#nevermind anxiety has not been damned i regret nothing but I also regret everything

[jayayayayayayayayayayayayayayay]

Why didn't this happen to me? Is it cause I had to emulate the game?? I want a refund of the money I didn't spend

remember to keep a good posture!

[divinewhimsy]

Ichor Pt9 (DabixReader)

A/N: Sorry this took so long!! I’ve been busy and have been writing with every spare moment I could get. I hope you all still enjoy it nonetheless!! Also I’m running out of gifs for these chapters LOL

Don’t be afraid to message me if you want to be added to the Taglist or want to interact. I don’t bite, I promise! <3

Tag list: @velvet-kissesss @marydragneell @littleblackpheonix @holytacocactuscollector @ghostingtime @the-cosmic-dreamer @haylosx @too-old4this-shit​ @nightime-writer​

Part 7: X

Part 8: X

Part 10: X

You’re almost afraid to open your eyes when you wake up. If the bed is empty and Dabi’s gone again you don’t know what you’ll do. The previous day had been full of new and uncertain things. Boundaries that had been crossed and removed. Ideas and thoughts that you remember brushing up against in the waves of his energy beside yours. There’s so much you can’t forget, can’t let go. So if he thinks he can just leave you behind with nothing, he’ll be in for a rude awakening. 

Thankfully as you open your eyes Dabi’s still beside you. Arms wrapped around your body, holding you to him with no room to move. He’s snoring softly, chest inflating and deflating with even breaths. 

He’s so damn beautiful it hurts. It’s almost unreal. Even if he thinks he looks awful or monstrous you can’t help but see the beauty in him. It’s not something you can pin down but looking at him is like witnessing art come to life. Living, breathing art. You run the back of your hand down his face, caressing his cheek gently as he stirs. 

He blinks groggily and groans, burying his face into the pillow. Your fingers slip to his hair, running through the soft strands absentmindedly. You just want to keep touching him. It’s your reason to breathe- any moment you spend not touching some part of him is existence without meaning, although he’d probably make fun of you if you told him. Nevertheless you run a finger down the shell of his ear, jingling his piercings quietly as you brush past them. 

He mumbles something into the pillow and you fight off a smile. 

“What?” you ask with a slight laugh. 

He mumbles it again, his muffled voice still swallowed by the pillow, although it's a little louder.

“I can’t hear you.” you giggle and he rolls his head to the side.

“I said it's too damn early.” he sighs and you shrug. 

“I don’t even know what time it is.” you admit, tracing his jawline with your fingertips and watching the goosebumps appear in their wake. 

He catches your hand with his own, pressing his lips to your palm. You meet his gaze then, his beautifully blue eyes crackling with a foreign emotion. He presses each of your fingertips to his lips, kissing them one by one. It’s a surprisingly gentle gesture but you melt all the same.

“Dabi.” you breathe and notice how his ears twitch at the sound of his name. “You said something yesterday that's been bugging me.” 

“I said a lot. You’re going to have to be more specific.” he grumbles, eyes barely open as he looks at you. 

“Well, there were a few things I wanted to talk to you about.” you murmur and swallow the rising levels of anxiety that start to spear through you. “But we’ll start with this one.”

Dabi waits in silence but you can feel the way he’s holding his breath. Waiting, with a hint of your own anxiety bleeding into his emotional resolve. You don’t want him to feel nervous- you’re the one who should be nervous! You know he hates repeating himself and here you are, about to ask him to do just that. 

“Nevermind.” you curl your lips into your mouth and glance away from him. “I need to pee.” 

You try to wiggle free from his arms but Dabi doesn’t let you budge. Instead he holds on tighter, his eyes narrowing as you search his face in a fleeting second.

“We’re not doing this bullshit.” he sighs and you stop wriggling at the absolute order in his voice. How does he do that?! “If there’s a problem just say it. I don’t like to waste time beating around the bush with stupid shit. I get if you regret yesterday but just come out and say it.” 

“Regret… Yesterday?” you furrow your brows, your face burning a bright red. “Absolutely not! I don’t regret it! I was going to ask about some other stuff having to do with the bond-... why do you think I regret it?”

Dabi’s brows furrow. 

“You- I- You can’t tell me you weren’t thinking that just then.” 

“I wasn’t!” you pull back to look at all of his face.

The surprise in his eyes also forms a small ‘o’ on his lips. The way his cerulean eyes drink in your features, worry strewn about both your faces as you pause. The moment of miscommunication passes with an awkward sigh of relief and Dabi clears his throat. 

“What did you want to talk about, then?” he grumbles quietly, eyes avoiding yours as he loosens his grip on your body.

He really must be insecure. How many people had regretted time spent with him if that was his immediate thought at your unease? How many rejections has he faced the morning after offering himself up? 

The pain in your heart makes you want to wrap your arms around him and never let go. No one should have to feel that broken- to feel that useless and awful and unwanted.

You don’t say anything but instead wrap yourself around him, hooking your legs around his. You press yourself to him, face burying into his neck and breathing in his natural smell of smoke and earth. A fire pit in the middle of a forest, a bonfire on a beach. The skies painted gray with the ashes of him. 

“Never.” you whisper and he sighs, running a hand down your hair and back gently. “I’ll never regret it.”

“Alright, alright.” he mumbles and pulls you away from him. “Go on and say what you wanted.”

At least he didn’t immediately push you away. There’s some progress there to be made still but it’s a start. One day he won’t tense or push you away. One day he’ll crave it and pull you toward him. You vow to make it reality.

“The bond.” you murmur and wrap yourself in the remainder of the sheets and blanket. 

You’d forgotten you were completely naked. Not that it matters after having spent last night with Dabi- he’d definitely gotten to see all of you. Just as you’ve seen all of him by now. Of course you wouldn’t object to always seeing all of him again. 

No. Focus. You wanted to talk to him about the bond.

“I- You mentioned you could see it that one day.” you spit out, flustered at your own thoughts. 

Dabi raises a brow and nods once. 

“Yeah. I can see it from time to time. It’s… I feel it more often than not, though.” he glances up at your ceiling. He reaches one hand up, drawing a swirling line up above. “It can get annoying.”

“Annoying?” you ask and he chuckles. 

“Yeah. When I left- after I got my quirk back,” he clears his throat, gaze flickering to your face after ‘left’ slips past his lips. “It became more apparent.”

You recall going after him when he had left with Charlie. You hadn’t known where you were going- but your body moved beyond your mind and brought you to him all the same. 

“If I focus on it,” he continues and turns his gaze to your arm. He runs his hand up it gingerly, timidly- almost- and draws shapes with his fingertips. “I can feel your heartbeat beside my own. I didn’t think it would affect me if I left. But when you woke up and realized I was gone, I knew I was wrong. I felt the strong, sharp pain in my own body. As if I’d been cut with glass and knives.” 

His adams apple bobs and you hold still as he continues to run his fingertip up and down your arm. It’s a pleasant feeling you never expected him to elicit but you’re not fighting it. Not when this moment is intimate in a way that makes your body blush more than when he’d been pounding into you. 

“I made it three days before I couldn’t take it anymore.” he laughs with a bitter note in his tone, “I was angry at you for not letting me go. For not listening and moving and getting the hell out of here. I knew others would guess you were involved with me- seen in public or private, it doesn’t matter. They know. That bastard- the green faced one with the Chameleon quirk- was one.”

“Charlie.” you frown and he shrugs. 

“He swooped in as soon as I left. He’d been waiting. I fought him in that last battle, the one you brought me back from. He trapped me in some awful building turning into rubble because he wasn’t able to take me on himself. Coward.

“He saw me leave. He’d been watching me- or, rather, you- the entire time. Probably before the League even knew where I was. His quirk made him excellent at hiding. So when I came back and saw him lurking around you, waiting for me, I knew I couldn’t just leave. I stayed and watched you. Waited for him to make his move when he thought I was gone for good. 

“I could feel your fear freeze you up.” he murmurs, hand sliding up to your cheek to cup your face gently. His thumb brushes under your eye again and he offers a small smile. “I’m just relieved he hadn’t gotten to you yet when I knocked on the window.”

“Why not just use the door?” 

“Then you’d be terrified even more.” he chuckles, “The window let you know at least one of the creepers in your home wasn’t there to hurt you.”

“That’s a terribly heroic thing to do.” you tease and he rolls his eyes.

“Don’t go telling everyone. Might ruin my reputation.” 

“Pfffft, okay.” you laugh and place your hand over his, keeping his palm pressed against your face. 

“He mentioned that if you killed him in front of me that it would ruin me for you.” you frown. “That I was innocent.”

“He thought so.” Dabi shrugs. “I can’t say one way or another. He was just trying to save his sorry ass.”

“What was he going to do?” you ask quietly, afraid of the answer.

“We’ll never know.” Dabi shrugs. “I didn’t ask. I was too angry to even think straight until I felt you coming along.”

“You could feel me?” 

“Of course I could- I can. Every step I’m away from you is painfully obvious. My body burns when you’re farther- and my flames...It’s harder to maintain as much control as I had before. They’re wild and angry. Devouring everything, not a care for what's in front of them.”

“They did grow when I got closer. But they also let me through.”

He nods.

“I have a theory on that, too.” he muses, “I think this connection between the two of us has something to do with that.”

“How so?”

“You brought me back from the dead, babydoll.” he says quietly. “That defies all logic as far as I know it. I think the connection between the two of us gets stronger when we’re closer because of it. I’m alive because of you, after all.”

“Also dead because of me the second time.” you mutter, guilt spreading through your limbs. 

“Still alive now, though.” he shrugs. “But hey, who knows? Maybe if I get farther away I might die.”

“Then you’ll just never leave.” you frown and wrap him in your arms tightly. “Or I’ll just bring you back.”

“What if I’m draining you?” he asks softly, his words barely above a whisper. “What if you’re so exhausted because I take every time I touch you? Maybe I’m why you lose control-”

“No.” you say sharply. “You’re not draining me, Dabi. You’re not taking anything. I’m giving you everything, if anything.”

“Then fucking stop.” he says curtly. “I don’t want to have to find someone else-”

“Are you saying...that you want to continue being with me?” you blink and pull back to look at him.

“Shut up. Just learn to control your quirk.”

“You just-”

“We’re moving past that now. I want you to honestly work on your quirk control. You can’t give me everything every time. I don’t want you to.”

“I can work on it.” you nod quietly, slightly dazed at his words. 

“Good.” he sighs. “Because I’m not sure I’ll have enough control for the both of us.”

“What?” you scrunch your face in confusion. “What do you mean?”

“It’s fucking difficult! You don’t understand how much self control it takes. With you giving it all every time? It’s like you’re flooding my senses with this drug and I can’t get enough of it. It’s what brought me back from the other side. It’s like this… Impossible feeling. I feel invincible. Like I’m unkillable, unbeatable. It races through my senses and I’m always better than I’ve ever imagined I could be. You’re a drug, princess. I’m not going to be able to say no everytime.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Do you see how it drains you?” he cuts you off with a warning glare. “Do you even realize its not normal to be that worn out after sex? It’s hard to have the self control to take myself from it. Kissing you, eating you out, being inside you- even just touching you feels like everything in the universe came together to put me there specifically. Aligned and came together just for that. It’s a high I’ll always chase as long as I live if you keep offering it.”

You blush and he smirks.

“And with the way you look right now it seems you’ll keep offering it.” he chuckles darkly and brushes his lips against yours. “Every moment I devour a piece of you- it's a rush. It’s enough to make a man lose control.” 

His kiss is passionate and heated, tongue dominating yours as he draws you closer to him. Your body melts into his, letting his hands grasp and grip you any way he wants and he lets out a low growl.

“See? Like that.” he hisses and pulls away. “Makin’ me dizzy and shit.”

You pant and giggle, “It makes me dizzy too.”

“It’s dangerous.” he growls and presses his lips to your forehead. “Are you sure that your quirk counselor didn’t already know what your quirk could do? If they knew you had the ability to do what we’ve seen you do, it’s no wonder they told you to hide it.”

“I don’t think so.” you sigh. “They just knew I had...drained someone. I guess they just left it at that? I don’t remember them doing anything extensive. Why hide it if I can defy death?” 

“Hmm.” Dabi hums and presses a hand to the small of your back, holding you closer to him. “Maybe they thought it would protect you? I don’t know. Speaking of…”

You glance up at him as he brings a hand to your face once more, tilting your head back. 

