#new pc has me lacking some stuff

[verdemoth]

And the last of my Flondon PCs, making her tumblr debut, my guy Dr. Narramore! Lucy to his friends. He's a freak and he sucks <3 she exists because I did want to experience the Seeking storyline but I'd never put Mel or Knoll through all that. So, Ulysses is designed to be locked in the torment nexus and experience the horrors and she can only get worse from here! But actually I'm yet to get to any of the Seeking stuff since I haven't been super focused on building up his account yet.

He's also an excuse to explore the Great Game content, and that gives me some direction to take his character. Speaking of characters, Darling Lark (mentioned on this sheet) belongs to my friend @skies-seas ! Also a character belonging to Sky is the one and only person in the world who Ulysses considers indispensable: childhood friend and mad scientist Rajendra Narod, also a Seeking PC who Sky made so we can do our favourite activity of making Fucked Up Guys together <3 <3 <3

Also yeah Horticulture Hell! I was brainstorming what my Seeking character should be like for months in advance, and I had the idea that instead of going through New-Newgate he'd start off in a different Menace location (fucking dying lol). Then Horticulture Hell happened and the idea of being new to the Neath while all that was going on was so funny to me, so that's when I made the account :]

i have some more notes on his character than I can share, but I'll do so in a reblog probably so this isn't TOO long. Transcripts to follow under the readmore

Text Transcripts:

In the top left are some quick details. Lucy's full name and title is Doctor Ulysses B. Narramore. In the style of other Fallen London characters, Lucy's epithet is 'the Mercurial Pawn'. Lucy uses both she/her and he/him pronouns interchangeably, he's 31 years old and 5 feet 8 inches tall. She resides in a handsome townhouse around Ladybones Road. Her profession is as a physician but she's also a spy in the making, and the faction she's closest to is The Great Game.

Next to these are some notable player attributes. Of the main attributes, Lucy has high Persuasive and Dangerous, but low Watchful. Of the quirks, she has high Ruthless, Heartless, Forceful, and Subtle, but low Magnanimous and Steadfast. He also has another notable quality: that he's Seeking the Name.

In the top right is this note: "Ulysses wasn't (knowingly) a Player in the Great Game before arriving in the Neath. He was inducted by a woman named Darling Lark, operator of a local speakeasy and go-between for spy and criminal activities."

Paired with the art of Lucy covered in blood are these notes: "Though lacking in training, discipline, and real practical experience, Lucy is a formidably aggressive foe. He doesn't fight gracefully and he doesn't fight fair. She won't shy away from blood, and isn't above kicking someone who's already down. ...He might be a bit too into bloodshed. The cane is also for stability, Ulysses has been having weak spells with a bit of a fall risk. But mostly it's a convenient, socially acceptable way to have a good bludgeoning weapon on hand."

With the last illustration of Lucy climbing from a well are these notes: "It is the case that many new residents of London come by way of New-Newgate, but Lucy's arrival was rather more dramatic. Amidst what is occasionally, by some individuals, still referred to as the London Horticultural Show, he found himself tumbling into the Neath through a weak bit of roof. She died, of course, and was in for quite the shock when she'd recovered."

End of text transcripts.

[rollingforchoices]

The implication brought by Ify’s choice to have Vic speak is something I really have been mulling over. And the thoughts @spiralsublime brought on how Paula may change Jack Manhatten really touches on one of the main things I’ve been thinking of.

The characters and the pcs are all on this journey together. Just like the pcs will change from this experience, it makes sense that so would the characters, I really hope they touch on that.

Being the driving force is something they all have in common.

They go out and do stuff, create an empire, stop a terrorist attack, hack into an enemy’s system, you name, rather than quiet support, giving advice, or standing on the sidelines.

But now, these incredibly proactive people, are forced to be in the passenger seat for this journey.

They have to watch someone with a wildly different personality, skillset, and experiences inhabit their space and life, making different choices and approaching the issues and details of their life with brand-new eyes and perspective.

They have to watch this perspective play out.

Vic looking out for the scared, confused teen he saw, whose tossed into the wild life of Vic with no experience, and being unable to take the driver’s seat himself, has to instead be a guide.

G13, a guy whose been said to be “angry as hell”, has to watch over the oldest lady ever, going through his high-speed, high-stress life, tackling issues entirely different (and at times, entirely wrong), who requires patience and calm ("yelling...").

Watching someone inept at technology handle an important issue, while you know how to do it, can be infuriating but watching over this with pride instead of anger. (And also, she keeps insulting him. That’s not the point but I love that choice from Rekha)

Kingskin is going to watch this perfect-height teen girl stumble her way through his tasks. This ruthless guy whose inspired such deep fear in his men, watching a much kinder teen possibly bonding with one of these men, forming bonds of trust with a group.

And, if my reading of Liv isn’t totally off, the dynamic of watching a teen who is this valedictorian that got into Stanford and is seen as someone who can “escape this town”, who might feel a lack of control in her own life, trying to reclaim some power through shoplifting, suddenly in a position of complete power and control.

How it must be to watch Ms. Liv “I guess I feel fantastic” Skyler, Navigating through having actual agency and control in her life for the first time, as someone who’s always been very authoritative as Kingskin.

Maybe even someone as morally bankrupt as Kingskin can end up guiding Liv, in taking reigns of her own life.

Okay, this is already way too long (Alex’s characters always make me have so many thoughts lol), and I didn’t even go into the others, like Dang and Russel have so much going on there, just know that I am going to think obsessively about all of this.

[zeondraws]

Notes, to remember

- I need to flesh out the environment from Nightfall AU that the crewmembers walk around in before establishing something in drawings. Might as well continue writing more until I can start drawing more.

- I have big urges (the urges are very big) to focus on the analysis vid, maybe I can insert fandom inside jokes. I need to wait for artbook thooo

- Make a video about External Resources Unused files and DLG Temp files

- Remember to make a timeline for the lore, by using the clocks ingame. And research when the sun goes down in this region irl

- Make fmodel tutorial thingy, or do I make a video so I can practice speaking more.

- Work on paintings, but go back to comfort zone if it's too scary for me. And then try again when I have energy

- Work on mod in January? Or will the Unused soundfiles use up my time. This ties together with figuring out UE5, I also need to give realistic Roper his ingame clothes. Once he is perfect I can try to recreate the other characters. Do I need to bake Roper's model? Or how do I get his EXACT ingame model? How do I recreate the steps.

Realistic Roper is too small when imported into Blender, multiple versions of his model appear and skeletal mesh is not where it is supposed to be. This is prolly because I am a newbie in this stuff

- The metahumans all lack 12 bones in their skeletal mesh in blender. I can't import their animations. Remember to ask friend who knows blender, otherwise find some way to fix

- Put umodel and that other program on my pc, I have both on laptop but then often forget about it. Other program helps me directly search for any file, is why I found out about CazYeet filename. I forgor name of program but I'll remember when I check again.

