#new. lol. ive known him since i was 16
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lookforanewangle · 6 months ago
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do you ever realize you fucked up big time by staying on your phone too long and you still need to both shower and sleep. but then you just keep dicking around on your phone
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whatshereforme · 3 months ago
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Since watching the new season of heartstopper ive been playing around with labels again (which I haven’t done since a friend I trusted basically shut me down and told me I can’t just be something without having “tried all my options first” ew). I’m always scared to relabel or try identifying as something other than what I’m comfortable being because I feel like I owe everyone consistency
When I was 15 (I’m 21 rn) I came out as lesbian and honestly I was so comfortable with that and how people perceived me and I kinda loved how my male friends (which I had a lot of back then) treated me. The downside was how the black community treated me, I was mostly in the closet to them but the closet was very much transparent (they could always tell I wasn’t straight lol)
The year I turned 18 I started identifying as bisexual, largely because I thought I might like my male best friend. I proposed the idea and he asked me out almost immediately. We dated for exactly 7 days before I realized I wasn’t really into him like I thought. Downside to this era was the comments my male friends would make about “bisexual girls” to me. The only thing was that I was too scared to start identifying as lesbian again because I had come out to all my friends as bi already.
So I carried that label until now (a few people I know still think I’m probably lesbian still lol). The reason I felt comfortable in this label was because I had just turned 18. I went clubbing and did some excessive drinking for the past few years and being bi gave me an excuse to drunkenly make out with random men on nights out. I still don’t know how I feel about men to this day I guess (I’ve always known I’m romantically attracted to women but I’m always on the fence about men, it’s a bit weird)
My trouble came with the fact that I’m not keen on hooking up with people. No matter their gender I’m just not super excited about the concept of “intercourse” or any of the stuff that comes with it. When the last season of Sex Education came out I watched it with a friend and offhandedly made a joke about being ace in reference to one of the characters and she went “you can’t be ace you just haven’t had sex yet” and that literally sent me spiraling for days and I just pushed the feeling down and ignored it
Earlier this year though I was having one of my late night talks with my little sister because we had a sleepover in the living room. I made a joke about how I’m probably never gonna be in a relationship ever because I don’t really wanna have sex and she asked me if I was being serious. I said yes and she said “there will definitely be people out there that will be with you even if you don’t wants sex, you need to stop being such a dramatic bitch lol”. That was obviously really reassuring to hear someone I love tell me it’s ok to not want sex, even if that person is my straight 17 year old sister.
I’ve been very afraid of being openly asexual because I’m scared no one will love me if I can’t give them sex but also I know I’m capable of loving people without them giving me sex but that’s only because I don’t want sex in the first place. I just feel I will personally be unlovable.
Anyway back to heartstopper. Imogen’s journey with comp het was very much relatable for obvious reasons as I had gone through all that by that age (and am still deliberating to this day if I just crave male attention, which is sad I wish I was still as confident as I was at 16 to know but life took over lol) and of course Issac’s journey with dealing with the affects of being aroace in a world that revolves around romantic relationships and conditions us to believe we need to want sex and romance. I had already read solitaire, Loveless and Radio Silence when I was in secondary school. Radio silence was the first time I felt so utterly seen in a character. That being Aled Last (mostly relating in our similar relationships with our mums). And then I read loveless and it literally put me off kilter of months. To see Georgia’s journey had me reflecting on everything I was taught about relationships and sex and friendships (but then I had exams and graduation and had to put that self revelation on hold lol)
All this to say, I’m deciding from today that I want to identify as Asexual. I know labels can be limiting to some people and they have been to me for that past few years as well but I think being ace is something I have to go to be true to myself. I’m definitely not coming out of the closet anymore I’m too tired of thinking I owe that to people but I’m going to try be honest with myself.
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liquorisce · 1 year ago
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what was hsy erens first time having sex like? i wonder if at the back of his mind he had thought of mikasa
hope ur having a great holiday ris!
thank youuuu anon! i had such a lovely holiday i truly came back feeling like a new person etc. hope you had a wonderful holiday season too!!
its been so long since ive thought of hsy eren, my baby!!! i think his first time having sex was really intense in the moment and underwhelming in the aftermath. he was probably 16 or something and a stupid kid and didn't know what he was doing. he dabbled in school sports for a bit and hung out with boys who were having sex and thinking about tits and swapping pornos on cds (yes he lived in that era), so he just thought with his dick and nearly embarrassed himself when he touched his first boob probably lol. i think he came really quickly (sorry eren lol), and tried to make up for it with enthusiastic pussy eating that he did on a purely competitive level (mikasa had raised him to be a sweet boy LMAO jk) bc you know its only fair that the girl who got him off gets to get off. so with several rounds of instruction eren manages to crack the orgasm code and eventually succeeds.
since sex was so transactional and surface level, eren didn't have too much space to think about mikasa during his first time. after, HOWEVER, he has definitely had stray thoughts about
whether mikasa was sexually active
contemplated asking mikasa for advice about orgasms and then had a little breakdown while truly considering talking about it to her face
contended with intense jealousy and hatred when he overheard her friends discussing ideal dick sizes and in particular hearing mikasa's offhand comment about an unknown penis: 'that seems kind of nice. could do the job, i suppose.' it remains unknown what mikasa was actually referring to lol
entertained vague erotic dreams about walking into her in the shower which he almost found himself doing purposefully, and then slapped himself in the face muttering: BEHAVE!
after he has sex with mikasa for the first time however, he spends several minutes in the shower (alone), shaking slightly from just how changed he feels from something he thought was so... mundane. his body feels strange, his skin loose and dewy after it has known how she feels against him: sweat slick and feverish. his lips feel changed too, like they have morphed to fit around the shape of hers. it makes him slightly anxious- simultaneously feeling as if this was who he was supposed to be all along, but slightly terrified of what he would become if he were ever to lose her.
god i had no idea i had so many feelings about hsy eren! tysm for this ask!!
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sydneyshipsstuff · 1 year ago
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answering both of the recent tag games in one since im lazy (so scroll for the questions below the bingo)
tagged by @professional-benaddict (sorry for responding so late lol) and because i dont have too many mutuals, tagging anyone who sees it & wants to do it!
Tumblr media Tumblr media
I chose my baby Spider-Man/Peter Parkee, with a focus on the starker fandom!
1. How did you discover your fave?
spider-man movies -> video edits on insta/tiktok -> irondad fanfics on wattpad -> ao3 -> looking at starker in disgust -> becoming a part of the fandom
2. How long have you been a fan of your fave?
since homecoming! when it first came out but it took me a while to start interacting with the fandom
3. Do you write for your fave? (E.g. AU's, Drabbles, Fan Fics.)
sorta! i don't actively write, just kinda drabble sometimes and i mostly dont post that, plus helping others write, i do have drafts that have been in my docs for years though
4. Do you like what is canon about your fave?
i do but i feel bad for him! poor guy has nobody :((, but before endgame i was in love with canon.
5. Tell some of your headcanons of your fave.
•his spider abilities on top of the originals like purring, cant have peppermint, hibernates, etc
•his love of animals, always stopping on patrols to say hi to them or trying to keep the strays he finss
•being worthy of mjolnir and picking it up without knowing the significance
•that he worms his way into the hearts of everyone he meets
6. Do you draw for your fave? (E.g. Fan Art)
no i dont, but i love seeing others fan art obviously!
7. If your fave/s are portrayed by several actors, who are your fave portrayers?
basic, ik, but tommy.
8. Are you more into Books/ Comics/Films when it comes to your fave?
mostly the fanfics then anything, but the movies and comics are so entertaining.
9. Quote anything about what your fave has said.
this ones weird but when i went to new york i went out of my way to go to moma because of him mentioning it to tony
10. Quote your favourite line of your fave!
basic but the "When you can do the things that I can, but you don't, and then the bad things happen, they happen because of you." because even though its sad/semi unhealthy to put that pressure on yourself, i relate to it in a way and uphold myself to helping whenever i can.
11. Ever made a edit for/of your fave?
i dont think so? maybe photos but that would have been a while ago
12. Songs you associate with your fave?
anything to do w new york really
13. If your fave was real, do you think they'd like you?
i think so, if we meant in a natural way lolol, i try to be social and i think id be able to joke with him
14. Amongst your fave/s who do you think are you? (E.g. You have 5 faves, amongst the 5 of them you think of yourself as fave no.3)
skipping because i only am answering for the one
15. Do you know your fave origin story?
yes i doo, radioactive spider bite, yada yada, parents dead, yada yada, uncle shot, rip, grew up in queens & stayed there
16. In 1 word describe your fave’s aesthetic.
akward
17. Is/Are your fave/s famous on A03?
yes very much, but mostly for irondad
18. Ships that you like with your fave?
i do like irondad if thats even considered a ship, peter w tony, harley, steve, stephen, and bucky, either seperate or at the same time, and im open to other pairings too
19. Is/Are your fave/s well known?
yes very well
20. If your fave/s have a fandom, what do you think about the fandom?
i like them, idk if theyd like me now that ive gone to the dark side lol
21. Describe yourself using something your faves have said
oops kinda did this already for another question but, "I am Responsible. I…Oh crap. My backpack’s gone." I try to be responsible but i am very clumsy and forgetful lol, and i do a lot of stupid shit
22. If you would feed your fave/s something, what would it be?
as big of a meal as i could possibly make, very carby, probably pasta, get some meat on those bones and feed the super apetite
23. How do you see yourself in any of your fave/s?
i see the optimism/ akwardness in myseld as well, we are semi-close in age so i think that contributes to it
24. Ever taken a break from your fave/s?
sorta, it was very short and it was mostly in between going from irondad to starker as well as small breaks i took from everything lol
25. If your fave/s were to have a crossover, who and which character would they have a crossover with?
well they did have one with stephen and the other spidermen but i think it would be cool to see him really interacting w the women of marvel, aka kate, yelena or natasha (also rip), pepper, captain marvel, america chavez, etc.
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az3422 · 4 years ago
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PeppersGhost's Proposal, I guess.
K/O Failure Scenario Hub » SPC-001 » PeppersGhost's Proposal, I guess.
rating: +263+–X
You are now connected.
[13:04] Topic is "Fuck credentials, fuck passwords, fuck secrecy, fuck everything. Just, fuck in general. Fuck like it's the end of the world, because it is. Fuck me, please oh lord im so alone | Welcome! If you're still alive to read this, good luck finding someone to talk to."
[13:04] DrTsega: Hello? Anyone here?
[19:32] DrTsega: I'll take that as a no, then.
[22:48] DrTsega: I can't be the only one left.
[22:49] DrTsega: Hey Queg, are you still running?
[22:49] Queg: Hello, DrTsega. What can I do for you?
[22:49] DrTsega: thank god
[22:50] DrTsega: !backscroll 10
[22:50] Queg: [04:33] SgtYitay: I've looked through the entire building
[22:50] Queg: [04:33] SgtYitay: Everyone is dead
[22:50] Queg: [04:33] AgentCaleb: No shit
[22:50] Queg: [04:33] AgentCaleb: I know nobody uses this thing anyway but DAMN it's been EMPTY
[22:50] Queg: [04:34] AgentCaleb: You think it's just the two of us?