“Huh?” you blink. 

“We’re not telling Shigaraki or the League about any of that. In fact, we’re not telling anyone. And I don’t want you to go to any more battlefields. You can’t use your quirk as openly as you did before. People are watching you.”

“But…” you start but Dabi stops you with a stern look. 

“You can’t.” he breathes, “we have no idea what could happen and until you get control over it, it’s easier to just not use it.”

He’s right but Shigaraki’s words ring through your memory. This is different. It’s not the same as the others before you telling you not to use it. It’s not the same. 

...Right? 

What are you thinking, of course it isn't the same. Dabi wouldn’t do that to you. You can’t even believe the thought that he would come up in your brain. 

Then again, Shigaraki is an intelligent man. His words will last longer than his presence will and the purpose behind them will grow. If you let him sow the doubt into you now, you’ll be playing right into his hands. 

“Okay.” you nod. “I won’t.” 

Dabi searches your eyes for a few seconds more before he lets out the breath he’d been holding. 

“Good.” he grumbles and releases your face as his finger slides to your lips. His gaze flickers there, watching as he traces the shape of your mouth. “I’m going to have to make an appearance at the League today or Shigaraki will show back up.” 

You nod, debating if you should bite his fingers or not. He moves them from your face before you can decide- teaching for his phone underneath the pillow with a sigh. 

“Speaking of.” he mutters as it starts to ring. He answers it with an annoyed look, his eyebrow twitching as the person on the other line immediately starts speaking.

“Yeah, yeah. Shut up. I’ll be there.” Dabi grumbles and you stifle a laugh, smiling as he hangs up before the other person can finish speaking. “It’s almost sunset. I should get going.” 

He seems to hesitate as his hand hovers above your face, his warmth enveloping you before he moves. You decide for him, bunting your head into his hand and wrapping your arms around him. He releases at your touch, meeting your lips halfway as if he can read your mind. 

The kiss is quick but still packed with that same longing heat from before. Notes of regret twinge in your stomach as he pulls away, feeling the surge of your quirk rises up. You wince, toes curling as you look at his face.

“Control.” he growls and flicks you in the nose. 

You pout but end up smiling as he ruffles your hair and slides out of the bed. He pulls on pants and a shirt, donning his signature jacket. He pads out the room with a wave but keeps his gaze forward. You watch as he leaves, words lingering on your lips with the memory of his fingers. 

It’s too soon to say them. The three words may just very well damn this entire… situation. You’re sure at least feels how you do- or feels what you’re feeling through the bond, at least. Acknowledging it when it’s in its infancy is ridiculous. 

You dress yourself a little bit after, making some food and watching tv before your phone rings. It’s Lively- who’s already on her way over to drag you with her to some event by the school her new boyfriend works at. You groan but don’t bother arguing. It’s easier to just go along with her shenanigans than to try and stop the already in motion plan. 

**

It’s not as bad as you thought it might be. The event is off campus- which is surprising, given recent issues with UA and their security breaches. You don’t voice your concerns though as she blabbers on and on about various topics. You listen and add in but you know your heart isn’t in the conversation. Not when your emotions are still so twisted from the night before. 

You check to make sure the bond between you and Dabi is still there- and it is. It never once disappears, although you have an irrational fear it might. What if he wasn’t going to come back?

You could just track him down again. 

Or go to the league. If you had a deathwish. Dabi already didn’t want you there- not because he doesn’t like you but because he said he wanted what was best for you. 

The only issue with that is what if you want the best for him? Is the league really the best that can be offered? Is being a villain honestly what he needs? It’s too messy, too dangerous. 

Then again, you were the one who rushed to save him. You started this entire thing. Bound him to you with blood. 

Lively chatters away before squealing and dashing up to a dark haired man with tired eyes and a large tan scarf around his shoulders. He smiles softly as she wraps her arms around him and starts blabbering away just as you walk up. 

“This is my best friend, [Name]! The one I told you I work with.” she gestures toward you and the man nods when he meets your gaze.

“I’ve told Shouta alllllll about you!” Lively giggles and you wince, trying to play it off as a smile. 

“All about me, huh?” you mumble and she laughs.

“Well he has a few single friends who are pro’s like him! Sooo that’s why I brought you today! To meet them!” 

Dear god, no. You shake your head and swallow, taking a cautious step away from the couple. 

“I’m really alright on my own-“ you start but Lively isn’t having it as she’s hurriedly waving someone behind you over. 

“You don’t have to start anything- think of them as more friends or social outlets!” she encourages and you sigh. 

You can’t tell her you’re technically seeing someone. Not without her prying into who it is and when you met them. Unless Dabi didn’t consider you two being together...A something? Is it a relationship? Is it a fling? Is it because you two are bound by your quirk? 

You really should ask him but… would that scare him away? Are you even ready to define what the two of you are together? Sure, you’d slept with him but it wasn’t like you’d confessed your love for him. Granted, neither had he. You could be overthinking this entire thing. 

Emotional turmoil aside, you have to focus on the now. As Lively introduces you to a couple of the UA teachers, she tugs you and her boyfriend- Aizawa, as you’ve taken to politely calling him by his last name- around with her. You’re not sure which one is the one she’s specifically trying to set you up with but they all seem nice enough. None of them stand out enough to catch your eye but you’re not really looking for someone that is. Not when you just shared your bed with someone you’re connected to on a whole different level. A level beyond what any other being can even begin to offer you. 

Your quirk has ruined other relationships for you. Now that you know how deep you can connect with someone else by using it, it’s impossible to think of not being so...Intertwined with someone. And asking them to die so you can bring them back for that level of connectivity is insane. This is a rare, once in a lifetime thing you’re keeping secret and you can’t even hope to explain to anyone else why no past or future relationship will ever be the same. 

Lively babbles on about different things throughout the night. You don’t mind listening but you’re thankful when her and Aizawa step away with another teacher/Pro hero- Present Mic. He gives a friendly wave and you nod politely back before resting at one of the tables off to the side. It’s on the outskirts of the event and mostly private while everyone else is walking around enjoying the many booths and groups of heroes. 

You’re enjoying the quiet when your phone chimes with an incoming text. You blink at your screen in surprise- you’ve already told Lively where to find you if she needed you. Who else could be trying to reach you?

It’s a number you don’t recognize. 

The text is off putting, to say the least. 

‘What are you doing here?’

Who even…?

‘You must have the wrong number, I don’t have this one saved as a contact.’

‘Of course you won’t. I’ve never messaged you before this.’ 

‘That doesn’t help clear up who this is.’

‘It’s me, “Ichor”.’ 

You freeze, eyes locked down on your phone. The only person you’ve told to call you ‘Ichor’ is coincidentally the only person you’ve stayed in contact with after healing. Dabi. You can’t type his name out. If someone were to get a hold of your phone, they’d have his number and know it’s home by your guessing text alone. It would just be a burden if he had to get a new one. But if this is Dabi...Why is he messaging you now?? 

‘...D?’ 

‘Who else?’ 

You swear you can hear his snarky tone. Is he around here? With so many heroes close by? He can’t honestly think he has a chance to take them all down by himself. 

Unless the League is planning another attack. 

Your skin turns into ice at the thought. Here? Now? An attack? Lively is somewhere nearby- you have to get her out. But how can you without alerting the heroes of the villains? 

Shigaraki’s words simmer through your mind; ‘In the end it’ll come down to the choice you refuse to make- Who will you save? A hero? Or a villain?’

Do you honestly have to choose? Not that Lively is a hero by any means- she’s innocent in this. She’s dating a Pro, sure, but that doesn’t mean she deserves to be caught in the middle. Then again, the League doesn’t care about those caught in the crossfire. They’re not heroes who try to minimize damage and casualties. 

The thought makes you sick. How many people would get hurt just for the League’s statement? 

‘What are YOU doing here??’

You counter, worry bleeding into your features as you search the edge of the crowds. Do you leave? Do you stay? 

Why does it feel like the choice you make is going to impact your life in ways you can’t even begin to imagine? 

‘I asked you first.’ 

You can imagine his face. Squinting turquoise eyes, his lips pressing into an impossibly thin line. The distrust oozing from him in waves that make you feel sick. 

‘Lively dragged me here. The coworker I told you about from before.’ 

It’s the truth. And that’s always the best place to start. 

‘And left you by yourself?’ 

Of course he’s going to question it when you’re all alone. 

‘She went off with her boyfriend to do something. I just wanted a moment alone.’ 

Why oh why does this feel like you’re deactivating a ticking time bomb? Sweating before the open panel filled with crazy wires crackling with explosive energy. You have to stop this. 

Dabi doesn’t answer and you roll your bottom lip between your teeth. You need to talk to him face to face otherwise your mind is going to convince you he’s angry with you. If you can just see his eyes and get one moment with him… Then you’ll know this isn’t as bad as it seems. 

You stand from your seat and tuck your phone into your pocket, weaving out of the area and searching every shadow that you find. He has to be here somewhere, doesn’t he? If he knows you’re here, he must have seen you. 

You send a quick message to Lively explaining you went home and continue your search. No reason to get her worried or suspicious. Your absence needs to seem genuine for her not to worry. Giving some bullshit excuse about you needing to finish some research works well enough.

You’re not well traveled in this part of the city, unfortunately. It’s too much of a maze to properly figure out but you end up checking alley after alley, looking for him. You find bums and thugs, paying them only a quick glance before skittering off to the next alley. Some call out, others growl but you’re a safe enough distance away by the time they can even react. 

Where could he be? You’re turning down the next street when you’re yanked into a dark corner by a closed tailors shop. Firm hands are on your shoulders as they spin you to face their owner, your body trapped between the brick wall and your captor. 

You relax as you recognize the warmth from him, the heat rolling off his body and his glistening cerulean eyes. 

Dabi.

You’re always speechless when you look directly into his gaze but there’s something more to this. As he pins you against the wall, hands splayed on the brick on either side of your head, you can’t help but feel the beat of his heart against your ribs. His body is just barely touching yours but your skin burns for him, offering up a delicious rosy blush for him as yours recalls the memories of his body. His form pressing against yours, the feel of him within- it’s all a rush as he’s only inches from you. 

“Dabi.” you breathe, a relieved sigh escaping your lips. “I thought you had to go back to the group?”

“So you took the time to brush elbows with the pros while I was gone?”

Okay so maybe he is upset with you. 

You frown.

“You know that’s not why I’m here.” you sigh and he squints. 

“Do I?” 

“You can’t be serious right now.” you shake your head in disbelief. “Listen to yourself. Why would I want to be near pros? They’re loud, obnoxious and I don’t want any of the spotlight they bring. Being here doesn’t benefit me in the slightest.” 

“And what does?” he challenges, his hands warming up against the bricks. You can feel the heat roll toward you but you don’t dare flinch. You will not be afraid of him- he’s just trying to intimidate you. 

“You.” rolling your eyes, you open the connection between you two through the bond. You let a tendril of his soul slip through it, testing the metaphorical waters for any lie. “Feel for yourself.”

You don’t know if he can see or hear or feel it the way you do but it's worth a shot. Opening yourself to him isn’t as terrifying as it sounds although you still feel bare before him. All of his attention and essence sifting through your own to connect.

There’s only a fraction of him that visibly relaxes at the unseen action and you release the tension building up in your shoulders. At least it’s him. But why is he being so weird…?

“Do you really not trust me?” you murmur as he rests his head on your shoulder. The ends of his silky hair brush your cheek and you wrap your arms around him instinctively. 

“I don’t trust anyone.” he mumbles. 

It’s a lie but one you’ll let him believe. If that’s what he needs right now, so be it. But you know some part of him trusts you enough to expose different sides of himself. Or maybe it's involuntary? 

Your fingertips slip into his hair and gently run through the tufts of it, letting them slip through the spaces between your fingers. His head rolls to the side as his lips attach to your neck, a soft purr reverberating from his chest. You feel it more than you hear it but it doesn’t matter. Because the moment his lips are on your skin you’re melting into his touch all over again. 

You attempt control of your quirk, reeling it in until it’s locked tightly in your veins, ribbons of it swimming like eels trying to escape. It’s hard to focus on it and your attention slips as Dabi nips at your skin. With a yelp you jump and your control is snapped away and the ribbons of your quirk connect to Dabi’s veins. Surging with energy and the beautiful, steady melody of his heartbeat, you relax into his arms. 

