#new year's day by taylor swift | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

g1rld1ary · 8 days ago

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new year's day - sirius black x reader

wc: 2608

cw: drinking, smoking, swearing, kissing, r is an anxious overthinker

me: inspired ofc by miss swift. happy happy 2025 lovelies!!!! this was supposed to be out for my new years (it is currently 12am on the 3rd lol) but the words were not wording. hopefully because of time zones it's still only just passed NYD for some of u?? either way wishing u love + light for the yr ahead <33

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There was glitter on the floor after the party. A wonderful idea at the time, sparkles falling softly as couples kissed and champagne was popped to welcome the new year in, but now it was just something else to clean up.

A couple of people you knew, friends you weren’t that close with, were still making their way out from the night before, heels thrown over shoulders and bare feet braving the winter streets. You waved out a few more guests with a forced smile, trying not to think about how much you would rather be back in a warm bed, preferably cuddled up with someone.

“Happy New Year, darling.” Alice Fortescue kissed your cheek on the way out, pressing a stack of Polaroids in your hands. The top one was you and Sirius, hugging tightly with megawatt grins on display. You flipped it over so fast you might have made an earthquake. You couldn’t think about him.

You shut the door behind the final group of stragglers, wishing them all a happy New Year as they went, and sighed. The party was a success, there was no denying it, but somehow you didn’t feel any satisfaction. Not after making what might be the biggest mistake of your life. Not that it felt like that at the time, but… Not everything that feels good is good.

Tense silence settled over your house and you felt dangerously alone despite knowing that all your best friends were still asleep somewhere upstairs. You allowed yourself a moment, quiet before the inevitable storm of the day, and sat on the couch with your head in your hands.

You felt stupid. You’d probably just fucked up the most important relationship in your life for five minutes of pleasure. And what was worse was that you couldn’t even talk to him about it so you just wallowed in your own self-pity, feeling your best friend slip through your fingers.

Something dumb was pumping through the stereo, accompanying the raucous noise already occupying your house.

“Dance with me,” You whined, grabbing Sirius’ hands to make him move along to the music with you. He laughed at you, shaking his head softly but moving with you all the same. He twirled you around easily, handing his drink to a laughing Remus.

Sirius followed you further into the cleared-out living room, pulling out all his most embarrassing dance moves to make you laugh. You took it as a challenge, moving to the music with the wildest movements you could create, the two of you unintentionally creating a bubble between you and the rest of the party.

You eventually tired out, though, and made Sirius accompany you through the first story of your house, wine-drunk and giggling as you let all your thoughts travel from your brain and out your mouth.

Sirius helped you up until you were sitting on the railing of your back porch and staring at the stars, him standing next to you, your shoulders brushing every so often. You talked about everything and nothing, the things you wanted to leave in this year, what you were excited for in the next.

James, Remus and Peter came tumbling out the back door and into your garden with a small crowd following, setting up in anticipation of the new year and the fireworks they were going to let off.

“Sirius?” You asked, and your tone must have worried him because Sirius was up in an instant, standing in front of you.

“Yeah?”

“Kiss me,” You said as your friends began to count down.

“What?” His silver eyes widened, hands finding purchase on your knees.

“Kiss me. Please.”

And as the new year made itself known, you were finally kissing Sirius Black, your best friend in the world and longtime crush. His lips were soft, same as his hair, and all you wanted was for him to be closer, closer, closer until you weren’t even two people anymore. Just one combined being so you’d never have to stop kissing him.

His palm on your cheek was warm, cradling you gently like you’d slip away at any moment. Had he been wanting this as much as you had? You weren’t in any shape to consider it, lost in his smell and his closeness.

Champagne bottles popped behind you, fireworks releasing into the sky and you were kissing Sirius Black. You thought life could not possibly get any better, except for when he pulled away and simply rested his forehead on yours, your two breaths mixing in the winter air.

You didn’t say anything, too afraid to pop the blissful bubble you were in, so the two of you remained in silence, Sirius’ hands still holding you.