- People in the MW community are able to pose character inside the environments. Why is SWTD difficult to recreate this. Other UE games work better? Or maybe people just have more knowledge than me.

- How to I give Caz his head back

- Please remember to play game in all 3 versions because the toilet room you enter from crew lounge has a slight change in 1.4. One of the Toilet stall walls is GONE. It was there in 1.3, someone from the TCR team did this tiny change, what do I do with this information.

- Scooby noted the food (peas) textures in canteen changed, I need to check when I have the energy. Which means there must be a lot of tiny changes in ver 1.4

I usually can't sleep well when it's my birthday, takes a few hours to get tired, so I figured I'll write down some "To-Dos" It's quite overwhelming how much it is.. I have a full time job so it's always like, how much of my free time can I use before I usually end up too tired on one day. (My new job is also very fun so I am like, oooohh, so excited about job and hobby but I only have so much energy)

I think I'll go to the cinema today, hhmmm

Okay I am finally tired enough, I'm listening someone in a monotone voice talk about spongebob lore for 2h.

[projectjasper]

for the game - phum 🤲

you said i should do all of them, which is insane, but also thank you weeeee ✨🫶

i'm gonna put the headcanons under the cut though, y'all can send asks with other characters (& emojis) from here

🏳️‍🌈 a sexuality headcanon

i personally definitely headcanon him as gay.

🏳️‍⚧️ a gender headcanon

a good ol' cis boy.

😇 a headcanon about their religion/lack thereof

hmmm... i'd imagine he's probably not religious, because he was shipped off from thailand at a really early age, and no one was socialising him and really involving him in the culture oversees either, so religion probably just kind of naturally passed him by. at this stage, i also can't imagine when he would discover it later in life on his own either.

🧸 a headcanon about their childhood

well 💀 horrors beyond our comprehension, basically. tbh, we know quite a bit about it, but just to solidify, i think 1) his parents and oldest brother genuinely never called to talk to him; 2) fang did call almost every day, but it got to this slightly weird juxtaposition of like "oh, you're calling me, but then if i start complaining about the horrific situation i'm in, you shut me down", so it wasn't Great, 3) the distant relatives he lived with did not care about him at all, it was truly unimaginable levels of neglect; 4) he had zero friends and the "i cried every day" thing was not an exaggeration.

👻 a headcanon about what scares them

well, we know about heights. for some reason, i also think darkness. that's if we're talking specifically classic fears. if we're talking more psychological - definitely fear of rejection and abandonment.

👽 a headcanon about a weird quirk of theirs

i do not think he sleeps with his plushies, that's not really their function. they are a comfort item during the day and also just a special interest on their own, as a collection.

💤 a headcanon about their sleep

i actually think he has a really hard time falling asleep, specifically because he isn't used to feeling safe, and that's also why he wakes up at the smallest sound.

🦾 a disability headcanon

autism in the biggest boldest letters.

💝 a headcanon about their love language

i'm gonna be honest, it's all of them equally. he is very acts of service, he starts driving peem around everywhere almost right away, he exchanges food with both peem and fang, so they wouldn't eat what they don't like. crossing over into gift-giving as well, he bought peem a bunch of seafood even though he doesn't eat it because they were at sea and peem would have wanted to eat it, he buys peem stuff all the time tbh, he pays for toey as well. quality time is also up there - he follows peem around everywhere and doesn't mind just sitting there in silence while peem works on his art. physical touch, of course, he can't stop touching and kissing peem. finally, words of affirmation, he is really good at compliments and just talking about how much he loves spending time with his friends etc. like i always say, his heart is the size of a skyscraper, and he has so much love to give.

🫂 a friendship headcanon

he still has a really hard time making friends and i think it will take him a long time to actually start hanging out with his new friends from peem's friend group separately and not when everyone is invited.

💔 an angsty headcanon

his self-worth is incredibly shakey, it's truly like a game of tumble tower, when you can see that it's gonna fall on the next player's turn. and i think that, though it will get better, especially if the family thing is resolved correctly, it will genuinely take decades to deal with it fully.

🪢 a headcanon about their family

his parents are gonna get hit by a bus that will be driven by someone who looks suspiciously like me :)

📓 a headcanon about their hobbies

i think he definitely has a hobby that involves a lot of reality-escaping. probably not video games, because i can't remember seeing a good pc/console at his apartment. i am leaning more towards books and/or movies/series, something like that.

👗 a headcanon about their clothes

he does not really care about fashion rip 😔

🔪 a headcanon relating to fighting/violence

unlike fang, i actually don't think he was ever that big into it. he ended up in a couple of fights anyway, because of fang, but he himself is very 👉👈

🌟 a headcanon about their desires/wishes

i think he wants kids, but is afraid he is going to make a terrible father, because he hasn't really had any good examples of parenting throughout his childhood.

🥇 a headcanon about what they’re best at

perhaps a slightly weird answer to a question that's probably leaning more towards skills and achievements, but i'm gonna say taking care of people. he is very attentive and loving, he is genuinely just incredibly good at the small gestures and remembering things about other people and giving the right gifts and saying the right thing at the right time, etc. etc.

🍫 a headcanon about food

he eats a very limited amount of food, which is also why fang can only cook spaghetti - he learned to cook it specifically for phum, and phum just kept asking for the same thing every day. i wouldn't be surprised, if he isn't actually allergic to seafood as well, but just says that, because it's easier than explaining that he eats exactly seven foods and nothing else.

🎭 a headcanon about what they lie about

his exact feelings about his parents. i think he's been shamed a lot for feeling the way he does towards them, so he keeps making things up and skirting around the conversation, so he wouldn't have to directly say "i do not want to see them anymore".

❤️‍🔥 a romantic headcanon

he is extremely romantic in my opinion. i think he believes in soulmateism and true love and the whole shebang. i think he watches lots of romcoms and has probably seen every mlm storyline in existence, dreaming of his own gay little relationship. he has all the proper romantic gestures down to a fine art too, obviously.

💄 an appearance headcanon

yes, he did dye his hair that shade of brown to look more like a teddy bear. slash srs

🖕 a headcanon relating to anger

anger is his mortal enemy. he has a lot of it pent up inside (understandably so), but he thinks it's a very ugly feeling he is "not supposed to feel", so he suppresses it. whenever he feels angry, he just kind of goes inside his shell and leaves the situation.

😺 an animal related headcanon

he is a cat person (hence, peem).

😬 a headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done

straight up the agreement he made with peem at the beginning.

😭 a headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them

being abandoned by his parents at five years old.

😶 a random headcanon!

he isn't as close to toey as he'd like to be, because he is 1) autistic and 2) not particularly well-socialised, so he has a hard time really understanding what social rules to follow for their particular relationship. in his head, he definitely considers toey his younger brother and would absolutely just spoil him rotten and hang out with him a lot, but not a lot of that gets actualised in reality, because he's a little afraid of making any sudden big moves or actively saying that he feels about toey the same way fang feels about him.

