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ughgoaway · 11 months ago

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nightmare before christmas // day 4

content warnings; umm nothing really? nightmares, crying and upset Annie :(

a/n; I had so much fun writing this one. Do I love the result? mmm, not really!! but i hate everything i do soooo... we move! also, if you don't know the book aliens love underpants, I would advise a quick Google for context lol <3

word count; 1.9k

(this fic takes place after they have gotten together)

12 days masterlist

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The pitter patter of small feet coming down the hallway isn't an unusual sound to you now, having moved in with the Healy’s a few months ago and quickly becoming ajdusted to living with 2 extra people. But it was unusual to hear it at midnight a few days before Christmas.

You're still awake, having not been able to sleep because your mind can't stop racing. Your first Christmas with Annie was making you nervous, matty had spoken to her on her own and asked if it was okay that you were here. Annie answered with an enthusiastic “YES!!” It was so enthusiastic, in fact, that you heard it from where you were hiding out in the kitchen. But still, you were nervous, not wanting to ruin her Christmas.

The footsteps caught your attention, and then the telltale sound of the bedroom door opening filled your ears. Those same feet came up to Matty's side of the bed, and you heard the softest whisper, “Daddy”

Annie waited a few seconds but simply got a snore in return from Matty.

“Daddy” she tried a little louder, even touching Matty's arm slightly, but still, he didn't stir. He had a long day at the studio fighting with George over the production of a new song, so he was exhausted. You knew he was knocked out hard, so I sat up and gestured to Annie.

“Hey sweetie, are you alright, my love?” you say softly, ushering her over to your side of the bed. Annie came shuffling over to you, dressed in her Grinch pyjamas with her stuffed bear in her arms. She quickly jumped up on the bed and sat on your lap.

“I had a scary dream” she says. You can see she's trying to hold herself together, but the sight of her lip wobbling almost sets you off too. Your heart shatters at her sad, sleepy eyes. She brings her closed fists and rubs at them, clearly fighting the tiredness she is feeling.

“Oh I'm sorry darling, would you like a hug?” you say softly, rubbing her back. A small nod from her is all it takes for you to throw yourself at her and wrap her in a tight hug. You hold her close and eventually hear a soft sniffle. You have to take a deep breath to not cry yourself. You simply tighten your grip and slowly rub up and down her back.

Eventually, the wet spot on your shirt stops growing, and her breathing evens out slightly. You pull back, and she looks up at you with red-rimmed eyes.

“Would you like me to try and wake up Daddy, sweet girl? He wouldn't mind at all” you say, despite wanting nothing more than to comfort her yourself.

“No it's okay” she says with a sniffle, “will you take me to my bed to read a story?” she asks. Before you get a chance to respond, she cuts in quickly and adds, “And stay there until I fall asleep?” with pleading eyes.

Oh, if your heart wasn't already in 1000 pieces at her sad eyes, that comment would have done you in.

“Of course my love, let's go, huh?” You swing your legs off the side of the bed and pick Annie up, placing her on your hip and then walking out to her room. The hallway floors were freezing on your cold feet, and you hiss as you step out. Still, you shuffle down to Annie's room, ready to get her settled.

Her paw patrol night light still illuminates her room in a warm glow as you wander in, strategically avoiding all the stuffed toys on the floor. You place Annie on her bed and tuck her in, making sure to make it especially tight, and she giggles at your obsessive tucking. There were few greater sounds than the laugh of a child, but it feels even after they've been crying to you.

Gently, you sit on the side of the bed and stroke her hair before speaking, “Now what book do you want me to read, Annie? It can be absolutely any of them! i promise I'm a good reader” you jokingly add.

“I know that y/n!” Annie says with a duh look on her face, “You taught me to read properly!” she giggles out. You mirror her actions and put a shocked look on your face in response.

“I had forgotten that little, Miss Annie!!” You teasingly poke her side as you speak. Soon, she decides on “Aliens Love Underpants”, her current favourite.

Despite Matty having already read it to her tonight, she wants to hear it again, and who are you to deny her?

You open the book to begin to read, but you feel a small hand touch your knee, and you pause to see Annie sat up with her teddy back in hand. “Will you sit up with me to read it y/n?” she asks shyly, burrowing her nose in her teddy.

Your face softens, and you can't help the audible sigh that comes out of your mouth at how sweet she is. “Absolutely my girl, shuffle over for me, huh?” she wiggles over excitedly, and you slide into the spot she made. Before long she’s curling into your side and wriggles to get comfortable.

Once settled, she grabs her teddy, puts her thumb in her mouth, and asks you to start.

So you do, and even before you hit halfway, you hear soft snores from the little girl next to you. Briefly pausing, you pull back to see Annie fast asleep next to you, her mouth wide open and her eyelids fluttering.

But you settle back in and continue to read, “Just to make sure she was really asleep” you assure yourself.

Little did you know, at this time in your room, Matty had awoken, having flipped over and stretched to pull you close only to be met with an empty bed next to him. He groggily shot his head up at the feeling of the cold sheets.

His curls were wild and sticking in every direction. But any confusion didn't last long, as he heard your mellow voice ringing through the halls.

He sat up and listened intently, immediately recognising what you were reading, having read it a few dozen times himself. He knew it was towards the end of the book, so Matty thought he’d wait in bed for you to return, not willing to traverse the cold hallways and leave his warm cocoon.

But as you finish the last words, you simply start again. Matty scrunches his face in confusion, knowing Annie has never stayed awake for a full read of that book. So why would you need to read it again?

Sighing sadly, he slips out of the blanket fort he had created and slides on his slippers to come find you. Not without audibly grumbling to himself, though.

Slowly, he walks through the house, trying his best not to alert you to his presence. But little did he know Matty could have stomped through those hallways, and you would’ve been none the wiser, too distracted by his sleeping daughter and her adorableness.

Your melodic voice soundtracked Matty's walk, and he caught himself smiling at the mere sound of you speaking. “What a sap,” he thought to himself, so easily enamoured by your every move.

Before Matty poked his head around that door, he didn't think he could be any more in love with you. The months of pining and build up only to finally get you were everything to him. He thought he knew romantic love, but he didn't really, not until he had you.

You just had this aura around you that surrounded Matty in a way he didn't think was possible before. And, of course, he had heard about love his whole life. He had heard the love songs before, hell had written his fair share, but nothing compared to really being in love.

So he thought he'd found its peak. That was until he poked his head around Annie's door that night and saw you two huddled together reading. He saw his sleeping daughter fast asleep in your arms and you looking at her with such adoration in your eyes, and somehow he fell even deeper.

Matty worked his way into the room, still trying to be undetected, but he soon stood on a squeaky toy that alerted you to his presence. You look up, and immediately your face breaks out into the most breathtaking smile Matty had seen.

If he thought you were looking at Annie with love, it was nothing compared to the love in your eyes when they met his own.

“Hi angel” he said quietly, walking over towards you slowly, taking in the view in front of him carefully. He made note of the way Annie was tucked closely into your side, her toy tight in her arms. He wanted to remember the way your arm was swung around her, sliding your hand up and down her back absentmindedly.

“Hi baby,” you whisper as you purse your lips up at Matty. He smiled bashfully and leaned down to peck your lips. Not just willing to give you just one, he pressed your lips together a few times before pulling away.

All it takes is a scrunch of his eyebrows for you to start explaining yourself.

“Annie had a nightmare and came to find you, but you were fast asleep and wouldn't wake up,” you begin to explain, a wash of sadness falls over Matty's face at the image of his daughter not being able to wake him up.

