#neverevenbeeninafight

[provokingdrama]

"Broken By My Master" c.2001. Acrylic on canvasboard, 14" ×18". The title came from @aliceinchains song "Would?" (via their "Dirt" album, which I was obsessed with at the time), I think it's the first line. Originally I'd titled it with the full line -"Know me, broken by my master..." At the time (as I've been saying) I was unwell, completely housebound - not even positive about whether I was able to drive or not, depending on how much medication I was on. I saw my therapist once or twice a week. It wasn't long after my favorite & only aunt had taken her own life. Part of the painting was about me, part about her. Mainly due to the "master being severe mental illness (which runs in both sides of my family). Because I felt like an outcast and unknown by the rest of humanity - and knowing full well at the time how society thinks of and treats the severely mentally ill (especially those with schizophrenia) I painted myself as an upset, sulking demon in the middle of nowhere, which was how I felt. People automatically think you're dangerous so I became a devil, here. I didn't ask for this disease, and of course neither have any of us with schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder, but here we are. #art #darkart #demon #aliceinchains #would? #dirt #hell #suicide #hidden #schizophrenia #schizoaffectivedisorder #actuallyschizophrenic #selfpity #sulking #anger #weliveinasociety #notademon #demonize #nonviolent #neverevenbeeninafight #howwouldyoufeel #visionaryart #surrealart #artistsoninstagram #igart #igartist #schizophrenicartist #outsiderart #selftaughtartist https://www.instagram.com/p/CWWc3ouhA0j/?utm_medium=tumblr