[xandezsims]

Sims 4 Castle Estate Kit: An Honest Review

Xan here. I do a fair amount of historical builds, fortresses and castles included—but having to hand-draw parapets as half-walls, the lack of appropriate windows, and the mismatched wall textures regularly drive me up the wall. So when I heard they were releasing the castle kit, I was hype. But, then it came out, and the collective response online seemed to be an overwhelming ‘meh’. Still, I’m committed now, so I bought it to check it out.

And I sort of agree? But I also…don’t. Stay with me, I’ll explain.

First of all, here’s what you get with the kit: 25 items: 1 wallpaper, 1 floor, a foundation, 2 fences, stairs, railing, pillars, 2 wall trims, spandrel, and 2 wall decors, plus windows and doors.

…I have a few observations.

Let’s start with the worst bits:

The Bad:

The swatches are…underwhelming. There are seven, five with variations. The white and black are standalone. The tan (left) and cream (right) are almost identical in some lighting. There’s also one tan swatch with greenery on it, not seen elsewhere. (It has flowers. Why would there be flowers on a castle wall? Maybe that’s just me.) Rest assured, it matches nothing else in the game but the floor that came with it. The brown is…very brown—but there’s a good thing about it, I’ll get there.

So. The spandrels. They look okay up-close, if a little jagged sometimes. But the jaggedness blooms like mold when you zoom out. (At least on my PC.) Probably not using these.

We did get a new foundation, though it doesn’t quite seem to match the walls, due to the light border. Unfortunately, as usual, we did not get a new platform to match it. It’s like EA forgot that feature…

Nitpick with the wall emblem we got: the “clean” swatches are the knight helmet, and the “dirty” ones are a goofy heraldry. No option to have clean heraldry or dirty knight helmet. Also, note that the black and white come with dirty swatches, but we didn’t get dirty walls.

And this is really petty, but these beautiful windows? These ones, here?

Only come with two—count ‘em, two—stained glass swatches, in either gray or tan. That’s all you get. So that black cathedral with stained glass windows you wanted? You’re out of luck. Not fond of the art either. It’s cute, but that means I won’t use it. (Sidenote: that tiny window is not 'an arrow slit', EA.)

That was a lot. Now let’s get to:

The Good:

The windows and doors themselves are amazing. Just look at them! They’re appropriately grand for a castle, and they included sizes for all wall-heights. The best ones are locked to the tallest wall, but for a reason. They’re enormous. Probably the biggest ones we got.

The crenelation fence is a Godsend. (No more drawing half-walls for hours!) It’s adaptive, meaning it changes where the bigger support is based on how long the fence is, where it’s bent, etc. And it looks phenomenal. The wall trims are ornamental as hell, but they are also very cool.

Fun bonus: despite the stereotype regarding EA swatches not matching, the stone textures do sort of match some of the walls we already have! (Shown: Get Together, Bowling Stuff, Fitness Stuff, Jungle Adventure, Cottage Living; Castle Estate walls at the bottom.) This means you can mix and match the new trims, parapets, pillars, windows, doors, all of it, to a degree. And it works pretty well!

Final Verdict: Is it Worth it?

So, when I first got it, I wasn’t super sold. Then, I ran a test on a build I was struggling with and…well, you saw the cover. Needless to say, for five dollars, that’s not bad.

If you’re a historical builder or just really want some grand objects to use, it’s worth the money. There are issues, and the low price tag doesn’t excuse that, but it doesn’t change the fact that the Kit itself is pretty good.

(Now all I need is for them to give us a privy. If you live in a castle, you shouldn’t have to pee in a bush.)

[felassan]

Some thoughts on the recent article on DA:D from Tom Henderson / Insider Gaming, under a cut due to potential spoilers for DA:D -

first, the usual set of disclaimers that accompany all leaks: might not be real, unable to verify at present, sometimes leakers think they're right about things but are unintentionally incorrect or got some wires crossed, games change a fair bit between development phases and final release, take with grain of salt etc

Tom Henderson is the one that leaked the game's title, 'Dreadwolf', ahead of time, along with Jeff Grubb.

all the stuff about the possible/speculated release window doesn't feel like new information really? for a while now rumors and guesses etc have been saying like 'late 2023 or 2024', sorta thing

The game still lacking features and completed character lines etc doesn't sound odd or surprising either. DA:D is currently playable from beginning to end, but not finished, as BioWare said themselves in the milestone announcement blog post a few months ago. iirc, at that stage in development there can still be placeholder assets, stuff without textures yet, 'robot-voiced' or still-silent lines, placeholder text and textures, etc.

I wonder who the sources are? playtesters? going by yesterday's Reddit leaks (DA:D spoilers at link), that wouldn't be outside the realms of possibility. I also wonder how familiar with the franchise said sources are. some bits of or language in the article make it sound like either they and/or the writer aren't super familiar.

There are 'central hubs' in previous DA and ME games, which were of course singleplayer: Party Camp, Skyhold, the Normandy etc. the PC goes to those locations between story missions and between side quests to regroup, talk to companions etc before heading out again. I'm curious what form the hub/base in DA:D will take - a camp, home, fort/castle, ship, secret base, a pocket somewhere 'in-between' worlds etc?

Recruiting and growing companions, completing missions, companions being found in the hub (or their own mini-hubs as in DAII), giving them equipment/modifications & so on - all things found to some extent in previous games. I guess it does confirm these features will return in DA:D.

Re: combat and FF15, emphasis on "the game's combat wheel" as being what's similar

also not really surprised by the description of the combat. DA changes significantly game to game and the rough trajectory since DA:O has been away from the tactics style of game towards more of an action-y RPG. it also lines up with the feel of the little snippet of combat we saw in a trailer (remember the footage of the character in Grey Warden armor doing Shield Wall?) and some comments that cropped up on ResetEra from possible playtesters in October 2022 (they mentioned God of War 2018 as a comparison point for example).

Re: controlling party members, it says "currently". that said, the playtester who was the source of the leaked screenshots and gif on Reddit also reported that they could not control the party. iirc this was also among the comments on ResetEra. this will vary from person to person, but personally for me I'm not bothered by the premise of being mostly unable to control squadmates. it's kinda like that in ME and ME:A and that was fine (for me I mean).

