#new year -> new mini-da-party my dears
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~ chaosmakers ~ and avelin
#new year -> new mini-da-party my dears#dragon age 2#dragon age#dragon age fanart#and tags oghfrhffg#aveline vallen#varric tethras#merrill#DOG HAWKE#not really but i gave him red mark on purpose#fenris#anders#isabela
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Entertainment Weekly, July
Cover: Tenet stars Robert Pattinson, John David Washington and Elizabeth Debicki
Page 1: Contents
Page 3: Sound Bites
Page 5: Editor’s Note
Page 7: Watch, read, listen, engage -- for those seeking insight into what African-Americans face on a daily basis from both institutions and individuals and how those challenges have been depicted in the media and popular entertainment
Page 8: 13th, Watchmen
Page 9: Frontline: A Class Divided, Dear White People, Code Switch, Pass Over
Page 10: The Must List -- Memoirs and Misinformation by Jim Carrey
Page 12: Haim -- Women in Music Pt. III, I’ll Be Gone in the Dark
Page 13: Sex and Vanity by Kevin Kwan
Page 14: Q&A Margo Price, Palm Springs
Page 16: The Truth, Babyteeth
Page 17: The Last of Us Part II, MTV’s Cribs -- Ja Rule, 50 Cent, Mariah Carey
Page 19: First Take -- The Now
Page 21: Star Trek: Lower Decks
Page 22: Industry
Page 24: Cover Story -- The show must go on -- after months of lockdown Hollywood hopes Christopher Nolan’s time-twisting thriller Tenet can lure audiences back to theaters
Page 32: Peacock Preview
Page 34: Brave New World
Page 35: Q&A Soleil Moon Frye of Punky Brewster
Page 36: Saved by the Bell, Intelligence, Battlestar Galactica, Dr. Death, Expecting
Page 37: Psych 2: Lassie Come Home
Page 38: Oral History of Scott Pilgrim vs. the World with Edgar Wright, Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Chris Evans, Ellen Wong, Kieran Culkin, Bryan Lee O’Malley, Jason Schwartzman
Page 44: News + Reviews -- Emmy Cam-pains
Page 47: Our dream Emmy lineup
Page 50: Movies -- John Lewis: Good Trouble, Miss Juneteenth, Da 5 Bloods
Page 51: Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga
Page 52: A.J. Jacobs reveals his trick for spicing up movie and TV marathons
Page 54: With summer blockbusters largely on ice a spate of smart new documentaries find their chance to shine -- Athlete A, Welcome to Chechnya, For They Know Not What They Do
Page 55: Judd Apatow
Page 56: TV -- Unaired Pilots -- in 2006 creator Liz Teigelaar headed to Vancouver to shoot a pilot with Jessy Schram and Ben Barnes titled Split Decision about how our choices define us but it never saw the light of day
Page 58: Rebirth of the legal thriller -- ratings killed TV’s lawyers but Perry Mason revives the famous defender just in time for the genre’s new dark age
Page 60: John Lithgow -- before lawyering up on Perry Mason the six-time Emmy-winning actor breaks down his chameleonic fame by explaining how fans know him best
Page 62: Search Party
Page 63: What to Watch
Page 64: The Animal Stars of Quarantine -- Brody, Zipper, Olive and Mabel, Betty
Page 67: These stars are happy to meet your wine needs -- Post Malone, Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt, Jon Bon Jovi and Jesse Bongiovi, John Legend
Page 72: Music -- Will vinyl survive the pandemic?
Page 73: Choe X Halle
Page 74: Mini-Oral History -- how Phoebe Bridgers and a few familiar faces came together to make the singer-songwriter’s bruising new album Punisher
Page 76: Q+A John Legend -- the 41-year-old singer and activist talks about his new album Bigger Love, nostalgia for his old work and how to fix the Grammys
Page 78: Books -- Authors Nic Stone and Kim Johnson discuss the power and pain of writing about black lives for a young-adult audience in this moment and beyond
Page 80: David Mitchell -- the Cloud Atlas author’s latest novel is unlike any he’s written before: structured like an album Utopia Avenue follows a British rock band seeking stardom in 1967 but as is tradition for David Mitchell the tale contains echoes of his past books -- major themes and Easter eggs alike. We break them down here
Page 81: One of the most decorated poets alive Natasha Trethewey confronts her traumatic past in the brutal beautiful memoir Memorial Drive
Page 82: Pop Culture of My Life -- Max Brooks -- the World War Z mastermind is back with the bigfoot horror novel Devolution. Here he reveals his own personal fandoms
Page 84: The Bullseye
#tabloid toc#tenet#robert pattinson#rob pattinson#rpattz#john david washington#elizabeth debicki#christopher nolan#margo price#soleil moon frye#punky brewster#scott pilgram vs the world#scott pilgrim vs. the world#judd apatow#john lithgow#phoebe bridgers#punisher#john legend#nic stone#kim johnson#david mitchell#utopia avenue#natasha trethewey#memorial drive#max brooks
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About Time -Peter Parker x Reader
(hehe what a convenient gif)
Summary: Based off of the first few scenes from the movie ‘About Time’ (which I highly recommend). There’s a new year’s party and the countdown starts. Everyone gets a kiss at the end, except for you and Peter. If only he could go back in time and do it all over. If only... Warnings:
awkward fluffiness
constant interruptions
these ‘...’
also Uncle Ben is alive in this fic (that’s not really a warning, but just to let you know)
and lastly, that shitty gif at the top... I made that
Author’s Note: This is my submission for @holland-peters writing challenge! I chose the prompt ‘New Years Kiss’
Masterlist
It was almost a miracle that Peter was at a party, and with Ned too. The moment he was invited to the New Years celebration there was no hesitation in accepting.
He was here and yet it didn’t seem as great as he had first hoped and imagined. His best friend seemed to be having more fun than him (Ned’s hat tuned out to be a crowd pleaser). The music was too loud. All the drinks were spiked. Still, there were a lot of pretty girls around, despite the fact that most of them wouldn’t even look at Peter, let alone talk to him.
Peter peered down at his watch again as he stood in front of a large fish tank, a mini aquarium. It was almost time for the countdown, and there weren’t that many people in the room with him. He wandered curiously into another room, unwillingly bumping into a girl, resulting in yelling and spiked-Fanta covered dresses. Apologising profusely, Peter shuffled away from the commotion and bit his lip, mentally slapping himself for doing something so embarrassing.
“There you are!” Ned appeared beside him with a large grin. He took his friend’s arm. “It’s nearly time, everyone’s downstairs!”
Peter could just barely hear him over the music, but followed, shouting, “I-I think I should just go home! I should have left ages ago!”
“What?!”
“I said I think I should—!”
“Ten, nine, eight...!”
Ned’s pace picked up suddenly and Peter felt his stomach drop. “Quick, quick, quick!” In a hurry he pushed through the entrance to the living room and indeed, everyone was in there. Ned raced forward to get to the more populated area of the room, leaving his friend alone by the door.
“Seven, six, five...!”
Taking in an anxious gulp, Peter turned to see a girl standing beside him. She looked just as out of place as he did, if not more.
“Four, three...!”
It took him a second to realise that it was Y/N L/N, the always-happy girl in his English class. She gave him a shy smile. He couldn’t help but return the gesture.
“Two...!”
Couples stood beside each other, ready for the last second to come.
Sure, Peter thought that Y/N was a sweet girl but he had only ever talked to her about English, and not even outside of class. She was merely an acquaintance. He couldn’t just kiss her without knowing her fully, could he?
This was the longest ten seconds of his life.
“One! Happy New Year!” Everyone cheered. Peter’s Adam’s apple bobbed in an awkward gulp as he turned back to the girl beside him. She span around toward him, fiddling with her fingers causing the boy’s heart to sink. She was just as nervous as he was, maybe even more. If he couldn’t make a move now, then he’d get reminded of his chickening out every time he’d step into English class.
With a deep breath he had made his decision and began to lean down to Y/N. Her eyes seemed hopeful as her head began to tilt back the slightest bit. His lips were just millimetres away from hers, before he grabbed her hand and shook it roughly, as though he could shake away the awkwardness.
“H-Happy New Year,” He sheepishly grinned.
She didn’t respond, only her eyes widened in bewilderment. Her arm went limp and he only took this as an opportunity to grip her hand tighter. Now as an attempt to squeeze out the nerves.
Peter didn’t expect a response. However when Y/N snatched her hand away from his and turned away from him, he couldn’t have felt more regret at that moment.
She bit her lip, hard. Peter watched with guilt as the corners of her mouth attempted to lift into a sad smile, but to no avail it dropped the second it got there.
Everyone inside the room was still occupied. Lips against lips, arms around necks, hands on cheeks. Peter couldn’t see Ned but could only assume that he was doing the same as everybody else. Y/N and Peter could only stand there and watch.
“Sorry...” He muttered. Then the DJ commenced to turn on a romantic track.
She shook her head and her eyes shut tightly. Only the back side of her head was visible now— he could only assume she was shedding tears. Her first seconds of a brand new year were stolen by Peter’s selfish hesitance. If only he could go back in time to go through the whole dumb party again just to give her the kiss that - Peter just now realised - she wanted. If only.
~∆~∆~
“Hey... Peter.”
The boy groaned and shifted in his bed. The memories of the night before were still vivid in his mind, he couldn’t sleep.
“Wake up,” May spoke gently, squeezing his shoulder reassuringly. She knew about her nephew’s night, after he came home with the gloomiest aura, the droopiest eyes and the most melancholic expression possible. “Your Uncle wants to talk to you. He says it’s important... Won’t tell me what it’s about, that man.”
Peter sure didn’t feel that it was the best time to talk, but managed to pick himself up and throw on the random t-shirt and jeans hanging over the head of his desk chair.
Aunt May watched with concerned eyes as he shuffled to his Uncle’s room. He walked in with a neutral expression, yet the way Uncle Ben was standing by May’s and his bed made him curious.
“Ah, Peter.”
The said boy stopped in his tracks.
“Come in, come in. Please do... sit down.” Ben said awkwardly, motioning to the lone wooden chair beside the bed.
Peter waddled up to it, giving his Uncle a look before, indeed, sitting down. “If this is about what I think it is, then you’re a bit late. I have learnt about it at school and, well, the potential risks… b-but if this is about last night, I promise you I didn’t do it—”
Ben chuckled and shook his head, “No, no, no. This is something completely different. In fact, this is an odd moment for me…” He shuffled as he stood and decided to sit himself down on the edge of the bed. “Because, I had the exact same conversation when I was your age, but I had it with my father. And after it, my life was never the same.” He laughed gently to ease Peter’s obvious concern. “So, I approach it pretty, um… nervously.”
The teenager’s brow raised with anticipation and he let out a breathy chuckle, “Okay, when your ready then, it’s all very mysterious.”
“Right…” Ben bit his lip and his head ducked for a moment, “Right. Pete, my dear nephew, uh, the—uh… the simple fact is that the men in this family have always had the ability to—” He paused and hid one of his hands into the pocket of his pants while the other he placed onto his head “—this is going to sound strange. I mean, weird in fact.”
Peter grinned, but sent yet another look to his Uncle. Whatever this was, he actually felt rather excited to hear about now, despite the events from the night before.
“Be ready for spooky town,” His hand came out of his pocket and he laughed again, “But there’s this family secret. And the secret is, that the men in the family can…” He paused once again, only adding to Peter’s anticipation. Ben drew in a breath, “…travel in time.”
“…”
Silence remained in the room. Uncle Ben was playing games. What kind of adult-to-child talk was this? Peter simply stared at him in astonishment, with eyes wide and lips in a straight line, speechless.
“Well, more accurately back in time,” Ben continued, ignoring the fact that his nephew did not look like he was believing a single thing coming out of his mouth. “You know, we can’t travel into the future—“
“This is such a weird joke.”
“It’s seriously, not a joke.”
There was a pause where Peter could only think for a second before blurting out, “So, you’re saying that my Dad and your Dad and his brothers and what-not, could all travel…”
His Uncle nodded his head enthusiastically.
“…back in time?”
“Absolutely.”
“And you still do?”
“Absolutely.”
Peter could only simply nod his head, not buying into this absurd ‘talk’. Still, Ben continued as though everything he was saying was easy to grasp.
“But it’s not as dramatic as it sounds. Only in my own life; I can only go to places where I actually was and can remember. I can’t kill Hitler, or… get painted by Leonardo da Vinci—“
“Okay, okay, stop.” Peter held out his hand and let out a nervous chuckle. Then he sighed and shook his head, “Um, if it’s true, which it isn’t—“
“Although it is—“
“Although it isn’t. Obviously. But if it was, which it’s not—“
“Which it is—“
“Which it isn’t. But if it was, how would I actually…”
“But how is the easy bit, in fact,” He smiled brightly as he stood up from the bed and looked down at his nephew, “You go into a dark place - big closets are useful generally, toilets; if you’re lucky - then you clench your fists, like this.” He placed his hands by his sides and clenched his fists in demonstration, “Then think of the moment you’re going to, and you’ll find yourself there.” Ben shrugged and sat back down onto the bed as a matter-of-factly.
Peter remained silent in response so his Uncle eased the awkward atmosphere with a gentle smile.
“Well, after a bit of a stumble and a rumble and a tumble.”
“Wow…” He managed to breathe out.
“Is as good a reaction as any. I was expecting much worse.”
Peter shook his head and scoffed, “Well, this is so obviously a joke!”
“It’s not a joke,” Ben said as softly as possible, “Why would I lie to someone I’m… fairly fond of.” He smiled again, adding a shrug on the word ‘fairly’.
