 500 page book be possible, but if you give her 15 minutes to process a whole encyclopaedia series? Be prepared to deal with a really nasty hot mess in terms of nose bleeds, vomiting, even concussion-like symptoms, which again her accelerated healing doesn’t fix.

[moonprincess101]

One-In-A-Billion (Platonic! Chester x Kristen (MC))

(Shortly after her Endeavor in the Ice Vault,Kristen is called over by an unexpected person: Something’s Happening to him,and as far as he knew,she could help. But what he doesn’t know is that his ‘problem’ hits surprisingly close to home)

“Kristen Xavier?”

Kristen perked her head up and glanced over at the source of the voice,it was a girl,same year,Ravenclaw from the blue and gold robes.

“Um... Yes? What is it?” She looked at her,the Ravenclaw Girl pants a little since she ran,but managed to speak up.

“S-Someone wants to meet you tonight after class hours... I-I can’t say who...”

“Tonight? But why...?” The gears in the Slytherin’s head were turning

“In the Courtyard.” The messenger quickly added before speeding off.

“...In the Courtyard... Tonight?” She mumbles,more confused than ever.

It was a bit of a mystery,and considering what has happened ,Kristen has had enough Mystery for this year.

—

The Courtyard at night was surprisingly quiet,which was pretty different from the hustle and bustle she’s seen during the day.

Kristen’s footsteps were the only things heard as she entered the main area. By the fountain was a young man,back turned to her and lightly rubbing his hands.

“You... wanted to meet with me?” She inched closer,wand in hand,he froze a little and turns to her.

Her brain racked for who could this guy be,he wasn’t a bad looker,tall,slightly curly dark hair,brown eyes...

Then her eyes fell onto the gleaming prefect’s badge pinned into his robes.

‘This... but this is Rowan’s Prefect!’ She thinks,’Why would he ask to meet me?’

“I didn’t think you’d come,if I may be honest,Miss Xavier...” he slowly stood up and extended a hand for her to shake,”I’m Chester Davies,and I think you might be able to help me.”

“Okay...? But why-“ She grabbed his hand to shake and immediately retracted it,eyes wide,”Holy crap that’s cold! Your hands are like ice!”

“That’s...” Chester lowered his hands,”That’s my problem actually... M-My hands... I don’t know if it’s Cursed Ice or anything but things started to freeze in my hands and next thing you know,” he points to the fountain where she spotted growing frost in the water,”I don’t know what’s wrong! I-It... it doesn’t feel like magic I know of... and Madam Pomfrey can’t explain it.”

“Ice...?” She thinks thoughtfully,then realization hits her HARD,enough that she accidentally drops her wand.

Madam Pomfrey can’t explain it,and he says it doesn’t feel like magic.

“...Does it... Does it feel natural? Like... something you feel like has been there your whole life?”

His nod confirms her suspicions.

It was a Mutation.

Chester Davies was a Hybrid. A rarity. A one-in-a-billion just like her and Jacob.

And what little they knew about the Hybrids is that they’re more powerful than the average wizard and mutant.

“I... You’re problem...” she feels a grin creep into her face,”You’re in luck,Mr. Davies,Not only do I know how to help you... I also know what are you.” She uses her telekinesis to slowly lift her wand from the floor to her hand.

She knows her priority should be the Cursed Vaults and her studies. But she’ll admit:

Hogwarts just got a lot more interesing.

—

I hope you all liked this! I’ll admit,the idea itself is a little out there,but I can provide a little explanation:

Mutant-Wizard Hybrids are pretty rare,and there haven’t been many records of them at all. Kristen,Jacob and now Chester are the first in a very long time.

Jacob has Mimicry and Power Replication,Kristen has Telepathy and Telekinesis,and Chester has Cryo and Hydrokinesis.

If you like I can make a post explaining other bits and pieces but i think this is a good enough explanation.

[slash-and-burn-babe-archive-blog]

MEME:   share five lyrics / songs / pieces of music that represent your muse. ( repost. don’t reblog. )

01.   HEATHENS - TWENTY ONE PILOTS

We don’t deal with outsiders very well They say newcomers “have a certain smell” Yea, trust issues, not to mention They’re saying they can smell your intentions

chosen for its tie-ins to the suicide squad movie, which deals with criminals that have been locked away and are now needed to save the world, this song reflects prim’s jarring experiences living among the insane --- clinically and criminally. it represents the underbelly of prim’s truly dark nature, and the fact that she lives as a real monster among men and those who’ve been lost to the infection. frightful as it might sound, prim also handles within it locking away her past, which is riddled with abuse, experimentation and loss. and when you live with others facing their locked away traumas as well, aren’t you all heathens?

