#new money fits the whole arrogance bit... but old money would be so funny considering everything about him

[sometimeswritingsometimesdying]

rich people are crazy which is why i need more of aiden's escapades. i know he was running around europe with some boy he barely knew. i know he has HEARD the drama first hand from personal assistants and rich boys and butlers. i know he knows which affairs each ceo in the fence universe has got going on. that is a man that could threaten blackmail!!

[ohjohnno]

Outrageous Fortune Reviewcap: S1E08 (”My Dearest Foe”)

Well, now I see why I didn’t remember what happened in this episode. The answer, it turns out, is nothing much. This isn’t technically a filler episode - a couple of important new characters are introduced, and a plot thread is introduced at the end that will continue through just about the whole rest of the show - but the actual events of the episode are mostly inconsequential. Accordingly, I won’t spend too much time on ‘em here.

The first plot concerns Cheryl, who has now taken up a job at an insurance company. Nobody except her is especially happy with this - insurance companies, we’re informed, are “the scum of the Earth” - but Cheryl seems to like it. 

Things, alas, are not as they seem. The branch Cheryl works for turns out to be running a neat little scam, the girls there all approving each others’ bogus insurance claims; the boss lady, Penny, has been overseeing it thus far, but is looking to move on and wants Cheryl to be her replacement. She only hired her, it turns out, because of who she was, and Cheryl is quietly exasperated; no matter how she tries, she can’t seem to outrun her past. Penny also suggests that another reason she hired her was because she thinks of her as a kindred spirit in having been victimized by a terrible man; Cheryl’s not overly enthused with that suggestion either.

After a little deliberation, she turns down the offer. Penny didn’t expect that, and now fears that she’s told Cheryl enough to make her a threat; she tries to ship her off to a different branch in a place called “Pakuranga” (apparently way off elsewhere in Auckland). Cheryl, feeling betrayed, indulges in a bit of the old family tradition and steals her car, pawning it off to pay some maintenance bills; Penny fires her, and that, one might think, would be the end of it. But Penny, in a fit of pique, calls the cops on Cheryl over a stolen item she spotted in their house one time, and after an incredibly bored visit from Judd and Hickey (who have much better things to be doing), she pays Penny another visit, telling her in no uncertain terms to leave her the fuck alone before she has her friends rob the pants off her and everyone else in the office. Penny backs down.

“For your information, I’m nobody’s victim,” she tells her. Hmm. No comment.

The other main plot concerns Pascalle, and there’s barely anything there. She gets a call from the modeling agency she got registered at before she left the strip club, and they’re considering her for a charity shoot about animals. While in the waiting room, she bumps into a girl named Chantel Lazenby, a fellow model with the agency who also used to be a schoolmate. She used to be very fat, apparently, but she certainly isn’t anymore, and Van is of the belief that she’s “a dyke” (mostly because she rejected his advances once). What follows is an extremely low-stakes rivalry between the two as they both attempt to get the modelling job, mostly involving Pascalle and Chantel having a couple of glorified drinking contests and a few silly lesbian jokes. Eventually, Chantel is successful, and Pascalle is left in the dust, bitterly assuring herself that “Chantel was fat once, and you can’t escape genetics.”

That’s really it, as far as plots go. Doesn’t sound like enough to fill up an episode, does it? Well, it really isn’t - and it doesn’t. The rest of the episode is filled, mostly, with little things; interactions between various characters that have little plot significance but are fun to watch anyway. They’re the meat of this episode, and they make it a lot more likable than such an inconsequential episode really has any right to be.

For a start, Loretta - perhaps thanks to the success of her atrocity last episode - is in the very best mood we’ve ever seen her in the show so far; she’s bubbly and perky, grinning constantly, cracking jokes at everyone’s expense at the speed of light while making herself a constant nuisance for Cheryl, and, as much as I kinda hate to admit it considering what a monster she’s proven herself to be, she is absolutely delightful. We also learn that she’s one of those film nerds who considers Showgirls to be an underrated masterpiece, although she might just be teasing Van there.

There’s a running joke involving a big wooden cuckoo clock that Van (at Loretta’s behest) bought Cheryl for her birthday; it’s an ugly old thing, and it turns out to be stolen (not surprising, since Van bought it from Eric), and Cheryl hates it, which of course means Loretta completely loves it, repeatedly putting it back up on the wall every time Cheryl takes it down. “It’s a battle of wills,” she says, and it’s both hilarious and kind of oddly adorable. Also, lest we forget, Loretta having the idea to get Cheryl a present in the first place is significant - there’s a heart in there after all, it turns out, even if it behaves very strangely sometimes.

