#never thought wed be living through the plague but hey guess those memes last year were right
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neonacidtrip · 5 years ago
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#soooo#how is life#never thought wed be living through the plague but hey guess those memes last year were right#hhhh#venting is so weird i never really did get a feel for how to do it so i normally just vague post on fb to my nonexistent friends#but part of me feels like i need to do it here because part of what made me break down before was feeling unsafe here#and nothing like shattering your comfort zone to destroy your vulnerabilities eh#maybe im just tired or maybe its because i just had a long night and another fight with my family#and gosh i dont want to get up early or go to bed now or just anything really#but my chest feels like its full of this cold oppressive emptiness and i need to get it out somewhere#because its lonely always keeping to yourself and feeling unneeded or worse yet only used when youre useful#i feel like the last few months have been a free trial period.... not of happiness.... but of life#its been heavy and had its moments but the depressive void of cold and pain hasnt been there#so feeling it come back now is well...... horrifying and devastating.... to say the least#ive been fighting it and searching for distractions in otome games of all things but its didnt work so ehh might as well vague about it here#nothing to lose and nothing to gain as they say#to be clear im not asking for support or anythinf i just want to clear my thoughts#i want to release the poison inside of me without... i dont know...... whatever happened before#maybe its just the month of march. ive hated march ever since *that* year#i havent even changed my routine for self isolation to be the blame for this i just live like this#i feel stuck in my writing and stuck in my life and so very afraid of the things i refuse to name even in my own head#but im nearing the tag limit so guess i should shut up now haha#venting#negative#vague#sorry folks its sad witch hours#*meme voice* maybe if i sit down and cry ill feel better#im gonna vibe check myself with some game that has an oikawa-looking character and get the positive machine back online soon~ see ya around#might fool around and start another throw away wip draft that ill never finish for yahashira who knows#love you all stay safe wash your hands kiss your pets for me and remember capitalism is the virus not people <333
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