Why’d you come? You knew you should have stayed I tried to warn you just to stay away But now they’re outside, ready to bust It looks like you might be one of us

02.   DEMONS  -  IMAGINE DRAGONS

When they days are cold, and the cards all fold And the saints we see are all made of gold When your dreams all fail and the one we hail are the worst of all And the blood’s run stale

next selection is picked from the crop for its deep rooting in seeing the world and its evils, and letting those evils poison your veins. at least, that’s what it means to prim. this song talks about knowing the world is filled with sin and misery, and such sin has destroyed her life via her own bleeding hands. the mentioning of demons and darkness resonates with prim’s destructive habits and massacre-level acts, and the guilt that it burns into her soul, forcing her to shut the monster within her away.

I wanna hide the truth I wanna shelter you But with the beast inside There’s nowhere we can hide

03.    ZOMBIE -  BAD WOLVES

Another head hangs lowly Child is slowly taken And the violence causes silence Who are mistaken?

another gut-wrencher in the tracklist, this specific cover of the cranberries’ zombie is the deepest rooted song in who prim is as a character, as well as what her story has entailed since that fateful night in october of 1996. the song’s title, being “zombie”, is a bit of irony in and of itself, considering the hell prim is experiencing living through the zombie apocalypse. mostly played when witnessing the undoing of primrose grimm, this track is hard hitting, deeply sorrowful, and represents how prim can become a mindless creature, screaming and sobbing over her losses, and attacking anyone who dares disturb. leaves you to wonder, though; why did she mutate into a hunter instead of a witch?

In your head, in your head, they’re still fighting With their tanks, and their bombs And their guns, and their drones In your head, in your head, they’re dying.

04.  ASHES OF EDEN  -  BREAKING BENJAMIN

Will the faithful be rewarded when we come to the end? Will I miss the final warning from the lie that I have lived? Is there anybody calling? I can see the soul within And I am not worthy, I am not worthy of this

to be taken by the title literally and metaphorically, ashes of eden is the epitome of prim’s misery. it strikes her when she least expects it, and it hits her the hardest when she’s alone. while the claimed “ashes of eden” could represent the fact that prim sees herself as a damned soul, unsaveable by anyone and she’s one of the sinners who forced the now burned and destroyed heavens above to rain to Earth in the form of the Green Flu, it mostly represents the falling of her sister’s love and memories, as she died at age 4 due to a house fire that prim started. to top it all, her sister was named Eden.

Are you with me after all? Why can’t I hear you? Are you with me through it all? Then why can’t I feel you? Stay with me, don’t let me go. Because there’s nothing left at all Stay with me, don’t let me go Until the ashes of Eden fall

05.  BELIEVER - IMAGINE DRAGONS

First things first, Imma say all the words inside my head I’m fired up and tired of the way that things have been Second things second, don’t you tell what you think that I can be I’m the one at the sail, I’m the master of my sea

the epic finale to the setlist, believer is prim’s acceptance of what she’s done and forgiving herself for the past transgressions. it’s her way of saying “fuck you” to the world that broke her, but showing she’ll still try to fix it and be a hero in her own right, all while looking badass. it also speaks to her opening up to new friends and finding love in one of the most unexpected places, and allowing her little sister’s voice to guide her in the right direction, representing her being a “believer” in love, friendship, care and trust --- the very things she had cast aside at a young age because they caused her pain.

You made me a believer, you made me a believer, believer You break me down, you build me up, believer, believer Oh let the bullets fly, oh let them rain My luck, my love, my God, they came from Pain

+ BONUS ROUND: for songs that are Prim related, but didn’t make the cut

-  What Lies Beneath (Breaking Benjamin), Crossfire (Stephen), Ain’t No Rest for the Wicked (Cage The Elephant), The Pretender (Foo Fighters), Iris (Goo Goo Dolls), Counting Stars (OneRepublic), The Bird and The Worm (The Used), Through The Fire and Flames (DragonForce), Don’t Threaten Me With A Good Time (Panic! At The Disco), Control (Halsey), Everybody Knows (Sigrid)

TAGGED BY:  @cf-isclation TAGGING:  @deadmans-flush, @anoldsoldier, @devotedbryce, @forsakentyler, @ask-rochellle and pretty much anyone else who wants to do this

[braindamageforbeginners]

A Moment of Introspection (or, Why Positive Thinking is Actually a Bad Thing)

Since starting the whole end-stage brain cancer thing, I’ve gotten a variety of messages from assorted friends and acquaintances wishing me well - it's quite heartwarming, actually - and, although it's universally well-intended, a significant percentage (about 20-40%, I'd estimate) have the glaring subtext, “Cheer up, for Chrissakes.” I appreciate that, for most people, that's intended as a sincerely well-meaning sentiment, but, uh, no; no thanks. I was never a cheery person, I'm unlikely to turn into one under current conditions. All of this reminded me of why I'm fastidiously documenting this whole process. We tend to see dying people as “the great other,” (believe me, we really do, you just don't experience it until you're on the wrong side of the equation), and that colors a great amount of my interactions - you can kind of simulate this experience, by spending a day where you don't discuss, or do, anything pertaining to a time frame after the next six months. It'll be easier for some of you than others.

