#new year's battle of 1968
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"Moments that stay with you forever"
The process of seeing [the war] as something else, how long did that take? What was that process?
It takes time. First of all, you come back numb. You're alienated. You're not really cogent in that way we're talking [about] now. I mean, I was angry, and being in civilian life is very different than the military; especially in a prospering civilian life in New York where people are making money. Big money was being made for the first time. I met a woman, my first wife, Najwa, who was working at the Moroccan mission to the United Nations. She was Lebanese and she helped me come back to civilization, in a sense. We'd be in the streets and I'd hear a backfire of a car and I'd be on the sidewalk. That kind of nervousness.
You're very candid about the aspect of war that's invigorating. You write at one point: "Soldiers might say it was hell, but I saw it as divine. The closest man would ever come to the Holy Spirit was to witness and survive this great destructive energy."
Yeah. I think many people who are in combat will tell you, late in their life, that they will always remember those moments, you know. Moments that stay with you forever. This night I'm describing, that night, was my experience of an all night human wave attack, which is very rare. You don't see those very much in Vietnam because the enemy is not interested in human wave attacks. There's too many casualties. But for some reason, because they were on the trail down from Cambodia into Saigon and they were planning for the Tet Offensive at the end of January (and this was the night of January 1, '68) they came at us, full out, from the moment dark fell till dawn and it didn't end - and that battle was amazing. The power, the force of that battle was like a hurricane, being in a hurricane. Of course, the irony of the whole thing is that this is the largest battle I'm in, but I don't see one enemy. I don't fire my rifle. All I do is get blown up by my own side.
I'm concussed. I'm thrown in the air. I get up, no blood, and I go back into the field. I report to my line, whatever it was called, my perimeter. Didn't see one of them [the enemy] the whole night. People were scared. These guys, the NVA [North Vietnamese Army] were inside the perimeter at times. It was very close fighting, but I was spared. I compared it to Greek mythology, where Pallas Athena comes down and cloaks an Odysseus type in her mist and takes him away from the battle; lifts him off, away from the dangers. There was a godlike intervention. Strange night. And that's what I was talking about. Powerful night. It stayed with me for the rest of my life. Still is with me.
After that, it got dirtier. I was wounded twice and I got involved in a lot of dirty combat. One time, I saw an enemy soldier about ten feet away, behind an anthill. I was behind some kind of protection, but I had an M79, which is a different kind of weapon than an M16. It needs fifty to sixty yards to explode. You can't explode it at ten feet. Those kinds of incidents were crazy.
-Louis Theroux interviews Oliver Stone, Grounded with Louis Theroux, Jan 4 2021
#oliver stone#louis theroux#ptsd#podcasts#vietnam#the vietnam war#new year's battle of 1968#battle of soui cut
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Spy tf2 and his identity
Character analysis (or at least my vision on him, if you believe my reasoning)
What do we know about Spy? He's a disguise mastermind. He can pretend to be anyone in order to infiltrate into the scene to do his job - quite literally, stab people on the back. But when he's not in the battle, what is he to his teammates? A suave Frenchman, a gentleman with taste, somewhat a leader.
At least, that's the persona he prefers to show. But is he really..?
What if I tell you that this person never drops his disguise?
For a man who always wears a mask and who's identity being secret is a sacred part of his role in this job, isn't this persona too much to show if it is real? Frenchman, rich, ladykiller... Wouldn't it be too easy to decipher his identity with so much clues provided? Wouldn't it be dangerous?
While Miss Pauling and the Administrator definitely know Spy's real identity, hiding it is a major thing for whatever reason. One could assume it might be because of Scout (obvious guess) but I doubt he's a sole reason. Spy very much enjoys being the Spy all by himself. Do what's the deal?
Let's start from the beginning.
Why did Spy join Mann Co. in the first place?
Let's take this assumption as a fact: people come here out of desperation. They are professionals in their field, yet in their past/casual life there is a pattern of them having difficulties that push them into joining this service. I don't see why Spy would be an exception.
The reason for joining is usually money. Some people question why Spy, a wealthy man from higher society, would join Mann Co. if he has it all already.
Well, probably because he really does not.
Have you ever met an aristocrat? Wealthy people don't get so protective about their expensive suits, they can afford cleaning or a new one. Regardless, rich people don't usually get stingy about material goods, especially if they're mass produced.
At least, not those who were born into wealth.
Spy's defensiveness about his "wealthy stuff", his pomp-ness, disgust and arrogance towards "plebs" gives off a man who knows what it means to live in poverty and who doesn't want to be associated with it ever again.
(Not even talking about his own filthy habits such as not washing his mask and pissing on walls? Jesus Christ)
Dare I even guess that he might be not French at all? His French is so broken. (Although, so is Medic's German, but at least he uses his language much more frequently and in more complex sentences, while Spy only uses French to say some basic expressions, occasionally confusing them with other languages). Definitely not a native.
If anything, he's not giving "rich man" at all, he's giving con man. And that fits my picture perfectly.
So, poor upbringing. How old is Spy? If he's Scout's father (and he was young when he was conceived), I'd say he's no less than 20 years older than him. I'd give him a few more years actually. So, approximately Spy is around 50 at the events of the game (1968-1972). Let's assume he was born somewhere in the 1910s.
Even if he's not French, I still agree that he's probably European. Hmm, what was happening in Europe at the time Spy was a kid?
Oh yeah. The Great Depression.
See my picture: imagine, a child from a lower class family during the Great Depression, his parents were most likely to not take good care about him (both because of the economical situation AND as an echo to Spy's struggles with his own fatherhood). He has to run away from home early and start to make money. Any way possible.
Unavoidably, it leads to crime.
Petty theft, blackmail, scams. Changing identities. Selling low quality products and services. Changing identities again. When older, seducing rich women to stay at their homes overnight, be fed and supported. Running away from the police. Walking into a trap of the mafia, and then joining them as their goon.
In this nightmare of a life he just had to keep pretending to be someone else, someone better and stronger, in order to his ego to not completely shutter. He had to imagine he was an invincible mastermind trickster of some sort, not just a poor boo-hoo victim of poverty who has never knew normal life and care.
And if you pretend for long enough, you become your role eventually... Right?
His true self was long lost forgotten under many layers of new identities. Worse, his true self was never known. And he didn't want it to be known in its ugly and disgusting vulnerability. Narcissism became his lifeline.
It's so much better to be Spy. To be rich and elegant and respected. His ego rebuilt.
#tf2 spy#spy tf2#tf2#team fortress 2#artists on tumblr#my art#team fortress#tf2 theory#tf2 character analysis#character analysis#tf2 headcanons#npd queen we stan
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a bibliography for us Daniel Malloy freaks
(a loosely pulled-together reading list about print journalism, New York, the 1970s & 80's, and the AIDS Crisis. Most of the credit goes to @islandbetweenrivers who started this)
On Daniel Molloy, California Boy
The show never explicitly states if Daniel went to college, but since college students were exempt from the Vietnam draft, which ended officially in 1973, it could be interesting to imagine Daniel in Berkeley.
Slouching Toward Bethlehem by Joan Didion
The White Album by Joan Didion
Berkeley Barb archives (link) -- weekly underground newspaper that ran in Berkeley between '65 to '80
The Daily Cal First 150 Years (link) -- student newspaper at Berkeley
On Journalism
Iphigenia in Forest Hills by Janet Malcolm
From her reporter's seat, Malcolm observes that a trial is merely "a contest between competing narratives". (Guardian review)
The Journalist and the Murderer by Janet Malcolm
“"Every journalist who is not too stupid or too full of himself to notice what is going on knows that what he does is morally indefensible," wrote Malcolm in an opening sentence that caused a sensation in the tiny, self-referential world of posh American journalism.” (Guardian review)
The Freaks Came Out to Write: The Definitive History of the Village Voice by Trisha Romano
“The Voice’s origins were proudly amateurish. One early contributor was a homeless man recruited from a local street; equipment consisted of two battered typewriters, an ink-splattering mimeograph machine and a waste paper basket for rejected submissions. Morale spiked when a staff member discovered that dried pods used in fancy flower arrangements contained opium, which was boiled up in the office when the time came for a coffee break.” (Guardian review)
Note: The Village Voice was THE alt-weekly newspaper and it was run out of Greenwich Village in NYC. Lots of incredible writers start there and then move onto the Times, Vanity Fair, etc. Very much the sort of crowd a young Daniel would be mixed in circa 70's and 80's.
The Night of the Gun, by David Carr
David Carr redefines memoir with the revelatory story of his years as an addict and chronicles his journey from crack-house regular to regular columnist for The New York Times. Built on sixty videotaped interviews, legal and medical records, and three years of reporting, The Night of the Gun is a ferocious tale that uses the tools of journalism to fact-check the past. (amazing rec from @archive-z)
Note: imagine if Daniel did this and then fact-checked his way into remembering that vampires existed
Rogues: True Stories of Grifters, Killers, Rebels and Crooks by Patrick Radden Keefe
Keefe can paint complicated portraits of victims and vigilantes alike while covering their lonely pursuit of justice. He intuits why a Dutch woman who has exposed the crimes of her gangster brother might lie about her present whereabouts. He understands why a man who lost his brother in an aeroplane bombing might spend the rest of his life trying to find the culprit. Again and again, Keefe surmises that even the most detailed of investigations can only speculate about human motives. (Guardian review)
Note: the sort of deeply human longform profiles that feels like the sort of writing Daniel does, based on his masterclass clip and what he reveals in his interactions with Louis
On New York, New York (in the 70s)
Notes from Underground, by Eric Bogosian + Perforated Heart, by Eric Bogosian
In four billion years the sun will explode. But before that we'll run out of fresh water and before that we'll all die of some mutation of AIDS that's spread by coughing. It's not my fault anyway. I can't think about this any more today. I'm going to masturbate.
Note: The OG. What else is there to say.
Ladies and Gentleman, the Bronx is Burning: 1977, Baseball, Politics, and the Battle for the Soul of a City by Jonathan Mahler
In the long sweep of American history, of course, 1977 is not exactly 1865, 1941, 1968 or 2001. Yet from porn shops to gay bathhouses, from Yankee Stadium to City Hall, from the blackout to Son of Sam, from Rupert Murdoch's New York Post to the rise of SoHo and Studio 54, the city was living through what Mahler convincingly calls "a transformative moment . . . a time of decay but of rehabilitation as well.” (New York Times review)
Remain in Love: Talking Heads, Tom Tom Club, Tina, by Chris Franz (2020)
Frantz’s account of the early days, when the Heads lived in the pre-gentrified Lower East Side of New York, an almost literal war zone. While searching for a loft to live in, they viewed one building that was on fire. One spring afternoon, Frantz walked over to the now-legendary club CBGB to ask for a gig. The place smelt of “beer, roach spray, dog doo [the owner, Hilly Kristal, had a free-roaming saluki] and Chanel No 5”.
Winter’s Journal, by Paul Auster
Note: To me, Auster is one of the closest real-life Daniel Malloy analogues: born around 1950, literary career in NYC, moved to Paris in the 1970s for a few years, troubled middle-class background. Novelist though, not a journalist. There’s an anecdote in this book about a car crash that feels like a deadass Devil’s Minion fever dream. Crazy stuff. One of my personal favourites
On the AIDS Crisis
And the Band Played On, by Randy Shilts
The book chronicles the discovery and spread of the human immunodeficiency virus (HIV) and acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) with a special emphasis on government indifference and political infighting—specifically in the United States—to what was then perceived as a specifically gay disease
The Journalist of Castro Street: The Life of Randy Shilts, by Andrew E. Stoner
Biography of Randy Shilts that’s very helpful for imagining Daniel in the early 1980s newsrooms covering Karposi’s sarcoma
How to Survive a Plague: The Story of How Activists and Scientists Tamed AIDS by David France (2017)
It’s not easy to balance solid journalism with intimate understanding of a subject, and even harder to write eloquently about a disease that’s killing your friends and loved ones. France pulls it off, in his own words (his description of finding a college roommate’s panel in the AIDS Memorial Quilt is heartbreaking) and in letting his articulate sources speak for themselves. (SF Gate review)
Timeline of AIDS (link)
Overview of HIV (link)
And some films, just for fun
The Panic in Needle Park (1971): Drama film directed by Jerry Schatzberg. Al Pacino is a heroin addict and small-time dealer in Manhattan who falls in love with another addict.
Serpico (1973): biographical crime drama film directed by Sidney Lumet. Al Pacino is a hippie cop (yes, I know, its part of the plot) with one foot in the 1970s bohemian art scene
American Graffiti (1973): teen movie set in 1973 Modesto ("I'm just a shitty kid from Modesto"--Danny Malloy)
The Taking of Pelham 123 (1974): More grimy 1970s NYC stuff
All the President’s Men (1976): THE ABSOLUTE JOURNALISM MOVIE??
Star Wars: A New Hope (1977)
Cruising (1980): 1980 crime thriller written and directed by William Friedkin. Al Pacino is a cop (again) but this time he goes undercover in NYC gay leather clubs
Almost Famous (2000): Set in 1973, it chronicles the funny and often poignant coming of age of 15-year-old William, an unabashed music fan who gets the chance to write for Rolling Stone
Spotlight (2015): More journalism movies! The true story of how the Boston Globe uncovered the massive scandal of child molestation and cover-up within the local Catholic Archdiocese
everyone say thank you to @islandbetweenrivers for starting this, I just polished up our google docs and posted it on tumblr.
Also if anyone has something to add please let me know!
#interview with the vampire#iwtv#daniel malloy#iwtv fic#im serious i think there's so much more we can add to this list
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November 9, the fateful day of the Germans in history
Nov 9, 1313: Battle of Gammelsdorf - Louis IV defeats his cousin Frederick the Fair marking the beginning of a series of disputes over supremacy between the House of Wittelsbach and the House of Habsburg in the Holy Roman Empire
Nov 9, 1848: Execution of Robert Blum (a german politician) - this event is said to mark the beginning of the end of the March Revolution in 1848/49, the first attempt of establishing a democracy in Germany
Nov 9, 1914: Sinking of the SMS Emden, the most successful German ship in world war I in the indo-pacific, its name is still used as a word in Tamil and Sinhala for a cheeky troublemaker
Nov 9, 1918: German Revolution of 1918/19 in Berlin. Chancellor Max von Baden unilaterally announces the abdication of Kaiser Wilhelm II and entrusts Friedrich Ebert with the official duties. At around 2 p.m., the Social Democrat Philipp Scheidemann proclaims the "German Republic" from the Reichstag building. Two hours later, the Spartacist Karl Liebknecht proclaims the "German Soviet Republic" from the Berlin City Palace.
Nov. 9, 1923: The Hitler-Ludendorff Putsch (Munich Beer Hall Putsch) is bloodily suppressed by the Bavarian State Police in front of the Feldherrnhalle in Munich after the Bavarian Prime Minister Gustav Ritter von Kahr announces on the radio that he has withdrawn his support for the putsch and that the NSDAP is being dissolved.
Nov 9, 1925: Hitler imposes the formation of the Schutzstaffel (SS).
Nov 9, 1936: National Socialists remove the memorial of composer Felix Mendelssohn Bartholdy in front of the Gewandhaus concert hall in Leipzig.
Nov 9, 1938: November Pogrom / Pogrom Night ("Night of Broken Glass") organized by the Nazi state against the Jewish population of Germany.
Nov 9, 1939: The abduction of two british officiers from the Secret Intelligence Service by the SS in Venlo, Netherlands, renders the British spy network in continental Europe useless and provides Hitler with the pretext to invade the Netherlands in 1940.
Nov 9, 1948: Berlin Blockade Speech - West Berlin mayor Ernst Reuter delivers a speech with the famous words "Peoples of the world, look at this city and recognize that you cannot, that you must not abandon this city".
Nov 9, 1955: Federal Constitutional Court decision: all Austrians who have acquired german citizenship through annexation in 1938, automatically lost it after Austria became sovereign again.
Nov 9, 1967: Students protest against former Nazi professors still teaching at German universities, showing the banner ”Unter den Talaren – Muff von 1000 Jahren” ("Under the gowns – mustiness of 1000 years", referring to the self-designation of Nazi Germany as the 'Empire of 1000 Years') and it becomes one of the main symbols of the Movement of 1968 (the German Student Movement).
Nov 9, 1969: Anti-Semitic bomb attack - the radical left-winged pro-palestinian organization “Tupamaros West-Berlin” hides a bomb in the jewish community house in Berlin. It never exploded though.
Nov 9, 1974: death of Holger Meins - the member of the left-radical terrorist group Red Army Faction (RAF) financed in part by the GDR that eventually killed 30 people, dies after 58 days of hunger strike, triggering a second wave of terrorism.
Nov 9, 1989: Fall of the Berlin Wall - After months of unrest, demonstrations and tens of thousands escaping to West Germany, poorly briefed spokesman of the newly formed GDR government Günter Schabowski announces that private trips to non-socialist foreign countries are allowed from now on. Tens of thousands of East Berliners flock to the border crossings and overwhelm the border guards who had not received any instructions yet because the hastily implemented new travel regulations were supposed to be effective only the following day and involved the application for exit visas at a police office. Subsequently, crossing the border between both German states became possible vitrually everywhere.
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A List of Every Teen Titan Ever (Pre 52 Only)
The Teen Titans [1965-1979]: When the adult heroes were possessed by the evil Antithesis entity, it was up to the teen sidekicks - Robin, Kid Flash, Aqualad, Wonder Girl and Speedy - to band together to save them. Inspired by their success, the adolescent adventurers decided to remain a team - and the Teen Titans were born! Some members left and new ones emerged - even forming a Titans West sub-group. But as the members approached college, the team began to dissolve and eventually disbanded.
1. Dick Grayson [Robin/Nightwing] Joined: Brave and the Bold #60 [1965] When Dick Grayson's trapeze-artist parents were murdered, he was taken in by the Batman and became his junior partner: Robin, the Boy Wonder. As leader of the Teen Titans, Dick emerged from the shadow of his mentor and adopted the costumed identity of Nightwing.
2. Wally West [Kid Flash/Flash] Joined: Brave and the Bold #60 [1965] A bolt of lightning endowed young Wally West with super-speed, enabling him to become Kid Flash, protege to the Flash! When the Flash was slain during a great crisis, Wally became the Flash in honor of his fallen mentor.
3. Garth [Aqualad/Tempest] Joined: Brave and the Bold #60 [1965] Young Garth was abandoned by his own people because of a superstition concerning his unique purple eyes. Befriended by Aquaman, the underwater orphan became his sidekick as Aqualad! Years later, Garth discovered his secret mystic birthright and emerged as the powerful aquatic hero known as Tempest.
4. Donna Troy [Wonder Girl/Troia/Darkstar] Joined: Brave and the Bold #60 [1965] Infant Donna Troy was rescued from a fire and raised by the Titans of Myth, who gifted her with great powers. At age 13, Donna was adopted by the Amazons and became Wonder Girl in honor of her sister, Wonder Woman. Donna later embraced her true Titanic heritage and became the heroine known as Troia.
5. Roy Harper [Speedy/Arsenal/Red Arrow] Joined: Teen Titans #19 [1968], Revealed as founding member in Teen Titans #53 [1978] When Roy Harper's forest ranger father perished in a fire, Green Arrow adopted the young orphan and trained the natural-born archer as his sidekick, Speedy. Roy's time as a government agent exposed him to all manner of weaponry - leading the boy bowman to become an expert marksman as Arsenal. In honor of his mentor, Harper now fights crime as Red Arrow.