I'm curious about what other details they were provided with, and will be keeping an eye out for future reports. seems like quite a few leaks have been going on lately.

sometimes companies 'leak' stuff on purpose or want certain stuff to leak, in order to gather feedback, see peoples' reactions to it, as a marketing tactic etc. Mark Darrah said that wrt quantitative focus testing at least, there's a high chance of leaks and they know it. on his game development YouTube channel, on this he advised "Be careful that anything you put in there has a high probability of leaking, but that's potentially an opportunity. If you have information that you kind of want to be leaked out into the greater sphere of the internet, including it in a quant test, knowing that in all likelihood it's going to leak, might be a way to test the waters. It gives you plausible deniability if it does end up leaking. A good example of a leak like this was the concept picture of Dorian for Dragon Age: Inquisition. The concept piece includes a monkey. We never really had any intention of having a monkey for Dorian, but it was just what was drawn in the concept piece. And so we got to watch the internet react to this character, with a monkey, on the internet." I'm sure I've read or heard somewhere that the Dragon Age: Inquisition character concept feedback survey was leaked intentionally and that the devs kind of wanted the Crestwood demo to leak (and were surprised when it didn't result in many videos online).

"It’s understood that you’ll be able to move from your hub to missions by passing through a mirrored portal." - this is the most interesting snippet in this article to me. the obvious question is, eluvians? In Trespasser, Solas tells us he controls the eluvian network now, after over-riding the magic personally. So: have we gained control of part of the network (Briala controlled part of it for a time)? taken control of it or part of it from Solas? is there more than one network? have we built some eluvians of our own? In Trespasser banter Dorian was wondering about building eluvians of our own. there are some folks with eluvian knowledge kicking around like Merrill and Morrigan, and there are glassworks of note in Serault..

moving from a hub to missions through eluvians was exactly what we did in Trespasser from the Winter Palace, and it worked really well. Trespasser's setup was really enjoyable. it was a fun mechanic that helped explain fast travel and apparent teleportation. it also allowed for travelling to places all over, from the Deep Roads to ancient elven ruins to places in-between the waking world and the Fade - a variety of handcrafted places to explore still but with a tighter storyline threading through them, as opposed to open-world that felt like it was probably mandatory to include during development because of other games on the market like Skyrim and AC, but which then struggled to be filled with meaningful content to fill the space and in which that struggle was apparent. I'd be down for that. I'm just daydreaming and speculating wildly now for real (bc it's fun) but we could travel all over Thedas that way. We did that in DAI I know but you know what I mean? also what if the hub is in a pocket dimension, reachable only via eluvian? eluvian secret base..

[iwitch-plus]

Heya :) it's been a while!

Hi, my name is Dolly (she/her) and I've had this blog for quite some time! In the past I've done things like open up free readings, or create discord servers as a way to feel a sense of community, but this time around I think I'm okay with just being here instead of seeking attention and validation. A new era of this blog marks my first steps toward ACTUAL self-discovery and growth.

This was initially a side blog but now it's the main one I use. But since it's technically a side blog, if you see any likes/follows from @ibitch-plus that's me lol!

I just thought I'd make a pinned post sharing a little about myself, and I'll try to keep it brief but I'm bad at that.

The direction this blog is going to be going is ideally going to be personal, intimate, focused on my own growth as a person, and focused on my growth in my practice. I plan on being vulnerable and fairly open but not to the point where it's a burden on followers. I just want this to become a safe space for myself and others to share if they have been feeling like they're lacking in personal growth/their practice. You're not alone! And you're welcome to follow me and join me on my journey to help inspire your own journey!

I'm 23, I'm a Virgo sun, Gemini moon, Gemini rising, and I have an air dominant chart with a Gemini stellium!

I started researching and learning about Witchcraft in 2014/2015, so I guess I’ve been practicing on and off for 8-ish years. Still feel like a baby witch though, and ready to keep learning.

While I do love witchy aesthetics, my witchy blog has always been more dedicated to research, resources, and text posts along with my own personal photos, anecdotes, spells, and journey.

My witchy interests include:

Tarot

Herbalism

Botany

Kitchen Witchery

Astrology

The Moon

Sigils

Glamour Magic

Low effort Witchcraft

Natural products (making my own salves, tinctures, balms, etc!)

Aphrodite

All Greek pantheon, honestly

Spirits/Entities/Demons/Deities of all kinds

Crystals

Pendulums, and most other forms of divination

Mixology

Probably so many more but I can't think of any more specific ones!

My non witchy interests include:

Video games! Mostly Nintendo Switch gaming and cozy games but I play a lot of stuff on PC and some on other consoles, too!

Cartoons! Kids cartoons, adult cartoons, anime. I just like it better when it doesn't have real people in it. I love Adventure Time, Gravity Falls, recently been into Bob's Burgers, I'm just a big cartoon fan!

Cats! I have 2 boy kitties, a little black one and a big ol' orange dude. They're my favorite, and I love pretty much all cats in general.

Piercings and tattoos! I work in a tattoo shop, currently working on my piercing apprenticeship!

Mixology! Again, lol! I find the art of making and creating cocktails to be very witchy, but also just super fun in non-witchy ways.

Fashion! I love clothes and shoes, and I can never stick to one aesthetic

Pool! Like, as in billiards! Super random but it's fun and I've gotten a lot better over the past couple years!

Pretty much any hobby ever! Soap making, candle making, baking, embroidery, hand sewing, cosmetic making, jewelry making, singing, makeup, playing instruments, I just love to do it all.

Okay that's enough about me, like I said I'm bad at keeping it brief but there ya go! Can't wait to get back into the community. <3

[theghostwithin5591]

Rutger Hauer Talks About Batman Begins

March 30th 2004

Rutger Hauer who is in London working on Batman Begins has an interesting daily post about his work in this film. Read on, here is what he says. I am staying in the London hotel that I really like. Apartment hotel. Service is great. They know our biz. Some of you may recall my bathtub adventures. The living room is like a home. This time I have one at street level and it's almost like as if I lived here. Classy decorations and furniture. The cables, connections & plugs have been sorted out. Stuff's organized. I spent days to clean up the pc as well. Later at night I get company. Walt D would have enjoyed. Along the edge of the carpet is a mouse who's checking out the new tenant. After having taken a good look Minnie/Mickey does a quick 180° and disappears. I'm wondering what pissed her/him off but over the next three days I get other encounters. Just like this. Show up, look, think and gone. Maybe he's on his way to the kitchen. But that's one lower floor. All week the hours were spent in the excited "acting the part" fashion last few days. The cameo has a good solid structure but lacks character and I was able to drift to a horizon I saw in the back of my head because the director pushed me to explore and go there. Which is always exciting & scary. Exciting because you are allowed to go there and scary because your are not that secure. I found the "key" to my position/part at the end of the second day. That is so great as well. It's one of the things I enjoy with vigour. "The key" is all you need, after that it is about balance and refinement. Big, sensational grand sets. Moody, art deco, impressive. Art department worked miracles for the great visual richness. Had some smirkyness going with Christian Bale. We have one big problem that occurs. Noise. It interferes. It seems to be coming from a natural cause and I'm not talking about rain/hail/or broken limbs. We are inside. On the studio sound stage in Shepperton. It's a beautiful day outside. About to become spring here. That's what it is. We'd try shooting with the noise but the sound department has problems. It's too loud. Seems to come from high up somewhere. Stage-hands climb up to the ceiling, between cables, lights and set-pieces. I turns out that way above us, under the same roof, pigeons are having a little foreplay. This can stretch into days as thousands of dollars keep "flying" away. One of the boys figures that a blast of the loud heaters may bring a momentary halt in "lovers lane". At least long enough to get a few takes! We try and finally we get what we need in the can. The pigeons may have heard the producers prayers. When I go to bed, exhausted, that night and have shut off the lights there is a new noise in the room. How to describe it. Not like the pigeons. More like champagne corks in a boxing match. X rated. I figure it out. It's almost spring. Minnie and Mickey have decided that my bedroom is the best place to make more mice. I won't tell anyone. Not. Now I have a few weeks off....