The ClifNotes version of this rant is how to properly respond when you hear bad news about a friend or neighbor, and why positive thinking isn't such a good idea. We’ll tackle the second one first, because I'm a Star Wars fan.

When you develop a dangerous disease, you will be overwhelmed by many things, but the most annoying are people telling you to remain positive. This is a bad idea on many levels, not least of which because it could kill you. When I first found out about the latest tumor in July, I was told not to panic, that this was a fairly slow-growing tumor, and I had some time to deal with it. When my tumor was removed in November - that's about 4 months, for those keeping score - the tumor had leap-frogged from stage II to stage IV.  If I had freaked the fuck out the minute I heard the word “tumor” and had it removed immediately; I would be in a completely different diagnostic category, with a completely different prognosis and life expectancy. And that wasn't even positive thinking, that was just relying on well established medical facts and/or probability. So you can understand why, perhaps, I'm suspicious of positive thinking at the moment; it’s demonstrably dangerous to me. So, you'll forgive me for operating under the assumption that this will be my last Christmas. That may or may not be accurate, it's simply an inference based on current events (speaking of which, there's an excellent chance I’ll eventually lose my insurance if that despicable tax bill becomes law, which will result in blocking access to care, which will inevitably end in a sub-optimal result for me). I suppose you could take that the other way, and assume, “Well, the disease behaved unpredictably already, that could swing the other way, too,” but it's still not a bright idea to bet on a team on a losing streak. Also, I already beat the odds - for fifteen years. This is just the law of averages catching up to me.

We are also an outcomes-oriented society - no one’s about to show up and give me gold star for living 30-odd years as a decent, kind human being who never really achieved anything of import; it's unlikely I'll get credit for weathering this particular shitstorm with grace and dignity (BTW, dignity is the very first thing that gets jettisoned in these situations; I think I left any remaining scraps of that on the floor of the shower when I had to have a nurse physically support me throughout the entire shower/basic hygiene process). I should get credit for not strangling any of the nitwits who try to cheer me up the wrong way.

THE PROPER WAY TO CHEER ME UP: Tell me about your aunt who beat brain cancer (I’m actually being sincere). Maybe leave out that epilogue about her living a full three years past what the doctors expected; I'm not in a position to refuse any extra time, but I'm ambitiously hoping for more than five years. Call me crazy! Or, y’know, just treat me like a regular person who's in the middle of a bad divorce. I'm aware that my situation is much worse, but I can not escape the constant reminders that I'm in a really bad way (I'm taking very strange meds that give me insomnia and heartburn; I'm on the phone with my doctors, nurses, and insurance company every hour or two; I could go on), so it's nice to be treated as a person, and not a disease bound in human flesh. I love Oprah, I love Oscar Wilde, but until they're sitting in a waiting room next to a man with literally only half a face, please don't spout inspirational garbage unless you want to make it onto the “To Stab” list.

Speaking of being an outcome-oriented society; a great deal of my (and probably most other cancer patients’) dread and anxiety is based on the uncertainty of outcomes. We tend to be of the mind-set that our fear of an event is much worse than the event itself; and, normally, I'd agree with that sentiment. Except, at almost every single step in the diagnostic/discovery process, the outcome has not only been far worse than my worst fears, it's outstripped my doctors’ predictions. True, I have gotten slightly lucky in a few ways (the surgery went far better than expected, I do have a mutation that gives me a 40% chance of survival with conventional treatment, I'm in a drug trial that should improve those odds, and I might be able to get insurance next year), but even those all come with caveats and qualifications. And they're weighed against an uncertain future in which even death isn't the worst possible outcome (remember Two Face in the waiting room? Yeah, it's not likely to happen to me, but neither was stage IV brain cancer). So, you might understand why, with a future that's decidedly more S. King than B. Potter, even with the rosiest predictions (and not a whole lot of future, at that). The happiest baby rabbit photo in the world isn't going to improve those odds, so keep the motivational posters to yourself. If things are looking better in a few weeks, yeah, sure, I'll be cheerier, but I haven't even started treatment yet.

I realize that most of these misfires come from the human impulse to do something to help each other (again, knowing that people are just well-intentioned idiots has saved a few of those idiots from a much-needed eyeball gouging), and it just comes out wrong. I try to preface everything I write with the warning that I don't speak for all cancer patients, just me. Today, I'm going to abandon that stance and speak as Cancer Man (but not the cool, X-Files one), patron saint and mouthpiece for all patients with terrible afflictions, and give you, dear reader, the perfect response when you hear that unimaginable tragedy has struck someone you care about. I'm so confident in its efficacy, that it will work not only for cancer, but for almost all diseases, and, indeed, tragedy in general, from unexpected weight gain to a neighbor losing their child. However, before we get there, let's look at the very best, and very worst, reactions (there's only one of each, I won't hold you in suspense for too long).