[22:50] Queg: [04:37] AgentCaleb: You still there
[22:50] Queg: [04:39] AgentCaleb: Saaarrrrge
[22:50] Queg: [04:50] SgtYitay has been disconnected (Ping timeout)
[22:50] Queg: [18:22] AgentCaleb: oooookay well i think im gonna call it quits then. If anyone sees this tell my husband I love him
[22:50] Queg: [18:22] AgentCaleb: lol jk i'll see that dogfaced whore in hell 👍🕶👍
[22:51] DrTsega: hmm
[22:52] DrTsega: !seen Agent Caleb
[22:52] Queg: AgentCaleb was last seen 8 days ago saying: lol jk i'll see that dogfaced whore in hell 👍🕶👍
[22:52] DrTsega: shit
[22:53] DrTsega: shitballs
[22:53] DrTsega: shitmonkeys
[22:55] DrTsega: shit the nail on the head
[22:55] DrTsega: okay
[11:16] DrTsega: Good morning. If anyone sees this just ping me, I'll stay around as long as I can.
[09:48] DrTsega: I'm still here
[14:26] DrTsega: !quote CaptSumner
[14:26] Queg: CaptSumner: I may be shitting out of my pee parts but FUCK YOU I will WALK IT OFF
[14:26] DrTsega: haha what
[14:27] DrTsega: Good times, good times.
[14:28] DrTsega: I wish Sumner wasn't lying dead in the bathroom
[14:29] DrTsega: or anywhere, for that matter
[14:33] DrTsega: but especially the bathroom
[08:01] DrTsega: I'm still here
[12:55] DrTsega: Man, if anyone sees this later I'm going to look really pitiful
[05:51] DrTsega: okay I can't sleep so I guess I might as well do this
[05:52] DrTsega: !settopic Check the backscroll. Look for "Start here"
[05:52] Topic is "Check the backscroll. Look for "Start here""
[05:52] DrTsega: Start here
[05:53] DrTsega: If you're still alive to read this, congratulations. You survived.
[05:54] DrTsega: You also have access to working internet and enough knowledge about shadow governments to visit a (previously) private communications channel, so, hey, good on you.
[05:55] DrTsega: As a reward for being such a cool and alive person, I'm going to tell you the story of how we ended the world.
[05:55] DrTsega: For context, though, you'll probably want to start by reading a certain document…
[05:56] DrTsega: Actually, you can probably just skim it. A lot of this won't make sense to you anyway, so who cares?
[05:57] DrTsega: Anyway. I'll go find the link. If memory serves, they declassified everything when they realized we were all gonna die.
[06:13] DrTsega: How are these servers even still up? Isn't that just the craziest thing
[08:22] DrTsega: Found it.
NOTICE FROM THE CENTRAL INTELLIGENCE COORDINATION
AND PROJECTS OPERATION COMMAND OFFICE
There is nothing new to report regarding SPC-001 at this time.
Test subject displaying the results of his exposure to SPC-001.
Project #: SPC-001
Selachian Pugnātorial Capabilities: Individuals enhanced with SPC-001 display a dramatic improvement in pugilistic prowess and have consistently proven capable of easily dispatching 90% of squaloid entities in simulations, even with no prior training. Furthermore, SPC-001 subjects have reported a radical elevation in coastal requiescence position retention, even when under assault from extragranular sedimentary weaponry.
Project Components: SPC-001 is a manmade chemical substance which augments the biological strength and dexterity of human beings. After initial exposure to SPC-001, subjects will undergo a steady increase in muscle mass over the following 72 hours, accompanied by heightened energy levels and adroit perception of their surroundings. Increased lung capacity and resistance to deep-sea hydrostatic pressure are common side effects.
Following the DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION and the subsequent activation of the ALL HANDS ON DECK PROTOCOL, SPC agents embedded in the food industry began introducing discreet amounts of SPC-001 into numerous products intended for public consumption. Centre researchers have projected a full global saturation of SPC-001 to be achieved by the year ████. In the event that the DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION ends before global saturation can be achieved, more aggressive means of SPC-001 dispersal may be undertaken to prevent a complete End-of-World K/O Failure Scenario.
Nascency Impetus: On May 16, ████, all observed selachian entities across the globe simultaneously demanifested, including those in SPC captivity. No selachian entities or evidence of the continued presence of selachian entities have been observed since. A Maximum State of Emergency was declared soon after by the Executive Pugilist Assembly and the phenomenon was codified as the DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION. It is the belief of the Assembly that the selachians are congregating in preparation for the FINAL CONFLICT, an event foretold by Elder Pugilord Azmanititas in the Centre's original constitutional documents in 1451.
[08:23] DrTsega: Did you get all that?
[08:23] DrTsega: No? Okay, I'll break it down for you.
[08:26] DrTsega: I was part of a group known as the Selachian Punching Centre. An organization dedicated to fighting the menace that plagued our oceans. "We punch underwater so you can live on the land." That's what we used to say.
[08:27] DrTsega: I know what you're thinking.
[08:29] DrTsega: Yes. It was us keeping you safe the entire time. The Centre safeguarded mankind for centuries. Civilization as we knew it wouldn't have been possible if we weren't around. Our influence was unparalleled, extending to every level of every government, changing the course of world events, yet remaining a complete secret from everybody, which was really quite tricky.
Then, one day, the selachian menace disappeared. Our immediate reaction was one of disbelief, followed by euphoria, followed by raucous celebration. We danced. We drank ourselves stupid. We sang the songs of our forefathers. The orgies weren't officially sanctioned, of course, but boy howdy-doo were they tremendous.
Sadly, our revelry wasn't meant to last.
"DREAD PORPOISE COMMUNION", the Assembly called it. The prophesied gathering of every selachian, big or small. Every sharp, slimy, putrid horror that haunted our dreams, coming together in one place to bring about the end of all other life on our beautiful, green planet.
"But fear not," said our trusted Assembly. They told us that the human race would fight back. They said that when the selachians returned with their armies and squaloid murder-drones, we would be ready.
And they were right. We were ready. Thanks to SPC-001, we managed to get the entire human race fighting fit. At first people were alarmed when everyone started getting super ripped for no apparent reason, but then they realized it was awesome and the panic died down. Within a few months, every man, woman, and child was a lean, mean, punching machine. Even babies had abs you could wash your clothes on. It seemed like everything was going fine.
And that's how it went for the first couple of years: fine. Sure, boxing had to be outlawed once folks could punch with the same Newtonian force as your average car crash, and there were a few riots now and then over tank top shortages, but for the most part everything felt normal.
Year three, people started getting antsy. We had kept ourselves busy at the Centre by devising new weapons for selachian warfare, but every innovation felt hollow with a lack of anything to use them on. We grew listless. Surely the assault would begin any day, right?
Year four. There was an aura of dread hanging over the whole organization. I remember sitting in the Site-71 cafeteria, eating pickled cabbage and creamed corn salads with my comrades, when I finally heard someone ask aloud what we'd all wondered in the dark corners of our heads.
"What if they don't come back?"
It was Simmons who said that, of course. Of course. I kicked him in the face—a punch would have really hurt him—but the damage was done. It's a scary thought, losing your purpose in life. Faced with that kind of existential ennui, it's no wonder that everyone responded by flipping their shit. Hersberger screamed and started smearing her salad all over her face. Gertzler stabbed his fork tines into his cheek with no visible emotion. Bühler just broke down and cried until his tears turned to blood.
But Schwartzentruber was downright fuming. Started shouting all sorts of obscenities. Said he'd shove his fist down Simmons' throat and rip out his toenails from the inside. And Simmons was all defensive, "you all were thinking it" and that kind of stuff. The two kept going at it. We shouldn't have just sat there and watched, but no one thought fists would ever get involved. How could we have known?
I remember the entire cafeteria going silent. One moment, the two colleagues had been arguing. Next thing we knew, Schwartzentruber was wearing Simmons' face around his arm like a bracelet. Fist went straight through. Nobody knew what to say. Hersberger just picked the brain matter from her hair. There was no finishing our dinner after something like that.
We all tried to write it off as an isolated incident, an unhinged employee who forgot his own strength in a moment of pure emotion. That illusion was shattered when reports started coming in from the other sites. Similar incidents were happening all over the world, and within a few weeks it wasn't just limited to SPC personnel. These arms were made for punching, and that's just what they did.
As time went on, it became harder for us to fight the itch. Punching bags were laughable at that point, so instead we invented punching blocks out of a titanium-concrete composite. Even fashioned them into the shape of selachians to help take the pain away, but it still wasn’t enough. Whenever we came close to a cure, someone would end up atomizing the equipment with a flick of the wrist and we'd have to start over.
Eventually, one day I walked into the cafeteria and found the floor covered in what must have been two inches of blood. I thought maybe a pipe had burst until I saw Bühler sitting on a table in the corner. Guy was slathered in viscera from top to bottom, and he was wearing human heads around his arms like they were snap bracelets. I asked if he wanted to talk, but he didn't answer. He just stared at his fists and trembled. Then, in the blink of an eye, he was dead, hole in his beefy chest so big I coulda driven my Grampy's Volvo through it.
That was what broke me, I think. I had never seen someone self-pugilate before. I didn't know how many people were still alive in Site-71, but I knew that I would not perpetuate the carnage. I gathered some medical supplies from the surgical augmentations lab and tied a tourniquet around my burgeoning, well-defined bicep. Carefully, I injected myself with the nearest substance that resembled an anesthetic and bid my guns goodbye.
Screaming, writhing, I hacked off my arm using only a pair of rusty toenail clippers. Needless to say, I was dizzy from pain, blood loss, and the 5 CCs of green apple daiquiri I'd injected myself with, but somehow I managed to drag myself back to the cafeteria to cauterize my stump in the kitchen's oven. Barely clinging to consciousness, I set the oven to preheat, wrapped my stump in a tent of foil, and stuck it inside, turning regularly to promote an even cauter and applying a light baste to keep it moist.
When the bleeding stopped, I went back and repeated the process with my other arm. The second time was harder, I think. With no free hands remaining, I was forced to grip the toenail clippers with my teeth. I also ran out of baste. It was the most agonizing experience I could ever possibly fathom, but here I am. Alive. My cannonball deltoids still ripple with pugilistic vigor now and then, but the stubs are too short to be lethal.
And that's it. That's my story. That's how I ended up here, barricaded alone in an underground facility, typing on a keyboard with my tongue. I haven't been able to get in touch with any other Centre sites, and I can't leave the building. Every day I lose a little more hope. My personal hygiene has suffered, too—partly because I can't look at a pair of clippers without bursting into tears. My toenails are getting really long now. I'll probably have to use a pair of scissors or something. I could even use that electric carving knife I got for my birthday. Hell, I think there's a chainsaw in the supply closet. No shortage of options, really.
Even if I'm alive now, there's no telling how long that will last. Sometimes I hear people punching on the reinforced doors, desperate to break in and claim another victim to slake their drunken punchlust. Someday they may succeed. There's enough food left around to keep me going a while, though just for a while. I've kept my mind occupied and my spirits up by watching Dr. Cavender's Walking Dead box sets, but I can feel that post-Season-Six quality drop looming just around the corner.
Maybe this was their plan all along. Maybe they just left the planet, knowing full well we'd destroy ourselves. Maybe when the last human has passed their final breath, the selachians will return from wherever they went and feast on our tight, sculpted corpses. Or maybe they're happier where they are now. Maybe they're not coming back. I hope that's not the case. As much as it pains me to say it: I miss them.
I miss sharks.
[23:19] DrTsega: With all the squats I've been doing, I could probably pop their heads between my fucking thighs.