We also learn that she used to be great at Irish dancing, which will eventually be important (though not for a very long time). Elsewhere, we find Ted dealing with the fallout from last episode in his own way: poker, at the Wests’ dining table. He’s joined, over the course of the episode, by Munter (which is significant, since that makes this the first time he’s done anything plot-wise that isn’t related to Van), Eric (who’s still upset over Cheryl leaving the crime business), a new character called Falani (a very large, very crooked Samoan mechanic who will become a major supporting character eventually, and who also fixes Cheryl’s car this episode), and eventually Rochelle (who you may remember from episode four). It’s pretty high-stakes for them - they’re all playing for money - but it’s very low-stakes for the viewer, and it is also, possibly, the best part of the entire episode. 

Nothing much happens because nothing much needs to. It’s oddly relaxing to watch, actually; just a bunch of nice, simple jokes about an odd cast of various bogans playing poker against each other, subtly revealing things about themselves in the process. Falani goes on lengthy monologues about his skill at making love to his wife, but proves markedly less skilled at the patient, analytical art of the game; Munter is remarkably laid-back, enjoying softly making fun of Falani’s bad luck perhaps more than the game itself; Eric is perpetually grumpy, except when he disappears into the West bathroom and decides, for some reason, to try on some of Pascalle’s moisturizer (possibly thinking it’s Cheryl’s), which is hilarious; Rochelle is arrogant and remarkably skilled. But none of them are as good as Ted, who cleans them all out with aplomb, rarely speaking or changing his facial expression. “I feel much better now,” he says to Cheryl at one point; Cheryl isn’t so enthused with all these bums lazing around her house, but she can see his point.

Ted, at one point, has a one-on-one chat with Cheryl, noting with neither praise nor condemnation how the Wests “have never been much good at what you might call actual jobs”. We’ll see how that statement ages. Wolf turns up just long enough to justify Grant Bowler’s paycheck, his scene pretty much pointless except for how funny it is; he baked her a birthday cake, apparently, but when a car failure prevented her from arriving at the prison to pick it up “it got eaten”, and now he doesn’t want to talk about it, moping like a teenage boy behind the prison desk. 

There’s two sides to this show, basically, and this episode is the lighter one. It’s all very low-stakes and very whimsical, and if that means nothing much of consequence happens, well, that’s okay. We get to see the three West children who still live at home laughing and having fun with each other, their lives all mostly tranquil for once, giving us something of a control group for when things start to go wrong. We see the West household in a moment of peace, nothing particularly awful happening to it, nothing calamitous getting in the way of the atmosphere. It’s nice. I like it.

There’s one more thing. In this episode, we’re introduced to Kacey, an old friend of Cheryl’s with “shit taste in blokes” (her words) and a passion for designing undergarments. She talks, at first, of starting up a business, and eventually, having lost her latest job, Cheryl agrees to join her in her venture. The results from this pairing will last a very long time indeed, and Kacey will end up becoming an extremely significant character. That’s all yet to come, though.

This episode also has possibly my favorite ending to any of the less important Outrageous Fortune episodes ever. If you’ve seen it, you know what I’m talking about. Man, this show could be funny when it wanted to. And here, for the most part, that’s all it wants to do. There’s nothing wrong with that at all. After the last episode, it’s nice to have a breather. As I recall, actual important stuff kicks in again next episode. I will see you then.

[checanty]

so two questions (love your work for the record. you've become one of my primary inspirations over the years! thank you for exposing us to your talent :D ) with the issues surrounding social media at the moment - cancel culture, censorship, algorithm issues etc. How do you feel this is currently affecting current and upcoming talent? Do you think it will get better or worse and why? for my second question - how can one have a relatively humble career in freelance without the social media fame?

Thank youuu!!