So, far and away the best response to my situation came from a former boss in the biotech industry, who had heard of several promising clinical trials, and offering some advice about trial eligibility. I knew I was a decent employee, I didn't think I was that good.

Now, the very worst response - and the one I've possibly received the most - is, “"I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.” Or something similar. Usually this is whenever I bring up the odds of me making it five years (about 40%), because Americans don't understand how probability or basic math works (this also explains our economic policies). Fortunately, most people realize it's kind of a dickish thing to say, “I can completely empathize, because I am also mortal.” It took me a while to figure out the proper response to that, which is; “"I'm so glad you agree, let's play some Russian Roulette.” Once I break it down that way - that I'm in a life or death situation over which I have absolutely no control - most people back off.

Anyway, here's your go-to response whenever tragedy strikes someone you know; “"That's awful. I am so sorry, and I have no idea what to say. Is there anything I can do?” That will work for every unpleasant disease you can imagine, I'd wager my life on it (another phrase that used to mean something).

And the only person who's inquired - unprompted - about my emotional state was my radiation oncologist. She was sort of double-checking that I was depressed (or trying to figure out if the cancer was causing it, I'm not sure). Either way, the implication was the disease could be directly influencing my emotional state and/or outlook. If you're still having trouble understanding why I'm slightly upset, imagine having an alien parasite in your brain that can alter your very perception of reality - what we usually call our sanity - and knowing that, if science fails, things will get much, much worse, and eventually, you will die. That's not a problem if you're Kirk or McCoy, but let's say you're slowly becoming aware - like Rosencrantz and Guildenstern - that you're a nameless red shirt. BTW, if Spock doesn't synthesize an antidote in time, these dispatches are going to become very surreal as I descend into madness and pain.

Finally - and don't worry, I'm mostly done with self-pity - you'll have to be patient, I literally found out about all of this five weeks ago. It's all a little much to adjust to in less time than it takes to establish residency in most places. Hell, just for comparison, my chemo/radiation course is - minimally - six weeks. Which brings up my final point (hang in there, we’re almost done), why I'm writing these things. In our society, we tend to view dying people (or those in grave situations) as The Great Other. We want Morrie Schwartz, or we want sick people to shut up and go away (BTW, the feeling’s mutual on the other side of the fence, sick people just want you to give us morphine and let us die in peace). I have not heard of anyone undergoing this, uh, process, while maintaining their surliness and cowardice (and you would be, too, if you were only getting a few hours of sleep every night) - not that I'm dedicated to those traits, but they come naturally to me in crisis (or this particular crisis; I don't know what I'd be like if I was sleeping well and didn't have to call some specialist or billing department or coordinator every hour or so) - and I think future cancer patients should be assured that a bit (or a lot)(or even massive amounts) of griping and fear is fairly normal and has no real effect on the outcome (it doesn't, I haven't seen a study conclusively showing any correlation between attitude and patient outcomes). And this whole writing project will help me keep track of my efforts to find the world’s funniest cancer joke. It has to be out there, somewhere; I've been unable to shake the feeling that I'm somehow involved in some horrible, tasteless joke (and I've crunched the numbers; this whole thing is so statistically outlandish that finding out I am some sort of fictional character in an elaborate story about end-of-life issues would not be the most surprising (or upsetting) discovery I've made this month), and damned if I'm going to leave before figuring out the punchline (of course, I'm about to be damned, anyway; my mother described the radiation waiting room as “the line to cross the Styx”). And finally, I'm doing this because I still can; there may well come a time when I'm unable to write - a thought that scares me far worse than dying. And it may very well may happen; after all, we live in a universe rich in possibilities.

In conclusion, if you feel the need to cheer someone up, there are other cancer patients you can bother. Some of them are probably serene and wise, even (those are the patients with personal assistants to wade through the vast pile of BS that is the bureaucracy of the modern medical-industrial complex). If, on the other hand, you're interested in seeing how far down the rabbit hole goes, with a host who isn't afraid to ask, “This is really fucked up, right? This isn't just me, is it?” I'm your man. For good or bad, my life looks the way it does because I'm too lazy to pretend to be someone I'm not (well, that, and life-long neurological disease); and I'm certainly not going to work on that skill while simultaneously trying to survive what promises to be the very worst (possibly even the very last) two months of my life. Speaking of which...