The teenager sighed and stood up from the wooden chair, able to look down at his Uncle now. He held a smirk on his face. “Okay. But, when I come back in here after standing in my closet, with my fists clenched… you’re going to be in so much trouble, Uncle Ben.”
The adult laughed heartily at the boy’s reaction. Immediately after, putting on a sarcastic serious face, raising an eyebrow in a teasing manner. “Well let’s see, shall we?”
It would be a miracle if Peter really could travel in time. He’d be able to make everything right, all from the start. He could take back every awkward moment, every stupid thing he had ever said. And he could make Y/N happy.
“Oh, and Peter try and do something interesting.”
Uncle Ben always found a way to interrupt some beautiful thoughts.
“So much trouble,” Peter repeated waving a teasing finger at his Uncle, “And I mean it. Really.”
With a chuckle and a playful shake of his head, Peter made his way back to his room. Aunt May was rather surprised at his sudden change of mood - he walked past with a grin on his face and he didn’t slam the door!
Peter sighed. ‘Twas the time to play along with his Uncle’s joke, and stand in a closet with his fists clenching whilst thinking about one of the worst nights of his life. Still, there could be a chance to travel in time. After all it’s not everyday that someone gets bitten by a radioactive spider and suddenly becomes one of the most powerful superheroes around.
The teenager smiled at the thought, taking in a breath as he moved away some of his clothes and climbed into his closet. He reached out to the handles and slowly began to pull the doors back till they shut with a click.
“Here goes,” Peter mumbled. His fingers curled into his palm by his sides and though it wasn’t specified by Uncle Ben, he shut his eyes tightly. And he thought of the moment.
~∆~∆~
Peter gasped, and his eyes opened wildly. He felt a strange sensation, and no, he knew it wasn’t his spidey senses. In a hurry he opened the closet and found himself in a completely different room. He gasped again and looked down at his clothes, they were different. And as if on cue, music loud enough to shake the whole house made its way through his ears. There was laughter too, and a lot of loud chatter.
“No way...” He said breathlessly. Shakily, he walked out of the room only to be met with the same mini aquarium he stared at for most of the party. At this party. There was only one moment he was here for, so he checked his watch with urgency. It read 11:58. Almost time.
He ran to exit the room and narrowly missed bumping into a group of girls holding spiked Fanta.
They turned around to him and scoffed. “Watch where you’re going next time.”
He apologised profusely as he shuffled away from the girls and bit his lip to keep himself from laughing. It was all déjà vu. Last time they were all drenched, but this time he just knew it was coming.
“There you are!” Ned appeared beside him with a large grin. Peter wondered when he’d pop up again. “It’s nearly time, everyone’s downstairs!” He took Peter’s arm, leading him to the countdown. The moment.
Peter could just barely hear him over the music, but followed with nothing to shout to him. He didn’t want to go home this second time. He had to do this.
“Ten, nine, eight...!”
Ned’s pace picked up suddenly and Peter felt his stomach drop. “Quick, quick, quick!” In a hurry he pushed through the entrance to the living room and indeed, everyone was in there. Just as expected. Ned raced forward to get to the more populated area of the room, leaving his friend alone by the door. Not that Peter minded now.
“Seven, six, five...!”
Taking in an anxious gulp, Peter turned to see Y/N, as expected again, standing beside him. She was fiddling with her fingers and hands.
“Four, three...!”
She gave him a shy smile and he could have sworn her cheeks became tinted with the gentlest colour of pink. He couldn’t help but return the gesture.
“Two...!”
And just the same as it was the night before, couples stood beside each other, ready for the last second of the countdown to come. He made eye contact with Y/N only for his brown orbs to trail down to her lips.
“One! Happy New Year!” Everyone cheered.
Sucking in one last breath, he dipped his head and pressed his lips to hers, as though he had nothing to lose. Y/N’s lips were surprisingly soft and the kiss lasted longer than he had anticipated, as he placed his awkwardly bare hand onto her cheek, pulling her closer. The music changed into the romantic track and he let his lips leave the warmth of Y/N’s closeness. Peter’s eyes opened gently, only to meet with the most contagious smile and the happiest eyes he’d ever seen in his life.
Y/N bit her lip and giggled softly, and she swayed with cute shyness attempting to look anywhere but at Peter. Whenever she did however meet his gaze, she’d grin bigger and bite her lip harder.
Peter could have sworn his heart skipped a beat from just feeling her giddiness radiate off of her. He made her this way. The kiss she wanted was fulfilled, despite his inexperience in the art.
“Um… thank you Peter.”
He hadn’t even realised she had spoken, not until he noticed that she was actually managing to keep eye-contact with him.
“O-Oh, no problem, Y/N.” They both giggled. There was no intention of leaving one another’s side.
“I-I’ve never kissed anyone before,” She said.
“I-um-I haven’t either,” His reply was sheepish.
“That’s hard to believe, you seemed to know what you were doing.”
He only nodded, “I just tried to go with the flow. And I guess watching movies helps too.”
Y/N’s laugh was gentle and she flashed another brilliant smile. “If I could travel back in time… I know it sounds stupid, but if I could… I would have loved to hang out with you more. Maybe even kiss you again.”
Now it was time for him to be giddy. Sure, she couldn’t travel in time, but Peter could. “Well, we can make that happen. Just… give me a minute?”
One of her eyebrows raised, but she chuckled along with an unsure shrug, “Sure? But, I will see you again, right?”
“I promise.” His lips curled up for Y/N. And he bolted straight upstairs. He passed the girls with the Fanta and the mini aquarium, into the bedroom. The closet was still open from when he had come out before the New Year. He eagerly climbed in and shut the doors. He clenched his fists by his sides, mentally noting to thank his Uncle Ben.
Permanent Peter Parker Taglist (cross out means I can’t tag you ;-; ): @grandmascottlang @skittles-anime-123 @starlightfound @angelpparker @spidey-shit @just-a-random-fangril @commandertrek @sillyrayofdarkness @panicnowandrun @ukulele-tea-and-ocean @built4broadway @angelias134 @starlightfound @parkersmichelle @noir-spiderr @someshadeofblack
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#hollandpeters500wc#peter parker x reader#peter parker#peter parker one shot#peter parker imagine#about time movie#about time#tom holland x reader#tom holland one shot#tom holland imagine#tom holland#peter parker x reader insert#tom holland x reader insert
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Periodic Rookie Groups Report No. 13
As established in the previous Rookie Report, in terms of total rookie group debuts, 2018 was uncharacteristically light with only 70 groups debuting. Over the first six months of this year, that number has decreased as four groups have confirmed their disbandment. They are as follows:
UNI.T: The project girl group (May ‘18), from KBS’ The Unit, disbanded in October 2018 following their second comeback.
UNB: The project boy group (April ‘18), also from KBS’ The Unit, disbanded as planned on January 27 of this year following their final concert in Japan.
BNF: A letter posted to the boy group’s (April ‘18)official Twitter on February 14, announced that the group was disbanding following the departure of two members and the military enlistment of the third member.
YJIG: On May 17th, GR Entertainment announced on the girl group’s (September ‘18) official fan café that, following a discussion with the members, the group would be disbanding.
Factoring in these four disbandments brings the total number of active groups that debuted in 2018 to 66—44 girl groups and 22 boy groups. Of these 66 groups, 30 of them or 45%, made a comeback or released new music between January and June of this year, with 10 groups doing so more than once. Conversely, this means that 36 groups or 55% that debuted in 2018 did not make a comeback or release new music in the first half of the year.
This is mostly good news though. While over half of the groups that debuted last year have yet to make a comeback this year, that is typical. By my own calculations, on average 45% of groups who debuted the previous year make at least one comeback or release new music between January and June. This means that while 2018’s numbers in terms of total debuts may have been below expectations, in terms of comebacks and new music releases, their numbers are as anticipated.
Korean Releases from ‘18 Rookie Groups: January - June 2019
Note: Releases marked with an asterisk (*) indicate an additional release from group following their initial release
January
12 AboutU - “Where I Am” (Single)
15 ATEEZ - TREASURE EP. 2: Zero To One (Mini Album)
15 12DAL - “-17°” (Single)
30 Neon Punch - Watch Out (Mini Album)
February
08 Pierce - “Shadow” (Single)
09 D:amant - “I want to be a woman” (Single)
12 12DAL - “Fall In Love At Night” (Single)*
13 SATURDAY - “WiFi” (Single)
19 LOONA - [X X] (Album)
25 A Train to Autumn - “Farewell Again” (Single)
26 (G)I-DLE - I made (Mini Album)
March
03 AboutU - “Sunrise Bird” (Single)*
06 S.I.S - “Always Be Your Girl” (Single)
12 Dreamnote - “Hakuna Matata” (Single)
12 12DAL - “What the Spring” (Single)*
13 GWSN - The Park In the Night (Mini Album)
18 S#AFLA - “You’ve Changed” (Single)
24 Stray Kids - Clé 1 : Miroh (Mini Album)
26 JBJ95 - Awake (Mini Album)
April
01 D:amant - “I don’t have an iPhone” (Single)*
01 IZ*ONE - Heart*IZ (Mini Album)
05 ALiKE - “Real Love” (Single)
07 CAMILA - “Take Me Home” (Single)
09 AboutU - “Can’t Stop Loving U” (Single)*
12 12DAL - “Thumbs Up” (Single)*
22 TARGET - “Beautiful” (Single)
26 DESTINY - “Medusa” (Single)
29 A Train to Autumn - “Spring Rain” (Single)*
29 SPECTRUM - “AFTER PARTY” (Single)
May
02 My Darling - “Kung Chi Da” (Single)
02 Pierce - “Change” (Single)*
10 Forestella - “Dear Moon” (Single)
22 Forestella - Mystique (Album)*
12 Maywish - “Srr” (Single)
27 D-Crunch - M0527 (Mini Album)
30 12DAL - “Don’t Care” (Single)*
June
04 fromis_9 - “Fun!” (Single)
06 AboutU - “Top 2 Toe” (Single)*
10 ATEEZ - Treasure Ep.3 : One To All (Mini Album)*
11 GIRLKIND - “S.O.R.R.Y” (Single)
12 NOIR - Abyss (Mini Album)
14 IZ*ONE - “Buenos Aires” (Single)*
19 Stray Kids - Clé 2 : Yellow Wood (Mini Album)*
20 N.Tic - “Fiction” (Single)
21 SATURDAY - “To Sunday Gwiyomi” (Single)*
26 (G)I-DLE - “Uh-Oh” (Single)*
Still from 1THE9 - "Spotlight"
Between January 1 and June 30 of this year, 47 new groups debuted — 21 girl groups, 25 boy groups, and 1 co-ed group. In comparison to the same period the previous year, that saw 32 groups, this amounts to a 47% increase in the number of new groups debuting.
It is not hard to deduce what caused this shift. Girl groups saw a 24% increase with debuts jumping to 21 debuts this year in comparison to last year’s 17 debuts. Similarly, while last year saw the debut of no co-ed groups, this year has already seen one. And then there is the matter of boy groups, who showed the most dramatic change. Boy group debuts increased 67% in comparison to the same period last year, when only 15 boy groups debuted.
As I wrote in Rookie Report No. 11, half-year reports are not the place for sweeping conclusions; it is merely too early. Trends can reverse back, especially if debuts are pushed into next year or fall through altogether. Yet that does not mean these numbers do not mean anything. They are a promising sign, one that signals that last year’s market contraction may have been more of a temporary setback and not a harbinger of a new normal.
January and June saw the greatest number of debuts with 10 new groups debuting both months.
February saw the least number of debuts with only 5 new groups debuting that month.
Methodology: http://blog.mjohnso.com/methodology
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tumblr fweinds
a year ago, i was tagged by @suplosers on two questionnaires and it is only now, a year later that i was able to answer em. i’m so sorry it took me this long but yah i’m just glad to get thru dis milestone, answering the first tumblr get to know ya post i was @ at... yaayyy ^^
rules: answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people.
I tag: tbd haha i still have to dig thru meh notifs to see which ones apparently took an interest in me so i’d like to take an interest in as well haha but oh @you-guys--are-losers, ur doing this whahaha hope it’s not too much of a bother, no presh watsoever ;3
the last
1. drink: ughh it's dis shitty stuff called hydrite w/c is basically salt water cus im sick rn and it's supposed to rehydrate ur shts or something hahaha
but dat was like a week ago... as of da moment i posted dis, it’s coffee from mini stop dat i drank at like 530 in da morn while i waited until i could enter the school cus i had to commute 3 hours w/ lil to none sleep
2. phone call: my father or one of my best friends
3. text message: the last one i texted was my sister and the last one i got a text from was dis org in school about the location for recruitment/auditions/interview
4. song you listened to: billy jean by michael jackson and i listened to it for meh tomdaya fic hahaha. But i also listened to halo by beyonce, untouchable and dress by taylor swift, and some other songs magmt mentions in her tomdaya fic hehe a week ago
rn, a metal cover of toxic by our last night
5. time you cried: haha i don't actually remember the context of it (i could find out tho haha cus i sent da pic to my best friend) but i took a pic of it while i did it which was on... july 16 hahaha. Oh but w8 oh sht i think i cried after that fudge w8 i don't remember the date (i think i can find this out too hahaha) but i wrote a sortof goodbye confessions letter to one of my dear friends and i wrote there that i externally cried (b4 i just said internally haha) so i'm not entirely sure i cried but i think im pretty sure i teared up hehe
6. dated someone twice: hahaha i haven't even had a legit love interest yet 😆😂 buuutt my best friend and i have "dated" as in spent entire days together w/ just the two of us, we even went to mcdonalds for valentine's day and got each other gifts hihihi aahhh gosh i miss her :'(
7. kissed someone and regretted it: haha im not even sure if dis happened and i have no plans on asking her about it but i remember when i was a kiddo, when my sis came home for some reason i kissed her on the lips hahaha dont remember if accidental or i just brain farted heck i aint even sure if it happened but das all i can answer cus well like i said, see #6 😆😂😆😂
8. been cheated on: hhmmm probs not, i have no idea if ive been cheated on in an unromantic way hahaha but in da romantic way, like i said, no love interest hahaha
Oh w8 does being someone's crush (i aint sure but it seemed like it) and crushing on dat dude but dat dude crushing on someone else too count as cheating? 😆😂😆😂
9. lost someone special: yes, all of my grandparents are dead. I've also lost pets, and i fear i may lose some of my friends due to the distance among us in this time of our lives
10. been depressed: i always wanna be careful over how to define depression. Like wat constitutes it... but yes, i think i have. Not sure, mind you, but yes, at the beginning of gr 7 i was really alone, i think i was bullied and i think i was depressed and going thru a really dark phase of my life back then. But then again, i have to say, i'm not sure.