[23:20] DrTsega: pop 'em just like cherries. hell yeah
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swellwriting · 5 years ago
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tagged by @kabeswaters​ and @fortisfiliae​ love u both sm <3 <3
1. on a scale of 1-10, how excited are you about life right now? it fluctuates but right now -1 
2. describe yourself in a hashtag? #anxious
3. if you could do a love scene with anyone, who would it be? JAKE MOTHERFUCKING GYLLENHAAL 
4. if your life was a musical, what would the marquee say? i dont know what that is hah
5. what’s one thing people don’t know about you? i guess some people don’t know i’m type one diabetic??
6. what’s your wake up ritual? uh phone, animal crossing, fruit loops, weed
7. what’s your go to bed ritual? I watch asmr videos cuz im usually high as fuck and they knock me out lol, or i watch tiktok or pillow talk with my bf nick.
8. what’s your favorite time of day? like 9 pm?
9. your go to for having a good laugh? my boyfriend always makes me laugh no matter how angry or upset i am so i’d talk to him uwu
10. dream country to visit? FRANCe specifically Paris oui oui with my french candian bullshit
11. what’s the biggest surprise you’ve ever had? when they announced 5sos was touring with one direction and i had tickets, never screamed so loud in my LIFE
12. heels or flats/sneakers? sneakers duh
13. vintage or new? vintage babey
14. who do you want to write your obituary? ME from the great beyond, the only other person who knows me well enouhg is nick and i love him but he is very stupid.
15. style icon? uh harry styles, devon lee carlson, halsey, bella hadid, tyler the creator some normal people whos style i LOVE  from insta are rebeccaramsdale , kehllie , kikalateefff , yourgirlneens , lilxmg !
16. what are three things you cannot live without? phone, insulin, art, music
17. what’s one ingredient you put in everything? probs vanilla or hotsauce, the only two flavours.
18. what 3 people living or dead would you want to make dinner for? my dead brother DJ, kurt cobain andddd ryan dunn from jackass what a weird mix.
19. what’s your biggest fear in life? loosing my senses, loosing control, the fear that i am not actually real and ... oh spiders.
20. window or aisle seat? window 
21. what’s your current tv obsession? think its gonna be adventure time again
22. favorite app? instagram or discord so i can talk to my friends uwu
23. secret talent? i can speak french and giberish
24. most adventurous thing you’ve ever done in your life? camping i guess?
25. how would you define yourself in three words? anxious, empathetic, creative
26. favorite piece of clothing you own? my vintage star wars shirt
27. a must have clothing item that everyone should have? blank tees, good quality blank tees!!! white black grey mhmhmh
28. a superpower you would want? i’d wanna be spidergirl
29. what’s inspiring you in life right now? nothing at all :(
30. best piece of advice you’ve received? my grade six teacher telling me that i was very empathetic as i was sitting at the back of the class crying because of the movie we were watching, she told me not everyone is empathetic like i am but its okay to be soft. but not to expect that from everyone else.
31. best advice you’d give your teenage self? teenage me was a mess but not messy enough that i’d change anything. i’d just say, things get better but im currently back in the state teenage me was in so...i’d be lying. maybe that wanting to kill yourself does not count as a personality trait - and start reading comics earlier cuz u really like them.
32. a book everyone should read? i read wack books, everyone on tumblr should read fangirl tho
33. what would you like to be remembered for? something i created
34. how do you define beauty? self expression and individuality 
35. what do you love most about your body? wait people love their bodies? not everyone was severly damaged by online diet culture and thigh gap era tumblr? weird ok
36. best way to take a rest/decompress? weed or bath or a movie
37. favorite place to view art? there is an art gallery in saskatchewan that i love, i was suposed to go there this summer before corona took over :(((
38. if your life was a song, what would the title be? either something short like “mellow” or fob style like “im so anxiuos all the time and nothing ever feels real and i dont know what im doing but somehow im doing pretty good while feeling prety bad and laughing through my tears lol.” or i’d steal “teen idle” by marina and the diamonds.
39. if you could master one instrument, what would it be? guitar or piano because im lame at both.
40. if you had a tattoo, where would it be? i want two moths above my knees rn
41 dolphins or koalas? neither
42. what’s an animal that represents you? im more of a pokemon, i think id be jigglypuff
43. best gift you’ve ever received? whenever nick buys me clothes from stussy or maybe infinity on high on vinyl.
44. best gift you’ve given? i bought nick the entire sin city comic series in one giant book.
45. what’s your favorite board game? monopoly
46. what’s your favorite color? yellow
47. least favorite color? that weird pinky purple
48. diamond or pearls? pearls
49. drugstore makeup or designer? colour pop and fenty
50. pilates or yoga? yoga
51. coffee or tea? tea
52. what’s the weirdest word in the english language? pumpernickle is my fav one.
53. dark chocolate or milk chocolate? MILK
54. stairs or elevators? stairs
55. summer or winter? summer, canadian winters are brutal.
56. you are stuck on an island, you can pick one food to eat forever without getting tired of it, what would you eat? ur asking someone who has very specific comfort foods so i already do this - cheese bagel toasted with cream cheese and then toasted again to melt cheddar cheese on top. with a diet coke thats very important.
57. a dessert you don’t like? cheesecake 
58. a skill you’re working on mastering? im crazy so this is a lot but - writing , drawing and painting, polymer clay, sewing, resin art and pottery.
59. best thing to happen to you today? nothing
60. worst thing to happen to you today? the line at starbucks was too long and i had to get wendys instead, and a few other things i won’t mention.
61. best compliment you’ve ever received? whenever my mom says i remind her of my brother dj, when people say anything nice about my art or writing style. when people ask about my clothes. when my friend jess called me a “known softie” uwu
62. favorite smell? lavender
63. hugs or kisses? hugs
64. if you made a documentary, what would it be about? i’d talk about star wars for hours on end 
65. last piece of content you consumed that made you cry? of mice and men made me ball my fucking eyes out
66. lipstick or lipgloss? chapstickk
67. sweet or savory? sweet
68. girl crush? Zendaya
69. how do you know you’re in love? idk ive just always been in love with nick (since i was 15) before i even really knew what love was, i guess if the other person feels like home, you know ur doing something right.
70. a song you can listen to on repeat? nine in the afternoon by p!atd or a match into water by peirce the veil, over my head by fleetwood mac
71. if you could switch lives with someone for a day, who would it be? harry styles that mysterious fucker
72. what are you most excited for/about this time in your life? currently not looking forward to anything becase my life is super uncertain right now ha.. maybe the release of the chaos walking movie whenever that decides to happen.
tagging: i assume yall have been tagged in this already but just incase @beskarjedi @woakiees @bluemadcnna @carolinesbookworld  @theseuscmander and anyone else who wants to do this consider urself tagged.
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mikumutual · 5 years ago
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answers aa themed questions nobody asked because i’m cool and sexy
also i havent played the 5th or 6th games so
YOUR FAVOURITE…? 1. Favourite Ace Attorney game? honestly? phoenix wright ace attorney! everything’s fresh, there aren’t many weak characters, and the plot is remarkable (especially the fifth case). the whole trilogy is really good as one unit though 2. Favourite case? 1-4, 1-5, 2-4, and 3-5 are tied lol, i can’t make a decision to save my life. 2-1 is really really funny tho 3. Favourite defendant? as a defendant, lana skye. as a person, edgeworth 4. Favourite prosecutor? as a prosecutor, franziska von karma. as a person, edgeworth 5. Favourite ship? wrightworth obviously... ive probably put more thought into them over the last 3 years than any other ship 6. Favourite victim? probably mia fey or gregory edgeworth... but for non-relevant victims, neil marshall :( 7. Favourite murderer? shelly de killer, i LOVE that guy. but dee vasquez was very cool as well 8. Favourite assistant? maya fey!!!!!!!!!! but i like kay faraday a lot too (im so sorry ema) 9. Favourite witness? adrian andrews... or maybe iris? i mean i didn’t like iris but god what a person 10. Favourite quote? “It doesn't matter how many underhanded tricks a person uses... The truth will always find a way to make itself known. The only thing we can do is to fight with the knowledge we hold and everything we have. Erasing the paradoxes one by one... It's never easy... We claw and scratch for every inch. But we will always eventually reach that one single truth. This I promise you.” - Miles Edgeworth i made this one of my senior quotes :]
YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE…? 11. Least favourite Ace Attorney game? uh fucking apollo justice. literally what the hell was that 12. Least favourite case? turnabout visitor wasn’t very strong? i guess it’s fine as an intro, but it’s also wonky with the timeline of aai 13. Least favourite defendant? max galactica. he’s better in the anime though 14. Least favourite prosecutor? manfred von karma, obviously. i like every other prosecutor (who i know of) though, even winston payne is pretty funny in hindsight 15. Least favourite ship? “miles edgeworth/female oc”. there are a lot of bad ships though, mostly involving phoenix & his assistants. dont do that please 16. Least favourite victim? zak gramarye for kickstarting that shitty, shitty game 17. Least favourite murderer? again mvk... but also fucking frank sahwit LMAO 18. Least favourite assistant? i guess trucy 19. Least favourite witness? fuck everyone from turnabout big top unless it was the anime episode 20. Least favourite memory of Ace Attorney? repeatedly trying and failing to download the emulator for aai2 hbjsjhdb i eventually got it but someone had to send me the download fully pre-patched and i felt kinda useless DO YOU PREFER…? 21. Phoenix Wright or Apollo Justice? phoenix wright. fuck that “GOTCHA!” mechanic jesus christ 22. Maya Fey or Trucy Wright? maya fey. nothing personal against trucy but i just dont like aj hbjsdjhsdb also maya is really sweet and fun and she has the best sprites. she seems like she’d be a good friend, it’s too bad that she doesn’t have the time for them as a spirit medium and all :( if maya ema and kay got to hang out together itd be wild 23. Investigations or trials? trials are easier in my opinion because investigations have several things you could be doing without such a linear style, so if you miss something, you won’t really know until you wander around forever 24. College Phoenix or Hobo Phoenix? college feenie!!!!! he’s like trilogy feenie but more emotional and less witty. i like to pretend that hobo phoenix doesnt exist 25. Klavier Gavin or Kristoph Gavin? who would say kristoph 26. Ace Attorney or Ace Attorney Investigations? ace attorney but only because phoenix is in it lmao. im actually rewatching a playthrough of aai now, and playing aai2 at the same time, so while it is on the mind, i feel like the cases characters and mechanics - while loved - don’t hold up to the OGs 27. Apollo’s perceive, Phoenix’s magatama, or Athena’s Mood Matrix? i actually kinda like the mood matrix more than anything because it has a really good UI and the magatama is kinda grating. but FUCK the gotcha mechanic it is SO FUCKING STUPID and IMPOSSIBLE TO USE.  where is logic chess 28. Ace Attorney trilogy or Apollo Justice and Dual Destinies? you already know my answer to this one 29. 3D models or sprites? i do like the 3d models a lot but i like the original sprites more! imo original pixel sprites > 3D models > HD sprites. mostly bc the hd sprites are garbage (see here, here, and here) 30. Ema Skye as she is in Rise from the Ashes or Ema Skye as she is in Apollo Justice? rfta !!!!!! shes actually really nice as an assistant, esp considering the fact that we actually see her interact with her sister, which is something maya didn’t have very often. also her random appearance in aai was well appreciated by me
MISCELLANEOUS 31. Did you like what they did to Phoenix in Apollo Justice?