Dabi catches you before your knees give out and he sighs quietly- a note of content burning through you can’t ignore. 

“You tried.” he chuckles and you offer a pathetic sound in response. You’re not even sure if you’re agreeing with him or not. It’s acknowledgment, at least. 

The sting of his mistrust still hurts but you don’t let it go. You hold it for a brief moment as he pulls his face away from your neck, a somber and lost look tracing his features. 

“Were you… Scared?” you ask quietly, brows furrowing on your face as you try to piece together why he feels… Different. His words and his actions are mixed, meaning and definitions clashing with how you’re deciphering them.

“Of what?” he sighs, bored tone returning to his voice. 

You. Betrayal. Rejection. Ever since earlier he’s been… strange. 

He must have been worried. With how drained you were after sex and then you being around so many Pro’s. You recall Shigaraki’s words about him being staked outside your apartment for a week before Charlie broke in. Even if he claims he was watching him and not you, you can’t help but feel maybe he was watching you all along.

“Nothing.” you mumble and press a hesitant kiss to his temple, holding his head still. He doesn’t object but the way he tenses up solidifies your suspicions. 

Dabi’s not used to caring or worrying about others. He isn’t used to the physical contact between people if it isn’t explicitly sexual. He’s well versed in the way of fighting and sex but for anything more intimate you can see the way he shudders. His sharpened edges spring from him in a defensive- and the fear is blatantly clear to you through the bond. 

Testing the waters of his emotional state only backs up your idea. He’s a storm of different feelings- none of it sorted and all of it bottled up until it breaks free. 

“Quit that.” Dabi grumbles and you pause, pulling away from his face to look at him.

His bored look doesn’t budge. 

“Quit what?” you blink, unsure of what he meant. Touching him? The gentle temple kiss? Or feeling his emotions?

“Saying it’s nothing.” he sighs. “I get really tired of those bullshit games.”

“Oh, well… I wasn’t sure you’d like what I had to say.”

“Does it matter if I do or don’t? Just say it.”

“I was going to say you were scared that I might betray you.” you admit sheepishly. “That you were afraid I wasn’t...genuine with you from the beginning.” 

“And?” 

He’s holding his breath.

“I’ve been honest with you.” you assure. “I’ve already opened myself up to you to search for your own assurance if you want. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t trust me but I understand the past may have proven that to be… difficult, to say the least.”

He doesn’t say anything but his arms slide around your waist, holding you to his warm chest. The closeness to him is somehow changed in the night but you don’t dislike it. Holding you more tightly than before, as if he’s reluctant to let go. It’s a new side to Dabi. 

“You don’t have to completely trust me.” you offer quietly, lips brushing his collarbone as you lean into him. “I understand. I’m not upset. I’ll do everything I can to help you trust again.” 

He presses a kiss to your hair and a smile blooms on your face, although it’s small. 

It’s a step in the right direction, at least. 

“Can we go home now?” you yawn. “Or do you need to go back?”

“I’ll walk you home first.” he says quietly and you grasp his hand in your own, threading your fingers tenderly. 

Dabi freezes at the action but doesn’t pull away. He settles on keeping his gaze on anything but you and you’re not sure but it must be the pink lighting of the festival that dusts his cheeks with a rosy hue. Or your imagination. 

By the time you’re safe and sound in your apartment, Dabi's face has returned to his normal pale and purple, piercings and all steeled into a bored tone. He drops you off at the door and you pause as he steps away, concern wrapping around your heart. 

“Are you not…?” you’re stuck between ‘coming in’ and ‘coming back’ but Dabi seems to read it.

He shakes his head, eyes scanning the sky above nonchalantly. 

“I have a couple of other things to do.” he says quietly. 

“But… You’ll come back… Right?” you murmur and he takes a deep breath.

“Yeah.” 

“Alright. See you later.”

He waves and starts stalking down the street, his pace set by his long stride. You watch as he retreats from your vision, a weird sensation building in your gut. 

He’s probably just thinking about something. You wish he would open up to you but you understand why he doesn’t. Dabi isn’t used to doing these kinds of things- and for him to be anything but his normal bored or flirty self is strange. 

Still, if he needs time alone to figure it out, so be it. 

You’ll be right here when he does. Come hell or high water.

[kinktae]

camellia || pt. 2 (M)

Y/N is a strong-willed herbalist who knows exactly what she wants; she also happens to make some really good tea. Taehyung is a kind but rebellious prince who doesn’t really know what he wants but he knows that the commoner girl who makes fantastic tea can’t be this damn cute.

pairing: prince!taehyung x herbalist!reader

word count: 10k

genre: fluff, smut, prince au

warnings: the smut scene was meant to be a cute one but somehow it turned filthy and I accidentally made Tae into a raging dom oops

A/N: Header created by me! Inspired by one of my favorite animes ever: Snow White with the Red Hair. 

CHAPTERS: 01 | 02

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PART TWO 

Prince Taehyung was never a tea person. So imagine the castle staff's surprise when he began to request homemade tea every night from to room.

You remembered the first time a maid came and found you about the prince's request for your tea. You nodded politely back at her, but couldn't help the smile that crept onto your face.

Even when you arrived at the prince's door, tray in hand, your smile still didn't let up.

Night after night you made Taehyung tea, sitting at the foot of his bed as he always managed to convince you to stay and chat for a while. Taehyung spoke to you about anything and everything; he liked the way you spoke bluntly and didn't shrink yourself around him. Even when the tea was gone and the initial conversation had died, he'd find new things to talk about, no matter how unimportant, just because he liked the sound of your voice.

“What?” You asked one night, noticing that Taehyung had been staring at you for the past few minutes.

“Nothing. I just really like hearing you talk is all.” Taehyung confessed softly, causing you to glance down at your empty teacup, unable to meet his sincere eyes.

It was the small conversations like that one that would linger on your mind as you made your way down the castle halls, a soft tune falling from your lips.

You were grateful for your friendship with the prince; you had been at the castle for two months now and had yet to make many friends if any at all. 

Taehyung had been the one to encourage you as you took the palace pharmacist entrance exam, which would ensure your spot in the castle. You passed with flying colors, and soon enough you found yourself in the position of court herbalist, a title held by only two other people in the palace, both of which you enjoyed working beside, even if neither was near your age.

Every day you worked diligently, spending hours in the greenhouse, notebook in hand as you took notice of any plants that weren't thriving or growing at expected rates. While it wasn't quite the herbal medicine you wanted to practice, you were grateful for whatever work you could get, as measuring stem diameter was still far more of interest to you than stitching up open wounds.

Although not surprised, your father wasn't entirely thrilled that you had taken up an herbalist position over a medicine one, so you had made it a point to do everything you did with enthusiasm with hopes that you could make him proud nevertheless.

"Have you seen the royal tea girl walking around lately?"

An unfamiliar voice swept out in front of you, the words catching you off guard as you halted your steps. Your eyebrows furrowed as you took silent steps forward, peering cautiously around the corner.

"Oh, poor thing, she's filthy."

Your stomach dropped as you watched a group of four women standing in a semi-circle, talking amongst themselves. You hadn’t seen them before, their faces albeit beautiful were unfamiliar. It was clear from their attire that they were noblewoman of some sort.

"Seriously, what does she do all day? Roll around in dirt?" A woman of golden hair scoffed, her curls bouncing slightly as she shook her head lightly.

"I could never imagine having to crawl through dirt all day. I know she's a commoner but has she really no shame as to parade around like that? I wouldn't be caught dead walking amongst royals with soil on my face!" Another spoke, her tan complexion complimenting the white of her teeth.

A round of cruel laugh fell over the group.

You should turn around. You should stop listening and turn around.

You placed a hand against the wall you were hiding against, fingers falling on top of the gold molding that decorated the inside of the palace walls.

"She's lucky her father is the head doctor. It’s the only reason she’s here, you know. She would've been thrown out the moment she started tracking dirt into the castle with those horrid boots of hers if it weren’t for him." The blonde spoke again through a laugh.

Taking a step back, you pulled your eyes away from the women. Your face burned and insides churned as you began to walk away.

You had never overheard anyone speak so ill of you so freely like that before. Is that what everyone at the castle thought of you? That you were nothing more than some dirt covered royal tea girl?

"Y/N?"

A voice called out from behind you, causing you to turn around mid-step.

"Fancy seeing you here." Taehyung grinned, having had just emerged from a room you had passed by.

"Oh, your highness. Forgive me, I didn't see you." You breathed out, not expecting to see the prince now of all people.

"Tae." He corrected.

You glanced around to make sure that the two of you were alone, "Sorry. Tae."

"Are you okay?" Taehyung frowned at your flustered state.

"Yes, why do you ask?"

"You're shaking."

You blinked at his words, swallowing dryly. He was right; your anxiety was off the charts. Did Taehyung think of you in the way those women spoke about you? You could hardly think clearly, all you knew was that you wanted to get as far away from everyone as soon as possible.

"I just..." You began, crossing your arms over your chest. "I overheard something I shouldn't have."

At your words, Taehyung's face fell, a glimmer of concern gracing his warm eyes. Immediately, regret flooded you. You shouldn't bother him with something as trivial as some women not liking you. The prince had far more pressing issues to worry about, you were sure.

"Actually, nevermind. I don't want to bother you. It's really not that important–"

"Y/N." Taehyung cut you off pointedly. "You can talk to me."

You pressed your lips together, eyes flickering away from his worried ones.

"There were some women talking amongst them themselves about me. How my clothes are always dirty–"

"You work with plants. You're an herbalist." Taehyung defended, an angry look on his face.

You let out a sigh, "Only because my father is the head doctor."

Taehyung blinked at you, obviously bewilderedly.

"What?"

"They said the only reason I'm here is because of my father. And honestly, Tae, they're right." You continued, voice breaking slightly as you spoke, your emotions catching up with you.

"What? Come on, you know that's not true." The prince reasoned causing you to shake your head.

"It is true!" You exclaimed, eyes watering.

"I don't belong here! I mean, I've always known that. I'm not poised or refined, not to mention I've been here for two months and every guard still looks at me as if I'm some threat to the crown. Even the cooking staff, every time I walk into the kitchen they look at me like I'm some peasant girl who is going to steal silverware or something!"

Tears fell freely down your cheeks but you couldn't stop your upset rambling

"And it's not like I'm doing anything useful here? I take inventory of plants. That's all I do! That's not helping anyone like I want to. The best thing I contribute to this castle is making stupid god damn tea."

At the sound of a broken sob leaving your lips, Taehyung pulled you into him, wrapping his arms around you.

You hardly had time to be embarrassed at his gesture as you buried your face into his chest. You weren't expecting this wave of emotions, but as Taehyung held you, you felt an overwhelming amount of catharsis fall over you.

You weren't a vulnerable person by any means, you'd rather internalize any insecurities you faced and deal with them privately. So to voice them out loud Taehyung had you feeling outrageously fragile.

Taehyung's hands wrapped around your shoulders, pulling you back. He ran a thumb over a wet cheek, beckoning you to meet his eyes.

"Even if your father got you here, it's you and your knowledge that passed that entrance exam and kept you here. Not him."

You opened your mouth to respond but the prince shushed you.

"I'm sorry the staff hasn't been kind to you. We haven't seen a new face in the palace in years, as you can probably tell by the lack of people our age. They're wary of you, and I'm sorry if they aren't treating you fairly." Taehyung took a breath as if trying to compose his thoughts.

"As for those women, were they staff or were they of nobility?"

You sniffed lightly, "Nobility. Or at least, they were dressed as if they were."

Taehyung scrunched up his nose in distaste, causing your curiosity to pique.

"Countesses." He scowled. "Some of them wives of Earls of neighboring kingdoms. Some of them of Counts. All of them wretched."

Your eyes widened at Taehyung's openly verbal disdain for the countesses. You suppose seeing as he outranked them, he could speak freely against them.

"They come to stay every once and a while. It's meant to encourage friendly relations between kingdoms but if you ask me they just come to pretend that they're more important than they actually are." Taehyung admitted causing a small giggle to escape your lips.

Taehyung stared at you fondly for a moment before speaking again.

"They gossip because they're bored and have nothing better to do. You are more than worthy of a to be here. Certainly more worthy than they are. Being born into nobility doesn't warrant significance. It's what you do with your nobility that matters. Otherwise, your title is meaningless."