11. gotten drunk and thrown up: hahaha nope. I'm looking forward to getting drunk tho. Im currently underage so im not allowed to drink dat much yet but yeah i wanna know my limits hehehe i hope im da kinda gurl who can handle her liquor but i have drank and i have to say it made me all loopy and weird and just like woke or high or something hahaha so yeah man im excited to get trashed on my 18th bday hahaha (hopefully i get to do this tho huhuhu)
3 favourite colours
12. Pink
13. Blue
14. Gray
in the last year have you
15. made new friends: yyeeesssss and i'm so glad i have hihi. I have made friends w/ a select group of my blockmates and they're awesome and weird, i hope to strengthen our bond in da future hehe. Ooohhh and i sure hope that you guys are losers is my friend cus she's been rlly great :')
16. fallen out of love: i guess the closest i've come to falling out of love in a romantic way is moving on from da heavy crushin on meh crush. But i dunno, i still think he's a unicorn n pretty special to me so i dunno hahaha.
But bro, i do think i have fallen out of love. With tv shows, with characters. Like i used to be so passionate about a few shows and characters but now all i have towards them is regret heck i cant even remember wat dey are but i know dat der was love lost. I know it.
17. laughed until you cried: hahaha yaasss i think so. It's either when i was with my best dearest friends or during the class of dis really cool and funny as heck joker teacher who makes us laugh in EVERY SINGLE CLASS hahaha ahhh das guy's so cool
18. found out someone was talking about you: oohh yah yah i think so. Either from my best friends or from a few of my old classmates i care about and had gotten close with. Da best friend ones was about something in my past/history (g7) and the classmates one i think was just dem talking about me and they told me about it ooohhh i think it was my crush hahahaha. They told me dat my crush actually admired me a lot hehe. There was one time my friend (the one who told me about dis) was putting make up on me for a school film, and my crush was da cam guy and he told my friend i looked pretty. Sooo im pretty lucky dat- oh sht w8 i dunno if it's dis year but oh w8 no, it was on my bday last year (dec 20) and da same friend said she was sorry cus apparently da bois make fun of me or something and she was sorry cus she laughed along too hahaha but i didnt mind cus i know im weird and i dont even know what dey say about me in da first place hahahaha. Ok das it im done, i think ive overshared now hahaha 😆😂😆😂
19. met someone who changed you: my best friends. Ive thought about it based on wat sup losers said about change for da better and i dont rlly think of change as something dat happens quick, i think it happens over time and u dont even notice it. So ok oh sht i think im wrong cus i met my best friends 4/6 years ago hahaha but for reals tho, i was in a dark place and if it werent for dem i think id still be lost lonely and sad. Uuhhmmm in regards to answering the question correctly, i guess my blockmates count since they inspire/challenge me to be better. OH SHT W8 i def think you guys are losers and dead end street and tomdaya receipts and tout de suite have changed me hehehe. Da first 2 in dat dey inspired me to write more hehe. Da 1st one inspired me to do this so i think this counts as change hehe. And da last 2 changed me in dat bcus i met dem, i became OBSESSED w/ tomdaya hahaha.
20. found out who your friends are: yes, i have actually. And it's all because i am now currently a college freshman as well as my friends.
21. kissed someone on your Facebook list: hahaha my fam i guess hahaha. But no one in a romantic context.
general
22. how many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: hhmmm i guess id say about 200 since i know 4 sections of around 40 ppl and da rest is like fam and ppl ive met once/twice or have passed by haha
23. do you have any pets: yaaaassss 3 doggos: albie, juju, and biggie girl. Juju has a pupper named tchalla called dat cus he black hehehe and biggie has 2 biglets named mermer (meredith) and crissy (cristina) cus they're sisters 😍😊😊
My fam have also had a buncha dogs n puppers before but they were either given away or passed away. My bro also has dis cat named bob and i think he counts as a semi pet since my bro's home is a fam home.
24. do you want to change your name: uuhhh i wish i had an alliterative name like superheroes. Buutt im pretty happy w/ my name :')
25. what did you do for your last birthday: oohhhh i think i was at my section's christmas party it was pretty nice n emotional and i spent da rest of da day w/ 2 of meh best friends who bought me cake n food when my own fam didn't 😆😂😆😂
26. what time did you wake up: 4 am to shit cus im sick, but fell asleep again and officially got up around 730 or 8ish
27. what were you doing at midnight last night: haha tryna stay awake cus i had to drink meh meds and failed oh so much and i think i was asleep by midnight hahaha
28. name something you can’t wait for: tomdaya content, chatting/being w/ my best friends, watching da stuff i wanna watch, tumblring, reading sht i wanna read, vacation, writing fanfics, learning how to do a buncha stuff (write screenplays, make films n gifs, draw better), my bday when i hopefully get to do wat i want haha, avengers 4 and smffh, and captain marvel and antman and the wasp too i guess haha oh and the incredibles 2 and httyd 3 😍😍😍 oohhh and crazy rich asians
29. when was the last time you saw your mom: on monday which was when i was at home and not at my dad's n sis' n i's apartment in manila for school/work
31. what are you listening to right now: commercials on da tv as i answer this long ass questionnaire hahaha
32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: hahaha i had to think about dis one but yah i have actually haha he was my gr 8 class mate n i like to think semi friend back den at least haha. Oh w8 but he doesn't go by tom tho, it's just thomas haha
33. something that is getting on your nerves: myself hahaha my shitty lazy ass procrastinating self hahaha 😅🙍
34. most visited website: fb specifically messenger, youtube, and tumblr
35. hair colour: hmmm black w/ a bit of brown i guess (ASIAN, YO! 😆😂😆😂)
36. long or short hair: neither, medium i guess haha. I like how long hair looks but it's such a bother n hassle haha. So i def would prefer short hair on a practical standpoint hahaha (im actually thinking of shaving the hair above my nape, yknow on da back of my head hehe)
37. do you have a crush on someone: well i dont have dat much of a crush on da crush i mentioned before, like i said haha. I have a crush on tomdaya, does dat count? 😆😂
38. what do you like about yourself: hahahaha nothing 😆😂😆😂🙍
Naahh uhhh i guess i like how much i love tv shows, i love meh fangirl self, and i like how diff n unique n weird i am, how i stand out, n dat i think my dreams are noble n worth tryin out. N i like how supportive n nice i am n im just chill on da outside haha. N sometimes i like meh face hehe. And i think dat im hilarious n weird n ppl should appreciate me more hahaha das y i crave for more validation dan consulting researchers hahaha (no one laughs at dat jokes and it's like im da only one who finds it funny and come on, man, i managed to make a research joke. Cant ya give a girl a break?)
n i guess sometimes it's good how much i care but sometimes i wish my feels could just chill for just like a minute pls
Thanks, man. I usually just focus on meh bad qualities so thanks for dis question, man :')
oh and i like dat i can swim hehe
39. piercings: i have holes on my ears for earrings but i don't really wear dem
40. blood type: a, i think?
41. nickname: sam, sab, and i rlly want to be called smells cus it's like a more me version of mels from melody hahaha
42. relationship status: single, yo. Oh w8 but i am married to my bed and fandoms so dey always come first. Plus i love my friends 😍😊
43. zodiac: sagittarius i think but i dont rlly know/care about zodiac sht. Tho it's nice if it does match up hehe
44. pronouns: uhhh i dont know wat to put here but i assume dis refers to wat i wish to be referred by ssoooo she, her, and a genderless pronoun in my language siya
45. favourite tv show: ughh i cant choose. Friends, grey's anatomy, phineas and ferb, avatar: the last airbender, black mirror, doctor who, and all of michael schur's stuff, and modern family, grimm, person of interest, pushing daisies, scrubs, happy endings, forever, how i met your mother, gravity falls, sherlock, and yknow wat? Yah, supernatural too and the httyd shows and suits :') oooohhh w8 and how to get away w/ murder and i guess big bang theory as well 😃 the end of the fucking world, legends of tomorrow, crazy ex-girlfriend, the good place, timeless but it’s kinda depressing so speaking of w/c game of thrones and west world and a series of unfortunate events and stranger things and scorpion and lost in space and for anime, let’s go with yakitate japan and boku no hero academia
46. tattoos: none, but i rlly want one and even have a list of tattoos i want (pretty minimalist), i just have to think of da perf place tho (both where to put it and where to get it) and find out if i can still donate meh bod if i have tattoos, but one of da ones i rlly want is smileys on meh fingers hehe
47. right or left handed: right, but my ma says im kinda ambidextrous n i kinda wish i could develop it hehe
48. surgery: haha nope, never. But in terms of an interest, i love grey's anatomy 😆😂
50. sport: ooohh my main sport is swimming cus my siblings are all swimmers so i am too. But i have played other sports for school like badminton, table tennis, volleyball, some water game i dont remember haha, and a combat sport in my country called arnis
51. vacation: christmas vacay and i cant wait huhu
52. pair of trainers: uhhh are trainers rubber shoes? I have a couple, i guess.
GENERAL
53. eating: my dad (who cooked our meal), sis, and i ate afritada (chicken dat's tomatoey basically) for dinner
54. drinking: just water, but ugh i have to drink da hydrite sht again 😑����
55. I’m about to: finish dis questionnaire n fall asleep haha
56. waiting for: sleep n happiness
57. want: to sleep n write n tumblr n watch n read n for all my problems to disappear
58. get married: yeahhh... but i think it's highly unlikely, man. So i aint counting on it but i do want it to happen, it seems nice having someone to spend da rest of your life with :')
59. career: hahaha i'm still just a college student, just a newly minted freshman actually. But i like to consider myself a fulltime fangirl hahaha
WHICH IS BETTER
60. hugs or kisses: well, i havent rlly made out with anyone yet so im gonna have to say hugs i guess w/c ofc i love haha but i wish someone bigger than me could cuddle me for once in my life 😢
61. lips or eyes: lips cus they just seem so soft and sensual hehe. Plus i dunno man, eyes are kinda gross with muta (da sht in da corner of ur eyes when you wake up, it's a filipino word) and sht. And ya have to wear glasses/contacts if dey weak so it's just such a hassle. Tho i do recognize their importance n stuff 😊
62. shorter or taller: ugh TALLER. im a pretty tall gal so for once id like to be da lil spoon for once, for someone to be able to carry me and ya know all dat jazz. But i wouldnt give up my height for anything, makes me feel confident and better than everyone else mwuehehehehehehe
63. older or younger: uuuhhh for now i think it's a bit weird to date someone younger dan me, but for me personally, wat age i'd like to be, YOUNGER ALL DA WAY. it was just way less stressful and innocent back den, id give anything to go back 🙍
64. nice arms or nice stomach: haha nice arms if it means i can swing around them and they can carry me whahaha. But i do like em abs, i wanna feel wat abs feel like just once in my life hahaha
65. hookup or relationship: ooohhh i guess i fancy myself having a relationship for now hehe. Havent even had one yet haha.
66. troublemaker or hesitant: i am a hesitant troublemaker whahahahaha. Like i have all these ideas of thangs to do n sometimes i do dem but sometimes da situation n context scares me into not doing it like a wuss hahaha
HAVE YOU EVER:
67. kissed a stranger: haha nope.
68. drank hard liquor: haha nope but am looking forward to it hehe
69. lost glasses/contact lenses: thankfully i havent needed any yet whew
70. turned someone down: uhhh i guess the closest i came to "turning someone down" was being awkward around my crush haha but to be fair i think he was awkward too hahaha. And in an unromantic sense, i turned down a blockmate who offered to be my partner in an assignment becus i already had a partner hahahaha 😅
71. sex on the first date: haha havent experienced it if das wat ur askin. Maybe imma be dat kinda person after ive had a couple of relationships but for now i'll settle for someone actually being interested in me hahaha
73. had your heart broken: yes, by tv shows, and by da crappiness of life in general 🙇
74. been arrested: hahahaha nope but dat would be CRAZY hahaha
75. cried when someone died: yes, whether in real life or in tv shows, i have cried bcus of death 😢
76. fallen for a friend: look, man, my best friend's probably the most important person in my life who i couldnt bear to lose. I love her more dan anything in da world so i dunno if our friendship is something more dan da "typical" best friends i just know dat i love her n dat i dont wanna lose her n dat our bond's nothing like any other relationship ive ever had
DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
77. yourself: hahahaha not rlly 😅 im pretty unreliable tbh and i make tons of mistakes and ill never be enough ever and just in general hate myself and have 0 self esteem hahaha 😅😅😅😓
But there's a chance i could improve tho, a very very VERY small tiny chance... but i guess i'll take wat i can get :/
78. miracles: hhmmm not in da way most ppl think about miracles in dat, it's da impossible event. I like to think it's a miracle that i have the family dat i have, da friends dat i have, and da life dat i have cus honestly i think i'd be dead w/o em. It's a fucking miracle i have things im passionate about and things that i love and im surrounded by ppl who i love and who love me as well. So yeah, i guess i believe in those kinds of miracles :')
79. love at first sight: hahaha not rlly. Look, man, im a fat girl who doesnt rlly care dat much about looks so unless a person manages to fall for someone while dat someone was doing something dat was a huge indicator of their personality and thus it's not only da appearance dat da person "fell in love w/", den i rlly dont believe in love at first sight. It's just infatuation, bruh. Love at first sight is cheap and u dont rlly know any thing about dat person other than the fact that they're pretty (why they caught ur eye in da 1st place imo) and nothin, zilch. Unless, like i said, they were doing something important to dem n indicative of deir personality. But even then, it wouldnt be love. Like i said, it'd be infatuation cus imo love is deep and takes time and cant just HAPPEN just cus u looked at someone and thought he/she was pretty 😒. True love would mean knowing dat person to deir bone but wanting to know more about dem. So to conclude a ted talk from a bitter person w/ a non existent love life 😆😂😂😂, love at first sight doesnt exist, is cheap, and is discriminatory to "ugly" ppl.