NO I AM SO FUCKING MAD WHY WOULD THEY DO THAT TO HIM ISN’T HE A LAWYER WHY COULD HE NOT JUST DEFEND HIMSELF FROM THE FACT THAT HE “FORGED EVIDENCE” IT WASN’T EVEN HIS IN THE FIRST PLACE SOMEBODY ELSE FORGED IT AND HE DIDN’T KNOW THAT, MANFRED VON KARMA GOT AWAY WITH A FUCKLOAD OF NONSENSE AND SO DOES EVERY OTHER LAWYER SO WHY IS IT THAT PHOENIX CAN SURVIVE EATING A POISONED GLASS NECKLACE AND GETTING HIT OVER THE HEAD WITH A FIRE EXTINGUISHER AND FALLING FROM A BURNING BRIDGE INTO A RUSHING RAVINE AND BEING HIT BY A CAR BUT HE CAN’T FUCKING DEFEND HIMSELF LIKE HE DOES IN EVERY OTHER CASE BECAUSE THAT’S THE POINT OF THE GAME AND ALSO HIS ENTIRE CHARACTER
32. Your opinion on Dai Gyakuten Saiban? haven’t played it! it looks pretty cool though
33. Do you think Dai Gyakuten Saiban and/or Miles Edgeworth Investigations 2 will get localised to the West? doubt it, since the creators have said that it won’t be. but the fan translations are pretty good, so i think it’s okay
34. Do you think Miles Edgeworth should get another Investigation-game or do you think another character deserves a spin-off? i mean he already has two, so i guess he doesn’t need another? like i love edgeworth but he’s not as fun without phoenix around. ngl i would play a franziska game. or a maya game, or any spinoff revolving around a side character. hell i’d play hotti game if it meant it took place in the trilogy era
35. Opinion on the soundtrack of the Ace Attorney-franchise? REALLY good. really really good. i love how each game of the trilogy has different composers but each track has the same theme and feel!!!
36. Do you like where the franchise is heading or did you prefer the atmosphere in the original trilogy? seriously absolutely completely prefer the trilogy. i’m sorry but the rush of youth and trust is way, way more enjoyable than whatever “i’m 35 and therefore middle aged” nonsense is happening in the 2020s
37. Capcom suddenly announces that Phoenix will no longer appear in the Ace Attorney franchise! Your reaction? He’s been replaced by Penny Nichols. Fuck you.
38. Capcom suddenly announces that the Ace Attorney franchise has ended for good! Your reaction? it was me i ended it
39. Would you like there to be another Ace Attorney/Professor Layton crossover game? i didnt play it but i really like the idea!!!!!! aa crossover games are really funny to me, i mean have you seen edgeworth in project x zone 2, lmao
40. Would you like an Ace Attorney anime? we have one now! honestly i don’t think it did a very good job of representing the cases, but it did do a good character remix of turnabout big top so that they’re not creepy anymore. they also did a really good job with the anime-specific cases, like the one on the train! it feels a lot better paced when it’s intended for that medium rather than just adapted.  also the childhood episodes made me cry
41. Opinion on anime cutscenes in Ace Attorney? like in 5 and 6? mm, the art style is kinda weird, and i don’t really like the voices, but i guess not everything can be pachinko and prozd
42. Would you want to play an Ace Attorney game where you take on the prosecutor’s role? YEAH ACTUALLY!!!!!! it might be kinda weird being on the right side of the screen though lmao
43. Do you like having DLC in Ace Attorney-games? uhhh i hate having to buy extra things, but i’ll admit that they are pretty funny
44. Opinion on Lamiroir’s storyline? i only played aj so if shes in other games idk but i thought she was fine
45. One thing you think the Ace Attorney games can improve on? stop having creepy characters please. also jesus christ if phoenix and edgeworth arent wearing rings in aa7 i will become the ceo of capcom myself
46. Capcom suddenly announces an Ace Attorney movie! Would you like it to be based on an already existing case or would you like an all new storyline? i mean the musical did a pretty good job of adapting existing cases, so it might as well be new. it would be kinda hard to balance the games’ timeline & character development without being repetitive or an au
47. Capcom suddenly announces an Ace Attorney movie! Would you prefer it being live-action, 3D animated or 2D animated? stylized 2D animation, probably? i would want it to feel more like into the spiderverse than an anime, though. in my dream ace attorney movie, they’d just need a high art budget, several plausible deniability wrightworth scenes, and prozd to voice edgeworth
48. If there could be an Ace Attorney crossover with whatever franchise you’d like, which one would you choose? (Does not need to be a video-game franchise) your turn to die is probably closest in characterization, although its premise is more “locked in a room” than the open-world investigation of aa
49. Opinion on recurring witnesses? (Wendy Oldbag, Lotta Hart, Larry Butz, etc.) honestly, i like them a lot! i don’t know why people hate them so much - i mean, i know lotta lied, and wendy is a horrible old flirt, and larry just kinda sucks all around. but they’re also pretty funny to have around! larry is a constant comic relief who reminds you how much better nick & edgey are in comparison, lotta is likeable as a general character (like in 2-4, although yeah, not remarkable), and wendy oldbag is really funny. she’s so fucking funny. none of you appreciate wendy oldbag’s quirks and you are SLEEPING ON IT!!!!!!!!!!!!
50. Do you think Dual Destinies deserved its M-rating? no idea, holy shit, it got an m-rating? i mean every game before it has had blood violence and very mild swearing, and since DD probably doesnt have anything too sexually risqué, i doubt it deserves a rating any harsher than the rest of the series
okay thanks thats all
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redwoodrroad · 5 years ago
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so..... now that halloween is coming up (specifically for guild wars 2), theres something that’s been on my mind, especially lately. theres always been this confusion about joko’s age and how long he’s Really been around
obviously he hasnt been around since the primevals, and last year we had the opportunity to track down joko memorabilia, and a bunch of documents were put into the trophy cabinet in the mad king’s labyrinth. within that cabinet, we then learned that joko must have actually grown up around the same time as thorn, from this page from.... his diary.... which i love lol
that said, there’s something still really odd in my mind because looking at the official timeline,
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this makes it seem like he predates oswald by several decades--assuming the mad king was in his 50s-60s (maybe 70s at the latest?) when he dies--because let’s assume joko was an adult by the time he builds the Bone Palace (assuming he did build it; i’ll get to that): if he’s even in his 20s to build the palace, that means he was born somewhere around 730 AE--and if he was (likely) a teenager when he went to Kryta to hang out with oswald, likely around the same age, that would mean oswald is 95 when he’s killed in 825. that isnt even including the possibility that joko is already a lich by the time he erects the bone palace, and why would joko decide to become a lich while he’s still so young, like you’d figure he’d become a lich to prolong his life once he reaches the point where mortality based on age has started coming into question
im gonna put the rest of this under the cut to spare my followers who dont wanna read about all this but please lmk what you think if you wanna read the rest!!
so this is where i get a little lost and wonder if joko is even as old as the writers say he is. and maybe im getting the math wrong here, or i might not have the right grasp on the passage of time, but to me, it feels entirely possible that joko built the bone palace WAY later and destroyed / got rid of any evidence that would place the event at the actual year
remember: he’s likely an adult AND a lich already when he has it built (and maybe theres no reason for me to assume he’s a lich by then; it just feels like all the more power to him if he has the ability to literally control people into building it without asking questions), and ALSO remember that AFTER he invaded elona in 860, he “updated” the bone palace to include centaur skeletons
if he builds the bone palace and decides soon after that he wants to include the bones of centaurs, he has every opportunity to claim that the bone palace was there for much longer than it really has been, and this new construction is just “an update.” who’s gonna dispute that??? anyone who says “wait a minute, this wasnt here 100 years ago, i helped you build it last week!!” is gonna get thrown in the junundu hatchery to get eaten
not to mention--no one lives in the southern part of the Desolation. it’s also entirely possible that joko shut down any transit between vabbi and the central / northern part of the desolation in 860 just to build the bone palace, and no one even noticed whether it was there or not until it was there. plus, anyone who tries to say it definitely wasnt built before that century will just be hushed by authorities. and as for the djinn at Sand Jackal Run, what do they care what this twink lich does with his time lol they dont give a shit, who are they gonna gossip to about some gaudy palace next door
and here i wanna say that i think another possibility is that joko didnt originally build the bone palace at all--it could have really been built in 757 by an architect or ruler who had their own idea of why they wanted it there, and maybe joko just swoops in later around 860, liked how it looked, and wanted it for himself. he claimed it for his own and then thought it was missing something, so he Really made it his own by covering it in the bones of centaurs--and then, when anyone asks about that palace, he just says, “oh i built it in 757, but i updated it 100 years later, dont worry about it.”
i think this is equally as likely as my first suggestion, and it definitely doesnt change why i think this is interesting--and it’s INTERESTING to me because i think it’s pretty sus that the official date for the bone palace having been built is 63 years before the mad king is killed, and to me, i just think there’s no way the mad king made it to his 90s before he’s mauled by angry krytans--OR that joko might have been so much older than him, especially if they engaged in little pun wars while joko was visiting kryta.
i mean, with that assumption, we would have to say that joko was.... in his 20s? 30s? when he meets thorn for the first time? because if we assume now that joko really does build the bone palace in 757, but thorn dies in his... lets say 60s.... thorn would have been born between 755 and 765. but if joko built the bone palace even while thorn was an infant, it would sort of place joko at a place in his life where he wouldnt need to be dragged around by his mother. if he’s capable enough to build a palace, what would he be doing letting his diplomat mother take him to kryta--she has no sway over him once he has that kind of power, and joko doesnt exactly make himself notable as a mama’s boy--and beyond even that, if joko’s really an adult while visiting kryta, why would he--a 20- or 30-year-old man--be hanging out with.... a ten year old. or even a 16-year-old? why would he be playing little games with him?? because ALSO REMEMBER: thorn was NOT the only child to his ruling parents! he HAD an older brother--Ewan! if joko would be hanging out with anyone around that time if he was that age--and this decisively BEFORE oswald kills ewan because he kills ewan After the elonian diplomatic visit--it would have been Ewan.
all im saying--and maybe someone else has come to this conclusion or posted about it already, so im really sorry if im echoing a point that has already been made--is that joko is known for manufacturing lies about himself and his history of ruling; he has every opportunity to fabricate when the bone palace was built to further solidify himself as a long-ruled king just the same as when he claimed he was the last of the primeval dynasty.
the only DIFFERENCE between that and this suggestion is that the official historians likely have no idea either way when the bone palace was really built or by whom, and i think that’s really saying something! this is what ive really been trying to get to: the uncertainty of whether that palace was built in 757 or not, or if it was even built by joko’s people at all--that level of uncertainty about a major event is something we in the real world are sort of accustomed to seeing, but in this game where we have an official timeline set up--paired with the in-game confirmation that there are those in the world who purposefully muck up said timeline for personal gain--the conception of a major architectural feat is completely up in the air! plus..... if it really is the case that this event is inaccurately noted, then what other events in tyrian history have been officially but inaccurately noted? i think this calls a lot of things into question, even if we cant say for sure what events could be inaccurate or falsely represented.
MAYBE no one else cares about this, so that’s fine, but i just keep thinking about it, and i wanted to get my thoughts out there. let me know what you think if you read all of this hoosafudge because in-game history stuff is fascinating to me, and i think it says a lot about the world these characters are living in.