“Come on, we’re gonna play a game inside!” Mary called as she swung around the balcony pole. You and Sirius parted, intense eye contact sending chills down your spine. He nudged you gently. indicating for you to come along with him and participate in whatever terrible drinking game your friends had cooked up. Neither of you mentioned the kiss for the rest of the night.

You groaned, wiping your hands down your face to pull you back to earth, slapping your knees and standing up. Back to real life, where your best friend might never talk to you again.

You stepped over the bodies littered across the hallway leading into your bedroom, switching on your stereo as a wake-up call. The gaggle of teens moaned and groaned as you went about your business, clearing up some of the stray litter that had found its way in last night.

“Come on, clean up crew. None of you will be let out the gate until I no longer live in a shithole!” You said with forced cheer, burying your angst deep inside. Your friends whined a cacophony of complaints but roused nonetheless, ready to clean still in their sparkly attire from the party.

“Didn’t your parents know about the party?” Lily asked, rubbing tired eyes.

“Yes, but they still don’t want to come back to filth! So let’s get on it!”

Despite originally being the leader of the cleaning crusade and being the primary inhabitant of the house in which you were all cleaning, you’d somehow been bossed into the one role you’d been praying against: taking on the living room with Sirius.

Tense silence blanketed the room. You had no conversation to provide, and clearly neither did Sirius, so you were both loading empty bottles into garbage bags trying desperately to think of something to say.

You looked up to say something, anything, but divine timing made you catch the precise moment a ray of sunlight threaded through Sirius’ inky hair and onto his face, making him all but glow in the daylight. You bit your lip, unable to make conversation when he was literally golden.

“Here,” Sirius was the one to eventually break the silence, tossing a glass beer bottle into your waiting rubbish bag. You played along, making a game of catching it. You passed the time that way, making a dull chore into a competition to make it bearable.

It wasn’t until one of the bottles shattered that you sobered up, freezing in place as glass scattered across the hardwood floor.

“Shit. Stay right there,” Sirius ordered, rushing out of the room for a brush pan and broom. You stared at your sock-clad feet, both to ensure there wasn’t any glass on you and to reconsider the dynamic you had with Sirius. He’d been acting normal but hadn’t mentioned the kiss at all, maybe he was politely ignoring it so nothing would change. Or, you realised with a start, maybe he didn’t even remember it. You’d all been drinking and you were pretty sure you’d seen Sirius smoking something with Remus, there was a chance he really didn’t even know it happened. The thought was a little like a knife through the heart but it was better than losing him, so you chose to believe it.

Sirius returned, carefully cleaning away the glass shards littered by your feet as you stood dutifully still. It was strangely intimate, you could hear your friends chatter in a distant other room, a Beatles record floating through the air, but you felt a million miles away with Sirius.

“You’re all good,” He said, tipping the glass pieces into the rubbish, holding thick eye contact. You swallowed, mouth dry as you searched for a familiar quip to move the moment on. Nothing came and you were stuck staring at each other until someone called for you both in the other room.

“Hurry up, you two, we’re making vision boards!” You both snapped to attention, tossing the last remaining bits of rubbish into the bin and hurrying over to where the rest of your friends sat around a long dining table.

“What the bloody hell is a vision board,” Sirius muttered and you giggled at his side, quickly quietening down when he looked at you in a way you couldn’t decipher. Your brain chose to interpret it as discomfort.

“A vision board,” Remus explained with a stern emphasis, “Is where you collage the things you want to bring into the new year. So attitudes, things you want to happen, whatever you want.”

Sirius grumbled a bit more but sat down nonetheless, examining the collection of photos the girls had prepared a few days before new year’s eve.

You all quietened down as the craft progressed, scissor snips and paper rustling filling the room. You were mostly engaged with your own approaching new year visions, gluing down inspirational quotes and images you wanted to live out.

By chance you glanced down at Sirius’ board as you reached over to take a picture from Lily’s hands, eyes catching on one of the photos glued down already. Two figures kissing in the snow, the girl’s hand on the man’s jaw.

You dropped back into your chair aggressively, slumping back slightly.

“Woah, you alright?” James asked, trying to rub glue off his hands. You nodded before he could even finish the question, putting your head down to focus on your board.