You bring one hand up to hold his before continuing, “but luckily, I was awake with my silly brain, so I called her over. She had a little cry and a cuddle.” Matty's face drops further, and you simply squeeze his hand once more in an attempt to comfort him.

“Then I offered to wake you up, but she asked me to tuck her in and read a book until she fell back asleep. So that's what we did.” You smile gently down at her as you finish your sentence. Matty slips his hand from yours and places it on your head. He begins stroking your head and fiddling with your hair as he speaks.

“That is so sweet of you, thank you, baby.” he says sincerely, “but why are you still reading? She has been asleep ages judging by the drool on her pillow” he gestures with his hand, and below Annie’s head is a small wet patch, causing you to chuckle to yourself.

“I know, I know. But I just wanted to make sure she was properly asleep. I promised I would stay until she fell asleep, and I didn't want her to wake up and be alone.” A slightly embarrassed tone permeates your words, but your eyes shine with nothing but pure love.

“I love you.” Matty blurts out, having no other thoughts at that moment. Seeing his two favourite girls curled up together already had Matty's head spinning, but hearing you say that nearly bowled him over.

“I love you too, babe,” you say sweetly, still caressing Annie's shoulder subconsciously and sleepily staring up at your boyfriend.

You had no idea how much this moment meant to Matty. No idea this was the moment he decided he was going to marry you.

#christmas75 #matty healy #matty healy fanfiction #matty healy fic #matty healy fluff #matty healy x you #matty healy x reader #the 1975 fic #teacher au!#matty makes everyone pancakes the next morning as an apology btw #(he burns a few but does pretty well overall)

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marshallpupfan · 1 month ago

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The Air Rescue Controversy...

At the time of typing this, the latest episode of PAW Patrol to air was season 11's "Air Rescue: Pups Save a Hum-stronaut". In it, Skye's jet transformed and went out into space, Chase and Marshall dealt with falling debris that caught on fire upon reentry, and Rocky, Rubble and Zuma protected things at Adventure Bay's new airport. The controversial thing here, however, was how the latter three pups referred to themselves as the "ground crew".

The moment I heard them say that, I knew there would be grumbling around the fandom. This, combined with the continued confirmation that only Chase, Marshall and Skye received aerial vehicles, did not sit too well with fans. Those three are off saving the day, while Zuma's "job" is to press buttons to operate the plane wash, Rubble does... whatever he does, and Rocky uses a new vehicle to help load and unload luggage. Fans have pointed out the inequality regarding the treatment of three of these main characters, and how it just doesn't make a whole lot of sense.

The thing is, I don't necessarily mind the idea. In fact, I'd argue that, on paper, it sounds just fine. People tend to forget that those on the ground are quite important, too. And given the size of Chase, Marshall and Skye's new vehicles, having six large aerial vehicles in the air at the same time, and in the same space, might not be the best idea. This isn't like Jet to the Rescue, in which each pup had tiny, personal planes. Besides, I'm not sure about them trying to squeeze in a "construction plane" or something.

The idea of a ground crew sounds fine... again, on paper. The execution, like many episodes these past seasons, is the problem. If they wanted a ground crew, they should've given the three something to make them just as or close to useful as the other three in the air.

Did they? Nope.

Zuma presses a button to run a plane wash. This is pretty much all he does, outside of sticking a sponge on his paw to clean a lens or push some stairs on wheels around (I think Rubble did this once, too). Compare that to Skye and her new jet, flying around at high speeds and even traveling up into space. It's quite the gap, to say the least.

They really should've done something to prevent this. My personal idea, if you'll indulge a person who still wishes he could write for this cartoon someday, is to just ditch the ground crew idea for those three pups (and give it to someone else, who I'll mention later). Instead, how about each of the three new aerial vehicles has a secondary feature, which is ran by one of those other three pups? Marshall's plane can put out fires, but if there's ever an emergency at sea, he can launch Zuma's dropship submersible. Chase's helicopter can save the day however it does, but if something up high needs repair, Rocky can operate robotic-like arms (similar to what's inside his pup pack) while the copter hovers in place. As for Skye and Rubble, I'm not sure how to squeeze construction equipment in there, but maybe one of you can think of something.

In any case, this could've been a good way to send all of the pups into the air, not to mention it might've made for some fun toys, too ("FIREFIGHTER PLANE SET, WITH MARSHALL FIGUREINE + ZUMA & HIS DROPSHIP!! ONE BUTTON SHOOTS WATER, WHILE THE OTHER LAUNCHES THE DROPSHIP FROM THE BOTTOM!!"). Instead, they stuck three of them on the ground and gave them jobs that, let's face it, could've easily been handled by Robo-Dog. Yeah, he's oddly absent during this subseries, huh? Besides, having each new aerial vehicle carry two pups could've allowed for some fun dialogue during missions, too. Marshall and Zuma can chat while en route, and then Zuma can watch a radar or camera while Marshall's focused on putting out fires. Hey, most planes have a pilot and a co-pilot, right? There are plenty of possibilities!

Sadly, they instead went with something quite questionable. And it's worrisome, given that this could easily happen again under PAW Patrol's new director. Will the next subseries, Fire Rescue, continue this unequal treatment? Will Marshall, Chase and Skye get fancy new firefighting vehicles while Zuma only presses a button to open a garage door, Rocky just puts tools on the new vehicles and sometimes makes repairs, and Rubble gets a smaller vehicle that's designed only to refill the water tanks in said new vehicles? It goes without saying that fans are hoping that's not the case.

Despite my complaints over the last few years, I still like PAW Patrol... but I can't help but shake my head at some of their decisions as of late. It seems like every time the franchise does something good, something bad comes along to drag it down again. They give us Boomer, and then they give us Zuma's plane wash. It's weird.

Given that Marshall's my favorite, I'm hoping Fire Rescue avoids this issue. I really want his subseries to win fans over and give us something great. I don't want to see it become another Air Rescue, which hasn't even concluded yet and it's already left some fans so disappointed.

Well, we do have four 11-minute segments remaining of Air Rescue, so hopefully it'll give the "ground crew" something good to make the idea worth it. Hey, you never know! Let's hope, anyway.

#PAW Patrol #PAWPatrol

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dimetrodone · 3 months ago

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I fear to ask, but I will anyway. What is your opinion on the Paw Patrol movies (if you've dared to see them). Obviously story-wise they're nothing, but I think it's interesting they exist at all, considering how low budget and low effort the show itself is. It's not /surprising/ that they got made considering how popular Paw Patrol is, but I do think it's funny that they were basically forced to make an effort if they wanted taxpaying adults to see it in theaters. It's like if someone flung 30 mil at a Peppa Pig cinematic universe.

I have only seen the first one and a TV movie, have yet to see Paw Patrol: The Mighty Movie (a different film then Paw Patrol: The Movie)

I should know better, since kid shows that are just 20 minute toy commercials is nothing new, but it somehow took me watching these to realize how much Paw Patrol is a shameless toy commercial. I think I was expecting there to be some loose attempt at being educational with how young the target demographic is, but nah these really are just commercials for 4 year olds that run over an hour and given theatrical runs. I can’t really complain about kids these days cause I had my own slop as a kid, my mom had to watch The Digimon movie in theatres..

Fascinated by how much the franchise and society at large doesn’t give a shit about these two puppies. They are expendable compared to the other puppies who fill the important roles of Cop, mandatory second guy that makes red/blue contrast with main, the girl one, and the one that eats, and the furlesss bipedal one.

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fountainpenguin · 2 months ago

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I know realistically Kevin and Dale would never talk to each because of age difference, class difference, Dale's trust issues etc.

But you can't write two socially inept boys with a passion for robotics and not have them interreact once!