[spidine]

Brighter Shores: Early Thoughts

I've put about 10 hours into brighter shores now. I've gotten far enough into the second area that i've unlocked a faction (hammermage) and with the amount of time I have currently available to me I don't expect to put much more than casual dabbles into it but I think I get the idea of what it's overall image would be.

Brighter Shores is definitely in the same family as runescape but i think it uses those mechanics to make something that feels more like a late web 2.0 mmorpg than a graphicMUD. The way screens work is reminiscent of maplestory or aqworlds, but the activities you do are more reminiscent of runescape. So let me just get some thoughts out of the way by answering some basic questions:

Is it worth playing?

For the most part, I think so! The writing is well enough and the gameplay is very chill. The membership is also a very fair $5 so it's not a big monetary investment.

How does it compare to runescape?

It is even more of an idle game than runescape. It might not seem so at first glance with all the clicking but once you get into the game it becomes clear a lot of the skilling systems are grinds are grinding's sake and there even activity your character can do while you're logged out. The fact all your health comes back between fights and the lack of inventory management/prayers leads me to believe this game will never have stuff like raids or pvp, this game is very much a mobile mmo (even if it's only on pc right now). Shifting my perspective on this game from a runescape successsor to a runescape inspired mmo experience for touch screens really improved my view of it. I think your mom would probably love Brighter Shores, I can very clearly see her tapping away at it on her ipad at work.

Brighter shores seeks to emulate early game runescape/early mmo chill vibes exclusively and i think it has a lot of value in that.

What's up with the episodic combat skills???!

It's just a different way of displaying the progression you always have to do in mmo's. It's a way of letting you do zones adjacently in a way where they'll both be compelling. Is regearing for a new area a bit tedious? a little. But really it doesn't feel any different from going to a new zone/expansion in an mmo and needing to gear up/fight basic ass dudes again for a bit.

It's clear Andrew Gower likes low level mmo play more than max level play and built this system to prolong that state of play. I think any ludonarrative dissonance it causes is totally excusable for the amount of gameplay it provides.

I mean, we play these games because deep down we enjoy the grind, why not present a system that makes it easier to expand on that?

What's actually bad about it?

The tight corridor maps are sort of a slog to move through. Catching enemy aggro and needing to escape feels weird, like not a bad idea really but the way it physically feels is like... ugly. Needing two clicks to do everything is.... annoying.

The game world doesn't really breath either. While i don't mind the episode specific skills there's just a feeling of disconnect between everything. It feels like a modern mmo in that way.

What's good about it?

I love the look of it. the diorama look of the world is very pleasing. even if the gear/enemies so far don't look that interesting moving around scenes and seeing the town has a pleasing feel.

What would I change?

I don't think I'd change anything. This is clearly fitting the vision of a small team and i think the way's it's wonky/different will help it stand out and fit in better with older audiences who like slower games.

But having a one click to attack/fish/forage/etc would be highly appreciated.

Will I keep playing it?

probably nooooot? I just love the big, interconnected feel of runescape's world. I think if this came to mobile i could see it being something i poke at in my downtime at work but it's not really an immersive experience, it's an experience for people who love to watch number go up. If that's the only reason you played runescape this might be for you!

[cloudy-moth]

This episode was SOOO fucking good genuinely felt lightheaded because Oh My God but also i feel like we're missing a couple of stuff from this group??

First of all the so far lack of new outfits for them!! I was so excited i always love new official art and there kinda was just nothing here

Related to new art, there definetely was something up with bor'dor's appearence that utkarsh mentioned, but cr has this thing that they only show official art of the pc once they present their actual name which is also something i think we possibly missed, in general i think there was a couple of stuff we missed with this guy.

It definetely felt to me that we would be going to the hishari village (cant remember the actual name), obviously when you start talking about a place that is: a. Considered haunted and b. Very much tied to the backstory of a character, that has GOT to be some sort of setup for something right?? Right????

OK AND LAST THING

The timeline literally just doesnt match up. At this point by the end of episode 63 we would be in the early morning of Fessuran the 26th, yet according to matt's comment and prism's scrying we are considered to be in the early morning of Quen'pillar the 3rd. 5 whole days of difference!! (which could've been perfectly used for a little excursion to the hishari village but thats besides the point)

These are all little nitpicks that i'm sure were most likely caused by some out of game scheduling which is totally fine and acceptable (which it still would be if this wasn't the reason) but man. MAN. I just feel like we really did got the short end of the stick with this side of the group which is a shame since it felt a LOT more driven and interesting than the other.

Obviously still enjoyed the time we had with both of the groups and i am very very much looking forward to however this seperation arc concludes regardless of however that may look like

[squarebracket-trickster]

Writer Q&A Tag Game

Thank you @sunset-a-story for ALSO tagging me way back in August. I AM SO SORRY

1. What motivates you to write?

It itchy, itchy urge to create something. I NEED it OUT. I MUST make sense of it ALL. The thoughts need ordering and putting together to maximize the happy chemicals. I see something I like that someone else made and I get jealous so I must do something like that, but MY way, and BETTER. It all makes me very itchy (restless).

2. A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

I skimmed my entire 3rd draft (so far) to pick a line. There are a lot of good ones but none I liked more than the rest - I couldn't choose. So... I know I've already shared this one but dammit. It is a kickass line. It's also the first line of WIPVII - and you do not know what devils I sold my soul to to escape THAT writer's block.

I will live, I tell myself through the salt water in my eyes and the sting of the south wind on my face. This will make for a good story one day.

5. What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Banter and wit. Which is funny because I always thought that was the thing I would struggle most with - I was the academic overachiever who took herself too seriously in school. But when I reread my drafts there is something that makes me laugh in nearly every scene. Most of my highlighted lines are banter or retorts.

6. What do you enjoy most about the Writeblr community?

I love seeing writeblr content on my dash and I looooove getting interactions when I liveblog my writing. It is so nice to be able to share this with people who love it too (rather than inflicting it on my poor irl friends who are not writers). I just love all you Writeblr friends so much!