What did the photo mean? Was Sirius finally ready to settle down and get a girlfriend? Was it you? Was it because of you? Holy shit, you were such a bad kisser that you made Sirius Black want to stop hooking up with people.

You knew you were being quiet but you couldn’t help it. It was hard to look forward to the year ahead when it was clear to you that something would be different between you and Sirius.

You excused yourself to get another glass of water, sighing as you watched the winter landscape out the window above the sink.

“Alright, dove?” You jumped at Remus’ voice but turned with a small smile. You nodded with a noncommittal noise, taking a sip of water to avoid speaking. He shot you a look you could almost picture McGonagall giving you when you lied about not being stressed during exams.

“Are we not talking about the kiss, then?” You paused. Obviously someone would have seen it, you weren’t exactly hiding anything, but it still sent fear through your veins. Not only would it now be weird with Sirius, people would start to pick sides as you drifted and soon enough your whole friendship group would be fractured down the middle. The tears burned in your eyes without any notice and you bit the inside of your cheek to stop them from falling.

“Everything’s going to fall apart,” You broke down, collapsing into Remus’ arms. He held you for a minute, letting you get the worst out.

“Nothing’s going to fall apart.” He pet your hair softly, “If you like him you just need to tell him. Don’t avoid him because of things you’re imagining might happen. Live in real life, dove.” You considered Remus’ words. They kinda hurt, but you thought you needed to hear them.

No one mentioned your red eyes as you returned from the kitchen with Remus, and Mary kindly told you the group had moved on from vision boards to new year’s resolutions.

You wrote your list in pensive silence, doodling with a sparkly pink gel pen. Staring across the table you were struck with inspiration, scribbling quickly like you were leaving a smoking trail.

The group dispersed after you’d all finished, teenagers filling every corner of your house. Each were tending to their own business, mostly setting up sleeping spaces so they could all stay while your parents were travelling.

“Hey,” You said awkwardly, approaching Sirius as he smoked on the back porch. He turned to face you, lips twitching up in response. “Is this your resolutions list? Can I read it?” You swiped the folded up piece of paper from his long fingers. He looked as if he was going to put up a fight but relented easily, turning to fully face you.

“Only if I get to read yours.”

You traded papers, the unfolding sheets rustling in the otherwise silent air. Your eyes scanned the list, smiling when you saw “buy a motorbike” in unnecessarily formal script.

And then, number five. In trembling hands, you re-read the words several times, not sure if you wanted it to be true or not.

“Tell her how I feel?” You asked, scared to even make eye contact.

“Tell him how I feel,” Sirius read off your list, a joyful spark making its way to his eyes.

“So…”

“I really like you. So much. And when you asked me to kiss you I was so scared that we’d fuck everything up but I can never say no to you. And I wanted to so, so much.”

Holy shit. You felt ridiculous, stressing about this all day when the whole time — the whole time — Sirius felt exactly the same. Your mouth dried up as you searched for words, anything acceptable for the current moment. You gave up, doing instead what you’d been thinking about all day.

And suddenly you were kissing Sirius Black. Again. His lips were just as soft as they were last night but tasted smokey and sweet from the leftover treats you’d all been snacking on throughout the day. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him as close as you possibly could.

You thought it was far too easy to get lost in kissing Sirius Black. Despite the cold air around you, you wouldn’t have been able to say whether it had been minutes or hours and you wouldn’t have dreamt of pulling away.

Cheers and hoots came from your bedroom window, reluctantly pulling yourselves off each other. Your friends were all hanging out the window making right fools of themselves, and you could tell the warmth in your cheeks wasn’t just from the cold. You buried your head in his chest to avoid the stares, revelling in being close.

“So…” Sirius said once the cheerleaders had had their fun.

“We’re certainly productive,” You joked, “I mean, how many people are ticking off their resolutions on New Year’s Day?”

“Maybe I should make another one then.” Sirius grabbed his paper back and pretended to write, “How about ‘get a girlfriend?’” You pretended to think, tilting your head as you pondered.

“I guess I could help you with that.”

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