Okay, okay, question one: First up regarding the censorship I can’t really say very much since I’m not doing any photography with nudity or any pornographic artwork. I know non sexual artistic nudety does sometimes get flagged, but usually those decisions get gevised if you ask. It’s annoying, but nothing career deciding. I also started sharing my artwork on a website where pornographic (and gore) content was always inaccessible to minors, so this whole thing doesn’t seem particularly outlandish to me. You’ll find your audience, but have to sell ‘under the counter’, you know? Cancel culture on the other hand … it doesn’t really affect me because I’m not usually spreading my opinions far and wide on the internet and my artwork isn’t exactly divisive. Now back in my youth on Animexx (that German website with the adult filter. Where every artwork you uploaded had to be approved by a human being by the way.) I did write and post some questionable things. Hell, I did a whole comic based on a super cringeworthy premise which was rather ableist and contained at least one rape joke. There’s a reason you won’t find it on the internet anymore. I didn’t see it as problematic when I was 15, despite people gently trying to explain to me why it was (In hindsight I understand and am grateful for those folks. But they were patient. they were adults talking to a child. You know.) There’s a lot of stuff I thought was cool and edgy at 15 or even 18 that would make me take a serious double take nowadays. I’d like to think I’ve grown since then. I’d like to think I’m still growing and I’m very aware that a lot of what I think now might have to be seriously re-evaluated a few years from now. Heck, sometimes I catch myself saying stuff and realize it’s messed up a second later.So I’m a bit afraid for young artists out there getting torn apart over stupid (and also harmful) things they say and create. Or artists getting torn apart other stuff they said or created years ago. Like, call them out, yes. but. People can grow. Especially teenagers are not exactly the product of an environment of their choice. It took some depression and alienation (it was horrible, but also, ah, character building?) from my friends to realize some of their jokes were not actually funny and being a sadist is not a cool thing to call yourself. Like the human brain isn’t done rewiring until your mid to late twenties. Let people evolve.  On the other people growing up more involved in social media and ‘cancel culture’ might be used to being smarter about what they say and maybe also a tiny bit less ignorent because they have reason and all the options to educate themselves? There are a lot of pretty amazing teens around. Maybe I was just super slow. (Sometimes I try to imagine being on Tumblr earlier in life and it’s usually a mix of ‘I would have been a better person and all those mental health resources would have helped me so much’ and ‘Nah, I was a brat and would have been eaten alive.’ It’s kind of like people are complicated.)Algorithm issues are horrible, they’re even making a difference for established artists who rely on social media to sell their stuff. BUT. If people do great work and share it, it usually still ends up getting seen.Also, it’s all already different from when I started out. If I was 18 years old today I might look at this ancient 25 year old lady and tell her to stop whining because she can’t deal with all that modern stuff. I don’t want to underestimate the young folks. They’re often underestimated. (Yes, I think teenage me was often horrible and stupid and arrogant, but in other matters pretty smart and actually funny and capable. It’s like you can be a lot of things. Like I’m still all those things and others.)I have no idea what is going to happen. I guess it can always get worse. But if it does get worse we don’t really need to bother with the social media for promotion any more and can go back to blogging on our websites again.It’s doubtful Zuckerberg is going to make Facebook or Instagram ‘better’ again. If anything there’s probably be something new. I mean Patreon and Twitch are already kind of new developments and they work great for some folks! That’s lot of income they wouldn’t have had otherwise! There’s always some good, some bad happening. You get what you get and then figure out to make it work for yourself :/I’m going to let this stand as an answer to your first question because I can already feel myself contemplating in the back of my mind if I actually agree with myself on everything said so far. It seemed right at the time! I’m not doing this ‘opinions on the internet’ game very much for a reason :DQuestion number 2: THIS IS EASY!First up, you can have a great career in freelance without social media fame. Not speaking from experience, but it’s possible. (’fame’ I consider something like 100k plus Instagram/FB or anything followers)Social media fame is important in two cases: When you make most of your money selling small products (say prints, books, but also membership stuff like Patreon) and need to reach a huge audience to sell enough to live on. (because maybe 5% of your audience actually buys things.) And when you actually want to make money being an influencer. There are times where clients hire you as an illustrator AND some sort of influencer because they want to make use of your fan base, but that’s like back in the old days when a famous artist gets hires because they’re already well known to the fans/bring their own fans to the product. That would be a nice position to be in, but it’s not exactly standard procedure.When you’re a freelance illustrator you’re not selling small things to a huge audience. You want a few hopefully high paying jobs. Most clients hire you because you’re good and reliable and fit their budget. They need the art. Not your fans. They don’t care about your fans.And you know, most social media followers will not want or be able to hire you for a 300,00-10.000,00 USD (or more. I guess if you go into advertising you can get more.) job. You need to be more selective. Do the networking thing. Be seen by the right people. How? Well, do your research! Look at who might need your work and send them nice e-mails, postcards, whatever. Have a nice portfolio website. If they’re part of a community, become part of that. Now, social media are still useful for let’s say art directors to find you. But having a small artists all working in the same genre as you do the chances that if they share your work an AD also working in the same genre might be following *them* and see your artwork like this is much higher than if folks not in the ‘business’ share your work even if there is a higher number of them. It’s quality vs quantity thing. One reason I like Twitter is because a lot of writers hang out there. Writers might not be responsible for chosing cover artists (most of the time), but self publishers are. And do like doing cover artworks for self publishers. And writers are friends with other writers and other artists and editors and publishing people and so on and so on. So no, no social media fame needed to succeed, BUT try to be known in the right circles. And be nice and reliable so people hire you again and tell their friends. It happens.  Also, yes I’m definitely procrastinating right now. I should be working on the table of contents for my mermaid book.