80. santa claus: hahaha i know he probs doesnt exist and is u know basically just capitalism n marketing hahaha. But i dunno, man, i kinda wanna believe he exists just cus it's more fun n childlike n innocent 😍
81. kiss on the first date: hahaha yeah i guess so but i think i probs would have had to known dat person for a while before we decided to date. I havent had a first kiss yet sooo i aint just willin to give dat out to someone i just met/knew for like a day or something hahaha (i have no idea how dating works) 😆😂😆😂😆😂
82. angels: huh... i like to think guardian angels exist cus dat means there are like angels of pure light sent down from heaven to protect us from any harm w/c is just nice to think about, yknow? Hehe. But angels in da catholic sense... i dont think i do, bruh. Sorry :/ *shrugs*
OTHER:
84. eye colour: uuhhhh brown, i guess? Like i said, i dont rlly care much for eyes hahaha 😅 ooohh but da purple eyes thang ive seen on da internet sounds cool hahaha
85. favourite movie: aaaahhhhh there's just so many good movies thoo
But agghh fine. Ive come to notice dat my genre's pretty lighthearted w/c is nice actually hehe
Spider-Man: Homecoming, Rogue One, 10 Things I Hate About You, Moana, Coco, Mulan, Avengers: Infinity War, White Chicks cus it's just so goddamn funny and iconic 😆😂😆😂😍, i'm not- ok you know wat, da Pixar movies in general ok? I mean, how can ya not? Oh which reminds me, Tangled, and The Princess and The Frog, oohh The Avengers is also a pretty solid movie, ooohhh Love, Simon, godhs dat was just such a wholesome sweet n nice movie :'), oh and den i freaking love the Scream franchise, man. It's so good :'), oooohhh w8 maybe The Dark Knight cus heath ledger was just da fuking bomb in dat movie, oohh and About Time's da sweetest time travel movie :') w/c reminds me dat the Back to the Future franchise was just such a classic, man :') oh and yknow wat? Unbreakable's actually pretty fucking cool, man. I get shyamalan know haha. Oh and yknow wat? 100 Tula Para Kay Stella is da 1st filipino film i actually liked so it has a special place in meh heart :')
ooohhh and Black Panther, man, gods how can one not bring up Da King™? WAKANDA FOREVER :') 😄
Oh and hey yknow wat? I have a sweet spot for the Sorcerer's Apprentice. It's kinda a guilty pleasure of mine hehe 😅
Whiicchh reminds me... the HOW TO TRAIN YOUR DRAGON FRANCHISE HAS GOT MY HART WHIPPED 😭😭😭
Oh and i also rlly like when harry met sally hihi :') and i guess the OG Star Wars trilogy's got a special place in my heart even if it is da way dat it is now 😢 :')
oh and i can't forget meh guardians :') Guardians of The Galaxy is such a solid film, bro. I loved it :') ooohhh and yknow wat? I actually rlly like Ready Player One, Baby Driver, and The Mummy (the brendan frasier one, who ya kiddin 😑)
oh and yknow wat? The Wedding Singer, 50 First Dates, and Music & Lyrics has got a special place in my heart, man. Gotta admit it :')
aawww and amelie, and begin again, and flipped and hercules, and room, and spotlight, and shape of water, and ladybird, and the princess bride, and the iron giant, and the lobster, and we're the millers, and what if and man up and shrek and kimi no na wa and a quiet place and inception and the lion king and to all the boys I’ve loved before and oooh tim burton movies are pretty cool, the animated ones, and I did spend a good amount of time obsessed w/ dis one so I guess cap civil war, and then big hero 6 and wreck it ralph, and the martian and inside out, and gone girl, and the lion king and forrest gump and spider-man 1 and 2, and les miserables and the devil wears prada and the book of life and the intern and the princess diaries and miss congeniality and aladdin and confessions of a shopaholic
And ok, ok, i think im done. Hahaha das it das my list of meh all time fav movies and i feel like rewatching all of em now hahaha 😍
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Beats.And.Melody (B.A.M!) (final)
pairing/s: band! park jihoon x oc genre : angst, fluff, music (band) characters: kang daniel, ong seongwoo, kim jaehwan, bae jinyoung, yoon jisung, park woojin, lee daewhi
prompt : why were you crying over a pop rock party song?
previous (read first!!) : part 1 // part 2 // part 3
song inspiration : Letting Go by Day6
“Our next contender is well-known in the Underground, and they have been active for 4 years now practicing a succession system for their band members to keep the band running. This year, they are participating with three new members, and applied for a sub-vocalist after the renowned Son of Music, Kim Jaehwan has undergone a throat surgery. Who is their new vocalist? And will she light our hearts on fire?” The emcee narrated. Jihoon and the other members rolled their eyes.
“It’s a stinking band competition not some drama reality show,” Woojin muttered under his breath, and they all agreed. Jaehwan’s sudden withdrawal and news of Riseul’s application caused several controversies, and theories that the group may have been torn apart and Jaehwan was quitting to pursue higher goals fit for his voice, so they prepared two performances. Riseul would sing for their competition entry and Jaehwan would switch with her for an intermission.
“Let’s give it up for B.A.M!” The emcee shouted at the top of his lungs with varying pitch similar to that of a boxing battle. The spotlight rotated towards the doorway leading to the backstage and they emerged, the crowd immediately cheering upon seeing the band who was popular for their visual members.
Riseul was kept hidden in the middle of the line in between Jihoon and Jinyoung, and she stepped in front to hold the microphone from the mic stand, projecting her performance aura. The audience’s cheers softened as they observed her from head to toe , sizing her and challenging her to deem if she was fit to share the same stage with the boys the female population fantasized about.
But she met them with the same intensity that the boys had in their eyes, and she looked back to her fellow band members with a soft smile to thank them for all the help she has received for that short one month. When she finally faced the audience again, beatified by the confidence, she breathe out to greet them.
“1,2,3 !” She timed for the other members to join in. “ We’re B.A.M! Bul ane maeum (Heart on Fire) - ready to set your heart on fire.” She pointed her index finger to mimic a gun and shot to a member of the audience. The audience raved upon hearing the band tagline after a year again. The band members reserved the tagline for special occasions only since they were frequent performers of the Underground. Seongwoo explained that tirelessly repeating the tagline would make it lose its value and excitement.
All the lights turned off, and the audience became silent like all their other performances. Seongwoo raised his drumsticks to signal them, and on the final tack, Woojin strum on his bass. Jinyoung, Seongwoo and Riseul harmonized for the opening and the audience reacted to the cleanliness of their harmony.
Slowly, the lights began to switch on, their brightness modulated to fit the mood of the slow rock they were performing. Her hands trembled, and she looked afar as if she was talking to Youngchul. The words she wanted Youngchul to hear the most, and the words she needed to hear. She cannot run away anymore.
Her voice broke into tenderness and melancholy as she strummed the guitar with carefulness and lightness. The first verse was her solo, from singing to playing the guitar. The hairs from their arms rose as her voice touched their ears, and everyone was filled with a sense of nostalgia and ache.
“I got something to say, let’s meet up. Now we sit silently - facing each other. I keep thinking in my head. Should I say this or not
Although I don’t want to - ” she raised her voice to reach the notes of the final line, and the audience covered their mouths to hide their awe and to keep themselves from breaking the solemnity by cheering.
She continued to sing, and Woojin and Jihoon finally strummed their guitar. The three of them jibed in for a fuller sound.
“I’d been holding on to you for so long But now I must let go There’s nothing I can do for you It’s the only way to make you happy So I let go, let go, let go
So you can smile again – ” after that line, Jinyoung showcased his keyboarding of the high notes on a mini solo part before Jihoon and Riseul sang together. “So you can be happy -”
A stray tear landed on her cheeks, and the emotions were beginning to eat her. Her mind and heart kept on shouting for Youngchul. She bit her lip and wiped the tear before holding on to the guitar again. Jihoon moved closer to her and mouthed off something she didn’t understand, but knew were words of comfort.
On their nineteenth birthday, Youngchul was scheduled to have a heart transplant, and they waited for a donor. She didn’t tell him that she filled up her college application form and career form to that of ‘cardiac surgeon’ mainly because they were running out of time.
She wanted to fit 15 years into 15 days. That was the first time in her life she wished that she was older than Youngchul. Much much older than him, so maybe they would have crossed paths on that hospital, not as a sick patient and girlfriend but as patient and doctor.
“Can you teach me how to play happy birthday on the guitar?” Riseul carried the guitar to his bed, and he pointed to the chords and separately taught her the strumming. Needless to say, she failed miserably, and the 1 minute song took 5 minutes to play. He took the guitar from her and played, adding his own style and advance techniques to boast of his skills.
“Happy birthday to you ~ Happy birthday to you ~” he started and she sang along. “Happy birthday dear Riseul ~” he sang while she, “Happy birthday dear Youngchul~”
“Happy birthday to us.” They finished together.
Their last birthday together.
The second verse began and played with more instruments, starting off with Seongwoo’s drumming, and Jinyoung fully joining to provide a soft, high sound from his keyboard. Woojin’s bass produced a vibration that reverberated inside the small venue. The audience cannot take their eyes away from them, fully immersed in the brand new concept they showcased.
“I remember our good times The days of laughter and fun Memories ever so precious fill up inside me Although I don’t want to –”
Riseul resumed to sing the chorus again, the stage lights finally fully illuminated to reveal the tears falling from her eyes. Seongwoo fastened the beat of the drums and hardened his hold on the sticks. The strength of the performance reaching its climax as they played louder. She let go of the guitar, and held the microphone fully, bringing it close to her lips.
“I’d been holding on to you for so long But now I must let go There’s nothing I can do for you It’s the only way to make you happy So I let go, let go, let go”
“Holding on to you Will do you no good I know so I struggle to get you out The times we had together, our dear memories So I let go, let go, let go So you can smile again.”
She let go of the microphone and bent her head down to pick up the guitar as Woojin removed his microphone from the mic stand with coolness and his lips curled as the audience swooned, and shouted when he rapped.
“Ah let go, let go The bright future we sought out together I know, I know, we can no longer wish for a happy ending Like the land that hardens after the rain Pain is only temporary, someday you will meet Someone who can make you happier That’s the kind of love you deserve I got to say goodbye right now - ”
Riseul sang the chorus again while the others harmonized for a high pitch, and all the instruments stopped from playing before Seongwoo drummed again and like a bam the instruments chorused like fire heating up the whole venue.
They ended the song by dividing the last chorus for the different members, and she picked up the last line while Jinyoung played the keyboard without other instruments.
“So I let go …
So you can smile someday”
Jinyoung ended the song by a keyboard solo of a slowed-down tempo of the final line, and she closed her eyes,shutting off all the cheers that came after their performance.
“We’ll always be together,” Youngchul beamed when they were 10 years old. She pouted and looked on the ground again, kicking the dirt on the soil. After contemplating for a minute, she looked up, and found Youngchul with his pinky raised.
“Promise?” She asked - dubious. He nodded and they interlaced their pinkies.
“Promise.”
(please listen and watch this vid ! this is how the performance went and sounded like !!!)
youtube
The audience beamed and thunderous claps filled the hall until one suddenly started, “ Encore !” And from one, to two, to a group until the whole crowd was chanting for them to perform an encore. They were all shocked by the response of the audience, and she covered her mouth, and they all bowed and waved off as they entered the backstage again for a quick rest before the band, with Jaehwan would perform for an intermission.
Upon entering the backstage, Jihoon tackled her for a hug. “We did it! We did it!” He hugged and told over her ear. The other guys joined until she had a hard time to breath and they were all laughing. Tears couldn’t stop flowing from her eyes, but now they were of happiness. Funny how Jihoon’s wish got granted. The others began moving out of the backstage again, and Jihoon stared at her with a smile.
He cupped her face, leaned close and kissed her as he laughed. They were at the height of euphoria, so that was why she kissed him back until their breaths fell short and they pulled away from each other. He tucked the stray hair behind her ear, and wiped the tears off her face through his sleeves.
And it only registered that they kissed when he walked off after patting her head. She stood like an idiot for a minute or so until a text from Daniel brought her back to reality. Quickly, she left the backstage and left the venue and met Daniel by the arched bike parking area.
He sat on one curved metal pole that served as parking for bikes, and waved at her with his crescent eyes and wide smile. “Oppa!” She ran to him, hugging her, and they sat side by side on that uncomfortable metal pole.