7. A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

A 2x3.5' and a 3x5.5' whiteboard with a rainbow's worth of whiteboard markers in different thicknesses for brainstorming, family trees, timelines. My sketchbook, a mechanical pencil, and YouTube drawing tutorials for my maps and concept art. MS Word, dark mode, Times New Roman pt 11, with comments enabled for my manuscripts, outlines (bullet points), and worldbuilding notes. Subfolders within subfolders stored on my PC to organize all my Word docs. Two separate USBs which my completed manuscripts are saved to (in case something happens to my computer AND one of the USBs).

I have yet to find any worldbuilding or map making software (and it hasn't been for lack of looking) that gives me enough flexibility. I have yet to find any writing software that has features Word doesn't but that would actually help my process rather than overwhelm me.

I do want to write out a draft of WIPVII by hand at some point (though with my penchant for writing hand cramps this might be doomed). I also want to try an electric typewriter.

8. A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

WIPVII doesn't have very complex worldbuilding (there is no magic and most of it is ripped from real world history) but I do always love it when authors tell us what way the wind is coming, what smells it carries, what the view is in the distance, whose lands those are... that kind of stuff. Really creates a sense of place. I spent a lot of time mapping all this out in my own novel and I am very happy with it! The description feels so rich!

9. What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Learn more about the craft. Writing is problem solving. If you aren't happy with something figure out why - the mechanics and technique behind writing. If you're still stuck learn even more. There are so many great, free resources on tumblr, youtube, blogs, pinterest (though it is most stolen from tumblr) even twitter and tiktok.

Also, learn how to filter out what advice is helpful now versus what should wait for later so you don't get overwhelmed. If you haven't even written a first draft yet don't bother with pacing, exposition, line editing, or let alone how to query. Just focus on the macro-stuff like plot and character arcs.

Tagging with the lightest brush on the shoulder these nine alleged humans: @cheeto-flavoured-pasta, @alnaperera, @bluberimufim, @daisywords, @boundedsea, @full-on-sam, @writernopal, @ashen-crest, @surroundedbypearls

[bro3256]

Predictions for Nintendo Switch Online

I think it goes without saying that the Nintendo Switch Online (or NSO) service has been controversial to say the least. The fact that we now have to pay for what used to be free online and the lack of benefits you get to subscribing has led to this service being received very poorly at least at launch. It's been about 5 years since NSO launched and a lot of that controversy has seemingly dried up either by new additions to the game library or simply the fact that we're just used to it at this point.

Now don't get me wrong there are still detractors to NSO, but it seems as if this service has been accepted for what it is despite its flaws, although I do have to agree with some of the things said by folks regarding how the service launched and how it currently is.

Now that we've gotten that out of the way, I want to lay down some predictions regarding the future of this service as I've seen some wild things being proposed by fans that sound completely unrealistic and nothing Nintendo would ever regularly do. Starting with the obvious, what future platforms will Nintendo add to the game library?

First things first, GameCube is not going to happen at least for a long time. I suspect Nintendo may add it once the Switch's successor is out but at this very moment it is laughable to consider GameCube right now. The biggest main issue is the fact that Nintendo themselves has been rereleasing GameCube games as full price Switch games. Metroid Prime Remastered and Paper Mario: The Thousand Year Door come to mind. I know for the most part the whole "things releasing outside of NSO means it will never come to NSO" myth has more or less died at this point but GameCube tends to be a special case here since these games still feel modern enough to resell as new games.

Another thing is to completely throw out any consideration of any mainline Pokémon games appearing on the Game Boy apps. The spinoffs sure, but actual mainline games is a bit silly. If they were somehow to be added they would need to do a lot of backend stuff to get these games properly working and so players don't cheat with the regular tools NSO offers such as rewind and restore points. It's not impossible but I see this as too much work to be worth it if simply putting these out as digital eShop releases sounds much easier. Besides if every version was put out on NSO then you'd lose the magic of Pokémon just like that, and that wouldn't be fun would it?

Okay so what do I actually think NSO is gonna add to its game library? Well unless Nintendo puts out a Virtual Boy or a Game & Watch app then I suspect we will probably see more third party apps. One consideration I don't see a ton of people talking about is the PC-Engine and TurboGrafx-16.

Games from these consoles have appeared on Virtual Console in the past on Wii and Wii U and a very limited number of PC-Engine games did release on 3DS only in Japan. I wouldn't doubt that Nintendo would add this as apart of their Expansion Pack, heck maybe even regular NSO if we're lucky. I would just love to see more NEC love (or well Konami love now).

But why stop there when the Mark III and Master System could be added too? Sega is already on board with NSO with their Mega Drive and Genesis apps so this would be a great addition especially since these games have not been given enough love even by Sega. SG-1000 would also be cool but that might be a bit too niche for a service like NSO but who knows.

As for games, while there is quite a bit already on the service there are certainly omissions that are quite baffling so let's get some of the more obvious ones out of the way and in no particular order.

Gomoku Narabe Renju, Mahjong, Golf, Urban Champion, SimCity, Mario Paint, Super Smash Bros., Ridge Racer 64, Banjo-Tooie, Super Mario Land, Qix, X, Balloon Kid, Mole Mania, Super Mario Bros. Deluxe, Pokémon Pinball, Densetsu no Stafy 1-3, Mother 3, and Rhythm Tengoku just to name a few.

So lets start with one that might not be interesting at a glance but would be a great addition to the service.

Tetris for the NES (no, not the Tengen version) is one of the more iconic versions of this beloved puzzle game, but why go back to this version specifically? I mean we already have Tetris on the Game Boy app and plenty of other Tetris games on Switch so what's the deal here?

Well for one, this version has never seen any kind of rerelease... kind of. This version in terms of how it played was ported over to Tetris Effect: Connected as a side mode but unless you knew about it I'd imagine not a whole lot of folks have dabbled with it and it's still technically not the original game.

But secondly, the main reason why this mode even exists and also why I personally would like to see it on NSO is purely to make the game accessible to a wider audience considering the competitive scene of this specific classic version of Tetris.

Being able to play this on NSO would mean a ton more people get to experience how this version plays and more importantly gives players another option of playing this without resorting to unofficial PC emulation. Obviously pro players are going to stick to original hardware but if you just wanted to practice or wanted a taste of this version then it's no wonder that having it on Switch would be a dream. Hopefully with the Game Boy version already being on the service this will increase the chances of this one happening.

So this next one is already planned to release for NSO in Japan but there's no word on it releasing internationally but regardless...