UPDATE: I met with the researcher running the neurocognitive assessment trial, which is kind of fun (the neurocognitive tests are kind of like some sort of therapy for dementia patients (which, I suppose, could describe me soon enough); you get to draw things (sort of), you play word games (sort of), and you get to play with blocks (sort of)). And then I got to fill out some forms to assess my current neuropsychiatric state. I realize I use synonyms for “fear” a lot on this blog, but the questions on the psych form were deeply upsetting in their implications (”Have you had recent troubles articulating your thoughts or feelings?” YOU. MOTHERFUCKERS. Writing is the last thing I have any real control over; don't you dare take this from me). Good news; the researcher assured me that current radiation treatment is much less nuclear holocaust-y than old fashioned radiation treatment, and the goal of this study is to demonstrate just how much better it is for patient cognitive abilities. She was less happy about my constant pestering her about specifics (”Have I experienced balance problems in the last week? Yes, but since someone was sawing through my somatosensory lobe a month ago, I don't think it was a psychiatric issue.”), so she eventually told me to shut up and scribble any notes or caveats in the margins (I don't think anyone will be amused that, after I rated the statement “I am afraid of dying” (I very strongly agree with that statement, obviously), I wrote, “There is about a 60% chance I'll die in the next five years, it's not a fear, it's just basic math.” Still, it was reassuring when she told me that she does see most patients again at the three month follow-up, and that most of them are mostly-intact. And, in surprising news, I finally saw the psychooncologist; and she seemed remarkably empathetic and intelligent (I guess it's just the administrative staff that are cruel and incompetent). I guess I have adjustment disorder (no shit, Sherlock)(also, there's probably a few readers who saw that coming). But, bigger news, the antidepressant I was on is linked to anxiety, insomnia, and, wait for it... seizures. So, I will be transitioning to a less dangerous (for me, anyway) antidepressant over the next few weeks, so things might get a little odd around here during that time. She (the psychiatrist) also said something to mull over; (and I'm paraphrasing), “Any time you cut into the brain, you permanently change the neurochemistry. And we've done that to you three times since you were 17.” I also got a call from my original mad scientist oncologist in Northern California (or one of her Igors, anyway), reminding me that she wants an MRI a month after starting radiation, which is reassuring. I have no illusions about her investment in me; it makes for a much better case study if the patient lives longer, and I am a once-in-a-lifetime medical specimen (I don't mean that in a sleazy, “Welcome to the gun show” way; I once calculated that there are fewer than 250 people with similar medical histories... on planet Earth). Still, the more people who want me to live, and are in a position to help make that dream a reality, the better. Now for the bad news; the radiation department is still haggling with my insurance company, and that's holding up this whole process. However, they're expecting to hear back in a day or so, and, as Dad noted, the insurance company has been quite generous and almost-mammalian during this whole process. All I want for Christmas is chemo.

[thegeekcurmudgeon]

The Steam-Driven Time Machine: My Adventures in Steampunk

As revealed in my previous post, I’m moderating the Steampunk panel at this weekend’s Comicpalooza. Newer folks may wonder why I’m moderating such a panel. (Or not, but I’m going to share this with you anyway).

Way back in 2008, I produced this little essay for Ann and Jeff VanderMeer’s bestselling, seminal anthology Steampunk. The magnificent book came out just at the beginnings of the latest Steampunk craze. After nine printings, one could argue it helped fan the flames of the movement.

Without further ado, here’s the unabridged piece.

The Steam-Driven Time Machine:

A Pop Culture Survey

by

Rick Klaw

When I was a child in the seventies, it seemed like the 1961 Ray Harryhausen special effects-laden The Mysterious Island played constantly on the TV. Not that I minded. Michael Craig leads a crew of Confederate P.O.W. escapees as they pilot a hot air balloon toward points unknown. Crash landing on an apparently deserted island, the castaways encounter giant animals: a crab, a flightless bird, bees and an cephalopod, all presented in Harryhausen’s dynamic stop motion animation. The group discovers the presumed dead Captain Nemo, who had mutated the animals as part of an experiment. Throw in the pirates that attack the island and you have the recipe for a near-perfect movie. By nine years old, after many repeated viewings the film entered my personal zeitgeist, informing my later tastes and many of my creative decisions.

Mysterious Island was my first exposure to steampunk, long before K. W. Jeter coined the word in the late 1980s.

Personally, I think Victorian fantasies are going to be the next big thing, as long as we can come up with a fitting collective term for [Tim] Powers, [James] Blaylock and myself. Something based on the appropriate technology of the era; like “steampunks,” perhaps… (Locus, #315 April 1987)

Featuring interviews with Jeter and Blaylock plus a cover by Tim Powers, the Winter, 1988 issue of Nova Express introduced me to the term “steampunk.” By that time Powers and Blaylock were both part of my reading repertoire. Jeter joined a few years later.

Among many of the advantages of living in Austin as a young science fiction fan in the late eighties and early nineties was the strong and fairly well organized creative community. The local science fiction literary convention, Armadillocon birthed though probably as a surrogate the Cyberpunk movement, as it was the first North American convention to feature William Gibson, Bruce Sterling, Lewis Shiner, and Pat Cadigan as guests of honor. Austinite Lawrence Person’s previously mentioned ‘zine Nova Express further encouraged science fiction critical studies with insightful interviews and reviews by professionals and fans alike.