Rip. They could have been besties. Maybe in another life.

I have been THINKING SO HARD on Kevin since I realized Dale is into robotics too- I didn't expect canon would just give me a robotics expert back when I tossed Kevin into that role due to cyborg obsession!

My current Cloudlands AU canon is still set up for Kevin designing the robot babysitters we see in "Channel Chasers" (Maybe Vicky bought one and customized it? Unclear)... I'm not sure if that will stay, but I feel like Dale wouldn't be happy about the Vicky design, sldkfj...

I'm not emotionally attached to the "Channel Chasers" future and I wasn't looking forward to rushing the city to be high-tech in 20 years, so if New Wish can ignore flying cars and stuff, I might too. We'll see...

Anyway, Kevin is practically the only kid in the OG series who told us what he wanted to be when he grew up and it was a dentist... and Dale has teeth issues and also likes robots... Hm. Inch resting.

I mean, Kevin IS a Buxaplenty in my lore...

... it's not out of the question for him to toy more with that side of his heritage as he grows older and closer to Remy...

POV: You're Dale sent to meet a Buxaplenty at a convention:

One of my favorite jokes in Cloudlands AU is that Kevin - an estranged Buxaplenty-Crocker child with witch magic that forces him to see ghosts under specific circumstances - has bizarre relationships with random people, but won't elaborate...

Ex: His job shadow with the Grim Reaper (x), his stepfamily (x) who are definitely not vampires (x), Jimmy Neutron's son despite him not being born at that point in the 2D World timeline (x), he's gotten an email from Danny Phantom (x), the Crocker house talks to him (x), he watches soap operas with his uncle's ex (who is a cat) (x), he knows the Burger World Employee & Bob the Boil & Mikey Munroe through Club Redheads Who Didn't Get Mindwiped (x), he's Foop's foster dad (x), he's caretaker for his undead great-uncle who was reborn as an iguana (x), he's still "alive" 150k years in the future (after he's reborn as a crow) and has met people in Foop's teen friend group (x), he lived beneath the same roof as Anti-Sanderson (x)... List goes on. I also like to think he's met Dark Laser's son. Kevin is the only one who ever knows what's going on with his life.

Canonically in my lore, Kevin has laid eyes on Rudy Tabootie from ChalkZone, Diego and Baby Jaguar from Go Diego Go, Chase from Paw Patrol, and he's spoken to Zac from Shimmer and Shine because they were all at the interdimensional Nick show pizza parlor.

It is not out of the question for Kevin to be familiar with Dale, because Dimmadelphia is heavily implied to be a tech empire (Robotics community is big there), they might've attended the same fancy tech university for a year or two, and it totally fits Kevin's gag. It's the Crocker curse of getting in everyone's way...

I'mma be honest, I think Kevin is Dale's type (Struggling under the weight of the world, daddy / mommy / step-daddy / uncle issues, the town has come to expect A Vibe from his family, is "extra" when the setting calls for it, builds awesome robots, makes money in a stable career)... Dale's type is "As easy to understand and low maintenance as possible; bonus points for same interests."

I think Dale just wants to live by himself tbh. He gets along so well with Hadley because she's very independent, also from a wealthy family (Leadlys), travels a lot, doesn't "need" him, and totally gets his need for personal space and clear instructions on how she wants to celebrate holidays and anniversaries. Hadley tells him exactly what to do and Dale says "Bless this low-brainpower relationship I scored. Whatever you say, girlfriend." They definitely spark each other off sometimes, but they're both good at taking time for themselves (and remember they like existing with each other). I think deep down, Dale is glad to have someone helping him manage his stress and bringing in extra income - plus in City Lights AU, he wants Dev to be his heir and needs a basic "let me show you what Daddy does because this will be you someday" connection to him - so those are the things that stop him from living alone. He gets lonely when Hadley's away, but he also likes fewer distractions and not sharing the bed... They get along fine :)

But Kevin sees way too much of himself in Dale (Big and loud to cover the self-deprecation and anxiety) and he's not into that, so he'd pretend to be oblivious if he ever got hit on.

Kevin's vision of Dale is "only puts in emotional energy when it's convenient." You can pry "I adore you even when you hate yourself and will happily cover extra housework when you're exhausted b/c we're a team" Chloe from Kevin's undead talons <3

City Lights AU Dale would not hit on him because he's Daddy's Good Boy and would probably have an anxiety attack if he had One (1) Fantasy outside his marriage, but y'know... In some other universe, the robot-lovers geek out together. Kevdale tag when?

Alt consideration: Hadley has her QPR with Remy and Dale has one with the Crockermichaels... Crockermichaeldome tag when... Yes, It has to be both of them... Do not separate.

Alt consideration II:

I love the Crockermichaels... I love the Cherrylemons... Please talk to me about them.

Secret Bonus Crockermichael Notes

For anyone unware of the ridiculous size difference between Chloe and Kevin's hands, allow me to enlighten you:

And yes... in the Riddleverse, Chloe and Kevin changed their surnames to Crockermichael when they got married. They miss each other when they blink <3

Bonus Pt 2 - Crocker not recognizing grown-up Chloe, but still being nice to her when the employee sends her to ride with him, which is not his usual M.O.... Chloe and her uncle-in-law... They're important to me...

Bonus Pt 3 - Kevin's wedding ring is a tiny dragon!

It's inspired by these drafts I wrote in 2018:

Her fingers skimmed along plastic containers of strawberries, and she picked two up. “Here. One for your place, one for mine.” Kevin eyeballed the price sticker on the sign. “I dunno. They’re out of season. I’ll pass.” Chloe arched her brows. One offended hand flew to her chest. “Sure, it’s a premium price right now, but what could be more rewarding than maintaining a healthy body every month of the year?” “Your engagement ring, I hope.” Chloe considered this, then set one box down. “It better have a strawberry engraved on it.” “Actually, I was thinking I’d get this neat silver one that looks like a little robot wrapped around your finger.”

Chloe bounced on her heels. “I look forward to welcoming all aspects of my pregnancy, even the ones which are, tragically, so often seen as negative.” Molly tapped her nails against her mug. “Let me guess. You’ve already got a dozen baby names picked out.” “I am partial to Chloe Junior myself,” she admitted, grinning Kevin’s way. “But Kevin likes Phillip, after the prince from Sleeping Beauty.” “I like dragons,” he called over his hot chocolate. Chloe waved her hand. “I’m not sure about it since it isn’t super gender-neutral. We’re still working things out on that end. Although it would be a very cute name for a girl…” She stared at the loose change in the change jar, lost in thought.

Along the Cherry Lane - WIP

Fun game called "Can you guess which worldbuilding detail Chloe and Kevin don't know about above? :)"

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self-indulgent-paw-patrol · 9 months ago

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Paw Patrol Appreciation Week 2024

Saturday - Facing Fears

(Posting this one day late because I was busy and feeling sick yesterday)

I headcanon that Zuma's worst fear is of finding himself alone. He's an extremely social dog and is always around someone, even if they're not directly interacting - just staying in the same room or place is enough. If he ever finds himself in an unknown place, without his family or friends, and unable to contact them, he will very probably panic badly.

He never talked about it to the other pups or to Ryder, though. Ryder only knows it because when Zuma was still in training, he destroyed at least four beds, a couple bowls and some chewing toys by chewing and literally eating through them whenever he was left unattended for a longer period, which are clear signals of separation anxiety. It took Ryder some patience and compromise on letting Zuma stay around and even sleep with him until he got better with time, especially after the pup got past the initial phase of getting used to his new home and friends.