6. Lilith Clay Jupiter [Omen] Joined: Teen Titans #25 [1970] Lilith Clay - a mysterious precognitive telepath - long sought the truth behind her own parentage. Lilith later discovered her father was none other than Titans mentor, Loren Jupiter. Upon meeting her mysterious mother, Lilith's powers intensified and she adopted the persona of Omen. Lilith was later tragically killed in battle.
7. Hank Hall [Hawk] Joined: Teen Titans #25 [1970] The Lords of Chaos and Order mysteriously granted powers to teen brothers Hank and Don Hall. Pacifist Don became Dove while aggresive Hank became Hawk - both balancing the scales between might and right. Tragedy later claimed both brothers as Dove was killed in battle while Hawk became the villainous Monarch and later perished.
8. Don Hall [Dove] Joined: Teen Titans #25 [1970] The Lords of Chaos and Order mysteriously granted powers to teen brothers Hank and Don Hall. Pacifist Don became Dove while aggresive Hank became Hawk - both balancing the scales between might and right. Tragedy later claimed both brothers as Dove was killed in battle while Hawk became the villainous Monarch and later perished.
9. Mal Duncan [Vox/Guardian/Hornblower/Herald] Joined: Teen Titans #26 [1970] Streetwise Mal Duncan was invited to join the Titans by Loren Jupiter. Mal later adopted the identity of the Herald when his girlfriend Karen Beecher helped fashion a dimension-opening Gabriel's Horn for him. When a horrible accident fused Mal's sub-sonic weapons to his body, he adopted the name Vox and joined the Doom Patrol.
10. Gnarrk [Pre-Crisis] Joined: Teen Titans #33 [1971] A gentle caveman out of his own time, Gnarrk bonded with Lilith Clay before his tragic death.
11. Duela Dent [Joker's Daughter/Harlequin] [Pre-Crisis] Joined: Teen Titans #46 [1976] Duela Dent - the daughter of Earth-3's heroes, Jokester and Three-Face - developed a maddening identity crisis as she found herself constantly phasing between earths. Initially vexing Robin as The Joker's Daughter, Duela later joined the Teen Titans as Harlequin. A true wild card, demented Duela shuffled between good and evil before being slain by a rogue Monitor agent.
12. Karen Beecher Duncan [Bumblebee] Joined: Teen Titans #48 [1977] Super-smart Karen Beecher created a high-tech Bumblebee suit as part of a ruse to bolster her boyfriend Mal's reputation on the team. As a result, Bumblebee eventually joined the Teen Titans, and later married Mal as well. When exposure to a strange energy shrank her to insect height, Bumblebee joined other freakish heroes as a member of the Doom Patrol.
13. Bette Kane [Bat-Girl/Flamebird] Joined: Teen Titans #50 [1977] as founding member, Titans West An eager Robin fan, tennis pro first Batgirl and founding member of Titans West, it took some time for Bette to finally earn the respect of her Titans teammates
14. Charley Parker [Golden Eagle] Joined: Teen Titans #50 [1977] as founding member, Titans West When teen slacker Charley Parker was mysteriously gifted with Thanagarian battle armor, he thought it would be a good way to earn easy cash as Golden Eagle. Until his death at the hands of the evil Wildebeest Society
15. Garfield Logan [Beast Boy/Changeling] Joined: Teen Titans #50 [1977] as founding member, Titans West Forced to undergo an experimental procedure to save his life, Garfield Logan gained the ability to transform into any sort of animal he could imagine. Green-skinned Garfield found a new family as Beast Boy, a junior member of the Doom Patrol. Beast Boy changed his name to Changeling and later joined the Teen Titans. Known once again as Beast Boy, Gar uses his trademark humor to diffuse the most dire of situations.
Honorary: Tula [Aquagirl] Honorary Member The young orphan Tula was adopted by one the royal families of Atlantis and raised as a princess of Poseidonis. Tula later became Aquagirl when she became romantically involved with Aqualad. Their romance ended tragically when Aquagirl perished during the Crisis of Infinite Earths.
The New Teen Titans [1980-1989]: As the other-wordly demon Trigon threatened to ravage the earth, his mystical daughter Raven gathered a New Teen Titans team to thwart his plans. Former Titans were joined by all-new members and were able to repel Trigon's incursion. The Titans remained a team and grew into adulthood, as many of the teen heroes adopted more adult personas.
16. Raven Joined: DC Comics Presents #26 [1980] Daughter of an earth woman and the demonic Trigon, Raven constantly fights to keep her evil side in check. The empathic mystic sometimes fell to the dark side, but valiantly found her own inner light - oftimes at the expense of her own happiness. Raven later received a second chance at life when she was reborn in a new body.
17. Koriand'r [Starfire] Joined: DC Comics Presents #26 [1980] Young Princess Koriand'r was forced into slavery to save her home planet of Tamaran. Given to the alien Psions for experimentation, Koriand'r acquired solar-channeling abilities that allowed her to blast powerful starfbolts. Once rescued by the Titans, the passionate alien powerhouse - now dubbed Starfire - made earth her second home.
18. Vic Stone [Cyborg/Cyberion] Joined: DC Comics Presents #26 [1980] Once a promising athlete, Vic Stone was severely injured in an explosion, leading his father to save his life through cybernetic implants. A living man-machine, the once-bitter Cyborg learned to accept his new appearance and became a capable hero in his own right.
19. Tara Markov [Terra] Joined: New Teen Titans #30 [1983] Bold and brassy Tara Markov gained earth-manipulating abilities through Markovian scientist Dr. Jace. Adopting the name Terra, the bitter malcontent infiltrated the Titans as a member - while secretly acting as a spy for Deathstroke, the Terminator. After utterly betraying the Titans, Terra's own rage consumed her as she buried herself in a ton of debris.
20. Joseph Wilson [Jericho] Joined: Tales of the Teen Titans #58 [1985] As son of Slade Wilson, Joe Wilson was born with the mutant ability to possess people once he made eye contact. The gentle mute hero known as Jericho joined the Titans despite his familial ties. Long believed slain during an encounter with the Wildebeest Society, Jericho's fractured spirit survived and his body was mystically reborn. The new Vigilante later neutralized the now-insane Jericho by cutting out both his eyes.
Honorary: Kole Weathers [Kole] Honorary Member The gentle crystal spinner Kole Weathers gained powers as a product of her father's bizarre experiments. Kole was rescued by the Titans and grew close to Jericho before her untimely demise in the Crisis on Infinite Earths.
21. Danny Chase Joined: New Teen Titans [2nd] Annual #3 [1987] Telekenetic Danny Chase initially joined with the Titans to rescue his parents, who were government operatives. Danny was dismissed from the Titans because of his immaturity but secretly aided the team as Phantasm, before being slain during the final encounter with the Wildebeest Society.
The New Titans [1990-1996]: As the Titans began to enter their twenties, they dropped the "Teen" and became the New Titans. The team was then thrown into turmoil when the Titans were viciously hunted by the Wildebeest Society. Titans were lost as new allies were found - such as Pantha, Phantasm and Baby Wildebeest. Events became even more complicated when the time-tossed Team Titans from an alternate future emerged. The team remained in flux until Arsenal assembled his own team of Titans after the Zero Hour time crisis. That team soon disbanded.
22. Pantha [X-24, Real Name Unknown] Joined: New Titans #74 [1991] A result of the Wildebeest Society's macabre experiments, shy vet student Rosabelle Mendez was transformed into the were-cat known as Pantha. Suffering amnesia, Pantha long sought the truths behind her origins. Pantha's razor sharp personality was softened when Baby Wildebeest bonded with the ferocious feline as his 'mama.' Pantha and Wildebeest were later tragically killed during the Infinite Crisis.
23. Phantasm [Danny Chase, Souls of Azarath] Joined: New Titans #74 [1991] During the final battle with the Wildebeests, the Souls of Azarath bonded with Arella and Danny Chase to become a true Phantasm. Cold and aloof, the formless telekenetic entity has aided the Titans when needed.
24. Leonid Kovar [Red Star] Joined: New Titans #77 [1991] Leonid Kovar's exposure to a space ship gave him powers - enabling him to become Russia's first young hero as Starfire. Leonid later joined the Titans as Red Star and developed fiery new abilities.
25. Baby Wildebeest Joined: New Titans #85 [1992] The Wildebeest Society's strange experiments led to the creation of an actual Baby Wildebeest. In moments of extreme stress, Baby could transform into a fierce adult Wildebeest creature! Baby quickly bonded with Pantha, who he regarded as his 'mama.' Pantha and Wildebeest were later tragically killed during the Infinite Crisis.
26. Miriam Delgado [Mirage] Joined: first appeared as Team Titan in New Titans #79 [1991] Brazilian Miriam Delgado became the illusion-casting Mirage to repel Lord Chaos' brutal armies. Believing she was from an alternate future, Miri later learned she was implanted with false memories. Mirage left the Titans when she gave birth to her daughter, Julienne.
27. Tara Markov [Terra II ] Joined: first appeared as Team Titan in New Titans #79 [1991] Originating from the underground world of Strata, a young girl was injected with the first Terra's DNA in a mission to protect the earth. But "Tara Markov's" memories became tampered when she became a time-tossed member of the Team Titans. The second Terra feared she was the original Titans' traitor - but ultimately proved her heroism when she sacrificed her life trying to stop Black Adam's worldwide rampage.
28. Dagon [Nightrider] Joined: first appeared as Team Titan in New Titans #79 [1991] Once human, David was transformed into a vampire during one of Lord Chaos' macabre experiments. Adopting the vampiric name of Dagon - and the heroic name of Nightrider - David joined the Team Titans, who helped control his bloodlust. Dagon was erased from time during the Zero Hour time crisis.
29. Charlie Watkins [Killowat] Joined: first appeared as Team Titan in New Titans #79 [1991] Originally a soldier for Lord Chaos, Charlie Watkins realized the error of his ways during an accident with a bank of energy converters. Crackling with electricity, Charlie joined the Team Titans as Killowat! Killowat was erased from time during the Zero Hour time crisis.
30. Carrie Levine [Redwing] Joined: first appeared as Team Titan in New Titans #79 [1991] A mutant born with red wings, Carrie Levine joined the resistance after her parents were slain by Lord Chaos. The avian avenger even became sidekick to the future Nightwing. Redwing was erased from time during the Zero Hour time crisis.
31. Jon Levine [Prestor Jon] Joined: first appeared as Team Titan in New Titans #79 [1991] Brother to Carrie [Redwing] Levine, Jon Levine had the mutant ability to interface with computers. Joining the Teamers after his parents' death, Prestor Jon lost his corporeal form and became a living computer. Prestor Jon was erased from time during the Zero Hour time crisis.
32. Battalion [Real Name Unknown] Joined: first appeared as Team Titan in Team Titans #2 [1992] Battalion became leader to the Team Titans after his own family was brutally slain by Lord Chaos. A self-described "drill sergeant from Hell", battle-worn Battalion trained the Teamers in battle. Battalion was erased from time during the Zero Hour time crisis.
33. Bart Allen [Impulse/Kid Flash] Joined: New Titans #0 [1994] Bart Allen - grandson of the Flash - was born with hyper-velocity and was raised in a virtual reality environment in the far future. Traveling to the past, Bart became the act-before-thinking speedster who was quickly dubbed Impulse. Bart later tried to live down his impulsive ways as Kid Flash when he joined the Teen Titans.
34. Grant Emerson [Damage] Joined: New Titans #0 [1994] The biological son of the original Atom, Grant Emerson was imbued with the DNA of various Golden Age heroes by Vandal Savage. As a teen, Grant's massive energy bursts quickly earned him the name, Damage. After his face was horribly scarred in battle, the troubled teen hero developed a more explosive personality.
35. Kyle Rayner [Green Lantern] Joined: New Titans #116 [1994] Young artist Kyle Rayner was given the last known power ring in the universe and became the newest Green Lantern. As Kyle learned to become a hero, he served as a Titan for a short time.
36. Supergirl [Matrix] Joined: New Titans #121 [1995] A protoplasmic shape-shifter from a pocket universe, Matrix felt most comfortable when she adopted the form of Supergirl. Arsenal invited Supergirl into the ranks of the Titans, where she became a member for a short time.
37. Rose Wilson [Ravager] Joined: New Titans #122 [1995] As daughter to Deathstroke the Terminator, Rose Wilson's ninja-like reflexes were enhanced by flashes of precognition. After mourning her mother's death, Rose was befriended by the Titans. Seeking to reclaim his daughter, Deathstroke brainwashed Rose to become a lethal killer as the new Ravager. After losing her left eye, Ravager broke free from her father and now dispenses her own brand of hard justice.
38. Minion [Jarras Minion] Joined: New Titans #123 [1995] When Jarras Minion's planet of Talyn was destroyed, he escaped using the morphing Omegadrome battlesuit. Raised as a pacifist, Minion was at odds with his desire for revenge. His brief tenure with the Titans taught him a better way to resolve conflicts. After Minion gave the Omegadrome to Cyborg, he returned to the stars.
Teen Titans II [1996-1998]: The second group of Teen Titans were united by a common origin. The sinister H'San Natall alien race produced alien/human half-breeds to act as warrior sleeper agents on Earth. The seedlings - Argent, Risk, Joto and Prysm - were activated on their 16th birthdays. Led by the teenaged Atom, the youths joined under the auspices of former Titans mentor, Loren Jupiter. The team was later joined by Fringe and Captain Marvel Jr. After an outer-space adventure which ended the H'San Natall conflict, the team disbanded.
39. Ray Palmer [Atom] Joined: Teen Titans (second series) #1 [1996] Discovering a fragment of a white dwarf star, scientist Ray Palmer developed technology to grow and shrink as the Atom. When the adult hero was temporarily de-aged to 17 years old by the time villain Extant, he reluctantly joined - and became the leader of - the newest group of Teen Titans.
40. Toni Monetti [Argent] Joined: Teen Titans (second series) #1 [1996] The H'San Natall race produced alien/human hybrids that would be activated with super-human powers on their 16th birthdays. On that day, silver-skinned Toni Monetti learned she had the ability to control bursts of silver plasma energy. Joining the Teen Titans as Argent, Toni evolved from spoiled rich girl to capable heroine.
41. Cody Driscoll [Risk] Joined: Teen Titans (second series) #1 [1996] The H'San Natall race produced alien/human hybrids that would be activated with super-human powers on their 16th birthdays. On that day, Cody 'Risky' Driscoll learned he had fives times the speed, strength and stamina of an average 16 year old. Now dubbed Risk, daredevil Cody joined the Teen Titans. Risk became furious at the world after losing both arms in battle - prompting the teen thrill-seeker to embark on a life of crime.
42. Isaiah Crockett [Joto/Hotspot] Joined: Teen Titans (second series) #1 [1996] The H'San Natall race produced alien/human hybrids that would be activated with super-human powers on their 16th birthdays. On that day, Isaiah Crockett's average middle-class life was shattered when he learned he of his heat-manipulating powers. Taking the name Joto - which is Swahili for 'heat' - Isaiah joined the Teen Titans. Joto later adopted a new codename: Hotspot.
43. Audrey Spears [Prysm] Joined: Teen Titans (second series) #1 [1996] An alien/human hybrid, Prysm grew up as "Audrey Spears" in a virtual reality picture-perfect world based on earth's television shows. The Teen Titans pulled her out and welcomed her into their ranks. Able to absorb and reflect light, Prysm is a force to be reckoned with; But the shy and naïve heroine just wants to fit in.
44. Fringe Joined: Teen Titans (second series) #17 [1998] Abandoned as a child because of his appearance, the man-monster Fringe was raised by an alien H'San Natall entity that became his protector. The monstrous powerhouse was befriended by Prysm and joined the Teen Titans.
45. Freddie Freeman [Captain Marvel, Jr./CM3] Joined: Teen Titans (second series) #17 [1998] Crippled Freddy Freeman can harness a portion of the Shazam power by saying "Captain Marvel." The powerful teen joined the Teen Titans and developed a crush on Argent. Since then, Captain Marvel Jr. has aided the Titans when called.
The Titans [1998-2003]: After rescuing Cyborg from alien programming, the original five Titans decided to reform as a team and welcomed five other members into their ranks. The team confronted the anti-Titans group Tartarus, a new H.I.V.E, Dark Angel and a mysterious group of D.E.O. Orphans. But when Troia and Omen were seemingly slain by a rogue Superman Android, the Titans and Young Justice were so distraught that both teams died that day. Meanwhile, on the West Coast, Beast Boy and Flamebird tried to jump-start a new Titans team known as Titans L.A. - but lack of dedication put an end to the team before it truly began.
46. Jesse Chambers [Jesse Quick] Joined: Titans Secret Files #1 [1999] Jesse Chambers - daughter of Liberty Belle and Jonny Quick - inherited super-powers from her meta-human parents. Able to access super-speed powers with a phrase, Jesse became the heroine known as Jesse Quick. After losing her super-speed powers, Jesse adopted her mother's persona as the new Liberty Belle.
47. 'Hero' Cruz ['Hero'] Joined: Titans Secret Files #2 [2000] as a member of Titans L.A. On an adventure with Superboy and the Ravers, teenager 'Hero' Cruz stole the mystical H-dial from the villainous Scavanger. By dialing H-E-R-O, Hero becomes a different super-powered guise on each mission. The openly gay teenage hero joined the short-lived Titans L.A. Branch before its rapid dissolution.
48. Ryuko Orsono [Bushido] Joined: Titans Secret Files #2 [2000] as a member of Titans L.A. Japanese teenager Ryuko Orsono became the proud Bushido warrior upon his mother's death - fulfilling a long family line of honorable heroes. Bushido briefly joined the short-lived Titans L.A. Branch before his death during the Infinite Crisis.
Teen Titans III [2003-present]: Deciding the next generation of super-heroes needed a place to go, Cyborg, Starfire and Beast Boy created a new Titans Tower headquarters in San Francisco. Joined by Robin III, Superboy, Wonder Girl II and Kid Flash II, they became the latest version of Teen Titans! After Superboy's death during the Infinite Crisis, the team was thrown in turmoil and faced a year of turbulent membership changes. The team remained in constant upheaval until Robin returned and reorganized the Titans into a team, welcoming new members Ravager, Kid Devil, Miss Martian, and Blue Beetle.
49. Tim Drake [Robin III] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #1 [2003] Tim Drake learned the secret identity of Batman and petitioned to become the new Robin. At first reluctant, Batman eventually conceded and trained Tim to become the newest Boy Wonder.
50. Conner Kent [Superboy] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #1 [2003] In an attempt to clone Superman, Cadmus Labs combined the Kryptonian DNA of Superman with the human DNA of Lex Luthor. The impetuous clone escaped the lab and later became known as the hero, Superboy. The Teen of Steel later was welcomed to live in Smallville as "Conner Kent" and joined the Teen Titans while he came to grips with his true lineage.
51. Cassie Sandsmark [Wondergirl II] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #1 [2003] Upon meeting Wonder Woman, teenaged Cassie Sandsmark petitioned Zeus for powers of her own. Little did Cassie know that her true father was Zeus himself! Blessed with powers from the gods, Cassie became Wonder Girl, despite her mother's objections. As Wonder Girl, Cassie has matured from gawky adventurer to self-assured heroine.