For a moment, the two of you stared at each other, once again hit with the realization that despite everything that differentiated the two of you, at the end of the day, you were both more alike then you were different.

A smirk crept up onto the prince’s mouth.

“Are you busy? Would you want to go back to your village with me?”

You paused for a moment, staring back at the prince confusedly.

"Wha– Do you mean right now?" You blinked.

Taehyung nodded back at you enthusiastically.

"If you haven't anything else today, of course. I haven't spent much time there if I'm honest. Who better to give me a tour than someone who actually knows the area and the people? It's time to do something with my title. And I'd love it if you helped me."

Taehyung's words were so sincere and earnest that you found yourself growing warm under his excited stare.

"Of course, I'll help you. I'm done for the day, I just need to change into some clean clothes–"

"Great! I'll meet you at the stables in fifteen minutes?" He asked, sounding hurried.

You grinned, "Alright, see you then."

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It was on your ride back to your village, after Taehyung had lead Yeontan through a hidden path away from the castle that the prince finally confessed that he was meant to be attending a meeting later today. You were quick to scold him in light of his confession but couldn't argue with his defense that going out to see if he could help his people was a good alternative for the routine meeting the heads of royalty and staff usually had.

Unsurprisingly, traveling by horse still hadn't become easier since your first time on Yeontan two months ago. You held on as steadily as you could without hurting the horse or the prince, but you couldn't help but let out a small noise of fear every time Yeontan sped up to a canter, your body bouncing in rhythm to his movements.

Even as you reached your hometown, having had finally stopped at the local stables, with both feet on the ground, you still found yourself weak in the knees.

Taehyung had just finished speaking to the stableman about arranging Yeontan to stay here for the day as a royal horse would draw too much attention anywhere else and headed over to where you stood leaning against the wooden fence, looking weary.

"Why the long face?" He joked as he reached you, causing you to roll your eyes.

"Horse joke. Funny." You mused dryly as you retied your cloak tighter around your neck.

The prince gave you a cheeky grin as he reached for his own cloak, mimicking your actions.

"You really don't like riding horses, do you?"

"It's not my favorite activity." You admitted, beginning to lead the dark haired man into town.

"Really? I would've never guessed by your petrified squeals mid-ride and inability to stand immediately after." Taehyung smirked as he walked beside you.

You shoved your shoulder into his lightly causing him to laugh.

"You know, I could teach you how to ride if you'd like." He offered, causing you to turn to face him.

"Really? Wait... Are you sure that's a good idea?" You contemplated, flashing Taehyung a skeptical look.

He shrugged, "The reason you're scared of falling is a lack of trust in the horse and a lack of trust in yourself. Learning how to ride should help with that."

You let out a hum, stepping over a tree branch that was laid out in front of your path.

"I mean, yes. I'd love to at least try! Only if it isn't a bother, of course."

"Sure. I've got plenty of time to spare. It's not like I do much as prince anyway." Taehyung reminded you, somewhat bitterly.

You offered him a sympathetic smile, "That all changes today."

Taehyung and you were taking a more discrete way into the village. As a little girl, you used to take this path often, as it offered a more scenic route back home. You were a fan of nature from the start after all.

"I hear people." Taehyung said after a while, the two of you having had been walking in comfortable silence.

You could hear the excited chatter of your village's people from not too far ahead. And as the two of you walked out onto the pavement of the town you once called home, you couldn't help but smile.

"They're preparing for the summer festival!" You told Taehyung excitedly, eyes running over the busying bodies.

Women and men alike all brushed past one another, arms carrying brightly colors fabrics and other miscellaneous decorations. Children marched behind their parents happily, hands swinging at their sides in time to whatever song laid in their heads.

Taehyung said nothing, eyes wide as he took in the busy market and its people, trailing behind you as you walked.

You were headed toward your family’s old pharmacy. Back when both your family worked there, it served as both a clinic and pharmacy; your mother mainly in charge of pharmacy while your father also worked part-time treating injuries. When your mother passed away, your father reached out your family friend, Dhruv, to help out, along with putting you to work. With both you and your father now working at the castle, the pharmacy had fallen ownership to Dhruv and his family.

“It isn’t that much longer until we reach–”

You turned to speak to Taehyung, only to realize he wasn’t beside you.

You halted your steps, turning around in alarm, lifting up onto your toes to search for the prince’s dark locks.

Your eyes flickered back in forth in panic before they locked onto Taehyung’s concerned ones, standing a few feet back. You opened your mouth to call his name out in relief, but stopped yourself, realizing that even if no one knew what the prince looked like, screaming out his name in the middle of a busy market still probably wasn’t the smartest of ideas.

“Thought I lost you there for a second.” You sighed once Taehyung was in earshot.

“Sorry! I got distracted by everything that’s going on.” He apologized with a lopsided grin as he finally reached you.

You rolled your eyes, a small smirk on your lips, “Gosh, you’re like an excited little kid. You’d better shape up or I’ll make you hold my hand.”

At your words, Taehyung’s eyes widened in surprise, “Hold your hand?”

Immediately, you realized how what you had just said could be misconstrued. You let out a nervous laugh, arms waving in front of you dismissively.

"N-Not in a romantic sense, of course! I just meant so you wouldn't keep falling behind. It’s what mothers do with children that wander! I– Sorry, that was a really stupid joke, just pretend like I didn't say anything–"

Your rambling was cut off by the feeling of Taehyung's large hand intertwining with yours, leaving you speechless.

“I don’t mind if you don’t." He grinned lopsidedly, squeezing his warm hand around yours.

A small noise of agreement left your throat as you turned away from the prince's twinkling eyes. Your face burned and your heart raced. He had taken it so easily, it threw you entirely off guard, and just to occupy your muddled mind, you began to point out the different shops and sellers of the market. Taehyung listened and responded attentively, for which you were grateful. Anything to keep his mind off how clammy your hand was with his holding it.

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“Dhruv!” You exclaimed excitedly as you stepped into the pharmacy, hand slipping from Taehyung’s.

The familiar man perked up at the sound of your voice, eyes widening in surprise as he took you in.

“Hey, look who came back!” Dhruv mused to himself, slipping out from behind the counter to wrap you up in a hug.

For the two years you lived in the village without your father, Dhruv had served as a father figure to you, helping you adjust to life on your own, not to mention helping you with boy troubles when your father couldn’t.

Taehyung watched in curiosity, leaning back against a wall by the pharmacy front door.

“You back for good?” Dhruv asked as the two of you pulled apart, causing you to laugh.

“Not quite. I came back to buy some seeds.”

The man and you continued to talk as he made his way back behind the counter, taking your order as he asked you questions about your new castle life.

“And who is Mr. Tall, Dark, and Handsome that you came in with?” Dhruv asked you, eyes flickering behind you. You looked over your shoulder to see Taehyung looking slightly out of place as if he wasn’t sure what to do.

“Come over here.” You beckoned him through a laugh.

Taehyung flashed you a sheepish look, moving to walk over to you.

“Forgive me, I didn’t want to interrupt the reunion.” He apologized, offering a charming smile.

“Nonsense! I’m tired of Y/N’s old face anyway, new faces are much more exciting.” Dhruv chuckled causing you to let out an offended laugh.

“It’s nice to meet you. I’m… Tae.” The prince introduced after slight deliberation. Dhruv made no reaction towards the nickname, clearly not connecting the stranger Tae as the prince Taehyung.

“Dhruv.” The pharmacist greeted.

Dhruv turned towards you, “Well, I’d offer you some of your favorite tea like we used to have every morning but I’m afraid there’s been a bit of a water shortage throughout the village lately.”

At his words, both you and Taehyung perked up in interest.

“Water shortage? We’ve never had a water shortage before have we?” You asked, eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Oh, it’s been a while since the last one. Been about a month now.”  The man sighed.

You could feel Taehyung physically tense at his words.

“Ah, no worries though. We just gotta get through the summer and things should go back to normal I think. Why don’t I run back and get you those seeds you asked for. On the house, of course.”

You let out a noise in surprise, “Oh please, Dhruv, no. Let me pay you–”

“Hush. You’re like family to me at this point. Besides I’m already moving so you can’t fight it.” The man mused, slipping into the back of the store with a wave.

“That man, I swear.” You shook your head with a huff.

“Twenty four.” Taehyung muttered to himself, causing you to look over at him.

“Pardon?”

Taehyung met your eyes, a small frown on his lips.

“If my family knew about this I would’ve heard about the water shortage by now. We have twenty-four fountains at the palace that spew water 24/7. I’ve been doing nothing while a whole village of my people has been going on thirsty. We don’t need that water, they do…” Taehyung gesturing towards where Dhruv had disappeared.

Taking in Taehyung’s bothered expression, you placed a hand onto his cheek as you offered him a sympathetic look in an effort to comfort him.

“That’s not your fault and you know it’s not. If the royal family didn’t know then there was no way you could have known.” You cooed softly.

Taehyung’s eyes met yours gently as he placed his hand over yours gratefully.

“Here we are!” Dhruv reemerged from the storage room, causing Taehyung and you to jump apart.

Taehyung’s face red and your voice shaking from being caught in such an intimate gesture, you accepted the seeds from Dhruv, thanking him profusely after he once again refused your money.

The three of you made small talk for a few minutes before Dhruv walked over towards another customer that had walked in. For a moment, Taehyung and you stood in front of the counter silently, as you looked down at what you were just given.

At the feeling of eyes aimed in his direction, Taehyung looked over to the pharmacy’s window only to see a man standing outside it, eyeing Y/N unabashedly.

"Y/N," Taehyung began lowly, causing you to look up at him, "there is a man staring at you from outside as if he's seen a ghost."

You turn towards the window in confusion, only to see the familiar face of your former lover.

"Oh shit." You breathed, looking away quickly.

"Who is he?" Taehyung pondered.

"My ex-boyfriend."

The chime of the door opening caused you to curse as it meant he had entered to greet you.

“Y/N!” The familiar voice called out, causing you to look up and greet the young man with a sheepish smile.

“Jungkook! How are you?” You greeted back, walking over to him.

Taehyung stayed leaning against the counter, eyeing the man called Jungkook skeptically, even more so when he wrapped his arms around you.

“I haven’t seen you in forever. I heard you’re living at the castle now?” Jungkook said as he broke the embrace.

“I am.” You nodded politely.

“I had to find out through Dhruv, you know. I came over here one day and he said you left.”

You flinched at his words, knowing that he would bring that up, “Ah, well. It all happened so suddenly. I’m sorry I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye.”

In all honesty, you had made it a point not to tell Jungkook goodbye. Although the break up was somewhat clean, it was quite apparent that Jungkook still harbored feelings for you as he never left you alone. You wanted to avoid the dramatic reaction from him to the news of you leaving to live at the castle.

“So you’re working for your father then? That’s fantastic.” He enthused.

“Oh, well, no.” You told him.

“Oh? What, did you not cut it out as a nurse?” Jungkook joked, causing you to frown slightly.

There wasn’t anything wrong with Jungkook really. You broke up with him simply because you realized you really didn’t harbor any romantic feelings towards him. His constant dismissal in your interest for herbology certainly did help with the breakup, however. He, like your father, always tried to encourage you into going into medicine, despite your constant reminders that you much rather study herbalism rather than anatomy.

“No, actually, I have no interest in becoming a nurse. I work as a court herbalist.” You corrected him politely albeit with a slight edge to your tone.

Having had sensed some tension between your and Jungkook’s interaction, Taehyung made his way over to you.

You jumped slightly as a hand intertwined itself with yours, but you relaxed as you realized it was just Taehyung.

“Hello. I don’t believe we’ve met.” Taehyung interjected boldly, causing Jungkook’s expression to harden slightly.

“No, I don’t believe we have.” Jungkook replied dryly, eyes flickering towards your intertwined hands momentarily.

“I’m Tae.”

“Jungkook.” The younger man nodded back. "Are you two–"

"Together? Yes." Taehyung cut Jungkook off, flashing him a smile that didn't meet his eyes.

"Oh," Jungkook responded, noticeably uncomfortable, "do you live at the palace, too?"

Taehyung nodded easily, "I do."

"Ah, so that's how you two met then. Are you an… herbalist as well?"

You turned to look at Taehyung, also curious as to what he might reply.