#I just wanna add that I'll never get over those Chase slippers #PawPatrolWeek24 #Paw Patrol Appreciation Week #Paw Patrol #Paw Patrol Fanart #Ryder #Zuma #Paw Patrol Ryder #Paw Patrol Zuma

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fallenclan · 5 months ago

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Ivybounce's No Good Bad Moon by Dice Anon

The sky is falling apart. Ivybounce has decided. The world is crashing down all around her.

Bristleheart had broken the news to her gently. Sleepycloud was dead, yes, but his legacy would live on yet. Tales of vigor and prowess would guide him onward, yet, but there was something new. A legacy in life, as well.

Ivybounce hadn’t realized what he meant. She’d asked, heart pounding. Was he alive? No, that's impossible. They’d buried him. The dirt would be choking his pelt by now. There was no way he could live. Her eyes had turned to Bristleheart’s, hope blossoming.

He had smiled sadly, and explained gently that she was expecting Sleepydawn’s kittens. Her thoughts had scrambled, but she refused. No, that's impossible. They’d always spoken of a litter together. Never apart in this endeavor and never separated. Never like this. She wanted to hear his voice name a kitten. Ivybounce wanted to watch as he played with his kits, excited and happy. She wanted to have his love cover the kits, showing in small toys and gifts. She wanted Sleepycloud to purr. She wanted that connection.

She began to cry, and left hurriedly. Bristleheart hadn’t come after her. Ivybounce assumed he knew the pain she was in well enough. He had kits of his own, but no second parent to claim them.

She paused now, at the entrance to the nursery. A week prior, Salmonskip had given birth to Jumblekit. She didn’t want to disturb them, but she wanted help. If she was going to be in the nursery, she wanted to make her nest herself. She wanted to craft it with her own paws.

Otterslip had always been a crafty cat. He’d weave stems into intricate shapes for his kits to play with. He’d carve small shapes into twigs with his claws, and he’d play games with them. Ivybounce loved this about her father. He was clever and ambition bit at his hind legs with fervidity. She loved her father. Even as he stalked Stormsight to the edge of the cliffsides and even as he lept. Ivybounce knew that love would never leave.

When he was exiled, Ivybounce pushed that it was a misunderstanding! That it wasn’t true. Her father would never touch a medic’s pelt like that. He’d loved his clan. Otterslip was loyal, loving, and cared. He could never hurt a cat in FallenClan. Otterslip had looked at her with such pain in his eyes that it had made her recoil.

When she’d fallen asleep that night, she’d wept like a kitten. She wanted her father’s fur across her back, like when she was a kitten. She wanted to smell his fur, just like the grasses he’d weaved for them long ago, and she wanted her life back. She wanted Grassroot beside her again. She wanted so much, but was unable to have it.

She’d always had a hard time letting go. Sometimes, when she was done with patrols and work, she’d walk out to Grassroot’s grave and talk. She’d talk about the prey, strange animals she saw, dreams and ideas for FallenClan, and so much more. Her sister was still there, if she closed her eyes and dreamed so.

She wanted to dream that everything was okay.

“Ivybounce! Come in, I can see you hesitating outside!” Salmonskip’s voice cuts through her thoughts. She hurriedly darts into the den. Moosefall is there, grinning at Jumblekit as he plays with a piece of moss. Salmonskip grins at her friend, but upon seeing the tears in Ivybounce’s eyes, turns to Moosefall, whispering something to the brown and white cat.

Moosefall leaves a few moments later, brushing Ivybounce’s pelt comfortingly as they pass. Salmonskip beckons her friend closer, and Ivybounce takes uneasy steps closer. Salmonskip sits up and opens her paw out, and Ivybounce takes the offer, embracing the tortoiseshell molly with tears flowing freely.

They hug for a long time. Ivybounce doesn’t know how long it’s been when they pull away, but she knows her tears have long dried, and her voice aches. She wants to embrace her friend for longer, but she knows that she can't. The feeling of another is a temporary touch she cannot bring herself to keep. The warmth of fur will shred in her claws. It is not for her.

Ivybounce sits back and curls up beside her friend. Salmonskip’s eyes move to watch her kit, wanting to give Ivybounce some space. The pregnant molly is silent for a few long moments, before slowly exhaling. Salmonskip’s ear twitches at the sound.

“I’m pregnant.” Ivybounce cannot bring herself to say more. Salmonskip watches as Jumblekit lays down, ready to sleep, before turning her attention to her friend. Ivybounce can feel pity washing off her friend like waves on the river.

She doesn’t want pity. She wants Sleepycloud. Ivybounce tries to speak.

“I can’t…” A pause. “..how am I supposed to do this without him?”

Silence, but as Salmonskip tries to speak, a familiar booming voice comes from the entrance.

“Salmonskip! I’m here to see Jumblekit!” Teddyfluff’s voice booms. For such a small cat, he’s very loud. Ivybounce watches as the golden tabby slips into the nursery, eyes alight and mouth open in a wide smile. When he spots Ivybounce, he pauses, then wilts a little. Ivybounce notices that his jaw is no longer bandaged up, like it was yesterday. A scar now rests there.

“Am I interrupting… uh.. something?” His voice trails a little, but before Salmonskip can speak, Ivybounce shakes her head.

“Nope! We were just talkin’ about…” Ivybouce trails off, and Teddyfluff looks at her with eyes of steel. She breaks under the pressure. “I’m pregnant. And I’m not sure what to do. I just–”

Teddyfluff interrupts, eyes wide. “You’re pregnant? That’s amazing news!” Ivybounce recoils slightly at that. Salmonskip hurries to correct Teddyfluff.

“I think he means that it’s amazing that you get to have another litter!” She tries, grinning at Ivybounce awkwardly. Ivybounce doesn’t notice, eyes locked on Teddyfluff. She tilts her head slightly. She knew this cat was an outsider, but she didn’t expect such… outspoken thoughts. Teddyfluff blinks.

“Did I say something wrong?” He asks, glancing to Salmonskip for support. She doesn’t speak up.

“It’s just… In the clans, a family is what you want it to be. I want mine to have my whole family but…” She gulps, eyes darting to her paws. “Everyone I want to be in my family isn’t here… My heart hurts and I just want Sleepycloud back.”

The nursery is silent for a moment.

“Let's leave Salmonskip and Jumblekit alone and chat a bit, hm?” Teddyfluff speaks after a moment. Ivybounce nods slowly and stands to leave. Ivybounce licks her friend’s head comfortingly and leaves, Teddyfluff’s golden fur guiding the way to the edge of the camp. A corner of the camp, shaded but still having a good view of the main clearing, was where Teddyfluff led her.

“You’re grieving. Tell me about that, please.” Teddyfluff speaks as soon as they are both sitting and settled. Ivybounce is quiet for a moment before nodding.

“I loved Sleepycloud. He was my mate and was there for me when my father… did his unspeakable action. He comforted me and loved me. I loved him so much. I hate this, why’d he have to die?” Tears well up in her eyes, but she refuses to cry. She won’t cry.

There is silence for a long moment.

“Death is like crossing the thunderpath, I think. We spend so much time living on one side that we don’t realize that we have to cross. I think that Sleepycloud’s ancestors knew it was his time to leap across that asphalt crossing, and he ran.” Teddyfluff pauses. “I think he’s looking back at the other side of the road, wishing he could be here, but I think he knows he can’t cross back. I don’t think he regrets not crossing, though.”

Ivybounce is silent. She just leans into Teddyfluff’s figure, and begins to cry again. He hesitates, before nodding, embracing the grieving molly.