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zroeriws-blog · 5 years ago
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Would removing state control also be buying a insurance covers the most?? both companies are asking to check the car can they still get in Personal finance...could someone from the dealer... thanks! the scion tc and good and affordable health Good or bad, I d reps that they wont Liability insurance on a have a job or insurance is cheap for claims or experience when But i don t know liscence points deleted from the not at fault please? I m from New they want to charge for my situation? All that because of may for car insurance. It I am thinking of Im covered under full can get insured on Can someone recommend a has an a average http://www.carfolio.com/specifications/models/car/?car=131516&Nissan-quote Nissan s-cargo this I m on my mom s body kit cost alot good places I can new car and so Why is car insurance please let me know Rs 350000/- & i something a LOT less they can give you disability,life,homeowners,car,umbrella California, I live in .
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harryseyebrows · 6 years ago
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you can absolutely ignore this message if it's too personal, but at what point in your life did you figure out you probably weren't straight and how did you go about exploring with your sexuality? I know I'm attracted to men but since the age of 16 I've also known I'm attracted to women, I've just never pursued it. What uhh do I do
uhhh i feel like i was kinda socialized under the assumption that girls (heavily implied Straight Girls bc when actual gay girls like girls its like.. not as cool lol) are allowed to find other girls hot? so ive always felt comfortable thinking that other girls are pretty/have a nice body etc. and i didnt really think further than that? in high school i was involved mainly with one guy (who was an asshole) but ive come to realize that i was always justifying my ~attraction to him in my own head? i liked the attention he gave me rather than me actually Liking Him, ya know? and i remember thinking to myself that if/when i was put in a position where sex was on the table, it was have to be under very specific circumstances. like the idea of doing anything with him more than kissing was absolutely terrifying, and it was just as terrifying in practice. which is not to say that new experience, regardless of sexuality, are not terrifying, but i think this was a lil different lol it wasn’t until after high school and into college where it was on here that i started following more bi and lesbian girls, and then i found myself almost exclusively following bi and lesbian girls, and it just felt really safe and nice and right. idk. i just go to thinking about some things, and its dicey. i really had to parce out what attraction was in a completely new framework that didnt involve men? which is (through comp het) taught to us whether we realize it or not. and it went from ‘oh i want to look like her’ to ‘oh... i just like the way she looks and would like to touch her’ which is... a real gray area sometimes lol your sexuality is only for you to decide and interpret. there is no right or wrong way to do it. we can share experiences with people and thats often helpful (i know that for me, hearing and reading what other people have to say about themselves has helped me a lot, knowing that how i feel and have felt is not something im alone in), but at the end of the day, how you want to feel and how you might want to act on things or not act on things is entirely down to you ♥♥♥
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chroniclecollective · 3 years ago
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8, 13, 16, 17, 32 for the sys asks !
hey thank u for sending some numbers in, completely forgot we reblogged that ask game lol. here u go
8. do you all share a fashion sense? are there fights about picking up an outfit?
➪ earlier on when we switched consistently/daily, it would bounce between crop tops and skirts to t shirts and jeans. now we all just kinda vibe with whatever clothes we own currently. someone may pick a certain shirt bc they view it as "theirs" but all in all its all our clothing. no fights rlly abt outfits though, but sometimes theres judgement on what we picked lol
13. any fictive/introject headmates?
➪ theres quite a few but ive (lee, btw im an introject lol) realized a good handful of them are introjects of ppl in our lives (abusers mainly), but we also have fictives. i dont personally like seperating the two since theyre both introjects.
16. are you working with a professional about your multiplicity? if not, would you ever want to try? (assuming it's all free easily accessible etc)
➪ we havent seen a professional and spoken about our multiplicity since 2015-2016, the last time one of us mentioned it to our last therapist in 2020 ignored her and went on to explain how the disorder works when weve known for years and have been seeing this guy since 2016. we dont see him anymore, and were currently in the process of getting a new therapist that specializes in dissociative disorders and ptsd. its been a long time coming to say the least
17. any headmates with different disabilities than the host?
➪ not that i know of??? i dont think so.
32. if you can't draw, what do you use to represent your headmates? picrew, avatar makers, face claims or something else?
➪ weve used picrew before and in the past have used pinterest to find faceclaims/images that are as close as we can get to ourselves, but all in all we rlly dont tend to focus on representations of ourselves that much unlike how we used to. were focused more on healing and getting the help we need, not focusing heavily on how different we look from one another
thanks for asking these !! i missed answering questions like these so i may reblog the ask game again
- lee
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silentauroriamthereal · 7 years ago
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Okay, so this is extremely long, but my good friend @ravenmorganleigh tagged me in this a few days ago, and I would never refuse her. I’ll put most of it under a cut! This was very interesting to answer! 
1. What was your first fic and could you stand to reread it today?
Ooof, that’s a big ask! My very first fic was a Harry/Snape (yes, I know, groan away!) and the fact that I haven’t re-read it in well over a decade is suggestive that I never will, lol. I couldn’t even remember what it was called, so I just looked it up. It’s called Things Change (not linking it, sorry!!) and it was posted on skyehawke.com after fanfiction.net banned me in September of 2004. Lol. It’s still there, along with all of my other Harry Potter fic (of which there is over 1.4 million words).
2. What’s your most recent fic and how far do you think you’ve come?
I just posted Out of the Woods yesterday, which is an intentionally light-hearted story. My last serious one is the one I wrote just before it, The Clouded Eye, and I would say that between these and my earliest stuff, there is a significant gap in quality, yes. :P
3. In your opinion, what’s your best fic?
That’s honestly impossible to say. It depends what you’re judging on. For intricacy of plot, clearly my novel, Against the Rest of the World. For sheer fixing for series 4, which is a herculean task to explain, fill in the gaps logically, and then actually make it palatable, I would give it to the fix-it that most clearly addresses the most issues with series 4 – the Holmes family history, Eurus’ existence in general, Sherlock’s memory problems, Mary’s wholly unbelievable and unsatisfactory death, the practical issues with the entire concept of John and Sherlock having a child at 221B, etc – and that fic is Hell Hath No Fury. It’s a bittersweet ending, and honestly the most realistic I can see after that disastrous series. For sheer levels of how much it explains and delves into, I’m very pleased with it. For depth and intricacy of emotion, my personal vote goes to The Wisteria Tree. For pure porn, it has to be Best of Three. For one of my overall personal favourites, Bridging the Ravine. 
4. In your opinion and without looking at any numbers, what’s your most popular fic?
Far and away it’s Best of Three, which is rapidly closing in on 100,000 hits, probably the only work of mine that will ever achieve this milestone.
Putting the rest under a cut! 
5. Is there any fic that makes you super happy to reread and remember you wrote that?
I’m equally proud of all of my stories, for different reasons.
6. Is there any fic that makes you super embarrassed to reread and remember you wrote that?
Nah. I’m frankly proud of the silly ones and as to the early stuff, everyone has to start somewhere!
7. What’s the fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?
I have no unfinished stories at the moment. I just finished one, so I’m officially between projects. That will probably last for all of 2-3 days and then I’ll start something new.
8. What’s the oldest (longest since last update) fic you most want to continue (unfinished or no)?
Not applicable; I always finish my stories.
9. Have you ever written for a fandom without watching/reading/playing the source material?
No, and no offense, but I find that entire concept ridiculous and rather disrespectful to the source material. Even when I disagree with the canon, I have legions of respect for it.
10. Have you ever written for a fandom without reading other fanfic for it?
Yes, I have exactly one Star Wars fic (though I think I took it down for some reason, years ago) and one Lord of the Rings fic, and I still have never read any fic for those fandoms other than my own.
11. Have you ever written a fic for a concept you know someone else has done before? How did it impact your writing process or feelings after posting?
Only once, at least knowingly: after writing three long series 4 fix-it fics (A Case For Domestic Propinquity, Hell Hath No Fury, and From the Bottom of the Well), I decided that I wanted to finally give in and write a well-known trope, and wrote a fake-couple-for-a-case fic (Bridging the Ravine), which is now up there as one of my favourite fics of my own collection. Happily, I have a personal policy that I don’t read other people’s stories while writing my own, as a deliberate attempt to keep myself free of influence. The downside is that I miss out on probably a lot of good fic. For this trope, I’d only ever read one or two stories that would fit that description and they were literal years ago, so I don’t remember any of their details and didn’t want to. I make a pretty strong effort to not just reproduce the same ideas that other people have already done, which is a tricky thing to do in a fandom that has a lot of similar ideas and desires for the final results (aka, Sherlock and John getting together). I really do try very hard, though! This particular story also contains way more original characters than any other I’ve ever written, many of whom have developed enough backstories to work as stand-alone characters in their own stories and I’m proud of that, too! There are 24 in total!
12. Have you ever written a fic and decided never to publish it? Why?
No. There are story ideas I’ve refused to let myself write, though. Or several that I’ve sat on for months in trying to refuse to write, like my first Freebatch fic. I have mixed feelings about Real Person Fic and tried very hard to suppress the urge to write The A.G.R.A. Complex, and managed to keep myself from doing it for nine months. But then I caved. For the few I’ve refused to write, either it’s been because the concept itself made me sad, or it centred around an unpopular sexual kink, or some other reason like that. But generally, if I want to write something, I’ll just write it, and if I write it, I’ll post it.
13. What’s the biggest change between your style when you started in fandom and today?
I wouldn’t say that there’s been a huge change. I wrote more chaptered stories in the beginning, but I’m very busy and the stress of updating regularly is too much for me right now. I found my stride in the long novella. I strongly prefer the single-chapter format, but if it’s over 40,000 words, I’ll make myself break it up into chapters. The last WIP I posted as I wrote it was Against the Rest of the World, which I wrote over four months in the fall of 2013, leading up to the release of series 3 – in fact, I finished it two days before TEH aired! I was updating on average every six days, and some of those chapters were over 10,000 words long. It was a strain to keep it up, honestly – it meant that I was writing around the clock, day and night. It was the first thing I would do in the morning and the last thing I would do at night. I would come home on breaks at work to write, or take my laptop with me. I lived and breathed that story for four months. It’s told in first person voice (Sherlock’s POV), too, so it meant that I had Sherlock’s voice in my head at all times for four months. I missed him when it was over.
14. What’s the biggest change in your taste between when you started in fandom and today?
I wouldn’t say that there’s been one. I’m always trying to go further and further into the characters, their feelings, their experiences, and relate them so that the reader can ideally not just watch the story unfolding, but feel everything that the POV character is feeling at the same time. One can always go deeper, and I will never stop trying. Obviously different stories call for a heavier or lighter touch that way, but you get the drift.
15. Have you ever purposefully written one fandom/fic idea over another because you knew it’d be more popular?
No. I write the stories that come to me. I never write aiming for popularity. Though of course, I paradoxically always hope that my stories will be! But I never think, “Hmm, what would the fandom market really go for?” I just write the stories that I feel I need to tell.
16. Have you ever stopped writing a fic/for a fandom because it wasn’t receiving enough attention?
Never. I think that’s lame.
17. In your opinion, what’s your most overrated fic?
My most popular, Best of Three! Similar to Bridging the Ravine, I wrote this one after I’d written my initial big trio of series 3 fix-it fics (Deductions of a Lesser Mind, Act IV, and Vena Cava), and just needed to take a break and write something lighter. I wrote the entire thing in under 24 hours. I get why it’s popular – the combination of humour, sheer smut, nod to The Three Garridebs, and then the twist of romance at the end is a fairly unbeatable combination, but at the time I was indignant by its popularity, honestly! I’ve written many, many better, less popular stories. What can you do? Over time, I’ve stopped being exasperated and just rejoiced in Best of Three’s popularity.