Taehyung held your eyes for a split second before turning back to Jungkook.

"I work under the prince actually." He lied smoothly.

"Damn. I couldn't imagine waiting on someone's beck and call. Much less some stuck-up prince."

"Oh yeah, it's awful. He's a real asshole." Taehyung mused, causing you to snort.

Taehyung and you shared a knowing look, finding humor in the entire situation.

Jungkook nodded as if he figured as much before offering Taehyung a tight-lipped smile.

"Well, I'm sure Y/N is trying to show you all around the village so I won't keep you both any longer." Jungkook cleared his throat. "It was good to see you again, Y/N."

"Likewise." You told him with a small smile.

Jungkook turned towards Taehyung and after an awkward beat of silence, offered him a polite nod before slipping out of the pharmacy.

Taehyung's eyes narrowed immediately, "I don't like him."

You let out a laugh.

"Jungkook is harmless. Kind of insufferable, but mainly harmless."

"Any chance you have some sort of natural laxative on you that'll make him shit himself for days that we can offer him before we head back?"

"Sorry to disappoint, but I don't make it a habit to carry poisons around with me." You rolled your eyes, a grin present.

"Shame." Taehyung teased, brushing his shoulder into yours jokingly.

Consequently, the prince’s eyes fall onto his hand, and his cheeks pinked as he realized he was still holding your hand. He let go immediately.

"Sorry." He apologized, clearing his throat awkwardly.

Holding your hand felt oddly natural and up until now, he had forgotten entirely that your hand was in his.

To his surprise, you bit down onto your lip, moving to take his hand into yours.

"Don't be. After all, we’re together, remember?” You teased, referring to how Taehyung had lied about you and him being a couple to ward off Jungkook. “I have a feeling we're going to have to use that cover more than once today."

Taehyung felt a weird feeling of elation run through him. He liked the idea that he could hold your hand freely, if only for today.

Instead of expressing that, however, he raised an eyebrow up dramatically.

"How many exes do you have?" He accused, jokingly.

You rolled your eyes.

"That’s not what I meant. Couples attract less attention, you know. Public displays of affection make people uncomfortable. You saw how Jungkook quickly left after he saw us holding hands." You told him.

"Hmm. I suppose you have a point." He offered, before throwing you a skeptical glare. "You still didn't answer my question."

You gave him a pointed look, despite the fact that the sides of your mouth tugged upwards.

"Come on." You sang, tugging your boyfriend for the day out the door.

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The sun had just begun to set on your small town; just as well as you and Taehyung had grown tired from your afternoon adventure. You had taken him everywhere you thought he might enjoy: the springs, the farmhouse, the local theatre, your old house. And as the two of you walked down the cobbled stone of the now significantly less crowded market, you reminisced on your day and planned your next journey.

“We could go to Tanbarun next!” Taehyung offered excitedly. “There’s an elderly lady who always offers me bread and milk whenever she sees me.”

“I’ve never been to Tanbarun.” You confessed, excited at the prospect of traveling out of your small village.

To your surprise, Taehyung grabbed your hand and spun you around, causing you to let out an elated giggle.

“They’ve got the best gardens, Y/N. I can’t wait for you to see them, you’ll drool all over yourself.” The prince teased, clearly in a playful mood.

You rolled your eyes at what he was suggesting.

“While the thought of new plants and flowers excite me, I will not be drooling.” You defended, as you walked past two men that were headed in the opposite direction of you and Taehyung.

“...royal guard.”

The words flew past your ears so fleetingly that you almost swore you had imagined it, but you turned towards the conversing men that had walked past you regardless.

“What’s wrong?” Taehyung’s voice rang out from behind you, confused as to why you had turned around.

“I think they said something about seeing a royal guard?” You told him, eyeing the backs of the men as they walked.

“What?” Taehyung’s turned back at the direction the men had come from.

“Shit.”

You didn’t even have the chance to turn around to see what the prince was referring to when his hand found yours and he began to tug you forward, back down the way you had just come from.

“Woah– What’s happened?” You exclaimed, causing Taehyung to sent you a panicked ‘We have to go.’

You struggled to keep up with his pace and didn’t even register the sound of horse feet trailing somewhere behind you.

Glancing over your shoulder, you let out at a gasp at the sight of a royal guard perched upon a white horse, the royal family’s crest printed on the side of the horse rug. The horse trotted forward as the guard’s eyes rolled over the market, clearly haven’t seen Taehyung yet.

The guards were no doubt sent out for him by now, his absence at the meeting serving as proof of his disappearance.

You turned back around, heart pounding. You didn’t want Taehyung to get in trouble; you shouldn’t have agreed to sneak out with him in the first place, the least you could do is help him get back home unnoticed.

“There!” You pointed towards the small alleyway just up ahead to the right of you. If you remembered correctly, there was a dumpster tucked away that you both could hide behind. It wasn’t an ideal situation but it was the only one you could come up with given your circumstances.

You pull Taehyung into the alleyway by the hand and nearly curse again once you saw that the small alleyway was not only a dead end but was empty of anything you could possibly hide behind.

Heart in your throat, you poked your head out to view the main road.

“Dammit, dammit, dammit.” You chanted at the sight of the royal guard only a couple feet away.

You bit down onto your lip.

It was pointless; the guard was going to peer into the alleyway and see Taehyung and you standing here helplessly.

“Y/N, it’s okay. This is my problem, not yours. I’ll tell them I made you go with me.” The prince told you, eyebrows furrowed.

If Taehyung was trying to comfort you, it was pointless as the sound of a horse just seconds away from approaching had all your attention.

Suddenly, an idea entered your mind and before you could think to second guess it, you yanked Taehyung’s hood over his head and pulled him into you, your lips finding his.

Taehyung froze in place, a small noise of surprise erupting from the back of his throat.

You pressed your eyes shut, focusing on what you could hear. At the sound of the guard beside you, you wrapped an arm around his neck, hoping to imitate a couple intertwined in an intimate embrace.

Taehyung placed a hand on your waist, still completely dumbfounded, and at the sound of the guard riding past the two of you, you finally pull away.

Your eyes meet Taehyung’s immediately. They mirrored yours; wide and in disbelief, as if neither of you could believe what you had just done.

“I…I just remembered how public displays of affection make people uncomfortable. Um, my thought process was that if he saw us kissing and couldn’t see who you were then he’d just look away and keep going.” You rambled, voice shaking slightly as what you had done finally hit you. “S-Sorry.”

Taehyung just nodded at you silently, muttering a small thank you as his entire face turned bright red.

The journey back to the castle was a painful one, both unable to take your mind off the unexpected kiss. Awkward attempts of small talk plagued the ride back and you wanted to bury yourself into the ground.

When you finally arrived back at the castle and exchanged your uncomfortable goodbyes, you nearly ran towards your room, burying your face into your pillow as you replayed the moment over and over, crippling embarrassment overtaking you.

And when nighttime finally rolled around and Taehyung requested tea, you sent a maid over in your place, choosing to avoid the very face that was burned etched permanently into your mind.

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

A week had passed since you last spoke to the prince. You had managed to avoid him for the most part, still unable to face him after what you had pulled back in the village. You threw yourself into work, the distraction serving as solace for your flustered heart.

It wasn’t until after your kiss did you realize you held feelings for Taehyung. Speaking to him, holding his hand, everything felt natural when you were with him. He made you feel good about yourself and you wanted so deeply for him to feel the same way about himself. You believed in him blindly and you couldn’t even focus on how foolish you were to fall for a prince with the memory of his lips against yours still haunting you.

You let out a frustrated sigh, your footsteps echoing across the corridor as you walked across it.

You were in a terrible mood; word of your excursion with the prince had somehow made it way across the castle, and you had once again overheard those nasty Countesses speaking about you.

“Did you hear what she’s done now?”

“She took Prince Taehyung back to her village on some secret rendezvous.”

“Not just the royal tea girl is she? Now she’s become the prince’s royal bed warmer.”

Their condescending tones lingered on your mind and you grew angrier as time went by. You had walked away before you heard anymore, but the damage was done. You had taken Taehyung out to the village so that he could learn about one of the places in his kingdom so that he could help it. Not that the Countesses would care about that. It didn’t matter what you did, the people of this castle would always look down on you.

A hand wrapping around your wrist pulled you from your thoughts, and you turned around to meet Taehyung’s worried eyes.

He had been on his way to the royal infirmary to speak to your father when he saw you walking. He had called your name multiple times, but the distracted look on your face told him you hadn’t even registered his calls.

He knew you had been avoiding him, no doubt in response to feeling embarrassment over what happened in that alleyway. But a week had passed and he couldn’t go another day without speaking to you. If he had done something to upset you, then he wanted to fix it.

“What?” You snapped, too caught up in your anger to watch your tone.

“Woah… I just wanted to say hello. We haven’t spoken in a week…” Taehyung defended, raising his arms up as if to show he meant no harm. “Is something wrong?”

You let out a breath. You didn’t want to talk to Taehyung if you were being honest. You were too annoyed by what the countesses had said to think about your shared kiss, but it was still frustrating to see the face of the man you liked, knowing he didn’t like you back.

“Nothing.” You huffed, “Just some snarky comment made by the Countesses. Again.”

“What did they say?”

You stared at him for a moment, contemplating whether or not to tell him.

You let out a scoff as you replayed their conversation in your head.

“They assumed I was… They called me your royal bed warmer.” You said with a deep frown, your anger bubbling within you with every word you spoke.

Taehyung’s eyes widened in surprise, “The royal what?”

“Apparently you and I going out to see your kingdom constitutes into me whoring it out for you.” You huffed.

“For nobility, they sure aren't ladylike.” Taehyung joked, hoping to make you laugh. It proved pointless, however, as your sour mood didn't ease up.

“They're so contradictory. They always stress that I’m the royal tea girl, that I'm just some commoner. If that's the case then what business does a prince have sleeping with me?” You exclaimed with a flail of your arms.

“Y/N.” The prince tried.

“I get that they’re in the court but what do they gain from kicking me down? I’m already below them in rank, which is so important to them as it's all they talk about. Bunch of royal bitches!”

“Y/N, relax.” Taehyung laughed, causing you to scowl.

“I am relaxed!” You snapped, crossing your arms over your chest.

Taehyung took a step towards you, eyes fixated on the unrelenting pout you wore.

“Why do you care what they think anyway?” He inquired, his hands pulling at your crossed arms.

Your arms fell to your sides and your eyes widened as Taehyung’s large hands ran down the lengths of your arms before intertwining his hands with yours.

“I-I don’t.” You countered, voice high as his sudden gesture caught you off guard. Your eyes flickered to focus on the wall behind Taehyung, away from the prince’s unwavering stare.

“Really? Kind of sounds like you do.” He teased and you could hear the smirk he wore just by his tone. Your eyes snapped back to meet his.

“Why do you care if I care? You’re meant to be on my side.” You pouted despite knowing how childish you sounded.

Taehyung raised his eyebrows in amusement, dragging a thumb over the top of one of the hands he held.

“Am I?”

“Y-Yes. It’s what friends do.” Your voice felt weak. Having Taehyung this close to you, touching you as if it was something as casual as breathing was laboring your own.

And as if your heart wasn’t struggling enough to pump oxygen throughout your body, it nearly stopped all together the moment Taehyung leaned into you.

Wait... was he going to kiss you?!

A single thump of your heart was the last thing you heard before you pressed your eyes shut, your body shrinking slightly.

“I thought you were just my bed warmer.” Taehyung’s warm voice purred into your ear, causing your eyes to fling open in surprise.

You pulled your hands back from Taehyung’s grip, pressing them against the laughing prince’s chest and you pushed him away from you.

You let out a small noise of disdain, hands clutched against your chest. Your heart ran a mile a minute, and you couldn’t come up with a reply if you wanted to.

“I’m sorry.” Taehyung laughed, clearly amused at your reaction.

You turned your burning face away from the giggling prince, hardly hearing his boisterous laughs through the sound of your heart pounding in your ears.

You thought he was going to kiss you. Of course, he wasn’t going to kiss you. Why would he want to kiss you?

Embarrassment sunk into you as you realized how foolish you were to think that Taehyung might like you like that.

You turned on your heel, quickly walking away from the dark-haired prince.

“Y/N? Woah, I’m sorry. I was just teasing.” You heard Taehyung say, accompanied quickly by footsteps behind you.