Some twenty years later, pop culture has embraced steampunk. Publishing, film, and even the Internet embolden the term as a branding tool. Nary a week goes by without Boing Boing (www.boingboing.net), the venerable group blog, posting about some sort of steampunk inspired gadget, cartoon, or essay. A search of their archives generates almost 1500 articles. Subjects vary greatly: laptops, keyboards, watches, Transformers, planes, Car Wars, submarines, and so on. Many articles showcase functioning modern technology using steampunk methods and materials. Others present actual working machines from the 19th century. Images presenting artistic depictions of steampunk, paintings, sculptures, architecture and the like. Reinterpretations of popular shows such as Star Trek and Star Wars litter the listings. Original short films featuring steampunk tropes offer many amusing and sometimes exciting diversions.

The user-generated online encyclopedia Wikipedia (en.wikipedia.org) contains lengthy, extensive entries for both “Steampunk” and “List of steampunk works”, citing an array of sources. The English language version of the Polish site Retrostacji, Steampunkopedia (steampunk.republika.pl) offers the most comprehensive steampunk works chronological bibliography available on the web along with numerous links to steampunk-inspired videos. Sadly, the site stopped updating in February, 2007.

Using the collaborative wiki-method, ﾆther Emporium (etheremporium.pbwiki.com) claims “to provide a onestop resource and archive for all things Steampunk”. Potentially very interesting, the sparse site supplies some intriguing information and views from the nascent steampunk subculture. Another online cultural source, SteamPunk Magazine (www.steampunkmagazine.com), dedicated to “promoting steampunk as a culture, as more than a sub-category of fiction”, produces a pdf format magazine and for-sale print version under the auspices of the Creative Commons license, an agreement that allows anyone to share and distribute the work as long as it is not for commercial or financial gain. Each of the three currently produced issues contain fiction, features exploring different aspects of the subgenre, and interviews with steampunk luminaries.

Even Wired (www.wired.com), home of the techno elite, lists some 930 archived pages about the subgenre. Often sharing similar coverage with its cyberculture cousin Boing Boing, the subjects run the pop culture gamut. Oddly, the domain name steampunk.com works as the home for The Speculative Fiction Clearing House, a portal for science fiction websites. The site has only a tangential relationship with the subgenre.

Back in the late eighties, I encountered my first steampunk role playing game. Featuring Victorian space travel and steam powered devices, Space 1889 (1988) was the first primarily steampunk rpg. At the time, I immersed myself in the rpg community, envisioning myself more of a gamer and possibly role play games creator than an essay or even a fiction writer. This delusion lasted for about two years, after which I decided to devote my creative energies toward other writing and editing pursuits.

Prior to Space 1889, steampunk elements frequently cropped up in games. Most Dungeons & Dragons campaigns contained various steam-powered devices, usually projectiles or vehicles. Hero Games’ pulp era adventure game Justice, Inc (1984) featured many steampunk-type props, most notably steam-powered robots. Cthulhu By Gaslight, Victorian era rules for the Lovecraft-inspired Call of Cthulhu game, premiered in 1986. While set in the 1890s, the supplement relied less on steampunk– beyond an odd section on time travel– and more on real-world settings.

In the ensuing years, steampunk routinely appeared in rpgs. Within the popular gaming universes such as Warhammer, GURPS, and Dungeons & Dragons, steam-driven devices and Victorian era tropes became commonplace. The cross-pollination of the American Old West and anachronistic devices thrived within several games, chiefly Deadlands and the Japanese title Terra the Gunslinger.

Even LARPers got in the act. Premiering May 21, 2004 near Baltimore, MD with a three-day episode, Brassey’s Game, a steampunk live action role playing game (LARP)1, involved approximately 30 players in Victorian garb, who relied on heavy character interaction. The initial campaign ran for six weekend-long episodes. Six other stand alone Brassey’s Game episodes took place during the first campaign. Since its introduction, several other groups from various parts of the US, using modified versions of the original rules, participated in their own Brassey’s Game events.

Another element of my seventies childhood, The Wild Wild West, the first, best, and longest running steampunk television series, forged my future love of the weird western. The show related the adventures of two Secret Service agents- James West, a charming, womanizing hero, and Artemus Gordon, inventor and master of disguise– as they protected, often in secret, the United States, its interests and citizens. In four seasons from 1965-1969, the duo encountered all sorts of odd villainy including a brilliant but insane dwarf, recurring arch-villain Dr. Miguelito Quixote Loveless, and bizarre weaponry such as cue stick guns and a triangular steam-powered tank with a barbed tip. Combining the best elements of traditional westerns and James Bond, The Wild Wild West spawned two late seventies TV movies with the original cast, a dreadful 1999 big screen movie, two separate comic book series (1960s Gold Key and 1991 Millennium Publications), and four novels, as well as influencing a generation of writers including Joe R. Lansdale, Norman Partridge, and Howard Waldrop.