“You were amazing back there,” Daniel started, and brought out his phone to play a clip of her. She pushed him off because of embarrassment. They looked up at the night sky, and Daniel tried to hum the melody of the song. “I’m sure he listened well. He played the guitar for you after all” As he tried to piece different patterns from the stars.
She swayed her feet. “That’s why you were so worried about me, right? You knew I was stuck in the past.” Daniel nodded.
“Riseul, it’s okay to forget and continue with your life.” She frowned and shook her head, leaning it on his shoulder. “I won’t forget. There’s no way I’ll forget the 19 years I spent with Youngchul, oppa. But, like how his guitar strummed new melodies, so will I . I won’t lock myself up in those memories anymore, but every once in a while I’ll remember them and look back at them.” She smiled, firmness visible on her eyes.
Daniel leaned back and raised his arms and placed them on his nape. “Aigoo. Look at you acting like a grown-up. ” He teased her and hung his arm on her shoulder.
“Oppa, I think I like someone new now.” She smiled softly and Daniel nodded knowingly.
“It’s that guitar boy, right?” He asked referring to Jihoon, and Riseul’s eyes widened and she blushed. He wriggled his eyebrows when he saw that his guess was correct. “He kept looking at you during the performance. You’re really still a kid.” He ruffled her hair playfully and she pinched his cheeks in annoyance. When the two have gotten tired, Daniel glanced at his cellphone and saw how late it was.
“You still have work, right?” Riseul asked, and Daniel nodded. He flicked her forehead, and couldn’t resist on pinching her cheeks until they were red. He turned around and walked for a bit. Riseul shouted over the distance, “Oppa ! I’ll see you again!” She waved off excitedly and headed towards the staircase.
Upon entering the darkness of the stairs, she felt her body bump into someone. Her eyes adjusted to the darkness and she saw that it was Jihoon. “You were not in the backstage, so I thought..” He reasoned. “Oh. Sorry. I was just talking to someone. Let’s go?” She led the way and didn’t notice the frown that built up on Jihoon’s face after witnessing everything.
Everything settled down after 3 weeks since the performance. Apparently, it spread throughout their whole school that Riseul performed with the three most popular boys of the school after their performance went viral on the internet. So for three whole weeks, whenever the four of them walked together, there were curious glances from the students, requests for autograph and hopes that Riseul would perform with the band again.
The Underground became more popular, and it closed down after the owner deemed that the place should be renovated to fit more people, so they were all stuck in just playing in the practice room. Jaehwan wanted her to join the band as the second vocalist, and he became inspired to create songs that fit her style.
There was so much happening that she didn’t know if that was why it seemed like the kiss between her and Jihoon never happened.
Maybe she was just dreaming it up. Right, she was too happy that day too, so it wasn’t strange if she hallucinated for a bit. She sat by the music room, a place that has become their hangout place now, and strummed playfully on the guitar as she found her fingers reaching for the chords of happy birthday. She didn’t know why she didn’t play that for Youngchul during his birthday, and why she wanted to show her progress on the song.
“Happy birthday, to you ~” she whispered. “Happy birthday to you ~ ” her fingers switched chords. “Happy birthday dear Youngchul ~ ” the door of the music room opened and Jihoon entered with Woojin and Jinyoung. “Happy birthday to you ~”
“Who’s Youngchul?” Jinyoung innocently asked, and she raised her eyebrows. “You were listening to me?”
“Not my idea,” Woojin raised his hands defensively and pointed to Jihoon who averted Riseul’s eyes. She plopped the guitar on the bag and shrugged. “He’s a friend.”
“Just a friend?” Jinyoung probed, and Jihoon jabbed him with his elbow. He reached for his stomach and plopped on the floor in pain. Riseul laughed and upon seeing the calendar hung on the wall across her, she was reminded about the upcoming event that weekend.
“Jihoon?” She asked and he turned his head towards her.
“Do you have something to do on Saturday?”
Days passed until it was already Saturday, and Jihoon paced back in forth inside his house checking for the nth time his outfit. He looked. Okay? Good? Handsome? He didn’t know. The man who was with Riseul during the competition looked older, and more dependable and more handsome than him so he didn’t know how he fared. His phone was getting blown up by the number of notifications from the old group chat of the band . They created a new one for Riseul and the old group chat died down until today when Jihoon sent a picture of himself.
“You’re crazy.” Woojin replied.
“That’s so funny! I’ll never delete this pic hehehe” Jinyoung sent and began editing Jihoon’s picture.
“Very memorable first date („ಡωಡ„)” Seongwoo commented, and Jihoon immediately replied back.
“It’s not a date!”
They all sent memes, and continued teasing him until he decided to mute the chat box, and face that day. It wasn’t a date, after all, Riseul told her that she wanted him to meet someone. Most probably that man who was with Riseul during the competition. He sighed, and fixed his hair again before grabbing his bag and commuting to the cafe where they agreed to meet up.
Daniel bubbled his iced tea, and Riseul shot him a judging look. How can a 22 year old still bubble their drinks? They sat beside the glass pane to better see when Jihoon would arrive, and when someone passed by, her head did a double sweep and blinked.
That wasn’t Jihoon right?
The bell jiggled, and she looked at the door.
It was Jihoon. She spurted the cola she was drinking to Daniel and coughed. There was Jihoon with a ridiculously light pink hair,and Daniel’s did not back down with his own shade of pink.
He immediately found them, and he waved when he noticed her, but there was a sharp gaze that suddenly descended on his eyes upon seeing Daniel. Nevertheless, Jihoon maintained his civil front. Jihoon sat beside her, and Riseul closed her eyes upon noticing that the attention of the customers in the restaurant was upon them.
Cotton candy and friend.
She already felt the embarrassment being seen between two men with cotton candy coloured hair,and she buried her face on her hands abruptly standing up. The two stood up to follow her but she stretched her hands between them,and pointed at both of them. “I am not going to be walking in between two guys with ridiculously pink hair.” She threatened, and Daniel laughed as he ruffled his own hair.
But Riseul couldn’t do anything about it, so she walked around the shopping district of Seoul in between Jihoon and Daniel with a few passerby turning their head when they pass by. She didn’t miss how one girl pointed at them to her friends and mouthed how cute they were.
She sighed and dragged them to one store and bought the two of them black caps to partially cover their hair. Daniel complained about how it would ruin his hair, but Riseul glared at him to wear it. Jihoon continued testing the atmosphere.
Daniel and Riseul didn’t hold hands, but Jihoon didn’t miss how caring Daniel was for her. How he took the guitar bag from Riseul, and she didn’t complain about it. His eyes twitched, but he told himself that he should not jump into conclusions although he has long jumped into one.
“Where are we going?” He asked Riseul as they boarded the train.
“Busan.” She replied, and his eyes widened.
“I think it’s time that you meet him.”
They stepped foot on a cemetery and Jihoon looked around as he followed Riseul and Daniel. They bought the flowers in Seoul, and incense upon reaching Busan. The afternoon breeze made the trees rustle. Riseul clipped her hair back as she found Youngchul’s grave.
Kang Youngchul, the grave read. The same Youngchul that they asked about. His eyes moved towards the birth date. Same birthday as Riseul. Daniel sat on the grass and greeted first.
“Youngchul. Yo,” he laughed and sniffed. “Your brother’s here. It’s only been less than a month since I last visited so maybe you’re already tired of my face. I’m sure you’re never tired of Riseul’s face, but that aside. We’re doing okay. Mom is taking care of Rooney and Peter. Rooney misses you, but she’s getting closer to me. You always sucked at taking care of her so it always seemed like I both own them. I’m running out of things to say, but can you tell God that I want to meet my girlfriend soon? Riseul keeps on telling me to go find a girlfriend and stop bugging her and worrying about her…” he continued to talk to Youngchul and Riseul stepped closer to Jihoon, still looking at Youngchul’s grave.
Well that was one problem out of Jihoon’s bag. Soon, Riseul stepped forward and began to talk to Youngchul. “Hey,” she breathed softly. “I wanted you to meet someone,” she turned her head to Jihoon, and Daniel pushed him to walk towards her. He crouched down and awkwardly waved on his grave. He wasn’t given the memo on this.
“He’s better than you in guitar,” she laughed. “I learned so much from him in almost three months, and I hope you were listening to me during the competition. I cried my eyes out there, Youngchul. You kept on telling me you’ll compose a song but you didn’t get to. Daniel oppa told me that you played the guitar for me. What’s with that?” She wiped the tears from her eyes.
“You should have told me earlier, yah ! I would have gladly sung with you, and you wouldn’t have to bribe me every time. Also! Remember, B.A.M? That one band you often gushed to me about while we were in Seoul? Guess who became their vocalist?” She pointed to herself. “They’re really the greatest.” She glanced to Jihoon, and smiled. “They’re fun, and though they have so many rituals, I’m up to memorize them. This guy here is Jihoon, and he’s the guitarist of B.A.M now. I think you’d be good friends if you guys met earlier.. ” She said slowly and lovingly. Jihoon patted her back and she motioned for him to speak.
“Youngchul-ah. It’s weird. They didn’t tell me anything about this, but it’s nice to meet you. I’m Park Jihoon. 19 years old. Zodiac sign Gemini. I like to eat lots of food. I became the guitarist of BAM last year, and three weeks ago I participated in my first ever competition. My hands were shaking crazy that time, and Riseul was crying so hard, she was ugly. But now that I know why she was crying that day, and the other times I’ve seen her cry. Please let me take care of her,” he bowed his head and Daniel whistled with Jihoon’s declaration.
Riseul stared at him, eyes wide with what she heard. “I really like her a lot. And I promise I wouldn’t make her cry. Only tears of joy! And I’ll share to her that stage you loved so much,” he raised his right hand as a pledge. “I’m sure you’ll remember my face because I dyed my hair to pink. I hope to talk to you again. Please continue watching Riseul in Heaven.” And he bowed and clasped his hands together so that they could all pray.
Daniel chose to return home, but Riseul told him that she can’t because she had school that Monday. That day, Daniel didn’t push to send Riseul home and he looked at Jihoon instead. “ Hey man, take care of her okay? I’m always watching,” he stretched his index and middle finger to his eyes then to Jihoon’s to jokingly threaten him.
“Don’t be childish. You’re already 22,” Riseul pushed him away, and they boarded the train. It was already night time when they returned to Seoul, and Jihoon insisted on sending Riseul home. They didn’t touch the topic of Jihoon’s declaration on the train. Instead, Riseul told him about Youngchul.
“He was a crybaby back then, but he always acted like he was the bravest out of them all. Youngchul really took the meaning of his name seriously,” she laughed as she narrated the story of their childhood .
He couldn’t help but feel envy towards him. The perfectness of the two to each other, he felt it through her stories, but at the same time he was thankful that he met Riseul through him. And he was determined to keep his promise to Youngchul.
Riseul stood there waiting for him in front of her doorstep.
“Did you dye your hair because of Daniel oppa?” She asked, suppressing a grin. He pouts as she ruffled it. “You mistook him as my boyfriend, didn’t you?” Why was she good at guessing? He nodded and she laughed.
“You were chummy with him. You even let him carry your guitar. He casually touched you during the competition. I was really jealous back then.” He explained like a lost child.
“Says the guy who acted normal after he kissed me,” she retorted. “Then he would just proclaim something like that without notifying me. You’re very confusing.”
He looked at her with panicked expression, and shook his head. “I’m not! I mean…”
She returned his gaze expectantly.
“Can I carry your guitar?” He stuttered, and she broke into another laughter. “That’s it? Sure, Jihoon. Here’s my guitar,” she unstrapped it and handed it to Jihoon who face palmed at his awkwardness. He calmed himself and Riseul giggled upon seeing the new side of Jihoon.
It wasn’t the guitar nor was it the pink hair that Jihoon wanted to have. Jihoon took a heavy breath, his ears slowly turning red, heart shifting from his steady and rhythmic beat to that of erratic and thunderous beats.
It wasn’t the most musically pleasing beat, but his heart beat played a melody that proved his love.
“Will you be my girlfriend?”
wanna one masterlist
a/n : I didn’t want to let this fanfic even finish, but now it’s already over. I really wanted to write wanna one members as band members ever since this photoshoot where they held music instruments, and then came Day6 and I was like, “THERE”S NO WAY IM NOT GONNA DEVELOP THIS PLOT AND PUBLISH IT” . Now, here we are, and it’s been another journey.
I hope you all enjoyed this, and I’m off to write a few more fics for you guys ! Leave a feedback below or message me or something so we can all share in the feels T_T
B.A.M now disbanding ;;-;;
#wanna one#wanna one scenarios#wanna one imagines#wanna one fanfic#wanna one fic#wanna one fluff#wanna one angst#park jihoon#park jihoon scenarios#park jihoon imagines#ong seongwoo#ong seongwoo scenarios#kang daniel#kang daniel scenarios#kang daniel imagines#bae jinyoung#bae jinyoung scenarios#kim jaehwan#kim jaehwan scenarios#park woojin#park woojin scenarios#park woojin imagines#lee daehwi#lee daehwi scenarios#ongniel#yoon jisung#ong seongwu#park jihoon x oc#produce 101#produce 101 scenarios
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To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
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Creepin' It Real-A Hallowe'en Party To End Them All!
Hello my pretties! It's time for this year's annual Halloween party and this year's was a doozy and the best yet! Held at a historic Cemetery Lodge the atmosphere was pure electric- from the wild thunderstorms above to the spooky 13 items to the party guests that dressed like it was the last hurrah! And check out some of these easy last minute Halloween food ideas for the big day tomorrow!