[praphit]

My Avengers Family vs my new Man Crush

10 years and 18 movies. Let me say that again - 10 (bleepin) years and 18 (bleepin) movies! - it has all led up to this INFINITY WAR.

We've been watching Thanos leaning back on his chair, and poking his head out of the shadows to threaten everybody for a while now. After all of these movies, the Avengers feel like family to me. Think about it - some of us have probably spent more time with The Avengers than our own flesh and blood. I thought about this even more as I was looking at their red carpet photos:

Uncle Tony Stark, the screw up. He was an asshole when we first met him, and now he's still an asshole, but he's our asshole. When he's not screwing things up, you kinda want to be just like him, right??

The Hulk - everyone has someone in the fam that has anger issues. You know?? - when you invite your friends around them, you have a list of topics that you hand your friend, so they don't bring it up. And your friend looks at your list and is shocked that it's a list of 35 topics. "Don't bring any of these topics up, and if he speaks any of these to you, RUN!" But, we've learned to admire his outbursts.

Captain America!

Capt is like the zealot in the family, who has his passions and beliefs fail him... only to rebel, grow out his beard and hair... and lurk in the shadows... lookin damned good while doing so. As I'm typing this, I realize that I have a lot in common with Capt. I always thought I was more like Black Panther, but... it might be Capt. How bout that??

 - Btw, can we still call him Capt? I mean he's a fugitive now and he's not a leader of the Avengers anymore, so... Mr. America? - though America has kind of betrayed him. He's simply Steve Rogers. *sigh* I do hope that before his story ends, we'll be able to call him Captain America again.

"Let's take a moment to remember earth's mightiest heroes:

Thor, God of Thunder!

The Incredible Hulk!

And... STEVE."

Black Widow.

I wonder if she is proud of her journey as a woman in this movie? There was just Black the beginning (who most simply viewed as sex object). Now, she has everyone's respect, she might be getting a movie (her character anyway), and all of these ladies are with her. Of course, it'd be funnier if she had a huge ego about it. "Hold up now! Hold the (bleep) up! Danai stole my scene again. I know you were a big deal on "The Walking Dead", but don't get cute, ok?? And that goes for all of you! I'm still Queen Shit around here! And don't you bitches forget it (with snaps on that last sentence)!"

Then there's Thor - I didn't like him at first, but he has grown on me too. As pretty as he is (and he is pretty. As far as the Marvel Universe is considered, he might be earth's prettiest hero), he was so arrogant and... just as much of an asshole as Iron Man when you think about it - he just speaks fancier.

They're all on the wrong side of the asshole spectrum when you think about it. Hmmm... But, I guess that's also like family. Nobody really changes. Every few years or so they repackage the same ol bs, and you do too.

Family is a beautiful thing.

Some other pics I thought were funny on the red:

Alison Brie, who will be playing Captain Marvel.

I don't know what her facial expression is saying. Either someone farted near her or she has a wedgie.

There's Angela Bassett, who looks lovely.

She also looks like she's being accused of something. "Me?" Maybe she's being accused of farting. 　

Although this pic below says "It was me (quiet evil laugh)."

Then of course my friends from Wakanda.

I've been thinking to myself, what if the top dog at Marvel (I'm thinking a stereotypically old, racist, white man who's stuck in his ways --- whenever I think of this type, I think of Colonel Sanders for some reason

... anyway) sat down to meet with the Marvel producers and said

"Look, I let you create that asshole Tony Stark. I was ok with that hippie Thor, and I even let you spend all that money animating The Hulk, but now you're empowering all of these women and negros - what hell are y'all doing?! Wait, they made us how much money? Well, alright then! Send them some complimentary buckets of fried chicken and some tampons, and tell them to keep making me that money!"

Aaaaaah I know that's messed up, and yet... :)

I know what you're thinking - "John Praphit, quit foolin around and get to the review!"

Ok, so I can't say much without spoiling anything, cuz there's a lot going on in this movie, and any little bit could give something away. But, I can talk about a few things:

First of all, the main character - Thanos!

It really is his movie. He's the the type of villain that will make you at least stop and think. He believes that his way is actually making things better for everybody; not unlike Magneto (let's get the upperhand on the humans while we can) or Killmonger (pretty much... let's kill everyone who poses a threat, especially whitey). Those two go too far in their execution, but they make some good points.