52. Mia Dearden [Speedy II] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #21 [2005] Tough-as-nails Mia Dearden was rescued from a life on the streets by Green Arrow. But Mia's past came back to haunt her when she was diagnosed as H.I.V. Positive. Resolved to make a difference, Mia became the newest arrow-slinging heroine as Speedy, sidekick to Green Arrow.
53. Eddie "Gopher" Bloomberg [Kid Devil/Red Devil] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #34 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" ; Edward "Gopher" Bloomberg grew to idolize stuntman Dan Cassidy while working for his aunt's film company. When Dan was magically transformed into Blue Devil, Gopher fashioned his own high-tech super-suit to become Kid Devil, Blue Devil's (unwanted) kid sidekick. Eddie later made a dangerous deal with the devilish trickster, Neron, who transformed him into a honest-to-gosh red-skinned Kid Devil. After proving his mettle with the Teen Titans, Eddie beagn calling himself Red Devil.
54. M'gann M'orzz [Miss Martian ] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #34 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" M'gann M'orzz is an anomoly among her conquering White Martian race; The shape-shifting teen alien rejected her people and found her way to earth. Once there, she modeled herself after the the Justice League's Martian Manhunter as Miss Martian. Adopting the earth name "Megan Morse," the sensitive heroine strives to use her powers for good.
55. Dawn Granger [Dove II] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #34 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" The Lords of Chaos and Order originally granted powers to teen brothers Hank and Don Hall. When the first Dove was killed, his powers transferred to the pragmatic Dawn Granger. As Dove II, Dawn sought out Hawk to became an effective crime-fighting duo until Hawk became corrupted by chaos. Dove II returned from near-death to find a new Hawk in her sister, Holly.
56. Holly Granger [Hawk III] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #34 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" The Lords of Chaos and Order originally granted powers to teen brothers Hank and Don Hall - who were both lost in battle. Now, two sisters wield those same mystical powers - pragmatic Dawn Granger as Dove and her rebellious sister, Holly, as Hawk.
57. Lorena Marquez [Aquagirl II] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #34 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" ; After a genetic anomaly was introduced to the San Diego water supply, the California city sunk into the ocean. Teenager Lorena Marquez soon discovered that her body had been altered to survive the ocean depths. It wasn't long before out-spoken Lorena allied with Aquaman as the newest Aquagirl.
58. Zachary Zatara Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #34 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" As cousin to Zatanna and nephew to the late Zatara, Zachary Zatara had magic in his blood. The teen magician learned that to be true when his latent magic powers sparked as a new age of magic dawned. Now, the spoiled teen magician can get whatever he wants with a simple backwards-speaking incantation.
59. Ernie O'Brian [Offspring] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #34 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" As son of Plastic Man, Luke O'Brian inherited super-stretching powers of his own. Taking the name Offspring, Luke's exploits mix humor and heroism, much like his father. Despite his infectious sense of humor, Offspring wants to prove to the world that he's not just a walking punchline.
60. Amon Tomaz [Osiris] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #38 [2006]: Revealed as member during "missing year" When Amon Tomaz was severely beaten and crippled by the criminal cartel known as Intergang, Black Adam gifted the Egyptian teen with a portion of his magical abilities. Taking the name Osiris, Amon summoned the power of the gods by speaking "Black Adam." Tragically, Osiris was later devoured by his "friend", the lizard-creature known as Sobek.
60. Power Boy Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #38 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" Raised on the hellish world of Apokolips, a power-enhanced boy learned his superhuman abilities were fueled by the emotions of others. Originally an agent of Darkseid, the teen abandoned the demonic despot when he fell in love with Supergirl. Assuming the name “Power Boy,†he became a Teen Titan only to be slain in battle.
61. Little Barda Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #38 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" Hailing from the brutal world of Apokolips, Little Barda made her way to earth and joined the Teen Titans for a brief time.
62. Amy Allen [Bombshell] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #38 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" Facing jail, small-time criminal Amy Allen was recruited into a rogue military black ops unit. Grafted with extra-terrestrial metal and given military training, Amy was transformed into the quantum-wielding powerhouse known as Bombshell. Reckless as her namesake, Bombshell is learning to keep explosive personality in check.
63. Mas Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #38 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" Mas Y Menos are a pair of hyper-active high-speed twins. When connected by holding hands, the Spanish-speaking heroes can reach super-sonic speeds! But knock them apart, and they are just normal teenage boys.
64. Menos Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #38 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" Mas Y Menos are a pair of hyper-active high-speed twins. When connected by holding hands, the Spanish-speaking heroes can reach super-sonic speeds! But knock them apart, and they are just normal teenage boys.
65. Riddler's Daughter/Enimga Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #38 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" Fancying herself the "Riddler's Daughter," the inquisitive teen briefly joined the Teen Titans. After changing her name to Enigma, she defected to join Deathstroke's nefarious Titans East. Her true parentage and history are as puzzling as her namesakes.
66. Talon Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #38 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" On the parallel world known as Earth-3, evil versions of the Justice League use their human abilities to terrorize the planet. As an evil analogue to Batman, Owlman likewise adopted a young Robin-like sidekick named Talon. After Talon betrayed his mentor by falling in love with Joker's Daughter, he fled Earth-3 for another earth.
67. Molecule Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #38 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" The super-shrinking adventurer known as Molecule joined the Teen Titans for a short time after the events of Infinite Crisis. Molecule was later murdered by the Terror Titans.
68. Young Frankenstein Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #38 [2006]; Revealed as member during "missing year" The teenaged man-monster known as Young Frankenstein joined the Teen Titans for a short time after the events of Infinite Crisis. The creature's heroism later led to his death at the hands of Black Adam. But a bolt of lightning revived the behemoth - and Young Frankenstein was free to walk the earth once more.
69. Anima Joined: Teen Titans East Special #1 [2007] A bite from an alien parasite utterly transformed runaway teenager Courtney Mason - allowing her to channel the Animus, a living embodiment of mankind's rage. Courtney then became the wandering heroine known as Anima, helping those in need by calling upon the fearsome force inside her. Anima was later slain while battling Prometheus.
70. Son of Vulcan Joined: Teen Titans East Special #1 [2007] Shortly after Vulcan recruited orphan Miguel "Mikey" Devante as his sidekick, the flame-wielding hero was slain by an evil White Martian. Before he died, Vulcan gifted his fire-based powers to Mikey and equipped the inexperienced hero with an arsenal of weaponry. In honor of his fallen mentor, Mikey has sworn to continue the legacy of the Son of Vulcan!
71. Lagoon Boy Joined: Teen Titans East Special #1 [2007] Though young and slight of build, the aquatic young mutant known as Lagoon Boy can inflate his body like a puffer fish to intimidate predators and foes. His love for the surface world united him in friendship with the mutated whale, Bludder, and the Trironian mermaid, Sheeva. Eventually, Lagoon Boy's travels led him to meet other teen heroes and become part of their community.
72. Kara Zor-El [Supergirl] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #50 [2007] Kara Zor-El was sent to Earth in a rocket ship at roughly the same time as her cousin, Kal-El, but aged at a slower rate in suspended animation. Years after Kal-El became Superman, Kara crashed to Earth and soon adopted the name Supergirl. Despite her stong-willed bravado, the Kryptonian teen is still trying to discover what she wants to be.
73. Jaime Reyes [Blue Beetle] Joined: Teen Titans (third series) #61 [2008] When the mystic scarab of the Blue Beetle fused to the spine of Jaime Reyes, a new Blue Beetle was born! The Texas teen learned the alien artifact could expand to create a super-powered carapace around his body, enabling him to become El Paso's super-powered protector from threats both criminal and magical.
Titans Allies: Over the years, the Titans have amassed a set of friends and allies in their never-ending battle against evil. Some have been lost in battle and others still aid the Titans when called.
Loren Jupiter First Allied: Teen Titans #25 [1970] Wealthy philanthropist Loren Jupiter funded the original Titans team for a time - as well as Atom's Teen Titans much later. Jupiter later was revealed as the father of Titans' psychic Lilith Clay and Titans' foe, the illusion-casting Haze.
The Doom Patrol First Allied: The Doom Patrol #104 [1966] Victims of cruel fate, three individuals were given strange powers that made them outcasts from society. United by their wheelchair-bound leader known as "The Chief," the oddball adventurers - Robotman, Elasti-Girl and Negative Man - became underground heroes as the Doom Patrol! Although the membership has changed through the years, the Doom Patrol has always offered freakish pariahs the chance to become heroes.
Steve Dayton [Mento/Crimelord] First Allied: New Teen Titans #13-15 [1981-1982] Smitten with Elasti-Girl of the Doom Patrol, millionaire inventor Steve Dayton fashioned a psionic helmet and became the self-styled super-hero, Mento. Elasti-Girl and Mento wed - and adopted Beast Boy as their son. Although the Mento helmet has pushed him to the brink of insanity, Dayton has learned to tame his inner demons.
Arella [Angela Roth] First Allied: New Teen Titans #5 [1980] Impregnated by the demon Trigon, Angela Roth found refuge in the peaceful city of Azarath, where she adopted the name, Arella. There, she gave birth to Raven and protected her from Trigon's evil. Arella's devotion to her daughter led to her death during an encounter with the Wildebbest Society.
Frances Kane [Magenta] First Allied: New Teen Titans #17 [1982] When Frances Kane's magnetic powers manifested, the insecure teen believed she was possessed by demons. Her childhood sweetheart, Wally West, pulled her back from the brink of insanity. Frances later adopted a meta-human persona as Magenta, but found her powers fractured her mind - violently shifting her personality from positive to negative.
Adrian Chase [Vigilante] First Allied: New Teen Titans Annual #2 [1983] When his family was brutally killed by mobsters, District Attorney Adrian Chase took the law into his own hands as the gun-toting Vigilante. As Vigilante's methods became more extreme, Chase entered into a state of self-loathing and took his own life.
Jason Hart [The Protector] First Allied: The New Teen Titans #1 (Drug Awareness Giveaway) [1983] High school student Jason Hart became alarmed at the nation's growing drug problem. Allied with the Teen Titans, resourceful Jason became the crime-fighter known as The Protector and took to the streets to wage a war on illegal narcotics.
Gan and Tavis Williams [Thunder & Lightning] First Allied: New Teen Titans #32 [1983] The offspring of a Vietnamese woman and an alien entity, Gan and Tavis Williams manifested uncontrollable elemental powers. Dubbed Thunder & Lightning, the Teen Titans and S.T.A.R. Labs contained the duo and uncovered the truths behind their origins. Since then, the elemental twins have become trusted allies to the Titans as well as protectors of S.T.A.R. Labs.
Adeline Kane Wilson First Allied: Tales of the Teen Titans #42-44, Annual #3 [1984] The ex-wife of the mercenary, Deathstroke, Adeline Kane formed her own detective agency, Searchers, Inc. Adeline was mother to the Titan, Jericho as well as Titans' foe, The Ravager. After a blood transfusion from Deathtroke, Adeline gained immortal powers and was driven insane. Addie later became Mistress of the criminal organization, H.I.V.E., and was destroyed in battle.
Azrael [Real Name Unknown] First Allied: Tales of the Teen Titans #52 [1985] When a mysterious winged alien was unthawed from a block of ice, he immediately fell in love with Lilith Clay. When Lilith left, the distraught alien became duped into Brother Blood's cult - where he was given the name, Azrael. Eventually freed from Blood's thrall, Azrael once again flies free.
Jason Todd [Robin II] First Allied: New Teen Titans (second series) #19-21 [1986]
After attempting to steal the wheels off the Batmobile, brash street urchin Jason Todd met the Batman. Becoming the second Robin, Jason's fiery temperament led to his apparent death at the hands of the Joker. But Jason has returned from death to wage a violent war on crime on his own terms.
Chris King [Dial "H" for HERO] First Allied: New Teen Titans (second series) #45-46 [1988] When Chris King and Vicki Grant stumbled upon two mystical dials, they discovered they could transform into a different super-powered persona each time they dialed H-E-R-O! When Vicki went rogue, Chris sought the Titans for help. Since then, King has learned to internalize his transformations and aids the Titans when called.
Slade Wilson [Deathstroke, The Terminator] First Allied: New Titans #71 [1990] A hard-edged mercenary, Slade Wilson, a.k.a. Deathstroke the Terminator, fulfilled any contract he undertook. The chemically-enhanced assassin accepted the contract to kill the Titans on his dead son's behalf. But when Slade's attempts to kill the Titans led to ruin, he abandoned the contract and even became their ally on occasion. After losing those close to him, Slade returned to his violent ways.
William Randolph Wintergreen First Allied: Tales of the Teen Titans #42-44, Annual #3 [1984] Slade Wilson disobeyed orders to save the life of British soldier, William Randolph Wintergreen - earning a debt Wintergreen intended to repay in kind. Wintergreen catalogued Slade's exploits as the mercenary, Deathstroke the Terminator, often serving as his moral conscience. Wintergreen's devotion to Slade ultimately led to his death.
Pat Trayce [Vigilante II] First Allied: Deathstroke #6-9 [1991-1992] Tough Gotham Detective Pat Trayce - frustrated with the revolving-door justice system - became the Vigilante in an effort to punish the man who killed her partner. Trained by Deathstroke, Vigilante found herself in a tumultuous on-again/off-again affair with the famed mercenary. Trayce also runs a search & rescue operation known as Vigilance.
Sarge Steel First Allied: New Titans #100 [1993] Sarge Steel earned his nickname when the tough soldier's hand was replaced with a steel alloy appendage after a rigged hand grenade cost him his left hand. Steel later became a high ranking government operative in both the Central Bureau of Intelligence and Checkmate. When the government assumed control of the New Titans, Sarge Steel often clashed with then-leader, Arsenal.
Neil Richards [Mad Mod] First Allied: Teen Titans (second series) #2 [1996] The madcap Mad Mod clashed with the original Teen Titans when the outrageous villain attempted to use his clothing design label as a smuggling operation. The criminal of Carnaby Street eventually reformed and befriended Titans' mentor, Loren Jupiter.
Sasha Martens and Wiley Wolverman [Hawk & Dove III] First Allied: JLA/Titans #1-3 [1998] Army brat Sasha Martens and laidback musician Wiley Wolverman had only one thing in common: Both were part of a secret government experiment designed to genetically engineer meta-humans. Now sprouting wings at will and powered with sonic shrieks, the mismatched duo became the newest Hawk & Dove.
Epsilon [Real Name Unknown] First Allied: Titans #21-22 [2000] The Department of Extranormal Operations [D.E.O.] established an orphanage full of super-powered young charges. The psychotic orphan known as Epsilon was possessed by fellow orphan, Kevin Tanaka, who secured safe haven for his friends at Titans Tower. After the real Epsilon burst free, he destroyed the tower in a battle that seemingly claimed his own life as well.
The D.E.O. Orphans [Grace, Zeke, Eli, Scrap, Nikki and Kevin] First Allied: Titans #27-29 [2001] Six meta-human orphans - Grace, Zeke, Eli, Scrap, Nikki and Kevin - fled the Department of Extranormal Operations [D.E.O.] to secure safe haven at Titans Tower headquarters. The plan backfired when Epsilon emerged and destroyed Titans Tower, resulting in the death of D.E.O. orphan, Kevin Tanaka. After that tragedy, Nightwing intervened on their behalf, and the kids returned to a restructured D.E.O. Orphanage.
Krypto First Allied: Teen Titans #7 [2004] Rescued from an alternate universe, the Kryptonian canine known as Krypto was brought back to earth by Superman. After a disasterous stay in Metropolis, Superboy was charged to care for the super-pup.
Wendy & Marvin First Allied: Teen Titans #34 [2006] The clever criminal known as The Calculator fathered twin children, Wendy and Marvin, both of whom shared his advanced intellect. The super-smart siblings acted as caretakers to the Titans Tower after they graduated M.I.T. on their sixteenth birthday - until Marvin was slain by King Lycus' vicious hellhound.
Atlee [Terra III ] First Allied: Terror Titans #1 [2008] Born in the underground world of Strata, young Atlee possessed earth-manipulating abilities unique to her people. Destined to protect Strata's future, optimistic Atlee journeyed to the surface to defend the earth as Terra.
#new teen titans#teen titans#nightwing#dick grayson#teen titans 2003#dc#dc comics#wally west#roy harper#donna troy#troia#raven#cyborg#changeling#garfield logan#victor stone#koriand'r#princess koriandr#kori anders#titans west#bette kane#argent#toni monetti#prysm#risk#cody driscoll#conner kent#kon el#kon el superboy#young justice
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1968 [Chapter 12: Aphrodite, Goddess Of Love] [Series Finale]
A/N: Surprise!!! A new chapter from Maggie?? On a Thursday?? I was just too excited to wait! Please enjoy the final installment of 1968 🥰💜
Series Summary: Aemond is embroiled in a fierce battle to secure the Democratic Party nomination and defeat his archnemesis, Richard Nixon, in the presidential election. You are his wife of two years and wholeheartedly indoctrinated into the Targaryen political dynasty. But you have an archnemesis of your own: Aemond’s chronically delinquent brother Aegon.
Series Warnings: Language, sexual content (18+ readers only), violence, bodily injury, character deaths, New Jersey, age-gap relationships, drinking, smoking, drugs, pregnancy and childbirth, kids with weird Greek names, historical topics including war and discrimination, math.
Word Count: 6k
💜 All of my writing can be found HERE! 💜
The sun is rising, and all the guests have dissipated like morning stars. You and Aegon are sitting across from each other at the table in the kitchenette of your suite, cool grey morning light slanting into the silence, confetti on the floor, broken glass, crumbs from the catered appetizers—gyros, hummus, pita, mini spanakopitas, baklava—stomped into the carpet, spots that are soggy with spilled champagne. The Plaza might have to replace it. Outside, rain falls in a mist. Your makeup is smudged; your hair is falling out of its clips and pins. Aemond is waiting, standing with his back to the wall and his arms crossed over his chest, blonde hair slicked back, blue suit, prosthetic eye filling the void in his skull. You know what happens next, but you can’t bring yourself to rise, to speak, to set it into motion. You stare down at the lines in the palm of your uninjured hand and think of the ropes of a sailboat, the invisible strings of gravity that enchain the universe.
Aegon swipes at his eyes: bloodshot, vacant, continuously streaming tears. “I’m gonna go back to Yuma.”
You look up at him, startled. “Right now?”
“Right now,” Aemond agrees from the wall.
Aegon begs you in a hoarse whisper, eyes dark and glistening like the Atlantic at night: “Come with me.”
Your hands shaking, your voice splintering. “I can’t, Aegon. I can’t.”
He drums his knuckles on the table, gets up from his chair, rushes to you before Aemond can stop him. He’s holding you, his lips to your forehead, the salt of his tears on your cheeks and your lips, like the ocean is bleeding out of him, like he’ll drown you. “I’m sorry,” he says, breath catching in his throat, his pores hemorrhaging smoke, horror, rum, ruin.
Once you pushed Aegon away, hated him, stained him with your husband’s blood. Now your fingernails hook like claws into his army jacket and cling there, frantic and childlike. “Not yet, please, Aegon, don’t go, please don’t go.”
“I have to, I’m sorry.”
“Aegon, no–”
“I’m so fucking sorry.” He’s sobbing, he’s trembling, he’s gone. The doorway is empty like an unfinished sentence, like a myth no one remembers. The silence floods back into the rain-grey November air. The room is cold like a mausoleum. You touch your own face: tears Aegon left there, muscles and nerves dead beneath your skin, disbelief you sink through like the sea, waiting to hit the floor deep with the silt of rocks and wreckage and bones.