“It wasn’t funny.” You deadpanned, continuing forwards, tears forming in your eyes. You heard Taehyung freeze, his footsteps silencing as he stood in place silently, watching you walk away.

As embarrassed as you were, it was the fact that you had wanted Taehyung to kiss you that hurt. It was foolish– you were foolish. Falling for a prince when you were no more than a servant was so incredibly stupid. You didn’t know how you had let it happen, but you knew that you knew better.

You made your way to your room, cheeks wet from your tears. You swiped them away angrily. ┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

"Father, do you have any band-aids on you before I go bother the nurses?" You started, slipping into your father's office.

You took a seat on his desk, a habit of yours he didn't appreciate very much.

Your father let out a sigh, looking up from the newspaper he had been reading before you barged into his office.

"White medicine cabinet, third drawer." He told you from his seat, eyeing the area of his desk you were perched upon as if to tell you to get up.

"Thank you!" You sang, hopping down onto your feet.

You were in a great mood today. Your last exchange with Taehyung was two days ago and had left you feeling sad and trapped within the palace, where you could run into him at any moment.

So this morning, you took it upon yourself to travel back into the village, this time to shop and spend time with the people there you cared about. Your mood was instantly lifted, the sun was out and warmed your skin deliciously, and it had really put things into perspective for you.

Everything you were upset about, the kiss, the Countesses, Taehyung, none of that couldn't be overlooked. The kiss would eventually become something you'd look back on and laugh at. The Countesses didn't take away from the fact that you were still at the royal castle studying under brilliant herbalists and you were working in a field you loved.

And as for the heart-wrenching feelings towards the prince that you carried... well, you could at least be grateful for the relationship you had with him, even if it was solely platonic.

Well, being that the two of you were even still friends that is...

Pulling the drawer open, you pulled out a band-aid. As pathetic as it sounded, you had accidentally given yourself a stupidly deep paper cut. Thankfully, you had some anti-bacterial cream on you when it happened, but seeing as you were going to need to use your hands the remainder of the day, you wanted to cover the wound.

As you wrapped it around your finger, you couldn't help but notice that the one medical bed your father's office held was hidden by the privacy curtains that hung around it.

You frowned.

"Why are the curtains drawn together?" You inquired.

As far as you know, the curtains were only used whenever someone was using the bed and being examined. But seeing as your father was sat at his desk reading a newspaper, you were fairly certain that wasn't the case.

"Oh... No reason." Your father told you, his tone entirely unconvincing.

You hummed, holding your father's eyes challengingly.

"Leave it." He warned as if reading your mind.

"Too late, my curiosity has been piqued." You shrugged moving toward the curtain.

"Y/N–"

A pair of panicked eyes met yours as you pulled back the white material of the curtain.

"Tae?" You said out loud, your head tilting in confusion.

"Doc," Taehyung whined, head turning towards your father, "what happened to not letting anyone know I was here?"

The doctor merely shrugged, "Not my fault I have the world's most inquisitive daughter."

"This is a good thing. Y/N told me the two of you are friends, she can keep you company and keep watch as I go and get some dinner." He continued, standing up from his chair.

At your father's words, you cringed slightly. You didn't need Taehyung knowing you spoke about him to your father.

You could feel Taehyung staring at you, and you made it a point not to look at him.

"You don't mind, do you?" Your father asked, causing you to open your mouth to speak, only to shut it again.

Ideally, no you didn't want to be left alone with Taehyung, but you supposed it was about time to make amends with him.

"Of course not."

Your father gave you a grateful nod, "I leave him in your capable hands then."

And with that, Taehyung and you were left alone. Silence ran over you both for few moments before you cleared your throat.

"Why are you hiding in my father's office?" You began, hoping to strike up a conversation.

Taehyung flashed you a guilty look, "There are some people here that my father wants me to meet so I begged your father to let me hide here instead."

"I thought you weren't going to avoid your prince duties?" You teased lightly.

He scrunched up his nose at you.

"More like avoiding my father's poor attempts of matchmaking." Taehyung huffed, causing your heart to pang slightly. You smiled despite it.

“You look nice– Your hair, I mean.” He clarified quickly, in case it made you uncomfortable. Your hair was pulled back into braids and he could see the pretty flowers that had been intertwined into them. You looked beautiful. Your skin looked radiant from a day out in the sun and your lips wore some kind of pink tint he hadn’t seen you wear before.

You offered him a small smile.

“Oh. Thank you. Some girls in the village did it for me.” You explained, rubbing your thumb

Taehyung gave an impressed nod.

“I heard what you did. Getting the king to agree to cut off the water that fed the castle ground fountains and redirecting it to the village, I mean. The villagers told me and they're all very grateful to you.” You continued, biting down onto your lip. Taehyung’s eyes fell to your mouth for just a moment before he looked back up to flash you a smile.

“I would’ve never been able to help them if it weren’t for you.” He told you earnestly and you couldn’t help but return his smile back at him.

Suddenly his smile dropped, a serious expression coming over him.

“I miss you.” He spoke through a blush, catching you off guard.

“Tae–” You began.

“I miss talking to you and spending time with you. I miss you getting all flustered when I tease you and I miss being able to make you laugh. I miss the way you have to take a few moments to recover every time you ride Yeontan because you don’t handle heights well. I miss seeing you covered in dirt almost every time I see you. I miss having you by my side.” Taehyung took a shaky breath, wiping his sweaty palms onto his pants. “Also... I suck at making tea.”

You knew he was being sincere and candid, but his last words took you by surprise and before you knew it you were laughing. Taehyung stared at you cautiously, unsure of what to make of your response.

“I’m... sorry.” You apologized through laughter, feeling bad for laughing at him but god, he was so endearing.

“I really put my feelings out there, you know. You laughing at me is incredibly ego damaging.” Taehyung huffed before a chuckle of his own broke through his lips.

And for a lovely moment, the two of you stood together laughing, the happy atmosphere almost tangible.

“I missed you too.” You told him shyly causing Taehyung’s heart to skip a beat.

Taehyung grinned, “Any chance you know of a ‘Thank god we're friends again' tea that you’d be willing to share with me tonight?”

You stared at the prince for a moment. The way he smiled up at you from his seat took your breath away still, just like it always did. His smile felt like the summer and it warmed you from head to toe.

You let yourself bask in it for a few seconds longer before grinning mischievously at him.

“It just so happens I do.”

┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈┈

"Of all the tea's you've made me, this has to be my favorite." Taehyung told you, taking another sip from his cup before grimacing slightly.

You laughed at his gesture, contrasting with his words. You felt slightly tipsy, a consequence of the alcohol you had mixed in with the chamomile tea.

"I'm serious!" He defended causing you to roll your eyes.

"Mixing the alcohol with tea was kind of a spur of the moment decision. Just say you hate it like I do."

“Hey, I happen to like gin. It tastes like Christmas trees.” Taehyung grinned. You raised an eyebrow, laughing softly.

“Have you eaten a Christmas tree before?” You inquired, grabbing both of your teacups off the bed and placing it onto the tea tray you had placed on Taehyung’s nightstand. You weren't going to force him to drink any more of the atrocious concoction, you decide as you grab the bottle of gin you had brought with you. You handed him the bottle.

“No.” He shrugged, taking a swig of gin. He handed you back the bottle eagerly, bringing a hand to wipe at his mouth.

You took your own sip, grimacing slightly as the alcohol made it’s way down your throat.

The familiar feeling of Taehyung's stare burning against your skin washed over you.

"You're doing that thing again."

"What thing?" He blinked at you.

"The thing where you stare at me wordlessly." You reminded him.

Taehyung shrugged, "I like looking at you. Looking at you is like looking at everything that is good and right in the world."

"Wha– Are you drunk?" You laughed, taken aback at his words.

"Getting there." He confessed through a cheesy smile.

It was strange. How on paper an irresponsible prince and a headstrong herbalist seemed like an odd match, but sat on Taehyung's bed, exchanging gin induced laughter, it all seemed to make perfect sense to you.

“Mm,” Taehyung said suddenly, a hand resting on his cheek.

“Everything okay?” You asked, blinking curiously.

“I'm warm.” He said.

You frowned, “Bad warm?”

"No. Drunk warm."

"Oh, yes! Gin will make you warm.” You nodded. “Tea, too!”

You had reached the point where conversations hardly held anything of substance, not that either minded.

“Are you warm?” Taehyung inquired out loud, almost as if to himself.

Before you could think to respond, one of his hands found your face, his palm cupping your cheek.

“You feel hot, Y/N.” Taehyung exclaimed with wide eyes.

Your heart skipped a beat, as your feelings for Taehyung suddenly hit you once again. Your eyes fell to the bed you both sat on, his large hand caressing your cheek not helping you out temperature wise.

“You were warm that day, too.” Taehyung hummed, causing you to look up at him in confusion.

“Huh?” You responded intelligently, unable to think past the feeling of his thumb stroking your cheek.

“The day you kissed me. You were warm that day too.”

All words left your throat. Your heart was beating so loudly that you feared Taehyung might be able to hear it if he listened closely enough.

And to your surprise, Taehyung leaned into you, before pausing in front of your face, embarrassingly close. The hand that was once on your cheek fell down to your neck loosely as he moved.

“Tae?” You questioned. You weren't sure if it was the alcohol or Taehyung’s proximity but you felt dizzy and flushed.

No response came from the prince as his mouth found yours, the soft warm flesh of his lips stilling you.

You placed a hand against Taehyung's thigh, holding onto the limb to steady you.

"Sorry." He apologized as his mouth broke away from yours, only to kiss you again.

A small noise left the back of your throat in response, reeling in the feeling. But before you could think to deepen the kiss, Taehyung pulled away.

“I miss you. But I don't miss being just friends. Fuck, it isn’t enough anymore.” He breathed. Leaning over, he pressed an opened mouth kiss onto your neck.

You let out a gasp, hands reaching out to grip onto the sides of his shirt.

His mouth was gentle, showering your exposed flesh with adoring kisses.

There was so much you wanted to say, yet you struggled to formulate a single word as he pressed his hot tongue against your neck.

Taehyung could hear your pounding heart against his mouth and the small whine you let out only spurred him on more.

“Hot.” Was all you could muster up as a response. Taehyung pulled away from your neck in confusion.

“Y-Your tongue, I mean. It’s hot.” You muttered embarrassedly, not meaning to cause Taehyung to stop.

“Bad hot?” Taehyung said with a tilt of his head, mimicking the question you had asked him just a few minutes ago.

You shook your head ‘no’ rapidly, eager to fix the mistake you had made. Your reservations lowered by the alcohol in your system and with the memory of Taehyung’s tongue spurring you on, you pressed your mouth to the prince’s.

Taehyung was quick to push you back onto the length of his bed, situating himself in between your legs.

His tongue found yours finally and you almost moaned at the feeling. It moved against yours sinfully and you knew you were ruined, wrapping your legs around his hips, inviting him to roll them into you.

“Wait, wait,” Taehyung said through a heavy breath, having had broken the kiss. You frowned at his words, choosing instead to run your fingers through his dark hair that you liked so much and bring his mouth back onto yours.

Taehyung let out a growl, hand finding your jaw as he gave in to your desires and kissed you the way you wanted him to. His teeth had found purchase onto your swollen bottom lip when he pulled away once more.

You let out a whine. You didn't mean to be this needy but you couldn't help it now that the two of you had gotten this far. You lifted your head to kiss him once again, but this time Taehyung lifted entirely off you, sitting back on his heels, your legs on either side of him.

“No, baby, this isn’t how I want to have you. I don’t want to fuck you in some drunken spur of the moment thing.” He shook his head as if to clear it.

You couldn’t help but pout at his words.

“Don’t look at me like that.” He sighed.

“Like what?” You sulked.

“Like I’m some sort of monster for denying you sex.”

You tut your tongue, “‘It’s ‘cause you are.”

And then Taehyung leaned over and kissed you, not because he intended to fuck you, but because you were so damn cute that he would lose his damn mind if he didn’t.

You took advantage of his moment of weakness, wrapping an arm around him to pull him into you so you could deepen the kiss.

Taehyung let out a dark chuckle at your feeble attempts to seduce him. He broke the kiss, his hand coming up to fiddle with the button of your blouse.

"Hmm,” he hummed lowly, “you’re desperate for my cock, aren’t you?”