Thanos, not only makes good points, but his execution kinda makes sense too. Thanos looks at worlds and says, "These planets are dying and the people thereof are miserable due to increasingly limited resources, sooooo let's wipe out half of the people." It make sense... a lot of our probs are caused by overpopulation. I'm just sayin. I found myself conflicted in this movie. I know Thanos is evil. I know his plan is... you know... but is it?? I still don't know.

Plus, he's so glorious. The body of The Rock, the fighting intensity of Ronda Rousey, the boldness of Trump (just his boldness... I repeat JUST HIS BOLDNESS), the mind of Plato, and the showmanship of Diddy. It does sound like I admire him doesn't it?? - I know he's the villain, but...

...

What's easier - move to Mars? or wipe out half of the human race? Wow... that's awful. I really am confused. Let's move on.

That's the movie. Thanos and his plan vs The broken Avengers and friends.

There are two complaints I've been hearing on the streets:

#1 - there's too much going on in this movie

Personally, I disagree, but I see that side of things. This movie is 90% fighting, and there are so many characters (from all of the movies) to give shine to. If you haven't seen this movie yet, keep in mind that it's more of a climax to all of the movies than it is a movie on its own. There's not a lot of developement of characters or story, but that's because all of that was done in the last 18 movies.

It's like if you see two people in a bar fight, and all you know about them is that someone stole something of value from the other; that's all you need to know to understand to invest in the fight. You'd be more emotionally involved if you had more details, but you don't NEED it at this point, especially if you're simply a fan of action.

I, like others, wish the movie put more time into dialogue between certain characters and their issues, but I also understand that there's not time - the world is coming to an end. If you just found out that... idk, your mistress is pregnant... and is also a man... and also your... brother/... sister? - and then all of a sudden zombies break into your home - there's obviously a lot to unpack there ( and a good tv show I think), but there's no time; you've got to deal with the zombies first.

#2 - the ending is grim

Annnnnd it is. BUT, keep in mind that it's part 1 of 2. And honestly, what other ending would you expect? None of the Avengers and friends have ever faced anyone as powerful as Thanos, and they don't have time to think of a solid plan; not to mention there really is no "Avengers" right now. The whole time I'm watching the movie, I'm thinking to myself "They have no chance at all."

It would be like Lebron James playing basketball against toddlers (another great show idea). The toddlers have NO CHANCE. Lebron will just dunk and dunk and dunk some more; just shaking all of the toddlers off of him.

I LOVED this movie! I understand the complaints, but those points didn't bother me. Like I said, it's a whole lot of fighting, but these are some of the best fighting sequences that we've seen in these Marvel movies. We've also got all of the best from the other movies: the design of "Dr. Strange", the humor of "Guardians", the wit of "Iron Man", and straight up awesomeness of "Black Panther". Plus, like I said, it's family - the gatherings can be a literal fight and you never want to spend more than two to three hours with them, but at the end of the day, you think to yourself... "that was entertaining."

The CG is amazing, especially when it comes to Thanos. They got a great actor in Josh Brolin to make us feel for Thanos. The movie has a good bit of emotional moments in general. I think that the more invested a person is in these last 18 movies, the more that person will appreciate this movie. It's also marvelous that they could make all of these movies fit together, and have all of these characters come together at all.

Grade: A

I still can't figure out what I think about Thanos' plan. I know that my Avengers family is right, but... I just wish everybody could talk it out. Maybe this whole movie could have taken place in a Chipotle - Just burritos and deliberation.

I know it seems like genocide, but it could ALSO be looked at as a rapture - you blink and certain people will simply be gone. We "rapture" half of the planet for the greater good. It's kinda righteous, right?? No? I know. I don't know what's going on with me. Luckily, we have another movie coming our way for me to get my head right and I can't wait! 　

[jj-ktae]

Hotel California (1/2)

Title : Hotel California

Pairing : Mark x Reader

Genre : Fluff, Romance

Summary : Mark is a night-shifts receptionist in his own hotel and it sucks, until one of his client turns up to be a pretty, annoying girl.

PART I 

It was pure agony. The mere idea of pulling an all-nighter for the sole purpose of work was agonising. Even the old coppered clock’s hand was limping, showing the wrong hour and the time was almost passing in slow motion.

Mark groaned when the opening credits of Frasier made its way on the small and very old television set.

“Excuse me…?” He heard a voice and checked the black and white monitor, spotting a middle-aged man in a tuxedo, tapping the counter. He got up, the desk chair wincing and took a small key from the numerous ones hung up the wall.

“Here.” His steady voice announced nothing but absolute boredom.

“Thank you. Good night.” He smelled like cheap alcohol and not so performant sex, and Mark chuckled.