The Adventures of Brisco County, Jr., the direct thematic descendant of The Wild Wild West, premiered on August 27, 1993, starring the cult actor Bruce Campbell of Evil Dead fame as the title character. Set in the 1890s, Brisco attempts to capture the members of the Bly Gang, the cutthroats responsible for his father’s death. The series sported an intriguing cast of characters: Lord Bowler, bounty hunter and rival, lawyer Socrates Poole, Dixie Cousins, con-woman and Brisco’s great love, and inventor/scientist Professor Wickwire, brilliantly portrayed by John Astin and supplier of Brisco’s steampunk-like gadgetry. Even with clever story lines, the show lasted for only one season.

Perhaps the most unexpected use of weird western steampunk tropes occurred in the second season of the animated Adventures of Batman & Robin. “Showdown” with a Joe R. Lansdale teleplay from a story by Kevin Altieri, Paul Dini, and Bruce W. Timm tells of the immortal Batman villain Ra’s al Ghul’s 1883 confrontation with the DC Comics gunslinger Jonah Hex. The battle centers around a plot to blow up the nearly-completed tracks of a transcontinental railroad using dirigibles loaded with cannons and other explosives.

Because starring in one Wild Wild West­-inspired short lived TV series is never enough, Bruce Campbell portrayed the title character for two seasons in the disappointingly inane Jack of All Trades (2000). Jack Stiles, a secret service agent stationed by President Thomas Jefferson on the fictional French-controlled island of Palau-Palau, defends American interests while serving as the aide to a French aristocratic. Jack employs many steampunk-type weapons and gadgets. Loosely based on the classic 1919 novel, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s The Lost World amazingly ran for three seasons (1999-2000) with poor special effects, bad acting, poorly crafted storylines, and some minor steampunk elements. The 1982 Q.E.D., set in Edwardian England, last for only six episodes. Voyagers!, a time travel adventure series with periodic steampunk bits, managed 22 episodes over one season (1982-1983). Steampunk materials appeared in several episodes of the various Doctor Who incarnations.

Under the premise that Jules Verne actually lived the adventures that he wrote about, The Secret Adventures of Jules Verne (2000) delivered steampunk action with airships, steam powered devices, and even a steampunk cyborg! Playing upon the inherent metafictional possibilities, several episodes featured “real life” authors and personalities such as Samuel Clemens, Queen Victoria, Alexander Dumas, Cardinal Richelieu (a time travel episode), and King Louis XIII. The promising show never jelled and was canceled after one season.

The Japanese have also embraced steampunk television, albeit the animated variety. Based on the long running manga Fullmetal Alchemist, set in an alternate late- 20th century society that practices alchemy and uses primarily early 20th technology, enjoyed a 51 episode run (2003-2004) and an 2005 anime feature film. Steam Detectives (1989-1990) follows the adventures of a young detective in a reality where the only source of energy is steam power. Set on a floating world with stylized Victorian fashions, Last Exile (2003) relates the story of airship pilots Claus and Lavie and their involvement in a plot about a mysterious cargo.

Another steampunk show derived from the works of Jules Verne, Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water (1989-1991) inspired a feature film sequel (1992) and a manga series. Set in 1889, circus performer Nadia, young inventor Jean Ratlique, and the famed Captain Nemo attempt to save the world from the Atlantean known as Gargolye who is bent on restoring the former underseas empire. Translated into eight different languages, the series achieved worldwide popularity.

Based on a series of popular video games, Sakura Wars relates an alternate 1920s reality that uses steam primarily to power all sorts of modern devices. Developed into numerous video games on several platforms, a manga, a tv series, five OVA2 tie-ins, and a feature length movie, Sakura remains a uniquely Japanese cultural phenomenon.

Back in the seventies, Mysterious Island opened my eyes to new worlds as I encountered many more steampunk films. The 1930s Universal monster pictures with lighting-powered monsters, chemically induced madmen, and animal-mutating mad scientists exploited the yet undefined genre. Beneath a Victorian backdrop, Victor Frankenstein empowered his creatures in both Frankenstein (1931) and Bride of Frankenstein (1935) using the highly unlikely method of electrocution. In the latter film, Dr. Pretorius joins forces with Frankenstein, attempting to create life through alchemical means. Director James Whale recognized the inherent Victorian melodrama and the treated the films accordingly, thus creating two masterpieces.