It was as if some sort of switch had been flipped, the usually light-hearted prince's aura suddenly grown dominant and commanding.

You let out a small groan at his words, taken aback by how much your body had reacted to his words.

Taehyung didn’t miss your reaction, however, his eyes darkening as they peered down at you through his dark bangs.

“Take your shirt off.” He demanded, his tone authoritative.

You complied quickly, your underwear dampening embarrassingly at his shift in mood.

At the sight of your pretty white bra, Taehyung visibly shifted, his cock growing increasingly uncomfortable tucked away in his clothes.

“So fucking beautiful.” He sighed, voice low and smooth, fingertips trailing down the outer side of one of your thighs.

“Please touch me.” You whimpered, causing Taehyung’s eyes to snap back onto your face, a smirk pulling at his lips.

“Who knew my pretty little girl was such a pretty little slut?”

“Tae…” You protested, unable to meet his eyes for any longer.

“I know, baby. I know.” He cooed, as his leaned over and pulled your bra up over your breasts.

A soft noise slipped through your lips as his wrapped his around your soft bud, his hot tongue taking its time to torture it. His other hand found your other breast, thumb rolling over the nipple in a pattern at mimicked his tongue.

Unable to hold back for any longer, you rolled your hips up to his, and to your utter relief, he met your motions, his hard cock pressing against your drenched center deliciously.

“Oh, fuck.” You purred as he rutted himself against your panty clad clit, causing you to grip onto his back, trying desperately not to dig your nails into him.

Your nipple was released with a soft ‘pop’ and before you could register what had happened, Taehyung ran his hot tongue along the side of your neck.

“Wanna fuck you so bad. Fuck, I bet you feel amazing.”

“P-Please.” You begged, a low whine emerging from the base of your throat, your hips still meeting every rut of Taehyung’s desperately. It was bliss but it was momentary and all you could think about was what it would feel like to have his hot, thick cock sinking into you and rocking into you with the same ardor he held now.

Taehyung took the skin of your neck between his teeth, letting out a noise of disapproval.

“Oh, you’re not getting my cock, baby. No matter how much you need and beg for it.”

Your eyes widened. He wasn’t going to fuck you?

God, you could burst into tears right now. He had you so wound up and you couldn't even fathom not getting the release you so desperately needed.

“Spread your legs for me.” Taehyung said, pressing a final kiss against the base your neck.

Face warm, you complied, pulling your legs apart.

You could feel the fabric that was slick with your arousal move against your most intimate area slightly as you moved, and you bit down onto your bottom lip from letting out an embarrassing noise.

Taehyung was quick to move, running two fingers down the length of your inner thigh.

You flinched as he ran his fingers across the wet fabric of your panties, pressing into the fabric in a way that had you bucking your hips up.

"Fuck, no teasing." You cried, pressing your eyes shut as his thumb found your aching clit.

His mouth had once again found your breast as if he wasn't able to get enough of you.

And when he finally slipped his hand into your panties, you couldn't stop the whimper that rolled off your tongue.

His long digits toyed with your wet center, his middle finger teasing your entrance.

"You're fucking soaked. You need my fingers fucking into you? Don’t you?"

He was cruel. Even if he wasn't going fuck you like you wanted, he wanted to hear you beg for him. He liked the idea that you were dependent on him, that he was the only one who could give you what you wanted.

"Yes, god, yes I need your fingers!" You cried out, unable to register your embarrassment thanks to the feeling of Taehyung's long finger sinking into you.

Your hips moved on their own according, meeting Taehyung's motions messily.

You had assumed Taehyung was well versed when it came to affairs of the sexual kind. He was constantly escaping into the arms of his kingdom, there had to be more than a couple of instances where those arms became more than just figurative ones. So for him to be seen in his element during this kind of activity didn’t surprise you.

But this was ridiculous; he read your body like a damn book, rolling his fingers deep and hard into you only to pull back when you grew too close to your release.

High pitched whines and profanities left your mouth and you could feel your sanity slipping away as Taehyung edged you mercilessly.

Every time you opened your mouth to protest, he silenced you with his own mouth, kissing you hotly and nulling your thoughts.

His thumb rolled over your clit, the sensation nearly pushing you to the edge, but once again, he pulled away just before you could cum.

"Tae, please. No more. I can't– I need to cum." You sobbed, thighs and voice trembling.

Taehyung pressed a kiss down on your chest, enjoying the obscene sounds that came from where he was finger fucking you.

His eyes met you teary ones, "Hmm, I'll let you cum under one condition."

"God, anything!" You hissed, a loud moan escaping you.

"Go out with me." He smirked, adding in another finger.

You nearly asked Taehyung to repeat himself, unable to believe what he had just said. Was he joking?

At the feeling of Taehyung his fingers up inside you, your back arched, breath robbed from you momentarily.

"Are you, ah fuck, serious?" You frowned, hand wrapping around the wrist of that hand that was the source of your agony. You wanted to punch him. If agreeing to go out with him was what you need in order for him to let you cum than you would have agreed to it yesterday.

"Mhm." He mused.

"Tae–" Your response cut off by a moan. "Fuck... yes, I'll go out with you."

Taehyung's thumb once again found your poor abused clit, not holding back in pressure like he had been before. He spared you no warning, his fingers once again curling up into you in a way that had you choking on your own sob. Your mouth fell ajar slightly as your eyes shut, your release finally blinding you.

You came with Taehyung's name on your tongue, small sounds of sobs following as you legs quivering in the aftermath of your release.

Once your orgasm had let down, you let out a hollow breath, blinking harshly as your vision returned to you spottily.

You had never cum that hard and you were still trying to make sense of it all; you hardly registered the sound of Taehyung trying to comfort you.

"Are you okay? Was that okay?" Taehyung asked you again as he pressed multiple chaste kisses to your cheek.

You attempted to pull yourself up onto your elbows, still breathing hard.

"You're a little shit." You finally spoke, sending an exhausted glare Taehyung's way.

Taehyung let out a laugh as he kissed you lightly.

You sighed at the feeling, and despite the turmoil you had just gone through, you found yourself trying to deepen the kiss, thoroughly addicted to the taste of him.

"Hold on." He chuckled, breaking the kiss. "I was serious earlier. I don't want this to be a spur of the moment thing. Forgiving me for the old-fashioned, but I am a prince and I should be courting you before I do something like that again. And I want you to agree because you want to, not just because the situation calls for it but because you like me. Because I like you, Y/N. A lot."

You couldn't help but fawn over the suddenly blushing prince, a complete contrast to the Taehyung that held you from your orgasm just moments ago.

"I like you, too." You confessed shyly.

A brilliant smile fell across Taehyung's face at your words, causing your heart to soar.

"So, you'll go out with me?" He questioned excitedly.

You giggled, "Yes, I'll go out with you."

"Oh, thank god. Guess that means I can stop pretending to like tea now."

You let out a surprise scoff, "Excuse you!"

Taehyung flashed you a cheeky grin as he moved to push you back against the bed, muttering an apology as he kissed you once again, a smile on both your faces.

[it-is-ok-i-am-ok]

Wait, why are you getting kicked off social security and state aid? 💕💕

Sorry for the late reply. This story is wild from start to end so hang on for the ride

Long story short, the original problem was that SS has to start counting my boyfriend and I as married, which like….no. They said they have to for two reasons (mostly because of reason one), but I do understand don’t get me wrong.

1. We signed for a timeshare together. 

2. He put me as his beneficiary for his life insurance. 

Now, let me explain. 

I went into the timeshare thing (you know the usual like being shown this shit blah blah blah) being like nope we aint buying. (We had to go through it to get something we won or something which in the end was BS gift) We go into “Signing” room and I’m like nope, nada. But then everything just went…so wrong. Long story short, I’m obviously on disability for a reason ok. (I was granted both physical and mental but I won my case in five minutes because of my mental LOL). People who have mental illnesses, especially borderline personality disorder probably understand me on this one. Condo: I couldn’t get out, as hard as I tried. My boyfriend, he’s obviously my BOYFRIEND not my HUSBAND because he still don’t get it all (like my mum who is my representative in every aspect except the stupid payee which makes it “official”). So he like didn’t understand what he was doing was bad and my ques of like holy shit this needs to stop not like my momma. Finally I was like ok ok ok what the fuck ever but it’s your timeshare I want nothing of this, we break up its yours. Then they come back and say because of his credit he couldn’t. So then here we go I immediately feel guilt (without anyone having to say anything more) and my guilt problems cause me anxiety problems which causes me to do the stupidest shit on earth like my guilt problems are legit one of the beggist things i work on in therapy. So they assured me, If i put my name it’s like being a co-signer bleh bleh bleh. It’s in our contract that he pays. While signign they were even like you can read the contract later if you just wanna sign now. Like it was that fucked up.

The beneficiary whatever. Jonathan told me he had to put someone or that was his understanding and lemme telll you, im the only choice. I was assured it could be changed and this wasn’t permanent because I dont want that kinda commitment. I just idk I didn’t think anything of it and just thought i was helping someone because i have another problem with ovre-compassion as i call it lol.

So fast forward she tells me ight well we gotta count you as married. And I’m like WHAT NO I WILL LOSE EVERYTHING. and she omfg she’s like “well you don’t know that” and I’m like bitch…I know I’m right.

Well guess fucking what, yes I would lose everything. Even tho his money, his work, we aint sharing it it aint joint bank account wahbam, fuck me right.

Now, wouldn’t this be your first clue that you shouldn’t count as us married (one of first things I asked):

“Well, what if we break up!?” She then told me blah blah blah I have a year then i’m fucked. Then for like 1.5 hour we talked and at the end she got it, I was a blubbering mess. So she was like ok i aint promising anything because if someones doing this stuff, I put them as married end of story….but i’m gonna send you, your bf, and mom able to write statements blah blah. 

Then as the end it was very lightly mentioned “Oh wait..you might no matter what lose stuff because it’s a resource” but it was said like no real concern. I then realized later hell fucking yeah it’s a concern.

So my mum and I are talking and I’m like this is bananas, it aint like oh man i signed on the dotted line and i regret it…it’s like I have a mental illness that makes it so sometimes uhmmmm I may act rash, or be influenced etc DUH. And then BAM. It just hit me.

A WEEK PRIOR I HAD LITERALLY BEEN IN A MENTAL HOSPITAL. Not 2 weeks, not 1.5 week but a WEEK. I was in there because I was on a medication that was making me plan out my suicide….I was released because the agreed I was safe enough to at least not KILL myself. Not because I was 100% off the med or 100% ok in the membrane. And then i had this vague memory that I signed this shtit leaving the hospital about how I’m not mentally capable of making any life decisions or something. (Their way of saving my ass I guess). I get a call back on monday about that if I did.

So my mom talked to this bomb ass lawyer and long story short I’m 99.9999999% sure I’m gettingout of this contract. 

So ok that solves that problem. And considering again sign contract acting married wasn’t mentally 100% shouldn’t count for married either. And seeing how she was really believing me long story short….

No, I now don’t think I will lose everything. 

I want to set the record straight tho, I just days ago thought I was losing 

1. Social security income

2. Medicare

Then she said the state probably wouldn’t kick me off because they’re more leniant with “marriage” thing. But the resource thing oh man, then I would have also lost

1. I would have went from SS income to state income, but nope nevermind

2. medicaid gone. 

So I would be worth $0 a month, and I mean I would have my parents insurance but I can’t afford that deductable and copay shit, and also Im gonna be 26 eventually. So that means I would be reliable on my boyfriend 100% (which like uhh our relationship is so up and down like no thank you I wanna be able to move out if I want/have to). And his income barely covers one person let alone two. (We did the math if we lost everything and we’d be lucky if we had $50 for the week after paying everything and that’s if we baby how much we spend for gas, food etc). 

This would also mean I’d lose my medicaid appointment transportation which FYI my PT is an hour and 10 minutes away, but then again I couldn’t afford to go anyways to anything. As my convo with my driver went

“Damn, you wouldn’t even be able to work if they forced you….because of how many appointments you have.” 

-me “You know now…they’ll say ‘well cause ya lost everything… youll have plenty of time now LOL”

-her: “And then you woudn’t even be able to work with your “free time” because you need your appoointments to function!”