At some point, even tacky sex would be better than his life choices. The young man entered the small office and resumed to his previous activities. Oh, yes, Frasier.

There was a time when he refused to believe he was actually the owner of such a place. It’s not like he had a choice. His father was retired and too tired to take care of the hotel, and his mother never really cared about the place anyways. The two were now enjoying a good holyday, while he had to keep the place, like the dog he was.

Mark was barely 25. After thinking about career goals for a couple of years, he decided nothing was fit for him, claiming he had a family business to take over. It looked classy, and mostly cool, thinking about being his own boss.

The thing is that a lot of things can only be done by the boss, unless they want to pay for somebody to do it for them. Hiring more people meant earning time to enjoy life, but it also meant less money. Mark had then opted for a life at work with money, just like his dad had done.

The hotel was welcoming, except for the old furniture and way too plain decoration. It wasn’t a big one, but it was often full due to its closeness to downtown. Mark had tried changing stuff, but gave up when his father told him people only needed bed to rest, and not paintings and vases. He had a couple of employees, but the night shifts were left empty when the old man occupying the post retired: his father. He was a night owl, a damn old man staying up, probably watching Frasier without giving a single shit about life.

But Mark was giving way too many shits right now. He was plain bored, annoyed, frustrated and whatever was enough to express his unkind feelings.

One of the small red light on the wall biped and he felt torn. Being bored was a thing, but being disturbed at 3a.m. by room number 303 was something else. It was rare to be called at such late hours. He closed the little office’s door and made his way up, sighing when his eyes met the ugly green carpet covering the stairs.

Room 303 was a room rented under a society called A.G.Net and he knocked on the door, hoping he won’t walk in on people having sex, like it happened way too many times in his thrilling existence.

“I’m coming!” The voice was feminine and slightly tired, and a young woman in a dark blue pajama opened the door, leaving some room for Mark to enter. She looked barely older than him, and her glasses were giving adult vibes over the thin features, like a final touch to a naked cake.

“How can I help you?” He tried hiding the too interested tone in his voice and the woman raised a hand, showing the toilets.

“See for yourself.” She spoke and if it weren’t for her soft voice, Mark would have already turned away to finish his dear episode of Frasier. He casually entered the white tiled room and he couldn’t miss it.

Not when water was almost dripping from the toilet. His eyes closed and he suppressed a sigh.

“It’s clogged.” Her tone was icy.

He snorted.

“I figured this much.”

The woman looked falsely offended, and Mark got out of the room, in silence. He took his heavy keychain and opened the nearest maintenance closet, looking for a plunger. He was no professional in emptying pipes, but he could try. It’s not like he was the owner of the place and she was paying for a service she wasn’t enjoying, anyways.

“Does it happen often?” he tilted his body above the offensive toilet and started pushing the plunger in, when the woman spoke, tone merciless.

“No, not really.” He felt hair falling over his face, but he knew better than put a soiled hand on it.

“Also…” Her tone was more quiet and he coughed at the sudden smell of sewer, his hand creating deceptive sounds in the room. He stopped to look at her when he heard nothing more. She was trotting about, hands in front of her and eyebrows creased.

“I really…need to use the toilet.” She whispered, ashamed. Mark tilted his hand and almost let the plastic tool fall fully into the toilet, before regaining composure. It was funny how her whole appearance was driving him in, slowly.

“Well, I do have toilets in my office. Sounds good?” She nodded and he put the plunger down.

She followed his steps, whimpering from time to time “Do you think it’ll be okay by tomorrow? I don’t want my stuff flooded in drain water.” He walked faster.

“I don’t know.” He faked a polite tone “I’ll call a plumber first thing in the morning.”

The girl scoffed again and he stopped, her body almost bumping

She looked outraged “But, what if I need to use it again later?”

Mark rolled his eyes. What’s wrong with girls and their bladder?

“Well, no plumber will move at this hour. I have nothing better than this” He pointed his own toilets.

“God…I hope your manager will compensate my company for the trouble. I’m paying a lot already.” She breathed, annoyed by the situation.

This hotel was the cheapest for a whole week stay. She was supposed to sell her new software on computing servers, and she absolutely needed to get funds or her small investment would go to waste, just like her own career.

She should have taken over her parent’s chicken restaurant. Chicken doesn’t require sleepless nights in front of a computer and useless journeys around the country, like the hopeless fool she was.

Mark leaned against the wall “My manager can’t be responsible for a clogged toilet. Plus, he is currently providing commodities. I’m not sure he knows how much the toilet is worth in the total bill for a whole room.”

She hated his arrogant tone “He sure doesn’t know how you talk to your clients…” she spat.