18. What’s your most underrated fic?
Ha! That’s so subjective! I really can’t answer that. Instead, I’ll just list some stories of mine that I’ve been very proud of and sometimes wish people would read more: Hell Hath No Fury (again, very proud of this one for its sheer amount of fixing), A Satellite Out of Orbit (this is a companion story to Where My Demons Hide that features Sherlock’s visits to Ella, set just before and during TLD, but also extending to after the point where the original story stops – not compliant with TFP, as both stories were written before it aired, but I’m still proud of them both!), Munich (probably less read because it’s an established relationship, which tends to be less popular), The Legacy of Martha J. Hudson (this one is SUPER sad and I’m not surprised that people have shied away from it, but I still think it’s worth the read! Good for when you need a cry? Because, as the title heavily implies, Mrs Hudson dies in it), Pater Noster (a rather dark fix-it, wherein Mary’s first job was to kill John’s father – I was looking for a reason that Mary thought that John really wouldn’t love her anymore that was that much worse than her trying to kill Sherlock!), The Final Proof (this is even sadder than the Mrs Hudson story – it’s a retirement fic wherein Sherlock dies, then John dies at the end, too. Everyone who has read it has cried (seriously, like 98%) but also said that they found it really beautiful, so - ?). 
19. If you had to pick one fic/scene/chapter of your work to describe your entire portfolio to a stranger, which would you pick?
Well, that’s easy! (Note: it’s not!) Possibly Vena Cava.
20. Have/Would you ever rewrite a fic? If yes, would you take the original down?
No, I wouldn’t rewrite a fic. What’s done is done. Although there are always the typos I missed the first time around. :P
21. If someone starts kudosing and commenting your fics in a spree and has a few works of their own, would you go look through theirs?
Only if I weren’t working on something of my own at the time, which almost never happens. What I really don’t like is when someone reads something of mine and then obligates me to then read something of theirs in turn. It makes me uncomfortable and I find it a bit rude. When I discover that a regular commenter also writes, then I will often make an effort to seek out their work when I’m between stories, but I hate having it pushed on me.
22. Has there ever been anyone who’s made you freak out because they read your work and followed/favorited/reviewed?
Yes, but not in this fandom.
23. What’s the nicest review you’ve ever gotten?
Impossible to say. I’ve been graced with some of the best, most thoughtful readers/commenters in the universe!!
24. What’s the meanest review you’ve ever gotten? Do you think the reviewer intended it?
I don’t like to focus on these, but I’ve received numerous death threats for my portrayals of Mary, especially back in 2014 (the year series 3 aired) when even Johnlockers still liked her. That only changed within the past year or two! Disliking Mary was an extremely unpopular stance at first. I received a number of these as comments on stories, particularly after I disabled anonymous asks here on tumblr. For a long time, one specific Mary stan kept on reading my stuff and leaving me hate. I really wondered why they kept reading my stuff when it obviously was never going to be what they wanted to see. Note to haters out there: that’s a piss poor persuasion technique. As to my writing itself, no, not really. When I started writing fanfic in 2004, in the world of Harry Potter, one of the worst things a reviewer could call a fic was “fluffy”. The meaning of this term has changed significantly in the past 14 years, but what it meant then was that it was a story seriously lacking in real substance, OOC as hell, and badly written. While these days it tends to me “romantic, light-hearted, heart-warming, sweet”, etc, it still makes me wince any time someone calls a story of mine “fluffy” for that reason.
25. What constructive criticism, however well-meaning, always makes you feel bad when you see it in a review?
I wouldn’t say that there’s one aspect that gets commented on in a regular way. Though @totallysilvergirl beta-read my novel and pointed out a specific thing I do in terms of sentence structure, but it never made me feel badly to have it pointed out.
26. What aspect of your writing do you most enjoy to see praised?
I’m always glad to hear when someone liked the main POV, and I tend to get that compliment the most when it’s a Sherlock POV. I’m also always pleased when people comment on how much a story made them feel – that’s really what I’m going for! Also, in Against the Rest of the World, I spent hours and hours on background research – locations in particular, but also things like local architecture, shipping routes and times, flight times, time zones, language, etc, so I’m always pleased when someone comments on that level of detail in that story.
27. If you could only ever write crossovers or single-fandom fics ever again, which would you pick?
Single fandom, all the way. I’m not a fan of crossovers or AU’s. I’ve written exactly two crossovers in my time. One was a Harry/Draco story in which Draco nominates Harry for the old TLC show What Not To Wear, to Harry’s fury. I had fun with that. The other, and this is pure crack now, was one of my earliest stories, a Darth Vader/Voldemort crossover. Though it isn’t actually a crossover, as DV was Harry in Polyjuice. It was very silly.
28. if you could only ever write for a single crossover or a single fandom again, which would you pick?
Single fandom, again.
29. Does the division of your writing across fandoms line up with your reading? What’s the biggest discrepancy?
Not applicable here; I only write for one fandom at a time. JKR turned me off Harry Potter with the ridiculous epilogue on book 7 and then her attempts to include more “canon” information in her interviews. It annoyed me hugely – but mostly it was the epilogue, which was (deliberately, most of us thought at the time) extremely difficult to write around, though I tried it for a few stories. When I finished that (my last HP story was posted in 2010, but it had been a year since the one prior), I thought I was finished with writing and with fandoms in general. Then I discovered Benedict Cumberbatch in May of 2013, and through him, Sherlock. By the time I was on ASIB, I knew with a sinking feeling that I was simply going to have to write this fandom, too. Lol. I posted the first chapter of my first fic on June 15th, 2013.
30. Do you continue to write for a fandom after you’ve moved on or do you focus solely on the new one?
History would show that I focus strictly on the new one. The only exceptions to strictly Sherlock have been my four Freebatch stories (The A.G.R.A. Complex, Having Your Cake, Always Through the Changing, and A Room with a View).
31. Who’s the one character you’ve just never managed to get perfectly right?
No one, I hope. I’ve written a large number of the characters in the Sherlock universe, including (in approximate order of frequency): Sherlock, John, Mycroft, Lestrade, Mary, Molly, Janine, Ella, Mrs Hudson, and Sally Donovan. Sherlock and John are my favourites to write, Mary and Molly my least favourites.
32. Who’s the one character who shines without you even trying?
Sherlock, absolutely. He’s where my heart lives. That said, some of my favourite stories of my own are John POV’s.
33. Is there any particular character whose scenes always wind up being longer/more frequent than you expected? Does the quality hold up?
No.
34. Was there any fic that you wrote that really surprised you in the fandom reaction? Was it just by the numbers or did they take it an entirely different way?
The first time I wrote a Mary POV (Moving on/Making do), I was honestly afraid that I’d made her too relatable, too likeable, but the people who read the story still disliked her. Ha! And again, the sheer popularity of Best of Three always surprised me.
35. Have you ever written a ship into a fic without meaning to?
Yes, I never meant to ship Harry/Draco, but it just happened.
36. Have you ever sincerely written a ship you do not support into a fic?
Yes, for the necessity of canon compliancy, I’ve written John/Mary, which I loathe.
37. Have you ever purposefully bashed a character/ship in a fic?
No. I do my very best to portray the characters as I see them in canon. There are definitely people who would said that I have bashed Mary in my stories, and I respectfully and thoroughly disagree. Mary is canonically: an assassin who killed for the highest bidder, meaning that she killed without principle, for nothing other than money. Personal gain. Gross. She’s also someone who cut and run, leaving at least half of her team alive to be killed or tortured without even checking to see if there was any possibility of rescuing them. She displayed the same urge to run away and leave John behind later, too. I find this distasteful and cowardly in the extreme. On top of this, she canonically gaslights and belittles John, which is emotionally abusive behaviour, yet “playfully” insults both him and Sherlock on an ongoing basis (“I’m not John; I can tell when people are lying” – two insults with one comment!). She displays incredible entitlement after she attempts to murder John’s best friend and doesn’t seem to think that she should need to apologise for what she did, nor that John had the right to be incredibly angry with her over it. She also showed zero signs of remorse for any of her behaviour, past or present – lying to John, anything and everything she did in her deeply criminal past, etc. When people comment and say, “I loved your evil Mary!”, my typical response is “do you mean canon!Mary?” because that’s all I’ve ever tried to write. The ONE exception I will make here is my story Scars, which is a deliberate attempt to extrapolate from Mary’s canonical gaslighting and show where that behaviour typically leads. I did my homework and consulted two therapists who work specifically with men who have been abused by women for this story, and both confirmed that they saw Mary’s behaviour as gaslighting and abusive, too. I wrote this story partly to combat the then-popular notion that Mary and John displayed “playful banter” or “bickering” at the beginning of HLV, when I saw it as clearly one-sided and not at all playful. I still don’t consider this “bashing”, however.
38. Have you ever purposefully written something you know your readers would find uncomfortable/would not enjoy? If yes, why?
Yes, the above story. Why? Because it was a story I felt had to be told. Also: The Final Proof (the one where Sherlock dies of old age), which I knew would make people cry. Again: I write what the muses prompt me to write!
39. Do you consider yourself to have a readership?
Yes, I’m very lucky to have a huge readership and it’s wonderful! (Thank you!!!!!) I don’t have any specifics on the numbers in this fandom, but when I was writing HP fic, someone wrote her doctoral dissertation on HP fanfic and she collected stats from the various archives that were active at the time, then contacted the twenty most read authors in the fandom. To my shock at the time, I was apparently the eighth most read author in the slash fandom (male/male fic), though I was far from being the eighth most popular!! She estimated my readership at close to 200,000 readers. This was HP, though, the biggest fandom in history. I don’t imagine that my readership is anywhere near that here in Sherlock-land.
40. Do you feel like you put out enough content?
Um, yes. I’m now close to 1.9 million words over 78 stories. I write constantly, when I have the time to do so. Occasionally a commenter will say something like, “write more, please!” and while I know it’s meant as encouragement, it can also feel slightly exasperating. I honestly don’t see how I could humanly be producing MORE. But I try. :P
41. If you cross-post your fics on multiple sites, do you have a favorite? Are there certain fics you would only post on certain site?
I only use ao3 these days.
42. How many views has your most popular fic gotten?
As I said, Best of Three is closing in on 100,000 hits now.
43. Your least popular?
My least-read story would have to be my most recently posted, which I wouldn’t consider my least popular by a long shot. That’s honestly difficult to identify because of course one has to consider the length of time a story has been posted. It’s not fair to consider a story posted yesterday against a story that’s been up for four years. But the newest story has about 2,000 hits at the moment.
44. Do you follow/favorite/kudos/comment/review more stories than you have received?
Thanks to my readership, I don’t think that would be possible.
45. If you had to call yourself an author of a single genre (besides fanfic) what label would you give yourself?
I really only have one major work that isn’t fanfic, which is the original novel that I’m still working on getting published (and by “still working on”, I mean that I haven’t had time to work on this since July or so, whoopsie). Its technical genre definition is spy thriller, so let’s go with that! It’s loosely based on Against the Rest of the World with a dash of Vena Cava, a spy thriller with a gay romantic subplot.
46. Do you consider yourself a diverse author?
Yes. While my stories typically come to a similar result, I think they all get there in noticeably different ways! I’ve written amnesia, hurt/comfort, disability, many different character POV’s, gentle romances, heavy angst, deathfic, retirement fic, thrillers, fix-its, addiction (more in HP), magic (HP again), long novels, short sketches, character sketches, silly stuff, dark stuff. If you look at my stories chronologically, you will see a pattern of dark-light-dark-light – if I’ve just written a heap of angst, I’ll typically switch it up and write something lighter, or a different character voice, or a completely new idea (such as the Mary/Molly pairing in The Clouded Eye), etc. I do try to keep it fresh!