He’s gone? He’s really gone?
Aemond stalks over to the table, smirking, radiant, his hands in the pockets of his suit; he takes his time, he savors it. He’s never been higher. He was right all along. He can’t be killed, he is destined to be the president. It is God’s will. “Get ready,” Aemond says. “I have a victory speech to make.”
~~~~~~~~~~
He heads west on Route 70, billboards and drive-thrus, toll booths and reflective green mile markers, the kids fighting over who gets to pick the radio station from the back of the Dodge A-100 that Otto had hastily procured, handing over the keys as Aegon rolled his suitcase out of the Plaza Hotel. That first night they stop in Wheeling, Ohio, and the kids have startlingly little resistance to this upheaval. They can’t find much to complain about. A road trip with Dad and only Dad, no journalists badgering them for photos or quotes, no orders barked from Otto or Aemond, no exacting campaign itinerary, no scripted propriety, Mountain Dew spills on the carpet, Pizza Hut boxes on cheap springy motel mattresses.
“What do you think about all this?” Aegon asks Orion when the younger ones have dozed off: Cosmo and Thaddeus on one bed, Violeta in another, Spiro lounging across the threadbare sofa with a copy of The Fellowship of the Ring resting open on his chest.
Orion shrugs, that adolescent aversion to vulnerability, like the whole world is out to shake you down for evidence of the defections you’re so convinced define you. “It’s cool, I guess. It’s like an adventure. And we’ll get to see you a lot more.”
“Yeah you will,” Aegon promises. He feels sick: no booze, no pills, the grease of pepperoni churning in his belly. “And I’m never gonna be the way I was before.”
The bathroom is tiny and spartan, white porcelain, black specks of mildew. When he’s done showering, Aegon wipes the fog off the mirror with his fist. In Ancient Greece, a shaved head was the mark of a slave; it was meant to strip the man of his past, to make him brand new. He remembers Aemond saying this one afternoon as they were all out sailing at Asteria, Aegon sprawled on his back and drinking rum from the bottle as beams of sunlight refracted through the glass, Aemond leafing through one of his history books, Helaena throwing bits of pita to the seagulls, Daeron peering through his telescope for glimpses of dolphins, sharks, bobbing treasure from shipwrecks, imagined enemy vessels. Aegon thinks as he studies his reflection under the harsh fluorescent lights—crinkles by his eyes, skin ravaged by years of careless sunburn—that he wouldn’t mind not having a past. He opens his shaving kit and takes out the straight razor he never uses, shears off his tangled, windswept locks of blonde hair, smiles when the kids laugh and call him Yul Brynner the next morning over breakfast at the diner beside the motel, blueberry pancakes and toast wet with egg yolks. He’s not brand new; it’s impossible to be. But he’s getting closer.
The Fort Yuma Indian Reservation has grown during the Kennedy and Johnson years. The tribe now enjoys a steady income from numerous projects, including the leasing of farmland, a convenience store, a casino and resort, and an RV park. The school has been rebuilt—bigger, more modern, air conditioning, hallelujah—since Aegon was first exiled here twenty years ago, but several of the employees have familiar faces, and the current principal was once an English teacher assigned to be his mentor, a different lifetime, an ancient myth.
“You look good,” Artie says as he descends the concrete front steps on an afternoon in mid-November, 75 degrees, bright cerulean sky, no clouds. He takes Aegon’s outstretched hand and shakes it. “Kind of fat, but good. You still play guitar?”
“I do, yeah. I have one in the back of my van right now.”
Artie glances at the giggling, waving children behind the glass windows. “Jesus Pleasus, how many kids you got?”
Aegon chuckles. “Five, I think.”
“Five! Well, they’re welcome to attend here, if you want them to be where you are.”
“That’s a very generous offer. They’ve never gone to a real school before. They had private tutors in New Jersey.”
“What a great way to raise jackasses, if you ask me.” Artie gives him a stern look over, wrinkled brow, narrowed brown eyes. “You sober?”
“No pills, no drinking, occasional weed.”
“Goddamn, that’s a lot better than I expected.”
“Hey Artie?”
“Uh huh.”
“Would you happen to need a math teacher?”
Artie studies him thoughtfully. “I mean, we’re always looking for qualified math and science people. They leave the quickest, those aerospace and electronics companies over in California pay too much. Why? You know someone?”
“I used to,” Aegon says, then motions for his kids to get out of the van. Artie lets them eat ice cream in the cafeteria while Aegon signs his contract.
He’s in Yuma for three weeks before he meets a girl. Her name is Rachel, and she’s a dream that walked out of the Summer Of Love: hair down to her waist, boots to her knees, handknit vests, chipped nail polish and teasing smiles, a taste for sun and smoking. At night they sit under the stars behind Aegon’s bungalow out in the desert, roasting marshmallows and hotdogs with the kids, Aegon strumming his guitar, Rachel playing her harmonica, a few homely adopted mutts loping around instead of purebred Alopekis. She likes him, this boyish sunbeam of a man who always seems just a little lost, a little sad. She might even love him.
And yet there are ghosts, beasts, threads the fates have not yet severed. One night in January after the kids have gone to sleep, Aegon is flipping through television channels as Rachel returns to the couch with a bowl full of Jiffy Pop, plops down onto the cushions, curls up against him. Aegon stumbles upon CBS Evening News, a clip from the inauguration, and his words vanish mid-sentence, his eyes—an opaque, stormy, melancholic sort of blue—growing wide. He doesn’t change the channel. He doesn’t move at all.
“What?” Rachel asks. On the screen is a clip of President Targaryen being sworn in, his wife at his side and cradling the Bible in her hands. She’s wearing Oscar de la Renta—a powder blue wool coat that matches her husband’s tie—and a stately new hairstyle that is very distinctly inspired by Jackie Kennedy. Her smile is serene and dignified, if perhaps a bit remote. She could be a marble statue in a garden or a museum. It must be a lot of pressure for her, Rachel thinks. To live up to being the partner of a man that remarkable. “Aegon? Baby, are you okay?”
After a long time Aegon says, very softly, like it’s only to himself: “He made her cut her hair.”
Rachel stares mystified at the television and then turns back to Aegon. “What happened with her?” Something must have. He looks staggered, he looks haunted, he looks like someone Medusa turned to stone. Rachel knows about who Aegon is, of course, everyone does; but he never wants to talk about it. When people mention his family, Aegon smiles politely and then changes the subject. When they ask about his sister-in-law, he says he needs a cigarette and walks out of the room. She sent him a beautiful, shimmering gold acoustic Gibson guitar for Christmas; the first lady’s name was on the return address. To Rachel’s knowledge, Aegon never thanked her.
Aegon shakes his head, and Rachel can’t tell if that means the story is too long or too short, unrealized potential, loose kaleidoscopic strands of stardust, infinitesimal moments that wouldn’t have meaning to anyone else. “Nothing.” Then he resumes switching channels: I Dream of Jeannie, Bewitched, the Newlywed Game.
~~~~~~~~~~
Your parents fly north for the inauguration, so proud, so effusive, interviewed by every major news network. Business is booming at the Spongeorama Sponge Factory back in Tarpon Springs. They are seated between Alicent and Ludwika’s mother Elzbieta, newly arrived from Poland. LBJ and Lady Bird are cordial but uncharacteristically understated, retreating back to their home state of Texas like kicked dogs. All the defeated adversaries of the campaign trail attend to show their support, to wordlessly plead for a long-awaited national reconciliation. George Wallace won’t meet your eyes. Richard Nixon whispers through your hair as he clasps your scarred hand: “Aemond could never have done this without you.”
Jackie Kennedy’s chosen cause as first lady was the restoration of the White House, Lady Bird’s was environmental protection. You want to visit schools and help teach math to little kids, but Aemond decides it would be more politically expedient for you to be seen tending to wounded veterans of Vietnam; so you spend many of your days in hospitals, inhaling charred flesh and Lysol and dying flowers and blood. The Japanese ambassador bows lower to you than he does to Aemond. The prime minister of France tries (unsuccessfully) to flirt with you. Athenagoras I of Constantinople, the Archbishop of the Greek Orthodox Church, brings you a komboskini he has blessed. Reprieves come in slivers like a disappearing moon: lunches with Fosco–carpaccio, caprese, bolognese, polenta–and drinks with Ludwika, always something with rum, something that tastes like Aegon. You dream of incubators and arterial spray, stitches and scars and crimson bandages, the flash of blades, the thunder of bullets; but the would-be assassins go to prison and no one else ever tries. You are Persephone in the Underworld. You are Io in the wilderness.
You are just beginning to panic about what you’ll do when your tiny pink birth control pills run out when Fosco shows up to one of your lunches with a paper bag full of familiar circular packets. “I have been informed that I am to be your dealer,” he says, grinning. “I will be back with more in six months. I told the doctor they were for my mistress. I don’t even have a mistress! Isn’t this exciting? I am like a secret agent. I am the Italian James Bond. The name’s Viviani, Fosco Viviani.”
“Aegon asked you to do this?”
“Well, he did not ask, exactly. I do not think I was allowed to say no.”
You hide the paper bag in the Louis Vuitton purse Ludwika bought you, so thankful you don’t have words for it, missing Aegon like Orpheus missed Eurydice, searching through the shade-haunted grey haze of the Underworld for her.
“It was odd,” Fosco says quietly, delicately. “He did not want to know anything about you. He asked if you needed anything else that I was aware of, I said no, and then he hung up when I started to tell him about Christmas dinner.”
You remember Aegon’s words, ghosts from where Long Beach Island meets the Atlantic Ocean: Mimi wasn’t as strong as you. Maybe what Aegon didn’t say is that he isn’t either. You imagine the fates snipping threads, the memoryless oblivion offered by the River Lethe, moons becoming greater and lesser. He has to try to forget you. You have to let him.
On Valentine’s Day weekend, Daeron comes home. He and John McCain are the last two men freed from the prisoner of war camp known as the Hanoi Hilton. When he steps off the plane, Daeron is carrying with him, of all things, a single white rat in a wire cage. The first question he asks, after being engulfed in embraces from Alicent, Criston, and Fosco, is: “Where’s Aegon?” And he knows from the stilted, piecemeal explanations he receives that something has happened. You take Daeron to breakfast the next morning, and you don’t tell him everything, but you tell him enough. He spends a month recuperating at Asteria, then follows Zephyr, the god of the west wind, across the country to Arizona.
Aegon didn’t send you anything for Christmas, and he didn’t respond to the guitar you gifted him with Ludwika’s assistance. But on July 13th, a green envelope arrives in your mail basket with no return address. You open it to find a greeting card with an exuberant cow on the front. Inside, the original message—You’re mooooooving on up in the world! Happy retirement!—has been crossed out with black ink. You laugh, your first real laugh in weeks, and then read what Aegon has written in his chaotic, scribbling penmanship:
I thought this was blank :)
Hope you’re doing okay. You look great on tv.
Then there is an expanse of open white space, like a weighty hesitation. There’s no signature, but there is one final note like a postscript.
Thank you for the guitar, but please don’t send anything else. It fucks me up, you know?
Yes, you do know. Aegon never calls you, but Cosmo does. Once or twice a week he dials your private line at the White House–Aegon must have asked Fosco for it–and tells you all about his new life in Yuma, his school, his friends, the dogs, the desert. Aegon’s met someone named Rachel; Cosmo mentions her intermittently yet with unmistakable fondness: “Rachel makes the best s’mores,” “Rachel told me about seeing Jimi Hendrix at Woodstock,” “Rachel took us to pick pumpkins for Halloween.” You’re glad Cosmo calls, and you’re glad he’s happy; but afterwards you always feel so indescribably, irredeemably sad.
You sneak your pills and avoid Aemond as much as you can, something that becomes easier as he spends long hours reviewing briefs in the Oval Office, preparing speeches, meeting foreign dignitaries, strategizing with his cabinet, and scheming against his conservative foes across the nation, a faction soon led by California governor Ronald Reagan. You stand perfectly still as designers alter Chanel and Yves Saint Laurent and Givenchy to fit you like woolen armor. You strike up a chaste, harmless flirtation with a Secret Service agent from Atlanta named Nathaniel, not because he reminds you of Aegon—Nate is 6’4, 250 pounds, and a former Navy SEAL—but because he listens, because he is kind. He gives you riveting summaries of films and books that are considered too scandalous for you to be seen enjoying. He makes fun of your matronly skirt suits. He takes you to get lemon-lime Mr. Mistys at Dairy Queen. He massages your scarred hand with rose oil.
In May of 1969, Aemond voices support for university students across the nation protesting in favor of increased Black faculty and Africana Studies courses. In July, the Apollo 11 mission lands the first men on the moon, effectively ending the Space Race with an American victory. In September, Lieutenant William Calley receives a sentence of life in prison for his role in the My Lai Massacre the previous year. In November, the Rolling Stones release a new album entitled Let It Bleed. Ludwika gives you the record for Christmas along with an array of perfumes and lipsticks, all extravagantly packaged in a pink Gucci gift box. Your favorite song is Gimme Shelter. You listen to it at dusk in the Jacqueline Kennedy Garden, your chair facing west, taking slow drags off Lucky Strike cigarettes that Nate buys for you, embers glowing as the sun disappears.
“What’s out there?” Nate asks you one night with a slinky half-grin, and then when you don’t immediately answer: “You’re always looking that way. What are you looking for?”
You don’t know what to tell him. Nothing. Everything. Something that almost happened. And slowly, under a lavender twilight peppered with the remote glimmers of constellations—stars that cannot be changed, disasters predestined since before you were born—Nate’s smile dies, and he never asks again.
~~~~~~~~~~
Three time zones away, Aegon’s hair grows out and he gets his ears re-pierced, tiny gold hoops that make him think of wedding rings. Rachel pretends she doesn’t want to get married. Aegon doesn’t offer. Once in a while after the kids have gone to bed, he climbs into the hammock in the backyard and smokes a joint, staring absently into the east as the new Rolling Stones album spins on the record player. Aegon’s favorite song is You Can’t Always Get What You Want. Rachel stands at the telescope they set up for the kids—Cosmo’s idea—and stargazes, making her way down a checklist of visible celestial objects.
One night Aegon asks as she’s squinting through the eyepiece: “Where’s Jupiter?”
Rachel glances over at him, then points up at the indigo sky. “It’s that one, the really bright spot near Perseus. Why?”
Aegon shrugs, exhaling smoke. “No reason,” he says; but he’s still looking at Jupiter, wounded, stoned wonder floating on the surface of his watery eyes.
Daeron settles down in Yuma and buys a ranch. He does some work at the VA Hospital a few hours away in Tucson, some white water rafting on the Colorado River, some hiking in the Kofa National Wildlife Refuge, a whole lot of roughhousing with his niece and nephews. John McCain, now a war hero and national celebrity, is always calling to see if Daeron has decided to run for office yet. A few times a year, they receive visitors from the East Coast: Alicent, Criston, Ludwika, Helaena, Fosco, and their three children. The president and first lady are not mentioned unless by accident. The kids adore their grandmother, and she loves them back, although Alicent never learns to appreciate Tessarion the rat and refuses to hold her. In 1970, Helaena and Fosco have one last baby, a daughter they name Marina after Mimi. Life goes on, but the ghosts remain.
On a chilly evening in January of 1972, Aegon is flipping through television channels when he lands on an NBC segment about First Lady Targaryen touring the Walter Reed National Military Medical Center in Bethesda, Maryland. “That’s so fucked up,” Aegon murmurs as she calmly soothes the suffering of mutilated men, and his voice is dark with scorching, clandestine fury. He gestures to the screen with the remote control. “She hates hospitals. He makes her do things that hurt her. He does it just to prove he can.”
Rachel says as she stands in the threshold between the living room and the kitchen, a question she has finally worked up the courage to ask: “No one is ever going to be able to compare to her, right?”
Aegon opens his mouth to protest, and then closes it again. And something washes over him like waves of the ocean, sun on sand, poison in the blood and the lungs, myths that carve themselves into your bones so deep you can see the red of the marrow underneath. He replies truthfully, his eyes still on the screen: “Right.”
Rachel packs her bags. Aegon gets up to help her. He feels it’s the least he can do.
~~~~~~~~~~
When you and Aemond return to Asteria for summer vacations, the seaside Targaryen compound is full of ghosts. You catch glimpses of Mimi stumbling up staircases, Cosmo trotting after you as you turn corners, Aegon smoking a joint under the statue of Zeus in Helaena’s garden. You open cabinets and bottles of his pills fall out. You see Sunfyre bobbing abandoned in the boathouse. The basement is just as Aegon left it. Sometimes you go down there and stand on the green shag carpet in the hushed, cool, damp emptiness, not knowing what you’re waiting for, staring at the wall until someone comes to look for you.
“What’s in these?” Nate asks one afternoon, snatching a notebook off the shelf. “Oh wow, look!” He shows you messy sketches in black ink, cartoon versions of the stories of Greek gods and goddesses, myths reimagined. “Who do you think drew them?”
“Maybe Daeron,” you reply, but it wasn’t him. You’d know Aegon’s handwriting anywhere. Nate leafs through a bunch of the notebooks, booming laughter—he especially enjoys that Poseidon has been characterized as a sexually insatiable dolphin—and reading his favorite parts out loud to you. One notebook is only half-full; the last few pages are covered with drawings of tiny cows, telephones with long spiral cords, the moon in all its phases. You tear these out to keep.
On each July 13th, there is a card with no return address waiting in your mail basket at the White House, always featuring a jovial cow, always making you smile. You entrust Nate with the task of hiding the notebook pages and greeting cards away somewhere safe, an arrangement he honors like an oath.
Every so often, when you feel lethal bitterness kindling, you are struck by the inspiration to find Aemond’s Ouija board. It must be here in the White House someplace, but you can’t figure out where. You search the bedrooms, rummage through closets, climb into the oak cabinets beneath bathroom sinks; you scrabble around like a rodent under the cover of darkness while Aemond is away on state visits and campaign rallies for fellow Democrats. Maybe he makes secret stops in Tacoma or Seattle. If he does, you don’t care. You’d rather Aemond be there than here.
In the spring of 1972, you find the Ouija board in a drawer of the Resolute desk, where Aemond conducts official business in the Oval Office. “Oh, that is insane,” you say to yourself as you slide it out. You mean to burn it in your bedroom fireplace, then think again. On the back of the board, the inscription has faded, as if traced by Aemond’s fingertips again and again.
If I destroy this, what will he do to Aegon and his children? What will he do to me?
You place the Ouija board back where you found it, slide the drawer shut, and crawl into bed, besieged by dreams of smoke and rum and the rumbling bass of Season Of The Witch.
Aemond’s national approval rating hovers between 55-70%—far about the historical average, although he never stops pining for an heir and proper first family to maximize his allure—until May of 1972, when the tide begins to turn. The treaty formally ending U.S. involvement in the war was signed back in early 1969, but the hasty troop withdrawal left capitalist South Vietnam vulnerable, and now it is being invaded by the communists backed by China and Russia. The Fall of Saigon is immortalized in the evening news, printed on the covers of newspapers; people who once collaborated with the Americans are shot dead in the streets. Refugees flee west to Laos and Cambodia and Thailand, east on makeshift rafts into the ocean. The few that Aemond manages to hurriedly admit into the U.S. inspire racism and xenophobia from suburbanites. Many of the hippies have grown up, had children, gotten jobs, settled down with credit cards and mortgages. Protestors march with signs out on Pennsylvania Avenue: America abandons her allies! Our global reputation is in peril! Will the communists invade here next? What did my son die for?