Mark smirked, slowly “Oh believe me, he does.”

She opened the door, a look of defiance painting her delicate traits, and entered the immaculate and not clogged toilet.

Mark whistled slowly, waiting for the girl to finish and straightened himself as soon as she was finished.

The silence was awkward –at least, for him- and her feet made puffy sounds as she was heading back to her room in her fluffy slippers.

He laughed. 

——————————————————————————————-

“We got a complain” He heard when he came back the following night. His receptionist gave him a small note, neat and threatening.

Tonight was hell. The employee I talked to yesterday lacks common sense and respect. Also, the toilet was clogged.

His employee made a face.

“I think she is talking about you.”

Mark nodded, eyeing the note with mischief. “I lack common sense? Respect? I should have let her jump around with a full bladder or even pee in the bathtub.” He mused, not really annoyed by the small attack.

“This is why you should come dressed in a more suited attire. People would take you seriously, at least.” The old man was slowly scolding him, his finger waving toward his beige hoodie.

“Why should I wear a tuxedo when I’m working from 7pm to 7am? I’m not going to a banquet.”

The old man crossed his arms for a minute, before opening the office’s door.

“Yeah well…have a good night, boss.”

Mark waved.

——————————————————————————————-

French fries were the best night snacks. It was greasy, tasty and fabulous Mark thought, stuffing his mouth while playing on his phone. The night was quiet, just like his office, except from the noise coming from the device in his hands.

This wasn’t the busiest moment of the year, yet the hotel was full. He had a couple of reservations when he arrived and he was thankful not having to accept more people tonight.

He saw something move on the monitor and tore his eyes from his phone.

The girl from yesterday was standing there, waiting for him to give her the room’s keys. Mark was a bit too fast reaching for it and going out of the room to meet her bored face.

“Key?” She said, annoyed.

His expression went from excited to jaded. “Good evening to you too…number 303.” He didn’t put the key on the counter and her neat nails started tapping against it, impatient.

“Room 303, how considerate. I sent a note talking about how well treated customers are, with you.” She breathed, proud.

Mark nodded, brow raised. Oh she was even going to brag about it? “I know. You almost got me fired here…”.

Her expression instantly changed from annoyed to worried, but she kept her cool.

“Well…I wasn’t trying to…I mean I thought…You didn’t get fired, right?” She asked.

Mark smiled and she did her best keeping a straight face “Well, considering I’m still here, no I was not.”

“Oh then…good. I mean, anyways. Can I have my keys?” She insisted and he looked at it, in the palm of his hand.

“Sure. Here you go.”

She took it fast and this time, it was her heels echoing in the large hall.

He didn’t see her hidden smile.

——————————————————————————————-

Their third meeting was unusual. Mark was falling asleep on his office when he heard noises coming from the monitor. Most of the times, it was empty from 2 am to 6am but it was now 4 and somebody was going to wake him up for a bloody key, on a bloody Wednesday night.

He spotted the girl, along with a guy.

Mark took her key room and got out. She was barely standing up, her arm gripping the counter.

“Receptionist!” She giggled. “Keyyyys!” A wobbly hand raised toward him and Mark made a face, surprised by her drunken state.

“Here you go.” He said and put it directly in her hand. The man was holding her and he smirked at him.

“And… your room is…?” Mark asked the man who slowly blinked, before shaking his head.

“Same room!” The girl added and Mark shook his head.

He had been the witness of many one night stands. Saturday nights were hell because of that, and he couldn’t count the number of times he saw ‘couples’ enter his hotel to have a hot steamy night, before parting the day after, like it was nothing.

Once, he even saw a man run away, naked.

He shivered at the thought and she was already heading toward her room, while the man was holding her by the waist.

Before he could even think, his voice already echoed in the hall “Room 303!” He said, before the girl turned around, pissed.

“Whaaaat?” She almost fell and laugh when the man’s arm wrapped itself around her neck.

“Call…if the toilet is clogged again.” He finished. It was lame, very lame. Considering her state, how on earth could she understand the hidden message behind this? Also, why would she need him? She looked under good care.

Yet, she didn’t look like a girl who’d do it. A drunk woman was trouble, this he knew, but a drunk woman in a hotel with what seemed like a stranger was even worse.

The world was crazy and dangerous, even more for reckless girls away from their home for business.

She nodded, eyebrows raised and waved at him sweetly.

Mark went back to his office, already feeling restless.

——————————————————————————————-

“Psychiatrists are crazy people” Mark said to himself, his mind focused on another episode of Frasier. He was glancing from time to time on the wall, but she really wasn’t calling.

Maybe she was having a good time.