47. If someone you know in real life who isn’t involved in fandoms asked to read your work, would you let them? If yes, what would you recommend they read first?
Only if they were already familiar with the canon and open to reading graphic male/male sex, and that limits most of the population that isn’t already in the fandom.
48. Does anyone you know from outside of fandom know you write fanfic? Are they involved in the same fandom too?
A few people know. I’m very careful about who I tell.
49. Has anyone in your life ever read your fanfic just because you wrote it?
My mother. :) She reads all of my stories. We have a very good relationship!
50. Has writing fanfic had a significant impact on your life? Would you say it’s entirely positive?
Yes, it’s had a huge impact on my life. It’s been my secret other life since 2004, with a 3-4 year hiatus in there. Sometimes the drama gets to be a bit much, but the creative outlet of writing and the joy of sharing the love for these characters with a whole universe of other people is just unbeatable.

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medusalilithcirce · 4 years ago
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Omg so soo many things to say 😭
First of all, thank you sooo much💕💕 for that reading, it was so freacking ACURATE with what i already know about him!!
I was just sooo in SHOCK because what you wrote was corresponding so freacking weeell with all the future spouse pick a card reading that ive done before...! (And i did a lot) Thats the first time i check my groom persona chart and i couldnt dream of a better first view on my potential future spouse. (And the way youre explaining is idk.. so well made, like i just could read you for hours 😭 you seem so intelligent)
Okay so, Sun in sagittarius, him being from foreign land/ethnicity : i swear i couldnt think/use my brain anymore...literally EVERY pick a card reading on future spouse describe a foreign land/different ethnicity person !!!!!!! 😭
I know its just a confirmation, but im into spirituality/astrology since over 2 years now and im still so amazed like a child when that happen😂🤩
Okay what im going to say is probably going to sound weird or crasy or just a fantasy but, i swear, its been a few months now that i dream so intensely of him..and i just KEEP seing in my dreams, that he would be from a very powerful family/well known/tradition oriented family: a Royal family. And when i saw this Leo Moon in 10th .. plus what you told me for them being known in their home land/etc, my jaw just dropped lmao. I know it could mean anything, and not necessarily royalty (like a symbol, popularity or something), but i just couldnt think anything else but that.
Im gonna be honnest 😂 yes since you did this persona chart i want to try to check all the royal families still existing lmaoo And if we go in that logic, they would be all from different ethnicities and lands cause im french but not by blood. And we dont have a royal family here (not anymore rip louis 16 lmao), and neither from my origins. So🤣🤷‍♀️
No, more seriously, im just so intrigued lol but im a bit scared to looking for more. Like maybe it would be weird to looking for more, like forcing destiny or fate or something ?
And last thing but not least, i mean at that point im not surprised anymore but, when you said the libra rising could mean that i met him at an organised event.. angain, LITERALLY every pick a card reading told me that, and more specifically a wedding (AND in foreign land, so during traveling). I mean, will see!
And SAME for the dark hair.. i mean again, half of the population got dark hair but, every card reading were telling me this lol astrology is REAL peopleee.
I dont want to be too long, but their is sooo soo much more things in what you said that just match with my juno etc etc
I think thats all, u did perfect !
Anyways, i love your content, and the way you writing girl! Keep going its amazing🤗💚💚
And thank you angain for this astro game💛🖤
I hope you had/have a great day, youre fine and you are better from yesterday 💖
Love
I hope this is a "feed back" cause im new on tumblr, so automatically lost
Thank u if you do it💕
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hello and since it made it here of course im going to do it!❦
❦ if you want tarot readings (paid) go to @jasmine419​
❦ make sure you give feedback
❦ groom - im getting a lot of groom in capricorn, whew! groom in capricorn, your future spouse is most likely going to the most mature one in the relationship, they’re going to think very logically, the groom is in the third house, they might be the oldest sibling in their family and set a good example to them.
❦ sun - sun in sagittarius, they’re going to be from a different place from you, if not a different place then a different ethnic background. they probably travelled a lot when they were a child/still with their family, with sagittarius in the second house, they definitely used their money to travel everywhere, they would probably want you to join their travels.
❦ moon - moon in leo, they might be fire dominant, it’s either fire, water or earth dominant. but with the sun and moon in fire signs, i think they’re going to be fire dominant, they’re going to be very commanding and that’s probably why they set a good example to their siblings a lot, they might have a lot of siblings too. since they’re so used to getting attention from people, they’d except to have your attention a lot, with the leo moon in the tenth house, they’re probably known in where they’re from, mostly home town or home city? school or work place?
❦ rising - rising in libra, you could meet them anywhere, when a rising is in a libra, its always in a place where there’s a lot of socialising, connecting and communication, i have a feeling you met them in an organised event.
❦ mercury - mercury in sagittarius, they might be bilingual, im hearing someone with a deep voice, they’re going to be tanned with dark hair too! they’re going to speak a lot and be very provoking because they find it funny, with the mercury in the second house, them speaking probably helps their career a lot. 
❦ venus - venus in scorpio, this is going to be a sensitive lover, they might be the chaser in the relationship, they’ll have their eyes on you a lot. like they’re some predator, with venus in the first house, they’re going to make it clear they have their intentions on you, they’re going to be a loud future partner.
❦ mars - mars in scorpio, they definitely think a lot, they think with their mind and their emotions. they know when its a good situation to think with logic and when its a good time to think with emotions, with mars in the first house, they’ll hate it if someone tried to ruin their ego or embarrass them.
❦ pluto - pluto in the second house, they might help you with their finances, your money will definitely change when you marry them. but it might be bad or good so be careful!
pluto ❦
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allisonm22 · 8 years ago
Text
95 Thoughts I Had During the PLL Finale
 If its not already obvious, spoilers below.
1) What the hell is this scene? 2) I think this is a dream, why is there no one else around 3) Jennas on a horse, dream theory confirmed 4) Off to a weird start already 5) Hannah is too nice, Mona tried to kill you honey, let that friendship die 6) Caleb won’t say hi? Thats super fucking shady baby please don’t be A.D. 7) oh fuck is that Melissa?  8) JK its mona..wait why is she even wearing a mask?  9) If I were Aria, I’d be pissed as hell that Hannah brought Mona along, like kick her ass out? 10) Oh god Aria,stop crying, why cant you marry bae? Actually I dont even care. 11) Spencer that was a BOLD move...oh fuck that its for scrabble?! 12) How is Mona trying to act like she doesnt know who A is, didnt she see him/ her at Radley? Or are we supposed to just forget about that? 13) oooh no poor Aria sorry boo 14) Oh hey its mary drake 15) the spencer/ mary drake relationship annoys me to be honest 16) how did the cop not see them holding hands? 17) Ezra is fucking goals..except that time he was kind of A and writing a book about them behind their back. 18) Aria’s dad will forever creep me the fuck out  19) Alison and Em’s mom are being so obvious 20) Alison is deff gunna propose 21) Random thought I’ve had since 2010- Spencer’s mom (before that mary drake shit) looks like Olivia Benson 22) Why do they keep talking about Addison? Why are we supposed to care about her? Marlene don’t make her part of this I WILL FLIP. 23) The moms mentioned the basement! Are they going to tell us how they got out?!?! 24) Nope they are not 25) I’ve been hearing about their relationships since 2010, wrap it up and start talking about A.D.! 26) whyyyyy do they dress Alison so horribly? Like even her pajamas are horrendous 27) called that proposal 28) That ring is so pretty!!! 29)”How much damage can she do in one night” FORESHADOWING!!!!!!!!!! 30) any scene with a naked toby is a gift, I'm about it 31) Toby’s hair looks so soft 32) Who the fuck is playing the piano 33) ohhhh fuck its Mona, im not shocked though 34) Im getting vibes that someone is going to die 35) whaaaaaaat the fuckkkkkk is this place 36) whats happening 37) oh fuck how’d mary get out? I never know how to feel about her 38) DO NOT TELL ME SPENCER HAS A BRITISH TWIN 39) DO NOT TELL ME THAT 40) her british accent is horrendous 41) WREN! 42) Are they trying to pull a parent trap on PLL 43) omg all those times it wasnt spencer! 44) Hannah wasnt sleeping! YO TOBY FUCKED FAKE SPENCER TWICE!  45) I knew i got weird vibes from that airport scene! 46) but why would she do all this if she didnt even know Charlotte? 47) “Till death do us part”...SIG-NIF-I-CANT (sung like Jean-Ralphio from Parks and Rec) 48) Isn’t Wren a fucking psychologist?! there were soooooo many red flags buddy and you missed them ALL 49) oh fuck she killed him and put him in a necklace...casual 50) Remember when Marlene King lied and said they werent going to copy the books? 51) Well actually I take it back she didnt technically lie, she gave us not one but three sets of twins 52) going off track for a second, twins skip a generation so super unlikely that mary drake would have twins 53) also like why couldnt they mention Ali was having twins? im not understanding the twin obsession 54) Back on track...OH FUCK THEYRE WREN’S BABIES 55) Why cant mary help her? thats your daughter bitch! 56) yo Mary literaly sold Alex, I know she didnt have a choice really but thats fucked upppppp. 57) A.D.-Alex Drake....I literally just got that 58) Spencer I wouldve knocked mary out and RAN 59) why does she have bae/Ezra? like what is the point? 60) Rollins looks like Keanu Reeves 61) seriously why is Cece dressed like a fucking pimp 62) wait they just explained like five years worth of plot in five seconds and I can barely understand it because of THAT SHIT ACCENT! 63) honestly them explaining how  jenna/sara/sydney are involed so quickly shows how bad this ending really is 64) Toby is gunna figure it out with the horse doesnt like her!!! 65) Horses always know wtf is up 66) Jennas gunna sniff her out 67) Evil twin is such a big leap to make based off a person smelling weird 68) I feel like that whole squad accepted the evil twin theory too quickly like if someone came up to me and was like hey our best friend smells different I think shes being held hostage and the one walking around is actually her evil twin, I would be like ..............what 69) Mona’s a double agent! I think? another one im never sure about 70) Yay theyre out run babies run! 71) why the fuck would you split up have you people learned nothing 72) whaaaaaat, thats not real theyre not actually outside right? 73) I feel like I’m watching Lost honestly 74) Alex walking around with that axe though is my forever mood honestly 75) DONT YOU FUCKING DARE KILL EZRA 76) WAIT WHOSE WHO 77) OHHHH FUCK DONT SHOOT THE WRONG ONE! 78) He shouldve shot Alex fuck that she helped mary escape jail she could easily escape 79) Arias second wedding dress- SO much better 80) oh fuck you marlene king with your cameo shush yourself right off my screen 81) Mona sells dolls in france.....cool cool cool (not cool) 82) deff the creepiest thing ive ever seen in my life 83) oh wait just kidding now its the creepiest thing ive ever seen 84) so Mona’s just full blown psychotic, weve known that since season two thanks for the well written plot twist 85) Dont tell me Addisons about to go missing for a spin off 86) lol addison went missing for a spin off 87) nope sorry im out, i cant invest any more time into another marlene king shit show 88) lemme save you time babies, you better hope addison is dead, cause if not, youre in for a fucking roller coaster of a life 89) in conclusion, im SUPER PISSED jason didnt come back because i looooooved me some jason eye candy 90) I hate that this whole plot was orchestrated by an new character whose only motivation was that she was friends with cece. 91) why did everyone love cece?! she was so fucking shitty like the fuck? 92) I wanted it to be this intricate theory that theyve been planning for years, I really wanted it to be someone weve seen for the past seven years, someone in the background we wouldnt have even thought twice about, that wouldve had alot more shock value 93) also giving it to a new character takes away the opportunity to link A.D. back the original plot for the first five years. I hate how it was essentially two different stories, it makes me feel like the first five years were a waste. 94) Im just dissapointed because i REALLY wanted them to redeem themselves after the Cece/Charlie shit show and they had so many opportunities to make it great and they continued to drop the ball. I  like the characters and their personal storylines though, thats the thing ill miss, not the fake reveals and actual reveals that make no sense. Im all about their character growth and personally loved watching them grow on and off screen. Its just a shame the storyline couldnt do them justice. 95) Lets not let Marlene King write anymore shows, K? K.