...Kaeru no tame ni Kane wa Naru or as its unofficially known as The Frog For Whom the Bell Tolls. It's an action RPG that's often compared to Link's Awakening to the point where in said Zelda game there's a cameo appearance featuring Prince Richard from Bell Tolls. This is one of the more well known Nintendo developed games that never left Japan and as of writing has never seen an official English localization of any kind and unfortunately there seems to be a trend with international NSO releases having Japanese games that have not been translated. So the likelihood of this not only releasing outside of Japan but getting a new localization for NSO is very unlikely but it's more than possible given Nintendo puts in the work to translating this in English. I'd imagine a remake of this game being far more likely to getting an international release if that were to happen and hey if it's in the style of the Link's Awakening remake that would be pretty cool.

So let's move away to one that might actually happen.

This one's pretty straight forward and don't be scared by this being Japan exclusive as outside of some story cutscenes this one's perfectly playable as its mainly a puzzle game. It has seen rereleases in the past on Virtual Console and if it were to release on NSO it's very likely that it would release internationally since the benefit of Nintendo not putting in effort to localize these games means they can just drop this on the SNES app no problem. Also good time to mention that this also includes the original Wrecking Crew so it would be funny to see Wrecking Crew on the service twice.

So let's end this game prediction saga with one that probably will never happen but if it were to happen I'd be curious how it would be implemented.

So let's get this out of the way, this is an M rated game. For a while it was believed that Nintendo would shy away from more mature games from appearing on the service but GoldenEye 007 on N64 at least in Japan indicates that Nintendo's solution is purely to bump up the rating of the overall app. So I'd imagine if this were to drop on NSO we'd not only see a rating bump for the N64 app but hopefully some kind of parental control option to stop players under 17 from playing this one. While it would be cool to see this on NSO in terms of being able to play it on a Nintendo platform again, I purely would like to see this get added just to see what they'd do to the app in response to this M rated addition to the service.

And there are my NSO predictions as of November 2023. I do wonder when the next Nintendo platform releases if we'll see an uptick in support for the service but its likely that this slow trickle of games will continue as usual. I'd normally would wish for more platforms to be represented on NSO but the problem is that some of the ones already on the service are very lacking especially Game Boy and Game Boy Advance. Hopefully those libraries get beefed up soon.

[chaosmultiverse]

Mini Update

Moewdy, I'm making this just in case y'all were worried about me & to give you guys a update on my plans & progress on my blog remake!

So firstly just a life update, still homeless, still working on that, but slowly it feels like we're moving forward, just don't know to what yet. It is also my birthday soon! 27th of this month to be exact, I'll be turning 22 alongside my twin @playedbetter.

Now blog updates

I am still going to remake my blog, I think a fresh start would be good for me, my mental health & my writing ablity, when this happens I'll archive this blog & redirect you guys to my new blog/account which will be Chaosmultiverse at that point, right now it has a random name while I work on it.

With this remake I am resetting the majority of my plots & characters, I really want a fresh start & I want to be able to account for the Community Verse system I am gonna be using to make things simple for me from the get go, this does not apply to server Community Verses (DC GC for example) or my affiliate blogs, which is right now just @playedbetter.

(When it is closer to the remake launch I will make a call for those that either want to maintain plots & ships, or want to figure ones out from the get go)

As for progress here is where I am at in a few different regards.

I have found a way of using photoshop on my phone, so have beening icons, a dash icon, and things for headers and promo pics, I still have a lot to make before I have the amount I want but I have made the templates

(There will be a second stage later down the road when I have reliable access to a pc again where I will be remaking my icon templates & remaking/making new pics for the other things, I just want pics for in the meantime)

I have made some of the important OOC pages like a updated rules page & a about the mun, when it is closer to being relaunched I'll make sure these are still up to date.

I have also made a new muse page & a credits page, both are WIPs right now, the muse page isn't still 100% settled, with some muses added & removed from time to time (plus lack of icons) and the credits page isn't done either as it's actively being updated as I use stuff or get permission to use stuff.

I now mainly need to work on character bios, I have a few done and these can really very in how long they take to make, but I want it to be easy to find info about my muses so I am not skipping this step or doing it post blog opening

Besides from the bios the other big thing is important Headcanons & Info posts & pages, along with templates for the info pages, since I tend to be canon divergent or have world scale hc's it's important to me that I communicate them.

There are also some muses I want to do more research on, specifically some LOL muses and DC muses, in general I'm trying to make sure I have a good understanding of my muses.

I unfortunately don't have any time estimates, life is really unpredictable right now & that impacts how much time I can put into this blog, I will say it is safer to assume it will take longer than shorter, so a few months at least, in the meantime I am semi available on discord for talking, plotting & RP'ing with the understanding it may not fit into my blog.

[mitigatedchaos]

So I stopped by because someone privately linked someone (not prodigal) having a fit, which presented an opportunity to try making that last image.

[ @athingbynatureprodigal ] writes:

What’s sought is a criteria for “developed country” that wouldn’t include “Eritrea, but Putin and Elon Musk and the Waltons just bought vacation homes there.” Trains, healthcare, democracy, and lack of religious whackos killing people seems like at least as good a set as “well, it was on the US side during the cold war and has some rich people in it.” If you’re gonna call the former dumb, there needs to be more justification than “well I happen to use different criteria, which are equally arbitrary.” Both of those are vibes-based.

The question is, what is being "developed" in "development" of countries? In real estate, an "undeveloped" lot would be one that hasn't been built on yet, whether that's for a public park, which would be considered light development, or a house, or a factory. A "developing" lot would be a lot that's in an intermediate state of construction or addition. Then of course there is "brown field development," where previous construction has been built and is now getting in the way of new development.

So I would say that when we say a country is "developed," we're mostly talking about a country's capital front. (Mostly productive capital, but also housing, etc.) Safety, adherence to law, education, etc are all inputs to that front.

In accordance with the O-Ring theory of economic development, the average correctness of each node in a production chain increases the ability to create a highly-complex, high-value product. This requires a predictable environment etc etc.

@official-kircheis If we're looking at countries with tremendous capital fronts, the United States needs to be in the analysis, so if it's not "developed," well obviously it's also not "developing," so you need to describe the secret third thing that it is. (Obviously the United States is a diverse country, and it can be sliced in ways that make it more comparable to other "developed" countries in your sample.)

But this gets into why I've been on a social media hiatus. Or maybe "how."

During the past 2 weeks, I built a new PC, and I've been putting in a lot of hours into learning to use Stable Diffusion and probing the capabilities of these new AI art systems.

Reading social media gets me annoyed and distracted. And Kircheis' take was inflammatory and bad, but it's not nearly as bad as Twitter. (For one thing, it's obviously adjacent to nationalist shitposting. In fact, it most likely is nationalist shitposting.) However, there was a lot of information gain on social media before. Now that we're not in a fast cycle (like national riots or the opening of the pandemic), I've brawled with enough partisans to get a sense of how they think, and I got my hands on more obscure information, there isn't as much information gain there.