He sighed and started heading toward the little office lounge to grab some food. From what he remembered, there were croissant hidden somewhere for the customer’s breakfast.

He came back, mouth full when he noticed it.

The little red light from Room 303 was shining brightly.

Mark threw the croissant on his office and knocked his knee on the door while heading out, cursing the entire hearth while running up the stairs.

Wait, why was he so fast suddenly?

Mark knocked on the door, hands moist and head heavy with different scenarios.

“Coming!” He heard her voice and wondered if the toilet was not really clogged.

Her face appeared and her brows were creased, like her head was hurting. The man looked surprised, on the bed.

“Is there anything I can help with?” He felt triumphant. They were both still dressed.

“The…toilet.” She breathed, the smell of alcohol strong from her mouth.

He almost fled to the toilet and opened the door, followed by an anxious customer.

The toilet was clean as a whistle. Mark’s face turned toward her, then at the man on the bed and he saw her make a face, pleading.

Please…take him out. He could read and lifted a brow. Maybe he should let her handle this, just to make her pay for the way she treated him.

Or maybe not, he was way too pleased by the situation to do so.

“Oh..oh! This is bad! I have to call a plumber. RIGH NOW. Ha ha.” He acted poorly and the girl rolled her glossy eyes.

The man got up and Mark hurriedly closed the bathroom’s door, smiling.

Her drunken state noticed immediately how white and shiny his teeth were. Just like his smile.

“Isn’t there another available room?” The man was frustrated.

“Sorry, we’re full.” Mark emphasized the last word, enjoying this way too much.

“Damn it. I shouldn’t have picked you.” The man got up, his black jacket already in his hands and decided not to lose any more time with these two weird people.

“Oh god…I thought I’d never see the end of this…” The girl’s hand went to her face, rubbing it slowly.

Mark shrugged, hands going into his jean’s back pockets.

“This is counted as an extra service, but considering we treated you so badly and got you a dysfunctional toilet, I won’t peep a word to my manager and take it as a compensation.” He said, voice mocking and she raised her head, shocked.

“Excuse me?” Was this guy for real?

“Yes?” His innocent eyes looked at her, and she knew he had win.

“You shouldn’t talk like this to your customers!”

“Just say thank you and sleep, will you? You’re still drunk, number 303.” He added, tapping her shoulder and heading toward the door.

The girl scoffed, not believing it and looked at his back.

She hated how he was making her go weak on her knees.

Mark went back to his office, his smile not leaving his lips until he was able to reach home and crash like a bad of sand, exhausted.

——————————————————————————————-

“Here’s another note for you.” The receptionist said when Mark arrived the day after. He let his backpack fall on the floor and took the envelop.

I take back what I said. The services are okay. Thank you.

Mark smiled so wide his jaw hurt.

“What did you do now?” The old man asked, arms crossed over his chest.

“Nothing. I helped, like I always do.” He fakes innocence and the old man laughed.

“It’s a pretty girl, I saw her. She looked shameful.”

“She better be. Disturbing me in the middle of the night for a non-clogged toilet.” Mark smiled, putting the note into his pocket.

The receptionist was lost “I don’t understand, but then again, what’s the point with you. You have to wake up room 309 and room 310 at 6. I called a taxi for them. Don’t forget.” He concluded before waving.

Mark was walking on clouds.

——————————————————————————————-

He didn’t except to see her the same night, waiting for her key. He pressed pause in the middle of a Mario Kart heated race and headed out, her keys in his hands.

She was quiet “Key please.” Like a pouting child.

“Alone tonight?” He asked and she nodded, avoiding his gaze.

“Yes. You got the note I suppose. I won’t say it again.” She mumbled.

“I did. My boss was happy with me, thank you.” Mark leaned against the counter, playing with her keys.

“Good…then…I’ll head to bed.” She said and her stomach made weird noises. With such a shitty day, she had forgot to eat and was now regretting a lot of life choices.

So Mark decided to push his luck, just for tonight.

“I’m about to order some food, wanna join?” He proposed and the girl gulped, before shaking her head.

“I’m full.” Her stomach rumbled once more and he smiled, nodding.

“Full…yeah. I’ll just order pizza, it can’t be that bad hanging around with an arrogant receptionist.” His eyes searched hers and saw the tiny hint of a smile, which he gladly returned.

She was capable of acting shy, it seemed. And quite well, on top of that.

The young client saw him rush inside, and a couple of minutes later, a faint “Peperoni or Veggie, room 303?” made its way to her ears, from the dim room.

“My name’s not Room 303! And I want peperoni!” She barked, her thin fingers brushing rebellious strands of hair.

“Aye, ma’dam.”

PART II