#nevermind that I have to get up early tomorrow noo

[onceuponaladye]

.

[diaryofanaverageunicorn]

Sometimes, just give up.

Day 16

I successfully fell asleep around 4am. Sweet, sweet slumber... until about 8 when the sun decided to show up. Nevermind, nevermind... go back to speep... dreaming, dreaming, dreaming, drilling, drilling... WAIT WHAT? Drilling, drilling, fuck, fuck, fuck, what time is it??? oh fuck you and your fucking drill how do you even have a house... noo, I don't want to wake up I was supposed to sleep in, I am working today till 1 again, noooooo, shut up, stahp, I hate you and your endless DIYs... UGH. Fine. Cold. cofFEE, WHERE IS THE COFFEE?? Fuck it's Saturday. I put on the closest t-shirt, great, it's the cafe's merch, ah carp I hate it here... oh there goes the sudden burst of tears, great, great, perfect, my coffee isn't done but I ALREADY AM. What do you mean I've been awake for two and a half hours and have to leave in an hour?? I can't handle this... how sick do I have to be to skip today's shift?? No, no, I am working it, remember how low your last salary was?? And I had to work today cuz I messed up my counting so I moved my shift that coincided with the wedding I can't skip it. Gods, I'm going to get fired... No, no, I do a great job and they need staff, it'll be fine. Why doesn't mental health count as a sick day... well it does count as a sick day if you ask for it but I literally can't afford it I would be homeless... Ah great, we're back at dwelling on the capitalistic nightmare prison that we live in, great. Perfect. ARGH. I have to get my medication, so I have to leave half an hour earlier, *cries internally*, alright it's going to be fine, just breathe, there's sun out today! Fuck, it's -1 degrees. Never mind, still, sun, WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN CLOSED ARE YOU CRAZY I NEED MY MEDICATION??? Ah crap I'll have to get up early tomorrow, great I'll start the semester just right -- sleep deprived and on the edge of a mental breakdown... FIne whatever, I'll get it tomorrow morning it'll be fine. Oh okay I guess I'll be early for work. Ah nice, Selroti is here, nice, they're super sweet. Nice five minute catch up. The whole cafe is on fire jeezus christ why don't you people have homes?? my entire body is screaming at me in pain after TWO HOURS WHAT DO YOU MEAN ONLY TWO HOURS HAVE PASSED????? I can't, nope, I shan't, I refuse, I will cry and scream get me OUT OF HERE I CAN"T HANDLE THIS WHY DID YOU STICK ME IN THE KITCHEN I HATE THIS I WANT TO BE HOME I AM IN SO MUCH PAIN... wait, wait, wait -- how much pain am I supposed to endure while at work? do I have to be absolutely fucking incapacitated? Injured beyond a bandaid?? Throw up in front of everyone, or faint???? ARE THEY PAYING ME ENOUGH FOR ME TO STICK AROUND WHILE I'M IN SO MUCH PAIN????? FUCK NO THEY ARE NOT!

"I DON'T FEEL GOOD, I WANT TO LEAVE". Two hours later I was out. Instead of doing an 8 hour shift I did 6. Barely. A coworker tried to guilt trip/shame/pressure me into staying. Ah, how about no. I came home around midnight and here I am writing my blog about the day I had. Horrible. Did not enjoy it. Remember, no job is worth causing yourself pain. More than you have to. Any kind of pain. Especially if you're a burnt-out neurodivergent potato. Fuck 'em.

Goodnight,

M.

[taeyongdoyoung]

Halloween

Arabella did her usual make-up with the exception that she added some dark eyeshadow to the look. She pulled her black jeans on and decided to wear a bright red T-shirt along with them. Finally, she put on her white sneakers. And then, got on the subway to Charles's mansion. Once she arrived, he gave her a once-over.

"What?" she asked self-consciously.

"What are you supposed to be?"

"A regular college student?"

Charles giggled.

"Oh, so you ditch the fancy dress and the high heels and you think that's enough for a Halloween costume?"

Arabella shrugged.

"You don't have to be so mean. At least I bothered to come here. Judging by the looks of it, no one else is coming to your party."

Charles rolled his eyes and motioned for her to get inside.

"That's cause you're early, dumbass."

"Eh, well."

"Nevermind, you can help me with the refreshments."

Arabella frowned.

"Is that how you'd treat your other guests?"

"My other guests don't work for me. Come on, Lee and that sexy Swedish boyfriend of hers will be here any minute now."

Arabella sighed and got to work. As soon as they were done filling cups and carrying them to the tables, she was already feeling exhausted. Her exceptations differed gravely from the reality. When Charles had invited her to his party, this is not what she had in mind. Soon enough, the guests started arriving so Charles was busy greeting everyone, making small talk and showing them around. Naturally, he didn't have much time for Arabella. The hours passed by quickly, because she somehow managed to find interesting topics for conversation with Charles's guests. Eventually, people began to leave. A few of them told Charles "thank you" and "goodbye" themselves but most just left without saying a word or worse - by telling Arabella to send their regards to Charles. As if she didn't have enough bullshit to deal with already. Eventually, it was just the two of them. Arabella had anticipated Charles to ask of her to clean up, so she'd thought it wiser to stick around. Surprisingly, that is not what happened.