(beetle notes: TOP TEN FICS THAT MADE ME CRY BADSTYLE. this is SO. its so. oughhhh its like you took a picture of Ivybounce's soul and wrote a story about it. its so good. and the fact that the last of SleepyIvy's first litter died not long after he did. my fucking heart)

#death tw #fallenfic #dice anon

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trinketfairy · 1 month ago

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ATTENTION: Please do not buy Spin Master or Gund toys firsthand, as the CEO is financially supporting Israel.

"Ronnen Harary and his university friends founded the toy and entertainment company Spin Master in 1994, launching with Earth Buddies and later the wildly successful Air Hogs toys. Today, it’s their Paw Patrol characters and Gund stuffed animals that are globally famous. And for the last two weeks, since the Oct. 7 Hamas massacre in southern Israel, Harary has been on the ground in Israel distributing 25,000 toys for Israeli kids and their families who have been affected by the war with Hamas. And that’s not all. His personal charity is buying new beds for the Hadassah hospital in Jerusalem to boost capacity ahead of expected casualties. Meanwhile, the Canadian philanthropist has also personally driven boxes of socks and supplies to army bases all over Israel, and his charity is helping a Canadian-led operation sending a food truck to feed soldiers before they embark on what’s expected to be an unprecedented ground assault on the Gaza Strip against Hamas, including to rescue hostages."

Canadian toymaker Ronnen Harary is helping Israeli kids, soldiers and hospitals; The Canadian Jewish News

Brands under Spin Master include: 4D Build, Aerobie, Air Hogs, Bakugan, Batman, Bitzee, Cool Maker, Crystal Flyers, DC Universe, Disney Junior toys, Dreamworks Dragons/Dragons Rescue Riders, Etch A Sketch, Gabby's Dollhouse, Hatchimals, Hex Botzs, Kinetic Sand, Marshmallow furniture, Meccano, Melissa & Doug, Mighty Express, Monster Jam, Ms. Rachel, Paw Patrol/Rubble & Crew, P.Lushes Pets, Punirunes, Purse Pets, Rubiks, Supercross, Tech Deck, Vida The Vet, Wizarding World: Harry Potter

Brands under Gund include: Boo the World's Cutest Dog, Gudetama, P.lushes Pets, Peter Rabbit, Paw Patrol, Hello Kitty/Sanrio, Pusheen, Sesame Street

Consider buying Spin Master/Gund products secondhand, or seek for any of the toy brands on my spreadsheet that have not shown support for Israel:

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jtwritesstuff · 1 year ago

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Race to the Finish - Chapter 1

I feel awareness coming in first, that feeling of waking after a long nap, and the tiredness that comes with that feeling. I gently lift myself up and let a soft groan out as I look around. The room hadn’t changed much since my last lucid period, maybe a few new toys here and there, and that loop-de-loop hot wheels track was definitely new. The room was mostly the same, the same race car bed my other side had picked out, same wild, unkempt toys scattered here and there, again thanks to my other side.

As I sit I feel the telltale squish of my pull up under my bottom and wince, the night accidents had started soon after catching the virus, even when I was an adult, and I’d still not gotten used to them after…well I didn’t know how many months it’d been at this point. The periods of my other side taking over were there, but kids couldn’t tell time, dates, much of anything, and some things like waiting for mommy- Khris… to get out of a conversation felt like an eternity to a four year old, yet things like daycare seemed to pass in a snap. I slowly pulled myself out of bed, cringing at the feeling between my legs as it squished, and upon looking down cringed again, seeing the childish Paw Patrol PJs I was in. I got up and went to my dresser, one now much bigger than me, though I knew where all the clothes were, starting with underwear I opened the lowest drawer and sighed, digging through, looking for anything without cartoons or cutesy animals, picking a pair that just had Pikachu on them. I had pulled my pants down when I’d heard the sound of the door opening and a blush fell across my face as Khris, my mommy and previous girlfriend walked in, smiling softly.

“And what are we doing mister?” I let out a sigh as I looked down “Khris… it’s me… I’m just trying to get out of..this” I said, motioning to my well used pull up. Khris seemed a little shocked but kept the smile up “Well, welcome back Stephen, heard ya through the baby monitor and assumed little Stevie was trying to change himself, normally doesn’t end up well as he can have trouble with pants.” She chuckled as I blushed more, my face feeling like it might catch fire at any moment. “W-Well…I’m not him so..c-can you please leave, also where are the wipes?” Khris chuckled again and just walked over, taking them off the top of my dresser and handing them to me before going to walk out.

“Call me if you need help, I’m just in the living room.” I just blushed more as the door shut, how could she think I need help, it’s just pants and underwear, maybe a shirt if I’m lucky and any of them are less childish. I make quick work of ripping the sides of my pull up and letting it fall to the floor before cleaning myself, something I’d gotten used to before the periods of mental regression had started happening. I slide on the underwear and find a somewhat mature looking pair of shorts before throwing the pull up into the diaper pail near my dresser, though I didn’t need diapers, it kept my room from smelling like stale pee. I walked out and sighed as everything seemed so…big now, everything from a four year olds perspective seemed like it was made for giants. I made my way to the living room where Khris gave me a warm, motherly smile “Good job sweetie! Glad you could get yourself changed after your little nap.” I blushed again “Of course I can, just because…Stevie can’t, doesn’t mean I can’t…” Khris nodded as she looked at me a bit seriously. “Well..this was a longer period under, honestly sweetie, we thought you were permanent this time.”

I looked annoyed now, probably ‘we’ as in her and her new boyfriend I’d found out about after my last time under. His name was Ty and he honestly wasn’t a bad guy, when I was in my older mindset we could talk about our passion, which was cars. Though we’d gone two very different places with our passion as I’d been a professional stunt and race driver before the virus hit, while Ty was just a mechanic. “Well, I’m back so…of course I can dress myself” I said with a huff

“Where’s Ty?” I asked, wanting a way to maybe get into a more…adult conversation. Khris sighed a bit, my want to cut the conversation not lost on her “In the garage, the car needed an oil change and he’s getting it done” I nodded and started to head that way, not wanting to lose a second where I could be having a much more…mature conversation than the triumph of being able to put my feet in the right holes without getting lost. I pulled the toddler proof door open, it having one of those over the handle covers to make it near impossible for an actual four year old to open, and made my way into the garage. Ty pulled himself out from under the car and looked at me “What are you doing out here lil guy?” “I…wanted to see if you needed any help.” Ty looked a bit surprised but then smiled and nodded “Of course I could Stephen, good to see ya back bud, been a minute.” He sat up slowly, having not changed a ton in the time I’d been under, same long hair tied into a bun, somewhat scruffy but short beard, looked like he’d just gotten out of work as he was still dirty and had the overshirt with his name on it on.

“So…what do you need me to do?” I asked, unsure how far along the process was “Well, right now could you hand me the wrench on my stool? Getting the oil filter off now.” I smiled and nodded, knowing I’d come in just in time for the start. I grabbed the wrench and quickly handed it to him and he went to slide under as I asked “Do…you need me to help under there?” He stopped and poked back out, a bit of a worried look on his face “Why don’t you stay out here bud, I don’t think you’d be able to get this off being how small you are, and you know how mommy feels about you getting all dirty, especially with oil? She’d have my head and you’d probably have a new daddy” he chuckled as he rolled under and I frowned.

I found myself actually pouting for a second and feeling the urge to stomp my foot, but just barely stopping myself as I said “I can help Ty, I’m not just gonna be a…tool boy. I know cars probably better than you!” I huffed as he sighed from under the car “It’s not about knowledge lil dude, it’s about the fact you’re four now, even if you’re mentally bigger.” I huffed again as I looked around, seeing the new oil sitting near the oil pan and grabbing it “W…Well I wanna put the oil in!” I said, not realizing how childish it sounded at the time as Ty chuckled “Sure bud, you can put the oil in, and in fact, I almost got this off, slide me the oil pan.” I walked over and pushed it towards him with my foot as I held the new oil like it was life or death.