-me: “EXACTLY” 

So appointments, medications, treatments (Botox anymore? LOL RIGHT and I just got approved for Hetlioz look up that babies price MEGA LOL), affording my car/insurance, my apartment (can’t afford this place no more), internet (if I even could continue school), sadly my lovely rats, my income etc GOOOOONE.

So lets all pray to the gods of the disabled that my contract gets cancelled and I don’t lose everything and actually legit….die. LOL

I went from Wednesday facing the fact that I’m going to die, to friday holy shit I am saved god bless my borderline brain

So moral of the story is my mom is probably going to become my payee, and try to prevent me from getting emotionally influenced or emotionally rash into things, and now my boyfriend nows ques etc. He also obviously knows to NEVER do something like this again. I have also learned that I know I obviously have a brain that works differently and makes even the simpilest things hard, but I’m going to mention in therapy how I want to work on this and we can try to at least (if I can’t able to say no) make my ques known and obviously to jonathan. To talk more beforehand about things and plans, and also make trusted others know what I am ok with and am not. 

[ruffsficstuffplace]

The Keeper of the Grove (Part 32)

Weiss had another dream her second night in the Valley.

She was sitting in a classroom this time, the esteemed halls of the Arcturus Institute of the Arts and Sciences, the school for children of the rich, the famous, and the ridiculously smart as Lumania continued to lose scholars, funding, and prestige to Candela. Her classmates were all the same: beautiful, fashionable, and bored out of their skulls.

The presentation going on at their respective HV receivers was yet another lecture of the history of Candela, specifically about one of its chief founders: her maternal grandfather, Nicholas Schnee. She used to love watching this video just for fun, until it reminded her far too much of how far everything had fallen the moment “Ole Nick kicked the bucket, and left it all to Jack.”

She knew the narration by heart:

“Ever increasing demand for raw materials and power, and ever dwindling natural resources and overloaded wellsprings. Overpopulated and fatally congested cities, and with yet more citizens being born and moving in every day. Rampant corruption, social unrest, city states at war, driven by survival, greed, and just pure, unbridled hate towards anyone deemed the ‘Other.’

“The world of Avalon seemed on the brink of collapse, brought down by the blinding speed of its technological advancement, scandal after scandal in the Church of the Holy Shepherd, the splintering of Captain Piorina 'Piper' Nikos’ once-unified people into the three distinct regions of the Nexus, Solaris, and Zeal.

“It was a time of strife, of uncertainty, of fear; all over, citizens cowered, crushed by the weight of anxiety; fought and killed each other over the scraps; or did their best to hold together a society that was fast falling apart at the very seams.

“And in these darkest hours, when all hope seemed lost, a hero emerged, a man who could not just stand by and let the light of humanity starve itself to death.

“Born in the cutthroat, dog-eat-dog streets and canals of Valentino, trained with the Armed Forces of Avalon in the Nexus, the leader that put an end to the petty in-fighting of Lumania’s academics and scientists, who united the best of the Triumvirate and formed a brave band of scouts, soldiers, settlers, and scientists to venture off into the barren wastelands of the Acropolis, and found our salvation:

“Nicholas Schnee!”

The holo went on to a cliched shot of her grandfather, standing on a mountain top, his energy sword in one hand and his lucky plasma pistol in the other, looking proudly over the foundations of what was to become Candela.

Then, he looked over to Weiss, sheathed his weapons, and stuck out a hand through the holo.

Weiss didn’t even blink as she took it and pulled him out.

“Ah, much better!” Nick said as he climbed out, onto Weiss’ desk. “Thanks, sweetheart; been doing that same stupid pose for far too long...” he grumbled as he climbed down to the floor.

Desensitized and apathetic, no one else noticed.

“Come on, Weiss, let’s get out of here,” Nick said, putting a rough, calloused hand on Weiss’ back.

She happily got up and followed him outside of the classroom, to a giant expanse of pure white.

“Are you actually the spirit of my grandfather, or just my subconscious personified as him?” Weiss asked as they walked.

Nick shrugged. “Who knows! I'd say ask an expert, but if there’s one thing any person who actually knows their stuff will tell you, it’s how much shit they don’t know about. I’ve talked to and learned from enough to know the difference between the real deal, and a phony talking out of their ass.”

Weiss nodded. “So what are you here for, anyway?”

“To give you a pep-talk!” Nick replied, stopping and gently poking her in the chest. “What happened to you, Weiss?”

“Where do I start?” Weiss chirped, smiling. “Shall it be the night I learned that the Keeper of the Grove is actually real and my entire life began to collapse right before my very eyes? Will it be finally getting my sister back after so many years, for all of three days before she was taken away from me again, probably for forever? Ooh, ooh, can it be when I faked my own death because apparently my father considers his stupid ego more important than his own daughter’s life?”

“Wow, keeping it light, aren’t you?” Nick replied flatly.

“Forgive me, but for these past few weeks, life has been repeatedly chewing me up, spitting me out, setting me on fire, then putting out the flames by peeing on me for shits and giggles!”

Nick raised his hands in surrender. “Okay! I get it! I’m sorry! Wrong way to to start off a pep-talk right there!” he yelled. He sighed, and they walked in silence for a few moments. “Let me try again: what does the name ‘Schnee’ mean, Weiss?”

“Unsafe labour conditions? Unethical practices and rampant corruption? Profit over the lives of people?” Weiss replied.

Nick scowled. “Let me be more specific: what did the name ‘Schnee’ mean, before that jackass I regret is my son-in-law and I regret even more is your father went and fucked it up for everyone?”

Weiss sighed. “It meant determination. Quality. Hard work, top-notch service, and cutting-edge technology, all with the goal of making the world a better place to live in for everyone, not just the guys at the top.”

“Exactly! And how did it come to mean that way?”

“You went off on an expedition and found Candela.”

“Wrong. What happened was that I saw the shit all around me, had nothing to my name but washing out at Rank 5 with the Queensguard, and decided if I was going to die penniless and starving on a cold, hard floor, it may as well have been while I was trying to do something to not be poor, hungry, and homeless.

“Me and the original crew, we had no idea what we were looking for, where we were going to find it, or what we’d have to do to get it back to our friends and families back home; all we knew was that we were sick and tired of standing around doing nothing, or spinning our wheels and spraying mud all over ourselves.

“The history books keep skipping to the part where we somehow, magically found ourselves the biggest damn wellspring of raw magic in the history books, one that also happened to sitting over a shit-ton of precious minerals, as if somehow, I had a vision and I just knew we’d have to cross a giant-ass blacktop by night and avoid getting turned to people-jerky by day to get to it.”

His face softened. “But it wasn’t that way, Weiss. You’ve read my journals, haven’t you?”

Weiss nodded. “The ones that didn’t get eaten, destroyed, or lost in some way, at least.”

“What’d they say? What’d I talk about?”

“About how much all of your lives sucked. About how you were constantly cold, hungry, starving, lost,  had absolutely no idea what any of you were doing, and kept discovering new levels to the ‘How-Fucked-We-Are-O-Meter’ every day. And about the many, many, many times you got sick from trying to purify bad water and testing the results on yourself, even when you recruited grandma whose doctorate was entirely about that.”

Nick pointed a finger at her. “Exactly. And on a related note, make sure to keep on drinking that purified water from Penny and shut your mouth in the hot springs; all those hours I spent on the crapper could have been spent on something infinitely better, I tell ya.”

Weiss winced. “I will. Believe me, grandpa, you made VERY detailed notes.”

“You’re damn right I did! And what else did I do?”

“You trained hard and fought smart—talk first, shoot last, threats never. You made friends wherever you could find them, whoever they were because you never knew who was going to stick around when times got rough. You learned about everything you didn’t know, and were always ready to admit you were wrong so you could start being less wrong.”

Nick put his hands on Weiss shoulders. “And what are you going to do, sweetheart?” he asked softly.

Weiss sighed and looked away. “Spend the rest of my life as paid test subject, I guess...”

Nick shook his head. “Wrong answer, sweetheart, and I know you didn't need me to tell you that.”

“Well what am I supposed to do, huh?” Weiss snapped as she began to tear up. “I’m not you, grandpa!”

“True...” Nick smiled as he put his finger over her heart. “But you’re still a Schnee.”

The white light began to fade.

“Turn this shit life of yours around, Weiss,” he said as he began to disappear, too. “For me, for Ruby and all the other Fae, and most importantly, for yourself.”  

Weiss woke up.

She opened her eyes, before she shut them in a hurry. It was morning in the Valley once more, and the light of Avalon’s suns were still as painfully bright as ever. She turned to her other side and started climbing out of her hammock.

Ruby looked over her shoulder from where she was sitting at her terminal. “Oh, hey! You’re awake!” she said as she sat up and dashed over. “You ready to get started on my new super awesome idea?” she said as she helped Weiss out. “I promise it’s better than the last one!”

Weiss nodded sleepily. “Where do I have to go this time?” she asked as she stretched.

“Just outside! Oh, and skip breakfast for now and change into one of your work dresses—they’re the ones that feel a little rougher compared to the rest.” She thumbed to the door. “I’ll leave and get things ready!”

“Wait! Ruby, before you go: have you ever eaten so many cookies and milk that you had a REALLY weird dream afterward? Like, ‘seeing and talking to your dead relatives’ weird?”

Ruby chuckled. “Oh my gosh, like ALL THE TIME! There was one like a week back where I dreamed you, me, my sister Yang, and Blake were like a team of Watchers fighting off these monsters made from hate, jealousy and Mondays, and we all went to this special school together just for that!”

Weiss stared at her. “What is IN those cookies?”

“Uh, milk, flour, eggs, butter, sugar, vanilla, chocolate chips, and a little salt? Why do you ask?”

Weiss groaned. “Nevermind...”

The house was completely empty save for Blake in the kitchen, entirely focused on slicing up her tuna with loving precision; Weiss ignored the growling of her stomach as she headed out the front door and down the elevator.

Ruby was waiting by a giant patch of land infested with weeds, rocks, trees, and all manner of debris that had washed in during the Flood. Beside her was a rack of tools, mostly for farming and some for construction.

The wood was all aged and worn, probably centuries-old like everything in Keeper’s Hollow, but the metal parts were brand new, freshly sharpened and shined.

“You want me clean up your yard?” Weiss asked, eying the overgrowth dubiously.

“No, I want you to try and bring the old farm back to life!” Ruby replied, holding up a bag of seeds. “Starting with these sweet potatoes!”

Weiss turned to the barn in the distance, the one with the tree growing right through its roof. “This place used to be a farm?”

“Yep! Way back when, Gabija’s husband, wife, or whatever they were started a garden here, and it kept on expanding until it became a full-on farm, with Tenders and animals and everything!

“My family’s been kinda on-and-off about it, because Keepers only tend to ever have the one kid, and even then we’re more Watchers than Tenders, but the land’s always good. My dad grew a LOT of great things here—well, before he got banished, anyway.

“So, what do you say? Want to get to work?” Ruby asked, holding up her scythe.

Weiss nodded. “On one condition: I do all of it.”

Ruby blinked, then frowned. “You sure about this, Weiss?”

“Yes,” Weiss said as she walked up to the rack, and picked up a machete.

It took a few hours, but Weiss managed to beat back a little patch of ground, just enough to plant three neat rows of five seeds each, with a little buffer to build a fence in the future. She watered her crops with a giant, 10-liter can, before set it down in the dirt, and followed it soon after.

She sat on the ground, panting, sweating, covered in mud, arms and legs aching, yet feeling better than she had in a while.

Ruby handed her a bottle of purified water and a towel; Weiss thanked her, before she dumped all of the former over her head and wiped herself up with the later, as the suns were already well-up in the sky.

“So how many weeks am I looking at here?” Weiss asked as she caught her breath.

Ruby snorted. “Weeks? Weiss, these are sweet potatoes, they’ll be ready to harvest in three days.”

“Three days?!” Weiss cried. “How is that even possible?”

“Uh, because this is the Valley? Haven’t you noticed how things tend to grow super big and super fast here...?”

“Right...” Weiss muttered.

The two of them stayed there for a few moments, looking at the tiny garden Weiss had started, the many acres more of debris and overgrowth around it.

“It’s going to be a LONG time before I can hope to get this farm up and running again...” Weiss said.

“Yeeep,” Ruby replied. She smiled at her. “But it’s a start.”

Weiss smiled back. “Yeah. It’s a start.”

Beat.

“Do you need me to carry you back home?”

“Yes please...”