“They wanted me to end it,” Aemond marvels as he gazes out the White House windows. “They begged for me to end it, and now look at them. Ungrateful imbecile bastards.”
And you give him a rare piece of advice that he listens to: “You should call LBJ.”
On his ranch fifty miles outside of Austin, Texas, Lyndon Baines Johnson is dying of heart failure. Still, he smokes more or less constantly, and refuses to adhere to the diet Lady Bird fretfully lectures their chefs about. He has grown his grey hair long and sits for as many interviews as he can, desperate to salvage his legacy and remind people of the things he did right: civil rights legislation, the War On Poverty, rising from a poor farming family to the Oval Office. He knows exactly what it feels like to be hated for having no good options. He says gruffly through the phone: “The Vietnam War needed to end, Aemond. It had to happen. But someone has to pay for it, too. That’s your job now. Take the fall, and the country survives. Plenty of people still love you. And I’m proud of you, son. I know it ain’t easy, believe me. But I’m real proud.”
Still, Aemond fights. He can’t help it. It’s all he’s ever known.
He campaigns at a murderous pace, and you have to follow him across the nation. Perhaps intentionally, there are no campaign stops in Arizona. Aemond does very well, but Ronald Reagan does better; he’s quick and he’s cutting, but he’s also funny, and grandfatherly, and warm, and God knows the American people could use some of that after the past decade. He characterizes Aemond’s policy regarding Vietnam as “peace without honor.” He calls Aemond short-sighted about a dozen times, a jab his supporters guffaw at. He says the United States has surrendered its rightful place as the leader of the free world. His wife Nancy—his second wife—is vehemently opposed to recreational drugs and other supposed moral crimes including abortion and premarital sex. You hate her, and she hates you right back, though in a perfectly pleasant, ever-smiling, mid-century housewife sort of way. Reagan’s disciples call you a whore. Aemond gets the newspapers still loyal to him to publish scathing denials. You aren’t exactly sure why he does this; no comment at all would almost certainly be wiser politically, as Otto advises. But Aemond does it anyway, with deep trenches of violent determination knit into his scarred brow.
The 1972 presidential election is held on Tuesday, November 7th. It is not until the early hours of the morning on Wednesday the 8th that Aemond learns he has narrowly lost. It couldn’t possibly be construed as your fault; he wins Florida by a greater margin than he had in 1968. As the sun rises in a bright, cloudless sky, Aemond’s entourage clears out of the Lincoln Sitting Room, leaving the two of you alone with the droning television. Aemond is sipping an Old Fashioned on one end of the couch. You light yourself a Lucky Strike cigarette on the other. For once, Aemond doesn’t seem to mind.
“You know,” Aemond muses after a while. “Ronald Reagan is divorced.”
Your heart is racing; you aren’t sure what he’s offering. You’re petrified to say the wrong thing and change his mind. “Yeah, he is.”
Aemond nods, twirling his Old Fashioned so the ice cubes clink against the misty glass, not looking at you. “I think I’ll marry Alys and adopt the boy.”
And that’s how you learn that what Aegon said in the doorway of a hospital room four and half years ago was true, no impassioned declarations, no gratitude, only grudges that have grown quiet and cold and dormant. At last, Aemond is done with you.
~~~~~~~~~~
Otto, glowering spitefully, getaway car procurement extraordinaire, hands you the keys to a green Chevy Nova. On the front steps of the White House, you say goodbye to a palpably heartbroken Nate. He gives you the notebook pages and greetings cards. You give him a kiss on the cheek, a parting stain of red lipstick. But instead of blood, the color makes you think of cherry-flavored Mr. Mistys, the Lucky Strike logo, roses, sunburn, firelight, the rust-hued earth of the desert. You duck into the Nova and start driving.
The East Coast unfolds into the Midwest and then turns jagged as you hit the Rocky Mountains. At a gas station in Albuquerque, New Mexico, you toss your remaining birth control pills—still squirreled away in a box of hollowed-out tampons—into a trash bin. At a McDonald’s in Asher, Arizona, just forty minutes outside of Yuma, you stop to get a large Coca-Cola and touch up your makeup in the bathroom mirror: black eyeliner, gold shadow, both as heavy as you want them to be. You stroll back to your Nova under a radiant November sky that feels like summer, smiling to yourself. The hem of your roomy, floral skirt billows around your brown leather boots in the desert wind. Your earrings are small, glinting gold hoops. Your white tank top is simple and hand-crocheted, found at a yard sale in Amarillo, Texas; but your sunglasses are Bugatti, a gift from Ludwika.
You park outside the only school on the Fort Yuma Indian Reservation and go inside to the front office. The secretary says distractedly: “Can I help you, ma’am?” Then she does a double take. “Oh, I’m sorry, dear, do I…do I know you from somewhere…?”
“You might,” you say, pushing your sunglasses up into your hair. It’s only shoulder-length now, but growing, and wild from the wind. “I was hoping to find Mr. Targaryen, does he still work here?”
“He sure does, but he doesn’t like anyone calling him that.”
Of course he wouldn’t. “Just Aegon then. Which classroom is…?”
But before you can finish your question, and before she can answer, you hear echoing through the labyrinthian hallways the start of Creedence Clearwater Revival’s Bad Moon Rising, not just an acoustic guitar but bass and drums too.
“I see the bad moon a-risin’
I see trouble on the way
I see earthquakes and lightnin’
I see bad times today
Don’t go around tonight
Well it’s bound to take your life
There’s a bad moon on the rise.”
The secretary laughs, keeping rhythm with taps of her pencil on her desk. “I guess you can find him on your own, can’t ya?”
Yes, you can. You follow the music through long empty corridors, wondering where all the students are. You drag your fingertips—black polish, chipped around the edges—along grooves in the cinder block walls that have been painted over with vibrant murals. The song is getting louder, and now you hear other noises too, an ocean of energetic voices and squealing chairs.
“I hear hurricanes a-blowin’
I know the end is comin’ soon
I fear rivers over flowin’
I hear the voice of rage and ruin
Don’t go around tonight
Well it’s bound to take your life
There’s a bad moon on the rise, alright!”
You step into the cafeteria, raucous with students swapping pudding cups and bags of chips. Many of them are watching the stage, clapping along, playing their own imaginary guitars. Aegon is there strumming the sparkling gold guitar you sent him for Christmas back in 1968. He hasn’t seen you yet; he’s grinning at the kids up on the stage with him—his fellow bandmates, his fledgling rockstars—and leaning back from the mic to give them pointers. But Cosmo has. He flies out of his seat and crashes into you, now nearly ten years old, long blonde hair, a Rolling Stones t-shirt.
“You’re back!” he bellows over the music as you hug him. Teachers chatting amongst themselves by the wall give you curious glances.
“Yeah, kiddo. I am.”
“For a visit?”
“Maybe for a little longer than that.”
“Yay!” he shouts, jumping up and down.
You look back to Aegon, and now his eyes catch on yours: instantaneous recognition, disbelief, amazement. He’s just like you remember him; he’s just like he is in your dreams. You raise an eyebrow and wave tentatively. His own words surface in your skull like swimming up through cool, sunlit water: What are we gonna do about it? And Aegon smiles, the god of light, music, healing, truth.
Now his tiny bandmates are yelling at him, irate. He’s still plucking at his guitar on autopilot, but he’s missed his cue to sing the last verse. He shakes off his astonishment and continues, beaming, watching you.
“Hope you got your things together
Hope you are quite prepared to die
Looks like we’re in for nasty weather
One eye is taken for an eye
Well don’t go around tonight
Well it’s bound to take your life
There’s a bad moon on the rise.”
Cosmo sprints back to his lunch to stop a friend from seizing his unguarded Ding Dongs.
“Don’t come around tonight
Well it’s bound to take your life
There’s a bad moon on the rise.”
Aegon gives his guitar a final few strums as the cafeteria erupts into cheers and applause. His bandmates bow to their audience as Aegon takes off his guitar, leaps down from the stage, runs to you as children twist in their seats to stare. He’s wearing khaki shorts, tan moccasins, a half-unbuttoned white shirt that actually fits him, dog tags with Daeron’s name on them. He’s so afraid to ask the question; he’s terrified you won’t say the right answer. “Io…what the hell are you doing here?”
You shrug, casual, teasing. “Didn’t like where I was. Thought I’d try someplace new.”
He touches your face to make sure you’re real, marveling at you, his voice going hushed. “We’ve lost so much time.”
“Don’t worry. Your life’s only half over.”
Aegon laughs, eyes shining. “I’m really, really looking forward to the rest of it.”
You can feel the smile on his lips as he kisses you; you can hear a quiet, kind melody that fills the universe, the sound of all the chains of gravity breaking and moons drifting free from their planets.
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i’m attempting to watch every single batman movie/tv show that i can get my grubby little paws on and rate them. the only rules i have is they have to have batman or something related to batman (like the dark knight trilogy) in its title.
here is my list so far, feel free to suggest anything you think i might’ve missed!
Movies
- Batman (1943)
- Batman and Robin (1949)
- Batman (1966)
- Scooby-Doo Meets Batman (1972)
- Batman (1989)
- Batman Returns (1992)
- Batman: Mask of the Phantasm (1993)
- Batman Forever (1995)
- Batman & Robin (1997)
- Batman & Mr. Freeze: SubZero (1998)
- Batman Beyond: Return of the Joker (2000)
- Batman: Mystery of the Batwoman (2003)
- Batman vs. Dracula (2005)
- Batman Begins (2005)
- Batman: Gotham Knight (2008)
- The Dark Knight (2008)
- Batman: Under the Red Hood
- Batman: Year One (2011)
- The Dark Knight Rises (2012)
- Batman: The Dark Knight Returns (2013)
- Batman: The Dark Knight Returns, Part 2 (2013)
- Batman: Assault on Arkham (2014)
- Son of Batman (2014)
- Batman vs. Robin (2015)
- Batman: The Killing Joke (2016)
- Batman: Bad Blood (2016)
- Batman: Return of the Caped Crusaders (2016)
- Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016)
- Batman and Harley Quinn (2017)
- The Lego Batman Movie (2017)
- Batman vs Two-Face (2017)
- Scooby-Doo! & Batman: The Brave & the Bold (2018)
- Batman: Gotham By Gaslight (2018)
- Batman Ninja (2018)
- Batman vs. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2019)
- Batman: Death in the Family (2020)
- The Batman (2022)
- Batman and Superman: Battle of the Super Sons (2022)
- Merry Little Batman (2023)
TV Shows
- Batman (1966)
- The Adventures of Batman (1968)
- The Batman/Superman Hour (1968)
- The New Adventures of Batman (1977)
- The Batman/Tarzan Adventure Hour (1977)
- Batman: The Animated Series (1992)
- The New Batman Adventures (1997)
- Batman Beyond (1999)
- The Batman (2004)
- Batman the Brave and the Bold (2008)
- Beware the Batman (2013)
- Batman: The Audio Adventures (2021)
- Batman: Caped Crusader (2024)
- Batwheels (2024)
#batman#dc#dcu#robin#dc comics#tim drake#jason todd#dick grayson#the penguin#oswald cobblepot#the joker#dc joker#harley quinn#selina kyle#damian wayne#alfred pennyworth#catwoman#batman watch list#watchlist
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Go home, Ivan!
Today, we are remembering the invasion of the Soviet army into Czechoslovakia.
56 years ago, in the night between 20. and 21. August 1968, the army of the USSR, along with the armies of other Warsaw Pact countries (except for Romania and Albania who refused to participate - huge thank you, guys) crossed the borders of the country from 3 sides, while airplanes with paratroopers landed near Prague. This being in the night and unexpected, the entire country was occupied by morning, while the government that was blindsided by the invasion asked both the army and civilians to not resist the occupiers. Clashes still occurred, one of the most important being what became known as the Battle for the radio, when civilians bravely tried to stop the occupiers from taking control of the radio broadcast - 17 civilians were killed during the battle.
The occupation began as a reaction to what is known as Prague Spring - a period in 1968 when the new leadership of the Communist Party loosened some laws, especially about censorship and the country started to become more liberal, while trying to built a "socialism with a human face" (an oxymoron, of course, as socialism has no human face). This was not well received in the USSR and although they held meetings with the Czechoslovak government where they were assured of our loyalty to Marxism-Leninism (🤮), they decided to solve things their way - by brute force.
Overall casualties are counted at 137 civilians killed by the occupiers (including children), apart from that there were several suicides (some of them public) and at least 70 000 people emigrated during the first year, with around 100 000 - 200 000 more in the next two decades.
The following period, known as "normalization" included revocation of all previous reforms, increased amount of censorship in all aspects of public life, cancellation of several organizations, people being bullied and blacklisted at work for having incorrect opinions, many of them forced to change professions for being unable to get work in their field. The occupying army left only in 1991, after the Velvet Revolution.
#czechoslovakia#czech republic#slovakia#1968#1968 invasion of czechoslovakia#fuck communism#čumblr#ťumbľr
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My favorite album from each year, 1960+.
1960. Blues & Roots - Charles Mingus 1961. Blue Hawaii - Elvis Presley 1962. Jazz Samba - Stan Getz with Charlie Byrd 1963. The Freewheelin' Bob Dylan - Bob Dylan 1964. The Times They Are A-Changin' - Bob Dylan 1965. Bringing It All Back Home - Bob Dylan 1966. Blonde on Blonde - Bob Dylan. 1967. Are You Experienced - Jimi Hendrix 1968. Beggars Banquet - The Rolling Stones 1969. Let It Bleed - The Rolling Stones 1970. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon & Garfunkel 1971. Led Zeppelin IV - Led Zeppelin 1972. Harvest - Neil Young 1973. Pronounced - Lynyrd Skynyrd 1974. Pretzel Logic - Steely Dan 1975. Born To Run - Bruce Springsteen 1976. Turnstiles - Billy Joel 1977. Rumours - Fleetwood Mac 1978. Excitable Boy - Warren Zevon 1979. Rust Never Sleeps - Neil Young 1980. Heartattack And Vine - Tom Waits 1981. Moving Pictures - Rush 1982. The Number of the Beast - Iron Maiden 1983. Kill 'Em All - Metallica 1984. Purple Rain - Prince 1985. Hounds of Love - Kate Bush 1986. Graceland - Paul Simon 1987. Appetite For Destruction - Guns N' Roses 1988. ...And Justice For All - Metallica 1989. Doolittle - Pixies 1990. People's Instinctive Travels and the Paths of Rhythm - A Tribe Called Quest 1991. Nevermind - Nirvana 1992. Rage Against the Machine - Rage Against the Machine 1993. Enter The Wu-Tang - Wu-Tang Clan 1994. Weezer (The Blue Album) - Weezer 1995. Jagged Little Pill - Alanis Morissette 1996. Beautiful Freak - Eels 1997. Either/Or - Elliott Smith 1998. Mezzanine - Massive Attack 1999. Californication - Red Hot Chili Peppers 2000. Heartbreaker - Ryan Adams 2001. Toxicity - System of a Down 2002. Yoshimi Battles the Pink Robots - The Flaming Lips 2003. Deja Entendu - Brand New 2004. Hot Fuss - The Killers 2005. Takk... - Sigur Rós 2006. One-X - Three Days Grace 2007. Oracular Spectacular - MGMT 2008. 808s & Heartbreak - Kanye West 2009. Man On The Moon: The End of Day - Kid Cudi 2010. My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy - Kanye West 2011. Watch The Throne - Jay-Z 2012. Born To Die - Lana Del Rey 2013. Pure Heroine - Lorde 2014. Ultraviolence - Lana Del Rey 2015. To Pimp A Butterfly - Kendrick Lamar 2016. Puberty 2 - Mitski 2017. Cult Drugs - Blood Command 2018. Goodbye & Good Riddance - Juice WRLD 2019. Norman Fucking Rockwell! - Lana Del Rey 2020. The New Abnormal - The Strokes 2021. The Horses and the Hounds - James McMurtry 2022. It's Almost Dry - Pusha T 2023. World Music Radio - Jon Batiste 2024. The Past Is Still Alive - Hurray For The Riff Raff
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mutant file (logan howlett x fem!oc)
name: michaela isabella fiore
alias: natura
day of birth: june 22nd, 1968 (32 in X Men 1)
height: 5'6
category: mutant (alpha level)
abilities: chlorokinesis, toxikinesis, toxic immunity, genius
residence: xavier school for gifted youngsters
occupation: doctor and biology teacher
affliction: x-men (since 1990)
state: alive
history
"early life"
Michaela Isabella Fiore, born on 22 June 1968, daughter of Paul and Francesca Fiore in the borough of Brooklyn, New York. Both are children of first-generation Italian immigrants to the United States. Working class, they ran a flower shop in North Brooklyn. Currently retired.
The first mutant gene samples are demonstrated in a biology class during primary school. According to the teacher's reports, during an experiment where students were asked to grow a bean in a beaker, Fiore's plant grew "abnormally". Other school reports state that, during high school, girls who were picking on Michaela reported to the teacher that Fiore had planted manure in her lockers. It was never proven.
Michaela continued her studies and was awarded one of the Xavier Scholarships for Gifted and Talented Youth at New York University, where she graduated with a major in Botanical Biology and Toxicology and a minor in Genetics,where she met Sara Kinney. She later obtained her PhD at Oxford, with a thesis on assisted mutation in various plants for medical purposes.
"xavier school for gifted youngsters and X Men"
Since her doctorate at Oxford in 1990, Michaela Fiore has been a registered biology teacher at Xavier School for gifted youngsters. She is also a member of the X Men team, along with Scott Summer alias Cyclops, Jean Grey alias Marvel Girl, Ororo Munroe alias Storm, Kurt Wagner alias Nightclawer and Hank McCoy alias Beast.
However, Fiore's work is more oriented towards laboratory work and the development of new ways to treat the injured mutants who come to the school.
Some field missions are recorded. Despite little hand-to-hand training, Fiore's skills allow her to get the upper hand in a ranged fight.
During the 2000s, the X Men had several clashes with the notorious ex-terrorist Magneto and his Brotherhood of Mutants. As well as battles against the government against the Mutant Registration Act and the "Mutation Cure". Both Dr. Fiore and Dr. Grey advocated against both of these in Congress.
During this time, new members join the X-Men: Remy LeBeau aka Gambit, Anna Marie aka Rogue, Piotr "Peter" Nikolaievitch Rasputin aka Colossus, Robert Louis "Bobby" Drake aka Ice-Man, Katherine Anne "Kitty" Pryde aka Shadowcat and Logan Howlett aka Wolverine.
...
2006➜ ERROR, FILE NOT FOUND
ONE SHOTS SET AFTER DAYS OF FUTURE PAST
Currently, the X Men grouping is still unleashed by Scott Summers aka Cyclops, Ororo Munroe aka Storm and Logan Howlett aka Wolverine. Michaela Fiore does not take part in the field missions and shares the position of deputy director with Dr. Jean Grey.
The Sentinel menace was stopped in 1973 by a mutant named Mystique, who saved the president from Magneto.
currently, 2024 (nobody's dead, we're all happy and forgetting the timeline, FUCK TVA)
The school remains the same as it has been all these years, but the threats don't stop. Recently, records came in about a trafficking of mutant children being experimented on by an illegal organisation on the Mexican border.