For the last 10 years worth of Halloween parties, it has never rained for my Halloween party - ever. But this year the rain would prove to be my nemesis as well as a blessing. If you were in Sydney at the time, chances were you were drenched in the rain or at least hiding from the flash foods and lightning.
It was all happening at Cemetery Lodge where I was holed up decorating and putting out food. There was a fire that blocked up the main street, the royal visit had closed off the harbour tunnel and the thunder grumbled outside the spooky little cottage.
"What if everyone cancels?" I said to Mr NQN. My phone buzzed constantly. Friends giving me weather updates-I'm sure trying to be helpful but only adding to the stress because I had been checking the forecast every 10 minutes myself.
Bloody eyeball punch
The messages read:
"Looks like rain...And thunder"
"We are running really late and Garth just dropped all the beers on the kitchen floor so now he has to clean it up"
"Headed your way! Had a bit of costume issue"
"I can't eat anything as I'm on an elimination diet" (that was an Elliott ;) )
Tarantula Cheese Ball
Voodoo doll hand pies
I pictured myself sitting in my outfit with Mr NQN at my side, just the two of us waiting for guests for an hour. But then people started arriving - early no less!
Werewolf cupcakes (recipe here)
Serpent Sandwich
Guests marvelled at lovely little cottage attached to cemetery. It was built in 1848 and was where the cemetery worker and his family lived-the side door is even where the bodies would be wheeled in to his office!
Ouija Board Cake (recipe here)
It has now been transformed into a cosy home by the lovely tenants and it is warm and full of colours. There's a community garden to the side and chickens that lay eggs as well as the world's oldest bunny.
Frog spawn drink
It has a kooky charm to it and I was honoured to have my party there. I transformed the space to become spooky with decorations from The Party People, my favourite party shop because their Halloween selection is incredible!
Face pie (recipe here)
Scared tacos
Food-wise, because I was warned that the oven was a bit dodgy, I kept to things that could be made ahead of time and didn't need to be heated.
Skull sandwiches that can be made and frozen ahead of time
Brain chocolate peanut butter truffles
I get so excited every year to make Halloween food that I have a little draft of items that I add to throughout the year. I've already got 3 Halloween food ideas for next year!
Marzipan teeth
This was my costume this year. I decided to match with an item that I had made and came as a voodoo doll. The added bonus is that the makeup was super quick to do and required just 5 minutes with eyeliner and eyeshadow. I drew on stitches with the eyeliner and made one button eye and I was done!
The first to arrive were the Day of the Dead family with Viggo, Louise and baby Henry. He was born on Halloween last year so we dubbed him Halloween Henry!
Then came Araluen and her daughter Aura who came as Miss Havisham and Estella. Araluen loves dress up and had most of the outfit already-the skirt she found at the local Vinnies shop!
Tuulikki arrived with them (by the way they caught a bus dressed like this and she reported no odd looks). She came as an eccentric witch. She, like her son Mr NQN hates photos and liked being behind a mask!
Oh and here is Mr NQN! He was a bit worried that nobody would recognise his costume. Can you guess who he is? Here's a quote to help you, "Oh hi Mark!"
My sometime vegetarian friend Laura came as a Day of the Dead skeleton and brought me some gorgeous dark red roses. She knows the way to my heart!
And then Ivy and Ryan arrived. I thought that they might come as Donald and Melania (because terrifying!) but she came as Carrie and he came as Pennywise with an absolutely terrifying mask that freaked out a lot of people. What is it about clowns?
Then JY and Ben arrived as Crazy Rich Asians-how inspired and current pop culture!
Then we had not one but two Egyptians arrive. The first was Tania who came as a regal Nefertiti. And then I got a message from Queen Viv. Now cemetery lodge isn't the easiest to find so I gave everyone a map and everyone found it just fine but you know who is going to be the person that gets lost finding it? Yup our dear Queen Viv.
"Lorraine, where are you?" she said worriedly on her voicemail. She entered wearing her home made mummy outfit that she made using strips of painting sheet. Hers was the outfit that everyone wanted to own and when she told people that she was taking it to the Salvos afterwards there was a mini stampede for who would get it.
One of the most spectacular entrances was Amaya, Laporello and their kids Jett and Finn who came as Star Wars characters. They always make such an effort for Halloween and I was so impressed at how much effort they had gone to. Finn's RED2 even had light up buttons and sound!
Nina and Garth were not too far behind. She came as a Evil Countess and he came as the Joker-because she loves anything Batman related and I think she liked the costume more than he did!
The last to arrive were Girl Next Door and Baz who came as Instagram hashtags. There were some notable absences-Miss America has started a new job doing shift work and he was upset that he couldn't make it because he was even more prepared with this costume than ever.
Others like Julie and Lou and her family couldn't come due to health reasons but I was so excited to have my nearest and dearest and most fun friends and family with me on the night.
Time really flew-it was as though it was going at warp speed. People devoured the food and talked-there is one common element to this Halloween party and that is everyone is so much fun and easy going and friendly. People that come alone still have a great time because everyone is so welcoming.
It then came time for Halloween charades, a tradition at these parties. We split into two groups and wrote our list of terrifying things which was a mix of horror films, current affairs and scary people (eg shirtless Putin riding on horseback). It was so much fun that JY started to get an asthma attack from laughing so much but Laura had a ventolin inhaler on her so that fixed it up straight away! Phew!
The Finn piped up. Could he have a go at charades? I think we might have a little ghoul in the making here!
Then the last hardcore people all adjourned to the nearby cemetery. It was perfectly still, traces of the earlier thunderstorm gone. It was deathly and surprisingly quiet given that busy King Street was just a couple of streets away. Laura took out star shaped sparklers and Tania told us stories about the first fleet graves that lay here.
It was almost midnight when Queen Viv said "I must disappear back into my crypt!" And with that we bid her and each of the party guests goodbye only to learn later that some of my gruesome party guests had to escape the cemetery by climbing over the walls (a sight which I would have loved to have seen!). Queen Viv reported the next day: "Passersby barely interested. So Newtown!"
And without further ado here are the recipes below!
So tell me Dear Reader, are you terrified of clowns? And could you guess Mr NQN's costume? And would you be scared if you saw someone scary climbing over a cemetery wall?
Brain Truffles
All Original Recipes by Lorraine Elliott
These were one of my favourite Halloween treats. They were easy enough to make but could sit shelf stable so they didn't always need to be refrigerated. I used cranberries as the sweetener instead of jam to make them shelf stable but also because the white chocolate was sweet enough as it was.
Makes a dozen brain truffles
Preparation time: 30 minutes plus chilling time
Cooking time: 20 minutes
700g/25ozs. pink candy melts
1 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup dried cranberries
Red icing gel pen
Silicone brain chocolate or ice cube mold
Step 1 - Melt the candy melts in a microwave at 50% power in 30 second intervals stirring. Spoon some into a brain chocolate or ice cube mold. Coat the inside thickly with chocolate as shown above. Chill until completely set.
Step 2 - Spoon in peanut butter and cranberries. Spread some chocolate on top and smooth over the top, making sure to remove any chocolate around the outer edge that may prevent them from coming out of the mold cleanly. If it is very hot where you are, you can always put it in the freezer between each step.
Step 3 - Place in the freezer for 15 minutes or until set. Unmold and repeat with the remaining chocolate and filling.
Pop out of the silicon mold
Ta-da!
Tarantula Cheese Ball
This cheese ball is super easy and effective to make and makes for great party food especially if you have vegetarians. You can use your favourite cheeses as long as you have a cream cheese base that will bind it all together.
250g/8.8ozs cream cheese (full fat, low fat isn't stiff enough)
50g/1.7ozs. gorgonzola dolce
1 cup cheddar cheese grated
1/2 cup parmesan cheese, grated
2 teaspoons onion powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 cup poppyseeds
4 pipe cleaners for legs, cut in half
2 Pimento olive eyes
Crackers to serve
Step 1 - Blend all ingredients together until you get a smooth paste. Have a piece of cling film and empty out the cheese onto this and shape it into a ball. Place in the fridge for 20 minutes or so.
Step 2 - Place poppyseeds in a plate with a rim and remove the cheese ball from the film and roll around in the poppyseeds covering on all sides. Place on serving plate and add eyes and legs and surround with crackers.
Scared Tacos
These were a vegetarian and gluten free option that I also thought looked adorably cute. These are best made just before serving as the taco shells need to be heated in the oven but the rest can be made ahead of time. We served these around 8:30pm once people had snacked on the other food as I like brining out a hot option and everyone seemed to love them.
12 piece taco shell kit
Oil for frying
1 onion, peeled and diced
425g/15ozs. tin refried beans
salsa from kit
Taco seasoning from kit
Lettuce leaves
1 cup shredded Cheese
340g/12ozs. cherry bocconcini
Pimento olives, sliced in three for eyes
Step 1 - Heat oil in a frypan and then add the onion and saute until cooked. Add the refried beans, salsa and taco seasoning and stir until well mixed and cooked through.
Step 2 - Heat taco shells in the oven according to directions. Add some lettuce, refried beans and cheese to the taco. Then top with two cherry bocconcini eyes topped with sliced pimento olives.
Pâté Skull Sandwiches
Super easy and effective, not to mention delicious, these pâté skull sandwiches require minimum equipment and ingredients. These can be made a day or two ahead of time and then stored in a container and frozen. Thaw when needed.
1 loaf white bread
150g/5ozs. chicken liver pâté
A small amount of cranberry sauce or berry jam
Step 1 - Use a skull cutter to cut out the shape in the bread and divide into two even numbered piles of skulls. Use a large straw or an apple corer to cut out eyes in one half of the pile.
Step 2 - Spread the other pile of skulls with the pâté. Then spread the sauce around the eye area. Cover with the other half with the eyes cut out.
Slithering Serpent Bagel
This isn't a recipe so much as a guide as to how you might want to make this!
3 bagels, cut in half
Tuna salad or ham and cheese
Red capsicum forked tongue
Pimento olive slices and 2 slices cucumber for eyes
Step 1 - Arrange bagels in a S shape pattern alternating them but making the head at one end with 1/4 bagel. Top with tuna salad and ham/cheese and place olives for eyes and capsicum for the tongue.
Frog Spawn Drink
This drink was a real hit mainly because my friends are foodies and when I ask them if they like "slimy" things they answer yes. Basil seeds are similar to chia seeds-they swell up on cooking but the added advantage of these is that they look like eyes. This drink is similar to falooda which uses basil seeds. It's sweet, milky and delicious and I love the extra texture that the basil seeds give it.
1/4 cup basil seeds
500ml/2 cups water
500ml/2 cups milk
4 tablespoons matcha powder
Pandan extract
Sugar to taste
Buyer's tip: you can find these basil seeds at Indian and Asian grocery stores. They are called "wild starch pearl" but thankfully have a helpful pic. Pandan extract or flavouring can also be found at Asian grocery stores.
Step 1 - Firstly cook the basil seeds. Place them into a pot of boiling water and allow to expand for a couple of minutes. Drain and chill.
Uncooked basil seeds
Cooked basil seeds
Step 2 - Take 1/2 cup of water and mix with the matcha powder. Put the rest of the water and milk onto boil and then mix with the matcha mixture and some pandan extract. Dissolve sugar into this mixture (how much according to your taste). You can serve this hot or cold-I served it cold with the basil seeds on the side.
The pandan extract gives it the bright green colour
Eyeball Blood Cocktail
The real feature of this cocktail is the eyeball which is easily made with radishes. Keep the radish tail on so that it looks like the optic nerve that attaches the eyeball to the head!
500ml / 2 cups cranberry juice, chilled
100ml/3.5ozs. vodka
6 radishes
6 pimento olive slices
3 toothpicks, cut in half
Step 1 - Mix the cranberry juice and vodka together. Cut the ends off the radishes at the green end and cut out a hole to fit the pimento olives. Peel down the sides of the radishes.
Step 2 - Fit the olive into the hole and secure it with a toothpick and drop the eyeballs in the drink.
Source: http://www.notquitenigella.com/2018/10/30/halloween-food-party-ideas/
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Creepin' It Real-A Hallowe'en Party To End Them All!
Hello my pretties! It's time for this year's annual Halloween party and this year's was a doozy and the best yet! Held at a historic Cemetery Lodge the atmosphere was pure electric- from the wild thunderstorms above to the spooky 13 items to the party guests that dressed like it was the last hurrah! And check out some of these easy last minute Halloween food ideas for the big day tomorrow!
For the last 10 years worth of Halloween parties, it has never rained for my Halloween party - ever. But this year the rain would prove to be my nemesis as well as a blessing. If you were in Sydney at the time, chances were you were drenched in the rain or at least hiding from the flash foods and lightning.
It was all happening at Cemetery Lodge where I was holed up decorating and putting out food. There was a fire that blocked up the main street, the royal visit had closed off the harbour tunnel and the thunder grumbled outside the spooky little cottage.
"What if everyone cancels?" I said to Mr NQN. My phone buzzed constantly. Friends giving me weather updates-I'm sure trying to be helpful but only adding to the stress because I had been checking the forecast every 10 minutes myself.
Bloody eyeball punch
The messages read:
"Looks like rain...And thunder"
"We are running really late and Garth just dropped all the beers on the kitchen floor so now he has to clean it up"
"Headed your way! Had a bit of costume issue"
"I can't eat anything as I'm on an elimination diet" (that was an Elliott ;) )
Tarantula Cheese Ball
Voodoo doll hand pies
I pictured myself sitting in my outfit with Mr NQN at my side, just the two of us waiting for guests for an hour. But then people started arriving - early no less!