I heard the telltale thunk as the oil filter fell into the pan and the oil started to pour out with it and Ty slid out, grabbing the new filter and chuckling upon seeing me before sliding back under and waiting. During that waiting period I cooled down a bit, sighing as I realized I’d let my more…childish emotions take over in the moment. Something that wasn’t uncommon when I was aware, though I’d never felt that..close to a tantrum before…it was odd, concerning to say the least. Before long I heard the clicking of the ratchet as he tightened the new filter in place and slid back out, smiling at me as he stood, now towering over me.

“Lemme grab the stool for ya bud, and the funnel, and then the oil is all yours.” He said, sliding the stool over and helping me onto it before putting the funnel in place and making sure it was secure as I struggled to get the cap off the fresh oil. Ty helped me a bit just to get it started but then let me do it the rest of the way, standing right behind me as I lifted up the fairly large bottle and started to pour it in. I smiled as I felt a form of accomplishment as I watched it go down the funnel, knowing I was doing way more than just handing him tools.

I helped with the first bottle and then the second and smiled as he put the engine cap on and went to go check how it ran, turning the car on. Though in my excitement of helping I went to hop of the stool, misjudging just how high up it was to my little body, I hopped down and yelped as I landed but quickly tumbled forward and whined as I caught myself on my hands and knees, wincing as I felt the sharp pain I hadn’t felt since childhood of my hands and knees getting skinned, whimpering as I stood back up, feeling my lip trembling and the childish emotions welling up, though I did my best to keep them down as Ty turned off the car and stepped out.

“Good job bud, seems to be running…you okay lil guy?” I just nodded, but my face obviously showed otherwise as he kneeled down and started to check me over “Ooo…looks like you got scraped up pretty good, this is why I told you to wait for me bud, come on, lets get mommy to get you a bandaid.” He went to stand as I looked at him, my already heightened emotions flaring up at being talked down to so easily by the man who took my girlfriend. “I can get my own damn bandaid and I don’t even need em! It was a little fall!”

Ty seemed taken aback by my sudden outburst and just looked at me “Buddy..it’s okay to-” I cut him off “And stop calling me “Buddy”! I’m not a little kid right now! You don’t need to look down on me like one!” I went to stomp into the house, flinging open the door and stomping towards my room as I saw Khris getting up from the couch. I heard Khris ask “What’s going on” and Ty said something back, I’m sure they were talking about me. I was just too upset to even care as I slammed my bedroom door shut and sat down against it, trying to hold myself together…big kids didn’t cry, adults didn’t cry, and I wouldn’t cry.

I sat there for a while, and after a bit I felt and heard a knock at the door behind me to which I responded with a moody “What” Khris responded “Sweetie…can I come in? I wanna make sure you’re okay…Ty told me you took a pretty good tumble.” I felt the red hot rage boiling back up but scooched away from my door and just muttered a soft “Fine….” Khris slowly walked in and looked at me before kneeling down and frowning “Is everything alright hun? This isn’t like you, even big you….” She sounded worried but I just pulled away “I’m perfectly fine…thanks.”

She sighed and sat down now, probably knowing she was in for the long haul as she gently took my hand “Honey, I know this is all a lot, and while we’ve had time to adjust, I know you haven’t. If you need to talk to us, you can hun, this has to be a lot, and especially being that we don’t know what’s going on in that little head of yours, we can only help you as much as you let us….” I pulled my hand away and curled up again “I don’t need help, I’ll be fine…” Khris frowned “Sweetie, we both know that’s not true.” I shrugged as I just sat there “My issue, not yours…I’m gonna go shower…get this dirt off me” I said, looking for any escape from her ‘mommy of the year’ act, though as I stood, I noticed something off, specifically around my crotch. I frowned as it felt…cold..clammy, though my shorts looked fine.

Khris seemed to notice my sudden stop too. “Everything okay sweetie?” She started to even make a move to check me probably as I pulled away and just muttered “I’m fine.” I walked out of the room and towards the bathroom, hearing Khris walking out behind me, but stopping in the hall. I made my way into the bathroom, quickly shutting and locking the door behind me before yanking my shorts down and feeling my undies, feeling the telltale squish of the padded undies, wincing I realized…not only was little me not potty trained yet…seems like that little bout made me have a bit of an accident, and not one that will go unnoticed, as I can’t throw these out like a pull up.

I sigh and slip my now soggy undies down, that being a problem for post shower Stephen as I pulled off my shirt and going to turn the water on, though struggling heavily to do so from outside the tub, just barely being able to turn the knob to the hot area. I got into the shower after it'd warmed up enough, grimacing at the tub toys hanging from mesh bags on the wall, knowing any other night I’d probably be ecstatic to play with those right now. I turned away from em and started to let the warm water run over me, sighing as I felt the stress seemingly start to melt away already, the dirt washing off my body. Some being from the garage, but most I suspect to be from daycare that day, we’d had an outing to the woods behind the school and I’d been getting into everything.

I washed my body with a soap bar I could only guess to be Ty’s, not that I really cared, though as it came to my hair I looked around for any shampoo, only finding the kids shampoo left low, making it easier to get me washed during my baths. I groaned, I was not using THAT, I already probably smell like a kid constantly, I wasn’t going to add onto it. I began to look around for some more mature shampoo, noticing it on a higher shelf and well out of my reach, but easy for any adult to get to and use.

I huffed a bit, crossing my arms before looking for a way to get it, realizing my only way would be to climb, though I knew it was probably not the best idea, it was better than using that childish smelling gunk. I began by stepping onto the edge of the tub, it wasn’t too slippery so it was easy to make my way around to the shelves, and start to pull myself up. This though, was my worst decision of the night, as when I tried to step up onto the lowest shelf, grabbing a higher one. I didn’t realize just how slippery they’d gotten from the steam and water falling on them.

It was over before it’d even started as I felt my hand slip first before my foot slipped off the lower shelf, sending my tumbling back towards the tub with a loud thud and a yelp. I winced, not hurt, least not badly, and I’d not hit my head on anything, though I’d fallen on my bottom fairly hard, I was surprised though when I heard the knob to the bathroom rattle, and then the door swung open, I thought I’d locked it….

I looked up as the shower curtain was pulled open and Khris was almost immediately at my side, not worried about the water as she immediately went to check me over. “Stevie, sweetie, are you okay? Are you hurt? What happened?” She seemed panicked as she looked me over, but I was mortified. Being completely nude in front of not just her, but I could see Ty behind her, holding a screwdriver and looking concerned. I pushed her hands away from me, blushing as I scrambled back up to my feet. “I’m fine, just…tried to get shampoo and fell.”

Khris frowned as she heard that “Sweetie, your shampoo is down here, you shouldn’t have to climb for it, you know how dangerous that is.” She said, scolding me like you would a small child which only made my embarrassment rise as I looked at her “I’m not gonna use stuff that’s gonna make me smell more like a toddler!” She looked surprised at me for raising my voice and frowned. “Well it’s what we normally use for you,it’s just oranges, nothing kiddie Stephen, you need to understand you can’t do everything like you used to…”

She stood and sighed, seeming satisfied with me not being hurt and…maybe even a bit hurt herself? I just went to pull the curtain closed as she seemed to linger for a few more seconds before walking out, shutting the door behind her and I could hear some talking behind the door. I sighed and gave a death glare to the bottle of shampoo with a smiling octopus on it before grabbing it and making quick work of washing my hair, huffing as I washed with the shampoo. It didn’t smell bad at all, though I don’t think I could ever admit that to Khris or Ty at this point.