While I use Tumblr to report my findings, and 300-500 words is a comfortable length for explaining concepts while not taxing the attention too much, there are issues with taking things on an issue-by-issue basis (including in a reply format).

Often, if I talk about stuff, I won't do it. So I'll just say it's something to chew on for now.

[cielhunternorwood]

Life Sucks, Imma Talk About It

Not sure how many people actually follow after me on whatever sites at this point, but I feel like I need to get something out of my system. Firstly, about the lack of overall content lately. Outside of the Average Player videos, which are minimal at best, I've been stuck without much creative energy due to a lot of stress factors related to work.

From around December until mid- to late-March, I had a lot more work to handle at my job due to a lot of incompetent upper management over-stressing the mid-management who were working double time while the store manager was on leave from a medical procedure.

While I was bouncing between two stores to help out at first, I had to cut down to the original store due to just how excessive a lot of the demands were and how much I was basically the only reliable back-up for getting stuff done. While the plus side was that it gave me a lot of extra hours (which allowed me to buy a new, beefy desktop PC), it left me mentally exhausted and unable to really focus on anything creative.

Once the store manager began popping back in at reduced hours, though, the hours I worked went back to being absolute shit. This is, of course, bad for a lot of reasons I won't detail. However, it also put me into a realization that I'm being singled out by the store manager for whatever reason. You know that feeling of how you're treated like shit so you quit instead of get fired? It's like that.

Well, all that came to a head when the manager of the other store, someone I knew very well from my last job and helped me get the job here in the first place, flat-out quit last week. While I'm happy he chose to leave, given how much hell they put him through, it does cut off an easy means of getting more hours by helping out at the other store.

Adding on that previous plans of moving to another state to be with someone were canned thanks to the heavy hours of working giving me little prep time, I've not been in a very pleasant position overall mentally.

Most of all, the laptop I have been using up until now has been such a piece of shit in doing anything marginally laborious, which is doubly infuriating with the fact that I was "forced" to use it for gaming due to the Windows 10-only thing for a bunch of games that would run just fine on my old desktop.

And last, but not least, is that the forced necessity of living with my mentally-unstable and deranged mother has gotten worse in that she retired in December, leaving me with basically no time to be alone and free in the house.

This has all culminated in a huge dogpile of stress that has made it difficult to focus on anything remotely creative for some time now. The fact that I spent over $2k on a new PC, while necessary for what I want to do in the future, is still pretty stressful due to an uncertain money situation.

My hope has been, though, that being able to have a devoted gaming PC again will let me revert laptop usage to its original intent: creative shit. So far, it's kind of worked out, though I've basically had to give myself time to mentally relax beyond just playing video games.

The reason I decided to bring all this up now is that, well, a huge storm rolled through and knocked out power for long enough that I had to slow myself down and not expect to do anything for well over a day. The morning after it happened, I ended up setting a chair on the back porch and began reading.

That moment of quiet peace and reading turned into a much larger slowdown than I thought, and it kind of gave me time to think about what the hell's been going on in my life, while I've been rushing about trying so hard to get things done.

So, hopefully I can get my shit together soon, now that I've kicked myself out of the big rush I forced myself into the past few months. I wouldn't expect much in the writing department, since I have a lot of background stuff to work out, but I also want to find a decent hosting site for this stuff. I left Inkitt before they went AI-crazy, and I'm not sure about posting anything on Wattpad in the event I want to publish.

Expect some more shitposting in the meantime, to get some creativity flowing. I do really miss photoshopping silly things together, even if only a few people seem to enjoy them.

[turtlemagnum]

i got a new laptop the other day since the old one died. it doesn't have a whole lot of storage but i specifically looked for one with a quality CPU so it could emulate fairly well. grabbed some roms from my desktop to put on it, because i was gonna head over to my mom's place for the night the same day. she asked if i had bonk on it, i didn't but quickly grabbed a rom of super bonk on the snes for her to play. wasn't the version she grew up with, seemed to have some fun with it but overall didn't seem the most enjoyable. i mentioned that i had a link to the past already on here, and she lit up. she immediately wanted to play it, so i obliged.

now, growing up one of the only luxuries we had was a super nintendo. one of the only games we had for it was a link to the past, and she'd regularly replay it, and i'd watch. it was one of my earliest introductions to gaming, and was really special the whole way through; there's definitely a reason as to why i'm the zelda fuck i am today. she wouldn't really let me play it much, but one thing she said that stuck with me is that she thought i'd never be better at it than her even when i'm an adult.

fast forward a few years later, i'm no longer the little kid i was back when she still had a working SNES, i have a gaming PC and an 8bitdo SN30 pro, which is essentially a super nintendo controller with an extra set of shoulder buttons and a pair of thumbsticks. naturally, i play a link to the past on it, and after about 2-3 days i beat it. one of the few games i can say i've beaten 100%, assuming you don't count the extremely linear ones where the win condition is going through the entire game like, for instance, mario the lost levels. as i've grown older, i've gotten a lot better at video games than i was as a kid. i wouldn't say i'm fantastic at them, but i'm in a bit of a weird middleground where i'm significantly better than the average gamer but leagues behind the people at the top who actually know what the fuck they're doing. regardless, i got through the game pretty quick and easily, and i believe i might not have even died throughout, though i don't feel like checking. regardless, here's the sad part of the story

when i sat there watching her play it, there was an indelible sense of nostalgia that washed over me. but, slowly, i realized that she wasn't anywhere near as good as she used to be. i could tell she had forgotten a lot of stuff, gotten a lot worse at physically controlling link, at times forgot which buttons did what, and sometimes had to be reminded of things that i thought was second nature to her given the years and years she'd played the game. at first, i found it kind of funny, and i had a bit of pride at the idea that i had finally gotten better than her at a link to the past. then, the more i could tell she forgot, the more it set in that it likely wasn't just rust from a lack of practice.

my mom has... hit her head, a fair few times in her life. i was right there with her in the ER when pretty much all of them happened. and i've definitely noticed that a lot of her mental faculties have gotten... worse, after each one. more and more she'd repeat things we'd just talked about, have to think a lot harder about things that came naturally, rejecting more philosophical discussions saying that she didn't have the mental energy for them. i'd say that she's still absolutely functional in day to day life, and that she's probably gotten better in the time since the last time she hit her head, but i'd be lying if i said that in some ways, the mother i had as a kid died a little bit with each head injury. so this, this really set in how far gone in some ways she's become.

it became fairly bittersweet after a while, watching her play. when i was younger, i'd watch her get through the whole game in one sitting with little difficulty, and now she struggled to get through to the second dungeon. i know it sounds silly, but seeing her struggle with something like this to such a degree just really made me realize all that's happened between then and now. it's not really about the game, is it? it's about seeing someone you love slowly fade both physically and mentally in a way that you can do nothing to stop. the nostalgia became overwhelmed with a sense of how we can never go back, now.