Werewolf cupcakes (recipe here)
Serpent Sandwich
Guests marvelled at lovely little cottage attached to cemetery. It was built in 1848 and was where the cemetery worker and his family lived-the side door is even where the bodies would be wheeled in to his office!
Ouija Board Cake (recipe here)
It has now been transformed into a cosy home by the lovely tenants and it is warm and full of colours. There's a community garden to the side and chickens that lay eggs as well as the world's oldest bunny.
Frog spawn drink
It has a kooky charm to it and I was honoured to have my party there. I transformed the space to become spooky with decorations from The Party People, my favourite party shop because their Halloween selection is incredible!
Face pie (recipe here)
Scared tacos
Food-wise, because I was warned that the oven was a bit dodgy, I kept to things that could be made ahead of time and didn't need to be heated.
Skull sandwiches that can be made and frozen ahead of time
Brain chocolate peanut butter truffles
I get so excited every year to make Halloween food that I have a little draft of items that I add to throughout the year. I've already got 3 Halloween food ideas for next year!
Marzipan teeth
This was my costume this year. I decided to match with an item that I had made and came as a voodoo doll. The added bonus is that the makeup was super quick to do and required just 5 minutes with eyeliner and eyeshadow. I drew on stitches with the eyeliner and made one button eye and I was done!
The first to arrive were the Day of the Dead family with Viggo, Louise and baby Henry. He was born on Halloween last year so we dubbed him Halloween Henry!
Then came Araluen and her daughter Aura who came as Miss Havisham and Estella. Araluen loves dress up and had most of the outfit already-the skirt she found at the local Vinnies shop!
Tuulikki arrived with them (by the way they caught a bus dressed like this and she reported no odd looks). She came as an eccentric witch. She, like her son Mr NQN hates photos and liked being behind a mask!
Oh and here is Mr NQN! He was a bit worried that nobody would recognise his costume. Can you guess who he is? Here's a quote to help you, "Oh hi Mark!"
My sometime vegetarian friend Laura came as a Day of the Dead skeleton and brought me some gorgeous dark red roses. She knows the way to my heart!
And then Ivy and Ryan arrived. I thought that they might come as Donald and Melania (because terrifying!) but she came as Carrie and he came as Pennywise with an absolutely terrifying mask that freaked out a lot of people. What is it about clowns?
Then JY and Ben arrived as Crazy Rich Asians-how inspired and current pop culture!
Then we had not one but two Egyptians arrive. The first was Tania who came as a regal Nefertiti. And then I got a message from Queen Viv. Now cemetery lodge isn't the easiest to find so I gave everyone a map and everyone found it just fine but you know who is going to be the person that gets lost finding it? Yup our dear Queen Viv.
"Lorraine, where are you?" she said worriedly on her voicemail. She entered wearing her home made mummy outfit that she made using strips of painting sheet. Hers was the outfit that everyone wanted to own and when she told people that she was taking it to the Salvos afterwards there was a mini stampede for who would get it.
One of the most spectacular entrances was Amaya, Laporello and their kids Jett and Finn who came as Star Wars characters. They always make such an effort for Halloween and I was so impressed at how much effort they had gone to. Finn's RED2 even had light up buttons and sound!
Nina and Garth were not too far behind. She came as a Evil Countess and he came as the Joker-because she loves anything Batman related and I think she liked the costume more than he did!
The last to arrive were Girl Next Door and Baz who came as Instagram hashtags. There were some notable absences-Miss America has started a new job doing shift work and he was upset that he couldn't make it because he was even more prepared with this costume than ever.
Others like Julie and Lou and her family couldn't come due to health reasons but I was so excited to have my nearest and dearest and most fun friends and family with me on the night.
Time really flew-it was as though it was going at warp speed. People devoured the food and talked-there is one common element to this Halloween party and that is everyone is so much fun and easy going and friendly. People that come alone still have a great time because everyone is so welcoming.
It then came time for Halloween charades, a tradition at these parties. We split into two groups and wrote our list of terrifying things which was a mix of horror films, current affairs and scary people (eg shirtless Putin riding on horseback). It was so much fun that JY started to get an asthma attack from laughing so much but Laura had a ventolin inhaler on her so that fixed it up straight away! Phew!
The Finn piped up. Could he have a go at charades? I think we might have a little ghoul in the making here!
Then the last hardcore people all adjourned to the nearby cemetery. It was perfectly still, traces of the earlier thunderstorm gone. It was deathly and surprisingly quiet given that busy King Street was just a couple of streets away. Laura took out star shaped sparklers and Tania told us stories about the first fleet graves that lay here.
It was almost midnight when Queen Viv said "I must disappear back into my crypt!" And with that we bid her and each of the party guests goodbye only to learn later that some of my gruesome party guests had to escape the cemetery by climbing over the walls (a sight which I would have loved to have seen!). Queen Viv reported the next day: "Passersby barely interested. So Newtown!"
And without further ado here are the recipes below!
So tell me Dear Reader, are you terrified of clowns? And could you guess Mr NQN's costume? And would you be scared if you saw someone scary climbing over a cemetery wall?
Brain Truffles
All Original Recipes by Lorraine Elliott
These were one of my favourite Halloween treats. They were easy enough to make but could sit shelf stable so they didn't always need to be refrigerated. I used cranberries as the sweetener instead of jam to make them shelf stable but also because the white chocolate was sweet enough as it was.
Makes a dozen brain truffles
Preparation time: 30 minutes plus chilling time
Cooking time: 20 minutes
700g/25ozs. pink candy melts
1 cup peanut butter
1/2 cup dried cranberries
Red icing gel pen
Silicone brain chocolate or ice cube mold
Step 1 - Melt the candy melts in a microwave at 50% power in 30 second intervals stirring. Spoon some into a brain chocolate or ice cube mold. Coat the inside thickly with chocolate as shown above. Chill until completely set.
Step 2 - Spoon in peanut butter and cranberries. Spread some chocolate on top and smooth over the top, making sure to remove any chocolate around the outer edge that may prevent them from coming out of the mold cleanly. If it is very hot where you are, you can always put it in the freezer between each step.
Step 3 - Place in the freezer for 15 minutes or until set. Unmold and repeat with the remaining chocolate and filling.
Pop out of the silicon mold
Ta-da!
Tarantula Cheese Ball
This cheese ball is super easy and effective to make and makes for great party food especially if you have vegetarians. You can use your favourite cheeses as long as you have a cream cheese base that will bind it all together.
250g/8.8ozs cream cheese (full fat, low fat isn't stiff enough)
50g/1.7ozs. gorgonzola dolce
1 cup cheddar cheese grated
1/2 cup parmesan cheese, grated
2 teaspoons onion powder
1 teaspoon garlic powder
1 cup poppyseeds
4 pipe cleaners for legs, cut in half
2 Pimento olive eyes
Crackers to serve
Step 1 - Blend all ingredients together until you get a smooth paste. Have a piece of cling film and empty out the cheese onto this and shape it into a ball. Place in the fridge for 20 minutes or so.
Step 2 - Place poppyseeds in a plate with a rim and remove the cheese ball from the film and roll around in the poppyseeds covering on all sides. Place on serving plate and add eyes and legs and surround with crackers.
Scared Tacos
These were a vegetarian and gluten free option that I also thought looked adorably cute. These are best made just before serving as the taco shells need to be heated in the oven but the rest can be made ahead of time. We served these around 8:30pm once people had snacked on the other food as I like brining out a hot option and everyone seemed to love them.
12 piece taco shell kit
Oil for frying
1 onion, peeled and diced
425g/15ozs. tin refried beans
salsa from kit
Taco seasoning from kit
Lettuce leaves
1 cup shredded Cheese
340g/12ozs. cherry bocconcini
Pimento olives, sliced in three for eyes
Step 1 - Heat oil in a frypan and then add the onion and saute until cooked. Add the refried beans, salsa and taco seasoning and stir until well mixed and cooked through.
Step 2 - Heat taco shells in the oven according to directions. Add some lettuce, refried beans and cheese to the taco. Then top with two cherry bocconcini eyes topped with sliced pimento olives.
Pâté Skull Sandwiches
Super easy and effective, not to mention delicious, these pâté skull sandwiches require minimum equipment and ingredients. These can be made a day or two ahead of time and then stored in a container and frozen. Thaw when needed.
1 loaf white bread
150g/5ozs. chicken liver pâté
A small amount of cranberry sauce or berry jam
Step 1 - Use a skull cutter to cut out the shape in the bread and divide into two even numbered piles of skulls. Use a large straw or an apple corer to cut out eyes in one half of the pile.
Step 2 - Spread the other pile of skulls with the pâté. Then spread the sauce around the eye area. Cover with the other half with the eyes cut out.
Slithering Serpent Bagel
This isn't a recipe so much as a guide as to how you might want to make this!
3 bagels, cut in half
Tuna salad or ham and cheese
Red capsicum forked tongue
Pimento olive slices and 2 slices cucumber for eyes
Step 1 - Arrange bagels in a S shape pattern alternating them but making the head at one end with 1/4 bagel. Top with tuna salad and ham/cheese and place olives for eyes and capsicum for the tongue.
Frog Spawn Drink
This drink was a real hit mainly because my friends are foodies and when I ask them if they like "slimy" things they answer yes. Basil seeds are similar to chia seeds-they swell up on cooking but the added advantage of these is that they look like eyes. This drink is similar to falooda which uses basil seeds. It's sweet, milky and delicious and I love the extra texture that the basil seeds give it.
1/4 cup basil seeds
500ml/2 cups water
500ml/2 cups milk
4 tablespoons matcha powder
Pandan extract
Sugar to taste
Buyer's tip: you can find these basil seeds at Indian and Asian grocery stores. They are called "wild starch pearl" but thankfully have a helpful pic. Pandan extract or flavouring can also be found at Asian grocery stores.
Step 1 - Firstly cook the basil seeds. Place them into a pot of boiling water and allow to expand for a couple of minutes. Drain and chill.
Uncooked basil seeds
Cooked basil seeds
Step 2 - Take 1/2 cup of water and mix with the matcha powder. Put the rest of the water and milk onto boil and then mix with the matcha mixture and some pandan extract. Dissolve sugar into this mixture (how much according to your taste). You can serve this hot or cold-I served it cold with the basil seeds on the side.
The pandan extract gives it the bright green colour
Eyeball Blood Cocktail
The real feature of this cocktail is the eyeball which is easily made with radishes. Keep the radish tail on so that it looks like the optic nerve that attaches the eyeball to the head!
500ml / 2 cups cranberry juice, chilled
100ml/3.5ozs. vodka
6 radishes
6 pimento olive slices
3 toothpicks, cut in half
Step 1 - Mix the cranberry juice and vodka together. Cut the ends off the radishes at the green end and cut out a hole to fit the pimento olives. Peel down the sides of the radishes.
Step 2 - Fit the olive into the hole and secure it with a toothpick and drop the eyeballs in the drink.
Source: http://www.notquitenigella.com/2018/10/30/halloween-food-party-ideas/
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My 2017
Just for the record:
2017 highlights :
** Socially:
- I opened my heart again to love and got engaged to My Sarah <3 at the 9th of March! & I'm preparing to get married soon!
- My sister Asmaa got the 1st place in solo music playing contest and she played music & got honoured in the 1st Artistic Creativity festival in the Faculty of Education, Assiut University.
- My 1st birthday party in my apartment thanks to my lovely Sarah.
- Attended the weddings of my cousins Hesham Nageeb & Mohammed Hassan.
- My dear friends: Ahmed Ismail Abdelazeem, Mohammed Loutfy, Ahmed Badri, Mos3ab & Dr. Ibraheem Embaby got married.
- My dear friends: Ahmed Zaher, Mahmoud Azzam & Ahmed Radwan got engaged
- My dear friend Haysam abdelbare passed the 3rd part of MRCPCH & became a member in the royal college of pediatrics & child health.
** Work related:-
- Took the final course needed for promotion "Analytical & Creative thinking"
- Have my research paper published in Assiut Medical Journal "Effect of Magnesium Sulfate on onset & Duration of low dose Rocuronium in patients undergoing Laparoscopic Cholecystectomy"
- I got my master degree certificate.
- Got promoted to be an assistant lecturer of Anesthesia and Intensive Care Department, Faculty of Medicine, Assiut University.
- I got registered to do my doctorate at Assiut university & I'm still looking for a research subject.
- Took the 'Basic assessment in ICU' course in January.
- As a member of Liver transplantation team, I did my 6th, 7th transplantation cases.
- Attended the 1st Assiut pain management workshop.
- As an Operation smile volunteer, I attended 2 mini missions in February & May, Attended the Resident Leadership Conference NEXT ASIA 2017 in July at the Philippines where I met Dr. Bill Magee the creator & father of the organization & got my Operation Smile credentiality in December.
- Had BLS (Basic Life Support) provider course renewal & was nominated to be certified as BLS instructor from the AHA (American Heart Association) & I gave 4 courses in collaboration with other instructors.
- I gave 4 ACLS (Advanced cardiovascular life support) courses in collaboration with other instructors
- Had PALS (Pediatric Advanced Life Support) provider course renewal.
- Took the ATLS (Advanced Trauma Life Support) course & got nominated as a potential instructor.
- Took the IELTS exam without preparation & got an overall score of 7. L=6 R=7.5 W=7 S=7
- Took the EDAIC part 2 exam in Lisbon & didn't pass it!
- Only passed 2 of 3 exams of the 1st part preliminary doctorate exams.
- In 2017, I almost worked in all ORs for some time & got shifts mainly in 2 places: Alrajhy Liver Institute & postoperative ICU each for about 5 months & also got shifts at trauma unit for 1 week, Anesthesia shifts for 1 week, 2 weeks at the general ICU & finally obstetrics & gynecology ICU for 1 month till now!