"You didn't have much fun, did you?" Charles asked drunkenly, dragging his words one by one.

"Twas alright," she answered and sat down on the couch next to him.

"Alright doesn't mean fun, munchkin."

She giggled and punched his shoulder gently.

"Don't worry about me. At least your guests had a blast."

Charles shook his head.

"You were supposed to be my guest as well."

Arabella simply shrugged. But apparently, Charles wouldn't let it slide.

"I want to make it up to you. But I don't know how. So, you'll have to tell me."

'Your undivided attention,' Arabella thought but of course, she couldn't actually say such a thing to his face.

"Don't make me clean up the consequences of the party," she joked, "Tomorrow, I'll be back as usual but you'll need a whole army to deal with this mess."

Charles chuckled lightly. Actually, he could snap his fingers and poof - the house would magically clean itself up. But of course, he couldn't actually say such a thing to her face - it would undermine her job. And Bella took such pride in it, he wouldn't want to hurt her feelings. Not yet.

"I can deal with it on my own, munchkin. Regardless, I wasn't going to ask it of you. You helped me enough with the preparations. You deserve a break. How about you take tomorrow off?"

Arabella beamed at the proposition. As much as she enjoyed seeing her boss's handsome face all the time, a day off sounded like a true dream come true. She had already caught up with her university assignments, so she could realistically use tommorow to have some fun. Maybe an afternoon at the mall or an evening on Netflix. Or even better - BOTH. Charles could already hear her excited thoughts. He was smiling back.

"Thank you! That would be great. I'm not sure if I deserve it, though."

"You do. But now that I think about it, I have a suggestion."

"What is it?" Arabella inquired nervously.

"No working on your day off...doesn't necessarily mean no Charles."

Arabella laughed. She loved it when he referred to himself in third person. It was absolutely hilarious.

"You want to spend your day off with me?" Charles offered boldly, already predicting her answer.

Arabella put a hand on her heart.

"It would be an honour."

“Don’t go just yet,” he asked quietly. It was so uncharacteristic of him. She had no idea how to react. Charles wasn’t the clingy type. He was cold like 24/7. Was this...a Halloween miracle?

“I won’t,” Arabella whispered.

“Let’s watch a scary movie,” he blurted out all of a sudden.

“Charles, you’re literally minutes away from falling asleep on the couch.”

“Noo, I still have energy. Have you seen It? Come on, Bells, I know you want to!”

Arabella looked at the clock on her phone hesitantly.

“The last subway train is in 15 minutes. If I want to make it home on time, I will have to go now or never.”

“I can drive you home.”

“You’re drunk, I’m not getting in your car!”

Charles hmphed to himself.

“Fine. You can sleep here. Pleaseee, watch it with me!” he whined. Drunk!Charles was apparently a huuuuge baby.

“Charles...” Arabella warned.

“It’s not that I’m scared or anything, I just think it will be dull to watch a movie all by myself. Wait here, I’ll go get my laptop.”

Arabella exhaled deeply. There was no way of saying “no” to him. Whatever Charles wants, Charles gets. Like the little kids. He was back in no time and he sat really close to Bella, placing the laptop on his...well, lap.

“You can hold my hand if you get frightened,” Charles teased.

“I won’t! If anything, you’re the one who’ll be screaming in a couple of minutes.”

Ugh. Her mind was suddenly flooded with mischievous thoughts. To put it mildly, she imagined that sentence out of context. Big mistake.

“We’ll see about that,” Charles smirked, “My offer still stands.”

“Fuck off,” Arabella hissed.

“Insulting your boss is not a very good idea.”

“Just press the play button, boss,” she told him and for once, he listened.

Shockingly, Arabella enjoyed it a lot. Usually, she wasn’t a huge fan of scary movies but this one was different. Maybe because she really liked Bill Skarsgård as an actor. Or maybe because Charles’s legs were practically touching hers throughout the whole movie. She was willing to bet her money on the second one. Once the credits started rolling and Charles hit escape, Arabella realized it was 2am. No wonder, she was so tired. She wondered at how he’d managed to remain awake, considering he was busy all day.

“Aren’t you exhausted?” she asked him, genuinely worried about his terrible sleeping habits.

“Nope.”

“But I am. Besides, you need to get rest if you’re still up for spending my day off with me.”

“Of course. I never break my promises.”

“I know. I’ll take the couch, if that’s okay with you.”

“Sure, yeah, definitely,” Charles rushed through his words.

“In case you’re still feeling bad, I’d like to tell you that I had a wonderful Halloween.”

“Bullshit. I was so inconsiderate of you during the party.”

“I wasn’t talking about the party,” Arabella admitted.

“Oh.”

“Good night, Charles. See you tomorrow.”

Charles stood up anxiously and stared at Arabella silently for a couple of moments that felt like forever. When he realized that he was making her feel uncomfortable, he turned around and hurried upstairs to his room. Arabella helped herself with a glass of water and easily found a blanket. Charles was a terrible host. She supposed she should count herself lucky that she knew the mansion like the back of her hand. Arabella returned to the couch and tried to fall asleep. But all she could think about was watching that damned movie with Charles. And sleep didn’t come easily not because of the scary scenes...She smiled to herself sadly. Happy Halloween, dumbass.