The X Men are working on it at the moment.
character analysis
Michaela is a kind and optimistic person. Over the years she has gained more experience and control over her powers, which makes her a confident person. At first she was reluctant to be introduced to the X-Men, but her colleagues convinced her.
She spends much of her time in the underground lab at X-Mansion, alongside Jean Grey and, on occasion, Hank McCoy.
Her first encounter with Logan, aka Wolverine, was not a pleasant one. The mutant awoke from his coma (induced by the Professor) altered and confused, so he attacked Michaela and scarred her back with his claws. Michaela, in response, put him to sleep with chloroform, until the Professor arrived.
The two slowly, slowly worked out their differences.
For their personalities clash quite a lot. Logan is a lone wolf, while Michaela is all about teamwork. But according to Cyclops, they're both equally annoying.
Despite appearances, constant bickering and "mutual hatred", there is a pact of respect between the two. They will never say it to each other's faces, but they are very fond of each other. (Everybody knows it, except them).
now some headcannons
The X Men affectionately refer to Michaela as Mickey or Dr. Mickey.
Logan refers to her as "kid".
Mickey refers to him as "old dog".
Mickey wears a necklace with a St. James medal, a legacy from her paternal grandfather Jimmy Fiore.
Mickey doesn't know that Logan's real name is James.
The children shipped their biology teacher and the history teacher (i.e. them).
Michaela was upset after Logan's departure after fighting Magneto.
And when he left again.
And again.
He has commitment issues (no shit).
Apparently he always fixes it when he comes back.
The X Men always party when he comes back, they go to a bar a few miles from the school.
Our girl can't stand alcohol (she's given Logan endless lectures on the problems of alcohol), but on these occasions she has a margarita or two.
Bad idea.
She's a lightweight.
Very funny until she throws up.
Logan always ends up looking after her.
But not without laughing the next morning, delivering her own sermons against her.
Again, children SHIP them.
Bobby tried to lock them in a classroom. It was fun until Logan chased him all over the mansion.
Logan offers to teach Michaela how to fight.
She has improved a lot.
He always ends up in a cold shower.
Sometimes they are found in the kitchen at night, or in the greenhouse or laboratory.
Logan suffers from chronic nightmares, about his past, about Weapon X, PTSD...
Michaela is only used to little or no sleep. She lives in a mansion with hundreds of children, there must always be someone awake.
They do not normally speak at these meetings.
The next morning it's back to normal.
Michaela lives in coffee.
Logan hates coffee.
Logan always makes Michaela coffee.
They will end up together. For sure. But there are bets hanging around.
Even Magneto, in his plastic prison, asks the Professor for updates.
"Any news on...?" "Not that I know of." "For God's sake, Charles! You're a mind reader!"
ONE SHOTS
incoming...
#logan howlett x fem!reader#x men 2000#x men#x men days of future past#x men dofp#logan howlett x reader#logan#logan howlett#wolverine x reader#wolverine x oc#wolverine xmen#logan howlett x oc#wolverine
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Classic Comic Villains: The Unnatural Selector
Pinup scan from TyrannoMax #21, Cocytus Comics, 1977
Born in a lost corner of the cosmos, the cosmic demigod known as the Unnatural Selector has but one driving concern: life and its propagation. For millions of years he has wandered the cosmos, transplanting populations and terraforming worlds to seed life in new corners of space and in his time-accelerated Genesis Engines, where he can study evolution in all its forms.
Part of this study is the "Tournament of Life," a cruel experiment where champions of a given world face a series of deadly trials and battles against disasters and the Selector's prized monstrosities. The biospheres of those that fail are scoured in a mass extinction event.
The Unnatural Selector was a regular foe of TyrannoMax, and showed up in several Cocytus Comics titles including Johannes Factotum: Professor of Practically Everything, True Life Tales of Science Fiction, and Barton's Mix-Ups!
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A little sneak peek of a panel from an upcoming multi-page TyrannoMax comic I'm working on, reworked into a pinup. Bonus points if you can guess what the Selector is an anthro of (its not an animal, exactly.)
The Selector is a heavy edit, the main components of which are here.
As with most of my Tyrannomax stuff, the images are first composited, then reverted back to B&W lines, edited and inked, before being recolored from scratch.
I accidentally saved over the unedited background image, and Dall-E 3 is bad at archival.
I probably won't be going into this kind of detail on my process for the full pages, because this here is just one panel.
The Selector is a character concept I've had for awhile, this is just the first time I solidified a visual concept. A mysterious space god with a taste for trials and tournaments is a classic comic villain archetype, after all, and the evolution-obsessed villain fits nicely with dinosaur characters.
Might do a whole Coctyus Character Catalogue entry for him if the druthers hit me.
Prompts:
A cobra standing on a chunk of rock floating in in the cosmic void, it is reared up, threatening, facing toward the viewer, comic panel by jack kirby and john byrne, 1977, angled view
a cosmic nebula in the vague shape of a DNA double helix, comic inks by jack kirby, 1968, trippy, in the style of syd mead
A robed creature stands, one hand outstretched, palm up, toward the camera, he has a lion's head with a mane made of green flames, wearing cosmic-tech gauntlets, imposing, mysterious, foreboding, standing on a rock floating in the starry void, wide stance, standing tall, comic panel by jack kirby and wally wood, 1968, in the style of 1960s marvel comics, eerie cosmic coloration, wide angle, full body. The mood is dramatic.
#tyrannomax#retro comics#unreality#the unnatural selector#ai assisted art#ai edit#dall-e 3#fauxstalgia#Cocytus comics
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any dave music hcs? :) my playlist for him mostly consists of relatively popular rock music. besides wacky but awesome garageband beats, i personally think he’d be a rocknroll radio hits kinda guy, at least for pre-sburb dave, i don’t think he’d have as much freedom to really explore music the way he wants before then. some of my favorites for him are all mixed up (311), superman’s dead (our lady six), bound for the floor (local H), everything to everyone (everclear), inside out (eve 6) and birds (butthole surfers). i also think he’d like metal too! particularly nu metal. even if mixing music and rapping is an outlet for him, i see him relating to these types of songs a lot and maybe at the time when his #ironiccoolguy persona is most prevalent + affecting his interests/personality heavily, he’s embarrassed about admitting his popular favorites b/c it’s not cool to him to like what’s mainstream. but you know character arc! and besides when the earth explodes no music is really popular anymore LOL. btw i liked your davejade music posts ^_^ so i’m very curious if you have any thoughts for dave music on his own!
one of the first things we know about dave is “You like to rave about BANDS NO ONE'S EVER HEARD OF BUT YOU” but its never brought up again. so i can see him having a bit of a punky existence. but its pretty impossible to list bands that people havent heard about but him. it doesnt mean he can’t like known acts. pink floyd are one of the most well known music artists of all time but i think he would like it for instance
but of those known acts i know his ass does not listen to fallout boy or whatever
idk dave he strikes me as someone who listens to both brian eno and death grips but at the same time theres a lot of stuff i CANT see him listening to
i think he probably likes beastie boys. paul’s boutique (1989) is probably one of his top albums. deltron 3030 (2000) too. both experimental hiphop, paul’s boutique utilizing plunderphonics while deltron 3030 is a bit more epic and psychedelic.
i think both wouldve changed his life. paul’s boutique for for his pragmatic bent (sampling)
and deltron 3030 on the psychological / reflection / journey / listen and close your eyes rock opera side (“It is a rap opera concept album set in a dystopian year 3030. The album's story casts Del in the role of Deltron Zero, a disillusioned mech soldier and interplanetary computer prodigy rebelling against a 31st-century New World Order. In a world where evil oligarchs suppress both human rights and hip-hop, Del fights rap battles against a series of foes, becoming Galactic Rhyme Federation Champion. Del the Funky Homosapien's lyrics veer from serious social commentary to humor to epic sci-fi battles, while producer Dan the Automator creates an eerie and dense atmosphere.”)
come on man
nmesh dream sequins is another album i can see him listen to, the cream of the crop for experimental vaporwave (the type of slowing samples in vaporwave was a technique pioneered by dj screw who i think dave would also dig, as it essentially manipulates time and thats Cool). probably likes oneohtrix point never too, an experimental electronic artist who also took inspiration from screw
maybe a bit of biting tongues, one of my favorites. he couldve been led to it going down the eno hole. probably his favorite album being recharge (1989)
as for rock i’m pretty sure dave strikes me as a psychedelic / experimental rock type of dude. so yeah pink floyd is still on the table especially early with syd barrett (the piper at the gates of dawn (1967) and a saucer full of secrets (1968)). but i think he can like later after that (of COURSE he feels drawn to the song ‘time’ lol i bet he’d want to replicate the atmosphere of the song’s beginning in his own stuff). he likes this kinda sound. he i can definitely see him being a ween fan for sure, especially quebec (2003) or their satire art/prog rock album the mollusk (1997) —the latter of which i could see him bonding with jade over DEFINITELY just listen to the titular song — but really the whole discography. or a zappa fan. maybe a dip into metal if its experimental or funky like primus or zillatron (bootsy collins alias)
i have to mention that these are all bands i like to some degree because to know what they sound like and if they fit dave ive had to listen to them lol. but yeah so that could put some bias into it and theres surely more stuff he would listen to i dont know but heres a portion of what i see from where i am
the common denominator between all the music i talked about was that theyre experimental
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#Fun facts from the history of rock music
How to spoil people's mood
In 1968, the Rolling Stones - eternal competitors of the Beatles - released the song Street Fighting Man, which became a hit. They considered the song a breakthrough, and threw a party about it, where they came, including John Lennon and Paul McCartney
Paul discreetly handed me the record and said: "Let's see how you like our new record, Tony." I quickly put the CD into the audio system, and the song "Hey Jude" started playing in the club. Then I turned the disc over to the other side and we heard John Lennon's voice singing "Revolution". When we listened to everything, I noticed that Mick looked annoyed. The Beatles were one step ahead again
- says Tony Sanchez in his book "I was a Rolling Stones drag Dealer")
The song was written by Paul McCartney to support John Lennon's son, who was worried about his parents' divorce. "Hey Jude" bypassed the creation of stones and lasted 9 weeks on the American chart, thereby setting a record
Why do you need to know the roots of the symbols that you adopt
On December 3, 1983, Billy Idol released his second studio album Rebel Yell. His first record was relatively successful, but Rebel Yell was an explosion: the album sold 8 million copies, rose to number 6 on Billboard and entered the "100 best rock albums of all time" according to Classic Rock magazine. And there is a catch in the most prominent place of the record
Rebel Yell translates as "Rebel Cry". Billy borrowed the phrase from the Rebel Yell brand of bourbon, which he once drank with musicians from the Rolling Stones. Bourbon, in turn, was named after the battle cry of the Confederates
As it is now customary to say - everything is not so clear, but nevertheless - in popular culture, the image of the Confederates is the image of the southern slave-owning American states, which did not want to abandon this very slavery, and therefore staged a civil war, which they lost. And it is unlikely that Billy Idol, being a punk (although punks accuse him of incorruptibility), would associate himself with such a symbol if he knew its roots)
How to work in the same team for 55 years and not go crazy
The blues-rock band
ZZ Top
is pretty much the face of Texas - men in cowboy hats and old American cars playing masculine, heavy but not too heavy music
By 2014, the band had sold 50 million albums, entered the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame 10 years before, and has existed unchanged since its founding in 1969 (not counting bassist Dusty Hill, who died in 2021). That's what the founder of the band Billy Gibbons said about it:
“God, we don't break up for longer than many marriages last. I'll tell you a secret, and it's very simple, just two words: different (tour) buses”
Rock music is saturated with drugs. But do you know how much?
In 1975, the band Hawkwind with Lemmy Kilmister in the line-up went on tour in the United States in support of their album Warrior On The Edge Of Time, but Lemmy was arrested at customs for drug trafficking and sent to prison. The band's managers managed to release him on bail, but after Lemmy played the concerts, he was fired. Lemmy later repeatedly claimed that the arrest was just a convenient excuse for the rest of the band to finally get rid of him - because by 1975 the line-up had finally split into two drug camps: amphetamine and psychedelic—and Lemmy said that in fact he was fired for "using the wrong drugs")
After his dismissal, Lemmy created his own band - the legendary Motörhead (in slang, an amphetamine addict), which became one of the main hard rock bands in Britain and the world, in which he played until his death in 2015, having completely played a European tour that ended 20 days before his death
Why is there so much noise around the Oasis revival?
Here are a couple of facts for you:
● In 1996, the band gave a concert for 250,000 people. Tickets sold out in less than a day, in total 2.5 million people tried to buy tickets - about 5% of the UK population at that time
● The band entered the Guinness Book of Records for the longest stay in the top ten of the British hit parade in history
● On August 30, 2024, on the occasion of the reunion, Oasis released the anniversary edition of their debut album Definitely Maybe, and a week later it reached number one in the UK chart (30 years after its release, for a moment). Two more albums took 3rd and 4th places and 3 more albums entered the top 100
With all this success, Liam and Noel Gallagher, the founders of Oasis, were normal such limitless people: one day they went to perform in the Netherlands, on the way they caused a row on the ferry, and they were not allowed to enter the Netherlands. And during the American tour, they overdid it with illegal substances, and when at the concert the staff mistakenly put them different set lists, they performed different songs at the same time and did not notice it. After this disastrous performance, Noel went to Melissa Lim, his friend, so that she would morally support him after such a disgrace. They talked all night, after which the song Talk Tonight was born, and later, under its influence, my favorite song of the band - Morning Glory
The brothers also constantly feuded, but this was also their fuel: at some point, Liam began to periodically not go on stage at concerts as a sign of protest. And Noel, in order not to let the audience down, took vocal lessons and began singing instead of Liam)
The reunion of the brothers is a hope for fans to see them at a concert together (which was rare even before their quarrel and breakup in 2009) and hear new material, which, according to them, from the same 2009, they have There's a lot left
Or how the first rock and roll song appeared
One day, in 1951, someone dropped an amplifier belonging to the Kings Of Rhythm band, and the sound from it began to come out with distortion. But the producer of the band did not repair it because he saw a perspective in such a deformed guitar sound, and the song "Rocket 88" was recorded with it
The essence of the effect was a specific compression of the upper part of the sound wave. From 2024, it's hard to believe when listening to the track, but it was the first conscious move towards heavier sound, so "Rocket 88" is considered the first rock and roll song (what the band played before, and from which rock and roll grew, was called "rhythm and rollblues")
Then began the industrial production of devices that give such an effect (and the name of the effect is overdrive), Eric Clapton and other popular musicians began to use it, then there was more aggressive distortion, hard rock, then metal, thrash metal, and then increasing severity, but it all started with a successful fall of the amplifier
Interesting fact: the song is sung about the Oldsmobile 88 car, and the Jimmy Liggins song "Cadillac Boogie" is taken as the basis. Both automakers belong to the same GM concern, and I did not find information that these songs were an advertisement, but it is very similar to it
How Stoner rock was invented
Kyuss (read as 'ˈkaɪ.We started by playing in the California desert. The specifics of such events was that many beginner bands gathered in one place, and if the public did not like the music, they simply went 200 meters away and listened to another team, unlike bars where the public comes to the bar rather than to the group. It required constant work on his work to keep the audience
The two pillars of Kuyss' signature sound were guitarist Josh Homme's specific slow playing style, inspired by psychedelic rock, and the fact that he connected a guitar to a bass guitar amplifier to achieve a heavy sound
Over time, other bands began to adopt this sound, thereby giving rise to stoner rock (stoner - translated - a lover of marijuana. It was believed that slow heavy music was perfect for it), and stoner metal, as its heavier offshoot
After the collapse of the band in 1995, Josh Homme founded the Queens Of The Stone Age band, extremely popular in the West and undeservedly deprived of attention in the post-Soviet space
I recommend getting acquainted with the genre from the band's fourth album, as it is the most complete and brought to mind in their discography
#Fun facts from the history of rock music#billy idol#zz top#Spotify#lemmy kilmister#motörhead#the rolling stones#the beatles#beat#beatlemania#oasis#music#my music#music love#musica#history music#spotify#rock music#rock#rock photography#my spotify
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RIP MARTY KROFFT
1937-2023
Marty Krofft was born on April 9, 1937 in Montréal, Québec, Canada. With his brother Sid, Krofft created some of television's most fantastic and magical programs, mostly centered around puppetry. Lucille Ball's interaction with the Krofft was brief, but memorable.
The Krofft puppets first gained attention at the 1962 Seattle Worlds Fair where they presented a show called "Les Poupees de Paris" that included marionettes impersonating popular celebrities. In 1964-1965, they presented the (updated) show at the Worlds Fair in New York. In 1967, Ball's recorded voice, along with Jackie Gleason, Liberace, and Mae West and many other stars, was heard in “Six Flags presents Sid and Marty Krofft’s Circus”.
On September 30, 1977, Donny and Marie welcomed Lucille Ball, who plays the Tin Lady in a Krofft-style spoof of “The Wizard of Oz” starring Ray Bolger. The first three seasons of "The Donny & Marie Show" were produced by the Kroffts, who also created the variety series. Ball appeared on the 2nd episode of the show's 3rd season, and the Osmonds (after a long legal battle) had finally won creative control from the Kroffts feeling they had outgrown the child-like atmosphere created by them. They moved the show to Utah and took over as producers just two months after this episode aired. In this episode, however, the Krofft vibe is still palpably present.
A few Lucille Ball / Desilu performers were seen on Krofft's many television shows.
Johnny Silver played Ludicrous Lion on TV's "H.R. Pufnstuf" (1969) and appeared as Dr. Blinky in the 1970 feature film.
Charles Nelson Reilly and Jerry Maren (both seen on "Here's Lucy") were part of "Lidsville" (1971).
1972's telefilm "Fol-De-Rol" (a film of their 1968 fairy tale puppet show) included Lucy guest stars Ann Sothern, Mickey Rooney, and Totie Fields.
"Sigmund and the Sea Monsters" (1972) starred Ball's good friend Mary Wickes as Aunt Zelda, and also featured Sidney Miller as the voice of Sweet Mama Ooze.
"The Lost Saucer" (1975) included Lucy friends Ruth Buzzi, Jim Nabors, and Vito Scotti.
"Far Out Space Nuts" (1975) featured Hal Smith and John Carradine, both of whom had appeared on "The Lucy Show."
Also seen on "Donny & Marie" during the Krofft years were Desi Arnaz, Jack Albertson, Bob Hope, Milton Berle, Ruth Buzzi, Buddy Hackett, Edgar Bergen, Andy Griffith, Rich Little, Iron Eyes Cody, Arthur Godfrey, and Vincent Price.
#Marty Krofft#Donny & Marie#Osmond#Marie Osmond#Lucille Ball#The Wizard of Oz#Donny Osmond#Pufnstuf#Krofft#TV#Puppets
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So small headcanon: Gordon keeps accidentally adopting pacifics. He's the oldest one in Britain (since the Great Bear was rebuilt into a 4-6-0 anyway) and they all look to him at the first. The A1/3s at first all looked to him as the big brother they loved to tease...until modernization. Suddenly their days were numbered, but he was safe on Sodor. They all agreed to not tell him, to spare him as long as they could. Gordon would learn in late 1967 that he and Flying Scotsman were the last of their siblings left, having never had the chance to say goodbye to any of the others.