Two of H. G. Wells’ science gone-amok novels inspired a pair of 1933 Universal movies. The Invisible Man, directed under the masterful hand of James Whale, relates the story of a man who goes mad after imbibing his own creation: an invisibility potion. Starring Charles Laughton and Bela Lugosi, The Island of Lost Souls adapted The Island of Dr. Moreau for the first time. The story of Dr. Moreau and his rebellious mutations, like that of The Invisible Man speak to the Victorian notions of science and sadism. The Island of Lost Souls has been remade poorly twice as The Island of Dr. Moreau (1977, 1996).

Fittingly, the first film recognized as steampunk was the 1902 fourteen-minute French animated short Le Voyage dans la lune (A Trip to the Moon), based on Jules Verne’s From the Earth to the Moon and H.G. Wells’ The First Men in the Moon. Wildly popular upon its release, the Georges Méliès film– one of his hundreds of fantasy films– achieved canonical status within science fiction.

Hollywood rediscovered Verne with a vengeance in the 1950s and 1960s, making numerous film adaptations including the steampunk films 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea (1954), The Fabulous World of Jules Verne (1958), Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959), Mysterious Island (1961), Master of the World (1961), Five Weeks in a Balloon (1962), and tangentially Captain Nemo and the Underwater City (1969). Wells was not far behind with most notably The Time Machine (1961). One of producer George Pal’s special effect spectaculars, The Time Machine thematically remained close to the source material especially the portrayal of the machine itself. An awful version of Wells’ book was made in 2002.

The seventies witnessed a severe drop in steampunk related films as whiz bang space science fiction became the norm. A notable exception, the entertaining Time After Time (1979) suggested that Wells invented a time machine and traveled to 1979 in pursuit of Jack the Ripper.

In 1986, Hayao Miyazaki released his groundbreaking anime Castle in the Sky (aka Laputa: Castle in the Sky). A magical tour-de-force featuring floating cities, airships, and pirates, the film follows a young girl, Sheeta, and boy, Pazu, on their quest for the mystical, missing city of Laputa. Miyazaki returned to steampunk in 2001 with his masterpiece Spirited Away, the highest grossing movie in the history of Japan. Easily the most awarded steampunk work in any medium, Spirited Away won the Academy Award for Best Animated Film, the Amsterdam Fantastic Film Festival Silver Scream Award, the Nebula Award for Best Script, the San Francisco International Film Festival Audience Award Best Narrative Feature, five Mainichi Film Concours Awards, two Awards of the Japanese Academy, four Annie Awards, and many others. Miyazaki’s eagerly anticipated follow up was the steampunk Howl’s Moving Castle (2004), based on Diana Wynne Jones’ popular young adult novel. Successful both financially and critically, Howl’s plays as a traditional European fairy tale but with steampunk elements.

Sadly with a few exceptions, Miyazaki’s works represent the abnormal in modern steampunk. While movies such as Vidocq (2001), The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen (2003), Hellboy (2004), Van Helsing (2004), Around the World in 80 Days (2004), Steamboy (2004), and The Brothers Grimm (2005) display strong stylings, they all fall short on substantive storytelling.

The third and perhaps weakest of Terry Gillum’s Trilogy of the Imagination, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen (1988) recounts the legendary tales of eponymous Baron. Littered throughout with steampunk tropes and devices, Gillum displays a magical world in this delightful, if overlong film.

The French duo Jean-Pierre Jeunet and Marc Caro created the strange, surrealist masterpiece 1995’s The City of Lost Children (La Cité des enfants perdus). Unable to dream, a mad scientist steals the dreams of children. The kidnapping of a circus strongman’s little brother leads to some bizarre and fascinating confrontations between the strongman, the children, and the scientist. Beautifully imagined within a late 19th century industrial city complex, The City of Lost Children magically envisions a dark steampunk society.

The disappointing film version of The Golden Compass, the first novel of Phillip Pullman’s extraordinary trilogy His Dark Materials, premiered in 2007 amidst a maelstrom of controversy, as various Christian groups–most notably The Catholic League– urged their members to boycott the movie citing the story’s perceived anti-God bias. The protesters had little to worry about since director/screenwriter Chris Weitz stripped the original tale of any complexity and relevant subtext, presenting a dull, lifeless movie. Even with gorgeous visual effects (particularly of the dæmons and the airships), superior acting (especially Dakota Blue Richards’ authentic portrayal of a fierce twelve year-old girl), and a $200 million budget, The Golden Compass offered yet another 21st century steampunk film failure.

Some thirty-five years after my initial discovery, steampunk still fascinates. I eagerly await to read about the new devices listed on Boing Boing. Even given the poor quality of most steampunk movies, films with airships and Victorian stylings still excite me. Clearly I am not alone as evident by the sheer amount of steampunk material continually being produced and the very existence of this anthology. 

Vive la vapeur!

1a form of role-playing game where the players physically act out their characters’ actions.

2Original video adaption, a phrase coined by the Japanese for direct-to-video films.

The Steam-Driven Time Machine: My Adventures in Steampunk was originally published on The Geek Curmudgeon