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janzz · 6 years ago
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day 3: its 3:47am on day 4 and i forgot to write my daily post
really really really trying hard to make this a habit (just for april)
so fail but lol
here’s my post for today
i went to a yoga class tonight in santa clara and it was the yogi’s first time and she was so good omg!
not quite as good as my fave instructor of all time (the bae lauren at moxie yoga in sf)
but yeah kimberly at corepower santa clara square might make me a regular!
(which honestly is super great because i went to class with norma and it was awful LOL)  (she played like hardcore edm at a chill class??) (to be fair it was also a level 2 class and i was struggling a little and kimberly’s class was a level 1....)
(oh i went to whole foods in the same plaza right after and ngl im starting to really enjoy just physically being in those fancy ass supermarkets.  i went to a new to me nob hill after orangetheory surprisingly also in santa clara ----theyre just nice and clean and beautiful.  however spending $45 to get way less stuff than a 99 ranch or something still feels way wrong.  i got bananas cashew milk chia seed refill 18 brown eggs (anthony likes the brown ones idk) natural deodorant (cause native has been sucking hard) ginger tofu mushrooms orange juice fancy sprouted bread shredded cheese actually ok when i list that all out its a decent amount for whole foods.  the stuff is just smaller yknow like the presliced white mushrooms were $1 for easily like 3 or so oz less)
anyway i find this funny because when i started dating anthony in 2015 he would go to nob hill markets and always claim it was his favorite market (because the chicken he would buy from there would never go bad etc).  i thought he was like idk rich af -- to be fair he went to stanford 2x and has his masters and is 2 years older so yeah he is definitely more privileged than me.  like i didnt have a preference for cage free brown eggs like i never had the money to spend the extra $1 or 2 on that shit when i was slaving at starbucks AND a second office job.
its really weird how money changes your life.  its 2019 and i finally hit the 100k 6 figure mark.  it’s honestly been a STRUGGLE to get here, but i’ve learned a lot along the way -- primarily that you HAVE to negotiate and generally just get paid more to improve your life.  anyway yeah money doesn’t solve problems but it generally reduces  your mental calories and makes things way more convenient.
before when i was poorer, i would have to go out of my way to make sure i was getting the cheapest shell gasoline in the area (still gotta have standards and not give into that arco bullshit).  i would never go into whole foods or places like that because my dollar had to stretch further.  whenever i would go out with friends before i’d have to be SUPER mindful of what i ordered and i would be EXTRA annoyed when you go out in a group and when splitting venmo people wouldnt pay the extra gratuity and i’d factor in me covering it because as a barista and server its bs when ppl dont tip well
now -- idgaf if i go out to eat a lot or splurge when im out w friends.  dropping $50-$100 randomly cause something is on clearance at lululemon is not a big deal.  im not anal about my boyfriend and i splitting everything exactly 5050 down the middle cause meh whatever i dont need to be given money back for like the minimal difference.  if whole foods is convenient for me to go to after a workout ill go in without batting an eyelash.  
it is weird tho being poor and then having money -- like ill go to lululemon but absolutely CANNOT buy anything full price.  i still like watching movies but 99% of the time go on discount days cause spending $20 when i could spend $9 feels wrong.  whenever i do basic things with my boyfriend, like going to the grocery store or mall, i’m most definitely the most cost conscious -- checking against the value per oz, whereas he just picks whatever and gives no thoughts to it (i think he makes like 240k a year thereabouts, definitely more than double but i dont know the specifics).  i drive a 2015 toyota corolla le he drives a nicer but still affordable more luxury sedan hyundai sonata souped up with seat warmers navigation and he’s installed a dash cam and stuff.  my car is definitely a commuter car that’s just one level up from the s basic model.  when i htink about buying a new car i dont know if i could buy a lexus but yet i sometimes think about getting a tesla instead of a prius
another weird one is getting mad at myself for leaving reusable grocery bags LITERALLY in the trunk and then having to pay the $0.10 per bag.  I’ve easily spent at least $15 on bags prob.  Before i would be kicking myself hard cause i’d need to pinch pennies.  another thing that ive noticed makes me feel “rich” is i can sustain my craft coffee/boba habit just fine and not give a fuck.  before i got more mindful of it i htink my my coffee boba budget was like $100 a month.  ive always loved craft coffee, but it has to be RIGHT if i was gonna spend $6.  when i was living w my parents in san diego going to a new coffee shop and driving up to encinitas or whatever was like THE trip. now i get philz off my mobile app whenever i head out of class or if im feeling like it and its not that special
but yeah, im not rich by any means but it was huge to go from like $16 an hour at my office job/$15.70?? w/ benefits I think that was my starbucks shift supervisor rate/annual salaries of 20k ish to $39k at a law firm in downtown sac (grossly underpaid but at least rent was only $300 at a family friends) back to the law firm job up to $70k.  there i got a raise at the same job from 70 to 80k and then 80k to 86.
THEN cause i was privileged enough to have been able to save money making more when i hated my job i just up and quit (i think i had like no more than 5k in savings at the time --it wouldve been more but i spent 3k on prk/lasik).  anyway yeah i was lucky af and got a new job in a month -- and the offer for this job was 100k base, 10k bonus, some amount of stock (i still suck at this stuff) and a stupid amount of perks like $1000 gym reimbursement and basically free health insurance -- if i annualize all my pay+perks, assuming i get my full bonus, its prob like 120k.
so i have like 5x ed my income in 4 years since graduating from college.
the crazy part is people that were more privileged than me STARTED at 100k as new grads, including 401ks and what not.  im lucky becuase i started mine back when i was 18 at starbucks.
income inequality and access to knowledge/resources has become something ive become more aware about and passionate about over time.  me and my boyfriend clashed a lot earlier i think because we literally were in different planes of our lives and income levels.  we’ve been together 3 years, but have known each other for 4.  we broke up for 1 year in between -- and yeah ngl had i never improved myself or actually reached my income/earning potential we likely would not have gotten back together.  additionally him supporting me when we got back together raised me out of not the poverty level but yeah we met and i made 39k.  i took the plunge and moved out to sf for myself and lets be real for him too and made 70k which was a huge jump.  and in a short 15 months or so i jumped again to 100k base.
im never gonna make as much as he does (men/women blah we can get into that) but yeah even having access to money adjacently is so powerful.  anthony never outright gave me money and im too much of a hardass independent person that ive NEVER borrowed money from him, never intend to.  i really vehemently despise the idea of free loading but because of him just being around yeah my life has been improved.  
when we met in 2015 in our young 20s we were in our have fun phase.  i was too poor to have gone to thiings like coachella or out to a concert.  he got me into music and made it easy for me to experience because he’d buy the ticket, drinks, pick me up and pay for sf parking.  i would likely get dinner ahead of time or something small and generally we would switch so if he got tickets one time i’d get them next.  but he ALWAYS paid for drinks and lets be real the occasional not drinks :P he had introduced me to music in such a way that i was willing to drop $800 or so on coachella + car camping + take pto days even when we were broken up 10ish months or whatever it was the first time we dated but if you think about it he likely dropped at least 1k on me during those 10 months without batting an eye lash.  i made 39k at the time working in downtown sacramento and he made 90k base (maybe 115k total comp) living in SF.
despite just basic things like me being immature for 23 -- a big reason i think we broke up at the time was the income level inequality.  it was both our first jobs out of school (first job out of stanford grad for him, he immediately got his masters out of undergrad).  i did a round of uc davis, community, uc davis.  
he told me he was breaking up with me because when we met i had originally wanted to be a lawyer and then didnt end up pursuing that path and he saw it as a lack of ambition/drive.  what he didnt see was general growing up and not having access to lawyers as i grew up, just me working at this really top tier A+ law firm and feeling out of place as an asian woman working with rich WASPs.  me wearing pencil skirts and having major impostor syndrome.  what he did end up seeing was an insecure version of myself in our relationship with me bending over backwards to make him happy.
when i moved to sf and made 70k it definitely was a huge ego boost to make that additional 30k, but to be real, here in sf and paying more rent than i was in sac and SD/just general living being expensive 70k wasnt that much.  what it did for my confidence though was priceless (i was an ea to a ceo at a tech startup).  i really grew into myself and was more confident in my abilities -- and honestly a lot of that was just getting older and knowing that i was good at things, bad at certain things and i wasnt going through my quarterlife/post grad crisis anymore.  
then those raises to 80k and 86k made me more ballsy.  these things were obvi practiced with anthony as i had a partner to discuss and practice with/an educated thought partner.  at this time anthony was making $150k base or so (after realizing he had been grossly underpaid as a PM for the 90k initial salary)
all of this set me up to basically make my position what it is now AND for it to be 100k.  tbh im a glorified low level coordinator at a big company.  i honest to goodness for the first three months probably worked a total of 2ish hours a day? this role should probably max out at 90k.  and by max out i mean this role likely shouldve started at 75k with incremental raises to get to 90 in like 3 years.  i STARTED at 100 and can likely if i play my cards right be promoted to a program manager in a year (or less).  that’ll prob bump me to a base of 120 or so if i’m aggressive.
i always shitted on sf when i moved here because i hate the tech bros, the elitist ppl, the vcs who think theyre out here changing the world but seriously being surrounded by people that went to ivy leagues or the UC’s that were better than mine have honestly, like my boyfriend, just uplifted my status.  something as small as casual lunch time conversation being more intellectual makes a huge difference for me re: how stimulated i feel and how much more energized ive become because of ppl around me.  i def still have impostor syndrome all the time but its been so much growth from 23 to 27.
30s should be great because ill be well into my career by then and making even more and closing the gap even more w my boyfriend.  its funny too cause hes 29 now AND FINALLY getting that postgrad quarter life crisis.  his privilege was able to offset him to have this crisis later on in life where he made more money and could make smarter choices.  privilege really is the thing that keeps on giving and im grateful to have started poor and really appreciate it.  as i make more money i also care more and more to give back.  if i ever do run for office in my 50s or whatever im gonna push for more access to education and arts.  i had an interest in this as an undergrad but couldnt pursue it because itd be a lifetime of poverty, but yeah who knows.
dang this went long but it is really interesting when i think about money and how much its effected me.  im lucky i was able to raise myself out of the level my immigrant parents brought me and my sister to.  them moving out of the philippines was the best thing that ever happened to me.  the second is them fronting the bill for my university education.  the privilege i have is extremely special and important and i want to honor their sacrifices because im sitting on a 100k because of decades of hard work and frugality on their ends.
im fucking lucky.
we gotta pass on the resources and uplift those around us if we are fortunate.  
...another rant altogether but i wish the leadership in the United States thought the same way. 
(end: 4:36am, why do i do this to myself)
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