When Great Northern escaped to Sodor in 68, D5701 was part of the team set to retrieve the escaped pacific. Gordon did not take kindly to the class 28's attempt to lung at his little sister, and bashed the diesel backwards. It would be discovered several months later that he had hit D5701 hard enough to cause a crack in the diesel's frames, leading to the engine's withdrawal.
Over the next decade, it would be revealed several of the A3's had escaped the cutter's torch, and their big brother would move heaven and earth to keep it that way.this culminated in late 1979, when Gordon and North Western's numbers 2, 3, and 5 stormed a British Railways owned scrapyard to save 60066 Merry Hampton, who had been discovered forgotten in a siding. While BR officials had tried to prevent 60066's rescue, they quickly found that they were no match for a furious locomotive.
Following this incident, BR put out a notice that any LNER Pacifics found were to be dumped in the NWR yard at Barrow in Furness for the safety of their workers.
But what of other Pacific's?
The first Pacific Gordon adopted was Battle of Britain 34090. Gordon met the bullied pacific during the 1949 exchange trials when she was new from the factory. He would take the young Pacific under his wing, and teach her the ins and outs of express work, as well as what he knew of goods work. By the end of the trials, he considered Rebecca his little sister. In 1967, following his discovery of the loss of his siblings, the North Western purchased 34090, and Gordon would collect her personally.
Later that year, Peppercorn A2 60532 Blue Peter, would visit Sodor. Gordon welcomed the fellow LNER pacific as his sister, even offering the Peppercorn a chance to haul Wild Nor'Wester, even though it meant he had to pull goods trains for the day.
Gordon was already cordial with his A4 cousins, but following 1967, he made concerted efforts to bond with his remaining LNER family. 2509 Spencer, Sir Robert Noramby's private engine, would become a dear confidant for Gordon over the years.
In the 1950s, LMS 6202 had been purchased by the NWR. A steam turbine, Gordon had known her from his rebuild at Crewe. They had been friendly, but their schedules had kept them from becoming closer. Gordon would request chances to run with her in 1968, in order to get to know her better.
The dying days of steam saw the Britannia class siblings Ariel, Arrow, and Lightning come to the Island. They were awed to be working with the first (successful) British pacific. Gordon saw their grief at the loss of their siblings. When Scotsman visited the NWR in the lead up to his American tour, Gordon, Great Northern, and Scotsman, they offered the Britannia's chance to join their little family. Pacific's had to stay together.
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1968 [Chapter 10: Poseidon, God Of The Sea]
A/N: Only 2 chapters left!!! 🥰💜
Series Summary: Aemond is embroiled in a fierce battle to secure the Democratic Party nomination and defeat his archnemesis, Richard Nixon, in the presidential election. You are his wife of two years and wholeheartedly indoctrinated into the Targaryen political dynasty. But you have an archnemesis of your own: Aemond’s chronically delinquent brother Aegon.
Series Warnings: Language, sexual content (18+ readers only), violence, bodily injury, character deaths, New Jersey, age-gap relationships, drinking, smoking, drugs, pregnancy and childbirth, kids with weird Greek names, historical topics including war and discrimination, math.
Word Count: 7.2k
Let me know if you’d like to be tagged! 🥰
💜 All of my writing can be found HERE! 💜
It’s Friday, November 1st, and it begins like every day does: with you sneaking a birth control pill and swallowing it with a handful of cool water from the sink. Aemond is usually gone before you wake up—writing speeches, reading newspapers, strategizing with Otto and Criston and Sargent Shriver—but you always lock the bathroom door just in case he reappears. You’ve popped the tiny pink pills out of their circular packages and hidden them in hollowed-out tampons, each opening sealed with cotton balls. You don’t like taking the pills; you don’t fully understand how they work, and you don’t like feeling out of tune with your body’s own rhythms, but they are infinitely better than the alternative. You can’t imagine having to carry Aemond’s child now, sacrificing your comfort, your health, your future, your life for a man who doesn’t know the real you and doesn’t want to. You return the modified tampon to the box you keep in the linen closet, then begin to pin up your hair.
When you venture downstairs, you’ve thrown on a long flowing floral skirt and chunky black sweater, black flats, small unceremonious gold hoops in your ears. You’ll have to change before the journalists arrive to fawn over the children as they bake homemade apple pies this afternoon. You’ll have to wear whatever Aemond tells you to. But presently, it’s Aegon you’re looking for; you begin with the basement.
He isn’t sprawled across his futon, he isn’t lazing on the floor. He isn’t there at all. As you stand on the steps, you see only Eudoxia, muttering irritably in Greek and crawling around on her hands and knees as she picks globs of red out of the shag carpet.
“What is wrong with him?” she says when she glances at you. “Can you believe this? Melted candle wax everywhere. He is a pig. A pig! Someone should make bacon out of him. Then he could finally be useful. He’s just about fat enough. He could feed the whole family, and all the dogs too.”
You don’t know how to reply; you can’t apologize for helping to make the mess, you can’t agree that Aegon is a plague and nothing more. “Do you want help cleaning up?”
“If Aemond saw me putting you to work, I would be deported back to Tyrnavos.”
“No, Doxie. Asteria would fall into the sea without you.”
She peers up at you through fallen strands of her hair, dyed a palpably artificial pitch black. Then she grins, large doughy cheeks, crinkles around her eyes. “Go help Aemond win his election.”
“Yes ma’am,” you say dutifully, and head back upstairs.
In the living room, Aemond and Otto are hissing like snakes as they leaf through the Wall Street Journal. The newspaper reports that Nixon’s poll numbers are climbing in this crucial eleventh hour. They can’t decide if that’s true or if the Wall Street Journal, a Nixon-friendly publication, is trying to give him a little extra momentum as Election Day approaches. Criston nods at you from where he sits on the couch, looking exhausted, dark shadows around his eyes and shoulders slumped low; Aemond and Otto don’t notice you at all. You keep moving.
There is chatter and giggling and the clanging of bowls and pans in the kitchen. You peek inside from the doorway. Fosco, Helaena, and the nannies are making pancakes with the children. Butter sizzles, spatulas scrape, bubbles appear in wells of batter. Helaena is lifting Evangelos so he can pour a cupful of smooth, milky batter into one of the pans on the stovetop. Cosmo, drizzling maple syrup over an ambitiously tall stack of pancakes, waves at you. You smile and wave back. In the corner of the room, Ludwika is smoking one of her Camels and shooing away Aegon’s second-youngest son Thaddeus, whose fingers are covered with flour.
“Please take your paws elsewhere,” Ludwika says, flicking ashes into the kitchen sink. “This dress is Prada.”
Fosco spots you. “Would you like some pancakes?” he asks as he approaches, wiping his palms on the apron tied around his slim waist. Flour dusts his eyeglasses. “We have enough batter to make about 500. Although I cannot promise they will not be burnt. Our chefs are rather inexperienced.”
“Thanks, but I’m not really hungry.” You take one last look around the kitchen, wondering where Aegon could be.
Fosco understands. His voice drops low and discrete. “I have not seen him this morning.”
“He isn’t usually up yet.”
“He’s not, this is true.” Fosco taps his chin, leaving white dabs of flour there. “Maybe he’s sailing?”
“Maybe. I’ll check.”
“And I have no idea where you’re going or why,” Fosco says with a wink before returning to the stove.
Outside it’s grey, misty, only 50 degrees. It would be a bad day for sailing. The wind rips at your clothes and your hair like a man’s lustful hands; the waves are choppy and treacherous. You think of Icarus plummeting into the ocean, of Andromeda being offered as a sacrifice to assuage Poseidon’s wrath, of sirens beckoning doomed sailors. From where you’re standing in the backyard of the main house, shivering with your arms crossed over your chest, you can’t see Aegon’s boat Sunfyre bobbing in the rough surf. You turn left to investigate Helaena’s withered garden.
As you walk, the hem of your skirt dragging dead autumn leaves, you skim your fingertips over the evergreen emerald hedges, cool and damp. At the center of the garden—like a diamond in a wedding ring, like the sun surrounded by its planets—you don’t find Aegon smoking a joint or napping under Zeus’s shadow, only a silent stone circle of gods who watch you with unmoving, all-knowing eyes. You spin slowly, studying each of them, deities who loved and cheated and offered mercy and cursed and killed. From his gurgling fountain in the middle of the clearing, Zeus glares at you most fiercely, wielding his lightning bolts, aching to loose them. The wind rattles the leaves of the hedges; crows caw from somewhere out in the mist.
“Oh! You’re here, darling?” Alicent says from the arched doorway cut into the greenery. She’s pushing Viserys in his wheelchair. Sparse white spiderweb-strands of hair hang limply from his head, mottled with liver spots. His fingers are bony and clawlike. “In this awful weather?”
You scramble for an explanation. “I just, um, needed some quiet.”
“Yes, the children are very rambunctious this morning, aren’t they?”
“Children?” Viserys echoes, as if he is only just learning of them.
“Your grandchildren,” Alicent reminds him. “Aegon and Helaena’s kids. Orion, Spiro, Violeta, Thaddeus, Cosmo, Daphne, Evangelos, and…” Panic crosses her face. She realizes she’s forgotten one, but she doesn’t know who.
“Neaera,” you say.
“Of course. Such a sweet girl, gentle like a lamb.”
You weren’t blessed with that sort of disposition. Sometimes you wish you were. Life seems easier for women who don’t feel bitterness or forbidden ambition, who pain moves cleanly through like clear water. They have no thorns for it to snag on and grow roots into the bones, the soul. They are never at risk of becoming poisonous like Jupiter’s moon Io. “What brings you to the garden on a day this dreary?”
“I feel close to them here,” Viserys rasps.
You stare down at him, baffled. “Close to who, sir?” You rarely interact with the ailing patriarch of the Targaryen family. He is often confined to his bedroom, attended by Alicent and Eudoxia and his nurses, and even when he is physically present his mind is sluggish, alien, impenetrable. Now Alicent’s eyes are downcast, and she drifts away to inspect the statue of Poseidon, a formidable bearded man holding a trident and with dolphins and sea turtles emerging from the waves of white marble at his bare feet.
“I left them back in Greece,” Viserys says, his gaunt face vacant, distant, vaguely sad. He is bundled up in a thick wool robe that hides how skeletal he has become. “I thought about having them brought over to be interred at the mausoleum, but it felt wrong to disturb their bones. Now I cannot visit their graves. I can only hear them here, among the gods our ancestors worshiped.”
“Who…?”
“Aemma and Rhaenyra,” Alicent tells you from where she now stands by Aphrodite, gazing longingly at the goddess of love. You notice that she is clutching a komboskini in one hand; she must believe that what her husband is saying is blasphemy, but she doesn’t condemn him. “Viserys had a wife and daughter before he met me.”
You feel a sudden and overwhelming stab of grief for the old man; you are thinking of Ari. “What happened?”
“The sea took them,” Viserys explains. “A riptide off the coast of Euboea. We found their bodies three days later.”
“Oh God. I’m…I’m so sorry for your loss.” You don’t know what else to say; it’s too disastrous, too unspeakable.
“Aemma was pregnant. It was a boy. She delivered him in the water, a coffin birth.” And you know from his face, his voice, that Alicent and her children never stood a chance, that Viserys has only one true family, only one set of names carved into the scarlet chambers of his failing heart. You think of Aemond’s heart, claimed by Alys and her son; you think of your own.
“They’re at peace, Viserys,” Alicent says. “They are in heaven with my mother and Ari and Mimi.”
He continues, as if he hasn’t heard her: “I thought that if I made something of myself in America, if I helped contribute something incredible to the world, then they would not have died for nothing.” Viserys reaches out with trembling, gnarled hands, and when you realize he wants to hold yours you let him. His grasp is weak and cold. “Aemond will be president. He will save countless lives, he will save this nation’s soul. And you have made that possible.”
Where’s Aegon? Is he okay? Why is no one else ever looking for him? “Thank you, sir.”
Viserys begins hacking, doubling over in his wheelchair, and Alicent hurries to soothe him and provide a handkerchief that Helaena embroidered green spiders onto. When he has recovered, you leave them with the gods: Viserys to grieve his old life, Alicent to mourn the one she never had.
You plod through sand dunes out to the Atlantic Ocean, peering into the fog as you search for Aegon’s sailboat. Still, there is no sign of him. You glance back towards the main house as sea spray peppers your cheeks and your knuckles. You’re beginning to get nervous. Where the hell is he? Is he passed out somewhere, is he sick, is he hurt?
And then, at last, you see him: sitting at the bottom of a small bluff so he is invisible to anyone not at the water’s edge, arms linked around his bent knees, not smoking, not drinking, not gulping pills, just gazing out into the waves that thrash and rumble beneath a grey sky, his too-long blonde hair whipping in the wind. He wears one of Daeron’s army jackets over a white turtleneck sweater, ripped jeans, no shoes, a collection of other men’s dog tags slung around his neck.
“Hey,” you say as you join him, dropping down onto the cool, crumbling sand.
Aegon smiles. “Hey.”
“It’s strange to see you awake before noon.”
“Yeah…I didn’t really sleep.” No, he didn’t, you can tell: his eyes are bloodshot and his voice tired, husky. He is watching you, so hopeful but so afraid. “What are we gonna do?”
About us. About Aemond. “If he loses on Tuesday, I can leave him.”
“What if he wins?”
You don’t have a good answer. You shrug, avoiding Aegon’s eyes. “It’s not forever, you know? It would be four years, and then…”
“Four years?” Aegon says. “No, I can’t wait another four years. I’ve been waiting my whole life for something like this. And what if he gets a second term? Eight years? I’ll be almost fifty. We’ve already lost so much time, I can’t surrender another decade.”
“Aegon, first ladies don’t quit. It’s never happened before, not once since 1789. It’s a part of the democratic process. People aren’t just voting for Aemond, they’re voting for me too. You know that. You told me we were a package deal, and you were right. If they trust me and I walk away, it’s…it’s…it’s treason, it’s abandonment, it’s wrong. And Aemond needs to have the political credibility to get what he wants done.”
“Look,” Aegon says, like it pains him. “I get that my life is already half over, and I haven’t done anything worthwhile with the last forty years, but I want to be different. I want to be better. And I can do that, but I need you to give me a chance.”
“You think Aemond would let me leave? If I publicly humiliated and undermined him?”
“We don’t need Aemond, we could figure it out—”
“What do you think he and Otto would do to you, Aegon? They would ruin you anywhere you go, they would have you declared mentally unfit and take your children away.”
“They don’t own us!”
“They do,” you insist. “And if you try to fight them it will destroy you. You’ve never cared about strategy, and I love that you’re truthful, and I love that you’re real, but I need you to understand what you’re asking for right now.”
“But he breaks the rules,” Aegon says, and his eyes are glistening. “He has Alys. He has a kid out of wedlock.”
“Yes,” you agree softly.
“And what, I’m supposed to hope Aemond loses?” Aegon swipes tears from his eyes with the heel of his hand. “Because that’s the only way I get to touch you? Nixon wins and more draftees get butchered in Vietnam, and Daeron doesn’t come home, and the white supremacists get to resegregate the beaches at Biloxi, Mississippi and wherever the hell else they want to, and civil rights protesters get attacked by police dogs, and teenagers get sentenced to decades in prison for marijuana possession?”
“I’m sorry.” You can’t tell him he’s mistaken about any of that. He isn’t.
“I’ve spent my whole fucking life in a cage, but I’ve never felt this powerless.”
“Aegon?”
“Yeah.”
“Am I…” It’s terrifying to ask. “Am I the same way Mimi was when she was younger? Is that why you like me?”
“No,” he says immediately. “No, you’re different than Mimi. Mimi was fun, and we could party together, and I cared about her, obviously, but…” He stares out at the ocean, shaking his head. “She wasn’t as strong as you. And she couldn’t really get to me. I feel like you could kill me if you wanted to, you could reach inside my chest any time it crossed your mind and crush me in your fist and I’d be gone.”
You stretch out your fingertips until they collide with his sweater, warm yielding flesh woven over his ribs. “Not so easy,” you say. And then Aegon smiles and he leans in to kiss you, the ocean roaring like an ancient beast, a titan, a maelstrom. The wind rakes through your hair and stings your eyes. You ask when he rests his forehead against yours, your hand on his face, your thumb stroking his cheek: “Do you wish you could go back to when you hated me?”
“Never. I’ve gotten used to not being alone.”
“The kids made pancakes. You should go have some.”
“Come with me.”
“You first. I’ll be five minutes behind you. We shouldn’t walk to the house together.”
“Why?” Aegon teases. “Because people might think we fucked in the basement last night?”
“I’ve already told them. Aemond is waiting for you in the kitchen with a bazooka.”
Aegon laughs and struggles to his bare feet, slipping on the sand. “Okay. See you soon.”
“See ya.” Once he’s gone, you recite the full length of Here’s To The State Of Mississippi in your head, then trek across the sand and through the backyard to rejoin the rest of the Targaryens.
When you open the sliding glass door, Otto is standing in the hallway. His icy blue eyes sweep from your simple black flats to your windswept hair, still pinned up but unacceptably tousled. “Why the hell aren’t you dressed for the reporters?”
“Because they won’t be here for another two hours. Surely you are well-acquainted with the itinerary that you yourself arranged.”
“Don’t get yourself in trouble, girl.”
“Remember when you used to defer to me about things? Were you stupid then, or are you stupid now?”
“Do you know what Joe Kennedy did when his daughter Rosemary threatened the family’s reputation?” Otto says, eyes glittering cruelly.
You really don’t know; you weren’t aware that JFK had a sister named Rosemary. “What?”
“He took her to a surgeon to be lobotomized. Now she’s hidden away in a little cottage in Wisconsin, can’t speak, can’t walk, with full-time nurses to wipe the drool off her face and change her diapers. How would you like that? Would your obscene little flirtation still be worth it? We could tell people that you were in a car accident or fell down the stairs. The doctors go in through the eye socket, you know. And you’re awake the whole time.”
“You can’t do that to me,” you say, shellshocked.
“Oh, if that’s what it takes, I’ll find the will somehow.”
There is shouting from the basement, and you and Otto both bolt for the staircase. At the bottom of the steps, Aegon and Eudoxia are embroiled in a ferocious confrontation, red faces, hands itching to slap and shove. Aegon roars, jabbing his index finger at her like a petulant teenager: “I told you to stay the fuck out of my room!”
“You are filthy, you leave crumbs everywhere! We will have mice!”
“Where’s the garbage?” Aegon demands. “Huh? Where’d you put it? Out by the curb?”
“It has already been picked up.”
“No, no way! That’s bullshit!”
“You’re too late!” Doxie says. “The truck went by 20 minutes ago. And why is this a problem? What precious heirloom did I steal from you? An empty rum bottle? A magazine full of naked women? Candy wrappers, cigarette ashes, melted candle wax? You live like a pig, you should not be so outraged when you are treated the same as one.”
“Aegon, what happened?” you ask. Otto is equally bewildered, surveying the markedly clean basement, his brow knitted into deep crevices.
Aegon doesn’t answer. He only glances at you—frustration, anger, but shame too—and then sighs in defeat and stomps up the stairs to the main floor of the house.
Eudoxia looks at Otto and shrugs nonchalantly. “At least there were not so many used condoms this time.”
Your gaze catches on the end table by the futon. The empty cups are gone, the ashtray is spotless…and there is no folded white corner of a receipt poking out from under it.