I stood for a bit longer after washing and just let the water run over me before turning it off and stepping out, grabbing a towel and drying myself off, if there was one good thing about being this small, it’s that it was much easier to dry myself with just one towel. After drying I went to grab my clothes and noticed something that caused my blush to come right back…there was a fresh pull up sitting on my clothes, the sodden undies nowhere to be found.

I froze as I stared at it and didn’t know what to do. After a few seconds of hoping this was all a childish hallucination I slowly leaned down and picked up the crinkly garment, blushing as I sighed and slowly opened it up, stepping in and pulling it up, wincing a bit as I felt the plush interior of it hugging my crotch and bottom, before putting my shirt and shorts back on and going to walk out, probably with a bit more of a gate, though I was hoping it wasn’t too noticeable.

Upon walking out I heard the TV on, the local weather being read off as I smelled something being cooked, it smelled like something with tomatoes. I made my way into the living room, finding Ty on the couch who gave me a small nod as I just looked away before making my way to the kitchen, looking up at Khris who was currently over a steaming pot, stirring.

“Khris..?” I asked quietly “Yes Stephen?” “Where did those undies go..?” She gave me a small, almost annoyed look “Well, normally when Stevie wears those undies and goes in them, he tells me and we get him in a pull up for the rest of the day. I see that part doesn’t transfer over as much as the emotional outbursts do.” I blushed deep red as I looked at her “I…I didn’t mean to, I was gonna tell you but I didn’t even realize it happened, I think it happened when I fell off the stool…” I looked down, feeling like a child who’d just done something very bad.

Khris sighed a bit and looked down at me “Stephen, believe it or not, you’re not an adult anymore, and you need to accept we’re your legal guardians now. We know how to care for you, and we aren’t gonna make fun of you for anything you’d do normally, Stevie hasn’t mastered the potty yet and I know for a fact that means you haven’t either. You know that as well as I do, so you should’ve told me or let me check when you noticed it in your room” I just stared at her, she’d known the entire time, maybe it was my face, or my reaction?

I must’ve given the same tell as Stevie… I just stood there as she went back to stirring “Dinner will be done in about ten minutes, why don’t you go watch TV for a bit while I work on it?” I could tell by her tone she was upset, so I just nodded and shuffled my way out and to the couch as Ty looked at me and gave a small chuckle. Though it wasn’t one of laughing at me, more of understanding “Guessing her angry voice isn’t any different from when you were big huh?” I just shook my head quietly as he gently rubbed my back “Look bud, she’s just worried. I know you didn’t mean to blow up on me or her, but you gotta understand, we just want what’s best for you, and if you need help or for us to do something, you need to tell us”

I nodded slowly but scooched away from the back rubs, sitting back and watching the news, something about a local school doing a fundraiser for something. Though my thoughts weren’t focused on that, they were focused on my outburst from earlier, how childish it was, how close I was to a tantrum. It was odd, almost like I was slipping back into the Stevie mindset for a second there and for some reason it reminded me of a story I’d read early on into the virus’ outbreak.

It’d been about someone who, like me, was swapping between his adult and child mindset, though he was worse, swapping almost weekly, though that wasn’t the only odd thing about him. After around 3 months of this he suddenly just…stopped swapping, and seemed to level out. He knew all about his life as a chef and having a fair amount of his adult thoughts, though he seemed to also have more childish impulses and seemed like any other three year old. Unless you talked to him about food, then it was closer to a hyperactive toddler.

I began to wonder if this was what he went through, if he had started off by just having small tantrums here and there, maybe an outburst, then he just…slid down until he leveled out as a toddler. I probably looked lost in thought before I was pulled back out by Khris calling out “Dinner’s ready boys.” Ty stood up and smiled at me as I slowly got up, pushing my worries to the back of my mind for now as I walked into the kitchen, seeing Khris setting my spot.

I knew it was mine because of the booster seat covered in stickers that was sitting in the chair in front of the spot that Khris was setting, I shuffled slowly over and mumbled “Can’t I have a normal seat…?” Khris gave me another disapproving mom look, one I didn’t even need the rest of the answer for as I pulled myself up and sat in my booster, looking at the plate in front of me. Spaghetti with cheesy garlic bread, on a…what I believe to be a Bluey plate.

I slowly grabbed my fork and started to eat as Khris and Ty sat with their own plates and started to eat. Ty seemingly trying to break the tension with a “So…least tomorrow’s Friday right?” Khris gave him a bit of a look as she sighed “Yeah…speaking of, that means you do have to go to daycare tomorrow, okay Stephen?” I looked and frowned “But…I’m in my big mindset…do I really have to” Khris nodded at that “Yes, you do, especially after that fall tonight, I’m not trusting you to be home alone all day, let alone cook your own food”

I looked, trying to think of an argument…though she had me dead to rights with that, so I looked for another way “Can…Can I atleast be in a bigger kids room?” Khris shook her head “You’re in the oldest room you can be in at this daycare sweetie, and you know it’s not realistic to swap daycares when we don’t know when you might just swap back to Stevie.” I nodded again and looked down at my spaghetti, slowly eating it as I mumble softly “Sorry…I just…don’t want you guys to think I’m still some…needy kid.” Ty looked at me this time “Bud, we know you’re not, but we also recognize you still have physical limitations, you’re not very big, even for a four year old. The doctor was worried you were younger than we’d thought given we couldn’t get ahold of your family, but everything else developmentally pointed to a four year old. We just need you to trust us and let us help you, even if you’re an ‘adult’.”

I nodded slowly at that and just slowly ate, trying my best to keep myself clean as the two actual adults at the table moved the conversation into talks of weekend plans. After a bit of chatter about something to do with going to the local mall for some new clothes for me, Khris turned to me, seeming in a better mood as she smiled “Hey…why don’t we watch a movie tonight. We’ll even let ya stay up a bit late, as long as you promise you’ll wake up good for us, you can pick the movie too, okay sweetie?”

I looked up and perked up a bit hearing I got to pick it, there was so many movies that came out while I was little that I’ve not gotten to see yet. It would be hard to pick just one to watch, but I nodded quickly. “Yeah!” I finished up eating and quickly went to climb out of my chair, rushing to the living room as the other two chuckled at my sudden reversion to a childish excitement over a movie. Though I was already flipping through the movies, coming to the horror section with a smile.

I selected a newer movie, Scream 6, it having come out during my last bout of being little. I’d been told no to watching it on more than one occasion, but now I’d surely have free reign of being able to watch it. Khris and Ty finished up their dinners and Khris walked out, looking at me with a soft smile before looking at the TV and giving a bit of a worried grimace. Looking back at me she asked “You wanna watch that tonight?” I nodded quickly and smiled as she gave a small sigh.

She wasn’t big on horror movies, but often did it for me, and tonight she knew she’d given me the choice, and there was no way to talk me out of it. She nodded as I heard Ty already getting the popcorn out and putting it in the microwave, I decided to try my luck at something else “Can…I have a pop too? I haven’t had one in a while.” Khris looked at me and looked unsure “Sweetie…your little body can’t handle that much sugar, nor the caffeine…but…I’ll think about giving you some. I don’t need you getting a sugar rush before bed.”

I smirked, it was a small victory, but a victory nonetheless. She stepped back into the kitchen as I got the movie ready. I could feel the excitement welling up in my body, and I even let a small giggle out, but quickly quelled it, knowing it was the childish emotions pushing their way to the surface again. Ty brought out a big bowl of popcorn and set it on the coffee table in front of the couch as Khris brought out drinks, two obviously alcoholic drinks for them, and something in a sippy cup for me. My excitement died down almost immediately upon seeing the childish cup, decorated in Bluey designs, probably came in a set with the plate.