** Readings:-
Nothing outside medicine this year unfortunately!
** Travels:
Inside Egypt:- Cairo- El-Minia- Sohag- Red Sea
Outside Egypt:
*UAE (Dubai)
*Philippines (Manila)
*Switzerland (only as a transit in Zurich)
*Portugal (Lisbon)
--- Got promoted once to business class with Fly Emirates. :)
** What I Watched
*80 long movies from all over the world plus some short films.
4 in ordinary cinemas
3 in STEP work space
1 in Tes3enat
1 in IMAX Americana Plaza
1 in MAX Vox cinema
1 in mx4d (my first 4d experience ever)
1 in 4dX in Vox cinemas (the best 4d experience ever)
--Here is the full list with my ratings
http://www.imdb.com/list/ls06201334
*Series & Anime
- 13 reasons why!
- Friends Season 1 (midway)
- Steins;gate
- One punch Man (just started)
- Detective Conan (some episodes)
*Others:
- World Handball Championship 2017
- African Cup of Nations 2017
- Confederation cup 2017
- World Cup 2018 Qualifiers: Egypt got qualified.
**Others:
- got back to play football with friends but not in a regular basis.
- tried fifa 17 & didn't like it!
- Played a lot of PES 2017 (Favourite team: Schalke) & lot of PES 2018 (No favourite team yet) with my friends.
- tried Fifa 18 & I liked it but finally chose to play PES 2018 over it.
- New places: STEP work space (1st time to go to work space), Tes3enat
- New drinks: Sugar cane with orange juice :) & Fanta Maracuja
- My favorite team Arsenal finished in the 5th place in Season 2016-2017 & failed to qualify to UCL, the FA cup & the community shield
.- My 1st year in fantasy football world & I finished the year at the top of all classic leagues I'm competing at!
- Visited Estadio da Luz in Lisbon.
- 1st time to have an IV line inserted in me. ** This is what I remember & chose to share from 2017.
-Ups & Downs! C’est la vie!
HAPPY NEW YEAR :)
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To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
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To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
0 notes
Text
To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
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To End The Year, A Mini-Magpie With A Mini Mystery.
Has mega-fraudster Craig Gore skipped Australia? And if so, why hasnt this been reported in the media especially since he is supposed to have made a midnight flit the very day after a judge refused to allow him to leave? In other matters, one has to admit that the Townsville Bulletin is consistent it has ended the year as it started, continuing its weekly Olympic-standard shambles. And Mongrel the Barrister has left us lawyer Mark Donnelly, the man who inspired a much loved Magpie character has passed away. and our final visit to Trumpistan for 2018. But first Its hard to keep a good man down, and our fav toonist Bentley is nothing if not a good man. Even in the holiday season, he casts his jaundiced eye over the news, and brings us a different and rib-tickling perspective. This week, he was much taken as most of us were with the drone drama at Gatwick Airport in the UK. A professional drone was reported in the airports approach and departure air space, and thousands of travellers were stuck when the whole shebang was shut down for a couple of days while the wallopers tried to go hi-tech and trace the source of the bastardry. Its not fully sorted yet, but Bentley thinks the drone may have already met its fate.
Why Arent All The Gore-y Details Available?
Will ye no come back agin, laddie? Now to our mini-mystery. On December 19, this report appeared in the Courier Mail. Judge denies disgraced former rich-lister Craig Gore request to travel overseas Vanessa Marsh, The Courier-Mail December 20, 2018 2:21pm A DISGRACED former rich-lister accused of ripping off almost $800,000 from investors has broken down in court after a judge refused his request to leave the country to visit family. Lawyers for alleged fraudster Craig Gore today launched an application in the Queensland District Court, seeking for the former businessmans bail conditions to be altered to allow him to travel to Sweden to visit his wife and children. But Judge Paul Smith denied the request, saying Gore faced a long time in prison if convicted and there was a real risk he would not return to Australia to face trial. Gore is facing 12 charges of fraud over allegations he swindled about $800,000 from self-managed super fund investors in 2013-14. He also faces three charges of managing companies while disqualified. Now that seems pretty definitive and eminently sensible. But The Magpie was informed two days later, by a regular contact and mate who has always been on the money in the past, that Gore went back to court the next day on another application, and had his passport returned so he could be with his family in Sweden at Christmas. He was to return in three months to face trial and possibility of a lengthy striped suntan. The Pies contact says Gore was on a flight out of Brisbane that night at 11pm, accompanied by a lawyer (that was apparently part of the arrangement) who will return with certain paperwork. Gore will be expected to make his own way back to face his fate in March. Yeah, right. Now all that is as it may be, BUT THIS SPECTACULAR REVERSAL OF A JUDGES IMPLACABLE DECISION HAS BEEN NEITHER EXPLAINED OR APPEARED IN THE MEDIA. Well, not that The Magpie can find, after days of searching to verify. If it is true, there will be a hell of a lot of very pissed off people Gores victims and the tireless investigators who nailed him who know just how long are the odds that we will ever see this shyster again. Shades of Skase!! Perhaps we will never know how this came about if it did come about because there will be a lofty judicial silence of unaccountability if he is a no show but surely the second hearing was an open court? Hard to fathom why it wasnt reported. Mongrel The Barrister Is No More The Magpies good mate Mark Sludge Donnelly the man who partially inspired the popular Magpie character Mongrel the Barrister, died in his family home in Cairns last weekend. It is fair to say that Mark was my best mate in the halcyon days of Portraits Bar in the Exchange Hotel all through the Noughties, the years when I was reporting court matters for the Bulletin. We were part of a memorable and disparate group, the bar crowded with our marvellously mixed group every Thursday, Friday and sometimes Saturday nights. (The fondly remembered Portraits became Poseurs Bar in the newspaper column and then in this blog.) Mark was universally known as Sludge, which he happily answered to, but never fully explained, even to me, its origins apparently it had something to do with a memorable comment from a lecturer or senior teacher suggesting Marks behaviour at that time some comparable to something from the bottom of a pond. Sludge was one of the wittiest people Ive known, and his memory was nothing short of astounding, not just for quoting legal precedents but in all things, particularly pop music. He always commandeered the music machine at parties, and was a pretty good DJ. He also had an eye for a well turned ankle, and his way of getting ladies to talk about themselves endeared him to more than one. Like many a member of the Portraits push, Mark liked a drink, and some believed he was a bit too enthusiastic in this direction. But I would say that rather than having a battle with the bottle, he just had frequent skirmishes with it, as we all did and any excess rarely affected his work at the other more sedate bar, where he often shone. Mark left Townsville when his father died, to live with his mother in the family home in Cairns. He didnt practice in Cairns, and went into virtual retirement, which was plagued by ill health for some time. He returned to Townsville annually for his birthday, but I lost touch in the past few years, for which I feel a bit miserable now. Sludge is now undoubtedly arguing the finer points about the Laws of Entry with St Peter for that is certainly where this witty, soft-hearted old friend of mine now is because we all know God loves a larrikin. Mark was 62. They Really Dont Understand Language at The Astonisher, Do They? And they even get the wrong WORD for a headlines. Even when theyre trying to make a pun, which kinda depends on the right word, yes? But we got a headline quoting some bizoid saying Townsville is bracing for a great 2018. Bracing for? Ahem. Youve managed to say EXACTLY THE OPPOSITE of what you meant. Heres the dictionary definition of bracing. verb[withobject] prepare (someone or oneself) forsomethingdifficult or unpleasant:both stations arebracingthemselvesforjoblosses|policeare braced fora trafficnightmare. So although this paper goes through life like a bouncing Hari Krishna whos visited the medicine cabinet once too often, giving us totally unquestioning, unexamined glop about our economy (usually from someone with a vested interest), it seem to have inadvertently hit on the truth here. However, the most tedious aspect of the paper of late is the dreary attempts at humour in headlines, particularly about crime, a subject no one in Townsville with the exception of you folks in Flinders Street, finds the least bit funny. AND EVEN THEN, LANGUAGE FAILS YOU let alone a sharp sense of humour.Take this major front page fail on Thursday.
Swindler? My dear headline writer, stay with me on this and read slowly, feel free to move your lips as you must. Now lets see, a swindler is someone who fiddles some unsuspecting victim out of something. That person would be called a fiddler, and if hidden in a ceiling, could be described as ta da a Fiddler In The Roof. You see, this would then coincide with the hit musical of the same name oh, how we would have all fallen about, clutching our sides in mirth, and holding your superior wit in such esteem!!! But swindler? Now weve just got a headache from smacking our foreheads yet again. And this one in simply NOT TRUE. This online
The actual number of people who said (or may have said, who knows, its probably a fiddled fantasy anyway) was 55% of the 700 or so people who responded to a totally uncontrolled survey. If there area 220,000 potential readers (ha! you wish) in the circulation area, the percentage is not even .5 of one percent. But we all know that the on-line edition is sloppy, so the paper itself will temper the outlandish claims, wont it? Errr no.
This is simply lying, and treating people like morons. And still they wonder But barely have we swallowed our anger before we start scratching our heads over weird genuinely weird stories like this, which would suggest that English isnt TEL boss Patricia OCallaghans first language, or she was suffering mild sunstroke when she was penned the media release from which the story was transcribed.
This story is selective twaddle certainly straight off an unedited media release from the Dudley Do Nothings, meaningless twaddle in which Ms OCallaghan specialises. It has often been said of her that she has the gift of the gab, and aint that the truth, just about all of what she has to say, in The Pies experience, is just that meaningless gabble that sounds good until it is more thoughtfully examined. Like this: The Museum of Underwater Art, located within the heart of The Great Barrier Reef, is a proposal based on the works of international sculpture and underwater artist Jason deCaires Taylor. Whats that bit located in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef? Has there been a Krakatoa-like geographic shift we havent noticed? The Underwater Museum, one of several planned along the coast, will be, at last report, just of Maggy Island, the GBR is a at least an hour or more away by fast cat . But in it goes to the story, with a newbie cub reporter just churning out this PR bumf. But wait, theres more. We then get this prize piece of meaningless gabble from the top executive charged with attracting and promoting tourism to Townsville: Its a project that is going to enhance the Great Barrier Reef experience and also educate visitors on how we manage and live with the reef everyday Ms OCallaghan said. That is absolute poppycock that is totally meaningless. And We? Bloody WE? FFS, girl, get a bloody grip. Insulting, uppity tripe from Ms OCallaghan and lazy, presumably unsupervised reporting (read: select all, copy and paste) by a very uncurious junior reporter (read: stenographer). Really, a monkey using scrabble board wouldve made more sense. The clusterfuck continues no wonder were so deep in the shit. Other matters As if golf didnt already have enough hazards.
Words of Wisdom From Two Funny Men
Frankie Boyle The cleverest quote of the week comes from the Scottish comedian Frankie Boyle in the Guardian. But first, his preamble touched a chord for The Magpie, who can vouch for it when Mr Boyle writes: The plight of the satirist, such as it is, is a compulsion to look at the grimmest, most important thing they can think of, and then for reasons that probably wouldnt survive a really good therapist, try to make it funny. To try to address the iniquities of their society, the satirist must manufacture some hope that what theyre doing might make a difference, then type it all up and send it off somewhere before they remember that it never does. Looking back over the events of this year is a bit like holding a doll for a therapist and pointing to where the bad man hurt you. Mr Boyles point is a universal one, which can be shared by Townsvilleans looking back over the past shambolic year. But his prize quote is so subtle, that you may have to think about for a while The Pie roared after a few seconds. The murder ofJamal Khashoggiby Saudi Arabia is another very difficult subject to find the lighter side of, unless someone in the Ecuadorean embassy has clipped the story out and stuck it to the fridge. (Sigh) Dear Mystified of Mysterton, it means that the Ecuadoreans might be giving their Wikileaks guest Julian Assange a hint.
Dave Barry The other funnyman worth a quote is the inimitable Dave Barry , the American columnist who talks about Florida the way The Magpie talks about Townsville only he is far funnier, proof being that The Magpie pinches more of his lines (many) than he does of The Magpies (none). This was his challenge to a graduating class, but it can just as well apply to the year 2019. How are you, Class, going to respond when the Clock-Radio of Challenge emits the Irritating Buzz of Opportunity? Are you going to roll over and hit the Snooze Button of Complacency? Or are you going to wake up and, after performing the Bodily Functions of Preparedness, boldly grasp the Toothbrush of Tomorrow? And no matter what you do in the coming year, make sure youre always politically correct, so no snowflakes will melt before your harsh words.
And So To This Week In Trumpistan First, compare Trump as Commander In Chief of real US soldiers, on his surprise visit to Iraq
Guess whos wondering if she packed the shampoo? with this.
And now to our final gallery of the year about the man Frankie Boyle described as this troll-doll King Lear, who looks like something youd pick off a baking tray after cooking pizza above it.
And Finally How The Hell ? The Pie has been occasionally upbraided for the use of naughty words in this blog well, one word in particular. He is aware that it can be confronting, but it is the other F word Frustration that compels him to sometimes resort to other for emphasis. Anyway, so what, if its good enough for Sesame Street, its good enough for The Pie. .. So that was the year that was, and what a rip-snorter we have coming up. Turns out this edition wasnt so mini after all. Comments run throughout the holiday break 24/7, so you dont have to wait to have your say. And the New Year will look even rosier for the old bird if you think the Nest is worth a small donation to keep it neat and tidy. The how to donate button is below. HAPPY NEW YEAR, YALL. http://www.townsvillemagpie.com.au/to-end-the-year-a-mini-magpie-with-a-mini-mystery/
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