The math problem from Mount Sinai, you think, that relic, that talisman, that worthless scrap of paper that Aegon never wanted to talk about but kept so close to him, just like you cling to the card he gave you and Aemond cherishes his engraved Ouija board. It’s gone. It’s almost like it never happened.
~~~~~~~~~~
After the journalists arrive and the apple pies, so quintessentially all-American, are made—you help Cosmo with his job, layering strips of dough into lattice crusts that turn golden in the oven, glinting with sugar crystals like diamonds—Aemond’s retinue begins the last of their campaign stops by travelling via limousines to Philadelphia, just an hour and a half across the width of New Jersey and over the Delaware River. In your penthouse suite at the Ritz-Carlton, you soak in a bath opaque with bubbles, steam hot and dewy on your skin. Your hair is long and free. The Zenith radio out in the kitchenette is playing Tomorrow Never Knows by the Beatles.
Your hands have just slipped beneath the hot water—your skull full of Aegon, things he’s done, things he’s said—when you hear the bathroom door open behind you. You rest your arms on the spotless white rim of the tub, porcelain-enameled steel, and try not to look like you’ve been interrupted. Aemond’s footsteps cross the linoleum floor, then he kneels by the bathtub and wraps his arms around you, his long uncalloused fingers skating over your shoulder, collarbones, nipples, before linking like a long necklace. He likes you best like this, when your scar is hidden, something that might have been a nightmare or a sad story that happened to somebody else. He rests the mutilated left half of his face against the right side of yours; his eyepatch scratches against your temple. You shift uncomfortably, you can’t help it. You don’t want him touching you. His arms tighten around your ribs.
“You know, JFK’s mother went through a crisis of sorts as a young wife,” Aemond says calmly. “She realized her husband was a hopeless philanderer and tried to leave him and go back to her parents. But her father sat her down and explained that she had made a commitment. Marriage is for life, and you don’t abandon your vows when the circumstances prove difficult. So she went back to Joe. And if she hadn’t, there never would have been a John F. Kennedy, or a Bobby, or a Eunice or a Ted, or a million other things too.”
“I am so fucking sick of hearing about the Kennedys.”
“You used to love being compared to Jackie.”
“I’m not her. I’m never going to be her.”
“I’m giving up things too,” Aemond says. Now he’s combing his fingers through your hair, unraveling tiny knots, yanking at your scalp. “If I win, I won’t be able to see Alys and our son. It would be too risky, someone might catch me. For as long as I’m president, I’ll have to be apart from them. You don’t think that’s painful? But Alys understands. She knows it’s for the greater good.”
“Please stop touching me.”
“You’re mine to touch as much as I want to.”
You stare at the seafoam green wall and try to pretend you’re in another place, another year.
“I’ve been thinking,” Aemond says sympathetically, an appeasing sort of tone, like he’s trying to strike a bargain. “I’m a realist, I’m aware that I can’t keep you locked up in a basement or put you in a straightjacket for the next fifty years. That doesn’t serve either of us. If you are truly desperate to be rid of me, there’s nothing I can do to change your mind. And I require a partner who is fully committed to my cause, my legacy. Not a captive. I can’t fight Nixon and you too.”
You twist around in the tub to look at him, skeptical, amazed. Is there a way out? “So what are you offering?”
“I need you for as long as I’m president,” Aemond says. “If I win, I need you for at least four years, probably eight. And a short while after that to establish myself in retirement and fade from the headlines, another few years. But then…we could work out some arrangement that is mutually agreeable.”
The hope is so fragile, so fearful, splintering glass. “You would let me go?”
“We’d have to negotiate the details, particularly as far as our future children are concerned, but…yes. In some sense, at least.”
You can’t find any words. You don’t want to offend him, to shatter this moment. And yet the price is so steep. Four years, eight years, ten years. But then…but then…
Aemond smiles, his remaining blue eye bright and cunning. His fingertips trace the slope of your jaw. “I care so deeply for you. You are my Aphrodite, you have made my wildest ambitions possible. You will help me save this country. I am worshiped because of you, I am trusted, I am envied. No one has a wife as beloved as mine, and everybody knows it. So I feel…I’ve considered…” His hand moves down to your throat, drawing invisible chains of gold or silver. “If you’ve given me so much, I can extend some mercy in return.”
“You can’t harm Aegon,” you say. “Or take his children away, or do anything else to punish him.” And then you lie, a necessary fiction, an invention, a myth, Prometheus stealing fire to give it to humans, Zeus hiding Io from Hera. “He hasn’t betrayed you.” And he’s saved me over and over again.
“Of course I won’t harm Aegon. I need him too. This act he has now of the devoted, reformed, tragedy-besieged single father? People adore it. At this rate, I’ll be able to make him the attorney general for my second term if he uses the next four years to rack up some experience. And his children are gold mines for the photographers. They have filled the void left by our own son’s death.”
“Ari,” you say.
“What?”
“He had a name. He wasn’t just ‘a son’ or ‘our son.’ His name was Ari.”
“You’ll feel better once we’ve had others.” Aemond stands and holds out a hand to you. He’s wearing a black suit like he’s getting married, like he’s going to a funeral.
You gaze up at him, not wanting to leave the water. You belong to him, but when he touches you it feels like the earth dying when Persephone is stolen away by Hades each autumn, it feels like Eurydice’s spiderweb-fragile life evaporating when Orpheus dared to look back at her as he led her out of the Underworld. “What if I can’t get pregnant again?” you ask. “It took over a year the first time. And the surgery…what if there’s too much scar tissue, what if I’m just…just…broken?” There’s real pain in your voice that staves off any suspicion Aemond might have. You do want more children, you believe, you know; just not with him.
“Then it is God’s will. But we’ll keep trying.”
Aemond draws you out of the water like a fish from the sea, something to devour, skin and muscle, delicate bones sucked clean.
~~~~~~~~~~
The sunlight is cloudless and glaring. Leaves swirl in the brisk wind in jewel tones: gold, ruby, fire opal, honey calcite, tiger’s eye, red jasper. Aemond has just finished a speech at Franklin Delano Roosevelt Park, standing in a stone gazebo that you can’t help but think resembles a Greek temple, tall columns that house deities of love and death, oceans and fire. Alicent and Helaena have taken the children to attend the opening of a new public library on the other side of the city. The rest of Aemond’s entourage—you, Criston, Otto, Ludwika, Fosco, Aegon—are arranged in a semicircle around him on the stage. Only 50 yards away, there is a small parking lot full of police and press vehicles. Philadelphia residents have walked miles to hear Aemond speak, to glimpse him, to cheer for him, to take leaves he’s stepped on or loose threads from his navy blue suit as relics like the bones of a saint. You match him, as you always must: navy blue dress, high heels, hair neat, makeup mature and understated, gold jewelry gleaming on your ears, throat, wrist. Ravens flap their wings from the skeletal limbs of bare trees. A car radio is blaring Break On Through by The Doors.
“Senator Targaryen,” a reporter calls as flashbulbs strobe dizzyingly. “What do you think about Tommie Smith and John Carlos getting death threats for raising their fists in the Black Power salute at the Olympics in Mexico City?”
There is a split-second lull; it is a difficult question. Aemond must remain the savior of the hippies and college kids and civil rights activists, yet he must not let the old-money urban elite or suburban families mistake him for a discord-sowing radical. You and Aegon exchange a glance; Otto placed him on the opposite side of the gazebo, and this is not a coincidence. Then Aemond decides what to say. “Peaceful protests—even those that can make us confused, defensive, fearful—are not a threat to democracy,” he speaks into the microphone steadily, deliberately, commandingly. The crowd leans forward as they listen, enraptured. Journalists’ pens fly across the pages of their notebooks. “They are not the harbingers of some doomed descent into anarchy. They are a manifestation of the fact that we have already failed. Our nation has failed, our laws and our leaders have failed, and this is our chance to address those dire inadequacies. I urge every single American to listen to what Mr. Smith and Mr. Carlos have actually said about their concerns and their hopes, to be empathetic, to be honest when reflecting on what our country has achieved and yet so desperately still needs to improve upon. These men are not enemies of the United States. They are the United States. They are a part of us, and we are a part of them, and we must not allow prejudiced, ignorant voices”—he means Wallace, he means Nixon—“to draw divides between us. The harassment that Mr. Smith, Mr. Carlos, and their families have experienced is a travesty. It is something that we should expect from a fascist or communist regime, not from a democracy. And to do my small part to show my admiration for them and atone for the mistakes of this nation that I so fervently hope to make better, I would like to personally fund private security services for the households of Mr. Smith and Mr. Carlos for the foreseeable future.”
The crowd erupts into applause, cheers shouted, signs held aloft. Your eyes snag on one, clutched by a middle-aged woman bundled up against the cold; only her eyes—grey, tearful, shining like quarters—are visible above the red plaid of her thick wool scarf. On her sign is a large photograph of a young man in uniform, maybe nineteen, maybe twenty. Below the photo in red marker is written: Ryan Farrelly, my youngest son, burned to death in Phan Thiet on September 21st. Bring Daeron home! Bring them ALL home!
The woman waves at you. You raise your hand wave back. And then there is a sound that comes from everywhere, a boom of thunder, an explosion, bullets like the one that demolished Aemond’s left eye in Palm Beach back in May, a lifetime ago, a truth that has become mythology. There is something hot and sticky splattered across your face, and you can’t see; when you wipe it away with your sleeve and open your eyes, there is a hole in your palm that you can look through like a window.
Where else?
But when you check your chest, your belly, you are whole. It is only a hand would, and that won’t kill you. It doesn’t even hurt yet, though the blood runs in torrents down your arm. You peer frantically around to see if anyone else is hurt.
Aegon, Fosco, Ludwika, Criston??
People are rushing the stage to shield Aemond and his family from bullets. Police are tackling somebody in the audience and beating him bloody with their batons. Aegon is screaming and shoving through the chaos as he fights his way towards you. Otto slams him against one of the columns of the gazebo and holds him there, because Aegon is not the one who’s supposed to get to you first. Now Aemond’s arms are around you, and he is ushering you down the stone steps towards the parking lot, and Criston is running alongside him and telling Aemond that the closest hospital is Jefferson Methodist, but UPenn is better and only two miles farther.
“Who else?” you ask as you cradle your hand against your chest, blood turning your dress from navy to black. Now it hurts plenty, like waking up from your c-section, like a crimson wave that is scalding and crushing and dragging you under to be drowned. “Is anyone else—?”
“No, just you,” Criston says, a reassuring grip on your shoulder. “Don’t worry. Nobody else is hurt.”
“Senator Targaryen, this way!” a police officer is yelling, and he leads the three of you to his black and white car. Criston leaps into the passenger seat; Aemond pulls you into the back with him and slams the door. The sirens shriek and the police officer careens out of the parking lot, Criston giving directions, Aemond yanking off his suit jacket to wrap around your hemorrhaging hand.
“I’m not going to lose it, am I?” you ask dazedly. None of this seems real. You wish Aegon was here. “I need my hands.”
“No, honey. I don’t think they’ll have to amputate.” Then Aemond stares down at the blood on his palms, warm scarlet ruin, water and oxygen and iron that once pulsed in your arteries and veins and now stains him. He frowns, then wipes his hands on his white shirt until almost all the blood is gone from his skin. He is cleaning you off of him. He is readying himself for the cameras that will undoubtedly be waiting at the Hospital of the University of Pennsylvania.
Inside the glass doors of the building, dust motes circle in aisles of sunlight; you watch them as doctors and nurses push you towards the operating room on a stretcher.
“We’re going to take excellent care of you, Mrs. Targaryen,” a doctor says as he ties a sterile white mask over his nose and mouth.
Don’t let Ari die, you almost murmur in response; and then you remember that’s already happened.
There are needles gliding into your veins, bright lights, pain vanishing like the memory of a dream dissolving when you wake.
~~~~~~~~~~
Four hours later, you are propped up in bed on a mountain of pillows, your hand surgically repaired and bandaged, morphine in your IV drip. The doctors think you shouldn’t lose much function—the bullet was from a pistol, blessedly small in size and missing most of your major tendons and nerves—but you won’t know for sure until it’s healed. Ludwika is here with you, lounging in the chair beside your bed and flipping through a copy of Cosmopolitan with her Louis Vuitton stilettos propped up on the ottoman. She is content to be here, but this is technically a job; she has been tasked with supervising you while Aemond and Otto meet with the Philadelphia police who are investigating the attack. The rest of the family—everyone except Aegon, who you suspect has been forbidden to enter the premises—has already been here to fret over you and ask if you need anything. But you aren’t in the mood for visitors. You are stunned, and aching, and you hate hospitals. You keep thinking of tiny babies in incubators, priests in black robes.
Your room is already filling up with flower bouquets. Every few minutes, the phone rings and Ludwika has to answer it. Each time she announces who it is—“Oh, hello Lady Bird, so nice of you to offer your well-wishes!” and then looks to see if you nod, agreeing to take it. The current first lady says that you are already as beloved as Jackie Kennedy and Eleanor Roosevelt. Pat Nixon calls you a gladiator.
There is a mint green Zenith radio on your nightstand, the volume turned way down low, and a television mounted on the wall. NBC news is on, but you’ve muted it to attend to the barrage of phone calls. There is a knock on the doorframe. Aegon stands there in his khaki pants and ill-fitting viridian button-up shirt and tan moccasins, wide searching murky blue eyes, carrying a white Dairy Queen cup.
Ludwika observes him as she puffs on a Camel cigarette. “I am suddenly struck by the inspiration to spend Otto’s money at the gift shop. I hope they take American Express.” She rolls up her magazine, shoves it into her oversized Gucci purse, and clicks in her heels out of the room and down the hallway.
Aegon commandeers the chair and drags it closer to your bed so he can feel your cheeks and your forehead, so he can get a good look at you. “Hey, little Io. You hurt your hoof, huh?”
“It’s not that bad. The caliber of the bullet was really small. Who shot me? One of Wallace’s Klansmen?”
“No, just some insane guy who thinks Aemond is a Russian double agent trying to overthrow capitalism here and put us all in gulags. I heard you could see right through the wound.”
“Yeah, I had a hole in my palm.”
“Just like Jesus.”
“I guess they fixed it.”
“Messiah status revoked.” Aegon sets the Dairy Queen cup on your nightstand. “I brought you a lemon-lime Mr. Misty.”
“I need to get out of here.”
“They gotta make sure you’re okay, babe. You could spike a fever or something.”
“Aegon,” you say seriously. “I can’t be in a hospital. I need to leave.”
He understands; his voice is gentle. “I might be able to get you out tonight, okay? I’ll try. I’ll talk to the doctors.”
“Okay,” you whimper.
Aegon turns up the Zenith radio, Van Morrison’s Brown Eyed Girl. He sings along, snapping his fingers and shimmying his shoulders, his hair shagging over his eyes:
“Hey, where did we go?
Days when the rains came
Down in the hollow
Playin’ a new game…”
Reluctantly, you give him a smile. And you think very clearly, though you don’t say it: I love you.
Aegon leans across the bed to rest his head on your lap. He says softly as you run your fingers through his hair with your good hand: “Maybe Aemond will lose.”
“Yeah. Maybe.”
On the muted television, Nixon is giving a speech in Charlotte, North Carolina to a euphoric crowd. You can’t hear the people gathered there, but you know their applause are thunderous. Nixon is flashing peace signs with both hands and beaming radiantly, this man who was once so poor, tragic, ordinary, unwanted, unloved. He has learned what it feels like to be a god.
~~~~~~~~~~
It’s Sunday, November 3rd, and your hand hurts like hell. You swallow your pills, smiling a little. Now Aegon is getting clean and I’m the one swimming in a haze of narcotics. Who could have predicted that? Still in your robe and bare feet, you swish to the hotel bathroom to wash your face, brush your teeth, rebandage your hand and make sure it isn’t growing dark insidious vines of blood poisoning.
When you venture out to the kitchenette, Aemond is in a sapphire blue suit and seated at the table, reading the Wall Street Journal, his face hidden by columns of black ink and interspersed photographs. This is unusual; he should be scheming with Otto and Sargent Shriver by now.
“Everything okay?” you ask with only vague interest as you go to the refrigerator to get yourself a leftover slice of apple pie, meticulously wrapped and packed in a cooler by Eudoxia before your departure from Asteria. Aemond doesn’t answer. You plop a piece of apple pie onto a plate, return the rest to the refrigerator, and then turn to your husband. And only now do you register the newspaper’s front-page story.
The photographs, all three of them, are of you and Aegon. They are blurry, taken from a distance, but you recognize the moment immediately. You can feel it again: ocean wind in your hair, his lips on yours, your hand on his face as you willed him to be closer, healed, permanent. You are sitting at the edge of the Atlantic Ocean, turbulent and perilous. The journalists must have been north of you, shrouded in mist, their camera shutters clicking feverishly. The headline reads: A Family Affair?
And you remember what Aemond said on your 23rd birthday before he left for the Washington State Convention in Tacoma, how he scolded Aegon when he saw him lighting a joint in the backyard at Asteria: You know journalists will sneak around trying to get photos. You know we’re never truly alone out here.
You can’t speak, you can’t breathe. Aemond knows. The whole world knows.
Slowly, Aemond lowers the newspaper so you can see his face, scarred and hateful and horrifying, lethal like the volcanic hellscape of Jupiter’s most cursed moon.
~~~~~~~~~~
What are my earliest memories? Aegon getting drunk on his futon in the basement while I played with toy soldiers on the green shag carpet, Aemond with his poems and his myths, Helaena letting a praying mantis creep across her knuckles, Criston teaching me how to swim and sail, my mother cleaning sand from my face and hands and giving me water to wash the grit out of my teeth, my father wandering through the doorways of Asteria like a ghost, always on the periphery of my vision, and I had the sense that if I reached out to touch him my hands would pass resistlessly through his skin and sinew like a stone through water.
These are the things I think of here in the rain-dripping darkness, bruises down to my bones, eyes swollen almost completely shut, teeth broken and throbbing like blows from a hammer, fingernails ripped out. I know Tessarion is here because I can hear her, soft sympathetic squeaks, the padding of her tiny feet. I know John McCain is still alive because sometimes he taps back through the cracked concrete wall. I have run out of folklore, so now I tell him the truth. I tell him that I am afraid each beating will kill me as my body becomes a stranger, someone weak and brittle and helpless. I tell him that all my life I wanted to run as far as I could from home, but now I would crawl back to them through razor wire, I would fall into their arms in a shredded bloodstained heap and I’d be happy to do it. Isn’t that funny? I mean, I don’t laugh much these days. But maybe you can appreciate the irony.
Has the election happened yet? Has Aemond won? I’ve lost track of the days, but it has to be getting close to November 5th. What happens if he can’t get me out? What happens if Nixon wins?
I don’t want to be a hero anymore. I don’t want to have adventures like Heracles, Achilles, Jason, Odysseus, Perseus, Orpheus, Ajax. I just want to go home. Please let me go home.
I can hear keys jangling against the lock on my cell door. My heart jolts into a breakneck, pounding rhythm; I think that sound will terrify me all my life. Some things you just can’t forget, you know? Some things dig down deep and build a home in the marrow of your bones, a rust-red cave of immutable memory. I know exactly what the communists want from me. They’ve been asking since they dragged me out of the Loach four months ago.
Everyone has a breaking point. This is mine.
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