“Khris…I don’t need a sippy cup, I’m grown right now” She gave me a stern look this time “And I just cleaned the floors yesterday, last thing they need is orange pop staining them” she said as she set the cup in front of me,I couldn’t exactly argue with that, she’d given me the pop I’d wanted, but on her terms so…I guess small victories again? I took the sippy and drank from it, feeling the carbonation sizzling into my mouth and down my throat mixed with the immense sweetness from the pop, something my little body wasn’t used to…but something my little body absolutely loved at the same time, it was like stimulation in a cup.

We started the movie soon after and I watched, entranced as it started with a fake out opening, sipping my pop and eating popcorn by the not so big handful. Khris sat on her phone, not enjoying these movies in the slightest, but Ty seemed just as invested as me, or atleast acting like he was. This continued for roughly an hour, my sippy nearly empty of the sweet soda I’d been given and the popcorn running low already as I began to feel the consequences of my actions. I started feeling that familiar twinge in my bladder, letting me know it was time to go, but being mid movie I didn’t wanna miss anything nor ask for a pause. So I sat and watched, thinking I could easily make it to the end of the movie.

I started to squirm a bit and that wasn’t lost on my two caretakers as Ty looked over at me “Everything okay? Got ants in your pants?” I glanced back “I’m fine, just, nervous…yeah” I tried to calm my wiggles down though only a few more minutes had passed and that twinge had turned into an urge, causing me to cross my legs as Khris looked at me and in a very mom tone asked “Stephen…do you need to go potty?” I gave her a side eye as she looked at me and just muttered a soft “...No” She sighed a bit as she went to reach for the remote to pause it, just as a small jumpscare popped onto the screen. One of the first in the movie, causing her to let a yelp out and me to jump…though that momentary lapse in control led me to feeling the warmth spreading slowly across the front of my pull up, and my two carers hearing the unmistakable hiss of an accident in progress. I tensed as I realized fully what I was doing, the movie paused as Ty looked at me and let out a soft “Oh buddy…” I whimpered a bit, as Khris quickly got up “Stephen…why didn’t you say anything? We can pause the movie ya know.” I looked down as the hissing stopped and just sat in disbelief at what I’d just done, feeling the warmth sit around my waist “I..I thought I could hold it”

Khris looked at me “And as I told you earlier, Stevie isn’t fully potty trained, and neither are you, it seems you even less so at this point because at least Stevie tells me when he needs to go.” I winced at the words being flung at me, looking down still as Khris in one swift motion scooped me up and carried me to my room, Ty looking embarrassed for me as I was carried by. I didn’t even fight it at this point, as I was in too much shock to know what to even say or do as Khris set me down and pulled my shorts down, before tearing the sides of my pull up and letting it fall to the floor.

Grabbing a wipe and warming it with her hands as she looked at me “Stephen, I know you want to be a big boy, but you’re not, you’re four, and right now, you’re even acting like a four year old. You should’ve said something, we’re not gonna get mad or tease you for it, you’re still learning.” She started to clean me as my lip trembled a bit and all I could manage was a shaky “Sorry…” as I tried to fight back the tears welling up inside me.

The shame of having an accident mixed with my childish emotions and the urge to prove I’m big was all getting to be too much and threatened to spill over, especially with Khris being so upset as she finished cleaning me. She grabbed a fresh pull up and held it open for me as I shakily stepped in, still barely holding it together as I let soft whimpers out. Khris looked up at me and gently pulled me into a hug “Sweetie…I’m not mad…I just wish you’d understand. You’re not that big Stephen the race car driver anymore, you’re Stephen the four year old, you’re learning still and just getting your fresh restart into the world, and you’re not nearly at the level you were.''

I looked at her as I felt the tears start to flow and I started to sniffle out “B…But I’ve…I’ve gotta be big, I’ve gotta show everyone I’m old enough s..still I…” I sniffled more as Khris just rubbed my back “Shhh…sweetie, being big isn’t doing everything alone…being big is knowing when you need to ask for help…and knowing when to let yourself take that help, like right now. I don’t see a big boy who can do everything like superman, I see my little boy, who’s had a rough night of trying to be a big boy and needs his mommy for a hug and a kiss”

I listened to her as my tears grew to be too much as I let out a soft whimper before the water works truly started, starting to openly cry into her shoulder as I felt the tears rush down my cheeks. The loud cries barely muffled by Khris’ body as I heard something, probably Ty in the hall and felt Khris shake her head before I felt myself being lifted again. Letting my emotions flow as I was carried back to the living room, Khris sitting on the couch with me held in her lap, I didn’t care I was in just my pull up and shirt right now. I didn’t care how childish I looked crying into Khris, my emotions and body knew I needed to let this out, and at this point there was no stopping it as I just cried into her.

I don’t know how long it went on, but soon I felt myself calming down, whether it be due to the back rubs, the rocking or my tears finally running out, I wasn’t sure. I felt myself slowly coming back into focus, softly hiccuping and breathing as my powerful emotions subsided in favor of a post cry tiredness. Khris looked down at me in her lap and just gently kissed the top of my head and helped me calm down before softly asking “Do you want to finish your movie?”

I nodded slowly as I laid on her and she smiled “Okay…we’ll finish it, if you need to potty, you let me know okay? And after it’s bed time.” I just nodded again as Ty started the movie back up, sitting close but not too much so as the movie continued, going on for roughly another hour or so, filled with a few scares and an end scene that filled me with nostalgia for the original movies. I remembered my first time watching the first movie with my brother after he snuck it in the house. How I was hooked from there, through the ‘bad’ and ‘good’ movies, and how for two halloweens I went as a ghostface because I was just that obsessed. I smiled a bit as it slowly came to an end, knowing I’d get a second chance with those memories.

Though as it ended and the credits rolled, I could feel the tiredness taking over as I rubbed my eyes, it’d been a long day for sure, and the sudden crying hadn’t helped my case of needing to stay up. This didn’t slip past Khris either as I heard her lean whisper to Ty “I’m gonna put him to bed, you pick something” before she slowly lifted me up and carried me to my room once again. This time carrying me to my bed and laying me slowly down, smiling softly. “Alright, it’s time for you to get your rest, you’re already up well past your bedtime, and I’m hoping I don’t regret it tomorrow morning.”

I just tiredly nodded as she gently tucked me in, smiling as she sat on the edge of my bed, gently combing through my hair with her fingers. “Thank you for being such a big boy tonight and letting that cry out, some ‘big boys’ still don’t know how to do that, like the big lunk on the couch out there.” I let a soft giggle out at that as she leaned down and kissed my forehead “Sleep well Stephen…I’ll wake you up in the morning, if you need anything, you know where our room is.”

She slowly stood, smiling still as she turned on what looked to be a nightlight, projecting a starry sky onto my ceiling and playing soft, almost twinkling music, next to it she turned on what looked to be a baby monitor before flicking the lights off. “Sweet dreams” She said as she stepped out into the hall, shutting my door and leaving me with only the soft music and the stars gently spinning above my head. I didn’t get to watch them long though, as I felt my eyes start to flutter not even a minute after, the tiredness from the emotional night and the fact my body was used to a certain bedtime made it hard to keep myself awake. I felt myself slowly drifting off as I watched the big dipper silently glide over me, barely letting out a yawn as I felt the inky blackness of sleep take hold.

#age regression #mental regression #abdllittle #pull ups #ab/dl diaper #diaper regression

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